Watch What Crappens - RHOM: Russian to Judgment

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

The Key West trip on Real Housewives of Miami gets derailed by Lenny's grossness and Alexia's generalizations about Russian women. But don't worry, there's a shaman to save everything!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the one and only Mr. Ronny Karam.

Hi Ronny, how are you? Well, hello, Benoony. How's it going, sweet guy? It's great. Happy new year. Happy new year. Welcome to 2023. You excited?

What a liberating meteor. You know, I'm old enough that this year I was finally like, I'm not doing shit. And guess what? I'm eating rice crispy streaks from my first meal so I can't pull this. I'm on a diet. So I'm in my 40s, okay?

Every year is the same thing. Every year's thinner and richer. This time I just said, richer able to walk by the end of it. That's it. Yeah, well, you know, that's a pretty good goal, you know? Lower your standards and your year will be great. That's what I say.

Lower those standards. Lower the standards. Well, today we are recapping real housewives of Miami. We're gonna do a little sort of like a breeze through episode six and then we'll do a full proper recap of episode seven catching up as best we can because of course peacock dropped a million episodes on us right as we decided to go on vacation. So that was challenging, but we're catching up.

So then later this week we'll have a fresh recap of the newest Miami episode. We will be officially caught up. Before that though, just a reminder, in case you didn't hear it already, tomorrow we are announcing where we'll be going for our 2023 tour. It's very, very exciting.

We are so, we're just thrilled. So we'll have that announcement tomorrow and tickets will go on sale shortly thereafter. So stay tuned, make sure you are following us on Twitter at what crap ends and on Instagram at WatcherCrapins. You can also follow Ronnie at Ronnie Carrim, me at Ben Mandelker, who will be plastering all the information everywhere,

or just come back here to this very own, this podcast. It's gonna be everywhere. So we wanna make sure that everyone is up to date. So get psyched, we're very excited. And there will be a pre-sell this year, as usual. And those are for Patreon members. Patreon is where you find our bonus episodes and our crap and so on demand videos,

which we do a couple times a week. So go be a member at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends.. Presale codes will go out. I think I think Thursday very soon and then the others will go on sale after that. And all of this of course includes the crappies, the golden crappie awards, which we will be doing this year. We're super excited. We're going to be at a huge space in Los Angeles. So come find out. Okay, we'll tell you later. Now as far as Miami goes, there's a full recap of episode one. Then we did kind of like episodes two through five. Like this is basically what happened. Today, we're going to do episode six. We're going to talk about what we can from that and then do a full episode, Savanna Recap, right now, coming your way,

coming right now down the pie. Yeah, well let's just dive into it, shall we, enough, enough dilly-delly-ing. Let's talk about it. So episode six, by the way, was amazing. I feel like it was the best episode of the season. I was cracking up, it was amazing. This whole season has been excellent.

Miami is just in such a groove. I know everyone online is really excited about it. I share that as well. Um, and episode six, basically started out with the women still gathering around Lisa. They're in Key West. They Lisa has just broken the news to everyone that Lenny not only that the marriage is over, that he actually has a girlfriend and he's bringing the girlfriend around is not hiding it from Lisa whatsoever. These ladies are screaming. I mean, these are the friends you want when you find out your husband is cheating because

she's like, guys, ladies got somebody and he's with her. They're like, oh my god. It's like a telenovela, like a bomb just went off on a telenovela Gold jewelry flying around there's make up streaming down faces and rivers, you know Good like when you have like like the for me, I imagine this on Beverly Hills, and I imagine it would be Kyle putting a hand of her mouth, I'm like, are you sure? Is this for real?

Oh my God, I then Lisa be like, oh, no, oh my God. But these women, they're just like flipping the chairs. Like, oh, my own flag, I was like, I was like, oh, my God, I was like, it's like, twister, hell and hunt, Chase is a flag, call across the screen. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was that. I told you. You don't ever listen to me, but not these girls. These girls all new too, but they're like, up on game. It is just so good. So then of course they go on to the girls Instagram and they're all like, like, it's like a thing. Blu-dda. Yeah. Blu-dda. Blu-dda.

She's like ugly like. She's like ugly like. She's like a man. Yeah, she's like a man. And Alexi is like, Instagram pull. I'll pull her by the hair. I love to pull girls by the hair. And she starts like giving us a visual representation

of how she would do this. So then they all start giving her advice at one time. And it's pretty much the advice you would think. Like Lars is like, oh my God, you should like take a selfie right now like finding out because like that would really get some good engagement like. And then Gerdy is like, okay, from now on, you're going on to the, you're going on your own freeway. Okay, you're going on the, you're going on the Lisa Grady freeway. Okay. And Lisa Lane only., okay, no other cars can be there, because you have a special easy pass. You have the one, because there's cameras overhead and the camera's, Lenny's looking on the camera

and sees you alone on the highway and says, I want to be in that highway, but Lisa Lane only, okay? Lisa Lane only from now on. Yeah, you only think of Lisa and the Lisa Lane. And so now everybody's looking at Gertie like she's just being a total asshole, because everybody else is like, take everything you can. You know, Mary's also is like,

well, make sure you get the green goose. And Alexie is like, put knives in there, bit, start them on fire, you know? And Adriana is like, you know, they're all just coming up with these crazy things on how to get Lenny back. And Gertie is the only one who's like, you can do this, you're independent

and you need to only worry about yourself. So get it together and vent for yourself, you know? And everybody looks at her. Yeah, everybody looks at her like, what are you fucking crazy? Well, Larsa is like very upset about this. I'm gonna just imagine that Gurdie was like domineering or something or like stepped on something

that Larsa wants to say, because Larsa is very upset. She's like, I'm the one who's actually like been through a divorce like, so like, I should be able to talk like, yeah, like, she shouldn't talk because like, I'm not like going to go to like a table with Michelle Obama and dictate the conversation like, I'm going to be like, will you want to talk about like, because this Michelle Obama. like, will you want to talk about like, because it's Michelle Obama.

Like when they go low, I go on only fans. That's like what I know. When they go low, I put my feet really high, because guys really like the angle of the sun coming through my toes. Like, I love that. Larsa is so delusional that she puts herself at a table with Michelle Obama. I know her space. Like girl, you're not, you could have ended the sentence that I'm not like going to go to a table with Michelle Obama. That's it. She's not going to be out of tape. She's not going to be

at a table with Michelle Trachtenberg, less than let alone Michelle Obama. Okay. So then they all go to their rooms because Lisa, you know, Lisa is extremely delusional. You know, now that we know what we know, and we've seen episodes and we kind of look back at the gossip, even later in the episodes, like Lisa must have known, right? Like this is not a surprise. Like Lenny is probably, Lenny, and Lenny claims, of course, Lenny is a piece of shit who's gonna believe him, not me, really. But he claims that she already knew this

and he's been trying to leave for years or whatever. But of course, Lisa's like, I can't believe this is happening. When anybody with eyes and ears is like, oh, this is gonna happen. You haven't escaped my life. Like, you haven't escaped. You've been saying this. You have other bank accounts already with shit

that you're putting in there, right? But she's just, she does it. She's like the person who goes on survivor. It doesn't know how to make a flame. Yeah, and you're always surprised because there's always people like that on survivor. And you think, guys, you know what this shows about? You know what you have to do.

You know what you got to do to prepare yourself, to protect yourself, to make sure you can last as long as possible. Why aren't you doing the basic things? Yes. And this is that. This is the survival show where you marry a really disgusting old, gross, melted candle looking man for his money. And you slowly put shit away in the Cayman Islands. Like, lady. Do you know nobody who watches lifetime seriously? So then everyone is like now back in their rooms. And of

course, it's that at that moment on the trip, where everyone has to call everyone who's at home, right? So Gertie, now calls up her husband, what's his face? Who is so disinterested? And he's just like sitting there just wanted to go watch some Marvel movies because that's like his thing. And she's trying to explain the drama. And she's like, you know, it's like, if your house's done fire,

you better go make sure your house is not fire, right? That's, do you understand? Yeah, but she, she goes, well first she's yelling and I'm like, can you believe this? And Lenny did this so I can not believe that he would do that in Gordy time. This is Gordy time right now.

He's like, well, you don't have to yell at me. And she's like, are you doing it? And he's like, no, I'm not doing it. I can barely muster up the energy to talk to you on FaceTime. You really think I'm putting my dick somewhere else, you know? And she's like, well, if your neighbor's house is on fire, you better go make sure your house isn't on fire too. So then they go have dinner.

