Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Don't Put All Your Easter Eggs In One Basket

Episode Date: December 20, 2019

It's Easter Sunday on "Real Housewives of New Jersey," which means it's time for food, family, and tears. Just another weekend in the Giudice household. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay! Kristy Wawardy-Dawardy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just saying okay?

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Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. He makes us squeezy, Ritchie D. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson.

Higher than Iris, it's Lauren Perez. Ova Nikola Weber. Lisa Walland, it's Lauren Perez. Avonigila Weber. Lisa Walland. Now that's what I call wallentainment. The Bay Area Betges, Betges. And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Let's take off with Tamala Plane. Give them hell, Miss Noel.

Always ready for Nicole Pass already. One day your Rachel's in. And the next day, you're out. Lordus, the Lordus of the Rings. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. Let's go on a bender with Lord and Fender. Yes we can, with howly, caroling and an an.

Yes we should, with Carrie Bridgewood. You're the windum beneath our wings. Joe Windum. Nancy C. Centicisto. Holy Grant, the Grant Master. Somebody get us ten C.C CCs of Betsy MD! Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony!

Incredible edible Matthewsisters! And... Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi! Watch what crap means! Watch what crap means! Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens I've been through cravings, I've been through cravings, I've been through cravings I've been through cravings, who cares what happens when there's so much that happens

I've been through cravings, who cares housewairs of Kitchen Island, new episode coming very, very soon. Maybe, maybe, maybe before the holidays, who knows? And joining me is the wonderful and charismatic and hilarious and joyful and hugable. And sweet and cheerful. Ronnie Caram of the Rose Prick's Batcha Rose podcast. What's going on? Are we in a fight? No. That was that was my way of apologizing for making you wait while I went and got my coffee. Oh no baby. Get your coffee baby. Hi everybody. Happy and no fights. Um, believe me, if we're in a fight, I'm way more passive aggressive. I know. It's like when your husband brings you roses for no reason.

You're like, you fucking cheater. Who is she? No, but like that. I'm not obvious like that. I'm not obvious. We actually never really fight. It's kind of amazing. I think the most is I think I snapped at you last week

because a newbie was taking too long, and I was like, well, why don't you call it? And then I felt bad. And I was like, yeah, his mom does it all the time. He'll use you to it. That's the role I'm taking. I guess in that moment. Yeah, that's how you got it. That's how you got to be with me because I did not call it. It's not like we never take ubers. Why wouldn't I call it? And you know why? So sick of fucking dealing with that. I just wanted to fresh slate with

a new Uber. I literally snapped you. I, we haven't addressed this, but I did snap you. I was like, well, why don't you call call it? You're like, obviously, it was fine. Oh, fine. You give me enough sugar. You deserve a few snaps every once in a while. I didn't think twice about it. But our issues are worked out now. So thanks, guys. We just worked out that Uber issue that clearly was on my mind. I didn't even realize all this episode started. We've been watching so much housewives that were just like, oh my god, let's talk about our issues. That reunion, oh my god, of Orange County, which is coming later. Yeah, we'll have that up later today. We'll also have a bonus episode up later today.

We recapped, we did a preview of the top chef, All Stars cast, and we actually broke it into two episodes. And the first episode is going to be up probably later today. Next one will be next week. I have to say, we went in on Brian Malarkey for about 20 minutes. Yeah. That's pretty amazing. It was amazing. That was like one of my favorite things we did all year long was spend 20 minutes just

making fun of Brian Malarkey and his bio. Yeah, I mean, I left there feeling like, wow, you know, we're really doing something with our lives. Yeah, what a life. So you guys, we obviously 2019 is coming to a close. A new decade begins shortly and with a new decade becomes a new Ben and Rani experience. We are taking our show on the road for 2020. We the first six months we have a bunch of shows we're gonna do. There's probably about two or three more that will be added into the mix but we'll have more information about

that in the new year. For right now this is what we've got going on. Starting in January we've got the Golden Crappies which is sold out. Thank you everyone who bought tickets to that. And then from there we're in Lawrence Kansas really Omaha Salt Lake City Vancouver Orlando Charleston Oklahoma City asbury park Washington DC San Francisco and Boston those last three shows there DC San Francisco Boston are in huge theaters so come buy a ticket so we feel really cool when we sell them out. Assuming you do. Anything else merchandise, merch, crap, it's my carous. Who has been to leading emails? Oh, good.

Anything good. Lots of Johnson made. You know, I love a Johnson made experience. What's a Johnson? It's like way, it's like, it's owned by wayfarer. It's a shopping app online. You buy home stuff. It's like wayfarer, but it's like it's like it's like it's owned by Wayfair. It's a shopping app online. You buy home stuff. It's like Wayfair, but it's like fancier. I mean, it is Wayfair, but it's like a fancier font. I have a bench from Wayfair.

You know, so do I actually fun. Look at it. So this episode of Real Housewives of Futuracy is called the last supper. I like that you started a new sentence on my colon. That's fine. I'm sorry. I was putting down. It wasn't ignoring you as much as it was putting down. Johnson. Johnson main.

I'm delicious episode. It's fine. I will give the day core tip about my bench on a future episode. Oh, is that a tip? Okay, no, I was gonna give a tip. I was gonna give a day core. I think you thought that my bench what I think you thought I was Concluding my tip. I was actually about to start my day core tip Okay, go ahead. I think really helpful. This is gonna be helpful because the holidays are around the corner so if you wind up getting yourself a cool new TV and You they're gonna be cables everywhere, right? because the holidays are around the corner. So if you wind up getting yourself a cool new TV and you, there are gonna be cables everywhere, right? And for me, I had no place to put the cables

and make it look like hide them or whatever, like the way that I had set up my decor with my shelves. There just was no place for all these, like, you know, there was like 10 different HMI cables that feels like there's something for the satellite, than the Apple TV and then the video game. It's everything everywhere. So what I did was I put under my TV, I put three of those like, like cube baskets that you can just get from Target, you know, you know, we just little baskets.

And what I did was I put all of my, of my cable stuff in there because let me clarify that the TV that I have, what happens is it has no inputs, it has one little input, and then you attach that input, this HDMI thing that can take in like five things. So I hit that in the basket. So the cable goes down into the basket, it goes in through the basket handle, and so then everything is in there. And then all the cables that need to go into the TV, the video, the video game, the switch, the, you know, the DVR, whatever else needs to go. You thread them through the same basket handle and plug them in all in there into that. So you now are like all the, all the cabling is hidden by a basket. And then

you have the three baskets, you use the other two for whatever storage you want. And then I've got a bench and put the bench over the basket so it looks like a cute little seating area or whatever, but really what it's doing is it's masking the fact that if you looked over you'd see all those cables in the basket. So when you walk in it just looks like three cute baskets under a bench, but really it's a cable storage solution. So when you walk in it just looks like three cute baskets under a bench, but really, there you go. It's a cable storage solution. So you said, yeah, if you get, if you get a new TV or something for Christmas, think about that. There you go, everybody. And it looks very cute. I've seen it. Thank you. I know it has nothing

to do with Bravo, but this is just where my mind is today. And hey, it works for me. Everyone got a great tip, okay? Yeah, great tip. So now this real housewives of New Jersey episode is called the Last Sapa, which, you know, for anyone who knows LB Blay is the Christian part, is where Jesus has a supper because his ass gets betrayed by Judas. So I was really excited to see who got betrayed,

but apparently it was like the last supper. I don't even know what it means. How was it the last supper? It wasn't like the last Easter before Joe gets shipped off to Italy. I mean, who cares? He's in ice. It's not like he's at supper.

