Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: A Tre-gue of Their Own - Live from Denver

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

This week on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Dolores arranges a charity softball game which turns into a minor spat about yoga pants — as is wont to happen.Get tix to our live shows: ht...tps://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some raunchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,
Starting point is 00:00:18 or wherever you get your podcasts. What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened?
Starting point is 00:00:40 What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? I'm happy with what you're having. I'm happy with kids. What happens when they're so happy? What happens if we're not sure? What happens if we're not sure? What happens if we're not sure? I'm happy with kids. What happens when they're so much that's happy?
Starting point is 00:00:54 What happens if we're not sure? Mmm, well hello, Dan. Hello. Oh, my God. Now, you know, we will fuck up a recording of a show. You know that, right? You know that. Especially when it's real housewives of New Jersey. Especially. Especially. Especially. I'm not doing this shit again tomorrow morning. Free flood. Hello Denver. It's so good to be back here. It's great to be back here.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Love it. So great to see you guys all. I see my girls are ran into on the street over there. They're both dressed as Alexia, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and then you guys from Facebook saw you there. My family's here. Hi family, my aunties, my cousin. There they are. There they are.
Starting point is 00:01:42 There they are. There they are. Congratulations, kind. Congratulations. There they are. Congratulations, kind Chris, on getting married. Congratulations. You know, I was telling Ben a couple weeks ago, I really missed cargo shorts. Like, why? Why can't we wear cargo shorts?
Starting point is 00:01:58 Like, who decided? And then I got on the plane to Denver. The man in Denver don't give a fuck. They're like, I'm going to carry as much shit in my pockets as I want to, sir. And I will have 90 pockets. And I'm going to wear a strange Fedora cowboy hat. Hi, Brad, as well. I used to love a cargo short.
Starting point is 00:02:22 I think it meant the final few years of me being in the closet, I was good for like, here's how you know you're going through like a self-loathing phase I had. Cargo shorts and T-Vas on it all times. It was like someone was like, you have to come out of the closet because this like fake straight thing is going wrong. I've been out of the closet since I was two years old and I love fucking cargo shorts and I wore it. I just got rid of my leather crocs last year. I've had those for 20 years. I have the first edition of that shit. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Well, it's very exciting to be back here at Denver. These are our third show here. And yes, I'm particularly excited because this time I'm staying at a hotel called Miven, okay? I was like, I saw this hotel called Miven, I was like, I have to stay there. Just because it's like, this hotel is going to tell me where to buy a house that's out of a highway. It's very important to me. You're saying a Ramona themed hotel, it just bitches at you.
Starting point is 00:03:26 It's like a free bitching in the morning. You know what? Well, you should get back, just stay in Cag. You literally have to take the hotel's luggage up to a room. The hotel just has a lot of you checking, they just give you a bag. Well, you just bring this upstairs, I'm sorry, there's no servants around, okay? Whoa. I also like that it's part of something called the dairy block.
Starting point is 00:03:52 That's very cool. I love the idea of just being in a block of dairy. So it's one long city block of fart. Yeah, and there's like a food court down there, so a food hall, so I walked around. And whenever a food court down there, so a food hall. So I walked around. And whenever I'm like, let loose in a food hall, I literally become Padma Lockshmi.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Like I'm judging everyone. So what do you have here today? Oh, pizza? Wow, did you go to Italy because I did. Exactly. Did you mean to leave out a cute kudobo? I almost ordered there from there today because I don't have that where I live. And I was like, oh my god, a kudobo.
Starting point is 00:04:33 But I didn't. I need the you. I can't support that. What is kwajrappaba? I couldn't support it. It was like Chipotle but with less things. But I will say more K-so, dairy block,
Starting point is 00:04:52 dairy block. So you know what, you can't win. On the way here, everything's very far here. Well, the airport's very far. That's really all right. Everything is self-armed, Denver. The airport is far.
Starting point is 00:05:04 And God bless his car. He was wearing cargo shorts as well. I could decide to point out. Sky hat on sports, guys blaring. Those fuckers are worse than us. Straight guys are worse than us. Yeah. Wee.
Starting point is 00:05:18 These queens, these heteroquines. Yeah. Mama, mama, mama, what do you think of Welshmen? I thought, I thought, I've got your, I thought, well, I'm not gonna give these little nattering yentos, like both of them. Now I know how husbands feel when they're dragged to this shit.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Yeah. It's true. All right, let's get into real housewives of New Jersey. Yeah. Welcome to Watch Your Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. So excited to be here for this show. For those of you who are new to this show or real housewives, I'm very sorry because, yes, it's a lot of yelling that really makes no sense. So welcome to the next six hours of your lives. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:06 So. Pay me a thing under me, I'll find my meal, dry, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Did you call people in ten of fly? I was just asking, because it was curiosity. He called my husband a crook that's disgusting. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, He called my husband a crook that's disgusting TK was asking a lot of clueless questions. He don't got a boom now to know
Starting point is 00:06:39 Jennifer me To reset Jennifer and I made the episode you know what? Sip it okay just, just sip it. Yeah well otherwise you're gonna look like shit. You kind of look like shit. You look like shit all the way to you. You look like shit all the way to you. You look like shit all the way to you. You're shit.
Starting point is 00:06:56 And see. See. So we open at the tree top tree scape. So we open at the tree top tree scape tree scape already very disturbing because they like like when I hear something called tree scape on this show I just think of someone like waxing Theresa I'll be honest every time they say it like well and we're at tree scape and I just imagine them all standing around at a nested tissue It's office just like looking at our goal to be airy. You know, with duck licks. I always think of trees to just trying to run from camp, you know? The great tree
Starting point is 00:07:40 escape. So we open at this treepe team building bullshit. Listen, if you have to build a team with me, we're not a team, okay? If you need to sit me down to get me on your page, I don't like your ass, okay? That's why I'm not on your page. I don't need a hand but to get on your page. I don't like you. And to do it outside at a tree place. In the trees. In the trees. So, yeah, so they're having a big fight. Have we done enough to the trees?
Starting point is 00:08:15 I look around. We want to save the trees, but not submit the trees to this. If anybody needs to escape, it's fucking trees. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So they just gotten this big fight because Jen made Jen is Teresa's ally and Jen made up with Marge is Teresa's enemy and Sonata Teresa is just losing it. But in the midst of losing it she's brought all these gift bags with her workout and fire that she's trying to sell and she hates all these bitches and they're in her too So she keeps kind of throwing that at them as well, but she's you're gonna top your city attitude off with leggings She's really bad with the timing of her like
Starting point is 00:09:18 Self promotion because last season she was in like a huge fight with Jackie while simultaneously trying to promote vibrators. You want to like, you know, have like a receptive audience there Teresa. She's always hustling though. You've got a love of housewife that won't stop bitching at you to sell their shit. Yeah. So they're having a fight. So Margaret and Teresa are now yelling at each other. And Margaret's like Teresa, I'm not not gonna discuss this with you, okay Teresa? I'm not gonna do this, right? I'm not telling you to put on a disguise,
Starting point is 00:09:49 I'm already know who you are. That, Teresa, you're not gonna listen to the words that I'm saying. I said, discus, discus. Don't dis me, and don't concern me, but it's already there. Okay Teresa, no, no,, don't pick up that rock. I didn't say discus like the sport.
Starting point is 00:10:08 I said, discus. Teresa's stupidity, God bless Teresa. Yeah. Teresa's not used to having that many people stand up to her in the first place. Yeah. But when they do it with words, I mean, Trees is like, this is a big challenge. Bringing in the logic.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Oh my gosh. So Melissa's like, come on, guys, retain building here. My daughter might not be a cheerleader. Oh, no. Oh, no. And Trees is coming out at Margaret because she's saying Margaret brought up all this stuff about
Starting point is 00:10:47 Jennifer and Bill's affair and everything, right? So she's like, I didn't bring anything at. Okay, everyone was talking about it in 10th fly. Oh, a stick is cream. Okay? Yeah, but it was hidden for 10 years. In March, they're all doing the singletarisa now that's so funny to me. They're all answering Teresa in full sentences to kind of keep Teresa on board with the conversation. So Teresa's like, no, it was hidden for 10 years. No Teresa, it was not hidden for 10 years. All right, you think? Was it hidden?
Starting point is 00:11:23 Was it hidden? Yeah, it was. Meanwhile, these bitches are all changed to trees. hidden for 10 years. All right, you think? Was it in Hannon? Was it in John? John was the hidden. Meanwhile, these bitches are all changed to trees, by the way. I don't think we mentioned that. OK. You got Jen changed to a tree over there. You got Tracy, who looks like a baby tree.
