Watch What Crappens - RHONJ Live in Houston: Crossing the Line Dance

Episode Date: April 21, 2022

We're live from The House of Blues in Houston, TX for a very special recap of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Teresa refuses to apologize for clearing a table onto Marge's outfit, the guys take shots from a dildo, and Melissa makes the cast embarrass music itself on a day trip to a recording studio. This week's bonus is a two part road trip for the final leg of our Hunky Dory Tour. Find all of our premium bonuses and video recaps at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm a bunny, I'm a ninja, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a ninja, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a ninja, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a ninja, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a ninja, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, monkey, I'm a monkey, monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, monkey, I'm a monkey, monkey, I'm a monkey, monkey, I'm a monkey, monkey, I'm a monkey, I'm a monkey, monkey, I'm monkey, monkey, I'm acting like I invented Bucky's. I'm like, you got it. You got the Bucky's. Oh my God, it's so wonderful to be back here in Houston. It's been, like, right before the pandemic, sorry, that we heard last.

Like, back in January 2020, it was really fun. You guys are always such a fun crowd. Come on in, come on in. Oh, so good to be here, man. It's not really a road trip. If you're not almost running off the road by an F-350, for real is the best in Texas. God, damn, those things are abusive.

I don't even think they know that they're abusive. I don't think that every person who drives one of those fucking trucks is an abuser, but it's really hard not to get that impression. I'm driving, you know, my little car, my little high-bred. So you know they're just wanting to run me off the street immediately. But they come up right behind you and you just see Ford! Ford, you're like, I'm going to die right now. We're going to die.

They have a so fun, now. We were gonna die. They was so fun, yeah. We did a little room trip today. I love doing a room. Ronnie is from here in Texas, but I'm a tourist. Yeah. And I live in Austin now, but I'm from at Paso, Texas. Yeah.

Born and raised. So Houston's more of my style, you know, it's more of my speed. All right. You people know how to do my style, you know, some more of my speed, all right? You people know how to do my kind of food in this town. All right. Yeah, so it's just so fun because I got to be a passenger and then Ronnie sort of takes me around

and he shows me things. Now my look, it's a store. He's like, I know Ronnie, I can see that it's a store. But their different in Texas. I'll tell you, I mean, Bucky's is really exciting. I really have a fun time there. So we went there, we went nuts, okay, we went nuts. And then afterwards, we like, matters a whole, like, 10 bags of, like, candies and wasabi

peas and all sorts of weird stuff into the car. And I was like, oh, Ronnie, I totally forgot to go to the bathroom. Hold on one second. And it, like, took me 10 minutes just to walk to the bathroom, because it's so long. It's so big. You're just walking forever. And you're like, wow, this store is so big.

It's a big store. And when you go pee is a man in that store, the stalls, the way they line the stalls up, it's just all around every single wasa. It's just a big rectangle of peeping, you know? And you're like in the middle, and just everybody's peeing around. It's truckers, you know?

Yeah. Swapping their phones and peeing at the same time. It's like, wow, I love being in the center of pee. Thank you, Bucky's. And there's nothing like being judged by the checkout lady at the Bucky's either, because you know, my ass, she saw my ass coming literally, because my pants were like down below my ass crack.

By the time I walked through that whole store, and then I came, you know, my sister knew I was going to, she's like, are you passing a Bucky's? Were you bring back 10 of the white cheddar Bucky nuggets for the kids? So it's just like, God, is this guy depressed, you know, because I came up with just a row of shit, you know? I didn't know much, yeah.

And she just looked at me like, shit. Like, get your bags out, Betty. It's time to do this, all right? I like the sandwich station where the guys were all standing there and they were like, car brisk it on a thing and on board, huh? And I was like, that sounds exactly like the song they sang on Real House, wasn't New Jersey. I gotta say, the guys at Bucky are much better singers.

Yes. The guys at the fresh turkey counter, really, they win, okay. There's a fine line between brisket up and lady drama. Yeah. Turkey brisket on the, between brisket up and lady drama. Yeah. Turkey brisket on the... Boy! I love the rest.

It's just brisket drama. We got it from a mama. So we're really excited, obviously, to be recapping Real House as a New Jersey tonight. And just sitting backstage, we're really excited, obviously, to be recapping Real House as a New Jersey tonight. And just sitting backstage, we're just hanging out. And I looked on Instagram. Let me pull it up, because it was so funny. I went on to Dolores's Instagram.

I'm going to pull it. Because of course it's not there. You know how Instagram does that thing? We're like, OK, save it on this post for when I want to read it. You close your phone, you open it up. It's like, guess what? I'm giving you a new post. I'm like, no. Yeah.

So, it's a picture on Doloreson's Scram of two garage doors. Dolores has a car garage journey going on on Instagram. Yeah. She's been posting about a fucking garage now for six months. He's like, look, I got a garage. So, it's a picture of two garage doors. I was like, what is this? And then the caption, this is such a Dolores caption. You tell me, but I think every sports car

deserves a garage door from at on light door manufacturer. Check them out. You won't be disappointed. And then there's like a kiss emoji like, wah, like, wow. Sexy garage doors. And then she goes, not sure what looks cooler,

the car or the doors. I think it's the car. Dolores, Dolores car doors. What did they give you? 5% off. You don't have to post about them every week. For two months, Dolores, they've gotten their monies worth out of you.

How much good it have got. Hey, what do you do? Happy Monday, right? Back to work. Have you ever wondered on a Monday? God, I could use a better garage door. I was like, OK, well, Dolores is still getting free shit from the garage people.

How many garages do you have, woman? Mop buckets. What looks better than a garage? A car or a mop bucket? I would say a mop bucket. Thanks, mop buckets, USA. Jersey's always had the weirdest, uh, spokespeople things, right? Spokes people things right remember Teresa's for years was that tanning bed place. It's like And it was just these two white eyes and like a piece of bacon, you know in a bikini

They've always had really good really classy ads. So it is real house lots of New Jersey night Let's let's get going alright. Check it away, baby. Previously on the wheelhousewives of New Jersey, is there anything you want to say to my face? I told you you should address the video on the internet. Come back to me, baby! I'm sorry! I want a marry-ah! If you'll have me.

Bro, do it with more emotions. I don't believe it. Do it with more emotions. I love you. I love you. I'll take the bag, Mara-Man. If she had my leg in someone, I ask what, and check all so much.

She's getting to be very dispaceful. Nashville. Here we are. I was thinking the girls could all go to recording studio and record a song. So this is where all the cowboys gone. You said I went to blog as in spread room is about Louie, but don't spread room is about me spreading room is about you spreading room is about me spreading room is on that I didn't room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me spreading room is about me, spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me spreading room is about me And scene Oh, Teresa keeping it classy so we are a Nashville for this episode Which isn't Texas, but you know they make everybody wear a lot of cowboy hats because it's like a southern place

So suddenly everybody in Nashville is like Like started you just ride up to a horse like this is a scene in a 7-Eleven. Sorry, okay, we don't do. Thank you, Jersey. We get that you're somewhere, you know, not in Jersey. Poor Melissa Gorga, I think she's like an Idaho or something. She just doesn't know where Nashville is, by the way. Like a recurring theme.

She's like, is this Hawaii? So we see Tiki. Oh, wait, the song. Now, I love the song because you know they got Trixi Monaco pulling out some country shit for this. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, what would you call country Trixi Monaco? Like, Trixi Nelson. Monaco. What is it? No, that's not country. I was like, Trixi, make Monaco. Make Monaco. I don't know why.

I was like, old McDonald, but just doesn't even make sense anyway. One's like the most basic version of Country, I don't know. Um, but the song is, Rye-a-lady can ride. Oh, jeez, won't you bomb a side? We can, jeez, all through the night. You can jeez, all through the night now.

I'm willing to admit that I wrote that down wrong. No, I think it sounds pretty accurate. I can jeez, all through the night. It's like an LA trick, see, monical. Like, want to get together in juice pole? Yeah. Get that finish in me veins, pole. I believe that carry on to what juices at night.

Like, that feel that matches for me. I believe that. Well, carry underway, yeah. With her little Nintendo that she got for free. So I always think about with her. Like look at her sitting on her trailer with her little Nintendo. She's like, I love the Nintendo. When I'm just out alone on my trailer,

I play my little gangboy. I'm like, you do not carry, shut up. You are juicing at 8 p.m. I challenge your ass to Somario right now. Bring it. I would love that. So Frank is waking up and Frank is sleeping in the kids' room. Don't put the biggest debar in the kids' room.

