Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Dog & Ponytail Show

Episode Date: January 10, 2020

It's the fight that everyone's been talking about on Real Housewives of New Jersey: Marge pours water on Danielle's head, Danielle yanks Marge's ponytail. Old school stripper fighting. Plus, Frankie Jr. walks in Melissa's Envy fashion show, and Jackie teaches us about yogurt. Get tix to our live shows: http://watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened?

What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real House Rose of Kitchen Island. You can catch that on YouTube.

It's a cartoon, go subscribe. And joining me is someone who hosts something that can also be subscribed to. It's Ronnie Karam of the Rose Praised Bachelors podcast, which you should subscribe to. What's going on Ronnie? Hi. Hi. So, uh,

it's floppy. It's floppy. It's floppy. You guys, it is Thursday, which is a great day of the week. Love Thursday. I love a Thursday. Love a Thursday. Love a Thursday.

Love a Thursday. Thursday. I love a Thursday. Love a Thursday. Thursday. The reason why that's important is because you may not know what day it is. I just told you and now you know. The other thing is that we are going to be recapping Real House Wise on New Jersey today, which is great. Major major fun on that show. Also, this is a crap in on demand episode. That means you can not only listen to us. You can watch us like if you were watching us right now, you'd be able to see Ronnie looking at himself in his phone. Let's check in my teeth.

Your teeth look great. I just say that tortilla. Uh-oh. The point is this. We have our web cams on. So go to patreon.com slash watch or crap in. And if you support us at the crap is on demand level, you can watch this recap not just listen to it. And then like, next week we got the crappies, so go vote for the crappies, that's at watchcraftens.com. And after the crappies, we're gonna go on the road

for a few months. Here is where we're going. If you hear your city, go to watchcraftens.com and buy a ticket, buy a ticket for your friend, buy a ticket for your babysitter, do whatever you want. Buy just just buy tickets. So we're going to go to Detroit, Columbus, Austin, Texas, we got two shows there, Houston, Texas, Hoover, Alabama, Nola, I'm so excited to eat some benyes and crawfish in Nola.

Lauren's fucking Kansas, Omaha, Nebraska, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma City, Azbury Park, Washington, D.C Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma City, Asbury Park, Washington, D.C., San Francisco, and Boston, Massachusetts. I haven't actually checked the ticket counts in any of those places since the holidays, but we will circle back and let you know which ones are low and you should really move on if you're on defense. But honestly, just on. All of them, okay. My daughter, Evry didn't get to where she is in the financial industry by not moving on things, okay? So do it.

Do it. Roni was like texting someone while I did that. I can see you, Roni. I can see what you're doing. I was trying to sign something, but God forbid, we use papers and pens anymore. People have to send you everything on a goddamn PDF And then you're like how do I sign it and then you send it over to your other thing and it's like how do I do it and then how do I save it?

I'm going I'm having old man moments over here old man Ronnie moments. That's okay. That's okay Let's move on to old lady moot moments on real house as a New Jersey shall we? How dare you call these ladies old? They're not old. They're just older than we are. Actually, not Melissa Gorgah, Melissa Gorgah, 40, so she's younger than us. Yes, I say to you every birthday,

I give you the gift of always being younger than me. You know, it's a few years, but it's always gonna feel amazing. Your whole life, you're gonna be like, Oh my God, it's so old feel amazing your whole life you're gonna be like oh my god he's so oh three years old him and me so we were obviously off last week which was a shame because Bravo aired such a good episode I don't know why would Bravo air these great episodes when everyone's traveling or vacationing or whatever I don't understand I feel like it's not very fan-friendly but so be it it's what happened but. But it was a hilarious, hilarious, hilarious episode.

Like everything about it was good. Like Dolores went to a gym with her dad, and it was like, you know, dad, he got a pedal hard. I was like, well, you know what? I got a Snickers ball for breakfast today. I don't know, I'll g'dad. Seems like that.

Yeah. Maybe one day we'll do the whole thing. We are going to definitely talk about the fight and stuff, because you know it is a housewife show, so we love... We love us some ladies fighting in a store. It is so good. So, I mean, basically, what happened last week is that Teresa decided to get all the ladies together

at this boutique hosted by her friend, a boutique called, like, Stephen Dan or something like that or Dan's Steven. Stephen Dan. Yeah, something like that. So they all were gathering and Treesa's there with Danielle. And Danielle, before they all went, Danielle texted everyone because there's a group threat, group text message. She's like, I'll be there with a very expensive outfit.

Basically a Versace outfit. That looks essentially her outfit. I know it's Versace and I've seen it around before and people are like, ooh, that's like an expensive Versace thing. In my mind, it looks like a, like a handkerchief that someone turned into a full body outfit. Yeah. You know, or like the lining of a really cheap bag you buy downtown's like San Tiali or something. Yeah, but because it's for Sons, everyone's like, oh, it's beautiful.

I'm gonna pay $10,000 for it. Yes, poor people who are obsessed with like one day having money, hi, one of them tend to do a lot of really tacky things like, oh my God, look at my $800 belt. And it's like, yeah, but you're wearing old Navy pants still and rich people are looking at you like you're stupid. Yeah, I firmly believe that all these fashion houses,

they release a certain amount of clothing that are just like chic and are just meant for people with good taste and good style. And it was like, ooh, this Versace jacket, just fits me like a glove. And it's so well crafted. This is amazing And then they just have crazy stuff that they let their junior designers make or whatever that they know No one really would ever want to buy except for poor people who just came into money who are like I got Versace

They just made they're like let's just see what let's just see what crazy thing we can throw at the poor people to see what they're gonna Actually buy oh they bought that wow I we we I made a shirt that has like Mona Lisa, but on a go with a swirly patterns and they bought it. Okay. Yeah, those idiots about it. It's kind of like when you're at the airport, it baggage baggage claim and you're waiting for your luggage to come down and you know, it's like a Southwest flight. You saw you saw the guy come in and group see like in his dirty sweatpants or whatever and he's waiting for his like Louis Vuitton luggage. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. We're in the same boarding group on Southwest. Please get over yourself.

I know or like a like a track suit that just says Versace or Hermani and you're like yeah it's track suit. So the title of last week. I mean I should say that I'm making all this like vicious commentary while wearing a watch or crap and head batch t-shirt. So, you know, well, why that? Yeah, there's nothing less pretentious than that. Yeah. Okay.

I'm wearing an old Navy stereo on my shirt. And now that I look at it, put the speakers right where my boobs are hanging. They shouldn't be hanging there, but that's where they are hanging. So thanks for that great, exciting video today. Ron, you're doing a lot of serious today. So last week's episode was titled, uh, uh, hair today and gone tomorrow. And this week's is titled, Abs and Jabs. Oh, Abs and Jabs. Oh, I like it.

It's all about violence, it's all about hair pulling and jabbing. Yeah. So the women are at this boutique and basically everything has started off okay, you know, but one thing that led up to this episode was that as everyone's like hanging around and like they're sort of shopping in this boutique like it like a like a Stephen Dan's cheese yeah cheese aster at mal boutique let's just call it when it was across Stradma Chico's I know this because I saw the Chico's across the street in the background and the Stephen Dan guy is ridiculous he's got like a Peter Wig on for Vanderpump rules. And they're like, oh my god, I love this candle. Steven Dan it is.

How much is this candle? And he's like, oh, I'm 650. It was hand-painted in Italy. Oh. So embarrassed. Please. It's from Paramus. So yeah, so as more and more people arrive,

they're all kind of like gathering together, especially once Margaret gets there. And they're kind of just like talking shit about Danielle. They're being actual full mean girls. And Danielle knows it. Yeah, they're being terrible. They are actually being terrible. And Danielle is right there and Teresa is right there.

