Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Hula Let The Dogs Out?

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

On this week's Real Housewives of New Jersey (S13E7), the Gorgas invite everyone down to their Shore house for an incredibly authentic luau featuring fresh-rolled cigars, focaccia lobsters, and of course a pepperoni pizza decorated like the American flag. You can practically smell the Maui breeze coming through the TV!Hey! This is Crappens on Demand. Watch here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/80367155/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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What happens What crap What What What Happens when there's so what if Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crapins! A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only and the lovely and wonderful and special and Just all around the great guy mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hi, how are you? Would a lovely intro babe? Thanks. Oh, yeah. Well, you deserve it We are here today on crap is on demand, which is on Patreon. Go to patreon.com slash watch what crap is and you support us on the crap is on demand level. You get to watch us. You don't get to just listen to us.

That you also get access to our weekly bonus episode, which we haven't recorded this week's yet. But last week we touched on below deck and just like shot the shit. Sometimes we recap shows. Sometimes we just, you know, sometimes we just talk about the shit that we're cooking, you know, it's really whatever's on our mind.

It's our chance to have kind of like a free form episode where it's like low stress, easy and fun for us. You don't have to do crap as a demand to get the bonus episode, but if you do crap as a demand, you get that as well. And there's also like a discord community on there. So hi to everyone on Discord, on crap crap and discord. What's up people? Crap is on demand. What's also funny is Ronnie, I see you're already throwing down with your with your little nickname Donna deserves nothing. Wow.

I deserve nothing. What the fuck am I feeling bad for Donna for? Donna, you're a virus. You're the Melissa inventor. I feel nothing for you. You can you deserve enjoy your non catered meal on Teresa's wedding night at home Donna at home. I love Donna. We'll get into that because we're talking real housewives of New Jersey today. Before though that we are

going out of town later this week. We're going to Denver on Thursday to talk Vanderpump rules. Wow, people are fired up. The mid season trailer came out. It's just like, it's just, I've just come, come to the show so we can all be together and we can do this together. Okay, let's go through this together.

And we're also gonna be on Daily Blast Live in Denver. Hello, that's gonna be on Wednesday, Thursday. I think we're on around like 12 or 12 30 something like that. So if you have access to that show, go watch it. Just go to the internet and find it. And then on Friday, we're going to Salt Lake City for the very first time, which is gonna be fantastic. We're gonna recap the first episode of season three

of the Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip in Thailand featuring Salt Lake City's very own Heather Gay, Whitney Rose. It's gonna be a wild time. We don't care what the blue laws of Utah say. We are going to rage. I mean, I think. So it's gonna be a great time. So come join us for that.

And then after that, the week after that, we're going to Seattle. We're going to San Francisco. And then next month, we're going to Seattle. We're going to San Francisco. And then next month, we're going to, we're going to in April. I don't even have to schedule up, but we have more shows in April and they're gonna be absolutely wonderful.

So go to watchacrapins.com to get your tickets. Oh, April has Toronto, which has like five tickets left and Philadelphia, which is always a raging good time. So watchacrapins.com for all that. And I think that's all the the big news that there is to share for today. I think that otherwise we're just going to dive into some real housewives of New Jersey. What might be a test the episode already based on this Donna division that we're having. Yeah, I don't feel bad for Donna. I mean, you raised Melissa and you raised test the episode already based on this Donna division that we're having.

Yeah, I don't feel bad for Donna. I mean, you raised Melissa and you raise those two sisters of hers, you know, those Cinderella step sisters, okay, the margin, March Simpson sisters, um, do not smoking. Uh, you raised them and Melissa said, don't act all innocent, okay? And sure, maybe you went to hang to hang out with no no a couple of times. You want a fucking metal, okay? You know, you don't get a medal for no no. I'm sick of hearing about Donna. She seems nice. I'm no longer buying it I think Donna is probably the center of all of it. She's probably telling Melissa like oh really to reason things She's so great. Let's get you on TV. Hey, how about you Facebook?

She's so great. Let's get you on TV. Hey, how about you Facebook? Dan. Yeah. How about you Facebook message? Dan. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I don't want to see you in a certain Dona. Yeah, I actually I don't mind Donna. I don't I don't really I love Donna I love Donna and I don't feel bad for her, but I just I love her. I just you know, I just I Think she should be invited as a reward for being Donna. I don't feel bad. I don't think she needs to be invited, but I really don't hate Donna. She seems like a really sweet lady. But one thing I've noticed is you Jersey listeners are just the most hilarious commenters and you don't agree with something.

It's like we're in the cast in New Jersey. You guys are like, you fucking idiots. Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, why don't you just go marry fucking Teresa, right? And then that's how you guys can comment, not all of you. But I think it's so funny. So I'm just coming on here to trigger you today. And just say things like, I will piss you off.

We got a lot of feisty comments, a lot of things. Like, you're stupid. You're stupid. I can't even listen to this. So you on, are you on Melissa's payroll? Or you on Teresa's payroll? And what's, what that like payroll? Are you kidding all these women are cheap? Who is Marge gonna pay she can barely get her own half fucking house finished? Okay, or wallpapers not lined up together It's Marge is not paying anybody

Yeah, I'm not on anyone's payroll and I'll tell you who's payroll. I definitely am not on Joe and Melissa's Architects payroll because Lord knows they don't have any money. I mean, it's not new news, they're a new house, but someone sent us a thing that was like a side-by-side of how their house was trying to be like a Beverly Hills modern farmhouse and just what a total failure it is. And it's just still always funny like looking at their house

Like it is one of the the modern disasters. I put it up there with that crazy hotel in North Korea That's like not even finished after 20 years. I don't know if you know that hotel or Ronnie But like I put down and I was like you know that the crazy hotel in North Korea It's like that you're that culture. I'm not cultured. It's you're on the silo. You're on the end KZLO over there. Yeah. No, there's like this hotel that started building like 1991 or something like that. In what's the the capital of North Korea is like Pion Yang or something. So it's this hope like if you could ever imagine

an evil looking hotel, this is it. Like someone said, I wanna make a hotel that looks like an evil lair as this enormous tall series of triangles, which is not unlike Joe and Melissa's modern farmhouse attempt in New Jersey. And it's like beset with all sorts of, you know, ish construction issues and engineering issues. And it's basically been empty for 20 years. And when the North Korean government sends out propaganda, they actually photoshop it out

because it's such a disaster. And all I'm saying is that Joe Melissa's house is right up there with it. I just feel like they're just like, it's like probably being photoshopped out of, you know, whatever tourism guide for you know Patterson New Jersey there. I built by Kim joe ill They the thing with their house. Well, there's a couple things first Thought modern farmhouses on his way out and I have a farmhouse. I'd live in one and I drive home every day, and'm like, fuck this house. You know why?

Because of Joe and Melissa. They've ruined it. I really think Joe and Melissa have single handedly brought down property values of modern farm houses. I'm going to shoot them, okay? Because they fucked me over with their shit taste. Also, modern farm house, you can't just have different shaved roofs, triangles, like some of those triangles

are skinny triangles, like chapels. and then some of them are very wide. It's very bad triangulated house and the other news is that they're already redoing it because of all the shit that they've gotten on. Are they? Yeah so they're redoing it. Listen, stop redoing things. Okay, you fucked it up, move on. Burn it down. I don't know. Call Lisa Vanderpump and have her burn it down for you. She's good at getting insurance money. Oh wow. I love't know. Call Lisa Vanderpump and have her burn it down for you. She's good at getting insurance money. Oh Wow, I love that they're already being forced redo it. I just on crap is on demand I did just put up an image of this crazy hotel for people to look at if they're

A little a little bonus for people who watch crap is on the man. Just write it very well. Okay, let's have a those have a design meeting I want a hotel You just write it very well. Okay, let's have a, let's have a design meeting. I wanna hotel. That looks like the end of a fountain pen. Why? Why would you do that? I wanna hotel that looks like a giant, like Thanos has stabbed Earth with a spear and the spear is popping out in North Korea.

That's what it looks like. I guess. I guess. And is it a bell at the top? Is that a bell? I mean, what the hell? Like the tip? Maybe an observation deck. I can't. I don't know. But it's, it's, I actually think that, believe it or not, I'm going to say this and I'm not even trying to be facetious. I actually think Joan Melissa's house is worse than this. This at least has. At least this has consistent triangle goal. This has symmetry. And at least there's some design put into it that like even if it looks very evil, even if it looks literally like a terrifying rocket about to emerge and destroy the world, at least it has a vision. Yeah, agreed. Agreed okay. Well, let's get into this. Let's get into

God my face is really too close. I think there you go. I know you don't like it. I don't use when I'm in the fish bowl. I know you don't like the close up view. So you're I made it the wider view. I really don't care. I was trying to add a picture behind our faces. This is all I was trying to do. Okay, everybody, welcome. Let's get into this. Real housewives of New Jersey, okay? Previously, my brother, my sister, my brother, my sister.

Here we are back on the fucking, what do you call those wheels with horses on them that you get on the fence? Here we are back on this that you get on the grounds? Here we are back on this fucking Mary go round. Okay, the Mary go Joe, the Mary Joe rounds. Mary Joe rounds. Yeah, we, this is episode seven of the season and I'm still trying to figure out what

Rachel Food has business is because every time her tagline comes up, I'm too busy with my business to care about yours. I'm like, we haven't seen your business. Do you have a business? I believe that you have a business. I think she was goal setting and then she figured, I'm a housewife now, so by the end of the season, I'll have a business. I mean, I don't know.

All of these opening lines are confounding. They really are. We've talked about different ones every week, but this week, that's yours. Mine is Marges, because I think it's so funny that Marges is like, how dare you? What are you saying? I'm someone with an arsenal? Like, who says something like that about that friend? But then her line is like, I'm a loyal friend and a lethal enemy. I don't know. It's like, Marge, did you listen to your line? Oh, no. It's like, Marge, did you listen to your line?

By the time they recorded the design, she just given it up. She's like, a fuck it, they're right. I'll ruin you two in cyclopedia brown. So we open with Vignette's of what's going on around around New Jersey. One thing is that Gia has found a snack that she loves and she wants her mom to eat it. So she's like, can you try this? Can you try this? She's like, I'm trying to get fifth of my wedding.

She's like, come on, is this gonna kill you? You had pizza the other night and she just sticks it in her mom's mouth. We didn't even make it five seconds into the episode before Teresa's going, I'm getting married. We know, okay married. We know. Okay, we fucking know. That's on her main monitor Starbucks cut.

I'm good. I've got a venti iced macchiato for I'm getting married, bitches, love, love, love. Seriously. And then Marge's, her cast is missing, but she's having Joe Carter bagel. She's like, Joe, Joe, you better cut my bagel. Okay, they're very hot today.