Starting point is 00:11:38 It's like a tree. She's another tree. A tree on a tree over tree. And some markers like listen to me say, you're trying to deflect someone's talking about Louis. Okay, that's what it is. No one's talking about Louis. Oh yeah, I'm going ahead talking about Louis Troutmouth.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Listen, I don't want to talk about, listen. Whoa. Troutmouth, she pulled out a Danielle Stub. Troutmouth. Classic. And you shouldn't throw Troutmouth when you live in a singing bass face. You know, a little stob? A trout mouth? Classy. And you shouldn't throw trout mouths when you live in a singing bass face. Man.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Listen, Mark, listen, listen, I don't want to talk about Louis. I don't want to talk about Louis. Okay, like, we don't talk about Louis. We don't talk about Louis. We don't talk about Louis. But I was in Tana fly, looking on Instagram. Then I saw a VDR. Louis does have that look of somebody who's just banished from a family. Hiding under the stairs somewhere. I saw in
Starting point is 00:12:46 Conto. I actually haven't seen in Conto but I'm just assuming it was very much like this scene right? Totally right. Everybody was wondering whether magic powers went crazy. So let's see everyone's like, did you watch Inkonto? Did you watch Inkonto? By the way, if you like my Texas pronunciation, I saw Inkonto. I saw Inkonto! Or Theresa calls it, I can't though. I want to have Inkonto the movie with you, my Aunt Ma. Who was this in a movie called I Can't Know? Alright come on, talk about Louis.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Check, you know what? Every time who opens Instagram, I'll read him notes about Louis TV. I'm ranked mind with Johnson's Jordan News. You know everything, just like the rumor about having them in shotgun. Which the event, the rumor was the event was fucking somebody at a gym, which, I mean, it's a gank, I whilst you go.
Starting point is 00:13:55 But that's last season anyway. And Teresa's still just that little hamster out there just spinning around. And she's like, yeah, I found out because of you. And she goes, you heard it from my mouth. She goes, I think you put it out there. She's like, but you never heard it from my mouth. So don't put it in here.
Starting point is 00:14:14 She's like, well, no, I never said I heard it from your mouth. I'm going to. Ah. She tripped her up on my. You look at from my mouth. You heard it from my mouth. Well look at that mouth, you heard it. From my mouth. Well, I didn't think I had a fangomong.
Starting point is 00:14:28 I'm really used to that, I said it. My mouth, fangomong. Bbang, bang, bang. Bbang, bang, bang. Bless her. Jesus. So Teresa, I just put Theresa's now confused. Ha-ha.
Starting point is 00:14:49 It's so funny to me. They need a little birdie animation to just fly around her head. Like she just got conked with the pan, you know? T- that she's gonna trick things about next time like I got something to do with Losing her mind And Margaret's like you asked it a call you ask Jennifer to cause Serena Okay, you asked it cause to keep mentioning Serena Serena from ten of fly Serena from ten of fly I have like a vague memory of a Serena from Tenefly. Serena from Tenefly. I have like a vague memory of a Serena
Starting point is 00:15:26 from like two seasons ago, but they're like, was she from Tenefly? She's from Tenefly. Okay, she's from Tenefly. She's just gonna sneak us, Nick is creating it. Okay, I'll be honest. And then in case we forgot,
Starting point is 00:15:37 there's a clip of Marge going, Jennifer, are you saying that Teresa asked you to call Thirin and Jennifer? It's happened to say Jennifer. And she's like, I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna. I can't go on direct like that, Mrs. So, so Jennifer's like, listen, it's not a big deal to reset.
Starting point is 00:16:01 We were on the phone. We were coming off the heat of what Jack said about G. She was venting to me, we were upset. While we were talking, she was like, I don't understand, don't you know anyone? I'm from Tana Flamista. She sort of does sound like the lyrics, so we don't talk about Bruno.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Everything she says. We were on the telephone. You were real far up. There wasn't a melody. Your husband, when Jackie said, she let us cook in that bathroom. We don't talk about Srinana. And Shereesa cracks we up because she also cannot hide when she's lying, because she
Starting point is 00:16:41 starts screaming. Like immediately, you asked it a cool siberine in ten of like, I need no idea why I order. She make it through all of those court proceedings. Well you raise your hand and swear to tell the truth and nothing but the ... The stenographer is just like, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to have you say that again, please. They just had to have Siri do that whole thing.
Starting point is 00:17:11 The little stenographer machine just, so now my favorite part of the argument, which is when we now move into the rules of when you can and cannot say an analogy and how one does that. So, I know all of the new Jersey storylines, what is an analogy is my favorite. I mean, that's just a classic. That was an instant classic when that hit. So, Jackie is like, I mean, what's wrong with you guys? I mean, why are you digging up things like when I was,
Starting point is 00:17:41 I was really, why are you digging up things? And Teresa goes, well, I know, why you said about my daughter, you didn't say analogy before that, so I was confused. Yeah, you was trying to harm me because you said stuff but then you didn't say it was an analogy. She literally said, you didn't say, I'm gonna use an analogy. She has like, that's the crux of an argument. Like, I'm allowed to go bash it on you
Starting point is 00:18:10 because you didn't give me like an FBI warning on the VHS tape, like the following content does involve an analogy. Bravo didn't have that content warning like during commercials, like they did during this episode What you if you need help with what you just saw Please please call a dictionary Call the analogy hotline so March who's just about to poop on the floor like I've never seen Margaret lose it like this
Starting point is 00:18:42 So Margaret's like you don't tell somebody the analogy isn't analogy. You don't tell Teresa, okay? And Teresa goes, yeah, I do do if you don't want to talk to her. And Jackie just goes, man, you don't tell Teresa, you don't. And Dolores always help with Dolores goes, why couldn't you just say, for example? And then Teresa goes, thank you, and goes for a high five. I'm like, is that a four example high five? Like we just adjusted the by-laws on analogies high five
Starting point is 00:19:29 You don't say it's an analogy because it's an analogy, okay? I mean you don't go you don't go by the way. I'm using an analogy. I Mean that's like counting your chickens before they hatch. Oh, I'm sorry Teresa. See it just happens. It just happens Honey gone chickens if they don't hatch. Okay, Teresa, I'll give you this. For example. And Teresa is just, they're throwing so much logic at Teresa. She literally just throws her hands up. So, Jackie's like, guess what? There never would have been an analogy about someone you love.
Starting point is 00:20:10 If you didn't spread a rumor about someone I love. Would you, Jen, Jen, thank God you're down from that tree. I was hot, baby. All right. Would you have called Sabrina in 10 of Fly if Theresa hadn't told you to? I got a mint, baby. I wouldn't have had that conversation,
Starting point is 00:20:32 but it doesn't make it Theresa's fault. I did it. I committed the crime. I rest my Mr. I didn't need nothing. Mimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimim MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Bella Sive. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin
Starting point is 00:21:20 and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. Watching a fish out of water, it bounces around.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I'm not calling you a fish because I said, for example. Some Margaret's like, I'm not doing this. You know, but this is a deflection. I mean, what are we talking about last year? Between all of our husbands, there have probably been 30 affairs and hundreds of lines of coke done in bathrooms via our children. Like real housewives. Your husbands have all faked somebody at the gym between now and then and now.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Well, guess what? All the ladies were like, I'm checking my husband's gym shit. I'm normalizing if I can get the gem. So the thing is, the one thing that can always end an argument on New Jersey, I'm really hungry. Let's go sit down. I could eat a horse. For example, Teresa, for example,
Starting point is 00:22:59 Teresa is calling up the SPCA. So Teresa is like, she, ha, ha, ha, she does like a zen breath. And then we go over to the lunch table that Treesgate has set up for them. This don't o' bird, okay? Tracy, Tracy goes, guys, there's a smores bar, but I don't think I wanna have a fire.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Wow, thanks for the invite. Yeah. Great team building. Let's all eat some raw marshmallows together. After fucking dangling for our lives from trees. Yeah. Also, congratulations, setting up a fire in the middle of trees. Congratulations.
Starting point is 00:23:37 So, like, that's why she didn't want to do it, right? Like, you can't just make s'mores at the tree scape. So, why that makes you so. I'm about to say that crossed over for a second. I thought really, sometimes I get really mad and I'm like, why? Why are you mad? I'm really mad about a raw marshmallow. Like, you don't get salmonella from a raw marshmallow. You can eat it.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Yeah. So Teresa, so now they are sitting down and Teresa is yelling, I'm happy in my life, I'm all about love, love, love, love, love, love. And Margarita goes, yeah, I can tell. When people trying to harm me and upsense me and Tracy, you're asking your husband to ask my boyfriend questions, I'm met you five minutes ago. And Tracy goes, wait, back it up. Who's asking who's husband? And the closed captioning actually spelled it right.
