Watch What Crappens - RHOM: Oh, Well, You Know Peter...

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

On the second episode of Real Housewives of Miami season 4, we are reintroduced to Alexia's disaster of a son, Peter, who refuses to walk her down the aisle for her wedding and may have contributed to his brother's latest medical emergency. Great! Also, there's a lady wearing a table at a sushi party.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watcher Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo and even peacock that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and also find me on the Game Brain podcast and joining me. It's the one and only.

hilarious and wonderful. Mr. Ronnie Caram, hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello, Bane. How are you doing today? I'm doing really well. Thank you. How's it going over there? Oh, I'm just great. I just caught up on the second episode of Miami

Which we'll be talking about today so glad that shows back Before we dive into that of course be sure to Go get your tickets to our live shows 2022 it's our 10 year anniversary tour at the Hunky Dory tour. It's gonna start off in New York Boston It's gonna go all over the place, 21 different cities. It's gonna be so much fun. It gets to see all of you guys, and you guys get to, it's our first tour in like two years.

It's gonna be a huge blast. Go get your tickets at watchacrapans.com. The crappies were very excited for that. The categories are gonna be out probably just after New Year's, probably just in that first week after New Year's. And those will be open for voting as usual. So we're just sort of working on those right now, the nominations, very exciting stuff. Also don't forget to check us out on Patreon.com slash watch what crap ends.

You get access to things like our bonus episodes. We've been covering selling sunset lately. We also do crap ends on demand. We can watch us, not just listen to us. We did Salt Lake City a big Salt Lake City episode on Monday. And later this week, we are going to do a trailer breakdown of the new Jersey trailer. That's going to be on the main feed, but there will be a crap ends on demand components you can actually watch the trailer along with us as we break it down.

So it's very fun. Plus there's also the discord community, which is potentially one of the most lovely online communities there is. So we always like that. So that's all the fun stuff. That's the full crap and experience. And then for today, oh, well, you know, Peter's time to get into some big Miami talk. This show is so good, Ronnie. This show is so good.

Yeah, the show is really good. We were talking last night and take a seat. The green room show that we do about how dark it is and still so fun. And this was just one of those episodes. I mean, when you come back from this long of a hiatus, when you get picked up after this long and you're so excited to come back to work and it is still this dark girl,

we have got a good season ahead of us. Yeah, when this episode ended, I was watching it with Dom and he's never, I don't think he's ever really even seen my, I mean before. And when they showed the trailer for next week, he just sort of had his hand on his chest and was like, oh my God, oh my God, he's like, I think I may have to come back for the next episode. It was like, what? It's just got like everything. It's just, it's so, it's so

completely insane. And it's funny the things we take for granted, you know? Just like, well, I mean, we're fanning all over it, but people are like, you know, I'm just reading online a little bit. Some people are like you know I'm just reading online a little bit some people are loving it of course everybody thinks differently But some people are like boring boring. What the hell? How are you saying that? This is amazing The dead gay ghost I mean the dead gay ghost the dead gay coke dealer or not gay But the dead coke dealer husband the new stat island husband. Yeah. I mean, it's just all so, so good. Mary soul's tiny apartment house thing. I love it. Gerdy, there's just there's really like so much to embrace about it. So today we're going to be

talking about episode two because Vanderbilt rules was not on this week. And by the way, rules was not on this week. And by the way, I actually just wrote another piece for the dip that's DIP the dip.com. And I gave out I did like a midseason report card on the cast, although I think it might be late season. But either way, I sort of graded how I felt the cast was doing. I went through each cast member and gave them a grade, a letter grade. So if you want to check that out, go to the dip. I'm just promoting my own thing that I wrote. That's all I'm doing. But now back to Miami.

Hey, why not? Okay, so here we are. We are, we're starting with the scene from last week that we ended with, right? And aerosols cottage. It's marisoles house. It's the Rukovanna house. Yeah. And Alex is over with her gay friend,

Johnny, and Johnny has just contacted, or he's about to contact the guy that Herman was sleeping, well, one of the guys, a guy that Herman was sleeping with, that Alexia wants to have a meeting with for closure. Girl. Some things just close them. Like why does somebody else have to close? Just close that shit.

Okay, you close the casket, close it. I don't understand the need for closure on something like that. Just say it's closed. Okay, so we're closed. It's 6 p.m. We're closed. Sometimes when things are just wide open or just gaping wide open, sometimes you might want to close them a little bit.

And I think that's what she wants to do here. And I support it because- I don't feel like gaping open is a really good way to get into this scene, but you know what you do. You know what? Maybe I'm talking about a wound. Maybe I'm talking about a emotional wound.

But either way, you know, the last episode ended with them saying, oh my God, he has a huge penis, which I thought was funny because I thought it was a private profile. But they, but now we look at it and we see it's this like muscle guy. But his face is blurred out. At first, I was like, is he, is this guy not, not allowing his face on camera? But then I think that I'm assuming they just want to build it up for like the moment that he finally appears we get to see his face.

But also, he blurs his face, but not his dick. Because I mean, they don't show his whole dick, but they, you know, it's like pictures of him and Speedo's and stuff. Right. Adam's surprise, he has not already been identified by the internet. He probably has been because he probably has Instagram followers. He clearly looks like an Insta thought, you know, no offense. That's just what he looks like. Because he's musely and in like speedos and like flexing. If you're flexing, if you're flexing short lists on on Instagram and Your mussely, you're kind of an Insta thought like that's just the way it is. It's nothing about who you are I don't know why I'm even have to adopting an apology. I don't know. I don't know why you are either

But the Insta thoughts and Insta thought and thank you for thank you the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, be larger, but I don't think that for the rest of us, that's like a That's an image that we care about right? Why not? I mean something they're working on listen I post raw dough on Instagram. I know that's what I work on so I Just think it's odd. I think it's an odd thing when like a guy's like like when you see just like an Instagram Dude and he's like he does sort of like that phase like yeah. And then takes, brings up one arm and flexes it. I'm like, really? No, I'm into the flex. Like you worked on it, you earned it. I'm more into that than I am when like an Insta thought

is reading a book, you know? You know those ones where they're like, I'm just in a speedo, you know, reading shakes, we're, oh, okay, oh, me. Okay. Well like a speedo with like a motivational quote, you know, like life is really only what you make of it. I'm like, you're sitting here on a bean bag in a,

in a, in a speedo. What are you talking about? Life is over when I make of it, you know? And right now if my life is about looking at you in a speedo, trying to repeat. And I don't say, it works. It's working for me. You know, as long as I'm ranting, I also get really annoyed with personal trainers who

only, who just only post motivational sayings. It's like, I get that you are a personal trainer and I think that's awesome. And it's very cool. And you have like, used a discipline towards your body. But like, a lot of us use discipline and other things. And we don't go around posting inspirational quotes as like as if we are some sort of like guru. Okay. I think we do. We just post housewives quotes. Everybody has their own, you know, inspiration. I think

I'm just, yeah, must be really on one today. So, um, someone masturbated on the wrong side of the bed this morning. But you know,, I will say, getting back to this guy. Oddly enough, I mean, even though it's like, yes, it makes total sense. Herman obviously had this muscle guy. I don't know if he was an escort or not, but of course that's what it was. But realistically, I thought that he was going to have some sort of like sweater gay or something like that, right? Like I was not expecting a young muscle guy for her man.