They all show up in pretty good spirits, you know, considering. And the waiter is like, hey, everybody tonight we've got some hoisin chicken and large to go, wait, poison chicken. They're like, no, hoisin chicken. What? Hoisin chicken. But like you poison the chicken. I'm like, oh my god. I just like that in Larsa's head, someone would be so brazen to announce

that their chicken is full of poison. Like, what sort of murderer is that? Wait, what? Well, I thought that, but I think when she said, I thought they poisoned the chicken. I think she means like, that's not a nice way to kill a chicken. You know, like, she probably has no idea how they normally kill a chicken, but know, like, she probably has no idea

how they normally kill a chicken, but she's like, oh my god, they poison the chicken. By the way, I just want to also point out that when you said they were all like, you know, gathering for dinner and everyone's been to be in a pretty good mood, of course, they were in a good mood. This is the most exciting thing that's happened to them all year long. They have like so much to talk about, so much to go about like, can you believe it with Lenny? It finally happened. Like, we always knew this was going to happen. Finally, it's out there. Like, they all have a note. They have known he's been cheating around, sleeping around, et cetera. They are like thrilled that

they can find a talk about this openly. So they meet for dinner, right? And what everybody wants, is Lisa at this dinner or she already got gone home? She shows up to dinner late. Like she's there waiting for her, but she shows up late and when she's there, she's like on her phone because she's like, everything they're saying,

it's like I can't even hear it right now. I'm so distracted because she's like on her, she's like checking her text and everything. She's just barely present. So what everybody wants, right when they find out they're being dumped and kicked out of their home on a girl's trip. Oh my God. Look at this. I got something. I was like, yeah, I got something for you. It's a message from Todd.

And it's this video message from Todd. He's like, hey kid, it's me, Tadda da. All right, listen. You know what you are? You like the sun. You like the moon. You like a flower coming out of the ground. Not those fucking gross ones that the air blows on them and they blow all over the place and getting people's eyes. I hate those fucking flowers. What are those called? Like little fucking cotton balls on the ground. Who fucking needs those? No, you're like a pretty flower.

A really pretty flower. And guess what? You're gonna get what a pretty flower would get for the birthday. Something pretty. But I mean, they don't got wrists. But you know what I mean. All right, maybe it shouldn't be a flower. You're a zebra.

Not those shitty little danky zebra's just here on the side of the fruit. It's like, just get't got wrists, but you know what I mean. All right, maybe it shouldn't be a flower. You're a zebra, not those shitty little donkey zebra's, you see on the side of the fruit. It's like, just get through the video Todd, we get it. You're fucking rich, okay? Yeah, that's one of these bullshit things like honey. I hope you have an amazing time. Three hours away from me right now for two days. I'm gonna miss you terribly.

So here is a watch. I'm like, she's not going off to Afghanistan to do a tour of duty for crying out loud. She's three hours away. She's just down the highway. It's like, what happens when she goes to Target? The only thing that could make this better, well, besides you'll be in the zebra flower, if you could open this gift right in front of the woman who has just found out she's going to be poor for the rest of her life. All right.

If she's not there yet, wait. Okay. Just the way. So she opens this. It's this big, big like, what is it? Like a snake bracelet watch thing that's worth $5,5,000. We find out. It's like this really nice expensive thing.

By the way, I can't wait to find out Todd's broke because I'm not believing a second of his. I'm not believing a second of his gigantic I'm not believing a second of his gigantic penthouse condo with a five car garage inside. Okay, not mind-dandy. Alexa, Alexa does not marry men with no secrets. Okay, like that's her thing. Her kink is secrets that she doesn't know about.

But she has a kink that she doesn't realize she has a kink. Okay, she married a drug dealer and a closeted gay man. Todd, I mean, it's gonna be explosive what happens with Todd. And you know it's gonna be explosive because he's doing this over the top lavish gift in the middle of this thing. And again, his gift is like, I love you so much. We're starting a great life together.

Marriage is wonderful. I love being in love. Isn't love wonderful. Isn't it great having a solid relationship that That's gonna last forever at least is like You know, it's like so Yeah, the timing is not great and someone's like yeah, I think that Lisa's worried that the girlfriend is actually in the house And Alexie's like oh my god, we need to calm down one one. I'm telling you calm down one one That was like my favorite response.

Hello 911, okay, I have to tell you something. Okay, Lenny is in the house and there's a hole in the house. There's prostitution happening in the house. We have to go right now. We have to go right now. So the producer asked Kiki, like, did you think that Lenny would cheat because you've been making some faces every time you hear about Lenny cheating?

Because Kiki's faces are priceless. Like she is not shocked. Kiki knows that this has been going on, right? So she's like, I think so. I think so. Just because the shape of his head, you know? You know how the guys have those heads, bold head, cheese a lot. That's it. Look, that guy, the crew guy, bold head, you cheat, no? And he's like, no. And she's like, you cheat.

You cheat. She's a friend of actively calling out the members of the crew for cheating. She's like Tom Collicchio. Wow, big cheats. Big cheats. Big cheats. The judge cheat table.

What that is? So then Marisol, she wants to have, she wants to do a game. Oh, the last time she's been a game. Oh, God forbid. I'm going king. Yeah, well, because last time it was like, how do you trust Louise? And I didn't call, but this time it's like, all right, it's going to be a fun game that I got at the store. It's going to be

about who fits the, who fits descriptions or whatever. So let's go around and play it. So like, okay, fine, let's go play this stupid game. I'll let Lars and go first because Lars and gets picked on the most. Yeah. So there's all just on, are you sure you didn't, you straight didn't mean dript on, are you talking about Lars gets picked on the most? No, like I get like she means like I get like picked a lot for only fans like I've got a lot of fans. So they're just asking questions, you know, like provocative questions and whatever. And so then it gets to what's your face, Julia? And or the question for the table is who would make like the

best prostitute of the group? I think that's the question. And so then people like Julia, and she's like, are you kidding me? I would be worse prostitute because I'd be in sweatpants and be like, I want to stay in. And you're, ha ha ha ha ha ha. But then when you want to milk God, what prostitute milk God come on. I want to make people. Oh no, I can see how that could sound good for prostitution. prostitute can't say only dinner for three. Only for three. I will not eat dinner for two. So you're like, okay fine. only dinner for three only for three I will not eat dinner for two

So you're like, okay fine and then Alexia Like it just comes in and it's like oh well, you know, I thought it'd be you because like you know how to be like a prostitute You know because you're like Russian okay, and like you know like your Russian like so that's like you so you know how to do it And they're like you can't say that it It's really awkward, everyone gets really quiet. And she's like, I don't care. I have every right to say whatever I want. So that's it. You're a prostitute, because you're Russian. And then they tried to recover,

because there's, like, Alexia is so stubborn. There's no way she's gonna, she's kind of a slightly more intelligent to reset you guys. Like you're not gonna explain to her why she's wrong and she's just gonna's kind of slightly more intelligent to research you guys like you're not gonna explain to her why she's wrong and she's just gonna admit it right right so they're like oh you shouldn't say she's like I don't care freedom of speech so they're like okay well let's just move on to the next question so who has the lowest standards and the group and Julie is like well apparently Alexia thinks Russians are all

prostitutes, so I guess I have the lost standards. It's like, hey, why are you mad at me? I was giving you a compliment. All Russians are best prostitutes. I'm sorry. 29.00. No, like, so, so, I'm not all about it. And not only complimented you, I complimented Russia. Like how dare you get upset at me. I know. I like that she spins that as a compliment somehow. And then Marisol tries to cover up.

She's like, well, Miami is like, you know, it's like a cocky in the winter. It's a melting pot of things. And like people, you know, people don't do things to survive. In Russia, one of them, and I think Alexia is just trying to, just, just, just saying, a stereotype. How many sort of strange phrases can I say before you start to believe me here, huh? Oh, good. So then they have this prostitute fight, right?

So then Julia, of course, because this was completely fucking offensive. Like who says that? Razing kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts.

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listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then Julia, of course, is also friends with Adriana, and of course, all my Adriana is in her ear. You know, like I cannot believe she would say this to you. And so now they're having their thing the next day.

