Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Attention Deficit Dis-Gorga

Episode Date: April 9, 2021

This week on Real Housewives of New Jersey, we bid a tearful goodbye to Nono, but not before witnessing a perfectly petty fight wherein Joe Gorga projects his masculinity insecurities onto Melissa. Will she ever dare to walk to a van without him again? Only time will tell.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's what happens

Who's what happens Who's what happens Watch what happens Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who's what happens Who's what happens Who cares what happens Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, you can also find me on the Game Brain podcast, if you like board games

like I do, if you're obsessed like like I am, and joining me is someone who I want to play settlers at can with. It's Mr. Ronnie Karam, what's going on Ronnie? Well, how man, I will buy your wool factory and build a road right through your straw center. What do you think about that? I think that's great. I actually still remember that game

because I remember you just kept on collecting cards and you weren't actually using them And I was like Ronnie you have to build a wall or something build up build a road build a settlement and you just kept No, I've saved that shit up so I can do it all at one time of beat everybody in the end. It's like poker You know, I don't have anything. I don't have anything. Oh, I built a strip mall ride over your straw factory Sorry, but what if the robber comes and takes your cards? Oh, this is I recall I won that game. So I don't recall that part, but well, you're not

Recalling like I recall. You know, all that matters is what you remember, right? And if in your mind you won Katan, then that's if I would like you to have that memory because I want you to have nothing but warm, victorious memories about something that's a Catan. Actually, my memory is you being very bitter that I won. And you know what, now we're talking about housewives

all the time and it's called my truth. Okay, it doesn't have to be that truth. We're talking Bravo, it's only my truth that matters. And the truth is this, that you can't spell Delores Katania without spelling Katan first. So that's the segue into saying that we're talking about real house So eyes of New Jersey and before we get into that we actually have a big deal announcement like a big one Like something that everyone should be like, you know, you know, you know, pausing their their like, you know, you know, pausing their lives for it this moment. Stop. We are the people staying up the keeping up with the Kardashians.

We are the only. No, not that, not that. Pause your car, turn out, don't turn that on the radio, because we're on it. But tell the kids to quiet down, tell your husband, tell your wife, tell your girlfriend, tell your mom, stop nagging you with the soup spoon. Okay, like you don't want to taste the soup right now, just listen. Okay, we're doing another live virtual show. It's going to be on May 6th.

We're covering the season premiere, real housewives of New York, you know, our favorite franchise of all time. It's our signature recap. It's coming back. And so we are gonna do a live virtual recap of it, the usual stuff on location live. And the tickets for that are gonna go on sale this Tuesday. So you have some time to prepare for it.

Sometimes people feel they're caught off guard. So those tickets are going on sale on Tuesday. And it's going to be super fun. We've done two of these now. We did one for the crappies, which was like, you know, observe, we had several thousand people come in for that. And then before that, we did Salt Lake City, the premiere for that where the March dropped in on that one. So we've always have fun on these virtual streams. We always, you never really know what's gonna happen. And you can also, one of the fun parts

is not only do you get to watch us recap, but you can interact with the other audience members. And it's just a really fun way to bring the whole community together. So it's gonna be on a Thursday, it's gonna be at six o'clock, Pacific, nine o'clock Eastern. And I think we're just gonna have a big ol' blast. I'm so excited for this new season, and this is the best way to ring it in, right?

Hell yeah! Come to those, they're super fun. Just reading the comments during the show are so great, you know. It's like really rapid fire when there's like hundreds of people all going in at once. It's so funny. You've never experienced anything like it unless you've got the internet. I've had it probably for 20 years, but yeah, It's so funny. You've never experienced anything like it. Unless you've got the internet. I've had it probably for 20 years, but yeah, it's really fun. So get your tickets next week and come join us for that. And today is the beginning of the storyline

we've all been waiting for. The one where Melissa and Joe pretend that they have marital problems because a girl has just run out of things to talk about. Like,, she's like, they don't have a new fake business this year. We're forgetting that she was looking for her long-law sister that a psychic told her that she had last year. I still want to know what happened to that sister. I do too. I do too. Assuming she ever existed.

That's what I love. The fact that that storyline literally may not even exist. I think, you know, we give a lot of shit about the Instagram psychic on Summer House, who says that Lindsey and Luke slept together. We have to remember that before that psychic could run, the New Jersey psychic had to walk. Does that, I think I said that wrong.

But either way, the point is, I did it all backwards. But listen, yeah, walk then, when you did it, you said it backwards, but yeah. Yeah, Melissa's storyline had to walk backwards. But yeah, yeah, Melissa storyline had to walk before Lindsey and Luke's rumor could run. Okay. Melissa storyline had to slide down a pole before the summer house storyline could pop a ping pong out towards the back of the room and hit somebody in the head. Okay. Yeah. And then Cameron Westcott drew a diagram of it. Um, yeah, but um, I actually think that this stupid ass fight, I actually don't think it was as fake as you would think. I really don't, because you have to remember that Joe Gorgah is a, is a, is a short man

with masculinity issues and who has probably been, been mocked by his dearly departed father his entire life. And I think this is the weird manifestation of it. This is not the first time on Bravo that we have seen a fight about walking patterns. Let us not forget, Durinda Mende. Durinda, oh yeah, that's a huge one. Yeah, that's like a riff that will never be mended.

You know, like that is probably still something that Durinda has nightmares about. You know, that is probably still something that Durinda has nightmares about. You're looking at a restaurant? Oh really, I'm just gonna whack at it. The restaurant will be that. Wasn't that the first time we really saw Durinda wasted on Real Housewives of New York? I think it was.

I mean, we may have seen her wasted before then, but that was the first time we saw her just totally irrational. It was actually that they were walking into the restaurant and Durinda wanted to walk in with Heather, which is actually more petty. I think if you just leave someone behind in a restaurant, there's a little bit more grounds to feeling left behind,

but just walking in, that feels a little bit less, less. I don't know, they're both petty. Oh, I thought it was like, Dorinda went to the bathroom or something, and so they walked outside and she's like I can't get you It's okay. What's that? Oh, you fucking bitch. Like who is this crazy woman and why has she changed my life already?