He's not there anyway. It's not Jesus also, by the way. Yeah, Jesus didn't just come into the last supper on FaceTime or through the prison, you know, fucking pay phone. He was like actually at the supper. He's in the paintings. Don't try and use some Bible bullshit for your real Housewives of New Jersey and use the greatest martyr of all time for Joe, Joe Dice. Real Housewives of New Jersey. I will not with that. And by the way, Joe, Joe Dice has had plenty of suppers in Italy. I will not with that. And, and by the way, Joju Dice has had plenty of

suppers in Italy. I would like to add. Also, we are kind of burying the lead, which is that two days ago, it was officially announced that Jo and Tree are separating. I mean, I mean, kind of obvious. Just being like this already happens. Yeah. He's been to pick. He could never come home. So sort of obvious, but yeah, it's already happened. Yeah. He's been to P.E.

He could never come home. So sort of obvious. But yeah, it's official now. They've separated, but not divorced or filed for divorce, but they are separated. And now all she has to do is write her book about how hard it is to be a single mother, which and then she'll do the entire Carolina Manto prediction.

That's why I'm not surprised. Carolina's already told us all this stuff, guys. Listen to Manzo. But also like Caroline Manzo is getting a lot of credit for just like very common sense. Right. Like Caroline Manzo is getting credit. I mean, that's like saying, let me tell you something about what's going to happen when it rains. The roads you can get slippery.

Some people will slow down too much. Some will drive too fast. Some will spin off the road. They'll be dense. They'll get wet. And then the sun will come out later. It's like, okay, well, you don't slippery. Some people will slow down too much. Some will drive too fast. Some will spin off the road. They'll be dense. They'll get wet. And then the subtle come out later. It's like, okay, well, you don't get an award for predicting that. Yeah. I know exactly.

Like, you know what, you turn on that faucet. You're going to get some hot water. Yeah, right. It's like obvious. Either way, yeah, pretty, pretty, uh, pretty basic things to call. But still she called it. She's been right so far. I'm not sure if I can get a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little Yeah, she's like steaming steaks in a pan and and Joe Gorega enters the kitchen and he goes I got some bad news. I just got back from Teresa's house. Joe got denied his appeal and Melissa's like holy shit. I wish I were surprised. I'm just gonna act really sad right now because otherwise Teresa will yell at me.

right now because otherwise Teresa will yell at me. Yeah, and he's like, she's like, do the kids know? And he says, they don't want to tell the young, what they don't want to tell Adriaunee. You know, she's too young. And Melissa's like, well, I don't agree with that because they got social media. They're going to hear about it, which is exactly right. Yeah, I'm not really sure what Teresa's doing.

Far be it from me to tell people the house raise their children, but why stop now? Tell your fucking kid, what's wrong with you? Yeah, exactly, she's smart enough. She's gonna figure it out. So then we go over to Frank and Dolores, who are pretty much starting the episode in the most Frank and Dolores way possible. They're driving up to a place called Lighting Expo, but they've got dogs in the car, and Frank

is like, Dolores! Oh my god, it smells like freaking dirty ass, these so he's freaking dogs near Dolores Dolores explains. Well, Frank, he didn't take the garbage out. The fish went bad and the dogs ate it. The way it smelled like fish. Do I say, well, what am I supposed to see that? The Lord shut up up Frank. I'm the cleanest girl you know. I just I love. He's like, well, that's not saying a lot to Laura. But I just like that this is the saga of like, this is the plight of Dolores and Frank that they have rancid fish in the garbage and their dogs ate it. And now the dogs have spread their stank onto them. The way she's like fish, it's like Dolores's entire season, you know raft up

And then also typical them dogs in the car while you're shopping You know, you're looking my aunties not there. She'd leave a note on your car a very very all-capsi note Well, why did they even bring the dog the dogs are smelling that they've got rancid fish breath, why are they even coming along to lighting expo? Is it essential that the dogs are there while you pick out lighting fixtures? I don't think so. You know what else isn't essential with the lighting expo? Your personal information, okay? Just come in and tell me what kind of light you want. How about that? So the lot poor lighting guys's like, I'm gonna come to the lighting expert. And Frank's like, ah, you know what?

She's moving in with a boyfriend, lighting expert guy. That's what's going on. She's moving in with a boyfriend. She's just like for a boyfriend, right? Yeah, by the way, the lighting expert's name was Joe. Just in case it was any concern that there was not another Joe on the show,

his name was Joe. I know Marty is really out of place. Yeah, I don't know what Marty's even doing. So Yeah, Frank is like so just you know on the front of the house. He has a big double door. She's big double door, okay? And I don't know why I wrote that down. I just like the idea of Frank describing houses And so they're looking at all these exterior lights and there's this modern one here and a less modern one but still all these like interesting exterior ones and Dolores is like you know what I like this one beta and we see the one she chooses is the worst one out of every single one we saw it's like yeah really it's like semi Hogwarts semi like Ashley furniture.

Yeah, I think it's like if, um, what's that couple who does that design show that makes me crazy Chris, the giant. Yeah, it's chip and show. It's like chip and show Anna Hogwarts. Yeah, it is chip and Joanna heart. It is, it was like uniquely terrible. And of course, that's the one that Dolores chose. Yeah, Dolores, just how she chooses things. Like, I don't like square

I like rounds. You know what I like a teetrop And then so she gets a text and of course Dolores is the person that goes I got a text like she's on love Island and she's like okay Joseph Peel denied. I'm sick. You know you know what, Frank? I'm sick for her. I'm sick. Although, to be fair, it might be the rancid fish from the garbage. You know what, I think it's that. I think it's that. Uh, I'm sick.

How much does each appeal? This is the second one. How much could that possibly cost, Frank? And he's like 10,000 scores, right? And now, you know that you've gone through that chance. And this chance never's even less of a chance. And I love when Jersey people start like Joe Gorgia last week. When he's like, all right, Loya, what do we got here?

50%, 40%, 30%, 20%, 10%, 1%. What kind of chance do we got here? I love when they start running the numbers on their chances. Yeah, yeah. They always start so high. Um, also at this point, poor Joe, Joe who works at the store, who was just like looking at all his lamps that he now has to wipe down after Frank's been talking. Oh, God.

Oh, more saliva. All right. Yeah. Oh, so then we go to Gorgah. Yeah. Oh, so then we go to Gorgah. Yeah, the Gorgas and Joe Gorgah is like, you know, I'm worried They're gonna spend all this money for nothing. I mean why can't you be even fighting it? Melissa's like you said for the girl Girls want their daddy. It's a no brainer. Oh god. So now we're gonna all act like this is just happening today. I mean yes You know the term no brainerer is often used with recent Joe. That's for sure.