It makes sense to me, I mean, look Alexi was younger and hot and gorgeous and beautiful, you know, if you're gonna have, why not extend the trophies, you know? Get a trophy of either sex. Yeah, no, I mean, look, I applaud it. I'm just saying, I just thought for some reason his speed was more just like, he had someone named Scott and they would go to his Yams together secretly.

They would like, you know, put hoods on and like go to museums together. Now, yeah, yeah, that's what I sort of thought. Like someone maybe who was played by You know Richard dry face. I don't know like Something in that realm God it's hard enough to date as a gay guy when you're out of the closet You imagine being in the closet. It's like oh my god

Yeah, so let's see so here we are. They're trying to figure out Stuff about this guy and Marisol's like he's quite the disco snack and his bloomers and then she Sucks a lollipop in her die-we room because you know Marisol So it's still episode two not much time has passed. She's still thirsty She was in one and we'll continue. I think just to get thirsty here Yeah, she's still kind of like road testing her kind of like new sassy persona, you know, like she's still kind of like

working on it. That hasn't quite like, she hasn't quite like, you know, stuck the landings yet, you know? She's like a prop comic in the diary room, you know? She's had the big glitter cup with her name on it to SIPT and now she has the lollipop. I'm just hoping she does something with her mouth and props in every episode. Yeah, she's very into it.

So Johnny sends the text being like, let's meet up. And Marisol's like, I don't know if you can handle all this. Alexia's like, well, you know, like I see, you know, I'm fine with it. Like my ex husband was a drug dealer, you know? Like I think that you're curious. You're the one who's curious right now. And she's like, yeah, I am curious. Basically, I one who's curious right now. And she's like, yeah, I am curious.

Basically, I'm sneaky. And so I'm he's like, okay, oh my god, I just got a text back. He said, I just left on eggplant vacation ice cream con bus. So I think that means you guys are going to meet when he gets back. Well, you're not taking the bus, are you? No, no. I told you I should have used an emoji. Mara, Mara, I was like, well, I don't want you to do any of this before your wedding. And Alexa's like, no, no, no, I want this chapter closed before the wedding because after

I get married to, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, Oh! Oh! It's a dog with bad plugs. Let him go back to bed. Oh, okay. So the daughter is just eating the raw eggs and Lisa's like, okay, she's a bodybuilder now. And this is why I love Lisa. You know, she made so much effort to give kids, or to get kids, and now she's just handing them raw eggs.

Yeah, that's a very good point. Like, what's at the point? Please try to be a helicopter mom. Right, when you want kids, you're like looking through catalogs of kids. I assume, I mean, I don't know how it works. When you finally get kids, you're starting to day dream about Salmonella.

Also, what a rude thing to say about Lenny. So speaking of kids, walk with me with this pun, we now see Julia with some goats. Well, my God, kids. Oh, my God. Can I get milk from their boobs with my mouth? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, the most important fight of 2020, 2021. The goat nipple fight between Marisol and Keke. So, um, uh, Julia Julia, I realized I really love Julia

because she's so pretentious. She's definitely out of that Yolanda, you know, Yolanda Hadid mold. And I just feel like what a great addition to this cast that throws someone like that into the mix. I think that she's just going to become more and more of a pretentious asshole and it's going gonna be wonderful. Aren't you, see I'm seeing her as like a really nice sweet lady who's just married to Martina. Martina, she's like, what do you want Martina? Martina's like, you know what I want is on it, a farm.

Okay, let's do farm. And then, you know, it ends up that poor Julia is stuck taking care of everything on the farm while Martina's throwing, you know, tennis balls covered in paint. At various animals. No, I'm telling you, Julia seems very nice, but there's something on about her. And I think that like her whole thing is that she wants to seem very nice, but I guarantee I'm just saying, keep an eye on her. I think that she is going to be a source of a lot of entertainment. She's going to be like, she could be a Caroline Fleming type, if this goes correctly, right?

Where she is like nice, but ultimately she's still just kind of like, as much as she tries to be earthy and all about almond butter, she's still kind of an asshole, right? So I'm glad I hope so. And I hope so. Good thing. Yeah, yeah, fingers crossed. Although you mentioned Yolanda and the rumor is Yolanda's back on Beverly Hills, which really? Twittered.

Why are you triggering me right before Christmas? I literally just read an article two hours ago saying there is another woman who is going to be a full and she, but she was not Yolanda. It was, it was like a, I forget what was, she runs a business and she's friends with one of them. I don't even remember. I'd say, Louis, that's like literally any cast remember that comes on. She runs a business and she knows some of the cast again. I think she's a friend of Lisa Rinnez. Well, this was supposed to be the big announcement week. It was supposed to come out Monday.

There was supposed to be a huge Beverly Hills announcement. And guess what? Nothing, okay, nothing. Well, the whole cast is coming back and Kathy's coming back as a friend of, and then they have this, then they have Sharia as a friend of and a new member. So it is actually a little bit of a bloated cast.

Maybe they're just, maybe they know that with the Fox Force 5, they're not gonna do any storyline on themselves, and they can't, maybe they can't take it. Well, I heard someone quit. Yeah, I heard someone quit, but I don't know. It's like someone got slapped, someone quit, someone, we'll have to deep dive on that,

on a take a seat in the future. But for now, here we are with, now we're on a boat with, um, what's her bones? Nicole. Anthony and Nicole. Yes, and their kids and their boat people cast what we learn. And then we see photos and lars is taking pictures of her assistant and she's like, uh, she's doing an only fans thing. And she's like,'s doing an only fans thing and she's like hey babe have a great weekend I'm thinking about you so whenever you want to call me back Chloe please just you have my

number. Does she realize that only fans is for your fans not for when you are a fan and you're leaving photos for your celebrity questions? She's like, that midler, thank you so much for cleaning up the freeways. I'm rubbing my feet for you, baby. I saw on Twitter today, by the way, I trended that that midler apologizes. I was like, I don't even know what this is about. I'm just not going down this path, but I love that there's an issue where that midler had to apologize for. Yeah, she said something like people in Virginia or dumb or something. She's like those illiterate, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Like she went off on, I guess Republicans I'm assuming because she's like super, you know, not Republican. But I saw that too. I read the, I'm a headwind reader, so I just read that. She's like, sorry, West Virginia. She really got into her big business role there. I mean, that's almost the exact storyline of big business. Yeah, I'd apologize in writing, but you probably can't read it. Oh, sorry, sorry. I apologize again. To the few people in West Virginia who could read this, I apologize. That's better. Is this how we, is this how we dress for West Virginia? You look like a club club. I just sick of having sex and recreational vehicles.

Okay, so yeah, Larza doing her only fans. I love that this is her storyline. And I love that she's so dedicated to this story of mine. Like, everyone else is like hanging out with their family. And Larza's like, yeah, Don Reckles, love your word. Please call me ID. I'm to my number. Mmm. Well, I like that everyone else actually has things

happening in their lives except for Larsa. And she's just here doing these videos. And she's like, she tells us, when I first heard of OnlyVans, I didn't think it was right for my brand. Like, what is your brand, Larsa? Your brand is literally Scotty Pippin. I think you should, if you're concerned about the Scotty Pippin brand, maybe Scotty would be concerned about this,

but yeah. I was considering candles until I heard of OnlyFans. So she's like, but then I saw a lot of celebrities are doing OnlyFans and then we see a picture of Black China making $20 million a month. Is that true? Somebody is making $20 million. I mean, I've never really resented my food, but because it's there. But right now I do. That's for damn sure. I mean, this is when I really start getting jealous of skinny people.