Yeah, that was just that was I think that was the first Berkshire's trip. You know, the first of many wonderful ones. And, you know, very sad we will not be having the Berkshire's on Roni this year. But, you know, well, we're gonna mention it all on on that live show. And but for today, we are here in New Jersey. And the episode opens up with everyone getting dressed to go out for dinner and Dolores is zipping up Theresa's dress and she does it forget stuff. It's like Frank Frank. I'm gonna help me out. We can't get it up Oh Dolores, I got that trouble once in a while. Oh Dolores

And then we get so many billiisms today. We just hear Bill go We just hear Bill go you look gorgeous And then Marge is looking at pictures of Marge senior online He just had a laser treatment and really do you know those things really you just turned your face into a dried booger And guess what I want one so badly. I really want a dry booger face Hmm, so something they would you look like a bowling ball by the time all that skin falls off Yeah, I have these little caterpillars. Have I told you caterpillars? Yes, you did. You just bought some caterpillars. You put it on your Instagram story or something.

Well, my niece, yeah, my niece was like wanting to be little again. She's like 12, you know? So she's like, remember the old days when I was young and fresh. And when she was little, my sister bought her this like little caterpillar kit. And you basically they come with little caterpillars and kind of a jar thing, and you just leave them in there, they've got food and stuff, and then they grow, and then they become butterflies, and you watch the whole process. It's like beautiful.

And she went out of town for some cheerleading, whatever. So I opened it, you know, because she was afraid they were going to die, and now I have these little caterpillar children, and it's so much more disgusting than I ever thought it would be. Like they're shedding and they're parts of their body. You're coming up. Like I think that they're beheading each other because like their heads are gone. And then they're still moving, you know, and then there's like poop, but it's brown poop.

And it's just like skin everywhere. It's really like the making of a season two housewife, you know? Like they come as season one. really like the making of a season two housewife, you know? Like they come as season one. And you're just, you're watching the whole behind the scenes process. A little caterpillar Andy comes by like, Hey, how you feeling about the reunion? Love your new rack.

But then they all turn into mods. Yeah, well, I don't know yet. I'm not at that part yet. Now I'm at the part where they've all gained about a hundred pounds They're just huge. They're living in just like piles of crap It's truly one of the grossest things I've ever seen and I'm just waiting for them to crawl to the top and Caterpillar, you know, cocoon themselves up and you know that go in a Jessica Tandy and come out as Angelina Jolie darling

I I love this journey for you and Marge's face. So Marge's face is basically reminiscent of your DIY catapillar kit. Great. Yes, just watching that old face Chris being crisped off and then a new face underneath. It just reminded me of my new children down there. Okay, so good for you, Marc, senior. Send me the number of whoever you're using.

You know what's funny? Just yesterday, I think I saw what, I think it may have been a cocoon hanging for my ceiling. And I decided that a cocoon on my ceiling, I didn't like that because I thought it might be, I might be a moth, and then that moth might go and eat my clothes So I went to grab the cocoon and then I knocked it I knocked it off and then it like fell into like a pot There's like there's a pile of like stuff and it fell in there

I don't know where it is and I'm like does this mean the cocoon is still gonna hatch It's them is like are the mods gonna win was it even the cocoon is still gonna hatch? Is like, are the mobs gonna win? Was it even a cocoon? What was it? Do you know what those things, I've learned what they go through to even get in that cocoon? They behead themselves, okay? Like they behead themselves, they shed all their skin,

they gain a hundred pounds, nothing's gonna stop them. They're not gonna be stopped by your pile of fucking laundry. I can tell you that right now. They're gonna come out bigger. Stronger than ever. Very upset. Do you know about the Atlas moth? It's like the widest moth.

I learned this from Animal Crossing. It's the widest moth and it doesn't have a mouth. And so it basically lives, it lives for days. It's okay, well now. So those caterpillars or gypsy moth, whatever the equivalent is of a caterpillar for a moth, gypsy moth maybe, that those, they do everything to get into that cocoon

and then they can spread their fabulous wings and then they die a day later How about that because they can't wow they live to turn beautiful and have sex and then die Wow the Karen Moth needs to call the needs to call like the Moth manager because that's just some bad design No, it's very Los Angeles. It's very much like okay darling come here to LA spread your wings Don't eat a bite and find Find yourself a man to procreate with Yes, you've wired your mouth shut to get a job at sir and no you did yeah, let's mop as the new server So I know whenever like learns how to wait tables properly. You know, they just don't have enough time out of the cocoon

So okay, okay, so, uh, yeah, everyone just like getting ready and, and then Gorgas, like Joe Gorgas patting Melissa's ass, he's like, very healthy. Mm-hmm. It's like kind of, I mean, it's a good, healthy ass. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, yeah, it's like kind of, I mean, it's a healthy, healthy, it's yeah, but dick works, but dick works, so somebody did the work. Like he's struggling so hard to prove that his dick works. I just want to know what's going on with his dick. I don't know that there's a lot of blood getting to it because that vein on his forehead,

he looks like a human hemorrhoid. He looks like he has a hemorrhoid head with very wide, unfocused eyes. You know what, he's like flowering right now. So I've been, you know, since I'm trying to grow my little herb garden, I have learned that, which is pretty common knowledge that like if you're growing basil,

you don't want it to, you don't want it to flower because once the flower pops up, all the plant cares about is sending all the energy and hormones to the flower. And so basically he's flowered. Like he's, I don't know where it is, but all his blood and energy is no longer going to his dick it is now going to just temples his temples he's got like the Kyle Richards Botox name basically so

she's like can we just have a nice dinner you know I mean anything that Jen does Marge is gonna be so mad at Jen and he's like yeah they better not I don't want to be embarrassed when you're the one banging tables and throwing shit all over the place, okay? You're the couple that just threw cheese last week in someone's deck, okay? You don't want to be embarrassed. You're staying on a wall once.

So, Jen is, I know. There's a quality end that still got like brown smudges all over the party room wall because you joke or got it's probably in case in glass it's like that it's like that that lady in Spain who tried to retouch that that like fresco of Jesus that's sort of like what his stain looked like so so now so Jen meanwhile I was talking to Bill and she's like my great very vocal about her opinions about me she says her luck here's your to Bill and she's like, Margaret's very focused about her opinions about me. She says, her luck, here's your mouth, I got,

bella. And he's and Bill is like, well, you know, that's just how some people are. So for tonight, don't start anything, play a cool baby. Because Bill is also saying baby a lot now. It's like, yeah, he was like, how do I fit in? I'm just gonna say baby a lot just like my wife

Well actually Jennifer never really says baby I think she said at one time and we just like it so we just say it for every since Set and so she does but it's like Bill can hear us I'd like to think that we're kind of connected to Bill because Bill really is because we're bills becoming more us Or we're something weird is happening in the universe that we're like on Bill's page Because he really does that a couple times today. He's like don't worry about it. Baby Well, it's like the iconic spice girl song to become one Well, that's just don't start with her. Don't start none won't be not baby And she's like I don't start with her, those shot none won't be not baby. And she's like, I don't start with her.

