Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Cow Pageant

Episode Date: November 30, 2018

The Real Housewives of New Jersey finish up their trip to Oklahoma with a cow pageant and Jennifer brags about having more shitters than anyone in Paramus. She's a classy kid, that one. This week's bonus is about our holidays and a fight over the movie Widows. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah tees avail at www.CrappensMerch.com. You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We'd love to talk about on Geo Bros I'm running car on the man who's cousin your dreams and your heart. And here I am. Cool. Just been mandalker of been mandalkers apartment, which we're in right now currently. Hi, man. Hi, I hope you didn't get lost in here. There are 16 bathrooms and there's 11 foot ceilings and it's just I could be a lot to take in. Oh my god I see the sky out of here out of your balcony I got sky too but since I'm so high up it's better than your sky.

Yeah well Ronnie welcome back to the New Jersey podcast you weren't here last week when Danny filled in for you. So you didn't really get to truly witness Jennifer like blossoming into the asshole of the season. She really is a dick. I mean, haven't we not? Did we see this? I don't remember that. Well, yeah. We noticed because I got very mad when she showed up at the hatchet throwing with like a food tray from the supermarket. And I'm like, girl, you are new and you're on TV. What are you doing with that?

Like, this isn't, you're going to brag about your giant house and then show up with like a $7 food tray on TV when you're new, you're new. Hello, energy new. Um, yeah, she's the worst. It bothers me that she's kind of like a cross between I think I already said this But she does look like Jacqueline the reader a little bit in a Jimmy like miss the bases. Yeah, yeah But yeah, I was sad to miss it But guess what I was so not sad to miss it. It was so amazing even having like one. I don't know why it feels like summer break

It's like yes, but then watching real house was a New Jersey last night And not taking notes felt really weird. I just sat there like, what am I even here for? Like how do people do this? Yeah, oh because you caught up last night. Yeah. So you guys welcome to the show. Hi everyone. We're gonna be in Asheville next week, so we're excited for that. We got more shows coming down on the pipeline. We're gonna be announcing stuff very soon. We feel like it's very exciting. A lot of pieces coming into play.

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Next time we put something on sale. Oh my God, don't be one of the hosts, Pat. Oh, that's not the hot one. Because usually we like to do something like we'll announce like on Monday and put the tickets on sale on Friday. But sometimes with some of these venues, it's kind of like, okay, we're announcing today and they're going on sale in like two days.

So you have to be on top of it, people, okay? Another thing we're gonna announce next week is what a new shirt's gonna be. Right now, they're ho on sale in like two days. So you have to be on top of it, people, okay? Another thing we're gonna, next week, is what a new shirt's gonna be. Right now, they're, oh, oh, okay, happy monica. Yeah, they take a week or two to deliver. So we're gonna have a new one that's coming out probably next week or the week after. So keep your eyes out for that.

And if you wanna get the, oh, oh, okay. Or, Ramona, Ramona, happy Ramona, just like millions of other people. Yeah, which is why we're doing this podcast from the mansion right now. Yeah. Go to crappenswarch.com or just go find our ticket links and merch links over at Watch What Crappin. I'm actually holding the happy Ramona, T-shirt in my hands right now.

And I'm great. I'm actually shocked at how good this is. I mean, this is like, I mean, this is just amazing. It's so amazing. Guys, don't you want to be saying that to your friends and family? Yeah, don't do it. OK, we're also on the TV party out streaming. Each of us goes on there once a week or so

and watches the show with you guys or after parties. Last night, I did the Real Housewives of Dallas finale With you guys and Lat we laughed our asses off been it's gonna be on today. Yeah, just gonna talk about you Just talk about bravitz. Just talk about whatever go do that. Okay, so no today real housewives need jerseys. Okay, I'm not even on the show. Yeah, she's just across the river just across the riverband So the ladies are still in Oklahoma Just across the river band. So the ladies are still in Oklahoma They've been they've been having a fun time. I've been going out there been partying and etc. They're coming back from

March this is you want you want you guys want to choose okay, you want to choose it's never been windy here for me I bet it's like it's crazy. It's like I can't it's what what is this is like it's like Joan Rivers like trying to thought on us That's classic Joan from beyond the grave Someone's like we brought it from New Jersey and like you probably did yeah, probably like a farty girl I would imagine this is a farty crew. Yeah, so yeah, they're going out to dinner Sorry, I forget I thought they were coming back, but they're going out to dinner This is to catch people up Melissa and Teresa just had a whole conversation in the wake of the breakfast where she's like, eh, yeah, like, don't only visit Nona like when you're like when you're gone So like make them visit Nona more and she's like Teresa So they patched things up and now they're going to dinner

Yeah, and Mark everyone's awkward in the van because I think Teresa and Melissa are gonna start fighting and Mark Classic March is like it's awkward. I don't know if they're gonna say a scream. I don't want it to be like, I like it. Like that would be ridiculous. Like it's like a cat's rolling around in an alley. Seriously, and Teresa is like, Oh, let's have fun.

You know, she gets that squeal thing in the voice. Let's have fun, let's have a dream. And it goes up, but you can't dream. She's like, I think it has. So they get to a place called the painted horse, which is different than the, what's it called? Why am I blanking now? The what's it called woman?

The quiet woman. Quiet woman. The painted horse and the quiet woman. They're like the quiet horse. There's like a bunch of pictures of horses with no face on them, like and the quiet woman. So they go to the quiet horse. There's like a bunch of pictures of horses with no face on them, like in the quiet woman. That is one of the most disturbing restaurants. That's the most disturbing decor I've ever seen, the quiet woman. It literally is pictures of women without faces.

That is, I've watched Lifetime My Whole Life and that's an abuse picture right there. I think the most disturbing part is that we actually put our lips on that window. That was really like so vile to me. But the most hopeful part is that neither one of us broke out any diseases. I know. I'm not a few, new porate. I really expected worse from you.

I have to say. So they go into this place. It's just like a normal restaurant. It's like, it's about as generic a restaurant as can be. And Jennifer is like, ooh, it's very rustic. I'm like, it's not rustic. It's like tables and chairs. It's like, I'm sure. I'm like it's not rustic. It's like tables and chairs It's like have you like have it like I'm I'm sure I'm sorry This does not look like the Grand Lux Cafe to you, but this is not rustic. Oh my god. She is so grandma

She is like she probably thinks the Grand Lux Cafe is like an actual like five-star restaurant Yeah, she probably pretends to know CC from CC's pizza just to be fancy She's like we went to the we went to the macaroni grill and it was like a very, very fine meal. Maybe if you ever had grilled macaroni at her cheat, but worth it. So Melissa's like, oh my God, this reminds me of when we go skiing.

I'm like, a lodge. This is like a ranch house style. What do you people talk? It was like really like a very just like a run-of-the-mill Like normal restaurant you could find in any part of the country in a strip mall. So everyone's like what are we in the barn? There's no pizza then it's there's no like chafers full of pasta. We're such a man's fabrics This is weird. I think this is the first restaurant I've been to that doesn't have a plastic surgeon next to it that Danny Elstob is at. So so Jennifer's like, oh skiing.