Well, this was the most amazing part. It says, Black China estimated $20 million a month. And then it shows Tyga estimated $7.69 million a month. It goes, RayJ, you just joined up $0 per month. I was like, wow, where did that? Someone on this show must have worked on his VH1 show, because that shade came out of nowhere. Yeah. Well, RayJ is the Kim Kardashian. Is he a villain in the Kim Kardashian world? I don't know I don't know because some might argue that it was the Ray J tape that kind of really propelled her to the next level beyond being Parasultans closet organizer, right? Yeah. Yeah, so I don't know villain or hero

Welcome to me. Yeah Yeah, yeah, so I don't know villain or hero. Welcome to Miami. So, so Larson Sainte of the Kardashians. Yeah, everyone signing up. So I was like, why not? Like I'm single.

And so the producer asks her, what's your thoughts? Oh, no, he's asking, they're asking the ladies what they think of her only fans. And Adriana's like, well, she's only half dressed anyway, so why not? And Lisa's like, I'm not gonna make, I'm not gonna take off my clothes for only fans. And I don't think she is either. So, you know, let her, let her go have fun with that. Yeah, I'm Mary.

Nobody wants to see my flat ass out there. Like, the lollipop really doesn't work without my- All right, well tell me when I can use it, because I've got this lollipop. It's going to be hilarious. She's trying very hard to be a gay icon, and she's just not quite there yet. Just really trying to force the issue. Yeah. Here comes one right now. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder a app. So Larissa goes, she goes,

I mean, only fans, it's kind of like my dating app right now. I mean, this is an easy way for me to get to know someone. I'm like, you know what's a good dating app? A dating app? A dating app is a good option for a dating app. Well, you don't get paid for that, you know? But like, how are you expecting to like, how are you expecting to have a good, like, find a good relationship like this? I mean, isn't this what we always say?

Like, the celebrities who just, you know, who have to buy their friends? This is essentially like buying your lovers, right? Or having them buy you. So, and I'm, I'm not saying she's a prostitute by any means, and I think prostitution should be legal. But I'm just saying, I think it's funny that she's confusing this for dating up. Well, I used to look at going to work as a dating app because, you know, like waiting tables, I never wanted to go, but I would always say, tonight, you might meet your husband, like that always got me to go. Because what better way to meet somebody than when you're getting paid to do it, you know, and you can walk off.

Yeah, but in your case, if you're like a waiter and then you meet your husband and they like put their number in like the checkbook, that's kind of like a meat cue. But I feel like Larsa Pippin, you know, receiving a request. I feel like that's like a meat man, you know? Yeah. How did you know that you were in love with Larsa? Well, she put her big toe in a frozen yogurt. God I've never been harder. Well, all right. You got to write your own vows

So she's like she tells us You know when I was married I was stuck in a box but now I'm a butterfly That's been let loose a butterfly that lived in a box a box butterfly that somehow did not suffocate to death And just when I was about to take my last breath, someone opened the shoe box, and I thought to myself, how did I get in the shoe box in the first place? I'm a butterfly, I should be in the natural world. That's who I am.

Mommy, look, it's a butterfly. Thump. Oh, it has to have to implant, is that? It's like the butterfly's back. Mom, the cocoon is still stuck to the butterfly. No, it's just the awesome plants. So Lars is like, people ask me like, what are you into? What are you looking for?

Would you date a truck driver? And I mean, like if he was a truck driver who is really good at his job, sure, you know, good enough to be extremely, extremely well, DeLarza. Yeah, an excellent, excellent track driver. And she goes, I never realized how many guys are interested in feet. They just want pictures of my feet. And so we now have our second Bravo foot fetish storyline happening, which is pretty surprising that we're on to.

But you know, that's what happens with Bravo, you know? Yeah. I think that her assistant is from a video game. I mean, yeah. She looks just completely, like, she looks like a doll. She looks like a human doll. Dance Dance Revolution. I feel like you can play her as your avatar. Yeah. And she's like, but you're amazing. And Lars is like, yeah, and people are so in the feet, like this guy wants like a picture of my feet. Like, I don't know, is he a king of a country? Is he a truck driver? Who knows? I love him just the same. Just, there's a guy who's a correctional officer in Minnesota

and he said that there was a prison fight and I was really worried for him. So I sent him a whole video and it's just like a video of her leg, like her foot, like rubbing up on her legs. That's all he wanted and it made him feel good. So why not? I just hope it gets him through that prison riot. I'm like, they're rioting because they want him

to get a better only fan to follow. They're like, if we have to look over your shoulder to see some ask and you'll at least subscribe to someone else You cheap bastard See I love that she makes herself like a mother Teresa. She's like yeah, I mean I'm just trying to help a poor corrections officer like she's just walking around you know helping the beauty Yeah, so Hey, paying for the help

I think my next video is gonna be me squishing grapes. Great, looking forward to that one. I'm sure she'll have to compete with Nicole Kidman first. So Lenny and Lisa date night, Yikes, Ouch. This leads me to the second part of my story. So glad I never found anybody when I was waiting tables because wow, this is one of those can't wait to die alone scenes. Yeah. Yeah. So they leniently used to go to a table and Larson's actually had another

table on a date with a friend and that friend does not want to be seen on camera with Larson Pippin. And who can play? It's probably a pay date. Like, what are you guys doing? Don't go just put her on camera. It's probably the guy from the Minnesota prison. So, um, so she's out there on a date and the producer's like, so how does it feel to be like,

yeah, I still got it. She's, I never lost it. Hmm. Take notes. Get that pad out. Ah. Cut to a Mari's Soul with notes in a pad. All right.

Is this funny? Is this funny? Doing it. She's really good. She's really good. Is this funny? I saw it on the UPS commercial once. I thought it was hilarious.

So Lisa and Lenny, they go say happy birthday and all that and then, or hello and all that. And then they go back to their own table and at least it's like happy birthday my sweet happy 56 year old wow and he's like it's not my 56 birthday fucking moron she's like oh my god you're like 55 Lenny whoa right 55 she forgot what number he was faking and so Lenny is like well I'll tell you one thing it doesn't get better every year. I can tell you that. It's all downhill.

He's like the opposite of the Trevor project, the Lenny project. It doesn't get better. No. And it seems like all signs point to he's speaking the truth. So she's like, well, can you believe we've been together for 14 years?

Wow, he goes, yeah. It's a long time to be with one person. Wow, I didn't think anyone other than me could put up with you. Just let me. Yeah, I mean, for us, and then she tells us, for us to be, it's this amazing place in our marriage. It took lots of ups and downs.

Have we ever seen it up? There's like literally never been it up. This has been a terrible marriage for as long as we've been watching you. Get out. Yeah, they have not been really any ups. And we see these flashbacks 2012 with them just fighting and wanting a child. And then she tells us that because we weren't succeeding at having a fam, this family we wanted, eventually we separated, and Lenny had this emotional affair that maybe last a couple of months, I mean, the reason I know nothing happened is because I have passwords

to his accounts, but will I ever really know? Like, the answer is, you will never really know, but yes, something probably did happen. Just accept it. Yeah, so I was reading about this on the Propho Real Housewives sub on Reddit, which I'd love to go to, so shout out to everyone over there. But I was reading about this,

and apparently this lady is a bad girls club, cast member. Oh dear. And she, the gossip is that she was stalking them and harassing them and stuff when she was with Lenny. And it's crazy. This is all crazy. But I like how she's phrasing it. She's like, well, it's just an emotional affair. You know, okay. So I'm hoping we get into that later in the season. So she's like, wow Lenny, I'm so glad that we still have the spark.