She starts me. Which, you know, of course, Jen did start this entire thing. She did. It's very jurously like who started it? And the one who started it always gets away with the shit. They get mad at the person who reacts always. So then we see, so Joe's downstairs and he's like, he's he's got some shots and each of the guys comes downstairs Which means it's time for the weekly segment there it is with Joe Gorga We're in people walking to a room and he goes there he is there he is

There he is It's like he really needs to declare that someone has arrived in the room and he is in fact there. It's like a really heteronormative door alarm in a convenience store. You know? There he is. So someone asked Marge, are you going to be okay tonight with Jen? I'm not going to shame the Jersey Shore. If that's what everyone's worried about, okay?

I'm using the Jersey Shore. What is this, Ritz Carlson? Give me a break. Okay, we're going to be fine. Everyone here has eaten powdered eggs this morning in the shitty Jersey Shore hotel room. I'm sure they'll be fine with me telling Jen off a little bit Alright, yeah pretty much I've never met anyone who has someone who has like diary of the math like Jennifer, and you know if she starts with me

I will finish it, okay? Do you see what happened to my mother? You think that right those red cheeks are from Lisa's treatment? No, that's from me yelling at her so hot her blood vessels just burst all over, okay? That was for you, John That was for you So the two houses start piling into their vans and Teresa, you know, is of course just like Joe. They're like make out twins or whatever. So she, you know, her vagina still works too It's like I don't got no underwear How could she at the class establishment like a la mondina? So they they arrive and they all can't sit at the

table, same table, because you can't sit more than eight people's at a table, so the men go sit at their own table. I love these. I love COVID regulations. It's a full fucking restaurant of people without masks. Is the wine? Is that really helping anybody? Is that regulation really helping? I'm not believing that it's helping. And now now you know what everybody has to deal with? Noise pollution because of course these yokals, like they sit right next to you and tables across from each other and then spend the rest of the night going, hey Joel, what do you think about that? There you go. There you go. That's true. They got noise COVID. So, um, so the matter is to get the men's table. And so, of course, it bill is like, yeah, you're at the man's table now.

Mmm. And Joe goes, yeah, this is awesome. We haven't guys night. There he is. Great lunch today. You know, we were having a great lunch today, you know, we were having a great lunch today and then bam, these women and Bill goes, doesn't take a lot, baby. Yeah, he loves, he says, baby is so much now. It's like he decided he's like, how do I fit in with these bros? Hmm, I'm gonna go find some of my favorite New Jersey movies and copy their dialogue. But he like never advanced beyond like 1955. Yeah, but he's also like trying to fit it with the guys by using their kind of voice

pattern such cracks me up. They're like, hey guys, you know what we're going to do some tequila shots. Let's get some chill tequila and he goes, yeah! There is that. Not quite Bill. So there's that handsome man. No, no, no, Bill, you gotta say there he is. There's that stud.

Bill, come on, you almost got it. You almost got it. Who's that lady? So this couple, Joe and Melissa, Joe orders for everybody at his table And the Melissa orders for everyone at that table. I don't you know what? I like this couple on TV. I would never want to hang out with this couple. I've dare you Yeah, well I would I don't like is that Joe Gorgas like all right We're gonna get we get some steak some broccoli Rob and

Some bread that should be good enough for everyone. I'm like, dude, you guys are like eight giant animals at the table or whatever. You're gonna need more than that. But then again, it is true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how

much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So Frank's like, guys, what's the agenda? What are we gonna do tomorrow? And they're gonna go on boats and then it's Nono's celebration, which I can't even. Like, please don't bring Nono on my TV and make me sob.

I don't want you to show to cry and feel things, okay? I feel like dead people should just be banned from Bravo. Yeah, yeah, just let's just recess them. Repress them, yeah. So Teresa's like, I can't believe how ugly last night God it did you know my dad always wanted his daughter and his son to get along and I'm glad that Joey night Put the dramas behind us and now I hope everyone else can keep their shits together, huh? Bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing

Which then leads the shots for no no and then Jackie's like, you know when I woke up this morning I thought I was not gonna be having a good day and it was a great day. I had a best time also Meanwhile, I think everyone in the restaurants like covering their ears Yeah, and Bill to bills like to a lovely lady Ladies and Jim's like they haven't shot It's not me ladies. And Jen's like, they're having shots. So does shot.

So there's one she sent us some shots, huh? And she was like, Hey, you girls want to be independent? You can get your own shots. Yeah. Yeah. And then he goes, yeah, like what she did in Lake George,

she's a flirt. It's like she didn't do anything in Lake George. It was all a joke. Oh, yeah, because of the Melissa thing cuz she's like we're not that independent I mean I'll I'll flirt with somebody else if I can get a drink or something and he's like oh, yeah Like you did to me like George right? Yeah, tree. You really got me on that one right? They're like it was just fake, Joe and Trees like I can't believe my brother is still talking about this. I mean, I don't know

Maybe something's going on in the marriage just something if they're still talking like that. Ha. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG the Bravo, like influencer, whatever, who posts, Bravo person, I'm so sorry, you guys. The Bravo account, I started swiping through my phone, I was like, this is gonna be through this. I've put the phone back down. Yeah, someone put out a story about how Teresa

is selling fake luxury sneakers on Instagram. It's like some kind of a storefront that takes your money and you never get the stuff back. And they're like, warning, do not buy these sneakers. Fucking Teresa, learn your lesson. I would think that she was too busy with Joe Judi's developing his line of furniture, which apparently he's doing. Joe Judi's furniture. What you gonna do? Huh? What you gonna do? What can you do? Huh. You just get like a chair with one leg. Yeah, well, what you can do is a stool now, huh?

What can you do? Huh. Way unfair, that's what we called. So, um, uh, so- So- So, the food arrives and, um, uh, the food arrives at the table and Bill goes, Oh, yes, here we go, baby.

I added that baby. I just, you know, it's built here to not add a baby when we're talking about the Aden's. Um, so this is the beginning of the fake fight. So Bill's like, come on, give him the kid. See, he feels vulnerable. He needs his ego strobe. Hey, I got a new gift I can maybe help with that. Joe? Emory Melissa's like, yeah, it's just so high maintenance. It's like kill me already. I'm right. And so we get of course both tables making the same jokes because there are a bunch of heat and the food gets right out and Evan at his table's like has the pus tonight and then it trees table She's like, hi, we got the octopus

Like they've never had octopus before they're just like so excited to make octopus puns, you know So now they're all bring any dish we could say pussy. I mean Was on your pussy like no, you're not just adding pussy to things. So Melissa, some Melissa's like, of course trying to start. She's like, Teresa, I know you're independent now, but like, just remember what it's like to have a man around. Mine's all busy because you think I'm too independent, huh? And Dolores goes, you want my dating advice?

