Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Cabo San Locas

Episode Date: February 1, 2019

The Real Housewives of New Jersey head to Cabo to punch vases, throw glasses and ride camels. Will The Marge make it out alive? This week's bonus is shot by shot of the new RHONY preview. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Ben in the Streets Ronnie in the Sheets shirts avail this week only! **Crappens Live is coming to Dallas next week on Feb 8 and 9, then we're hitting up the Just For Laughs Comedy fest in Vancouver. Then Cincinnati, Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. She ain't no mascot, Mackie Glasscott! Aaron McNickalus, she don't miss no trickle-ists.

Just saying, okay? Kristi Wowardy-Dowardy, Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelowny. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the bird. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God, I love that banana. Anderson, hot dang, it's Jessica Dang.

Lisa Wallint, now that's what I call wallentainment. Hava Nigeela Weber, she ain't no mascot, it's Maggie Glasscott. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Susie going to the Tobin. Kelly Grant, the Grant Master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. Solo K with Wellington to pray! And Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother f- We love you guys! I've been spent this all in profits. You would cry. Oh, when you don't lose your hand.

You can't just watch. I've been spent this all in profits. Hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast about all that crap. We just love to talk about on Yeo Browse. I'm Ronnie Caram. I'm also on the Roots for Expatch, the Roast podcast. That one is really super fun this year.

Go check it out. I also did two other shows this week. I did Amy Phillips on Sirius. We'll do that after this. And Danny Pellegrino's everything iconic. We recapped the Lindsay Low and Lowhan show together. So go check him out. We love that guy.

And here I am with my little partner, Bestie, Mr. Ben Mandelker of the Real Houseways of Kitchen, Ireland. Yes, Madelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen, Ireland. Yes, I was just working on the latest episode right before this, and it's almost done. I just have to like finish doing all the lip syncing, which is the most tedious part of the animation process, but a new episode will be up either today or tomorrow. I'm happy to say. Oh, good.

Right now, I was watching you work on that on the plane cracking up. Were you watching that? Yeah, while I watched the giant shark movie, Meg. Right. Meg, you very classy movie. And I feel like that movie is sort of like a visual representation of this week's episode of Real House on New Jersey, you know, yes, Meg is Danielle, basically. Why don't you around your baby shocks? Where are you children, man? Where are your children, shocks?

Where are your children, shocks? You know, this, well, first of all, we'll get to Jersey. That's what we're recapping today. But everybody, of course, we're going to show our live shows. We're going to Texas next week. Okay, we are going to have so much fun. Friday night, we have a very special guest. We are going to be recapping. Okay, we are gonna have so much fun Friday night. We have a very special guest We are gonna be recapping real housewives in New Jersey and we're not telling you who's coming

But it's gonna be a lot of great people hopefully coming or one or maybe just my mother either way or just baby Ron is mom Which is also by the way good enough. Yeah, that's a pretty Characters self. Okay, if you want to see some real fur Please do not bring your spray paint because she will probably be in a fur and something fur on top. And probably a fur hat just to piss me off because you know that's how moms are playing for elites. Yes. Like anything that makes me mad, you know, we're like each other's child. So it's probably show up in full fur. So yeah, that's gonna happen Friday and then. Good lightning. Oh, we should also say that there's a full on thunderstorm happening,

which is very rare in LA. And either of our power and make about this recuno as well do the recording. And you might hear thunder. Yeah, it's, I think it like hit the street outside my house because all the cars went off. There was just the whole house. The dog jumped in my lap. And my dog is a man, okay, he does not It's very manly, but he is like whoa Yeah, we definitely had that happen here. It was like a muscle car drove through Yeah, and I hear it. It sounds like there's a giant outside terrorizing the neighborhood. It's like boom Yeah, so then after Texas, we are going to be going to the just for last festival in Vancouver

first time, and we got a real theater this time, which is going to be a my thing while cap are in the area. So come see us there. And then we're going to a lot of other places. I'm going to let Ben say those because I can't do it. I'll just try to do them really quickly. It basically, we're going, we have shows still available, tickets still available in Portland and Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, not necessarily in that order.

I may have missed one or two, but if you go to watchrocrapins.com, you'll just see the tickets there at the links to tickets. Make sure you get them now because what happens is there's always a rush towards the end. And then someone gets, does not get a ticket, and then they're like, but I wanted to take it so badly. So get your ticket now, so that way you don't have to go through that, okay?

And as always, I should always, I would like to say, don't be afraid about going alone, because if you go alone, you will make a friend. I will guarantee you, this is your people, okay? It's a very special thing to be at a show, a room with all your people. I never know what's going to happen at our show. You never know who's going to show up or what's going to happen. So we really recommend it.

Now this is actually a segue here because originally for our Dallas show next Friday our plan was to do below deck, but it's going to be a below deck reunion and sometimes those are actually like surprisingly calm affairs And that's just like not what we want for a live show So we decided to pivot over to a real house as a new jersey Recap and I know that like not everyone is still on board with New Jersey We had someone tweet a desk saying like oh, okay fine. I guess I'll have just like cram 13 episodes in You know what you will thank us because this season is this like like we are this this this is for you We are we are help us help you because we are Jersey is so good this season

It is so fucking good and in case you have any questions Example a last night's episode Yeah, it's really it's really showed you that when a show starts to suck on bravo, don't just give up on it, you know, because they usually come back around. And this, you know, I hope you're listening O C and make some kind of a fucking effort this year. That would be nice. But Jersey is singing like it is just great again. And I hear that Beverly Hills is going to, I mean, everyone here is that Beverly Hills is going to be really good everyone here in the Beverly Hills is gonna be really good.

So, you know, just keep the faith, okay? Come on, Paul. I think it's actually, I mean, look, Potomac sort of had, I thought I had a pretty good first season and not so great second season, but then third season, it was like I came alive, you know, and this is a great example. This is probably the best example of a show

that was once great, and then it just like fell apart. And we sat through about three or four terrible seasons before it started to show signs of life. And then last season was really good. And then this season, it's like, okay, this is now a premium housewives franchise again. So like Ronnie said, don't give up on your favorites. People just stick through it.

And it's cyclical. It's like the economy. Sick, sick, sick. this is such a sick shot, this shot, this is sick. So are you are we ready to dive into this episode? Because it was an amazing. Yes, and you know, I was also thinking bless us. Thank you for this episode, but got it better continue next week because if it gets suddenly, you know, when they have these big fights on one episode in the next week, it's like, Teresa's going shopping for bikinis. I know, but the thing is that,

and the thing is that this week's episode, they didn't give us a preview of next week. So I'm like, you know, yeah, so I get scared, but, um, oh, and I want to say one other thing now that I'm also properly caffeinated. I have to say, and I saw as one of our listeners posted this in one of our, one of the Facebook groups, and I actually really agree, gosh, I am really, I'm really feeling Melissa Gorker this season, and especially last night, like, this is just sort of jumping head really to the very end and we'll come back to it obviously,

but like, watching her just like get so mad right there at the end, it was almost like, what I didn't even realize I needed or wanted from her, but watching her get like get so mad right there at the end. It was almost like what I didn't even realize I needed or wanted from her, but watching her get that mad, I was like, yes, cause she's been playing nicely, nice deeper a few seasons now, and watching her just get pissed off,

I found it to be surprisingly exciting and liberating. I was like, yes, Melissa Gorga, yes, rise up the ranks for me, please do this. Even I was sharing for Melissa Gorgon. That's rare for me. Yeah, I know you hate her. You've always really not liked her. You know, because she's so fake,

like she's so such a faker about everything. And I love watching a pissed off woman. Yeah, that's why I watch this show, okay? I love it in real life. I live it on TV. And so yeah, watching her just lose it. And then watching her in Teresa scream at each other for real when it's not like

You know when it's like something real yeah, just both get caught up in it's so funny. Yeah, it was great Okay, so we'll circle back to that obviously when we get to it in the recap. So let's just like dive in let's let's The the episode opens up you the usual thing where everyone's in bed There's like a lot of face timing in this episode. I felt like every other scene was someone face timing someone to give them an unimportant update. Like, yeah, so I went to the buffet, how'd I an English muffin? Good. I don't know if it was Thomas's, but it was a good brand. I liked it.

