Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Hatchet Face Off

Episode Date: November 16, 2018

It's a hatchet party on Real Housewives of New Jersey. Who will Danielle take out? This week's bonus episode is a recap of the Shahs of Sunset season finale! To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah tees avail until Nov at www.CrappensMerch.com. Free Shipping on orders over $45 until Nov 26 with code FREESHIP11d3fb97 You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but we don't want to turn around. We can't just go out. Hattens hurt there so much that it happens. Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Hey, the Parker, the Parker Soros.

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Kelly Grant big rant master give them hope miss no well the incredible edible Matthews sisters and Lizzie Drucker a fun Incredible edible Matthews sisters and Lizzie Drucker a fun motherfuck we love you guys Hello and welcome to watch what crappens the podcast about all that crap We just love to talk about on ye old bros. I'm Roni Keram. I'm also on the Rose Creek's bachelor rest and here I am with The Gorgeous Men mantle car Oh, Ben! Hi! How's it going? Ben, you've been very mean to me on Ritor online saying I've been fired!

From the real house, that's the Beverly Hills! I can't believe we forgot to mention this yesterday! Oh, Lisa Vanderpom! Oh, allegedly leaving behind the show to go find the ghost of Nanny K. Not that any of you would know who that is, because you don't listen to me, Kaya. Oh, dear. Lisa Band-a-Pom, hold on, I don't want this show without these Zerandra. I quit. I quit the entire cell I mean I also don't want her to leave

but I also feel like like something's got a little stale on Beverly Hills I don't think that least of an a me the one to leave her name rhymes with final pitchers America pain Oh Score eat Score eat Yeah, so the rumors that Lisa found the pump was leaving she's had so much drama and and in the wake of her No pun intended, but her her her her brothers like untimely passing She just like was not able to deal with the drama because she apparently had a big falling out with Kyle over do you remember what it was? Because she got to read a dog through Vanderpromp dogs and then to reach the dog's bit her kids and then she returned the dog or

gave the dog away and then whoever she gave the dog away to like gave the dog away to kill shelter I mean something something dog is something dog related. Hmm. Right. Which listen here. So I listen to the only person worth listening to her name is Barbara Walters. Well, apparently Lisa did not go on the cast trip to France and Denise Richards also did not go, but that's because she was being evacuated for the farthest farthest farthest because Camille was involved with you know Camille lost her whole house in this forest fire which is crazy yeah her whole Malice I was wondering about that actually oh so our muasguette to her Yeah, it's been a crazy time wise go at to her

Why is it going to hurt? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So yeah, scary times every here, everybody. So that's the news that everybody dealing with that. But all of a sudden, I blame Kyle. And I'm sure that I'm correct. So I guess time will tell who's right on that one. But today, who cares?

Today, we're all about all the simmering drama of the real house lots of New Jersey before we get into that though go buy your Christmas shirts. Oh, okay, there's also Ramona leggings Ramona S Santa Claus and there's a Hanukkah shirt even this year called Happy Ramona. So go get those over at crappensamurch.com or over in our regular watch what crappensight there's link store store you can get free shipping over orders of forty five dollars so do that because it's like gone in like a week so hurry

seriously hurry up and another thing has been and I are both live streaming once a week on TV party app but you can get on your iPhone or your Android and basically we just I mean we can change it up we can do whatever we want but I'm week on TV party app, but you can get on your iPhone or your Android. And basically, we just, I mean, we can change it up. We can do whatever we want, but I'm enjoying watching a TV show with you guys and just kind of driving through it and you guys comment and it's super fun. Yeah, we've been doing them. We've basically been doing them for free. But we are going to start doing them.

You know, we, we, the whole plan is to do them for our Patreon supporters. So we're probably going to start transitioning from the free stuff. Just think of it like an HBO preview weekend to like, you know, access only to our Patreon supporters. So that's going to be happening soon because we want to make people feel like they're getting their money's worth, et cetera. So to know who knows Arco, over get the app, TV party app, and then just search our names. I'm at Ronnie Caram, and Ben's at Ben Maddleker. And if you follow us, it'll alert you whenever we're coming on.

You can also find out on our Instagram or our Facebook group, which is watch what crap in this live and loving it. Yeah, so that's what's going on. And I might as well just add one little thing, which is that I've decided to start up a cookbook podcast. And I'm going to talk about cookbooks, because a lot of you were very, very kind,

and you guys got me a bunch of cookbooks over the past few months. And I realized I love cookbooks, and I feel like there's not enough discussion about cookbooks, so that's going to be coming soon. I've decided to tentatively call it Cooking the books So, um, yeah, everyone look forward to that. I'm gonna I'm just doing it myself It's just me because I'm too lazy to find another co-host and I don't think I could ever get a co-host That's as funny and great as you

So why Just cut the crackers and make some lovely Pemented to skip to go with it So why you just cut the crackers and make some lovely Oh, if only there was a sir cookbook oh sexy unique recipe is for all of mankind There would be a picture of chef Penny winking sexy Lee above every recipe Ah sexy recipes from the heart! It's anyway, I'm going to, I already recorded the first episode, I'm going to do like two or three more episodes and then I'll start putting them up on, who knows where, I don't even know how I'm going to distribute it, I need to just show it or, but anyway, so look

forward to that everyone. Yeah, cool, awesome, congrats. Thanks, congrats on doing something for yourself Ben. Yeah, Ben. For real. You yourself, Ben. Yeah, Ben. For real. You're showing motivation. Yeah. But who?

Oh, and everybody bring Ben presents because there's 40th birthday's in Nashville, so come on. Let's do it up right. Please, please, please. So speaking of cookbook authors, let's move on to the tales of Teresa, Judyise, and crew. Over in New Jersey, this week's episode opens up with Joe and Melissa's kids throwing balls at them. They're like playing around and they're like play room slash exercise room and they're

like throwing balls at Joe and Melissa's like, not on my walls, not on my walls. I'm like, bitch, you made a play room. Let them throw the ball at the wall. If you don't want the balls on the walls, why do you have all those balls around in the first place? Yeah, or Joe? Or Joe? He's probably put his balls to go on the wall. Yeah, Joe's balls have been all over this wall. We all know it. Okay, so why don't you stop trying to like pretend you're something else? You're not Melissa? Okay. All those hearts he printed on the wall, those aren't hearts. He just dipped his ball, pegged him, pressing

him up against the wall. Oh, we also get tag lines this week, which we didn't have last time, right? Well, I only got to see one because my daily bravo glitch occurred right at the top of the show and just like skipped over pretty much all the tag lines except for the last one. Oh, for Christ's sake. I know. What do I have to do everything on this show? Yeah, kind of.. Well here they are Mean proof Margaret Joseph says I

Could make you laugh or I could make you cry your choice your choice. Okay, you would laugh you would cry I could make you do either. What do you want? It's class much. Let me just Melissa says don't try to bully me because I'm a boss. Okay, your restaurant closed and I think you're sorted to you. So be quiet. Yeah. Rookie Jackie Gold Schneider is keeping count with her witty tag line. I have four kids, two degrees and one kick ass life, which means she's going

to take a kick ass class and build her whole season around it. And she can do very like rudimentary math. Dolores Catania, which I really wish her name was Dolores Cantina because I have like a slight dyslexia and every time I see a cantina I say, oh my god Dolores but it's not. Yeah, I would love to go to a I would totally go to Dolores Cantina. A hundred percent I would go to Dolores Cantina. A hundred percent, I would go to Dolores Cantina. Wait, two, like drink plans for your future kitchen. I'm pretty sure that when I was actually in Sicily over the summer, I think I saw things

that said Katania. I think there may be, actually, I think there's actually a city called Katania. And the entire time I wanted to take photos and be like, look, Katania. And then I was like, this is so stupid, man. Like you cannot do this. Tobado, tomato, Cantina, Katanya, really fake. Let's call the whole thing off. I said it there.