That's creepy. Okay, it's creepy. It's like reverse Goldilocks. You know? Yeah, it's like, that is so small to lots. It's like, I know Goldilocks, all right. This whole show sort of I know Goldilocks, aren't I? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's like, what the fuck is this? Grama, doh, doh, doh, doh, doh! And he like embraced it. You know, most people would go into that

and be like, fuck these kids and just like, get all the stuffed animals and throw them on the floor. But Frank is like ET trying to hide, you know? Yeah, he's just like lying on all of the animals. There's like a cabbage patch kissing him on the cheek, you know, like a giraffe, like under his neck. Well, this is like, this is like a dream compared to sleeping in that room with that chin chilla throwing.

It's urine out there. I got a shake. None of these things are pissed on me yet. All right. Lord knows I've tried to make it happen. Mm-hmm. And so, of course, Gorka comes in. He's like, whoa, look at that.

Frankly, we're with so many animals. She had them, bro. I'm Frank's sleeping with so many animals. She ain't raw. I'm thinking of picture of that, bro. Go on. So then Dolores comes in and Frank's like, Dolore, how'd you sleep? I don't sleep. I lie in bed and think about garage doors all night long.

What's better, jealous salad, a regarage door? I started to count sheep, but then the sheep started to run into my garage doors, and I was like, no, I paid a lot for those doors. Don't get the sheep near them. And he's like, wow, the Lord, I couldn't sleep either. Okay, I mean, what happened last night was just, it was discerning the Lord, right?

It was discerning. And she's like, Frank, you've now made all the toys soggy, okay? You have to replace these. Are you talking about what happened between Theresa and Margaret? No, Bill kept coming up to me at the bull barn, slapping me on the ass, and saying, I can be a cowboy, and you can be my cowboy.

What the hell do you want? What the hell? Save a chorus, right, cowboy, am I right? Mm. But I told Marjor, way too involved in what's going on with Louie. He's like, it's not a fort. All right, she's not bad man for the guy to law. All right, she wants answers.

She's inquisitive. All right. Don't turn on the woman who's got snickered screamer in a purse. I'm telling you right now to law. Okay. Well, you know what happened to inquisitive people? They fall off of staircase,

because there's usually no realings, okay? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. So then we got to Bill and Jens Room and Bill's like, What happened to our little Theresa? I mean, she was so... Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm And now she's more like, go away. Hello. Let's check up on the kids. So they call Olivia. And then it's like, Hi, Peena. Olivia's like,

Hi, Mom. Her mouth. This is like her mouth. It's just like this tablecloth. Hey, Olivia, how come you got a blue mouth? She's like, Oh, this last night I had one of the blue drinks. It's like cut to the footage of like Olivia just taking like an entire, like one of the jobs.

Olivia is just like, shh, shh, shh, shh. But last dance, you know. But then she brushes teeth, baby. I brushed my teeth, but she brushes teeth, baby I brushed my teeth, but not my face, baby How does Jen Aiden brush her teeth because Olivia's blue was like all around the side of her mouth like what part is Jen getting? She's like Gotta get all the parts. I don't feel my face, so I don't know what part my brush is on anymore.

So then down in the kitchen, you gotta love that March, the second Theresa left the hash that, I'm leaving, I'm man. And so she left after assaulting someone by the way, thank you, with ditch wear, with disrespectful to the person and to the dish. You know what I mean? Don't disrespect fried foods at a bullbomb, man.

How dare you? So anyway, she left all mad after she was the asshole. I mean, March just took her room. I love that March, I was like, fuck it. Yes. Yeah. Yes, exactly. She was like, I need a bedroom.

Okay, I'm the one who's stained, okay? So Frank is like, hey everyone, because they're all gathering. Like we have about 15 minutes of people walking into the kitchen now. And so Frank is like, oh wow, I woke up this morning with a giraffe between my legs and a bunch of dogs under my ass.

I mean, it was like, Joe woke it hits again. I mean, a giraffe, everybody with my legs, can you believe it? Oh, I don't think that's very nice to say that about Tracy and does Tiki know about that? Oh, I don't think that's very nice to say that about Tracy. And does Tiki know about that? She's tall. She's a tall person. She must have gotten lost. Tracy's just sitting at the end of the kitchen

munching the top of a tree like, not funny. Not funny. It's like those hotels with the with a dress coming through the windows. It's just Tracy. So I'm worried, just like, you know, last night was just insane. And like, that was psychopath. Okay, and she literally threw it. And she cleared the table onto me.

Okay, so she was the busboy. I was the floor of the restaurant. I had no standards. I was covered in everything. And Jen's like, but Jen Chicago, I fucking liar. That's Margaret's like, but she did lie. She said, I'm leaking all these things to the blogs. And Melissa's like, well, we all know that whoever's in his past is doing this damage.

Not you. The only thing that she gets frustrated about is to keep talking about it. So let's talk about it a whole bunch more, okay? But she never brought it up again. She hasn't brought it up in many, many episodes. Teresa just, she's like, don't you ever call my guy abusive again, I mean. They're like, man, welcome to McDonald's. So what would you like, she's like? My name's Kulomwe, I'm a man, I'm not be all so long. So then Jennifer, she thinks she has a great point. She's because Marge is like it's a build up or whatever. They're saying it's a build up.

And Jennifer's like, you know, Marge is the one who said, I appreciate so far, which is why she would feel like it's a fa feel busy, but here she is pushing Teresa so far. I bet the fact was so much. I'm like, because you spent like three or four seasons pastoring Margaret to her face. Margaret heard and saw the things that you said. Teresa made this whole thing up literally out of nowhere.

She was like, yeah, I'm at it, mine right now. Cool, okay. I got to know where. The reason people is me, I'm at Louis, cause my, the reason that Louis has a video and cause my grand toll of my god, my mom. I'm like this. Do do do do do do do do do do do.

She's just kuku, Teresa is fucking kuku. Also, welcome back, crazy villain. Like crazy Spanish soap opera villain, Jen. I'm so glad she took off the depression scrunchy. It's like she made up with a couple of bitches, and now she's like, I'm back. My marriage is great now bitch. And now she's like the perfect friend of Teresa.

You know, anything that happens, she's like, put that one time march left the shoes on in the kitchen. Now she's like the perfect friend of Teresa, you know, anything that happens. She's like, but that one time much, that's the shoes on in the kitchen. And now she doesn't want to get sued, blah, blah. It's like, that makes no sense, Chad. But she's back, you know, she's got her villain hair back in the diary room. I love it.

It's like, scrunchy burning in the back. I'm a scrunchy bunfire. It's like, one fire. A bun shows up with, like, when, once, when once her face shows up with like a leather jacket at scrunchy bonfire. It's like bonfire, a bunch of things. It shows up with like when once her face shows up with like a leather jacket at the end of the grease, it's like it's Jennifer. Oh, look at me, I'm Jennifer Aiden.

So, so then they're like, so Melissa and Joe think that that Trees is gonna be chill, because they spoke to her earlier. And so we see a flashback of Joe Gorega talking to her on the phone. He's like, hey, how you feeling? And so Teresa starts saying her new favorite saying, she poked a bear and she got fucking bit. And then Joe Gorega said, a bear, a bear poked me one time but it was college, all right? It wasn't a choice, it was an experience, you know what I'm seeing? It wasn't that bad, I'm gonna be, show you're using your outside voice, okay? Oh, right. So, Jim's like, why don't you just say you don't like that I ask questions,

bye, I'm sorry. So, Margaret's like, you know what, I'm just not going to talk to her tonight. I'm just never going to engage with her. And Jennifer's like, oh, I can't just say it to her. Listen, if I was you, if I asked questions, then fine, I'm sorry. And Margaret's like, why is it that she can ask whatever she wants? Okay, I believe there's a song about that. It goes, she asks whatever she wants,

goes wherever she goes with no questions, and Richard Marx wrote it's a great song. That's an actually catchy song from the Housewives' universe. Coentidentally, also came out this week. What do you want me to say? I'm happy to be an excellent song. Okay, and I can't stop singing it, all right?

Big week from music production, I'm proud. All right. So then we, Marge, when she says, why is it okay for her to talk shit about everybody? Then we cut to the clip of the tree event, which was so funny, everybody's like, let's bond at trees. You know what we should do on the show?

We should bond while we're climbing trees. You know, it's of course turned into a disaster. So we cut to that and just marched yelling, at a literal tree. Why don't you admit that you... Whoa, whoa, sorry, I don't even know. All of them just crashed in my mind right now. That was so weird.