So they stop at this coffee stand on the side of the road. And Alexi is like, listen, look, I just want to say, sorry to you because I did not mean to say Russians are the best prostitutes. I just meant to say everyone can really learn from Russians because they're the best prostitutes. You know, it was a compliment. So I'm really sorry because I didn't mean

to hurt your feelings and I don't know if you're a prostitute or not, you know, but I just want to say, if you are, you're probably very good at it. It's like some shitty apology, but she at least tried for her. She was something, right? So Julie is like, um, we mean that we come prostitutes and not to buy choice. And here you are having good time with your champagne and your watch. You made the money from your husband and he was drug dealer and she's you're bringing my past to hurt me. How could you do this? How could you do this? I never lived from I never, she goes, uh, well, you know, like I never

lived from drug money. I was a victim of falling in love with a man who was a drug dealer. She was a victim of falling in love with a man who was a dealer. She was a victim of falling in love with a man who was a drug dealer. Yeah, that had nothing to do with your gigantic mansions and your Ferraris and the jewelry dripping off of you, bought with drug money, Alexia. Come on. Yeah, a victim of falling in love. Oh, God. Thank you, Fed.

It's funny how it never hits with like fat, old, ugly, poor people, isn't it? Yeah, that's, you're so right out of that doesn't happen. Weird. So she's like, don't bring my pasta hurt me. And Julie is like, okay, Guns and Roses to you then. Guns and Roses to you. Which I didn't really know that meant, but I liked it. I was like, welcome to the jungle maybe, or are you asking for patience? Sweet child, a sweet pickle of mine.

Sweet pickle of mine. Hi. So they get back into the limo now. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm a drunken just by the way, because I like the air. During the first throwing hands, during all of this. So Lexi is like pointing up at the air,

like she's shooting little guns up in the air and getting her hands in Julius face and stuff and they're watching, like we would. Like that's exactly what we would be doing. Like Marisol's like, uh oh, the hands are moving. This is bad. This is really bad. Yeah.

See the brow, you know what I'm asking, Alexia, she's a real bro Lexia. Got that one. Oh, by the way, I'd like to show off my new cocky flash that's all glittering. It says cocky's number five. Isn't that holler icon icon? I got my name, can.

So they're really, they're just like really going, cause now Lexia is now painting herself, like she's the one who's been most offended by this, because Julia, Dan, to bring up the drug, Julia, the thing. So they are just like going out, andia is now painting herself like she's the one who's been most offended by this because Julia Dane to bring up the drug Julia thing. So they are just like going out and Julia is not backing down whatsoever. Julia is going in. Yeah, because Alexia is like, yeah, what I said, I'm sorry that she's a good prostitute. What do you want?

And Julia is like, oh, and I was drinking. And Julia is like, well, your apology doesn't work because you are not drunk now and you are still standing up for your opinion. So, Guns and Roses, maybe. Yeah, so then they get into, they go back into the Sprinter band and it's like really tense. And so, Alexia is just trying to explain,

well, not really trying to explain, but they're still kind of like, it's like tense talking, you know? It's like they're not quite yelling yet, but it's like tense talking, you know? It's like they're not quite yelling yet, but she's like tense talking, you know? Yeah. And so she's like, you know what, I never lived from, she's like,

you know what's more shameful? You know what to me? Then this is like women who go out with married men. That's more shameful. And I took advantage of that. Oh, because yes, so now she's trying to turn it to Adriana. Right. And I actually initially thought she was trying to pivot it back towards Lisa and like the

girl, like Lenny's girlfriend. So at first I thought like, okay, she's going to diffuse it by just throwing shade of Lenny. But then Adriana's like, oh, you know, because it was about this whole thing with the doctor. Did you think it was about Lenny's girlfriend or do you think it was about Adriana at that moment? No, I thought it was about Adriana because Julia and Adriana are a team. So Alexi knows that she's fighting with Julia, but she's also fighting with Adriana.

You know what I mean? Because Adriana's the one who's saying, oh really, because she was with a drug dealer, she was in cooking cowboys. Yeah, thanks. She got the bruh. This is all, yeah, what is it, Julia? Julia doesn't keep tabs like that, you know in cocaine cowboys. On that place. That's right, she got the brink. This is all, yeah, what is Julia? But Julia doesn't keep tabs like that, you know?

Like, I'm sure she didn't sit through cocaine cowboys on Netflix, you know, this is all Adriana and her ear. And then it pisses off Alexia and Mary Saul, who are both standing up for each other constantly. I mean, they're even doing their diary rooms together on these episodes. Like, but they get mad when somebody else does it, which is pretty amazing. So it's getting tense and Julia's like, come on, bring it to me.

Come on. Is that all you got? Come on. Bring it to me. Slash. Come on. So then it comes to, um, this episode, episode seven, it sort of cycles it. Episode, so large, so they're on the the van and so Larsa tells Gurdie,

she's like, you know, like, have you ever, have you ever known anybody is like sat at a table with like Michelle Obama like? Gurdie's like, one day, she's like, no, but like, if you're talking to Michelle Obama, you shouldn't be like telling her advice, unlike divorce, because like, if people give divorce advice unlike divorce because like if people give divorce advice, they should like be divorced like.

And Gordy's like, so you're saying I should not be talking about a divorce because I'm still married. Well, thank you very much, but nobody's gonna tell me to shut up, so how about that? And then Alexia's still like, oh, the most shameful thing is people who sleep with a married man. That's what the most shameful thing. So this theory is he's single or no?

And for Adriana's like, no, he's single. He told me he was single. So I believe him, well, I don't think so. I think he's married. And okay, I'm getting confused because now we're going into the new episode, right? Oh yeah, because I was confused. I was like, yeah, so that was what was going on the old episode. Because there's by the way, this is all happening all at once. It's like a million people

cross-talking and so it's like, you know what? When you're covered, it's blown, you open your mouth so low, now you don't shut up and like, see, it's like, oh well, you know, Peter, you're trying to put me down and it's not going to work. And she goes, oh, I don't shame women like you do. And like, says, no, that's what you do. You to put me down and it's not going to work. And she goes, Oh, I don't shame women like you do. And like says, no, that's what you do. You're putting me down. That's what you do. Just while you're punishing yourself and like say by who you are.

And like, because what I'm always going to be in the spotlight because I was born a star. I was like, that's nothing to do with anything. So Lexi is like, you know, you can be a good drug dealer and be a good person too. Just like you could be a Russian prostitute and be a good woman. And Adriana is like about his prostitution more shameful than drug dealing. And she's like, you know what's more shameful?

Yes, this is so, now she's going for the married man thing at Adriana. So it's done, Don. So Adriana is like, yes, you were married. Okay, now I'm caught up. I'm caught up. So I like that just like that brief summation of, yeah, but you were married. Okay, now I'm caught up. I'm caught up. So I like that just like that brief summation of, so now it's done, done.

I was like, that captures so much of this show. Well, that's what I write every time there's a commercial or like any kind of break. I say, done, done, done in my notes. So then when we come back, Adriana is like, well, you were married with her mom before you were dating Taudda, and Lexi's like, liar!ER! And Mary so's like, AAH, right. This is Ascolae and now, AAH, right. This is a really

kind too far. This fight is stepper than a canky and a flas, and Julie's like, you know what? Yes, this is when she does the covers blown. And then, Gordy's like giving this look because it's just like, what the hell? Just give me a second, I'm caught up. Okay, I need to get caught up in my brain because this is two episodes. The first episode we didn't have full notes and this one we do.

So now, buckle your seatbelt. We're entering full notes, Terry. I know, it's true. It's really hard because, yeah, because it's a very intense conversation and we have different, like our notes are sort of out of alignment here Yeah, but now we're back. We're back. I promise we're back. So Alexi is this a bearish repeating I'm always gonna be in the spotlight because I was born a star and

Gordy you don't have to give me that face and Gordy's like what face? She goes you're like That's like Gordy's face always, by the way. Also, when Alexis has always going to be in a spotlight because I was born a star, you're not allowed to workshop your, your housewives lines in the middle of a fight. Like that's not allowed. She's all like half turning. Her arms are on her, on her hips. Yeah, she's very tiny. There's like a little dog and two kids behind her.

So then Gurdie is mad that Alexia said that about her face. And she's like very tiny. There's like a little dog and two kids behind her. So then, 30 as mad that Alexia said that about her face. And she's like, I have never been called it, not by my parents, not by my fucking dog, not by my siblings. Oh, look, look at your face. Like, she's about to literally catch my breath. I am so angry that I am going to sit here quietly

and then just tell everyone in the confessional about how angry I am. So, Maria's so like, all right, all right, pay attention everyone. We're going to have Mohintans and Rolls-Sagarns. And she tells us I can say I've never felt more trapped in my life, even all the cockies on the boss weren't helping me see this mental master range and not you don't even make any fucking sense.

