Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Finale Pool Marty

Episode Date: February 15, 2019

The Real Housewives of New Jersey ends its season with a splash. Literally. To hear this week's bonus episode about the Grammys and our trip to Dallas and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! Countess Luann Warhol Pop Art avail through February! **Crappens Live is coming to Dallas next week on Feb 8 and 9, then we're hitting up the Just For Laughs Comedy fest in Vancouver. Then Cincinnati, Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Just saying, okay? Kristi Wawardy-Dawardy. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobel-owny. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the Berg. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan the Slayer Taylor.

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And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Susie going to the tobin. Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi. Kelly Grant, the Grant Master. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. The incredible edible Matthew sisters.

Soul okay with Wellington to pray. And Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother f- We love you guys. I have come to the prayer of the prayer of the prayer love you guys! I've got a cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, Kids, what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yo Bros. I'm Ronnie, Ronnie Cara. You can find me over on the RosePrix Bachelor podcast as well. Get your ass over there, do it!

And here I am with the cool, just nice through my heart! Ben Mandelker of the kitchen of the real house Whereas of kitchen island over on the YouTube's hi, BAM hi knife to your heart or arrow happy Valentine's day Happy Valentine's Day people with love in their lives Yeah, I feel arrested for work husband. Yeah, happy masturbation while you cry day to the rest Happy masturbation while you cry, Dave, to the rest of us, okay? Oh, yeah. How you doing, Ronnie? Good.

I'm still over here in Austin just having fun times with my family, being in. What's going on over there? Well, it's raining here in Los Angeles, so I couldn't be happier. It's been a really wild few days. You know, as a lot of people saw on our Instagram story, I was privileged enough to be able to go to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premiere party. And since you're out of town, I brought a long Laura from a sexy, unique podcast. And we had just the most hilarious fun time. It was so fun. And I was like, all excited to like talk to some people whatever

But I didn't really get to talk to too many of the wives because they were pretty much in and out They were like they were that they showed up they hung around a little bit to the Casparo And then they all apparently went over to crags across the street, but it was still so cool seeing a lot of them in person Kyle looked fantastic. I was like damn damn, wow, Kyle Richards, she's really like, she's doing great. I mean, Teddy looked great. I mean, I love how like this is what matters the most, how they looked. But honestly, it's like the most that I really got out of any of them. So Teddy looked fantastic. They all, they actually really all, they all look great. Maricio was on crutches and he was like hot on crutches, which I liked. So the only one I talked to two people, I talked to Rinna briefly because we've met Rinna

before. Hi, hi, how are you? And then, and her hair was like down, she was doing sort of like a different look and I loved it. I'm like, this is the, this is the Rinna look that we need, you know? Yeah, a new refresh. God, that's like the first time in two decades, right now you go bitch.

Yeah. And then, so I didn't, I really just, I didn't really get to go up to anyone, but I went up to Teddy. I was like, I was like, hey, can I get a photo with you? I just went with like, I'm like, I'm gonna get the photo first before I say anything else. Just like lock down one photo in this event.

So I'm like, hey, can I get a photo? She's like, sure. And then I said, I'm Ben afterwards. I was like, hey, can I get a photo? She's like, sure. And then I said, I'm Ben afterwards. I was like, I'm Ben from Watch Your Crap. And she was like, oh my God. She did it with that sound of recognition. Like she knew what I was talking about. Yeah.

And then I go, I apologize. We're terrible people. And she laughed and then walked away. She's like, well, at least he said it so I didn't have to. Exactly. But what was so cool is that when I posted the photo on Instagram yesterday, she tweeted at us and goes, Hi, I'm Teddy, which was like, I know that was gold. I'm going to put that on the gold plaque for the Ben, the Ben Hall of Fame. That was, that was a special moment. So. So then, so Lauren and Abby, Laura brought her for an Abby

who doesn't watch any of these shows, but she was just there for a great time. And anyone who watched this on Instagram, like Abby was like the real breakout star of our Instagram story. So we walked out, once it was apparent that like all the Beverly Hills housewives had left. And by the way, Lisa Vanderbilt was not there.

She apparently was there like right in the beginning, like the first like minute, took a picture and then left. So we're like the season. Yeah, exactly. So we were like, you know what? Like, Rinna's gone, we wanted to actually find Rinna. So we're like, maybe Rinna is at like a sir or pump

or something like that. So we went to sir and no one was there from the housewives, but Tom Sandevol was behind the bar. He was, he was like bartending. So it was tequila Tuesdays. Yes, tequila Tuesdays. And he was like, how did it? And like, there was like a group of people just ordering from Tom and they were like literally two other bartenders just standing there that no one was ordering drinks from. So that was hilarious. I don't know if they still pull tips over there. Yeah, seriously.

So then we were like, well, maybe the next, maybe at least is that pump. Of course, is that pump? So we walked up to pump and we didn't even go away and I just asked the bartender, I said, is Lisa in there? He's like, no, she's at TomTom. We're like, yes.

So we went over to TomTom and we got a booth basically next to Lisa. Remember that table that we sat at? Remember after my birthday, we went there, that long table on the outside. So we got the first booth on the inside that was next to that little table on the outside. So we had a great view of Pandora and Ken and Lisa. And there was like three different dogs. And so I was like taking these, I was like taking video, you know, because that's what you do when you're drunk

and you're in a place like Tom Tom. You hidden Pandora video. You should have jumped up like John Stossel and Kotter doing something. I know what would you do? What would you do if you've been caught designing cocktails for the bar that were supposed to be made by the bartenders? So I was taking these videos, and at one point,

I was checking my email, but my phone was up. It looked like I was taking a sneaky video, and Lisa walked out, and I was like, shit, it looks like I'm doing what I was doing like two minutes ago, but I'm actually not doing it. So I literally just go to her, because she looks over like, hello, hello, she like, cause that look like she knows.

And I go, believe it or not, I'm actually not taking a stalking video of you. And I turn my phone around to show, it was like an empty screen. She's just, and then she squeezed my arm and walked away. Oh, I love it. And then she squeezed my arm and walked away. Oh, I love it. You got your, you got your arm squeezed from Vanderpump. Yeah, so that was just the whole story.

There was not, not a huge amount of fireworks, but I, I just wanted everyone to know the bravo leveries that we encountered and we interacted with in awkward ways. Well, I was cracking up because I was watching the stories here while I was cutting my thighs. And you said, you said something like, Oh, we just asked the gay guy, like a West Hollywood gay is if he's all the house wise. And he said, well, some of them are over there, but we saw Kyle leaf crying. Yeah, no, this big, this guy on the street when we're doing one of our stories, thank you. This is like the biggest piece of, this is the biggest piece of dirt. So we're walking and we were talking loudly of our stories, thank you, this is like the biggest piece of dirt.

So we're walking and we were talking loudly, apparently about wanting to find Rina somewhere and this gate just walks up to us. He was like, you looking for the house-wise, we're like, yeah, he's like, well, they're all like, gracias, Majra. We're like, we know, we just came from there. We think that they might be either at Pumper or at Craigs

as well, they're definitely not at Craigs. Like, oh Like oh really? He's like yeah, and one of them is crying I'm like who's crying? Oh, Paris Hilton's aunt Then he got into a car and drove away like I'm not even joking he was just like angry he was like gossiping in a very angry way and So for some reason Kyle was crying But by the way, I love that. And she deserves it. I'm glad she spent her night crying. You earned that, Kyle. But the thing is that that they did go to Craig. So that means that his intel was wrong, which means

that the crying could be wrong too. But I like the crying. I feel like that's a really good piece of intel. And I think that was true. Yeah. I feel like even if he didn't see it, I feel like Kyle did leave somewhere crying that night because those ladies really thought that they were gonna have an all-out war on least if they had to pump at the first night. It's like just reading the Twitter comments from the next day, people are going crazy on them

and I'm cracking up, those idiots. They always miss fire, you know? Yeah, well, if Kyle is crying crying here's gonna be my guess because I I'm not sure about this but I feel like I heard that Mauricio is a producer on Mexican dynasties did you hear that is that me in my head oh I didn't hear it no huh if he is here's my theory it's a conditional theory if Mauricio is a producer, then the party was basically a real house, as a Beverly Hills party, but it was also a welcome to Bravo party for Mexican dynasties. So it was all like, there's a whole Mexican dynasties cast was there.