Oh my God. It's like they were all speed walking, you know, out of sliding glass door together and it closed. And they just all fucking hit the... Oh. I'm so sorry. You know, out a sliding glass door together and it closed. And they just all fucking hit the... Oh. I'm so sorry. So, Margaret's like,

When are you just gonna make the U-turn, Santa Fe? The course of being a Fentanyf life. A minute! Subrina from Tannabla! Subrina from Tannabla! The mythical unseen Serena from Tena Fly. You know Serena is sitting at home in Tena Fly, combing her hair, staring at her from mother fucking phone,

waiting for attacks, like Serena, get your ass down here. You're on. All right, and then she rips off her face, mission possible style, and a stand-yell stop How could you That's Front of my children I

Had a room a pay attention, please So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, That's when she'll lose her temper. Ah! That's great. That's so good. She like puttin' her something, so Margaret's like, she's like, you know what, you guys accept this behavior in your family, but I'm not doing it. Okay, everyone else can dance around the crazy person, but I don't do the dance. Okay, the only dances I do, a traditional Hungarian folk dances. Then I, joke, joke doesn't dance very well, so a lot of times I just take a bottle of Snickers cream onto the dance floor.

It's beautiful, made my mother cry last week, but that's another story. Now, all of the people that have been traumatized by Teresa in the past just come up to give their testimony, you know. So first, it's Joe. He's like, listen, I don't condone that behavior, all right? But you know, it was nuts, okay? But you know what, you gotta think about what happened to her, okay?

Like she met this guy. Like unfortunately, the stuff starts coming out about the guy. Thurkish Joe, just Joe, would you look at me? I would, what are you looking at? Sputaflice. Sputaflice. Therkest Joe, just Joe, would you look at me? What are you looking at? Spotify's. Spotify's. And then Dolores has a really incredible defense of Teresa.

She goes, you know, she was in a bad marriage and look, I've taken dogs out of the shelter. And they'll do anything for you to pet them, let alone fuck them, okay? I just want to be treated right, okay? So basically what I'm saying is she's like a very sad pound puppy, okay? They won't even let you pat him on the head. But you treat him right.

So Margaret is holding a strawberry like this. Like she's holding the very bottom tip of the strawberry. freedom right. So Margaret is holding a strawberry like this. Like she's holding the very bottom tip of the strawberry. I don't even know how the strawberry is standing up straight because it's standing up straight. She's like, hmm. Just roll her eyes and she's like, wait, let me get to straight. So he's like Daddy Boahbuck's who came to rescue Sandy, the dirty, main G-Dog basically. Okay, I've got it now

I've got it. I had a revelation today actually that whenever you eat KitKats, you automatically do March hands Because whenever you eat them, you're always gonna be like there's just no way to like You when you eat them, you're just like okay Joe. I'm eating a KitKat Joe. Do you want to keep me happy? Okay, I'm gonna break it give me a a break. Literally, I am the tagline. Okay, give me a break. I think you're a fancy person because that's how you eat your kit cats. Mine, I leave in the car.

Okay. Cause your kit cats got to marinate in the sun. Usually I leave it in the car because I like put it under my seat in case I get pulled over. They won't be like, oh my God, this fat guy's like binging on candy, you know? So like I hide it, you know? It's true though, I do. Like I hide all the bad stuff. I put

all the drugs and all the kick-cats and shit under the... So, mine is usually melted, so you just like open like the little end of it, you tear it open, and then you just start sucking it out, you're like, you bite down, you know, to break the wafer as soon as you. Like a pre-sund. Yes. It's like a Capri-sund done right. What are the odds that Teresa opens up a Kit Kat and just takes a bite of all four like you know she does? Because she's a monster.

She's a monster and that's how it's Kit Kat. I'm saying it to your first. You know it. Shirts are so good. Don't throw stones or whatever. Don't throw stones or whatever. That's so good. So Goraga is like, so tonight, what needs to happen?

Do you need me to jerk off on anything? Margaret's like, she owes a major apology, okay? Look, you know what, I can be in a room with anybody, okay? You know what? I never see any flicker. I'm still alive. I was friends with Daniel Stubb. I'm still alive. I'm not going to be afraid of this who walky-eyed bitch, okay? I'm going to tell you that right now. And Melissa's like, Joe says, he's like, listen.

I'm going to take care of it. And Benco Benino goes, sorry, Joe Benino. I always do that. And it confuses me. I need to stop doing it. Did you see I just got confused? I was like, Ben. I was like, I wonder if I didn't get on this show.

I'm all jealous of Ben. I'm like, I fucking hate Ben now. I forgot to tell you why Shada's seeing. Joe Benino is like, I have a question. If your sister shows up and then she acts like an animal, what are you going to do about that? Jo's like, yeah, yeah, you know what? I'm going to grab her.

I'm going to take a face. I'm going to look deep in the eyes. All right. And then... Jo, it's not prom. Okay. And then... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's time for a crowd. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So now they're getting dressed for their afternoon activities. We get a quick flash of Margaret in her bathroom And she's like my extensions doc. Joe. I'm like, I don't think Joe Bindi knows gonna help you with your extension But love to see how that works and then poor Tiki Barber bored out of his mind He sees Trace. He's like he look great by the way

Tiki Barber who are you fooling okay? This is Tiki barber is sees like hello. I'm charming Tiki barber all right and today his scene is hello I'm charming Tiki barber with one foot straight out and the other kind of angled As I read a book he's like Oh As I read a book, he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Teresa. I was like, hey, what are you doing? Wanna hear about garage doors? And she's like, she's like, If the one happy leaves my eye, I don't wanna be around my grand.

So Dolores is like, listen, I'm not a fucking magician that can just go poof, the anger goes away, okay? Mm-hmm, I fucking hate magicians. Yeah, magicians fucking suck. I don't understand them. What point of a fucking magician? And I'll tell you what a magician never buys. A garage door.

They just comes up and down whenever they fucking want. It makes no sense. I don't approve. You got a rabbit in your hat? How about you put your fucking head in your hat? You know that the Laura's hate magic. You can just tell. You know she does. She's like, this is not even realistic. You put a rabbit in your hat. You get a rabbit shit on's magic. You can just tell. You know she does. She's like, this not even realistic.

You put a rabbit in your hat, you get a rabbit shit on your head, all right? Frank's literally done it. This is not how it works. Congratulations. You've gotten unlimited amount of handkerchiefs coming out of your pocket. Where's your garage doors?

Yeah. It's all a challenge to her. So Teresa's like, Listen, I can't be around Margaret, I don't care what nobody says. Teresa, you are the one who threw things. Like, what are you, this is like a tornado complaining about heavy winds. It's like, this is you.

So she's like, listen, the girls are going to do a song. I'm not going to do that bullshit. Let's go shopping. Let's get confused in country western stores because that is exactly what happens with Teresa. She's like, hey! Look at all these leather snow boots, huh? So, Joe, the guys are loading up on the van.

Oh, no, no. The van is coming and then Joe is talking to Melissa. I'm sorry. Um, so Joe, the guys were loading up on the van. Oh, no, no, the van is coming, and then Joe is talking to Melissa, I'm sorry. He's like, uh, hey, there's sex door around here, huh? I want to get a dick. I want to get a big pair of nuts, all right? It's what he also says every time a plane touches down. Hey, we land, is there a sex store around here, huh?

So the guys are like, let's do some. Um, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, bills. Let it go down my throat. And a bills there to party. Melissa emerges, she's wearing shorts and have lots of crazy fringe. Because it's like Nash Vegas.

I'm like, congratulations, Melissa Gordon. You did not come up with that term, OK? Nash Vegas has officially jumped the shark. Thank you, Melissa. It's over now for everyone. It's not even Nash Bridges, OK? So then Dolores is like, listen, Marge, I'm going to go shopping with Surrey, so all right.

I'm gonna have to miss the singing, okay? I figured one thing was gonna give me a headache. I'd rather it just be one person instead of six of you, all right? So the girls all piled into their Sprinter van. And we hear Melissa go, are we in the south? Yeah, it's the west. It's the west, we're in the west, right? We're in the west's the south. It's in the west.

This is the west. Right, we're in the west to south. Oh God, poor thing. The best way to learn is just to be kicked off the bus and have to walk, okay? That's how you learn directs with. My papa taught us, let's get out. So now it's like bro time.

And the guys, printer bus, okay. They're all like, you know, growing out in front of the, hey, hey, well we got to the water, can we make sure the water's not deeper than four feet? Cause we don't want Jordan drown! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, keep spitting, it's gonna be up to 10 feet. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Frank definitely activates that little thing on the sink,

that little hole that starts to draining water, you know? By the way, I've become Frank. Like, one thing I've discovered on our road trip is I'll be talking to Ronnie, and I just see like, the law, the law, the law, the law coming out of my mouth. That's what happens. I mean, I said this yesterday, but I got spit in the face, a guy spit in my eye, the car wash,

and he didn't do it on purpose, but the sun was just shining like this from where that lights coming. And he's like, hello, would you like a car wash? Or who wasn't like that? Could you match, hello? I don't. I don't.