I know what that is. It's like the sky but with an eye. Anyway I took my daughter. I took my skid skiing wands and it was so much work. So I just left a nanny with them. Well, no. I mean, look, it's not even a nanny, it's a wife. Because I mean, I'm so like, cook and clean. Two other things I don't like to do, like, I mean, guys, my basement has like an 11 foot ceiling.

I mean, there's seven bedrooms upstairs, there's like two guest bedrooms downstairs, 11 foot ceilings. We actually have our own power generator. It's actually nuclear. Kind of explains my face, but it was a really rough time. The lights actually did go out one time. Don't bang on a nuclear generator. I was telling you that right now. Make the nanny do it. You know, I mean, aside from the fact that it's so obnoxious that she's once again talking about her house, it sort of gets overlooked the fact that it's so problematic that she's like, I call her my wife because she doesn't cook in the cleaning. I was like, I know that's probably a joke,

but based on so far what we've seen, this is- But that's her, that's how she is. She's like, I'll have a party if my husband allows me to. You know where I'm from, the wife that's into the husband, I'm like, guess what bitch? Now you're from Jersey, you better drop all that. Yeah, and she's like, I have a security system in my house for the wife, I do a random bag check once in a while

to make sure everything's okay. I'm like, what are you fucking TSA? The NSA, the Nanny Security Agency. I know. And then the other new girl, Jackie, she's like, what's her name, Jackie? Yeah, she's like, I trust her. I mean, look at you, the trust in me, you don't.

Like, what, you're going to give them your kids all day, but not yourself aware? Like, what is that? That's like her big line of the episode. It repeats it about five times. I'm not as proud of her. So then, Marge is like, I ran a bag show. Yeah, I think the next step is to get a moat.

Am I right? I was going to get a moat, right? Get a moat. Am I right, girls? Get a moat, right? Get a moat, moat. Okay, Joan, classic Joan. Classic Joan, anybody know where Melissa Rivers is so she can just stand behind me and like, back in my shadow. That's a classic Joan Rivers joke. Okay, it's just like, it's like, you have a punch time with a four letter word that everyone

knows, once at a level, it's a very easy word and Teresa's like, what's a moat? Is that like a goat that's a very easy word and trees are like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke.

Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get on the set choke. Get in the 1970s. Yeah, but you know what? Like no, I'm on my own and like you know he's been playing a lot of time in Florida and you know Frank Adunis in college and like the dog dies. So it's just me and the kitchen island and it's just like it's a viscer rating. It's a viscer rating.

I've been a viscer rating. I've been a viscer rating. I've been a viscer rated by jalapenos and I didn't think that jalapenos would be able to have because I thought that jalapeno and pinogrisia would not be healthy for you but pino is good for your metabolism. Well, when you drink too much, you got pino. Okay, okay, all right, let's take it. I want to take it again, it's called Tuchu's Enemage, okay? Let's do it.

You tell Tuchu's about yourself and then you tell what truth about March. Can we try and guess what to do which is March? Okay, for example, Teresa has been to jail. What did Hall of Fame go? Classic Joe. Okay, I tell jokes like Jen Rivers. Like I'm hilarious and everyone hates me. Okay.

So, you know, it's funny. My performance started recording. I was telling Ronnie that my therapist said that, like my psychological, not profile, but like my personality is best little boy in the world and no better way to illustrate this than like two weeks ago I was at a game night and someone said let's play two treats in a lie. I was like okay and then I told three truths by accident. I was like of course I told three truths I'm not gonna lie I'm the best little boy in the world. I can't play this game you guys. I'm so sorry, the best little boy in the world. So so so my heart's just, okay, okay, here we go.

Here are the three options. I flew around with my high school gym teacher. My ex locked me in the closet. I did coke only once, my high school. Okay. What do you think it is? Oh, and then the loris is like, well, I don't know about the coke, but I know that you could overpower a jam, so that's not the case.

I know that. And then a- And you're's not that's not the case I know that and then And you're kind of a slot so I think you would hook up with your high school gym teacher so probably that too Three troops are you the best little girl in the world? Some margis like no you're wrong actually Jett did lock me in the closet He actually did lock me in the closet. I was like, why do you think I'm the most sick? Why do you think I'm the most sick? I got out. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, I Kelly, you know, I'm like trapped in the closet.

I'm like, I Kelly, huh? I Kelly, what? I Kelly what? I Kelly what? No, it's not a question. Oh, that's a mouth. We move past that to reset, right? Can that.

So Dolores is like, uh, nobody would lock me in a closet and get to sleep ever. I'm so I like the Doris accent right, being where she just she just keeps taking Frank and the reason why it's not because the Laura's will be threatening Should be like hey, I'm in the closet. I'm all alone. I mean, it's okay I mean, it's nice in here. Just a little dark. I mean, you know I'm a viscerated it's Frankie there. It's Frank Jr. There is Maz there Boo there is Frank Jr. there is Maz there boo cuz someone get Frankie I mean it's nice and yeah but it's like it's sad I mean I see clothes from like 20 years ago and like I've lost a lot of truck you know it's been a lot of clothing hello hello

yeah that's not the first thing you want to put in prison or a closet or the most troll never ending ghost that you'll ever have in your house. Yeah, your house. Not house. You see, I'm talking like Teresa already. So Dolores is two truths in a lie, or? All right, me and Frank had sex last week.

I put a kill in the head. And I had a plane, I had a plane sex one. So what's the lie there, huh? They're like Frank Frank. Yeah How do you know everyone thinks we have sex because you're always talking about how you have trust issues the Frank and he's in Florida also And she's like it with sex on a No, she's like I didn't have sex on a plane actually, too, and they're like with who she's like, I don't know I don't remember. I'll tell you this I'll tolerate this right Jennifer's like I can do

this I can do this game okay here to live oh wait so the lies that she bit a girl in the head no the lies that she had sex with Frank oh that's right yeah she really did by the girl in the head of course what a mom I love that that was never even a question of whether that was a lie Okay, okay, I can play this okay two sheets in a lie. All right. I'm artist straight man. I'm very happy in my life And I have 14,000 bedrooms like oh She's like a ship my pants once I had a Brazilian butt lift She's like a ship my pants once I had a Brazilian butt left Or my friend and I were in the city is dominating tricks. This is an opposite of

Oh my god, and everyone's like you ruined the no one wants to plan anymore. She's like no guess Yes, yeah, never like your ass is fake. She's like yeah My ass is fake guys. I was like oh, so you just turned to truce into a lie and to like a brag about your ass yeah pretty much. Um, and then Trega's, how did we come and jump in the internet? Uh, how, bleing, bleing, bleing, was it, was it hard to deliver the pizzas in 30 minutes or less? Who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, Who we hit with beat this? Did you avoid the noise? I love that Teresa is always looking for money wherever she can.