Okay, I like a chubby bagel. You know, I like them all chubby and she passes stomach. It's like, majee. He's like, fine, I'm getting spanks. And she's like, let's not exaggerate, Joe. Okay, that's not exaggerating. Um, so, and then her big thing is ozemic. So that's the other Jersey gossip.

Sorry guys, we don't normally talk a lot about this So but we're not doing take a seat right now So I had to bring this up. So Jackie is still I guess trying to get cut into the season I mean, I'm not really sure exactly what Jackie's motivations are But now that she's kind of getting her eating disorder under control. She's coming for everyone else She's on the ozemic hate wagon, which I know a lot of you are and I've said on record, get the fuck over it, okay? But she is like, well, it's everybody's on ozemic now. I don't even recognize my friends. They're just not eating. And then they have a picture of Marge, because Marge has gotten all

thin. So, you know, and then they, that's what's been going on all week is March having to like defend O's Epic rumors or whatever and so now that she opens up the bagel and calling her husband Chubby I was like it's got to be a fun week for you. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just taking Joe's epic. Look it takes a lot a long time to get some wallpaper up But in the end it's worth it. Okay. Yeah. Jozentbick, we're basically you have Joe, post Nick's screaming into your cup because you can't do it yourself anymore. Jozentbick, were you actually loose pounds trying to change somebody's shirt so many times in one night?

I mean that's how many times do you? It burns calories. Literally burns calories. Jozentbick actually isn't even a pill. It's a little herb. You put it in your tooth. I think you spent all two days sticking your tongue up there trying to get it out and you lose brains so many calories. So, fooda, we go to the fooda's residence and she's like, oh no, she's fooda of Rachel.

I need to start typing. She's new. So normally a type of rage for her name and then when her husband comes on, I say, fooda. that now for some reason, I'm saying food. So I'm imagining Joe in a boutique buying things for Lula all night, but it's not. It's Rachel. No, it's Rachel food. Yeah, she had a boutique because she's going to a Lula with genithas. So Danielle and her so it's like a scene for the newbies. They're basically like, okay, we've done six episodes. Let's let's regroup.

So Rachel's like, I know that voice, that terrible, terrible voice that plagues my Instagram. God, I wish I could unfollow you, but I know it'll happen. And Daniel's like, this is fun. Yeah, I know that voice too. My God, you could hear it across the bridge for Christ. So I like the bridge. Sounds like a semi going over the brand. So Rachel's like, oh, I love the glitter. I love the glam in here. Everything is so fabulous in this

store. Look, you can get a diamond bikini that's being sold right under a Jackie Ho suits of the 60s. I know you two are new, but are you really trying to buy Luwile clothes in a thrift store in Jersey? I didn't. Was that a thrift store or was that just like, you know, the hottest boutique since envy to open up and kind of fly? Well, you know, it's you know, it's really a high class store because it has New York at the end of the name of the store. I noticed that it's like I leaned New York. I know. I notice that. It's like, I leaned New York.

I know, I love that. I was like, but you know you're in New Jersey, right? It's like when, it's like in LA all the time. People, if you're coming to LA, be careful. Because there will be a hotel that'll be in some shitty neighborhood. It'll be like the Beverly Hills Plaza West. And it's like you are on Vermont Avenue.

You are damn lying. You are damn lying. You are damn lying. You're in Glendale. Because I've had friends, I've had friends fall for that. They're like, hey, I want to come visit me. I'm staying at the Beverly Hills Plaza Towers in San Bernardino. I'm like, no. Yeah, no, I won't be there.

I will not be singing with the Lundhills, but have fun. No. So she's like, yeah, we're going to do it. Lou out on Friday. This is the house. So we need big colors. And Danielle's like, oh, yeah. Hey, I'm here. Tell. I'm looking for a little while. She does. Okay. Here's something I've noticed about Danielle.

She only from her bottom lip down. This is only from her bottom lip down. So just try and picture it. Okay. She has Francis McDormand face. Yeah. Starting with the bottom lip down. This is only from her bottom lip down. So just try and picture it. Okay. She has Frances McDormand face. Yeah. Starting with the bottom. It's like Frances McDormand is wearing one of the masks from like what what is that the animal mask? You know, it's not really cats. It's like the beauty in the beast mask from the original TV show. That's but like the but then the beast It's just Danielle's upper face. Yeah, well, I was gonna say yeah, because she's not a beast She's really pretty but I see Scott this like lower her lower lip. She's all I guess she's putting her tongue behind it

Is that what's making like? Yeah Well, and it just reminds me of Francis McDormand every time like I would love to see Danielle doing her turn and know that land Hey, I got a van. Hey, I'm gonna work at Amazon. So you want to come to Amazon? I'm gonna. I'm Amazon. Okay, you want it? You know a poem? I know a poem You broke my dishes Francis McDormand lower half so traditions. Francis McDormand lower half. So they just regional Francis McDormand resemblance. Like when they talk about like spot spot anesthesia or something like that, right? Like like local anesthesia, she

has local Francis McDormand. She does. It's so funny to me, because once I thought I just cannot unsee it, you know, and then especially at the end of the episode when she gets really angry for the first time, and I'm like, Oh my God, she is like Staten Island's answer to Francis McDormand. I love it. It also makes sense why she doesn't wear makeup on her chin. She's like, sorry, that's the Francis McDormand region. She doesn't wear makeup. I'm keeping it completely france, it's a McDormand on the bottom.

So they also keep picked, this is a long scene, so we should probably get to it, but they also keep picking up pieces of clothing from this store during the scene. Where I mean Jersey hats off to you guys because you are bold, individual. Like every little thing they picked up. I was like no Everything please no like every piece. I was like let me help you as your friend

No, cuz we see we see crazy stuff on these shows Okay, Orange County and Atlanta. There's always some crazy fashion that is coming through when they do these boutique scenes But Jersey is really really takes the cake. It's just always something kind of shiny and plasticky and sort of odd. Like a lot of it looks like dehydrated fruits like strung together, you know, sort of like wrinkly.

D-hydrated fruits, that's a good way to put it. That is actually, it's the Trader Joe section of dehydrated fruits just with more glam on it, like more glistening. Yeah, like a bedazzled apricot, like dried apricot. And like, but like they know, because once you put it on, it, like, und dehydrated, hydrates, because it like, you know, the boobs fill it all out, but while they're not filled out, they just sort of are like these.

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Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. So they're shopping and then Danielle's Rachel's like, oh, do you like this? And it's like a little string bikini. And we can see that Danielle has already completely jumped to team Theresa because she's like, oh, Melissa could wait, that Melissa would wear that, that's what Melissa would wear. I was like, oh my God, you sure picked teams quickly.

You're already slutshaming Melissa and it's like your first store scene. You're ready to go. Yeah, already, right from the start. So we're just talking about how she's like, really happy to have Danielle with her because she just feels like they're kind of like You know it's nice to not be alone on the boat, you know because together we're paddling

You know, we're trying to figure it out with this group. I'm like Listen, I don't know if I want Danielle to be my my paddler on my boat Just like I you know those videos where you when you watch you know know, like Survivor and there's like two teams and one is on like a canoe and they go sailing off to a different aisle. And I feel like that's what happens when I'm on a Danielle boat. So I think Rachel's better off in her own canoe. I don't trust anybody from this cast on a boat. I mean, you end up like this is the city that sleep with the fishes came from.

You know what I mean? I'm not getting on a boat with any of you crazies. And also this is what every whenever housewives come in together they try and have this like sorority like oh my god we're new. So women power right guys we're not going to be like everybody else just tearing each other down. It's like on real housewives of New York when they had the season where they fired half the cast and brought in Heather and Carol and Aviva and they all had that lunch and they're like ladies we are not going to be like regular housewives we are going to be women empowerment housewives and then Lou Ann just said hi ladies Ramona's a slut she hates

everyone here okay I'll see you later bye that is such an underrated moment like it was just so funny she literally appeared out of nowhere Came in drop truth bombs about everyone and then just left So good So Raid they start talking about the baseball game from last week and Rachel's like So you were you were in the outfield talking to Joe Gorgah for it seemed like five five weeks you out there talking and then you I was like, oh, yeah, it was very emotional.

It was a very emotional conversation. I'm not lying. It was actually so emotional that my chin was nominated for a Golden Globe. It was pretty amazing. Okay, it did a great job conveying the emotion. Yeah. And they're talking about the, oh, she's saying,

it hurts because Joe's going through the same situation as me. And we see it, Joe's like, I lost my brother, I lost my dad, and then I looked at her and I said, it's like you and I, right? And then the music started playing. And we came closer and closer to each other's face. And then someone turned the light on and then the attic. And Danielle's like, yeah, I'm hurting my cat heart and it sucks. And so then we're back. And Danielle says he says, don't let him up. Try it. Don't let him out. Wait, Joe Gorga. I mean, look, I have been largely on Joe Melissa side, but Joe Gorga is not the one to say, don't ever give up. He's the one who's like, I can't go. I can't go to the house woman. I can't do this. I can't be with her. She's scary. What are you talking about? Don't give up. You are the most giver up for giving up person there is.

Yeah, but there are Daniels also like that. So she does work with Joe well, right? Because they have the same kind of attitudes. Because Rachel goes, I agree with him. Don't give up. And she says, yeah, I'm not giving up. And I got to protect myself. I think my situation's the last cause to be all the switch. Like, well, so that's giving up. You're just like Joe. You're like, don't be talking about. Good luck in your butt actively giving up. Literally, there just could be like, like, 10 yards from shore.

Well, we got close, but I couldn't do no more. You got to paddle the rest of the way. It's the way we die. So Rachel to paddle the rest of the ways, the way that we die. So Rachel's like, I have the complete opposite relationship with my own daughter. I mean, growing up, we, my own sister, I mean, grow a brother, sister, daughter, anything. Cookie job.