Starting point is 00:24:33 It said, H-O-W, apostrophe-S, whose? Asking H-W-H-O-S-E. I was like, you guys shouldn't be writing captions for this show. Because you know even that shit should be misspelled. This is Jersey. So anyway. I just think two intelligent for your caption for this show. There was also a W involved.
Starting point is 00:25:02 I had it in later. So Tracy's out. Look at Whartle over here. So Tracy goes, I'm sorry, Tracy goes, did I sted up? You're asking me, husband, to ask my boy, ring questions. And Tracy's like, well, you know what? I'm B.P. asking questions to my husband, but I never ask him anything.
Starting point is 00:25:25 He's never in a million years, we'll listen to what I say. I'm like, great relationship. You fit right in on this show. So, Teresa, they've said ask so many times, because Tracy's like, but I wouldn't ask him. He didn't ask and they didn't ask. And even if I did ask, he wouldn't ask if I asked about the asking.
Starting point is 00:25:44 And Teresa's like, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. They just keep hitting Teresa on the head with a pen in this episode. So Teresa's like, yeah, well, he asked, he asked, he asked, okay, but Luianne don't problem with it. I got a problem with it. And Teresa goes, yeah, but why do you care
Starting point is 00:26:02 if he's asking a question that's out there? And Teresa stops and she's like, goes, yeah, but why do you care if he's asking a question that's out there? And Teresa stops and she's like, yeah, yeah, my stuff out there about you too, that you was the nanny, all right, and that you broke up a family. Do I ask those questions? Boom. Yeah. That was not me saying boom. that was Jersey going boom. Yeah, it's my favorite move when someone says all the shit, but do I bring that up? No. Boom.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Um, so Tracy actually goes, I wasn't a nanny. I was the intern that occasionally babysat. But I don't have a problem if anybody asks me about it. Like, why do you have a problem with it? And treats it like, because I've been with them a year. Yeah, nobody needs to ask questions, or ask me about my boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:26:58 And Tracy's like, well, people aren't trying to hurt you by asking questions. And Tracy goes, yeah, well, this one points to Margaret. She goes, this one, he said he's abusive, he's abusive. So Margaret's like, listen, I didn't say he's abusive. His ex-girlfriend said he's abusive. And I was happy to remind everyone about that. So then Teresa starts jumping and waving her hands.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Like her car's just broken down, you know, during Armageddon. She's like, my money! She's like, then maybe you were the one who was asking questions, and then these people told him and had a bow. It's like on the fly, I can spears be furious for her and they're not the best. They're not the best. So Mark was like, are you fucking nuts right now? Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Or is that just the flavor of some Snickers cream is still in my mouth? I don't know, I can't tell. March has a raw marshmallow, she's just pouring some cream around her at home. I'm not sure. You're fucking crazy, aren't you? with a Rob Marshmallow, she's just pouring some cream around her at home. I'm fine. I'm fine. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:06 You're fucking crazy, aren't you? Because you put it out there in the whole world, all right? And I'm into some means in love, blah, blah, all right? And I'm protecting my love bubble. And you want to pop my love bubble? It's not going to happen. What's worse, the love bubble or the love tank? I'm still trying to sod.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Love tank? Love tank. Love tank. Because tank requires the inserting something in the biky. What happens if you get a bubble stuck in the tank? I just don't know how somebody who's been incarcerated can be so insistent on being confined to a bubble. Talk about analogy. Someone keep helping her until she comes up with better ones. Yeah. So Teresa's like, I'm outta here. I'm sick.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Oh, for first March, because I didn't want to pop the bubble. Keep your bubble. So Teresa's like, I'm outta here. I'm sick of this shit! Alright, and everybody's name's Zondi's bag, sorry. It's my workout line. Fuck you! Fuck you! Don't forget to tag me on Instagram. Some of us is like, come on, just eat it and then Margaret, she goes, let her half off, half off, half off.
Starting point is 00:29:21 I was like, she gave us a half off, I was so happy. So Teresa starts to leave and she's like, Melissa, we don't even know what she says, because this is another case with a close captioning, literally says, inaudible. They do, they do that a lot in this episode. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And Teresa is like me if I don't find a parking space that's right next to the handicapped one. And then I walk into the old Navy or whoever. The next day I walk like I have run a marathon. She's like, those are my man. She's like, does us huff off from climbing a tree. You know, I was like, I feel you, girl, tree asshole,
Starting point is 00:30:07 whoever fucking Tracy. Yeah. So, yeah, so she's turning off. She's like, I'm a fucking man. Shut the fuck up. So she walks off and then Jen's like, oh, she wasn't in a good mood from the beginning, baby. And Marjquez, I'm eating chicken. I mean, if that's ever a way to dismiss someone,
Starting point is 00:30:30 will I be eating chicken? OK. Testing out different kinds of creamists, OK? All right, ladies. Well, don't forget. This week is the big swarthball tournament from our modesty's hospital. They're great with breast cancer. they did so much for me,
Starting point is 00:30:46 can't wait to help them, hope everybody's excited, to come, it's gonna be a great game. Look how excited I am. I have to tell you, I don't engage in a lot of ASMR, but my version of ASMR is delores saying, my monodies. I just, I love the way she says it. My monodies. My monodies.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Gonna go to my monodies later. So, when she says, don't forget about the softball game, they're like, let's put in a clip. So then we get a clip of Dolores going, my monodies. It's a softball game. It's a Coney Island.
Starting point is 00:31:27 It's a softball game to raise a money for a charity I care about. My monodies is the only hospital in America that exists solely on a roller coaster. Coney Island. Cut back. Softball. Don't forget. So they're all going to go play this softball. And Tracy's like, well, I don't want to be in the same batting mine up as Theresa, because like when she does the practice swings...
Starting point is 00:31:57 Killin' it, Tracy. Killin' it. So now it's time to bounce around. Bounce around the state of New Jersey. So we're gonna... It's got a Melissa's home. Melissa's in Coach Corgas. So, Melissa goes, Joe, it just came.
Starting point is 00:32:16 And he's like, yeah, dude. She's like, the invitations, Joe. The invitations came. That makes two of us! Ah! So Melissa's talking about, like, it's Antonia's sweet 16 coming up. And she's talking about how, like, she always goes over the top for these things. And then when Antonia was born, Melissa went and handed out fish as favors, which I'm assuming it's like a Jesus-y thing, but I just have like images.
Starting point is 00:32:43 No. I'm a no. I'm assuming it's like a Jesus he think, but I just have like images. No, I'm a man. No. Jesus gave you a fish sandwich. She didn't give you a fucking fish in a bag. Who the fuck? I'm just imagining Melissa Gorega going door to door with like a red snapper.
Starting point is 00:32:55 No. Like a salmon. No. People like whoa. She's doing that bullshit where she gives you a, it's like she's a carmy. She's like a fucking carmy. you a, it's like she's a corny. She's like a fucking corny. It's like, does all like cigarette, does cigarette waitresses and the night clubs and the 20s,
Starting point is 00:33:10 but she has just like a stack of fish on her tray. Yeah, it was like Leon Lockins childhood birthday. Except at that one, you were required to bring her little bags of fish. Who does that? Thanks for coming to my party. Who does that? Thanks for coming to my party. You can all talk about how amazing this was at the checkout line at PetSmart while you buy your unplanned fish supplies.
Starting point is 00:33:32 I know. Oh, well, that was a great party. I got, let's see, I got some novelty sunglasses. I got a casingle and oh oh a halibut. You're just so different that you're still thinking of a fucking halibut. I have these parties. These mothers would go, I mean I didn't have them, but I've been to them, you know. These moms would just go out and get little fucking goldfish for everybody, you know? Boyle or a word, you know?
Starting point is 00:34:11 Neighborhood goes on boyle alerts, there's so many fucking fish in that sewer, every parent went home and just... They're not forcing me to be a fish parent. I believe was my mother's actual quote. You're not forcing me to be a fish parent. I believe was my mother's actual quote. So you can't flush that down the toilet. It's a living creature and she said it goes to water. I still don't want to get in lakes. RIP to eat the fish.
Starting point is 00:34:41 So yeah, so Melissa's like, but this is the 16th birthday, so I'm gonna throw a huge party this time. This time everyone's getting a baby, Joe. A baby. I'm gonna find 100 people, we're gonna need a lot of babies. He's like, how about we give them some baby seeds? Hey, there it is. Hey. So they're looking at the invitations and stuff. Yeah, there it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:05 So they're looking at the invitations and stuff, and a joke or a ghost. Oh, man. Boys always get screwed. My sister had a sweet 16, and it was like a wedding. I got nothing. Boys get, the only thing I got was higher pay for the rest of my life.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Boys always get screwed. The worst person to be right now in America. A white hat with sacks is man. No one I'm saying. Man, Gorgah is just so fucking Gorgah every time. And you know there's always empty Kleenex boxes everywhere in that. Everywhere. Like where did this come? Maybe that's giving him too much credit.