And they're like, what the fuck? If they had just ignored Danielle, I would get that because Danielle's horrible. She's a monster. She's a bored human being. And I don't care if they don't want to hang out with her, but they're just being mean. You know, it makes me crazy on these housewives shows. And it's not the first time I've said it this week, but can you just learn to be victimized by somebody and not make them the the one that's being bullied?

You know, Danielle's the worst. you know, Daniels, the worst. Don't make her look like the victim. Yeah, because I am team classic Marge all the way. What are my all-time favorite housewives? I love her. Like she is just the best. But she's also getting singularly obsessed with Danielle to put on. It's like you really shouldn't be the success of Danielle's stop because no one else is. Yeah, no one, no one else cares. You're giving it life. Yeah, it's like way too much life. It's like someone's mom right now. Like you're giving it life, honey.

Giving it life. So they are like talking shit about Danielle and Teresa's like, That's my friend. So she's starting to feel like a feel sort of way. She's also Teresa's been throwing back the champagne the entire time. So she's gonna get herself all riled up. She's also Teresa's been throwing back the champagne the entire time. So

She's gonna get herself all riled up and before this Danielle told Teresa Listen, I This thing is gonna be horrible for me and I want these ladies to treat me with respect It's very important you have my back and she's like all right important you have my back and trees like alright yeah so they basically the two then like march up to the women who are talking about them and they they basically start confronting them about mainly Theresa Danielle is actually pretty quiet during this part she's sort of let's Theresa take the lead in confronting the women and telling them to sort of like shut up. Yeah, I think guys, it's one of her. And Marge is like, you know what? I have Death Hick to get shit yelled.

Okay, but Death Hick to do with you. I mean, I have Death Hick to get you. What Death Hick to do with you. Is that Emmy and one nine to do with her? Then why would you tell them bodies? You'll do everything in your powers to make sure these two don't ever get back together. And I have to just stop and congratulate Teresa.

That's like the longest sentence I think Teresa is strung together in a long time. It was conceptually advanced and it was good. It was good. She really she remembered her facts. She remembered her remembered like what was going on. It was like it like almost as impressive as the time she saw the sign in Jamaica and was able to be like, Hey, that's like what Margaret said, I was able to link the concepts and create a moment around it. I was just really grown so much. Yeah, Tari so wow.

So, Marge just rolls her eyes at Teresa and she's like, Yeah, you said like, now you kind of broke them off. You broke them soft, you shoes, you broke them so I see you you broke them Yeah, this is already screaming and yelling and Danielle's like what's the problem trout mouth which is like her big like Insul tomorrow But also Danielle have you seen yourself like who are you calling trout mouth? Oh? I'm an eggless fish If she's a trout mouth, you're the singing bass. You know, like come on. Yeah, she's singing some old standards. Some Barbara. Yeah, don't

throw herself. Yeah, don't throw stones in me. Come on, baby. Come on, so Trees has basically, you rock them up, you rock them, you put your chin on his head, you put your chin on his head. So this is also by the way kind of bullshit because essentially like Marge and Joe went over to have, lunch or something with Marge a few episodes ago. And she was like, okay, did you sleep?

Did you sleep at the idea? Did you sleep at that trap bath? The original trap baths mouth, I should say. And he's like, no, when you know what's not of anyone's business, he goes, oh my God, because if you get back together, like literally, I'll do whatever, like you cannot go back to him. I would drag you out of there.

So she was sort of being hyperbolic. She wasn't actually saying, if you go back to Danielle, I am gonna go and break up your relationship like that. She was being hyperbolic. She wasn't actually saying, if you go back to Danielle, I am gonna go and break up your relationship like that. She was being hyperbolic and then he clearly went and told Danielle, well, he did last week and made it sound like Marge was making threats and basically Marge was an asshole. What did she say? She did say she'll do anything in her power.

I mean, Teresa actually got that one good. She's like, you will not do that which I like it's not a for business. Yeah, but I didn't take it even if It's serious a serious. Yeah, like like Mari basically told Teresa and Danielle last week that like oh Mars That she would do whatever it would take to break us up which sounds way more vicious and Malevolent than be like, oh you know I can't go back to it. I'll do anything my power to make sure you don't go back to it like it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous what you're doing right now. Not in front of Jones Ghosts. No, no. Yeah, I've gone on such a weird thing with Danielle because I watched what happens

I've because I had some free time and I was trying to screw some stuff together, some making crafts in my house. So anyway, I was watching it and I mentioned the last, I'm never gonna stop talking about it now. Best upset ever. But Danielle was on it. Oh my gosh, she is the worst. She's such a terrible human being. I know, I love her.

So then someone was commenting about it on Facebook. So of course, I went down that hole, was reading all the comments and they posted an audio clip of whenever her of one of her boyfriends of her just being crazy. Have you heard it? It's not the racist one. It's not where she goes all crazy in racist because there's also that one. Oh yeah. Danielle's just full of good ones, but this one he comes home and he's like, honey, come on, you got to stop with this. Like obviously she's been calling him or whatever.

And you just hear her like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, someone, fuck your children, baby. He's like, yeah, I can. Fuck your children. How about that? Fuck your children. He's like, would you let me go, move out of the doorway. He's like, no, I will not let you. God, God, you hate me like that. She's a monster.

Epic. Yeah. But the monster that we need, I feel like this show deserves a monster like I feel like I think that Bravo has found a really good role for people like Danielle or Vicki Which is that they're monsters, but like if we we only have to check in on them here and there And we get enough out of them that we can appreciate them for being a monster without feeling like we have to invest in their monster Nest I think it was just enough to keep us going, you know Well, there's no there's no heroes if there's no monsters to slay.

Yes, exactly. I think Danielle is like, she's an awful person and she's hilarious. And I just, I love that she's back on the show. And did she say, and Water Happens Live that she's done with a real source? Yeah, she's like, oh, Danielle has a big announcement to make. She's, all right, well, here's my announcement. I have been involved with all of these franchises. It's the very beginning. I was like, you were not at the bottom of the front. What are you talking about? You were on housewives of New Jersey, then you got fired and you've been trying to claw your way back in for years. Like, let's not get it twistedly. Yeah. And I support that journey. Yes, and she's like my announcement is that after all I've done for the housewives

I am never coming back to real housewives again And everyone's like oh She goes off New Jersey Of New Jersey Yeah, okay, we'll just fly you out to Beverly Hills. Yeah, exactly right on're right on that plane. You fucking dead. Yeah, stop saying crazy things. Just just keep doing what you're doing. You're your disaster, but you're doing just fine. Just be the awful person you are and just, you know, don't. Yeah. And somebody else said, well, now that you're not friends with Teresa anymore, so I guess that already blew up spoiler. Oh, wow. OK. Yeah, I guess you're not friends anymore.

So, you know, but she didn't badmouth Teresa. But the reason I brought up that whole watch, what happens thing is because it led into the audio thing, which leads me back to this. Of course, Marge is trying to protect Marty and say don't ever go back there because shit like this exists. Like that's what he's probably being treated like, you know?

The Marty's that annoying friend who, you know, we talk about it so much on this show, that annoying friend that like, you know, you let them vent to you when things are going badly, and then you're like, yeah, fuck that person, and then they go and get right back with their X, and then all of a sudden you're the asshole. I mean, we see it every single single season and we see it with all People in our lives and Marty's one of them Yep So everybody's you know back at the back at the Stephen Dan

$650 candle ripoff place everybody's screaming and yelling at each other and Marge is squealing now like break him up How can you even break some of that? This is making sense. You can't break some of up and trace like And Marge is like you to spare your ex-husband it's that's it. You lied about it and Daniel you put so Spoon silverware in the knife drawer. Okay. This is what you do. Okay. You do things like that You put flour in the sugar canister. Okay, these are the things that Marty tells me about okay You fucked around on your husband in your own fucking house

And I married my husband and I married him. Okay, I said I said Jan. I'm going to Joe Okay, and guess what Jan still comes over for coffee. It's it's great. It's great You're married you fucking Come on, I don't know and I don't fuck to keep a house. Okay, I don't fuck I fuck to renovate a house, but not to keep a house. Okay I'm intelligible. Yeah And then all that there's like, get out of my fucking face, because Danielle, Danielle does that thing. I love when people do this when they get right close

to someone's face and go, get out of my face. I'm like, well, you're the one who just got in the face. OK, yeah. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. And so Margaret is just like, I've had enough of this and she just takes the bottle of water and just empties it on Daniel's head.

