Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: More Madder, More Problems

Episode Date: March 12, 2021

Teresa is more madder than she's ever been on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and while it doesn't seem like there'll be any resolution to this feud anytime soon, Jackie is determined to cheer up Evan. And what better way to do it than by hosting a strange birthday redo where everyone must disavow the cheating rumor? This episode is Crappens on Demand! Watch it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/48640024Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's the crap is Who's the crap is Who's the crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's the crap is Who cares what happens Hello and welcome to Watcher Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.

I'm Ben Mandelker, you can also find me on the game brand podcast, if you like board games, etc. can also find me on the game brand podcast, if you like board games, et cetera. And joining me is my wonderful work, Husband. And if you heard a rumor that he's been cheating, I want you to stop what you're doing right now. Let him know, you think that rumor is fake, okay? Let him know, everyone, let him know, Ronnie Karim, what's going on, Ronnie? And do it over dinner for my 19th birthday, okay?

Hey, before you pick up that bean bag to play some more cornhole, I just wanted to take a moment and just tell Ronnie, he, we don't believe those rumors, Ronnie. We don't believe. You know, this show, like they don't even get the irony of going to convince everyone that Aaron Evan didn't cheat over a game of cornhole. I mean, come on, guys, it's so on the Cornhole. It's it is. So we're talking real housewives of New Jersey today. And before we dive into that, just a heads up that this is a crap in on demand episode.

So you can watch us record, not just listen. So the things that you would get to see while you watch us, maybe Bueller's gonna sneak up with behind Ronnie today. You can look at Ronnie's Goonies teacher, you can look at my teacher that says, Dream, which is actually from the Zach Theater in Austin, Texas, so it's a little nod to Ronnie himself. Oh.

And who knows what else you might see? But there's stuff, there's stuff to see. So go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ends and sign up at crap and send a demand and you get access to this and you also get access to our discord server Which is really fun and also our bonus episode and we had said that we were gonna cover the Megan Markle and Prince Harry Interview and wand division, but we got so caught up talking about Harry and Meghan that we have tabled WandaVision for next week. So if you haven't watched WandaVision and you want to hear our

thoughts on it, you have you have from now until next week to watch that whole crazy show. And there will be no spoilers over here. But everyone does. Everyone dies. But everyone dies in the first episode. And yeah, first episode is action packed. So brace yourself. Um, so anyway, let's talk, let's talk to Reese's vision today. How about that?

Let's talk to Reese's vision. Very, very narrow, narrow to Reese's vision. Hey, why is this black and white? Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like Which so anyway, so the episode opens up We're back. We're still in Lake George. It's the next day after they got There's something I noticed in the opening where they're showing like You think I'm a mini ball. You got balls or whatever their opening lines are Teresa Teresa does there's one little shot of Teresa is like a pink avatar. What is that? I can't wait for that episode. I don't know.

I'm still just enjoying Dolores posing in front of the refineries. Here I am in front of Jersey's most beautiful sites. It's the Frank of buildings. Yeah. I know that's all I see that a lot. Now, Tee, since you posted that, that's all I see in my opening now. T since you posted that that's all I see in my opening is that and then Teresa is a weird pink avatar like I'm from the computers

James Cameron is really lowered the bar there guys So Everyone's waking up their brush and their teeth putting on face creams, all that fun stuff. Margaret is having a ban on issues. She's like, where'd Lexi go? Where's Lexi? Where's Lexi? Where's Lexi going?

Where's she going? Um, and I want the real house size of New Jersey fun music playing while I'm brushing my teeth because it's like boom, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da and it's just the Laura's like, I'm brushing my teeth. What do you want for me? You want to put a fucking camera in here to brush my teeth there? You're going to get the full effect of it. I'm brushing my teeth still.

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, yeah, I'm a fucking teeth. I'm brushing my teeth. Right. You know what my favorite toothpaste is? Crest. Boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, doo, doo, doo. Do you do it? Oh, what?

I can imagine, I can imagine Dolores just walking into CVS and saying, hello, do you have any crest? Just like, yes, oh, sorry, I just talked to my microphone back, sit in, I hope everyone's okay, that made it. I'm ruckus, I'm sure. That's what I got to make in front of Dolores. And whoever dresses Theresa, like whoever her gay is really knows Theresa well because you know that Theresa is that kind of person who just walks out into the street.

You know movies how the way they shock you, someone just like it's walking across the street grabbing their keys and a bus just slams into them, you know. You know that that's true because you're always I'm always thinking when that happens in a TV. It's like happens in every mystery suspense show I watch at least one character It's like we're almost we're almost at the end of this case and boom the bus comes and you're like how did this woman never Man ever see the bus coming, you know, and you know, that's just Lisa So you know her gay really knows that about her because she's dressed like a caution sign I mean there is no excuse for that color

There was no use. And while we're talking about Teresa's fashion, she's also got this new thing where she's getting like ripped up t-shirt material and then like tying it into weird nets and those are her cover-ups. Have you noticed that? I did notice it looked like she got caught in a tuna net. She or or or or she just like. Really, she's fishing, you know. Yeah, or got like slam dunked, you know, like. Yes. Something's going on. Either way, it doesn't look like fashion, it just looks like an actual net of some sort

that she got in. And it does. Like a homemade one with tied together t-shirts. Like, like she was, you're going to use that to break out of jail potentially. Like, it's like, it's like, it's a little squish. She picked up and in case. But Teresa is too dumb to just make of jail potentially. It's like it's a little scratch. She picked up and in case. But Jerry's is too dumb to just make one long rope. She just keeps tying the wrong ends of it together. We got coffee. We got coffee. We got coffee. We got coffee.

Surprise me. I'm so happy. Wonder what then they start talking about the night before they heard noises in the wood and then went running into the house and they're talking about I wonder what, they're like I wonder what was in the woods. Maybe it was like a fox repair and then Jennifer goes, I'm saying foxes on my block. Yeah. I got foxes on my block. I was like, okay, simmer down, like bit part from Greece.

He got you want to see Foxes? I got foxes in piramus all over piramus. So then Dolores is calling David and she's like, hello, David. You know, what are you doing over there? Could you call Gabby? Gabby has a stomach ache. Could you just do that for me, David? All right.

So, David, can you pick up some more crass, David? Thank you. Don't, don't, don't, damn it. I said, you know, I even mentioned brushing teeth and that music comes on. All right. Listen, you know, David and I are still in a fight after our fight.

All right, we're in a bad place. You know, look Let me show you what a bad place where David when you go into the store see You know what we actually pitched our relationship to NBC and we said it's called the bad place, but they didn't pick it up You know what I pitched another one called the stand and let me tell you they didn't even take my plot. No one gets moved into. All right, by the end of the season. Thanks a lot, Steven Spielberg. Okay. I pitched another TV show called the Home Office. It's just me. The Home Office. It's just me talking to the camera shrugging about nothing in my house. I just, here's, okay, here's my pitch for the home office. Okay, scene one, I walk from the kitchen to the living room,

to the kitchen, back to the living room, back to the kitchen, cut away to me sitting in front of vertical blinds, shrugging, saying, that's work. Oh my God, I think I saw that show. It made me want to blow my brains out. Not going to lie. I'm going to blow my brains out. So we find out where, oh, she's like, well, you know, Dolores says, but that's us.

You know what? We get in a fight. You know, we defrost. We take time. We can do that because we're not married. Okay. We don't live together. So we can do that.

