Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Drunk Histories

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

Jennifer Fessler hosts a BBQ on Real Housewives of New Jersey (S13E5) which devolves into a screaming matching between Marge and Jennifer. Later, Danielle hosts a Barbie party in Staten Island.Watch with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/79716107/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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Taxes and other fees still apply. Introducing the new audible original breakthrough. The genre redefining audio only series that strips away the superficial to reaffirm what matters most, pure talent. Featuring celebrity judges Kelly Roland, Sarah Bareilles, and host David Diggs. Here every step of the musical journey has five underscored musicians battle through a series of high stakes singing and songwriting challenges for one top spot. It's musically gifted as they are artistically unique?

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It's someone who I would never call a disheveled drug addict. It's Mr. Ronnie Caram hi, Ronnie. Welcome. Hello. How are you, man? I am so good. Thank you. How are you? Good. Yeah, so it's a new jersey day. I'm very very excited about it So we the big New Jersey recap coming your way, this is crap and it's on demand. Go to patreon.com slash watch or crap and you can watch us, not just listen to us, hello I'm waving to you. You also get access to our bonus episodes every week. This week was about Tom and Ariana.

Or Ariana and Tom as I've decided to say, I'm gonna start saying there are a couple of names now. That was actually a bonus made free for everyone, but generally speaking, the bonus episodes are only available on Patreon. So go check that out there. There's also a Discord community. This week, tomorrow, tomorrow, Thursday, where we have a big, huge show in Charlotte. We're recapping Vanderpump rules, so that's gonna be a wild night. And then on Saturday, we're in Atlanta, and we're going to recap for part one of the Real Housewives of Miami reunion.

After that, we're gonna be going to Denver. We'll be doing Venn and Purple Rules in Denver. And then in Salt Lake City, we're going to be recapping the premiere of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip, which is funny because Heather Gay is a cast member of the Girls' Trick. And she's also on the Real House Wessos Salt Lake City.

What a confluence of events. Could it get crazier than that? Can it? Could it be a crazier night than that? It might be. Who sounds pretty crazy. Sounds pretty crazy. So anyway, later in the month, we're going to San Francisco and Seattle.

Go to watchercrapids.com to get the full schedule, because we're going to several more cities beyond March. But we have the schedule up there as well as ticket links. So go check that out. Also, this week, Dwell Hello, we put it up every other week. This is a Dwell Hello week. So go check it out. We're going to have Dwell Hello up this week if it's not already up already. It's going to be a fun episode

where we recap house hunters and a guy who has a lot of lizards. So lots of fun stuff happening here on the show. Andy Cohen of it's like the Andy Cohen of how of HGTV. Yeah. Okay. So let's get into this. Wow. Real Housewives of New Jersey. Kind of a chill episode. Yeah. Okay. So let's get into this. Wow. Real Housewives of New Jersey. Kind of a, you know, like chill episode. It's like a very good to know the new girls.

Couple of things. One, they're really going all in with these new girls. So like you are officially the leads of the show right now. So the show is about YouTube right now, you know. Which I kind of like. It's my style of some newness. Also, March just does not give any fucks anymore at all, huh? March is like fuck it. I'll just get... she's

gotten mad before and said some nasty stuff or whatever, but she's just, she's like coming to WWF right now, and I love it. She's writing the like fist fight. What the hell? She's, well, she can only fist fight so much because she's got a bone that's doing the wrong way in her arm right now Could you believe it? Rose and my doctor said what do you want to be deformed? What is that what you want? You want to be deformed? Listen when I say I got a bone to pick with you. I really mean it. So yeah, Marge Marge went for it Jennifer. Oh is they you know when they go Jennifer Jennifer. Yeah, they just are going to race

to the bottom, which is hilarious. And, um, yeah, it's, it's wow. But I think it's really good. We got some new people because I'm still amused by these fights, but I would not be surprised people watching, you're like, oh, it's the same thing between this. This is, yeah, it's, it's, it's officially too much.

And I know that you guys tried to do the whole, like, let's make up, you know, because you have to do that on housewise. You have to do the makeup season and then you can fight again later. You know, Teresa and Melissa have been doing this for years, you know, like we hate each other. We're never going to speak again and then they're like, you know, not best friends, but their friends and they hang out and go to each other's shorthouse, okay? And then, you know, you have to change it up. The camps just always be hating each other, you know? And I think they're falling into that trap.

Yeah. So anyway, this one opens up with things going on around town. So it opens up with Margaret going, Joe, Joe, come here, come on, do my jeans please. Come on, tuck my pockets, get it, zip it up, zip up the fly. I know how to do pants, you don't have to tell me how to do it, okay? I know how to do your pants.

If you know how to zip up a fly, why is it being up a brochure for 10 of fly? Zip up my pants fly, not 10 of fly, okay? Tuck my pockets in, Joe, Al, you're gonna give me camel toe, Joe? Oh my God, now it looks like I have a penis with this fly it down my pants. It's fly, 10 of fly.

Joe, why did you stuff that plastic bag in my pants? Well, Margie, I never know if it's gonna rain you. It might need some leave you out. Joe, I don't want to use a plastic bag from AMP, okay? So then we go over to Dolores and Paul at Paul's house. And Dolores is like, everything hurts to me, Paul. Okay, my joint's hurt me. I'm hot.

He's like, you know, without his right? What? The beginning? The beginning of what? Amen, applause. Now listen, it would be called women applause. The Frank was involved with it But you got me now and now you got the real man of pause. All right, so I could shut up, holy Jesus. Hey, the law The law. Hey, this is your frank calling in. I wasn't in this episode, but I want to let you know You know what I call it? Menopause? Because what do you want for me to why they call it menopause?

Cause what do you want from you? Got to take a pause from men. Ha ha! It's all right. That was a great one, Frank. Thanks, Frank. Paulie, you have a lot to be worried about. All right, Frank, this fucking trauma.

So then we go to Danielle, and she's practicing an entrance for her daughter who's holding her son's hand. They're just like walking and it and she's like, all right, let's sell KC and threats cards. And she's all in pink and she's got a glitter pink megaphone. My favorite Bravo prop, the megaphone. Yeah.

And so she's basically the Valentina is going to be having a birthday coming up. And so Danielle is micromanaging. She's like, she's like, she's momadging. She's like the momager of the birthday party right now. She's like, okay, when you walk into the birthday party, what are you gonna do? You're gonna walk in, okay, you're gonna wait

for everyone and you're gonna say, oh my gosh, Sarah, hi. Valentina's like, but this not Sarah, Sarah's not even here. She's like, I know, just make up a name. Okay, it's called improv. All right. Yeah, then whoever that and the kids are so cute,

like holding hands and practicing. And she's like, I'm right. And now here she is. The part that got Valentina. And she's like, I always ask the kids what they want to do for their birthdays. This here, Valentina's into the blobby. And you know, although I always ask the kids what they want to do for their birthdays. They see a family to see this into Bobby. And you know, although I don't understand because really, she's got Bobby's, but they're

all naked. I'm not really sure what to say about that, but you know, she loves Bobby. Bobby's a life. Okay, Valentina, okay, so walk in. Let's try this from the top. Gonna walk in. All right. Now, tell us about an influential American painter.

Um, Mark Raskin was an American artist, known for his lot scale abstract paintings, born in Russia, Raskin immigrated with his family to the United States in the United States. Okay, okay. Save it for the big show. Save it for the big show. What is every little lady do

when they enter the Albert De Potti? And a cartwheel very good very good Hey, why doesn't this Bobby have a head could we get some closet heads for these Bobby's and she's kids Okay, this is very reminiscent of Henry Matisse who was a friend, Travis known for his vibrant colorful paintings and cut out collages Boarding Northern France Matisse studied law before us decided. Oh, was like, okay, okay, okay sweetheart, come on hold on save a specific party Yeah, they say no back what back your mom acute. This is a production because a lot of my childhood memories are not amazing because my parents got it to For me over the top parties of what my babies will remember Also, I was raised on satin island so so most of my birthdays were visiting the dump. So, then...