Look, growing up, we argued like cats and dogs. Okay, cats and dogs that loved each other, but I felt protective over him. And if my brother blocked me on Instagram, I would immediately call him, be like, did I do something? And then if you didn't answer it, then I Instagram I would immediately call him be like did I do something and then if you didn't answer it Then I'd call his wife and be like did I do something as she didn't answer come on mom I'd be like did I do something and then my dad and then my Nana and I'll be like did I do something and my Nana I'll say don't ever say that word to me again, and I say I didn't say the G word Nana

It costs pitsy only to say that I do something they say this is a reservation line, you know what I'm saying It costs pizzioli to say that I do something to say this is the reservation line. You know what I'm saying? I'm calling Daga Sino's every single one of them in Manhattan. Like, did I do something? So then they pick up what looks like two coffee coasters made out of like grocery store bags, stringed together with chain. And Danielle goes that I would die there's sexy for you though but I would die you should get it rock the sure rock the sure yeah and Danielle Danielle Danielle saying that she talked to Margaret recently and she's like yeah I'm trying to think about it I'm sorry we're recapping two different shows okay so she goes rock that short and then Rachel goes did you talk to anybody else in Daniel goes? Oh, this is the supreme. This is cute

You're dying Watching this scene all the props in this scene were killing me. Okay. Oh, this is cute. This is cute What's this made out of PVC? Oh, okay. Oh, that's hot. Where did the shore? Where did the shore? Sorry, Peter, I'm interrupting you. No, it's fine. I'm just like reading shit. So I mean, lately nothing goes on this scene,

and we're spending 45 minutes on it, but I'm having the best time. So Danielle is like, she's like, I'm trying to figure out the whole situation with Margin Jen. I mean, I want them to be in a good place. And Rachel's like, yeah, well, you know what? At Valentina's birthday party, we literally stood there and they were like, those two was like, hey, be careful with Margaret. She's better as a friend than as an enemy. And they're going to release a, like they're going

to release a pit bull. A Margaret, she's sitting there with a cast on her own. I mean, look, she's like 85 years old. I'm supposed to be scared of her. I mean, get out of here. And she's dangerous. There is she's vicious and all of that she's like yeah I don't like the shit talking thing like that's exactly what you're doing though I love when people get so self-righteous like oh I don't shit talk I'm just talking about shit that everybody else is talking it's like that makes you worse you're like a snitch shit talker you know yeah so Danielle's like well I know but maybe she's a little too judgmental

Judd because she can't let anything go and then Margaret sex friends at the Jets the one who drops a bomb on everybody Okay, she's called her should be something like that's here a schema that was an actual bomb Whatever it's what I heard I can't get in trouble for that's what I heard and I mean this is Margaret's best friend He's saying this I mean she says Margaret has an asshole of this You mean Austin O's an old asshole same thing right she has an asshole of these things of him And she drops them like a bomb on friends. She dropped the bomb on Teresa I mean she threw that rumor right out there, you know Which is funny because

They always do this as if Margaret's the first person on the show to ever Bring up a rumor when Teresa is like the biggest rumor rumor, you know, Gossiper. Well, also we've got Jen this year saying, Well, I didn't bring it up. It's already out there. Everybody I knew about it. So what? So we talked about it when that was the whole plot last year. Yeah, it was that March brought up something that was in all of the blogs onto camera, you know. These people are so funny. So, food is like, yeah, but do we even know that? Do we know that she's locked and loaded and ready to fire?

Well, she dropped the blob on Theresa's head. She threw that one right out. And food is like, yeah, but I don't get this Danielle thing because Margaret's been nothing but nice to her. So I'm confused why she's putting so much into this. I'm really confused. And she does that like really wide eyed thing where she's like, I don't like shit talking.

I'm like, uh-oh. Whenever somebody widens their eyes like an innocent little dough, you know that they're the worst shit talker here. And I love it. I can't wait to see your work. I know. I know. I know.

I feel like Rachel Fuda has like a really wonderful few years ahead of us on Bravo. And she's like you know to reach just because Theresa and Jennifer said it There would is bond like gold bond there would you put in between your guys nuts to keep them from chafing? Was that what it is? That's now it works to me honey Yeah, Danielle's like last she threw that app down, you know and so food is oh, I'm sorry I got lost so food is like oh, I'm sorry, I got lost. So, food is like, so is it only to two of them that's got bad experiences with March? And Danielle's like, well, those are the only two that have said anything. So, Danielle's like, well, if one thing comes,

oh, she goes, if one thing comes out, I'm concerned that March is going to be the one to blow out a proportion. I was like, well, you're actually talking to the one who's about to blow out of proportion. You mean her? You happen to be on the same boat. Enjoy that ride. Enjoy that boat ride. Yeah, Rachel's like, oh my god, we're about to go over a waterfall. They're like in a puddle.

They're like in a waifu. So then Danielle says, you know what? Don't fuck with a woman's squad. Which goes with what? You know, a woman, you know, a woman that's been messed been messed with you know scorned. What is that scary porn? No, it means upset like man Be traded it and she's like oh, I don't get that but I trust you on it I mean I I didn't think there was anything wrong with the scorn. I mean I have them all the time with my coffee No, not a scone. A scorn.

A candy scorn? No, it's a candy for Halloween. Jesus Christ. A pissed off woman. Oh, okay, I get that. So let's go to the Caccus jewelry exo. Oh. Are you sure you're not charging?

Don't have to buy tickets to get into this because it sounds glamorous. It's the most glamorous expo in the greater S the clock is reaching So Teresa's there looking for gifts for the bridesmaids and Jennifer joins and Jennifer's like hey I was telling Teresa Benny's my husband's cousin we're all family He's selling bracelets today, but the other day if you want to place a bed on a horse

He has an inside track on a wheel-guid's feet to go back with Benny, baby Rob family here, baby And Teresa's like, oh, yeah, I'm speaking with the Terks his And so they're getting bracelets for the Bridesmaids, right? And Teresa's like look at these they can stack right and uh, Jesus like look at these they can stack. Oh, I love the thickens that he got the horse right here. His name is poor over here. You can sing along to me so now okay. Anyway, hey, so these places are really nice, Mr. What's you gonna do with him? And so uh, Teresa's like, you know what? Like, uh, I'm gonna

wear some like simple earrings in my ears, which I don't believe for one second. And Jennifer's like, wait, talking about simple earrings. Does your daddy be extra? Extra, extra. Plus Lou is paying him. You can love you Lou. Okay? Let Mr. Pay for the earrings, three. She's like, come on, tree. You're simple every day. That's like, well, that's an understatement, but it's nice to hear it coming out of your mouth. I guess Teresa is simple if your context for everyday life is that you have your chairs that you personally bought

from China and you're like hard, ice rink appearing floor, you know, like yeah, I guess Teresa is simple by comparison. Teresa is simple if you add a ton at the end. Um, so, it's like the size of Louis thing. So, Jen's like, oh, what's your hair gonna be like? Tammy girl Tammy. And she's like, you have a little half down today.

And Jen's like, someone gonna give you some, oh, something new, something by, something blue. Yeah, so I'm gonna get Majes face, Melissa's face, G is dressed. And Fressless face, and Majes face when I'm strangling their dead. Hey, let's talk about the baseball game. And my just face when I'm struggling there to death. Hey, let's talk about that baseball game. So Teresa's like, yeah, I was really happy because I talked to my brother. And then like, I just want everything to be good. Like it would be nice for my brother and Melissa to try to make things better.

You know, like, why can't they make me think better? Like ask me to their house. Why don't they have asked me to their house? And I just love that this is what Theresa does. This is always what Theresa does. Theresa does something like a big asshole thing. And then they're like, well, fuck you. Well, we're not gonna invite you to your house.

And then she's like, well, if you want to make a better you would have invited me to your house, you know? And then later on, Theresa goes, everyone says, I just wanna be around people who I love. People who I wanna be around, people who I love. And so that's literally what they're doing. They're like, we're only inviting people to our house that we love.

And she's like, well, if you wanna meet bad, you wanna bring me the biggest bully to your house. You know, her logic is so worth, but it's like at this point, I can't be mad. I'm just going to want to play her. You know what I mean? It's just gorgologic, because Joe does the same thing. He's like, oh my God, I can't believe she would treat me.

Like, that I'm not going to a housewarming. It's like just a cycle. It's like pinging back and forth. It's just they do to each other Yeah, they're so fucked up. It's hilarious So I would want to stay over there too. That also cracks me up I mean if she had invited them what would tree state would tree trees are really stay over there? So then she goes Yeah, and like Joe's telling She's a really stay over there. So then she goes, Yeah, and like Joe's telling, Joe's telling us that he's upset.

We didn't invite a sister, but you don't invite your own sister to stay at your show house. And she says they should not allow that Margaret at the house and they should have let me at their house. Yeah, and Jen's let, she's like, well, that's a constant reminder.

Heather O is too Margaret, let's spin it that way. At least it's like, well, maybe's a constant reminder. Heather owes two Margaret, let's spin it that way. At least it's like, well, maybe, maybe she doesn't want to fight with her. Maybe that's why. She's like, well, she knows too much about him. So they gotta let the rapid dog dormant, keep the rapid dog. There's nothing expression, let rapid dogs lie dormant, huh? So this is so funny to me watching Jen just try and aptress up. Yeah, you know, they never liked you. Look at them hanging out with the mod. So this is so funny to be watching Jen just try and aptress up She probably got some kind of listen joke. I heard the march is getting called for the January 6th commission.

She got something. She's really so silly. She's making it seem like Marge is going to get stabbed by 12 different people on the Orient Express. Yeah, it's not really deep gossip that Marge has brought up. Look, I know Marge has a huge backlash of people against her for the Teresa stuff. And I said last year, I thought that was shitty of Marge

to bring that up. Like first episode, actually, she made a huge mistake last season in my opinion, bringing up both Teresa's boyfriend being all over the internet as an abuser, whatever all that stuff that was going on. That was horrible to bring up on the first day and at Teresa's party. And it was horrible for her to bring up the bill cheating thing

on that, with not the same day. It was the first day. She shot her low. She shot her housewives load wrong time. Like she should have saved all of that and used it later, you know. So I think she did do wrong then, but it's not like she was coming up with super secret information

that she had to have spies get fur, and she kept in a little suitcase until she could bring it out. It was literally all over the blogs. It was everywhere, everybody knew. I think you're so right about the timing thing, because if she had just brought up the Louis thing, I don't think there would have been a backlash because that was literally everywhere and

To act like it wasn't anywhere it wasn't happening and to act like those the video was not crazy Act like the news stories weren't crazy is a lie And I think that like I think it was good that she grew up to be like hey just so you know this stuff is going on Like what do you think about it? She did not invent that stuff. And that's like the narrative that Theresa keeps pushing that like Margaret leaked all this stuff to the news. And now she's spreading it on the show. She did not. She was just like, what's going on? This is crazy. But the thing is that Margaret brought it up under the guys of like, I'm just concerned for you. So if she's doing that guys and then the same episode, she basically says to Jennifer, oh well guess what, I'll build slept with someone.

She can't do the, I'm coming from a place of concern in one area and then sort of not in another area. And so I think I can see how people felt like she was a hypocrite because of that. It was a bad move, but it was like forever ago and we're making it now that she has all this information on every single person. Now, do I doubt that she does? Not really because she is a real housewife and anybody who's talked to a real housewife for more than five minutes knows, they all do that.