What car wash would you like? Mm-hmm. But he just said like a normal life. Would you like a wash? And I'm like, sure. I'm like, what's the problem? You see it flying? It's everywhere. I like to see my, I'm like, sure. I don't know how to call them. You see it flying. It's everywhere.

I like to see my, I like, if light shines on me, I look like the freaking, like, Bellagio fountains, you know? We're also not used to it anymore because we've been in mass for so long. We're just not used to normal things, like with that, like having to smile at people again. My face won't even do it. Like when we first got the masks,

I would walk around like, hi, hi, that they couldn't see it it so I just look crazy, you know, yeah I caught myself in a mirror my eyes are like this and I'm like I look fucking nuts, you know I'm so mad, you know like I I'm like, you know I'm feeling good about all this stuff now. We don't have the masks anymore and today we're seeing a lot of them And I'm like then did you read the news? We don't have to wear masks anymore. Okay? Are you okay? I was I was like, you know what? Like it's cool like, then did you read the news? We don't have to wear masks anymore. Okay, okay. I was like, you know what, like it's cool,

like you know, backstabbing and all that stuff. And then we're in the lobby for hotel today, just sitting there and six people. A lobby that's as wide as this room, they all sit down right next to me and there's one girl like, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch. Tch, tch, tch.

Tch, tch, tch. Meanwhile, I just spat. I know, I just saw it. It was a big one. It really did shoot right out of that poor girl, though, she's so pretty too. I just Frank a tan you do. You did just a tan you are.

I'm sorry, I'm as bad as that girl. Yeah, that girl, I thought it was going to take us a while to slip back into that thing where you cough like that. Because you know, I still, if I cough, I'm like, I'm like, I'm so upset, darling. I know. I'm like tying a rope,, I'm like, I'm like, I'm so sorry! I know. I'm like, tying a rope, putting it around my mouth.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry! You know, but we're already back at the time. I'm like, we don't got masks, fuck it. Because this girl wasn't just coughing. It was one of those coughs that was like, ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh! What even is that, you know, like, where you had like, stress and, uh, it was like where you had like, stress and... It was like, poltergeists. It was. And then she just kinda looks at, and she's like one of those people who goes into hotel lobby and kind of lays on the couch

and she puts her... Shut her legs up on the hotel lobby. Get her fucking flip flops up there, flip, flop, feet, her cough and her... Shut up, shut up, black. Shut up, black. Shut up, badge. Congratulations, you're going to a convention.

Put a mask on with your call. Yeah, girl. We'll cover your mouth with your hand. I think it'll be nice. I know. I feel like we should start doing anything in society where we just shame you into where we're like, we don't have to wear a mask anymore.

But you do bitch. I know. We've all voted, you're wearing the mask today. This is like attack people. Anywho, so back to the show. Ma'am, Samurai! So back to the show, the guys arrived at their pontoon boat and we meet this guy, Dan, who's the captain. And he's been doing his studying because he knows exactly

how to greet them. He goes, hey, my man's got Tito's, there he is! That's very impressed. Very impressed Captain Dan, very impressed. And he does this thing we all do in hot places where he goes, you all picked a hot day. Like we're apologizing that God made it hot, you know? And then, so they're all there except for Louis. And they're like, where's Louis? And then an Uber drives up and they're like, all together now. There he is.

There he is. I also like Hedgehog. Joe Gorge says vodka. He goes, I want some vodka. Vodka, all right? I want some vodka. You know what we should do? Poke some holes in cans and then suck it out.

Yeah, that's what we should do. Mm. So then, yeah, so then Captain Dan is like, okay guys, real quick, some safety. Anytime this voters in motion, we always gotta make sure we're on the bottom deck and Bill's like, mm, don't have to ask me to let's be on the bottom.

How about this? I'll take turns. So then we go to the girls who are over at NashVoc Studios. And this poor lady is named Teresa who runs this place, too. I don't mean poor her, because she's named Teresa, but poor lady, because she just sees what's come. She sees molasses like NashVegas shorts, and she's like, what have just sees what's come. She sees Melissa's like, Nash Vega shorts and she's like, what have we done?

I know. Where's our fucking business model? They told me Shania Twain was coming in. Who did that? I was so mean. So, um, is that to read, this woman Teresa comes in and she's like, well, we are going to pull back the process

of how to write a song, a terrible, terrible song. That no one will ever want to listen to. We decided that everybody deserves the chance to be a recording artist. Stone her. That's what I say. I think the biggest problem in the world is whoever the fuck first said everyone deserves to be a recording artist. That's not true. I've just met you and you're already dead to me Teresa

So thanks. I think everyone who is on the record of like we are the world. That's almost enough We don't need anyone else Save a few maybe Celine Beyonce. So these poor people, because they're all professional news issues, but business is like, it's COVID. So business, so they came up with this new idea to just let these idiots. Yeah. These poor guys, they're like,

hi, I'm Frank. I'm like, why is everybody, they don't even want to use their names, so they're like, who can we be, I do not want to be Shelley on this show. OK. They're like, just be Theresa. She's not here.

Well, I don't want to be Johnny. Just be Frank. You can be Frank, OK? The guitarist can be Joe. Let's just go. Those are all the names you have to work with. So we're going through our Jersey baby book. That's pretty much it.

All right. We've got it rosally, but I think that's a little older than all of you looked. So Frank Jo and Teresa, all right, let's go. Oh, there's a Kim, we got two Kims. So then, me and my lover on the pontoon, the guys are just drinking, having fun, and they're talking about, like, they're asking,

Louis, what it was like to see Teresa mad for the first time. And he's like, yeah, yeah, Teresa, she was on fire. Oh! She was on fire, man. And she was like, was that the worst you've ever seen? And he's like, no, no, we made a deal. We made a deal when we mad. when we met we don't fight. Okay, we communicate between us We got

four years two mouths And Gorgas like that's six holes brother He's like so yeah, that was the worst I've seen on. Did you notice that he does that sniffing around thing? He really does. And then he does my, my, Jiddi, my Lebanese grandfather. He does his lit thing.

I'm like, that's how my grandfather would communicate without communicating, because he just was tired. He's like, just didn't have the time to talk. So if you're like, Jiddi, why is the sky blue? He. He's like, just didn't have the time to talk. So if you're like, Chitty, why is the sky blue? He just be like, hmm. I feel like, okay, you just take whatever you get from that, you know? He like doesn't know what to do if he doesn't have like a big

lot of gum in his mouth, so everything just starts moving in weird ways. Yeah. So, so, so, Jobe is like, you know, I think with Margie, you know, she's overprotective to reason. You know, you came on the scene and she wants to be able to be with the reason and get past all this nonsense, but you know, not for nothing.

A lot of shit comes up about you every single fucking day, okay? And Joe Gorgas like, hey, you know, manner a little different, okay? You can tell me I sucked and I can tell you you sucked and then five minutes later We have in a shower having fun. Yeah, so I guess one could say we could all suck together maybe Just don't get out there It's all forgotten in five minutes

That's four more minutes than I need Fingers don't count So Frankie Frankie the songwriter, um, is, uh, like, all right ladies, man. Here's all we really need to do. This is how you write a song. I just need to see what's on your mind. Well, you just opened a fucking can of worms. I know.

Do your research. Watch the show one time if you know these ladies are coming in the next day. It's a good thing that Teresa wasn't there because if he's writing about what's on someone's mind, we would have a song that's called, shhh. Just a video of a tumbleweed. I know. Going down a turnpike.

It's experimental music. So Melissa's like, I don't know. She's like, she wants something that's like fun. And Margaret's like, well, you know Melissa's actually a singer. She had an album. I'm like, okay Margaret, let's not over exaggerate. I'm just play, I'm just play, I'm just play. I win, I'm day, every day, every day. I'm just living up me because I'm just playing. I win every day, every day, every day.

I'm just living up me because I'm a person. And I'm in the shoes. Congratulations. That song has now been performed at House of Blues. So Melissa's like, a me an album that was many moons ago. She's like, I'm here! She did that on like, Good Morning America or some shit. Do you remember when she went like,

on some morning shit, it wasn't good morning America. It was like something way like cheaper, but. It's called, I'm sorry America. She's called like, Good America. Ah. This is when she get America. That she went on and it was all lip synced and then she was doing her dance with like her dancers, like her dance. They didn't pick it out very well because it's like TV and the camera's right here and

it was really close up because it was filmed in a shoe box, you know. And so Melissa just comes out and gets on her hands and knees and starts rolling on the floor. And then she gets up and she's like, but thebox, you know? And so Melissa just comes out and gets on her hands and knees and starts rolling on the floor. And then she gets up and she's like, ah! But the music wasn't even doing that. I mean, give credit where credit is due.