She's just like, how do we come down with nature? And she got friends in that business, you can introduce me to house. How long does it take to make the cereals? No, not tricks. No, not tricks. Dominatrix. This is where Jen's like, I revolve against the Turkish culture, but my husband said, now I can whip it up in the kitchen.

Gross. Shut up. Jesus think, why does the show always have to take feminism and kick it in the nuts every single time? Yeah, because that's the only way we seem to be able to process it. So, next morning, they'll go home. The next morning, Jackie and Melissa wake up and Jackie's like, you know, I still can't get over the thing that Jennifer was saying. I mean, like, she can trust a nanny with the kids, but not herself away.

Am I right, everyone? Am I right? She's not sure how the editing works, and she just wants to make sure it's in there. I'm a list of like, I don't know, but I mean, she talked about shitting her pants. That was great. This is so disgusting. This is so desperate for an ally right now that she's willing to look the other way at this terrible woman. And by the way, last week, Jennifer was like, I have the, like, we have the highest house in Paramis.

As it turns out, I went to New Jersey last week for Thanksgiving and my cousin was like, Paramis, I mean, it's a dump. Why would you brag about being in Paramis? Why would you have a mention that you're in Paramis? You can tell just because just how Marge talks about piramis. She keeps saying piramis over and over like it's the most disgusting. I know it's like being out here and being like we have the most scenic view in all of Van Nies.

And then Marge comes in while they're talking about her and she goes while they're talking about her and she goes, she goes, hi, how much? That's like what? And then she hears them talking and she goes, his pretentious, the bag checker. The bag checker's the only time I have the bag checker. The bag checker. Marge is so that woman who like,

it's like around 10, 28 a.m. and she comes into your room with a coffee bag. What? Yes. And she sits the edge of your bed. I can imagine doing that like every single morning to someone. I feel like she could come in room with a coffee bag. Ah, what? Yes. Just like, and she sits at your bed. Like, I can imagine doing that, like every single morning to someone. I feel like she could come in right now and just bit.

Calmuch. And we'd be like, okay, that makes sense. Meanwhile, has anyone fed Lexie. She's like in a cage somewhere in the bottom of the house. Lexie is actually on this trip. And like, we only see her when it comes time for like manual labor. Like, oh, we're gonna have breakfast now.

Is he Lexie like over the stove with like our cauldron lock? It's almost ready there. It's almost ready in my weird British session Nejaze XC So you know you know how they always say be careful of difficult parents because they raise terrible people Let's go and watch Jen FaceTime her house So she said, I got a Brazilian butt left, the butt buy you the biggest surprise toy and the college I was like, oh you can't leave. I want a hello dream house, please. Thank you. Okay, thanks. Bye Doesn't even say please. Okay, I want the hello dream house. Thanks

I'm in chance like I got to get that shit now that shit's $400 I'm like, oh, you actually don't have to do have to do have to get that shit You know what because guess what you actually don't have to get that shit, you know what? Because guess what? You certainly didn't care about getting a nice, lovely platter for hatchet throwing. Yeah, no, you're getting pre-cut carrot and celery buyer. Yeah, could you just like at least go to like Whole Foods and get like a fancier like, no, but now like,

oh yeah, you'll put foreign dollars and just keep it a hell of a dream house that this child's gonna throw down this Derrick aes yeah, you want to buy a gift that's useful. How about a fly swatter and slapper in the face Every time she acts like that until she learns to be better, okay? You're raising another little Brat we don't need more this in the world. How about a ball of yarn and just tell your kid here go chase. Yeah Actually literally do that with my thing to do because I would do that So now yes, and now Marge Melissa and Jack you're just like talking shit about Jennifer and you know like

It's just you know what my thing is it's just like a little one happy. She's a little one happy I you know, it's like you know I think we should give her a fair chance because I think she's just uneasy in a group of new women She just doesn't she just trying to show like she's just trying to like, you know, make it seem like she belongs. Yeah. And it's like, maybe Melissa has a point that I should give a blow up to chance. I love a girl that little talk about shitting herself. Yeah. It's like all you have to do in Jersey. Alright, she has 90 minutes and then I go back to hitting her. So next morning they're all getting ready. And yeah and this is the largest sitting there in

Croweers which is now they've gone down to breakfast where Lexi is like stirring the oatmeal over the stove top and they also down and Polly comes in and she's like hello all right today we're gonna go on a cattle drive I mean we're going to the cattle show we We're going to have, you know, here in Oklahoma with the little children, they like to go and walk the little cows around. So Jennifer, we're going to walk you around. Oh, that's so weird.

Oh, that's kind of weird. Just I had to make a joke. Yeah, just personality wise. Personality, she's got cow personality. Yeah. Not looks. She's actually very cute. And you know, I actually find it cute.

Like she's like sort of like a, I mean, the thing that bothers me is that she's like the sweetest nun in nonsense. She has the face of the sweetest nun in nonsense, but she's an asshole. She's got, yeah, I don't wanna see that nun being asshole. You wanna see that nun be nice. Yeah, cow personality.

Cow, yeah. I feel like the more I say it, that doesn't get any better Yeah, there's no way to guide. There's no way to I just know But some party titled the show cow pageant There was literally a cow page it right probably that go way back we come way back We go to these cash shows. We do these cash shows Like it's basically a really bad time for cows. Yeah, and it's kind of funny because like the first time we met

She was like we got a cash show cash show and I was like oh good. I love cash out We can go like I can't wait to see her show and then turns out it was a cow show not cash out But it's fun. It's fun. What's that she said? Oh? Let's go to a cash out. was like, I love that cereal. It's natural. It's natural, sugar-free. That's catchy. That's what she's saying.

She's a singer, right? OK. So meanwhile, back in New Jersey, we had over to Marge Senior, who is recovering from her massive facelift. Marge Senior, by the way, I just noticed this episode. She made her way into the opening credits,

because I thought it was cute. She's like, stands with the Joe, which is thought was cute she's like stands with the Joe which is cute So she's just sitting there on a couch and she's just bossing around Joe. She's like Joe. Joe. Oh, I need a new I need I need I need ice packs Joe. I need ice packs new ice packs. Can I get a pillow? I need to be pro. I need to be pro. I need to be pro. Can I get a pillow? I'm pleased. Do you have any mashed potatoes? Can I get some was? I may have to ask I'm gonna eat. Jay, do you have any mashed potatoes? Can I get some water?

I may have to ask you for an ab bill. Oh, there it goes, Michael Wave. You know what, I'm with my mashed potatoes. Go for it, cause that is a spoon. Yeah, but for it, instead of spoon. Hey, you know, I may have to ask you for a store box later. Is that okay? I know, she's like the easiest diva ever.

She really is, cause like all her requests are in full sentences. Can you rub my feet a little bit? Oh, can you rub my feet? Yikes. That was very reminiscent to me of serial mom when the lady has the dog lick her feet while she's watching Annie. Oh, I forgot about that. Oh.