There was like, Mariahatchy band, all this stuff. So it was very much like, this is for Mexican dynasties. So I wouldn't be surprised if, you know, the women, they do their cast photo and everything, they're there and then they leave. I wouldn't be surprised if Kyle's like, but this is like really important to Mauricio and they like, I like, like, like, why are they all leaving? Like, you know, I don't know what to do because I want to be with my cast mates, but I want to support my husband. Like, I can totally imagine that one of those stupid Betty cries,

which I love. I imagine that she just opened Twitter. What have people been saying, by the way? I mean, I know we're going to talk about Real House as a New Jersey, but this is important bravo stuff, and I think I feel like this season of Beverly Hills, we're going to have to be on the pulse of all of this every single day. So what we're going to have a lot to talk about in the next bonus episode next week because There's rumors Vicki was fired the real house was of New York taglines came out What else happened a bunch of stuff happened so great to go this know that bonus next week. It's gonna be really good so

Basically just horrible things and then Teddy's blog came out basically saying Lisa it was a big setup and Lisa was And then Teddy's blog came out basically saying Lisa, it was a big set up. And Lisa was pretending that she didn't know that she had set up her employees to talk about it on camera, but obviously did. Which I think that obviously she, I think it's pretty obvious. Yeah. I mean, they didn't just happen to be sitting there with Dorita dog, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

But which again, I'm fine with it, which we can talk about on that show because Dorita did the deed. So fuck her. But basically, most of these, most of them were, someone posted on Facebook just all the nasty comments Teddy was getting on her blog, just on Twitter, people think, what an idiot you're seeing. I read the blog and I didn't see what was so crazy,

like offensive and like anger into you seeing about it. I was like, okay, it just Teddy being like, I'm Teddy. So, anyway. We'll talk about that later. We'll talk about that. than anger and do you see about it? I was like, okay, it just had to be like, I'm deady. So. Anyway, we'll talk about that later. We'll talk about that. We'll talk about that. We'll talk about that.

That season came back just, Juicy, I can't believe everybody's talking about Beverly Hills again. It's not time. It's not time-centric. Yeah, I actually watched again last night with some friends and it took us about 90 minutes to get through it because there was so much pausing and discussing and like theory-making and like how much at least to know at this part and what's Lisa's gameplay in here

and oh, this is Kyle doing her thing and it was like, it was like the, what is that? What's that famous JFK thing? It's a pre-der. Yeah, the Surpreeter film. That's what it felt like. So it's like, and that was the first episode. So this can be a good season.

But we're actually not here to talk about Beverly Hills. We're here to talk about Real House as New Jersey. I almost have New Hampshire, which would have been also in hilarious. But even before we do that, real quickly, next week we are going to just for laughs in Vancouver. So if you're in the Pacific Northwest, please come see us. It's going to be a fabulous time. We'll have Poutine together. There'll be celebrities.

Let's do a group photo. Let's just go find Seth Rogan and take a big group photo with him. Okay. Because he will be there, not at our show. Maybe, maybe he will. Who knows? So go to our website, watch your crappens.com for that or jflnorthwest.com to get your tickets. Please get your tickets for that. It's going to be amazing. South by Southwest, we're going to be there in March. We've heard that already like a thousand people have signed up. So those are going to be really, when those when those passes are tickets or whatever become available, it's that's going to be a hot ticket to get. So keep be be sure to be on top of that one. Wow, that's. Yeah. Oh, did I,

I forgot to tell you that, Ronnie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The venue only holds 300 so it's gonna be that's gonna be hot ticket Um, and then then we have all our other great shows since an adi portland and Boston Oh, I promised I'd do the songs today. We've got Cincinnati Boston Portland Phoenix, Milwaukee, Minnesota Come see us will buy you a soda And that's all of the song today. Oh, that's pretty good. Very nice. This is very well written.

Thanks. Uh, and then go get your Lewand pop art t-shirts over at crapandsmarch.com. They're only available a couple more weeks. It's Lewand as an Andy Warhol painting and it's amazing. And you can also get leggings, which look insane. And I can't wait to get mine. So this and Irvine just go back everyone mentally and insert that into the song. Okay, so today is the real housewives of New Jersey. Yes. Oh, New Jersey. Congratulations New Jersey. So good. What a great season. Yeah, congratulations.

You're back. But you know, the fights and stuff have been really fun. This has been a super fun show to watch and really, really extra fun to cover. But then, you know, everybody gets to ahead of themselves or like, this is the best season of Jersey ever. Okay, guys calm down because this episode reminded us that no, no, it has not been because you see all these storylines, you see some

long storylines of people that amounted to nothing. And they were made up storylines to begin with, but like Melissa's sister storyline ends with her taking over the counter DNA test 23 and me or something. Yeah, there was a lot of sloppy storytelling that the women just pushed through. They're like, we'll make this work, even though I'm stuck on this ridiculous narrative. Jan and Brett, what? Yeah, if you don't know that you have a sister already, then don't bring that up as a mystery storyline, okay?

Or at least make an effort to search for your, like do something, okay? Yeah, destiny put more effort into this in sauce, okay? And she barely showed up. At least Destiny knows she has a father, you know, like, at least that's a tangible person, as opposed to like, you know, Francine from like Lodi called up. Melissa said, by the way, there's your dad had another child out there. Like, what? You know, like, that's, that's not pretty good. what? You know, like that's, that's not pretty good. So we get a lot of past, this past season stuff, which is why I was like, uh, no, thanks, but we can skip all that. Uh, and then it's

the latest kid, the kids ready in the morning. Yeah. Classic kids waking up at Melissa's house didn't brush their teeth. Jen trying to teach her kids to double that. I mean, her oldest daughter, forgot her name, I wrote it down towards the gap. Maybe it's Gabby or something. Gabriela, I think. Yeah, I think it's something like that, but she's my spirit animal, okay. There's a lot of kids on Bravo that I love,

I think that are really cute. I mean, Melania's one of my all-time favorites. She's a classic, but this girl is totally me, okay? It's like, you put her in the center of the center in the jumping rope and your mom just slaps you in the face with it. Okay, welcome to my childhood. I was like upset that they were doing double dutch inside.

It's not like they have obviously room for it, but like, what a great excuse to put the kids outside. I mean, get these kids out in the sunshine for once. Yeah, those kids are definitely gonna have They're definitely going to have bone disease. Like they need to go outside. Do you get bone disease? I mean, well, going outside. I don't even know, I'm making that up.

Yes, you do. You get like sudden onset, paramount bone disease. Welcome to Dr. Ronnie, okay? Where I don't really know anything, I just hit you on the head and sent you outside to play. Well, that's New Jersey. So real house with New Jersey, I just hit you on the head and sent you outside to play. Well that's New Jersey. So real house with New Jersey I should say, not to make our New Jersey listeners feel

like they're crazy. So then we land on Teresa going to some boutique that's off the side of the highway where she meets Danielle and it's like this old house or whatever, and this woman with big hair and like a weird, frilly white thing on, is like, let me take you up to the VIP room, and they like go upstairs to this like, like sitting on like chairs and like a fenced area next to like sad gowns hanging like a dry cleaners.