He's like, God, the only way we would have a spark if I'd covered you in gasoline first and I whipped up my lighter. All right. She says, you do have the spark, right? And he's like just slicing and steak. He's like, yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah. Yeah, I've got a parking pass.

No, spark, spark, not a park. Yeah, no, it's fine. We can go to the park afterwards. Spark! Oh my God, can't you just eat with a fucking fork like a normal person? Why does everything have to be a spoon mixed with a fork? No, not a sport, a spark, my knee.

He's like, yes, yes. Uh, and he's like gritting his teeth and turning bright red. He is not happy and he is not full of spark whatsoever, but she tells us, you know, I forgive. I don't forget, but I forgive. And now here we are, living my best life with the man of my dreams, with my two beautiful children. And she does a little mic drop thing. Bye, bye.

I'm like, okay, you guys are headed for divorce, sorry. Yeah. And you don't forget. Lisa, you don't even know how to go through doors. Like, the last episode was Lisa trying to figure out how to go into a door and then what was her, yeah, twice. It wasn't to her, but she can forget the doorbell. Yeah.

So, yeah, that's not looking good. If she tells us they're gonna be renewing their vows I mean that's it's over. So now we go to my new favorite cast member, Gurdie, who's Gritifying at home and she's cooking breakfast. Oh my god. I'm cooking breakfast. You always make me look so bad when I'm cooking breakfast. Oh my god Oh my god. Oh my god. Let me talk about wedding planning. Okay wedding planning is when you have a wedding and you have to plan lots of different things So I guess that are gonna come and when the guests come they have to sit places when you planning. Or wedding planning is when you have a wedding and you have to plan lots of different things. So guests are gonna come. And when the guests come, they have to sit places. And when you sit place, you need to plan with them. They're gonna come.

So you have to plan lots of things. You have to have lots of questionnaires. You have to have lots of questions and answers. Lots of places and organizations and things to do. Gritified. So her husband is there. And officers really do attract because he's just silent. I don't even know if he can talk.

Okay, he's just, he walks in and she's like, oh wow, well, you know, we work different schedules and he works 24 and then he's off 48 hours. You know, it's a rotating, it's rotating. And then we met in high school and every time I said hi, he would never say anything back. He's so quiet. So one time I just stopped him and I said, Hey, this is what humans do. They say hi back. And he hugged me, girdified, girdified that man right then and there. I also like that she was, she's like, she's like, she's cooking bacon or something and she like sets a timer for a minute.

I know you hate it when I cook, when I set a timer for a minute and I love, I've never heard of someone getting mad about that because I often set like one minute timers and I love that this guy doesn't speak but he just slowly fills with rage every time he sees one minute on a timer.

Why the... She's sad. Time at her one minute. So she talks about her kids and, you know, she never stops to smell the roses while she's pretending that she knows how to cook bacon, which she obviously never does. You know, she's doing that. Look, I'm a mother too. Like, you don't have to pretend with this.

Okay. None of this audience needs to believe that you know how to cook bacon. We're all fine with it. Yeah, and she was supposed to go to NYU, but she gave up NYU to like go to a local college to be around this guy. And like, he seems really nice and I love her. But girl, why are you giving up NYU?

This is like, God of what? Why do we always have to hear about this? Like when Lauren Conrad didn't go to Paris and why you this is like God of what why does this why do we always have to hear about this is like when Lauren Conrad didn't go to didn't go to Paris because she needed to stay back in LA for Jason that's just not right. No I think it's okay because listen as a very loud person who never shuts the fuck up it's very difficult to find a silent person is okay with that. Okay I think that maybe she just found someone who never spoke and She was like, girdified. You're using.

I have to stay where I can girdify. So they have two kids, Miles and Liam, who are really cute. And she's like, no, we're in a teenager right now. It's in fun, okay? It's in fun. Rasa, did you have the conversation? Did you have the conversation? No, not about the timers.

Okay, use your eyes. Use your eyes. I know you don't want to talk. Okay, did you have the conversation? Rasa, Rasa, did you get to fry them? Did you go to fry our children? So they come in. One of the kids obviously hates us. He does not want to be on TV. He's so furious that he has to shoot the scene. He's like the Lenny of Children. Basically, he's like so she tells us that her relationship is good cop bad cop because they're obsessed with the husband

Because they play all the same video games and they watch Star Wars and they hate her and then it comes to the kid who's just like Well those kids are gonna be like do you know what it's like? To grow up with a mother who just shows up randomly at school with cupcakes. He goes good to find who just shows up randomly at school with cupcakes and goes, GUNNIFIED! It's terrible. She brought a vision board to Sointel, okay? So she's basically, she's like, I am finally able to admit that I am a workaholic.

And I am going to show a venue to Alexia for the wedding, which is funny because you'd have a venue magazine, but that was anti-gratified, it went away. So anyway, people, you didn't need to bake it. You did not need to bake it, it's a gratified bacon, why are you not eating the bacon? She's like, it's because I made it, and it's not daddy, so absolutely gratified.

And the kisses, like, hey, you die. So then we go to Adriana, who's with Julia, and Julia's driving what we later come to suspect is a pink splash car, because Martinez artwork, which we're about to learn, is covering tennis balls and paint, and it's splashing things with them. And that's what the car looks like. It looks like Martina just got mad one day, like like I asked you to bring me coffee Is it possible that that vehicle has been neverotel over died? Nevrotel I don't know it looked like she just drove through a paintball Stadium or something like that, but either way. I was I was like you know Julia loves being the one driving it paint splashed car through Miami. You know, that's definitely her thing.

Also, Adriana, listen, I'm glad to see Adriana doing well, okay? But last time we saw Adriana, she was four hours late to her own wedding and about to live on a boat that was being like flipped, re-bottled from the ground up. And now she's driving a Rolls Royce. Did I get that right? Did my eyes hear that right? She must have sold a lot of paintings. Okay, did she find like a glimpse or something?

What is happening? So they're at this public storage, you know? And because one always must drive your Rolls Royce to a public storage facility. And they're looking for a locker because that's where Martinez artwork is. That's what we find out. And Julia says, if you want to know that Martina is the most talented tennis player that they've ever lived, but what they don't know is that Martina is the most talented

artist. She creates canvas with tennis balls. Okay. She throws with her hands, and her famous tennis, whatever you say. I don't know how you even say, how you say this tennis thing. I'm like, girl, you were a marriage and I'm Martin and I've brought to love and you still don't know how to say tennis, right? What do you call hit tennis? So, and Adrian was like, we'll do a series of it because I've been an art dealer for more than a decade now.

I haven't told him. I know good art when I see it and I see the originality and the power in her pieces. I want to host a private show for her because she is painting and the world needs to know. I really need to see a Martina Nevratilova painting session. Like I need to see Martina with paint covered tennis balls, just throwing them at a canvas with all her rage. It's like the set of Dexter. Every time you go into Martina's art space. Adriana is like spinning around and laughing with Julia

and like looking right into the camera. I love the Adriana, I love so much, you know. And she's like, I'm getting these. She lets it down for a moment. So they sit down and start talking about how long they've known each other. It's like been almost a decade, okay. And Julia's like, I remember when I met you, you were hat. So I named you Snow White. La blanche neige. And Adriana's like, oh yes, my relationship with Julia is pretty complex. Basically, she's married to a famous person and I just want to be in that.