They all read the blogs. I don't think that Margaret's like digging, but I think she has to dig Jennifer is like a literal dig dicker though Like she calls up and gets the information. She's the one who meets with Laura She meets with people year after year. She does this and then they turn around and I'm like Margaret Margaret does everything Margaret's been just got an access to the wild house like she's they they act like she has the nuclear codes Yes, and she's doing that in the same episode. She talks about going to meet Margaret's ex-friend to get dirt. Yeah, it was so cracks me the fuck up. Okay, so Jen's like yeah, they they might march must have something on Melissa or Joe And then we go to food back at the store. Oh, no, she's packing for the shore

So everybody's packing to go down the shore, okay? Yeah, and G and L is really cute And then we see Dan Dan yelling neat packing. Yeah, she's like well You had to wear a shore and he's like I got these floral shorts and like does like sex dancing It's like no, no, I don't ever do that again. All right. Don't ever do that again That's a move that's reserved for my brother only and we don't talk about him. So then yeah, we see other stuff like Melissa's packing and Melissa's excited she has a cigar roller

for this Luah, which doesn't really make sense at all. It's not a Hawaiian thing, it's not a Cuba thing. That's not a Hawaiian thing. And you know what else isn't? Giant long French rolls shaped in letters. Okay. He says an Italian for sheta, like literally nothing but at this party was in the wow.

Literally nothing. I actually looked up the history of the cigar because I was like, I'm about to rant about the cigar and I don't want to be like, cigars are in a wine and then it turns out there's, no cigars have like, myon roots. And there is a company called the Kawai cigar company, but its roots, cigars have like Mayan roots and there is a company called the Kauai cigar company but its roots cigars are their roots are South American.

And so in fact like this is basically like hey let's get all the stuff we like for guys nights but we have floral shirts. Yeah. So anyway we go to Dolores at Paul and she's like, so Paul, how do you feel since the surgery? How you doing? He's like, well my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my? He's like, well I'd love to go to the party and if I was feeling better I'd definitely want to go and we see that Dolores usually stays with Frank at the shore but now she's not going to, and we see a clip from 2021 where it's like yeah, did you room? Look the best broken, because I mean my girlfriend was having sex so hard

we broke the best, yeah commercials here comes one right now We broke the bed! Yeah! I had to walk! Commercials! Here comes one right now! sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2's starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the writers goes, and I've got some news for you. I'm not worried about it. I would love to, loris to be like a CNN anchor. All right, we got some breaking news.

Here's the news. I don't give a shit. Okay, back to you Phil. It's me. It's a loris. Katania, thanks for coming to you. Trusted news source. Anything and thing in the weather. Yeah, thanks for coming to your trusted new source Anything and thing in the weather wait wait hold on a second. I got something breaking

I don't give a fuck. Okay commercials All right, this just in What nuclear war has broken out in Ukraine and they're saying that I don't give a fuck, many people have been, I don't give a fuck. Okay, great. With time. So welcome to P-Ramis, baby. We're in Jen's home, her town of her home, P-Ramis.

And Jen's like, hey, Bill, I'm gonna shame out there. And he's like, whoa, that's pretty exotic. And Bill's doing his favorite thing. He's sitting on that like couch thing right in front of the bed. Right in the front bed. He's only person in America who just loves to sit on those things. Ever seen anybody enjoy the foot of the bed couch like I feel. And he puts his arm on the back of the couch

and he's just like, with his legs crossed, watching her change. I love it. It's like, it's a it's not a sofa it's not a love seat it's not a bench it's a debon I don't know what it is no one ever sits on them they don't make sense but Bill God bless he loves it. That's pretty exotic. Y'all screen. She's oh I'm waiting for an occasion to wear this. This is gonna be the first weekend that we're gonna be there as adults. Should we bring Tatsu Judy? Should we?

Um, yeah. And she goes, uh... What do you think? You were saniting the whole Dr. Judy thing? I was like, uh, yeah, because you wouldn't shut up, Jen. And he's like, well, we do often say stupid, inconsiderate, hurtful things, and we're trying to help with the situation. And she's like, yeah, Bill, but a lot of us are not saying we're just pretending it's

okay, it's not okay, Bill. He's like, listen, life is always complicated. It's not about necessarily being right or wrong. It's about how the other person feels through that process. And I was very concerned with poor Dr. Judy. I thought we're about to see her give up her last breath. So as a medical professional, it's important for me to be focused on her. So she's like, this is why we don't communicate as much because as we should because when he sets talk and he's like, oh, what did you think about the

situation? That transmit nuts, and asking questions to get to a deeper resolution. That's ridiculous, Mr. Chairman. So it's so fun to watch on TV because she literally does not get the problem. And I think it's so fun. It's like she's not even doing it on purpose, you know? He's saying, here's, let me break it down.

Let me break down what he's saying. We sometimes, sometimes often say stupid and considerate hurtful things that we're trying, when we're trying to help the situation. You're mean and you're an asshole and you're saying extremely stupid things, okay? But I'm not going to yell at you because I've compassion for you because I'm your husband. Listen, life is always complicated. It's not about necessarily being right or wrong. It's about how the other person feels.

That means I'm right. You're clearly wrong, but you don't know you're wrong and you're crazy enough to think you're right. And I love you enough to support you in thinking you're right even though everybody in the world knows that you're wrong. And I want to keep this marriage together. That's why I've agreed to come with you and sit before the king from house the dragon giving us therapy. So so mean so mean to Dr. Judy she seems so lovely.

I don't know Dr. Judy's ear just falls off. She seems so lovely. Why do I do this? She could probably tell me why. So Bill is like, she's like, well I don't know who's find myself to be right, but why be right when you could be so wrong. Am I right? Oh that was some wordplay. I try to reflect this to why, why is this other person feeling this way? Or they're feeling naughty or they're feeling nice or they're feeling risky Or they're feeling naughty, or they're feeling nice, or they're feeling risky, or they're feeling safe. Mmm. Be a sapper, you're stupid. Suggestive cabaret lines, okay? We're trying to talk.

What did she say? I need you to put all your Confucius bullshit out the window. It's all what she said. I couldn't understand what she was saying, but I was cracking up. And she was in just be supportive of your wife. Then stop acting crazy in public, okay?

This man has to be with you in public when you're screaming the C word at people. Everywhere you go, like how many places have you been kicked out of? It's so true. So Bill's like, we are here to be together and love each other the way we did from day one, which is not that much. So small steps.

Where they look at real house kind of love, one, which is not that much. So small steps. It's a cool house kind of love. A cool house kind of love. So what were you saying? Weren't they what? Were they in a range marriage? I can't remember. I think she said they weren't technically like they were put to it was kind of a range, but they got say they got to say in it. You know what I mean? And then they were happy about it. And listen,

a range marriage is still a big thing that happens in this world. There's like millions of them a year. So it's not like there's anything wrong with that. It's just a different kind of, you know, dealing with things, you know what I mean? And so I don't know if that's like why they deal with it how they deal with it You know where he's like well, I'm here even though you're nuts and she's like I'm here Rest your kids even though you cheated No, I was only bringing it up because if they had been arranged I just thought it was funny that he's like we're gonna love each other like we did on day one when

We met each other didn't know each other were you know, but oh, yeah I don't I don't know if they were arranged not. And trust me, I know a lot about arranged marriages because I am a fan of Indian matchmaking, which has all, that shows basically all this matchmaking and then you see all these, then they always show these couples, they're like, yeah, we were arranged,

and we're still together 45 years later. It's kind of like, we're doing it the right way. All these young people don't know what they're doing. Yeah, I wonder about that all the time, you know, because I come from an old country family, you know, my grandparents were from the old country. So you hear stories like that all the time. And sometimes I just wonder if maybe that's best, you know, I feel like in some ways, we're in a range to marriage. Like we just happen to be in the same. Yeah we did but we happened to

kind of be in the same doing the same thing around the same time. We're like, you know, all right, let's try it out. And then we got together and we're like, yeah, this is great. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Like we didn't actively go seeking each other. You know what I mean? Maybe that's what I mean. Like we weren't like, I wasn't like seeking a ban. I just, there he was, you know, someone was like, Ben's cool, and then Malak. It's like like 15 years later. I mean, I actually, I was actually already with Joe. When I first met you,

I was in a different work husband relationship with Joe. Yeah. And then it became the Ben and Ronnie arranged marriage. Yeah, look, here we are. Yeah, and here we are. Oh my God, thanks for the thanks for the arranged marriages. Anyway, so now we go to the Jersey Shore for a scene, which I was like, oh, this will make Ronnie see red because Melissa is getting out of the car with her dog. She's like, Hey, Nico, you want to go to Missy G's? And joke or because like you guys stop

with the Missy G thing. She's like, get over it it. This is my house and it's Missy G's. Like listen, I am more, I am generally in Melissa Gorgas camp, but even I can't get behind this. I can never get behind anyone who makes up their own nickname for themselves, let alone their house. I, you know, I'll let her have it because you know Joe's name to his dick. You know what I mean? I feel like it's like, I feel like you can get away with anything when you're married to Joe

And of course he's like yeah when I married you I lost everything even my nuts There is this looking at himself in the car show flexion This is looking at himself in the car show flexion. Day is day. Dami's. Now, for as much as we talk about Melissa and Joe's wretched, worse than North Korean hotel house, we do have to talk about some of the other terrible houses that we see every year at the Jersey Shore.

Believe it or not, I think that Melissa and Joe have the best Jersey Shore house of the group. Because everyone else is, they all, these sort of very strange tall compact mega compact mega mansion or not mega mansions what are you called? Mick mansions. And now we get to see Rachel and John Fudaz Mick mansion which is certifiably crazy looking. It has like a three story high portico.

Portico is like the little triangle on the pillars and when you go to the front door. But it also has like a random trellis and it's like brown. It's just like everything is crazy. All the houses are crazy on this show at all times. And food to get serious like look at this view. Never get sold. And then I just see your back here, but that's fine. We see shots of the shore, which are basically it's just the same it's like different angles of the same picture that says jump a lot dogs over and over again. Then we get to Jen and fucking in the corner. Right and then we get to Jen and Bill's house and

their house is the tackiest of the bunch but it's because she just bought it. She's like, I'm so excited to have a short house. I can come on. I took everything. I took the mattresses. I took the bed sheets. I took the beds. No reason to dump any money into. Looks good to me. It's like, this is where you draw the line. Your your shorthouse. You literally put 16 toilets in the other house and went to China to get the furniture. The least you could do is paint these walls. Please, please, it's the mustard. Okay, it's like it's too much. Like, you know, the, like, who decided?

Okay, we're gonna put a house up by the shore and the walls are all gonna be mustard. I understand there's a hot dog stand, but let's have some separation. So then Evan and Jackie come to Melissa's and Joe's like, Hey, what's up, brother man? What's up, what's up, brother man? And Margaret's like, guess who?