And she's like, oh, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, so this. That's March's superpower if she was like an Avenger or whatever, it's like your enemy always ends up wet. Yeah, you know what you know it Thanos may not want to dead But he'll be wet and that matters that's about Just like a Thanos is like I will destroy Someone just wrote one Someone just threw a one.

There are some other one in Thanos' face. You know what? You know what? I had to do it. Okay, you know he was out of control. The things he was doing, they could destroy the universe. I mean like, I like this universe. I don't want to do this. I saw a red. You know, I just like, he's out of control.

He just is such an awful person. Like, I don't know why Thanos. He wants to do it. Like, okay, let me tell you about the things that Thanos Thanos stuff he's disparaged his ex-wife he sued me over some whale and then on top and now he's gonna destroy the world you know it's like it's like enough I had enough I threw I had to throw glass of wine on him so then I don't know how I'm gonna do anything make that a whole bit about classic March doing red wine and Thanos's face So I don't know who Thanos is okay. I don't watch the Avengers you don't

He's all like this. He's always like I've got one thing on my finger. I know I've got two things on my finger I know I've got three. He's like a big scary count Choccio I know I've got three. He's like a big scary count Chocchio. Yeah, I've just tried to count a lot of jewels on those fingers. The last Avengers movie I saw with you and we saw Age of Ultron. I was like, this is a piece of shit. I'm not watching Marvel movies anymore. And then I watched them all, girl.

But the thing is that there's now that whatever happened with the Avengers now that I guess like someone died. So now I guess since it's over, Disney has been so in LA award season is very serious and people get screeners and there's posters all over the city like full your consideration by Lisa van der Pump. And so they're all these like dramatic black and white posters of like an Avengers helmet on the ground. It's like for your consideration, the Avengers are like for your consideration, get out of here with that. And then you're trying to go for base picture. Get out of here. You never know a lot of here. Avengers for best picture. I'm not having seen it, but get out of here. Yeah, I saw it. I saw it a couple times because I tried to watch it once in a hotel room, went to bed. And then I I watched it again and I was like, oh, yeah, I'm pretty good.

You know what's pretty good. Tom, go see about it. Turn to Tom, go get. Yeah, I turned into Tom. Okay, so is this where she pours all of Marge's stuff in a candle? Yeah, well, it wasn't, I think it was a cup that had water. I don't know, at first I didn't know, when I first I first washed I thought Danielle was pouring her own stuff out of her bag But look at what I've given this relationship and I was like, oh wait, no, that's Margaret's bag

And I think she was putting her phone and water in a mug, but it was the $600 mug. I don't know if it was a candle Was it a mug? Well, there was a $600 candle. I know that and then the but I think it was I don't know It was just I thought she was getting it all waxy and that's what like she was starting it all But like he didn't start I literally had no idea what was I just saw things calling you know the sad thing is I've watched This five times I kept rewind get just to get what they were saying and I was cracking up so hard and now I still have questions Well because so Dan yellow is having this like dramatic moment of like I mean mean, a drink gets into my mug. And then like, you know, think, and then just like knocks them out, go over,

and you're like, that's $650 or maybe it was a candle. And then Margaret's like up to Steve, next to Steve and then I'm like, yeah, I pay for everything. I pay for everything. Just send the built-in Vinyan Vines. Okay, pay for everything. The whale, pay for it. So just, just invoice,

I'll judge you the whale. well. So Danielle is like wonky eye and her lips are as she's like got that evil look where she's like and she just keeps walking around the store. So then she's like I just got help my soul and then she grabs Marge's ponytail and just starts dragging you because Margaret is like going to go up and stuff and she just Marge's ponytail and just starts dragging. Yeah, because Margaret is like, dragging her. Like, dragging her. And she just, she's like, oh, look at that.

Look at that blonde here. It's just, I'm sorry, I'm doing, I'm doing Marge. Oh, look at that blonde here. It's all blonde and damaged. She can't even tie it. She can't even put any more color into it because it's so damn, she can't brush it. So damn, I can't help myself.

So she just grabs it. And then there's like, yeah, Marge is just getting dragged across and then they sort of separate them There's like cameraman and security guards and Margar's like bitch bitch And Danielle goes bitch watch your back So then Everyone's yelling at Danielle like you can't pull her hair Trees like my skulls. Yeah, she grabs Danielle and takes her out of there And then of course Melissa's running after them and Melissa's like Teresa That's fucking unacceptable like you know, she's basically like this is going in the file

This is going in the file that you took Danielle's side. I'm using against you Yep, and everybody's mad and Jen's like I can't believe she just slept with her bucket bed Dolores goes she just said watch your back that's a mold school stripper fighting Watch your back old school stripper fighting I'd be careful Also, we have to give a shout out. You put a ton on our Instagram, but that one employee who is wearing like a leopard skin jacket and like a black bob, and she's like, oh, she comes from around the corner like, I can't believe

these women who are famously trashy are being trashy and this boutique right now and she's got like a kind of a what is her wig it's like a what's that lady's things a dowel so it's like an old school of doubt Del hair cut and a leopard trench coat and she's like literally clutching her pearls like her hands like that she just keeps moving her head up and down like walking back and forth I mean We gave her that complimentary bottle of water And this is what she does with it. Who's classic so outside? Daniel's like Oh, yes, yes, let's make sure I left that fucking Trump mafia behind me Trump mouth. Oh god, and then Danielle's like

Oh God, and then Danielle's like Okay, hey Siri Siri. Oh Great now it work. Yeah, I guess we guess guess who guess who's ready to chat They need to stop they need to make it like Siri No, no Could you please repeat what you said? Siri, FaceTime Marty. No, no. Just to confirm. No, no. What's he saying?

What was he gonna do? I don't know. Actually, I'll tell you what it was. I just said FaceTime Marty. I have all these contacts in here from like, you know. It was, it said Marty Grindr. I was like, I don't know who... I said, I don't know who, I'm'm like I don't know who Marty Grindr is

But I know we're not face time him during the podcast That's for sure Marty Grindr We're so the same I label everything so I know who people are yeah, I call it's like Ben Podcast yeah, I mean like I have all these contacts in here that are just like Marty grinder or Okay, Cupid or whatever That now I want to know who Marty grinder is. I'm like very upset Maybe for a bonus episode

So yeah, she tells Siri you drop out bitch. So Siri does it, which is impressive, because I find when I tell her to do stuff like that, she's like, hmm, I don't do that. Would you like me to do something else? You've lived. Would you like me to look up someone from Grindr from seven years ago?