You know what? I don't, I don't have a toothbrush at his house, so we can branch. All right, that's about it. I think, by the way, I think it's a bad thing if you're comparing your relationship to the experiential arc of a lean cuisine. You know what, that's what we do. We just, we're, we defrost. And we come together. And you have a lovely meal. And you say it's in calories. Yeah. Virgid loves us. So Lexi ended up going to get

everyone breakfast. And Teresa, you know, Teresa is grateful as ever. It's like, that's himself there at me. Because it's a croissant. And so Margaret's on the phone with Joe, which is, hi, hi, my sweet. What's going on? What's happening? Did you use up all the fun Fidi cream? Okay, what's going on? And he's like, oh, you know, definitely nothing,

definitely nothing. And then we see flashbacks of last night because all the guys were partying and the basement of the basement. And then Margaret's like, so what? So like you guys have like so you guys didn't even, you guys talk about the whole situation. You talk about it. And Joe's like, no, no, no, not at all. And of course, they not only do they talk about it, but Joe is the one who's like, yeah, I've actually heard those rumors before in my very own house.

Yeah, my wife's been talking about it for years. All right. So, she's like, well, you know, Melissa and I caught Jackie. And Jackie was really digging a heel sit and show. You know, she wants to treat it quite every, but it's gonna, I just feel really bad about that. Yeah, she's never gonna do that. Teresa doesn't even know how to dial a phone still.

She doesn't even know how to work a Siri just here. She says, hello, Sarah. Could you do me a favor and dial my phone? I mean, the woman's an idiot, so. All right, let's get back with the kitchen. Oh, no. Sarah, the Amherst educated digital assistant. Hi, my name's Sarah.

I don't know how I got trapped in your phone, but I guess I have to look things up for you. I actually have a degree in comparative literature. At some point I got stuck in Terea Juice ISIS phone. It's like the worst phone I could possibly be. Hey, Sarah. Hey Sarah. Sarah, look up.

Look up how do you say, I think, what's a good thing to say when you're more mad about something, Sarah? Huh? Hey Sarah, what's a good thing to say when you're more matter about something Sarah? Huh? Hey Sarah, what's the tempi? I'm sorry. What was that? What was the tempi?

I have no idea what you're saying. I don't know where I'm going to win this wrap up. You dumb bitch. Like Teresa's probably gone through 30 phones because Sarah doesn't work. I'm not going to talk to Sarah until she piles guys into me. It's like, ah, she's a digital assistant. Sarah's like, I still can't tell, are you looking for a

tempered. Or the temperature? What do you want? I'm a pt. You better watch him out, bitch. So she would say that. So all the girls are sitting outside by the leg. All the ladies, sorry, I'm turning into a Jersey guy. I'm like, hey girls, all the ladies are sitting outside and trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees,

trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, Teresa is showing everybody pictures of Tony the hot pool guy and his Instagram is like 170 pounds full more to go any ideas ladies And Dolores goes that's a man right there. I mean look at those arms. You could probably use a hammer No, I wasn't talking about almond hammer toothpaste Stop it

common habit toothpaste. Stop it. I'm gonna call him right now. Hey Sarah, call to all of me. The only contact I have in here is for Tony the Tiger. Is that what you meant? Yeah. Hello, this is Tony the Tiger speaking. Frank, what are you doing? All right, I told you to stay home and brush your teeth. Don't. Don't. I'm sorry to Laura, I need to pick up some extra money. So I've been doing the Tony the Tiger's hotline.

They're great. Tony, why are you putting that picture on Instagram? Did it? And he's like, you like it? Yeah. Hey, thanks for fixing my phone. I am. He fixed my phone. I'm dead. So did you notice Teresa was really talking like us this whole episode? I was cracking

out. Teresa English's hilarious. I give a fix to the din din din din din din din din din din din din din din din din din all right. With her loose pointing style, you know, because she doesn't, she never really brings all her fingers together. So she doesn't point like this. She's just like her fingers kind of like hang in mid-air and she just has a one that's

out there. You know, it sort of is like this, okay, this is a crap and it's on demand bonus feature of like hang in mid-air and she just has a one that's out there. It's sort of is like this, okay, this is a crap is on demand bonus feature is my hand impersonation of Teresa right now. Yeah. Hey, thanks for fixing my fountain day today, right? And this is like, yeah, she'll pay you whatever it is. Ha ha ha. I meant sex Tony. I meant with sex and Tony goes, yeah, you know what? I haven't even had a taste yet. All right, but we're gonna we're gonna got a lock. I'll Adriana.

That's for sure. And say, oh my god, you know what? Adriana called him. Ha, a mommy still. Delores is like, you talk to your friends with that mouth. Do I just mention mouth? I just mentioned mouth. Why are we going into the into the to the brush montage? All right.

I just wanted to say that. Okay. Thanks for the call of fixing your fountain probably nine months ago. Yeah. So March is like the men went out last night. That I didn't go off. You know what?

I was just thinking about Jackie. You know, I'm more mad at now. I want to. Before I was I was I was less mad at, but not more matter. I'm like mad at now. That's what happens. Before I was, I was, I was less mad at, but now I'm more mad at. I'm like, mad, I'm, I'm, I'm most mad at than I've ever been. I'm dark mad at right now. I'm just getting dark over here. I'm not apologizing.

I'm not going to say sorry. And just like, you know, treat this as seeing me. And she doesn't want to talk about something and then she's like wait Now I remember what's on my mind Take that fox you know what's on my mind a fox on the block I like the standing dust I can do lots of hand motions now when I podcast That's very exciting you hand motions now when I podcast.

That's very exciting. Um, so Teresa is like, she wants me to call her husband. Her husband's probably fucking the gym. I'm like, way to go about that, like not spreading rumors thing, huh? I don't want to disturb him. He could be at the gym right now. Fucking people. I'm like, you know what? If you guys you better stop talking about it, because if you keep talking about it, I'm gonna get more angry they did. All right. Thank

God she's not here. I probably would have rounded her. Which is a natural quote. You were less than I think about it anymore. All right, let's skip swimming. That's what we can achieve now. Well, you know what? Thank God she's like, did I say she drowned it? Yeah. Yeah. I was drowning. Sorry. We both have to say I would have drowned it. Drowned it. Drowned it. Drowned it. I'm more mad at that. You said it adapted me. What's going on over there? I unplugged my headphones again. Shot. You know, there's nothing like calling someone else stupid while you do things like unplug your own headphones. You must have been more mad at your headphones than ever before. I

So anyway, so then Dolores Dolores pulls genocide and is like hey Jen Why are you gonna tell Melissa about Michelle's room? Or I just want to know because it's gonna be hilarious And Jen's like us from the opportunity presents itself, Fox lady. You know, if there were rumors about me, I would want to know, but it's Melissa here, and I have to make sure I do it the right way. I'm just going to jump down the track, baby. I don't want, I don't want this to turn out like that fox on the black, huh? Run over by a Toyota 4 runner that Gabriella was driving, huh? So they go down the lake and my next note is something about sex on the counter.

I'm not rewinding. I don't see anything about sex on the counter. I think I just did not commit that to memory because this is when we had like a series of shots of Teresa's ass. It was like series of shots of Teresa's ass. It was like every single shot was Teresa's ass. First with the basketball net on it, then like without the basketball net, it was just everything. And, but as she's wearing that basketball net,

she's over her like tennis ball bathing suit. She goes, I'm making believe I'm in Santa Pay. I'm like, yeah, this is like a vision of Bridget Bardot right here In a tune in it With like Can attached to her foot or something

And So they all go down to the lake and Lexi is really a good friend of because she really is just the assistant She's like yeah, Lisa I brought you a rosé Not one More do you want to have it up a row sprint sir? So it's like more shots more shots at Teresa's ass. There's pool toys and then Dolores Dolores then summarizes her entire experience On the real housewives for the past four years. Do I feel the need to do something active? I don't I don't I'm just gonna defrost over here

Captain Teresa looking at all the water twice and she goes, the kayak. I guess we got to put that in the water. Oh my, looks around. No, you have to take it to the airport so it can get into the lineup, get into the skies. Celebrity beef. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife.

And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Jen gives Melissa some shit because Melissa, of course, is on the Vanderpump blow up swan thing.