I was like, this is real house, that's New Jersey right here Very yeah very much. It's like here's the attic, you know, yeah Like I don't even get other face would be like mmm. I'm not really into this decor. I know other face would be judging their surgery They get that face damn Yeah, damn they really they really want up me So Danielle's like I was Explaining to walk there. They were going to an anniversary party

They made a song about me. It's called lady and red is dancing with me, but I'm not dancing with no one So I don't understand the songs. Joseph you dancing with a lady and red What so what who cares? You have a call from federal so what? Okay, you want to take the original left so what yeah, so what original draft was in made an orange in made an orange Dancing with me in the prison yard cheap cheap so i mean cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap the cornhole okay so what the case

uh... such a reason that i got a thing daniel's you always smells good and daniel's like i do yeah that's why i see engaged in my team time. And Danielle just texted her like, do you think I won't fucking kill you just because no one else will speak to me or will not see me. She's like, I put on my finest Maxwell House perfume and this is how you treat me. Oh, the Maxwell. Oh, so then Danielle is, um, Danielle is of course, here for the important thing.

She's like, was anything said about it last night? Tell me, spell it. Tell me what they said about me last night. I'm just like, well, my sister's ain't she's wearing a red dress because of the red wine she spilled on us. Mm-hmm, yeah. She was like, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Spell to throw in all of my beautiful gown It was a beautiful gown that I got at Philean's basement, okay One of a kind Who's gonna tell Dorothy? Is that the lady? Yeah, Dorothy the ladies think you want to see him. I'll be back with some dresses I like that one. It has a slit in it. I need a slit I feel like Danielle is like a living slit, you know she is yeah, hey slit That's really that sounds very sexy. It sounds same calling someone a slit sounds like really one of those Bile things you could say that someone, but it actually is not, it's not, it's hard to, it doesn't even make sense.

Yeah. It sounds like it should be terrible. It sounds like I can't believe you said that. Because, well, because honestly, it sounds like three different taboo words mixed into one. There's shit, there's slut, and then, you know, cut fitness. Yeah, there's a lot going on there, cut fitness, yeah. So, treats is like well

My sister shall be cool around you, and I decided that I'm gonna stay friends with the mods cuz she she she ain't done nothing to me Yeah, yeah, exactly and they all say well Teresa I just want to know that when the shit hits the fan I want to know that you have my back because I'm gonna have your back when you hit me That shit hits your fan Don't worry. Malani is not gonna be there. No one's gonna be throwing shit at fans She's like, yeah, somebody says something out of line I was like wow, I'll buckle up. I hope she uses plastic glasses I hope she uses plastic glasses. You're like, so then over.

Meanwhile, if if if Marge had said that about plastic glasses and it got back to Jennifer, she'd be like, you know what, that's an insult to my house that I wouldn't even be able to have glasses there. It would be plastic. That's an insult. I should've Jennifer. Thank you.

Thank you. Jennifer just having a fit it people. Yeah, so yeah, so meanwhile Jackie goes with her mom and to To a hair salon to get her hair cut and colored so they go they meet with a woman in wave Who's gonna do a transformation on Jackie's mom? God? I need to I need people to stop just naming themselves No, okay Amber Just keep your name amber Okay Well, that's probably her sister and her actually doesn't have such name green get it Like art. It's like me naming my so waves of purple grape. I'm trying to think of all the words

I'm so un-American you guys Purple grape. I'm trying to think of all the words. I'm so an American you guys Amber with South grain For purple mountain and majesty Here's my children amber grave Great amber grain purple majesty mountain Stupid good wave. Why I mean wave is like, I'm sorry, that's not a good name. I'm sorry to everyone who named Wave who listens

or to Wave herself. Like Wave, we're pretty sure that you either named yourself or your parents were high when they named you. And like, you know, we all have our own names and we all have weird, unique names and we're all special in our own ways. But Wave is just not a good name. Yeah, that's a tryhard name, Wave,

especially if you're a runner, you know? Yeah, so Wave is like, I'm Wave, the hair lady. So Jackie is doing that thing for you. She's ego boost every time she goes to a stadium. Oh my god, they're doing the wave. That's me. She's doing that thing where she thinks she's doing so much in a favor by giving them a makeover, but it's really rude. Yeah, and Anne doesn't give a shit.

She's like, like honestly my physical appearance never made me feel better about myself. I mean you could do what you want to my hand. I'm still going to library later. Yeah and Jackie's like well you know my mom's never get to hey she never cared about herself because she thought the only way that people would think she's smart is this she was frontbeat and that kind of thinking that comes that's a behavior pattern this driven by fear I'm like, okay, okay, congratulations on your article, but can you keep your doctor? Loring to yourself, ma'am. Yeah, yeah, thanks for a workshop in your Bergen record column with us But let's get back to this this makeover, please so Jack is like well, mom. I've got great news

She's like, what is it? Well, remember how I didn't talk to my sister for 15 years? Yeah. Guess what? I said, hey, what's up to her? Oh, you're lying to me. That was her mom's reaction, which kind of cracks me up that Jack is like really a compulsive liar, because that's like my favorite personality profile for a psychiatrist or anyone who considers himself any kind of therapist, you know, yeah, yeah, or advice, but I don't know if she's a psychiatrist, but she talks like she's trying to be Dr. Phil. Yeah, she's like, are you lying to me? She's like, no, Mark, am I going to make an effort to be a sister?

Wow. It sounds like it almost sounds like science fiction. What science fiction has she been reading? It's the story of the man who went to Mars and met his long-law sister. It's a story about a new invented time machine called the telephone. It's the story about one woman who goes back in time to go to her sister's daughter's bot mitzvah. I like her having like LVP be like the books on tape lady. Well now that it's back she's going to be in every recap. Jersey science fiction read you by Lisa Vanderpump Pump or still skin So Philip K Vanderpump. Oh this

This store is called vain which I thought was really funny because the store that the Teresa and Danielle were in was called so go Which cracked me out. I did not. It's called so go. Oh, no, no, the restaurant. No, the restaurant. Yeah, it's called so go And which is so funny because it's like the worst family in the world is going to eat there But first it is Margaret and her husband Jill and their lame storyline with the son not talking to the dad, right? Before we get on to that though two things a I like that we now have two businesses That are named after the sevenpp and Deadly Sins and the Invane, I think.

And then also, we have to talk about the actual makeover, which is that they were trying so hard to have a queer eye moment with like tears and hugs and everything. And they give hands to make up. I mean, her hair actually looks great. It looks amazing. It looks amazing. This is a way of really nailed it. I mean, I mean, they call her way for a reason. Okay. They should call her nail as in nailed it because she did do that. Like,

we've killed it. And Andrew action was like, huh, who's that? Yeah, they put me on the cover of the AARP. Oh, it's like, guess what I look like now? And maybe it. So thanks. Thanks for that. So mom, you want to cry or anything? The cameras are here. No, I'm okay. I'm fine. It's nice. We still go into a penere bread next.

I know the mom didn't give a crap, but she did look amazing. I mean, that's really good, especially for Jersey, because I mean, look at Theresa. Yeah. OK, Theresa looks like a pop tart that got dropped in coconut oil. Like, she looks crazy.

Yeah, I thought that Anne was gonna come out looking like one of Jennifer's guests, like weird highlights and strange volume and spiky elements, but it was like a very sophisticated, wasp haircut. I was like, you know what, Wave? You're all right. You nailed it, Wave.

You nailed it, Wave. We take it all back, Wave, okay? So then we get Marge and her lame story line. Sorry, I can't what the story of like call your father. That's her story line for the year. Yeah, it really is. Yeah, basically, Shinjo, where they've got they got take out what the fuck is this? Like I plan something like that joke. Like what is this? It's just like food. You know, they shouldn't call it Chinese food. They should call it Chinese mystery.

You know what I'm saying? That's for you, that's for you. Classic Joe. So Brett comes over, he's like, hello. He's kind of like the hamburger guy from Popeye. What's his name? Well, his name is Wimpy and I don't want to call him Wimpy. He just has that way of talking.