The best birthday I could remember is my parents took me out to trash barge and called it Carnival Cruise. We played a game where we pretended the big worms in Dune were going to eat us up, so we had to run off the biggest mound. One year we actually got to go to Staten Island Zoo. One year we actually went to Staten Island Zoo and looked at all the dead animals. That was fun.

And then one year we actually watched them bring the dead animals to the Staten Island dump. It was actually a very interesting mix of words. And one year we just went to Blockbuster Video. I had nothing to do with the, those things. Which is nice at the dump. Oh, so the kids get out of there. Well, first she's like, first the little one reds off, Valentina reds off, and then she's like, oh my god, I can't even take this. So she opens the

fridge and she pulls out a bottle of champagne and her saying, goes, is that wine? Cause it's like 10 in the morning or whatever. She's like, no, it's champagne. Ugh. Yeah. And then she's like, so what friends are coming to the apartment? And then Valentina's like, Ethan and Austin, and she goes, two boys, or two, or yeah, someone says two boys.

And she's like, what boys are coming to the apartment? She's out there on my boyfriend Nate's like there's no boyfriend's no no boyfriend's Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend And so she runs off and Nate's like so you wanted our kids to have your personality How do you feel now that they do? So she's like all right? We're pretty much set all set for the party. Balloons, cake, mouth, neck, ass, eyes are also divided, three and Louis, the Jenn Aiden and also Rachel and her Donnery, but you know, Jenn and Rachel got into it. And Teresa has to actually go be together for

Festluss party. So go help us. And in case you guys, when she said Festluss parties, in case you weren't convinced that there was a party by John Fessla, we then see Jennifer Fessla on the phone saying, I'm going to invite everyone over for brunch on Friday and it's gonna be sort of like a southern theme, like the South, you know, because nothing says the South like Jennifer Fessla. Nothing says making peace like Jennifer Fessler. Nothing says making peace like Jennifer Fessler. Nothing says Dixie Land like Jennifer Fessler. Look at my face. She totally makes this face.

She looks like crazy eyes. She like opens her eyes. She'll bake like a Disney villain and like so's her teeth while she smiles. Jennifer Fessler is a little creepy. I'm not going to lie. She's a little terrifying. Yeah, I'm liking her, but she's, I wouldn't fuck with her. I'm gonna say no right now, it's a warning to everybody on this show. Don't mess with her, so ruin your life. But what I do do is I do walk around my home and I go out of nowhere. Jennifer Fessler.

The Fessler. Jennifer Fessler. I love that we've got a Fessler and a Fuda. A Fessler and a Fuda and two different Jennifer's we've got a Fesla and a Fuda a Fesla and a Fuda and two different Jennifer's it's a lot Europe, I'm a I'm a booty. My name is Fesla. Fesla. Fesla and Fuda a new podcast So then we go to Rachel's house and She's gathering all the family in the kitchen and yes, I love this.

Yeah, and she's like, hey, how's everything going? What'd you do last night, and Jayden's like, yeah, well, last year me and my friends went to the shore and we had a speaker go in and she was, oh yeah, is that when you drank the vodka? Just let me tell you something. It doesn't come much sharper than me when it comes to that. Okay, doesn't come much sharper than me. it comes to that. Okay, doesn't come much sharper than me.

And then she tells me, of course I party down the jiffy straw. Okay, I love the weed out I once was. I was fist pumping, I was drinking all day. I was getting humped on the swings at the carnival. You know, all the things. We're in Cheetah, leopard, whatever you wanted. If you ever spin on the scrambler,

a scrambler that's actually in leopard print, a leopard print scrambler, that's what I did all night long. Get my leopard skirt pulled above my head by a guy named Joey of Frank. That's what she too. It's the sure. Right? But I don't need a 15 year old on the Jersey shawke in truck. No, no, no. So then her parents start coming and her grandmother, like she brings everybody in. So she's like, yeah, you know, I was raised in a very warm, loving, caring home, okay?

My parents would put me in my brother up as bowling pins and they'd just roll trash cans at us and yell, strike at each other. Very fun. The grandma's my favorite, of course. That's grandma's gonna be on the show because she gets out of the car, she goes, oh my God, it's so windy here. Oh my god. And so we meet this already Rachel's father

Anna like the weather what are you gonna pay for my cloth with this weather? So I gotta reach my cloth. I got every two it so windy outside What's going on so windy you gotta put on the wind when I when I come to town? Can't you tell someone to turn the wind off at the Jersey Shore? I come all the way down here for this for the wind. This you call fancy the winds. The wind beneath my wings might the wind beneath my hair. I don't need it here. And then her mom, she's like, her mom is named Lisa and she's played by Penny Marshall. Okay. And so she's like, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, he thinks that

That's all for like my mom is your typical Jewish mother overbearing tries to insert when she feels she needs to be inserted My personality type though. It's Taipei and that comes from my father And then the grandma's still going on about how windy it is And my grandmother has no filter and gr grandma goes, you've been good? I haven't seen you. You know what you do? You pick up, you push a button and you pick up the phone, you say hi, Nana, that's how you do it.

That's how you use a phone. You know, no matter how you, so wrong that you can't use a phone. She's like, Jayden, starting football season. Did he tell you, Nana? And she's like, I won't even stand by him because he's so tall. Like, I'm a whole, what the heck is this? She's like, I won't even stand by him because he's so tall like I'm a whole what the heck is this? She was yeah, you see my grandma. She doesn't give a single shit this woman listen to that talk calling a grandson

Tour like that. Have you ever heard it before? Have you ever seen have you ever seen a grandmother? Who's like I feel like I'm standing in the hole next to my grandson. She tells it like it is and she adds a hole to the story too. You know, you talk about platholes. She actually has literal platholes. I'm in a hole. I'm in a hole and I need to get my quaff done. You know, all right, baby Jessica. We'll call you.

We'll call you a hairdresser. All right. She doesn't give a single fuck this woman. Okay, she'll say you're tall. Okay, you know what her excuses? I'm old That's what she says. So then Rachel's brother Eric shows up and she's like, you know, we've always had a good relationship Besides from when I used to be the living shit out of him We were really into wrestling, you know a lot of trauma there

But you know, that's what happens. Good-hearted person pussy. Oh big pussy, but a good-hearted pussy But the good-hearted calling it now. It's the new Vito and Lauren the brother and his wife new Vito and Lauren look closely I was like oh my god they're just like casting for new Vito and Lauren okay so like can we get Vito and Lauren but with the personality so nice return so Rachel's like we need a bigger table because we're gonna have a bigger family because we're thinking of having another one right food. I mean, he's like, I don't know. Do we need another? She's like, oh, come on. Johnny Jaden has such a special relationship. They've been through so much. John has sole custody because his mom had stuff to work out or what up drugs. So,

there's, you know, this is a job that wants to protect them a bit, which I totally understand. It's like, this is like when you meet somebody and they tell you too much too soon, you know, except it's encapsulated into a scene. Exactly. So then Lisa's like, so how is Teresa's housewoman and Rachel says, oh, this one woman, Jennifer Aiden, she said I had a shit nose job and Lisa's like, I can't even believe that someone would say that. Who would do that? I don't give give a fuck like she's trash on the inside So I don't even fucking care. She's like a dead person on the inside mother fucker and the mom's like how did it that bad She's like screaming calling me a fucking idiot. Can you believe that shit? No, I love how she's calling she's telling someone no class the kids are just sitting there looking at shit

Yeah, fuck that slut, huh? Because yeah, she called me an idiot. And then Nana goes, don't ever use that word in front of me. And Lisa goes, idiot. She's a beginning. She's, no, no, no, no, she's an idiot, not getting. Oh, you're hearing it. You know, they said I got a prescription on you

to hear her get. Yeah, I thought she said, get me. Rachel goes, oh God, okay, but fucking, but fucking idiot. It's okay, I guess. This is this woman. No shit to give. Okay.

No shits. So, now we go to Melissa and Antonia. So, time-old, Robert tradition, learning how to drive. You know, it's classic. Oh my God. So, Antonia has to learn how to drive. And what better way to teach your child how to drive safely

than to load them into a Mack truck of a Cadillac Escalade and send them down on the cradid suburban street? It's called the parents do. It's called the parents do. It's called the parents do. It's called the parents do. It's called the parents do.