She's just one of the worst, you know? Bless her. Bless her heart. That took a lot of work to suck about bad, am I? I don't think Richard Marx would work with her. So they start this process of brainstorming. And Marx said, well, we do have a lot of drama. So Frank is like, well, what if we have a song called,

I don't know, drama? And Melissa's like, but it has to be lady drama, because men are different than ladies. Am I right, ladies? Let's be lady drama because men are different than ladies. Am I right ladies? Let's make a song about how different men and ladies are. And Jack is like, but you know, how about like how you can be like, huffing out, but then you can come back and, oh, I love the way you brought up, huffing out Jackie.

Finally, someone else are the Mia sang, and it's going to catch on. Yes, we should just do the thing, you know, and Jack is like, yeah, because, you know, having out and she's like, yeah, you know, getting angry, glasses being thrown, tables being cleared on top of me, a song, that would be great, that would be a great song. All right, Frank's like, okay.

Got it. Yes, entire table's being cleared on me. It's like a busboy convention when I strike on my dress. All right, busboy strike, the song. Busboy. Drama. So then Sam.

Alligations, rumors, flying, X is calling your boyfriend abusive, but it's somehow my fault. You know, you know, she's seeing this serena from Tenerfly. You know, that works. Find a rhyme with serena, Frank. So then, then Frank or Sam or whatever, it's like do do do do do do do do do do do do do. It's like you through the glass of wine

my face last night do do do do do do something led you of fire. But the next day it's all right. I think I want to cry when I go to Tana Fly. You know what, I think we should have abused bus boy right in the first line because it's hard to understand if it's a little later. Like, let's not hold it to the bridge. Okay, do it again.

Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung. I got fake teeth and fake hair. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, sir. Whoa. How did we jump there? Come on. You just sort of like reads them. It's like my teeth are fake, my face is stupid.

I'm just looking at this and frupe. Whoa. So it's not even a word, sir. You're just being abusive now. Can we work in some sort of pizza bagel into the lyrics? No, Jennifer. So then we go over. I don't got a cop, but what I got is a thug

from my block, baby. Yeah, I think this song lacks focus. Let's get back to the bus boy. I think that's as strong as that. Yeah. So's get back to the bus boy. I think that's a strong Now we go to the cowboy shop where they're like they're like Cavenders or something break isn't Cavenders the place It was a boot farm okay boot farm is a farm you put seeds in the ground and boots grow I'm a Cavenders boy myself because, Cavenders, I said, do you have things

for really gigantic wide feet, that don't? I was like, do you have anything for rectangular feet? And they were like, we do, follow me. But it was like one, arrow boots all the way. I don't even think any was been to that part of the Cavenders except me It was very far, you know back all the way in the back like that you just heard Teresa singing We got Cavenders drama

I got low tits and no hair, but I'm still there. I don't have like the song is sad in that place, haven't. Shelley Teresa would be like, that guy was fucking depressing. I don't think we should do this as a business model anymore. So, to Laura's is trying on Bootch

is like, deeds feel weird. Granted, I'm wearing it on my arm, but still, I don't know why I chose to do that. So Teresa walks into this cowboy store, okay? It's cat this boot store, and she goes, ha, she looks around, and she goes, you're not cowboy hands. Now people have used in, how far away and she goes, you're not cowboy hats. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Now people have used in,

how far away were the cowboy hats from where Teresa was standing? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, You can't even walk into a goddamn gas station without singing cowboy hat, Teresa. You're not cowboy hats! Like, uh, yes. Right in front of you.

It's on the rack of sunglasses, you fucking moron. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, uh, yes. Right in front of you. It's on the rack of sunglasses. You fucking moron. So Teresa's talking about how she and Louis went on a, like, a nice walk this morning. So she's totally fine. Everything's fine. And they're just like, both of them are just really happy that they didn't get roped into singing. And it's probably actually, one of the futons, we're like, this is actually for the best. Because I don't think we need either of them on this this track is already struggling enough, you know, and the proof is that we go right

back to the studio and now they're at the mics, okay. Oh my god. They don't even get their own like solo session that gets auto. They're just all together, okay? It's like being in seventh grade. It's horrible. Not even seventh. It's like I remember being this kid, you know, in that choir. Well, I wasn't like them. Of course, I was the one that was like, we've got lady drama. But these other kids around me, they're like, I don't even know.

I don't even know. I don't even know. It is like that. There's a bunch of kids singing together, and they just get so stupid. Like, they can't even just stand there. They're just like moving all around. There's always that one kid going left and right, like this.

It was hands behind the... Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, scene, I was like, oh, cranes. I was just remember little baby Ronnie, like East. Fucking moron! They're going nowhere, I tell you nowhere! Second on my little Capri is still out of my mom's purse. So they all start seeing the song. They also start to sing it the way Teresa talks. Like it has that cadence because they're like, break glass, kick-n-ass. Don't talk about my man like that. I'm like, are you singing right now? Are you just doing Teresa lines? Yeah, they're just doing

Teresa lines. And then they have like a really low blow at Teresa because they say something like, um, wait, where the whole, okay. Yikes, it's just lady drama. And we got it from mama, mama. We're stepping over rumors with Louis on our feet. Whoa, girl, girl, yes. You know, that's a margeline right there. It's a feet. Yes.

It has layers. Oh. And I like that, Jen, is like, Jennifer Aiden's having trouble with the melody. I'm like, there is no melody. You could be literally talking to like, to like, Bank of America's telepromp. If you were on the phone with Bank of America,

they would have you switched to like five different departments by now, you know what I mean? They've heard so many, ee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e song they're all going is lady drum um um hold my bottle of dumb and take a seat and most of the choregas just take a seat oh just take a seat and you know if that was anybody but fucking Melissa Gorga we would use that as our ads for

take a seat you know it's like why couldn't it be March going, just take a seat. Take a seat. We'd use that for our ads every week, but no, it has to be fucking Melissa, who screams take a seat in the solo line to show. She disappoint me, show. It's been many moons since I've been a take a seat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, booze, booze, booze, booze, booze. It's just boobs, man boobs.

So now we get to the point where Joe's like, hey, listen, Joe, I appreciate it. You're fixing up this boat thread, so I got you a present. It's the deck broke. Yeah, he blows out like this big rubber dildo. And so he actually puts it on Frank and it's all blurred out poor editors. So if I can,, oh he's hilarious, he's hilarious, non-delores.

And so then it's like, okay, funny, that's a dildo. But then like, so Joe Gorgas whole joke is that Frank doesn't have balls. So he's like, I'm gonna get you balls. So he gives him the strap on. I'm like, that's, okay, we get it. He's like, no, I gotta make sure this joke is anatomically correct. So he takes out a switchblade. And he chops the dick off.

I was like, do you know how many starving children would die for that dick? You didn't have to do that. I should've made me think of being wasteful, you know what I mean? Like who waste a good dick? Like that's terrible.

Well, I should have meant that because I sounded creepy. Do you know how many starving randals there are? Yes. Yes. And you're just wasting it. Good revision. Good revision. Yeah, I gotta revise that. Well, I'm not got a little weird. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. So then there are now it's just like a montage. They're having fun. They're like now they're doing shots with the penis carcass. They're like filling it up with like vodka.

They're doing shots out of everyone's doing shots and then jumping into water. And the one thing. It wasn't me. I didn't do any. I didn't do any drama. So Bill was like, he's like, no, I'm not going to do that. I'm a little bit of a size queen. I need something bigger.

Not just give me the bottle. I'm going to be like, I'm'm not gonna do, I'm not gonna do that, I'm a little bit of a size queen, I need something bigger, not just give me the bottle. And then, what is it dick without the balls? Am I right? And they're all jumping, they're all like, hey, jumping in the water and Bill's like, hmm, excuse me.

And like Esther Williams over here puts his hands out and does this graceful dive into the water like it's fucking Ariel in the little mermaid. He did, too, that was a beautiful dive. It was beautiful, it's here came to my eye. Yeah, that was very good. And they're all taking shots from the actual shaft of the dick,

which then I was like, what's, who made this dick? Cause I have a work. I mean, it's been a long time, but I was like, I don't think that, I don't think that's just filled with nothing. There are a lot of horrified faces in the crowd. I'm just saying, I'm saying, I'm horrified. I have a horrified face. Just think of what they did. Who even built that?