He gives me like a grimace vibe. He does look like grimace. He's like, and like grimace and early bird mix together and it's not like making fun of his looks just like the vibe he gives. Yeah, he does give a grimace vibe. Um, but it's margis like, did you call your father? What, what are we doing? Can I be honest with you? Did you call your father? Cause we're family. Family's kind of be together. It's bad enough that your brother and your sister don't talk to me like do we need to do this with you? You know to prove to you how sad I am I'm gonna take this paper towel and I'm gonna I'm gonna

Squint in it very very hard, okay? Look squint. Oh She does Squint does not squint into a paper towel Yeah, all right, it's a lot. It's like the whole family separates It's like you know, you know, you know, you brother don't talk to me, you know, you're not talking to Jan. All right. Like I'm not, I'm not talking to Joe some days. I'm just kidding. I can't say no to his voice sometimes. It's just, it's all up. It's all up. So Brett's like, you know what? He doesn't make me happy and not talking to him makes me happy. Classic Brett, classic Brett. classic bread, classic bread. So yeah, I think that he should just not talk to his dad.

He's like a asshole. So I say, make yourself happy, kid. So then Marge does what she really does best, which is to impart some advice while having tons of food in her mouth. She's like, well, you know, when you're not, you know, you gotta talk to Jan. All right, I mean, like, you're gonna talk to Jan, he's like, I'll do it. You all, you all, when you breath, you know, you gotta touch it, Jan. All right. I mean, like, you're gonna touch it.

Jan, he's like, I'll do it. You all, you all do, right? Right. You're gonna come to Jan. I'm through it. I'm through it. Oh, gross. I'm not just happy to do it. Hey, man. I can't with mouth noises.

I hate mouth noises. You know, there's a disease, I heard that's like that. Like a disorder, disorder disorder of some kind It's that you can't stand the sound of mouth noises. I don't know what it is. I don't think it's a disease or disorder I think it's most most comments most people. Yeah, it's common sense. Yeah, it's most. It's yeah exactly mouth noises So speaking of sogo now we go over to surga So go the um our we We have Sogo. Now we go over to Suga. So go.

The, we are second Hibachi moment and Bravo and in 2019 or 2018. I don't know what, I don't know when the Atlanta Hibachi moment was. Either way, so Jennifer and her family arrive at Sogo to terrorize this poor restaurant. And you know, Bill Longsick, mm-hmm, hi, eight in reservation, mm-hmm, dimmertime, mm-hmm, feed me Jennifer, feed me all night long. You can do it.

And of course the kids are monsters, as just as you expect them to be. Two of them grabbed the sticks and start fighting with each other. And big brothers like, stop it because I said so. And then the little girls sobbing for no reason and whining about everything. Oh my god. And then one of the boys starts doing drum sticks with the chopsticks on the table and it's just like, oh, and then there's a lot of like, mom, shut up, I'm not doing anything.

God, it was just like, and then you just see like, at one point it cuts to Olivia, like there's the littlest one, and for some reason she has these little glasses on and she's just scowling like an SAT proctor who caught you cheating, you know? And she's like, honey, finish your soup. I'm just like, oh, okay.

If you take me to the target to buy two things, then I'll finish my soup. It's like, fine, just finish it. And he's like, that is cold-spoiling the children. Not right there, spoiled. Not to, not to children, not a spoiled children. So if it's like, you know what, I spur them a little bit, so see me.

I'm like, you will be sued when their privilege as teenage asses crash their brand new car into someone's yard like they're spoiled and have such entitlement of her driving. Just, yes, go with it. I predict this family will have a lot of DUI's hard, like they're spoiled and have such entitlement of or driving. Just yes. This I predict this family will have a lot of DUIs in this feature. Lots of teenage DUIs. Bill. Bill pulls a gorgah and he's like, the father's work job is to work and provide. So your job is to be the disciplinary.

administer as many spankings and such. Jim's like, all right then, but can I bring up an issue? When do you have free time, you choose to not spend it with us and spend it with your friends and it hurts my feelings and make me sad for my kids. Okay, first of all, that is not what you're fighting about right now, ma'am. Okay. The kids are still spoiled. Yeah. And also, like, are you crazy? Bring this up in front of the kids at like, I don't know, like, wait a minute, put the kids right there in the middle because she's too afraid to do it on her own. So she's going to make him like, she's going to

corner him by doing it on camera with the kids. Like how terrible. So it does like, he's like, ooh, but don't you feel like adults? So you feel like adults shouldn't have friends. Ooh, how rude, but I'm getting a pity in YF. So we need to bail. And so then the kids start giving advice, right?

So the oldest daughter is like Me she's like you have family and then you have friends and it's just that your family should be more important That's all and he's like Thank you. Why do you have a lash across your face? Just get by rope again out of nowhere face. Just gets it by rope again out of nowhere. Then his son goes, you know how you're like, you know how you're supposed to be like a role model for me. I don't really see it that much because you're not really around. The bill's like, oh, well, I'm sorry, I'm not around as much. I can do better than about that. I'll I'll be around. Oh the time. I'll be naughty in front of everyone

Yeah, be careful what you wish for because you're about to get spanked old school style, okay? Yeah, fuckers, you little fuckers. So they talk about how they're gonna have their anniversary party and then the Habachi girl girl guy tries to start gem on fire, which you know, didn't work. Yeah, yeah, didn't work, which is shocking. Because you know, there's a lot of production in that hair. But still, everybody send the so go Habbachi guys some tips for trying. Yeah, please. They had, they were traumatized after that, you know, I feel like that actually when he did like a smiley face of oil and lit it on fire, he wasn't trying to like dazzle them. He was trying to express his mental state. Yeah.

It's like my smile will never come back. It has been burned down. It has been lit aflame and destroyed. So that was being just a toast to shrimp. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of WonderZ's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a

full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon, despite both Selina and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. I was pretty much like, why am I watching this? The show's basically wasted my time tonight.

And then we get the scene we all need for the end of this. Frank is a loris and he's a storyline at the house that they just did. They just re-did it for flipping. Okay, we just flip the house. Here it is, Loris. All right. Loris, we just flipped the house. Look at the screen right now.

Look, there's like this flooring in here. There's like a wall, there's a pebble tile. Don't look at the pebble tile. It gets you mad. I know it gets you mad at the l. All right. Floors, we just flipped the house. Look at the screen right now. Look, there's like flooring in here. There's like a wall. There's pebble tiles. Don't look at the pebble tiles. It gets you mad. I know it gets you mad, the Lord. Okay. So she comes in.

The Lord comes in. What I appreciated about her is she was bringing out fit. It had like two neck holes. Like, there was like the normal neck hole. And then there was like a neck hole on her arm. Did you notice that? Yeah.

See, yeah, but not the other arm. Yeah. It was like a, it was like an asymmetric dual neck hole situation. And it's just like, look Frank, I'm being modern right now. Do you like it? Yeah, looks really good for us. Looks really good. Do you like the floor in your door?

So I think the floor looks really good. Look, Frank, I ended up getting a hole near where my heart is, which is basically standing for the hole in my heart I got when you refuse to get pebbles. Remember when you fucked me on that when the pebble ties and now look at the back. And by the way listen to Dolores okay Frank I mean Dolores is wearing a hole on her shoulder but she's still got more taste in you. He's straight up went and got home depot tiles for a remodel and it's so ugly. It's like the same it's like the basic standards square gross cheap as tile.