There. Get out. What's her tagline? I'm so lonely. I'm a discerrated. I would have loved that. I may put up a tough front, but I'll never leave you behind. I'm like, what are you in the army?

What? I know. I may put up a tough front, but I'll never leave you behind. Look, what are you in the army? What? No, I may put up a tough front, but I'll also put up some tiling, flipping out. I might put up a tough front, but it's only because I'm going to flip this house. I would have chosen a totally different color if I was going to live there. But you know, there's a lot of things going on.

I, you know, Frank's in Florida half the time. My kids are at us to school, and I'm alone. I just got tiles, and I got spackle. That's what I got. That's a little too long to luresice by the way speaking and flipping out did you see flipping out this week? Did you see that Lala was on it? I sure did Lala and Hermann man were on flipping out and They were choosing furniture and stuff and Jeff Lewis of course hated everything that what's his face chose? Hermann what's his name again Russell what's his face what's his name not Russell is a Russell root off the red nose

rainties name is right on the ring Randall like my name Randall I'm with an A and now I was like yeah it looks like this sort of apartment sort of looks I mean she goes it looks like this sort of furniture you have in an apartment I'm like bitch you were just in an apartment like six months ago, okay? Relax. Because that furniture looks like it belong. Oh, this table looks like it belongs to every guy I ever dated when I was really young. I was like, you're 12. What are you talking about? I don't understand the rush to get older. Like, look at me. I'm the woman of the house now. It's like, my God, please hold on to your youth. I also really enjoyed Jeff Lewis and Lala totally, like, they were totally sabbatico. Like, they were just like two peas in a pod. And that made me

like Lala more. I mean, I've always really liked Lala, but her and Jeff Lewis being on the total same wavelength, I thought was kind of awesome. She just says yes to everything. He's like, this is what we're getting. She's like, oh my god love it. Eat it. Love it. Make it. Do it. Buy it.

Also, it's easy for her to love it. She don't have to pay for it. More redels over in the background. Like no more. I still got kids in the next wife's people. Come on. How many more expendables movies do I have to make to fund this chair? Did you think I made the Incredibles because it was the expendables that I made I Made the incredible nothing credible. Okay. Oh my god. Now I got some accredite bills

Till you that Hey, you like that lot. You like that lot. I'm like her name is La La you can't even say the second syllable Yeah, it's like La I'm like her name is La La, you can't even say the second syllable. Yeah, it's like La. La. Hey, La. Hey, La. Hey, La.

La. Jeff tell us, you're going to need to make some more movies or whatever it is that you do because we're getting that time. Oh, also, I have to announce that he, Randall doesn't know what grout is. Okay. So that's what we're dealing with here, guys. Which is weird because I feel like he's the sort of person who once produced a movie called Grout the movie You know like you totally had like Grout one two and three and like number two had Sylvester Stallone for a cameo

Number three had Dolph Longrin and and Grout number four. They're like in negotiations with like I don't know, like the guy who played Kevin Sorbo, you know, Kevin Sorbo in, Grout for living Grout Loud. And Frank's in like the touring production. He's like the sad, the sad guest star. He's like, not the original dad. He's just the touring. Yeah.

Frank, he's Frank, he's in the stage show that they're trying to adapt just the touring. Yeah. Frank. Frank. Frank. He's in the stage show that they're trying to adapt. It's workshopping its way. If you Boston, I was thinking maybe we could change the name from Grout to co-mingling. Hey, can we change it to Grout, the musical? Grout. Grout. I'm not trying to do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, by the way.

I'm not trying to do that. I mean, I'll do it. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to run a joke into the ground, but I still can imagine Frank and Grout the musical, playing in Boston. Grout, grout. How do I get the Grout out of the house? The loris.

The loris. Okay, so that was the loris' line. And then Jennifer, who they didn't put her name up at the very beginning. I mean, I was sure they did during credits, but I didn't see it when she did it. It's green. I couldn't remember her name. And I just wrote turkey.

I wrote turkey for every I kept calling her new girl until they until her mom came on. They said, Jennifer's turkey. So if I call her turkey, I'm so sorry. It's because that's like literally how it's typing. I'm calling is stand bullshit on that. Okay. literally how I was typing a game. I'm calling it a stand bullshit on that, okay? What'd you say? Thank you. Thank you. It doesn't, you know what, your, your, your a stand bullshit. You're very friendly. You're, uh, you're placating noise was all that I deserved. It didn't deserve any sort of laughter. Oh, babe.

You know, you got it anyway. I didn't know what I was laughing at, but there you go. It was good. I could tell. I could tell it was like, you were doing one of those things. Like, I'm going to support Ben with a sort of laugh noise, but I don't either don't know what he's talking about or I didn't hear it. And I just want to make him laugh.

Or I'm staring at the middle of a goddamn Bravo TV page with these lines staring at me and I'm trying to get through them. Okay. Because if I don't look what else I'm doing. to make him a little bit of a goddamn Bravo TV page with these lines staring at me and trying to get through them. Okay, because if I don't look what else I'm doing. It's like, oh Tom Schwartz offered a revealing update on his marriage. Ah, still faking it. Okay. I just want to like read all these stupid headlines because you keep confusing me and make me serratate page. Just since he abandons my kill just for buzz. I don't care. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am I'm caffeinated and it's Friday and I'm loopy and I'm just like I see the finish line of our week and Normally that means let's run for it, but it makes me crazy. It makes me crazy and now here I am Making jokes making stupid puns about Istanbul. Anyway, what's Turkey's line? Oh my god, I love an Istanbul pun. I wish I heard that. Okay. So Turkey says, um, I'm obsessed with my family traditions

and Chanel. Gross. And then Teresa says she's literally obsessed with Chanel from Princesses Long Island. Like I love her. She's so great. She just spelled channel wrong. She just likes watching TV Or she loves bodies of water So Teresa says these days I don't throw his punches. I roll with them Cut to a cut to a shot of Teresa rolling a punch bowl down a driveway and then punching someone in the way The punches it's rolling. Okay. So we open up this. I'm sorry. I made it for Australia. I made life very difficult for you. It's just going to be one of those days, Ronnie. Deal with it. Okay. with the punches. Okay roll. Yeah, so

So G so we see like flashes of people doing different things. We see Gia's driving and she's driving no no and Teresa and she's like Gia go easy on the bumps. I'm getting an ass work at And she's like and she is like another oh the turn bike no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Dolores that's like so Dolores it's like her taking the dogs for a walk and she like steps out the door and she's like going to a locker and the dogs run off and she's like hey guys come on hey wait for me guys have you ever had your dog just run away from you it's eviscerating it's eviscerating hot god and then I got this this baby drug and a baby and a baby cart did you

notice you have like a baby stroller for her baby dog oh I, I did not know that. Oh, I was that's yes I didn't I was wondering what she was pushing around I'm gonna sit as price was so deloris and then Margaret and Joe were in the tattoo store. Oh My god, I'd be like to rush in lesbians get it tattoo. Okay. Here we are. We're a tattoo pilot. Okay, Joe So like oh my god, I have like 27 layers on okay, it's like call me Like you know what they should make a movie about this and put it on air plans just call it 27 jackets Okay, no, I'm saying cat and I go call me will make something work I'm just not too and we could have the little guy for fantasy eyelid coming in here

Well, if I put a can we do a tattoo of a jacket and do 27 tattoos a jacket? That's because that's what I'm like right now and then can Joe just be a little guy running back and forth going to play the played? I love that. I love that. He does it anyway. Instead of like fixing a part of living, he just runs around and goes to the plane. The plane. I'm like, yes, it is the wall's out plane except the big black and white stripes. She's still haven't taken down. I mean, literally, where's Jody? I'll tell you what's played, Joe, by face, which is why I want to do face like my mother. Because she's so excited. She's going to get a new face. Like why should she be the only one to get to the face like a lovely face classic barit's like

Mommy jealousy face Yeah speaking of face lifts. I mean give a face up to hospital guns like that transition because that's what I'm talking about now I've decided on talking about hospital guns now, you know, it children. They need better hospital guns So I'm just gonna make better ones. Okay, I can't like Joe literally classic much classic much I've got kids have hospital guns that look like animals They're gonna be like little castos. It's gonna be a adorable thing, Joe. Here's what my children's hospital gowns are gonna be.