Yeah, it was very, yeah, very apple centric in this. And I just felt bad for any housewives cast remember who has like an Android phone because they're not going to ever be able to speak with their husband. Yeah, never. Never. So Joe and Marjor talking in bed and he's like such a typical husband, Joe.

Don't you think like I've never even been close to being married, but I'm mad. This is probably why and he seems very sweet. But it's like, Joe. Joe, you can't hear me, Joe, because Joe, Joe turned around because that's the dead spot in the house. He's like, whoa, okay. And then turns right into the dead spot,

so it keeps coming in and out. And I like that's such a husband, you know? And I just don't wanna be abusive. And I feel like if that's in my house, I'm gonna hit it with something, not my fist, because I'm not a monster but there will be a lot of remote controls thrown at heads uh... you know

maybe accidentally start his pants on fire while i'm lighting a cigarette you know shit like that i don't want to become that person yeah i think the only thing worse than like a typical husband who just like walks the phone into the dead zone is a typical husband who walks the phone into the dead zone that he was supposed to renovate like six months ago. Yeah, exactly. So then three calls. No, no, no, nothing happens.

Is he just working to say no, no, no, no. Then Dolores face times Frank. She's like, well, the sun's finally out. I kind of feel like this is what must be like in Florida when I'm when you're down there in Florida And I'm over in the kitchen and I'm just alone and I'm eviscerated What's going on Dolores? So what's your beach batty? Yeah, you're being an asshole right now Frank, right? They're being an asshole. Hey Dolores. I spilled all the pasta on the on the counters for you to clean up when you get back. You like that? Dolores? You're like that right now. Dolores. So then Melissa and Jackie are getting ready to go. I have a Jackie is such a funny first year housewife because she's doing everything she's supposed to do like pretending to have planned a

camel trip. You know, like she's going along with the fakery pretty well, but she forgets that she she's being recorded. So we've already heard this stuff a million times. She's like, what are you doing today? I'm like, uh, you guys, we already all know you're going to the pool. Yeah. It's always going to be it's a house of trips. That means half you guys are going to go to pool slash spa and the other half we go shopping. That's just the way it is. Don't need to ask about it. We know the drill. Yeah, so they're all they all start gossiping about last night. And everyone's like, Oh my God, I wonder how Jennifer's doing because, you know, Jennifer was called a monkey asshole lips. Well, her lip to be fair. Marge said you're a lip lot. Your lip liner is on point. Something like like what about your lip liner? You look like a

monkey's asshole, which is technically an insult to how she did her lip liner. And I felt bad because even Marge later on the episode was like, well, you know, I insulted her lips. I'm like, no, you insulted her lip liner because there is a big difference between insulting someone's lips versus their lip liner. Because lip liner is like an easily fixable thing. And lips are like, you know, that's like who you are. Well, except

with the exception of, I mean, you do have to, there's an ass risk there because she is, you know, like married to a plastic surgeon. So who knows where those lips have been. But like, meaning like what have been done to them. But what am I point of my trying to make? I'm just trying to say that when Jennifer wakes up and she starts telling us about Margaret saying, you know, it's, it's totally offensive to her to remark in my looks. And like, she wasn't remarking on your looks, like, in terms of like what your genetically, like, came out into this world as, she's remarking about the right, the do terrible lip liner.

Yeah, calm down over there, Jennifer. Yeah. So like, I would open that Pandora's box if I talked about her looks. I was like, it would probably hurt your lips too much I couldn't even mention the word pan door. Isn't that a competitor to her brother? No kidding. She's like didn't you know my brother has a box? Like you can't say the word Jared around her either Jared, why did you go see Jared? You could have seen my brother.

Don't even get me started on sale. What a bitch. You know what? I won't even buy Mary K. Okay. Because every kiss begins with K and every Mary K has a K in it. Okay. I can't even say, okay, I just go, oh, hey. Jennifer is super fun to watch.

Really glad she's on the show. Monsters human being never want to know her or anybody like her and you know Great addition and I say this often, but it can't be said enough to those of you who are always getting on every little fucking thing about Pollution why don't you get on Jennifer? Pete just dropping horrible people all over the world. Do you know how much pollution that is? I know she a lot of pollution over the world. Do you know how much pollution that is? I know she's a lot of pollution. She tries to FaceTime her kids and I just sounded like a demon emerging from a tomb as well.

I mean, talk about, I mean she literally can, she literally can open Pandora's box. It is literally in her house. She FaceTime's it. Yes, it's crazy in there. And then you don't, they show the phone what she's looking at. You can't even see anything. It's literally a blur because the kids are running around screaming and probably cutting each other. Yeah, it's like, that's what it looks like inside the vault

in the basement of the Ghostbusters house. Sigorni Weaver is just waiting to be saved somewhere behind one of the toilet. She's like, please. Sigourney weavers just waiting to be saved somewhere behind one of the toilet Rick Moranis is just like being chased by her kids through Central Park So then tree and Danielle are hanging out they get a breakfast delivery and trees like Danielle's like run chilly I can't have have bell pepper. It does something to my stomach Daniel's one of those people who's like I have like stomach issues, but then is always fine getting totally wasted Have you ever considered that you've eaten up your stomach lining?

Yeah, exactly exactly yeah, and I mean I feel like usually if you are if you have a weak stomach like booze is not good for weak stomachs It's not good for strong stomachs either to be honest. Yeah, I'm just trying to help. Is it? Okay, it's poison, you know, you know So To read so Danielle's like could you bully Margaret calling her lips a monkey's ass unbelievably rude monkey's f unbelievably rude. She's curious.

Danielle being sanctimonious on this trip is just like the best thing ever. I mean, Daniel is a monster. She is like a terrible, terrible monster, but she's so essential to this group dynamic. Like, like, I really feel like Danielle was sort of the missing, the missing piece of the past for New Jersey. I hate to say that she's a monster. She is a full on monster, but we need our monsters. She's horrible. Okay, you want to talk about unbelievably rude.

She wasn't invited to that Andy baby shower. And this is according to Facebook, okay? So don't anyone get on my ass if this isn't true. But from what I heard in my little circle, Facebook, she wasn't invited to that Andy Baby shower. And so she went to page six and complained about it. So he texted her an answer to come. I mean, that is so dead y'all.

Yeah, she's a monster, but he'd need her. It's a monster who we need. And I have to also think, we finally set up our little PO box here so people can send us stuff. And it's already like really like turning out well because someone, one of our listeners, Kat, she sent us a copy of Arthritis magazine with Daniel stop on the cover. And I just have to say, like, congratulations Daniel, you were an hour

with an official cover girl, you made it to the, you know, Arthritis magazine is like, you know, that's like one step away from Boog and the the profile of her in that article was really, it was really moving, especially when she talked about how she's like, you know what, I love dancing, I love salsa, I also like the waltz because I like a box step because that way I have a box and he can like, follow me, but you can't get close to me and I like that, I like that play I was like wow thank God for our threat as magazine really showing us new layers of Daniels top Oh my god, and I like the cover. She's wearing a sweater and kind of pulling it down over her hands That is that correct us in my memory. I can look

I mean a sweater. Yeah, she's yeah, she's just like in a sweater, but it's hanging, it's sort of sitting around her like she's like a pharmacist. Yeah, she's like, look, it's Daniela. Oh, so there. They all start talking about the night before and we cut back to everybody, cut back and forth to everybody's room.

And Marge is still talking to Joe and she's come up with her new name for Jen and she just loves it. So she's gonna repeat it and try and make a cast on she's like The cocktail queen okay the cocktail queen jet all right the cocktail queen got it the cocktail You know, I love March. She's one of my probably my favorite housewives right now But I do feel like her name game is not the strongest. I mean, last season was,

well, I'm gonna ask her to ask my own claim because last season she had soggy flicker. This season it's cocktail queen. And the funny thing is about her little names is that they're like, you're like, oh, I feel like you could have done better. And yet they do really piss off the other women. So maybe they are perfect after all.

Yeah, they're working for their intended purposes. Yeah. So then Dolores is telling Frank about the whole jewelry fiasco, et cetera. And, you know, I don't know, they're all just sort of like rehashing everything that happened. Jackie is saying how Teresa should have been like that. Like she, Jackie thinks that Teresa should have squashed the whole fight. She thinks that Teresa should have been like that. Like she, Jackie thinks that Teresa should have squashed the whole fight.

