Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Attack of The Gorganderthal

Episode Date: April 30, 2021

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo)* Dolores lets that bonehead Joe Gorga have it on this week's Real Housewives of New Jersey, and news of Teresa's mystery man spreads. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**We're doing a live show to celebrate the premiere of RHONY! May 6 at 6PM Pacific 9PM Eastern. Get tickets at https://onlocationlive/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one.

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I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Corruptions. A podcast for all that crap. We just left talk back. I'm Yo, Braves, Guy. I'm Ronnie, and that's Savannah over there. Hi, Bane. Hi, what's going on? Hi, I can squeeze your little face.

Because we're on crap and it's on demand today, which means you can be watching this on Patreon. If you're signed up at the crap and it's on demand. That's a guy. Also, we have our live show covering the Real Housewives of New York season premiere on May 6th. You can get your tickets at on location live, slash watch what crap ends,

or find the ticket link at watchwhatcrapans.com, as usual. So to celebrate, we are doing a 10-day countdown of our top 10 underrated Real Housewives of New York cast members, you can vote. We each have an opinion each day, and you can go vote for who's right or wrong on our Instagram, which is at Watch What Crapins. And then we'll announce that winner.

You guys are basically choosing. So we'll announce the winner, the night of the show, okay, in the life. Mm-hmm. Shup. It's gonna be really exciting. So today we're actually on number eight. We're both going to be revealing our number eight

most underrated real housewives of New York, poison, I'll start today, because I think I've had you start the past two days. So I'll start today. I chose as my number eight most underrated, I chose Jewel's Weinstein. Yeah. Oh, guess what? I chose Jewel's Weinstein. Wow, guess what? I chose Jewel's Weinstein.

I'm waiting for you as well. There doesn't even need to be a vote today. There's gonna be a poll, I'll say Jewel's or Jewel's. So I chose her because I actually felt like she was just about to kind of like come out of her shell. She had, she was starting to take on Bethany a little bit. And she was just sort of in a thankless position of being on a crazy, crazy ass season while her marriage was falling apart, although I don't know if she even realized it at the time.

She did, I think she might have been like slightly higher. She might have reached number seven, except I will always be traumatized by her, like breaking her vagina on her windowsill. That still grosses me out. But you know what, she baked a fork into a calzone. She baked a fork and a metal ramacan into a calzone. So that was good. You know, she brought some things

to the forefront, some eating disorder issues, which, you know, we're not like a barrel of fun. But, you know, I mean, I guess it's important to talk about, frankly, I, you know, whatever. She brought that, her husband, what happened later, I think is why she's underrated, because so much fell apart after she was on the show which would have been fun. Like for us, like in a sick way, you know, like her husband, the husband stuff. Like didn't he run off with the nanny or something crazy? And then what was the other thing about her? Oh, she has like her nanny stand in line for her iPhone and she got in a bunch of trouble

for that. And I mean, she's just an asshole. It's what I'm trying to say. Exactly. And I think that her husband cheated. But she really was an asshole. Like when you watch that show, it's like, oh, this woman is so crunchy and so awkward and so horrible. And God, I miss her.

I think she would have just done great. Yeah, I feel like we were just, we had just pulled off the brown paper skin on her onion. And we were just about to get into the first few layers before we find that weird inner layerer that's kind of rotten. You know, you have a poor truth and stinks in your kitchen, you know. Yeah, yeah, because she did have some like really terrible moments, you mentioned when she was going to have a nanny stand in line for her and there were like a few other things. I seem,

I don't remember the specifics, but I remember she had some sort of nanny interview where we were just all kind of like shocked and grossed out. And yet at the same time, I kind of felt bad for her because she tried to have a brunch and then Bethany and Carol were just so obnoxious to her. And then... Yeah, see that's a thing. That's what saved her that season. Because I think people really would have been putting her head on a spike and carrying it around the streets because she was that hateable. But then she got bullied, Bethany, and like getting 10 calls from her.

By the way, I don't know. So I'm gonna have to wait till after Watch Up Crappens. Okay, sorry, I did personally. Yeah, we're talking about Jewels Weinstein right now. Okay, this is important. It's like the computer, you know, the stupid Mac, everything's connected. So it's like the computers ring you,

the phone's ringing and I pads over there ringing. Everything goes off. The point is I'm getting windows. So yeah, I think people would have really hated her a lot more had she not been bullied by those two. There was the time where she invited people to her Hampton's home and they're seriously, what, it started to get done like this gross.

I'm gonna sit in the car. I'm gonna sit in the car. Yeah, and I'm so glad. And they were such evil. They were so evil to her. And I think that that got people on her side for a while and Also, let's not forget probably the most famous bookshores

Trip of all time was that season and that's when Bethany was going out in Luan and while this was all happening Jules's Father was in the hospital in a very precarious situation and father was in the hospital in a very precarious situation and she was sitting outside on a stupid Luan and she was like, I'm just trying to call my dad because they say he might not make it. And Luan's like, and would you believe what Bethany said about my hair? I mean, she took my hair. She's a hair stealer. You know, what does that mean? Which is probably the way I see it. Which is probably the way I see it.

If you were alive right now sitting on this stoop, which is it's not anything that really jewels did, but sometimes we have to remember the magical scenes that jewels was a part of. So number eight, yeah, jewels wine, jewels wine, graduations, okay, it's a no pool today. So go vote on yesterday's pole then if you haven't voted, okay.

So here we are with real housewives of New Jersey episode 11, 11, this is called Teresa and Love. Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling,

bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bl bling, bling, bling, bling, bling bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl and feeling grief and leaving, and somehow that was supposed to be a cliffhanger. Um, and so what a finger. What is Jen's mom gonna get off the buffet? I know. And that's the funny thing is it doesn't even really resolve that cliffhanger. It just comes back to the tea party. So they're all just, all the moms are there just eating food. And Melissa, of course, is like, you know, I, you know, I brought my mom and I thought

like my mom could be mom to both of us, but like it's just not the same. I'm like, yeah, because that's not her mom. Melissa. Yeah, you guys making out with the same guy doesn't mean that you have the same moms. Okay, Melissa, give me a break with that. And the Lord says, like, look, after everything Teresa's been through, she's been divorced, she's been to prison, she's got children, she's met someone new now. And I'm sure she's been to force, she's been to prison, she's got children, she's met someone new now. And I'm sure she'd like to talk to her mom about it, you know, I mean, did I mention she's got 14-aged girl. That's all really Dolores is here for lately is to just remind us the shit that Teresa's gone through. Okay. You are

worried that you might have breast cancer, ma'am. Okay. I would rather talk about what you're going through. Not that Teresa's stuff isn't real stuff, but it's like Delores. But also, it's like Delores is a reverse cheerleader. She's not there to cheer on the good things Teresa's doing. She's like, ra ra ra, sis gumbah, Teresa's parents are dead. You know, it's like the opposite of cheerleading.

But we also don't need her to do that because the show does it for us every chance it has. I mean, how many times have we seen flashbacks of the little girls walking through the house for the first time? I mean, I literally think there's a producer somewhere who just jerks off to old Teresa flashbacks because every season it's like Teresa will go

into a nursery and be like, oh look, it's a cactus. And then it's like 2009 and Teresa is just like, Joe, we found the cactus. Like everything is like a very important flashback to Teresa. I don't know if we need them anymore. We get it. She's gone to shit. And today we give it time to film.