And she's like, you know what, that girl's out there like who's my beautiful, the swan of me. Definitely me. She's such an ice princess. But I hope I don't get ice princess when I give a knees about a husband. She's gonna be the ice princess

that jumps out my throat, baby. She's just like a little off today. I heard her little off today. I agree, that was like, oh, that was a long way to go. Like the ice princess, but the ice princess who jumps out my throat, like, isn't that what an ice princess should sort of do, I guess? Like, I agree, her work was a little off.

Yeah. Not her a game so Marj is like well I wonder if treats gonna sleep at Tony's fat and fix it loris is like I mean it could happen they're two warning people I right you know what you never know what they're gonna do I think I have sex just keep it's oral. I didn't even say oral B. I didn't even let me get the B out. So there's a hot guy on the dock and they're like, oh my God, look, it's a hot person. See what I mean? People who are horny, let's try and get them with Teresa. So they're like, hi, guy of dog. Hey over there. Hey Fox. Seeing you in my neighborhood before.

What's your name? He's like Kyle. How are the. You haven't seen that. See that. Manchin on the hill in Paramus. Yeah, baby, that's my little fox. So he's 27.

I'm like, bye, you know, So they all go back up to the house. I just want to say one thing before we move on was that like in the mix of this, they're talking about, Teresa talking about dating and how like the second time around she wants to get it right and stuff. And so Dolores tells us, you know what, Tony, we all grew up with him. Okay, not that there's anything wrong with any of these guys. You know, they're loyal. They would kill for you, like literally kill for you.

They're all in the mafia. But you know what? You just got to get out of this small pond. I'm like Dolores. You are like in a puddle right now between Frank and David and your children. I don't, you get, you're in no place to be talking about, about ponds or lakes or any bodies of water until you get out of your puddle. And you're like literally vacationing going to pond too.

And that too. Yeah, so, uh, Jen's like, Hey, Melissa, I could just stand back. Okay, Melissa, I said, you know, Michelle. And she's like, um, I mean, kind of. Um, she was good on Glee, but then she got canceled for me. Not me, Michelle. Michelle, the real estate lady.

Oh the one who wrote that book about becoming a real estate. No, that's Michelle Obama just called becoming a deep bitch. Oh no, I do love Michelle. You know when she sat on top of that piano and just started that you know that was your favorite. Oh listen, I love Michelle. I just feel bad that everyone just gives more attention to Kelly and beyond say, no, I don't even, but it's gonna be five hours. Okay. I know. Michelle is a very typical name.

Okay, what do you want from us? So Melissa, Melissa's like, oh, yeah, I know that girl. Um, and she knows she's in trouble because she's doing that hair pet thing, you know, the housewives do when they're in trouble. Yeah, it's not a Rapunzel. What's it again? They try to Rapunzel their own head. They're going to climb up their own head. So she's like, yeah, I knew what you might have been through growing with Gorgah, which still I die every time I hear grown with Gorgah. And then we get a clip of grown with Gorgah and all these dudes in the audience like, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.

It's like just watch a clip of Tom Cruise and Magnolia. So yeah, and then we see Michelle interviewing Gorgah and Melissa and she goes, what's your definition of a power couple? Like, why are you asking these dude? The like the failed proprietors of a pasta joint in a power couple. Like, why are you asking these do the, the, like, the failed proprietors of a pasta joint in a strip mall? You're asking them what's a power couple? Yeah. Um, and Melissa's like, well, I really don't know where though. You know, she just interviewed us. I mean, like, do you think, do you think Briar now, one's coming over

for dinner? I mean, what do you want for me? And she's like, well, I just wanted you to know. She had mentioned something about Joe. She basically told me that her husband, the Joe husband, what's the best of split? Grabbing with Kong up 50, 50, and she never got paid, baby. And she said it was 10s of thousands of dollars. 10s of thousands. Wow, that's actually a lot less than I thought you were going to say.

I mean, what? I don't know what you're talking about. Who would split evenly money with someone who announces them? I don't know. I actually think, believe it or not, I actually think this, nothing about this makes sense. And I actually think that Joe is for once not being shady here. Now, if you can get the wife of the pasta shop owner in here, I would love that shit.

Cause you know, there's some, you know, there's some good. I was going to say T there, but I hate that. You know, there's some good like Rigatoni there. Rigat, you can't spell Rigatoni without T. So, uh, Rigatoni, that's actually the name of Tony's pool service. So, so Jen is like, hey, don't shoot the messenger baby. I'm just a simple girl, you saw a fox on a block, right? Pizza bago.

And so, Melissa's like, well, this doesn't sound right at all. I mean, why would my husband even split grow with Gorga? Am I right? Am I right? So I actually think that makes sense. I don't think Joe Gorgah would ever agree to splitting split the proceeds from grow with Gorgah with anyone. Yeah. So they go back up and March is like, where there's the end time.

Where are they? The feeds here. And Melissa's mad. So she's like, so the, where are they? The feeds here. And Melissa's mad. So she's like, so does tree know this? Because this is tree's friend. And tree's friend is talking about her brother, which is fucked up. So thank you for telling me.

All Melissa knows is that she has a chance to test tree and then get some ammunition for later on when Theresa inevitably turns on her again in her life. Right? This is like a, well, you didn't stand up for your brother moment, right? So now she's just trying to milk this so hard. So, so yeah, so she's like, it's pretty fucked up,

but it's talking shit about your brother. So, Teresa, like, what are you guys talking about, huh? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? And so Melissa says, did this Michelle tell you about, that she was talking shit about your brother? Huh? No, who's Michelle? Who that who that you know like Joe owes in money. Yeah, a Jackie's party. She said that Mel

She said that Joe owes her like tens of thousands of dollars or something and tens of thousands of dollars or something. And Trees like, uh, well, I don't know about that. She shouldn't have done that at in. Like, well, but doesn't annoy you. That she's your friend and she's talking shit about your breath at Teresa. Like, ah, ah, you know, you know,

what we don't know what these guys are doing. That guy's, you know, I don't know what they're doing. Maybe, you know, Joe could be doing anything, right? Yeah, he could be like putting together a fake house for someone. He could be sleeping with his sister or someone or he could be like not paying his bills or something. I don't know. She's the number one realtor in New Jersey. I rang and I didn't believe it. And so when she came, I touched her.

She's real. All right, it's true. They say she's the number one realtor in New Jersey because she sort of looks like one of those number one candles. You get for your kid on a they turn one years old, you know, she's all looks like that, right? Huh? Huh? So you still work with her Teresa? I like, well, you know what, call my brother and see what he said. I did. And Marjorie's like, you know, I will say that's very unprofessional on this Michelle girls part. Okay, that's gonna fuck up your business. And that's for sure. If somebody ripped you off and then you actually say something about it, how dare you? You know, you know, who doesn't have a business?

People who call the police. Okay, I'm telling you that right now. It's gonna fuck up your entire life. It's all fucked up. It's all fucked up, right? So, um, Melissa calls up Joe and he like answers the phone so loudly, he's like, hello? I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you on the boat, Joe? Yeah, I'm on the boat, I'm on the boat. So Jennifer said that Michelle went up to her and said, said, you owe her husband tens of thousands of dollars

and he's like, how do I owe him money? Like, I don't even have my own money right now. We're barely scraping by. How I owe him money. And how much is tens of thousands of dollars again? How much is that? It's like you just see like the beautiful month and month numbers flying around Joe on the boat.

But it's like not a lot of numbers though. So it's just like like a number goes whizzing by and then you have to wait like 10 seconds for another one to whizz by. And there's like like a lot of numbers though. So it's just like a number, it goes whizzing by, and then you have to wait like 10 seconds for another one to whizz by. And there's like a little squiggle. Like it's a very, very sad, beautiful mind. Then I just set my track with like one of those like naked ladies looking up. Yeah.