So on the van, Marta's like, how excited are we? How excited are we? We're going right now. How excited are we to go to the couch? We are going to a couch. A couch. The couch. Yeah. Yeah. Campaget. Campaget. Okay, loser has to sleep in the trailer. Okay, like whoever wins, wins, like gets to beat Lexi and whoever loses, he has to sleep in the trailer. And sounds like it's tight. We're going to a luxurious ranch. I mean, there's one bathroom.

I had a panic attack when I had to go number two. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Just shit myself all over again. I mean, I'll do it if you want me to. Well, at least I've got something to say for the next time we play two truths in the mards. Yeah, you know what? At least when I shit my pants, it's doing it with an all-natural button, my right, girls. She goes, it's really easy to go up in life. It's really hard when you come down. Oh my God. Has she got to be easy to come up in life? You married an older face search. I mean I guess that would be easier. Did she go up in life though? Did she? Literally higher. She's above the parameter small march so later. I never have. But property. you could look after the rabbit's ball last time I charged uphill battle meant not easy so

Yeah, so she's freaking out. She was complaining that the bathrooms didn't have locks on them and that There was like it's not the lap of luxury and Marge's like you think you're so fancy. I mean he lived next to cemetery bitch I like that Marge is still funny and like, congenial even when she's being so evil. And just like, that's true. Cossette's true. How many grapes do you have outside of your house? We actually don't have-

We actually don't have just marble columns. We have marble headstones on our property. So they get to the cow pageant and they're all being like assigned cows that they're gonna groom and stuff a Jennifer's like nothing slimy please nothing slimy I'm like that's a tall request on real house wasn't New Jersey. There's a guy the highlight is we are glad you're here. We're gonna have some young man over here. We're gonna try new I had a room the cows

And I've never been a fan of loud animals They can't I'm like you did marriage. Oh, you guys like they they can't talk to you And so you don't know what their thinking thinking and they can't say like hey, what are you doing? So they just like me. I mean to use and stuff, you know, ah that was I remember action fifth grade. I had like this whole like monologue. I would I Guess this was like an attempt at like fifth grade stand-up comedy But I used to tell this to my friends all the time. I'm like guys I would be so much easier if we could all talk like like because if like we could talk with animals They would know like like for instance like it wasn't even like it should be funny

Like it was a sincere thought of mine like what if like you know if you're putting like your foot into like a shoe And there's a scorpion in there if we could talk it be like whoa. Whoa. So sorry. It didn't mean to But they we can't talk so in the like they'll bite you and like poison you my friends probably thought I was crazy Because this is like a sincere concern. You know, like- The sad thing is that makes sense at that age, you know? Teresa's still like this. I'm also like that, again, best little boy in the world.

I'm like, oh my god, Scorpion, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to invade your space. I'm like, we could be better, best little boys in the world. Yeah, deep bad out deep bad. Oh That's cute. I know So they basically just play around with the cows I'm like oh she's offended by your leather pants. He's a plethora. These are plethora. All right. Yeah, and then there's There's like you know, it's the usual stuff like oh look. There's a cow that's peeing

There's a cow that's pooping, and someone goes, we'll name it Jennifer. Oh. Oh. And then Jennifer's like, how do we get used to the smell? Like a fudge, like the asshole. I'm like, you're the one who lives in piramus. Yeah, no kidding. Maybe you should stop wearing so much perfume.

Okay. Yeah. Just the asshole. I like that you projected perfume over buttons of perfume onto her You know she has only Chanel yeah So they so then Jackie's like I don't know if I'm my tired of her Or to smell that her bullshit I don't know if I'm more tired of her or the smell of her being more concerned about her silverware than her children

Am I right everyone am I right? You trust you trust the cow with your children, but not your silverware's So then I guess oh tree is calling Milan way is this right? Milan using my nose no no you're the right place. You're the right place. The tree calls Milan. Yeah Wait, it's just right using my nose. No, no, you're the right place. You're the right place. The street calls the Melania. Did you notice a picture of you, though?

So it says Melania, and then it's a heart emoji, and then it says, or Melania, with a smiley face. No, a kiss smiley emoji. A kiss smiley emoji. I don't know which one it is, any given. I don't know if it's Melania kiss and Melania hats, so I just call both of them at the same time. I just thought if it's not the Melania,

you're sitting on a packet of sushi in the grocery store They really should have an emoji for that just the poop and like a lettuce So me while Jennifer calls Bill. He's like hello Oh, my kid, children miss you. I'm like, how could you be so relaxed when you've got the kids there? I was like, they're all like playing. I'm in here looking at the sunset over beautiful parameters from that window and I'm not window. Luckily, I've given you permission to call me.

I'm so like, I need the girls, like, they kind of don to call me. Mmm. I'm so like, these girls, like, they kind of don't get me, but like, I'm hilarious. And so I was thinking of having a party at our house, but I wanted to make sure I got your permission first. And he goes, Mmm. That's insane.

That's insane. Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good after. Leave me and I do it in my own schedule. But it seems very exciting. See, if maybe we could have a flatable... Inflatable what? It's time for commercial. It's time for a... Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a pair of What? It's time for commercial.

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Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world,

listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. or Wendry app. But crap is commercial. So Jennifer goes downstairs and tells the woman she's like, so you guys, you know, like, I know I've been talking about this house all the time and how big it is and you really have to see it to believe it. That way you get my humor then. So I was thinking you guys could all come over to the house next week and it's like so great.

I've had people compare to Monte Carlo or Hotel in France. I'm like are you talking about like a Buick Monte Carlo or like you know not all hotels in France are good. Is that a beauty Monte Carlo? Whatever it is. I'm just watching you like a TV because we're in person. Yeah. It's so dark. How can I use this Friday? It never looks the biggest ball of rabbits. It's just she makes her for a random joke. Yeah, rabbits, you know what I'm saying? So then they're all like whatever, we have to see this house all weekend before she kicked

off the show. So now they all go off to the hotel. We do a hold down. Whoa. And Melissa's like, what the hell down? I mean, back when I was working on the shore, that was just called calling and sick. Hold down.

Back when I was working on the Jersey shore, they just called the, that's what they said when someone fell over on the boardwalk. Hold down. That's what they said when someone fell over on the boardwalk. Hold down. I know, because it's been me. That's how I met Joey. Marge was like, we're dancing with the cat boys,

I've been here literally 20 times. Yeah, so like, oh, I'd be a pommot, I'd be a pommot. That's what we're gonna do. And Teresa's like, My mother won't like that. Oh, I think I guess in the judis should be friends. So now speak rich. We now go over to Joey Gorega You know that's hey he's the other alpha and it's another season of joping another housewife Except when he does his testimonials,

the camera is right in this one face. Why is it every season, the camera's right here in his face? Maybe he requests it. I think it's up the whole TV. We want to see his mussely bodies, stop that, Bravo. Yeah. It's so funny though, you can always tell.