I remember the first time I did it, I walked it in the house. It's like, whoa, look at Teresa carrying in the furniture that she paid for with the stack of cash. I'm like, where is the stack of cash part? That's the most interesting part. The part that led up to Prince Moose, the interesting part. Not watching the kids slide down my handrail. Okay.

Yeah, exactly. So then Jen tells us that she actually was raised on Long Island and then she brought her parents to New Jersey because she's like, you know, my mom just can't know all these days. You know what? She's talking about fun and sleep, but the wheel of the car, you know, I she's gonna know these days, you know when she's talking about fun asleep But the wheel of the car, you know, I just can't have a sit and do I was a traffic just to get to me Bye-bye. Yeah, she's like yeah, three kind of old home We're gonna fan of that and nobody understands it. Of course. It's like I do. I live in like 30 homes

All right, I understand it my first home is it. My first home is called What? My second home is called Teresa. And my third home is called Has been through. Okay. It's child in misery. Well, misery laying Pebble tile, which is the same as misery. So Jack is like, Valerie, which is Valerie is Dolores's mom. Valerie, so have you been to David's new house? Do you love it? And Valerie is like, yeah, it's beautiful. Valerie, so have you been to David's new house? Do you love it? And Valerie's like, yeah, it's beautiful. I mean, not as beautiful as a cookie, but it's beautiful. Yeah, it's good.

You know, I just, I would have preferred her to live in a tall house, but you know, I need you so. Okay, he's an amazing doctor. I'll give him that. And he's like, oh, then she's telling you what the sock is said, baby. Did she? She said she need a duck,, chicken, fire, the soul, man. You know, ma, all these girls like to talk about my relationship and Jennifer's here, tell, tellin' my mother something I wouldn't have even brought up.

I mean, you're on my back all the time about my relationship, okay? Moth, put the cookie down, okay? Put it down, ma. Right now I'm happy. Why can't people just accept that I'm happy? At the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. At the end of the day, March, what I went through in my marriage was hurts. Okay, I mean, we all love Frank, but I was hurt.

David is peaceful. He doesn't yell. He puts the seat down. He doesn't curse. He doesn't hit me. Okay, let's move on I pretend I didn't just say he doesn't hit. Okay, yeah, what was that? What was that? What was that like comparing contrast moments? Yeah, what you need to go back to that man? All right, also you can raise your standards when she said when she says Listen with David. I enjoy the piece. I got he doesn't yell He doesn't hit he doesn't scream. He doesn't swear. He's good to my kids in my mind

That should be the base level that should not be the exception to the rule Like that should not be a situation where um, oh well, you know, I all the guys they just yell and scream and hit That's not no the the that's just basic stuff, just to being a human. Yeah. And by the way, and you can get all those things and have someone who carbs out time for you to like, it's not a situation where you have to choose either column A or column B. Those those are, that's in all of the above option. You know, you, it's easy to say that until you're like dating. Then it really does become, you really do start to see.

It's not like so easy to find somebody. You know, sometimes I get settling, you know, when people settle. Okay. It's like the debt is too crushing to handle on my own. So you settle, you know, and sometimes I feel like single life is like that. You know, it's like, okay, do you want this guy with the mommy issues who, you know, cries himself to sleep? Or do you want this guy who like secretly pinches your dog while you're not looking?

Okay, they're both mediocre looking So which is it gonna be you lucky guy? What's your choice? You know, so I get it. It's like Ronnie Why did you try to marry the door dash guy? He doesn't beat me. Okay, that's good enough. He doesn't beat Yeah, I guess I guess everyone has their own standards and the loris has her very specific low standards okay you know what Frank tiles and David pays for the tile I've got everything I mean all right you know what does he park a motorcycle in the living room yes but does he spit on me every time he talks no so you know what I'm gonna go with the motorcycle,

cause I'm sick of wearing galoshes around. You know what, David doesn't try to run me over with his motorcycle and the living room. So, you know what I have what I need. Does David still have a active license for the career he has chosen? Yes, so I'll go with that. So Jennifer's mom is like,

if you're happy, then that's all that matters, baby And Dolores is like yeah, you know what? I always say you can't fight the DNA But now I'm starting to wonder about that because the mother's role being supportive of me But the DNA offspring and not being supportive of me. Okay. That was my DNA theory Take that to the banking catch it all right put that in your pipe and smoke it. Okay, wait What does that have to do with Dina mezo no DNA not Dina okay Theresa just go go back to your scene Theresa go back outside you're out of this Go back outside I

Always was so confused how they made dinosaurs out of Dina manzo in Jurassic Park It's not the one's dry hair mentioned drowners walking around Jurassic Park. It's another one. Jack M. Drenas walking around. How did they try to chase you know CSI? How did they make a whole TV show about Deena Manzo and Las Vegas? How did they do that? So Tauris is like, you know what?

I'm fine with it. And the mom's like, yeah, then if you're happy, then that's fine. And she's like, well, that's all I needed. My mom out of here because she didn't live with my daddy either and I just needed another chicken stir me happy baby and you could be in your own place with your own fox in the driveway so uh Jenna Jen's like hey Valera what do you think about not living with your husband, Baba? And she's like, I'm fine with it. You know, more cookies for me.

I mean, what is Valerie not fine with? Hey, Valerie, it's raining today. I'm fine with it. Now it's sunny. I'm fine with it. Yeah, that you made me crazy. I've said this before, but living in New York, it made me crazy being a waiter when people,

you'd be like, how's your dinner? You know, and they'd always be like, it could be better. You know, it's never like, it's great, but it's also never horrible. It could just be better. Okay, like can I get something from you? Okay, I mean, it was fantastic or this sucked cool the manager,

but every single time it's like, you know, it's fine, it could be better. It could be better. It could be worse. You know, what are you gonna do? You know, it's a pizza. What are you gonna do? All right, what are you gonna do? You know, it's a pizza. All right. What are you gonna do? You know, it could be better.

So it's okay. It's all for excellence. All the comic cards were filled out by Joe Joe. It's like, how was this experience? So what? Who cares? All right. That's how it was. What's what you're gonna do? What are you gonna do? Like, well, I'm asking you for that's why it's a comment card. I'm actually asking for actionable items. So what? So, uh, yes, what? So, Jen, so, so Josephine is like, yes, but you know, I'm just, you know, I'm worried about what people will think, you know, and so then Anne, who's, who's Jack, his mom goes, who gives a shit, right? Like all of a sudden, nowhere. She's very long-catted. Yeah. I just was like, I give a shit. Yeah, she's like, I do give a shit because you know, and Martin's just like, well, okay, let's get backwards.

All right, do you want to live with him? She's like, no, I mean, I'm not happy, but just so you're not happy. Well, it's my husband, but you know, isn't it a relief not being with him? You know what, you ever have to say this to him? Take a shower. Take a shower. You know, I'm over it. That's where I'm at And it's like no, you know what I'm old school. I'm embarrassed about it, baby And Valerie goes why do you care what people think? You know it's hard you know how hard it is I have to live with a man who sits at a dining room table

Like he's going on a roller coaster. It's embarrassing. it's hard. You know how hard it is. I have to live with a man who sits at a dining room table Like he's going on a roller coaster. It's embarrassing. It's hard But you know, but I he's my husband. He's my husband, you know This one air pod in his ear at all times It makes me crazy, but what can you do? I'm old school And where's three pieces to go swimming, but you know this is the life I have And I'm is like, all right, you know what, you can't because you're embarrassed and you can't because you actually miss him,

or you can't because you just haven't found ice coffee yet. You know, but we have to go through all of the scenarios and she's like, how come all of this talk has turned to me? All of the stories now are for me. And they all start cracking up and they're like, okay, leave her alone, leave her alone. Yeah. So now we go golf them with the guys, huh?