She thinks that Teresa should have been like, yo, that was like a little far, Jennifer. Let's like, let's bring it in. But she didn't do that. So now Jackie's riling herself up about Teresa again. Yeah, because nothing is ever forgiven on these shows. You know, Jackie, I'm so glad that Teresa forgave me. I'm like, uh, yeah.

So she's like ready to yell at Teresa. And Melissa's ready to yell at Teresa. Amalus is ready to yell at Jen because they criticize the ugly gift. The um, strong period necklace. Yeah. And then, uh, Dolores, cut to Dolores and she's like, oh, no, Danielle. She's like, Margaret is not a good person. Why would she act like a piece of shit to me? After all, you are such a monster. God, because anybody please show her. Just show her at the tape. Yeah, because Reese is like, yeah, because you know, if she didn't like using stuff, and she shouldn't have gone see a wedding and stuff. It's like, no, the point is that like,

she liked Danielle and Danielle was such a monster to her to wed at the wedding. That's why they're not friends in mortuary says not that she was like really dating Danielle all this time. Yeah, Teresa's like, it's mind-boggling to me. To be fair, Tinfoil is mind-boggling to her. No kidding stamps. Stamps from mind-boggling to her. I don't get it. So, so now everyone starts splitting, splitting ways. So the shopping crew is, is Jennifer Teresa Danielle and Melissa while Dolores and Marge and Jackie go to the pool and we see

them at the pool and Dolores emerges from the pool and she has this like crazy bathing suit on. It looked like her boobs dressed up like a ghost for Halloween. Monkeys ask ghosts. They're just like very spooky boobs. They get out of the pool and Margaret's like, you know what? I'm putting on my cover up. It's a little cold, right? It's a little cold. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go to the pool. It's a cure at the pool.

Yeah, and then Melissa's like tipsy Jennifer. She's like tipsy Jennifer when they first see each other. I'm sorry I got lost in minute because I have this film over my windows because I live in a bungalow So I live really close to everybody. So I only see shadows outside, I run on my desk and I guess someone was trying to fix their electricity, but it first was like, someone is outside my house. Someone, he's run outside my window. Like what are they gonna get from me? Literally nothing, you know.

Yeah, and it's someone fixing their electricity. Sorry, I got confused, but I just wanted to mention that Melissa's like, oh look, it's tipsy Jennifer and Jennifer's like, is that who I am? I like being tipsy Jen. And then I realized that's why Marj has to like cement those names, you know, because now there's like brand confusion. You know what that is?

Yeah, the cocktail Jen and then the tipsy Jennifer. You know what I also hate about Jennifer is that like, she's one of those people who fake on something. So she's like, oh my God, I love being tipsy. If I'm, hey, if I'm cocktail queen, then so be it. I love being cocktail queen. That's a good thing. But she's secretly angry about it. And then like the moment you say, you're a cocktail queen, she's like, shut the fuck up. You don't get to say that about me. It's like, you just said that you're

a little bit. I hate that. I hate people who fake on. Yeah, they don't. Yeah, I'm right there. It's like to read with a, with a glassware. She's like trying to read with everything that we see. Even her face, our boobs probably aren't even paid for yet I bet her boobs were in part of that bankruptcy settlement. Yeah Here's some thunder rumbles roll. I know I hear it coming through It's like one of those funner's that it's one of those ones that seems like it's starting up high like it's like It's like high and light, but you know,'s going to like descend into like booming like you know. Yes and I love that I can hear it coming from your side to my side. Can you hear I can't hear it in the headphones you can hear it in your

headphones on myself. Yeah I heard it a little on your side and then I heard it in real life here. Yeah you know what I mean. It's like that rolling shirt or you guys living in LA we don't have weather so when that will be half weather we're, oh my God, it's flying in outside. We're giving up to date, Tally, on every role of thunder. Oh my God, there was another one. Because here's the thing, a Los Angeles thunderstorm is that it rains. You see lightning two or three times.

You hear one soft rumble of thunder, and then that's it. But this time, we're hearing multiple thunder cracks. Yeah, the storm's here, reckoning. It's time we're hearing multiple thunder cracks. So it's like a reckoning. It's like all the electricity goes out. All the lights outside, the traffic lights go out. It ruins the town. The whole town, it's not just us that are wooseys. This town is a woose, you know?

Yeah, it's no exaggeration. Like right before this, I went to like a little donut shop to get a breakfast sandwich and when I was there The rain that's when the rain started and the lady behind the counter was like oh It's beginning like people like people act like Like the zombies are starting to pour into the tent like oh like time to start putting like like boarding up the doors and everything You know yes, oh and by the way Sorry, we keep going off on Tantans, but we're like both cracked out on coffee today. I have two

coffees next to me. I'm on my second coffee. I got a bigger coffee pot. And now I'm like, I have my coffee from the donut shop, and then I have some coffee from Starbucks. I forgot about that was in my fridge. So I've got like a rain, rain and coffee. So you guys big news, Jackie has never taken off four days from the gym. Oh God, and the way that Marge looks at her, she's like, I already hate what do you pitch is. Please just stop talking. We're not, you know what I'm going to have to start calling you.

Not Jim going Nancy. I'm going to workshop it. That 2022 outfit is sort of what you call you. Don't get call you LA Z fitness. So yeah, then they start talking about eating disorders, which is super sad. Delores had one, which was shocking. I mean, guess I shouldn't say shocking, because we know it's who we'll ever have one. But it was surprising seeing that photo for where she was like really really skinny. Yeah, and then Jackie's like, but you know, now I have a raw stick and the one is just fuck my husband's all the time. And I'm like, okay, just stop talking all of you. I would rather see Jen go, do you have the tiny drawn? You know, that are Mexican thing thing what have what have the Mexican things you get the maracas You have the maracas you have the no, okay, okay

Yeah, yeah, you have like a little baggies the drug meal baggies the Mexicans like you I was like please don't ask to take somebody home. Like, cause that is so someone like Jennifer. And the later she's in the spawn, she's like, I am taking you home, Fether Brica. It's like you were disgusting. You were even more disgusting. And I could have imagined. So thank you for that.

So, yeah, so the other crew, they're shopping and they went up going to this restaurant and they ordered some guacamole, and I'm talking like Teresa, some guacamole and I'm talking like Teresa some guacamole These and some chips and while like Teresa and I figure who else was it was a Melissa Teresa Danielle and Jennifer look yeah, Teresa sitting there. I think with Melissa who it doesn't matter. Yeah, but she she decides to eat like a jalapeno pepper because That is shichito

No, I don't like dogs So Teresa like bites into it as just like blazing hot because who'd have thought a hot pepper in Mexico would actually be hot And so I was Egua, Egua, Egua, Egua, Egua. I was like, this is great because we all know this is going to lead to extended scenes of Teresa, like with a violent diarrhea. So excited for this. Well, Teresa's, I'm more, Teresa's living my day to day where you feel like you've been,

like if I skipped dinner, I act like I've been on the diet for, like I haven't eaten for an idea. And that's Teresa's like literally been on the train. And so she's just like, we need chips and vacuum all in, tank up. Like she starts ordering all this stuff. And so the chips come and she immediately starts shoving them in her mouth, you know. And Danielle of course finds a way to be offended. She's like, we wait for you and you can't wait for us.

You know, this is not how you treat someone who was on the cover of arthritis magazine. Every time someone butts into a alopeia, I get a pain in my elbow. I can't be near the fumes. I'm like Bethany, Franco with seafood on a plate. I can't be near the top of the fumes. So, yeah, so then they wind up going, oh, there's like a little scene of, there's like all these random little scenes in this episode, I will say, where Jack keeps asking about what they can do for dinner

and talking about Jennifer and oh, while Jennifer was drunk with the tequila talking last night, et cetera. And then we, did you have anything to say about that scene? Just that Teresa keeps feeding Jen drinks. Like, while she's doing is giving, she's just trying to get this girl drunker and drunker. And it's so obvious what she's doing. And she does it in every single scene today.