It's called the parents do. That's what parents do. And they, my sister has two daughters. And this is, she did not, I was like, please do not get her a huge truck. She said, no, I want her to, because if she gets in an accident, I want her to be protected. Like what about the fucking people she hits? She could kill 20 families in one of these cars, you know?

What about the five lanes? She'll be driving across as she tries to figure out how to operate a spaceship. Okay. It's called like, start them on, like, you know, we got training wheels for bicycles. So start them on a training wheel for a car, a Honda Civic, a Subaru Impresa. Come on guys, yeah, I'm making that for you. One of those red, one of those red fisher price things

with the yellow tops that you just use your feet with. Come on, those are the names, I can't even drive it, I'm like, do you scared to drive a desk lid? And you know, some parents, like when they teach you to drive, they're like, okay, here's how to parallel park. This is really important to know because sometimes you have to street park even when you drive an escalate, you know, so they teach you that stuff.

Then Melissa's like, you know, it's really important getting through a Starbucks drive through with the car this big. Let's start there. Yeah, let's take this giant car into a narrow alley of the cement walls. Good luck. Oh my God, I still hate drive-through driving. It's so hard.

I'm like, I'm going to hit this. I'm going to hit this. And then you do the inevitable. Like, I have to get closer to the window because I don't want them to have to reach out too far. And then you see it. They put the two pylons right in front of the window and you just see all the scrapes on it from the other cars.

It just seems so sadistic. You know what's the worst? Have you ever gone to that drive-through in LA in West Hollywood that McDonald's that's on Sunset and Crescent Heights? Where there's like that tunnel. And it's just like, it's like, it's like some statistics squid game. It's like, get through that tunnel, get to the drive-through without scratching your car

and you can remain alive. It's like, it is the scariest to drive through. It's just a weirdis underground tunnel thing. It is bizarre. It really, and that's actually my favorite McDonald's because that's the one that you can see from the windows of the crunch fitness from all of the workout elliptical trainers. You're doing the elliptical and you're staring

right at a McDonald's. Fuckin' come on. Seriously, now that anyone who wants to really have an adrenaline surge while they're visiting LA, encourage you to go to that McDonald's drive-through. Yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah, it's terrifying. Commissions, here comes one right now. If you're a hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty. And now more than ever, it's really important to hire the right people faster and more efficiently because you got to keep the overall cost down.

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I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving and it's better for the planet. And it's meat. Plant meat. Correct. So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill, grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today. Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store. Grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. So this is the standard basic mom, because it's always the basic people who do it, right? It's never someone interesting and fun.

It's like Melissa, it's Kyle Richards. It's who else have we seen do this? No one from Rooney, I feel like we deserved, I feel like we deserved a Ramona and every scene or a day. Well that would not have been a basic. No, I feel like if it were a Roni it would have been Alex You know or someone like that. It would be bar shop if it were on Roni I could just imagine Victoria learning to drive and countless little angels like smoking a cigarette in the past and your seat Just not paying attention. Would you believe it? The things your father said to me. Oh, I mean, it's ridiculous

I mean here I am a wonderful mother. I make tacos on Tuesday occasionally. And what does he do? Nothing. And the car's like just up on the side of the rail. It's victorious. Driving through bushes and the land just looking at the window, talking about herself. Yeah.

So when they give you the teaching your kid how to drive scene, you know your basic. Okay. So it's Melissa. So she's like, oh my God, look at us. Okay, I want to what I, Grande, I, it's white chocolate mocha. And I don't know why that bother me. I think it's just Melissa bothers me. That's it. I admit it. Okay. And did you notice that that answer what her name? And we have a name for the order. She goes Julia.

Julia. Yeah. And then Tony, your role is her eyes because you know Melissa is on display on display. On display guys. Okay. She doesn't want the Starbucks workers going crazy for her. Don't want the Starbucks workers to know that Melissa Gorgas there. So instead use the name of the last remaining a list female movie star Julia Roberts. So Melissa's like, okay, now we need to have a very serious conversation. You know, I went to Trees party and squeezed out

some air tears in the bathroom. And daddy didn't come with me. And I know you see Instagram, what goes on with daddy and his sister has nothing to do with you. And I don't want you to hold a grudge over Zia Teresa. Okay, we got that all on camera. I'm here for the children. She goes, Joe and I always said, no matter what happens with the adults, we'd keep the kids out of it

unless they were useful props for us. So then Antonia's like, well, we don't get involved in your guy's stuff. Like, we don't like, we don't talk about it. Like, it's like, we just see, we do what we always do in This family avoid the real issues. Oh God good. I'm so glad to hear you say that you know make out with no one's around And that too

So Melissa's like she doesn't want them to be like my mom's the best my mom's the best because that's what I get You know, and I don't want that I don't want to do that some my children make them little minions of me and Joe So she's like and also you got to be close to your brothers forever because without family You're nothing family is everything says every fucking family that treats each other like shit and breaks up and refuses Every family is like that Who's just like this. Family is everything. And that means your brothers, that means your father, that means your mother, that means your aunts,

that means that other aunts that we've never met, but we think maybe out there based off of nothing. All of them. So Melania Tree here in the city. Melania Tree in the city. And their Melania is like, I love this city. I run this city. She goes into a bodegand sits in the salabar. I love this city. What are we in this city tonight?

Teresa looks like a cinnamon pop tart that has just been left in the toaster. Teresa, what are you doing to yourself? You look crazy. Please stop. So she looks terrifying. And so there is a bridal store and the very excited brides sales people, more than on subrides, but the bridal gowns sales people. They could.

They sell, they like it. Would you like a bride? They're the most people they could they sell they like it would you like a bride? So But that imping is on human trafficking which is not funny at all so we don't not hilarious Not hilarious My first one how could you make a joke about that in the middle of your Jersey recap? So so Teresa's like my first wedding was Shakespeare love thing because that movie was out at the time. I don't know Was that recent? I mean Jesus looking at you. I had thought you to base it on doonies. Okay, goonies playing in the theater

Like a kid cat commercial. Give me a break. Give me a break. Give me a piece of that kid cat But I was so stressed out doing everything for that one putting toothpicks to all the tiny winners. Uh, toasting all the toast is, you know, stealing all the flowers from the front of the library. It was hard, but now I got help. So I love the idea of Gweneth Palchow learning that her Oscar winning role was the basis of three digitisesis first letting to Giu-Ciu-Giu-Dais. Like, she's like, oh, oh. I love that part in Shakespeare and

love when Gwyneth pulls out like a stack of cash to pay for a couch. Yeah, I love that. I loved that part in Shakespeare and love when one of the actors just went up to Judy Densh and flipped her table. I love when Gwyneth, I love when Gwyneth almost murdered someone for saying pay attention. I loved the part in Shakespeare in Love when Judy Densh walked up to Ben Affleck and said, you're my father. You're my father. So I just keep writing her tan. I'm not saying anything about the tan. My notes just say over and over again, her tan. So then Teresa's like, yeah, well, I already picked up my wedding dress, but I wanted to be a surprise and like, I want it to be a surprise and like I want everyone to like gas like Yeah, I want everyone to gas because this year's theme is Titanic

So it's like a tribute to the end of that movie so Teresa Everybody to be grounded in my dad Yeah, wait if Shakespeare in love was the movie that was out like what, what was the movie? Was it like top was it top gun Maverick for 2022? Is that what her inspiration is? Okay, everyone, we're gonna fly some planes and then we're gonna, we're gonna drop a bomb somewhere and then the movie's gonna be over. It's like Avatar to Deway and O'Wattas. We had to watch us. I'm gonna be dressed in blue. She's just trying to get her hair as tall as an actual avatar. My inspiration this year is as a similar surprisingly, odd house movie, no madland. Everyone just shows up in vans.

Everything everywhere is all it wants today. That's just multiple Theresa's. It actually could be the screaming banshee's of whatever it is. Because that is, you know, my friend was talking about that this morning. Is that just a show about people who decide to stop being, I mean, a movie about people who stop being friends? No, I don't know what it's about. I'd just be screaming banshee's could be the name of this show, you know?