So first we have Joe Bonino coming over and I believe it was a purple shirt of some sort and then whoa, Evan Goldschneider looking mighty fine in his golf. It's very rare that someone can actually look hotter in golf clothes. Usually those shiny shirts don't really do it for me, but I thought Evan was, I was like, how long is their gold Schneider? You didn't think, I thought it looked so hot. I think Evan's less hot this season.

I have to say, just to objectify a man a little bit, I think it's a little less hot. I'm not into his Popeye, his Popeye scruff. It's like he's an extra in Popeye. I'm not really into it right now. I thought that he cheated, you know, the rumor of his cheating is like so regional. I don't like that either.

You don't like it really? I don't like that it really was, it was really confined to just 10 of fly, right? Yeah, I don't, I don't. And it was just like solely Jim cheating. I feel like if you're gonna cheat with somebody, you should make an effort. Not just fucking with a gym. Like that's just so like gym cheating. I feel like if you're gonna cheat with somebody, you should make an effort, not just fucking with a gym.

Like that's just so low class. Treat, treat whoever you're cheating with to a little respect. Not that he's cheating, I mean, I guess he's not cheating. I don't know, there's just, now I'm mad because I'm, you know, I have so many girlfriends and so I'm just used to being on the girl side that even if the man is proven not to be a cheat,

well, he hasn't been proven. But even if we're all aggrained at the man is proven not to be a cheat, well he hasn't been proven. But even if we're all agreeing that the man didn't cheat, someone said that he cheated. So I still am kind of like if he on him. He looks hot. So Frank, yeah, which has nothing to do with his hotness, but for me, for me it does. Like I want to fuck, I want to fuck your husband when he's not cheating. You know what I mean?

That would make me feel more special. Does that make any sense? I, you know what it is? You know what it is? Here's, I think why he looks so hot. Well, first of all, he was, he talked in a shirt which doesn't necessarily make someone look hot but it actually kind of like highlighted his body

a little bit more. And then I think it was, there was something so like normal about this get up that you can imagine being in a very normal situation and then seeing someone be like, whoa, that guy is way too hot for this normal situation. You know what I'm saying? Like I think that the normalcy of just a guy in like pants and a polo. I can't describe it. I just don't see anything hot about golf in general. I think golf is so gross. I think it's just such a lazy sport. And I feel like it's like such a patriarchy sport, okay? That's my woke. That's my work in a sport way. We know what this is like. I feel like it's a golfist

You know, I'm too woke. I'm too woke to even like you're playing golf because that's where guys are like Hey, guess what we're gonna make all our deals on the golf course and all those gaze or ladies You don't like it or aren't a lot on here on here can't make the deals and so like I resent it you know with their cost go fucking tuxedos basically that's what golf clubs are their cost go tuxedos they are that's that's true but I guess we're just gonna overlook Diana Shore and her lady contributions to the sport how many screenplay deals did she get point made thank you she got she got an invitational, I believe, in she got, she got like a sandwich in Palm Springs, but you know, she has like a whole

boulevard in Palm Springs, I think. She's probably like the Dynastore Convention Center. Okay. I like it. She has a lot to pull. Okay. Like, no way. By the way, is why, why is, why do we, why is there not like a gay beach named Dina Shore? Like that's literally the easiest game is. I feel like there probably is, don't you? I don't know, let's look at that. Gay beach called Dina Shore. Gay beach.

Well, either way, I resent, I mean, I'm not a big golf person, but I resent you saying that golf is too lazy of a sport when I, if I were to say, what about football, you'd say, no, that requires too much energy. That's violent. much energy that's violent Well football is violent and I feel like as Americans we're disgusting people for cheering this on when we know what this does to the people that are doing it You know they're all walking around with brain damage and we're like oh poor thing Well, I guess I'll just divorce him now. Yes. I'm talking to you real housewives of New Orleans or Southern charm New Orleans You know it's like we abuse these guys and everybody cheers them on

They're like oh well you got brain damage. Sorry. You got millions and millions of dollars, you know that you'll never be able to spend now because you're a vegetable What about tennis? Tennis, I mean, I'm not gonna diss tennis because you know my sister plays it and she'll be like, oh, I heard what you said about tennis So a big grudging a big grudging I'm a grudging tennis sense. Also tennis is one of those that makes you feel like you're working out, but you're not really like there are a lot of fat tennis players And I like that, you know, it's like look I'm doing this. I'm standing with the racket and then I'm just moving back and forth like this You know, you just stand there and wait for the ball and it makes people feel like oh my god I ran today. I'm like you ran three feet from a line to another line and they're like, well, do you like baseball then? Do you like baseball then?

No, they're there's a fat baseball players. Yeah, that will big booty. There's some big booty baseball players. I can't sand baseball anymore. I used to like it. I actually used to like be I like going to a baseball game. I like the experience of going to stadium and and that, but I have discovered that I actually I yeah, but I've discovered that I actually, I think I hate baseball now. I don't know what happened. I just don't think it's interesting. Baseball's boring, even the musical

about baseball is boring, okay? I can't with baseball. Okay, so Dina, the Dina, club skirt, Dina is short, lesbian weekend. Okay, so there's a big white party. So she doesn't, she doesn't have like a big white party in Palm Springs. 20,000 lesbians in the desert. Welcome to the diner. That's cute. Dinos, drive-ins, and dives. Okay. Here we are. Here we are. Do you think Dina Manna gets mad that she's like,

doesn't have a white party for her in Palm Springs somewhere. Probably. She's like, ah, here I am. I just want to do it. She doesn't want to do it. It's always about dying there somewhere. She does want to in Cathedral City and people are like, mm, that's just not as good as Palm Springs.

So, um, okay, so golfing. So, um, so they're all there and, uh, so it's Joe, it's Evan, it's Frank, and Bill will not be there. And Frank is like, what, what, what's Bill and I are doing security, huh? I already got all the leaves over, you know, turkish tea, huh? Turkish tea, huh? Turkish tea. It's like, Frank, there's already an irrigation system on this golf course.

We don't need you to say turkish tea anymore because you're overwatering the plants now. Yeah. I'm one of the guys who golf don't even pretend they're really there because they give them a fuck. They're only all gathered so they can be like, women, they're not, sir. Hey, what about that wife of mine, I, what do you think wife do?

They're crazy, all right? Yeah, I mean, apparently golf, the thing with golf is you actually just, it's probably the only sport where you actively get wasted while you play it. So I think that's a plus side for it, by the way. You just go and you get wasted. And then... Yeah.

I mean, you can do that sitting in a chair. That's my only bet. So, they're making fun of each other because they really all kind of suck it golf. I mean, Evan's okay. I got it. But, you know, and then they do like they do the extra guy hug, you know, because it's like such a guy day. It's like so full of kindness.