Okay, like the first quarter, it's gonna be flannel. Flannel on the upper left, and then sequin on the right. And then left, it's gonna lower right. And then the left, bottom left, it's just gonna be wax paper. Okay, it's just gonna be like a quilt, a quilt of fabrics. So that was her, so over at Melissa's house. Wait, I just, yeah, nevermind. Yeah, that was really, I'm just gonna get a tattoo which is wedding ring.

Yeah, and he actually got it and didn't even react. I was like, do you know you're getting a tattoo right now? He's like, yeah, so I don't think you should get a face lip and they're like, it's like on the bone and he's like not even registering it. Yeah, so I don't think you should get a face lift and they're like it's like on the bone and he's like not even Registering it. Yeah So strong such a bad joke joke is such a bad joke. Oh good The one to face lift so Gino has graduated from sitting his ass cheeks on the counter

It's putting his foot on the table. It's a little fucker. Melissa's like, Gino, get your foot off the table. You hear me? And he's like, we hear you, Melissa. She's like, Gino, since when do you call me by the name? I mean, honestly, I mean, whatever. Like, those kids are... Monsters.

Monsters. They're so cute, but they're such monsters. And I'm like like, I'm very scared what they're gonna do when they're teenagers. So, um, now Jackie arrives in her first, like, real scene. She's, she arrives with like a gaggle of kids. And the kids are just like, is like, the circus has come into town. The little girl comes and she goes, can I put your dog? Can I put your dog? It's just like, most is like, wow. I love outgoing children and Mr. We have saying your child is wild already. I can already tell your child as well I know because she says it like five times. She's like I like outgoing children. She's so outgoing Wow isn't she outgoing. I'm like are you calling her daughter a little slut? Like what are you saying right now? Because you want you're obviously saying something, you know?

Yeah, there's a code going on. So like 35 children compiling into the house out of her bag, Jackie's mini van. I mean, it's just like, and they're all twins. It's like two sets of twins. We talk a lot about in this modern world about what's causing global warming, you know? Here's my answer.

IVF is causing global warming. Humans cause global warming. Do we need to be dropping 20 goddamn children each? Stop it. Everyone needs to read ish mail. Okay. Everyone read ish mail. And then you can reconsider what you want to do.

You ever read that, Ronnie? No. I mean, I saw you would like it. I was like, I was rough enough that you're going through right now. This tar. You would, you would like ish mail because you're, you're, you're feeling sympathy for animals and stuff right now.

So I think you would, they would really speak well, speak to you. It's basically about a guy who has a telepathic conversation with a gorilla for the entire book, but it like changes your life when you read it. I feel like literally done that. No, seriously, you should read it. I'm like not even joking. I read it in college and I was like, whoa. I don't know, man. That doesn't really sound like my kind of thing. Okay. I'm talking about. I'm talking about gorilla.

A woman as is it in danger? And does the gorilla figure out a way to become the hero, even though she was the victim in the first half of the book? Because like, I need like Gong gorilla. Okay. That's my name. Gong gorilla. Is the gorilla going to slice off Neil Patrick Harris' dick? Listen.

If only you know there's a place. Okay. No the gorilla's name is isch mail isch mail the gorilla I know I know people out there have read it. Please. I need I'm sorry. I haven't cuz I feel like I'm not being supportive of you But it's not that I don't want to be supportive. It's like you really I didn't eat it. I'll support other gorilla books Okay, that's it. I'm gonna give it to you as a gift. Curious George? There for that. Well, curious George is like, it's like, curious George is like, Ishmael when Ishmael was like a kid and went from being curious

to knowledgeable. Gross. No one wants knowledgeable George. Well, that's why he changed the dish there. Hey, where's the sense of whimsy knowledgeable George? Well, because basically curious George went to Burning Man and was like, you know, at George, I'm going to shed this name and I'm going to be a, and then a shaman was like, like a quote unquote shaman who's really like someone who works in tech and to scope and

then goes to Burning Man and is like, I'm a shaman. And the shaman was like, ish male. Your name is ish male. And he's like, call me ishmael, and then we all laugh. And then he like had like 19 STDs from Burning Man. I love this book. Okay, so the point is the dog is shit, all over Melissa's floor of course.

And the kids are like, Gross dog poop! I was like, how do you think the dog feels looking at all you monsters running around the house? Dog was, that's what animals do when they're terrified. Okay, this animal is like seeing the fateful stampede from the Lion King right now as all these children come running through the hallways.

And it's like, but, which is appropriate because then there's actually a shot of Antonia. I think it was Antonia. It was hoisting the dog up with like one hand and it was like the circle of life. Dog abuse. So Melissa and Jackie are just like the circle of life. Dog abuse. So Melissa and Jackie are just like sitting on the couch. I'm like, I refuse.

Okay, I'm thinking about poor Ishmael now. Well, you should read the book and then you won't maybe you won't really understand Ishmael. You rather than have a good one. I probably understand him. Why don't you learn him. Okay, I'm going to learn one problem, understand him. Why don't you learn him? Okay, I'm gonna learn Ishmael, okay? Stop you Monday.

Talk to you after the holidays, everybody. Because if you read Ishmael, then we can make jokes about imagining Teresa trying to talk to Ishmael and her not understanding his guy. Ishmael's like, you better lose more weight, bitch. Eh eh. So, so Melissa and Jackie, like, they're sitting in the couch just like glasses breaking

Smokas coming into frame and they're talking about kids and Jackie's like, you know what? I have a minivan. I'm like one of those moms the minivan But you know what though I own it like literally I own the minivan and I like going down There's like an old ice cream going back there and you're like whoa children, am I right? I'm literally that lady with a mini-veh, literally her. It's like, wow, you guys are crazy. So she tells us about the wonders of IVF, and I just feel bad, you know, for everybody involved. Mostly me, the person who has to deal with all your extra litter running around

the world. Exactly. So then they're yelling at them to set the table and stuff. We see Jackie at home. Yeah. Learning about Jackie. Well, it's about Jackie. Crazy kids.

Hey, wow. You know, we haven't seen on Bravo before. What a crazy world this is. I've got so many kids. Had you handled kids. And no, Jill. I've got so many kids. It's nonsense in my house.

My husband, it's the best husband of the world. He helps me Okay, he works finance in the city. I work at home as a journalist writing about parenting on a blog Like what? Someone I'll someone alert the Pulitzer committee. Um, okay, then we're journalists. Okay. Yeah, congratulations Watch out Brad's of L I did like that when she was like I wake up in the morning and I'm like I'm not gonna yell I'm not gonna yell and then They're going walk away from the Peters walk away from the Peters

She's like the journalism job. It's a loaded topic parenting and a lot of times people don't agree with my Viewpoint they say I'm a terrible mother. I don't know what I'm talking about, and I should leave the country. Well, I, fortunately, invite you to go fuck yourself. Mike, well, she's at least got the right attitude to be on the real housewives show, because if you think you were called a bad mother before,

just you wait, Henry Higgins. Yeah, just you wait, okay? So yeah, so here's, now we're back. By the way, we don't even get to see the famous minivan. And the reason why I think it's sad is not that minivans are sad. I just think it's sad that she hasn't upgraded to an SUV like every other like everyone else, you know? I think it's sad when people are like, that's my personality. Like, let me tell you a little bit about myself.