I can do that for you. Just to remind you that you were too lazy to erase this contact and now it's coming back to bite you on a podcast. Thanks. So Danielle's like, Marty, but through water at me, I told her you stay out of my relationship. I was very calm, Marty. I was standing there so calm in my very expensive

Versace handkerchief turned dress or shirt And then back inside Jennifer's like Yeah, and Margaret's like I mean, could you believe she put my ponytail? I mean like she put her hands on me. I mean like it would have just disgusting fucking bees I mean, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. It was like what happened the day is we could pour a bottle of water on someone's hair and they won't they won't punch you back. I mean what what happened to society? I'm listening like isn't this all just so crazy? I mean Marty and Danielle. I mean first

she's with Marty then she's gonna marry Marty then she's not with Marty then she's dating some other guy named Oliver but then she's gonna buy Marty's house but then she's not with Marty then she's dating some other guy named Oliver But then she's gonna buy Marty's house, but then she's fucking Marty again for the house. I mean, it's just nuts I'm just the history is told by Melissa and I can't believe this is all happening the same week as envy fashion show night. Wow God poor Melissa, you know what that is so much Old stripper school. Old school stripper school stripper fighting. Old school stripper fighting. That's what that is. You were saying that she's just I mean we'll get to it. I guess when we get to her fashion show, but I'm sorry, ma'am. You're much easier to watch now. That's for sure. Like she's just I mean we'll get to it I guess when we get to her fashion show but I'm sorry ma'am you're much easier to watch now that's for sure like she's been way more pleasant on my

television screen but you are no-camedy get this fucking fashion show off my TV I don't want to pay to watch your watered down fashion show like with necessarily how to help bring me Kim T. Yeah yeah not even Talbot she like literally co-door she found like the Caldor clearance sale from like 1991 and like, oh, wow, let's put these back on the run. Yeah, just went to random places on Kerala Street. So she so anyway, so outside Teresa's talking to Marty and the folks like, yeah, Marty, she was saying that you would lagging and stuff. Don't mind. I was saying you were lagging and stuff. My wife was saying you were lying and stuff. And like, because at this point, like, Teresa's voice

has gotten like really high-pitched and shrill, because she's excited, so she has like a her-fall set-o out. And she's like, yeah, my- she said she was gonna stop you guys from getting back to you and stuff, so it was just like a last-suff-moddy and like us. Like Teresa, you're talking to the brick wall right now. Oh. You're talking to the crepe ad on the wall behind you. You're talking to Marty grinder not Marty Yeah, it's not funny. They were standing right in front of giant pictures of crepes Like this kind of crepe but that's kind of crepe and I can't they're the gall serious in front of these crepes

Matty you want to crepe us? That guy's creepy. That was just a creep. Delicious. So, Marty's like, well, she said it. What do you want me to tell you? She did say that she was gonna do whatever she could. And Danielle's like, I just want you to know, Marty.

Theresa had my back a hundred percent today, money. Yeah. So then Teresa goes back into the boutique and she like pretending to care. She goes up to Margaret. She's like, are you okay? The happened also first. You know what? I mean, am I okay? It's like, am I okay? I mean, was was John Rives like not the best community in the world I mean, am I okay? It's like, eh. Am I okay? I mean, was Joan Rivers like not the best comedian in the world? Okay, am I okay? Like, yes, the answer is like, no, I'm not okay.

Okay, it's like, it's crazy to me. I mean, like, it all happened. It's just like, she put my hair. It was totally unacceptable. Okay, like, I- I know. I spent a good five minutes tying that ponytail into my scalp.

Oh, the word, this is Lexus Ben- This isn't all bloody. Imagine that this is Marty Grindr calling from an 1-800 number. 1-800, it's like I heard you. Your phone is listening to you. So, Trees is like, I know, but why don't you throw the water at us? She was in my face, she pushed me prior to that. She broke things in your friend's store and T Laura's like all right three, you know what they're even can we just call it even? No guys, I'm sorry, but I'm old school until yeah Yeah, Jackie tells us

Pulling someone's hair isn't old school. It's psychotic Psychotic school. Yeah. Yeah, didn't we get that? I couldn't help but wonder is all school a place where you learn new things or is it a new place where you learn old things? Food for thought food for thought for the mom with county record So trees is like no money would throw red fucking wine at me and get the fuck away from it That means you can get the fuck away from it Jennifer's like that was that was then this is now you got to wake up and see baby. She put her hands on her I know that but you physically assaulted her you only see it one side my What kind of logic is that Teresa? I was sticking up for my friend none None of us see, but you see Teresa, okay. Yeah, and so then Jennifer's like,

you should also be sticking up for your friend from Margaret. You know what Teresa, could you just like not ever be my friend again? Ever ever ever ever anymore? Like, you know what, to me, you know what you are, you're vineyard vines, and I'm just like an innocent whale right now. Okay, guess what?

I'm like, I'm a beach whale, and you're vineyard vines just turning me into shwits. Okay, I don't want to hear any more. Trace is like, why do you say that, and Marce says, you defending this fucking cigarette. That's what I wrote, Pat. Psychopath. Oh, psychopath. What did she say?

But cigarettes are such a good insult for like, look at this cigarette. Look at this, drive out. She does look like a cigarette. The evaluation system has gotten crazy. My value systems, what? Jow, do we pay the checks for the value system? So I'm married to get all upset and she's like, I can't, I can't, you just, you just fed this one.

It's really, it's a really, really, really, really. So she leaves. She goes outside and follows the cheeko. That's where she's the cheeko's outside. You see Margaret walking by and there's like a cheeko. So I was like, wow, they really are on the rodeo rodeo. rodeo drive of Jersey. Where everybody goes to get a cheeko's and a crepe.

So she falls there. She's saying, I don't like you to be upset mine. And she's like, I'm I'm think that dude. I just freaked out because I was freaked out when you traumatic in the pool Teresa. You're not in any of these fights. Yeah. And where are you bringing up fights from last season

from somebody else? What the hell does Dan Y'all have on Teresa at this point? I also love Margaret's rationalization for why it's different. She goes, oh come on, I mean a grown man pushed into a pool. I mean, you're gonna compare this to a grown man pulling my ponytail when I'm bent over, okay, you know what, like, no. Like, I was bent over and he was like a grown man in a pool and in formal way, okay, it's totally different.

I'm like, oh, they're both pretty bad, actually, technically. Listen, I love you, but you know what you gotta have me back. I listen. It's you don't hurt me Theresa That's it and Theresa like why are you gonna give me that choice? Yeah Theresa Do you like how that tastes? Yeah exactly it's a Theresa I'll just Theresa down that I know and then she spends the entire rest the episode acting like she's never done She doesn't like that. I think, now I'm gonna call from be called from potential spam see everything has gone downhill ever since we tried to face time marty grinder It said it literally says potential spam on it. Oh

Why doesn't it say scam likely did they change it because I really like scam like no mind I feel like it was an old friend spam calling me all the time Well, either way um, so so Margaret gets into this SUV and she calls up joke But you know and she's like and he's like hey sweet horror. How are you horrible? Horrible. I'm not gonna cry Not gonna cry. Oh, yeah, I've got to cry. Maybe I cry. Maybe I cry I don't like see Marge upset. It was weird. I mean, I cried. I do not like seeing Marjup said it was weird. She was really, really upset.

Yeah, I'm not, I'm just not used to it. I was like, ah. Well, you know why you're not used to it, Ronnie? It's because that's old school strip of fun. That's old school strip of fun. Old school strip of fun. So tree is back in the store, you know, talking to the girls and chants like, oh my god, to see her thought I've sat, do you even feel anything, tree and such, I'm calling

that, I don't want to see her rip that, but it's like, it's like when there's a dog with a bone, like a dog with a bone. And it cussed the lower, it literally cussed literally custes a Laura's feeling I've heard that one before Hear that one Jackie you're up That's old school boo fight right there Dog with a bone dog with a bone dog with a bone hey, how come ah? You know, it's funny every time I say dog with a bone my my phone tries to face time someone. Because I rename Siri dog with a bone. Because it reminds me of dark.

Dog with a bone grind. Dog with a bone grind. But it's in dog with a bone right there. Dog with a bone grind there. So she's like, you can't go to someone. Like a dog with a bone and then think it's not gonna come back at you. I was like, oh my god, look at Teresa. Like you see a light go off when she thinks of this.