And it cracks me up because I actually work. You shit. Yeah, it totally worked. So now they go shopping. And this is where Jennifer is just being like just an awful American. She's like, Oh, last senior. Oh, la do you have a Dundae, Esther Pontch. So then she gets these little puppets, which I don't know how she's taking all this crap home. But at least it's, she bought one silent gift

that wasn't Maracas and drums. So she bought, she bought, because those kids don't need that. So she bought these little puppets and she's like, I'll look at this puppet with the monkey lips. Look at that. And Melissa's like, I love that you can reference that

with jokes. You're just such a big person. And she's like I love that you can reference that with jokes You're just such a big person and she's like listen my feelings will hurt with that girl And then you see all the cameras just like surround them in the middle of the street and focus I got all the drunk ladies gonna get mad get this Johnny Yeah, I'm gonna start talking about the fight from last night and Jennifer's like, you know She attacked my appearance, you know, she attacked my appearance You know, she's being so rich takes these digs and less is like, well actually you played a role in it also And what's funny is that in my notes I wrote down role like a bread roll and I just started imagining Jennifer Like dressed up like a Kaiser role being like, hey don't make fun of my seeds

I don't know the image was like very strong in my head and I really enjoyed it. That's her next lip look is a Kaiser Roll. Just a Kaiser Roll. My inspiration is a Kaiser Roll. Make a permanent day, please. So, yeah. So anyway, but Melissa is basically saying, like, listen, you know what, like you played a role in it too.

This was a moment that was supposed to be about the gift and you made it about yourself. And she goes, as if this is like a real positive thing, she goes, well, you know what, the cocktail only enables me courage to say, but I really feel. So you're saying that your selfish ass moment was really like a moment of courage for you. Please sit down. And Teresa is piping up behind them, like, yeah, I'm like, man, I should have chugged up all of that.

She's like, you know, like, she should have said, sorry, I didn't think to get it from your brother, speak, speak. And Melissa's like, it was not about who we got it from. It was about getting you a gift, what the hell? And then when Jen's like, yeah, but the cocktail enabled me. Melissa's like, you said mean things.

You were very rude. Yeah. And then of course, having it from this girl. And then of course, Jen's like, yeah, but the cocktail enabled me. Melissa's like, uh, you said mean things. You were very rude. Yeah. And then of course, I'm having it from this girl. And then of course, the annuals like, I feel like I should be in this conversation. Yeah, she's like, what's more, I'm gonna excuse.

She's malicious. She's malicious. You're not seeing that Melissa. She hurt me so when she when she what did she do that hurt me? I was at my wedding! Okay, your wedding is over. Okay, no one cares.

We didn't care then, we don't care now. Your wedding is over. You don't get to still say that. It was at my wedding! It was that my wedding. It was that my wedding. I want to congratulate Dan Yelp for stepping in the shoes of Seiki Flaker at the season. There's a very fine line because Dan Yelp really does do that.

Grunter will help you. Yeah, but they also like that. But the thing is they are both being totally, like, like beating their chest lean Dion style and being totally sanctimonious about everything. How could you throw a cake across the floor? Ugh. Ugh.

You know. So then Danielle is like, you know what? My children are always with me. Where are hers? I can tell you why. She's Malala-licious. Yeah, her new favorite word. But let's just get it. Yes, just.

And Melissa's like, listen, we don't talk about kids. Okay, that's crossing the line. We start talking about kids. We start talking about the fact that Joey, Joey Jr.'s like up on trees, like sexually harassing squirrels. Okay, we're not talking about children. Yeah, even though I feel like all the kids they're referencing are adults at this point, but fine. So Danielle is like, beware, just beware. Beware. And Melissa's like, listen, you pissing me off, Danielle. She's like, all right, never done anything.

To heart you, but let's, she like walks off. Which is Danielle's thing, you know, she pisses everybody off, turns everybody against each other, and then it's just like, oh, I bet, I bet, I bet, I bet, yeah. And she storms off, and she storms off as a test to see who's going to come after her. Meanwhile, Melissa goes, the other way, just like, little bitch. Teresa. Oh my God.

That was actually just her like her reaction until like a Maraka. I care how you do these now. I was holding the ball and shaking the sticks, but if you start to stick and shake the ball, my boy noise is Teresa is so Teresa in this episode. It's so funny. So then Teresa and Melissa are talking because now we split up into the groups, because of course, Jen Chase is Danielle, which is, yes, you know, they're like a little awful human being team. And then Teresa and Mel are, you know,

awful big human beings connected by marriage team. Right. They have to always like, they have to, like, no matter what happens, they have to confirm with each other before they support someone else because they like want to make sure well, maybe Melissa. She's like, I want to make sure we're still good. We're still good. Okay. So yeah, they're based based on Melissa's like, I don't understand why Teresa is so blind to the craziness that Danielle is trying to pull and Teresa's like, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling. You know, Teresa is not blind at all to it. She's helping Danielle like it's sick. She's teaming up with that. She's on the wrong team for sure. Yeah, and speaking of teams,

so Jennifer of course goes after Danielle and they start talking about how terrible Margaret is. And then this again, starting to pop some more Jennifer's talk about Melissa. She's obviously picked her side It's not our side so which is good because that just means you know Whenever there's like sides aligned drawn and the housewives is always very exciting Yeah, and then Danielle pulls a gold star out of her person puts it on her forehead

She's like thanks for not letting me hang like the boss So then they all pile on to their little man thing and then Danielle is continuing like the Dr. Yeah Everything I say gets a package every single thing And then forget I just got married and that piece of shit. I just got married. I just got married. And sense like, I don't understand what is wrong with everybody and how they talk about Dan. Yeah. I feel bad for her because I am a compassionate person.

Like, uh, yeah. Real compassionate to like the needs of Amazon Prime. Listen, I'm very compassionate. I think a lot of people never thought that Danielle would find another skeleton to marry. And she did. And I feel very happy for her. So everybody gets ready because now we got to go to dinner because it's, I think it's dinner, right?

It's always dinner or lunch. Dinner or the pool? We're shopping. This is the equivalent of like the episodes or basically are the equivalent of Dolores Walking Render House. Well, I see the, I go from the kitchen to the living room to the kitchen to the living room to the kitchen.

I'm like, hey, Frankie, you want me in the living room? But he's not here. I'm alone in the house. I'm not Frank. I'm like a boo. My mom's eating a cookie somewhere if it's this. I don't know where she is. You know when you're home alone sometimes you've just walked triangles to the house, you're laying in bed and it starts to get dark outside. I look at the wall and I think

by even a life, like what proof is it that I'm alive? And then I'm like, oh, look, that's Pebble Tile. I think I really am dead. So Jackie is FaceTiming her son, and he's like all rambunctious. I'm assuming he still has not come down from that chicken parromb high he got with Fabia Viviani. Yeah. He's like, what?

Chicken! Chicken bar! Chicken bar! So can I talk to you, Daddy? Okay, please, can I talk to you, Daddy, please? Like, maaaghhhh! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Can I talk to you, Daddy? Okay. Can I talk to you, Daddy?

Please. How can she have five children that are, like, hyper and crazy, but they're cute? But the gen does it and their monsters. What's the difference? Because you can be hyper and charming oddly enough, but it's really easy to be, like, hyper and a monster. You know, it's because I don't think that her kids seem as spoiled. Like they are hyper about doing like, like helpful things.

Like remember, there was the episode which is like, okay, I've given you a giant thing of Greek salad, bring it to the table. Let's see if you can do it. And he's like, oh my god, oh my god, he puts down the table. I'm like, I'm kidding. Like he's excited about about doing a chore.

As opposed to her, Jen's kids would be like, what are you going to buy me? Yeah. OK, so they all start gathering in the lobby. And they're like, said to Loris, I was the pool. She goes, the pool was cold. There he goes. I was shopping.

I wrote that down too. I just was very cold. I was like Frank. The Loris over there. Frank, you're going to fix this pool. I was like Frank the Laura's over there. Frank, you're gonna fix this pool like I mean we're down in cap only got broken completely gonna fix it and I was like oh he's not here of course he's not here whereas he's in the Florida something like that. I don't know I don't know if I can trust him anymore. Here I have two men who could fix the pools anyone fixing the pool. Is it me? Is it me? Not me? It's not me. I'm not gonna do it.