I know. Stop cutting her. About. So they all get out at this restaurant and I was very excited for your honor because I saw all the centerpieces were planted in Cafe Bustella. Tins. Did you see that? Oh, yes.

I saw a lot of breakfast there. Yeah. So they go up to this bartender Vadim and he gives them like a little he's like welcome to Havana Kavana And he starts like teaching them how to make mojitos. I'm like this seems fun But also like they live in Miami. I think they probably know how to do this so etc so Like I'm just gonna put that out there. They everyone probably knows how to make my he does It's also like this really calm restaurant where they're like let's just sit down and have some lessons about

It's also like this really calm restaurant where they're like, let's just sit down and have some lessons about mojitos and cigars. And Kiki comes in like, by la, by la, by la. Oh, look at all these cheaters. Everyone cheats it over there. It's like, sorry, that half of our staff is bald. So, so yeah, they're making the mojitos. And Julia tells us, my breaking point is the respect is missing from calling all the Russian women

Procedures to digging some dirt on Adriana's boyfriend. I'm very annoyed with Alexia Because the guy making a mojito. He's like teaching them like you put stuff in and then you model it right and I just watch as him and she goes You like the best bart ginger in the world like wow is this poison on you know and marisels like you better stay in line everyone I stole the mudler so they're just all drinking and Adriana tells us well we all feel bad for Alexia because she has tragedy after tragedy, but I think on this trip we're having a revelation about Alexia because maybe she's not so sweet. And at the table, Alex is like, yes, you know, because I'm not trying to hurt anybody. I don't have any girlfriends.

Like, I'm a feminist, but I like support woman and I understand woman. What? Didn't you just say I'm not friends with women? Yeah. Didn't you literally say I'm not friends with women? Didn't you literally say I'm not friends with women? I don't have girlfriends, but like I'm a feminist and I support women and understand women. I'm just not friends with them. I'm not friends with them.

It's like her wires are crossed or something. It's like when a checkout machine goes crazy and receipts just start flowing out. You're like, what is happening? So I think, God, we've gotten Nicole here because Nicole's like when a checkout machine goes crazy and receipts just start flowing out. You're like, what is happening? So I think, God, we've gotten a call here because Nicole's like, guys, how bad do you think traffic's gonna be this week? Because of the formula one race.

Well done. You just turned your paycheck for the season. I know. And so Larsa is like, yeah, but Lisa like texted me today asking if we can go out to a party for like F1. And I said I'm hosting the event at the Versace Mansion on Thursday like And Marissa was like oh well Lonnie is gonna go to F1 with a girl probably got a bunch of cockies if you know what I mean

Wank wink wink and then one day earlier Lisa is tell Lisa is We see go back to the time when Lisa's crying with everyone. She's like oh my oh my God, he told me he's going to go around F1 and hang out with her. Oh my God. I'm like, Marisol's, Marisol is shocked that she's going to be doing this. It's like, that's Lisa's whole point. She wants the ambush Lenny. This is what, this is what she's been waiting to do forever. Yeah, it's good for her. So Marisol's like, yeah, but she wouldn't go. Only that song. And Martha's like, yeah, what's awkward? Is it like he like us out, but then she's at home like crying, like I feel like she's like, you know, but like she could

go someplace else, but you know what's going on this weekend for me alone. So that's where she's gonna go. Why shouldn't Lisa go out and enjoy F1? I'm not gonna allow my ex who has a full-on girlfriend, dictate my future. Not happening. I want that formula one and I want it in my forehead. You know what's not Botox. What? So Lexi is like, I just don't want her to run into Lenny.

And they're like, that's the point, babe. And so then Julie tries to take it back to the fight. She's like, guys, question. Where do we go from here? Herkful things were set in each direction. And I don't believe we hate each other. And Alexi is like, oh, we're still talking about this. I didn't mean to hurt you, but when everyone starts chiming in

and then like Adriana and then like things go like that, what do you want me to do? That's it, that's how it went. And then Nicole is like, and then everyone reacts like malicious. Like that person chimes in and hurts you, and then that person reacts, and then it hurts you, and then it goes low, and then it goes low, and then that person reacts, and then that person reacts, and then my dad shows up with a turkey, and then the turkey reacts, and then it hurts you and then it goes low and then it goes low and then that person reacts and then that person reacts and then my dad shows up with the turkey and then the turkey reacts and then I react and then my dad leads the turkey and then my

mom's like go get the turkey and I'm like why mom and she's like now you're reacting and I'm like no you're reacting because now you're on team dad it's because yeah well you should be on team dad too and then I'm reacting and then Anthony reacts and then the plain reacts and then my son Grayson reacts and then guess what 24 hour shift so reactions. And well you know I wasn't trying to hurt Julia. I was just trying to tell her she's really good at her job at prostitution. And I said, I'm sorry.

So what else do you want me to do? And then we get a tssss. And Nicole's like, yeah, she's got a strong personality. It can come off abrasive. But you know, sometimes it can come off as condescending maybe. And then Julia says, but I was vulnerable. I share something private. I missed the girls and my relationship with Martina is not at the peak. And then you say, I'm jealous of you. I'm not jealous of your period. Unless you have got to make dinner for in city. Do you? And then Alexia does the classic, well, you know, Peter, we're not perfect.

A lot of things hurt. My life hasn't been perfect either. She starts doing the, oh, well, you're things you're going through a tough time. I'm going through a tough time too. Even though I just celebrated the happiest point of my life, gay marriage, a Todd, and we had a presentation of a watch last night, but no, my life has been terrible too. And then Gerdy decides that she's going to fight now. So she goes, no one's life has been terrible too. And then Gerdy decides that she's gonna fight now. So she goes, no one's life has been perfect.

But we need to stop comparing. Because some people get the microphone and some people don't get the microphone. And I'm tired of this shit. I'm tired of this microphone shit. And they're like, what? They all just stop and stare at her. I, what was funny to me is I thought that her metaphor made sense.

She's basically saying some people get to talk and other people don't get to talk. And they're like, huh? And Gerdy's like, yeah, some people can have a microphone and like everyone's listening and then some people have like microphones I like no one wants to listen to it and they're like So like you're saying that like some people are like bad wedding bands and some people like a wedding bands I don't understand it Carrie look, he's not for everybody like But I think they were confused it makes sense. It's just has nothing. It's not for everybody like. But I think it makes sense. It just has nothing, it's delayed because her argument was in the van when Alexia told

her to stop making faces. And now she's like, oh really, I don't get a microphone, but it's like an hour later. So they're like, what? They're like, why is she mad? It's okay. Like everyone has their positions and their ankles. It's okay. And Marcel's like, well, I'm lost.

I'm just a wacky old gay icon over here in the corner. Yeah, so largely because I think we're supposed to listen to Girdy Talk and just, yeah, all I'm saying is give each other respect. Is that confusing? And Marcel's like, well, you just keep saying all this other stuff and Alexia's confused. I mean, is anyone else getting confused?

I just like to point out Alexia is getting confused. Okay, also, Alexia is confused. I mean, is anyone else getting confused? I just like to point out, Alexia is getting confused, okay? Also, Alexia looks as confused as water when I reach for it. It's like I say every time Alexia walks out in Ireland CVS, Alexia looks confused everyone. So she's like, yeah, when gurney talks, I get confused. I deals me a gurney. I don't understand a thing that's coming out of her mouth. It's like a rubix kill.

You twist it, you twist it, and then you get tracked, and then it's all off. Why do they keep cutting to Mary's soul? I just need, she makes me insane. I choose the trihardt, trihardiest of all the tri-hards. And this is on a season that Jen Shaw still is not in person, okay? I've kind of given myself over to Mary Saul.

I've sort of stopped, I've stopped resisting and I've just decided I will accept her little prop laden aside, see a little cocky cup or bedazzled cocky cup. So, Gerdy goes, okay, let me start over. Okay, all right. I didn't like the way she dismissed me when she was talking to Julia. And you know, you said to me, like, why are you looking at me that way? And I'm like, looking like, why? Why? And Lexi goes, oh, well, you know, like, sometimes you make these faces. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what you make faces. I just love, Alexia's indignant apologies are so rude, but they crack me up every time.

Like, you know, because you said she's like a more intelligent Theresa and that's so true and it's like, she even does a bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, but it's like a deeper bling, is that it's like, bling, bling, bling, bling, I don't understand, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, I'm sorry Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Blink, Bl doesn't say it. So she goes with all these special expressions, like, bald men after they cheat, they're like, and then, then, keep you down to all these faces.