They basically, they hit each other when they hug. They're like hug and they're like boom, boom, boom, on the back, really hard. Like they're trying to burp the giant baby, you know? It's like, well, there's like a cloud of protein shake burp coming out of Frank's like protein shake in hamburger coming out. It's like, you don't need to burp him, okay?

Like, hey. Yeah, Frank is like, you know what the last time was when I held a golf club 13 years ago, okay? That's how long my PTSD happened from that time. That someone took a golf club to my golf game, not to anybody part of mine. That might be on my legs. I haven't played golf since, and I also haven't borrowed

$20 from a friend, all right? So it's been a while. The last time I held a golf club since and I also haven't borrowed $20 from a friend, all right Last time I last time I had like off club was when I was taking it off of my knee my Knee to enjoy life Gorg is doing his usual straight guy homo eroticism where he's like all right Here's what we're gonna do, okay? Some of us are gonna try and get a ball pass there. And then whoever shows a ball pass there, Gaster put his nut to my mouth, all right? That's what we're gonna do.

That's what we're gonna do. All right, all right, if someone gets that thing even near a hole, you put your finger on my butt, all right? Okay, she's what's gonna happen, okay? Whoever hits that ball, farther than that red flag, is gonna be packed behind that wood check and just Have your way with me, okay call me whatever you want just bend me over, okay? That's what the winner gets all right, okay, man

Let's do it Pound me like a chicken getting ready for a snitzel all right All right, my there is So, all right, that's all we're gonna do. All right, my theory is, theory is, theory is. Very, very is. Theory is. So, I do this contest. And Frank has like, why you got always gotta look at my dick,

Joe, huh? All right, how about this? How about if I pass this blue flag, you kiss my ass, all right? And then if you get a finger in your butt, after you lose that hole, then all eat your ass. ass Alright, I'm like, okay guys enough. This is like a porn is too. It's too complicated I need my plot lines simpler. I don't even know how to follow the rules of this game Also, you're supposed to be in a locker room all gay porn's happened in locker rooms not out on the green, okay? Yeah, so

So so Frank messes up. We got a lot of bad no golf moments. So now he has to kiss Joe Gorgas ass, right? So, it's like, oh my god, gay panic time. He has to play his lips on a beautiful rock hard, well-shaved asshole right now. So, it's like everyone's cracking up and everything, and Joe, but he's like, oh, he's got a Diggleberry. He's got a Diggleberry. He's got a diggle berry. He's got a diggle berry

And Gorgas like let me tell you guys something. He's got the softest lips all right. Hey guys. I love women That's how it ends he goes. I love women. I right. I love them. It's time for commercial It's time for a crappin's commercial Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your

resident not-so-expert-experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then they go, they all go get a drink at the little club thing and Frank's like I got a bite a box of tampons after kissing his ass like that right?

I literally don't understand what that means He's a woman now. I guess he's a woman now. Yeah. He's a woman now. He he did that So Frank Frank is his knees are in pain because of, you know, he has that knee situation speaking of golf clubs. And then they're ordering, they're just ordering all this food. And Joe Benino starts asking Frank how de loruses renovations are going.

And then Joe Benino is saying how with Margie, you know, it never, it just never stops. Like she just ordered a whole bunch of chandeliers and I was up until 11.30 last night and stalling chandeliers, yada da da da. Like she just ordered a whole bunch of chandeliers and I was up until 11 30 last night and stalling chandeliers. Yeah, that's a photo shoot. I'm like, is he the most romantic husband? Why doesn't Joe Benino ever get the most romantic husband? Honours.

Everyone else gets it. It's like, who's the best at Joe is? He stayed up till 11 30, putting up new lighting because March wanted it for an Instagram. Chandeliers. Chandeliers. He put up chandeliers.

Yeah. No, what's his face? David Bdor would even like lower the chandelier wanted it for an Instagram. Shandaliers. Shandaliers. He put up Shandaliers. Yeah. No, what's his face? David Bdor wouldn't even like lower the Shandalier for Shandal Medore, let alone install one for him. Yeah, he wouldn't even use the Bluetooth switch to get it up and down. So then Gorka, I mean, Gorka is really having a huge

men or pigs episode, right? And he's like, you know what, these women, and my right, these women, it's like the honor mission. They want to be taken seriously. Am I right? I mean, what the hell? Like, yeah these women, it's like the honor mission. They wanna be taken seriously. I'm right, I mean, what the hell? Like, yeah, they have got some of the proves. They got some of the proves. Trying to prove something to somebody, right?

Like, what the hell? They go to this working thing, working thing. You know, she'd like wants to make it and be great, right? And Frank's like, so you were militia, are you good? And he's like, yeah, yeah, she asked me out on a date night. And you know, she likes red, so she wore red dress. And then she also wore some red underwear. And you know what, that's what guys need, right? That's what guys

need, right? That's how we feel loved. Yeah, yeah, you know, did that with just a whole bunch of places, you know, speaking of women, I love to eat drop. And Joe, now, don't don't bullshit me, man, but uh, what's the deal with Theresa? Okay, because I hear she has a new boyfriend and then we see a flashback of Dolores telling telling Frank. So Frank Theresa has a new boyfriend. She's really into him. We haven't met him yet, but they're going pretty strong or whatever And I just like that Frank's like, you know, I like to use drop I'm like you drop on the worst of the conversation Men are so unused to listening that they have to call something else. They've even dropped on themselves So Gorgas pretending he doesn't know they're come on shrap holding that bro

And he's like I would tell you but she's my sister. All right, I can't do that, all right? And he's like, oh, come on, you know, how many times you met him? Is he nice or what's his ass taste like? You know, just a question, all right? You have my tampons in my ass, that's it. And Frank is also just like eating all the food at once and he's like, show us, go on.

What, is he nice? Is he good? What happened? What happened? And they just start laughing at him and then Joe Gorgher just puts a bun in his mouth. And then just ends up laughing. I genuinely was laughing like I was hanging out with him

because it was actually so funny. Brake is so funny. When this conversation started, he goes, hey, speaking of women, I love to eat. So Joe, what? What was Mike? He never even connected that to anything else. It's just like speaking to women, I love to eat.

So did you met the guy that she's dating? It's a romantic thing to say. So now we go over to Michelle the Realtor, showing Teresa, new house. Hi. And it's like a modern house. Hi! And it's like a modern house. So no angel winged doorways or faux Tuscan touches or grandiose staircases or just generally hideous tacky brown marble accents. Because you know that Teresa will be the first one to stop at one of those roadside

stands. It sells like plaster columns, you know know or shit like that for your garden. Yeah Plastic columns all over that place. Yeah, and Michelle is Michelle I mean she is so funny because she's such a real estate agent the house is really cool and it but it's on like a cliff Essentially and it's overlooking you to go out to the balcony and there's just like a steep drop off and Michelle's like and right here I envision an infinity pool of like like what one foot wide come on the cell yeah um so trees is feeling a little bit better you know and she's talking about how she wants to use this basement for Gia because there's a basement here. So she facetimes her and they talk about it

And then she's like, you know, I My best friend and we like talk about everything. All right song and I call on because I still remember when we moved in our house It's like oh god look. There we go opening the front door Girls are happy Look at them. Oh, children. So she goes, yeah, you know what? I knew that it changed. I rang because like selling the house is like a final

ending, right? Like we don't we don't have the house so did we like move on because they we don't have a so as to end right but like to end But it's like the real end. It's like the final end Jerry said you're moving. Hey people move every fucking day We understand the metaphorical implications. Yes, we're leaving the camera way too long on Teresa someone just please Let it We then cut to like a flashback of her saying, this is the ending of like another place,

just like a montage of just flashbacks. And no, no, I can't. I cry inside. Yeah. So then Michelle's like, what are your thoughts? I'm saying, I wanna see Moana. So they basically, you know, this is of course an excuse to sit and talk about

the next party. Michelle's gonna be the one throwing this party. And it's just a cocktail party, no reason, but she's got a friend named David, and he's gonna be there, c'mpring your girlfriends, and you can meet David. And she's like, well, I met it some time, Bada, you know, like, it's not scary, it's not, cause, you know, it's like a pretend end.