A peace sign just rolls through. Just random clip art now. It's a hot dog. It's like one of those old-fashioned fingers. That's like dying here. Yeah. You know what? Like you can't trust these guys, right? Like Joe, Joe would tell me nothing. He'd be like, oh, it's all right, honey. It's all right. All right. You know what happened? Did it? I went to jailed it. All right. Yeah. I was a little more extensive than Matt.

You actually got on the stand and lied. fucking ass off as well, okay, right? I love your I love your uh, and as last we saw that this is this is a good skill that you have so Gorgas like he's like we had no deal I mean one of our friends hooked us up like physically it was a great Great attraction that we had and then you know we brought 10 people that had to take registrations and then he gave me a bill at Payton done done Yeah, and then months later he goes, you know, what how much money did you make with grown with Gorgah? And once he saw the success he thought how can I get my money?

And she's like, oh, so you didn't have a deal. He's like, no, you know, I'm not that guy You know what? I'm the amazing kitchen renovator guy on Instagram. All right What's the number one rule of business in Jersey? Never put anything in writing, you know? So then we cut back to the lunch and like, he's like, Oh, I just love this salad. Peach spinach and balsamic. And Melissa's, so Melissa comes back.

Well, I just spoke to your brother, which, oh, you know, she's always in a personality mood when she refers to Joe as your brother, also known as your husband. And she goes, and he's like, I don't know, I'm a dollar. We never talk anything like that. And Dolores, like, well, this is so ridiculous. You know, this is, I don't want to hear anything more about this. Dolores. Yeah.

Dolores immediately on the wrong side of everything. It's like, this is ridiculous. You know, what if I see that Michelle girl again she's in trouble I mean I saw her at that party and she escaped by the skin of fratis don't stand on up don't someone says like why are you always picking shitty friends Teresa you know I mean you bring all these cokes around she's like shame with nice to me huh hoops around she's like, she ain't with my tummy. Ha. What could I do?

She was nice to me. So then Melissa's like, but she's talking shit about your brother. Why don't you say it on me, huh? So, Melissa says, well, just a couple of weeks ago, you know, Joe, Judy is talking about me in the press. And Teresa said nothing. You know, and then she's coming for Joe and stuff. And the press and Teresa said nothing. You know, and then she's coming for Joe and stuff

and the press and Teresa is saying nothing. The press has written down words. What do you expect from the woman? Right. Well, I mean, but she's right, though, because if it was the other way around, Teresa would be raising hell. So Melissa, Melissa is really trying to get a rise out of Teresa. So she's like, I just think it's a little disrespectful to you that she's talking about your only living family member, your parents died. God, I can't rub it in.

I can't rub it in. Teresa's like, Lisa, I'm gonna handle it on Wednesday. Okay, don't make me more madder than I already am right now. Okay, but she is a great fucking real estate agent. So just saying, just saying, just saying. Yeah. Says Teresa, who's like, when is she ever sold a house? How does Teresa knows so much about this girl's ability?

So then Barbara Corcoran's newsletter or something, what's going on with this? So then we're back down on paddle boards again. I don't know. They're really stretching up and down, up and down this episode, up and on those areas. They're really stretching. And March gets a text. And I was excited.

I was like, oh my god, something good's going to happen. But no, it's just the chef is going to set up a veterinarian stuff. Yeah, she's like, the chef's here. I'm going to go upstairs. So like, we've gone up and down and down. And our Margaret's going back up again and Colin and Kevin are here to make dinner.

And then we go over to Jackie's house. We haven't seen Jackie in an episode. So her kids are doing what they do best, throwing balls around the driveway, which is like pretty much all we ever see them do. What kids do. And then Jackie is like having her leave it to be for a moment. You play in with you play with untied shoelaces.

Can I tie it for you? No, can you tie it for yourself? Yes. Ha family. Motherhood in my life. So Uncle Eric comes over. And, huh? Oh, I thought his name was Larry.

Maybe it's Eric or brother, Eric. Yeah. And, um, she's, she's like, look, Eric, the kid lost another two, two nights ago. Wow. So Eric, what's new? And he's like, I've been bowling very well these days. And she's like, do you feel safe bowling? He's like, I wear a mask.

No, bowling. It's very, very dangerous. It's very No bowling. It's very, very dangerous. It's very dangerous. It's a very heavy ball. Okay. Yeah, especially when two easy shows happen, Spitz rumors about your pins. So anyway, we learned that he went, he was one of his unfortunate souls who went on a cruise right during the, when coronavirus really went nuts and all those people stuck on cruise liners, got coronavirus and then got stuck out on sea, like trapped in their rooms for a month,

which is, which is, I got to feel bad for him and anyone who went through that, gosh. And she felt really sad that she couldn't help them because he is learning to say a bold and she's always had a sort of a protector role of him. And so naturally she talks about Theresa. So she's always had a protector role of him. And so naturally she talks about Theresa. So she's like, she's a very special scene with her brother. She's like, how was bowling? Great.

Can I tell you about my friends? Okay, this is someone who I thought was a friend, but this person was very, very mean to me. By the way, you notice that people in Jersey always say very, like, very V-A-R-Y. Very, very, very, very mean to me. Very, very mean to me. By the way, you notice that people in Jersey always say very like very V-A-R-Y. Very, very, very mean to me. Very, very mean to me. I like how she came about it because she's like,

were you okay during Corona? And he's like, I'm scared, but I'm okay. You know, my friends are nice. And she's just, oh, you love your friends, don't you? That's so nice. Sometimes my friends aren't very nice at all. It's like, oh my God. It's a great thing. You love the guy to have his corona moment.

I know. So he's like, well, what did she do wrong? And she's like, well, she's prepared a very mean rumor about my family. And he's like, well, that's no good. I mean, I hate when people bother me. I hate it. But then I get over it. I'm trying to be better about brushing it off. And she's like, well, how am I supposed to move on when my heart, when my heart feels so bad? I mean, there was a rumor out there. And I was very, very hurtful. And I don't think I can get over it. He's like, oh, he's like, I do things that make me happy. And she's like, um, so you think that someone mean can actually get better? And he's like, yeah, it can happen. And she's like, hmm, no, get

out. Before you leave, though, could you happen. And she's like, hmm, no, get out. Before you leave, though, could you tell Evan you don't believe the rumor? Thank you. So then we're at dinner and everyone, you know, cheers, cheers, cheers. And Melissa's like, oh, you know, I'd like to say thanks to the husbands and I feel so sorry for you single people. I mean, you can't even get out there and date now because of Corona. Oh, I think I'm so a lot sorry for you guys. I feel sorry for the people out there who I actually am like happy for the people who are out there who like don't have to, about Teresa hitting them up.

Hey, you looking? Yeah, so they're talking about online dating and stuff, and Teresa basically is not going to do online dating because she's like, it's going to be on every tabloid. And then Dolores is like, you know what? During quarantine, there have been a lot more divorces, but guess what, it's a lot more single people, okay? It's like when I tell Frank, Frank, get the hell out of my closet,

there's single people out there, you're bothering me. Dolores, I can't, there's like that one, go out there. Well, let us Teresa's logic that if she goes dating online, people are gonna, the tablets are gonna catch her, but the tablet's catch that if she goes dating online, people are going to, the tablets are going to catch her, but the tablet is catch her because she's dating in real life. You dumb dumb. Well, I think that she just doesn't want to put up a profile and then have it splashed all over the tablets because you know, it is sort of a vulnerable thing. You know, when you put up those profiles and then if someone's like making fun of it like us, it feels like shit. Yeah. So then,

these Melissa's like, I just left Corona because I'm just reading so many books, which I don't think anybody believes. I'm sorry. Nobody is buying that. And Martin's like, you know, but you know, I got into fashion and she's saying this with like a gigantic fake for green, you know, one of those green puppet coat things on. It's like, you know, but I got into fashion because it's a kid of the mom's we're reading their kids books.