Gerdy really does do that. She does a perfect imitation of her faces. And so, Mary still is like, on Gerdy, I'll say, this cake is delicious and then go, gah. Like, what is that face for? Is that delicious cake face? I don't got it. Well, so, super if she's the only person who hasn't frozen their face yet on this cast.

So Gertie is- That's another point. She can still move her face and nobody understands. You know, they're like, ew, what kind of creature are you? We forgot what facial expressions are. So Gertie is like, I mean, the point is it's dismissive and then later on you're like I'm a star and this and that and like Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to people like that? Like do you even have a lane on the highway? I don't think so we're all freaking equal

Well, it doesn't rain on anyone else being a star and just because she's a star doesn't mean that You can't be a star and just because she's a star doesn't mean that you can't be a star. And Alexi's Alexi is like oh yes that's all come for Alexia. Alexi is the star. Come for Alexia then you know what I'm done. I'm gonna go smoke my fucking cigar. And so she gets up and she walks away. Here comes one right now. So now some of the ladies go over and Adriana is talking to Gertie and she's like, you found your voice and you have to speak your truth and I'm with you. She's over there team building. Yeah, exactly. Gertie is like, there's a hierarchy in this group and I'm not having this shit.

I'm blowing that shit up. Okay. And she tell us, I'm going to restructure this infrastructure and make sure it's not on fire. Because if infrastructure is on fire, then you better check that your infrastructure is on fire. Okay, how about that? The pyramid that's on fire is going to be made of a, it's going to be made into a rectangular square that's also on fire.

As could be a level playing field that won't be on fire. And I'm going to turn up my volume on a radio that is on fire. So guess what, there's fire and I'm not going anywhere. So you have to listen to what I've got to say. As like you just leveled a pyramid in your example, you just just squashed a landmark. Terrible. Six wonders of the world fighting. Have had no more pyramid, more like pyramid bottom, pure bot, pure bot. Okay, I'll work on that one. So now Alexia is still going off into cigar class.

She's like, I've never just respected her. On the contrary, I've said a lot of nice things about her. And Mary so I was like, cat the jump off. I was like, sir, I'm saying, okay, I come in my own. I believe in my own. I believe in the line after the low. And well, since they are making cigars and the calls like, oh well, do you guys want to hear a sort of malicious memory? Like my dad, even though he's like Cuban,

like he left when he was like five and like he was not smoking. Like, so he like never grew up smoking cigars. So it's like, he doesn't smoke cigars. That's kind of malicious, don't you agree, guys? Anyone? Ericka, okay, you know what? Just put that on the side. So it's like he doesn't smoke cigars. That's kind of malicious. Don't you agree guys anyone? Orca, okay, you know what just put that on the side if we have time I guess we'll slip something in we need to remind people that Nicole's here so just put that on the side fold And Adriana's like oh if it's too big it won't work

You have to get the medium size. Yeah for four months, four months, wait, cigar. And Mary still is like, come on, Olexia, you're Cuban. You came out of the vagina with a cigar in your mouth. Like, Julia came out with a dollar in her mouth. You know, nature not nurture. Am I right, Gaines? So that now, next up, they're going to be going to a shaman. And Lexia's like, forget about the shaman. We need a true witch doctor. So they, you know, it's like, we need a full brucha. I know.

I didn't want to write. I didn't want to say, I was like, I'm probably going to say this in spanish and say the wrong word. I feel like we need a coffee maker. Brucha. Brucha. So it's the evening. And uh, Julius, that now it's time to talk with everyone.

So Julia's leaving a voicemail from Argentina. She's like, I tried calling you today, but I'm coming home tomorrow. So as early as I can wake up, I promise we can have fun. Please call me. She gets a call back. It's like, this is the go. Please stop calling me. This is not Martinez number anymore.

Dinner for one. dinner for one. Dinner for one. Oh, this is good. So Lisa is also unavailable. They're trying to call Lisa. And Nicole calls her mother. And she's like, well, I have to leave tonight. I have a 24 hour shift tomorrow.

So unfortunately, I can't give these women the anesthesia that I would give my patients. I hope traffic's not too bad because of Formula One. Just cut. Please just cut. So we got Adriana and Julia and Adriana is like, well, I hope the shaman can clear our negativity because I'm finding the courage to even date a game. The courage to date again. The courage. Finding the courage to date again. She was dating four people at a time last year,

but now she's like, I'm finding the courage. She's like, but like this guy's also a jerk and this one's a jerk and this one's a jerk. I just don't know if I can do it. And Julia's like, well, don't allow yourself to be bullied by them. They have no right to say something, especially the way they're seeing it.

Hey, Dr. Anna's like, these girls already got their man, like they're married and like, I wish they would leave me alone so I can get to like my four month rule and finally get some. I'm like, well, where you just dropped the four month rule by now? I mean, come on, it's not working out for you. Yeah, four month rule. The world older, four months means a lot more now, you know? Yeah,? Yeah. I feel like I'm at the age of a real housewife now. And four months are you fucking kidding me? You better have bought me a camel, you know, condo somewhere

by then. Camel and a condo. Yeah, I don't like why I said that. So then, um, yeah, I'm Lebanese. I always think that I'm just gonna end up back in Lebanon and the desert somewhere with the Lebanese man As long as there's Wi-Fi so you can still do the podcast, you know, sorry, I let my dream slip so Some of the girls are walking over Adriana and Julia are walking over with the gurdy and we cut to Alexia and She's bitching to Mary-Sole of course and she's like I mean if I see someone across from me and they're making a face It isn't because what you're saying right like I can't sit across from her because I can't say something and then she's making faces like this

Starts making the faces and Mary- does yeah, that happened to me chill I was like is she having a seizure or something. I love that Mary so could literally be anyone in the world because nobody listens to her anyway You know, I know Anilex is like oh oh oh well, you know Peter and Julia and Adriana like they're're always tag teaming. Or is it, is it tag teaming or team tag? They're team tagging, tag teaming, tag teaming. I want her to stay out of it, okay? I want her to stay out of it, okay? Cause like every time she's talking to Julia,

every time I talk to Julia, Adriana jumps in and vice versa. Yeah, yeah. She says something. I totally agree. And then Gerard is like, all over the place. It's like, it's so ridiculous. It shouldn't be like that, you know? Hold on, I need to get my leg out of the potato sack

unless you want to hop with me right there into the bar, but I'm gonna have to get this. You know, I need to get my leg out of the potato sack unless you wanna hop with me right there into the bar, really many hours. I'm just getting this. You know, I don't even know what's happening. It's like it's ridiculous. Everyone like tag teams on me. I don't even have a friend here. I don't even have someone to tag, to be out like my ally.

I have, it's just like me alone here. Oh, why did you put my forehead? I thought I was turning down the TV. How am I gonna know? Oh, I'm not turning down the TV, you know? Disgusting how close these people are to each other. So she's like, we have to pay this bruh. We need money.

We do have cash. And she's like, no, I don't worry. I'll pay for the bruh. She's like, that's why I hang out with you because you take care. TV off. TV off. So then the women are walking to the shaman

and then Lars is like, I feel like I have to do more of what Marisol does and he goes, what does she do? Not you. She's no, no, she takes it to the next level. You can't do it like that. And so they're all laughing. And finally, Adrienne back with Adriana, Gertie and Julia walking Adriana gets a call back from the possibly married man. Yeah, and she's like, well, I have not had time to confront him because he lost his mother. So if it's true, I will not touch a married guy. You know, I've had that done to me and I believe in karma.

Yeah, so she's like, so, hey, Tieri, I have to ask you something kind of crappy. Okay, I'm gonna put you on speak. Can you do you mind being on speaker? There it is. I'm glad I got the crappy part out of the way. Okay, are you married? Is it true? And he's like, uh, I've been separated for five years. And she's like, so legally, are you legally separated or divorced? Cause no, divorced, 100% totally divorced, three years divorced. Don't you worry? Well, some of the girls are saying you're married. And she's like, yeah, I know it didn't make sense from the beginning. He's not married. So take that everybody. And Julie is like, I feel so

much better. I feel so much. She's like, yes, I have nothing, my stomach, I feel so much better. I feel so much. She's like, yes, I had the nother in my stomach. I feel so much better. So they go and I think they're winning, you know? Like, yes, finally we're gonna make these two look stupid. Yeah, because I mean, one thing that we've learned from the show is always trust a middle-aged doctor in Miami who has a dark marital past.