It's not the real end yet, right? It's like kinda ending. kind of ending commercial break. I'm a missha. I missha was like, so I mean, do you want to meet the guy? And Teresa's like, you know, the last thing I want to do is meet the guy and then a customer going, I would love to. So, so let's see. So then Gorgah goes to lunch with Melissa and Margaret.

Well, first, he's just with Melissa. So they're at this Cuban place. And he's like, uh, hot waiter. As long as we're talking about hot people in polo shirts, I thought the waiter was hot too. That was a good episode for a hot, scruffy man on Jersey. I didn't look him in the eye because I have respect.

Okay, I was like, I'm not going to try and manipulate you, waiter, okay? I'm a good, I'm a good patron. Okay, I was like, I'm not gonna try and manipulate you, waiter, okay? I'm a good, I'm a good patron. Okay, you were just bringing me whatever you want. I'm not gonna ask your name. I'm not gonna call it you, I'm triggered this week. Okay, so Gorka is like, hey, you know what, you know what I'm gonna have?

I'm gonna have the Chica high ball. You know why? Cause this is Chica in it. And I gotta have the Chica. I love those Chicas, all right? Mm-hmm. Also, I love that it has ball in it. Okay, little competition waiter, okay.

You got two minutes to bring me the drink and if you don't bring me that drink, I gotta blow you, okay? Yeah, that's what's gonna happen. Okay, you know what? Here's the challenge. If you get ice in my drink within two minutes, I'm gonna sit on your face.

All right, that's it. That's a challenge. So, yeah, so Margaret and Jovenin O'Arrive and then, you know, a lot of sorry. This guy's a professional. The only thing I care about is this scene. So I'm so sorry I have to go back. So Melissa goes, well, what is that?

What's Chica? I mean, goes, girls. So Melissa goes, well, what is that? What's Chica? And he goes, girls. And she goes, oh, okay, fine. Then bring me some Chiquitos too. And he goes, what are you gonna do with the Chiquito? It's a Spanish place. Like, what? What?

What? So she can't, she can't have sex with somebody else with their Spanish. Like what is this scene? What is any scene with Joe Gorgon today? I clearly did not, you know. I was like, I'm not going to commit this pattern to my notes right now. It's just always like so confounding.

Yeah, just their little strange, romantic banter, but barely even makes sense. What are you gonna do with the guy? He's Spanish. Like, uh, like, is that blatant racism? Or I need to know what's going on. So I'm gonna explain. Okay, go ahead, Ben, I'm sorry, babe. So, well, either way, so they come and, uh, you know, they're talking about how, uh, you know, hey, so Frank just josephs, hey, we got a video of it. Take a look at this video and just like, ass crack, like just full on ass crack. And by this video gets shown like 15 more times, we see a lot of that ass crack. And so it's sort of like, it's kind of like filler.

The rest of the episode is almost just like, hey, you see this video yet? Yeah, yeah, take a look at this. It's Frank. It's kissing my ass right here. You got to take it out, you know? So they all look at that for 15 minutes and then They start talking about the tea party and how Teresa went to the cemetery and everything and Melissa's talking about her mom and our her mom loved Joe and Teresa's parents and everything and and Margaret I said then Margaret goes, but you know what the good thing is that she's dating someone now. And Melissa goes,

who? Teresa. Like, Melissa, who else were she talking about? Like, I'm not more serious. If she's dating someone now, she's going to be very happy. That's why she's drinking so much pineapple juice, okay? Don't tell me that she's not drinking pineapple juice just to get her vitamin D, okay?

Because that's why she's swimming. All right, that was the chat. It was, thank you, John. Thank you, that was the big chat. She just gets that was a joke. It was thank you, John Thank you, that was the huge I just got started wearing a pineapple in her head like Jiquita banana woman. Hey, who's Jiquita banana? Well my god, I meet her, huh? How about a kid open and I was like okay you two So then a Joe kind they kind of admit it tomorrow everyone knows, you know, this is a dumbest thing ever So everyone because Joe B Joe so Joe B had told Margaret what Joe Gorgah had said that Teresa and Louise are sort of in love

So then she's mad. Yeah, no, Marbottom. So I hit him in love, huh? So now it's all out there in the open So then Dolores goes in an Uber to the breast cancer center, which is so sad and she's like, you know Cancer I always thought that I I'm doing too well for cancer, you know like a work hard everything's going how I want But cancer does not discriminate which is true, you know, so that's sad and then we go to Get yeah Joe Joe, we have a cocktail party to go to at Michelle's. Jow, Jow, okay, here's the, okay. This is my outfit, it's gonna be sparkly.

What are you gonna wear? I don't know, Margie, I don't have anything sparkly. Okay, Jow, here's what you're gonna do. All right, pour me some ice coffee. Oh, no, okay, your point, your point on juice into a plant. That's not even close to ice coffee. It never might stay home.

Man, am I right? So then we go over to Jen's house and she's getting ready talking to Gabby and she's like, I'm going to a party, baby. I can't wait. I'm going to have summer fun. I'm going to drink a couple of shots. It's a key that never had me did that did that baby. And Gabby else like, um, are you sure about that? Yeah.

And then Jackie is talking to Evan about how she's so excited for tonight. And she's like, you know what though the last 10 times you went in a drinking situation with Jo Koga, you did a lot of shots. And he's like, listen, I lived in a fraternity house. I'm fine. I'm a well-respected man in the well-respected field of finance. Don't you worry about me. So then over at Melissa and Joe's house, she's like,

not gonna lie Joe, you know, I never really thought we'd go to their house after what happened, but the way she handled it, I mean, she owned that. So I like her now. And then we go over to Teresa's who's with Priscilla, okay, two in a hair. And she's like, I'm going to miss y'all's kind of partying in it. I've been going to have guy friends over there. And I saw a pic and he's not my type to that. I need much bigger face and lips and jeans. And I'm like, what's wrong with this guy? He's like totally cute.

The guy you have looks like, I don't know, like Jeff Lewis, those jeans in the face, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So, but now Trees is basically going to try to pawn this guy off onto Dolores. And then Percilligus, she's not with the doctor. I'm like, what is it we have people on this show talking like they're from 1952? What, with a doctor?