Here I am, guess who? And I was like, oh look at your lay hair. Yeah, that's right. I put a- I put a flower in my hair because I'm Hawaiian now. Okay, great. And then Joe has like a bow and arrow. He's like got one of those old-fashioned ones. It's like the- the suction cup arrows. He shoots it at Margaret's like, oh my god. Oh my god. Was that from Sikki Flicka? Is Sikki here? What's going on?

Oh my god. Melissa's like,? Oh my god. Melissa's like not in my house, so you're not gonna get late tonight, Mr. Late. Get it? Late. That's a coddle. Melissa is that fucking person.

Melissa is that person who thinks getting late is the funniest thing ever. She says it like 10 times in this. I know. I know. This is the first time I feel like Lays have made, have like appeared on New Jersey or at least the first of a while, so they're really leaning into the lay jokes of which there's just one, but they just go away. That's just one, okay, we get it.

So then I put Fessler and Fessler come to food as the couple. Jen Fessler and Herman Fessler, whatever his name is. Jeff Fessler. Jeff Fessler, did you say Herman? Yeah, he does like from a long time. People that know Jeff wouldn't think he's a Jersey Shore guy. He's a maternity, but he lived for that whole fist bumping shots vibe, which to me is very appealing actually.

And it's true, this is evidenced by the fact that we never see him do that the rest of the episode. So then Dolores shows up, she's like, oh, is this my room? Very nice. Very nice. This is great. It's so nice to sleep on a mattress

that doesn't have semen stains. Thank you so much. So much. Oh wow, look all four posters still intact. So nobody's been but banging Brittany on this bed. Lovely. Lovely. And I like how Dolores enters the room.

She says, hi. And she brings, she has her some flowers and then walks in. And Rachel's like, Oh, okay, because Dolores has left both of her bags on the step on the stupid. So it's like, okay, fix them off the takes of it. Well, I got news for you. I don't care about those bags. All right. So then his back of Jim's house knocked out because Stan Yellen made. And Dan Yellen was like, wait a minute, you want the boardwalk? Yeah, because they apparently are on the boardwalk and Bill's like, oh yeah!

This corner spot is where all the fights are, it's where all the men get drunk laid at night and take off their shirts and their sweaty, oiled up, and tanned bodies fight. Chests, a chest, hand to hand, vicious emotions, pounding hearts, and adrenaline pumping rage, turning into ecstasy, fifth pump after fifth pump. Yeah, I loved to watch it all night long. I crouch right in that bush over there, watch it, just come up, sipping a drink every once in a while. And just so I don't offend anybody,

I say, you go boy, because you can't really be wrong in that instance, can you? Mm. I did try to crouch in a bunch once, but things got strange So then tree and Louie come over and Trey does her high nasal So that melanchos They're with March now they're having lunch and March is like who's coming? Who's coming is Donamarko coming is Donamarko. I need to know that Donamarko

And she's like, yeah, she's coming is your mom coming? She says, yeah, my mother's not coming Let me tell you something my mother in North the shit out of me the other weekend All right, that baseball game she goes up to Theresa and she says oh my god Yeah, wedding invitation is beautiful when's the wedding? Can you believe that and then Teresa says just come just come I told her and we see the clip and Teresa's like I told that a bring us That's so Margaret's like Teresa. It's honey. You can come and my mother goes that's so lovely I'll come and this is my mother's not even invited. I mean, why would she get an invite before my mother?

I mean, that's crazy. I know, that's what I was like. And that's why to mark my displeasure with this, I'm gonna pick a little bit of parsley out of my teeth with my lips closed. She does. And now I love in this episode, you've got Jen gassing Teresa up, and then you've got Margaret gassing Melissa up more.

It's like both of them are these bad little, it's like, good get it. Can you believe it? My mother, over Donna, can you believe it? So then Teresa's now, she's telling her, her sad play in life. Her, her lot in life is that she's never been invited to Joe's house, not even once.

And she's like, yes, to say that once. And Melissa said no. I'm like, I would like to know some context of that, was she like, and she asked to stay there once. And Melissa said, no. I'm like, I would like to know some context of that, was she like, I wanna stay there with a bunch of my friends on like a Saturday, but they like, no, you're gonna trash this place. Like, I need to hear more.

Yeah, I do too. I do too. Yeah, I do too. So, Teresa's like, and this is where she says, I don't wanna be around people that love all of us. Like, I feel you guys is happy for us. And Nate's just kind of looking off in the distance like, yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess.

Who are these people? Nate's like, I just wanted to do my hip thing with my floor of shorts, but, yeah, okay. So then Joe is like, you know, I had a talk with Dan Yell and like, we started talking about her issue with her brother. And I said, it can't just be Instagram. You know, I had a talk with Danielle, and like, we started talking about her issue with her brother, and I said, it can't just be Instagram. You know what I'm saying? Have you checked PornHub? And Jackie's like, she's like, you know,

can I tell you from someone who doesn't speak to her sister? That's right. In case you forgot, I'm yet another cast member who doesn't speak to her sibling. You know, I think that Danielle is living out a big piece of the story. And I think also it might be the most interesting part because right now I'm bored with the story. someone else bought with the story anyone know just me

Yes on the show where all anybody says this family over and over again nobody talks to their family on this show cracks me that every time so Also, who cares like about this why in the fuck would this group care about Danielle's issue with her brother. And how is that any of Jackie's business or any of your business? You kind of need to get something going on over at this house. So that being said, I think the Jackie's 100% right? Well, we know she's right. We already know we already know that she's already alluded to it. Right. But it's locked over the part that she called up her husband's fiance and just offered to help with the wedding.

And then she was rebuffed for, and then, you know, and that's all that happened. It was a totally... She was getting too controlling. She was getting too controlling over the wedding, right? So we know that. I just think it's funny that Jackie is the one pushing this because Jackie has never told us her sister story. Has she?

She just says that there were a lot of... She there was, there was like a few seasons ago that got into it a little bit more, but basically that it was small interact, small little micro-fights, and eventually they just realized that they just don't want to be friends. But I think she tried to like hang out with her sister or something like that, but I think the whole thing with the TV show was a barrier. But theoretically based on one could make the argument that there's J.A.T. there may be more to the story than Jackie's letting on too if that's what you're saying.

I agree. Well, I'm just saying who cares? It's like family business, it's nobody's business. I don't really care what happened with Jackie's sister. Just like I don't care what happened with Danielle's brother. So I'm wondering if they're all being told to bring it up over and over because enter the brother and the sister and knock. Don't don't listen. Teresa is getting tired.

She says it. She's like, Oh my God. I am so hard to do this. Show is the hardest thing that I ever get in it in my life. I'm like, you've done time. Hey. Um, but, uh, yeah, I think that I think this whole, uh, Danielle thing is kind of like an audition to be the new

brother and sister-futing storyline because they're going to need one if they get rid of Joe and Melissa. Either way, Jackie does not like Danielle and she's like, you know, there's something that that she did where like she I think there's something she did where she doesn't want to look bad. I mean, to me, she seems like a clearance- snookie. I did not rehearse that at all. I did not think of that over the weekends. They, Evan, just like when you hear me, start to tee up for it, don't interrupt because I gotta land this line.

I did not say that whatsoever. I'm then they all start laughing. And I don't like it because I like this crew and I think they're being super shitty to somebody who's new. And it's not cool. It's mean coral behavior and I don't like it. And by the way, PS, snookie is the clearance aisle snooki. Yeah, that's you too like snooki like was formed in a big lots, okay? It's like I don't know what criticism you're trying to level here, but

So now we go over to Louis talking to trees like hey, uh, how do you feel about tonight? Uh, and Teresa's like no, I'm not gonna try I'm not gonna go up to my brother and talk about anything Yeah, don't let him get to you and she's like I'm not it's all about love love love love love love love love love So then Jen is getting her shoe buckled by Bill. He's on the ground, you know like on his knee buckling her shoe And he's like well there we go you look so pretty and yeah finally one of Melissa's parties is gonna be good cuz I'm gonna be there and he's like all right well let's just make sure they don't kick us out okay baby we'll do our best to carry ourselves with class cut to bill wasted on the

floor crawling across the floor and whistling at the who-lid answers. You know, some people say our bill impersonation sounds like Countless LeLand, but we can't help it. That bill literally starts to talk like Countless LeLand's in points. Bill, you're looking a little uneasy. What's wrong? Oh, it's fine. It's just it's weird to shoot it. Seen with you in a bedroom without a lovely bench with sides on it I don't really know where to put my hands. This is natural. Is this I don't know what to do So she's like I need a shot. We'll show her what this shoveled rhythm is

And I'm like wow, I love that Jen doesn't listen to one word Bill says he talks to her like she's a child He's like, okay. No yelling at anybody. He's like give me a shot. I can't wait to yell at somebody. We're gonna handle ourselves with class. Class. So then we just get Jen Fessler saying, Rachel, I need you. You have to help me. And then it goes on to something else. Like Jen Fessler's like tangled up in a shower curtain

somewhere in the house. Like Fess, Rachel, I need your help. Help, I'm being strangled by your shower curtain. is like whatever so then we go to Melissa's house and we see Donna Donna shows up and more importantly we have the return of what may be a Jersey tradition which is seafaring creatures made out of bread so last last turn, I think it's like, is this a friend of the lorises? I feel like this started with Dolores, where she's like, you know what? Here's what I want, Donnie.

Is this Donnie, Donnie's bakery? Okay, here's what I want. I'm gonna put you on TV. I want an iguana, but I want to make out a bread. Make it happen. I want an alligator made out of bread with bruschetta in the eyeballs. Give it me Balti. Yeah, they know a baker and this baker's like,

oh my god, I'm getting out my creativity, all right? Because wow, they spelled Gorka in big like French lows. It made a bread, Gorka, which is so Hawaiian. And then you guys, you're looking for bread for Hawaiian party. It's literally called Hawaiian rolls. What is wrong with you? It's on the bread. Back at being it's easy. So this time there was a bread lobster. Last year was alligator this year lobster. And yeah, the the animal Focaccia maker of New Jersey is really killing it with this cast.

And Donna's like, oh hey, Joey, what are you coming from to island? Honey, look at Joey's from an island. And Melissa's like, yeah, mom, look over here. We got cigars over here. Like real Hawaiians. And I was about to start my rant here about cigars, but then Melissa goes, what does cigars? She's like, they're Cuban, right? She sort of laughs like she acknowledges that it makes no sense there.

Also by the way, Donna's sister Angel is there too, which is great because they just basically spend the whole party just laughing at each other. Like laughing, but almost falling downstairs at the same time. They always seem to be laughing very close to like three steps going down. And I always think one of them's gonna break their arm. So there's a right pose. Melissa's got like a picture. You know how Melissa always has like a step

and repeat type thing for the theme. So they're all doing that. And then Frank comes in with Britney followed by the Fessalans, Fessalans, Fessala. And let's see. Everybody's hugging and saying hi and all that stuff. And Jen is like... Hello, Jocora! I got you a laser! You can get officially late tonight, so... Ooh, let me be the one to put it around your neck or anything else that's protruding. Just a word of warning, just stay calm and stop hurting after a while.