Um, so yeah, so he's Joe is acting like he's the one who came up with this big idea for Joe to leave to leave ice and save the family some money. And I think it's because they got a lot of a lot of heat for Joe being like, yeah, so I just decided fuck this place, I ain't staying here no more, fuck that. You know, I got better things to do with my time. I'm not wasting it nice. Yeah, yeah. So either way, his days are numbered as we know. So now it's, they're're talking about it's gonna be Easter and they're gonna be doing Easter at Teresa's house, which I'm like, okay, so clearly that means that we're gonna have a big long segment at the end of the show where everyone cries and sure enough that's exactly what happens.

So in the meantime, we go over to Paramus where we're at Jennifer's house and her kids are just like back to being full monsters. One of the kids has a bow and arrow. He has a little bow and arrow that he's shooting at people inside the house. The other one is skating from the foyer into the kitchen like a skateboarding I should say. Like it's freaking silver spoons or something. I'm like, what is happening in this monster house? Yeah. I just put down Jennifer's kids shoot things. Yeah. Yeah. She also was her nanny or nanny. Yeah. Tiana. Portiana. Tiana is trying to teach the girls about who knows what? Like fractions and Olivia just takes the book and tosses it over her head

and gives her a scowl like I'm back bitches. Also Olivia has about 30 pounds of weave on her head or like a fake funny tell that do you notice that? No, I noticed that. She is hilarious. She's my new favorite thing in the world. She has like 30 pounds of hair on her head. I was cracking up and that family already has a lot of hair, you know, but she's got like her little housewives do, her little gen wig in.

So funny. So Jen's like, yeah, uncle's coming from music that day. Yeah. So I was in my mind, I was thinking it was the uncle who's going to get married to Melda. So I was like, really? What is he going to be teaching? Not realizing that Jen has an amazing musical theater, gay brother. Hello. Why have you been hiding him so so then Jennifer sits down with Gabriela and she's like so what's new in school Gabriela and she's like I got hit in the head with a ball I'm like damn first of all whoever threw a ball at our Gabriela you need to go throw yourself down some stairs that is not right okay you do not throw balls at our Gablla. Second of all, like, I'm like, kids are savages. Kids are fucking monsters. Here's my question. Didn't we defund

PE? What the fuck people are still doing PE? What the fuck am I voting for? Okay. I say no more PE. It's bullshit. Yeah. And then this little bitch, she tells Gabriella next time, see the ball coming. I was like that girl is a monster but that's exactly the sort of thing that Jennifer would say to anyone of her castmates by the way. Yeah. See, next time see the ball coming. I'm a Camerie!

That's what I do. I'm a ball player. I throw balls. You have to get away from my balls. If you know I'm there, you know I'm gonna throw a ball. It's not my fault if you can to get away from my balls. If you know I'm there, you know I'm gonna throw balls. Not my balls, if you can't get away from my balls. This is the match. I guess it's time for a commercial. It's something like that. I don't know. I don't need a commercial. I need a new living room. Okay, Joe, that's what I need.

Okay, classic match. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of WonderZee's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud

from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Yeah, so she's trying to give her advice, but Jen really doesn't know what to say. So she's like,

the better father you. Just coming this and, uh, you know, little do we know that that's what four uncle Steve has had to do. It's like Jesus Christ. Then we get this. Okay. So then we get Steve story. Yeah.

So Steve, so Uncle Steve comes over, um, and basically, he is a music teacher. He went to college for music and for musical theater, etc. And he wasn't really, it wasn't something that his parents wanted for him. It was looked down upon and it also looked down upon was the fact that he's gay. Yes, because he's gay. He's so he explains like musical theater. He loves musical theater because that allowed weirdos to feel important.

And you know, he didn't discover he was gay. So he went to college and, you know, I love his musical theater monologue because I feel like a huge part of this audience was like, yes, queen. I'm with you. Yes, queen. I'm with you. Yes queen. Because it's my story. And so Jen's like, yeah, I mean, I had a friend who sent your brother's gay.

And like we weren't, you know, like we weren't siblings. It talked about that. Like, and then she tells us, you have to understand my culture. It's a shame to have a gay son. My parents don't speak of it. Well, hello, let me speak to your parents for a second. Welcome to your new fucking culture, where you don't get to do that.

Okay, you don't get to just say anymore. It's my culture so I can totally disrespect you and make you feel like shit for the rest of your life. Fuck your parents culture. You are now in America. Welcome to your new culture where that shit don't fly anymore. Jennifer, I'm not gonna sit here and respect your parents

or my parents are anyone else's parents who do that to their children. So fuck you and Steve, don't even take this ship for two seconds, sir. That's right. That's right. If you're gonna be disrespected, you're gonna be disrespected because of the petty things you do. That's a little disrespect you for. But not because you're culture. I'm supposed to respect your culture of intolerance. Then you can respect my culture of saying fuck you to that. Yeah, wow, wow, look at that. That was a great like Dixie Carter monologue you just had hearing that. I'm so fucking sick of hearing that from people. It's my culture. You have to accept that that's the culture. Well, no, this is your culture. Yeah, and you don't get to treat your children like that because of who they are. Exactly. But along those lines, we also saw a picture of Young Steven.

They were like, the family was like sitting at like some restaurant and whatever. And Young Steven is there like a big yellow shirt with his like hands out like, yes! And then his dad is sitting right next to him with his hands folded like, ugh, that sounds gay. Yeah. Just so angry.

Probably. Oh, my son's gay. Yeah, just so angry. Oh, good. So then you can tell he's not really there for a piano lesson anyway, because he's like standing up. Like everyone's standing up around the piano. And then he's just plinking out Twinkle Twinkle little star. And Olivia's not even playing it. She just sings Twinkle Twinkle little star. And then she then goes, you're a natural.

She didn't even touch the piano. I know. Meanwhile, Tiana's like, Oh, I have to teach her about math and I'm like the bitch. But then Steven comes around and he's the hero. So then you're supposed to teach like Steven does. You're supposed to do her math for you or for her. What do we paying you for? So then, then Gabriella is like, mom, mom, can I ask you something? She's like, yes, what do you want?

Comedian talking to non-comedian right now. Mommy is Daiyige. I'm assuming Daiy means uncle. He's just like his Daiyige. And I was like, this is so sweet. Gabriella is finally developing Gator. Like, what a lovely thing to capture on camera. Well, they were talking about it right in front of her. Like sitting at the kitchen counter, listening to them. And she's like, wait a minute. That's that happens twice with the kids. They talk right in front of the kids.

Like kids can't hear you because they're young. Like they they're deaf too, you know, because of age. So either way, Gabriella, of course, is, you know, Gabriella thinks it's great, which is wonderful. And I know I'm good for Jennifer for like not showing, being like, yeah, he's gay and it doesn't matter to me. And I never told you earlier because I thought it didn't like, like who cares, right? I thought it was actually a very sweet scene. A shockingly sweet scene considering it was a Jennifer scene.