She does say that. She does say it like that. Hiddenly with the doctor. And Teresa's like, well, she don't have a little no-menged and I'm having that is. So then we go over to Frank's and this is like the start of every Frank and Dolores scene. Dolores, where are you? It's like not too many. I just like that Frank doesn't even have the patience to maybe just look around the corner. Dolores! Dolores! Right just look around the corner Dolores Dolores right away Dolores. So she's always in the closet hint. She's always in the closet every single time Frank

Well, you know, it's a pandemic so you can't go outside anymore and by outside I mean outside the closet which means I can't go from the kitchen to the living room. So just go stay in the closet, you know so She has roller skates up there. And we find this lovely little, just a strange, this strange little backstory about the roller skates, which is that there was going to be a roller skating party. But because the pandemic, it was canceled. So she's like, so one day I says, you know what? I got the roller skates. I'm just gonna put them on. And I wore them. And it was like one of the best workouts I ever had.

So now, if I have time, I put on my roller skates. I listen to some Fran Shouly. And I go roller skating. And we just see a video of her, unlike a boardwalk, just rolling by high, the Lorson Wheels. By the way, the worst place to roller skate ever. It's like, what? What flanks? It's like, by the way the worst place to roller skate ever

Well Frank now that I've told you the most important news which is the backstory on the roller skates I shall let you know that biopsy was negative and benign anyway You know we don't talk about that stuff Frank. So I'm so I'm not a roller skate I'm so glad that we could cancel the outdoor roller skating party for an indoor party where we all kiss each other Which we're about to go to right now Frank you know I heard that Cynthia Bailey is having a super spreader event and I was feeling a little left out So put on your roller skates. We're going to Michelle's into a party So we got a people we go to Michelle's peer one and LED lighting expo house, which is like Michelle You don't need yellow LED lights on your like you just don't okay. I'm watching this mafia show on HBO

And it's real it's not like a glamorous mafia show. It's like a really down-trot and like it's just sad You know you look at it and you're like wow I guess I don't want to be a mafia person. This just looks horrible and seedy. And every single character has LED lights somewhere in their house. I guess that's just like an Italian thing. Your colored LED lights, which you know, I love those behind my TV, but it was just a lot

is all I'm saying. It was a lot. The decor was strange. I felt like there was a lot like purples and blacks and I was trying to think of lot like purples and blacks and I was trying to think of what it actually reminded me of and I never really put a finger on it and then I realized I don't think I even want to touch it. I think I'd like to put my finger in something better. I'm like an electrical socket. It's just something more comforting than that design.

It cracked us. Putting acid. So yeah, so Teresa arrives for her. So she's like, Oh my god. Look at this food. Oh my god. Blink, blink, blink. Oh my god. She says that for like 10 minutes, just going, Oh my god. Because I think she just doesn't want to talk to anyone. So she just says, Oh my god, a lot. She doesn't have to engage in a conversation. And every, every single person that comes in is like, did you see the video of doggorget getting his ass kicked by Frank?

We should watch it. Let's watch it again. Let's watch it again. Let's watch it. Let's pull it up on YouTube. Yeah. So they watch it again. So, um, so then Margaret is like Margaret arrives and she's like, by the way,

guys, guess what? Joe told all the guys that Teresa is in love. Okay, did you hear that? And Michelle is pissed off. She's like, Oh the way, guys, guess what? Joe told all the guys that Teresa is in love. Okay, did you hear that? And Michelle is pissed off. She's like, oh, I had no idea. I mean, I have a nice guy coming for Teresa. If I had known that, I obviously wouldn't have set this all up. But she's like, she's angry,

but since Teresa's a client, she can't afford to be angry. So she just has to give anger eyes and like, just on to it. I mean, oh, Marge, make sure that Teresa hears it the next time. As Teresa passes, she's like, yeah, you know what? Someone says it's everything up. You know, to be sense what I heard. And Teresa's like, whole sand, why? And they're like, you know what? That's what we're hearing. The cheering love. She goes, who said that? Who said that? She goes, your brother. Okay, he talks all the guys, the cheering love, you know.

And she's like, oh my god. There's a great, by the way, it was, it was, it was a great call back to real housewives of Atlanta. It was, you know, cause the one of the most famous Atlanta scenes is who said that? Who said that? And this was to me, she's like, who said that? Who said that?

Who said that? Teresa's a there? Who's in there? Teresa's a master Porsche. Yeah. So, and Kathy, and who else was that? God, that was good. And it's still a great, it's still a great Jeff. Woo, so good. God, I hate myself every time I say Jeff.

It's just so wrong. Don't say it, just say GIF. No, because every time you say GIF, then people go, that's not Haysay, you're supposed to say Jeff. But then every time I say Jeff, I say God, I hate sing Jeff. So I don't know what's better. I mean I just always assume you're talking about peanut butter like porceless when you said port that that's a great GIF I'm like, yeah, who doesn't love peanut butter?

Yeah, you know A little peanut butter pun humor guys So yeah, so Teresa is like, I was in there and it was Joey. You told all the boys and I'm in love, Joey, huh? Why would you say that, Joey? Why did you say that? And he's like, what?

What? And everyone's like, oh, or Benino says, yeah, he says, the sisters in love. And he goes, I didn't say she's in love, cut to joke, or she's madly in love, you know? I knew cuttings is this me, so I did it. She's in love cut to Joe Gorg. She's madly in love So then the Aiden's come and I could do it because I didn't drive

So Joe Gorg, so Teresa is still mad and he's like, so he pulls a car all actually. He's like, he's like, tree, you look great by the way. You look great, you look beautiful tonight. Tree, you look wonder, you look wonderful, you know? Hey, okay, I got a bet, I got a bet. If I said that my sister was in love, okay, if someone could prove that I said it,

I will take you up back and jerk you off myself. Okay, if you could prove that I said it, I will take you up back and jerk you off myself. Okay? All right, right. If you could prove that. If all the guys here say that I said that then all the guys here are gonna be cracking my face. I write it right at my face. Right my face. If there is any footage anywhere that ever surfaces ever Then just all all my face all at once. Okay naked. I'll be the naked one you guys be fully exposed. I don't care Okay, and Melissa's like he just doesn't want to hide it to reset. I mean your brother is such a lover The first time I had sex with him there were a dozen dollar bills on the state Doesn't roses on the bed, you know, I was so romantic and March is like the first time I had sex with mine I said take a shower because I don't want my husband to smell you.

Yeah. And then David, the guy, the guy who was supposed to be Teresa's setup, he walked in with a lovely foal hawk. That was a great touch. They're all like wow David you look very young. Well you know I got a lot of sleep and she's like he sleeps well not in no way no. Yeah, I'm just doing like the cut and Melissa's like what's wrong with you? He's cute. He's sleeping. I'm just like fuck him. You know what if he takes a nap he's dead to me this guy. You know what? She'll give just like, fuck him. You know what, if he takes a nap, he's dead to me this guy. You know what, he should give any excuse. All right, you know what, sleeping,

napping, yapark on the wrong side of the street. I mean, it's just any excuse not to be with this guy. All right, and they're like, well, what about for Dolores? You know, we can save him up for Dolores. I just, so sick of this, when people do this to single people, and Dolores doesn't even single. But it's says even single, but it's like wow, you know, Ronnie single You know, I saw a guy today. He was actually picking up the trash and putting it in a giant truck. I'll bet Ronnie would like him This guy's bald too

Yeah, I like this like one size fits all Like guy that is like oh well it doesn't work for Teresa So it'll be fine for Delores as if they are not two different women with two totally different needs and attractions You know and and actually it happens to gay guys a lot because people will often be just like I remember back Back in back in my back in my single days not to sound like that But people would always be like oh my God, I know a gay person also. You guys are totally gay. And it's just like, yeah, it's like it's like someone who's like, there's no consideration

about like what I'm attracted to, what I'm interested in. What they're attracted to. What they're attracted to is just like, oh, you guys are both single and therefore let's and you're both gay. There is a sex in the city about that where you know Charlotte and Carrie were both like, oh my god, I have a gay friend. I have a gay friend too. We should we should hook them up. Yes, I remember that. They get they get the gay friends together and it was so accurate. The gay guys are both like, hate him. I hate him. Oh, he's like, oh really? I'm not the attractor.