Why would you do that? Yeah it it was. Well, look, it's this. He's not Jeff Lewis. Okay. He's like, he's Frank. He's, no, he's Frank. You know, he doesn't have a lot of ambition, but you know, he likes to pebble tile. And that's just what it is. And I'm okay with that. You know, now let me test the dimensions of this house. Okay. I'm going to walk from here. Now I'm in the kitchen. Now I'm back. Wait. I'm in the kitchen again, Frank. I'm back. I'm sorry, I'm the fuel of this serrated. Let me get another lap. In the kitchen. I'm back. Yeah, it's good. I feel

I was soul, I was soul searching. I found that it was between the kitchen and the living room So I found it Frank, right? And he's like, uh, she's like listen, I feel like I need a change of environment, you know I've been in that house 24 years by myself or with David kind of maybe a little every Tuesday night for two hours after he's done Working finally, but you know what Frank. I've decided I'm moving and he's like listen, you know You told me I wasn't holding you back. I asked you if I was holding your back and you said no and then you're gonna move So I was holding you back without Laura's come on Yeah, listen Frank you listen you can stand the house if you want

You just have to make sure you don't trip over that that big trough of made of walking the kitchen to the living room over the past Twenty four years, okay? Yeah, yeah Frank, go ahead and say that there's already a natural trail built, okay? Yeah, you can honestly, you can go like cross-country skiing in it, it's like the perfect, it's like two lines, two lines just stick your feet in there and just go back and forth. It's like a Nordic track, basically Frank. And she's like, now I'm strong enough and honest enough with myself to let go of Frank. And he's like, whatever you need, Dolores, all right?

That's what she can get, whatever you fucking need right now. That's what she can get from me. Give me a kiss. All right, let's do it. You want to go do it on the new tile floor? Come on. You want to do it on Pebble Tile? I know you have a bad opinion about Pebble Tile, but I swear to God,

like if we do it right now in the Pebble Tile, I think you're going to really like it a lot, okay? Oh my God. If he did get the Pebble Tiles, she would totally bone him right now on the floor. Yeah. She's like, come on Frank, emotional conversations drain me and he didn't nap now. And I was like, me too. Yeah, I just took one.

Okay, so the Gorgas. Yeah, so let's as kids are fighting, cause Joey is wearing his brother's mouthguard, which is pretty gross. But like on brand for the family. And he's like, oh my God, your mouth has a terrible taste. And I was like, well, look at that mouth is part of this family.

So, that was exactly. And you were the one who didn't brush your teeth earlier, sir. So, yeah, so then Nico, the dog, starts humping a blanket, you know, Joe over's like, Yeah, finally thought one well, hey. Blankets too, huh? Am I right? So Melissa's like, okay, Joe, look, you know, uh, I'm a woman and I believe it's strong women and I want my daughter to believe it's strong women and the Natonia comes in and she's going to a dance and Joe's like, hey, what you doing?

Come on, what you doing? How late are you gonna be there? You better be back early, you got a vagina, alright? Well, that was also after when Melissa was doing her 23 and me kid and she had to like spit into like a thing or something and so she was like, he was like, what is that? Like that going your mouth. It looks like a dildo or something. And Tony was like, stop it, dad. Oh, yeah, gross. Yeah, it looks like a dildo. Of course, it's a fucking Joe. What is wrong with Joe? I feel like Joe's one of those guys who's going to eventually get caught just like jerking off at a library, you know, like standing there like a gas station or somewhere gross. There better be a video of it on PornHub. Thank you.

So most of the like, Joe, you're really big on gender roles. And you know what? Like, that's not right. You're always like, man, do this, women, do that. And men do this and women do that. And he's like, whoa, you're making that, like I'm not a good person. Like I'm not a good father.

I'm like, you know, this is the problem. If I may have like a very small rant here. Like she's saying like this, like you are acting this way like and and he is Hearing it as a value judgment about him as like I'm a bad father And I think that's like a problem with like a lot of Everyone in society is that like when people just like listen like You're acting in ways that are like like you have to sort of break your own like cycle behavior, right? To be like a modern person, you know? And people just hear it as you're a bad person.

It's like, no, no one's saying you're a bad person. Just saying like, you're a need to revise how you act. Yeah, that was my man. I tried to make it really short. So, yeah, well, it's like it's like talking to a wall, like literal intelligence of a brick wall, you know? But then does it. He's like, you know what I do. I listen because that's what a real man does He lists his and he changes his behaviors and then he sticks his thumb up a list of ass on the camera or whatever Yeah, she's like she has like a real bombshell revelation. She's like Joe

You know what most people's childhoods affect how they grow up It's like really is that why know what? Most people's childhoods affect how they grow up. It's like really? Is that why they call it a developmental age? So then she's like, I just want you to hold your tongue. Yeah, so you what, I'm gonna hold my tongue and you have vagina. Yeah! And drop five times into your 23 and me a cup,

by the way, just so you know. That's our boy, Jesus Christ, man. Yeah, the 23 and me people are like, we've got the results and it turns out your sister is your husband? Um, funny. Okay, so what's next? I'm so sorry.

Jennifer texts. I'm so sorry. I'm at home right now. I mentioned that I'm in Texas and so it's like. Blink. It's like bling, bling, uncle, where you doing? What are you doing? Uncle, what you're going to take me to the craft store?

Uncle, I made some slime with glitter. Uncle, you're going to take me my friend. Like, oh, my God. OK, this is why I live a thousand miles away, people. Oh, my goodness. Well, we then go over to Jennifer's house where they're setting it for the party. Somehow, they make this tacky ass,

paramount mansion look even worse with all this party decorations. Just like shitty red carpets everywhere. I don't know if you saw it. There was like an exterior shot because she wants to have like a red carpet on the outside and everything. And like you see like the red carpet only extends from the doorway to the top of the stairs. And then it like ends. And then there's like a little patch of red carpet like a like a red carpet only extends from the doorway to the top of the stairs, and then it ends. And then there's a little patch of red carpet, like a red carpet welcome at thing on the landing. And then it ends just like what? Yeah, this party, red carpeting.

This party was really sad. It looked like a hospital. Yeah, it was terrible. And then she's like, okay, I'm going to go get my make-up put on. And she already has a full full on magic marker lip liner And like she has a full beat face and she's like she's now gonna get her real makeup on oh yeah And we see a flashback of them us planning the party and Jeff was like I was thinking that we could do a red party and he was, ooh, the color of passion. So then, uh, she starts gossiping, which I'm totally sure is why Bill is leaving all the

time. It's like, you know, his kids are throwing baseballs at his head, or he's stuck listening to Jennifer talking about all the women that she's pissed off by getting to drunk at whatever event, you know, yeah, she's like I'm interested to wine only, huh? Get it, Bill? Because she's read wine. And we don't want red wine stains, Bill. Get it, that's the joke. It's funny. Ooh, yes. Yeah, it's very funny.

I think it's funny, but I also think you're wrong. So, hmm, hmm, you know what's right? Being naughty. So Teresa's over getting ready with her 10-PRIV people and Melania sitting there in my favorite Melania mood ever It's like Melania's resting mood Well, she can't wait to grow up So she's like what are you doing? I didn't get up and sing singing in my dreams. It's like people do that.

Why wouldn't you want to spend that day with your husband? Because she's already spent 16 years at home. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Says the woman who's like complaining about losing time with her husband. So then we see you over to Melissa's house and Joe Gorgas and some sort of like tight green football kind of shirt. And I was like, oh my god, he's so hot.

I was like, oh, why does he have to be so hot? And then Margin Joe getting dressed. And he's like, I want Margaret to, I want to, I want to, I'm going to take a marker around so I can mark each bathroom and count them so I can see if this really 16 bathrooms like I like that shows man enough to admit that he needs a marker to do that. Yeah To 16 so okay He's gonna be a big pad I'm mark. Just like yeah, I want to see the golden toilet so we can make sure to pee there, right?

Yeah, it's a see the golden toilet so we can make sure to pee there. So we do pee all over the toilet. Yeah. Flareus. So, yeah, so there's like some general like chitter chat amongst the different households. It's like, oh my god, like to recess up Daniels ass blah, blah, blah, blah. But then we then go to the party. Now it's party time and Jennifer is like, look, I'm wearing a custom gown. It looks like a someone took a slice of watermelon and flandered it and spread it around my waist.

They have some crazy, crazy looking dresses at this party. Yeah, hers was particularly terrible. It was like, you know, like every action has a reaction. It's like every Met Ball has a Jennifer's party. Yes. And then that Gabby is so cute or Gab whatever her name is. So just wrote Gab. But she, my favorite, little Ronnie.