I have a minivan. It's nuts. You know when I was a kid I wanted a minivan so badly like when your kid minivans are kind of the best thing. They're so big. When we got a minivan I literally mean my sister acted like we just like one our own private island okay yeah cried I mean they were so crying involved. It's like hallways it feels like there's hallways in there. There's so many rows You like to walk around you feel like you're on a plane You like you feel like there should be a stewardess back there and when I was a kid You know what I wanted so badly. I wanted my parents to get a Pontiac Voyager. That's all I wanted I was like get one. They're so big. I thought of like all the

I thought like the little the arm rest with a coffee like, not the coffee, but the cup holders in them, little tables. Uh, well, if you wanted gigantic Costco size bags of Cheetos, just, I understand Costco. It's like, all I needed to do is watch this show because I go in there as a single person and I'm like, what is this? What is this? This looks like a torture room. Like, who eats like this? But then you see this and it's like,

oh, there's like literally 300 people in this house right now just because everybody brought their kids over, you know? And then I understand the huge bags of Cheetos and stuff. And then we see like one of the little boys like pick up one of those giant bags of Cheetos or Bugles or whatever it was. And you just like hoist it on his back. Like it is a grain bag. I mean, he was like going off to the mill.

Yeah, it's like a longshoreman for vehicles. He's like, hi, ho. Hi, ho. Yeah. This is the scene where Melissa, they're showing you like the flashbacks from the scene where she's like, my sister, don't worry about the mess. You should see when my sister-in-law comes over.

Yeah, me and my sister-in-law years ago, we used to butt heads. It was a horrible, horrible time in all of our lives We'll never do that again never do that again Never and Jackie has to play dumb. She's like oh Teresa. I haven't met him much. I don't know much about it So she's married to your husband. I mean she's sisters with your husband, right? I'm like I think marriage your husband marriage to Joe is actually a pretty accurate description They do sort of act like a married couple. Yeah, insane criminals named Joe. Okay, take it. Yeah, it's Jersey Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court

I'm that Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. The crap that's commercial.

So speaking of tree, we then go over to the nail salon where tree and no no and geah have arrived and we learn that tree is going to be hosting Easter which is weird because in the in like the stock footage of like Franklin Lakes or wherever they they were showing like snow and signs up that said seasons greetings so like could you like just try to have like keep your your b-roll like consistent with the storyline. Oh yeah, that's weird. Did you notice that too?

Nobody knows. Now I do. Yeah, now I'm like, wait a second. What? Now I'm confused. I don't know where we are. What time do these? Where the heck am I? You get lost in notes.

What's that? Did you get lost in your notes? Now I've just lost in the timeline of Jersey. I'm trying to think of when they started shooting. It's like inception. Yeah, it's like a bad show. The dance long show with another bad show. Yeah, the nail songs are going to start twisting and rotating,

and they're going to be like, whoa. So, yeah, so they're sitting there. And of course, they're getting like pedicures and manicures and stuff, and like a lady, one of the nail techs has like a tattoo of her mom's name and Trees like, he dads, ha, look, she has, she lost her mom too. Ha, look, she has tattoo, ha, ha. He's like, oh, I'm trying not to remember

why can't I go anywhere without my stupid daughter reminding me I get petty cure So they're complaining shoot Teresa thing I'm ill-bath and no no He's lonely the other day he complain my brother in a round. I mean, I understand he works a lot and she was like, that excuse is so old, mom. We all live in the same town. Yeah. The guy at least I boba for a glass of wine. I just don't want my brother to have any regrets because before I went away, it's the camps like I was spending lots of times with my mother and I wish I had more times with my mother and then one's they got to the mother.

Something is rubbing me the wrong way with all this, Ronnie. I don't know if you were getting the same vibe, but I kind of feel like there's this, I feel like she's putting Joe on blast in this weird way on the show and we're like meant to be like Joe's being a bad son, but I feel like there's some weird manipulation that's happening. And I don't like. Exactly. I'm saying fight that was before.

It's what the fight that they started with and they even show clips of it later. The whole reason they were fighting before was because Teresa was spending more time with the parents than Joe. And then the parents were guilt tripping Joe and then Joe was getting pissed so he wasn't going over there and then Teresa was, I mean, that was literally their whole fight. Well, also Joe wouldn't go. So the other thing is that because Joe Gorgah was a dick to, I'm sorry, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe Gorgah. So he and then Teresa was a dick to Melissa. And so Joe Gorgah and Melissa were like, well, we don't want to hang out that much.

And then the parents are like, why are you going there? And so then there was that whole thing. So yeah, it's like the same thing over and over again. But there's some weird, but I mean, I kind of get the feeling like No No has just been, he always like, has been like, I think he's always been like, shooting on Joe Gorgas.

His whole life. And so Joe Gorgas like, I'm gonna spend more time with Dad and he spends more time with Dad and Dad's like, oh, you never meant to anything No! And now he's like, you know what I'm gonna just sort of like step back a little bit. Yeah, I think No never meant to anything, no! And now he's like, you know what I mean? It's just sort of like a step back a little bit. Yeah, I think No No's kind of,

and look, I think No No's sick right now, so, you know, feelin' like he's going to go out to No No, you know, but just talking about the jokes, stuff to talk about the jokes, people's issues. I think it's okay. Okay, but, yeah, No No, I get the impression in this that he's a huge shister. He has the same crazy eyes that he gave his children when they get mad.

You know, when they get mad and their eyes pop out, he has those same eyes. He's drinking a lot and he gets very upset and he's a shister. It's like, your brother never comes to me. So it only counts if she says something in front of no-no to Joe, then the kids start fighting and then he's just sitting in the middle like he's the big victim You know, yeah, he's like a bit of a sister and then when they showed the clip from the Christening when

Joe's like why are you doing this to me? You're my father You're my mother. He's like go cry to your mother. Yeah, like this is never screaming This is just a screaming fighting family. Yeah, that moment at the christening, that was like a window into Joe's childhood and like years and years of like verbal abuse, he probably endured. So I think it's, I think this issue is more complicated than just that Joe is busy and not calling no, no, no. I mean, he really, I mean, he should call his father and the dad's old and he's still mourning.

But I just feel like, I feel like we're being set up to feel a certain way. And I'm like, I don't know if I'm so willing to just like, co-sign this, like, oh, Joe's being a bad son. I feel like there's some shadiness happening. And I'm like pushing back. What I'm seeing is that Teresa's like, why am I stuck taking care of all the fucking parents, okay?

Well, there's that too. Why is No-no have to live with me? I have to deal with them 24 hours a day and you don't even come, it's like take your take. The kids are finally old enough to leave alone. Now I've got this one, gilting me if I'm not home. You take him for a little while. I'm sure my sister's gonna be very upset

when my parents were old, because she stuck with them. Bye, Zuckler! Bye. Bye. Anyway, so then we go over to like a tile store and Dolores and Frank are there and Dolores like, Hey Frank, your eyes are so blue today. Frank, why are you so blue? Huh? Is it because it's Florida is getting your eyes? Is it because of the ocean?

You spend a lot of time in Florida. I'm all alone up here. It's a viscerating. I'm alone. I'm sad. I'm scared. He's like, complimenting I'm going get you the the grout you want okay kid You're not gonna get the tag you're like just cuz you compliment me, you're right Hey, Zalus, what do you think about this one? You like you like this one crank put that tie away get that out of my face Why even showing me that Frank? Why why why I'm like well, and he's like yeah How about I just sit here and hold my dick has that huh huh? Why don't I just do that in this partnership, you want to fight Frank?

And he's like, hey, man, they're like, what really love each other? You know, it's been like a one day at a time thing right now, getting to learn how to work together. I mean, yeah, it's been about 20 years since we've known each other, but now we're really getting to know each other. And it's good. You know, I'm glad we had that talk when he said he was this bad because that was a good first step. It's very important.

That was a very important first step. Member, don't ever forget that I told him on camera. I didn't appreciate him lying about being despotments. Yeah. So they start talking about Danielle stop. And you know, she like they're talking about Margaret, they're talking about Danielle, stop, and Dolores doesn't like that Danielle's

like asking around about Frank getting disbard and stuff like that and you know, talk about like how weird is that Margaret's friends with her, et cetera. And Frank is pretty much like, yeah, well, you know, it's not gonna last for a long. I mean, look, look what she's done with everyone else. She's gonna get pushed away. It's not gonna last for a long. I mean look look what you done with everyone else You're gonna get pushed away. It's not gonna last for long. Yeah, look people stay the same except for me

Because I'm totally never gonna cheat again, and I'm never gonna come angle. Okay, that's all in the past now But then yeah, we'll keep repeating, you know, which is right, you know Dan is gonna have a fucking problem with everybody and I'm also right Frank will cheat on you and do some shady business shit again And you'll have to forgive him for the 19th millionth time. Cause guess what, is that human beings work? Okay. Yeah.