Oh, I'm not the attractive one. I have biceps. Okay, I have biceps. Oh, no. But so, but getting back to this show, what is also, let's really not gloss over the fact that Teresa turned down this guy because he likes to, like he said he sleeps. And he just said it as a joke that he sleeps.

I have heard a lot of excuses from people about why they wouldn't date someone, you know, that they, I don't like their hair, I don't like this or that. But sleeping is a new one for me. Like someone who says, yeah, I sleep. Well, he says I sleep a lot. It's like a lot of time and bad.

I don't think that's attractive and I'm in bed all day, you know? But I wouldn't tell somebody like I actually liked, hey, you know what I do all day? Stay in bed, read the phone. Like, who wants to all day, you know, but I wouldn't tell somebody like I actually liked. Hey, you know what I do all day? Stay in bed. Read the phone. Like, who wants to date that, you know? Also his eyebrows. And also the gym.

He's like, oh, yeah, sleep and go to the gym all the time. The fohawk of the, the fohawk. Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot. You're dismissed. So, oh, he was totally dismissed. I'm just saying I thought Teresa, you know, saying it's because he sleeps was, it was pretty hilarious to me.

Yeah, especially after being married to Joju Dice, like I think his entire time on the show was spent on a couch. So then let's see, it wasn't even. So now there's a lot of, okay. So everyone's like, a lot of talk. So everyone's like, do you come up with Dolores, right? Everyone's like Dolores needs somebody and they're like, well, I don't know. And Marge says, well, she's locked and loaded. All right. She doesn't need a boyfriend

She just got a Porsche from her boyfriend and Teresa cuz oh that would piss me off like don't get me a car Are you fucking? Mansion that you're selling? Are you fucking kidding me you went to prison for fraud because of all the cars you made your house You know you wanted your husband to buy for you so that you could look rich enough to be on this show. To resub all the people. I know. That was very funny. But they're basically saying that David essentially got Dolores a lavish gift to buy himself some time, which

I don't think is necessarily untrue. But, and, but they're all, they're all really scandalized by this and they're, they're talking about it. So now they do a whole bunch of shots and then Dolores and Frank arrive and, um, and guess what? There's another like, Hey Frank, hey Frank, come over here. I just, I guess this, but, huh, I just look familiar to you. Hey, I put those soft looks right up on you. Yeah, get them, get them right on there.

Yeah, Frank, there he is. There he is. And get them get them right on there. Yeah, Frank there he is There he is and Frank's like honestly, I've eaten better at that Oh, yeah, if you've eaten better ass than I'm gonna bet you if you've eaten better ass than that I'm gonna you know what you're gonna come down my throat. All right Frank at any of what's wrong with you, okay? so then they show the video again like the fifth time is Joe Gorgas ass crack Look Frank is an ass kisser Totally works for this group. I'm waiting for one person to be like here is that so stupid but everyone's like Yeah, and so meanwhile in another area of the house, the girls are talking about setting

Deloarse up with this guy David, and they're just talking about how the Porsche is like getting, it's weird that he would get her a Porsche, but not a ring because a Porsche cost like the same amount of money probably, and so they're all kind of like weighing in and Evan's like, yeah, it's probably, like he's probably stalling and then Michelle is like, hey, you know what? Let me ask my husband since he got me the car and the ring. So you really won with that one. So Wolfman comes over and she's like, honey, she got a car instead of a ring. What does that mean, John?

And he's like, wait, a Porsche before the ring, you know what? That guy actually owes me a Porsche. He promised me one. Did he not give it to me? God damn it. I was the one, I mean, I basically delivered all those babies, right? I mean, I, I, I, I, I set him up, I said his Twitter account up.

I basically, I basically am a doctor now, huh? Like I'm old to Porsche. Um, so then Marge is someone, oh, Marge asked tree if she's drinking a lot of pineapple juice because Teresa is like texting on her phone, obviously texting the guy, right? And Melissa is dropped now. So she's like, Hey, Teresa, look at that mozzarella. It's just being made right now. So it's called muts. Yeah, there's like, this is what you want to see in a at an indoor party, maskless party during a pandemic.

Someone just needing raw mozzarella. Just be like, just get in there with their fingers. Oh, they have, I also like, they did have gloves on. Oh, they did. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm very aware of this, this week because everyone got so upset about below Dexal and not the lady not wearing gloves. So it's like, did have gloves on. Oh, they did. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm very aware of this week because everyone got so upset about Belodex yelling at the lady not wearing gloves. So I was like, are there gloves? And there were.

It's like wow. And they're not going to be so happy. So then they're also doing shots. And Bill is going, mm, keep that away from my wife. Mm, your eternal influence on my wife. And then Jen just goes, here's the key of the castle. It's like what? and someone's on my wife. And then Jen just goes, here's the kid of the castle. What? What?

So they start talking about this guy. And Teresa says she's not texting him, but everybody knows that she's texting him. And it's like, I'm gonna go down. And so she's like the girls are home by themselves. I'm rings. So she leaves. And then the worst goes,

she's relieving them. She goes, did she tell you why she's upset I mean with all she's been through anybody anybody know what Teresa's upset Well Melissa's and before she leaves Melissa just pastors her she's like you're going home. Why? Why why Do you have underwear on do you have underwear on and she's like yeah, dude? She's like you're a hoe Oh, no Teresa doesn't have underwear on She's like you don't have underwear on I go underwear on you're a hoe. I told you you're a hoe

You're a hoe and Teresa's like you have underwear on just of course I do what do I look like a hoe like you I'm like this is the first time Melissa's heard the word hoe cuz she's like 10 times. She's loving it So Dolores is like why she upset March. She's not upset. She's coming for a baby call. Okay, you know what and Dolores is like well Why does everybody have to bug or about a relationship all the time? I mean after all she's been through and Marjus like You know, she just tell us we'd leave her alone. We just wanted to be happy. Okay, she's just listen Here's what's happening everybody. She scared. Okay, and I'm telling you sometimes things don't work out You know it's not easy to be back in the game after what you've been through after what she's been through after what I've been through

Okay, oh Do you remember when she bought a new house 10 years ago? God, I wish there was a flashback here. We go here we go I Here we go. Oh my god, I mean stairs. I cried inside. So just all the gritties. If you can get up those stairs before me, you're gonna put your dick in my ear, all right? So Dolores like listen, I don't blame trees for keeping it quiet, you know, there's a judgmental crowd, okay? She has she has the right to leave for, for a booty call. God bless. So then, um, Melissa, Melissa is saying how like Joe Gorgah always shares.

It's like, very, is a very open book as opposed to Teresa. And Dolores is like, well, David wouldn't talk like that, Joe. And David would, would be very upset around. I guess they're, oh, they're talking about David now, I guess. And because Melissa said, you know, Teresa doesn't say anything and look at Joe. You know, he walks out of the house going, I just spank my wife, all right. And Dolores is like, yeah, David wouldn't like that kind of talk. Yeah. Okay. He'd be very upset around you, Joe.