Ha. Like a, ha. Ha. Banshee's. See, I'm, I'm all for, I'm all for like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Because she's already picked out her wedding dress, but wants it to be a secret. She's still gonna go the wedding dress store

But put on another wedding dress. I'm guessing this is the reception dress and it's see-through and It's real cute actually. It's real pretty and tacky as hell, you know, because it's treesa And so then the gray gay comes and it's like hey Like oh my god, hey me handsome Yeah, cuz I think what this, I think this is ultimately, is it a veil fitting maybe? It's a veil, it's like the veil train. I think it's like the veil train that like,

I think it was like three blocks long once it actually gets done. But it's like, I know you wanted it to say love, love, love. So I've got three different drawings that say love, love, love. Okay, and here's my Spices and everything it's like oh tree so you didn't have to bring seasonings this is For your veil not for real. We're not Okay So much you go oh, and you know why it doesn't have to be a blah blah blah blah because I came up with another word right now

You ready? Oh right, all right. Meet Buzz on Spatoli, right? All right. Boobies. But she actually wants to use an Italian saying that I'm going to butcher, Siampray, and D'Yame, or something like that, which means always together,

and it's on her parents' mausoleum, which is really sweet. And so Molliam is like, oh, don't make me cry. So then, Treesa's getting emotional, and then she's like, can you believe that mommy's getting married? I was like, I'm sure she can, because it's all you've talked about for two years.

It's literally every day. Meena can I? And they're like, yeah ma, yeah ma. And she's like, yeah, I guess Malania's like, it really does feel like it's been a year been with him for a long time, ma. She's like, yeah, one of my daughters, Malania took it the hottest when Jo Leppa.

Malania's definitely shining. Like she's happing, she's a cell in a school. It's a testament about how Louis Rubin won off on her. So that's the thing. So then Teresa's like, yeah, we've been together two years. Can you believe it? My parents were together for two months. Can you believe it my parents were to get up from too much? Yeah, and then G.O.s. like impersonating her or something and Teresa's like hey, so did you guys talk to Zia slut?

I'm sorry. I meant Zia Melissa Yeah, and she is like any of you climb far enough up to pull to get to toss you in She is like yeah, I just kind of said high and buy that's it and she goes, oh, that makes me sad that you had to talk to her Along I was like, hello, it's been like a year since I've seen them and The producer asked Gea wouldn't last time is she felt united with her family It's like um right before the way like we were we were like at their storehouse all the time I I don't know what changed, really, Gia? You know, you just said it.

You literally just said it. Everything was fine before Louis. It's like saying, yeah, we used to have this beautiful house right before the earthquake, but I don't know what changed. Not to be insensitive to earthquake people, but like either way or Louis survivors. You know what I mean? Because neither can be easy. But um, Melania's like, uh, oh my, he should be walking you down the aisle.

And she is like, well, she was like two seconds from ats. Get him. And now we don't even doubt they're even coming. And she's like, I think he's coming. But I'll bring down. And Mulani goes, if he doesn't come to your wedding, then it's wrapped. It's over with never speaking to you again. So that's, guess we know where that's gonna go.

So now that I like how they just did these two scenes right in the road like The mom telling the kid this is not about you and then the mom being like yes Oh, you see slut face up. Yeah, that was intense. I was thinking that too like that was not by accident That was a compare and contrast and it really is just because you know Melissa I feel like I feel like Melissa's problem. If she has to say something to the kids like, none of this is about you. Obviously they're talking about it in front of the kids too. But Melissa's just smarter. She knows to not be like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pretend like I'm not bringing the kids to this on TV

and the Teresa every single time. I'm saying, oh my God, how many ones in Melissa haven't I asked for anybody to count? So now we go to a restaurant. It may have been rails. It sort of looked like rails. And Jennifer Aiden meets up with Melissa. And she's like, hey, baby, guess what? I graduated from a beauty.

And she's like, I never thought I'd say this, but Melissa and I are good finally. How am I actually excited? Maybe start a friendship, baby? This is gonna end in disaster. No, it's nothing less. Such is Melissa. It's been that five years. Finally, I get to go and lunch with Melissa. And Melissa's like, yeah, that's a really long time not to like someone She's I never did not like you. We just had some fixing

And then we see a clip of them fighting and Jennifer breaking the glass on the table and trying to use it as a shank It's it's a really impressive montage like it's a very violent montage I feel like I never think of Melissa being like in a lot of fights But actually she's been in a lot of fights, but actually she's been in a lot of really aggressive fights with Jennifer. Like they really go at it, like a lot of stomping and breaking glass and things being thrown, like metal things and glass things,

like hard surfaces, hard textures, you know? And then Jennifer always breaks everything down into such a crazy log line. She goes, it's not that I did not, I just didn't think you wanted to have a baby. Yeah. So she's like, she's like the early drafts of Jessica Robert. Robert, you know, it's like, I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that's this way. It was like, hmm, we'll be a good line for Jessica. Robert, how about I'm not bad. I just didn't think you

wanted to have a baby. No, it's not that I didn't like you, it's just that we had a little bit of friction. No, it's not working. And she's like, well, you know, speaking of babies, Bill would have had more, but he didn't really help me anyways, as far as being a cop here. We don't fight about the affair anymore anyway, we fight about the kids, that's why. Because it's like like he's my boss And I'm in charge of the kids and if he doesn't do like the job. I'm doing that's my fault

And then when I get so when I call Jen Fester, it was to take her expertise back there It's like well my god Jen like Jesus Christ Call it down Melissa barely likes you. I can't believe she's still sitting here And she immediately just starts shit talking everyone you know you in her. I can't believe she's still sitting here. And she immediately just starts shit talking everyone, you know, even her husband. Who kind of deserves it? Yeah, and then she goes, you know, in that conversation with Jennifer Fesla, we'd gotten on to Margaret, but like with Margaret, she always has an issue with me. I don't know why, Mr. So Melissa's like, well, I don't think that she gives you as much of a pass as she

gives everyone else. And she's, and Jen's like, I mean, don't preach that you're holier than now. And then like, you're so involved, but you got to friends like what? And most of the time, what do you mean friends like what? Or just Laura, Siri, Tanya, I'm like, I don't know if Marjol's a go through friends like what? Or she just picks Jitty friends, I think. You, yeah, and you also can't count.

You can count Laura, right? Cause that was her legit friend, Sikki, you can't count. They didn't really know each other. That was ridiculous. And she honestly hated Sikki for good reasons, immediately when she found out who Sikki's ass was. And then Danielle stop, really?

You're gonna hold Danielle stop again. So that was her trying to be nice to a crazy person Like she's trying to do with you and that's a mistake. She's making at least Margaret has a thing that people can change You know Margaret has friends to lose by the way Jennifer She came into the show with no friends. She has like that. She she became friends with Teresa And then she just says ridden Teresa's co-tails. She's like protected by Teresa But Jennifer had no friends coming into the show. She's never once been like,

oh, here's my best friend from so and so. She can see her sister, see her brother, love the brother, since she's fine, you know? But like, it's like, you gotta make friends to lose friends, okay? Can we eat this style? Yeah. So, Jen's like, yeah, you superior being,

and then she had no friends, it's a pattern. Amalus is like, I don't know about that. She's like, yes, I do. Listen, when I was talking to that girl, Laura, she said that Margaret encouraged you to leave Joe. That's, and then we get now we start, we get the little guy on the machine going crazy. Exactly.

Yeah. You're right. Exactly. Yeah. They're like, you're out. You're out. Rough friends. So then, Jen, it's a bus is like, no, she doesn't. And Jen says, so this isn't true. Margaret never said you should be with a ball player. Like, why?

Why? She talked like she's from like, on the waterfront or something like that. She's like, that's what I'm saying. That's her all this. She said, she said you got to go with a ball player. Okay. She really does. She talks like she's in like a 30s gangster movie all the time. It cracks me up. Yes, she said she should be with a ball player. And Melissa's like, well, she said the word ball player.