Like she's just for the first time ever understood what consequences are. I know. And Margaret, me and Wall, is being so dramatic in the car. She's like never in my entire life. Have I ever had my hair pulled? Not once. I know as if you've ever touched my hair.

Like literally my hair's never been touched by anyone in this entire world ever before. I am like so heartbroken and physically ill. I'm like, okay Margaret. The bitch pulled your hair. It was vicious. I am like so hot broken and physically ill. I'm like, okay Margaret. The bitch pulled your hair. It was vicious. You didn't come down with the flu.

So Trees like, listen guys, Margaret did a lot of hers and T'loris tells us, listen, I know what T'oresis think it. And he has what it sounds like. Did it literally did it. think it. And here's what it sounds like. Did it all it did all it did it did it did it it did it. That's also going to be the sound of the doorbell that I installed in David's house. Frank doesn't want me to, but you know what I say? I say Frank, Frank, you don't get to sing this. Okay. I thought about a long run. I walked from the kitchen to the living room back to the kitchen. I was like, well, I'm going to put in a doorbell. And I thought

about to reach his head. I was like, that's perfect. So that's the doorbell. And that's what it is, okay? So you know what, if you would have thrown some water on Teresa, she would have hit him right there. You know what, it's probably so would I. Yes, that's how we roll. You know what? And then we see a clip of Dolores

almost murdering Jeff last year. We're like, you wanna get in my face? But that being said, if you throw some pasta on the floor you I'm gonna clean that up. I'll clean that up I'm gonna clean it up. You know what? We're pouring pasta from a box. You're trying to get it into a board or a pan or whatever Sometimes you're gonna spill some on the cabinets and that's fine You know that's why you need a durable cabinet so I've always you know, and that's but you know Maz Maz never understands that he's like why are you coming in late?

I'm like well, you know Frank spilled pasta on the floor. And I told him to clean it up. He doesn't clean it up. But I got a good, cool, who cleans it up? Me. So I'm like, you know, that's what happens. So Trees is like, what's that fun? And they're like, yeah, thanks Trees. So great name.

So then we get like the beginning of a new episode. Tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh dump, dump, dump. Lots of shots of freeways. Yes, so we see Jackie going through her son's homework and stuff, and then we go back to Jennifer's house, and like, sweet Olivia who's been trying to con us all season long with her, like, Yes, mother, this means quite lovely. She's suddenly like, eyes are feet up on the table. I'm just like, why is your feet up on the table, Olivia? Because I want you mother. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Gorgas house a lot of Joey's play football. Yeah. Yeah. So there's that. So then trees with

And I said I'm wanting to hang out with you. No, no, I'm feeling it's like So so yeah, like Because he was in the hospital Yeah, he had and he was in the hospital yet again with pneumonia or as as they like to call it Nino Nio. Nino Nino. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes. So he's like, so he just came back from, thank God he's okay, but he's all like extra quiet. He's more like whispering, you know, he's like, I feel okay.

Oh, oh, just sort of like sweet, no, no, sweet, sick, no, no. Someone give him a bottle of hot sauce to chug. I yeah, Teresa's like, you know what we make him feel better It's no no mopping here's a my get to it lazy fuck so I know no like you were in the hospital for a long times So I guess you have to catch up on making some chicken cutlets in the morning get to it Kabeesh So Dolores comes over and tree starts telling her the stuff with Joe like yelling at her while she was trying to have a mother daughter She was doing back there Bueller is playing with the pillow

I can't see myself. Let me see what he's doing. Oh my god Bueller this is that's what he does and he wants attention. He scratches something until I yell it. Is he gonna hump the pillow? No, he's just trying to get stomping a pillow right now. Oh my god. Oh my god I'm gonna turn into circle hold on. Yeah, wait He's gonna join in a he come on be alert to it turn into circle Be alert. I'm talking to myself. I'm on my off camera. Oh You don't see him he's still there. Oh no, he's settling there. He goes is laying down. I think it's a no-no thing. He just gets uncomfortable every time. He's so cute. Okay, sorry everybody edit that out.

Editor, edit that out. Okay. By the way, can anybody tell the editor is Bueller? He keeps looking up every time. Okay. the editor is Bueller, he keeps looking up every time. Yeah, I can know. Okay. So yeah, so Jaya and Teresa were at the Dale mother daughter place and that whole fight she had with Joe, where he's like, what all you fucking do all day? So you fucking nails done, you have done.

Yeah, you know, when she saved some money if it wasn't got them, why don't you don't hug her? That's it, my wife's a seaword, all right? There, I never said that, I'm not cheating on you. I'm fucking somebody right now. Yeah, so what? So Teresa telling Dolores how like she's like paid She's the one who's had to pay all the bills and she's the one doing with everything and like and that Joe had the balls to make her Sign up read up when they got married and we get a flashback of Joe being like like I even wanted to get now

Retail stupid seaweed. You know what I'm saying hey, yeah, I'm a nice Yeah, this is the love for the ages. Love story for the ages. Yeah And to Laura's is like, uh, you know what? Teresa did that prenup say he can't get anything from you? I'd read that really clear to rethink because the way he spoke to you God's the bit if things don't work out I think he might be worried that you might know him. Yeah, it's called being married to somebody for like years and years

and having multiple children. Okay. I don't know what states everybody lives in, but to me, that's called half of your shit. Well, I'm not gonna wait in on that because I don't know. I don't know anything. And there are a lot of bastards out there.

So Teresa's like, I'm not saying he deserves it. I'm saying they think, yeah, so of course he's gonna try and get it. Yeah. That's what the force is. So Teresa's like, I think that any guy who takes money from a woman, that's so low. I'm like, you realize your husband's been

in jailing and getting deported from the country because he just tried to defraud people and you think he's not gonna take money from you? He did defraud people. That's low Yeah, taking money from a woman. He did take money from women. He did do that. He literally did that She goes, oh, you know, can you believe his oracity? I just love that word. I don't know that word comes up. I the Lord's like oh Teresa. He'll take it. He'll take it That's what you call old school stripper

divorce He'll take it. He'll take it. That's what you call old school stripper divorce. That's what you call old school John fighting right there. So then Mel is at home. Melissa is at home with her envy laptop. We all we both had to take a pause. I had to like read just my crotch and we went to burp at just the mirror talk. Just mention it this. Like, okay, let's get rid of those bat wings. Oh. So anyway, Melissa's at home, and she's getting the NV fashion show finished. Whoa, and guess what, this year she's expanded the boutique to include men's stuff.

So that way both genders can ignore her store. So yeah, now she can sell nothing to both genders. Yeah, to two genders, I think two genders we should say. Um, she's like, yeah, even little Frankie Katani is going to model. I was like, little Frankie Katani. I guess compared to big, I guess the Frank senior he is little, but yeah, and Joe, Joe Gorgas like huh like Ain't No One Gonna Ask Me to Model what the hell like the hottest guy in this house yeah so they start talking about Margaret and Danielle and the whole fight and everything and then it cuts over to Margaret and Joe Margaret's in bed she is now like I'm surprised she did not have like a full-on neck brace on and

she but Joe is giving her like a Compress to put around her neck and everything and she has actually gotten whiplash from Danielle Yes, and she's like listen, you know what? I know that this is gonna sound like a crack house-wise bullshit cuz I'm sitting in bed acting like a victim I'm not wearing any makeup. Yeah, that just goes there. Yeah Do you want a foot rub? Yeah, you know, wouldn't hurt. You wouldn't hurt right now.

Wouldn't hurt. I've never seen, I guess we've seen March without makeup one time. I think, right? I don't know. Completely barefaced. I'll tell you how, guess how many times you've seen, you've seen someone to put my hair. Zero times.