She's like, oh, I'm the only kid here. Yay! She's like so happy to be getting attention from her parents and her mother. I'm not getting a rope in her face. There was also like a cake that I believe was like five different skinny girl logos mashed into one like That's a certain point this party started to just turn into like a bath in the party, right? Like it's like red and white with like black silhouettes. I was like this is a skinny girl

It was black silhouettes of the family like the husband throwing the kids up in the air or It looks like some it looked like a creepy Halloween party. You know, like, was it like eating children or something? And then it's like leaning over, you know, is it about to crush itself? Yeah, it was not a stable cake. It was appropriate. Yeah. So the other parts in the pool house,

speaking of which, so everyone's hard to show up so that they're giving a tour and they're like, ooh, and there's the pool house. I apparently spend too much time and apparently I'm in there jerking off to porn and not being my wife in there Living my best secret life. Ooh, allegedly Glad you brought that up Bill because you know, I want you guys to see that pool house because you know That's where my husband goes and I always know where he is and then Jackie's like, oh yeah, I always know what my husband is to. He's in the bathroom. He's constantly in the bathroom. Okay. That's the only place he ever is in the restaurant. He's like, yeah, lock myself in there. Like, okay, guys. Yeah. Sounds like a regular reverse jam. So, um, then Margaret shows up and someone motorboats her boobs.

Who is it? Who motorboats her? I don't even know. I think it happens so often that I'm just, I don't even see it anymore. Yeah, all I know is that someone motorboats it and then we just hear Bill go, ee-e-e-e-e. I mean, don't take that. Take the habits. You'll like that better. Marge, seeing you're like Navi getting buffet. We'll never get old. Yeah, I mean, I'm Lebanese, but I feel like you don't really have to be Lebanese to have seen this food before.

Okay. We've all seen this food before, guys. Yeah, I think I'm as an eggplant pretty pretty standard food Anyway, everybody's basically gathering around and then Melissa these ladies are not gonna let Danielle off the hook Which I love Melissa's like Danielle coming wow good luck with that fiasco. So they're already giving Jen sit for inviting her Yeah Good luck with that fiasco. So they're already giving Jen sit for inviting her. Yeah. And so there are, oh, I lost my place in my notes. Oh, so Teresa arrives. So Teresa shows up.

Joe Gorgher looks like he wants to fuck her. He just has his look in his eyes like, yeah, 23 and me. Am I right, everyone? Doesn't even make sense. So, and she's like, oh my god, Jennifer, I love your necklace. What's up with your necklace is his nicest. And she's like, Oh my God, Jennifer, I love your necklace. What's up with your necklaces is nice is, and she's like, Oh, this, I borrowed this one for my brother's jewelry store.

Yeah, yeah, high quality jewels in Long Island. Go buy some for yourself, okay. That's caught being a good friend to yourself. Yeah, this is what Melda gets a look forward to. Not a male or a bride. She's a lucky or a bride. That's what I say. So then Daniel arrives with Marty,

and God, Marty really is so gross. Like he just gets grosser every time she says, I'll put him, and he's nice to Daniel and I still can look at him and think he's gross, you know? He really is gross. Like what does he do for work? I feel like he must like sell you his car. Like he has a Pontiac dealership and Pontiacs aren't even sold anymore. is gross. What does he do for work? I feel like he must sell you his car. I feel like

he has a Pontiac dealership and Pontiacs aren't even sold anymore. Yeah, I'm not sure what he does, but I'm sure he's spending about five times more at the office now. He's got a lot of credit for bills to pay off. That's for sure. That's for sure. So then what else happens? Let me go through here. Okay, so so so so so so Danny all shows up and She and Margaret have like a fake-y fake moment where they like kiss on the cheeks that and it's like Oh, we're just gonna act like everything's fine. We're just act like everything's fine. Whatever. So then You killed a bit those godfather movies. Yeah, if I wake up with it with a decapitated horse head right now

I'm gonna know who did it dead. Yeah, if I wake up with a with a decapitated horse head by man, I'm gonna know who did it. Yeah, classic Classic, that's for you Jen. That's for you. Jen's a classic Jose Joe's yeah, yeah So it's your margis like you know, I thought I was the only one with my girls out tonight because they all have their boobs out And Jack is like yeah, you know what? I think it's weird that then y'all came in smiling and laughing like that and three You know what? I spoke with us and I said I'm not taking sides and she's gone she's gone. So then Jen Jen and Jen and Danielle are outside talking and Jen's like how are you doing any awkwardness? Like frankly I'm used to it I'm used to it. I'm used to it. I

Mean I thought getting married would fix it, but oh you mean awkwardness between me and Marge. Yes. Yes So then the girls inside are still talking to Teresa about it and Jack is like she has a problem every time she sees Mars I mean can't you see that she's toxic? I like that she's doing Britney Spears songs in there. I know see that she's toxic Dries is And Reese is like she's like not what she's she toxic if you if you're toxic to has you know, so That's what no So that's what no, no, no, no, all of them together were like no, Teresa, you're not going to go away with that shit. Yeah, exactly.

So now meanwhile, Joe Benino is, that's his name, right? Benino. I don't know. I just call him Joe and the other one, Gorka, when they're both on screen together. Too many Joe's on this show. So mustache Joe, he's like, I'm not happy with Marty. I am so mad with Marty. And this is a true feeling that I'm feeling right now. I have had it up to

here with Marty. And Gorgas, like, yeah, what are you guys going to do? You know, these girls are fighting to just being girls. You know, they're sitting around drinking show with the tith. All right, if we're gonna keep our jobs for the next year, which I am, because I'm gonna, I'm gonna open another goddamn business. All right, I've already got like 13 field businesses on this show. All right, let's start a fight. Let's start a fight. Want to fight? Want to fight? All right, go fight, Marty. Yeah. Yeah. Now, I mean, there's, I felt like we've had sort big Marty Joe scenes leading up to this.

We had that weird bachelor party moment where there was a drink that was thrown, but it was sort of off camera, but it felt like that didn't feel like a real moment. Then there was that weird moment at Melania's thing where I think it was Melania's thing where they were talking and then like Joe like Joe Gorgas tried to hold back the other Joe from punching Marty, but that they were like all smiling. So like this whole thing has always tracked a little fake to me. Until today, so I was like, damn, I can't believe that stuff came out of his mouth. So Gorgas trying to get them to go fight each other and Joe is like, I can we just place them like Jack or whatever.

And then Marty comes over because is this one Marty comes over to them? Yeah, yeah, he says comes out to say hi and he's like, you don't say hello to me. You don't say hello. And yeah, and I'm sorry, I'm stuttering because I've got like so many lines of nothing happening that I'm like, what we don't need to say that we don't so consider the stuttering saving you guys time, okay? You're welcome. Yeah, yeah You don't say hi to me and Gorgas like you guys with friends. You know what night you can cut the tension with the knife

Ha and then he tells us what Marty said at the party Which is also lovely rhyme wasn't very nice But what do you expect? So then Joe is saying something and I was like hey look at me in the eye when you talk and Joe's Joe's like, I don't know what a dick or whatever So they have like this simmering thing. We're still feels awkward to me I don't know. I still was like this simmering thing, which still feels awkward to me. I don't know. I still was like getting weird vibes. Like, are they really mad or are they playing

mad right now? I just could not tell. I think that they don't like each other, but they probably would have just done the normal guy thing ignore each other. Everyone's trying to make them fight at this party. So Jack is like, you know, because they're still talking about any else. She's like, I understand that I don't know where as well and marker Because here's all I'm saying well, we're all together. I don't want to be about her girls What how do you feel? I'm most like yes, she makes me mad and then you know This one goes nuts around her and then this one's over there throwing red wine, you know, it's insanity

Okay, maybe if we hang out with Danielle we should just do it away from this group of girls and Teresa goes because and yell, we should just do it away from this group of girls. And Teresa goes, because I don't know what Twilight Zone they're living in, but that's not happening in this Twilight Zone. I'm like, usually when you say someone's living in a Twilight Zone, you don't then imply that you're living in a separate parallel Twilight Zone. That's not how the Twilight Zone like, that's not how it works. It's like you're on earth there in the Twilight Zone But I like that she's like I'm gonna Twilight zones too, but mine's a different Twilight zones

So then the belly dancers come out to you know give Joe some fresh meat to sexually harass Yeah, he's like I love this culture so So she's like Jennifer makes a speech, she goes, Can I have everyone's attention please? Can everyone stop looking down at the premise, small, the most beautiful view in the country, better than Oklahoma?