And my mom was reading me Vogue and Harpers. Now somehow Moby Dick got on there, which is why I had the idea for Moby Dick and put it on Harpers besides then lost all my money. But you know what, you can read it down in the book, champagne, budget. No, champagne of tuna fish. I really appreciate the homage to it to reset that the way. The work entitled. Yeah. Um, you know what I read during quarantine? I read about, I read a biography about run brand. I'm talking about the painter, not the toothpaste provost.

I'm talking about the painter. I'm talking about the painter. I'm talking about the painter. I'm talking about the painter. I'm talking about the painter. I'm talking about the painter. I'm talking about the painter. I'm about Rembrandt. I'm talking about the painting to not the toothpaste Bravo. So guys, by the way, just since Lexi gets so few lines, I have to always recite them when I hear them. She says thought we'd get it to force, but we got through it. It brought us closer to the weed, why? Yeah.

It's like, what is that accent? So mind is like, all right, you know, but every time with the beats, I don't need to look at the beats while I announce it. Beat the treats. Okay. The beats are gone. So I just wondered everyone to know, I kind of booked it. Okay, it happened very fast.

Oh, congratulations, how wonderful. Yeah, we've got the chapter at- Long. Long. Yeah, the first chapter's called, like, wolf and sheep's clothing and something like that. Second one's called, there's a table in the dining room. Did the next one's called, Joe, take a shower.

The one after that's called, I like black stones for my pathways. Do you like bricks? We still work in chapter six. A crib haunted house behind me, I can't sell. Okay, well, it's a working time. All right. Working then I can't sell two in the fish. So anybody want to read fun fedie creamer. That's that's chapter seven through nine. It's actually three chapters of fun fedie creamer. Yeah.

I'm actually very excited because it's about my pitfalls in business. Listen, a lot of crazy things happen to me in business. It's a woman in business. You know, I mean, since gone center, it was the 80s, and then they show pictures of her looking exactly the same, like literally exactly the same, like little pig tails standing by a trash can, you know. I was like, this could literally be your opening shot of a show. You know, and back then, you know, it was a different time.

You know, people were sleeping with it, but us, you know, and you felt pressure. And I was 22, and you know, I had my first boss, I was 22, so it's like 20 years old, just something. And we'd go out, you know, we'd go to his apartment, and then he would pressure me to sleep with them. You know, I did it. You know, it was awkward. I didn't really want you. But I did it.

It's not a great story. So should that go in the empty acre with tea and a fish? Or do you suggest that the time I got sued by the rest rest for less will? So. And the girls are all shocked. You know, especially Jennifer, she's like, I wouldn't put that in a book, baby. You know what's good for a book? The time you saw a fox on your black baby! But they're all like, oh my God, how could you even share that? I was like, please stop shaming Margaret for going through something, but she was probably, I think it's great that she's actually very forthcoming about it and talking about it. And it's like, she shouldn't be feeling shame for doing that.

She'd be the guy who should be feeling shame. Like, that's like in a way, like Jennifer being like, maybe you don't share those sort of things, is this, is like that, that's the thing that makes people not want to step out and report it. I mean, it doesn't sound like Margaret was like terribly traumatized by it, but obviously it was something that was, not that that matters, but it obviously

was something that disturbed her. But either way, I do not appreciate Jennifer's juggie, juggie eyes. You know what, it's like a golden throne with velvet to jibbi from Ashley furniture. Some things you just take to the grave, baby. So, Margaret's like, you know, I just didn't want people to make the same mistakes that made. I mean, do you know I spent four years making coffee without even putting cream in it? Like, that's crazy. Okay. Listen, I met the man in my dreams. His name was Mr. Coffee.

Okay, you could take that one. That was for you, Joe. That was for you, Joe. And don't worry, you're all gonna get an autographed to coffee with the picture of me. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm not kidding at all.

You're really getting that. So they start laughing, you know, and Melissa's like, oh, I'm so glad everybody came. This has been such a fun trip. And she's like, yeah, it's so nice Everyone can laugh. It's so easy. But Jackie ain't easy. She can't laugh at night. Oh God Jennifer's like just like Three things that Jackie Jackie just has to get over the room, but the irony here is that Teresa, the one who can't stop talking about a baby.

And, uh, just like, well, I missed her and Teresa says, I was angry, you know, what she said about Gia, that ain't right. And the Laura says, well, you know, if she didn't, you know, look, if she didn't say the Gia is saying like if that never happened, would you call her? She'll if she apologizes, okay? All right. I can treat it just can't get any sentence and into her head at all. More matter now than I ever was it is. So now we go back to New Jersey and Margaret goes to like the most Margaret place and orders the most Margaret thing. She goes to a place called bread boutique and goes, I have a Nutella boss, please.

Thank you very much. I'm gonna tell the boss. And then Jack and Cos, do you want anything to eat? I'm getting Nutella boss. Okay, Nutella boss. I have coffee with just a tiny little baby splash of skim milk. Nup-boss for you. So they meet outside. Margaret has the world's tallest straw. It was

either the world's tallest straw or it was like floating on top of the drink, but it was like a skyscraper. I'd have never seen a straw so tall. Had did you notice the straw? Please tell me I was not the only one who noticed. Well, actually now that you say it, I feel like straws are the second character today. They're like a whole other character. I feel like Jersey is just like fuck you. We're using straws like that was the episode. That was the underlying current of the theme because they go to the restaurant later and Melissa's like, yeah, I'm going to need a straw. And she's like, all right, here's the scientist. Most plastic did it is straw. I can find, you know, yeah, that before I think one thing, something a hypocrite. I still got the Starbucks straw that I got for three from three weeks ago

Okay, so I'm killing turtles still, but I'm killing them more slowly My straw is like a biodegradable or something like that something like that I don't know, but anyway, March has a huge straw. It looks like a camp from action park and so she sits down I thought it just comes up all bloody. Yeah, pretty much I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem.

I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem.

I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem.

I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would be a problem. I thought that would well you know, I decided that it was best for everyone if I didn't go. I mean, it's like nonsense. I mean, she felt it's so easy to say something that could potentially tear a family apart. It was ridiculous. My husband works in finance. You cannot disparate a man who works in finance. You know, I know it sounds crazy, but you know, I just, I think she was thinking that, you know, she would want to know if someone was spreading rumor about her I think that's what she was really saying. She's like oh my god Please give me a fucking break Margaret. All right, but she's not filtered. It's like I mean, I love you Margaret

But you really this gullible I'm not gullible. I just don't think it was premeditated You know Perry Mason was here would he be going for the death sense? I don't think so So yeah, she's, Margaret's like, I don't think that Teresa is a pre-calculating sort of person. And she's like, No, I'm sorry, I'm not having this conversation because you're smarter than this, okay?

And I'm surprised that you're so forgiving of someone who had you physically assaulted last year. And then we see like a flashback of like the revelation that it was Teresa who told Danielle to pull Margaret's ponytail Yeah, and she's like well, you know forgiveness is mostly for myself. Okay, just out did you forgive Danielle? No, you didn't march to not say that you forgave Danielle because I know you didn't choose I did I did you know but sometimes you just have to open the internet and see someone sadly sitting on their couch and

Misspelling the title of their own podcast to really understand what place that person is in. You know what, you have enough Nutella balls and everything seems okay in the world, okay? So, so she's like, Jack is like, well I'm not going to be over it until my husband feels better and you know, because Evan is still feeling really terrible. And so she just, she announces that she wants to do a redo of his birthday and she wants to feel like everyone there, like he knows everyone there and then he's supported by everyone and she just wants him to have a good time and get that smile back on his face

so we can go back into the world of finance and maintain that same thing. You know, okay, I've gotta say it. I'm really fucking sick of this. I'm sick of it. I've had enough of it enough. Okay. You're not the first person who's has been

has been accused of cheating on the show. I know it sucks. I still think Teresa is wrong in this whole thing. Yeah. Still team Jackie in this fight, but I've had about enough of it. Yeah. I need to fast forward.