Zero times the history of the world. Yeah. So then back to Dolores entry. Dolores is like, so how are you gonna move forward with Margaret? Right you took Dan yellow side, you know, I don't want Margaret to be mad at you like that's no fun Trust me and treat me like my grades a big girl. She got sick up by herself and Margaret telling me I need to take Size I would never tell Margaret who to be French where I like literally like can we just watch the past five seasons? I mean since when is Teresa not told people to take sides like let's look at anything

would do with Jackie let's look at anything to do with. Yeah, I'm serious. Jackie Lynn wasn't she telling wasn't she literally telling Margaret she had to take sides against Jackie last year or is that in my head? Yeah, what about Melissa? Well, she would probably say, well, but Melissa's family So she should have my back no matter what's in stuff, but Teresa is the queen of You have to take my side like how could you be hanging out with her because she's a friend if they have someone so she's Jackie whatever

You know like it's out of control like she's yeah, I feel like Margaret making me choose shame on her. I'm like Teresa This has been your story line since from season one for crying out loud I feel like Margaret making me choose Shayne on her. I'm like Teresa. This has been your story line since from season one for crying out loud. She's like, imagine there's so much through water on you. On me. She starts cracking up. So then Gorgah, the Gorgas are talking about it.

And I don't know, they're talking about it. I hope that Teresa doesn't create a scene at the fashion show, but Teresa has a history of creating scenes at fashion shows and just like his ship like, I'm from Patterson, did you forget that bitch? Whatever, all the famous. Hosh fashion shows which are much better much better than MV fashion shows, by the way.

Yes, Melissa, the only reason you have a fashion show is because Teresa, so give credit what you're going to do. So then we go over to Jackie's house, where she's calling the kids in for a make your own yogurt parfait experience, which is like, I don't know, it's not really how it, it's just like not like video games. I would prefer video games.

So video games. A ball maybe, if we're going to go that far, possibly a ball. A ball. Throw a ball. And she's like, you guys want a snack? We got yogurt and granoli. I was like, granoli. Yeah, so she's going to teach them how to eat healthy because she had an eating disorder and her dad really upset her bringing it up in front of the kids. And so she's going to, she's going to make sure that her kids know how to eat healthy. So she's like,

all right kids, I got a test for you. What's healthier? Nine bagels or one apple? What's healthier? Bagels! Yeah, she does this whole quiz because she wants, she's like, you know what, like having a good body or whatever or like being thin does not define who you are. But like, you know, you can have unhealthy things, but not all the time. You just better eat healthy stuff, like what's my healthy? Two eggs or two bagels? The eight in the house. No. What's healthier? Glass of water or nuclear waste with whipped cream? I'll tell kids nuclear waste No So then we got a Teresa at Fortino. Yeah, I had not heard the name Fortino. I'm long time

That's a last one because like fortune off Fortino, I know that was even a thing you know And it's the guy that you think works. It's like the guy that you remember working in the fortune off Yeah, can I help you with anything? We got a complete patio photo. Did you welcome the fortune off? Welcome to fortune off you hear my motorcycle neighbor by the way Yes, that classy motherfucker every day out there with every fucking day like got an idle outside oh there

you go bye so she goes into a patio furniture store and she thinks I'm looking for something for the patio and he's like you came to the right place would you also like some cured meats that I made last night in my refrigerator no thanks and. No thanks. And it's a stupid tree. So I don't know if she's just trying to fill time or what, but who asked this? You got everything in stock? What's that mean? I know.

What are you asking that? So you got four walls in this building? Yeah. Yeah. So Joe comes over to help her choose. And he's like, you know, it's so difficult for three, because she don't got a man now. So I'm going to help her choose and he's like, you know, it's so difficult for three because she don't got a, she don't got a man now. So I'm going to help it anyway.

I can. I was like, wow, brother of the year is showing up at a patio for an intersting. Yeah. Take care of all those, those masculine activities, like picking out a good outdoor chair. So, uh, so this is our talking about the, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, so, uh, so, uh, so, and he goes, okay, okay. But I hear her, her hair got yanked, her hair had. And she goes, yeah, but she got pissed off. I think you can't judge people because like, I went to jail and I don't like when people judge me. Yeah, I don't like when people judge me and stuff

because when I went to jail, I had to talk to a judge and the judge was real mean. So like, why do we like to judge and stuff? He's like, are you in La La Land? You go, we're not judging her. It happened, right? Yeah, I think it goes, are you waiting? Are you gonna wait until she does something to you to realize

what sort of woman she is? You guys, yeah. Yeah. So she's saying, I can be a grown woman. I could be friends with whoever I want. So everyone needs to follow. Yeah, watch this clip be used against her over and over and over again for the next three seasons.

Yeah. So she's like, maybe I should throw red wine at us and say, you give me an ultimate on five beds. And he's like, capy. So that was time for the big envy fashion show, being held at something that looks like the brownstone, but it's not the brownstone.

And so people are all getting, all the models are getting ready. There's a girl like an lemon shirt. So, you know, oh that was terrible. Yeah, that lemon dress, like really skin-tight lemon dress. I know and all the male models are just like so Jersey but also like incredibly hot.

It was very frustrating. And then there's like a DJ in the corner named DJ Jason Janney who clearly peaked in like 1999 playing like LFO albums. You know like I like girls who wear a Bacrompian bitch. Rebex! And then let's see, Frankie just ruins every, all of his hard work. You know, Frankie works very hard to look at that muscular, you know, credit where credit is due. But why do you have to ruin it with that terrible backpack, Frankie? It's terrible. And then he like stands

there, holding it like posing with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna wear a dark shirt that's also ribbed. Yeah. So then, so Melissa's just like, I don't know, there's just like a lot of like, uninteresting talk of like, oh okay now that, yeah Melissa's like, models come down the runway now they walk up the runway and I was just like, I'm just so excited like that like my daughter can watch me work and see that like, she could think like, wow my mom's like a boss and then I'm just so excited like that like my daughter can watch me work and see that like she could think like wow My mom's like a boss and then I could just customize it's working on the runway and like And Tony I just being so mortified like oh no, please put this away mother

Yeah, so let's go to G and Teresa. They're getting their hair and makeup done for their big night and Joe calls you've got a free call from. Ciao. Ciao. Wait, before Joe even called though, Melania was in there and she was talking to Teresa and she goes, BRB and she goes away and Teresa goes, B, right? Back. Got it.

She literally said, Bees of shit, co-core everyday back. Got it. Got it. She literally said these of shit called for every day back got it. Got it. I just like that. Like the cameras caught the moment when Theresa figured out what BRB stood for. Oh,

sorry. Yeah. So she's Joe calls and Joe. So she's like, hey, dad, we're getting have a makeup done. He's like, yeah, I couldn't sleep last night and Which you know I above this mask. I have one minute. Yeah He what the guy in the bunk above me was massing all night long

And I try to put the window to sort of get to me out from all though, you know, you know what nice You know I'm in the shoe Yeah, well the guy has like one minute to talk right and said Teresa's of course jumps on it He's like can't sleep. He's having nightmares god knows what's going on with this guy, right? Teresa's like It was me He's like what was I mean to you? I don't think I was mean. Yeah fuck Teresa Yeah, sometimes I don't think he knows how much he's upsetting me because like maybe he's distracted because he's nice

I might never be back in this country, but he distracteds me and stuff Yeah, and he's like you need to stop bringing things up for 23 years ago dumb dumb and she just Master okay, I'll work on that. Yes, honey. And shut up Hey Joe. Hey Joe B are Shut up. Hey Joe, hey Joe. B R B. You see that? You see what I did there? You like to do the R.