And I told Joe that. And she goes, but it was one we were going through a bad time and then we see that clip of them in the van fighting because Melissa walked out Yeah, Melissa was watching the van with that Joe and she also wanted a job and Joe's like you don't even care about me You know what they're doing like these red carpets like I don't even mad anymore like I mean come on You know how many times I've had to come on my own hand this week ridiculous and she's like yeah we were arguing a lot and that was like you know that was not like that was just like my girlfriend trying to flatter me and saying like you know you can stand on your own no matter what happened Jennifer's like what kind of friend encourages you to break up with their husband by going to neck a bar play it somewhere who's gonna say that baby? So stupid. She says no, she never encouraged it. She says come on You need to be careful with her. She could be dangerous. I think you're literally going from person to person on this cast

To tell them the march is dangerous You're so transparent, but also kind of hilarious at this point I really like that it's just they just throw Jen in with everybody. It's like, are you jealous? She was Jen today, whether you like it or not. You know, just to see how they all deal with it. Yeah, she's hilarious. So now we got a Jennifer Fezler's house, and she's very stressed.

Okay, I'm not, I'm sorry, I'm doing a Margaret voice, but Jen of Fezler, Jennifer Fezler's down here. Margaret's up here. Jen of Fezler's down here, And I'm not good with anything domestic. I'm not a good cook. I'm not a good decorator. That's just should I pay for it. I pay for it.

I pay for it. Yeah, that's right guys, show my teeth. I pay for it. But I feel like every party, I've been to with these women. It's filled with venom. Okay, so I'm hoping that they come to my house, the house that Jeff Fesla built,

and realize that parties is about eating, and drinking, and laughing. Like, well, that's not what reality is about Jennifer Fessler, so you better get with the program quickly. If all the new cast are doing that, as if they haven't watched every episode of this show and had to audition for months and months and months,

they're like, women fighting? This is just, I can't take this. So then Marge arrives, of course, and she's like, oh my gosh, it's me, my couch is gonna be out. My couch is gonna be out. I show my couch, camera person. Oh my god. So she comes out.

And Marge, you look adorable. You look adorable right now with that cast. That's sure to be coming off probably the next day or so, right? Every single person that comes in, Festler's like, look at you, You're so cute. Look how adorable you are. You are the cutest thing I've ever seen in my god damn life. Is this a dress you're wearing?

I have never in my life. Look at him. He's licking his wiener. I can't look at your dress. It's annoying. It's annoying how cutie is. She's going to start throwing coupsballs at people. She's basically turning into Rosie O'Donnell show so I was just thinking about her earlier because we because I said that girls mom looks like Penny Marshall and

Rosie O'Donnell used to do Sanctuary and I'm a pain in my national and Here it is. You just brought it up again. Crazy. Well you know how it's brought it up? Margaret brought it up. She's talking about you with ball players, okay? Ball players used to be my playground. Commissions. Here comes one right now.

Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writer's room. Each episode, members of the writer's room, and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2 is starting June 22nd on Max and listen to end just like that the writers room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. So uh, uh, some are going to say, guess what? Guess what? I have to have surgery. And then, yeah, roll the some are gonna say, guess what? Guess what?

I have to have surgery. And then, yeah, roll the flashback at the hot doctor. So the hot doctor's like, well, this is in the surgical rub. Oh, it's in the surgical rub? Okay, how about this? Can you surgically remove the whale that has brought all this terrible stuff into my life right now? I'm in surgery, that was huge.

Call back to the whale, then you go in. She's like, I am beyond devastated. He said, you can keep the cast on and it'll grow out deformed. Are you going to surgery? Now listen, I go into the knife to look more glamorous. Okay, and this is not one of those times, which is why I'm getting a 22-year-old hand attached and possibly a tiny little boob job on the hand.

So it's going to be two tiny little boob on there. It's going gonna gorgeous. I am, I saw a hit at the plan. I'm gonna have Joan Rivers arm surgically attached to my arm so we should always be with me forever. Okay, that was just a joke. It was for you Joan. It was literally a bit of you on me for you.

Okay, get it, it's a joke. All right, hey, your home is so nice. It's like a hamptons, yeah. Okay, this is beautiful, I love it. Do you realize you bring a bunch of shit boxes into this place? It's too gorgeous for us. Okay, what are you doing with this?

This is ridiculous, Jennifer Fezla. So Melissa comes in and Fezla's like, Melissa, what are you wearing? You look adorable. I have never had anybody seen anyone as gorgeous as Melissa right here, right now. Am I right? She always looks over her shoulder like she's

talking to somebody but nobody's there. She's so weirdo. And Mel's like, oh yeah, well guess what, I had a really nice bottle of champagne to bring you, but I left it on my counter. And then Bessar's like, oh, okay, go back. Go back. We can listen. This isn't a live show. We can start it from the top. Go back and get it, okay? Go back. All right. All right. Listen, we're gonna have a comfortable brunch as opposed the uncomfortable house swamming that was happening at Teresa's house. And I don't like that Jennifer was going after you, Marge,

because she's been, but I have to say though, she's been nothing but nice to me so far, at least so far. Because before she called me and asked me to trash my dear friend, I was really getting really enjoying getting to know Jennifer Aiden. And at this point, she has slept with my husband, Jeff Fesla. And I'm ready to give her another chance. So Melissa's like, well, I did go to lunch with Jennifer. And she said, Mark, Mark Ritt that she thinks you're picking on her.

And then I have to watch my back with you. And Fesla's like, oh, you have to watch it back with Maul With Margaret. She's like, yeah, a Margaret is like, you know what, what is she even talking about? She goes, yeah, she said that you are telling people that I should leave Joe for a ball player. And she goes, ah, I said, do you remember what I said to you? I said that if J though, because be with A-Broad, then you could be with God knows who. I mean, how many times did I say that? So if I had to twist these things, like I'm saying bad things. And by the way, if I was around Bill when he was sticking his stick in to someone else,

I would have said to her, leave that fucking guy, take all of his money and be and bank and be with somebody else. You know why? Because that's what real friends do. Okay. I agree. Agreed. Okay, I agreed agreed. I'll but also hilarious that Margaret's metaphor is like well if J. Lo can get a rod then you can definitely get anyone as if like J. Lo's a piece of shit like some garbage like it's like oh well someone has ugly and as uninteresting as J. Lo could land a baseball player match They have to sign her name Melissa has to sign her name Julia on cops so people don't come swarm her car.

Okay. Yeah, it's just a funny, um, an analogy. Huh. What? Please, I need a mask. Also, trying to lift your friend up, you know. She's like, a J-Lo can do it. So can you, be free.

But also, I don't think it's, you always tell your friends to just get a divorce. That's like last resort. I think you're, she's just trying to build a right. Yeah, of course. She's just saying, like, listen, listen, you should know what he's got because you could get anyone right now and you should be so lucky to have you. That's all it was. Yeah. You could get a rod, which is now going to forever. And Jennifer is going to say it so many times. I guarantee you online people are going to say Margaret told Melissa that she should leave Joe for a ball player.

She could go with a ball player. So then Festler's like, listen, I feel like you can't fight if there's fried chicken and waffles, especially the kind that's provided to you by a Jewish lady from the North. So then Rachel Fudder arrives andessler sees her because I can't. I can't. I can. Welcome to the Fessler show. Our next guest, our next guest is a skinny girl

with black hair who has married to a man with a strange beard. Please welcome Rachel Fessler. I can't, I can't. Rachel Fuda. Anybody, anybody, I have a question for anybody who's listening. Has anyone ever seen anybody ask you as Rachel Rachel Rachel

Fooda unbelievable. Get your cute face in here. Get that your jaw. I can I'm actually annoyed by you right now because you're so adorable get in here Get in. So then to Loris comes you know people start arriving dead gale comms and she's not out with the ladies yet and Rachel's like, you know, I'm going to Valentina's birthday but I don't think everyone's invited and Marge is like, you know, I understand that, you know, what are you gonna do? But listen, she's not like her Instagram

and I'll say, that's a good thing because when I looked at her Instagram, I said, oh, you know what, a ball player would not want her. There, I said it, I said it, that's it. And then we see her Instagram and it really is cringe. It's like pure cringe. It's bad. And so Danielle comes to the table and she's like,

hi everyone. So I said, oh my god, I got this party coming up for a hersing for Valentina's entrance. So I shoot a can off behind her. It's hilarious. It's an actual can with a cannonball. So I have to aim it, make sure it goes right through the skylight. Otherwise, I got to pay extra money, okay?