Like I made my choice of what sort of pool I wanted and then Frank changed the pool time to 12. They're like, where are we going to dinner and treat us like, I got a long restaurant. It's a place where you sit down and enjoy food with your friends and family. Could you be more specific? It's time for commercial. It's time for... Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. But crap is commercial. So go to some Mediterranean restaurant and it's beautiful and it's called the sunset Mona Lisa. Which I think is a perfect title to send housewives to you know, because the Mona Lisa ain't never going to smile properly.

And it's like the sunset of her life, you know, yeah, yeah, exactly. So it's in their 50s. In other words, welcome. So Jackie's like, so girls I I planned a camel to a fit tomorrow and Treesick goes Camel I don't know about that like what like really what's a camel? What was that? Yeah, we're gonna race figure at also Sorry that I called 50 years old the Sun said everybody I felt like I felt the 50-year-old crimson around America I didn't mean it like

that yeah sometimes we don't know what to say sometimes words just like tumble out of our mouths we have to finish a sentence I mean 50 will be the sunset of my my plus faces but it doesn't mean for everybody. Okay, so yeah, so they're like, camels, no one's ridden camo, but just like, well, my family's from Turkey, and serious, probably like human nature to me. It was a god, at least you're ignorant about your own damn people too, you know?

In our culture, we make broad stereotypes about our culture and camels. So then randomly like past the dutchie starts playing. Did you notice that? I was like, past the dutchie because we had like an extended scene of everyone ordering drinks. It's like, I'll have a wine. What sort of wines you have? I'll have a tequila. I'll have, okay, I'll have this as a wine spritz. I'm scoaming on for like five minutes and like the entire time It's like little oregay past the dochie of the left hand side I was like, okay, we passed the Dutch to the missy Elliott song and I was like wow

No, I meant to even more rich Pass the dochie to the left hand side. I was like I just feel like the post-production department was like We just want to insert a past the dochie montage in here and see if anyone notices. And then Teresa subtly, subtly trying to bring down those trees to having an affair with the guy that looks just like Joe, but is much younger and has a worse eyebrow threat or rumors because all she keeps saying this episode is things like, I'll take the French kids drink because I ain't had a French kiss in a long time. Like every every scene tree is just like, whoa, it's had a slap on a big.

I haven't had a slap on my vehicle in a long time. Like okay. So we all believe that you totally been selling it this whole time. Yeah, exactly. They should bring back her some instructor from last season, by the way. So so then everyone's ordering their drinks and then so Jennifer of course orders to kill on the rocks, which which causes most to be like, oh, to kill on the rocks for Jen, huh? And she's like, really, Melissa, what is that supposed to mean? It means that you're like a drunk buffoon. Okay,

and you're you're you're signing yourself up again for more buffoonery. Yeah, people are fighting over nicknames about you And they're both involving being drunk. Okay. Yeah, and March is like I don't think you know how you set me the trick Okay, I'm listening like yeah, it's a lot. It's just like fine. Let's do this. You wanted to Fine Let's talk about the elephant in the room. How much does it cost and is it available on Amazon Prime? Let's talk about the elephant atollips in the room, okay? She's like you want to say it's because I'm drunk. No, it's because your snarky comments piss me off and that started And you know what you just wish everything to make it about you. That's what's going on.

You make snorkey comment. I never said anything. What did I say? You know, just like, I don't make everything about myself. Okay. First of all, you attacked me. You attacked my brother. You said the male or the bride thing. Okay. And then you kept saying that I locked you in the closet. And you kept calling me Jen instead of Jen. And then you said that like, my kids won't talk to you And then you said you divorced me see I don't make it all about me You said I was like Joan Rivers You called me Sagi Flicker

Melo that pride and say Melo the bride was not as bad. It's what you said about my brother My husband who's also my garden and interior Design as so that's like four people would you like to go after Malini to well? We're sitting here. Don't you do anything about Lexi? Okay, don't say anything about Lexi. Okay, because then you're really gonna hear it She'll tell you often five different accents in one sentence So then Jennifer I mean Jennifer's really going out and she's like, you know what, Margaret, you're used to an environment of cheating. You're mother fuck someone for 15 years. I get it. But those things should be kept secret. Which is like, I don't know why she thought she could say

that. And Mara was just going to like roll over and take it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. And you know what? That's why that's why you had to sleep at the pool house. Now, this is where we get to why I don't care what Margaret says if it's wrong or not, or if it's mean to Jennifer, because fuck Jennifer, she's starting everything. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck her. This is why I will always live from Arche and never back down. She eats while she fights. Like she doesn't even care. Most of the people on these shows don't eat at all ever. But she is not only eating. She's eating like in the middle of a fight

and it's wonderful. She's eating during the fight and she's also like clearing things out from between her teeth with her tongue while she's doing it as well. She's like, listen, at least my husband isn't sitting in the pool house, okay? And she's like, my husband isn't sleeping in the pool house okay my husband doesn't sleep in the fucking pool house

honey I secure my marriage and I don't care where he sleeps okay well which is it yeah that exact just Mark was like I know whether it's his girlfriend's better not you better shut the fuck up with that you better cut shut the fuck up with that I I'm aware of the street, wet on the street. She's like I'm just gonna try some Potomac, a little touch Potomac in this. You better shut up with that, you better shut the fuck up with that. And then she has like a little, she like literally eats a bum mall while she spits out a bum mall.

She's like, hit it, it is. But I like also is not only she eating while she's doing it, but I feel like Margaret in my memory of her, this is how she's eating by like, she has her elbow on the table. She has like an olive in between her thumb and her finger or something like that or piece of something and she's holding it between her thumb and her finger. Her other three fingers are just like sticking straight up and then her whole hand is sort of like flopped backwards.

Like it just like holding it up to the sun and that's how I imagine she eats it like that little like I'm gonna have a bun bun right now, but it's not well And then when she says hit it there it's like It's like all these horror sounds. I was like is are the kids face timing again? Your phone So Jen of course leaves. She pretends to cry. Well, yeah, well, she tries to leave, but there's like a maze.

She's like, how the fuck do I get out of here? How do I get out of here? So it's not that Daniel's like, I can't find her way out of her restaurant. And Danielle Eger, so like, building a line. It's like, Jennifer, wait for me. Wait for me. She's like running onettava! Wait for me! Wait for me! She's like running on slow motion with like a fireball behind her. And now Dolores is also like, fuck it, I'm gonna eat too.

I have no dog in this game, you know? She's like, oh, I have no dog. Boosted. Yeah, I have no dog. I do have a dog. His name is Tog. This isn't the one who got a dog named dog. Who is that? Tango and I'm messing with my own brain out. who got a dog named dog Who is that? Someone has a dog named dog if someone was like three dogs and one of them is named dog it might be her

Yeah, they just ran out of names, you know, I think I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't name the name So he said dog you know what you're a dog you can be called dog. Yes, Razz because she has Maz Yes, Maz the trainer Razz the dog and something else and dog. I think dog I kind of feel like her mom named dog dog. Hey, mom, what do you want to name dog? Cookies. It's like, no, mom, we're not naming him cookies. I've had them dog. Okay, mom. You know what, if it makes my mom happy, I can never be able to

see our cry. So she's like, ma, great,'s like you know what don't push me you literally seriously You don't want to say about it don't push me. I just like that was below the belt ma great god is saying Well, she was not hitting me below the belt Hmm got that all of it's delicious. That all of it the spot she hit below the belt classic that all of it's delicious. That all of it the spot she hit below the belt. Classic mod. Listen, if someone said that about Joe would I get mad, I wouldn't. No, because my husband doesn't have a girlfriend. Okay. Anyway, please pass the credit to his. Yeah, and the

Lord is like, I get it, but that was the rough one. God, if he's chicken wings, he's a fantastic. And then he's like, you know, how has my cheer? No, I don't know. I mean, it's not common. I don't know anything. Uh, and Moist is like, he sounded like, no, I, I, I, I, I, I, it's not common. I don't know what he thinks. Uh, and Melissa's like, he sounded like, you know, something, saying, I, I don't know anything, but obviously, I hit a nerve. Um, I think she does know something because that's really right. Yeah, she, you know what she knows? She knows that she's like, look at this guy.

And she's heard about their living situation. And she puts them together like we all did when we first met him, you know, several weeks ago, we're like, okay, this guy's cheating on her. Yeah, I think we've pretty much said that every episode. So that's all that. And then thankfully, you know, Teresa's like, man, you shouldn't talk, man, it has been because people talked about mine has been.