So she's like, I'm right, I'm working. No. They're like, you have 20 seconds left. She's like, I'm playing. Click. So I'm like, I'm just why that guy can't play. He didn't even use up his full, like, last minute, he's like, I'm gonna why that guy can't even use up his full like last minute. He's like I'm gonna go

Yeah, so so now we're at the fashion show It's like nighttime at the fashion show and Antonia like enter There's this area where a lot of people are sort of standing in guess our backstage and Antonia comes out and she's in a dress She looks very pretty and Melissa goes oh my god. Look at your body. You get it from your mother I was like I love this episode that has Jackie teaching her children, like how you look is not what defines you. And then you have Melissa me like, check out my daughter's body. It's for me, it's my body.

And so she's like, oh, now are you ready for a baby? Because I'm totally having a baby. Remember that storyline? Really trying to have a baby. Totally serious about it. Yeah, I'm going to have a baby just as soon as I find that woman who I think may have been having a fair with my father from 30 years ago.

Yeah. I know. I love how they just kind of dropped that whole sister. Who one of the worst? Oh, yeah, that's right. It's a sister That's what it was. It was a love to try to find your sister because the psychic told her that her father cheated on our mother with some lady and there is possible We're truly one of the worst like seasonal arcs that we've ever seen on Bravo I'm Melissa doesn't even try like I can see the value of treason I'm Bravo. And Melissa doesn't even try.

Like, I can see the value of Teresa, Melissa being on this show, but like do something. Like, this is a second year you've had a tamarind storyline. Yeah. Exactly. So she's like, my ovaries are aching. This might be my last chance to have a baby. I just worry that I can't handle a new point and a successful business and three kids. I'm like, well, good luck. I mean,

congratulations. You've only got three kids. Well, I was gonna say, well, well, I mean, the good news is you don't have the successful business. So there's room for you, baby. Yeah, exactly. You've only got one out of three of those options. Yeah. A new boy, successful business and three boys. I mean, you know, two out of three and bad. Oh so then Jennifer and what are you gonna wear tonight to the scandalous show? So I should I wear the black ones or the red ones? I have them both in the same style because when I lack something I just buy 10 pads of them in different colors. Ooh hard life you have have their Mrs. Aidan

Oh, I like that skirt It's a devilish at the show So over at Frank at Dolores's house Frank is like what's this fucking modeling show had Dolores? Dolores, we have to go to show like why can't David go to show like Dolores? You tell me I have to go to show saying thank you always come with me wherever I go I mean we're doing it for past 25 years I mean if it ain't broke don't fix it right like we don't want to show up there like a two strippers find an old school Am I right huh? So you're gonna come along all right the Lord fine

Look what Frank even gonna be wearing through this for sure fucking ball hugger and she goes he won't fit no ball hugger Frank who we kidding? and he can pull Hugga and she goes, he won't fit in a pull Hugga Frank, who are we kidding? Yeah. Ew. Oh. Nothing like your mom talking about how big your dick is. I know, I know. Stop making me wonder what's in his underwear.

Stop making me mad that my mom's never said that. Oh. Stop making me mad that I never was able to have a body like Frankie. Sad that my mom's just like, uh-oh, well, you know, he's modeling in that dillard thing today. I hope his food buzz all right. So, um, so yeah, so then over at Jackie's house, her kids are fighting downstairs and FaceTime and Jackie upstairs. She's like, this is hilarious.

I can't believe they're doing this. It's just nice to be thought of every once in a while. So then Margaret's choosing out her outfit for the fashion show, she bella, bella, don't pee on it. You know, I thought I'd wanna wear a bella. Don't pee on it, okay? I think Bella was trying to improve the outfit, to be honest. Yeah.

So then Teresa starts doing this thing, What's your thing? All right, dear. Let's say you had this friend and then that friend put red wine on you. And then she's like, wow, Margaret and Danielle. Okay, let's raise again. Let's say you have a sister in law whose name rhymes with gag oil sort of, I guess maybe just the first part of it does. Antelossa, I'm shoot. So she is like, well, if I was Danielle, I would do the same thing because I have a short temper. I was like, oh God, you guys are doing a great job

over there Teresa. Since what does she have a short temper? This is GA getting mad. Yeah. Well, God, your daughter is saying she would do Since what does she have a short temper? This is GA getting mad. Yeah. Well, God, your daughter is saying she would do what Dan Yel would do. You're failing. You're a true failing.

Yeah, that's not bad. Look. No. So, um, Teresa's like, yeah, but if you poke at that bear with a bone in his mouth, the bear is going to eat a dog. That's it. That's I said it. That's going to talk. Yeah, eat a dog. That's it, that's it. I said it. That's gonna eat a dog. Yeah, with a dog in it. Yeah, with a dog in it.

So now it's the bum. Now it's fashion show. The fashion show is 7.30 PM. I don't know why we needed to know it was 7.30 PM, but we were told 7.30 PM. And people are showing up and Jen and Bill are there first. And she's like, I'm getting sort of used to the taste to kill up Bill.

He's like, ooh, naughty girl. And then to Laura's and Frank Com and Hagaum and talk about David. Hello, Doctor. David's not coming. She's like, no, David's going to sniper school. And Bill's like, is that a new thing? Ooh, it's just a bunch of man shooting blanks.

Mm. I like a straight shooter if you know what I'm saying. I love that sniper school is a new thing. Like, snipers before we're just winging it. Yeah, why is David going to sniper school? Why, just why? Why is that a thing? Is he gonna mad, guys?

I don't know this. That's terrorism. God. Like international assassin, David. Hahaha. I deliver high risk pregnancies by day, put motorcycles and living rooms by afternoon. And I take out high-ranking government officials

on some nights, and other nights I have to do what the Lord says me to do. So Marge comes in and bright pink and a pink fur. I'm very Marge out there. It was super Marge. And her hair is up like, like she just was on a motorcycle. She's like, okay, I'm making a splash at the envy passion show

Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna look like the pink path that when Teresa comes up to apologize to me Didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't And so that's it. Yeah, so it's lorris is like, oh, Frank, I have such a crush on Joe. Look at him. Look at Joe And she's like, yeah, and Joe loves Dolores. They always like heavy chit- you shut this hands in shut this crevices It's the plumber in him. You just want to make sure your pipes are clean. Oh, who naughty So marght is like, I wait listen, you know, everybody doesn't happen. I went to the doctor today and I'll show you that. I cut with plash.

With plash. I think it, I think it lasted, look fine, I think it lasted, it lasted, it lasted, fine March. No, no, you stupid, with plash, not I lash. And Frank goes, never turn your back on a stripper, right, Marge? Did you hear that? I did hear that. I didn't really know what that meant because they find old

stripper. Well, I mean, I knew what a man. I knew that man. He was saying about old school. I think he was just piggybacking onto loris. It's that's an old school. School. School.

A school strip of old school strip of dog with a bone. I never turned your back on a stripper. This show. So then Jackie joins and they're talking about Teresa. school strip of dog with a bone. I'll never turn your back on a stripper this show. So then Jackie joins and they're talking about Teresa. Mark was like, I was just so embarrassed by Teresa's reaction. I mean like I stood with her. I stood with Kim D. I stood by his side.

You know what? And this is what happens. Like there are no words to describe how I'm feeling right now. To stand by someone like that who condones violence. And she's like getting so mad that like her lower lip is like curling up onto itself, like a rug. Like, you know, like when you're changing scenes on a play and like the stage hands have to come out and roll up the rug really quickly, like that's what it'll look like. So she's like, I'm never been more upset with someone who could condone violence like

that. They're not words. Where's their reciprocation? So she's like, I'm not going to talk to her. She can talk to me if she wants to talk to me. She wants to talk to me. She can come to me. I'm not going to talk to her.

All of you be my witnesses. And so Gia comes in with Teresa. And then she's like, oh Gia, you look beautiful. Come here, come here, come here, come here, kiss us. And then Teresa just stands there. And so it gets really awkward. And then Teresa just stands there. And so it gets really awkward. And everybody's just standing there, but Teresa doesn't say anything, because of course.