So then we go over to Danielle's house and Classic Marge shows up. I like that Classic Marge is way of kissing people. She does that like bump into your face thing where she comes in hot. She's like, hi, hi, hi, how's it going? She just like hits your face and there's like a bounce off where it's like, oh, and like she does like, she puts her like

lips. When she does her kiss, she like makes like the kiss face, but then she moves her lips to the right. So it's like, you know, and she like, she just hits you with a side that the lips are not. And she's like, sorry, I just hit you with it. I just hit you with it. I can't control it. She's like a bumper car, kisser. I like that. She's got so many different kinds of fur. This one looks like a sharp A dog It was it was a very specific kind of a dog. I mean, I just felt Lisa Vanderpump's butt hole cliente up across No, I'm quitting all over again. No, I would like to announce I'm leaving the real housewives of New Jersey And New Jersey forever And New Jersey forever.

And New Jersey forever. So Margaret's like, all right, yeah, she's obviously what kind of see we're going to have what kind of see we're going to have. And Dan is like, I'm going to have some positive energy. You notice that Danielle has this kind of like muppet thing in her voice, especially when she gets mad. She has like kind of the she and I think in her voice. She's like a little bit like a little she and a bubble.

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out where it is. Like I can't find it yet until I still do an accent, but it's like somewhere else. I will find it, everybody. I will find it. So they're talking Danielle's talking about Dolores and she's like, you know, we said hi and we said, you know, we'll say, I guess Dolores said that. So I guess, you know, not everyone's meant to be friends. Anyway, just sort of like me and the manzo's.

They're just like terrible people. And I wouldn't want to be friends even if I had the chance to. Meanwhile, she pours the tea. I don't know if you noticed, the full on manzo checkerboard tea pot. Oh, snaple. Just got, she's like, put your like,

she makes salads. It's like, okay, single white cray cray. You sit down. I bought this cafe sign from a tag sale someone frankly late I put it up over my kitchen. I thought not that I'm obsessed with the manzo's So yeah, I love that she's like, oh, that was so strange, you know, I mean I don't understand why there's a problem with Dolores. Oh really you don't Cuz you started one Danielle so Margaret's like um, okay, I don't have to say this. Okay, don't freak out, but she's having a hatchet throwing

party and she invited me and all the girls. So, you know, and she goes, oh, when did you become bodies? Unless she gets like, muppety when they start getting really mad. Yeah. And so now, like, she starts just being ridiculous. She's like Danielle is like like she can't believe the Margaret is going to hatch it. And she starts saying things

like she's just being I think I think she says you don't have my background now. Maybe Marge says that whatever. But she's like you're my friend. You shouldn't be going to hatch the florist. Okay. You shouldn't be doing that. Okay. You're just more tea from a man's or tea pot, okay? And then Margaret's just looking at her like, she goes, you know, I say, let bygones be got bygones, she goes, you don't think it's real to be friends? You don't think it's weird that we're friends?

And Danielle just starts going over the top. She's going crazy and Margaret's like, I mean, we're not like a package deal, okay, we're not like two Twinkies Margaret's like, I mean, we're not like a packaged deal. Okay, we're not like two tween keys, all right. You know, we're not like like a bag, or like a hot dog, and then like another bag of buns. The hot dog's the button, so match up. Because what do they do that?

Okay, classic march. Joan would have loved that one, Rest in Peace. What do we tricks Buzz? What are we talking about? Oh, she goes, okay, look, how do I say this? Look, I know what I do, anything to hurt you. And Danielle's like, then you should have said no. This hurts me.

You're gonna say anything. You're gonna say, I don't know, I'm gonna hurt that yell. You're gonna say anything, baby, you're gonna say nothing. And it hurts me. And what do you guys have in common anyway? You cheated on your husband, she got cheated on, is that what it is? And'm an asshole and then Mars just I'll see you hurting you're hurting me because you hurt okay, I got it

She's that's what I do I heart what I'm hurting I wouldn't do this to nobody else come on I'm carrying nobody else things I care about you and you're heart me Yeah, I mean Daniel I mean Mars like, Daniel is trying to get Mars to act crazy and Mars is like, all right, you know, so I just, you just, you know, it's fine. I'll just sit here and take it and Daniel's like, yeah, man, you know, I do it when I'm hurt, you know, she's just sort of like dials down immediately and then she like brings it up again. She's like, because I know it's a people I can't love.

I know what I've got for my shoulders, like what do you want? Yeah, she's like, I love her, but what for the, she's said that because I only do it to people I can't look at. Margaret, you know what, I've got for a my shoulder. It's like what do you want? Yeah, it's like, I love her, but what relationship that's nothing to do with the other? And that's it, that's it. You know, like, what am I going to do about it? It's classic, it's classic, boy, okay? And this is classic, Danielle. And sometimes two classics come together that'll work.

Like, what are the little rascals going to be and I love Lucy though? That's the hour works. Yeah, it's like, you know, like, Jello and putting, of course, we'll have a hood about Jello putting past, but if you ever actually have Jello and putting together, it's not good. It's not good. So, Danielle just like storms off to do like the bathroom or something. And Marsha's let's rip herself out. Margaret just leaves.

You know, I'm gonna do, I mean, I'm just going down to the surprise. I was a bit down to the city. So, I love when Margaret just got her phone and left. She's like, didn't wait. She didn't even get her phone. She's like, oh, that Danielle's phone. Sorry. The dog's looking at her like, take me with you. Please.

So then we go to Stumpy's Hatchet throwing house, which is the rails of Hatchet throwing. And they, so Dolores is there. And then the new girl, so this is why I wrote. This is my note. New girl brings a supermarket tread critotase, makes me hate her. Yeah, because Dolores didn't get the memo

that you're supposed to take people lunch, okay? Apparently they don't have lunch at the Hatchet throwing place. So she's like, B-Y-O-F, Frank, bring her on Frank, all right? This lady, this lady, Turkey, aka Jennifer, she has literally nothing else to do all day. I mean, she's in this giant glitzy, gold, Rococo home, and then she's like, all she does is go to the nearest, you know, supermarket and pick up like a three-day-old thing of Tomatoes and celery that's in its plastic sills like she doesn't even try to make it look nice She just brings it over like talk about the least amount of effort of all time and then to make things and then this is even more like

I'm still mad and they know who walks in is Melissa and she has the same thing except with fruit I'm like you two are terrible You're just like spend Disgusting monsters about spend like ten extra dollars and go to at least a gourmet store and get a pre-made platter That at least looks nice not one that has that black tray in the plastic over it like you like you just picked it up While you're getting your latest box of tampons or something, you know Yeah, nothing says fuck you like a pre-cut vegetable tray from Ralph's. Yeah, it's like the most embarrassing thing. It's like the least amount of effort.

Like the only thing worse would be like the cheese and cracker tray from Ralph's, where it has all the little squares of like pepper jack. Now cheese is at least delicious. Like who wants you to care it? Yeah, no, I agree. It just was like, you're new. You're new Jennifer. This is what you're going to do.

This is how you're going to, this is your first like proper scene and you're new, you're new Jennifer. This is what you're gonna do. This is how you're gonna, this is your first like proper scene and you're gonna show up with some shitty crititais that are from like a standards you market. Like this is you, this is what, this is the best what you're putting forward right now. Don't accept that. I'm not sure about this girl.