I feel like Joe's doing that at home on his own web camera with a computer screen behind him and just sending it in. I think so. But just in case the show sucks as much as it usually does, he has some footage of me getting a housewife. Yeah. So he shows up at this restaurant with no no but also Melissa's mom Donna who's like, okay

she's drunk already. Oh there's a chair. He's like, hey, if you want something to drink. He's like Oh, what the fuck the god The mom's like maybe I have a little drink There's this pizza come with a good son who visits his father And I was like let me tell you a drunk Don is better than drunk Melissa If I was a little older, forget about it!

I'd have both of them at the same time So, once again, No No is like When she's a gun, you're... you're... What is it? No, no What the hell you think of? For two weeks you don't see me! For two, I haven't been in your car in 35 minutes

Oh, no, no listen bitchy ass. No, no you still got your meal paid for okay? Yeah, no problem coming up for a free meal stop blaming Melissa anyway. I blame Melissa for everything She's my brandy of this show Melissa is wrong all the time to me but She's my brandy of this show Melissa is wrong all the time to me but Still no, no stop your bitch, okay. I wouldn't go see you either. Yeah. I want no no and Donna to hang out more Cuz I think they're cute together and their names are what lightning really there was like severe light What house is probably burning up? I hear I Oh my god, you guys it

Can you hear it? Oh my god? I'm never getting my electricity back in this stupid town There are never thunderstorms in Los Angeles the fact that we're here together. Yes, Gary the stuff right that was that was Ponte tree. I'm just watching that palm tree low it blow my god. You'll see I live in that Well, this is scary. So we're we're courting this podcast the same day We recorded Dallas when I lost my electricity ten times and had to come to Ben's house I mean we are in person wait a second. You know we're doing oh a lot to talk about this afterwards if you don't have electricity tonight You can be in real trouble Well probably that's time for that anyway

Anyway the point is nobody come Anyway, the point is nobody comes in. No, no! They dander and rain on the common pen is here. Not when men is away. No, I haven't had dander and men in two weeks. Two weeks. No, no, sounds like any person trying to pass a kidney stone. He's like, oh!

He also sort of sounds like a cappuccino machine. So it's like a live. Good, I have an order of all foam. So now let's go back to the hood out. It's like a bass turn purple. So they're at the hood down. That's a face-dream purple. Yes. So they're at the hood down, there's like a tent and there's like, they're outside. They're like, oh my God, what's that?

What's that? I'm like, you guys don't know about Cornhole. Come on. Now. They say Cornhole. She's like, I love Cornhole. I was like, you're off the clock. Okay.

Something else I learned about on the Shua. So they get inside and she's like, eh, there, there's like, Piling, how do we learn to dance to step Something else I learned about on the show So they get a sign trees like If I walk three steps and I'm not doing the two steps I was like I was rather not I'm rather not Turkish women need to be respectful of who they're, they need to be respectful of their husbands. I couldn't imagine telling him,

I danced with a hot cowboy. Dosie da, how about Dosie da? Ooh, Jennifer! How can he not out too? He would never do never told me! Yeah, the husband's watching this at home grabbing her knee and like, oh, you're going to do the dishes after this, right? Oh, two steps.

When you're Chanel booth, I just got you. Oh man, let's do step. And more two dishes. How about instead of two step, 16 step, and by step I made bedrooms. Vav room. So the more it's just like, I have never been called, ma'am, so much,

since I've been here. And you know what? I love it. I love it. You know what, this is like, this is like being in the kitchen and thanks there and Frank Jr.'s there and that door is there and the dogs there and the masses there. This is what it feels like.

It feels like a crowded house, but I don't have that. You know what's okay? I go home. I'm alone. Cabin, it's got an answering machine still. Sometimes I watch full of house just to feel like some of is there. Sometimes I just let no one is. Yeah.

Sometimes I just fill my Britopitcher and say, I I just pretend the pictures my house and the what is my family? And I watch it go through And that's what life is watching the water go through the filter and you drink it. Give me one water So I'm saying the hoodie on's like done. It's like what I am just sitting there on chair talking So Melissa's like I'm gonna go check out Jogrel pig. So she calls Joan. She calls Joan's like, Jog, it's a real storm.

She's like, oh, sorry, no, that's just your dad. That's just my dad never. No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! You never blow the wind with on me! Oh my God, my poor neighbors Like my poor at neighbors. I used to have this neighbor who worked from home and every time she's so nice And every time she saw me she would just kind of look at me weird, you know She got a day job and I can't blame her. This is just like this all day in my house And Donnamy was her. This is just like this all day in my house. BOOH! BOOH!

And Dona Mimal is drunk, she's like, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE enough credit. He spends as much time with my mother as his father You know, I also have a widow mother And I'm like, okay now we're having dead parent Competitions you and Teresa need to stop okay. I'm sick of watching you and Teresa fight I'm also sick of watching you and Teresa pretend to get along, but I'm loving I'm loving this adorable art house film about No No and Donna becoming friends and bonding over Like the torture of being like widow and widower. It's like so heartwarming. Yeah Not many not many know in the park and play cards. That's all lonely.

Yeah, no plays, like a Mark Foster movie. Forstory. We can order the hands because the hand that would be holding the phone knows it won't be busy today. I'm in the shadows. You're in the deep end. Oh! I don't know why I tricked into Star's born. I know I know it's born.

So she's like, well, this is the main thing is such a good husband. And he's like, just make sure you tell my sister. Now watch that. I'm gonna go masturbate in front of No, No, and Don and see if they like it. Some Melissa, Melissa like goes back in the hood. I was like, oh my God, I just had the most amazing face time. Joe was with No, No.

Again, I repeat, my husband Joe, your brother Joe, is with No No. So almost like his name could be yes, yes, because they're yes, yes, they're hanging out. Kind of kind of. Okay, it's kind of guy that. And Teresa's so mad at this news. She's so ridiculous. She's just like blinking really fast and like looking to the side. You know how she does where she's like, Blink, Blink. Uh, she just looks all over the room like she's scanning the room. And Dolores is like, well, she makes the point of letting Tree know that Joe's with the father.

Tread lightly. This could spark the biggest fire New Jersey's ever seen. I'm like, have you ever been to a fire New Jersey's ever seen I'm like have you ever been to rest one New Jersey. It's called insurance money. Have you been to train because they have fires in the World. Okay, rail rails. Yeah, I was getting all the details about rails for my cousin and I forgot all the important stuff, but she went to rails recently, which was fun. So Really good anecdote. Is everything okay over there? I'm just looking at all the marks. I leave on the table Well, it's a glass table So, really good anecdote. Is everything okay over there? I'm just looking at all the marks I leave on the table. Well, it's a glass table. Don't worry.