Yeah, I was pissed off the whole scene, but yeah, I thought that I don't know. I was in the middle because Jennifer's like, well, I never told you guys because like, you know, I didn't want to draw attention to it. Which I don't know. I took it as I'll see I took it. I mean, your your way is probably the right interpretation. I took it as her being like listen, or like, like, who people like, whatever, what people, well, she does say to her like, listen, you know, you like who you like. And there's nothing more to say, you know, in some ways, it's just like, you know, we're just like everyone else, it's just, you know, like you and I,

we're just like everyone else, it's just that grandma and grandpa, we don't approve of us. No, but I can't be, he can't speak of it in front of grandma and grandpa. Yeah, I had, when I watched, I interpreted as that she wasn't going to make her uncle seem like the other, but there's actually probably a little bit more truth to it of your interpretation than mine. Unfortunately, I mean, I don't even know how that worked in my family.

Like, if there was an actual conversation, I mean, I've just been as gay as day since, you know, forever. So I didn't, I never really had the conversation with my nieces because that's not my place, but my one of my older niece, the other day said, I love you, Guncle. And I said, and I said, I love you, back, niece. And she started cracking up. That's fine. Yeah. My, yeah, my, my, my niece and nephew, like, no, I'm fully gay. I will also like my nephew follows me on Instagram. So it's like, how many, how many pictures of big business can you put up before a child realizes you don't have to come out of the closet when you love vet, Midler and bit Lili Tomlin that much.

Exactly. Let them do it for you. Yeah. So anyway, so how Theresa and Danielle, uh, they're at happy hour. It's like one PM at some strange bar that like maybe upstairs from a dress bar. And I couldn't quite tell, but it was like this bar that had a lot of people, but it seemed like daytime. And then Danielle and Theresa were dressed way up way more than everyone else there.

Oh, yes. Teresa looked ridiculous. She's in a crop top lace black and white cookie dress. I mean, she looked crazy. She's got these big, huge earrings. So Danielle's like, I love you. And I fall out. I love it. Guess you're working out a lot on you. Yeah.

Yeah. That's like that was her entire story line last year. You guys are so close. Like it's evident. I know it's like besties. Saturisa is telling her about that. Joseph he'll got denied, but she's like, I wasn't going to tell my land yet, but she overheard it because you know, I'm on the phone lots, you know? So like, you know, it was not good. She overheard it. I'm like, yeah, of course she's going to offer it. If anyone's going to find out it's going to be a Melania because she's not like four years old. She's in middle school with kids who have phones. And at this point, now that you've

realized that Melania can find out, maybe you should address it to Adriana, but she's still holding out hope that she can like pull the wool over Adriana's eyes. Yeah. And Daniel's like, my heart ble Let me tell the rent and dreams to cuz yeah, that's who my hot means So Daniel's like did you're just in mom mode all the time come on getting streamed out and she's like But you don't think I feel like drinking a bottle of tequila's right now. She'll drink up So are you and you and mod used to get this and Danielle's like I would I wouldn't I wouldn't be so I'm not sure I've used that word to be together because why don't you live in the same house? So Danielle is being very sort of coy about her situation with Marty

She's like, you know what's nice in the morning. He makes coffee and I make my tea and we say good morning he makes coffee and I make my tea and we say, good morning. And Teresa asks about Oliver and Daniel's like, he escaped. So you know, getting along with Bonnie, you know, it's not terrible. Let's go over to Marlini, who can even make cutting cheese.

Not forcing, but like cutting cheese, literally cutting cheese, funny. She's cutting cheese with like a weird little knife. And Margie's like, what do you do? What do you do? She's like, cheese, knife. All right, you know what I meant? You put the cheese in the grape sunda. So I'm going to get a separate plate for the crackers.

Okay, cracker plate, cheese and grape plate. That's what we're going to do here. Okay, do we have another plate for a plum? Because I would love to have a plate for a plum. So Marty is coming over. They've called, they've So Marty is coming over. They've called it, they've summoned Marty to come over because they're his friends now.

And we get the fight. She's like, I know that Joe and Marty had problems because they had to argue it. So we see the clip of, we don't actually see, yes, but it's at the pool. But we do see that fight. They'll let up to it where Joe's like, you know, I think Danielle's throwing shit all over the place. And Marty's like, really? Oh no, opposite. Joe's like, yeah,

I think Danielle's throwing shit all over the place. And Marty's like, well, I think botched his throw and shit all over the place. Yeah. Yeah. This is a great debate. Yeah, exactly. Great debates of 2018. So they've invited Marty over to get to the bottom of what's going on. So he shows up and Margaret's like, oh, I'm not, you look so glamorous. Wow, I was so glamorous. I'm like, he's wearing a van he was in shirt with khakis. Yeah. Not sure why I'd say he's like the pinnacle of glamour

at the moment, it's not quite a, you know, he's not like a Tom Ford sauntering in. Yeah, but got, you know, we don't know what Marty looks like on a regular non-shooting day, you know? Probably like Jack is dad Yeah, well, Marty so glad to came over when we weren't Jamaica. I felt so bad when someone says someone something about you I stick up for you, buddy, right and with Teresa said dead. Yeah, so I said you know what did you have this doing this for ulterior motives Yeah, that's why I got a piss right now.

I'm very pissed right now. I'm like, you know what, it's like she's like vine-advines and you're like me. Okay, just taking advantage. Okay, so Marty's like, well, actually, Danielle and I are actually in a good place. We're civil. We're still in the house together. It's very peaceful in the morning. I make my coffee.

She makes her tea and we go good morning Mommy, she's being peaceful with you for one reason She doesn't want to get out of that house. Okay, to be honest with you, Molly She's only around people she can get something from okay Which Marty does not seem to realize so then we cut back to Danielle and she's like she's like you know I don't know where we're gonna go from here, but I need to apologize to Marty. I heard him and I, I humiliated him and I will forever regret it. I will, I will.

But I want the house and I want to be the start of the legacy for my children. I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, the legacy, a nice suburban ranch house, you can be the legacy for your children and off like the exit, exit 14 from the Garden State Parkway, like that's gonna be your chill, like I see if you're a children, I'm not sure about that. You just want to have a legacy, Danielle, because basically, because they showed clips, right, when Marge is like, listen, she tried to root in your life. And then we see clips of Danielle saying that Marty was abusive towards her. And now Danielle is saying, oh, I'm so, so,

sorry, I humiliated him, I hurt him. So is this an admission that she's just lying that Marty was abusive? And this is the legacy for her children. What the fuck is happening in the sea? This is a very disturbing. I mean, it's so transparent. I actually think it's hilarious. I mean, she obviously just wants the house. Everything that Margaret is saying is correct, but she's Danielle is so transparent about it is I love it. Like I just love these monsters on Bravo sometimes. You know, and Danielle, she's like, I just want to have the legacy for my children. She's already like weaving in like the sob story about why she should have the house that I think was like Marty's house. I'm not sure. So, uh, legacy is like when you've actually accomplished something Danielle, okay? It's like my god and then tree's like well, but like what about Oliver? Because and she goes well, you know

Listen with a house of that caliber. I have a cosyena Oliver It's like but wait if you're getting back with Maudi's you don't need all of her So I don't need Oliver But if we're gonna to get the interest rate, we found, I mean, it's phenomenal. So we're in the process of getting the mortgage interest rate approved. I see a future.