If you ever crouch in a butch before. So, friends, like, oh yeah, put this one on his hand, because that's the only thing the eats can lay with tonight. So then, Donna and Teresa have a moment where Teresa's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Parker goes up to Rachel and she goes, so did she want you about me? Did he hear about this? That she's wanting about me? Marge is talking to Rachel and Daniel, right? So she's like, oh yeah, so what you guys do today? And Jack is like, yeah, what you guys do?

Well, we drank a bit, we had some fun, and Rachel's jokes, like we talked some shit, and I'm like, no, no, no, we didn't, no, we didn't. So then we cut over to Trey and Louis. And Jack's like, Jackie was like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, we didn't. So then we cut over to Tree and Louis. And Jack's like, Jackie's like, oh my God, look at Teresa. She's a totally different person now. I mean, she's so smiling, calm and brown. Has she always been that brown?

She's really, really brown. Someone needs to turn off the toaster on her. I'm about to put some cream cheese on Teresa, okay. She's pretty brown. And then Rachel tells Margaret, you know, she's like, so Teresa said that it's better to have you as a friend than as an enemy. Oh, she's gonna have to clarify that one. Okay, she's gonna have to clarify that one. Okay, we're gonna get the bottom of this. And Rachel goes, yeah, because when I was shopping, we're Danielle this week.

She was saying, you have this arsenal, which is that something about scones or something, and you're locked in your loaded, so you're gonna throw scones at people, I'm pretty sure. Does that make sense to you? Locked in loaded, no, I'm not locked in loaded, and that you're judgmental too. I'm not judgmental, I'm opinionated, and Mars go we cut to Mars and her interview scene and she's in two two shoulders

Okay, she's got two two shoulders and then some weird string up boost the a-type thing and Just kind of reading between the lines here. You know who she's dressed exactly like right now? Jack? Melissa's old store partner. Oh, that's funny. And it makes me wonder if there's going to be some anti-Molissa coming from Marge's season. Because no one shows up dressed like Melissa's arch nemesis on accident, you know. To be fair, wasn't Jackie just trying to dress like that crazy designer? Betsy Johnson. Betsy Johnson. Betsy Johnson. I don't know. And Marge is like, well, someone who refers to themselves as a bougie mama has a lot of nerve

talking shit about me when she barely knows me because bougie is the one to be. Someone who thinks they're fancy, but they're not fancy. Is that what that means? I thought bougie just meant fancy. I think I'm afraid of it. I've heard of like, I thought Boogie just meant fancy. I think I'm a fan of that. I've been called Boogie before. I think that the meaning has been morphing as basically more white people have been co-opting the term

over and over and over again. I think that like, I think it started like that, as Margaret said, but I think it has just sort of become like, I think it's sort of like fans these days, whenever I use it, I feel like I use it in the sense of like faux fancy, like, oh, I love going here. It's so boozy. It makes me feel boozy. Like, like, it makes me feel like I'm, like, I'm fancy, but I'm not really, you know, so I can't tell. But, uh, you know, what was the least helpful explanation you've ever given me for anything? So thanks.

Glad I asked Jeez The point is I'm never going to fully rely on the real househouse of New Jersey to explain slang that's true or English really anything Or anything architecture if so many things you don't want to ask these people about So then mark you don't want to ask suggestions for camps. I mean, a lot of it's all this fashion. Focaccia. Focaccia. Focaccia. Animes. Yes. Do you know someone who can make a Focaccia platypus? I actually do. Breadwaters. Yes. We have. We have the person for you. So Marge goes, and Arsenal. Okay. Well, wait till you wait till you know, you you know I hear what I know about you okay

which I hear about what I know about you like that's not really so that's not doing good you're supporting yeah you're supporting the other side with that statement much oh yeah you think I've got not snow waiting here but I've got about you bitch coming for you you know what's in my arsenal snickers cream it okay there I said it. So Louis pulls Joe aside. We think they're gonna have a talk or something. But Frank's like, where'd Joe go? God, Joe, come on, Joe. So he follows him into the kitchen and Joe has got something for John Fudah. Now, I couldn't tell what it was. I wrote X-Lax. I was like these guys are doing laughs also. I thought it was also that too because I couldn't understand him and then he's like Yeah, you know because you know because we food I came to

Rose and I they brought diapers so this is gonna be payback payback to bitch so he shows it to Louis He's like yeah, I got I got wax and Louis like And Louie's like, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH in on a war. I thought you were saying you owned a late night talk show host. That's our cine-yau. It's a different person, okay. But I also, it just gets to margin. She is to reason her a lot more like than we know. I know.

By the way, meanwhile, while this is happening, Danielle and Jennifer are standing over two pizzas that not even Hawaiian pizzas, I'd like to add two pizzas, which I know Hawaiian pizzas are not necessarily Hawaiian, but at least try to make some connection, a thematic connection. One is in the one is designed like an American flag and one is designed like an Italian flag. Like a classic luvio. I mean, the American flag one, I didn't see it too, but the American flag one, I saw,

it's like a big square pizza, which is a Chicago pizza. It's like you're paying homage to Chicago as a Hawaii party. This party's terror. It's like all pepperoni. It's like yes, just what I'm sure indigenous people of Hawaii love is a pizza in the shape of America. So Margaret is like, she's like, okay,

so well, you know what, she thinks I'm judgmental. Why? Because I called Jennifer a disheveled drug addict. She showed up disheveled, okay, I'm sorry. That's just why I said it Okay, I see I quote like I see it if I see someone look disheveled It's a sheveled if I see someone who who looks like they need some snickers creamer. I say you need some snickers creamer Okay, that's just the way I am okay, and when you're sloppy

We've sloppy mess. I'm gonna tell you about it. Okay So that was sort of for you, John. It wasn't really a joke But it was just what's going for you, John She says that and then we just cut to Jen and build getting shit faced. So then now the guys are all like show, show, show screaming and putting shots down, Jen's throat like literally pouring the bottle down her throat and then to Laura's takes one and Someone goes, don't act like a hoe and the guy goes, that's Patterson, baby. So now Jackie goes with Margaret

and goes, so General and I went to dinner after a third drink she was like, I'm done drinking and then the waiter comes over and then she goes, I'll have one more. I was like, wait a second. Rachel goes, oh, I was doing my makeup and I needed to hang up with her because I was bawling tears of goes, oh, I was doing my makeup and I needed to hang up with her because I was bawling tears of laughter. Marcus, I know, she's hysterical. She's hysterical. By the way, your makeup looks good.

And then as I changed it off this because I don't want to talk about how funny she is, your makeup looks really good today. You've got very good skin, Rachel, food, and then fastlers. Like, while we're still all waiting, what's inside of you. We know you're acting like a sweet angel, but we know there's a monster in there Come on let it out and Teresa's there now too and Rachel goes now

I think you guys would have seen that by now right and Teresa goes Teresa's like behind the bar. Yeah, what happens live. I don't know where So Mark's like okay, Teresa Rachel and Danielle told me that you were warning them about me and like saying things like better to have a friend than an enemy. You know, if we made up Tririsa, why would you go say something negative about me like that?

Why would you do that, Tririsa? And Tririsa just says, she's like, ah. She's like, I don't remember saying anything that that negative is. And so now now of course Classic Teresa she turns it on Rachel and she's like oh you're trying to start travel between me and Margaret That's what feels like that's what it feels like

Well, that is what she's trying to do I'd be pissed too like do we not have the Right to shit talk people anymore. I mean, what is this? What is this little snitch? Just going around and tattletailing everything everybody is saying. I wouldn't have this either Don't be crazy. But Teresa always but Teresa Yes, and but Teresa always Yes, and but yes, and Teresa always Yes, and however, yes, and But no, because I'm because I agree I agree with that

But I think also at the same time Theresa will always deflect away from any shit talking that she does to get mad at someone else for shit talking Because in this argument basically Theresa was like yeah, no like I'm just saying like a wouldn't you know Like don't get a market's bad side, you know, and that's it like don't get on my bad side But when we see the flashback, Teresa's not saying it and like, oh God, Margaret is wonderful. Just don't get on her bad side. She's saying it like, hey, just as the warning, don't get on her bad side. Because she's a bitch.

And she's kind of a bitch when she's on a good side too. She's a bitch all the time. Like, that was like, that was the tone. That was a bad one. Yeah. It was a negative tone. Yeah. So, um, let's see. So Rachel's like, yeah, and she also said, like, it was a negative. Yeah, so

Let's see so Rachel's like yeah, and she also said like look at a history of friendships proceed with caution And say all right, stop trying to make trouble and Rachel tells us I'm straight up. No, but yes You want the truth? I'll tell you don't ask me if you look fat because I'll tell you I don't see a problem repeating things The problem is them saying it in the first place. It's like oh snitchy snitchy, okay snitchy poo. You're gonna get it snitches don't last long on this show Not on watch out man, mm-hmm, so Rachel's of course they last long they get like 10-year contracts. Well no wait So my wife Jennifer is literally the biggest knit on the show Jennifer is literally the biggest knit on the show. Yeah, that's it. No, that's it. Mr.

You said this, Mr. So then in the real world, snitches get stitches on this show, they get decades of television. OK. You know what gets snitches on this show? My ass. So I got another implant. I don't care.

Guess what I got news for you. My ass is here. I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. So yeah, so Rachel's base is saying, look, I'm just saying exactly what you said and three say, you know This is I'm just getting no wait you and this doesn't say well with me and like running to Margaret and I tried to twist what I said But then they show Literally this one they show the flashback of Teresa literally saying exactly what Rachel just said. She tried to twist what I said. I'm like, you, she repeated it

for Adam. Yeah. And Teresa, you know, why are you trying to stop problems? It's like high school. This is like high school. I'm like, how would you know? Let me see. I see. Is anybody believing that Teresa graduated from high school? So Rachel's like, I told her exactly what you said. And then Teresa just blinks at her because this girl is not scared at all, right? So she tells us like,

I'm just getting all hung and this doesn't sound well on me at all, right? Cause like run a straight-time regret to twist what we said. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. So Teri, again, then I wrote, clip of it not being twisted at all. Not twisted at all.

So Tariya's like, high school. Tariya's like, I didn't say nothing bad. I said, you get on a bad sign and she's ruthless, you know? Like, she don't got no rules. Like, I has perfectly died all the time. Like, you don't got no problem taking them down right, Mark? Cause like if you fuck with me, I'll take you down to wine. Okay, but I wouldn't for one anyone to say Theresa can be vicious.