So there's an element of Genesecloix, which is French for want to be around famous people. And I can't put a finger on it. People say it's platonic, but I can't name it. So they're like flirting. You know, I mean, these two are definitely, yeah, they definitely have some weird, flirty thing going on. And I just put this is going to end Julia's marriage. Have fun. Have fun being on TV. Flirting. So openly with Adriana. Martina's going to love this. She is going to love it. I'm just waiting for that moment when Adriana's walking her dog late at night down the street. And a car pulls up and Martina just starts throwing paintballs at her.

You took my wife! I never lose! So Alexia and Todd go out to eat for date by and and she's like, oh look at that look above your head There's a saint above your head look at that Santos and he's like, oh wow look at that. I can't curse it didn't fucking me Damn it. I just did it did my god damn it Jesus Christ So Tad Tom is Napoleon as originally from Staten Island. They met five years ago Alexia says so I saw him so hard walking by. And I was like, oh, Italiano, you know? So I was like, oh, well, you know, Peter,

look at that. It's like Italiano, man, you know what I'm saying? And then we learn that he does commercial real estate because, you know, in Miami, either everyone's a reotor or an escort or both, or maybe even Herman's lover. And so he's only a reotor, thankfully. And he's younger. She talks about him like he's so young. I'm so he's only a realtor, thankfully. And he's younger.

She talks about him like he's so young. I'm like, this is a silver fox, but he's only six years younger. And so they order and she's like, oh my god, I'm so stressed out. What, you know, Peter, this Peter. And then, you know, bring a wedding, planning a bride, having wedding brides,

you know, so much. And he's like, you know, he's what you do. He got the cord has, you sign a piece of paper. It's done. Like, why do we need all this? She's like, I did that 30 years ago. And this thing is huge wedding at church. Yeah, you know what?

When I was younger, my mother would tell me, if you had Marity Gringo, you would still be married. But because they are like the best husbands, like keeping guys or good lovers or whatever, but they like suckers husband. But like Gringo, you would still be married, because they are the best husbands, like keeping guys with lovers or whatever, but they suck as husband, but Gringo, terrible, terrible lover, it's like why not just have sex with Lasagna Nuru, but still, like good husband.

Yeah, apparently Alexia does not watch Bravo, because that's just false. Yeah, I don't know if that theory tracks. So, Tops, I'm like, are you going to have a're gonna have a main course and say no, you're my main course And he's like I'll I need some protein then The way it was like I quit So then Well, it's just like well, it's obvious that Todd is like so different from like all my other men and relationships

And like a well-deen up eater and I feel like my friends in like the beginning where like let's see how long this is gonna last but like as I've got to know him they're like oh I get it okay and then they close up on the huge diamond on her finger they're like oh yeah then they get to know me close up of giant ring and they get it so Lisa is why is Lisa why don't I have Lisa well because now're all sort of like, they're all kind of speaking about Todd. They're talking about how wonderful Todd is, you know, which means that either they're setting up Peter to be awful or they're setting up Todd for a fall, I'm assuming Peter. So Lisa says, the real Alexia is coming through.

She's able to be herself, which is amazing. That's, and that's why she and Todd are so great together. And Adraana says they're Ken and Barbie and Mary soul is like, well, she said, you know, she just looks so in love with him. I'm like, so happy for her. So why are you juggling dildos right now? Yeah. The kids love me. Well, it's not working with him in Peter though, because Peter went to work for him and it didn't work out. And there was hysteria. There was hysteria that happened. So right now, my family we used to do the Alexia news network? But this count doesn't update on the Alexia news. What was even the context of that joke when

we used to do it? Because she always talked about Peter. It was like, oh, you know, Peter. Like every time they cut to Alexia, she's like, oh, well, you know, Peter, Peter's doing so well. Everybody wants to be around Peter all the time because he's so successful, you know? He's a rap star. And so, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do to do the, she, Alexia News Network is still in full effect. Like this entire episode was actually just like the special 24 hour cable news, Alexia News Network version, right? Cause every scene was like, oh well, you know, Peter,

like another thing that happened the other day is that Peter got a vacuum and he brought to Paris but then he lost the vacuum and they don't have good, they don't have good vacuum, so we had to come back. Oh well, you know, right, because she's always trying to sell that, her, that Peter's such a good kid, you know,

and he would do all this terrible stuff. It's like, oh well, you know good kid, you know, and he would do all this terrible stuff. It's like, oh, well, you know, Peter, you know, the tabloids, they're saying that Peter was paying homeless people to beat each other up, but, you know, here's the important thing, Peter really learned good camera work with that, you know? Peter, every filmmaker wants to work with Peter now. You know what?

Well, you know, Peter, he did pay like, homersmen to break each other up, but like, and like, that's not good, but like, oh, well, you know, Peter, what's, and like, that's not good, but like, well, you know, Peter, what's good about it is that he's like, learning business, you know? Yeah, you know, I choose to like, look at Peter not hurting homeless people,

it's just that Peter is being home more, you know? Like, he's not homeless, he's home more. So now we go to speaking of which, speaking of more, we now go to Nicole and uh, Anthony and he's like, so uh, tomorrow I'm going to look at a 1921 Bugatti type 40, which I'm thinking about buying because my life is actually empty and I cannot feel the void no matter how hard I try. What about you, honey? Yeah, this guy, this is why I don't trust this guy because he's already committing way too hard to like, I don't got to marry her.

I don't got to do anything. Look, I'm buying a 1921 Bugatti and I don't have to ask anybody about it. Yeah! Yeah, if you're wearing that much gingham and you're trying to get a Bugatti, you're going through a midlife crisis, okay? Like I do not trust this man.

Yeah, Sunacles telling us that they met in Las Vegas of all places, right? Like no, of course she met him in Las Vegas. I mean that makes more sense than anything you've said so far actually. Yeah, I mean it'd be one thing if it was like, well, we met in Luxembourg of all places, but Las Vegas, I feel like the Miami to Las Vegas pipeline

is pretty strong. Yeah, just where everybody wants to meet their future partner, the Crab Stable. So she was like, yeah, and I just thought he was like this typical flashy attorney trying to attract a young girl, but like he has a lot of layers. I love when people do that. I thought he was like this disgust, cheesy, ridiculous animal. And like it was so obvious, he was just a perv and just trying to flaunt his wealth and influence just to get his rocks off.

But then it turns out he's really wonderful. I'm like, okay, so you saw what his entire game plan was and you're like, cool, I'm gonna go with it anyway. Until I can finally see something good about this person. Exactly. So she's like, well, listen, I've been wanting you to taste Danny's food, so I'm gonna throw throw a party. You know, the sushi chef, Danny, and he's like, Oh, God, where are you going to throw it? Here at the house,

we can invite Alexia. She can include the husbands. You know, you like the husbands. And she goes Anthony, she goes, sweet heart. You know, and then like Gurdys husband, sweet heart. And you know, like I just was thinking about hiring a caterer. I'm gonna have to assume sweetheart. Hehehehehehehe. So she's like, oh, but I have to warn you, people are gonna be saying, when are you gonna get married?

When are you gonna get married? He's like, no one's asked that in the history of our relationship. Why would they start now? What sort of sweetheart would ask that question? And he's like, well, Oprah and Stem and have been doing it since forever. And they seem fine. He goes, so should I introduce you as my boo thing?