It's gonna be great. And they've just all been talking about how extra she is. So they're like, oh wow, it's just, why are you all looking to be like, like, whoa, like this is how we do things, all right? I shoot off a cannon. That's just how we do it. I'm listening to like,

well, I see you on Instagram telling your daughter to sing. It's almost like you're a little stage mom. It's so... They don't like it. I don't think anyone likes her. Yeah. And Daniel's like, a little stage mom, a little. I'm a big stage mom.

That's what I am. So then Jackie comes in with new hair and there's like dramatic music because she's the only seats left or down by Danielle. And so she's like, I guess I'll sit down there and Danielle goes, well I'd say sit by me girl, but I don't want you to have to be in the sun

and Jackie goes, oh yes, you're right, thank you. I can go down there and sit in the sun by you he goes oh yes you're right thank you I can go down there sitting the sun by you right Jennifer Bethley great and Danielle's like oh thank you son thank you son so much so Melissa's asking Danielle if she's talked to her brother yet and Danielle's like no it's been two years so Rachel's like so what happened and she's like, no, it's been two years. So Rachel's like, so what happened? And she's like, well, I had blocked him on social media because he was making fun of me. And he lost his mind. And he said, I want you out of the wedding. And then that was it.

That was it. Nothing else happened. And there was nothing had to do with the fact that I was trying to insert myself into their wedding planning. And I called this like a bitch. Nothing about that. She just leaves that all out. And Rachel's like, I mean, I think it's a little sketchy sketch that something so silly

would break up a family. And Dolores is like, this is this the new generation? What rips a family apart is Instagram? Dolores just discussed it. She just comes up. Here's a problem with Instagram. Nobody rides anywhere with anybody else. So you don't know who to leave with.

Here's the problem with Instagram. You get on it and you sit down on your sofa. You don't even walk from the kitchen to the living room to the kitchen. You just stay where you are. You don't learn things that way. So Danielle's like, you know what? At a certain point, you just have to block, you know?

Just have to block you and you're hot and you gotta focus on other stuff. That's what you got to do like Probably not worth it to do that, but okay you do you so then to reset arrives and we get fessler again I mean The cutest thing I have literally ever seen. I don't even know why there's a Paris fashion week when we just have the doorway to my home and you walking through it. So they start so Teresa, you know, yeah, she's like, hey, and Fazzler's like, okay, you know what, Teresa, we can all move down to the sun. I don't watch such a gorgeous human being Ted sitting in the sun. Am I right? Are you still anybody this gorgeous? I don't want the sun touching this skin

You look 20 you look 25 the way son can we get the sun removed remove that? She's like no, it's okay. I like being in the sun. So um we know It's like it's a sign is what simple tans are made of We know you look like Obedo be jerky these days, so Melissa asked Delores like what's going on in terms of like like how she doing like where she would Jennifer eight in these days and Delores like you know what I don't know what to say anymore. I just want peace. I don't want to fight

I'm very concerned about Instagram now. That's what I'm worried about, really. I'm gonna look so how about you, Rachel? She was, well, the last time I saw Jennifer, she was screaming on my face and calling me an idiot. I mean, she was trying to sway me to be a friend. And then she had lunch with Melissa and talked about me the whole time.

So that's what she's dealing with here. And Melissa's like, well, yeah, she was trying to warn me that Margaret's not my friend. She's, you think things are done, things things have never done with her never done. Okay Well, you know sometimes people need a little bit more time to get over things like for me I need like never ending time, you know, so Margaret's like well, she's a fucking asshole That's what I got she's an asshole and so of course Jennifer walked in right then They've always edited to make it look like they're just walking

in right when people talk and shit. So she's like, Hi guys, happy busy, I was like, what everyone? Like, hi, hi, hi, hi. I don't know, just got to every awkward look on the lady's faces, except Teresa is like, ah, so she comes in and festers like,

oh my God, it's Jen everybody. What a beauty, am I right? I'm just gonna keep that one short. Now that Jen is here, now that Jen is here, I want to make a toast. Okay, I just want to say thank you for coming. I'm just like, yeah, how much beautiful. And she's like, uh, thank you. And Jen goes, I'm not personally want to brag, but it's not for me, you know, I don't

brag, but thank you very much Oh, I'm tackling us. Oh, what have you met Jen? Because then I'll brag me Jen me Jen Listen, I don't brag about things baby. I just explain you know explaining. It's just I'm getting the facts That's all and Mara was explaining and bragging a different you know, there's two different things Okay, and I'm serious because now I got a cast. I'm gonna be I'm about to be defiant Okay, so I'm not I'm not, you know, there's two different things, okay? And I'm serious because now I got a cast, I'm gonna be, I'm about to be deformed, okay? So I'm not, I'm not taking any bullshit today. Yeah, you're basically, you're basically starting a fight

with a guy from Mask right now, okay? So have fun with that. And Jen's like, no, just saying about my back, I said I have 16 back, this is not bragging, it's explaining. And Martin's like, it's, it's bragging and explaining at the same time. And Jack is like, oh, it's backing and explaining. It's the same time. And Jack is like, oh, by the way, I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was so glad not to be seated next to Danielle. I'm just glad that I can eat where it doesn't smell like a hamper. And Teresa's like, I know what you was trying to say, you know, you was trying to say, if you got $40 million, you don't talk about it, right, Jen? Like Jackie down there, right? They're all trying to get in there a little dixity, Jen.

Oh, that's right. I forgot the whole thing how mad they were. That Jackie didn't talk about her money. So then Jen, she's like, No, it's all perspective. Everyone's gonna receive it differently, whether they like you or not, baby. Some markets like, listen, I don't think,

I don't think whether they like you or not. Okay, it has anything to do with it. I think it's about don't think whether they like you or not. Okay. Has anybody do it? I think it's about having another perspective and nothing self-centred. Because it's not about being self-centred. And she's, okay, you know what? If I can give you some advice, you would take my advice, right? And she's, I would definitely listen. And my opinion would be swaying to your advice.

But I'm like, I don't actually don't know what they're even talking about anymore. But they're sort of gone out each other. She's just saying, it's all perspective. So if someone's gonna receive me differently whether they like me or not, right? And Marge is like, no, you're self-centered. And Trees is like, no, no, Jen, what she's saying is, since we're friends, if I tell you something,

I like to give you advice, you're gonna take my advice. Meaning like, but if Margaret, you don't like her, you're gonna be automatically offended by Mark. And so, Jen's like, well, I guess if you're advised, Swade me and Mark, it goes, okay, I understand that. But then why are you trying to change my good friend's opinions? Of me, it's just, who? It's like Melissa, you said she has to watch her back

and I'm not a good friend. That's not opinion better. Okay, and then why are you talking about me after we made up? That's what I want to know and you're talking about me to Jen Fezler. You're trash rocking me to Melissa She was like I was just telling Jen Fezler my experience That's all what are you gonna do get mad at everyone who leaves you a young review? You don't have to go talk you know that experiences all over the place again You're telling me what to talk about how can talk about whatever I want That's why you don't have genuine relationships.

Only with Teresa. Oh, really? Only with Teresa? And then Danielle's like, well, I have a friendship with her now. Thank you, Danielle, Pabre. Thank you. That's someone who would never run off with a ball player. Oh, a genuine friendship.

Right. Very good. Well, I mean, there's no. Yeah, it's new. It's new. Well, I have to say. Oh oh yeah, Danielle says, I have to say you're called me and you gave me a history and your thoughts. What's this natural? You know, that's a natural thing to do. And Marta says, oh, it's a natural thing to do. Really?