Starting point is 00:35:59 So Melissa goes, so Melissa's like, oh my god, Joe. Between the halibut and the Kleenex, we've got a lot of things for, a lot of visuals tonight. So Melissa's like, sorry. I think this shows a little weird place to do it. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:36:24 So Melissa goes, so Teresa came in the worst mood, okay? I mean, she was screaming and yelling and Margaret and Tracy. I thought I was in the twilight zone. Not because it was so crazy, it's house and she's like, No, you're gonna help me, my heart's thump, I'm gonna move on, I'm gonna want you to do a diney and a wing. What's the little one's name again? Adriana. Adriana is like, I'm gonna go up to you, it's me!
Starting point is 00:37:02 She's like, skips upstairs. I don't know her name, but she's my favorite. I think she's so cute. I love that she's finally talking and she's like Audrey from Little Shopper's Forest. So cute. So, I'm gonna be up to you, man. Hey, Mr. Crampon.
Starting point is 00:37:18 So, this show has like over the past seven or eight years done so many montages in this house for any given reason. And they're running out of montages because now Teresa is like, oh, remember this bow, god, remember this bow. And then we get like a bow montage of like, here's a bow. Oh, it's a bow. It's a bow.
Starting point is 00:37:43 Do we need to have like, like, this is your life for the bows? I don't think so. I'm such a single family-free gay person because all I really saw in that were faces I didn't really recognize and older versions of iPhones. I was like, oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:38:00 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This party was during the Six S. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Tearing up. Son- Ass. Yeah, cheering up. So then, those were good times. And then, so Gia's there, and for some reason, I don't know, this made me laugh. She's wearing a t-shirt that said, tennis ball society.
Starting point is 00:38:17 And I just like laughed thinking of like Teresa being like, hey, go join that club. They got tennis balls. You can be in the nice, it's a society of tennis balls. Like, I can imagine Teresa like, that club. They got tennis balls. You can be in the nice, it's a society of tennis balls. Like I can imagine Teresa like aspiring to socialize with tennis balls. So, she is like, yeah, about like moving is gonna be sad.
Starting point is 00:38:34 It's not like we're gonna be like, yeah, we're gonna be like, no. That's a lot. So, she has very upset about this move because she's like, I mean, this is the last thing of my dad that we physically have in the United States. I'm like, oh, well, you always have the flashbacks of him saying, here comes my confidence, bitch, wild fuck bitch.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Just ask Bravo, they'll send them to you. You can always have that. We'll always have that number eight. I know, it's hard missing all the physical parts of your day. I'm sure there's a box of Gorgah or Judeist electronic dildos around this house somewhere. And now that you're clearing out the house,
Starting point is 00:39:17 you might find like maybe the tooth that chipped off when he did a drop kick and the foyer when he was drunk and fell flat on his face. I mean, you never know. There's so many mementos you're going to discover. The driver's license that he lost when he got pulled over for drunk driving. The shredder.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Actually, you know what I always think about? We haven't seen it years that strange, like, coat of arms, like, like a night's armor in the basement. It was Caroline the whole time. Ha ha ha ha. Once she got fired, she bitch just walked out of there. Who's like, Hmm.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Hmm. Hmm. Uh, so, uh, yeah. So there's a thing. They do still have the angel door thing. They do. So it's big angel wings. It's just so, I just feel like it's so murderous of angels.
Starting point is 00:40:10 It's like ding dong. CRACK! It's just like murdering an angel every time. Breaking off an angel's wings. In the doors of the angel. Oh! Every time the doorommings in Angel breaks its back. Can you imagine that angel be like, I'm just being pulled at all times. So let's see.
Starting point is 00:40:39 So we get the memories decorating the Christmas tree. Jude isa burping a couple of times with Melania. The was like, the only clip I mean is Melania shaving his back while mom was at camp. That's all I mean. Just gather up all that dead skin. Oh, that was the cutest clip. So I'm sure he says, I can't, I want to swing in, and I want to loin, I know your guys
Starting point is 00:41:01 is gonna be so camping. And she's ready for this new beginning with Louis, which you know, I think it's just, you know, good for her. I don't always love Teresa, but when you read that a man is abusing his girlfriends in front of the children, yes. Move your children in. I mean, so duh, duh, duh.
Starting point is 00:41:24 I've always wondered how this happens in the lifetime movies and now we can sort of see it, you know? C'mere shows, here comes one right now. So, so, Gia's like, so mom, did anyone have your back a tree scape? She's like, the Laura's dead. So then, we go over to Dolores and Frank, practicing stop on the front yard. Which is basically like, okay, the law, okay, the law, get ready. Come on, the law, okay, I said the law, the law, the law,
Starting point is 00:41:55 the law, where are you, where are you? I'm standing where I was two seconds ago, Frank. The law, pretend that we're still married. I'm coming home before in the morning smelling of sweat and blues. All right, just swing the bad, the Lord. Just swing the bad. So they're practicing for softball because I'm not going to look like an asshole. No.
Starting point is 00:42:20 So he's pitching, is he overhanding? I don't know. Who cares? So he's throwing her the ball, and she's swinging. And then they kind of pan around, and we see that there's like 10 car, they're in the middle of like a parking lot. Can you even get insurance in New Jersey? Like is that a thing?
Starting point is 00:42:44 I feel like flow's like, on-flop. No, we're not doing this. Pack it up. So Delores is like, OK, Frank, that's enough for today. I've had enough of your balls hitting me. Yeah, well, well, last time my balls hit you, Delores. Last time you had balls, Frank. So then we go over to Teresa.
Starting point is 00:43:07 So she's telling Gia about all the drama with her girl still. And she's like, I went in there and I told them off and then I gave them my workout line. And she is like, yeah, give for you, mom. Yeah, that's great, mom. She's like, yeah, I had to do this because the only time I was seeing them before the softball game. Because she basically wants them to all have their hot pants before they do that. My monity is charity game. Why?
Starting point is 00:43:35 Because she's going to be selling her fucking line at the breast cancer charity. Who does that? Who does that? Who does that? No, guys, guys, it's fine, because some of the proceeds are going to charity. OK. OK. Some get the billboards of me and Gia Bill.
Starting point is 00:43:58 And then she goes, you know, built up at Kinkos. We're going to a breast cancer car. It's like, what are you doing? And this is the danger with having the real house so I have ultimate girls' trip because you never know what ideas are going to come back with. And Teresa goes, you know, I supported my regular stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:14 We're supporting women. We're women for women, right? Women support honor women. How did it go again? Mm-hmm. So then Melissa's telling Joe, I mean, she gave us his workout clothes. I think we're supposed to wear them.
Starting point is 00:44:30 And everybody's just worried because now's the baseball game. And who's gonna wear Theresa leggings? Yeah. I mean, okay. Oh, that's the next segment. I'm sure you all watched this episode and thought, God, I can't wait to go to a comedy show about anorexia. This is gonna be purely tasteful.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Now, I have a general rule. I do not make fun of anyone's ED by my own, okay? So, we're gonna go ahead and just skip it. Basically our mindset on this is basically So Jackie is getting help you know good for her bless her It was great scene. It was a great scene. It was a good scene. Not a funny scene, but it was a great scene. Yeah, it was such a great movie scene.
Starting point is 00:45:29 It was such a great movie scene. One of the parts is she's talking about how she's noticing that her, well, Evan pointed out that her kids are noticing now because she hasn't ever eaten my ice cream with them, and which is weird to the kids, right? And that's what, that's one of those scenes in something where I finally get it. I'm like, this bitch had my head ice cream in 20 years. This is serious. Like I finally, it took them back for me to finally get the gravity. Yeah. That poor thing. Yeah, I was also like, I was also just struck because these were like the scene with Evan was also really very kind very beautiful.
Starting point is 00:46:05 The way he was really supporting her and there for her, she was bearing her soul. He's great, he's wonderful. But I was like, I don't know if anyone here watches Big Brother, but they were playing the sad music from Big Brother during the scene. And I'm like, you're really cheapening this moment for me. Which is a big thing to do on the real house of New Jersey. Anyway, moving on, moving on. So now, here's a fun depressing scene.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Jim and Bill date night. Yes, yes. I love this couple. This is great. I'm so glad they're on the show, and I'm loving. I mean, you know, you don't want someone to go through that, I guess. But, um, it's just they both cracked me up so much.