And then, you're husband's, you're fucking cheating on you Teresa. Like, remember when she's cheating on you. Remember when he spoke to his mistress on the phone on the air and called you to see where. And then you asked him against a tree at the winery. Okay. But the best part was that the producers were like, okay, we don't have the posh fashion

show this season because it seems like Kim D is not with us right now. So let's just like throw in an unnecessary Kim D flashback just so we can have her presence. I was like, thank you. I need some Kim D flashback just so we can have her presence. I was like, thank you. I need some Kim D, thank you. Oh my God, Kim D is never, she never rests. Yeah, I'm like, I'm actually like really upset that we don't have the posh fashion show.

Like even during, like, it was like a two seasons ago when Kim D was really on the sidelines, they really get to the posh fashion show to like a five minute segment or like a two-minute segment but they're like we at least are acknowledging that it's happening even though it's not a centerpiece this season and so the fact that it like is nowhere to be found is like infuriating to me. Yeah, I know. It's not fair. Thank you um as so Teresa's like, am I ending up real? It's done up in the analysis!

And Marge is like, who's she like, she went there with my brother. Like, who does that? And Jack is like, I agree, but even I'd be pissed. Yeah, even Jack. Yeah. She's like, I want to yell at Teresa right now. And I've been practicing it all day, but even I'd be pissed too. So meanwhile, Jennifer is like,

ranting to Danielle. She's like, she has no morals. She has no tradition. What does tradition have to do with such a moron? Like I'm sorry like she is like she's like pulling out the tradition card a lot to sort of like Just a not just a five, but I keep saying sanctimonious But it's sort of take a sanctimonious stand up. Forget the right word is high horse whatever you want to say But she's like rolling out that tradition thing

I'm like what part of the tradition involves just having like attack you as home and spoiled children, okay? Yeah, this bitch saw Fiddler on the roof once and now she's getting judge everybody. It's like, I'm not set. Yeah, I will not be friends with a woman who's not gonna hide eggs for children on Easter. That's it, I said it.

You know what's a good tradition? When you invite over like eight people to your house, you don't have them all sit down and you're kitchen island for lunch. That's a good tradition to. Do you know what's a tradition? Not having a semi-circle counter in your kitchen. That makes no sense.

People can't talk to each other. You know what's a good tradition? Not going to China to pick out your furniture that you would have could have just ordered from here That would have come from China anyway. That's a good tradition Yeah, you know, it's a good tradition not keeping cops in your pool room for your husbands, okay? You know, it's you know, it's a good tradition not playing house music at country hotels Yeah, I can't with this woman Um now all this says now all this said of course that's terrible of

March to say. No, I was that I was actually a very low point for that was terrible. Okay, but I was totally like one. Like how much you have to take and that's so housewives where someone just picks at you and says nasty things and gets nasty and goes low and goes low. And then you go low and everyone's like, oh, yeah, because Jennifer is like spoiled. She's a brat, she's ungracious, she's nasty, and she pokes and pokes and pokes. And she also makes herself a victim with things over and over again. And then again, finally you just like,

you slap back at her and then it's just like drama. You have no tradition, you have no morals, ridiculous. Shut up. I asked that question, but then I hear my mom and my own head being like, you should be the better person. So I guess we would expect more from orange, but God, I'm so glad when people defy your expectations, you know, because this shit was hilarious. So Danielle's like, oh, good cheat, Nihon S.T.U.

And then Jennifer tells us, achieving Ruma never leads you. Once it comes down from the clouds, it's there forever. I was like, well, so do scenes like when you're calling your husband, you're supposed to be at home with your kids and it's just cause you boss over and over. You know, like this is something you're actually putting on cameras

going to stay with you forever. Yeah, that's going to be the stuff that's going to last. That that's gonna be worse than the cheating rumor. I mean she is so she is so self-centered to think that we are actually gonna Be consumed with an idea of a cheating rumor like no, we like we are like Don't revolve yeah, yeah We didn't consume it and I mean and you know what Margaret is the bigger person because Jennifer comes back and Margaret says Okay, Jennifer Okay, I know nothing about your marriage.

And I said that to her and I'm sorry, and she just said it was blood about, it's not a blood about. And you know, that was actually a very mature moment because there were still in the heat of it and she could have, like, normally that's the sort of thing that, like, has said the next day or whatever. And you know what, she just, like, she was like, you know what, I crossed the line, I was just making some shit up just to hurt you. And I thought that was actually a mature moment right there.

So she is the bigger person. Yeah, it was actual real house, it was a real apology on the house wise, which is very rare. Yeah, it's not like I'm sorry, you got offended, it was like, he is what I did, he is what I did, I apologize. And so Jennifer's like, that was what really

harsh words, really harsh. So yeah, it was about It's like, but fine. I said things to hurt you too. What about piss? I don't want to talk about it anymore So then until tomorrow when I talk about some more. Yes until tomorrow when I pretend I'm praying and rocking back in bed in the fetal position Or whatever she does the next day. Yeah So now's the next morning. It's time to FaceTime again. Hey Frank, what's going on over there? Well, Lors. I jerked off in the bedroom and then I didn't wipe it up. I thought it'd be funny. Just lifted it. Oh, Frank. He goes, how's she going over there, Lors? She goes, uh, we're a bunch of old who was carrying on and he's like good for you And then meanwhile Melissa's telling Joe that they're gonna be going out in a camel tour and he's like I don't know why you're riding a camel because you ride a camel every night. You know what I'm saying?

No, like what does that even mean? Yeah, you have like a strange like dual hump situation in the back of your Torsaw Yeah, you have like a strange like dual hump situation in the back of your torso. Yeah. Well, that doesn't mean anything so okay, you fucking pig, but I'm glad they got you a little second to be a pig in this episode. Yeah, exactly. Teresa's in her place like, like doing her stupid tree squeak. So then Melissa and Jack, you're talking on the balcony and Melissa's like, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed at that dinner. Shut up. It came through her. Okay.

I'm really liking you today, but let's not pretend. Thank you. You're usually classy, isn't it? And Jennifer is at Dolores's room talking about Margaret. I'm making peace. I'm not, I'm making nice, not peace, making nice. Like, you know what, you're making annoying. That's what you are.

And then Danielle is, Danielle, of course, is with Teresa and she's like, that's too nice to the road that Margaret has gone after Jennifer and played a really nasty card. Too nice. I'm accounting. And it's hard for me to stick up these two fingers because I have already okay

She's like one night in a knuckle Jen everyone's like counting, you know she's like Danielle came up to me and I was like wow that's two times That's one finger and a knuckle that that girl came to my side. She stepped it up one finger and a knuckle You know what? Yeah, to be careful with Danielle though, Jen you have to be real careful with her You know what else you have to be careful with? Pebble tile, you know what too much it ruins the room Too much, you know what? And Danielle, meanwhile, Danielle has found her calling in life. She goes, we need to defend

Jennifer. Let's make sure we watch over Jen. Yeah, she said, all right. So these two are like totally planning how to like get Jennifer into a fight with Mars and like wrecking Mars. Okay. Protector watch over her. She's acting, I mean, I didn't, she's acting like she's one of like the three, those three ladies in like a whisper and a wrinkle in time or something, you know? It's like, Oprah. Some guardian. Yeah, she's, yeah, she's Oprah right now.

Yeah. So they go on their little camel trip. Hashtag no more drama, Dary. Am I right? Everyone? Am I right? I just thought about it. I'm very Lawrence of Arabia today. Okay. That's what I am today. Very Lawrence of Arabia. Guys, and very Lawrence of Arabia today. Very Lawrence of Arabia.

Lawrence of Arabia, who apparently started his life in Miami or something. So they all get on their horses and blah blah blah. Teresa has like the camels. Teresa is extremely Jersey. She's got these white jeans that are fully ripped, but then like a bikini top. It was perfect. And so and then they get to this camel ranch and the camel was so excited to see Danielle. I mean, it was just like, you know, when you see a relative, it's nice. So then Teresa's like, how could you do this? You left me here in Mexico for

all these years. We must protect Jennifer and the camels. So they're like, all right, we feed the camels Hickama and Treesa. Hickama, what, huh? Hickama, what's that? What's that? I got a Hickama was like, like four years ago when I got Hickama. It doesn't work for him. Hickama is, huh? Yeah, I can use that. He come on.