Do we have quality anymore in this country? They probably ordered that from fucking Joe Judice's dick collection. The first hollow dick you'll ever buy from fucking Judice over there. Alright, so let's go back to Teresa and Dolores in the... Wow, would they have cowboy hats in this cowboy store store? So Teresa's like... You know why? I just touched out loin. You want me to mean it. I was like, you know why I just touched out long. You want me to read that?

I was like, oh my God, I miss you. Oh my God, where are you, bloke? Why didn't you write me a man? But I'm leaving you, bloke. I'm starting you mom's life, bloke. Just getting in some money up, bloke. I'm all man, bloke. I'm all drinking through my...

You know, it's nonstop of fucking Teresa. Nonstop. Teresa, I'm gonna need you know, it's nonstop of fucking Teresa. Nonstop. Teresa, I'm gonna need you to slow down. You're activating my Bluetooth garage to us. Oh, wait, don't go down, don't go down. Do not go down. A sheep just ran into the fucking door. It's happening while I'm awake now.

Hey, Gabb, can you check on Dorg? I'm afraid he may have gone now with the garage door open. So things did actually happen. Like we're just making shit up at this point. Okay, so Teresa's like, Yeah, I ain't told him, you know, after last night, you know, how far away the boy is from me. And Dolores is like, listen,

this is what I want to tell you. You know, Dolores is like, listen, this is what I wanna tell you. You know last night, how you got the blind rage and all of that. She's like, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Listen, Margaret, when she needs to stop the way she talks and stops because she can't keep poking the bed

because the bed's gonna bite her bite my favorite, my favorite. So Delores is like, you know what I understand? I understand when you get like, if you know what I do when I start to see red, okay? I walk away. Well first I say shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch and then I walk away. First I, you know, Bob, my hat a little and go,

what are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What I do? And then I get a finger sandwich, you know? Yeah, you just walk away. No idea what I say. You think you're fucking special, because you cut a woman in half, that's a crime,

and my family's police officers. You better fucking put it back together again, and then I walk away. In addition, don't trust them. Fucking rabbit, you better fucking put it back together again. And then I walk away. Auditions, don't trust them. Fucking rabbit, you have mother fucker. You're having a lot of fun. I walk away. I walk away.

So she's like, you know, I bring myself down. You weren't there at the keg party when Jackie disrespected me. So I said, Jackie, I don't want to be this person, because we can't do this anymore. We got to control this rage. Is this mayonnaise? Doesn't have paprika in it. Because it's orange, but it still tastes like mayonnaise.

It's actually Chipotle. Oh, okay. All right. Wow, Jackie, you're like a magician. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm on rain. I'm on rain. So speaking of magic, Dolores is like, all I'm asking you is to walk in tonight like a lady. I'm like, it's been 12 years. This isn't happening. Yeah, it's not gonna happen.

Cattillion doesn't happen overnight, am I right? Ha, ha, ha. So then we got to Tiki. Now he's on like one of those swing, those outdoor swing bench things. It looks like a wedding promo where the groom is just like handsome and- It's like a lands in catalog.

Laying back, reading his book, for his radio show, still with that book. And so the girls come back and then they have this big long discussion about ice coffee versus hot coffee which I mean Marge is really getting to these ladies and I think it's where Teresa saw this scene and was like that bitch now they don't want ice coffee. It was like a whole scene about figuring out if they want hot coffee or ice coffee like how do you know it's the end of the season and trying to stretch out one more episode? As long as we're watching five minutes,

like, you want iced coffee? I want hot coffee. You want hot coffee? What about iced coffee? You know, teaky me, really good hot coffee. You want hot coffee? That was it. And I loved it, and Marge wasn't there so they would all admit that they would really like,

you know, hot coffee. And I was like, oh my God, these ladies are all going to turn on Marge the next season. Like, I see it coming now, you know? Marge was actually there, but she was in the corner of the scene I was like, oh my God, these ladies are all gonna turn on March next season. Like, I see it coming now, you know? Yeah. Margaret was actually there, but she was in the corner of the scene because she was frantically looking through cabinets.

I don't know if anyone knows that. She was opening and closing them like, where is it? Where is it? I was like, she needs her creamer, bad. Yeah. So they call in Tikki and they're like, Tikki, can you come in and trace? She's like, oh my God, he's like,

he's like a single name person, you know, like Madonna or Beyonce or something like that. And Jack, he goes, he's like, there is no other. I'm like, he literally has an identical twin. He has a very famous identical twin. They both played in the NFL. In fact, I think it's's even got a Super Bowl ring. Oh my gosh.

So, oh, oh, the people who decided like a straight thing. People are like, how dare you, solid, cheeky, barber, reputation. You see, I learned new things every day. Everybody was like, ooh. Everybody's chair backed up. Super Bowl ring competition. I was like, uh, but can we go back to our iced coffee? Everybody's chair backed up. Superbowl ring competition.

I was like, uh, but can we go back to our coffee? I mean, so the guys are wasted. They're coming back off the van and they're all falling over wasted, but Bill is the best. Because Bill's had the best day. He's walking home himself. He got wasted with the boys. He took shots at a dick all day, like let's face it.

And he got to show his amazing diving skills. So Bill's hair is like out, like it's all over, it's like Einstein, you know? And he just comes walking off the bus, like falling over, but he's like... Like he got moving his head back, like he's got long hair, I'm just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Let it go. No. Don't start me on that.

You know I'll never shut up. Now, welcome to the next three. We're going to be in the car tomorrow, all fucking day. And I'm going to be like, hold on, Ben. I just have one important song to play here on the iPad. Something to Ali Partimus, too, saying, let it go. I'm not just stop. We also got the answer. Let it go. and must have said, vertical! I'm not just stop. We also got the answer.

Let me go! We also got the answer to that question I've always had, which is who buys those Ferrari shirts? It's belated. You know, like those shirts like Porsche and Ferrari, like why are you buying a shirt? I don't wear a shirt that says Subaru Legacy, you know?

Yeah. It's like, seriously. Like, why are you buying a shirt? I don't wear a shirt that says Subaru Legacy, you know? It's like, seriously. I am wearing buckets. Oh, so uh. Yes. Bucket should have a car. So, let's see. So, the lady's like, oh my god, you got your trunk.

Can you take a shower? So, then this lady comes over. This really thin, you know, young, really beautiful blonde lady comes over. And she's carrying all this stuff and she knocks on the door and who's there to answer? Tiki. Yeah. And she's like, hi, I'm Abby, the decorator. He's like, hello, I'm Tiki, and I'm looking for a nanny slash intern. So, feel free to leave me your card.

If this wasn't the start of a porno, I don't know what is. I was like, welcome to the end of your marriage, Tracy. So then we have a reversal of the classic, what are you? Because we get a Frank, we're all here. She goes, oh no, don't tell me, oh god, you're passed out on the stuff animals again. Oh god, Frank. So he's like lying there like, she goes, so Frank, why did you have a crock and balls in your mouth when you face timed me? Do you want some peanut butter and chalk?

What Frank? I would just want. So they're doing dinner prep, and everybody's doing that. Think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, they're getting ready scenes. My favorite scenes. I love them on this show the most. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, And Jackie is, Jackie is accessorizing Evan. She's giving him a Bolo, but like, by the way, I wish Bolo were in this episode.

But, he's Bolo. She's giving him a Bolo, and he's like, I don't even know if I wanna wear this. She's like, no, it looks good. This Bolo, it looked like he was from the Legend of Zelda that thing. Look what you did to the ladies when you said Bolo.

Now they're just gone. They're just completely gone. They're gone from the show. They're like, oh my god, yes, going in on the air. That would be a dream, I'll say. You just don't say that in a live show. You just set people off.

They're going crazy now. Braw's flying up here. So they're getting ready and Bill and Jen are doing their cowboy cosplay, which I really like, where she's like, I got a whole step. It's the honky-tonk. And he's like, hey, partner. Mmm. This is my town.

You rode in on a very dangerous horse, ma'am. Mm. Very room for two of us in this town. You and your partner, blue face later. You and blue face, Siegel, better get out of my town, baby. Mm, everything's okay on the okay, A&O. I'm in a corral. Poor Bill. Everything's okay on the okay, you know, I'm in a corral. Oh! Oh!

Poor Bill. I like Bill. Oh, God. So, let's see. So everybody's getting ready. There's a dildo on Joe's floor, of course. You know, the broken dildo or whatever. And Melissa's doing this whole thing where she's acting shocked as if she and Joe had not

written out their plan for this entire trip Oh my god Joe, there's a penis on the floor Joe And he's like she says did you talk to did you talk to Louis about you know what happened with Teresa last night? And he's like yeah, yeah, he said you know, I love you sister and Yeah, yeah. He said, you know, I love your sister, and they're like, you know what, like, you know, I don't care what happens. Like, three of you's gonna die for me.