Yes. And so then Jenna first starts talking to Teresa. And she's like, you know that Margaret expects you to talk to her, you know? And Teresa's like, I am do not. And you know, it wasn't my fault that you had, Bandal. The idea was walk up to the girls and start yelling and creating a scene.

That's a war. Yeah, the Laura says, well, she's very upset. She feels like you're picking sides. She's like, I'm not picking sides. When I'm out the pick sides. And she's like, you know what, if I were you, I'd go up through up, but guess what? I'm gonna go backstage.

Because she sees that Teresa's like fear. Teresa's like coming in ready to fight. Yeah, and then Teresa has this warped lodge. She says, you know what? This is my sister-in-law's event. If she wants to talk, she can come up to me. I was like, wait, is that like the rule with sister-in-law events? Yes.

That you don't have to apologize to people. Yeah, like you did something. She's like, yes, my sister-in-law is a van. How could she talk to me like this? And my sister-in-law is a van. How could she talk to me like this in my sister-in-law's van? Yeah, it's a sacred place. So the backstage Dolores shows up backstage with Melissa. Then Frankie comes down to the stairs and like,

oh, little Frankie with the big cock. You know what I'm saying? Mom. Martin, Jack, you're talking. And Martin's like, she's looking in the mirror and she's like, I feel like I have no lipstick. And Jackie's like, well, I don't know if you should be holding your breath for apologies,

to tell you that. She's like, I'm on your side with a stand y'all thing but I don't feel like it needs to be the end of the tree relationship, okay? You know, so be friends with tree. She's like, well, she better come up to me because she either comes up to me. It needs to be the end of the tree relationship, okay? Yes, I'll be friends with tree. Well, she better come up to me because she either comes up to me, and she loses a good friend.

Yeah, I agree, I agree. And meanwhile Jennifer is talking, it's telling to us like, you know what, girlfriend, you need to have a conversation with Margaret, okay? Because you know what, she said, she said you were an embarrassment, an embarrassment to Paramus and to Sunsets

and everyone in the civilization for the way that you sided with Danielle. Which is not what she said. No. By the way, of course, Jen. Yeah. And Theresa is like, I'm in a barris made, she's in a barris made,

because she came to my friend's store and pulled water on them, yeah. If Theresa can stand by someone like that, then she's just not who I thought I was. Like, I wish Jan were here just so I could say, Jan, she's not who I thought she was. And Teresa's like, uh, do you put your hands on someone now? But... And check us then. Do you know know what maybe you should just say that just say Maybe she shouldn't have put a hands on you and she goes how fucking dare you how fucking dare you tell me I need to go up That huh she poor water on Danielle's head

She starts doing that high pitch. Yeah, she goes into her false. And then Jennifer's like, I don't think that what is that big of a deal? Oh, is this your water? Is this your water? Yeah, what are you gonna do? Clearly nothing, right?

Because I'm not walking into a trap. Yeah, okay. And then Trees just like pours the water on Jennifer's feet. And she's like, oh my God, you bitch, you bitch. And all the people behind are like snapping photos and like, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Lexi you know that that should hit Lexi like just like well it feels good to be out of the house again, governor Oh, gosh I was like um you fucking moron By your logic then it would be okay if Jennifer grabbed you by the hair and drag to across the floor

Yeah, exactly and Jennifer's like what the hair and drag you across the floor. Yeah, exactly. And Jennifer was like, what's the point? She's proving, I didn't even, she put what I mean. You don't see me pulling her across the room, which is true to be fair, to be fair. It wasn't like that water's toss was the culmination of like mounting tensions for just not only that afternoon, but for like months. But yeah, Teresa isn't in yet. Teresa, God. So now Teresa's furious, because Jen is told her,

she's an embarrassment. So she's thinking, I'm an embarrassment. She needs to watch a fucking talk. What she, what she, what she want me to do, I didn't do it. Oh, what does she want me to do? I didn't do it. You see, I was like, is that a mis-type? No, it's just a chorisa.

Yeah. So now the fashion show starts. We do see Lexi taking a seat and the DJ, DJ, whatever his name was, is like, Oh, you guys ready? Oh, whoa! Okay, who members this one? Connified, but a few lower-rot. Think about making my move tonight. I can't explain that we're only just like, okay, sir.

It's fine. Let's just start the show. And these fashions are so just like off the rack, they're just bad, like you're not even trying. Like you're not even trying. I mean, nothing says like Penny Saver circular, like this fashion show, I mean, this is, Yes. I mean, we like last week on Project Frontway, we had show. I mean, this is... Yes. I mean, last week on Project Frontway,

we had upcycled fashion. This is like downcycled and like, through, you know, the gutter fashion. Yeah. So, Melissa's like, I've come such a long way since my first fashion show. Back then, I thought there was no way I could be a good mom and a good business woman. I was like, oh. And no way I could be a good mom and a good business

woman. And now you can't be a good mom. So Frankie, by the way, Frankie comes out his first look, he looks like a hitman. Okay, first and foremost, I'm like I'm pretty sure he is out there and he's going to kill someone in the audience. And then like later on he is like, and he's in kill someone in the audience. And then later on, he is in this weird bathing suit thing, a matching bathing suit ensemble. It's like a white suit with a big blue grid on it that it girls also wearing.

And she is like, he's so hot, he's so hot. Which I can't disagree with that, but still the bathing suit was so ridiculous. Yeah, all these clothes are just wow. So then Melissa gives a speech and she's like, it's so empowering to have my own business. Thank you, Jesus. I was like, bring back him day, bring back him day. Yeah, and Joe's proud of it.

He's like, I may be late to the party, but now women have yelled at me on Twitter. And I support my wife. Yeah. So now they're backstage and Margaret and Teresa still have not talked and Jennifer tells Melissa, you're sister and law through water at me, which is too bad because the only time I ever get wet is the bill. We have so much sex. So Tim's like, she didn't approve of a point that I didn't pull her hair. And my margin is in the other room. It's like, we're leaving. We're leaving.

I thought Theresa would have come to her senses, but I can't be in the same room with her batten of red lashes. Like, she did nothing wrong. I'm gone. Do you know how hot it is for her to bat her eyelashes while I have a blash? I mean, really? Okay, that was a few, John. That was a blash joke.

Get it, get it, everyone, John. John, mom. Where are you, man? So, Theresa and Melissa are. Get it. Get it. John. Mom. Where are you? So Teresa and Melissa are talking alone at the very end. And Teresa is like, what did you? Oh, Melissa.

She's like, did you pour water on Jen? And she's like, yeah, because you know why I'm pissed off? Cause you're fucking fucking friend, mom. And I'm an embarrassment and man, but hanging out with my friend Daniel. You know, you can tell your friend to kiss my fucking asshole, right? She's in the barracks, man. Be a nice person, Teresa. I'm always nice until you're facts with me and then, you know, you poke the bear in the bear's

The bear's got it's got a paw and we'll go like give it's Bounce best towards the wall. It's a bounce bass to us. Fuck it. And that brings us to the end of real-house vlogs of UndoJaws. New Jersey, who would have thought New Jersey would be like one of our all-time favorite things to recap? And thinking back a few years ago, wow, life just goes to show Margaret saying that she'll never be friends with Teresa Ordaniel again.

Just when I said I'll never enjoy New Jersey again. Look, things can change guys. You know, it's a very positive thing. Ben, we're on video, so we've mentioned Ben. Look behind me at the Shannon Bedore picture, do you see it? Yes. Look how the sun is setting right on the Shannon Bedore's face. Hey, guys. What is it?

Go down on my concussion. Hehehehehe. It's gorgeous. Everyone, thank so much for being here. We will talk to you next time. Yeah, we'll be back tomorrow with some real house us a Dallas reunion. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens ad free on Amazon Music.

Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.