So everybody basically gets there and they start throwing their hatchets and the deluras explains that they're supposed to like find something they're angry about, you know. Yeah, they're all like, she's like monologues. She's like, well, you know, I'm alone now, Frank's mainly in Florida, the kids are out of college. Well, we don't have boo anymore. We got new dogs. Mads, you still mad at me. So anyway, I'm going to throw a hatchet and that's that. And Turkey goes goes let's just cool it in empty nest hatchet she goes okay you know that's fine so never seen that's hatchet no life goes on but so do we just how we do it is no

mystery you know I dedicate this to dry fist alright like what are you gonna do where is dine a man off these days anyway she's like we're behind the counter I'm here with your hatchet rentals so Dolores is like, I'm throwing it. This is, I'm throwing this at the ugly tiles. Frank tried to make me pick. And then Turkey's like, well, here's what I'm gonna throw my Hatchet at. I had my kids, I fluctuate with my weight,

and you know, maybe I should start working out. I'm like, do any of you know how to just like make a short sentence and move on? Like seriously? Why do we need to have like, starting over sentence and move on. Also, like, why do we need to have like starting over speeches before every single like toss? Is this how it's going to be bowling? I'm going to roll this ball in honor of my friend, Colleen, who recently had a hang nail that was very painful. And I hope she gets through it. This for you, Colleen,

wrote the damn hatchet, Roll the ball. Okay. We don't need like Yana, Yana Van Zant over here. Yeah. No one's gonna fix their life anyway. We've seen this damn show. Just throw the hatchet. So then we get the Jennifer, like now it's like, learn about Jennifer.

So we had, like, we go into Jennifer's life. She was raised in Queens and guess what? She wants it all, including apparently a marriage with a very possessive traditional man. Yeah, she's like, he's in the plastic surgery. So I enjoy luxury. I just moved into this new home. I'm like, oh, she just moved into a new TV show home, right?

Yeah, so the TV show. Attack, yeah. So you could look richer than you are to be on TV. This house is fagley, okay? Fagley I believe like we've seen fugly houses on these shows this house It reminds me of Leonard's in Great Neck and if anyone knows what Leonard's of Great Neck is then you know what I'm talking about It this is a disgusting house and she's like yeah, this is our new house. It has 16 bathrooms I don't know why we need 16 bathrooms, but the architect said we needed to have it I'm like are you fucking you?

The is and into a basketball court who wouldn't want that Me yeah, I don't want one Yeah, she's gross and then her kids seem really dumb her One of her kids is like what's the dinner? She's like roasted chicken. What's the dinner? Roasted chicken stupid chicken. What's been in a roasted chicken stupid? Um, so then she said she's like, yeah, my husband's a plastic surgery. That's how we can afford this house. But you know, I want an identity that's not the plastic surgeon's wife. Like then that's probably not how you shouldn't introduce yourself. Yeah. Exactly. Because the first thing she's talking about is her husband. She has a Turkish husband named Nebel but they just call him Bill

And he doesn't like cleavage Um or anything of that sort. He's apparently Just very like he's super super traditional. She has to stay home and wash the kids while he goes and carves up ladies etc Which basically means she's leaving his ass. He's not gonna be, he's not gonna be long for this world, this one. Yeah. So now we go back to the hatchet throwing and Marge. So Marge is wearing a flannel shirt. It looks like a flannel shirt, you know,

for like hatchet, like lumber or things, but the entire back of it is black and sequined. I don't know if you noticed that. It was crazy. It made no sense. Marge's outfits never make sense. That's why I love them. But this one was truly like how to make

an American quilt gone wrong. So Marges, like, okay, to get this, everyone, I'm gonna sit down while everyone stands. Okay, so guess what? I went to Daniel's house. I said I was coming to hatch it, throwing with Dolores, and she just like totally flipped out like went totally crazy. Like went to a different room and her dog was like, what's going on?

I was like, I don't know dog. Why are you talking to me? I'm a human. You're a dog dog. I was like, I don't get it either. We're like, oh my god. Classic match. But anyway, yeah. So Danielle's Danielle was like, well, you the only thing you're going to get along with Dolores is the fact that you would, you would you cheated on someone and she was cheated on I mean, can you believe her? And I'm like, you know, considering that you say you it's one thing. So like, say, listen, I love Danielle. I'm super, super close with her, but I can have two friendships, but she kind of just like went to a newer friend and totally talked shit about Danielle, who's allegedly her super close friend.

Yeah. Well, I think you get I think that once you tell somebody, what do you even have in common? You cheated on your husband, she got, it's like fuck you now. Like, hi, there's your true colors, bitch. See ya, Danielle's totally done now. That was a dumbest move she could have made. That's like one of the only people who will even speak with Danielle anymore.

And you just totally fucked it up, Danielle, okay? Well, Marge probably got the memo that Danielle was only a friend of and it's like what am I doing with him at times shooting with his friend up I need to be with the friends you know the reals the OGs so Melissa's like she quotes you with she that's like right to my face like right to my face it was that it was like in my face that that's where it was it was in my my face. And Dolores is like, well, maybe now everyone will start to realize, I'm right. Danielle will never change.

Great flooring in a bathroom is ridiculous. There I said it. Yeah, and you know what? Like, I didn't let it get to me because it was like, I was having a beautiful morning. Like, oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, that reminds me, Oklahoma. Did I tell you?

I'm going to Oklahoma. So I'm working on this like childhood like thing. Hey, let's all go to Oklahoma My friend Polly is gonna be there. I never want to meet Polly. Okay, she won't touch you. I don't want to crack it You know what you want. She wants some shoes. Okay. Alright Classic Joan. I've just got so much going on my mom's getting a face lift. I've got this kid hospital things I'm very emotional with the custody kids You know what? I'd love to be here with with with my mother, but you know those kids are gonna turn themselves into bears That's it I'm going

I don't think I even understand that but I like the idea She's turning all of their outfits into costumes. Oh It's gonna look like I've had two little animals running around the house So now here's the real fun stuff. It's Jennifer at home. So we're at this tacky ass mansion. And Bill comes home. And the kids are like drinking soda.

And he's like, hmm, not too late for caffeine. Did we get permission for that? Well, I asked my sister and then my sister asked my brother and then my brother asked my sister asked my brother asked my sister and she said yes. And he's like, we asking in dude. Okay, this is the face. Okay, this guy persists his lips and raises his eyebrows. And this is the sound he makes.

I mean, I can't do his face right now because there's no video, but this is what it sounds like to me. Mm. Yeah. He has like every cartoony villain, like every fake cartoony villain, like, oh, I've got a devilish plan for you. And he like does drag queen lit purse, where he's like, Mm.

He does. He likes the passive aggressive smile too. It's so like when Jennifer's like, so my girlfriends were all going to Oklahoma, they invited me to go on a girl's trip to Oklahoma for the weekend and he's like, oh, I hope you told them no. It's like, no, actually I said yes.

He goes, without asking. And then he gives like a grin like, you're gonna be in so much trouble with me. And she goes, she tells us, that is not, this is not a traditional marriage. You must be the home the whole time. But I just want to bring for my kids. I mean, it sounds terrible,

but I have to blame 16 bathrooms a day. He he he. It's like, oh, but now I have to come home early and I come to get my schedule. You know, I don't like that, don't you? Don't you? Mmm. Mmm.

And so, you know, I changed my schedule to last minute. Demick, Billy, so mad. Oh, it's guys such an asshole. Who he is the worst? He is terrible. Billy so man. Look, this guy is such an asshole. Who he is the worst. He is terrible. He is terrible. Right after Shane.