Attention, attention, yo, yo. Anyway, it's been a great 16 years, and here's to 16, or 20, or 50 50 or 100 more years and feels like 60 more. Yes, I love my my girlfriend's I'm in my wife Know it's funny that was those were actual strip ups on my part, but they actually work. I love my wife so much 60 years and he goes I only have eyes for you Queen Hey Queen let's get some more orders up in this bitch Queen yeah and then she's like you see we have our ups and downs But at the end of the day it seems like there's something to the setup marriage thing because it works for me I'm like does it does it really If you didn't love me. I'm like, does it? Does it really?

If you didn't love me so much, why would he call me queen on the time? All the proof people are in the back like, just wait, love you too, that's. So Teresa and Daniel, so there's a bunch of people in the kitchen and Teresa and Danielle are going to go have a chat outside and there's more mutterings from Marge's husband saying that, you know, Marty's a dick and he was great until Danielle twisted his balls and ruined him, which I'm like, sorry, like Danielle is a terrible person, but like, let's, you know, Marty's a grown man, like he became a dick on his own. All right, like he knew what he was getting involved with. Let's not put this all on Danielle and don't make me stand up for Danielle, but I will in this case

Yeah, so Danielle is out talking to Teresa and she's like I've only seen what math room So I mean I hear they're 16 and she gets yeah, yeah, it's real pretty So The tree We're in the twilight zones, okay? I like the tree. Ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne- So, Theresa, of course, immediately tells Daniel everything that the girls were saying. No, the girls were saying, you're like, you're like, toxic and stuff and that like, you're always the one studying the dramas and stuff and you're toxic and, you know, you're like asbestos, whatever that means.

I guess that means you're like my bestest friend, I don't know. You smell like wet card boys, something, I don't know they would say and stuff and she goes I know what toxic is and that is bonk or it Joseph's I was like oh good one Hey, does somebody have a meatball? Yeah, please So then inside she's like Yeah, she's sorry. Sorry. We had a little blurb go say we know Yeah, but Daniel's like, Margaret Joseph is nothing, but a manipulative malicious bitch.

And I'm going to say it's extra slowly for you Theresa. She's the toxicity in the group. God, that's say it after me. She's the Jesus toxic. Jesus toxicity in the group. In the grip. Okay. Blink, blink. Jesus toxicity in the grip in the grip okay

If they want to drink the cool a little bit, but no one tells to reset you nice what's it? No one tells the reason June let's turn your head Turning all right turn it back to me all right going And punch a bitch I'm going and punch a bitch I'm panicking Who is Margaret Joseph's to dictate the Theresa Jew dice, okay? Is Margaret say it again? I want to remember who is who is Margaret Joseph's Master Joe's no Margaret Joseph's Margaret Joseph's, okay, got it. And then she's like, you know what Theresa, history is repeating itself.

And we see like a, you know, a flashback to Caroline Manzo telling Theresa and season one that Danielle's crazy because of the book that they found. And you know, so now like, we are not, it's hilarious because Danielle is basically saying, we are not going to let them manipulate, manipulate, manipulate you, which of course Danielle is doing 100% to dent too. Again, and what Caroline said back then was, when someone's that nice, you got to want to why Theresa. And here we are with Danielle being so sickling nice to Theresa again, just doing the exact

same thing again, you know, yeah, he's like He will get in and I have like 10 years ago So then inside or Gorgas basically like Amping up this fight for the guys So I'm just do it I'm just imagining what it must be like to get into Teresa's head I feel like it must be like that moment that people discovered like the terracotta army. It's like, whoa. We were in an airport recently that had a nap center. Did you notice that?

No, I did not. You could rent a room to just go in and it's like soundproof and you take a nap. I bet that's what it's like walking into Teresa's head. It's like echo, it's like a planetarium and you and he's sitting in a chair and you look up, but it never starts So Dorgas getting this fight ready for the guys and Joe's like come on. We should probably go outside and discuss life, Maddie So then we see the girls, you know, just going all with the party Jackie's telling March She's like out of the corner eyes. I see my I get mixed I see my husband's walking in somelime and it's your mother and they start cracking. And then Jen introduces her interior design. Yeah, I can't believe

it even still lives in this country. Like you better find out. Yeah, this woman like she was conned. She was like I do not want to appear on camera and yes, I just heard I heard that down too. I just thought it was funny that the interior designer got a moment. It's like the worst job ever. Like how do you even get clients? I don't know.

I mean, I feel like she was hired by like, I can't even come up with a, with, I can't even come up with, with the comparison that expresses how terrible her decor is. I can't really, I'm just like speechless. I was like trying to do something about like guantanamo bay, but I was like, no. It was actually perfect because Marj had the best thing

to say. She goes, oh, so you went to China with her? Because she got all that furniture in China, and I don't know why that cracked me up. So Teresa's like Everyone says they're yelling toxic, but she's the one staying calm and keeping it classy like means And I'd be like, huh, and I walk back into the party like hey bitches here. I am a stance So now we get the boy fight so the boys around by the pool and Marty's like you said things to me and

Bimini that I had to defend to my wife. Yeah, you're jealous. You're done jealous. You're jealous. You're jealous. You're staring at Danielle's tits because your wife doesn't have it. Okay, she doesn't have the body that has. And Joe just goes, thank God. Oh, who says that? Who says you stare at my wife tits? Because your wife doesn't have any? What does Bullse that's crazy? Who says that? No, if I've had to, yeah, I don't know.

It was feeling fake to me. This whole scene felt very fake to me. I was very disqualified. Oh my God. Well, if it is fake, then God, that's terrible. This is what you come up with for a fake scene. My God. Well, then Margaret comes out and then Jo tells him what Marty said.

And she says, it's what you said. He says that about a man's life. I mean, he says that. And he goes, Marty goes, because I'm promoting the beauty of my wife, if it already has three likes on Marty's Instagram. I'm promoting the beauty. And so then Marge is like, Oh, she, you promoted by insulting other women. That's great. And he goes, yeah, you're coming

after me, you're coming after me again. And Joe's like, you're insane. He's like, get the little thing out of my face. Get him out. And he's like, I'm willing to come after you right now, bro. And he's like, give her a little shit and when you go home tonight She's gonna bitch slap you cuz you man that you a masculine him and then mark Everyone's a manasculate manasculated and then mark and Joe both just grab him and push him into the pool Which is fucking hilarious. I was like good. It was you it was hilarious But I still thought it was odd because it was like

He like they pushed him and he's like turning around and then like the camera like we never get like a full unentropic shot like it cuts from two different angles And like where they're pushing me in one point. He like falls in in a different point and like I don't know I feel like I fell in on the steps because you know how some pools have those built-in bars So it had that bar going around the pool. So they pushed him first onto that step and then they had to push him all the way to get him into the pool. Yeah, I feel like it was probably like a like, oh, we messed it up.

Let's do it again. So they had to cut in between the first take and the second take to make like one big fluid push in. So that's why I was just like, I was suspicious. I was like, I was suspicious. And I was like a little sad that I felt suspicious because I just wanted to be like present for the moment. Like to me, it wasn't as fluid and as amazing as when Mars just like through the wine and Danielle's face.

Like that was like, there we go. This felt, I don't know, I don't know. I'm sorry. Well, the best part, I don't care. But the best part of it was that she just, she throws her man in the walks back inside and passes Danielle. And she's like, you have I've spent to the pool.