Hey, you know what, I got wind decks. I got wind decks. There's a reason I got the wind decks right over there because you have a glass table. When the glass table comes in, you gotta leave it on the oil. Listen, you know what, like, Frank's in the Florida a lot and Franky Jr. Yeah, so I've got to wash down my own table. So I can hold it like this. But I actually like having I like the fingers I like Yeah, but you know, don't you just see squid? You know, though I like having the fingertips

I like seeing the fingerprints or makes me feel like people are there So so tree will just not let Melissa have this she's like well, it's nice that Joe's helping out when I'm gone But what about when I'm around when I got children's take care of I'm like I think I'm not ah Okay, maybe go to the gym more I told you to take care of it. I'm like, I didn't think I'm gonna. No, okay, okay. Maybe go to the gym more, don't we help? So, by the way, was Joe ever a big help around the house? How is it so different without Joe Judi's being in your house than it is now?

You've got more food in your fridge. You like more beer. You have like 100% less grimace walking around. And I talk about grimace from McDonald's. It should be easier. So Jennifer, meanwhile, Jennifer's like another part of the ho-down and Pauli introduces her to like a plastic surgeon and she's like, oh look,

cause your husband's a plastic surgeon, here's a plastic surgeon in Oklahoma. And Jennifer's like, oh, how's plastic surgery in Oklahoma? It's like, oh, they don't use anesthesia. What do you want them to say? She's such an asshole. She just wanted to say, my husband's a plastic surgeon.

So what is it like here? And he's like busy. And she's like, he's chancers. And then probably goes, she thinks we live in the third world country. Which is, that's like polyshade. I like, I like polyshade. Yeah, I like polyshade too

She's like she thinks we live in the third world country I'm proven they're wrong by making her a pecan path with my hands Listen my sis will real forgetting a show on the food network fell through and is the best I can do so I'm gonna shake her while I can So there was a we see them going through the buffet line, which is hilarious because no one knows what anything is Yeah, don't you have meat over there? Like, is barbecue really that crazy? There's no barbecue restaurant in Jersey. Jackie goes, what's that?

And I said, brisket, she's like, oh. It doesn't look like bread. So, Jenna, so then Melissa and Jennifer are co-signing up to the bar to get some cocktails. Melissa's saying that she's really excited to have Jennifer as a drinking partner because no one else in the group really drinks. Jennifer is being horrible. Yeah, so Jennifer orders a tequila on ice and a red cop and then she tastes and she goes,

ah, this tastes like rubbing alcohol. Do you have any of that Chanel tequila? Do you have any white diamonds here? Uh, so intense. Melissa's like, we're outside in the tent, just drink, girl. She's like, I got a whole mind now, and then she like puts her diamond ring up while she holds her nose. Oh, she's like such a gross person, and I cannot wait until you're bankrupt.

I cannot fucking wait until your husband is sued for botching some of his damn face Which you know it's about to happen cuz I can see yours. Oh take all your money and your ass is poor We'll see how much you like that beautiful trailer that you almost got to stay with hard would that's right Because then you guys let's get down and dirty hillbilly style. I'm like hillbilly. That's not okay Hillbilly is not Oklahoma hillbilly is is if you're gonna use a Hillbilly store, you use that in like, I'm assuming like Appalachia or something like that. Yeah, get a straight line.

Straight, lures. Oklahoma, I don't even know what an Oklahoma's store is. It's like, not even a store. I don't know. I don't know, really. I just think, oh, okay, oh, hey, hey, oh, hey, oh, oh, my home. And he got a clue.

Or I think that finally, Brianna's escaped. I know, congratulations. It's Arachanna, Mike, waiting for Ryan to pop up with his crazy ass like, get your treat off the cow. Brianna looks great these days. Like, the better she looks, the worse Ryan looks.

Oh, God, yeah. It's like, he's marriages though. He looks like someone I'd see at like a diner off the side of the highway. You're like, you're in front. Yeah. With like that hat out. Yeah, hat like you're scared of him

because he's gonna like punch in the face for no good reason. Yeah. He's like shaking quarters and you're like, I know that's fake because who has quarters anymore? And no, get us together Ryan. So now Jennifer is drunk and she's just making an asser herself at this hotel and she's like, barbecue, can we get any more cliche? You're the cliche one cliche.

I'm like, how about a big rubber-faced, bouncy house lit lady being a zombie biatch? Yeah, you're a dance. You know what, you're intersecting C San for a cliche and cliche. C and C music factory. C and C. Yeah, not channel. Cut thatness and cop that instant cop that. Yeah Jim's coming together. I actually I was talking in a math about that

It's so I just have to say it's so much more fun doing Dolores in person because we can see each other's face faces Because in person we do the the two of us we do the full Dolores face like well it's like the shrugs and the size and the looking of the sava you know you can't with that girl I mean barbecue I like barbecue it reminds me like my family barbecue you know banks and Florida though and the Laura's like you know I think that she just doesn't know better because no one who knew better would talk like that. Yeah, Margaret's like, well, I guess we'll find out we're gonna detach Mahau And I like to look Nailed in eloine ties. Mahau. I know when I know no one's keeping school up at

I this actually made me laugh out loud because the Laura's just guess this look on her face like oh This fucking house I've been hearing about for three fucking days I just cracked up like I hear you House I've been hearing about for three fucking days I hear you I guess she has a fountain a fountain there to forget she has the fountain and Tracy goes I got a fountain Yeah, that's Teresa I bet you a hubbid you to say look at my beautiful fountain that I have that you don't have you a bragging about your fountain She's like yeah, cuz Teresa never brags. Have you ever watched it? So I can't believe Teresa even still has the house She lived in with her giant angel wings angel winged doors. Yeah, I am angel wings. We ask you can all angels and

So Jack is like this has better be fucking spectacular better see all sorts of metal detectors. That's what I want to see And then spectacular better see all sorts of metal detectors that's what I want to see and then uh so much dance up for instance maybe people just think oh Teresa she's like I think they mean some of the stamps is hers she's like math in time uh they just don't get that fat than you ma I'm like okay so this is the one she thinks it's gonna stick up for her against the person right I think that like I think people don't understand, she's hot, she's hot to understand. She's like baskets. Like what are baskets?

How do they work? What? I got a question. I got a question. What's a basket case? You keep baskets in a case or is it like when a basket commits a murder or something and then someone opens a case? Like, or is a case made of baskets?

And then how do you do that? Like, why do they call these weird things this? They're on the case in baskets. On this, the end. Yeah. So, um, so then they're back at the ranch house now and Jennifer is still holding onto her solo cup and she's like, how cool is it that we can drink

like wine out of a solo cup and be like totally cool with it and this trash bag state they called Okla. Does it even have a name? Okla something? I haven't even bothered to learn it. Just promise or nothing. You know what I'm saying? And then Dolores, could you see yourself living here? No, I'm surprised. And then probably say, well, it's a country experience because she's got kind of that text, but also her jersey thing. It's a country experience, not everyone gets that. And Jen's like, for, I get to use what? I want like glamour. I want like multiple toilets.