I see a future. It is such a blatant scam that she is pulling, using Oliver as the co-signer to get the, like kissing up to Marty, sleeping with Marty to soften him up Then getting Oliver to co-sign this house for her I mean it is like literally like unfolding before our eyes and like the worst film war we've ever seen in our lives And I am totally here for it like I love this. I love that this is happening and no one seems to be like like questioning any of it. And on top of that, Teresa, the thing, the fact that she even says, like, say, if you and Mottie get back together, you don't need

all of her. Like, she's not saying, but I thought you were in love with Oliver. Oh, are you in love with Marty now? She's literally talking like a transactional thing. Like, oh, well, you don't need all of her anymore. Like, should we return them to the store? Like, it's so blatantly obvious they're running a scam. So then back at Marge is a scam over like a generic house, a very generic house. Yeah. So back over with Marge and Marty, she's like, well, you know, they were making

sound like you're getting back together. And Marty says, well, I don't know what's gonna happen in five years No, no So Marty is talking about so they sort of ask him again like so are you sleeping with Danielle? He's like, you know what? I'm not going to talk about what I do with Danielle. It's private. And she goes, he fucked her. He fucked her.

You know what? Men are done. He fucked her. Yeah. Men are really fucking stupid. So Marty's like, you know what? I'm also not going to be a part of tearing it. All right.

Maybe, you know, somebody can change. And she's like, yeah, but the next system, okay. Um, Marty is like sitting over there, like she's totally changed. Okay, you know, I know her accusing me of abuse. You know, I'm not saying it was great, but you know, whatever. Marty meanwhile, Dan yellow is over there talking about how she's still going to, you know, get the get that

house one way or another with all of the legacy for her children. Marty, do yourself a favor, rent body heat or rent like the last deduct what rent anything with Linda Fiorentino in it and then come back to us. Yeah, Red Rocks, a fun one. Oh my red rock West. Not Linda Fiorent. Yeah, that Linda Fiorentino's not in that one. That's the same director as last Red Rock West is one of my altos.

Probably a top five movie. Good one. It's absolutely amazing. So, um, to read, we go back one laugh for like one last segment to reset Danielle and Teresa's like, if things have a good tense with you and Maddie, you can always stay with me.

And Danielle, being the over dramatic person that she is, she's like, oh, oh, with everything that you have going on, that you could even think of me that way. Oh, oh, like I love the way she like kisses the ring with Teresa. She's just hilarious. Yeah. So then we go to Jackie and her kids in the car. Wait, second.

I may say something really quickly that there was a commercial break. And I don't know if you caught it. And now it's hard to pop up on social media. I was the first commercial that I had seen for below deck sailing yacht. Did you see that? Oh Jesus Christ. We got Adam again. Yeah. Chef Adam, are you kidding me? Yes. And this whole show is about about tipping people being like, oh my God, the bus. But you know what though? If Christopher Nolan taught us anything, it's that when you put things on angles it can still be pretty fun

Like a hallway We're gonna have to talk about this below deck sailing out not sure how I feel about it. There is a hot guy on it Who is breast? He's like did you see the the one minute extended thing that like I think captain Sandy put on her Instagram And so did K-Chess ain at the end end of the one-minute clip, the hot guy goes, are you laughing? I'm still breastfed by my mother. Do you think that's funny? And the guy goes, sort of, he goes, well, fuck you. I don't even, there has to be a larger context. I don't know what it is. But honestly, I'm kind of sold by that line. That is crazy. Yeah, well, of course, we'll be in from that. So we're suckers like that. Yeah. Well, I'm sure when the trailer breaks for that,

like the official trailer, we will do a deep dive. Yeah. So Jackie and her kids are in the car and they're going to see Poppy. And the daughter's like, you know, guess what? KISS is. So we get. Yeah. By the way, Poppy, Jackie's daughter's like, you know, guess what kiss is? So we get Poppy Jackie's dad is like Such the textbook what kisser like if you ever think like who is the exact sort of person who would give a what kiss

Like just put that man's picture in the dictionary like he is just like what kiss see Jackie's dad So we start talking about how they're, uh, you know, we get the story again about how they're not to, they're not to force it very happily married. They just don't live together because they're both, you know, kind of cuckoo. There's a Robert Redford movie in there somewhere, some domestic drama that is like that there, there is, there is a Robert Redford domestic drama here. I'm swear to God. Dude, there's like a

Ronnie Kerr on life in there somewhere. This sounds amazing to me. I'm like, I could be happy married. You know, maybe I could get married. I've never really thought about it before this, but maybe we've been married all this time, Ronnie. So they get over there and the kids go to play. And you know, Jackie's going through his

fridge and trying to take care of him. And she's like, Dad, I mean, geez, do you ever throw anything away? You're throwing anything away in 20 years, Dad. And you're going to die. He's like, yeah, one of the little things away, but I never know if you're going to come over and be hungry. You know what I'm saying? Dad, stop it.

Please stop mocking my weight, Dad. Did he really say that? No, no, I'm just joking because my god. So it's so later. He really is. Oh my god. This is a lot of sensitivity. By the way, I'm not mocking. I'm not my mucking Jackie or any eating disorders that she or anyone else has had. I'd like to clarify. No, I'm just checking if I missed a note because you know, every scene in this, I got so mad. And it was like a great episode, by the way, it's very funny up a song. Only this show could make me this mad and laugh this hard. So she's like, I just want to clarify that it like it was everything is so over the top in how like awful it is,

like someone throwing a ball at Gabrielle's head. It's just like, what? That's like people are so rude. It's so crazy that like I couldn't help but laugh, you know, like you expect, like the things that this guy says in the scene, you're just like, like, what is this that I'm watching? What is this craziness? Yeah, she's like, dad, I wish you would live near me. He's like, I wouldn't leave it like city.

I gamble three times a month. And so she talks about how her dad was like, taking her to the casino since she was a little girl. I mean, what? Like, her parents don't live together. Her dad snuck her into casinos. Like, there's, I'm sorry. Did I say that there was a Robert Red for movie?

No, I'm sorry, those are Barbara Streis strison directed film That's kind of coming out Christmas 2022 about Jackie and her family. I swear to God So she's telling us about that and going through his madness to make sure those aren't expired too And he's like, you know what? We're gonna watch a video. Come on gather around everybody. I want you to see this It's a video. She's like, oh my god. Mike dad always says this to me We should also mention that this house has not left 1987. It is like purple carpets everywhere. Salmon walls. I mean, just like, it was like, this is just like exactly what you would think. An old man who loves gambling and now lives in Manala, Pan New Jersey, what his house would look like.

now lives in Manalapan, New Jersey, what his house would look like. Yeah. So he websites a video and it's 1993 junior prom. And she's, you know, bigger in high school. She has an eating disorder. We all know this. This is her storyline and anorexia and stuff. So it's showing a picture of her junior prom when she's bigger. And he's like, who's that big girl? Who's that big girl over there? who's that big girl who is that big girl over there look at that big girl big big girl

she's like to have to have please and she in fact this she started her dieting right after this video was shot like basically and when she said that's when she began dieting the implication is that's what her disorder eating disorder began and she as she had in the dad goes, you're a good inspiration to the girls well heavy. She's like, that I battled a terrible eating disorder for 20 years. It was almost worth it. Look at Jen out. Oh my God. So she yells at her dad.