It always works out. Yeah. When you even have to ask, you know what I mean? Who has a dark marital past it always works out? Yeah When you even have to ask You know what I mean like this far into dating Tell me the truth are you married or not bad sign guys? So then they get to the table and they're talking about like oh my god. We're eating some that we can't so much weight and Adriana's like oh well I think I gained five pounds and did I tell you I'm doing a video for my new song. I got a yacht for it. Is anyone down to do it? And then she tells us, I don't know, people don't know, but I've been singing for 10 years now.

You may remember my song that goes, come join us for the sale of the century at Miami, Matt Triss. Yeah, seeing a lot of songs Yeah, my first teeth was Ha, ha, Miami, ha, ha, Miami Miami, it's like wow, have you come on tour? Oh Wait, hold on, I just got they just sent me they just sent me the latest version of the demo of my new song It goes like here listening song. It goes like this. Shus, shus, shus, for sale at Payless Miami. Oh, so good.

Gonna be a banger. So she says that Field Rage, the theme song to this show we're watching, was so successful that she decided to make more. And my new song is in homage to hot bodies in Miami. And also it's about Miami having hot bodies. Yeah, the new song is called Fire. And it's because it's about all the hot bodies and why Miami is so fire. Which point you know, Bernie's like, oh,

so your singles on fire, see? Okay, Russell, I'm calling you. Hey, guys, what Russell, you didn't see your house on fire. I guess what I'll be from music calling you. Hey, guys, what, Russell, you didn't see if your house on fire, I guess what, I'll be your music's on fire now. Congratulations, you didn't do your job. Every time she sings the chorus, Grady calls home, are you cheating on me?

Hehehehe. So then cocktails arrive, and Marys was like, oh yes, khakis. And then Julia was like, I would like a martini, with no vermut and muddled cucumber inside and my mouth was like what the fuck is that It's like salad So Alexi is like oh my god. I feel like we're all single and there's just like Adrian is not single

Adriana you have a boyfriend, right? Like she's like oh yeah, and I asked him, you need to tell me you are married or not. And he said divorce three years and these public records so I can show them. Oh, did you see the public records? Alexia, right, because Alexia came with receipts. Yeah, she's ready.

Yeah, she is, yeah, she has looked for these. And she's like, no, but you have it. And so Alexia,, whips out her phone already up to the page. Yeah, it is, the screenshot is available. And she's like, oh, well, you know, Peter, I'm believing the public record that I have a picture of. And I'm believing that the man is still married.

And so like, she's always made it a concern about how she has, how he, she has trust issues and how these men all do hard work things for her. And like, my concern is for her. And those are always my intentions, but she doesn't listen. Like, I'm sorry, she doesn't listen, she's too bad, I'm sorry. Sorry.

And she's going to go, but when what's this done? I'm like, there's so late with public records. It's three years later and maybe they just didn't get to update. It's actually a very feasible explanation. I mean, bureaucracy, city bureaucracy is bad. So then Marisol goes TBD to be determined. Thanks Marisol. Thanks for explaining your acronym.

So Gertie is telling us oh my god bring out public records in front of everybody. That's fucked up you know. And Alexi is like you know know who I believe? MiamiDate.gov. That's who I believe. MiamiDate.gov. And Bruce August. Oh yeah. She's like, she's a master Googler. Okay, she's a master Googler.

And Alexi goes, oh no, I call Johnny. Johnny's my Google. Oh, so I call you, You call Johnny. Johnny calls Google. Like see, I knew this fucking started with Mary Saul. Yep. Exactly. I always tell. Oh, wow. That's laugh out loud. So Lexi just goes, I am not the Google kind.

I thought was very funny. It's a certain kind of person who will look something up. Google kind. She thought was very funny. Has a certain kind of person who will look something up. Yeah, I also just like the idea of someone in 20, 22, like, brazenly saying they're happy to stay away from search engines. So then I hate to learn things. I hate the most. I don't like to inquire. So Lisa, we haven't mentioned this, but Lisa actually left last episode because she's like, I gotta go back. My kids are in the house. I gotta save the kids from Rebecca tomorrow.

And so she goes back and so she's calling in. And and like, she's like, oh, well, you know, Lisa, we brought you to the phone with our thoughts. And she goes, it's not good over here. It's really not good. So they're asking all these questions like you back in the house. Did he lock you out? She's like, no, I'm back, but I think that he's brought the girl here. Yeah, Lisa. He said he was going to bring the girl there. He said, I know. Why was she even staying? She should have been, you know, God, I shouldn't say she should have.

Like, that's a horrible situation to be in. But like, you hear your husband just says he's leaving and he's going to be dating the girlfriend flagrantly right in front of you. And you stay on a vacation? I mean, I know it's a job because she's filming, right? But girl, run home! Well, it means she did. She did run home. And then she's like, I found some evidence of things. Looks like they were in the movie theater

and they had two bottles of wine. I can tell because they're actually both in the movie theater with two bottles of wine right now. Oh my God, I was like, that's not evidence of any, that's evidence that your cleaning lady is slacking off because she thinks she's got the day off for some. But the DVD they pulled was Six Blinds Club. Oh God.

So Mary's still is like, I'm ever liked. Now I'm leaving some of the same and everybody's told her the same thing. They ordered for the restaurant enough food for two people. There were two sets of footprints going from the floor to the front door. I think two people were here with my kids in the house. I didn't even look at him. And they're saying is he there and she says he's out with the family. Well, yeah, no, she no Lenny is out with the girl right now.

It's like, no, no. It lays, you know what? He's lost his mind. He's pussy whipped. Lost his mind. Bit life crisis. Everything is happening to this man right now. Everything, all of the above.

And this goes, yeah. They're for sure a fucking, right? They're fucking, right? Everyone's like, uh. They're fucking, yeah. And Alexi goes, they're fucking. They're fucking, yes. They're fucking.

I'm sorry, you know. Oh god, they're fucking. What do I do? Do you think, wait, do you think they're fucked in the house? Yes, they're fucked in the house. Wait. You know? Um. Oh God, they're fucking, what do I do? Do you think, wait, do you think they're fucked in the house?

Yes, they're fucked in the house. Wait, do they, they're fucking tonight? Yes, they're gonna fuck tonight. Oh my goodness. So also I just want to point out the way Alexia freights is that he's pussy whipped, he's midlife crisis. It's everything happening to him right now.

She will always find a way to kind of excuse the man. I noticed that too. Every single time she does it with a drug dealer husband, she didn't know he's still a good person. Peter, she does it with Peter constantly, you know, and then even now Lenny, it's like your friend just got screwed over. She's like, oh, well, he can't help it, you know, he's been whipped and he's in a mid-life crisis. Literally nothing is happening to him. She is doing things to other people. I know that too, and I was like, oh god, this lady is programmed.

Yeah, she's ridiculous. So then they're like, yes, they're fucking. And when someone goes, oh my god, what does she think they're doing? Playing Tidley Winks? Hold on, get this khaki in a shot. This is a new one. Just finish this one. Glue just dried on this one.

Got it. So then, I like Julie. Everyone's obviously outraged justifiably so. And then Julie is like, no, that would do a packy stuff. Cut this leaves off in shirts and throw it out in the pool. And then Lars goes, no, because then she looks like like a psychopath like, I'm like, um, well, it is Lisa. But then Marisol, I liked Marisol's idea. She's like, you know what you need to do?

Start posting videos of you and home with your children because everyone can see him out with the other girl and realize that he's a piece of shit. I was like, that's how you do it. Oh, that's a PR person answer, right? That's what I, yeah, that's exactly right. It was total, like, this is a reminder that Marisol did work in PR.

Yes, it's like, oh, just start suddenly posting pictures of you in buttoned down shirts with collars. Like the sleeves rolled up, and like a wooden spoon in your hands stirring something in a pot, like holding one baby on your head and having the other tugging your jeans. That's exactly right. But that is actually what you should do. So then Adriana's advice is a little bit more direct. She's like, okay, change the

locks and if he gets aggressive with you, call 911. They just want to call 911 all the time. Yeah. So Lars, I tell us when she was going through her divorce, I did what I had to do to keep my family together like. Wasn't Lars of the one who divorced Scotty? I thought so. I don't know why Lars was like. Wasn't her thing that she always wanted to be at, like they never saw each other, but then once he was done with sports,

they still never saw each other because she wanted to be other play. I don't know. I feel like it's her choice to get divorced. I don't remember. I thought so. I thought the whole thing was that she wanted to. Yeah.