Teresa, the chef who doesn't know what a hickama is. Yeah, although I do have to give Teresa credit because they were all feeding these camels by putting the hickama in their mouth and letting the camel come up and like take it out of their mouth. And I was like, there's no way I would let a camel do that. And I'm like, why are they just not holding it? And Teresa, the only one who held it. I was like, why are they just not holding it? And Teresa, the only new hell that I was like, you know what? Sometimes, Trey and I are on the same wavelength, which is sad. I know, it seems like Teresa was a clean one, but she's had Jo inside of her.

So she's like, I already did this was him camps. So they do the hickama thing, and then they go on a ride. And everyone's actually fine with their choices. Actually loving it. And then Melissa, as if we didn't just see her on a call, she's like, it was fun writing a camel, but I have to say it's not much different than writing Joe. Just saying. We already saw the joke.

Melissa. Yeah, the just gets from Joe and it's grosser for you because you're condoning that shit. Okay. Yeah. And Teresa is like, my chacha is okay? Yeah, and Teresa's like, my chacha's getting a massage and... The camel's like, save me, please save me. I ain't felt this on my chacha in a long time.

Okay, Teresa. I'm always like, hey, hey, hey, Jen, okay, you know what? Like these camels, this is like amazing. Like this is like a bouncy house, you know, and next party, you'd better have a camel there, otherwise like, it house. You know, and next party, you, but I have a camel that otherwise like, it's gonna be a failure for party, you know what I'm saying? No, I'm saying. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

they're like getting a lot. And Daniel's like, oh, wow. Wow. Margaret insulted Jennifer. One thing got, I'm not cold. And now she's gonna pretend it never happened. Really, really.

First, she insults her lips lips then she insults her husband. She's in having in a bear And then And then she goes out to her bouncy house tradition We have to protect this house about the ostrich So then they go to eat. Yeah. And when we see this is this is the one right? Yeah. Okay. So this is the dinner. I can't. No, no, they're at the camp after they're out got the camels. There's like a little. It says Mexican buffet. 19 hours. Yeah. So they go and they're sitting there. And basically Teresa starts talking about Joe getting out of prison in March Just kind of crazy that it's already coming up and I think the reason why the scene was in there is because

Teresa is talking about like how she's like I'm in different Parisians now I know what she commises now and I'm like Independences and stuff is and they're talking about how when Joe gets out like like, is he going to be able to deal with Theresa being so independent, whatever. And I think what's lingering over this entire scene is that the news that Joe is supposed to be deported when he gets out and that there's been talk, I think, in the tabloids or on blogs, in the past week, that Theresa is going to divorce Joe if they have to get deported something like that So that's sort of like what's a little hanging over this entire scene, which is why I think it was really Which you know, I was not a huge Caroline Manto fan and when all that stuff is going on

I really didn't like her and Jackie on the team But you got to give credit where credit is due and she called all of this, okay? All we need is to see a Book Teresa writing a book on how difficult it is being a single mother, which you know, I guess that could be, stay strong or whatever it was. Well, I still, I still, I still am, I'm maintaining my theory that President Trump is going to, as you want to pardon Joe. Because Teresa was on the apprentice. I sort of got it's, I'm telling you, it's like this, it's the, it's the sort of petty thing that most presidents wouldn't pay attention to.

But I think Donald Trump is like, hmm, I'm going to put pardoning a reality star on top of my doc and I can see that. Oh, he better not. So, uh, she's like, oh, yeah, Joe says he's going to be doing everything for me, but it's not a fraction. So anyway, everyone's like, uh, doubt this is going to happen, but okay, Trey, so you know, live in your delusional, your delusional world. So they go back to their roots. Wait, I just want to say one thing though. Jennifer, of course, goes, I feel like if you didn't to force someone you went through all this and you guys can make it do anything, which is really the ultimate. Amazing line. Yes.

Oh, and then Dolores almost gets her ass kicked because she's like, yeah, both seats are reached because the leopard doesn't always change his spots. She's like, what are you saying? You're going to go back to his always and she goes, he'll try to. And she's like, but that focus all the prize. Her name is Marz. I'm saying, protect Jennifer.

Me, the reason always watch Teresa was so mad is because she just always, she's always assumed the leopard could change in spots. She's like, when I thought they can't become stripes is Damien Potix is. So, uh, yeah, we go to get ready for dinner and we're in trees room and she's thinking, I want to put them in the song. They dance around, which is perfect because I was like,

very, I really needed to hear this song at that moment as well. So I was like, thank you. So then this is where we see Jen and the spa with Dolores gossiping about everything and she's like, I'm going to take you home with me Fala. And then they start gathering. Well, there's a patio talk with Jennifer Melissa and Jackie and Marge is like, the cab was fine. And I'm great with Jen today. Like, I can bounce back for things. You know, I said, I'm sorry. I was horrible. I said, I'm sorry. Like literally seriously. Like his will like to say about it. I'm sorry. That's it. You know, that's it Yeah, yeah, and they're basically and Mars talks about Danielle saying that she's basically in authentic and like being fake upset with Jennifer Just to basically get an ally, etc. And Melissa

She just goes I Wonder if our last dinner is one where no one argues like no you're on real houses So we go to outdoor dinner. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And on top of that, they've been stuffed with so many cocktails before they even sit down because they gather and they get cocktails and they walk over to the table and then get shots. And then they're all ordering cocktails. It's like a combination of slurping and thank you, thank you. So they're just drinking and drinking and drinking. And Jennifer, she's announced that she's going to have an anniversary party next week because she's going off to Turkey.

So I'm like, already, like, I'm like, is this gonna be the season finale? What's going on? It's the sound of the very season finale. She's like, we're gonna have a red party because it's, you know, what? Just red is the color of love. And I love my husband so much.

He loves me back as well. And he must never, ever, ever cheat on me and see if the pool house ever. And then we see a clip of her telling builder gonna have a red party and he's like, you see red is love and I see this money training out of our account. Did you like my bon mo? So, um, Marjko, I'm glad she's healthy. I'm glad she's that holy, good'm glad she's that holding a crutch, but that you're a red party.

Like, she would say it should be green because she's all about the color Buku, Dome, A, B, you know, the buddy. That's what I got, buddy. So, get it. Get it. She likes money. So, money is the color of green. Green is also the color of envy.

It's just that it works on somebody levels if you really think about it. Cocktail queen. That's for you, Joan. So everything's going well. Everyone actually is in a great mood. They start talking about melda. They're like, what's the deal with melda? And she's like, well melda's only known my brother.

Only got to know him for like 10 days. But that's enough to fall in love with my brother. Cause look at him. He's so charming and handsome, isn't he? And I just worst they had like, got to me like. It's like a water bed that's got hair and smells like olives The life Jack this week with the sea slug. Yeah, basically my brother So then Melissa's like, but what about his dick? How does she know?

Dicks not gonna be you know small and then Jack is like who cares about decks You know if you find that your husband has a small dick with you care and The man you loved had a small dick would you still care and everyone's like, uh- your husband has a small dick, would you care? And the man you loved had a small dick, would you still care? And everyone's like, uh-oh, her husband has a small dick. That's what she's really saying. Yeah. So now there's more drinking and drinking

and drunkiness and fun times. Jennifer's like, I need my drink. Where's my drink? Oh, it's right here. They're like, uh-oh, Jennifer. Cocktail, queen. And then Jennifer's being like all-sauce. She's like, I don't have my husband

Said Teresa's my bitch tonight. She's my bitch. Look at me. I'm wacky and fun. See I can have fun Yeah, and Teresa's like I'm hanging in the lips also Teresa She had two drinks because Teresa put hers in front of her because Teresa's still like going out of her way to get this girl's sit face Nice Teresa get this girl's sit face. Nice. Um, Jen's like, give me an ego. My husband loves it when I give him a lip action. I was like, you were disgusting, Jennifer. Okay. No one needs to hear about this. Keep it quite missed.

So Dan, everything needs to stay private. Yeah. So since things are going so nicely, Daniel's like, okay, I got to fix this. Just because Jennifer, Jennifer. Yeah. Guardian Angel over here, Jennifer. We were actually talking about your lips today. Yeah, Margaret says you have monkey-ass lips. That's what I heard. That's what we were talking about.