I want like big tour roofs of a mall. I want like, Paramus. You know, glamour. You can't spell glamour without Paramus, okay? Like what are we gonna do here cow tipping like if I stay here again? I was staying a hotel and probably like I'm gonna go walk around there before I kill a bit Right on this strong. Yeah, okay. I'm largest you know it you know it right now. I'm getting really happy I'm I'm happy. I'm happy. You know what you have you ever seen something that's tough half Poe Guess what it should call it Huffy Poe you know what they just called it Marge Poe because I'm really H it right now I'm getting really happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. You know what? Have you ever seen something that's tough? Huff Poe? Guess what? It's called Huffie Poe.

You know what? They just call it Marge Poe because I'm really Huffie right now. Yeah, you know how Huffie I'm getting? I'm turning it to a bike. Okay, some kids are gonna come here and start riding me around the block like a bike. You know what? You can call me. I'm like a French actress. Just call me Olivia Huffie. Okay. I'm Huffie. I'm Huffie. So Paulie gets up there and she's coming, Olivia Huffie. Okay, I'm Huffie, I'm Huffie. So, Paulie gets up there and she's like, speech, speech, speech. Oh yeah, sorry.

I thought they were at home, but they weren't. My bad. It was close though, because this is where she started. That stuff all did happen though, right there. Yeah. So, Paulie gives a speech and it's like, so moving. And then, she's like, I wanna thank Margaret. Margaret's wonderful.

She's so wonderful. I've known her for 20 years. We're doing this thing with the hospital gowns. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da And that means a lot. You know? In France for 20 years. Yes. Says something. I'm impressed. I'm impressed. It's almost like I didn't give the woman a chance because I was blindly sickened up for a lunatic lassies and everybody knew what's wrong and I probably did too. But I believe royalty is the most important thing.

And I'll go to hell for believing that and following those footsteps every time. Yeah. Not that I'm about to make the same mistake. No. It's a reset at all. It's not the same thing at all. It's totally different. I just, I get the sense that Margaret, the sort of person that Paulie would probably bite

someone in the face for and I get that. I've done that. I've been there. So then, yeah, Margaret gives her a speech and she just, I'm about to thank her for hosting us because I know we're in lot with Loupie ticks. I'm in the sweat. Let's face it. We're looted tics. And then a tree's like, Howdy! Howdy! Howdy. Howdy. Why don't you come visit us in Cherries

and you see us stay with me? And then, yeah, and then someone else was like, stay with me, you stay with me, and then Jennifer's like, what about me? I got 16 bathrooms. Marv is just like, shut up, you bitch. And everybody's like awkward. I mean even in Oklahoma. That's awkward

You know what I You know the market goes you know pledging you've got a succeed toilet that's somebody toilets You could take a shit to different what every day for two weeks Jennifer's like yeah, she's like yeah, you could finally you got it So trees like you know Polly like I feel like I could be best for it I find my Polly I thought I had known known to have food like so long and I realized it's only because I've taken a lot of Polly's During the times and camps Um every time I saw Stavale's in the past she's always told me that I was telling the truth

So it was so weird talking to Paulie's this time because She didn't hook me up to machines and I was like that's nice for once So now that you're back at the ranch. I'm sorry everyone. I hate getting my facts and her actually So they get back and I was like did you have that ever like? I got it. I have to but try and then just because what did you have that? I was like, oh my god, I have to have a trend. And then, just because, what was that? Country music? Oh, it was a snow, a snow.

Listen, you don't have to like country music. I don't particularly love country music myself, but I'm not gonna go to a country show. I'm not gonna go, I'm not gonna go to someone else's to tell her from be like, this music, what a snow. That'd be like if someone came here to this apartment and was like, Dave Matthews band, lame.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That's like someone going to church and being like, what does somebody's songs talk about holes? Like, holy holy holy holy holy holy. Like, it's like a second band, second band. Right, time for real. No, but for real, it's like,

it's like just know your audience Jennifer. Like know where you are. Like have like some awareness. She's an idiot. idiot. Oh like we see where you mean I'm a fast Shut up. I know so then Jen marge is like What was fun? It was kind of it's just called it was fun It's not music and just saying she could have played some house music. I mean cater to the guests They did cater to the guest You guys didn't even know what they were serving yeah, yeah, exactly house music

So anyway, so much that that that's such a inappropriate you essentially an appropriate no seems bad madness But oh, she's like that's so socially an approach. Oh, you know what crime. You're rhythm Margaret Crime your river Seriously, you have the worst man. I said I've seen a lot of bad matters. Okay. What I see Marcenius Best man. I Totally disagree with that. I have the best Manners this chair is ugly I'm you're trying to weather people that's what you do right now

It's like you're trying to what up it's like something's always gonna be better. I don't like the music I don't like the music. I better music look at the sense that I better sense it You know, it's not like who's dick is bigger. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying But Bill's dick is the biggest of all I have to say So then poly comes in as they're talking about like trying to be more respectful to poly Yeah, and then as they're talking about like trying to be more respectful to Polly. And then just because it stops, you just keeps going. Just, you know, I do speak more fast than what I'm thinking. But I'm not going to change myself for you.

I really hate when people say, I know. Well, I also, I'm a monster, but I'm not going to change for you. Yeah. If you know you're being a monster, change. Yeah. Change for you. How about that? I do speak more fast when I'm thinking,

I do speak more fast than what I'm thinking. I'm like, yes, for instance, saying more fast instead of faster. Yeah, I mean, even going in on the grammar there. Yeah. I can't stand that I'm not going to change who I am. Or I've been opinion, I'm entitled to it, like, oh my goodness.

This is a woman who is still upset that she wasn't cast under as she was 10 years ago. And this is her next stop on the fame train or sister act. So that she's like, you know, you just, you just, you're like, you're not just, that's what you are, you're obnoxious and she's like, oh yeah, you want a medal, you want a medal? And then Polly speaks up, Polly who's been like above the fray because she's like not a housewife like that.

And she's like, Polly's, you know what? It is offensive. I have opened my home and what I hope is a real gracious way. That was my intention to be offensive. She goes, well, usually that's not in people's intentions to be offensive. It was shock value. And she's like, why?

She goes, now I'll tell you what shock value, Henny, a trailer. I'll tell you what shock value you Henny a trailer I'll tell you what shock value is building a mansion on top of a hill and realizing you're in a dump Jennifer's like I just think that punchline should be funny I'm like shut the fuck up name one can someone call over the priorities and feed this woman to them so much is like it's not but defensive, that's it, they sleep with the trailer. They can sleep with the trailer. And she's, what is it with you and the trailer, Margaret?

Like this girl's a little bit of a trailer. You're the one with the trailer. I'm trying to start a fight for nothing. She's a little bit of a... And then she gives this like totally insincere apology where she goes, you know what? I really didn't realize that I was drinking. I didn't realize how I was being,

but now that I say the words out loud, I realize it could be mean. I didn't mean to do that. So, Polly, I'd like to apologize to you about the sunset. I won up to you. I'm sorry. And I never would have had this experience at the four seasons. I was like, oh my god. Oh my god. He needs to be sent to the motel. I gotta give Jen credit because she really is coming on in the first part of the season on her, probably her oldie season, and just being an awful human being. And I hope that she's trying to do it to entertain us because there really is only so much I can take of Melissa and Teresa pretending to fight.