Wasn't it? Wasn't that she had lived all those years in Scotty's shadow and she wanted to be her own person. Yeah. And he was like not signing, right? He was holding out. I thought that was all. Yeah. He didn't want to get divorced. And he was like not signing, right? He was holding out. I thought that was all of the sudden.

Yeah, he didn't want to get divorced. And wasn't it that she wanted to go to LA or something and he didn't want to? He wanted to just have their life together. And she was like, no, it's my time to shine. Yeah, I just thought this depiction of herself as this beautiful mom just trying to keep everyone together with only fans was a little curious.

What's Larsa? So what are you going to do? So she's like, you know what? I'm going to say like, I love you like Michelle Obama. And I'm going to like call you from the room so that when you like, talk to Michelle Obama, you're not saying stupid things like, okay. I thought there was, I thought you were saying, I forgot that that like was just a larsa like and not a, you're not saying stupid things like such as. It's just punctuation for Larsa. Yeah, she's like, my advice is like prepare for worst, but then hope for like not the worst,

cause like not the worst could be like worst, but it could also be like better than worst but also like like okay how you soon I'm gonna like say like a little prayer for you like when I get back to my room I then when I get back to Miami I'm gonna like pray some more in my apartment that's not in a place with lots of hookers and pimps okay thank you luck. And then Alexia again goes, okay, bye, bye, man. Meena, now he's a time where they're both vulnerable because so is he. Are you fucking kidding me with that? Who says that? Who says that? I don't think Alexia, the ties turned really quick against Alexia. I don't think Alexia the ties turned really quick against Alexia

Yeah, I don't think that he is vulnerable at all like the only thing he's vulnerable to is his hair plugs falling out So then there's just like silence and then Julia goes show it up his ass Yeah, they all laugh and cheers and then Alexie's like this is the perfect moment to go see the shing them So they go over to the shaman and I'm this guy This guy is like a Fred Armies and Kenny G. This guy is a trip. And Adriana goes, are you the man I'm looking for it? And he goes, the one you've been looking for your whole life. And Adriana is like, well, I'll tell you something. I hate men, men, those motherfuckers. So his name is Fernando. And they're like, the weirdest thing is that they all gather around, I don't remember if it was like a fire pit,

but they're in like chairs outside, but they're basically at a bar. It's like an outdoor bar or like the hotel, and they're all doing this shaman exercise, like feet away from where Sue and her best friend are having margaritas. I get so bizarre how close they are to everyone else. At the return.

So he's like, what is sheaam and desu? Is they're able to see in the dark? Oh my god, nightlight. Nightlight. Todd said, I said, no, nightlight. We got nightlight. I see in the dark. Shaman bruhakie.

It's bruhakie. Yeah. So he's like, you know, we quiet the thinking mind. That's always preoccupied with what we need to do and where to go and We allow that part of the brain to soften to quiet I was like, I think a lot of the thinking has been softened on this castle I would not worry about that too much. Do not miss these brains anymore. Okay, they can form sentences. We need them And so The shaman like gives me like baby Jesus types.

Like, I'm expecting this guy to like walk on water and skip his hotel bill. Like, he's like gliding in front of me like. Yeah. And like, so it's like, well, even if he doesn't know what he's talking about, like, he's going to be a good bullshitter because us Cubans are really good bullshitters.

Like, and he's going to tell you some tremendous story and you're going to believe it. I was like, okay, so your credibility is now. I guess not. So great. Cubans bullshit like Russian's prostitute there. Sorry. Sorry, I said it.

Sorry, you can't take it. Sorry, he's like, okay, give your attention, your full attention and allow your friend to offer what they need to offer to the fire because then you'll have your turn to offer things to the fire. And then the most shocking thing happens. They all just start crying and having honest moments. It's not like some crazy housewives show that's like, yeah, husband's going to leave you and I know when you're going to die with your children. You know, it's not one of those Allison moments.

Right. It was sort of weird though that Fernando didn't give them new extensions because I thought that's what shamans do also. Maybe that's just like that's what I remember from Dallas. I'm surprised he didn't click up. I'm surprised he didn't like pick up like really big spills easily. Like a sham wow. pick up like really big spills easily. Like a shamwile. It's a shamwile stew. I'm surprised you didn't just like jump over a wall and swim out to the ocean.

That's what shamans do. I'm surprised he wasn't covered in chocolate because that's what almonds do. That's stupid. I'll just jump in. Cut. Cut. Sorry, I'll... This is so... Cut. Cut. Sorry, take that out of the post, or I'm not even... Hey, Ronnie, make one of the little videos about this moment right now. Even though we're not on video, just like, find some animation.

Uh, damn it. Pants, old. Put that in the Mary Soul pile, please. Thank you. Hey, I thought he was to make a movie score, because isn't that what Mark Shaman does? No! Oh!

Oh, Mary's the pop culture reference. So everybody just gives log lines of their plot lines this season and cries over that, you know. Like, Tharza says, I mean, Alexi is like, I mean, where am I? She says, I want to be more open and more accepting of my son, Peter, and his decision's.

Oh, God, yes, you start with the, Julie is just like, I talked to my wife because I will not eat dinner for two. And yeah, Alexi is like, oh, I need to understand Peter more. Oh my God, you need to fucking call the cops on your son. Yeah, one person that she's not going on. I want a piece of shit that guy is. Yeah, Kiki is like bawling because she's scared to start over and she's all by herself

and scared. I guess maybe she just went through a divorce, I forget. And then Lars says like, I feel like I had like such a good marriage like in the beginning. I'm just looking for that and I'm not going to like set it like and thus I feel like it the beginning. And I'm just looking for that. And I'm not gonna like, say I don't like, unless I feel like it like that. But it's impossible to find because it was, it was so good like. Yeah. And he's like, but are you open and willing

to love yourself first? And she's like, yeah, like I like my own posts. He's like, wow, good for you. And so good. He's like, I like all this little bird. And it comes to my room and it pecs And it's not my bedroom is my office And then people are like somebody is pecking on your office and like leave me alone get out of here

Give me the microphone and then I take the microphone from the bird and I sink I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me And then my and then my Alexa goes off me. And then my, then my Alexa goes off. So then what is she even triggered by? It's so weird because I never say her name. There was, she just was like, hi, I'd like to talk to you about your Gurdian personation. She keeps coming on to sing the most right. She's like, I've never heard of that. Oh, really? Well, thanks for the smart attitude. So Marisol cries about her, you know, losing her parents and she just wants to help. I just want to help my friends be better. Like, you know, she's the saint. And in Adriana is like, well, as a little girl, I used to wake up to the crying of my mother and my dad used to cheat on me. My mother all the time, my mother weeks just

self-packed her sleep. The people at the bar next door are probably like, what is going on over in that corner? So, but it's a very nice emotional moment and they sort of come out. Alexia tells us that, you know, that they need to be more tolerant of each other and more patient, not judge as much. And because we all have a little black sack that we put things in and then put more things in there and they accumulate and they get a lot of baggage because a lot of stuff in their little black, black, black sack. So yeah, so they all leave hugging and crying, you know. So now we go back to you. Hey, hey, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, and Julia's sweeping out the barn.

God, you're silly, God. Do you know for three, two and a half go. Ghost like I'm not eating with you prostitute. Hey! This is what happens. And Nicole does math with her kid and you can tell this is Anthony's kid because she's like, Okay, if I give you one dollar and then I give you another dollar, how many dollars do you have and he pulls out a fiver? She's like, okay.

Hey, so I wait, I'm missing a five from my purse. All right, so much. So if you add 23 hours to one hour, how long does that make your shift? 24 hours, mom, I got it. You say it to me every day. So then we go to Ariana's music video and they're doing rehearsal with the choreographer and stuff, but it's just her and Kiki pretty much. And Adriana is like, yeah, Alexia takes it that she has a hectic morning, so I don't know where Alexia is.

And Kiki's like, but then tomorrow they're gonna fuck your whole thing. And then comes in Jonathan, the director. He's like, sweetie with a girl sweetie okay everyone I just got off my shift at John but you just five minutes early so I could be here right now tell us okay places everyone places no this is not a John but you sky there's like maybe like a synabon bowling alley synabond manager the manager at the synabond bully alley but maybe he goes to John but you use he goes to John but you use to get his drink and the yells at the girls there like that

guy in the viral video last year and then he goes to synabond where he's the manager yeah I could imagine him like managing a corn on the stick hot dog on a stick you know no you know it's corn on the stick he's like you like you hit a hot dog on a stick well let me tell you something corn on a stick, you know. No, it's corn on a stick. He's like, you know, you heard of hot dog on a stick? Well, let me tell you something. Corn on a stick. Come on in, I'll give you a free sample. The cops are longer in the shorts is shorter.