Is that what I should do? I don't get it. She just says, I just say you're my attorney. So then we go to a church and they're playing church music. I mean, it's really on theme So Gurdys there with her assistant Garrett to I think we're gonna love like Gary's cracking me up so far So she's like up there to a secret this is where I got married guard What do you think of that this church has been gratified holy church of growth? Father's done and Gurdys spears all right the holy Gurdys

Alright, the Holy Gritty. So, um, Marisol's like, oh my God, I can't believe we're at the Spanish monastery. I have a lot of gay friends and everyone knows the forest nearby is a gay cruising spot. Isn't that wild? Aren't I wild? That's what I've been told by gay people who I know and people just kind of hook up in a forest That's what cruising man having sex with men wild outrageous Mmm and Lexi's like, uh, is this a place of worshiping? And they're like

So they go in laughing and Gertie's like, Oh, guys, let me in on the secret. I got married here. And Gert is just like, well, thanks. Just blew that fucking secret. Glad I had that secret for about five seconds. Thanks, Gertie. So the big issue here, they go with the meat, they meet Gert

and he does, I don't know how you categorize this. It's like super friendly gay greeting where he does, I don't know how you categorize this, it's like super friendly gay greeting where he goes, Hi, how are you? It's like this. Hi, how many in your party? Yeah, his words go down in a water slide. How are you? And Alexis is like, well, you know,

you gave me that email of those questions and I didn't want to go through all that. So I didn't do it. And she's like, after, you know, you gave me that email of those questions and I didn't want to go through all that So I didn't do it. And she's like, um, after you've hired GERDI, you get a questionnaire from GERDI Why? Because I'm not in your head. How many bright maids are you Muslim? Do you like macaron? Are macarona bitch Jamaican? Yes, they are. Why are there two sides to the street? Like why? You know The things we have to know. You know, this is how I plan a ceremony with content properly, okay? RetroGlam, clean, do you want traditional, rustic, rose gold?

I know what rose gold is, do you want cinematography, do you want choreography, do you want the floor, do you want the ceiling, like photo ops, do you know what a photo is, do you know what an op is? Are we doing that first look, a second look, a third look? Do you know what a look is? Are you wearing clothing? I need to know these things, okay? In order for you to be gratified, I have to be gratified as well.

Yeah, I don't like this. I mean, if I am hiring somebody to do something, just show up and have it then. I want to just show up to the wedding and be like, wow, this is great. I mean, like, ask me what colors I like and what flavor cake I like. Other than that, no, nothing. You do it. Yeah. Alexi did the right thing. She just is like, I'm going to see you. I'm going to tell you and you're going to write it down. Yes. So so she's like well, I feel that what's important So the things the other things are not applicable to me and she's like, okay, well are your kids in the wedding? She's like, well Peter walked me down the aisle, you know, but this time we haven't had that conversation yet Oh, well, you know, this is just just in the likes of a news network. Okay, well, you know what it's so funny

because like when I got married to Herman, oh well you know Herman, so like Peter and Frankie, they walked me down the aisle and it was so wonderful. And now we walked down all the time, but now Peter doesn't want to walk me down anymore. So now we just like an aisle problem. And they're just kind of looking at her and she goes, well you know, that can be that from boys than girls.

Oh, okay, so this is Todd's fault. So Peter came in, worked for Todd, was doing Coke or something on the job. You know, or just like fucked up or said fuck you to a client or something, or didn't show up to show wings or something. And Todd came down on him and he's like, fuck you man. It's like that's clearly the second coming

of Simon and Ryan from OC, right? So Alexia wants Peter to walk down the aisle, but we're not sure if that's really going to happen because Peter may not approve. So now they go further into this space and to look at like a potential area to dance, but there's all these like, St. St. statues there on the side, all these icons, and Marissa was like, what the fuck am I right? Like, oh, a gait lingo here, gait slang here, right? Gait slang.

She's like, this is where we're dancing, Yas queen, I mean. And Alexis is like, well, I like to dance. So, you know, I'm Cuban. So I like dancing salsa and Kerkos, okay. You know, I'm Cuban, so I like dancing salsa and Kerkas, oh, K. Hey. So, I just better like to see this.

She's like, you know, I can't, I don't know. No, I want to get to school, and that would be his respect for, I, oh, well, you know, Peter, no, no, no. Yeah. And so they're not gonna lock that venue in. So then we go to Versailles Cuban cuisine. Yeah.

And we are, now we are finally getting Peter's debut on this season. So Alex is there at the super famous restaurant and Peter shows up in some sort of sports car, which I'm not sure how he's paying for it, but I just have to say whoever is paying for it, if they're having a wedding, you should probably be there, right? Yeah, because it's not him. Well, I mean, his dad was a Coke dealer. I'm sure he's I'm sure he's fine for a while. He's fine for a while. So then Alexi is like, oh my god, we haven't been here in so long. Guess what? Oh, well, you know, Peter, the restaurant is back to sever. I'll tell you that. We'll be back in two.

Hello, welcome to Alexia News Network. and now it's time for a food column. You know what we love here at Versailles? Everything. Okay, so we'll have to procat sampler, because already know Peter, he loves croquettes. Okay, this has been a Lexi extravera for the Lexian News Network food edition. Thank you. So he's just looking at her like he's such a little shit at this kid. So she's like, well, you know, I can't order a lot because I'm wearing a wedding dress and he's just like Giving all these lux and she's like, um, but you look good. I miss you because you live so far. He's like, um, I love downtown And she's like, so you like living downtown because he's good. She's like, okay, so You know, well, you know, it's like... Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,. Yeah, you know, I feel like some people when they haven't had much luck in relationships, they like to type both things together. Like, maybe I'm not lucky, or maybe I'm not in relationships, or maybe I'm not lucky

in relationships, or maybe ships are good to have relations if you're lucky. Do you know what I mean? Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do with her. I love the way she just she just like sort of just gave some like top level highlights about Peter's year, which I'm like, hello, are we going to discuss this? You got married, he went to Paris and now he's back and in the process of divorce. There are all these things about Peter that we definitely need like the gaps filled in about. Right. And she makes it all like, Peter is someone else's fault, you know? Like, he just doesn't have much luck in relationships, so that must be why he, you know,

doesn't do well in jobs with his new stepdad because he's just not lucky. And so he feels like he's just not lucky in general because of for the, okay, like, see, Jesus, stop making excuses for this little fucker. Cut him out and cut him off. We'll cut him off first, then cut him out. She also talks about him, like these things that are happening in Peter's life, she kind of talks about them as if someone got snowed in.

It's like, oh well, you know, I tried to go visit, like my friend, but it was like snowing really hard and so the roads were closed, so I had to turn around and go back. Like that is like the vibe of these stories. Oh, well, you know, Peter, he did get married and he moved to Paris, but then he didn't know his back and now he's going to divorce.

And now he's not talking to, he was working for Todd, but now they're not working together because there was something happened, and now they're not. So that's it. This is not just driving down the street during a storm. Right. Leave out the, I want wanna know what happened in Paris. I wanna know every single thing.

Yes. So, a person he got married to in Paris. Please just send us some email. We'd love to hear from you. Tell us Paris person with bad judgment. So Peter goes, so. So. Peter goes, so what about your celebration?

Cause he talks really slowly now. While he always did kind of talk slowly, Peter goes, so what about your celebration? Cause he talks really slowly now. Well, he always did kind of talk slowly, but now it's even slower than before. And he's doing the thing where he's just shaking his head really hard. It's like a tick where he's shaking his head back and forth. This kid's got a lot of troubles. So he's like, what about the celebration?

And she's like, oh, do you mean my wedding? It's like the first time he's even hinted at being nice to her. You know, he's like, yeah, that. Are you guys doing it in Miami? I mean, like, and she goes, oh, maybe he's thinking that for me. Like, why do it again? You know, because like, why would you do it? Like maybe he's trying to be nice to me.