And she goes typical, nobody cares about G-Ted, Gell. Okay, here's what I gotta say about it. Literally nobody cares about G-Ted, yeah. And she's like, I'm Gell, I'm Gell. No, no, no. It's like, I'm getting mad. What's up? It's like, whatever. She's a liar. Okay.

She's like, yeah, but last night you said a lie about her husband. Cuddy's two are so terrible. Remember the making up part? Yeah, exactly. And Margaret's like, I said something to hurt her. Okay, it wasn't a lie. It was something to hurt her. And then Jen saw his class with her hands. She's like, I'm gonna do it. I'm opening a

pant or his back that's happening. It's happening. I can't control it. It's like the Hulk about to transform. Yeah, she like starts rocking back and forth, pumping her hands and right. And Gloris is like, ah, Jen did someone just put squid tiles instead of pebble tiles behind you back because they knew you were gonna be in events And just like why are we bringing this up against it? Cuz my sad It's like okay, look we made up you know, I took it back and Jack's Jackie's like she's admitting it She said she took it back like why are we talking about this again?

Jackie and you serious did you not hear what you said about Humblebath? Yeah, and then Daniels. Yeah, exactly. Now everyone has like on from zero to 60 and Daniels like at least you got an apology, Jennifer. Not me. I was like, why should I apologize to you? Okay, keep his past about it. Thank you very much. Delicious nachos. Oh good. Hey, there's salsa with it. Some guacamole. Okay. Why should I apologize to you? You owe me an apology? Okay? I owe you nothing You never should have been in my wedding. Yeah, I shouldn't have been there, you know It's like 20,000 all this data. I had to spend a lot of your goddamn wedding

You know like I love Daniel still pretending that she did everybody a favor by having them in her wedding Yeah, exactly and Marcus like you know that she did everybody a favor by having them in her wedding. Yeah, exactly. And Marvers, like, you know, she's irrelevant to me. She's irrelevant to me. And Danielle goes, I have people that I care about. And you know what? I don't see your children anywhere. So don't ever talk about me.

Don't ever. Yeah, your kids look thrilled to be there too, by the way. Yeah. So my children always around me. If you had spent a little time with your kids Maybe they'd be here and maybe you'd see a grand children. I mean, she's yeah, she's going She's like maybe you see grand kids maybe you have a relationship with me and she's like Like can you believe it's she's like she's making a point. She's making a point that's all yeah, cuz kids are off limits

But it's okay. Teresa such a hypocrite. She is a this is why boys I did Teresa is such a fucking hypocrite Totally God and so Marge is like to visa. I can't even believe you would go against me for this one But this one and then she tells us well that yeah, but she puts a tree say it gets to be and why why can't she can't see what they're doing is be odd me because Tristan fucking moron okay that's why yes so Margaret's like you're an old dog with no new tricks how dare you say that I just learned how to roll over last night ask me the high five you go ahead ask for a handshake go ahead I'm just imagining daddy all the way with those like dog handshake that like limp like paw So Margaret I was like you don't know my kids dance nobody knows your kids

They're never around you. They're not around you. Finally Margaret's just like fuck this bitch I've been wanting to do this all season the time is right. We're on vacation Let's make this an official real house as a New Jersey trailer moment takes her wine glass Just throws the wine in Danielle's face And thankfully Danielle's basically wearing a dress made out of crumpled up-diet coat cans anyway, so she'd clean fine But Danielle is like you cut that nice Yeah, and then she tries to she grabs a glass and it's about to throw glass at her face. She throws it She will I mean well, I mean, so Margaret just like,

Margaret just like waltzes out of there. Like I did it. I won. I'm going to sleep. She's just like that proud. Like I just did something crazy. I'm just going to lean into it. I'm not going to be, I'm just going to walk away and I'm going to own this moment.

And Danielle does like that thing that she does whenever she gets to do a fight at a table, which is that she throws a glass that onto the ground. Like if you just look at lassies and when she comes to fighting mom on, she starts picking up things from the table and just starting it on the ground. You know, she just comes like a wild animal.

So she picks up that. I wrote down, she picks up a glass almost through the, and then shanks it on the table, like Mariah and Mary-Jermettison, breaks it on the table, like she's gonna stab someone with a glass that the producers run in. And everybody's like,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then Dolores goes, oh no, there's an unwritten rule in this group, no children. It's talked about my children, she wouldn't have teeth. I was like, she doesn't have teeth, problem. You know, I doubt she does have teeth. Dolores also look like something happened in the past 30 seconds

where she went from just like having a good time to being like, wasted because her face there's like. Oh, yeah. That was how like it was like her eyes were blank. Her jaw was slack. And she's like, yeah. So then Melissa starts yelling at Teresa. She's like, why are you so anti-market all the time before that though?

Danielle goes, you know how I feel about much? This is how I feel about March. She takes a knife and she stabs the centerpiece. Yeah. I mean, you know how I feel about March? This is how I feel about March and she takes a knife and she stabs the centerpiece. Yeah, I mean, you hear crack. I'm like, she just stabbed class. My God. So good. So then Melissa's like, why are you so anti-March all of a sudden? And she's like, last night when she said husband, because people talk about my husband, it's wrong. I was like, your husband is wrong. He cheated on you multiple times.

I need some chat. He's in jail and you got sent to jail because of him. But I love them most of the goes, but your mother too, she started talking about her mother. She's like, meaning like Jennifer started talking about Marge's mother. And you have a mother too and you do the same thing. And Teresa's like,

Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling. And can you, Daniel, I thought tell her what this thing right now and so Dolores goes oh she's the one it was to arms out and that what we have to oh no Dolores no there was Danielle said it I just wrote it wrong I'm sorry everybody she goes so she's the one and she's stormed that and now what we all have to rescue her before my fucking wedding That's how she was in my wedding she storms out I'm like she's armed out because you were a monster at your wedding lady, okay? Yeah, exactly and she's like Munch wrapped in yellow way to after the weddings who does that?

Who does that? And this is like what you guys were just like arguing nonstop Who the one who would do that at someone's wedding? At someone's wedding. It's someone's wedding. And you got memory loss. You got memory loss. And Melissa's like, do you have memory loss? Like, oh my god, you both need memory loss to lead the lives you lead.

I mean, I don't know how you're not both monstrously depressed, okay? Jennifer's like, speaking of tradition, she put something out of a fucking cloud and she brought something to the universe about my husband, how's it go, friend, no. And she's like, she's brainwashing, yes, she's brainwashing the entries,

it's like, you are! And then Teresa goes, she says something about her husband, she says something about Danielle, the three strikes for me. That's because Teresa math right there. Yeah, exactly. And then I like that when Jennifer is ranting, Melissa goes, okay, you know what, you need

to drink some water. And then that's for you Teresa. She just completely disregards whatever Jennifer was saying. And she's like, by the way, pause everyone for a second. Teresa, what Margaret and Daniel are fighting about, has nothing between you or is nothing between you or I. Kapiche, Kapiche, I wasn't following, but I heard Kapiche, so yeah, Kapiche.

I love Melon. So then Teresa's like, she's doing mine at her. She's like, she threw a glass at me. And Jennifer's like, if I threw a glass at you, sweet hot, you would know how I you would know it. You would know it. And then she breaks a glass on the table like she's gonna sink her. Yeah.

And Melissa, after like years, says just like become just like whips around that table. It says you picked the wrong fucking girl to go have. And then just ends. I was like, oh my god Melissa Gorgas like this is the side of Melissa Gorgas I've been waiting to see I didn't realize I was waiting to see this side of her but now that I see it it's all I want yes I need it all the time what a great episode yeah if that doesn't get you pumped to watch the rest of the season I don't know what will and so I'm I'm I'm so excited to

talk about the rest of this fight in Dallas next week. I'm not just saying that as like I'm like this is gonna be a live show. Yeah, get your tickets everybody go to watch what crap is calm for our schedule of live shows and all that stuff. Get your tickets and we will talk to you tomorrow. We're gonna be doing live chef streaming live on TV party at 12 30 p.m. Pacific time tomorrow. So just go to the TV party out Download that on your phones and follow at Ronnie Karram and at Ben Madelger to get those we love you We'll talk to you guys tomorrow. Bye everyone Thank you. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.