Pay attention to red flags. Specifically, it means there's a sale. I don't want you to lose all your money, okay? Follow the sale signs. Yeah, and if you want my life, I would say, don't let them curse at you. Don't let them curse at you, that's that monster from yesterday.

So Marge is like, you know what? Joe should leave me because I yelled at him. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, you know, that's a red flag to me, baby. I don't talk to Rock and Tariya Tariya to my husband. I was just shocked about that one. By the way, I love Dolores's advice that she should pay attention to red flags when like Dolores has been dating a guy who parks his motorcycle in the

living room and like does not ever want to even touch her. Like, like let's let's talk about the real red flags here. Yeah, um, that's just a very tired flag, I think. Like you're just stating a very exhausted flag, okay? A busy flag. Okay, so that account I was talking about on Instagram is called the Real Bad Fashions. I just wanted to give them credit because, you know,

you do a lot of work. Real bad fashions. You do a lot of good detective work about the fashions on housewives. So get your followers, girl. Okay, so. So Gorgah, he like turns to Joe Benino. There he is. And he goes, you know, last night, I wouldn't let Melissa treat me the way you let

Marge treat you sometimes. And, you know, Joe is just like, well, you know, in the end, Marge and I might argue, but you know, in 10 minutes, it's gone. I got my nice drive shirt on. I'm pouring ice coffee into a fish tank, still haven't mastered it, but you know everything's good. And so it's like you wear the G string and she wears the pants. No, no! I'm like what does that even mean? So then Jenna first like,

you know what Margaret, you're not strange in meanness to say that my husband is my male ticket. Who are you? Some pizza bagel on the side of the street. You know what? You ask probation. It's a stay home and they've offered you a husband. And of course, she's trying to get Jen here with this.

But of course, raising five children is not like, it's not like she's being some slouch. You know what I mean? So all the women are like, uh, yeah, generally I'm on Marcheside, but you know, I'm not Jen's fan, but I stayed home when I had my children. It's like a valid job and trees is like, yeah, you know, I like to build takes care of things You know what women shouldn't have to sign nothing, all right? And if he tells you to sign it sign it Yeah, I you know, I think that they I'm in. Yeah, I, you know, I think that they, Jennifer did a good job of pivoting this into mommy's shaming.

I don't think that's what this was. I think it's a given. I think all these women know and appreciate that raising a kid, you know, several kids is really hard work. And like, I don't think that's what she was saying. I think she was saying that basically, Jennifer, you know, Jennifer can't have a voice in her marriage because the moment that she does,

like she's gonna be tossed out for someone new. I think that's what she was sort of implying. I don't know how true that is, but then they turned it into like mommy's shaming. And I was just thinking myself, where is Kyla Richards to make this about herself? That's where I was at the house. This is classic housewives.

When you're wrong, just say, your mommy's shaming me. Why are you mommy's shaming me? Are you saying I can't raise my children? Is that what you're wrong just say your mommy's shaming me why are you mommy's shaming me are you saying I can't raise my children is that what you're saying Kyle you're not even on this show and Jackie says sometimes it's easier just to have a job than to deal with all those little fuckers basically and she's like you know what yeah just like to put little mom stonch and the mother she'll stand up some large, construct calamari, etcha. So Margaret's like, you know what, you hit very low. When you said that you weren't gonna judge someone

before sleeping with a boss, and you have judged someone for being in a victim position, and she's, you're not a simlike you were sexy to love, bye bye. She's outspoken, sexy. You've been said it wasn't part of the meeting, movement, movement. She was, you know what, I'm saying, it wasn't great of the meeting, man, man, man. She was, well, you know what?

I'm saying it wasn't great, but it was still a man with a position of power over me. Okay? You know what? You have a perception problem. Okay. You're a very bad perception problem. She's like, excuse me. I don't work reception, bitch.

You're gonna say I got a perception problem. Next thing I know, you're gonna say I didn't see a fox in the driveway, baby! Hahaha! And Frank's like, oh god! The women are piping up. I mean, let's get the check before it's too late! Hahaha! So yeah, so then, yeah, Jennifer's, you know, Melissa's like, you know what, if she said

it in girl code, and it's gonna be, you know, then I'm, like, and then you're gonna use it against her, and she's like, she put it in the book, baby. She put it in the book, the whole world's gonna know about it. Oh, baby. Okay, you know what, you know what, you know what, you'll reprocess it when you read it in the book,

or listen to the audio, because, you know, I know you don't understand words and let us or anything like that, okay. I can read my stanker. So, all right, you know what, that. Okay. I can read, Mark. Thank you. All right, you know what? Let's go. Let's go.

This is ridiculous. So, Marge didn't really tell her off. So they go to the Vans and they're walking there and this is where her joke war goes like, Hey, Mal, you've been the wait for your husband or what? Yeah. You don't want to wait for me? Did you have too much to drink, huh?

And then he just like slams the door when he gets in the van like all I can say, what do you mad about, huh? What do you mad about? Yeah, you know what, I'd like my wife to wait for me, all right? It's like you don't even have a husband, all right? Like who's the person who grabbed your, who grabbed your ass like a Christmas hand?

It slapped it this morning and said, yeah, that's nice, huh? What's that person that exists? It's like, you know how hot it this morning and said, yeah, that's nice, huh? What's that person not exist? It's like, you know how hot it is to be the one who always says, there he is, there he is, but no one says to me, there he is, you know what I'm saying? If there's a joke in the jungle, but nobody says there he is,

is there even a joke in the jungle? You know what I'm saying? So, Mar- Joe, Joe just relax, she loves you so much. Is there even a Joe in the jungle? You know what I'm saying? So Mark, you know Joe Joe just relax. She loves you so much just like that She loves you so much and and was like I don't even know what the fuck the problem is You know this is a problem. We used to be so attached and I'm still like that But she just changed, you know you turn it to a business woman You start having your own independent thoughts making your own money and that's like terrible I'll like what's up with that?