I'm gonna die for three, you know, it's nice. I was like, yeah, it was nice. It was a creepiest shit. Who says that? I'm gonna die for her. I know. I think she's gonna die for me. That just has goals.

All right. It's danger, danger. So then Jackie's talking. She's talking about Teresa. She's like, you know, Teresa's like the only wildcat tonight. And I hate that she can choose the temperature of the whole night.

And Margaret's like, you know, I'm not going to be rude, OK? But I'll talk to Teresa. But she has act like a grownup, not like a zoo animal. I'm like, well, once again, it's been 12 years. You don't get a job at the zoo and then complain that a monkey threw some shit at your face. You know what I'm saying? Part of the job, lady, buck up.

Yeah. So dinner. So Dolores is like, I hope everyone has a good time. This looks great. Anybody see the little blonde girl having a living scene. This looks great. Anybody see the little blond girl? Heaven's Heaven's Scenor around here. Yeah. I just see that book left on the bench.

Yeah. Weird. Strange, no one's at the ironing board today. So. Because Tiki always irons when Tiki turns. Oh. She's like, yes. I was like, oh.

It's a very specific call. I know. I need reference. You're right. No, oh, she's like, I was like, oh. It's a very specific call. I know. I need reference. You're right. No, no, you're right, though. I need some Tiki I. I didn't realize I missed Tiki ironing scenes until there weren't any. And then you reminded me that there were Tiki ironing scenes. I really need them back.

Because he always did it with such a smile, you know? He was like, how to go with the girls yesterday. Bill was passed out on the side because he's like, he's still wasted and probably also still high off of that, like 10 out of 10 dive that he did. I am. I mean, I know I am. My nose is about to bleed.

I'm like, God, that was good. Ha, ha, ha. So yeah, Bill's doing that thing where he's like, back in the chair and he's got the cowboy hat down, down, you know, to his, for the fuck you guys. So sorry. Like down below his nose. Yeah.

Hmm. Had a lot of buckies today, okay? I'm not a very healthy eater anyway, but I'm at sugar. I'm like, what time do we start? So anyway, Bill's like with his cowboy hat down below his nose, like snoring like, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, he must have great garage doors. Mmm. Mmm.

He must have great garage doors. And Martin, like a joke. Like a joke. He's dressed, he's not even dressed like a cowboy. He looks like Robert's in Nero today. Okay, not even Casino Robert's in there. It's like Awakening's Robert's in Nero. It's what we're getting from Joe Pabino. Oh, that, someone in there also is like,

oh, like not Awakening's like, oh, not awakenings. That was a very sad movie. Although I was like, I'm gonna go back to sleep, too. Like, I like that twist. Analyze this. Analyze this. So I don't really even remember that movie. I was just trying to remember a really sad Robert DeNiro movie, but they're also good.

I was like, how is this bad that he showed up as Robert De Niro? I love all of your films. So, oh, so good. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, Jen is like, hey, babies, we had a great day. Today our song's singing. I like that she called it our song singing. Also known as singing. You have to do our song singing. Come to listen to our song singing. Oh, de la Russ is too bad you missed out. It was such a good time of song singing today.

And so they're like, so delurious, did you get Teresa to say that she'll apologize tonight? And she's like, listen, I have no idea what's going to go on. Teresa's probably not going to apologize. All I ask is that I just get through some fucking bread before we start. So can I just eat the food tonight, all right?

And Marge gives Sevira Salantro a teeth vase. She's like, mm-hmm. Yes, she's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm So sorry for the people at home who have to actually listen to that part. And Jackie's like, that's not she feel like she has still apologized to Margaret for all the food and drinks she threw on her. And Margaret's like, I was like a guard march to Sposo. Okay, basically everybody just threw food on me. Didn't even turn me on. I just left with chunks all over me.

Does everybody think that okay? Is that okay now? It was diabolical. And Dolores is like, well listen, she feels like Margaret was judging Gluy by what she read about. I'm instead of getting to know him, you know what I mean? And Tracey's like, well how could you get to know somebody if they don't like you ask some questions about abusing women?

She's like, well, how could you get to know somebody if they don't let you ask some questions about abusing women? Did the telephone pole just talk? Hmm. So, Margaret's like, I would never throw the whole table on someone if I was friends with no question, she'd trick it at. I would never treat them that way.

But you know, next season, she's doing a whole table on someone, right? Yes. She'll learn. You know, Marge is getting there, because now this is a fighting against the queen on this show, and nobody, everybody who ever has the guts to do it, I think it's dead now. Like, I've, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, I think they're dead. They're dead. They're all dying. I can't think of one. Can you? What? Oh yeah. See?

Well, it's just like you raised his brain like the Bravo Gus. I was like, are you talking about Game of Thrones? I couldn't tell. So anyway. So, Jim's like, Well, Margaret, you should say that tonight, it depends. She shouldn't prove things on you. And, Margaret's like, she's got to come to me.

I'm not saying anything to her. So then. Uh-huh, huh, me, Mommy. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Like she's such a Theresa entwines. And by the way, this is like a, it's supposed to be a country, theme, dinner.

Theresa's wearing a snake skin bodysuit. And Louie is wearing a t-shirt with a skull on her. It's... You know, there's no right way to wear a snake skin. There's no right way to make a snake skin body suit. Because, you know, every rendition of it that comes out, the boss is like, okay, let me see this one. No, now there's like a big whole looking thing

end of a giant apart. We can't do that. So then they do another version. They're like, no, but now the print is like this on the vagina. Like we can't do that either. Like, how do you do it? I've never seen what? I've seen a lot of snake skin vagina.

I mean, oh. Oh, wow. You do so. Do so. I've seen a lot of snake skin body suits. I'm from El Paso, and I was raised on Telemundo. Okay, I've seen this done before. You're a snake skin vagina, and everyone knows it, okay?

It's okay, Ronnie. But also, when you're going up against March, you don't come dressed in the thing that March killed to decorate her dressing room with. You know what I mean? Because March's whole dressing room is done in snake skin. So Teresa may think she's winning. Oh, I'm gonna be right back.

You're about to be wallpaper lady. Have fun. So they walk in and everything. And you know, like Margaret's walk around and Teresa sees her and it's like Yeah, I knew I should have waited to like throw some shit on the route for today And Melissa's like I thought you were gonna say you should have said you're sorry Yeah Do they not count boy hats?

So then this guy walks up she comes lumbering out of the darkness. Like out of nowhere, like if this felt almost like a horror movie, but he walks up. And it's a line, line dancing instructor named Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. I know you guys want to learn about line dancing, but I have a few more fucking important things to think about! So he goes, he goes, he's like, hey y'all. What's happening, girls?

And then I'll go, hey ladies y'all look great by the way. Y'all look great. Look at that. Love it, Emma. I think I'm gonna need the ladies in the front and they're all gonna need the men in the back. I was gonna work. And it was like, that's just how we like it.

Mm-hmm. But he goes, the best part is that he's like, because this guy's hot by the way. And he goes, he goes, hi ladies, and they'll go, hi. Hi. Ha-ha-ha. So he gives them this line dancing class,

and only this cast could fuck this up. I mean, like, yeah. They just do heel toe, heel toe. Okay, all you have to do is do what he, any showing you, it's not like he's just going heel toe, and then making, all you have to do is do what any showing you It's not like he's just going heel toe and then making you figure out what he's saying, right? He's going heel toe heel toe with his heel on his toe not his hand like him He's doing that and then you just it just cuts to tree so like

It was literally like the walking dead. They're all like literally like the walking dead. They're all like Wow That was any of you guys ever had a job or done anything That was any of you guys ever had a job or done anything. Oh, so they're done doing this and Teresa goes to the bar and she's like, hang, can I have another drink? And the bartender goes, is this the first time you've been dancing? Yeah. Because when you took like it, you took two of my cadets to water and shunned. Not really.

We'll take stacks from the water. The fuck is this guy? Who the fuck is this person thinking that's from the water? I don't know, it's probably a fucking magician. So now they're like, okay everyone, time to play the song. So now me, foolishly, having just watched the real house of Orange County, where we see them in the...

We hear the... when we saw them laying on the track, they're all like, I do what I want! I do what I want! And then the song came out like, I do what I want. So I thought it was the same thing. Yeah, the actual recording comes out and it's like, hoping you could not come from, but the song you can say for the life of the poor.