Okay, did I call you? Okay, Ms. Nature's channel, Ms. National Geographic. Did I call you and give you a history? Did I? Did I call you? Lady with the pointing nose, did I call you? Anybody? Anybody? Hey Margaret, just because you didn't do it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do I think I may have gotten lost in my double leg this day So Jennifer Fest is like okay if you're talking badly about someone you're trash talking someone I was giving giving my perspective, a historical perspective, that's all, baby. Okay, but that was your perspective, but Mars didn't say one bad thing about you. Never, in all the years I've known Mars,

she's never told me about a girl named Jennifer. So I'm like, oh, okay, Marcus never shit talked Jennifer. I'm calling bullshit on that one. So, Jen's like, she goes, she hasn't said one bad thing about you, Jen, and Jen goes, Well, I didn't do anything to her. She was the one that did something to me.

Don't even do that. Okay, you were not self-reflective. This is my agenda this season. You're not self-reflective. It's not comparable. You know what? You and I have two different opinions about what happened last year. Yeah. Yeah, but what happened last year. Yeah

Yeah, but we dropped last year when we decided to move forward and you can't move forward. I can move forward All right, how come every time you get into your car you back it up into a wall because you can't go forward. Okay, you're super slut Because I'm talking about history to that wild tin hey She doesn't need the fucking history. Okay, do you need a history of me in Jennifer? I have to tell you something Okay, you think she's going to fucking ever love you more than she loves me. You're a fucking idiot. Jennifer's mind And Jennifer's you are fine. You're the fucking 88 It's my favorite Gen fight you are and so Rachel's like I am not understanding how it got to this point You're not because last week you were screaming in a backyard of a In front of a bunch of people you have no idea who they are so come on

Yeah, it was at the house from the party for Teresa which as we all know was based off of the film the thin red line so you know so film the thin red line. So, you know, so, uh, it's like, so Jen's like, she's like, I was extending an Alec branch. She's someone who's new. I'm like, why do you have to extend an olive branch to someone who's new if you're not even in a fight with them? So, Margaret's like, so they're squabbling. They're going at it really bad right now, right? Because usually, Marge is like, I'll fuck off you, Eddie, and then it's kind of ends. But she's not backing down this time. So now they're just screaming at each other. And Marge says, let me tell you something.

You don't win friendships. You don't win friendships. You don't win friendships. And Jen's screaming over. And she's going, I say what? I say who? I say win. And Marge is like, you don't win friendships

by trying to turn people against each other. I say why? I say how? by trying to turn people against each other. I say why? I say how? So then, um, and so then, Jen's like, I don't give a fuck about your stupid idiot. You know what, you don't have any fucking friends,

your stupid fucking asshole. It's because- Yeah, but, you know what? I have a family which is something you'll never fucking know what it's like, baby. And she goes, oh yeah? Well, I'll tell you what I have that you don't fucking have a good marriage a stupid bit But they've officially broken Mars, okay, they have I'm a list is like

This is like for as many times as I've seen Jennifer and Margaret fight I Am that's seen Jennifer and Margaret fight, I am shook. That was for you, Kyle. You taught me how to use old slang. I am shook right now. This is not on fleek. So then Melissa, I mean, when she says that and then they show the clips, I'm dying.

Marge is like, I'm like, go ahead with the ellipse. It looked like a monkey's asshole. And then Jennifer's saying, Well, you fuck someone, mother fuck someone for 15 years It's like oh wow So Jen's like yes, I'm fucking jealous. I'm like jealous of what you're fucking happy family No, you encourage people to leave their husbands That's like okay. Okay. Okay. All right. I've run out of Kirsch Balls

This show is about to come to an end for this brunch, okay? So then she's screaming. She's like, guys, stop. Hey, hey, hey, I'm Jen Fence. I said y'all look adorable. And Jen's like, oh, leave your husband Melissa. Leave him Melissa. That's me being mad. Leave him leaving for a ball player. Go with a ball player. Go with a ball player. And so, Festlis, like, this is not Teresa's house. I actually have neighbors. Do you want to stand that and Teresa goes,

yeah, I know, cause I actually, I have six acres. How many acres do you have? Teresa takes it like she's being attacked, which is not what happened. And she goes, not six. And she gets mine, mine. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I was explaining. So Jen's like, you think I'm gonna go sit here Not six, it's just mine, mine. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Telling them like she's like I'll be she's not It's like you three dearly laundry in her face. She's throwing dirty laundry in her face

I ain't tell these bitches nothing cuz I'll be damned if I let him to accept me like this Okay, I'm March cuz you know what Jennifer you need help I'm trying cuz you need help You can't manage your own home life. So I'm a super mom. He wouldn't know anything about that. Would you baby? and had your own home life. So I'm a super mom. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, baby? Oh, and Rachel's like, oh my God, I'm listening to two women rip each other's ass all so far than Marge goes, you're nothing

but a disheveled little drug addict. That's right. It'd be one thing if you were drug addict with a nice hair, but you're disheveled. Okay, you're disheveled little drug addict. Not bad enough to be a drug addict. You can't comb your hair. You're a little,veled little drug addict. Not bad enough to be a drug addict. You can't comb your hair. You're a little, you're a drug addict.

You got little schmutz on the shirt. Okay, congratulations. And other ladies are like, guys, you're being so mean. And she's like, oh, stop it with your Travis Miss Daisy hat. And Mark says, oh, Travis Miss Daisy. Travis Miss Daisy, you're sick. I know, that was it. That you ever miss Daisy? You're sick.

I know, that was it. That was the line that was crossed. Really a beautiful movie with Jessica Tandy. You're gonna say my hat. Like that hat needs to be shot on reference. That was a beautiful film. Beautiful. Oh my gosh.

You have to speak about it. You have to speak about it. She believe it. She called it driving Miss Daisy. Had a brute effect. So, Fezza's like, I'm watching my food wilt in the sun. It's sad, it's sad.

So then they're like telling each other, no, you know what's sad, that you're honestly trying to serve a cast of real housewives, everything fried. I've never seen anybody with the balls to do. It's literally fried chicken, french fries, hushed pup. He's, mac and cheese isn't technically fried, I guess, but geez, they're not touching that lady. So then Marga's like, okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go. And then Jennifer Fezzler basically turns into my mom

when we had a cat and the cat would try to scratch the sofa. No, no, and oh, no. That's my mom's standard, like anti-scratching, anti-scratching lecture to the cat. N-O, no. N-O. She's like, you're not leaving my house. And March goes, I'm doing you with faith,

but I'm doing you with faith. And Dolores is just going, calm down, calm down. And then it cuts to Dolores in the diorama. She goes, I would rather watch these two punch each other in the face. Yeah, so then, Jennifer Fest is like, you guys are embarrassing me, okay, you're embarrassing me. I have neighbors here, okay, all of Tena Fly is gonna hear this, okay, so Margaret, sit your ass down, Jennifer,

I have to ask you to leave, I'm not doing this anymore. So then, Jen's just like, but I didn't even know I asked to leave, I wanted to stay here, she's like, I'm gonna doing this anymore. So then, James, she's like, but I didn't even know I had to leave. I wanted to stay here. She's like, I'm gonna go to then. Oh, so they leave. And Teresa's like,

yeah, I'm gonna go to then, cause I need more acres. And Marge is like, oh my God, I'm like literally shaking. I'm so, I can't, Jesus Christ.

So then, Fessler's like, okay, we're gonna go inside now, ladies. We're gonna go inside. I'm gonna stand at the door. I want you to come in one by one. Margaret, you are the most beautiful. Has anyone seen Margaret? She's adorable. Okay. Melissa, get in here. Stripper, I would be.

I would you if you look like that perfection. Get in here. You know what, Margaret? She was absolutely wrong about your hat. Your hat is batteries not included, possibly cocoon. Okay, that's what I'm going to say. Thank you. Thank you for extending it to the property. That is definitely cocoon, the fun weeks. I'm thinking it's either cocoon or possibly fried green tomatoes, but I think we're getting all agree, not driving this day'sy. So, um, outside, of course, tree and Jen, tree's is calm because she's not in the fight. Tree's is like so sensible when it's not her in the fight. I know. It's only when she's in the fight, she goes crazy.

So Jen's like, she's a hater. Tree's like, who cares? She ain't gonna be whatever she wants to me, you know? And she's like, she is jealous. She's a jealous wench. And she's, by the way, Jen looks gorgeous in her talking head with her long hair. She's very like soap opera, you know?