Let your wife have something that's around Joe and then she's like you know what I started a couple of years ago When I started Macy's and then after Macy's T.J. Matt for more affordable fashions and you know all day long It's stored a store to store Melissa you're talking about the equivalent of a mall kiosk Yeah, like a strip ball, okay? She's like oh I said now I just have to go to so after Gonna fashion week and trade shows and Donutella Versace calls for me and you know I'm making Ted talks and Tokyo is just so hard owning envy.

I have appearances, red carpets. You know, Chuck E. Cheese isn't gonna walk himself down the red carpet. Okay. So Joe's like, you know what, maybe we just grew apart. That's it. Because maybe we did. And he's like, yeah, you know, you give someone so much love. Because I gave you so much love.

Oh, what, I got to lick your ass forever. You spoil fuck. And of of course everyone's like super uncomfortable Because you know, this is the couple that's just decided to do it in front of everybody. Yeah You're gonna be careful what you say. I'll never talk to you again. You know what that means silent fucking okay We're gonna do it in silence from now on, huh? I'm gonna hit your ass and you're not even gonna know why, right? And she's like, I kissed your ass for so many years and so you can sit home while I go to work and he's like, ah, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna do what you do and I'm gonna walk

away. And I love that Joe Gorga and Marlowe had the same like trajectory this week. Yeah, they just walked like a small distance. How'd that feel, huh? How'd that feel? And Jack is like, I don't want to get in the middle of their marriage, but I think he's being too sensitive. And then they get back to the house, and Joe just goes and sits in the back patio and sulks. And so Margaret pokes her head around, she goes, you had to get her alone,

she goes, yeah. She goes, okay, Joe, go outside. Go talk to him, okay, Joe go outside Talk to go Joe now. I is it me like I mean this is pretty obvious what was happening here I feel like he was Projecting like Senses of loss of control, you know, this whole like with his dad's funeral or memorial and all this, you know, like all these mixed emotions and, you know, no, no, we love no no, we, you know, and you know, it got blessed this whole rest in peace, but let's not also not forget

that christening and we did see a glimpse into no no and jogorgas dynamic. And it was pretty dark. It was basically no-no calling him a pussy. You're a pussy! Yeah, pussy! Oh, pussy! You're a mind-dark! You're a pussy! So here's this guy in the face. Yeah, like he was probably, you know,

he probably got a lot of grief from No-no and like probably suffers from like trying to meet his expectations. And I think at that moment with everything going on, he just probably just projected all that shit onto Melissa, which is my way of saying, like, get some therapy, man. Don't yell at Melissa about your bullshit. I think Joe Gorgo would be so confused in therapy.

I just imagine him in therapy. Like, okay, Joe, I want you to draw something. Okay, just draw some scribbles on the line, Joe. Okay. Okay. Now, Joe, what do you see there? What did you draw? A dick. No, Joe. Come on. It's not a dick, Joe. Look a little harder. A fought. No, Joe. Sorry. What is it? A dick and a fought. A dick and a fought together. All right. All right. Well, time's up. That'll be a fought. A dick and a fought together. All right. All right, well, time's up. That'll be $150.

Thanks for coming to therapy, Joe. There he is. Uh, okay, yes. I'm saying that since we got in here. So anyway, so now Joe, Joe, B and Evan are talking to Joe Gorgah, clearly bored out of their minds, but like their wives have ordered them to talk to Joe. And so he's like, Joe Gorgah. Clearly bored out of their minds, but like, their wives have ordered them to talk to Joe. And so he's like, Joe Gorgah's like,

you know, she's, you know, she's changed a little bit. A little bit, you know what, from, I bought this man, you know, it, it, it bought this man. I was like, if she's only changed a little bit, why are you bothered so much? Yeah, and Jackie's in with the girls. She's like, if you were doing something bad, we'd

tell you about it. And then back with Joey's, I just want to be loved. Is that so wrong? He has like a John Love Itts moment. Like Harvey Firestein. I just want to be loved. Is that so wrong? And then Melissa saying, you know, he's just old school. I married him when I was 24 and I did whatever he wanted me to do. I mean, he was like really jealous. He'd just saying, you know, he's just old school. I married him when I was 24 and I did whatever he wanted me to do. I mean, he was like really jealous.

He'd be like, do not move. And then I would just stand there. And you know what? I thought that was so amazing at the time. Yeah. What? Well, she likes the sense that someone cared about her, I guess. Care to know that to want her to, you know, that weird,

that weird crazy dad he is. Yeah. So then he locked the doors, he locked the doors from the outside so I couldn't leave the house. And it was really the most romantic thing that I've ever been through in my life, you know? I mean, until you wake up within after you're a throat and bed, you really just don't understand how much a man can love you. My right girl. She's like, guys, let's just have a girl girls night and watch a really romantic movie like Sleeping with the Enemy, right? I always watch my heart.

So, um, so Joe, Joe Gorka is like, you know, when I got caught up in my things, you know, I worked, you know, I worked and I worked and I worked, but then I came home and she was my everything, you know, she was my everything. And like, my father was like that. Okay, he molded me into a man I am and I'm watching with my mother And my mother passed away and my father went to cemetery every single day I was like, okay, so you basically want to marry your mom right now He want me to be like your mom essentially. Well, he's saying, you know

She was my everything. Yeah, she was your manny. She was your wife, she was your sex object, she was your babysitter, she was the lady who fucking cleaned your house. It's like, there's more to life, Joe. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that someone's life has changed a little bit. She leaves the house now. Do you listen, Joe, okay, get over it. Welcome to 2021.

Welcome to the 20s. Welcome to the 1950s. Welcome to the 1950s. Welcome to the 1950s. Yes. Thank you. Welcome to the 1950s. Yes. Thank you. That's about to say.

That's not even, it's not even readily available. It's not even available. So there he goes. I call fame the devil. OK, the devil comes into your soul and you forget who you really are. I'm like, you realize your fame is too. You're acting like, oh, she's the only one

who's affected by fame. Like, oh, women are fragile and are just become monsters. Guess what? First of all, when they become monsters, that's when we love them the most. Second of all, what you think growing with Gorgah just came because people in New Jersey decided there was a contractor that they wanted to get advice from. No, you're cashing it on this fame too, so don't shame Melissa for it. Oh, and you know who you have the same opinion as?

Which you were gonna be so excited, Ben. You have the same opinion as Miss Elizabeth Burkins be so excited, Ben. You have the same opinion as Miss Elizabeth Perkins. Who was on Watch Would Happens last night? I know this. And that's what she said. She was like, um, excuse me, but growing with Gorgah, that happened because of Melissa. Oh, Joe, okay. I mean, she's still so Elizabeth Perkins.