She's like, Jesus Christ, dad. Don't say that. My God. You insane. She's like, Jesus. I almost taught you. I just know you didn't know you didn't you just stop eating hot dogs. No big deal. Look how big you are. Look how skinny you are. Now it was worth it. It was worth it. Oh my God. So she's she gives it to

him. She gives him the business being a total monster. And she explains to us, she's like, you know, like it was my entire meal prod, like I would be in the middle of a meal and I throw it in the garbage, so I literally couldn't finish it. I was starving myself. Like I'd need him to understand the pain of this, you know. And that's just flustered. It's with that with this, with that with it. Okay. And he looks like he just doesn't get it. And he probably does. And I don't think he does. Something that ever changes. I think that like halfway through her lecturing,

he started thinking about playing PyGa or something. Like it was not, it was not, not registering with him. Yeah. All right, let's go over to Teresa's house. She's got a ton of bags. Somebody else doesn't register things. Yeah.

So she's doing a ton of Easter baskets for all the everybody, everybody in the day. But and Teresa is telling us like, you know, if we didn't have this immigration problem, daddy would have been home for Easter. I'm like, also, if he didn't commit fraud, that would also help too. Yeah, so yeah, she is like, well, he called and said his hubs are getting denied and can't live with that. And then the Gorgas are coming over or Joe comes over first. Sorry, I thought we were already at the gym or show, but we're not. So Joe comes over because he's like, I got to be a father figure to these

kids, huh? Yeah. So he comes over and trees like we was just saying, like a normal sun, you know in Stance's Joe's with me. I was talking to him yesterdays, and yesterday he played me for this. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a lawyer. He's like, well, why don't you do it, you lazy fuck. You're the one who got like, Jo, Jo, do you guys, you act like this the first time you got in trouble with a law? You, you freaking tried to like, pull some shenanigans with your license.

You pretty much got caught drunk driving and then no, no, had to cover for you, okay, like. Oh god, do you remember that when he was like, I wasn't drunk driving, you know, I got pulled over, I went home, I got stressed when he was like, I wasn't drunk driving. You know, I got pulled over, I went home, I got stressed about it, and so I had a couple shots. Yeah, he flipped his car right by Nono's house. So he went and had like a few shots with Nono.

So that way, cause to wind down, that's why he had cars. That's why he had booze in the system after he flipped his car. It's like, dude, like how many times do you have to just like try to like get thrown in jail before you realize that maybe you should become a citizen first before you get thrown in jail so that we don't get shipped off. So Joe is basically pitching to Gia that they need to just let Joe leave uh other Joe leave ISIS and go to ISIS. Uh, leave ice and go to. Uh, cause that's what never Teresa said at the first time.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, he's an ice. Yeah. I think we had. I think we had one. I think we had an episode where we imagined Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, and I says, so what's the tourism for today? Huh?

What are you going to do in the tourist now? And Joe is pitching to Gia that they just need to let Joe leave ice and go back to Italy because it's costing too much money. Yeah, you know, she's like he's not gonna win. So like you can't just keep going and expect to win. Now like he's lost. Okay, he's being deported. So Goria goes, he's deteriorating in there. You understand? And Theresa's face is pretty much like, now, what's the theory of rating means? Yeah. So G, of course, is crying because who wouldn't? And basically, they start crying and necksees. This is the whole episode of this. Yeah, the rest of this episode with three and then it's like a lot of crying. Yeah, so now that's so it's Easter Sunday and Teresa's in the catch-in and she's like,

girl's I made lollipop lamb. Which I think I mean I think I know what that is and it's probably like it's probably just like lamb chops, right? Lamb chops. Yeah, lollipops. They're called lollipops. I don't know. For some reason, here in Teresa say lollipop lamb had me like very concerned that there

were some two roles in there. Yeah, Teresa would have put a fucking blowpop on a pan and just stepped at the oven. The real star of the scene, of course, is No No, who is like shuffling around and at one point he goes to the fridge and he pulls out a bottle of hot sauce and just starts chugging it.

And then he puts it back. He chugs it directly from the bottle, which is is very intense visual to begin with. He puts it back and then it's like, Hey, no, no, you're getting sick. You're getting sick. So on top of everything else, he's sick and chugging. I think that's why he was drinking it. No, I know. But he's like melting his mouth on the hot. Oh, yeah, he's getting everybody else sick. No, no. Yeah. She's like, dad, you've read them heavy. I'm like, he just drank a bottle of hot sauce.

And there's that. My grandfather drank Listerine. That was his thing, my giddy. He would want the round going, you sick? Listerine. All right, don't be bullshit. And he would just drink his Listerine. And he was just convinced that you're in everything.

So we grew up drinking Listerine. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Meanwhile, over at Delores's house, she's like scattering Easter eggs around the lawn, which is probably the thing she's been looking forward to the most all year long. You know on Easter, you know what I like to do?

I walk around in circles and I just throw eggs on the ground. I just walk around. I just leave the eggs everywhere. And then I scatter over here on the left side of the lawn, and then I go to the right side of the lawn, I scatter. I come back the eggs everywhere and then I'm I scatter over here on the left side of lawn and then I go the right side of the lawn I scatter I come back scatter some lawn just do it over and over again until I till I just feel like the insects all have an egg for themselves, you know? You gotta love that Dolores doesn't even try to do an Easter egg hunt. She's just like you know what it's called an Easter egg pick up my lawn. Yeah seriously. So we're gonna litter on my lawn

and have the kids pick it up Just go throw a wigs all over my lawn So for 25 years I've been cooking every holiday. I mean for holidays. I cooked my sauce I cooked my lasagna. I walked in the living room to the kitchen the living room I cooked for mass I cooked for boo well we lost boo But you know what now we got these new dogs do The new dogs, I would normally cook for them, but you know what, though they get into the rants of fish, they smell like fish, I can't get even close to them. I say, Frank, bring this food to the new dogs.

He's like, the Lord, I can't even get close to the new dogs. So you know what, I stop cooking, I can't do it anymore. So you know what, what am I doing for, for why? Yeah, she's got caterers this year. My spread, the Lord. And she's like, yeah, you know, I feel like I'm someone else's house right now, it's so nice. He goes, you're when you married David, this house is mine. So, uh, and then the big question is, is David going to show up for Easter?

And if he does show up, will he be on time? This is basically Frank trying to push this question because he's trying to undermine their relationship, which is all because you think you'd want their relationship to be stronger or so that way he could get the house. Yeah. Well, she goes, he better show. I don't ask for much. So when I do ask you show, how you're getting a house.

So I don't know if I'd put that in the category of, I'm not asking for much, not saying that she necessarily asked for the house, but it's like, he does nothing for me. So when I ask, he better show. Listen, I keep everything. I'm very upfront. Okay, there's nothing hidden with me.

Okay, I'm like an Easter egg hunt. I'm just right there out in the open. So back at trees. Let's see what's happening here. She said, oh, this is, this is why. And then she goes, yeah, because next Easter we're going to spend with dad right, Adriana. I was like, come on, guys. I get not telling her, but this is

just getting cruel now. I know. It's just being just going to be next Easter. It's just going to be us and dad, Santa Claus. All our favorites, one big happy family here in New Jersey, absolutely in New Jersey, where and dad Santa Claus. All our favorites, one big happy family.