So I'm thinking the auto tune gods are going to come in and it's going to be like lady drama. We got it from a moment. But instead it's like fake lips, fake hair, fake tits, and we don't care. There are moths! Did you love how Bill had a line in rhythm with the song? There are moths! That's who we are and how we're gonna be.

So let's let Willie take over Drunk Some of my own Even if we're seeing something on me Now it's just leaning We got him from our mom Stepping all our mama's on the wings on our feet No, I didn't know any mama I do

And then it cuts to the Laura, she just goes, what the fuck? And Teresa's like, now it's so big Willie Nelson's horrified. He's like, how dare you, man? So then Teresa's like, then Teresa has a real sick burns, guys. I don't like drama, that's it, my right like, so she probably can't do anything

because she's the one who likes drama, so the song is made after her. Ha! Ha! Then you'll say you're not loing on your pants. Why you kick loing? You step down my butt bubble, you cop fitness, doesn't it?

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! So they sit down to have dinner and Tiki is all the way at the end of the table, wiping his face. He's got like a little iron on the side. He's like picking the blonde hairs off of his jacket.

It was wrong, Dave. Oh, sorry. God, you think I'd said something about a Super Bowl ring. The way you guys reacted. So he sits all the way at the end and Bill goes, Ha! He goes, Ha! How I love where you're sitting, Tiki. Move the way at the end.

I always prefer the ends. And tables. He's like, he doesn't want to get a short dry clean today, Teresa. And Teresa's like, yeah, thank God I didn't have him last night. And he goes, you did? That's the point. He's sitting down there. So then they all, they're like, thank you

Dolores for a fun night of line dancing and weird singing. And they're like, thanks Dolores. And then night of line dancing and weird singing and they're like thanks Dolores and then they're like Time to eat Oh, no Like are they mining what's happening here the plates are like Bung! Make churro! Waaaaah! Brrrr!

Brrrr! Bung! Bung! Bung! Bung! What the fuck are they doing? What are they eating? Are they missing the food?

Are they just slicing the plate? Yeah. Weirdest sounds. So then, Teresa's like, all right, I like to see something, I mean. I wanted to apologize to the group, I mean, cause like me actions last night was like, Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink.

Well, I know normally act like the did that, except for seasons one, two, three, four, five. Wasn't here for six, I don't think, I don't think that one count. Uh, I mean, but you know, Louis is like the love of my life. And like when someone heard him, they heard me. So like, sorry, that you provoked me. Thank you.

And everyone's like, Teresa. Good job. That was very nice. That was very nice. That was very nice. That was very nice. That was very nice. That was very nice. That was very nice. That was very nice. And Marga goes, wow. Wow. Wow.

This cast is such a kiss ass. Full of such kiss asses. Yeah. That was amazing. Louis, like, nice job, bitch. Oh. Louis is just sitting there smugly like. Finally got some curd. So Marge of course is pissed and she's doing her pissed off set because she hasn't had

so long to her yet so she's like, so she's like that was an apology. She said I provoked it, that's it. And Tracy's like an apology fully excusace, he's like, an apology, full of excuses. You know what's an apology? I'm sorry for my behavior. That's an apology. And most of us goes, but it's a star.

I'm like, what is it? You are demanding apologies from Trace that every single episode in our life, and she's like, and she's like, yeah, so basically, she's not gonna get it, right? And everybody's kissing Tr's has so Jen's like

Mara's like no and so Jen turns to Teresa and she's not happy with your apology, which I thought was great Teresa I drew this and it goes, oh, and Jen goes, Margaret, and then Jen goes, I thought that it was very nice, Margaret, you didn't appreciate that. Margaret's what part? And so then Teresa just cuts the jet,

tour credits, she goes, it wasn't from Margaret. She just is like, she's not even pretend that it was the apology, she's like, it wasn't from Margaret. She just is like, she's not even pretend that it was the apology. She's like, it wasn't for her. Right. So then Joe's like, come on, it's Teresa. That's huge, okay? You know, the first time Teresa crossed the street when the actual guy turned white instead of orange

and didn't have a big ex over him, we were so proud of her, all right? It's Teresa. What are you gonna do? The girl just tried to eat a line off the street the other day, all right? Try to pick it up and eat it. It's like, Joe, that doesn't really work, you know. So then we got a dog, got it the shelter. And it just pisses everywhere.

Actually, that's Frank. Hold on. Let me start the analogy over. Go on out, please. So Joe's like, listen, March. All right, Margaret. I think that we can all act like adults, all right? Like Margaret's doing something. And she's like, listen, you're getting through one dinner

without becoming the floor of a five guys in two in the morning would be nice. OK, let's start there. I want everyone's dinner, so. Yeah. That's Reese's like, well, I didn't eat dinner that night. I know Margaret did,

because she always eats dinner. Oh. But Theresa's dishes are just so lame, because it's just the last thing she heard, because she doesn't even make any sense. Yeah, you know why? Dana, Margie's Dana. And they're like, ooh, ooh.

Oh, and Margie's like, did she just say I always eat? That's really nice. And Jackie's like, how dare she body shame Theresa? I mean, Margaret, she just never stops body shame. This has to stop. So she she tells Teresa don't do that and Teresa's like, but she wanted me to be sure to eat She's like oh Teresa coming out against people who eat dinner And that's how you anchor a house live, so ladies and gentlemen

So Tracy's like why would you speak to someone like that? And Jack, he's like, get to Reese. I don't love the way you treat my friend. He's like, well, I don't think that your friend is a good person. She's a topologized to me, but I didn't. There's nothing to apologize for. If you didn't go for the mozzarella sticks, that's on you.

And then we see Teresa on the phone earlier with Joe and Melissa going, I'm your sister and you need to set this bit straight. I mean, and if you're not gonna do that, then you ain't gonna have a relationship with me, all right? He's like, okay, I'll do it at dinner. Yeah, you better eat dinner. You better.

Just dinged on. What a dinged on. So then, uh, Marjorie's like, listen, Teresa, you just, that wasn't in the apology. You just made excuses. And see that even had a apologize entry. She's like, my lets that tell her to shut the fuck up, Melissa, do it. Do it, Melissa, that's your family, Melissa.

Melissa's like, oh my God, they're fighting again, and I'm caught in the middle. I feel like I'm being held hostage. It's like I'm trapped, like that year that Theresa was in jail. Oh. You felt held hostage? We all spent a year listening to you do.

I'm despair, I'm despair, I'm despair. You're not allowed to feel hostage, ma'am. So then they all have a competition to see who can walk away from the dinner table with the biggest announcements of walking away from the dinner table? This is very house-wise. Marge is like, that's it. I'm not going to take this.

You know what, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. And then Jack is like, you know what? I've had enough. I'm going like, that's it. I'm not going to take this. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. And then Jack is like, you know what? I've had enough. I'm going to go to. No, you know what? I'm not even going to be here anymore. I'm leaving too. I'm not going to. I want to go. I want to go. Hey, the law, why are you? I got to go. I got to go. Frank, we're talking about going into the house, not going to the bathroom for crying out loud, that puddle. The decorator, the decorator lady comes out zipping up her pants. She's like, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go.

They're just all walking off at this fight. Next time, on the season finale, a real hot swath of New Jersey. All right? Wearing a love bubble and no one popping there! Listen, Louis, you know, like you could have been an intoxic relationship like I get it, but you know what? They're like me on a Saturday, constantly coming. You know what I'm saying? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Right. What's the opposite noise of, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Well, I feel like I'm not going to downplay what we're saying about Louis. I'm done. I am done. I'm going to get it.

I'm going to go now. I'm done. I'm done. Seriously. I'm done with this. I don't need this. I don't need this. I don't need this! And that is the end of the real last five seasons!

Thank you all Houston for coming! Thank you guys so much for being here! I love all of you guys! Watch what crap ends, would like to thank its premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King! Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone. Courtney's amazing, Shadel. Dana C. Dana Dew. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels. Aaron McNickles. She don't miss no trickleess. Avon Aguila Weber. Jamie, she has no less name. Sip some scotch with Jessica

Tratch. Jess saying okay. We McLeven, Erin McLelland. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a Kissarino to Lisa Lino. She's our queen, Marie Levine. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors.

Always the wiser, wisers Allison Weasler somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva she leaves us in stitches it's Catherine Taylor don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides we will we will Joanna Rockland, you. My favorite Merto. Karen McMurdo. Kristen, the Ruby Rubano. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang.

The incredible edible Matthew sisters. No one makes us feel well like Megan Capsiwell. She's cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle. Nancy C. C. C. C. DeSisto. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Paging page mills, paging page mills. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Let's get racy with Miss Daisy. Let's take off with Tamla Plane.

She ain't no shrinking violet koo-tar. We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.