She is. When I turned on the recording, I saw like the last like 10 seconds of watcher happens live when they're all waving at the camera and like everyone's waving and the Elizabeth Perkins is just like sitting there with a reticent smile on her face like, have I done my duty? Can I go back to my blames and on my catalog? Thank you. I know.

Can I go back to being better than everybody here? Thanks. Can I go back to being better than everybody here? Thanks. Can I go back to trying to purge chopsticks on a John Keyboard from my brain? Thank you. So Jackie is telling Melissa, Do you know what? It's just a joke I used to you being his little bitch. That's what. And if I do everything he means, he's fine, but then if I don't, he freaks the fuck out. And I'm not going back to that. And then Joe comes in and he's fine, but then if I don't, he freaks the fuck out. And I'm not going back to that. And then Joe comes in and he's like,

listen, nobody said nothing bad about you, all right? You're just too involved in the work, and all right? You need to realize you've got boobs, okay? Boobs need to be at home. That's just it, all right. Isn't it a global pandemic? Are we to believe that like during this global pandemic, throngs of people are still just like pulling Melissa

Gorga away from Joe so that she has to tend envy, you know, to sell a green jacket. What, I mean, he really needs to chill out. He should be so lucky to have Melissa, you know, because she is the one making those grilled cheeses for all those kids, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So she's like, how am I even different? He's like, just a little bit.

She goes, yeah, from the 24 year old you met, Joe, yeah, I'm a little different. Okay, I dance on the floor now. Okay. And he's like, you know what, I don't wanna talk about it. It's just different. I'm just different now.

Oh. Oh. He's like, my parents taught me what love looked like and that's what I want. I'm just a friend. I'm just a friend. I'm just a friend. I'm just a friend. I'm just a friend. I'm just a friend. I'm just a friend. I'm just a friend. He's like, my parents taught me what love looked like, and that's what I want. And she's like, well, this is what you got. All right. So then in the morning, it's really super intense.

And Teresa's nervous. And she's like, you know, I'm really tempted it because the whole first day was arguing. And I feel like we've been here for days. Yeah, and then Joe Gorgas, like outside on this huge deck with Evan, and they're like stretching and everything, and Marge is talking about him and he goes, you know, I love Joe.

But he's a little bit caveman style, just a little bit. And it's like, are you saying that because he happens to be dragging in a saber-to-tiger from the beach? Like, he's very caveman, very, very caveman. Yeah, he really is. So Frank is on his boat because they're all gonna go to lunch on boats. We all got boats, all right.

So Dolores is like, hey, look, Frank, you know what I thought was gonna happen? I thought I was gonna wake up and there was gonna be breakfast there. You know, you know what was there? A lot of back here in the shower drain. Frank, could you explain to me what's going on? We called out a red flag.

Where I'm from. Okay, I'm old school. We call it a red flag. Okay. So Frank is like, so she's like, you know what? Frank, since you went on a boat trip to who knows where it's seven in the morning, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get some breakfast.

Okay, what do you want? He's like, ah, okay, how about this? Egg whites, turkey bacon, plain bagels, scoops, get me a scooped! And then Bill's like, ooh, I'll have the same thing that he's having. Maybe I'll have the same muscles. Mmm, big. Strong muscles that need to be oiled up by an innocent soul nearby. Yeah, strong muscles. Mmm. And Theresa and Zee, a gender brother, and Theresa goes, Strong muscles. Mmm. Tristan G. Jenner by the water and Trisca's fucking the swind. You know why I had dogs at the funeral Who's gonna tell Teresa that those are different birds? Yeah And that like

birds Birds Birds are special and they do they do cat carous Symbolic meaning but they also do show up at places pretty like I'm looking at a bird right now to be honest. There's a lot of birds. Yeah. It's like you're holding a hoagie in your hand. Okay, it's not that deep. Yeah. Also, I want to point out one thing that we did gloss over was a very important scene of Melissa saying, I need to go on a bike ride because biking is

very therapeutic for me and then she just pedals off and then like five seconds later she just back unexplained. I was like, oh, well, that was, thank you for that, that, that slice of life, that, that, that insight into the way Melissa Gorgah operates. How a fashion maven, how she gets by in the world. Yeah, I think she came back because the camera crew didn't follow her. She's like, what the hell, guys, like we're exhausted. Okay, you're not taking us on a fucking bike ride. You're not Kathy Wikeley.

I'm about to say that. Like, we did this once with Kathy Wikeley. It didn't work out, okay? So she's found the donut place on the shore and they're gonna deliver. And so the girls were like, how do you feel after last night? She's like, I gotta be honest.

It was just not very easy. And then they ask Joe, the guys were asking Joe, Benino's asking Joe specifically if anyone cares how he is. And he's like, I'm really upset, right? You know what, I just jerked off right now. Oh, just finished the game. God, I'm so mad. And Joe's like, you know what?

You just gotta talk it out. Being mad isn't gonna help. Just say is there a room you'd like for me to remodel? Or would you like some coffee that's fresh out of the steamer? You know, she loves that. I, Joe, you gotta put ice on it. God damn, he's never gonna learn.

Do you know how many shirts everyone because he put coffee in the iron? Okay, it just doesn't work that way, Joe. Okay. So then, so by the way, those donuts, that most most of us, I found this great place that has donuts. I'm not having it delivered. Never saw a donut. No donuts.

Just like a big donut, T's. I did not appreciate that. So Melissa feels guilty. And so Joe Gorker comes inside and he's like, hey, this is my wife. Hey, if I ruined last night, I'm sorry. You know, I just want you know, marriage isn't easy, you know, it's work. I told you I don't want you working.

No, Joe, he's a cave man. He's a cave man, Melissa. Okay. You know, we're gonna go outside. You guys just talk about this, okay. And Joe's wearing a t-shirt that says, Defined Apparel. So let me look, let me look that up.

I feel like that's important. This is important. Opening a prediction around. I feel like. I feel like that's very important. Hottest trends, classic D hoodie, Jersey grind hoodie. Okay, so this is obviously one of them, right? Let's see how it owns this.

I don't know what you mean by that one of them. Like a Jerseyite. Why not? I'm like a woman of the cast, one of the cast members. Define. Okay. Shout out to Joe for always repping our brand and showing some love. Okay. Define, small, de-apparel, Franklin, New Jersey.

To see how favorite Real Housewives of New Jersey stars Joey Gorgham, Melissa Gorgha, tune in tonight. Okay? Wow, it's a great endorsement from Defined. Like, yeah, here's our signature Joe Gorgham, the front, it says there, and on the back, it says he is. Yeah. And their Facebook is basically pictures of Melissa and Joe.