This is episode four and it feels like episode 16. I've had it. I mean, I, I, I, yeah, I mean, she's definitely going to a raw end of the deal. This is going exactly how I knew it would go, which is that Teresa says this bullshit. Jackie is like, what the fuck? But then because you didn't go on the, on the trip, Teresa kind of gets a little bit more screen, she bit more screen time and sort of, I think she sort of wins people over in a certain way. And now Jackie's the one who looks like she's carrying this on way too long.

She kind of looks like the one on the wrong here, even though she's 100% not. She's 100% in the right. And I think this whole party thing is sort of a weird thing to do. But I sense that Jackie may be the sort of person who like she can only find resolution by doing something like she can't just like sit still with the situation and just like know that she's right. She has to do something like to be like look what like something demonstrable to be like I did this which shows this and well it's also it's also housewives that's how you

get in scenes right so she didn't go on the trip so she missed being in in episodes. I mean, she got to do her family scenes, but you know, don't want that when everyone else is on the trip, right? So she missed a chance to get, she missed the fights on the trip, which is really the housewives court of law. So if you skip court, you don't still get to keep your case. The case is thrown out. You know what I mean? You got to show up the court. You can't just say like, I'm not going to show up to court. You just write me something and say, you're sorry, that's not how it works. You got to court. So she missed that.

And what's the other thing about that? Oh, yeah. So she didn't miss it. And now to get into a scene, she's doing a party because to get a housewife scene revolving around you, you have to be the host of a party. And so she's got a host of party about her grievance. You know, it's like, I of party about her grievance. You know, it's like, I didn't get that ticket party.

Yes. I think what is going about it the wrong way. I think what this boils down to is that he was probably very upset at her, because he probably felt like she invited this into their lives. And she kind of felt like, okay, let me do something to, like, if I'm going to bring this terrible thing into our lives, let me show him that I've also brought in wonderful relationships with friends.

I kind of got that vibe from it. It was just a bizarre party, but we'll get to it. So anyway. So now we go over to Teresa's house, and we see Adriana, I think for the first time this season, and all of a sudden she's like a tween She's 10 years old, which is crazy because we literally saw her born on this show and now she's like turning into a lovely young woman I was like, oh my god, Adriana's growing up

And she has a tiny little voice like me And Teresa's like, the real estate lady is coming. You gotta wipe your feet down You can't come in here with dirty feet scissors. I'm hoping I'm in shoes and then went to a friend's house. You look cute, this little boy. She was. She did. So then, so Michelle comes over. She has about like, you know, she's just spackled on all the makeup. Oh my god. I don't know like what, I don't know what ice capades she just came from from But she's here and she's in her power suit and I I think it's really we're called the on ice capades And also she had like the poorest version of the Doreet hair clips in her hair

Yes, you know how to read at least on Bravo I know Doreet didn't start this in real life, but on Bravo Doreet started the hairpin craze where you wear 50,000 but Michelle is wearing like the dollar store, like regular bobby pins. I think her wig just fell off, and she hasn't realized yet. So, so she comes in in her power suit, she's like a young Carol Channing, and she's like, okay, we got rid of those pictures.

Okay, this needs to be bare, get rid of that. Okay, I see four ugly, ugly children here, get rid of that. Okay, the fruit can stay fruit can stay this table Can we get a can we get a table cloth come on you you stupid person over there. Okay, bring me about bring me about Come on, hurry up hurry up. Yeah, it's very absolutely fabulous I want only clean surfaces. All right clear everything. Oh look at this. This is the thing on a place get rid of it Clev your woman clear the old woman She goes up to the piano,

which is like flowers and then a picture of no no. She's like, you know what, see, this is memories. I don't want that. Cleared the old person. Get rid of the old person. I have to say, I am totally one over by her. Just the way she came walking into the scene and just was like bossing everyone around

and telling Theresa to get all her shit off the counters. I was like, I'm kind of on team Michelle already. Just the way, this is like, what, what 80s comedy did she come out of? Like she's like the Martin short character or something. Yeah. Crossing everyone around. And Teresa's just sitting there blanking. And she like removes all of her memories.

And then we see the memories flash over like, do you remember the first time? Melania slid down the Bannister. I'm like, she's not asking to remove the banister and you're being a little dramatic clip people. Yeah, they were really trying to make a sentimental but like we've had too many years of them pushing the sentimental shit we're over the sentimental shit and they're trying so hard and it's like here comes GL walking down a staircase can we get rid of that coat of arms? We don't need a coat of arms in here okay nothing religious

nothing personal okay no coat of arms get rid of the coat of arms in here, okay? Nothing religious, nothing personal, okay? No coat of arms, get rid of the coat of arms. Yeah, so Trees is like, can I steal you, baby? So she takes you out into the backyard and she's talking, wait, where am I? Yeah, can I steal you? Yeah, they go outside. Can I steal you?

I'll talk while you. I'll talk while you, while talk while you while you orient yourself So they go outside and she's like I kind of had a cold defeat it is She's probably should probably get out the pool. Oh, sorry. So listen Listen, I told you I went we call it the fountain. It's the fountain works again. So I Told you I went to lake Georgia's with the girls, huh? And so Jennifer she ended up talking to my sister-in-law's about like whatever it is that you told Jennifer at the parties, you know, remember the party for the guy who like

cheats the girls at the gym, you know? So like, how come you told Jennifer, like, but not my brother, who's there? Like, well, I don't know him, he's there about the money thing. Em Shal's like, you know what? She asked me straight up, you know, what I thought of them. And at the end of the day, that's been nothing but nothing. And that's know what I thought of them and at the end of the day that's been nothing but nothing and that's why you can take the life of the poor. It's a struggle that's of what at the end of the day I'm not trying to get in between you and your brother

but you know what the men need to iron it out all right you know what let's let the men do the ironing for once I'm just making your sexist joke because your husband isn't here to make him anymore I also like the way that Michelle quickly slid out of that one. And you know what? She also reminded us that, you know, for the past like week or two, it's been like, oh, Michelle just walked up to Jennifer and was like, oh, my husband, like, you know, Joe owes my husband money. But it's like, no, Jennifer was, she was like, oh yeah, I know Melissa and Joe. And Jennifer was like, what do you think about Melissa? Like Jennifer totally was, was being like, oh yeah, I know Melissa and Joe. And Jennifer was like, what do you think about Melissa? Like Jennifer totally was being the one who was actually

nosy there. And so Teresa though, tour credit is like, okay, well, I can't really list my house with you until your husband, my brother, fix this out, you know what I'm saying? And was like, yeah, you know what, he's got to bury it. Like everything in this show is just criminal, you know? Like everything. Can I steal you for a second? We got to bury it like everything in this show is just criminal, you know Like I steal you for a second. We got to bury this. I love it in the on iced campaigns, all right? Yeah

So Michelle's like no, I totally agree. I totally think that they should talk hold on one second You've been a fucking clear this up for your $10,000 on by the cell 10 million dollar house. You've been a fucking clear this up Okay, I think everything's set. So Jackie's kid is trying on her heels. Everyone's getting ready for the big. You all believe my husband didn't cheat party. Okay. So Jackie's kid is walking around and heels and then Marge is telling Joe, Joe, you know, but I need to pick out your outfit because you're a little bit of a simpleton, Joe. Yeah, you're good. Just get in a shower, Joe, okay?

So then Melissa's trying to... Get in the shower, hot coffee, Joe. Yeah. Melissa's like, I'm trying to figure out what to wear and Goraga's like, why don't you wear that little red bikini, yeah? And then like you'll look like a little red riding hood and then come home and I'm like the big bad wolf.