Starting point is 00:46:58 So they go to this romantic place, the host, or host, who cares? I'm not going to gender the host. Wow, wow. Okay, the host. The host. The analogy, who cares? I'm not gonna gender the host. Wow, wow, okay, the host. The host. Okay, relax. The host. The host seats them in a table, all the way at the end of the patio.
Starting point is 00:47:15 That is literally on the rocks. It is literally on the rocks. For their talk about marriage scene. All right, you know what? Visual metaphors, I mean, if we can't even now, just visual metaphors are already gonna be way too much. So I like they pull up, they pull up and Bill goes, here we go.
Starting point is 00:47:35 Date night 101. So waiter comes over and Jen orders a margarita and Bill's like, oh, I have an old fashioned, please. Marriage. You know, a fashion marriage. And Jen's like, you know, maybe we've been going through some hard times, but we're just having an adding with family.
Starting point is 00:48:00 It was so amazing. And then we see a clip of Jen and Bill and the kids all in this, I don't know, this car cost more than my life. I can tell you that. Whatever the fuck the car is. And one of the kids squeaks on the seats. And he's like, coming out, it sounds like a fart. And she's like, sounds like when you go out to the bill.
Starting point is 00:48:20 And then it cuts back. And she's like, do I really want to let that go? Yeah. Yeah, she's like, she's like, do I really want to let that go? Yeah, she's like, she's like, Bill took a weekend, spent a weekend with the family for the first time in 10 years. And I realized,
Starting point is 00:48:33 this is special baby! So, um, let's see. So, Jen, we know that Jen is going to go there because Jen has a vein popping out of her forehead. Like she's just ready. You know she's been in the bathroom
Starting point is 00:48:50 with those little air-long bottles like, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. Before they might, because she looks like she's about to pounce, right? So they get their her veins pumping and Bill knows too, because he's like, mm, mm, mm, mm. because he's like, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, mister. And he's like, mm, I like the no drinking Jennifer. I also like the no talking Jennifer, but that's a different issue.
Starting point is 00:49:32 But if that should like the drinking Jennifer. I don't like the drinking buffing all over my car, Jennifer. I like drinking Jennifer with drinking vacuuming Jennifer. Love that Jennifer Jennifer what a girl So her veins like pop pop pop pop and she's replaced the depression scrunchy. It's a very fancy nice That's a Depression yeah depression hair clip like right here. It's just like I'm sad Says my beret.
Starting point is 00:50:06 Oh, I have another. I literally saw a woman on the plane today, and she was like, she coiled her hair very slowly, and put a big clip in it, and I was like, damn, she is very depressed right now. True story. I literally had that thought process, and I was like, what is this bot guy doing to me?
Starting point is 00:50:25 So, Jim's like, speaking of the girls, I know if I told you what happened to tree scape. Well, hopefully you called the police, sounds dangerous. No, she didn't treat him escape. She's not back in jail, Bill. Anyway, the point is, Melissa said she started for charge and at me, I said I'm sorry for calling the husband to cook, and then to Lawrence is having to cherry to think. He's like, very long sentence.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Excuse me, waitress, may I order a comma? Thank you. comma. By the way, is it me? I don't seem to remember Melissa apologizing for charging Jennifer right I feel like Jennifer added that in she's like she said so I've been a bitch for all these years and she said she knew she was a bitch no one likes her and she just and she owns it now she owns it she's the least favorite person in the entire group baby such a wonderful moment
Starting point is 00:51:20 for her when the truth Melissa was like all right you're a victim and I'm gonna look like a total dick if I'm a dick to you. So I'm gonna be nice to you for two weeks. You got a bitch, she's like, thanks, Melissa. So, Bill's like, well, you know, I don't know about going to softball, you know. I have certain feelings about what took place. When the guys start hurting my wife, they better know it back off.
Starting point is 00:51:47 No. And Jen's mad now that he won't come to this awful. Yeah. Now, you can't ask him to get invested and then be pissed that he's still invested when you're just like, Fuckin' I'm not mad anymore. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Now, she wants them to, well, because she's like, she's basically like, you know, beyond the TV show, so we're still on the show. So she's like, anyway, listen, the thing that you and I have been going through, it's super-sits! Anything that is going on with me and the girls,
Starting point is 00:52:17 you know what, out of this, she's coming up 19 years, it'll be 20 years since the day we first met and thought, one year since the day we first had like any trouble. And when she said that, you know she's starting 20 years since the day we first met and thought, one year since the day we first had like in each other. And when she says that, you know she's starting because she's had a couple drinks and she goes, that's gonna be a 19-danother street.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Mm. Mm. That's drunk mad gen. She thrust her chest forward and her head back and kind of like I was like oh, oh, she's starting She's starting You know the last Ronnie, I think the last 19 year anniversary that was like highlighted on Bravo
Starting point is 00:53:00 I think that was Ramona and Mario Right? What? We've been together for 19 years. Sort of like mavens from marriage, okay? I think Jan and Bill are going to stay together that day. Yeah, they will. 100% I think they will.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Yeah, either, too. I mean, they've already stayed together. They, I didn't say they should. It's not booing me. I said, I think they will. God, you guys like like, ah, boo. Did you use an analogy? So, well, this is what you always want to hear.
Starting point is 00:53:31 When your significant author is saying, wow, we're 19 years. Wow, we've been together 19 years and Bill goes, hmm, 20 long years. And Jim's not playing. She's like, you think we're going to make it another 19 bail? Because at this point, if anything happens, I get half. Just fan. Yes.
Starting point is 00:53:56 And that right there is why they will stay together. She's like, oh hell no. So good. So drunk Jen is officially upon us. And you know in an episode where we're talking about addictions and recoveries and this and that. Welcome back girl. Welcome. And now she's just like, you know, he's kind of like, oh, you know, it's a little bit hard to walk back from saying something like that. So if you started sitting here and counting the last 19 years, how each person had unhappy moments, you know, you vomiting in my car, me cheating on you while you were pregnant, not helping the situation.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Why, just last episode, there were Dorito crumbs on the outdoor carpet. I think I handled that quite nicely. Rikigo tit for tad for years. So she's like, , Dev, let's not just be shit and giggle, Zizibar. Merit's his work. Pantin, poppy human life down onto a table, punch out. Punch in, Rapier has been tearing back after a stinky trip to the walk around. Punch out, where's my fucking union? That's what I want to know, baby.
Starting point is 00:55:13 OK. I'm sorry. He's like, hmm, I thought this was going to be more of a campy evening. So she's like, hmm, I thought this was gonna be more of a campy evening. So she's like, she starts talking about her mom and how her mom, she picked up my mom, and she even talked about the fascist matter, Margaret. Oh man, you saw how angry I was, you should have seen my mother had happened, you know, she's a mother, you too, because I'm drunk.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Now she's just going to start screaming at everything. She's letting it all out. Well, she's basically saying, like, I go to pick up my mother who's just found out that you cheated on my ass 10 years ago. And she's not even mad at you. She's mad at fucking marred for saying something about it. Why the fuck isn't she mad at you? Bill's like, mm, right, right. Jen's fucking mom is a piece of work. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:56:13 So Bill, she's going off now, right? So she's like, how many in the marriage if one person's working on a grave? If two people are working on it, even better, baby. And he's just like... It's a small rock bill. I can see you get up there. Listen, you cheat on me. I was pregnant. I got three small children, okay? Three small children home. I'll get why you had none of the bill.
Starting point is 00:56:42 So she's like... I can see you, David, cop a deal. Get up. So she's like, look, she tells us, I mean, I feel good. I didn't hold back. I said, what time for mine? And then it just cuts to Bill doing his napkin prop work. All season, Bill, when he doesn't approve,
Starting point is 00:57:02 he just gets his napkin. He's like, just starts padded. mm-hmm mm-hmm And she goes, she goes, you know, I see my friends that are going through divorces and I don't want to go to that because you know, if one person checks out, then it's going downhill I'm like, you want to look at your husband with an napkin over there? He's like, you want to look at your husband with an napkin over there? He's like, hmm.
Starting point is 00:57:27 So I'm like, oh my god, you guys, I have squirmed in my seat so much. My hoodie is in my bed. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Geez. These seats have a little sink down. I'm a big person. I'm like half cross-legged over here.
Starting point is 00:57:39 It's like Buddha giving you the real housewife. Yeah. The least peaceful Buddha ever. Buddha before he learned meditation. I'm just a fat guy trying to sit by a fucking tree at this point. So then we got a marchist house. And yeah, no, go ahead, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:57:58 No, I was just gonna say it was just really, really mean of Bravo because then they had a Briar's ice cream commercial. I was like, that's not right, bravo. Bravo's commercials are pretty oddly time. I have to say. That's not cool. Yeah, so then we go to Marjord's house and she's outside with her dog trying to make the dog pee. And it's just so hard. She's like, you never pee.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Come on, Bella. You know what, Bella? You're running. Don't try to run. You're not a runner, Bella. Come on, Bella. You're not a runner, Bella. Where are you going to go? to run. You're not a runner, Bella. Come on, Bella. You're not a runner, Bella. Where are you going to go? Come on. You're like a camel with all this water in you. That was an analogy, Bella.
Starting point is 00:58:30 It was an analogy, OK? So she goes in, she's like, Lexie, hi. Welcome to work. The dog won't pee. Lexie's like, well, yes, a tail on. Go. In here, it should be all over the ground. Just put her down on the ground mine
Starting point is 00:58:51 She's like well, I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. We have so much to do okay? It's much senior's birthday. It's coming up and we're gonna have a party at the Manor okay, it's gonna be at the manor the manor fucking New Jersey I'm sure I don't even know what the matter is, but I'm already scared. How are you going to have a place called the manor when half this cast don't even have any? Woo! I'm sorry, that was a dead joke. That's a dead joke. That's a dead joke. I get it.
Starting point is 00:59:14 But Teresa had a place called the manor. I'm sure. So this is... Everything's plastic. You know. So this is the scene where Margaret sort of launches her new really clunky way of gossiping. She brings up a subject and then she goes, oh speaking of. And so she goes, she goes, oh so meanwhile we have a charity baseball game coming.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Oh speaking of the charity baseball game. Do you want to hear about this text? I just love how she says speaking of it as if they'd all been talking about it for 10 minutes. You know what, we're having that party for modcing, yeah. And we have to get that violinist for the man. Speaking of, Teresa has a workout line now. You want to read the text? What? How did you go from violinist to Teresa's spanks or whatever they are. Yeah. So this is Teresa's text. Hi, ladies. Last week when we went again, I gave Atlantic wear from my collaboration with Electric Yoga.
Starting point is 01:00:15 I tried to plug it in, it didn't work. Ever got less, would it be possible to wear the shorts, even if you can bring your own batteries to a softball game, as I'm gonna say, the items we wear at the game? I know we will be able to raise more, we have all of you be my stunning models, you're all bitches by the way. Electric yoga, fucking fantastic, I'll finally go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So then she calls Tracy, and she's like, you know what, speaking of that violinist, you know it would be really good caveat.
Starting point is 01:01:07 Speaking of calling Tracy, Tracy hides me mods. Speaking of, did you get that text from Teresa? Tracy's like, I did, which is remarkable, because I'm basically a ficus tree, so it's amazing I can handle any kind of cell phone. I don't have opposable thumbs, and I found a way to read that. I had to sit there in the corner and ask Tiki for three days to open up my phone for many finally did it by accident but it still worked.
Starting point is 01:01:33 So Marga's like, well you know I'm not going to wear her workout clothes because she was mean to us. So if I wear it it's like saying, okay it's okay how you treat me and I'm just going to do this so you like me and I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna take a page out of Louis's book. How is she gonna learn? Ha! That was more of a metaphor, the page out of a book.
Starting point is 01:01:56 It was a metaphor, not an analogy, so I didn't feel like I had to preface it, okay? God, taking a page out of Louis's actual book. Don't do that. Two ears. Ha ha ha ha ha. They never finishes. Two ears, one mouth. There's not, not there.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Two ears. Someone took a page out of this book, Teresa. Two ears, one mouth. Will you marry me if you will? Please, I love to be with you in my wife. Please, it's like every page is just him asking to get married. I like when Marge is, and look, I know that Marge is super controversed this year, and there's a lot of tree huggers and all
Starting point is 01:02:37 of that, but I really love when Marge gets bitty like this, and then does her evil smile-shimmy thing, where she's like yeah otherwise she can learn oh good pal I just peed so now this was a very actually this is a very exciting moment for me because I think in the history of all New Jersey episodes our transitional music has always been this sort of mandolin it's sort of a tie and things like But out of nowhere we got a selling sunset style song from Trixie Monaco Yeah right in the middle of New Jersey for the first time ever I'm ever. I'm bombs away. I'm bombs away.
Starting point is 01:03:23 I'm bombs away. I'm bombs away. I'm bombs away. I'm bombs away. Now, this was, I'm like, I'm excited. That was a tricky, monical song. But also, I feel like when in New Jersey, I don't know if we need lyrics like, I live where I'm going, locked and now I'm loaded, nothing's standing my way.
Starting point is 01:03:42 Like, you know what, you're singing about bringing a gun somewhere. And you think bombs. That's a lot of violence for when song. It's a lot. They really got to sort of do the selling sunset thing. I'm like, I'm a boss bitch. I'm a boss. I walk on sidewalks because I'm a boss.
Starting point is 01:03:58 And I have shoes, boss, boss, boss. Or I have money and things all shoddy, boss, bitch. Boss, bitch. I'll show you how to do it. if you want to see how to do it But you have to use your eyes you have eyes. I have eyes balls bitch Trixi Manacotti cold So we go to the glamorous Coney Island and glamorous Coney Island.
Starting point is 01:04:32 And as someone who's been, can I just say this is the first time I've ever seen a TV show use a filter to make a location look less yellow. Coney Island looks seepia when you go there. It looks seepia. But on real housewives of New Jersey, it's clear as day So they're at they're at this stadium that my mononies field or whatever it's called and it's really cool I mean they've sold like a like a shit ton of tickets to everyone like it's pretty much like a stadium of Albee and Chris manzo doppelgangers It's just like all the manzo brothers. It really is. It looks like a bear party. Whenever a Jersey shows all like the normal people of the town, every guy there is a gay bear. It's the weirdest thing. I love it. I've never felt so at home. I was just sort of scanning the walls
Starting point is 01:05:22 of sponsors to see if there was anything from cafes, but I didn't see anything There wasn't one but there was one that said send in the clowns And then a huge billboard of Teresa and Gia up there like back-to-back I leggings Up in like the top tier. They're up in the corner. Glad we're here to support guys. Oh, also talking, tell people to shut up, because I shouldn't, because people are like, Ronnie, it's so awkward when you yell at people
Starting point is 01:05:51 to shut the fuck up from the stage. So, you guys do it. You guys, feel free, you guys do it. Now, we know that I can get punched on the stage these days. Yes. Yes. You guys do it. Yes. You guys do it. Yes.
Starting point is 01:06:06 You guys go ahead. Yes. It's all speculation. The guy's like, the Lord's, this thing is great. We just got $125,000 donation from Cross River Bank. Which river? It's a bank, the Lord's. I need to know which river, like you need to be specific.
Starting point is 01:06:24 You can't just tell somebody to cross a fucking river. Like, what are we doing here? I'm gonna have a charity on people who don't understand how to name a bank. All right, I'm gonna need some work here. Dolores, it's not too vivid. It's one vivid, that's very angry, cross-rhythm, okay? I actually, my high school is in a town called Cross River,
Starting point is 01:06:41 so how about that? Oh! I mean, that's really like, who cares, right? So Frank sees all the jerseys, they have all their names on them, and he's like, whoa, what are these names of these shirts? This is crazy! Whoa, I see two jolt-eye shirts. What is G.S. coming?
Starting point is 01:07:00 Unless Joe's coming back, huh? If anyone could steal the base, it's that fucker. All right. So yeah, because they're all in the locker rooms, getting change and everything. And they're all sort of gathering. And they're all saying, how to not accept it, see Teresa. Okay, no one's excited to see Teresa.
Starting point is 01:07:19 So there's sort of like a kibbet thing a little bit. We find out about Dolores's mom, Val. She's okay. She's at home. She was Dolores's mom, Val. She's okay. She's at home. She was depressed at the hospital, but now she's home and she's very cookie. She feels cookie. She feels cookie right now.
Starting point is 01:07:33 So the guys are bumping chest and then the lady start gossiping about Teresa. And Dolores was like, where's Trey? And Marid says, you know what, by the way, I was gonna go to a speaking up, but I didn't say anything before this, just in case anyone's wondering why that was an awkward transition.
Starting point is 01:07:49 So someone give me a noun, give me a noun, someone give me a noun. Rectangle, okay, speaking of rectangles, okay, there we go. Go on, continue, go to me. She's like, you know what, by the way, who thinks it's weird that Teresa wants us to wear her brand at its charity? And Jackie's like, I know what, by the way, who thinks it's weird? The Teresa wants us to wear her brand and its charity. And Jackie's like, I'm not doing that.