No, he's not being nice to you. He's like, let's just get this conversation over with. So he's like, oh, well, you can invite my uncle to walk you down. Or Frankie, you could do that. He says, well, you know what, you know what? I would like to have Frankie and you walking me both down the aisle.

You know, and I know you're in an uncomfortable position and we already know what he said. It was just a moment of insanity that you caused, you know, that's it. But like, you know, like I haven't talked to anyone about this situation, and it was like the worst five minutes of my life, and she was, I was so nervous, and I was praying, and it was, it was a moment of desperation, but I won't tell you what it was. Yeah, I'm guessing we'll find out later, but you know, this kid just never showed up for work. Like, you know it, you just fucking know it. So she's like, you have to move Peter.

You have to move on for all of us. You know, you don't have to be best friends, but we would like it to be civil. And he's just like, so when's the date? Well, maybe August 8th. Oh my God, right? Before my birthday, well then I might not be here then. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I'm like talking about Tokyo and like just because you decided to dive into this world of being married and having a new family and step to others.

And like, all that doesn't mean I have to be okay with it and participate in all this bullshit. I was like, yes, you do, sir. You do. You absolutely have to because that car did not come from your birthday party. That's not happening in my tummy and Tokyo, okay? You have to because that car did not come from your birthday party. That's not happening in my army in Tokyo. Okay. You have to be there absolutely. And she's like, but at the end of the day, you'll get nothing for nothing. I love late Miss Arap.

So at the end of the day, you know, I just want to know that I have your blessing and you're by my side, Peter. And he goes, oh, no, I have your blessing like oh my god She goes oh I'm so caught between my these two men in my life the two most important men in my life Like you're not caught between the two men, okay? Your son is like a spoiled brat dipshit. Okay, there's nothing to be caught with there just Just just get rid of him get rid of him cut him off. He sucks. He does suck. And this is your fault for being like this Alexia, you know, this is what this is how people like this grow, you know, it's like you're you're the soil It's not like you're responsible for everything your kid does, but you're like nurturing this by putting up with this shit

This is ridiculous and next time he does something is your fault. There I said it Fuck this kid. That was my final. This is ridiculous. And next time he does something, it's your fault. There I said it. Fuck this kid. That was my final note on that. Fucking thank you. Okay, so now we see Nicole and Glam and she says, I'm a huge foodie and Anthony's a huge foodie. So sushi, sake, those are things that are dear to us. I'm like, okay, congratulations.

You've had Japanese food. Yeah, all that not cooking. I love when people are like, I'm a foodie. I love when things aren't cooked. She's also, I think, missed on a couple of shots because her lower mouth is like kind of not. Did you notice that one of her lips is kind of not moving on one side of it? So Anthony's like, wow, this looks exciting. I mean, are we happy with the location of this table? She's like, I mean, yeah, we'll move it. I mean, there's gonna be a lady

culturally appropriating on top of it. So I just wanna make sure we get it in the right place. If we're gonna be culturally appropriating someone, then we better do it with a table also. So, yeah, they're setting up this like table to serve the champagne and the sushi off of and it's attached to a lady who is dressed in like a kimono and it's like a whole thing. It's a whole visual. Yeah.

So she's like, oh my god, it's so pretty, right? Yeah, it's just the table's kind of turning and this lady's just sitting in the center of it. Like, oh god. And she probably made 400 bucks from that too. I, I, it's funny. 10 years ago, I graduated from Tish. Apparently I took some lady named Gurdie's spot and I thought, oh great, I'll be in spring awakening.

I'll, I'll be in, I'll be in anything really. And now here I am, one woman show called Holden Upsushi. So people start arriving, Julia comes in and Kiki comes and everybody's like, oh my god, beautiful house, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, starts meeting each other and ends me like, wow, I'm really short and I'm sorry. I did not know I was gonna be a amongst Amazon women today. Thank, that feels great. That also explains the Bugatti and everything. He's got that short thing going on.

Also, this is Julia, Julia walks in and this was another moment when I started to pick up on some like Caroline Fleming pretentiousness. She goes, she sees the food, she goes, oh, I am such a Japanese junkie. I was like, okay, okay, lady of the world. And now how do you think Japanese junkies feel about that?

Someone's like in some alley somewhere like, hey, that's not cool. It's like an alley just like shooting up, but also watching peacock. Yeah, but it's like one of those like performative, like I know culture things, which of course up in the guilty of doing like a thousand times in my life. Mm-hmm.

Oh, so Larsa comes and she's like, oh my God, that's scary. There's a lady on the table. I'm like, you just had some guy jerk off all over his phone because you showed your big tell, okay? Yeah, she's like Nicole has a gorgeous house. I'm obsessed with her and Anthony. I'm really into sushi But I'm not really into having a woman wearing a table So then let's see Lisa comes in and basically everybody's showing up. Okay. So Lisa by the way, Lisa's wearing just like a patterned sort of little dress. And she goes, yeah, I was really trying to go for like an Asian-ish exotic look. I'm like, okay,

let's let's just we just not have culturally themed shows, parties on Bravo anymore because it always has these moments. Yes, I know I get nervous whenever they do this on Bravo. I guess that's right. That's brace ourselves. Yes. So then we hear like a fate knocking down the hall. Someone's locked in the bathroom.

And so Marisol's like, wait a second. I've been standing here for a full minute without a prop or somebody to talk to. Oh my god. where's Alexia? And then she realizes, she's like, well no, she wants to go to the bathroom and she's like, where's the bathroom? And she's like, wait, there's someone stuck in here because Alexia's like, oh no, Peter, oh no, Peter locked me in here, Peter, Peter, Peter. Okay, this is a, this is a, this is a, this is tada tada tada. This is Breaking News from the Alexa News Network.

Our news offices have been locked in. Okay, this is breaking news. This is news as it's happening. We are locked into the news. Oh, oh, I guess I just have to pull the door instead of push the door. Sorry. Yeah.

Because Nicole comes over and it opens very easily. Like, it's a problem with the door. It's a pole. It might not be up to code, but it's a pull Did you also notice that every time they the cameras Train themselves on that sort of like bathroom area There was like a bathroom bathroom to the side and there was sort of a little hallway and there was this big piece of art It was just like a giant black void. Did you notice that? I didn't. Well, that's something to look at for next time.

It was just like a big black campus. It was like kind of like a black campus with some stuff on the bottom, but I just had this. It just looked, it's set at tone, you know? So Mary so I was like, I'm so sorry. I went crazy on that norm. My mother was just like, oh, well, I'll tell you, you know, at the party, like you really have a technique.

I mean, you throw those one liners and you just blow up a whole party. And she's like, oh my God, I don't do that, but whatever, maybe I do, whatever. And she's like, but you talked everything out with Kiki, right? No, Alexi is, no, we haven't. Ii is no, we haven't I mean no she hasn't No, she hasn't I'm like are we really gonna have an apology seeing over this stupid good fight that happened for like two seconds Amongst friends ups. Yeah, so

Marisol is she's like she pulls Kiki aside because Kiki's like hello And so Marisol's like, oh well, I don't wanna speak behind your back because I'm outrageous like that, right, Gaze? So let's just, I wanna pull you to the side I just wanna talk, listen. Sometimes I just say shit because I'm unpredictable and wild. I'm like I some mathologians.