And Joe goes, oh, yeah, look at you. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm so happy. And she's like, yeah, I am happy. if I wasn't happy you'd know I wasn't happy All right, you know what I threw my husband now after four after four months of being pregnant All right because it was fucking with me. You think I'm gonna pretend to not be you think I'm gonna pretend to be happy when I'm not happy Choguoka huh? Do you? Yes, Dolores Dolores is getting riled up. She's getting riled up I love one she gets angry so he's, I think that you're in denial.

Okay, go with Gorga right now. We're about to have a seminar. And she goes, you can tell me whatever you want, little man. But I don't want someone getting mad at me for walking ahead of them to get them to the car. I was like, yes, I was so proud of her for saying that. She goes, yeah, well, it's a real man. You know what?

You express your feelings. All right. And that was my feelings. And I express them. So I's a real man. You know what you express your feelings alright? And that was my feelings and I express them so I'm a real man alright a real man can take it up the Butt and you know not even not even put a hole through a pillow, okay? So if David didn't give you that affection You know what then it's gonna be impossible it's impossible for him to give you that kind of infection because he works like 16 hours a day Huh, yeah, and then but then Jen's like, you know what, I get it, but my husband's a doctor too, and he finds a way to make time for me.

Can you look at some, bye bye. Joe, you know what, if I wanted to say married, I would have stayed married. And he's like, you know what, I love, I love Frank, but you know what he was doing, his thing, okay? You know what, Frank?

Frank, look, I loved you, but you know what, you broke her. look, I loved you, but you know what? You broke her. This is a broken woman. Just look at her. Look at this broken woman. So condescending. Look at this piece of shit. You think it's easy walking around as a woman when you don't got a man. What's the point of even living, bro? Like what is that? Look at her broken. She has like another, what, probably 30 to 50 years left in her. And she's gonna spend all that time broken That's just sad 50 years of broken life the woman is what you did

Look at this but that she's like a box of IKEA shelving with no L bracket to put it all together, bro She's like that one she's that one shopping car, you know that someone pushed outside the parking lot We got through that thing, but now the wheel doesn't work because it won't pass the parking lot and you're like bro Who's gonna use that shopping cart now? That's what she is. The shopping cart on the side of the road, bro. Yeah, bro, she's a rickety wheel stuck on the sidewalk, bro. That's what you did to her.

And Dolores goes, well, you know, Joe, and the antithor like yourself would say something stupid like that. And Joe goes, yeah, but you know what? If I got cheated on by Melissa, I would be broken. And Jackie's like, I think that this is a message to Teresa or to Melissa. You know, she thinks she wants independence,

but without a man calling the shots, you know, you're gonna be broken to Melissa. That's basically what he's saying. Yep. And so, Gorgah is like, he's like, don't, the Lord, don't you want to have love? Don't you want to know what it's like to have someone just like come right into your face

and when you get a bet wrong, you know what I'm saying? And she goes, I feel loved. By who? David. You know what, you got a scot hot. You got a scot hot. Yeah, you got a scot hot. And I was sitting here being like,

why is everyone just letting him save these things? And finally Margaret is like, but this is all that very chauvinistic thing to say. Okay, Joe, beat him up just letting him say these things? And finally Margaret is like, you know what? This is all a very show-in-a-stick thing to say. Okay, Joe, beat him up. Beat him up. All right, you know what never mind? Take a shower. Go upstairs.

Michelle, can you use your shower? He needs to use the shower. Okay, what is this? The 50s? Okay. Women's Existences don't revolve around men. And that's not where they drive all their happiness from. Okay?

It's like, newsflash. This is not what it's all about. And Melissa's like, yeah, well Deloist, I don't wanna talk behind you back. So I'm just gonna tell you, you know, I heard that a couple of people brought up that you got a present, you know, and a couple of people were saying,

and Marjus, no, no, no, no, not just a couple of people. You and Teresa, okay, was you and Teresa who were doing it. Because Melissa won't stop. It's like every time she gets a champ, she's like, wouldn't you rather have a ring? Like, wow, congratulations, Melissa. You got a fucking ring. Wow. You've really.

And then Melissa throws everyone under the bus. She goes, no, not just me and Teresa. It was Michelle and John and Evan and Jackie. And guess what? They all, we all agree, most of them more than me, is really mainly them who are talking all the shit, that it was a stall to get the ring, okay? And then Jennifer, always so delicate goes, yeah, we get crushed, they didn't get a ring and got a car, baby, just absolutely crushed, baby. She goes, no.

Yeah, and the Lord says, it doesn't mean shit, okay? David is part of my family, and it's growing slower than people expected. You know what, and the Lord says like it doesn't mean shit, okay? David is part of my family and it's growing slow within people expected You know what I'm good with it. It should be good enough for everyone Frank. I want to leave okay? Because everyone's talking behind my back here and Melissa goes no way not You literally just admitted to talking about you did she goes you know what fuck you learn how not to talk behind my fucking back Oh fuck yourselves. Frank, let's fucking go. And Melissa goes, there's just mixed messages.

There's not mixed messages. How many times does she have to say it? Okay. My God. Look, so I think David's a bad boyfriend. Yes, I 100% believe he's a bad boyfriend. You know, the Dolores, the Dolores say she wanted a ring and now she's actually like, she doesn't want a ring. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it.

I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it.

I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. nice of the kids and for right now he's working for, as she always says, for right now it works in her life. And then when it stops working in her life she's going to move on. I mean, I don't think anyone believes that this is, I don't even think the lower things this is the love of her life, but it's like the, it's like, you know, it's like when you get a key of furniture, you just, like sometimes you just need to chair. Transitional. And he's like a transitional guy.

Yeah. Sometimes you need a poing. Okay. And it's just, it'll, it gets the job done for now. Yeah. So then, Dolores is furious, right? And she hears them because they keep talking. Most is like, well, I just didn't even know what she meant.

And Dolores is like, well, figure it out. Because what comes out of my mouth is what I meant. All right. And then you get fucking business anymore. So then she's yelling at Frank as they go to the car. She's like, I can't believe these fucking people and the fucking this and the guy did that. Roll the skating my ass.

You know what I'm going skating right now. Get out my roller skate from the trunk Frank. I'm not even fucking with you. And he goes, how did she work? Why are you hollering at me? And she goes, cause I'm aggravated Frank. And then they get in the car. I'm just in a true moment.

I know. They get in the car and she's like, you know what? I need five minutes to quam town. Don't speak to me. And that's why I love to love. There's something like so. Like, there's just something so real and wonderful about Dolores. Yeah, and Margaret's like, well, when someone has a fit, we go have a cocktail. So that's where it ends with Dolores getting angry. I love with Dolores getting angry. I love when Dolores gets mad when she blows. She blows. There she blows. All right. Well, thank you so much for being here with us today and for watching us on

Crappens on. We will be back tomorrow with the summer house reunion, which looks pretty good. And then we'll be back one day with top chef. Do not forget to go get your tickets for our live show on May 6th. The coverage for the house was New York's next week. It's a week from today. It's a week from today, okay? Go on to on locationlife.com slash watch what happens. Okay, that's what we're gonna find. Tickets for shop. Okay. We sure love you guys. We will talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors.

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