Hello, down a stick. We'd love to hear your reviews on Yelp, because the corn has ears. Okay, everyone, free samples. Sweetie. And Adrienne was like, well, we're disappointed, but we're carrying on because the girls have hectic mornings. And so then we see Alexia driving up

to Neverland Restaurant. Yeah, this never- Which is funny as the mother of the biggest Peter Pan on Bravo. So she drives up and she gets a table for three. And Mary-Sole, Larsen, heren her half lunch and completely ditched the video. Yeah, they're hectic morning Marisol's like why the hell do I have to be rehearsal? I'm not gonna be dancing. I'm gonna be serving cocktails like the gay icon. I am Come on

Yeah, much your body move to the cockies you can't do when I come There's this like first of all like I'm not like shooting a music video if it's not my own like Let's you can barely get through a halo you can barely get through a halo collar Segment okay, we will hold our breath. I can see your halo Hello Okay, we will hold our breath. I can see your halo, halo, halo color. So now we go back to Adriana and she's like, well, I'm going to record it and I hope they can learn it because I'm not getting married to a man. I'm getting married to my dream.

The thing is, I'm gold fire about hot people in Miami. So the director is pissed. Keke goes, it's okay if you can eat chips in a video, right? He's kidding. The director is so mad. He's doing a full director thing. He's just like, because Adriana's like,

well, I'm just gonna like show up like, you know, like if, you know what, if they don't, if they show up, they don't know the choreography. Because well, that's even more half-assed, okay? I told every, I told Joni at Sinabon that I was making a big deal feature, and this is what's gonna happen. What am I gonna tell Joni?

Mm-hmm, so, back to the restaurant. Alexi is like, I can have a frosay, please. And, in other words, it goes, I don't even know what frosay is. It's like, frosé, but it's like frozen like Rose freeze Frozen no

Yes, it's called the frozen. I don't get it. Okay, just move on guys. So they're like so what what did you freeze? Frozen frozen what? So what, what did you freeze? Frozen. Frozen what? Frozen, that's it, Frozen. Frozen, I'm not playing this game with you. So I went out with Lisa and we went to this like Galah like, but then I saw like Lenny enter with like a girl

and like I almost had like a heart attack. Like I was like, oh, so you saw him with a girl? How did Lisa react? He got ugly. And then we then we see Lisa, our first Lisa, citing of the episode and she goes and she meets up with Lenny's mom for lunch. And Marina's like, holy, I'm extremely sorry. I don't really know how to change my son.

Little asshole. I don't know what to do for you right now. Yes, actually really nice because Marina is on Lisa's side, which I don't really see coming. Did not see that coming. Yes, so I really like that. And she said, nobody in our family divorced. This is first divorce in our family. So is she really on Lisa's side now or is she on family reputation side?

Well, I think both because I mean listen, they know it's been divorced and he just had children with her and he's leaving her alone You know, she always hated Lisa before But I think she figured listen, this is your wife. She had kids for you, which seemed to up Lisa's reputation with the mom But I think it's kind of a mixture of both. Was this Lenny's first, Lisa Lenny's first wife? I guess. Wow. Because she said no one in their family has ever been divorced. Wow. So they were together a long time. And did she say 16? Is it 11 years or 16 years? 13, I think it's 13 years. Well, I got a very 13 year. My brother'sither. That's on my brain works.

Well, either way, Lisa's like, I have spent my entire adult life with Lenny and I don't even know how to date. Like, he's dating. He has a girlfriend. I mean, it's like, Oh, he's James so much. I cannot recognize that man.

And she's, oh, I said, please stop, stop embarrassing us. And he said, don't worry. No one's gonna know anything. Oh my God. Yeah. So, um, she says that she bumped into him at formula one, just bumped into him. Yeah. I had no idea he'd be there. And he was holding her hand. And I said, stop this. And then I told the girl, why are you a home wrecker? And then she looked her lips at me.

She looked her lips like this. That's what I was disgusting. like this. That's when. No, it's disgusting, stupid, it's disgusting. Yeah, and the mom's like, oh, and some of these people were watching and probably taking pictures and videos of this. What kind of woman is she? Pee.

Yeah, and then Lisa goes, well, Lenny's not a great person himself. They're both at fault. Really? Marina's like Okay, I let that one slide. That's my son I'll give you that one on temporary basis as long as you don't try to make me shakshuka again Or borstu is borst right? No, but Lisa was having shakshuka I think I was like Lisa's first shakshuka. She's like I'll have the what do you call it?

Shakshuka. Yeah, the shakshuka. I'm like how I'll have the, what do you call it? Shak Shuka. Yeah, the Shak Shuka. I'm like, how do you live in Miami for 13 years, never get Shak Shuka before? So then back to Larsa, she's like, I'm like having like a heart attack. And I like Tak's Lisa, like, like where are you Lisa? Like, and she takes back, and she was like,

the bathroom like, like, I guess she like ran into them, and like recorded them, like the bathroom like, like I guess she like ran into them and like recorded them, like holding hands like. Mass like us. No. Yeah. And he left and she left crying. And then now Lisa's like, I mean Lisa is going through it, understandably.

And she's saying like how much can her heart take? She can be a single mom. She's scared. And she says that she's been like how much can her heart take, she can be a single mom, she's scared, and she says that she's been living in denial. And you know, after the first affair 12 years ago, she should have suspected it, and she just talks about crying herself to sleep and waking up and still being in a nightmare. Yeah. So then, um, um, Larsa is like, yeah, but like, you want to know like how crazy the girlfriend is? Like, she posted the watch that Lenny gave her

on Instagram, it's like a $100,000 watch. And Alexis, Lisa has that. Well, at least he didn't take Lisa's. And they all just kinda look at each other like, did he take Lisa's and just give it to this girl? Cause I wouldn't put it past him. And so the maristals like well Lisa was advertising her lifestyle we knew that would come. And Alex now they start to suspect that Lenny has been telling Lisa for a long time like hey I'm done

I'm done I want to be out I want to be out and at least it just brushed off all these years. Yeah Alexis as do you think Lenny told her, like it's been over four months and like you need to get over it? And that's why he's acting like this. So yeah, they're basically saying Lenny broke up with her and that she just was going into delusionville where she's just trying to make it work, trying to make it work.

And then finally, it's like, I told you get the fuck out of my house, find that I'm gonna go public with this check and have her post her watching stuff. Right. Yeah. I think there may be some truth to that. Just because Lisa seems to have been in such denial, I would not be surprised, but even if he did do that,

still I don't think it justifies the way he's behaving now at all in any way. So then, let's- On the fact that she hasn't even called a lawyer, like she's doing all of this, like I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna show up or I'm gonna show up at Formula One and really get it on Instagram with her.

Yeah. Like where I, have you called a lawyer? Girl. Like how ironclad is that prenup? So then Larson's like, can I like tell you guys something? Like I got like T-Like. And Larson goes, oh, what other bomb are you dropping today? Pips? I was like, can I tell you guys something? I got like T-Like, and Larsa goes, oh, what other bomb are you dropping today?

Pips? I was like, pips. What is this? Would we like? What? We've got what? What Tiddly Winks and Pips in one episode? I know.

What strange spin-off of Greece are we doing here? I know, like we're once to judge. We're like, let's compare this to the television show, Sisters. Oh. Ha, like, let's compare this to the television show Sisters. So which one of these ladies is most like flow from Mel's diner? So then Larsha goes, so like an old friend of mine today, so they said they said Julia, making out with a guy at the surf club, sweaty god, sweaty god.

That's too big a joke. Dun, dun, dun. Well, we'll have to wait to find out how that works out. And a lot of people, by the way, have message us about Martina, which, of course, we have read about and heard about, which is very sad. So sad. But Martina, this is good. Breast and throat cancer, which is crazy.

She found out she had both, but yeah, they're in stage one. So, it's looking good for sure, but plus her heart, love her. And the good one. And the good one is, Martina is Martina. This will not take her down. She will be fine. So anyway, but all are our best wishes and good energy and vibes go out to Martina for this. And of course,

the Julia too and the whole family. So anyway, on that note, thank you all for listening. Thanks all for being here. We'll be back to recap the new episode of Miami. Finally back in synced with the show later this week. And we will catch you all on the next episode. Bye everyone. Later this week, and we will catch you all on the next episode. Bye everyone! Byeeeeee! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney!

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