And I wasn't coming from a mean place, just a boring place. And because you said something I didn't like, doesn't mean I don't like you because of what you said and there's a big difference. I don't like you not because of what you said is because of who you are. Does that make sense? She's like, well, I really want to apologize for whatever I said that night because I just you know, I come from this place where I'm really struggling with things right now and

I mean, I literally just broke off my engagement. She's like, oh my god, if you're going through hard stuff, I can help you. Go get a glass, have them fill it with ice and vodka and bring it back to me. You are going to feel so much better. Poor Kiki, she really was leaping at that ring. She was like, she was the, what do they call it, the brass ring or whatever. She's like, okay, here's my moment to be a real housewife. I just called off my engagement. I'm going through so much right now. I can't help but make silly comments about go-totters.

Oh, God, wouldn't that be a wonderful cast member on a P-Cop television show? Fascinating. Have I showed you my big tall coffee cup that's covered in diamonds? It's hilarious. Really? Oh, is's from Zaz, and I saw that. So yeah, she tried again. This is two episodes.

This poor Kiki has been trying, and nobody's just letting her do it. Oh, this poor, stunningly gorgeous woman. So she's like, you know what, to hear you say that you want to listen to me. That means the world to me. Did we get that? We got that on camera? I feel like I really amode it hard. You like that? It's good. Okay. So then Lisa's like, oh my god Nicole, you're a doctor and that's why I respect you so much because I'm married to a doctor. So I understand how hard you work. Okay. Okay.. Alright. Great. I watched your once.

So Nicole is like, you know, you would never know the depth that lies in Lisa just by perusing her social media. I mean, she's super sweet. She's an awesome mom. I mean, we have some, we've had some play dates and I really enjoy our company. I guess what I'm trying to say is that underneath all that crazy plastic surgery and those ridiculous photos, it's just more of that basically, yeah. Look it's just all on how you look at it.

I mean, yes, is she plastic? Yes, is she fake? Yes, but without plastic, how would we carry water in our purse? You know what I'm saying? So I like her. So then Anthony is talking to Alexia and he's like, so how's the wedding planning going? Do you need me help or anything? And she's like, well, how about I plan your wedding?

He's like, oh God, I've literally never been asked about this in my entire relationship. So was that you say I can't hear you all the way down there. So he's like, well, it's definitely on my list to do. I mean, Nicole for all intense purposes in my life, I mean, we just have to, we have, as soon as we formalize it in the eyes of gods and friends, I mean, they'll be different.

I don't know what's going on. And they're like, well, but they didn't be official. She's like, well, it's already official. And we've been together for five years, got a kid, got a Bugatti coming on be official. She's like, well, it's already official. And we've been together for five years, got a kid, got a Bugatti coming on the way. We're really so excited for that addition into the family, you know, what else do we need?

She's like, well, I feel deep inside of a woman, every woman wants to get married. So I don't really buy this whole relationship. Every woman wants to get married three times. A magic number, Everyone's dream. I mean, at this point, Alexia's essentially just living out Muriel's wedding, right? Like, isn't she just living that movie?

I forget what happened in that one. I just remember, how Muriel you're awful. Oh, well, Alexia, you're awful, you know? That's what I say to my self-immure. It's Mary so. I don't like seeing you're awful. No, because, you know, that's what I say to my friend, it's Mary so I'm relaxing here. Awful. No, because you know, Muriel, she's like out to meet a man.

She winds up with a gay guy, you know, there's there's there's tragedy along the way drama. She's really mean to her mom. I'll never forget that about that. Maybe I was like, geez. That mom's going back yard. I'm so, they're having some sushi or rolling some sushi anyway. And Mary so it's like, oh my God, I'm so excited to wedding dress shop with you, but like

I know how stressed you are. And she goes, oh my God, turt turt turt, Alexia news network. You know, I have so much going on, like I have my business and turt turt, well, you know Peter. Okay, it's transition to all ready. And Frankie, you know, it have so much going on like I have my business and Well, you know Peter. Okay. It's the transition already and Frankie. You know, it's a lot right now when I think I have my life Okay, something happens. So unfortunately a couple of months ago Peter comes over Is that the end of the story that Peter Kimofer was very unfortunate that he came over? No, no, no, no, no, no This is the nightly news. This is like an hour of me just talking to the camera. This is like date line, date line, Alexia, okay?

So, you know, Peter comes over and you know, he likes to smoke a little bit and Frankie likes to smoke and it's legal, so it's fine, you know, and they're not doing it up there, no, so I say good. So, they come upstairs and we're sitting on the dining room table and all of the sudden, toot toot toot toot now weather, let's go to weather. Let's go.

Okay, we're back. It's raining outside. It's weather is hazy because Peter's been smoking. A lot of haze in the living room. And you know, like they say that like, you know, like marijuana is like good for some brain injuries and like obviously epileptic and things like that. And they have medical license, you know.

So like we see them, we see them downstairs, they're smoking, you know, it's hazy, hazy weather. Okay, now time for the sports. So, you know, about what's wrong? We're back. Okay, so then they come up for dinner and then Frankie, you know, he's on his phone and he like looked at me and he looked at the situation and then boom, he dropped his head. He almost died. He almost died right there at the table. I couldn't. boom, he dropped his head, he almost died. He almost died right there at the table. I couldn't. Peter literally had to bring him back to life and to call 911.

And so then Peter was like on the phone and he overlooked the whole situation. And like Frankie smoked too much and his blood pressure dropped and you know, we'll have more updates at 11 o'clock. So even in this story, where her son who's already got major problems from an accident, like major brain injury, okay?

Your other son gives him weed that almost kills him, and even in this story, you're like, and then Peter brought him back to life. Like you've made Peter the hero of this story, I can't, it's infuriating. Congratulations, Peter, did the most basic thing one can do in an emergency unless you're a character. Bradshaw, he called 911. Oh my god. I mean, this show, in the words of the great Bernie Mac, the great late Bernie Mac, America,

beat your children. Okay? And then Marisol, of course, makes a bad heart. She goes, I can't believe I didn't even know this. I was like, yes, Marysol, because you are the biggest gossip in Miami. Yeah, and so it ends with Alexi saying, and then Dodd comes out and he says some very bad things. They're like to who?

To Peter. But that concludes our Nightly News Network. The Alexi News Network broadcast for tonight, tomorrow, Junein, to find out what Todd said to Peter. I want said to Peter. Or what to Peter. And stay tuned because it's a rerun of shares, which I really don't get. But, you know what?

To each their own. I do like via Perlman though, you know? So, that's it? That's my only episode. That's it. That's the episode. So good, like ridiculously good. I hope everyone's if you don't watch it consider watching it Um, if you have if you have peacock obviously we never want to make people Download a whole service if it's like outside their budget

But if it is something that works for you highly recommend it especially and you should also check out girl strip If you're just downloading peacock now now, because that was absolutely amazing. Peacock, coming in strong with the Ancillary Bravo content. Yeah, they really are. And you know, it's a good Christmas thing. If you just need something to binge, like pay the six bucks, cheaper than a movie, and just watch all of Girl's Trip.

Yeah, and I actually also, as long as we're doing our completely uncommissioned Peacock commercial, we are next week recapping a holiday movie that was on peacock, the Real Housewives of the North Pole that we did with Brian Moilin, and that's gonna be up next week, and that's a terrible movie, but worth watching so you can listen to our discussion of it. Yeah, well everybody, thank you so much for being here. We appreciate it. We will be back tomorrow with some Real Housewives of Orange County of Guy. Thanks so much for listening.

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