I mean, they're really throwing a man as fun, brother. This guy is like already 10 times worse than Shane. I mean, Shane is just like sniveling, but like I think we've seen worse than Shane. But this guy is whole man. This sucks. I was like, oh, this is why she got on the show,

because she has a horrific husband that we're all rally around in terms of being like He sucks and she goes well, what's the bottom line because she given me those eyebrows and he's like Would I guess we have to tell the kids that daddy has to change a schedule? And she goes, oh, thanks for letting me go. I was like,, oh yeah, you're really you're really breaking the chains there honey. Yeah Daddy has to stay home earlier She gets kids I'm going to Oklahoma and then her kid goes, but you won't make me happy if you go to Oklahoma I was like this woman. It's a nightmare, okay? Her kids are in nightmare her husband's a nightmare fucking bathrooms are in nightmare

Cruditay platter is a nightmare Okay, you can't slow Cruditay without you, okay? She's rude to take take I certainly hope you brought a nice plate of crudities to your new girlfriend's wife. Okay, so next up, Teresa goes to the gym and basically her trainers are March Simpson's sisters. Is it?

Is it? Oh, two non-smoking, two non- Simpson sisters. Yeah, Tara was like, you know, I have a hard time getting Theresa of Ginn Motiviz. I'm bringing in the big guns ladies and gentlemen. I want to introduce you to Tracy. I just say, all right, all right. Okay, let's see. What's coming? I got nine and a half weeks left. You got your training going on. All right, let me look at you. Okay. Okay, you're in bikini. All right. You're not tired enough. You'll be able're just a giant big fat ass right now. What is that?

Is that like a centimeter fat right there? You were eating lot all day long. What's wrong with you? So you've been fat person. And Teresa is like, so I got that red taking out. She was doing funny. All right, this ain't a joke.

Right now you're sending it like a big pile of shit. Right? Teresa looks amazing by the way. Like her body is better than my body for sure. And it's like, yeah, you're just like a big heap of rocks, right? That you want to win a competition. I'll tell you what, you're gonna win a competition.

You do the golden corral, mostly even food person leading ever at the all time. That's what you win. And that's pretty much it. Teresa just gets a brow beaten by terrifying, a terrifying woman. You ain't all that yet. And then she goes, she ends it by, you know, she says, you have three weeks to lose four pounds. Otherwise, I don't know. You're taking

it seriously. So that's the plan. Capiche, Capiche, which is important because them for the best leave. Later on, Teresa's like, oh, I did the plan. Capiche, like you told you still that from Tracy. And then the previous for next week, it was Melissa saying, you got that Capiche. You don't make this a thing. Capiche. So, uh, Margaret and Joe take Marge senior to the doctor in New York City to get her face done.

And it looks like a board that low. I mean, it looks like the Russian to your room. I mean, what is this place and uh... jet juggers i will feel pain right now giggling right now and margarine's like oh my god she looks like petty wise right now look at her look at her oh my god but about about the terrifying right now, Jesus.

And then I like when they're walking into the office, Joe goes, so we looked it up. Most of the people lived. Just hilarious. Joe, that's not nice, that's not nice. That's classic Joan. Oh no, oh no, it actually is classic Joan. Oh no.

So the doctor does those, that thing that we see on every plastic surgery. So where he just takes a magic marker and starts marking up her face. Do you think that do that just for fun? Do you think they really need that for the surgery? Or is just like a weird fetish, like, yes, time to draw on someone's face?

Just trying to make someone feel horrible about themselves. Yeah, so the Margaret's like, this has to look as simple as I thought. She looks like a road map. She looks like one of those trip takes you get from AAA, you know, I'm saying, I said, that's a triple later. Okay. I'm so, I'm so anxious. Yeah, let's go to a cafe. All right. So it's only supposed to take a few hours, but six hours later, uh, she's still in there. So they're really worried. But then she's okay after commercials. Yeah. And they're like,

though, you want to come see her? She's like, okay. Yeah, and they're like, though you wanna come see her? She's like, okay, yeah. And so, Marge walks in, she's like, oh, you know, she looks good. She looks great. And they cut to poor Marge senior. I mean, she looks like she was assembled out of various different volleyballs.

She looks like she was turned inside out. Yeah. And Marge is like, you look great, Marge. You look great. Don't talk about it. Don't talk. What do you say? What does she say? I can't. That becomes her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're like death becomes her. And it's like, I can't hear her. So senior starts writing with her finger in the air. She's like, yeah, I don't

know what that means. It's that you really do what that means? I'll never tell. I'll never tell. So I thought that actually Marcheaners seemed very lucid considering, you know, most, whenever we see these women getting out of like plastic surgery, they were like, hey, but Marchean was like, no, I just, I can't move my job, but hey, what's going on? I'm not kidding.

Santa Bedore traveled to the depths of hell for her non-invasive life. Ah! So let's see, Teresa is getting ready for Easter. And in typical Tritia Theresa fashion, it looks like she's an extra from Deadwood in the saloon. I'm like, this is Easter. Where are you wearing a front lace-up board

that'll load dress? That whole is going on in New Jersey. Uh, it's a question that has been asked for about 200 years. So, uh, Teresa's like, I just wanted to make like, better for my dad's ear. So, no, no, meanwhile, I was just sitting there getting drunk. He's like, well, no, not that Joey, you guys isn't here. I'll be the one getting drunk by the kitchen island. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo be like, hello, oh, you just called. Oh, that's so funny. But there was no one. I would love to feel worse for Nono, but

he's raised terrible children. Okay, Melissa had dogs in her house and Teresa has a full pad in her house. Does anybody probably that was from a long, yeah, that was from a long. Okay, then all this for giving so Melissa and Joe and the kids come in and like no no It's just giving death stairs and Melissa like least one this one my daughter and Loshi calls me dad no And let's see here Trisha then can't be here today Let's see here Tracy then can't be here today And Tracy's like watch out for dad cuz he's toasted cuz the dad won't speak to them. He's

So no, no, it's like so Joey goes up to me like you never called me you never come He's like, uh, well, you know that fuck you You never come. He's like, uh, well, you know that fuck you Nice so judges last and trees like nothing response. She's just laughing off job Your dad says he misses you just laughing on Yeah, yeah, and then most of like we just saw you He gets all game of thrones. He's like, you know, call me shame. Shame. We in town is coming.

A quarter, a two time son, this is that song. Oh, so they have to like hire you know construction workers to come lift this huge dish of pasta and take it to the table. Jesus. And Melania's like trying to take pasta from the bowl to her plate and she spells it all over the table and Melissa has to like come do it for her. I see guys. I literally don't even care. Where's my pad? This is throwing so it all over the place. And then Joe's like, oh, of course, Joe Gorgas, the most supportive of our tree, he's like, I can't eat that because I got y'all that by a lane and I ain't getting trained to do it. He's just like, oh, you can't even cheat.

You can't have nothing. Come on. It's a holiday. Eat something. It's a treat. Come out to reset. It's like, fuck off, dude. I know.

I'm going to starve herself. I hate when people are like that. I know. It drives me nuts. So No No has like this very sad moment. He's like, happy. He's talking to my wife. And he's crying.

It's like, you know, so sad. So, and then tree, of know, so sad. So, um, and then tree, of course, right in front of everyone, in front of like the kids, no, no, she's like, and no, no, he's just, uh, he's upset that you're only making effort to see him on the holidays and such, you know, a couple of each. It's like, come on. Like, it's just like, try, like, why are you trying to to do this right in front of everyone? It's so obnoxious. Well Melissa gets mad too.

She's like, we talk about this with the adults, whatever. We don't need to talk about this right in front of everybody. And she's like, yeah, it's like I saw a lot so much and it makes me see my brother only sees dad on the holiday. And then she's like oh god, so then Malice they try to change no no no no says oh my son doesn't like the past Ha ha and Melissa says oh we'll look all the grandchildren love it But his one cent doesn't like it. That's all that matters, you know, yeah, and then trees like well

You take the kid that's not around the most not that the kid you want the most I'm like Jesus Yeah, and that's when juggles what the fuck Teresa and it but the thing is this Joe has like his responses. I work so hard the bills They don't pay for themselves. I mean I have to work and work and work and then my only free time I have I got a jerk off so what am I gonna do? Work and not jerk off. I mean what do I do? I can't seem bad for that. You know what's like poison? It's like keeping poison inside. Yeah that being said like even though I think this is there's some weird bullshit that's happened to Teresa.