Here in New Jersey, absolutely in New Jersey, where dad will be able to walk free. So Dolores, I like all the groans you've had today, Ron. Every single joke I'm like, oh, I just grown it all. You know what I think it's because you... I feel bad. I'm getting lost. I know you don't, but I'm getting brainwashed by this show. I feel bad for like kids. I feel bad for the kid, especially Adriana. She's so cute. They're like, I'm not going to tell her, oh, you're going to see daddy soon. It's just depressing. It's so sad. Leave the kid alone.

I, um, I feel bad, obviously, for the children who don't get to see their father and don't, know and like and it's a very sad situation for them and their family has been torn apart by his legal activities and also just general stupidity so obviously I feel bad for the kids but I feel like like every time Teresa just every time they have these moments like what are you doing I don't think like oh I guess I just don't I feel like I my my sympathy for the kids is a given in my mind and I just laugh at just how terrible, terribly I feel like this is all being handled. Yeah, it really is. And all always every little bit on camera.

Yeah, I mean, I'll never know, I mean, hopefully, I will never know what it's like to be in Theresa's shoes because she does have a lot on her play having to do all of this. But I just, I hate the I feel like Bravo always tries to do this. Always tries to create this, this sad, more more, more of a situation. And it's like, no, you two idiots created this for yourself. You guys made this mess. Yeah. And you had chances for it to not be as big of created this for yourself. You guys made this mess. Yeah. And you had chances for it to not be as big of a mess as this and you still made this mess. Yeah, that's our life with Teresa and Joe and Jail. And Jail and camps.

So Dolores is like Frank, you lose some weight, that sharp fit. He's like, I'm sure it's going to be back by the end of the day. Dolores. And then the entire family comes over. Frank you lose some weight that sharp fit is like I'm sure it's gonna be back by the end of the day the lorsh And then the entire family comes over. That's a big family. Yeah, there's Valerie. There's other Valerie Louis Valerie three Louis two Joe three

Frank four Valerie five is a lot of people Frank Joe Joe, Joe Frank, Joe and Frank. Yeah. So they've got, uh, the, the, the scene just for us, I feel like because the death, like my spread to Laura's and she like, and dad, you're eating is good. What do you have for breakfast, dad? Well, I have a bagel and then I had some cream cheese after that. And then after that, I had some jelly. She's like, at that, I don't know that that's good. Hello, wake up cool. Your health, you're not supposed to have bread in the morning.

A process, sugar mom, what do you have? She goes, eggs, eggs, chocolate eggs. And she's like, yeah, also the dad said, most importantly, the dad is like, you know what, I had a bagel and cream cheese and jelly, but I toasted it, she's like, okay, that doesn't really impact anything. I like that anything that I toasted, it was like enough. Yeah, it's chocolate eggs.

Chocolate eggs. You have the cat burger, cream eggs, have a breakfast mom. Yeah. And she just gives a guilty look. Yeah. So funny. So then David finally shows up.

And he is like, he like walks in and he sees like Frankie and he's like, Hey, Frankie, oh, hey, looking, looking all buff now, huh? And just basically starts molesting Frankie. I was like, excuse me, sir, you have to go 10 to your wife right now. Our girlfriend. And Frank has already announced like, David's going to be late. David's late.

David's going to show up. So when he does, everybody's like, Oh, you showed up. I'm glad you showed up. And Dolores calls it because Frank is just mad that David gets to be late. And she doesn't yell at him. And she was always yelling at Frank for being late. Yeah.

But like everyone in the family is like, yeah, but when you were late, it's because you were fucking around. David's late because he's like a doctor delivering babies. Like high risk babies, no less. Yeah. Frank, Frank gives a toast. He's like, to the couple in the new house, everybody to the Lord's removing them with David.

Frank, you're spitting all over the catering come on Hmm, and the bad ass them. Let me ask you David. Is there relied to get the total of this cream cheese and David's like listen. I'm just trying to finish the house God damn people leave me alone I'll tell you what needs to be left alone. My bagel and the toaster, every second it stays in there, the healthier it becomes. It's practically a carrot, and they are looking at it.

It's practically a carrot. So now back at Teresa's house, no one knows taking the lamb out of the oven. Oh! And Melissa, the whole crew starts showing up, and they're all, it's so cute seeing the kids like, you know, isn't it fun watching kids go from being just like cute, not cute, but like, you know, like generic kid wear and then starting to see the first signs that they're

Jersey kids, you know, the first like big chunky necklaces and things like that. I was like, oh, oh my kids, your kids are getting all be beat up. Yeah, I was like, oh my kids are your kids are getting all BB up. Yeah, I was like, oh my God. So you'll be at the Jersey Shore. Yeah, it's cute. It's like I write a passage. I'm Melissa brings some sprinkle cookies.

Like, isn't this funny that we can joke about this now? It's like we've been watching this show for longer than a day, Melissa, okay? Yeah. Come on. Melissa is saying like, you know, like there was a time when I would have brought Sprinkle Cookies over, it would not have gone so well. And it's sad that it took all these things that she's going through to get us where we are.

It is so sad that she's had to go through so much pain and devastation and jail where she's had to really face her life and look at all the terrible things that she's had to do and has done and the terrible thing She's done to other people for us to get to this point where we can get along. I'm so sad about that Yeah, I'm just torn up inside so Josie's Melania Melania looks great like she's grown up and she's like Exercising and eating healthy and stuff and he's like hey Melania, why are you so skinny? You're looking at a boy, you got a boy, you got a boy, you're looking at a boy,

because that's the only fucking reason a woman would ever want to look good, right Joe? Yeah. It's fucking so, so furious me today. Me, whoa. And then I love it. I'm like, oh, no, no. I don't know, no, meanwhile, is like falling apart

throughout this entire episode. And they just have this casual way of checking in on them like Hey, no, no, you're breathing sort of heavy. What's going on? No, no, huh? No, no, you're turning green. I know no I think your leg fell off. You're okay. He doesn't like being talked to I worry. He's been in the hospitals with pneumonia some more times than I can count is yeah like more than three Like you're gonna get at the hospital You got a hospital. No, no, he goes Tuesday, I was like whoa, whoa, no, no please

It's like just yells this is the days Why why are you waiting till Tuesday? No, no Then we see Melissa at the at the stove and she scoops like 24 enormous meatballs onto her plate. I was like, please tell me she's sharing these. Yeah, I'm guessing that's the serving plate. She's taking a matter that meatballs do. I was like, because we know this bitch isn't eating more than a quarter of that meatball. And Joe is just like, hey, let's get the table set. And he just sits

down with a bottle of wine. Like such a husband thing to do. I had to say the food looked amazing. I mean, I, we've seen Theresa put out food before. This is the first time I was really like, okay, I could fuck with this shit. I really could fuck with this shit. This looks amazing. Pizza Kina. I don't know what that is, but God damn that looked amazing. Yeah. It's not they're saying there's a pizza Gina or pizza. Who cares? No, but not a sacred saying like, uh, thank you, God, for this delicious meal, mommy. We love you. We know you're watching this. Uh, look over Joe. Make sure that the window can open up easily, if he needs a draft and don't put him in the shoe or anything like that.