Starting point is 01:08:08 Especially if it's someone trying to dig up information to ruin my life again. Like who does that? And they're like, we're not wearing this. And so Dolores is like, well, you know what, I was going to, but the pants were heavy, so she's gonna bring me short so we'll see. The most supportive one Dolores who ends up of course wearing what she's given to wear. Yeah just told America that your pants are heavy.
Starting point is 01:08:35 Heavy pants. Dolores. So Teresa comes in with Gia and Louis too and so Teresa is like, hi guys! I brought stuff if you guys want it! It's my workout line! And Marra goes, we're good. We're good. Oh yeah, I ain't gonna say it like that when, come on. Yeah, yeah, we're good. So then Gia's like, hold on, I've been waiting 21 years to do this.
Starting point is 01:09:03 So then Gia's like, hold on, I've been waiting 21 years to do this. Tankface, for people listening at home, Tankface. She has such a mean girl high school way too. She looks at Marge and she goes, she's swiping her phone and she body checks her. Did you catch that? Yeah. She was like, this one. Samargrin sort of pulls back, but she was like, this one. Samara Gritzer, she sort of pulls back, but she's like,
Starting point is 01:09:28 no, I mean, we're at a charity event. It's a good, but good. So Gia's just like leans and she's like,. What does it mean? Name two. One thing. I'll say name two. Because I'm so glad we're on the same page with that because that was my first thought. Just when.
Starting point is 01:09:53 I mean, she shows up to work to film something, but like when is Teresa ever? Teresa. And I say name two because on these shows, you can always think of one thing, right? She did go to Marge's book thing, but I can't think of another. And then tomorrow, I always think of one thing, right? Like, she did go to Marge's book thing, but I can't think of another. And then tomorrow, I'll think of something else,
Starting point is 01:10:08 but not remember the Marge's book thing. Listen, this season Teresa has sportswear. Last year was like thigh braiders. The year before that, I don't know. She was bodybuilding. Every year, she's got something that everyone has to schlep to. And you know what, I think that you can have a pass on the hot pants for one afternoon at my mononies, okay?
Starting point is 01:10:29 You know what, I woke up today and I was like, I want to have like a town hall meeting moment about hot pants and I just had it felt great. So, Marge is kind of doing that lip laugh where she's like, So, Marge is kind of doing that lip laugh where she's like, mm-hmm. It's time to get the cilantro out of the cheese. But it's like a smiling cilantro pulse. Like, mm-hmm. I got the cilantro back. And she just kind of stares her down like,
Starting point is 01:10:56 how do I deal with this? If I tell this girl, she's a little bitch and she's shut a fucking mouth. And people are gonna say that I'm going for someone's children. How do I deal with this? I'm like, like that. You're doing great. You're doing great.
Starting point is 01:11:14 But you'll have the cilantro girl. That's like the grilling on the show. Like, I'm gonna play out the ear, and the cilantro comes out. But you know what, she's right, though. She's basically like, I wish that, you know, I love this girl, and I wish that Teresa said listen to like to to Gia like listen this is an issue between us stay out of it. Yeah right. Teresa was just having a scene amping Gia up for this
Starting point is 01:11:35 scene like nobody supports me. So then they're in the bathroom changing and Gia's like oh Margaret is such a bitch. And Theresa goes, to you, to you. So you already know this is gonna be like the next half of the season is like, well, you are a bitch to my daughter. You said she was doing cocaine, this is. She's just gonna mix it all up now. Girl, you know, she walked into that bathroom when I was like,
Starting point is 01:12:01 hmm. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, and the clothes captioning comes through again. to that bathroom when I was like, hmm. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Hmm? Hmm? Uh, yeah, and the close captioning comes through again because I gave us another indistinct because Gia goes in there and she goes, Margaret was just such a indistinct.
Starting point is 01:12:16 Ha ha ha ha ha. Like, why are you saving her? She just went in and said, Margaret, such a fucking bitch. Like, that's what she said. Also, I just have to mention Louie cracks me up. I was obviously at the airport and I saw a bomb sniffing dog. And I always thought they were sniffing for drugs. Do you know how many bullets I have sweated over the years thinking, what do I have in here?
Starting point is 01:12:40 This touched something, you know? So finally today I was like, what are they sniffing for? Because those dogs don't give a shit, they come right up to you. They're like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Fucker, it sounds like these. Yeah, totally. So I asked and they said, but that is Louie
Starting point is 01:12:55 when he comes into a room. That's him. He's like, he's trying to sniff out romantic sprulls. You got a scroll in there? He's trying to sniff out romantic scrolls. You got a scroll in there? So back to Terry, so she of course loves it, gee, I did this, you know? She's like, yeah, yeah, it's finally someone got my back
Starting point is 01:13:16 and it's my daughter. Maybe Melissa could take some lessons. Ehh. Just funny, the idea of anyone taking lessons on this show. So, Dolores decides she's like, listen, I know some people aren't happy with Teresa. We've all got our own relationships with Teresa. I want peace today. I'm wearing heavy shorts.
Starting point is 01:13:39 And Melissa's gonna do it. She's not the one who have a war over leggings. I'm like, please have a war over leggings. That's like my favorite kind of war. I'm very happy to announce Jennifer shows up in happiness French Braids. Yes. I find the maid at Mr. I took a hundred wrong turns.
Starting point is 01:13:59 I'm just imagining her just a mess on the highway. Like doing like U-turns on the Arizona narrows bridge. So then, Gia and Teresa gather around her. What do you call it when it's just two people? Who cares? So they go up to her and like, oh my god, you look so cute in the leggings. Yeah, you like sound non-mining. Those leggings look so good on you.
Starting point is 01:14:24 You're such not a fucking bitch. I'm distinct, I'm so non-many. Oh, leggings look so good on you. You're such not a fucking bitch. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. So Jen tells us, you know, or she tells them, you know, Bill didn't want to come today. He also didn't want to attend. You know, I was hoping he would change his mind and make things right for the guys. Because it kind of owes me one, just saying,
Starting point is 01:14:43 I'm like, this is the favor you want, each item on you and the favor that you want is for them to come to the sad and violent baseball game. Girl, get like a cruise ship out of that or something. I'd be building on a 19th and 20th mother fucking bathroom in that house. That was me, both of them primaries. So we get to baseball and then this is just a lot of baseball. Woo, it's wacky
Starting point is 01:15:11 And it is it's fun to watch So Joe of course takes his jersey that was just given to him by this charity and cuts off the sleeves He's like Makes me look taller. There he is. There they are, the guns. I heard that song, I had to bring my guns, I ran. Locked and loaded, and...
Starting point is 01:15:38 I think Jennifer's wearing like a Catrice helmet because she has her new nose. I mean, I kind of think that if she's that what it is. I personally think that if she just went massless and just slid into second, it might have proved things. I don't know. Oh. That's it.
Starting point is 01:15:54 And it's meaning there's always room for improvement in our lives. So rude. This is just so rude. I am so lame that I was like, they got her a special helmet. Wow. My mom brought it for me
Starting point is 01:16:09 That makes sense it catches where that So yeah, it's like this cage over her face So Frank's like guys guys guys Tiny man big arms come over here. Let's look Skies, Skies, tiny man big arms. Come over here, let's go up. So, what's up with Bill? He doesn't really want to surgery, right? He just doesn't want to talk to us.
Starting point is 01:16:30 I mean, he's really weird. I've texted Bill, have it shit, Skies, I think. All right, and I get back to these short responses. Usually, I get a... Mm-hmm. No, I'm just getting two ends. Yeah. Fuck of that.
Starting point is 01:16:44 Oy, son. Oy, son. Oy, son's these weird things like, you up, uh, looking, I don't get it. I don't get it. And, and, and, and for him. What you want, I can't read this short hand. You want candy? You want candy? You want the want? I can't read this short hand. You want candies? You want candies? You want the ones that pee on the side?
Starting point is 01:17:07 I don't know. Oh, the law. So then the ladies are all making their baseball jokes. You know, a march is like, you know, but I don't know much about baseball. A Facebook. Why was I going to say that? Speaking of.
Starting point is 01:17:24 I don't know much about baseball. You know, I only know how to get to home base if you know what I mean. Actually on this show, I don't think they know what they mean. She means. Because then we see to like, someone runs, someone scores, and she's goes, Today's gonna touch down. And Joe's like, hey, come on, you don't know what a touchdown is, ring. Don't you remember the basement?
Starting point is 01:17:50 You agree, he goes, he goes, hey, you grew up with a brother who played football and you're not your mother, you suck on me. Touch her down a Joe like orgah. That's a downer. Touch her down a Joe like orgah. This is also like a fun scene where Melissa just runs around and squeals, makes me crazy. So then Jackie kind of sucks it first, right? And she's like, I mean, I was sporting in high school, but I don't know what happened
Starting point is 01:18:27 to me. Everyone knows Jackie doesn't like balls in her face. I was varsity at Manala Pan High School. Got between Manala Pan and Tana Fly. I just love saying these town names. So then Frank pulls Joe over alone. Any, any, any. Oh, man, man interrupts hard.