Would it really be so hard for Joe just to like call his dad? Like you can just do it. I mean I for me sometimes it's hard for me to call my parents because every time I remember to call them, I'm like, shit, it's 9 p.m. in California, which means it's midnight there. So it's like, I have to like really think about what I'm going to call. But they're in the same fucking town. Just call. Who's the nice thing when I get shit for not calling it off? Is your fucking phone broken?

Okay. There. There we go. If you go calling me and I'm not calling you back That's a different issue, but if you want to talk call me, okay? I can guarantee you I will not want to talk ever Okay, I talk enough. I hate talking. I just shut up. I want to be quiet Okay, I want I want to just like panamined things if that okay I get a lot of talking to be alert and he's a dog. I mean we're professional talkers and when we're not Doing that sometimes we just don't want to talk anymore. I'm sorry. So So so now like the kids are looking for at Easter eggs and Joe is just he's mad at Teresa because she's always putting him on the spot in Front of No- No, you know

And it's like not fun, especially when No No is drunk and feeling like being verbally abusive to Joe again So I'm the one thing I have to hear it all the time You know, I'm the one taking care of it. I'm gonna hear it and then G. Yeah comes in she's like yeah It's tree calls for it all the time. Oh she does yet. She's like, yeah, come on over here because I'm getting I'm getting like I'm getting bullied yes to against one. I need some backup. I'm like, you're bringing your daughter into this. This is not That's so Teresa. Yeah, so Joe is doing the same thing my business takes all my time And he's doing that thing with his hands. They're like he's like doing like like waving in the airplanes on the tarmac My business takes all the time and Teresa's like a G is like, the airplanes on the tarmac my business takes all the time and three

So like a G is like yeah, but we have to hear about it all the time Why doesn't anyone say to to no no hey like we get it we get it stop a no no we'll get Joe over here I guess it's the dad. I don't know why it's so difficult I just I get it all the time and I just say okay. I'll call more like the end Why doesn't have to be a big, huge fucking fight? Your dad is sad, he's sick, he's lonely. Just say, dad, I'm sorry, I worked too much. I shouldn't be thinking like that.

I'll make more of an effort. The end. Exactly. Like that fucking show. So it's gotta become a blood feud, you know? And the Melissa's like, I can't believe you did bring the daughter into it. She's 17.

I was 17, it's plenty, okay? I'm sure you were fucking Joe by that age. Like who cares? Like the daughter's a lot to like say call your dad more. I said to these people making that and I'm Melissa's like this is adult talking. She is like um, it's really not. I have to listen to this stupid like comment or every single day And all I'm trying to do is play candy crush So to then Joe's like, but I have no time. I can't be punished for that. And then Teresa's like, you know what? In life, that's how it is. Capiche. And that's that's where we left off.

That brings us to the end of the class you show on Bravo, the real housewives of New Jersey. Guys, it has been animated week week. We have rappers male bags, sir. What happens male bag is bad. Let's do it then, man. They actually have a lot of questions that we have still not even asked. Let's do this one, because this one's been waiting for like two months. This is from Norshimim who says, there is a trend on Bravo that fits really nicely with the fact that you guys do excellent Southern Lady Impression. So thanks, I wouldn't say that mine's very good, but it's stereotypical and that's all that matters. In honor of the real Mimaz of Bravo, how do you imagine a Sunday brunch with these Simmons, Miss Patricia, Mama Joyce, and Dale Mortimer? And guest appearances by Ronnie's mom are more than welcome because that's

always fun and she would destroy them. Feel free to derail and add other crazies from Bravo because I love when you derail. And then she says, soup's excited to see you guys in October and of question. Bye-bye now. Well, as it is now in November, we're glad we saw you last month. Oh my gosh. And it was good to meet you, girl. Yeah. So this is, yeah. So Sunday brunch with DC Mint, Miss Patricia, Mama Joyce, and Dale Mortimer.

I think Patricia would just sit there horrified. Yeah. With all of them really. A lot of these people, she's just ringing her bell and Michael's not showing up. How many times I have to ring this bell before I get a good Montenegro to run out this boss is around me and there would be like oh I just got a phone call face time from my daughter do me a favor Patricia don't mention eggs at any time while I'm taking this call okay.

Can anyone tell me while that crazy nutcrack over there is putting ketchup on the eggs, man, and it's, this is how we do it in Texas, okay? Oh my God, I think I was engaged to that man. I was engaged to that man. I think that was the 17th man I was engaged to. That's Michael. That's his name.

Get up. I don't give a rip. I don't give a rip what his name is okay All I know is that he is jealous of me It is hard to have brunch with people who were jealous of you You name he is hard and the mama Joyce we just throw a shit at someone. And then no, no, we'll just be outside like, ha! What is going on in the Bronx? What else is in that bag, man?

Daffy1227 says, Ronnie, what is the name of the CBD cream? You got your mom. I need some for anxiety. Maybe I can get someone to Ohio. No, I don't want to get high, just distressed to deal with these freaking parents parents nights at school. CBD is not for that. The one I got my mom is for pain and

I don't know the brand of it because I got it just at the weed store down the street, but they do sell a lot of CBD products. I would just Google CBD creams and see, because most of them will ship it to you, even though it's technically illegal. Huh. Hey. Just bring reviews. Make sure you get one where you can read the reviews,

because some of them I'm sure crap. But my parents are pretty happy with the one they got. But I don't know the brand, but I'll look it up next time I go get it for them. OK, and then here's the last question we're going to do for today. It's from Ilse Wolf who says, if there was a Bravo Games like the Olympics

with Bravo Labs representing their show, like it's a country, what would the events be and who would come out on top? What kind of flags and costumes would they have for opening ceremonies? Let's see, I think that Leanne Lockin would, she would obviously have the carny flag, just be like a Ferris wheel or something.

Or like- Do they have to represent the whole city? Like the city is a country in the Olympics. So like the real housewives of Dallas would be really good at, like, eye makeup. Yeah. Right. Because they put on the most eye, like eyelash lifting. Yeah, exactly. And then I would get,. I like I lash lifting. Yeah. Exactly. And land would get there was like, if there was like a competition in PTSD, be land. Land just win it. You just, you just have to sit on a sit on like on

chairs and just like cry about trauma from the past. Yeah. I have a house. I said Beverly Hills. What's the pettiest shit you could do? It's probably like Easter egg hunting like it's just something so stupid It's probably like a game of telephone. I heard that you said that you think that she wants to be better friends with me But I want to be better friends with her you get the gold Thank you Which other ones are there real housewives of New York? Cabaret!

Hit it boys three two one. I got the gold and not only did I get the gold I'm singing my own anthem. I got the golden scales. Whoa, you don't support other bets. Olympics. You got the gold medal for not supporting other women Remonna doing rhythmic gymnastics whoa I threw a bong the air. What is the stupid fan? I don't get it. Oh, sorry Sorry can't do this

Real housewives of For else orange County. I think real housewives of Orange County could just be like stupid pratfalls by Vicki, you know? Like dumbest face and fought down batch. I think they get a gold medal and gossiping about other people's medals. Like, hey, I heard that Shannon's, Shannon, she didn't need half a medal. She keeps saying she doesn't have a medal.

And honestly, when I see that person when a silver medal, it reminds me a lot about when Shannon, she doesn't have a medal. And honestly, when I see that person in silver medal, it reminds me a lot about when Shannon was talking about her getting a medal. Ha! Well, you're certainly saying a lot of things about medals that I've earned and I've been nothing, but a good medalist to you and to everyone here at the Olympics, and I resent the accusation

that I am not a good medalist. And that brings us to the end of the Krabbins mail by... Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Million we will be back next week for a pretty full week for the Thanksgiving holidays Give you all something to do while you travel something to listen to I think yeah shows are on which means all our shows are on as Well, we are gonna be having a great time. We will see you then in the meantime Yeah, I'll get your shirts and yeah join TV party app and follow at running caram and at Ben Maddle curse You can come to us during our live streams next week. Okay? Yeah, we'll listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.