Yeah, so anyway. And the guy at the door kind of like a knockoff Joe. Okay, I had to know, if any of you had to know, they're welcome. Yeah, so anyway, and the guy that looks like a knockoff Joe Okay, I had to know if any of you had to know there you're welcome So Joe so Joe Gorga is mad that Melissa is devoting a smidge of time to selling clothes at her store while simultaneously He is selling his friends shirts on TV Yeah, so I'm a list of like a really salient point, but it actually was Not that it was like not an interesting point at all. It was like it wasn't it really wasn't your fault I went from the Facebook thing where I was trying to figure out defined and then I went through my notes trying to figure out

Where I was and then I saw hold on the donut man is here So now I'm very confused because you're upset that there's no donuts. No donuts. We never saw the donuts. The donut man arrived, but it's like it was in MacGuffin, right? Like it's like it was like the suitcase and pulp fiction. We never got to see what was inside. I mean, that donut box opened up and I saw golden glow, but I didn't actually get to see the donuts. So Joe's like, we're going through issues. Donut man arrived.

And Melissa's like, Joe, listen, I don't watch you running dinners all the time. Okay, like let's just have a good time. That's the assistant. And yeah. If you want to make out, come to me. If you want to fight and then make out, go to Teresa. Okay. So now everyone's getting dressed for the No No Thing

and Bill's putting on Jen's shoes. Mm, straps. Maltese, you know, so many, so many Jenn's shoes. Mmm, straps. Mother, you want so many straps. So many spikes on those shoes. And she, Luba time, no pain again. Baby.

It's the pizza bagel of shoes. And if anyone is wondering if Teresa's sexuality is still alive and well, she comes down and addresses lemons on it and goes I PLEMENS ON MY MINE! Maybe someone will want to suck my mines! I just it's like I just I just don't think of lemons as a generally sexual Fruit right like I mean you pucker You pucker but like you know strawberries peaches and everything like who wants to see put my doing huh who wants to sneak my

Darien it's like that's not that's not you want to I got a job fruit right here right who wants a grapefruit with no sugar on it huh so they get on both houses get on their respective boats to go to to go to this classy place. And Joe's like, you know what? Look at me. I support Melissa. Right. She wants to work. We hire her in Opa.

Okay. Anything to ease her mind so I can spend more time grabbing a ham. All right. Because the kids are there with the nanny and Melissa's like, come on. We've got to get on the boat. And Joe's like, oh my god. I'm getting a phone call alright? Because the kids are there within the Annie. And Melissa's like, come on, we gotta get on the boat. And she was like, oh my God, I'm getting a phone call again. Another phone call, I call them back in 20. Another phone call, oh my God. Yeah, and they're on the boat.

And Melissa goes up and stands by Joe while he, you know, Captain Glems it up. And she's like, look at me, honey, giving you so much affection while you drive this boat and he goes, okay Okay, guys can I say something we just add sex in the back? Okay, and I'm saying this because you know I never was like oh like we already heard it. We heard the sex. We heard all your Arizona iced tea cans rattling, okay? I just want them to know we in sex alright right, that's what I'm trying to say and

Benino's like yeah, you just got to keep working on it. Okay, so they I love job and you know so much So understood so they are yeah, he's wearing a pineapple his you say he's under so he's in like a pink pineapple shirt Well, I mean his attitude is I mean his fashion You know the mixed collection so yeah, so they arrive at like lands and waters edge LL being the factory restaurant I don't know so They're there and they sit down two tables. We can act go for regulation. No, I'm saying and And you know Melissa really loves a special drink everywhere they go Melissa gets a special drink the last place she's like I'll have

the special watermelon and this time she's like I'll have this special pineapple thing she's like me because I go to a restaurant and they'll if they have like if what if there's like chicken here's here chicken in a, I don't know, some basil sauce, I don't know what, like they have a dish they say, if they just say our special, you know, our house special sauce, I'm like, wait. This is a house special.

I have to try, I'm so one over by like. You really do, you love a special. And I'm not one over at all because I'm a waiter So I look at the person giving me the specials and I'm like first of all don't look me in the eye Second of all die because you're trying to sell me the meat that you didn't sell the rest of the week Get the fuck away from my table Mariner, but whenever they say things like this is our signature dish I'm like well, I mean how do I come here not get this in your dish? Like, sure, the description is that it's a piece of rubber on a plate, but it's their signature. So I think I got to try that.

Waders are liars. Waders are like strippers. They are always going to pretend they like you and have your best interest in heart. Okay. They do not. That is not the truth. They at the beginning of the night of service. The chef tells you, listen, this fish is about to go bad. We got to push it. Push the fish. Whoever pushes the most fish is going to win like a bottle cap or whatever. And then you go out and you try and push it. So when you ask the waiter, what's good?

They're like that fish. That shitty rotten fish. It's about to be thrown out. That's what's good. I'm going to win a bottle cap sucker the bottle cap victory So Teresa Oh We're in lemons is lemons are like pine apples without hair on top, huh? That's cool I'm making believe I'm in a capri right now. At which point you know like Doreet was just like furious

So Evan's like oh yeah, no, no, whoa, you know what time you sit in he's like yeah, I dated a lot of European girls I got my other kids in Argentina currently and they're like It's like this is not the season to make that job. Yeah, Jackie is just like, Jackie does like a big laugh. Like, ha ha ha ha ha. It's fun, it's fun. So, are you gonna cry?

No, I'm not crying. She's gonna cry, everybody. She's not about to cry. Mm. So, Jackie is about to lose it. Everyone, hey, everyone, we're gonna need some space around these two tables. She's about to blow any second, okay?

Can we get some space? So Joe's like, I'm shaking today. I just don't know what it is. I'm like, maybe because you've like fought and fought like 10 times before breakfast, sir. Yeah. And Melissa's like, yeah, I was arguing. She turns around and talks to Teresa.

She's like, I was arguing with him a little a little Well, he just needs more attention And she's like, oh my nice guy to be all over me, you know, I'm gonna be all you So then Frank is like, hey, hey, yo, hey, remember, you remember we do shaft sales with him. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, the sheriff's sales. I was like, wait, what are sheriff's sales? Did I hear that correctly? Sheriff's it. Sheriff's sales. That's what I wrote down to sheriff's sales. What are those? I don't know. Do you, but I mean, it's Jersey. Maybe you literally buy sheriff's. Well, you do, yeah, you know, that, you know, there's shady politics there. Yeah.