And then someone can come shoot me and then tear out my stomachs and it's you inside there. Yeah, I think I took this metaphor a little too far. Far. All right, Joe. You know what, David's not even gonna come here. You like being my partner, the Joe, don't you? Don't you like being my partner, Joe

Yeah, the Lord I like I'm like a gay husband. Yeah, I'm like a gay husband the Lord My gay husband who spits on me all the time you have to bring a pawn show Joe. I'm in Frank. Well whoever your name is You know what I meant to dance Look you even have me saying it now. So then we go to, um, oh, baby, right, baby, because Jennifer probably sat it at that point in her life just sitting on her chair. She's reading it, she's reading a magazine. She looks at what's it with? Gabby comes into Babysroom and she's like, Mom, I need to write a chair practice. And she's like, all right, I'll text you about it, baby. So then Bill calls.

And he's like, bad news. Emergency Botox surgery. Can I make it to my girl? Mmm, no, they'll have to see me at the hospital. I'm gonna scrub up if you know what I'm saying. Mmm, say hi to the fox. Oh God, obviously, Tugris wasn't invited. Had a my friend Chucky's gonna be a rich and bull right out of a taco about the nearer better. Gabby's just like trying to back out of that room.

Like mom, really have to calm down. So, um, so then Evan and Jackie, I guess there, I don't know if they're at home or at the restaurant yet, but no, Evan's, they're at home and Evan's just, they're talking about the rumors and he's like, I mean, it's just, it's so ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. It's just like, I know, I mean, you give everything

and your life to your family. And I tried to explain this to Margaret, and you're born with one name, one name in life, and to have someone smear it is really wrong, which is why it was really important for us to come on to reality television where that never happens. Yeah.

So then everybody's basically talking in their own house. We're cutting back really fast. And Mark's like, yeah, but if anyone says something to Jackie through the least bit defending Teresa, she's gonna freak out Joe. I'm gonna tell you that right now. And then Joe Gorgas, like, I'm not gonna let anyone talk shit about my sister at the end of the day. You know what I'm saying? Huh? Huh? Little red riding hood over there. I'll tell you this baby, I'm gonna defend my friend, but they're not.

You know what, if you're gonna be a group of friends, you have to know that some of them have to value having your back, okay, when things go wrong, right Evan? And he's like, yeah, I mean, that's the basis of friendship and tough times they have your back. And then when things are really bad, you gotta work out that stress by just going to the gym twice a day sometimes. Um, so then we go to priority of 10 and we're, is this the same place even?

No, this is it. I don't know if it's the same. It may be the same. I don't know. It's something, but it's, it's a restaurant and they have a big outdoor place back, back area and they have a hostess who wears her mask under her nose, which is my big pet peeve. And I talked about this extensively on our marriage medicine recap that never, never made it to air. But my pet peeve is I cannot stand the mask that does not go over the nose.

Because like you're almost there. Like why not? Like why is your mask falling down? Like that doesn't happen. Yeah. Like it's not hard. So Evan's like, whoa, is that corn hole nice? And so tacky, it can't be like, you know what, I'm so sorry about all of this.

And he's like, I know how these shit happens, all right? You know what, she's out of my life now. And that's all that matters. She goes, I don't even want to say her fucking name. That's why I'm having a party based on something she did and I'm going to mention it every five seconds of this party. Okay Evan. So, so then Melissa and Joe show up and Jack, he's like, okay, as long as it's just the four of us in this entire restaurant, I just want to say this, okay. The Gia thing was such an analogy. Okay, Joe, I see your eyes are glazing over.

An analogy is when you compare something to something else, but you don't really mean it. It's just sort of illustrating a central concept. Okay, all right, you're lost. Just like when you say 10s of thousands, because what the fuck is that, am I right? Like, is that even a number? No, Joe, that's not an analogy.

And those actual numbers. It was my fault. I shouldn't have said such a big word. Okay, the point is this. Okay, the fact is this. Okay. The fact is that the fact that she thought that I was saying anything about Gia was that was not my intention. Like, and I'm just like, sorry if, and she starts saying, like, I'm just sorry if I'm

Melissa. Well, obviously, I thought, you know, that if, obviously, if I thought that, we wouldn't be here right now. Of course, it wasn't your intention. And I'm sort of like laughing because it's not really molested, like she's sort of addressing this to Joe. You know what, I'm about to make a point that's like actually like not very interesting or I'm just gonna stop it.

I just realized like this is not an interesting point. I'm not backing out of it. I just some like there's no, it's like a really deeply uninteresting point that I'm, I can hear my voice. My voice is going into this place as if I'm making an important point and it's like not just like, I was like mad that Melissa said that no. It's too loud. Gorgas like yeah, but you know what you said G at the Zeno. No, Joe, it's an analogy.

Okay. So it's a separate thing. Well, you know what you know, unfortunately, we don't got a pasta restaurant anymore. So I appreciate the pitch, but I don't know. I've never heard of an analogy pasta before. I'm sure it's a cool shape, but it's not really something I'm doing anymore. So you guys are right and what? You and three are right? Are you guys are right and what? And she's like, um, you know, I think this week

was probably the worst week of my life. I really haven't ever felt this slow in my entire life. So that's how my week has gone, Joe. And he's like, good, good. That's great. You know, my husband has a very big career in finance. And he's like, yeah, you know, I'm a pissed. I'm young, all right. There's still stuff that I might want to do. You know, and even a rumor, a rumor in New Jersey that a guy could possibly be lying to his wife or possibly having a fan.

No one would think that a Jersey guys. Don't ever want anything that takes place in Jersey. All right. No, in Evan's world, his name is reputation are really important. You know, because in finance, finance is one of the cleanest industries in all of New Jersey. Okay. And that's a lot. That means a lot to him.

Okay. Fine. cleanest industries in all of New Jersey, okay? And that's a lot. That means a lot to him, okay? Yeah, fine. Where are the honest people go? Fine, man. So Joe goes, you know what? I think that like she came out, I think she was like trying to look out for you, you know, like women stick together, something like that, whatever, I was like, I was tap at Joe,

because yeah, I don't know, I'm just trying it. Yeah, it's like that's one of the dumbest things I've heard in my life, possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Oh, really? Ever, ever, ever, ever hear somebody say 10 to 1000s? What the fuck is that? Am I right?

It's dumb, then the, you know, it's dumb, then the time the gym said they reduced the hours for COVID. You know what I'm saying? Like, what happened to staying open till midnight? I'm just saying. Uh, so Joe's like, I write that with dumb. And he goes, what happened to staying open till midnight? I'm just saying. So Joe's like, I write that with Tom. And he goes, what do you want me to do? You know, my dad said, always stick up for your sister.

And you know what? What am I supposed to do? It's a dumb thing, but I gotta stick up for my sister. And Joe, whenever Joe does, he does this every season. But whenever his Joe's turned for the testimonial diary room so. It's always my job. It's like, hey, hey, get this real close on me, huh?

Yeah, it's right in the camera space. So Margaret and Joe showed me, oh my god, this is so pretty back here. I got it. This is wonderful. And Jack is like, thank you guys. You know, I just need, I need tonight, you know, he's so upset. Look at Evan. Look at, look at poor sweet Evan over there.

Like, she's kind of talking about him. He's like a little kid in the corner. He needs his juice box. You know? Yeah, let's get some more awkward with every person that comes in. She's like, thank you so much. Just to spend the hardest year of my life. Evan really is just so upset.