She's like, I love my husband, and I love the life we've created together. And I know that bothers you so much, Margaret. I know you'd love for me to get divorced and break my home, but I don't run away. The first glimpse of unhappiness of fuck you. Okay Jennifer, you had me until the first glimpse of unhappiness. Her husband was abusive and mocked her in closets. You know Jennifer just always takes it like that one step where I'm like, okay, you had me for three sentences.

Yeah. So Jennifer Fasla is like, it was really nice having you. Can you all get the fuck out now? So now we go to, now it's off to the Staten Island for Valentina's birthday party because amazingly that fight was not the climax of the show. So we're at this Barbie party. Big mistake. Big mistake.

Huge. Huge. And Daniel's's like oh my god I'm gonna cry. This is so perfect nothing but hideous pink tones everywhere I go So they're all in there and it's like cute like like Nate and Dominic It's not the name of her son Dominic is a Dominic. They're in like I don't care yet Yeah, so there's one and everything's being Barbie stuff everywhere and she goes, oh my god, Valentina, do you like it? She says It's like the little She's like, you know some people drape some people get off our bags of shows

This dude it for the children. That's what I do Yeah, so this, this, doing it for the children. That's what I do. Yeah. So, they're just like people are showing up and everything and Rachel shows up. And Rachel is like, she's saying how she's talking with Danielle and she's like, wow, that brunch, that was hard to watch. Mainly because there was like a lot of sun and one corner,

but then other people in the shade, just like that contrast between light and dark, which is like hard on my eyes. So they decided that they can at least fix it. Rachel can fix it with Jen, right? And now Jen and her kids come. And Jen's like, oh, this is my kind of party. How many toilets are here?

And Olivia goes up to Dan Yal and she goes, ah, you, you're the real definition of a Barbie girl. It's all it's here and Olivia goes up to Dan Y'all she goes You you're the real definition of a Barbie girl Yeah, she does do that and then so then Jen There's just like just like party stuff and everything and Olivia meets Rachel and stuff and Rachel's asking Jen how she felt about yesterday and Jen's like, you know, I was trying to keep my composure baby But everything I say got spun around like with you for instance when I was just trying to give a little history And then she tells us you know, I have no idea why Rachel threw me into the bus

I mean, I didn't call you to talk about Dolores. I called to talk about a fucked up nose jobs I'm for you to spin everything I say. It's like you sneaky. You're a sneaky sneaky person doesn't even want to learn the history about why Margaret such a slut such an awful person So they have a little talk chick, you know what you just want to have a little talk so they do and Rachel's like look I just didn't appreciate you screaming on my face that I'm a fucking idiot That's it. I just listen. I react. That's all I do offer people's actions You perceive that it's me talking shit about the Laura's, but it was history. Okay. I gotta be mad at Abraham Lincoln for stealing Betty Ford's drinks. No, you're not. Cause it's history. It's what happened.

And I'm not still mad at it. But it doesn't mean that you don't talk about the boy. And what's your food is like? It's like what the fuck is she talking about? I know. She's like, in Jennifer Aiden's mind, she makes sense. Like in Rachel Fudah's mind, this doesn't make any sense. Okay, it's only been fucking sense. So she's like, listen, this is your shit with her.

I'm not talking about this. She's like, okay, well, everything I say, and I'm doing what I need to do, didn't mean forward. And so then, Trian and Louis come and Olivia comes over at this big high pitch. Hello Teresa. I know. She is hilarious. How does she not have like a little bunny stole that she's wearing?

She is like a big pearl necklace. She is such a ham and she's like remaining a ham because like Gia used to be a ham and then she de-hammed. But like Olivia is like full ham. she's like remaining a ham because like Gia used to be a ham and then she de-hammed But like Olivia is like full ham and so I love it Yeah, so that we see her talking to Rachel is that where you were gonna do yeah, okay And she basically likes so what do you want to be when you grow up? She's therapist kind of thought you know kind of therapy. I want to teach his love And if they want to have some problems, I want to fix them

Thank you, it is I don't know who's so sweet. I thought she was gonna be like I want to be a Broadway star She wants to fix broken parents all I'm Rachel's just like oh oh my God, that is so fucking sad and adorable of the V.A. Okay. And so then Louis is asking, which by the way, they changed the spelling of Louis name on the show. Did you notice that?

It went from L.U.I.S to L.O.U.R.E. right? Because like, what is his name? Yes, and then he says, what is his name and what is his nickname, which I find to be totally redundant, but it's fine. It's Theresa just pretending she can just keep changing names and nobody's gonna know. It's like me saying.

It's like the Judeist to Judea to Judea's again. But it's just like me saying, my name is Ben, but you can call me Ben. And like Ben, and then the quote is like B-E-N-N is like my nickname. It's a lateral move. Why are you going from Louis to Louis? That's not a big sense.

Because I think he's not Italian, right? So I think his name would probably be pronounced Luis. But he's, he's, he's, yeah, he's in Jersey now. So he's Louis. Yeah. I think that's probably answer. We figured it out. I mean, I'm assuming that's what it is.

Who knows? So, you know, of course, Teresa just wants to talk shit about Margaret. So, Louie asks, what happened with Margaret? And Jen says that she's always coming for her. And Teresa's like, yeah, she's always so mean. And Jen says, yeah, she went really low. She called me a disheveled drug addict. You said that she would never know what it's like to have a family. What the fuck, Jen? I had no choice but to bring out the big guns and remind her that her hat looks like it's

some drive it but it's cheesy. Oh my god, don't say it again. So you're some words you can't take back. Hey, you know what I don't say? Isn't she all about women's empowerment and women's rights? Which I don't know what that has to do with. And why anything that Margaret was saying was actually undermining that. Yeah.

Isn't she about feminist is I'm like women voting and stuff and Jen's like yeah, well I look like a million bucks honey, and you look like both Jack and a week Lishi updated her cultural references She's like she's moved the needle forward from 1990 to like now their cultural references. She's like, she's moved the needle forward from 1990 to like now. And I love that Teresa's talking about feminism

and Jen's like, well, I'm hot and you're not. Right. So when Teresa says, isn't she all about like, female rights and stuff? She says it almost like dismissively. Isn't she like, doesn't she believe in stupid things? Like female rights, you know? So Teresa's like, you know, we were all just talking

about Margaret and I can't take the I can't take the screaming I can't take the screaming. I'm like Teresa. You are literally are the words the main streamer on the show So then now they're all the ladies are talking right and just saying I was just defending myself and she's starting with me all the time And she says I'm calling people about her, your people are calling me. Remember when Laura was telling us and she's like, yeah, yeah. And she's like wondering if she's about to drop the whole load right here, right? Because you got to paste the stuff out over the season, but she's not. Right now Jennifer says, well, she told me listen to leave Joe and she can do better than that male showvonist and I don't trust her and you guys shouldn't trust me that Joe Judice is a fucking male showvonist he didn't want his wife to leave the house okay yeah you know what I know with Margaret it's better to keep her as a friend then as an enemy and that's why I said sorry to her so now

Teresa doing this thing like she's scared of Margaret which I don't believe that for a second you know we made up but it's no secret Margaret, which is I don't believe that for a second. And he says, you know, we made up, but it's no secret when our history is, and I'm going to keep two steps back from her. So history is like the buzzword for the season apparently. And then Jen just starts doing that whole accusing people of what exactly what you're doing. She's a master manipulator. She's just trying to get everyone on her team.

You've called literally everybody in the cast to try that to talk to you about Margaret. I was going to go explaining the history. Rachel's like, well, she hasn't done anything like that to me. Honestly, and Teresa goes, oh, yeah, well, sometimes people got tracks records. All right. Or criminal ones.

And Rachel's like, well, I have a mind of my own. And I'm trying to get to know you guys for who you are. Okay, and Teresa goes, well, do your homework and pay attention. Two things that Teresa literally never did and that's how she ran up in jail. So. Yeah, well, there we go.

Little real house size of New Jersey, good time, always a good time this show. Wild times, thanks everyone for listening. Hopefully we'll see a bunch of you in Charlotte and also in Atlanta. Go to watchwrapins.com for tickets and also check out the schedule for when we're coming to a city near you. And catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone.

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