Starting point is 01:18:44 Before that happens, Jackie says something that like she is gonna say She says something that she is going to get She's gonna wake up and there's gonna be a goat cheese ball in her bed because she goes You know what I am I'm LVP least valuable player Darling don't use those initials and theme! Well I'm sorry I would respond to that negativity with some quit but I'm busy and Paris at my new restaurant! Swinging back on a big pendulum by Nicolaine. Kyle, Rina, Erica and Dread are so mad
Starting point is 01:19:30 that they never thought of Lee's Bible player. Like, damn it. So the announcer whose name shockingly is Joe. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. It's like, all right, up next to eat us liver with some fava beans and a nice key auntie, Jennifer Aiden. So Jennifer comes out in her helmet and she's gonna bat, you know, and everyone's like, oh my god, Jennifer. Don't turn around, turn around, turn around. She hits the fucking ball, like she hits it. She hits it and she slides into first, but way before first.
Starting point is 01:20:07 On her face. I mean, right. It's like she was playing wipe out, but on level ground. God, I'm not there. Don't go on level grounds. God, and that's our don't don't don't to commercial So then we find out the reason why she's our child on accident Oh, it's fine. Where the fuck am I in this? They're playing baseball. Yeah, that's all that's all it is
Starting point is 01:20:39 Joe says then Joe says then Frank says then Frankie says then Joe Frankie, then Frankie, then you cannot get lost in these notes. This is not the show that get lost. So the reason why she fell over is because she's wearing lipotens. Lipotens. Lipotens. She has, thank God I have that helmet. That's libertarian mistake.
Starting point is 01:20:58 So the guys do shots on the field and everyone's like, oh my God, are the boys doing shots? And then we get another tricksy, manacodic clackle, manacodical song and this one goes, well Come in, I should like a title with, and I could title with. Well good, cause the stadium was on fire in the last song. Ha ha ha ha. Matt, you could just drown some people. We get a picture of her song on this cell. Yes, they have a baseball monitor. I have to say I am a sucker for a baseball montage
Starting point is 01:21:38 and turns out even one in the real house was in New Jersey. I was in it. I was like, they're catching balls. They're coming from behind. You know, it's exciting. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:21:50 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:21:58 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, That's like, that's great. Game today playing baseball. Great game today.
Starting point is 01:22:08 Oh, my shoulder. Oh. You need a massage. Oh, my guess. You lost. That is the most times in a row I've ever called any kind. I was excited. So I was like, I've ever called any kind of style of like
Starting point is 01:22:31 Makes you wonder what Shane Kio is up to oh Now there's a baseball thing Probably get it now that's why I like Baseball was my dream and it's over now Heart heart horn had premium 99 to my fine, I'm finally in, I'm finally in. So Marge is up to bat and she's like, and she's on the on deck, and she's sort of like, sort of not even swinging the back,
Starting point is 01:22:58 ball, warming up, and Teresa looks at her and goes, what if she heard my leg and done? Her ass wouldn't jiggle so much, and she would hate the ball. Teresa's performance enhancing baseball leggings. So she's yelling it, you know, and like laughing, and she's like, yeah, I mean, look at you.
Starting point is 01:23:20 And then she turns to Gio around and starts like spanking her ass. She's like, yeah, look at that ass, I don't get all in. And then she turns Gia around and starts like spanking her ass She's 20 like she's fucking 20. Yeah So the Margaret hits the ball anyway, she actually hits the ball and then Teresa she hits the ball She starts running and then Teresa Teresa, all of a sudden, who called the bell home run, a touchdown, is like, it's a foul, it's a foul. Oh my God, I don't wanna watch right away, fuck her. So then Tracy immediately marches over to March,
Starting point is 01:23:54 after March is done, and she's like, um, Teresa was just yelling that, you know, if you were wearing her liking, that you're asked what, you're really boying me, you know, but you lost me a raw marshmallows. So speed it up. Speed it up, Tracy. So she's like, yeah, she called your ass jiggly.
Starting point is 01:24:11 She just, my ass jiggles. My ass could jiggle all day long. What the fuck do I care? It jiggles. It's what it does. What? What? What?
Starting point is 01:24:19 What? Yeah, she's like, I don't see her hitting so fucking fabulous, okay? I would kill for my ass to jiggle. I don't think my ass does anything. My ass doesn't jiggle, it just puckers. It's like... My butt's like my face whenever I walk into a new room.
Starting point is 01:24:37 I'm just like... Ha ha ha ha. Oh, I'm getting drunky's down there. So... Okay, okay, okay, okay, alright. Alright, speaking of silence. So then Tiki Barber. So that's Tiki Barber. Tiki Barber.
Starting point is 01:25:03 Black hair, oh Tiki Barber. Tiki Barber. Tiki Barber. So that's Tiki Barber. That's Tiki Barber. That's Tiki Barber. That's Tiki Barber. Tiki Barber. Tiki Barber. So he starts doing this thing with Louis. He starts taping up Louis' ankles. And Teresa comes over and goes, hey, maybe we should take Tiki's mail because you ask him a lot of questions, huh? Yeah, you ask questions, that's all funny.
Starting point is 01:25:25 So she starts taping up his chest and like being really loving towards Tee. Like giving him shit, but also like joking. Oh my God, I love people with my hands. And Tracy's like, why the fuck is she being nice to Tee-Tee when he's the one who is asking the questions in the first place? What the hell? Exactly. exactly. He's a man.
Starting point is 01:25:47 Yes. Erie. This is Teresa. I mean, it's a man. He's famous. He's rich and he's famous. Yeah, there's her. Yeah, it makes me mad.
Starting point is 01:25:56 She made us really take Tracy's side this episode. That's not cool. So anyway, so the baseball game sort of culminates with Tiki making actually a very impressive catch. I was actually like, I literally was like, wow, I basically turned into Shannon Maduro. I was like, David, what? I don't seem to even catch any balls for me. That was impressive.
Starting point is 01:26:21 It was kind of cheating to have Tiki Barber come in at the end and beat the people fighting for breast cancer. I know. It was just me. So, I mean, I know that he didn't, I don't know what he played really. I'm not even going to finish his sentence. I have no idea. I just know that he's famous for his sport. So, basically, they raised over 200,000, which is pretty impressive. Thank you, Cross River.
Starting point is 01:26:48 Thank you. It was very cool. And Jennifer's main concern is now getting Bill back with the guys. She's like, you know, I like this feeling. Not only do they want me here, but I feel like I belong with my crazy mask, you know. And I'm hoping that once Bill hears this, he'll feel more comfortable about coming back to the group. Bill's like, did somebody say something about coming and back? Next time I'm going to have slides with Miniseries. It's my birthday! He broke my heart when you said you quit. It's like you gave up on life.
Starting point is 01:27:27 I don't want to leave this house, Mom. It's the only memories we got it, dear. Hey, Bill. We're friends, Bill. Hmm? Fuck you. I'm not bringing that to the end of the world. Thank you, Denver. You guys are the world. Thank you, Debra. You guys are always awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you guys so much.
Starting point is 01:27:50 Thank you, Debra. Love you, Prasees. Thank you for being here. Good night, everyone. Love you, family. Bye, guys. Love you. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors.
Starting point is 01:28:05 Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Courtney's amazing, Shadel. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-oals, Dan-o-C, Dan-o-Doo. Aaron McNick-o-Lis, she don't miss no trick-o-Lis. Hava Nagila Weber. Jamie, she has no less name-y.
Starting point is 01:28:24 Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Jess saying, okay. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Wee McLevin, Karen McLevin. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger. She's our queen, Marie Levine. Let's give a Kissarino to Lisa Lino.
Starting point is 01:28:43 There ain't no problem that Sarah Salvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Beaches. Beaches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. Always the wiser is Allison Weasler. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She's cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle.
Starting point is 01:29:01 Erica, 500 days of summers. The incredible edible Matthewsisters. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. My favorite Murto, Karen McMurdo. No one makes us feel well like Megan Cap seawall. Paging page mills, paging page mills. Give him hell, Miss Noelle.
Starting point is 01:29:21 She leaves us in stitches, it's Catherine Taylor. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Kristen, the Ruby Rubano. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We want to hang with Liz Lang. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Let's take off with Tamela Plane.
Starting point is 01:29:41 She ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar. We love you guys. off with Tamela Plane. by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.

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