Look at him up there. Look at him. He can't even look at the Wall Street Journal right now. It's like finance doesn't even matter to him anymore. You know, he told me he's not going to be able to come to this party because he's going to the gym and it's funny because he's playing cornhole He ended up making it Well, and Melissa's like well no one in the world believes you believes what that rumor said no one does and Evan's like well Even even if it is basis you can't fully erase it which is true

Which is why we're sitting here making jokes about it on our podcast, because once the room is out there, people like us perpetuated pizza bagel. So then speaking of which, Jen shows up and she hugs Jackie and the guys start playing Cornhole. And everyone starts talking about the trip and everything and Jennifer sort of tries to defend Teresa to Jackie she's like well you know a wise fox on my black one's telling me that certain things you can't tell Teresa okay you can't say things about Gia you know what I'm saying and clearly she can hurt

my family look at Evan over there he He's destroyed. Clearly she could destroy Evan Who's destroyed over there, but I can't say anything back and then Dolores and Frank come in and There you go You know what? Thanks so much for coming Dolores. This has been the most devastating week of my life, Dolores Okay, so devastating and then of course Melissa puts her wrist out. She's like, look what my husband got me from my anniversary. I'm like, oh, just put that away. Yeah, how about you put away the expense of jewelry

while you're being accused of stealing money from people? Okay, Teresa. How about, yeah, and also how about a let's prove that Evan didn't cheat party. You don't do something that's like, you know, about like, look at my marriage. So, um, uh, that's also something that cheating husbands do too, which was cracking me up. You know, it's like, look, my husband bought me an expensive gift to wear to your husband.

It's cheating party. Are all the men just cheating. I think all the men are just cheating on this. I don't think, I don't think Joe, but he knows cheating. I think, I think Joe, butino's probably got an ankle monitor on, you know, just a marginal, not because she doesn't trust him, but just so she knows he's working on the kitchen, you know, I'm hitting just on the ankle, Joe.

And if the kitchen doesn't start today, it's gonna, it's gonna shock you. All right. Well, he probably, if you ever tried to cheat, he probably do something like, hey, Margie, I think, you might, I'm gonna go out and go cheat on you. You might, oh, shoot, shoot, sorry, Margie. You know what, like, how about this? You just come over here. Let's bang upstairs. Let's fix that for you. Okay. All right.

Thanks, Jen. So where am I? Okay. Brace it. So the guys are talking. And, um, oh, Jackie's, no, all the, I think Jackie stands up. Well, you know what? I don't need to give a speech. OK, I, you know, we, I've already done the speech at the last party. So, you know what, Frank, just please tell Evan that you know that it's nonsense that he never cheated. Like you know that you're talking to Frank who cheated like a million times on the war. Right.

Exactly. Exactly. So, um, so Jennifer's, so again, um, they're, they're just talking about all this stuff. And Joe is a- Can I take it a word or would anybody like a drink? Yes, I'd like a tall pint of, please tell my husband that you don't believe that he was cheating on. That would be great.

OK. So basically Joe's like, Hey Melissa, okay, if someone came home and said this sort of rumor about me, about what about one of us, and Dolores goes, sleep with one eye open. It's like, I don't know what that's about. So, and Jim's like,

but you had to know it's not malicious. You know, I mean, she heard something and she's got a little slip, right? She's like, but all I ask for is my friends to support me for one night and Jen can't stop licking Teresa's asshole for one second. And and Joe is like, you know, you're a good person. And you know, someone, you know, someone says something about you, do get offended. You know, that's what happens. And Frank goes, yeah, well, that, you know, that's part of being a man. You're going good person and you know someone you know someone says something about you do get offended You know that's what happens and Frank goes yeah, well that you know that's part of being a man You're gonna get accused. I mean well, especially if you do it like I did you know I did you know

I'm the worst okay, so I forgot a story You know what's really in the way that when people accuse who is shit and then come out with pictures from the ring cam All right, you know part of being a man is being accused of cheating and then it turns out you actually cheated so that's part of being a man So then so then Joe was like listen Evan. We're your boys for life. Okay, even if I say you You know where your boys for life, right? I mean, we know you wouldn't be like To Jim right I mean never saw an about it, right? But if we did we'd be like We wouldn't do that. We wouldn't say anything, huh? Yeah, you know the only thing I'm a fan of that is that you

then come to boys night, right? Cause we were expecting you to bring the girls. God. Evan's like, I'm not ready to laugh about this yet. So, so they're asking if Jackie and Teresa can coexist and Jack is like, no, I don't want to cause any problems. You know, listen, like I can be in the same room. I just want to acknowledge her, except to maybe mention how her third daughter sometimes does rails at rails.

That's it. That's it. Every party from now on is going to be a G of those rails. Yeah. You know, now we know why we go to rails so much. So, um, and she goes, but you know what, it's long as the rumors said, you know, that's all I needed to know. And before I get drunk, can I say a few words?

I'm like, oh, God, now you are going to give a speech. So she's like, I just wanted to say I wanted to do this again, because my first attempt at making my husband happy was destroyed by a horrible human being. So can we all say cheers? I believe that Evan didn't cheat. Everybody, because that's too long, so I shorten that. Everyone here at this restaurant, all your strangers over there who try and enjoy this, just say, Evan didn't cheat.

Evan didn't cheat. We do a slow clap. I've got a table ready for Evan didn't cheat. Thank you, hostess. Some of us have put that in. I don't know who that okay I'm gonna I see this I see them do this in the movies so let's try this okay you just see Eric fly overhead in like a little plane with a long ribbon. I've been didn't cheat.

So Jen is like, you know, we're all sick of here about this room. If Jackie wants to bring it up in a toast, I'd rather be toasting than crying about it. Like the fuck was on my back. Jack, he's like to all the girls he fucked when he studies going to the gym and you just hear three girls in the back up. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Good to see you again, Evan.

Cheers. Cheers. Oh, yeah. Jersey, Jersey, Jersey. Okay, let's not turn this into a Lucy Lupy Lucy Lucy Lucy Apple juice now. Okay. Add it. I don't think there's a cheating Eric didn't cheat. Go fight with Teresa. If you want, I would love it, but I don't need to hear anymore. Solo Teresa or Jackie complaining about each other again.

Either fight, get off the mat. I'm fine. I'm, oh yeah, I see we're saying solo, yeah. Yeah, I like, I like a face to face fight. I'm down with it. I'm not sick of it at all. I just thought this was a strange, it was a very strange party for me,

but I felt like it was like something that she needed to do for her own psyche. So, you know what? Here's the F and not cheating on me. What? But you know what though? You know what though? They are the victims here.

They actually truly are the victims here. They actually truly are the victims here. So I'm going to give them, I'm going to give them some leeway. They can have a weird party where they have to do what they need to do to sort of feel. Hey, as long as they picked up the check, you know? That's right. I mean, look, get that check. You guys, thank you so much for listening and watching.

This was so fun. It's been such a fun week. I've been having so much fun with our,s this week, Ronnie. We are welcome. No, but this week in particular has just been really fun. I don't know why. But tomorrow, let's see if we can keep the streak alive. We got some of house. Should be fun. So until then, have a great one. And we'll talk to you in the next episode. Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors.

Ain't no thing like Alice and King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-als. Dana-C. Dana-Doo. Let's rent some errands with Emily Eryans. Aaron McNicolus, she don't miss no trickle-us!

Hava Nagilo Weber! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! Jess saying, okay! She's a little bit loony! Juni! She's always sublion, it's Kelly Ryan! Kristen the Piston Anderson!

Higher than Hi-Rez, she's Lauren Perez! Patricia Murdoch, she wrote. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger! You don't touch the Nicki Morgan lettuce! There ain't no problem that Sarah Solvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Beaches, Beaches. And our super premium sponsors. Nancy's Season Desisto.

Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie. Let's give them a kiss on it's Austin and Marissa Somebody get us ten C. C. C.s of Betsy MD always the wiser is Allison Weasler We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She's cheese on a bagel. It's Megan Ragle Erica 500 days of summers We will we will Joanna Rockland you. The incredible edible Matthewsisters. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. No one makes us feel well like Megan Capsiwell. Mina Kutikutikouji.

Give him hell, Miss Noel. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. And have a meal without the Emily sides. Shannon, out of account an Anthony. Let's get Racy with Miss Daisy. Let's take off with Tamla Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar. We love you guys.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens' ad free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen ad free with Wondery Plus in in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.