Yeah. I also like, before even that happened after Marty gets thrown into the pool, Laura goes, that's not good. Yeah. And Melissa's like, oh no, ma'am great. And like, listen, you people have thrown glasses, thrown punches, started fighting public

where you can endanger other people. At least this was something semi-safed, okay? Like give me a break and it was something cleansing, which is like the opposite of everything else you people do. Exactly, and yet he always like, who threw my husband in the pool? Who threw her? Me and my husband Tika, and she's like,

oh, and you wanna hang out with that Teresa? You wanna hang out with that? And she's like, that's fucked up, Margaret, and you want to hang out with that Teresa. You want to hang out with that. And she's like, that's fucked up. Margaret, why you do that? Margaret's like, he said, he said the most disgusting file things to me. That's it. No wonder they're married. They're both disgusting. And she says, you throw wine, you throw her in the pool. There's a lot of throwing. Yeah. And then at that, at which point Teresa, who absolutely will not be manipulated, goes, I know you said you don't want me to keep bringing Danielle around, but she's gonna keep coming around because no one tells me who would bring around, not the

bring around. No one tells me what to do. I say it right, Danielle. No one tells me what to do. Oh, clearly she doesn't give a fuck about me. So keep your friend and Jack is like why would you want to hang out with someone like that? She goes you hang out with someone who throws wine and throws someone in that like bitch you went to jail. Yeah, no kidding. You went to jail and how many wine glasses have you thrown against walls?

I think last year you threw a cake and you threw a wine glass against a brick wall, okay? So please, you went to jail, you have a suit of armor in your basement for no reason, you have angel wings on your doors. To me, that's like 10 times worse. Even take out the jail part, the doors. Just keep it with angel wings on the doors, 10 times worse and throwing a husband in the pool

and throwing wine at someone, okay? Angel wings really second only to murder. And then she tells them, I'm bringing her around. So if you know my goodness, you don't come around. Which is basically telling them, she's staying on this show. Fuckers, so just deal with it.

Yeah, which I also approve of totally. Yeah. So, oh God, I just had a flashback. This is awful. You know when something random triggers, like, oh my God, I remember my dream from last night, I just remember a flashback. This is awful. You know when something random triggers, like, oh my god, I remember my dream from last night, I just remember my dream and it was awful. My dream was that I was hanging out with Kim Zolciac

and she was cool and I was like, oh, what do I do? Kim Zolciac is actually really cool in person. I was like, how do I reconcile this with all the shit I've talked about her? Thank god it was just a dream. God, no kidding, that's fucking terrible. Terrible, it was terrifying, terrifying. God no kidding. That's fucking terrible. Terrible. It was terrifying. Terrifying.

So anyway, so then Danielle is like, Marty is now like lumbered out of the water, like the swamp thing or whatever. And like, she's like, ah, the phone is ruined. The suit is ruined. His face is melted off. His headpiece is floated away. Ah! Yeah, she's going, she's just going off. Is that piece is floated away? Ah! Yeah, she's going, she's just going off like nothing this bad is ever happened at life. So then we get the ending cards.

Yeah. Cause everyone's just like, okay, that was fun. Let's all go home. Yeah. Good season, everyone. Bye. So Margaret got a facelift finally. Yeah. Jackie and her sister went to lunch a couple times.

Like wow, we're talking about this. We're talking about this great time, guys. So, Laura's is, Laura says before her card comes up, before her card comes up, Laura says, geez, I'm always standing alone. Yeah, everyone just left her alone. I'm gonna becerated all over again.

So, Laura says looking for an apartment for like her. Yeah. Her 19,000 pets. Yeah. And then what I liked about it in Melissa, her DNA results came back and just guess what? She hasn't found a sister, but this is why she likes pasta so much. She's 97% Italian. And Jennifer is

planning a big fat Turkish wedding and bill hopes that he can spend time with his family and guard the tequila but i thought was funny he has that like everything is like oh to loris looking for an apartment uh... jacquian pop-up mitspa mark a face lift to recent out the devastating news that you'll be important to italy upon release from prison

and i was like, whoa, whoa. It was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, So that was it for New Jersey. Next week we'll be back with the reunion. But before we wrap up today's show, something that we forgot to do yesterday. So, Mazda will do today. Why don't we do a little quick listener spotlight, Ronnie? Shall we?

Go for it, nice. All right, let's do it. Let me press a button here, right? Right, perfectly timed for me. When I said, let's listen. And spotlight! Okay, were you able to hear that, Ronnie? right, right perfectly time for me when I said let's listen. Spotlight! Okay, were you able to hear that Ronnie? Yes sir.

Okay, I always got to check, I always got to make sure we're very high tech operation here. So this week's spotlight, by the way, if you want to do listener's spotlight go to patreon.com slash watch where crap ends and sign up at the listener's spotlight level or above and you can send in a little, a little audio thing and like two minutes telling us about yourself, et cetera, et cetera. This one is from Ali. I haven't actually listened to it yet.

So this is gonna be, I mean, I never listened to them before and I would like to be surprised. So this is Ali, everyone. Hi, Ben and Ronnie. This is Ali from St. Pete Florida. This is my first time crap in Spotlight. I was just at your Charleston show the one on Friday night and it was such an amazing time. I was sitting right behind Patricia and I got to meet both of you at the meet and greet and

you both are the most kind, loving, funny, humble people and it was just such a pleasure to meet you in person. Unfortunately, I got really sick during the show and I had to leave and go back to my hotel room, but as I was leaving and getting into my Uber, I walked directly into Catherine Dennis, and I wanted so bad to pull myself together and go back in, but it just wasn't going to happen. So I ended up missing out on all the fun that night, but still the time that I was there was just amazing. And luckily when I listened to the podcast back, I realized that I didn't miss as much of the show as I thought I did.

But it was just so awesome to see you guys, and it was so awesome to be in Charleston, which makes me think that the thing I'm looking forward to most this spring on Bravo is going to be Southern Charm because it's going to be interesting to see it from a different perspective now that I've been there and I know the area. It's also going to be interesting to see how everything plays out with Thomas and Catherine, who is just killing it now and I'm so happy for her. I'm also hoping that now that you have this new found friendship with Patricia and Michael that she might give some silent nod or some sort of fly shout out to watch what crappens that only us would get. I'm so hoping that she does that.

But anyway, I'll go ahead and I'll wrap this up, but I just wanted to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. I know I speak for a lot of people when I say you get us through some really, really tough times in life, whether it be stuff at our job or stuff going on at home. And I just, I love you guys. And I'm so proud of you. And I'm proud of your success. And just keep on keeping on. Bye. Thanks, Ellen. Thanks so much. That was awesome. I love this honor for boys. It's a very crisp So much. That was awesome. I love this on of her voice. A very crisp and clear. I like that. I wish my voice

were crisp and clear like that. Thank you so much for that sweet lady. That was a really, really fun show. I read about the Facebook group. I read in the Facebook group when you were saying that you were real sick and have to go home. That sucks. I know I'm sorry, but you're right.

You actually did not miss that much. You got you got the Joseph and you got the best part, which sucks. I know, I'm sorry, but you're right. You actually did not miss that much. You got the Joseph, and you got the best part, which is the beginning, when everyone is coming on, with the music and everyone cheering, in terms of the energy at the top of the show is always so great and exciting. So we're so glad you were able to make it.

It would be really cool if Patricia included an Easter egg for Crappens. I don't know what that would possibly be, but it would be cool. So who knows. But yeah, I'm excited for that to come back. I think it's coming back in like May or June somewhere around there probably because clearly like Bravo has a whole bunch of new shows premiering in about like two weeks or so, two or three weeks like the new turnover. So I feel like the turnover after that will be Southern Charm. Yeah, hopefully. Hopefully.

So everybody we will see you tomorrow for a little top chef talk to you then until then. Good bye Kyle! [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.