Where's her pizza restaurant? I don't think this is, yeah, I don't think this is gonna be an only season for her actually. Because she's really being the villain that we need. Someone totally obnoxious, lack of self-awareness. But she's not being craven. She's not just, but she's just crazy. And I wouldn't, I would not be surprised if we spend

this entire season talking about how much we can't stand her and then next season come around and be like Oh my god, she's so amazing. That's what happens That's like what happens with every single batshit lady on Bravo. Yeah, Leanne Camille grammar. I mean some of the some we we need like a season off to appreciate like the villainy and then we're like Oh, yeah Also, we need someone else to fight, because I really, like, Marge is, I don't like watching Marge to fight. Like, I thought she'd up with Ziggy and such.

It's fun when you're watching someone crazy, like Ziggy go for Marge and just watching Marge stay calm. Yeah. And making Ziggy even more psycho, like by the second. But, Jennifer, I don't know. I think they're gonna have to do something with Melissa and Teresa. Something has to happen with those two,

because I can't with those two. I can't, but at least... They're doing the same fake bullshit they are every other season. It's boring. Yeah, this one actually... I was afraid it was gonna be like that, but I actually think this no-no fight that they're having, it doesn't feel as fake as I thought, and I'm not as annoyed by it as I thought it would be. But... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH's, before we sign off for the weekend, let's dip in very quickly to the crap-ins mailbag.

Ding dong ding dong ding dong dong dong dong dong dong dong dong dong dong dong This is where our Patreon supporters can write in questions, comments, whatever you want, and we'll read them on the air. So if you want to do that, go to patreon.com. So I'll just watch for a crap ends. So we haven't been able to do this for a few weeks because of Thanksgiving, etc. And we do promise you to all these questions. We have so many to get through. So here's one, a nice easy one for us This is from Shavan O'Brien Shavan one of our

one of our most ardent supporters Shavan says in honor of Top Chef coming back and Thanksgiving coming up. So obviously this was like Before Thanksgiving she wrote this but in honor of Top Chef and Thanksgiving Do you have any suggestions on sides and desserts you've done in the past that went over well? And by the way, sorry, sorry, Shavan, that we're answering this after Thanksgiving, but maybe you can use this advice in the holiday season. Yeah, still the holiday case. Okay, it's still a lot of cooking. It's not gonna be done. It's the same kind of cooking. Yeah. Um, Ronnie, what about you? Do you have

any sides of desserts that you made recently that you or you don't have to eat? Well, I was here when I was still eating the meat. I did a homemade, well, you don't need meat to do this, but I made homemade cornbread. Like buttermilk cornbread. It was delicious. Yum.

Learned it from Alex Cornish Shelley. And thought was amazing. And then I made, I took that and made homemade stuffing. That was stunning. I'll make mac and cheese every year, that's always good. And then what's my other thing? I've been resting potatoes, but I'm not killing it at that, I have to say. Really? I made some pumpkin flondes here for my family and they're like, Why have your flondes, you idiots? Why have your potatoes not been killing it?

Because on the holidays you have to cook everything in the same temperature of the oven Yeah, so I'm not used like I'm used to roasting the F out of a potato I like a crispy crusty and you have to like take it out of the oven and turn it every you want it to be like every 15 minutes Chris Pinyas have been like, yeah, but when you're with Well, you've got a million things cooking, especially when there's one oven, you can't just be pulling stuff out. And every time you open the door,

it takes heat away from other things than you're running the other things. So I just have, I have a time to single-person cooking. Right. Yeah. I, so I have made several really good sides recently. There's, in fact, right here on this table,

this book right here, dining in. Whoa, dining in. Dining in by Allison Roman. One of our listeners was very kind enough to give this to me. It's so far been a great cookbook. And on top of that, I made something from it like about a week and a half ago that was so divine. It was a roasted winter squash.

So I used an acorn squash, which I'd never used before, which was fun to do. But you basically, you roast the squash with some honey, you roast it with like honey and coconut oil. And while that roasts, you make a coconut granmolata, which is basically like cilantro and lemon zest and coconut flakes. There's maybe some other stuff in there.

But the acorn squash on its own was like really delicious and then you add the granmolata and it was just like one of those things like very simple ingredients, very simple procedure. But like add that extra layer of flavor, that's just so wonderful. So that one I really enjoyed. You know, I've been cooking a lot. I mean, oh, I made something from Inaigarne's new cookbook, cook like a pro. I made this for a friend's giving.

I made, it's like a Pharaoh salad. It's called like Charlie Bird's Pharaoh salad. Oh yeah, my little Pharaoh. So Pharaoh is so good. I love the texture of Pharaoh. So if you have Inaigarne's new cookbook, that is great. And something I have not made, but our listener, Jess, suggested to us was Inegarde's Collie Flower Toast,

which she said are phenomenal. So what someone made cauliflower, like a baked potato type thing, but with cauliflower, where you do that, it's she called it a fully loaded baked potato cauliflower or something. And it was just everything you put in a baked potato, like a twice baked potato, right?

So the sour cream to cheese, butter, but made with cauliflower. Yeah, I love that. The other thing, oh, and I made, I actually made a stovetop mac and cheese last week for the fun of it. Oh, yum. I used a recipe from the Food Lab. That book right out there.

And I messed up, I accidentally put in two pounds of macron instead of one pound. So it was supposed to be super creamy. So as a result, it was only halfway creamy, but it was still creamy but it was so good and it was so easy it was like so much easier than actually doing like a baked mac and cheese because like I mean I do it stovetop anyway you just bake it after you do the stovetop right I guess I could have done that but it was it was just like yeah you just you know just like that season it was so good what else is on that list, Airbnb? You know what, I am so hungry,

we have to talk about that. I think we have to- I'm gonna close the bag prematurely because now I am starving. You can start it. He's back closer. I know, I'm starving too. Let's cook it some fit.

Yeah, so you guys, thanks for listening, have a wonderful weekend. We'll be back on Monday to talk some. I guess we're talking no no we're talking Atlanta and Maritom medicine yeah Atlanta and Maritom medicine the Shaws reunion yeah probably on the bonus episode sorry something has to get pushed to bonus episode so why don't we make that like a we'll decide on Monday we'll get pushed to the bonus yeah we'll figure it out so you guys want to hear the end of Shaws getting restless fine fine we can do that we'll we'll figure it out. So you guys want to hear the end of shots. So getting Fine, fine. We can do that. We'll we'll suck it out

We're gonna be spending a lot of time together next week because we're going on Asheville So we'll be traveling together. So we'll have time to talk about everything. Oh, that's actually truth We could do it. We can do a shot through. We'll figure something out. Okay, everybody. We'd love you We'll talk to you next time. Bye Everyone next time. Bye everyone. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Waterppens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.