So maybe they are just buying sheriffs. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember that sheriff who looked the other way when, when I bought those things for the gym, huh? So then, so they go off to go talk to this JR fella. And then Jackie and Theresa are talking about tonight. And and Jackie's saying how like Joe Gorgas seems very anxious. And there was like a fight last night. And, you know, you know, you know, they're just talking about Melissages seems very anxious and there was a fight last night. You know, they're just talking about Melissa and Joe's fight and everything. And meanwhile, Joe's phone just keeps ringing over and over and over again. It's someone in realtor, Jezel. And Melissa starts getting suspicious.

Yeah, I was too. I mean, I totally fell for this. Me too. I was like, of course, he's cheating on her. Of course. And that's why he's acting like an asshole. Because whenever a guy's cheating on you He starts to do something that makes you mad at him. So you'll break up with him, right? Yeah, so I totally fell for it

And it just keeps ringing and ringing and ringing and not stopping and so she calls the number back and they hang up on her And everyone's like what is going on? so They start talking about, she talks about her argument again with the girls and the Laura says, you know what I heard about it. And you know what, sometimes there's an insecurity, right? I mean, he's raised that he's the man. He's raised if you're a certain height, you can go on the roller coaster. He's never gone on the roller coaster. You know what I'm saying? How do you think that makes him feel? Melissa, she was raised by a man who shamed him for never going on the roller coaster

It's very difficult. Okay, and then Gorges sits down and he's like, wow, what are you talking about? You know, that's how I feel Joe, you know, I know where you're coming from. Should I mention old school? I don't think I've said old school personally about myself yet. I'm old school, you know, and I know where you're coming from and You know, you want to be the one that's taking care of her and you know she's a very high maintenance brat. We all agree. But that's your brat for you to take care of, you know? I'm like, yeah, but you know for 15 years, a marriage has been fucking amazing and lately she's been working more than ever. Okay, she's a little different now, a little different. Joe, you know, I just wish I could get in your head. You know, I have not been in such a quiet space

in a long time. I mean, I imagine just sitting in your head is like being in an isolation tank, Joe. And I could really use that, you know? But I will tell you this, this girl is crazy for you. Okay. Yeah, she's crazy for you. You guys are still hot for each other

like the first day you met, okay? I remember that day clearly. You were walking by supercuts, you saw a flyer on the ground for a strip club, next thing you know, babies. So don't fight with her for this shit, okay? Don't waste the best years of your life worrying about the stuff that doesn't matter, okay? So the phone is buzzing again and she's like, what is Melissa? It's like, why is your phone keep going off? And he's like, just real that they want some money, which is also just like such a thing that Joe would say because you know that that's true at all times. Yeah, well, this is like, yeah, but this one's calling like five times in a row. This is really weird. Joe, uh-oh, now he's in trouble. Now he's in trouble. And she goes, you know what, you guys are punking me.

Okay, you're not gonna punk me. And he's like, and no one pulls a fast one on Joe Gorgah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know what went by my head, but it was fast one. Whatever that was. So Frank was texting him the whole time, and then we see the hatching of the plan joke where he's like all right Here's what we're gonna do's okay. We're gonna go to lunch and then I'm gonna pretend like this is sale of sheriffs

Okay, whichever was gonna buy all right, and then it turns then Frank just stops limping it turns out his knees were never attacked in the first place You guys have been working on this way too hard. Teresa drops a coffee mug. So then, so now it's after launch, now it's going to go home to the kids. And now it's time for everyone to get ready for NONO's celebration of life, et cetera. And so everyone's the little winner in here in makeup and Joe Gorgah brings Melissa some iced coffee

in a wine glass. I mean, it's really catching on. Wine glass iced coffee. Milky wine glass iced coffee, just like the modul likes it. And then they start making out in the makeup chair and the kids are like, ah, stop.

Yeah. And then everyone's just getting ready and pills like, look at you, baby. I like you and what? Ula. Ula. Ha, ha, ha at you, baby. I like you and what? Ula! Ula! Ha! Mm, sexy.

So, though, people are arriving at this. What turns out to be probably the classiest event we've ever seen on New Jersey, I- Truly. I've never seen them throw such a nice party. It was really nice. It was really touching. Everybody was in white. And the biggest miracle of all is everyone's clothes stayed white. Yeah was really nice. It was really touching. Everybody was in white. And the biggest

miracle of all is everyone's clothes stayed white. Yeah. I know. That's a lot of spray tan and marinara sauce. Fear clothes to stay that white the whole night. And a lady named Dawn came by and she she brought like a portrait of No No that I guess she painted. It was, you know, the thought, amazing. It's the thought that matters. And then we cut to it like 45 more times like N year's Don's portrait. And another one, let's look at Don's portrait again.

And Don's portrait, and Don's portrait. So I loved that portrait. It was badass. It was like Neon with Nona with an open shirt, just chilling with the cigar like, ah! What are you looking at? What'd you like a piece of me, huh?

It was very eye-catching, you know. So then Tree gives a speech, God bless her heart. She's like, guys, everyone went a lot to my dance. He was so full of life did it. That's when me and my brother get a section that's miss miss did it. I was like, please just stop reading off the card, man, please. And also the white swans came back, which was which was special. And also, Frankie, Frankie, Katania comes in.

And Dolores goes, my Frankie, I felt him, my uterus hurt. And then a lot of speeches and it gets really, really sad and I was spreading out salties, which I really don't like. I feel like I've got a medical problem whenever I cry. Like my whole face just like, you know, it looks like I've been stunned by a lot of bees. I'm just not an attractive cryer. And then, you know, you start thinking about all the other things

that you could really be crying about. I know. It just became a messy mind over here. OK. Gia did a speech. I mean, Gia, this is like her. This is her specialty. It's like a very heartfelt moment.

That's why she is kind of like ruling the internet at the moment. So she gives a very, very lovely speech. And it's just like very sad. And then like, then like, there's like one second where they like speed up the music and they're like dancing or derives party time and then it gets sad again like right away. And you know, they're just like, you know, more sad moments. And then we got to Jen, Jen, Jennifer Aiden maintaining the bravo tradition of not knowing how to go shot shot shot shot shot shot she just goes shot shot

She does like the ringtone version Yeah, just two shots, and then she just drops it so There we are cheers to no no rest of these no no no and and everyone else who has No, rest of the keys, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, it will, you will have it. You will have it. So, um, uh, don't forget, Mark your calendars for Tuesday at noon on the East Coast. That's when the tickets go and sell for our live show. And we'll catch you on the next podcast episode. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors.

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