I also want to thank my doors because they're nice and they're pretty still. And I like to handle on my door. So thank you, Jesus. I'm like to handle some of my door. I love that angels wings. Thank you, Jesus. And she knows like, the best. Oh, she knows the kid. He's like, that's the best great great ante and he's like super cracked out of his mind because he just keeps like sneaking sugar in front of the camera.

He's like, best grace. That was the best grace ever. And porn no, no, like the very like, like, you know, mention of, you know, his poor, like his beloved wife, he just starts crying at the table It is so sweet and the girls go to comfort him like that was to me. No, that was like that was a lovely moment Yeah, I'm a tree on this like Daddy made the best lamb chops, right? No, no, it's like, how could you do this to me? Teresa and no, no, like look at, how could you do this to me? You have a liar! You have a liar! Teresa and no, no, like look at her, like, are you kidding me, child?

After all we've given you, this is the love you show us that you like, Joe, Judy says, lamb chops that came from a stofers box. No, right, we're telling her. Yeah, that's like all it takes for Teresa. Like, okay, I'm destroying your childhood right now. So, no, no's upset, he's crying. And Teresa's like, no, no, it's for trees. Like, okay, I'm destroying your childhood right now. So no knows upset. He's crying. And trees is like, no, no, what's the problem? You really don't know. He started sobbing when he said, bless, bless his wife. Yeah. And so

then he drinks it, you know, he starts drinking a lot. And she's like, you might some water, you might some water. He's like, man, yeah, to seats. Yeah. So now we also get another gift from Bravo, which is that Jo, to you guys calls in, which means we get our favorite tradition from the season. This is a free phone call from Jao. Jao. So Melissa's like, how are you doing?

You're hanging in there. He's like, eh, what are you gonna do? You can't do anything. What are you gonna do? It's bullshit. All right you doing? You hanging in there? He's like, eh, what are you going to do? You can't do anything. What are you going to do? It's bullshit. All right. Hey, do you know there? Geno, you get to all of a sudden, so I saw you, huh?

And Geno goes, no, I got a shorter. That's a good one, kid. I love how much that person from there, kids. Like, yeah, what are you going to do? This bullshit, this fucking place in you. I saw a guy get reaped the other day. What are you going to do? Hey, Geno, how are you doing in school? And Adri it's like hi daddy I'm eating lamb chops today and they're

not as good as yours yeah and Teresa's like Joe Joe say hi to Joey no that Joey um I don't know why I wrote that down like like anyone cares that Teresa told Joe to say hi to Joey I don't know I think it's just like a muse by all the Joe's Like ten years later. I'm still amused that there's so many Joe's on the show He's like a three on that how tall are you now, huh? How tall are you? What you're for seven? That's crazy He she's a tall as Joe Joe, huh? So then Joe Goryer gets on the phone. He's like listen, bro. I fucking love you bro I fucking love you again the kids are like bro, I fucking love you bro, I fucking love you.

Again, the kids are like right there, I fucking love you and I miss you. And then he starts to get choked up. So then Melissa's like, oh my god, I'm fake crying now also, oh my god. That was the worst fake sob I've ever seen in my life. She puts both her eyes in her hands like, oh, she's like trying to push her eyes until tears will come out

and then she takes them off and I'm like, you need to try harder Okay, or just go for like a light here coming up, but don't go down for a sob She's doing the Candace still learn things she's she folds her napkin up into a square start dabbing, you know But Joe Gorgas like you got to stay strong, bro You got to stay strong and by the way just so you know I've been telling you I've been telling your family that they have to give up on you, but you stay strong. You stay strong. So, it's recent that team has me as it passed five years, our whole family ripped it apart.

We haven't been to get on the holiday. So she starts her whole thing and they're like 20 seconds left. And then Adriana starts starting And then I just like I can't wrote how long is this going to go on? Because this is that being the as that big like a 20 minute scene. Well, I also like when Joe and Teresa also get to finally talk and like their chemistry is like, what's going on? She goes, nah, in. I was like, okay, great. Happy Easter. So yeah, so poor Adriana, Adriana, she

starts to cry. So Gia takes her walks her away. I have to say one thing is like, also should be go without saying, but it's like sometimes it just really has to be pointed out like how wonderful Gia is and that she has taken on this role of like, I'm gonna take care of my little sisters because you see it like every episode. She even seems to take care of my little sisters because you see it like every episode She even seems to take care of Teresa like Gea is like Bravo hero at the moment and also she has beautiful eyes. I never realized how beautiful her eyes were so anyway So Gea Gea walks Adriana away and Melissa is doing the Candace-Dillard eyes swab etc and everything and so they go

Teresa goes after Adriana who's like crying in a room and it's like So Teresa goes after Adriana who's like crying in a room and is like comforting her and Adriana is just like, I just want to see Daddy before he leaves. Well, we get to see him before he leaves. And Teresa is basically like, she doesn't want Adriana to see Joe behind the glass at the other side. Yeah. And this is another, this is another scene where she's sitting right there and Teresa's like yeah it makes my heart you know she's too young to see him behind the glass like that and she's just sitting there listening so she comes up and she's like right

there yeah she's like mom can I talk to you she goes sure she's what were you saying she's I was saying I don't want to see his debts behind glasses I don't want you to see it get the ever glasses and she's like, but mom is dad getting to pour it. Oh, we don't know yet. Honey, we don't know yet. Just will you just tell me if he is. Of course I tell you. She starts doing that high pitched line with Teresa's line. Yeah. I'm going to get you. Of course. My God. And then you just lie to her face again.

Like how can you lie to a kid? She's already crying and she's asking you flat out and you're swearing that you're gonna tell her. She like, Adriana literally heard you saying everything. And she was like right there. And the best is that when Theresa realizes she's caught, she just looks at Adriana and goes, I love you.

So now no, no, me no meanwhile no no has now moved over to the couch at his on an oxygen tank I'm not laughing that he's ill. I'm just like laughing that it just feels like everyone else is just like you know eating their meatballs and stuff and no no It's like no no So so joke or go take the hub to the kitchen. I don't got no more blood. Oh, sorry. No, I didn't have it in the set. I was like, oh, that's why he says this. So Gorgas gives a speech to everybody. He's like, this family's been through a lot.

Remember what these here sprinkle cookies did to us? We're never gonna let cookies do this again to us. Stay strong, guys. Everybody have a sprinkle cookie And I just wrote why is this the scene for two hours. I know please make it end and thank God they ended. Yeah But overall really Good episode Jersey's having a good year. It is Yeah, it's I feel bad for those kids, but wow, they bravo sure likes to milk it, don't they? Yeah, they're like dragging them through the mud these kids.

Jesus. For years and years and years. Anyway, speaking of mud, there will be lots of it flying around when we recap the part one of the Orange County reunion that'll be coming up later today. Go to watchcrafted.com to get tickets to all the shows in 2020 and we'll talk to you on the next episode. Bye, everyone. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts, before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.