Oh, I only warned them once. No, for one does not mean for warnings. Okay, listen, then you should get it cut it off to that. We're in America. And not for skin Theresa. Jesus Christ. Can I get a translator in the air? It's undermining my character.

Okay. What is nothing under your character? I don't understand what you're talking about. I can't even do this. I'd rather talk to the Fakatcha lobster at this point. It's so funny because when she says it's undermining my character, the camera just stays on Teresa blinking and like thinking about it like. Huh?

Have you mind carroting? No, it's just like she didn't get it. So then all the guys are yelling for the- Boota, Boota, Boota, Boota. So he's taking shots and trees are like, oh my, oh my, can't even talk. So Rachel gets up to go get another drink. And March continues like, hey, listen, we made up. I was riding the trees to train telling

everyone we're good. And it's like, when we are good, and she goes, well, you can be up front with me, Theresa. I don't want to do anything fake anymore. Okay. Nothing, nothing that isn't a body, a face or an appendage. All right, everything else needs to be completely real. It is genuine. Like if anyone pushed the wrong button on any of us, we will find, like, don't you agree? She's, yeah, actually, yeah. And she goes, she was like,

so there's nothing wrong with that. And saying that, I just, well, historically, I haven't done anything bad to anybody. And we just laugh in her face. No, Teresa gives like a B Arthur look from Golden Girls to the audience. She just stares at the audience.

You fucking kidding me. She's like, hey, can you give me that newspaper Margaret? I think it's Margaret on the head with it. I'm still looking at cheesecake didn't it, weren't you? So then Jen has a cigar. And she's like, tastes like she's... The cigar roller gives it to her. And she smokes it, she's just,

yeah, tastes like shit, not gonna lie. I feel like right in front of the cigar purveyor. And then Bill, then he cuts the bill doing shots, he's like on his knees, he's like, well, I've been waiting for this moment for four and a half years. Oh, my mouth is open and I'm ready for you, Joe. So, Teresa's Mac is Joe's getting everyone too drunk, you know, and then Melissa catches Bill taking all that alcohol to go No, that's rude Joe spit it out. Just spit it out. They'll spit it out and he swallows it. He's like

I live by a word code of ethics no spitting in fight club Some Melissa's like well now they're all nice and toasty, we're going to watch a hula show. Okay. By here's some, some authentic hulaing by Mary Antoinette, Ian and Coli and Nicole. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shinone Rosie. Master. All right. Come on out.

Yes, Rosanna. Come on out. Rosanna. Antanu Chi. What is this Hawaiian dancing? I cannot. These girls come out. And they're just like, they've got their Jersey shore

perms, you know, and these weird site outfits that they got from like a perms, you know, these weird site outfits that they got from like a dance company, you know, like a dance recital company. And they come out like shimming. I was like, what, what is this? What? It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I have to say, it wasn't working.

It wasn't working, it wasn't working, okay. And the best of the music that Bravo plays, this goes on for like 30 seconds of watching this and Bill's dancing with them. I'm like, mm-hmm. And this music, they're playing like the music from like the hotel channel where you check in. It's like weird kind of like pan-pipe kind of thing with a beat, you know?

Yeah, I can feel like. Come on, Jenny, let's do it on best the best years And Marge just watches them and she has of course bills wasted How could he even stand being around Jennifer? I have second-hand embarrassment for these people I can't Mainly because my first hand is in the cast so it can't be embarrassed right now How did she hurt her wrist? Oh, she fell roller skating, right? So the ladies are now twerking kind of. Amalisa's like, hey, you're getting laid tonight, Joe.

Oh my God. Melissa, God, you fucking try hard. Stop with the lay. So now there's one of them starts fire dancing. And I was like, these are not the girls you want to whip out the fire dancing move. I don't trust you. I didn't even notice the fire dancing, isn't that wild?

I think I was just looking at everyone just watching this. This was like the closest aspect to a lieu out that we had in this entire party. Was this Hula dancing and the Lays. So then Dolores is like, like Frank you can't drink that I don't know Dolores see what the guy inside okay look we got a waxing it we're gonna wax John Fudah. Oh That's so crazy. Hey guess what we got a news alert about John Fudah's Harry Chess and the news alert is Don't give a fuck. I hope he's not a fan He was at 11. I was not offended because the shame is,

Paul, he's never in the same place as us. I always put the bomb with Paul. He's like, yeah, I'm like Paul, he had war. And she's like, uh, listen, you know, he has health situation after health situation. What can I tell you? He's like, you gotta push him to war. Push him to spend time with us.

Actually, we got Paul right now. He's in the traffic copter over the Jersey Turnpike. Paul, what do you see up there? He says there is a three car. Don't give a fuck that crashed into a... Ask me, Paul here. I'll tell you the news. I see a woman trying to do something that's a man's job.

That's what I see. So send Frank my way. I'll talk to him like a man, cause you're a woman. Oh, it seems like there's a little bit of rubber necking of a bunch of men acting like women. And that jersey turned pike, more to 11. Alright, I got news for you. I don't give a shit. Alright, Frank. So, uh, she's like Frank is feeling sorry for himself. However, I'm not.

Last night, checked, he's got a little hot blonde running around with them. They'll be fine So Jackie's like I'm guys your friend is wasted and it just cuts to jet going That's a second reference to that this week. What is that? I know what was the first one again? Is that summer house? No. I don't know. You just you just fried my brain. But it's the second week in a bravo recap. We've had to talk about love is love. So then she's just shit faced right and bills crawling on the ground listed. And then to Laura's and she's like, oh my god, getting back to it Frank. Listen, Paulie said different guy Frank and Jack is like, have you reached, getting back to it Frank. I'm listening, Paulie said different guy Frank.

And Jack is like, have you reached South Frank? And he goes, I called, I made a mad, he didn't like that. She goes, okay, this is when I leave, all right, cause this is when it gets stupid. I told you to talk about it with Paulie and now you're coming for me. So guess what, the news is on and I really give, you know what, I still don't give a shit.

But I'm moving over here now. I'm gonna see what this with this G taste like stupid. You know what Frank you can call me Sue Simmons because I don't give a fuck and I'll say it on the air. So now we go over to Jennifer Jennifer just like burps burps and Danielle's face and then I got startled because my door just closed you ever have that happen when a door just closes in your house because like air turns on but it feels like a. That's what just happened right now. So Festl is like, no, my ghosts like me. They're always opening the door. They're like, Hi, hi, what's going on with you? I'm like the best ghosts. My ghosts are like, could

you please be quiet with all these impersonations? So Festl goes up to Louis and goes, so Louis, you feel like it's really happening. He's like, yeah, we're focusing on a house and our honeymoon and there could be no assigned seating. So by the way, this is at that little bar, all the ladies are there. Like they're all kind of gathered and Louie's standing behind the bar,

so they're all basically talking to Louie, right? So she goes, yeah, because we were talking about, we were talking about the thing about Melissa's mom not being invited because that's my oversight is it Louis and he's like no no no no no no no no we got a history and so the producer asked Teresa to explain the history and she goes, All right, huh. I guess I'll be honest about it, Dad. What happened 10 years ago was I got busy to do it and they got jealous of me.

So then we go all the way back to the christening fight where Teresa went up to the table. And I was 100% team Teresa because the disguise were such hassles. Like she comes to your kids stupid christening party, okay party okay she brings a gift she comes up to say hi and you guys like fuck you fuck you stupid and then one of the sisters is like yeah fuck you we don't need you yeah right yeah and it's sort of funny that you keep saying the sisters are like margist sisters on the Simpsons because then

we see a tweet and I don't think I ever realized that Lisa's last name is actually Simpson. Her name is Lisa Simpson. That's funny. So yeah, we see a tweet from like 2012, we're from Lisa that says, he is hanging out to Lisa's lying, she's talking and then Kim. She's like, oh yeah, because someone she is a reply to someone. Deva and lies says, did you ever like Teresa? She's just, yeah, very much before the crazy. This and then a tweet from Donna saying, you know, I tried to keep the peace. I'm upset with Teresa. The girls for the hardest Joe was going through. He really loved them all.

That's Donna's big sin. And by the way, those other two were from like 10 years ago, but Donna's is from just 31 weeks ago. Yeah, well, it was clearly reacting to the, the whatever was happening with last season, right? Like probably the reunion or something, or maybe the fight that Joe had with Gia. Honestly, I think in the world of terrible things,

I don't think it was that bad. And to be just like, I know my mother would never write about anybody on social media and I keep a distance after that. Like, I respected them, but I forgive, but I'll never forget. And Fester is like, but isn't this going to cause more problems between you and Shell? She's like, no, I don't want to, man, I don't want to like the mom and the sisters. And it's lorse like, but the mom is different than the sisters, okay? And Margaret's like, you know, in Joe's eyes, Donna Mako is part of the family, okay? And so Louie's like, yeah, well, guess what? I actually talked Donna and I apologize to her.

And so- And Teresa's like, what you did? I was like, oh no, there we go. Fucking controlling. Asliwie, who does that? And so Jennifer Fessler's like, oh, how nice is that? How nice is that, Ryan? Because you're not going to, wait, wait, wait, wait,

are you taking signs there? And he goes, no, it's not, it's not nothing to do with me. And I'm not taking signs. She goes, oh, yeah, high five. High five. It's like a who Fessler's not going to last long in this treat. Trees going to kill her. is good nothing to do with me and I'm not taking sides she goes oh yeah high five high five It's like a who festers not gonna last long in this tree. Trees gonna kill her Yeah, we see a clip of them talking and Louis goes up to Donna and says hey, I'm sorry about the wedding

Please don't hold it against me, which is such a weird thing to say like so passive aggressive It's like throwing Teresa under the bus. He's like sorry about the wedding. Don't hold it against me I'm trying and she says oh, I'm happy for you I'm happy for honey And I was like never but it's a weird thing like it feels like he's very concerned about his image right like it feels like it's Image repair. I don't know. It was a weird Even I've seen tensions were correct. There's something I did not like about that Even though I want Donald to be invited. Well, I don't really care if Donald's invited

I think your part true to the bus. It's saying like this is all Teresa being an asshole. I tried to talk to you, but she won't, you know, she won't be less of an asshole. So that's not cool. So he's like, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, I'm not part of you 20 years legacy, what are, okay. And Fess is like, late, so you're getting behind them?

Yeah, this where he says, I'm not in the middle and I'm not being biased. And they high five. And Treesa just looks so pissed. And she tells us, Do I wish Louis had spoken to me before speaking to Dama? Of course.

My I love Louis. I know he's trying to be a peacemaker. I just, you know, I'm like nothing's wrong at my heart. So you don't need to do that yet. You know, I'm like, you don't have to protect me every time I pass a microwave. Like Teresa, that's a pacemaker.

Ah. I just wish my brother came to me and this could all be avoided but my brother loves a spectacle. Have you looked into the future and senior wedding yet? Why, I love how this is still Joe's, like Joe is to blame for this too. Yes.

It's still Joe's fault. So Trees is like, well you know, you could have invited him if you wanted to. And he's like, okay I'm going to invite him. So he goes off to find Donna, but Donna's already left. So Margaret's like, she's like, well it's clear that like, she doesn't want to invite Donna, but like, she's just gonna do whatever Louie wants to do, okay? Like, thank God Louie has some sense. So they take some photos, everyone's taking photos,

and now it's time to initiate John Fudder with the wax. Oh God. So they start bringing him, but the girls get their picture all taken together, like a group photo. And Jen's like,, oh my god do these pictures have auto filters? We look amazing. And Danielle's like, do you think we really look like that? Come on. And Jen goes, yeah, I really think I look like that. Bitch. So then, uh,

Benny at the Chicago's jewelry expert says I look like fan of white. So then uh, Benny at the Chicago's jewelry experts says they look like fan of white. So then they start doing the waxing. It looks painful as hell. Oh my god. And he, food, of course, fits in right with these, yeah, right along with these people. Cause he's like, oh yeah, come on, you're fucking pussy.

Dad, all you got, get more waxed in with it. Get more waxed in it. Huh, they didn't hurt like nothing. Yeah, he's pretty chill actually. He does that thing where like they like rip it off and he just shrugs like, eh, no big deal. But then by the end he's like, oh!

So then, Fasler's like, well I'm guessing that Joe Gorgah didn't go to Cosmotology School. I don't care if I'm a Bush woman. Joe Gorgah isn't coming near me with a hot wax. That was for you, Joan too. I want to get on the Joan jokes, okay? So Jen is now stumbling around the pool.

Okay. Here she's got like a flower crown. It's like down to her eyes. You know, she's just shit based. So Jackie comes off and said, Jen, you're going to have a conversation right now. She's not okay to have her conversation. Look at her. I know. That was I was like, that was like, Jen, you could have a conversation right now. She's not okay to have her conversation. Look at her. I know. That was, I was like, that was so calculating.

Jackie's like, this is conversation assault. You are purposely going to get Jen to say bad things on camera when you know she's not okay. You want to get laid, baby? So she's like, I just want you and my, we're good to make up. And she's like, um, I just feel like when you guys made up and like you really made up and she didn't like that you're still trying to hurt her, that's all. And she's like, huh, make up does not mean that we're besties. She did something that was really hurtful and my youngest dad had suffered severe trauma because of it. She doesn't want to be a Broadway anymore. That's trauma, baby.

And Jack, he's like, I know first hand with that. That's like because her daughter is still traumatized, thinking that they're going to get a divorce after Teresa spread those rumors. So, Jen's like, we went to therapy and now my issue is the way he's raising the kids because bill is in the scholastic. Oh my God. Burn him at the stake. I know. A dad who cares about grades, what a fun monster. Oh my God. First, he wants him to do chores,

and now he wants him to get good grades, take half of everything he owns. I mean, it's just like mortifying seeing this parenting, you know? It's horrible. Does he want them to be quiet in restaurants? Please don't tell me what's up to be A of themselves around him.

He wants him to get his trade A's bottom. It's very important. He almost blames me. He says you want your kids to be a kids to be a Fitch. They'll have an average life and I said don't call my kids average and he says I didn't say that and I said don't say what I didn't say You said my ears are average. He said I didn't even say that. And I said, I don't want to get a new car. And he says, God, what's he even talking about? Cause, baby. Oh my God, what a mess. You have out, you want your kids to be average? So I'll have an average life.

You're calling my kids average. What the hell? Oh my God, if they're not, if they're sucking at school and everything else, yeah, they're going to be average and this listen This is coming from an average person, okay? You can fix things later, but it's a lot harder. Okay, we have much harder lives So then Then Jen starts talking about something like a Turkish thing where you stick your finger in someone's butt

I'm sorry what what? What? What? What? What? What? What? Hey. If you want to have an average life, can you do the average things in a butt hole, okay?

Good not. I could not stop doing that after that. I had to press pause to go, what? What? Bendy. Yeah. You sick your finger out of someone's butt, and you go, Bendy. Bill, that's it to me. I. You sick your finger out someone's butt and you go,

Bendy, build that's it to me. I'm gonna go finger my husband's butt, oh, ba. That's awesome. What? Oh, that's just wanted to see if Joe wanted to try it out. So, uh. Bendy. So now Jackie is like talking to some of the girls

over in the corner and she's like, you know, I got this feeling about Danielle. You know, she could be a fun, nice person. I get what you'd like her, but I think there's a piece of her that's not nice. You know, the piece of her that reacts when she hears me talking to you about her. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, which part, Jackie, the part where you said her clothes look like she came out of her hamper or when you called her at discount, Snooki, you don't know this person, Jackie. My God.

So Marjit's like, listen, she said, I have an arsenal. I'm judgment. So, and Danielle hears them. And she's like, you know, I hate hearing my name, a conversation that I'm not in. I hear my name. I hear my name. And Dolores is like, Margaret has said that you said to be careful around her. She goes, well, that's who that is. She goes, well, I mean, but you repeated it. Even though Rachel Fudder did the same thing, but I guess since she repeated it to Margaret, it's okay. So, so Danielle's like really upset that they're not talking to her like grown women. So, then Jackie's just like, she's just going on about it and Daniel's like she's in Mouth of Thucca. You know it brings me back to my childhood when girls would bully me

in school and I was tough and I pricked God my daughter. Nothing goes through that. But I'm getting the same feeling now and the only difference is that now I know how to throw a right hook. Ha! So instead of going over to them, which she should have done and had her big first fight, because this is all bullshit. She would have won this one. She pulls her husband away and say, I pay everything everybody's common conversation has to do with my name. My name is in their mouth and that's one that ain't.

She starts getting real stat-myled like yelling with her accent, like quadruples. And then cut back to Jackie. Jack is someone's like, what's up? And she's like, we're calling bullshit on Danielle's story because she doesn't speak to her sibling. And Marge is like, yeah, has to be more than Instagram videos. It just has to be who cares, YouTube busy bodies, who fucking cares. If you want to get to know the chick, she's standing right over there.

But you guys are spreading stupid gossip about something that has no effect on you. Well, they probably are upset because they probably think that she's trying to like generate sympathy. I'm creating a storyline and she's being disingenuous. And when she's saying that she's the most genuine person of all. And so Melissa says, this is another sad story, another brother and sister that can't get it together. And to think that I have a sister out there maybe who might have if we didn't meet wouldn't even talk to me. This is terrible what happens in families that may or may not exist. And Melissa's saying that too. She's like, yeah, I mean, oh, were you saying that you were doing Jackie's? That was my Melissa Gorge. Oh, I'm sorry. No, that's a Jackie.

No, I'm so sorry. I have just... That was my Missy G. That was my Missy G, okay? I was so sorry. I was, wasn't judging you. I was reading through the notes to see where we were and I just didn't hear the first part. Sorry. Okay, so then Melissa... Melissa goes to Danielle and Nate and she goes, are you mad? So, who do you think is talking about you?

Would you like them to get you laid? Layed? You just got laid at Missy G's, here's your T-shirt. And Danielle's like, I hear my name multiple times. You got a problem? What do you want to say? What do you want to say about it? And Melissa's like, well, I only heard your name

in one conversation and I shouldn't do this. God, what am I doing what am I gonna okay? I'll tell you You know I'd like to sit with you Yeah with the situation with your brother like they feel like they're missing something like maybe you hit stuff like You know me and tree there's two sides. There's her side. There's my side. There's a pizza like an American flag and there's the truth and There's a facaccia side a facaccia lobster side, there's my side, there's a pizza, like an American flag, and there's the truth. And there's a facaccia side, a facaccia lobster side, okay? So Danielle's like, honestly, I can't hear anything.

My insides are ready to go nuclear, oh, you have the American flag pizza, didn't you? No, not nuclear like that. She goes, you know what, Melissa? I can't hear you right now, because I'm about to go nuclear Like a nuclear. I love it. Do it. I want to see someone go nuclear When it comes to my brother that's my truth

exclamation point that's it. I am so angry that I am going to not talk to anyone about this and walk away. And she goes up to Danielle and Teresa and Jan and she's and Fessler and she's like, you're ready to go? Cause I've done. Let's go. We gotta go. I've done and Teresa goes, well, we came to Diana.

So we're gonna leave the together. It's a cloud piece. I love this rule. I love the consistency of this rule. The ongoing, like, the pact of New Jersey, which is if you ride in an Uber together, you leave in an Uber together. It's the Patterson pact.

Yeah. When you're from Patterson, you always ride together. Quite literally, all this talk about, like I ride for you is very literal on this show. Yeah, right. So, um, uh, so, Dan Yel, yes, they're gonna, they're gonna go and Dan Yel's like, if I hear my name and can't be involved in a conversation, I'm gonna go. I'm like, well, you could be involved.

You just have to walk up to the conversation and be involved in it and defend yourself. Yeah, do it, do it. You're on housewives, but she's gonna save it. So maybe this will be a good move for her. I don't know, like maybe save it and then go nouglier later, but I would prefer a nouglier now. Okay. I say nouglier now. So in the van, Danielle's going off. I open up to this caddy group of idiots and I'm like, what the fuck, I'm sitting here like a truck wolf. And everybody's talking about me. I don't do well with that. I don't do well with that.

And I couldn't tell if it was Teresa or Jennifer. But one of them was like, Jackie started it. I'm just happy. Just happy to throw Jackie right in here. Yeah, Teresa. And Danielle's like, that's a pair of words. That's another sign that is world. There's another side to destroy me. And Jenny goes, yeah, that's what Jackie said.

And Danielle's like, she's spoken. She's trying to make me look like an ass to everybody. And here's the truth. We come from the same place. I'm just a better version of a set now, either girl. She's just a miserable little bitch. Yeah, she must have balls ten feet long to ever go toe to toe with me. The one person you don't want to have as an enemy is me. Because guess what? When I'm your enemy and you're talking shit about me and a group of people, you know what I do? I kind of look at you a little bit and then I walk away. So good luck with that.

And that's it. That brings us to the end of real Housewives of New Jersey. Everybody. Super, super fun. Thanks everyone for being here. We'll catch you the next episode and don't forget to go to watchcraftpots.com and get tickets to see your show. That live shows happen in this week in Denver and Salt Lake City and Seattle and San Francisco next week. We'll see you there is Bye Watch what crap ends would like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley Savoni she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella itch old Dana C

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I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wondery's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selina and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. own alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow Disantel wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering App. you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondaria.