Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Nashvillains

Episode Date: April 28, 2022

This week on the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Marge and Tre talk try to clear the air, but it goes as well as Luis trying to eat a piece of Nashville Hot Chicken... which i...s to say, not well.This recap is a Crappens on Demand recap; so be sure to watch it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/65694736See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the one, the only, the hilarious and wonderful superstar, Mr. Ronny Karam.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Hey Ronny, how are you doing? Hi, hi Ben. Hi, Rani. Hi, hi everybody. Hi, we are here today doing crapens on demand, which means that we go to patreon.com slash watch or crapens and you support us on the crapens on demand level, you don't just get to hear the podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:33 You actually get to watch the podcasts, which is exciting because there's almost always a cameo by Ronnie's dog, Bueller, I don't see him yet, but I'm sure he's, is he hiding behind your chair or just, he hasn't made his late entrance yet He's not in here today. He's annoyed with me. So whatever he's gonna fight it out by himself in another room Okay, I'm sorry, I can't eat them and ambs. Just can't eat them It's not a rule that I made it's rule the god made okay when he decided you would die if you ate them
Starting point is 00:01:59 So I'm really sorry you couldn't have any today for breakfast, but that's just the rules of life So it's tough, it's very tough. It's tough, it's very tough. So anyway, today we're talking real housewives of New Jersey. It's so weird not having anything to chill at the top of the show. Of course though, we do have our merch, which is really excellent. And even though our tour is over,
Starting point is 00:02:20 the merch still lives on. So go to crappensmerch.com and get some. We saw a bunch of you guys wearing it on the road. You all look great, Paul, but you did. It actually looks really great and awesome. So thanks for buying it. And I guess, I don't know, it's crappin' on demand. It's merch.
Starting point is 00:02:35 So I think that's basically the only important stuff to mention at the top of the show that I can think of off the top of my head unless I'm missing something, Ronnie, right? No, I mean, I don't think we need to come up with things to show. I think it's, you know, it's like a bonus if we don't have things to show. You know, it's like a good thing. So, hey, I'm looking at your things. I'm looking at your set, you've got some new curtains.
Starting point is 00:02:55 I do, well, it's not that they're new, it's just that they're just in frame, but yeah. I mean, I've rearranged where I'm sitting because, you know, I was trying to make the Bullets and Boardwork, it didn't quite pop, and I never put anything on it so now I'm like amy towards the window so there are there are some curtains you know Ben has some running oh I don't think those fit your window though well no I'm sorry not such a straight guy there's supposed to go down to the floor right I know I
Starting point is 00:03:24 know I guess not on a window like that because There's supposed to go down to the floor, right? I know. I know. I like that. Well, I guess not on a window like that, because the window doesn't go down to the window. What am I judging your windows? I'm so sorry. I just happen to notice it when you lift it in them. No, no, they don't go down to the floor,
Starting point is 00:03:33 and it's something that my mom has casually pointed out a few times. Yeah. Team Parallel. Yeah. Sorry, yeah, that was a very mom thing to say. Well, see your curtains don't match your floor. Well, I'm happy. This is because of my divorce with David and I ruined my children's lives.
Starting point is 00:03:49 I just want everyone to doubt. Well, they are tall windows and they're actually pretty tall curtains, but it actually doesn't look too bad. The fact that they don't go all the way down to the floor. No, it doesn't look bad. I didn't even notice until you moved him over. That was shameful of me to say, we're going to edit the salt later. No, I'm not going to see the real Ronnie who shames me for my curtains. So sorry, they do look pretty though. You know,
Starting point is 00:04:14 well, they're all short curtains. They're like men, they can't help it. They're more than they are. They were just, you know, I just got them off of Amazon like a year ago. And you know, they're getting the job done. I'm happy with them. Yeah, welcome to my whole house. I'm designed by Amazon. Yeah. So now that we started awkwardly with Curtin shaving.
Starting point is 00:04:36 It's okay. Sorry, sorry again. Let's go to Real Housewives of New Jersey season finale. Now it's a shame that this show is ending after episode 13. to Real Housewives of New Jersey season finale. Now, it's a shame that this show is ending after episode 13 and Real Housewives of Orange County got 16 regular episodes. The fuck was going on on that show that was better than what's going on on this show
Starting point is 00:04:57 who makes those decisions and what is their number for human resources because I would like to report harassment, okay? It's harassment. My eyes were harassed by Real Housewives of Orange County for at least three episodes when Jersey is brilliant and it should have been the president of the company by now.
Starting point is 00:05:14 I feel pretty good about the episode counts for both of them. Actually, I feel like Orange County had a lot of stuff going on. I don't feel like there were too many episodes. There was maybe like one episode that was like a filler episode, but Jersey's kind of had a few dull ones. I didn't think that this trip started off
Starting point is 00:05:32 with a bang and a kind of like, oh really? Yeah, I think Jersey has been like your curtains. I think Jersey's been great, but you know, it's, I think it's, this is the perfect time to end it. I think it's run great, but you know, it's, I think it's, this is the perfect time to end it. I think it's, it's, it's run its course for the season, like end it.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Yeah. Rather than I don't need like another episode of nothing going on of Dolores walking around and, you know, Frank feeding the Chinchilla and Joe Gorga and Melissa going to football practice and, you know, who knows what else is going on. This is, end it right here. It's good for me. Well, you know, I, I else is going on. This is end it right here. It's good for me. Well, you know, I, I'm not saying Jersey should have been longer. I'm saying, oh, she should have been shorter because I believe I'm a staunch believer in the
Starting point is 00:06:12 13 episode housewife season. I believe it's the perfect amount of episode for every housewives ever. There are no exceptions. I've not found one exception to this rule yet in all these years of doing this. 13 episodes ended and add more cities there. We're done. This meeting is over. I'm going to go not feed my dogs some more M&Ms. Thank you. Well, we can agree to disagree. So the point is is I think Salt Lake City and some of the seasons of New York City were fully worth the
Starting point is 00:06:41 20 episodes that we got from them. But others, not. Oh, I'm sorry. Sir, this meeting was called to an end already and Ronnie has left the room. So I have an argument with the camera. Okay. I will do just that. I will argue with my improperly sized blinds behind me. Oh, geez, okay, I'm sorry again.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Oh my God, and you're not open. I can see your face. Nope, this is gonna be, this is sorry again. Oh my God, and you're not over it. I can see your face. No, this is gonna be, this is a turning point in the podcast, the blind shaming. This is what ended it all with the curtain shaming. I'm sorry, I did not shame your blinds. And actually, you know my track record with window coverings,
Starting point is 00:07:18 because I've got window coverings that are too short currently over my window. So maybe I'm just projecting, I'm very short. Very short. Oh yes, I had to order an inch longer and then I had to wait three weeks because apparently 24 inches is just unheard of in the lows window covering soccer.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Yeah, that's a whole bonus episode to be had about about like window coverings because it's actually really hard to find the proper sized draperies for a lot of windows. I discovered during that whole process. So at a certain point, it's just the exhaustion of trying to like,
Starting point is 00:07:54 fake find the right thing and then you find the right one but it's sold out. Sometimes you just get something, you just put it up there, you know? Yes, I sure do. It's my whole place. And guess what? We'll probably be talking about that on this week's bonus. There's another shell. Okay. So right now we're going into Jersey.
Starting point is 00:08:09 And it's just everything that's happened from the beginning. We don't need to go over it. We've got four four weeks of reunion rehash coming up. So you're welcome. I didn't even write notes on that part. Yeah, I watched this episode right after having dinner and I had a late dinner and I got very, very sleepy from I got food coma. And so I really, like, there will chances are as we go through this episode, I will be like, wait, what happened? When did that happen?
Starting point is 00:08:42 Because I may have dosed off, not because of the show, just because, you know, food coma. Right. So just like bear with me here a little bit. But one thing I do know is that the episode opens up with a chef, you know, sort of the typical morning things on New Jersey, a chef shows up to make them breakfast. Frank wakes up going, DOR!
Starting point is 00:09:01 DOR! What happened? How'd you sleep, DOR? I didn't sleep, DOR! Yeah. Yeah. And, um, she'sla, D'la what happened? How'd you sleep D'la? D'la, I didn't sleep D'la. Yeah. And she's like, I got a chef, so I figured while we're here, we'd better do it right.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Am I right? And then later we're gonna do a bike ride, but it's all on one bike. I don't know if you've ever seen the Sunhousewives before. We're gonna break some walls now. We're gonna be revolutionary today. Everyone's on the same bike. We ride downtown, we have drinks while we ride it.
Starting point is 00:09:27 It's going to change the landscape of housewives forever. You might as well call me Travis Kalani, because I'm basically changing transportation as we know it with this 13 person bicycle with a bar in the middle, okay? So then over in show in Melissa's room, Melissa's like, well, I mean, look, obviously Teresa didn't apologize to Marge. Or can we agree on that much? And he's like, she apologized to everybody. Come on, what are you talking about? She says, sorry, you know, to everybody. And then it wasn't her fault.
Starting point is 00:09:58 That's an apology. She's like, no, like she even said that Marge provoked her. And that's why she got violent. And He's like, hey, you know what? Coming from Theresa. That means something. All right. It's like, oh, okay. You know what? Congratulations on not serial murdering for one day, sir. You're totally out of prison for life now. You guys that guy went one day without the serial killer went one day without killing somebody. You know what? Statue in a park. Statue in a park for you, sir.
Starting point is 00:10:27 I don't remember Melissa and Joe being this relaxed about, you know, or not a relaxed, but being this cool with a non-apology apology last season when Melissa threw bowl of cheese cubes across the Jersey Shore because Teresa would not apologize about like a million things. so it's just kind of funny how they're like so like blase when they're not the ones that need the apology. Yes, but then Joe is put in between a male and a tree place again because she's like I mean she was even coming from me Joe, which is all Joe wants to avoid, because this family loves that. It is family after your family. With family, how could you?
Starting point is 00:11:10 But with family more than you family, I married to him. I'm pretend married and first, all right? It's like that's, so when you're not sticking up for your sister, that's one thing. But when you're not sticking up for your wife, and you're not sticking up for your sister, that's one thing. But when you're not sticking up for your wife and you're not sticking up for your sister, it's rough. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:28 It's rough, job. Yeah. I hope you're not eating too much chili in every episode of the show because your butt's going to be reigned. Yeah. Either way, don't hurt your butt any more than it needs to be. Yeah. And speaking of eating over in Jack's room, she's talking about because everything was
Starting point is 00:11:43 like so stressful at the dinner last night She didn't eat a lot and her therapist has given her strategies so like start pushing herself out of our comfort zone But she's not quite there yet. So say she's gonna really try her best to eat more There's nothing more Yeah, that's a story line Yeah, I mean it's an important story line. Yeah, it's an important story line. Yeah, it's an important story line. I'm glad it's on the show.
Starting point is 00:12:08 It's not really fun to make fun of. And it's also really, I have eating issues myself. So watching it, I'm like, yeah, but okay, Teresa's drama is causing issues in your eating disorder. Your eating disorder issues are causing issues in my eating disorder. It's just like a whole circle of blame and eating disorders going around right now. And I needed to subside. Okay. Like I need a break and thinking about my own issues, which is what this is leading to, which is what Teresa's issues are leading into. It's
Starting point is 00:12:40 just too much for me. Yeah. And then of course, speaking of food, now everyone gathers in the kitchen around that enormous kitchen island, which has been what about 95% of this vacation has been, is just like gathering down there, being like, what's going on? You guys sleep well, you sleep well, you just say, I want coffee, you want coffee,
Starting point is 00:12:57 I don't have a coffee, do they have pretzels here? I think there's pretzels in that drawer. Okay, I'm gonna look for pretzels. They have spoons here, I don't know, I didn't find any spoons, I saw a fork. Like that's like this whole vacation so far, is, I'm gonna look for pretzels. They have spoons here. I don't know. I didn't find any spoons. I saw a fork. Like, that's like, that's like, this whole vacation so far is them gathering in there.
Starting point is 00:13:10 So Melissa and Joe were still talking to tree in their room and, cause tree calls and saying, Oh my, oh my God, oh my God. And Joe's like, hey, listen, you know what? You did great last night. You did a great apology. That was great, three. I don't know where this came from.
Starting point is 00:13:29 It was a terrible apology. It was like not even an apology. It was horrific and an included fat shaming. And she's like, well, you know me, because when I apologize, it come from a heart. It came from a heart. And then a custom hardwhip being like, okay, everyone just gets to the participation trophy.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Okay, like congratulations. You get a gold stuff being the biggest jerk that was for you, Joe and a gold stock you met. Okay. So back to Teresa. She's like, you know, and then for Margaret to say it was insincere. My, uh, why would she say that? Why would she say that?
Starting point is 00:14:03 And this is like, well, I mean, obviously, it wasn't a one-on-one apology to her. And she's like, yeah, because I don't can't, can I ain't apologize, huh? Because she should start talking shit about my boyfriend, my boyfriend. Because it's a love bubble, all right? And I thought my mother was my friend, all right?
Starting point is 00:14:22 So that's your friend, now Melissa, so you should straighten that shit out all right Yeah, and Melissa's like well, you know what you and Margaret are both growing adults You can figure it out and treat this like I'm for you now. Yes Oh, if I don't want to do something I don't want to do it So most of like okay, we'll just like try not to come in hot tonight She's like I'm fine. I'm totally fine. I'm not coming in hot right now She's the one who comes in hot when she stuffs all that hot hot food in her mouth all the time, you know, I'm saying you
Starting point is 00:14:54 Good morning, my little Passy. Good morning. Good morning, Passy and Jo Bonino is making coffee for the Laura. So she's like yeah, husband made me coffee It's like of course he did his other wife. Like, what are you gonna do? Oh, my bag. Yeah, I'm Tracy's like, other wife, but you're not blonde. It's like, I think Tracy's last line for the season. And Dolores is like, well, you know what? He wanted variety. Dolore, I tried to get variety. And you could get the house. Oh, really? So I wasn't supposed to talk about the massage parlors you opened overnight, huh?
Starting point is 00:15:28 I'm not supposed to talk, I'm supposed to let your massage parlors go, huh? I love that layer added to all of this Frank lore from Jersey. I know. One of their problems is that Frank opened a whorehouse massage parlors. I mean, I mean, just like casually just dropped in.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Like this is the story of Frank Catania who fell down the stairs later in life. Ha ha ha ha. Fell, yeah he fell. That sounds like one of the masseuses didn't get paid for their happy ending. But the very least, sir. So Jennifer's like, massage parlors,
Starting point is 00:16:04 what kind of massage palace were they mister? He's like, uh, they're a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then, um, I'm everybody laughs, you know, and so then gem comes in, uh, or Jackie, I guess, must be Jackie. I was get them confused on my list. She's like, loining campus, whoever, whoever it was. And Jackie's like, oh my god, I can't believe it's the last day of our trip. And Frank says, I'm flying from the oven, flying my back! And we're just like, but obviously it's been less than stellar for me.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Okay, Teresa came in with the bad attitude that I say. And then to compliment her, Joe Korka, that was the beautiful apology. Really Joe, Joe, did she really just say that? Like, I mean. And he goes, hey, it's just start. But when we see him, he has like a mouthful of yogurt. He has like a little yogurt mustache. I'm like, well, does he know how to eat yogurt? Why is he so messy with yogurt?
Starting point is 00:16:55 Why does he have a ring around his mouth? What was he doing to that Danon? I know. The joke, or guy giving blood jobs to even the food items in the house. Yeah. And Jim's like, that was a start. I mean, whether you jobs to even the food items in the house. Yeah. And Jen's like, Yeah, it was a start. I heard what he wanted to do to start during the apology.
Starting point is 00:17:09 They think it's coming chapter's baby. And Jen's, Jackie's like, Well, you know, I didn't think it was a good apology either. And Jen's like, it was nice. Jackie, you didn't like her apology last year, but you still took it. Yeah, and Jackie's like, well, you know, I took it because I was scared
Starting point is 00:17:29 what she was gonna do to my family next. And the Melissa's like, well, if there's nothing going on with your family, there's nothing that she can't do anything to your family, you know, I'm like, well, Oh, really? Strypergate? Oh, so you were a stripper on the Jersey shore?
Starting point is 00:17:45 Oh, okay. Why are you mad? Why are you mad, Melissa? I'd like to say, this is rich coming from two people who are really hung up on the word crook right now. Yes, even better. I love a current one. I have to like dig back five years,
Starting point is 00:18:00 but you're like, oh no, this hypocrisy happened three weeks ago. Yeah, no, there's current, but you know what? I love the oldies too. It's still worse. It's a vintage. It's a vintage flavor. So then, Jack, he's like, yeah, but I did realize that. And now I realize that I'm just done with this bullshit about Teresa.
Starting point is 00:18:17 And so Melissa's like, oh, so now you're not good with Teresa because I will be bringing that up as soon as possible with Teresa so that she forgets that she's mad at me for staying friends with Marge when she really realizes she's been mad at you for faking being friends with her. Right. As soon as Jackie said that because Jackie's like, I haven't been good with her at all. I haven't been at all. As soon as she said that, I was like, Oh, Jennifer, I thought Jennifer was going to be the first one to run and bring that to Teresa.
Starting point is 00:18:41 I thought that was going to be a whole rest of the episode. You know, it's like, Hey, Jackie said she's not going with the animal. What do you think about that, Teresa? But, um, it actually did not go in that direction. I was pretty surprised. Yeah. So, um, Jackie says she's not interested in fake friendships, and frankly, I think she's dangerous. That's what I think. And Margie's like, well, number one, she never apologized. Number two, which changes my hand motion, so I'm gonna say I'm going on number one. I'm gonna say number two, but not really do with my fingers. You know what, she fat-shamed me at the table.
Starting point is 00:19:12 And number three, still keeping one finger up. None of you said anything to her about that. And then we see the clip of Teresa being like, She never messes gamma. And Delores goes, well, I don't like that. And most goes, I, I don't like that. And most of us, I'll never condone it. Arate then why didn't she say it ahead?
Starting point is 00:19:28 Don't treat Margaret this way. I mean, if we all just keep allowing her to do this behavior, it's never going to stop, okay? So Delores goes, Margaret, we're not her parents, okay? Sure, I'm out, may tell everyone else how they should be living their life. And I'm a yell at other people, but with Teresa, we're not a parents. So that's where I draw the line, because I'm not physically her parents.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Yes. And Jen's like, yeah, what she said, what a nice baby, but it's not just her, you know, you got to acknowledge your part. I don't wish. I think that's like, yeah Margaret asked questions and it was clearly annoying Teresa. So like maybe Margaret should have like noticed that, well I wouldn't, you know, I'm not even gonna say that because when Margaret first brought it up to Teresa, Teresa acts like everything was cool. So of course Margaret would keep asking the questions because she didn't think there was anything wrong with it because Teresa madeet minute seemed like everything is fine. So I don't even blame Margaret for like not not picking
Starting point is 00:20:28 up on the signals of her friend. I mean, I think I think it was bullshit. I think to bring it up in the beginning was fine, but Marge does continue to like gossip and how to impound it into the ground. And I get that, but it's because Teresa has to answer with all these lies and then she sends Louis over and then Louis comes acting like a freaking, you know, a strangler basically. He's terrifying, you know, like you don't wanna leave puppies around him because you know they'll just go missing, you know.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Yeah, but like he's terrifying, I mean, it just leads to more and more questions and you're on a reality show. And Teresa not wanting to talk shit on a reality show about her own life is Teresa in every season. It's nothing new. I mean remember all the stuff that was coming about her has been possibly getting in trouble with the law. I was like It's always been like how dare you while she protects these prints These princes. Yeah, I've been well, you know, the thing is also like let's not forget that the reason why Teresa threw all those drinks on Margaret how dare you while she protects these princes of men.
Starting point is 00:21:25 Well, you know, the thing is also like, let's not forget that the reason why Teresa threw all those drinks on Margaret was not because Margaret was asking questions, it's because Teresa hatched a conspiracy theory that Margaret was the one who started all these rumors and she was the one who went to Tete fly and told everyone.
Starting point is 00:21:41 And so like Teresa is furious because of some cock-a-mimmy story. She's telling herself. And there's no excuse for that. I mean, it's end of training as hell, but no excuse. No, yeah. She's a Teresa just goes so off the rails. Yeah, the fight is really about Teresa making shit up and trying to pin something on Mars.
Starting point is 00:21:59 When Mars didn't make anything up, all the stuff Mars said is in, it is publicized. And they keep saying, oh, you know, it's just on Instagram. Oh, it's just on whatever. You didn't have to bring it up. All the stuff March said is in it is publicized. It was and they keep saying, oh, you know, it's just on Instagram. Oh, it's just on whatever. You didn't have to bring it up. It was in people fucking magazine, okay? And the woman who was accusing Louis of being the narcissistic abuser or whatever the hell is called. It's like a new term. It's like, narcissistic strangler. I'm just going to call it that. That's my term for it. Narcissistic strangler that she did a people magazine thing running across the country in a wedding
Starting point is 00:22:29 dress. So it's not like this stuff. It wasn't already out there. Let me come on to reset. Come on, commercials. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.
Starting point is 00:23:01 What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's no involved into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. I'm Argros like, you know, I didn't
Starting point is 00:23:43 say I needed anything, but I didn't deserve to do anything like, I didn't deserve to get that happen to me. And then Jennifer, of course, now tries to turn this into like her own thing. She goes, well, I think we can all agree, babies, that no one in this group likes it when a room it gets like, based on, like, shit on it. Is that right? Jackie.
Starting point is 00:24:02 So she's like trying to turn it into being like, remember when Margaret exposed Bill's thing, like remember how I was a victim for a part of the season. Can we go back to that for a second? Yeah, so of course it's typical housewives, right? It's like, this is Filly Pat, me, me, me. So everyone's saying they don't know how to take accountability, you know, pointing the accountability fingers at each other.
Starting point is 00:24:24 And then Marge is like, listen, I'm not saying I didn't do anything, I'm just saying I didn't do anything to deserve that. And I think that's what we always forget on these shows. It's like, yes, she said, then she said, then she said, then she said, and then she said, you can't hit people, you cannot hit people, and you cannot fucking throw everything on the table.
Starting point is 00:24:42 You cannot assault people with dinnerware either. Okay? That's it. That Trump say, it doesn't matter who's fault it is. You threw the shit. It's it. You don't have to say sorry for everything else. Just say I'm sorry for throwing the shit.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Yeah, and actually I want to correct myself because when Jennifer made that said that thing about like, I think we can all agree we don't like when rumors are like, when people should light on rumors. Even though I think Jen was making implication about the bill stuff, she was actually the reason why she said Jackie at the end of it is because Jackie was furious at Theresa last year for giving life to a rumor about Evan. And now Jennifer's trying to be like, remember when you're mad about that.
Starting point is 00:25:20 So you should be mad at Margaret for giving life to a rumor about what's it Louis. but then that's, but Margaret's like, but the difference is like, that was made up. This is an actual documentation that's out there. Okay, it's all over the internet. Everyone has seen it, which is actually correct. That's the big thing is that like, Theresa literally made up a lie last season, literally made up something this season, and she's more angry about like, she's happy. It's, it's better for her to do that. She's okay with that versus someone asking questions about something very real that's on social media. Well, a couple things. There are a lot of differences on what happened. One, this was March coming right to Teresa's face and saying everybody seen the video. It's all over the internet. You should get in front of it. You should
Starting point is 00:26:03 address it. He should say something. It's going to come up this You should get in front of it. You should address it He should say something it's gonna come up this season do something about it, right? There's a difference between that and Teresa's first episode of last season Showing up at a party that was celebrating Jackie and Evan's relationship. Yeah, in a parking lot, but you know Celebrating their relationship and then going around behind her back to every person there going, you know what I am, the heavens fucking somebody at the gym. All right. That's a huge huge difference in, difference in situations. Now that said, she didn't make that up.
Starting point is 00:26:38 That stuff was in the blogs as well. I don't think it was, it wasn't in people magazine. It wasn't as highly, you know, it was. It's a good jobigned to this one. But those were rumors that were around the internet too, the Jackie's husband. That was fine, but there was no evidence there, no point intended, but like with the Louis stuff,
Starting point is 00:26:56 there was like a video of him literally there asking for this woman's hand in marriage with these bros, these short list bros behind them, and it was like so strange, and it was a weird video, and shortlist bros behind them. And I was like so strange and bizarre. It was a weird video. And like that's Margaret's whole point. It's like there's something actually here to discuss
Starting point is 00:27:11 that we can all see what their eyeballs will listen to. Right, you know? Right. And Jim says, yeah, but you're like talking about them in a negative way. No, she's not. She's saying there's a weird video of this guy out there. That's it.
Starting point is 00:27:22 You've all said it's fucking weird. Even you said it weird, and you're the biggest cornal liquor on this show, Jan. Okay. Well, Theresa has been happier if Margaret said, oh, by the way, I saw that video of Louis on the internet with his men, and that was such a lovely sweet video. What a great man.
Starting point is 00:27:37 Then Theresa was like, yeah, he's awesome. Thanks for talking about the video, ninks. Yeah. Theresa, the problem is not that people are talking about your boyfriend being abusive. The problem is that your boyfriend's abusive. Okay. Teresa, the problem is not that people are talking about your boyfriend being abusive. The problem is that your boyfriend's abusive. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Allegedly. Allegedly. You know, we're very lazy. Keep going back. Go to the source. So then they're like, Melissa, of course, is like, where are we now? Cause right now, we're friends divided.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Oh my God, go nag your daughter about something. She's not doing right. Dureker time of trauma. Seriously. So then, yeah, whatever. So they basically are like, okay, it's time to get ready for our bike ride thing. So now they're getting ready. Bill is stretching. He's like, mm, mm, mm, mm. And then, you know, there's just like, just random stuff happening. The Gorgas are on the phone with Antonia Joe Gorka is specifically and she's like I need son block. He's like what are you doing with the sun block? Why do you need some like I just need it dad I'm all this is like what's wrong with her. Hey, she's a 16 year old girl. That's what's wrong girls
Starting point is 00:28:38 Am I right little girls huh? Girls, huh? He's a cool you with I hear I hear someone over there. Who you with over there? Who is, you better tell me who it is cause I hear somebody over there. You better tell me who it is. And she's like, it's Noona. And he's like, oh, all right. You ain't fucking Noona, right?
Starting point is 00:28:55 All right, all right. We can go now, we can go now. Ain't nobody touching my daughter. Yeah. So then, anyway, they start, uh, they, they all head off to this bicycle thing and they arrive. It's a thing. It says the sprocket rocket, but the Lord gets that goes,
Starting point is 00:29:13 sprocket, rocket. I'm like, please have the Lord do all your marketing. Come, Rod. The sprocket rocket. Hi, I'm Delores. I have a reservation for 14. For the sprocket rocket. I have a text message from my ex. He wants to know, does this fit in the living room?
Starting point is 00:29:34 70 and housewives have such iconic lines that we just remember season after season. I think mine is going to be sprocket rocket. Hi, I'm Dolores. I have a reservation for 14. On the sprocket rocket. I just like the idea of like, I mean, we know that like Bravo book this, but I like to think of Dolores going through Yelp being like, okay, activities in Nashville.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Let's see, there's bull riding, cowboy country music music. Oh, sp's see. There's bull riding cowboy country music music. Oh Sprocket rocket rocket rocket rocket rocket rocket three Yelp stars. That's good enough. It's better than one I'm calling them Sprocket rocket. This is Dolores. I need reservations for 14 Hi sprocket rocket. I'd like to know what are your safety protocols? You don't have any great. Great sounds great.
Starting point is 00:30:32 We're there. So they get to sprocket rocket. And I love Bill. I feel like we don't really talk about this enough that I feel like Bill tries so hard to bro it out. But he never, for me, it never quite lands properly because he's like, that's enough that I feel like Bill tries so hard to bro it out, but for me, it never quite lands properly, because he's like, hey, let's go in the shade in the back, baby.
Starting point is 00:30:52 I'm like, he just always is adding baby onto things and this attempt to be like a bro. And I always feel like it's so awkward. And I just want him to stop saying baby all the time. Oh, they're great. He cracks me up. I mean, later he does this thing where he's leaning on the countertop because the guys were always
Starting point is 00:31:09 leaning on the countertop. Like, it broke and Bill does it, but with his palms flat on the countertop and his elbows facing the other way. And he's just like, preening up, just smiling. Like, they're real on the rock. That's like, yes. I saw that too. He's like, it's real on the rock. I saw that too. So funny. They're going for a group activity and he's like, mm, better stretch. This is a tour de France to those boys. They
Starting point is 00:31:38 have to compete over everything. Like, no, but A and one of them know what the two are the Francis, so. I know, they're way already out of their real house. No point. And, so Bill is like, he's like, mm, so let's get in the shade in the back, baby. Mm, I love a shady part and I love a back part. Mm-hmm. Now, I don't want everybody to think
Starting point is 00:32:02 that I just hate every employee on TV like this. I also hate employees in real life like this, okay? I hate the waiters who act like this. I hate anybody who acts like this and the over-enthusiasticism trying to get you into it like a fucking warm-up comic at the beginning of a terrible talk show that you're getting paid $50 to go see because you can't pay your electric bill. Sorry, it's getting too personal. But the guy's like, everybody, welcome to the box! $50 to go see because you can't pay your electric bill. Yeah. Sorry, it's getting too personal.
Starting point is 00:32:25 But the guy's like, everybody, welcome to the box. OK, we're going to go on a body. Yeah. Here's what you do. I was like, oh my god, shoot this fucking guy. This guy embodies that part of Mama Mia, where they make you stand up and sing for Ted Minnes at the end. That is this guy encapsulated into a person.
Starting point is 00:32:44 He was awful. And it was, his name is Drew, and there was a lady there named Alice, and Alice is like the bartender who actually walks and serves the drinks on this contraption, but Drew is like, he's like the captain leave it. And he's like, hey, but I'm just Drew. This is Alice in, everybody's had Alice in. Everyone goes, hey, Alice in. And I'm just like poor Allison that she has to sit,
Starting point is 00:33:05 she's like I'm just trying to pay my bills at Vanderbilt. I just need to earn some cash. God, I'm stuck with Drew the bike driver. Yeah, cause Drew is that guy that someone's dad's like now Drew, that's one of the boys who's moving the management. And you're like really? But is that the goal?
Starting point is 00:33:25 Like, is that the goal really bad? Like, do you want me to move up to management for the multi-battling bike experience? Like, is that what you want? But your dad's like, but that truth got it going. Look at the enthusiasm. Can't you have some enthusiasm? No, I'm a fucking busboy at Applebees.
Starting point is 00:33:41 I got called a bad Apple today for not, you know, dusting the top of those terrible plastic lanterns hanging from the ceiling, okay? No, I don't wanna be an upper management at Applebees. I think we all know Drew's real future is that he's gonna be a deck hand on below deck because you know it's gonna be like, below deck season 14, and there'll be like episode four
Starting point is 00:34:01 and they're like, the crew, all the guests want the crew to dress up in mall, it seems like actually, this is sort of my wheelhouse, like before I was on in Yawding, I actually used to pilot a 13 person bike in Nashville, so fun is sort of my thing, and I'll have a contriving, you know? Cause like, is that like the most below deck backstory of all time, this fucking bike?
Starting point is 00:34:21 And by the way, It really is, and he'll be like, I was a captain of a 14-pedalier bike. Same. I know. I also feel so bad for the people of Nashville, not this time, but like two times ago when we went to Nashville,
Starting point is 00:34:34 we stayed in a hotel that was actually like a block away from Haddie B's, which is where they go next. And I just remember I walked over there and like five of these bikes went by and it was all run by true. They're all like, hey, if you see a red light, say red light, red light, red light. And I was like the poor people who live here walked over there and like five of these bikes went by and it was all run by true. They're all like,
Starting point is 00:34:46 Hey, if you see a red light, say red light, red light, red light. And I was like the poor people who live here who just have to are just like, you know, they're playing doodle jump or whatever. And then all of a sudden they hear this like Drew outside their window, every red light, red light, red light. I'm like,
Starting point is 00:35:00 people in Nashville deserve better than that noise in the background, you know? We all deserve better, you know? I suspect Drew might Nashville deserve better than that noise in the background, you know, we all deserve better You know, I suspect Drew might even deserve better. I had you know evidence of that, but I'm in an empathetic mode today So let's see. I just here's my note that I wrote down about it guy is too energetic Now how I went how I got all that out of that I don't know, but the memory triggered me I so then to loriss I was gonna say, there's also a game that they play, which is that whenever they show up to a red light,
Starting point is 00:35:28 the whole group has to say, one, two, three red light, they all have to scream it and then they all drink, which I was like, is this just because Drew is a terrible driver and at this point, he just needs people to tell him when there's a red light. Like, how many intersections has he busted through and having car accident those he caused.
Starting point is 00:35:45 He's like, I better call the credit game so I know when to stop my bike. Well, I mean, I just think as a kid from the 70s and the 80s, I just miss drinking while you're driving games. You know, those were so fun. All right, kids, there's a red light. So don't forget to yell red light, round, round, round, round, round, round. But I say red light three times.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Is that something three times? You got it. You got it, guys. So anyway, you're about to say something about Dolores before I waited on that really matter. They're going to had a things. None of this matters. This is going to be a 19 hour recap of talking about literally nothing. So they go to, so Teresa comes, right? And Marge is, here's my problem with Marge. The whole season, she's just,
Starting point is 00:36:29 she's got the right cards. She's just kind of playing them all at the wrong time. You know, she used this Teresa stuff right at the beginning instead of kind of waiting for somebody else to bring it up and her to say Teresa, you know, maybe she's getting in front of it. She used the gen stuff, she didn't, she waited for Jen to come over
Starting point is 00:36:45 to kind of try to apologize, which is the wrong time to victimize somebody. Yeah. And then with this, she's playing it too hard. Like everybody can see Teresa was wrong, but Marge is just walking around like, I've not talked to Teresa. I've had it, that is it, my friend is down.
Starting point is 00:37:00 And Teresa comes on acting all nice, like, Hi! Hi! La, la, la, la, hi! hi, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, I think she thinks she's doing that because Teresa did just throw a bunch of drinks at her and did just fat chamber the night before. So I think Margaret thinks she's standing up to the monster, but I kind of agree with you. I think the timing is not quite right. She sort of let somehow Teresa is coming off as like the warmer, not more mature person, but she's like the friendlier person in a weird way and Marge is coming off as the person who just can't get over this issue. Yeah. When she pulls shit because Marge is coming off as a person just can't get over this this issue. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:45 Yeah. Because Marge is totally on the right. Yes, Marge is in the right. That's what makes me crazy. I'm team Marge on it. It's just how she's playing it like her timing of it is just not right. Like she just talked to everybody and she knows that everybody is giving Teresa a pass. So she decides to emphatically not give her a pass. And then they she also knows that every little thing that Teresa does that looks like, and I'm sorry,
Starting point is 00:38:07 they're gonna take as giving Teresa, you know, they're gonna give Teresa an award for it and congratulate her. So for Teresa to come and say hi, so friendlyly. So friendlyly and loudly to Marge and Marge being cold back is just the optics, the optics. Come on. Yeah, yeah, no, I agree.
Starting point is 00:38:26 I think you're right. So they go biking around. They go terrorize Nashville with a Jersey, Jersey bumps. A they're like fist bumping and yelling red light and all this stuff. And then eventually, go jogor, cause like, A, let's dip this thing. Let's dip this thing.
Starting point is 00:38:43 I'm like, you realize if this 13 person bicycle tips over in a little traffic, some of you will wind up with several broken bones. This is not a pool float. That is so Jersey though, right? It did be. Let's fuck it up, all right? Because they're laughing while they're riding the bike.
Starting point is 00:39:02 They're talking about how this was Jersey traffic would be like, Hey, what the fuck you doing? Get the fuck out the road, you fucking moron. Which is true. And because I was thinking in Texas, you would get shot. Like, we can't have these because someone would come out with a gun and be like, you moved that fucking monstrosity of a bicycle or you're gonna get it through the chest. And it would probably be legal. But Jersey, I think what they really do, they would really do is tip it over. Yeah, I think so. So then they finally arrive at Hattie Bees
Starting point is 00:39:34 and they're like drunk and they're dancing around and Jenna Melissa fall over and Jen's like, don't you know I'm a faller. And so we get a montage of Jenna for falling over through the years, which is always great. I love Slopstick. This is, you know, one thing I gotta credit
Starting point is 00:39:51 the Jersey cast for is they do not give a fuck about looking like tourists, like wherever they go and they've got such pride about where they're from. No matter where they go, they shame the other people for not being where they're from. They're like, oh, this is how you do it here. And so like they'd go on a European trip. Well, they did, you know, they were kind of like that.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Like, well, one thing to string you during my hand, I'm stupid. Everyone knows it's the left side. No, no, Treesauk, actually, it's the right side. Uh, not for the cause coming the other way, you know, like idiots, but they walk into spicy hot chicken place and they're like, oh yeah, you got a spicy? No, I like it really spicy. I'm Italian.
Starting point is 00:40:33 My mom made, adabiata, that's what we call it in Italy, all right? So you can do that? You think I'm afraid of you? I know spicy. You don't know spicy. It's like Jesus Christ, would you eat the local fucking chicken without shaming it?
Starting point is 00:40:46 Also, no disrespect to your mom and her cooking, but I'm sure that the red pepper flakes that she included in her era behada are not gonna be quite as hot as the full jar of cayenne pepper that's going on to your natural hot chicken, okay? And you know that the place is used to tourists, like it's in a tourist area.
Starting point is 00:41:06 And you know that they're used to these fucking people coming in like, oh really spicy? Oh yeah, I'm from wherever. Show me your spiciest. And they just smirter them with the spices. What's it like? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I was like, God, you know how I'm,
Starting point is 00:41:23 this probably happens every day multiple times a day. Like, give me your spiciest one. I wanna see what that's like, you know? So I'm already feeling so bad for this poor waitress. It has to be like, the spiciest thing is the shut the clock up. Hey, that's funny. Shut the clock up. And let's get famed in, okay?
Starting point is 00:41:41 Yes, of course. Here's your shut the clock's up. Commissions, here comes one right now. And just like Phil said, they're gonna make a competition out of it. So the guys are gonna eat the spiciest thing and see who can withstand it the longest and feel like, mm, I can. By the way, there was also a weird,
Starting point is 00:42:06 when they were talking about this, doing this competition, there was like this weird moment where Louis says to Teresa, like, you want the, hey, three, you want the hot chicken? And then Melissa turns to Joe and goes, well, you get the fucking hottest chicken every night. And then Louis goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I'm like, wait, I'm confused about several things. Is Melissa calling her Lady Parts a chicken right now,
Starting point is 00:42:30 like a hot chicken? That's me. And is Louie thinking that, what is Louie laughing at now also, by the way? Because they say like, chick, you got your chick, right? So she's like, you got the hottest chickie you know, like the hottest chickie here, whatever. So she's calling herself the hottest. I thought she was talking about it. Well, Louis is doing, I don't know. Well, like I, I didn't think, you know, just as someone who doesn't eat chicken, I see it. I'm like, this
Starting point is 00:42:58 is so much like chicken death, like this whole episode. Then the next scene, they're like, we want some chicken lollipops and they're just like, it just looks like big, impaled chickens. Like it's just horrible. And on this, but on this one, I'm like, Ronnie, people eat chicken, like shut the fuck up. You haven't had chicken for like three years and all of a sudden you're saying, like shut up,
Starting point is 00:43:18 you hypocrite. But I was watching this and I was like, I'm not really worried about the chicken except around Louie because Louie would strangle the chicken. Charlie around Louis because Louis would strangle the chicken. Tell me, Louis is a strangle, I see it. I think that's why he's always purple. I think that's his karma for whatever strangling he's done. Like, he just is very like purple and like,
Starting point is 00:43:35 ooh, he's very strangle ready, you know? Like, he is like, or very strangled, you know what I mean? Like, he seems like his like his the blood And a chance of his face a strangling. Yeah, it's like a massage ring, but with strangling instead We'll try it. We'll try it. Yeah, we'll try people in do we'll try it. Yeah, right So yeah, so anyway, it's time for them to have their spicy chicken et cetera and So yeah, apparently Bill just loves spicy.
Starting point is 00:44:05 I actually thought this was cool because Bill loves spicy food so much. And Jennifer loves bragging about how much he loves spicy food. Oh, really, anything spicy. He takes the wasabi and just puts all of it in. So she loves it. He loves the spiciness.
Starting point is 00:44:19 It's like the most proud she's ever been of him before in her life. I know what everybody should do when their been is outed for having a long time affair. My husband can swat at the best. It's like, okay. All right. You know, that's the, that's the track you're going to go on. I support it. So then, uh, yeah. So, so now it's time, it's time basically, well, though, it's not. They're just announced announcing they're having this, this chicken thing. But meanwhile, molasses like telling Teresa like, Teresa, we need you to behave today.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Okay, we need to have a fun lunch, which is Teresa, which is also molasses way of agitating Teresa to get her to not have a fun lunch. Yes, exactly. Because Melissa knows she doesn't have a goddamn story in line. She hasn't figured out yet that they've completely cut Antonio's sweet 16 party out of the show But she knows that she's always called the boring one because she makes Instagram posts like oh really? I think it's boring. It's in happiness and fun times
Starting point is 00:45:19 So she knows that she's considered the boring one so she's at least got to instigate you know what she does She's like please don't talk to Marge and she's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm going to talk to her now. I'm going to talk to her right now. No, please let us have fun. I'm going to talk to her. And they're at the table right next to Marge's table, right? So Marge hears this and she's just fanning herself rolling her eyes like, oh my God, please,
Starting point is 00:45:43 just let me get through the bun of the chicken. That's all I've recrusted. It was ridiculous. Somehow I got bun in my teeth. So Margaret's like, so she comes over, she, Drisa comes over, says next to her, and goes, so like, can we talk? Can we talk? And she's like, you know what, now I don't think it's an appropriate time, okay? You know, your brother's about to shit a thousand shits out of his butt from this chicken So I just want to watch that friend name it okay She's like do we really need to ruin another meal? I think oh yeah, you've been talking about Louis from us now Hey, you know what that hurts my feelings cuz you know I thought we was friends
Starting point is 00:46:21 You know what 10 oh yeah, no they're right yeah now We was friends You know what 10 oh yeah, no they're right. Yeah, no Well this to me isn't about Louie. It's been so very large Conversation and I don't think now is an appropriate time and she's like well, I do it. Wait. I want you I'm 49 years old. I do what I want you when I'm 49 years old So like to me to me to just wait stop, cause you're getting yourself worked up now. I'm like, ah, I talked with my two of them. And she's like, I want you to understand, all right?
Starting point is 00:46:53 And she was like, later, later, this chicken, the spicy chicken, come on, the hot chicken spicy, they said it's real spicy. Come on. It's like, my Zarya Arabiada, come on. And she's like, no, good,ada. Come on, it's like, no, go get a butter in me. The whole trip were not fun.
Starting point is 00:47:09 It was not fun. I'm like, that's because you made it not fun, Teresa. I know. I love that they talked to Teresa, like she's five, two, it cracks me up. They're like, no, come on, Teresa, but they're spicy chicken. Aren't you excited to see how spicy the chicken is?
Starting point is 00:47:24 Call it spicy chicken. Look't you excited to see how spicy the chicken is called spicy chicken? Think it for like a lollipop the chicken lollipop Traces over their coloring a menu, you know like Why it's good 45 minutes. He still hasn't made a way out of that maze on the place mats crazy. Oh And of course, Jen's like, that was nice. That was the last of you, Teresa. It was nice. I took the initiative to come over and talk.
Starting point is 00:47:52 And so Margaret's like, what's always on her tips. And now I don't think it was nice. So then, yeah, I've forgiven her very quickly with things. You know, like with the hair poles with Danielle, I'm just very quick to forgive. And this time it's going to take at least three dinners. Okay, so we measure things in New Jersey. So she tells us that she always had a soft spot for tree because her mom had just died. And like we've mentioned many times on the show, Teresa is constantly going through something
Starting point is 00:48:20 on this show. And it's not like it's fake stuff, it's real stuff. But it's like, you never can really go against Teresa because she's got something completely traumatic going on, right? And Marj is like, you know, it's always a trauma and like, I'm always there for her and I have this sauce spot for her. Also, she's the star of the show that I want to be on. So yeah, let's not leave that out. And Marj is like, but you know, she's trying to think about talking. And that means that there's been progress. Look, she found the word potato in the word scramble. That's progress, baby. It's not even spelled right. She is she put
Starting point is 00:48:57 you brought you to that's not a potato. Like why are you protected? She found the word potato. She didn't. She didn't. She did. She's trying. Hey, look, she reset. They brought you a free glass of milk. Cause she won. No, that's what I ordered it in. Like she didn't even circle the letters. She's just circling the table. That's a crumb. She circled the crumb.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Crumbs do not count in a red scramble. She circled the maze. And then she just put X's all over the number I love it the letters in the words scrambled she will even teach the children's menu right all right Oh look now Joe go against circling crumbs also what's wrong with the You got crumbs you should see the quants we got in Jersey. You think this is bad, huh? Look at that. Hey, look, I made it dick.
Starting point is 00:49:49 I made it dick. It's a dick. It's a dick. Amazingly, that dick does circle the letters, P-O-T-A-T-O, so I guess it qualifies. What came first to chicken the G- I don't even know what this one So chicken chickens the chicken guides so that the hot chicken arrives and They just are
Starting point is 00:50:16 They just start like you know they start bill starts dipping his fries in it just to sort of test out the spice Now I don't know I don't know if you've ever done one of these spicy things spicy challenges. I did it once. I did it something like this once I was insane. I would pay to see you. Oh, do a hot things challenge. I would pay to see your things challenge. Can we just call that hot ban and the hot things challenge. So I was up in San Luis Obispo about like eight or nine years ago. And there was a group trip and we're at a restaurant and the restaurant had like a spicy burger and they said if you can finish the spicy burger, you get like a t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:50:56 And so I asked the waitress, I was like, how spicy is this burger? I said, how many people finish the burger? And she goes, about 50%. I was like, that's actually pretty good odds for like a spicy. You would think for like a spicy challenge, the odds are like, I've seen three people do it, you know?
Starting point is 00:51:11 But she was like half a people can do it. So I was like, I wanna free-teacher it. I love spicy food. I'll do it. I'll do it. So the burger comes and my whole strategy was, I wanna take like as many bites as quickly as possible so that way before the spice really hits. So I take like on the
Starting point is 00:51:31 second bite the heat is so overwhelming. I'm like oh my god because there was like ghost pepper this man they put spice in the first disaster and it was so hot and then people in my everyone in the group everyone was so hot. And then people in my, everyone in the group, everyone was so curious that everyone started taking bites also. And they were like, one girl took a bite and went, ran to the bathroom to throw up immediately. And the whole night was crazy. And the point of the story is that,
Starting point is 00:51:57 take those spicy challenges seriously because they fuck you up. Like, you, it was painful. Yeah, they fuck you up. It was painful. And then the worst part was that like when I went home, I felt myself digesting. You could feel it so hot, you feel it going
Starting point is 00:52:11 like at different parts of your body. Like you know how far along you are in the digestion process, which is cool, but also disgusting. And right, in a scientific way, it's cool, but. Yeah, like it's sort of cool to have like a little tracker in there It's like baby, baby, but I'm telling you people Don't do these spicy challenges. It wasn't worth it And I didn't even get the teacher at the end. I did manage to sort of like finish it
Starting point is 00:52:33 I'll be it with help from other people and they're like you have to finish your fries to which had ghost pepper on them And I was like, you know what fuck this teacher? I just didn't even win Got nothing out of it. Yeah, and that's like you know It's like Melissa says later like that was a dumb competition because you don't even win a good prize. Like why are you putting yourself through that? And that's how I feel about like you want to t-shirt that says wow, I won the spice,
Starting point is 00:52:53 I'll like, I'll swallow anything competition. Like you don't need to be wearing that around anywhere, really. Because I feel like it doesn't make you look good when you wear that out. People are like, wow, you won the eating contest. Yeah, wow. Yeah, for you. It's like wearing a t-shirt that says,
Starting point is 00:53:11 want to kill a two to kill a three to kill a floor. It's like, where are you really going to wear that anywhere? Are you really going to wear it? I think the best t-shirt and the t-shirt that will always remain in my heart is I'm with stupid with an arrow pointing to your right. I love that. That's a classic. Okay. So T-shirt to side. So the guys are doing this contest and Bill, you know, is still trying to bro out in the bill way where he's like, no, this is some spicy shit.
Starting point is 00:53:40 Like, Curses with perfect diction, like, it just doesn doesn't fit but it's so fucking funny and He's probably the calmest through the whole thing because the other guys are almost immediately I'm in Benino. We're like we're not doing this. Evan's like I'm too rich for this and Benino's like Then I'm moving by the way, it's like why yeah, Louis also is trying to bro out Louis now like Bill is trying to bro out in one way But Louis tries to bro out in another way and he would like obviously can he takes one bite and he's like why yeah, Louis also is trying to bro out louis now like bills trying to Brow in one way, but Louis tries to bread in another way and he'd like obviously can't he takes one bite and he's like And Dolores goes don't do it Lou don't do it. Don't do it He was out like in one second Yeah
Starting point is 00:54:21 So it basically and Frank Frank did what I did the last time I did this, because I worked at a Moroccan place, and they would make, Chef is so good there, and he would make fresh harissa, homemade harissa, which is Thai chili, it's a lot of chilies, but it's mostly red Thai chili. It's like a sauce that they make, right? Yum.
Starting point is 00:54:41 And when I first started working there, they're like, oh, ha, taste this chili, taste this chili. And I was like, you guys done from El Paso, Texas, I'm okay, I know started working there, they're like, Oh, ha, tastes this chili, tastes this chili. And I was like, you guys don't from El Paso, Texas, I'm kind of, I know, my chili. You know, I've had one of those attitudes. So they did that to me. They're like, oh, really? Here, taste it.
Starting point is 00:54:53 You think you can eat this little tiny piece of this red pepper, and I'm like, sure. I started crying. Okay, now, like, actually, like tears just started coming out, sweating, and then it hurt so bad, and they had handed it to me like in my finger. So like I took it. And then I started crying.
Starting point is 00:55:08 And then I wiped my eye with my finger, which just had the chili on it. So then I was sobbing and my eye blew up like this. Like it was very cyclopsy. And I was just, I will never do it again. And I pooped out fire. I swear to you, from a little tiny bite of chili. It never left. It was still sometimes I think, I think that chili was there from like 12
Starting point is 00:55:31 years ago. I think it's still there. It's still, it's something's never leave you. It took a lot of parts. Yeah. Like when you do ecstasy or LSD or something, it stays in your fat because it's so, um, absorb and it stays in your fat because it's so absorbent that stays in your fat. And so sometimes you'll just be having a normal day and you'll get high all this said, I'm like, well, bro, want to make out with the checkout lady. What is going on here? And it's like goes away soon because it stayed in your fat. Still there somewhere somewhere. Well, Frank is also having like a meltdown and he has a look
Starting point is 00:56:04 on his face like, he looks like he's sort of getting a blowjob. He's like, wow, like stuff is like falling out of his mouth. It's like his mouth isn't fully open, but it's open enough that things are like just like teetering. Yeah, he's a mess. He's leaking and then Joe Gorgas leaking from everywhere spit just starts falling out of his mouth You know, because he can't even feel his mouth anymore So funny, so then everyone's like have fun pooping later Yeah, seriously, I'm just like we're gonna be having burnt assos So then back at the house
Starting point is 00:56:41 Tiki is there, but he's not doing anything because he's like, I guess working from the vacation house. Yeah. And I was sad we didn't get a shot of Tiki like sitting at the vacation, reading his book. I was really looking forward to it. There was like a shot where Margaret and Joe were on like the porch swing and I was like, wow, Tiki must be furious. Like, that's his wing.
Starting point is 00:57:01 You guys stole Tiki's setup. Yeah. But they all come home and they're like, Tiki, you missed a good time, bro. We had a contest, all right? All right, we tied. Me and Bill tied. We tied the contest, you know? This guy looks like he put a dick in an electric socket, all right?
Starting point is 00:57:18 And Tiki's like, that's gonna feel real good when it's coming back out later. A Tiki barber. He's like an I dress business casual for the occasion. So they basically are like back and now everyone's going to basically take naps. They just frank, because on his bed like, oh my God, the law. I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up. Oh my God, the law.
Starting point is 00:57:41 I'm just happy that the Jinshilla did not have to be there for this So it's getting ready scene you know, we have to have 20,000 getting ready scenes in the self-asset. This is like our third So they do that and did you notice Jackie came down in the dress from that she word of the crappies. I was like, well, I'm honored. Wow. I wanted to make it to the hot spicy chicken episode. Thank you. Wow, Ronnie Eagle Art. Wow, that's, I mean, I have to go back and look at that. Well, it was beautiful.
Starting point is 00:58:15 I'm a gay guy, but I'm still like a pig when it comes to, like I see a pretty girl and I'm like, oh my God, you look so hot. Like I can't stop my, it's like harassment, right? And then when I say it, I'm like, oh my god, you look so hot. Like I can't stop my, it's like harassment, right? And then when I say it, I'm like, you shouldn't, even if you're gay, you shouldn't be like, oh my god. Like, I was shot, I mean, I wasn't shot. I don't know, meeting people in real life is always different,
Starting point is 00:58:35 but I was like, you're so beautiful. It's allowed, you're allowed to say someone's beautiful. It's okay. She was beautiful. I feel like a harasser, and I try not to look at boobs. I know somebody who got a boob job in front recently and they were probably like, did you even notice I got my boobs done?
Starting point is 00:58:52 And I was like, I don't look at your boobs. Like what am I a monster? I'm not gonna sit here and stare at your boobs all the time. I will say boobs aside. I will say that like my experience has been anytime that we've met a real housewife, they've been like kind of knockout gorgeous in person like across the board. Like has there ever been one where you thought Meh, like they've all been like no, they're all there are also much more like
Starting point is 00:59:21 Charismatic to than I think you know like you can really see why they're on TV usually. Why are we, nobody's even listening to this episode. Come on, right? I think they quit like 30 minutes ago. This is one where I'm like, I think we've all seen entirety of this. But let's just talk about what people in real life were. Surely everyone's day to do my fascinating story
Starting point is 00:59:40 about the time I had a spicy burger, right? That was only like 30 minutes. I was just a little bit of a story about me eating something. Rain of fire. So Teresa, little Johnny Cash, chilly, chilly competition song. I think finger hurts.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Mm. Alright, that's what we're at. My finger is. My finger hurts. My finger hurts. My finger. My middle finger. My finger.
Starting point is 01:00:15 My finger hurts. Okay, so everyone's talking, Frank is basically like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, my stomach hurts. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Dua! Dua! Ah, the semiconductors! Dua! Dua! My dynamic! Ah, Dua! And, uh... And this is why Mark, uh, Dolores will always keep her job, because she always brings it back around to whatever the plot is.
Starting point is 01:00:33 She's like, you know what my semiconductors from? The drama that happens earlier. Thank you. Of course, I'm talking about... Died up. Died up. I'm, of course, I'm talking about the drama when it turns out that sprocket rocket did not take Venmo Wow The way that Frank roughed up drew against that brick wall behind had he bees it was drama
Starting point is 01:00:54 So Teresa is going off to Louie. She's saying I don't care that I was doing that in front of everyone because I'm gonna bring it up Because it's a love bubble and tonight I'm gonna make it clear that we're not love bubble And he no one's popping a love bubble I'm a wing and he's like The more they say love bubble the more I think of in Super Mario brothers when like when you die and Mario comes back in a bubble in the new one Just yeah, that's just like to do he just floating along and Super Mario Yeah, so so then Marge is like well, I can't believe treats is doing this and we're gonna get in the new one. That's just like, you're just floating along and it's mario. Yeah. So then Marge is like, well, I can't believe Trees is doing this and we're gonna get dinner
Starting point is 01:01:30 and she's gonna try it again and guess what? Game on. So Melissa, they all, guess what? Time to gather around the kitchen island again. I mean, was this episode produced by Cynthia Bailey? What's going on here? They all gather. Melissa is wearing basically a Mackenzie child's skirt. It's just a black
Starting point is 01:01:49 and white checkerboard skirt, which, you know, you know, Kyle was watching somewhere, being like, oh my God, it's my foyer. So then Joe Gorgia announces that he threw up. And then we get a flashback of him trying to throw up. And he's like, he's struggling at the toilet because his fingers aren't long enough so that way he can puke. So Frank's, hold on, I said, I got something for you. Any hands in the dick, like the severed dick. And you're like, ha ha ha, but then Gorker goes, I didn't even think one second,
Starting point is 01:02:17 I put it right down there. I was like, whoa. Yeah, and I thought his terminology was so funny because he's like, yeah, I put that dick right down my throat because you know, I had to get rid of the poison. Well, you know, he calls sperm poison. Yeah. That's his whole thing.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Like, I gotta take care of myself because I gotta get rid of the poison. And now he is shoving dick down the start to get rid of the poison. I mean, full circle dick moment for Joe Gorka. Well, no, well, that's the season. And failure that they did not capture this on camera. That was a failure. So, or they at least they did show it. Oh, well, the actual
Starting point is 01:02:52 dick part they did. Yeah. Yeah. So now they're now on, they're back in the party vans and they go to they're going to go to a swankier rooftop and Are they at the rooftop or are they having a conversation in the van? I can't quite tell from my notes the specifics They go to the what's that they go to the rooftop. Yeah, they just go because this was a lot of like now They're now they're gathered in the kitchen now. They're going to the van now. They're splitting and going a different band Yeah, now they're at a restaurant now they're in the restaurant now they're on and going in different man. Yeah. Now they're at a restaurant. Now they're in the restaurant. Now they're on the rooftop of the restaurant. Yeah, there were a lot of moments where it seemed like something was going to happen.
Starting point is 01:03:31 But now it was like, hello, rooftop. Yeah. I have a reservation for 14. It's something. My name is Dolores. It may have been, the reservation may have been made under the name Sprocket, Rocket. You should check. So she makes it cheers and they're all talking about how much fun they had and it's a girls and boys situation the girls are over at one table and the boys are at another
Starting point is 01:03:56 table and they're talking about like oh my god you're gonna talk to tree Margaret and she's saying I don't know like how much can you say? And Jennifer's like, but she was not here today. How many when that night's when she said hello? Why? Wasn't it nice when she followed up a little man here and turned it into a fortune teller thing, you know? Wasn't that nice of her?
Starting point is 01:04:17 She's like, and Tracy's like, I don't wanna celebrate her being a good human being. I'm like, thanks, Tracy. Thanks for weighing in today. We do lots of contributions. Yeah, but at least it was a good point. Like she doesn't get points for like being nice once, you know. And so Jen's like,
Starting point is 01:04:35 but why? I may thought they have awards that you give children just to incentivize them. And Jack is like, I don't want to treat Teresa like she's a child. I have enough children that have to treat like children as it is. Okay. So Margaret's like, you know, the problem is you girls have lowered your standards for her. Okay. You really have lowered your standards. Delores is like, I don't think I've lowered my standards whatsoever. But that being said, I did buy this little dog bowl for her. I'm just going to put it at the side of this table for once she gets here, okay?
Starting point is 01:05:05 I mean, even though we stand as for her, de laurice, I mean, you said she was like a dog from a shelter, okay? Not even a more butt dog. Okay, that's ridiculous. And she's like, listen, I don't expect from somebody what I would do for them. Okay. And she's like, oh yeah, and then after that hair pulse, she said she's gonna show me how much she loves me. Oh really? Is that how you show me by throwing an entire table into all of my outfit? Yeah, and then last night she body shaped me. Okay. And
Starting point is 01:05:35 then Jen says, well, I had to say something to you that was mean, you know. And Mark was like, well, you should have said something. You should have said something to defend me. Okay. Just like, I just want everyone to become for a second, okay? Just everyone become here. Look, I got a sippy cup for Teresa. And let's wait, can we get a boost to chair? Can we get a boost to chair for my baby? Huh?
Starting point is 01:05:55 I love that Jen doesn't even hide it. She's like, but I didn't want to make her mad. Like, we're a scared of Teresa. Are you new to this show? We don't want to scare Teresa. So then of course Teresa gives her, you know, Jill Zarian, walk in. Yeah, she's all, hi! And so, Louis is wearing a blazer that has like glitter down, like a center stripe of glitter down the back, which is just like, so.
Starting point is 01:06:29 He's wearing his Nashville Contrasta jacket. It was like Nash Jersey at that moment. And that's Jersey. Yes, and then Margaret. And then they're separating to go to the boys and girls table and they have to like kiss each other. It's like, I'm not mancy. Uncle miss you too.
Starting point is 01:06:45 Like miss you. Call me. I'm looking at the text to me, all right. And since you know Margaret's mad at her, Margaret does the thing that she does when someone who she's mad at walks in, she's like, I'm gonna suck on a very long straw. Just stick to her mouth and just stare.
Starting point is 01:07:03 With my mullies, with my mullies. It's like put the straw all the way in the back of her mouth and just stare. With my mola is, with my mola is. It's like put the straw all the way in the back of her mouth. It's like she's at the dentist. So, Louis pulls Joe aside for this scene. So he's like, Joe, can we talk? Listen, I just wanted to take this moment and thank you for being so genuine with me, you know. Because like you helped me give me a fair shake.
Starting point is 01:07:23 You know what, the girls is different because you know there's been so much judgment about my past, right? The past that you like lie about right to their faces, even though there's a video proof proving that you're fucking lying, you weirdo. Yeah, exactly. So it's like, yeah, the only judgment I want is from that girl right over there. Did you see what she'd, I'd never seen scared, some of scared awards scramble like she'd by the time I looked at that kids menu, they want any more letters on the page. All right, now that's my wife. Listen, I'm gonna ask a man ask I'm gonna come I'm gonna take it to Europe next
Starting point is 01:07:57 next month. I did I'm gonna propose to and Gorka's like really? Yeah, I want to respect you like you're her dad and I want to ask you for her blessing listen I'm sick of people treating your lectures to a little girl but that being said do you mind if I take your daughter out to an ice cream huh and he's like you know what I'm glad you're telling me that you know because like the miannings like at first so it's like I really like this guy you know but then the stories they just this is like more and more stories Just kept coming, you know, and if there's only like one Instagram proving they use store simple foreign
Starting point is 01:08:31 Afters of house you never even owned, you know the promotional business. That's one thing But if it happens multiple times, that's one this trouble, right? Yeah Exactly. She's like, you know, I haven't I haven't asked you anything because when I did get involved with her ex, it was problems, okay? Cause she's my only sister and she'd been to hell and back, sort of like my stomach today before I gave a blowjob to a seventh penis. And Louis said, well, you know, like, look,
Starting point is 01:09:02 oh, cause Joe's like, all right, so I gotta ask you, what's up with the past, bro? And he's like, well, you know, like look, oh, because Joe's like, all right. So I got to ask you what's up with the past, bro? And he's like, well, look, I gotta tell you, bro, you know, like I got the voice at 35. And I was confused. So I had some toxic relationships, you know, like, you know, dirty, thirsty, low life slut exes, all right? That's what happened. Oh, okay. That makes sense.
Starting point is 01:09:24 Oh, you sound really respectful of women. Yeah, take her away. Take her away, Louis Yeah, sounds great. Seriously actually added slutty, but he's didn't say all the other things. Yeah, he might as well He's like, hey, I mean you could have been in a toxic relationship, but they're constantly coming right just like this one down here I'll point to they're constantly coming right just like this one down here I'll put onto my penis constantly coming and and and and very very so the ladies are watching and of course gossiping the whole time Jackie's like oh my god look at look at him he's being quiet that's not good there's some quiet over there
Starting point is 01:10:00 I'm just like you know what I think happens is that we just get very anxious when you ask him questions you know what I mean that's Louis just gets very anxious when you ask him questions. You know what I mean? That's why he can only vouch a jeopardy because they only give you answers. Okay, you have to make up whatever question you want in response. I can't even imagine Louis on jeopardy. What is the color purple? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:10:24 I'll take bitches who lie about me just to make me look back because they didn't want me to be happy for 500 Alex, right? So, um, Jackie's like, I don't like the narrative that girls in this passage is crazy bitches, which I agree with. And then, uh, Mark was like, you know what, there's her side, there's his side, there's the truth, and then there's the cilantro in my teeth. Okay, that's what I'm saying. The third side, there's his side, and there's me covering it in the table of food because somebody cannot control themselves. Okay. So Luis, Dolores is just nodding like you're
Starting point is 01:11:03 very right girls, which I'm not going to admit at all when I kiss Teresa's ass for the rest of this episode, so go carry on. So then, Louie, go back to Louie and he's like, listen, I'm not going to say I'm like this ground of a man, okay? You know what? I mean, mistakes, but you know, I'm trying to be better now and I met your sister and my life changed, okay? Hold on, hold on a second I look up crying bro okay look you know that I have these nights like sniffing
Starting point is 01:11:33 like he smells something coming down the block is so it gets me every time I'm like what does he smell like what is he sensing you know like maybe he's got some super power but he's like I stay at night and I've been visualizing this girl. And she, she came. I'm like, you visualized Teresa. That wasn't you visualizing. That was you watching Bravo. Fuck her, okay.
Starting point is 01:11:56 I just feel bad for anyone who is like trying to manifest a wife and they to reset you to ISIS, what they get. I don't know. So like, I mean, that you end up with Teresa and that you're happy that's okay, but that was your goal. I mean, it's like such a weird goal. I mean, it takes me back to the, you know, the pedaling guide just wanting to move up to management. So, Gorgas, like, hey, I appreciate that. You know, if you ask me for a hand, then absolutely get the saw. I'll chop it right off for you. So let's see here. Joe's like, wow, you know, we asked me that's respect. So yeah, do it. Maria. So then Frank's like, you know what I think he's asking? We can marry Grisha. That's what he's asking.
Starting point is 01:12:40 And everyone's like, maybe he's asking for a hand job. He's asking and everyone's like maybe he's asking for a hand job Hey come see us in a lay out city, huh? So now So now that that Louie and and Joe rejoin the guys and everything at this point the enormous chicken lollipops have arrived. It's literally like a rotisserie on its side and Trisha's like hey babe. You like chicken, huh? You like chicken. And Margaret is, she's like, oh god, Bill, you poor thing. Cause at this point, apparently Bill has started to go into decline over the spiciness. Like he's been very chill, but now he's like, now something's bad. Because Margaret's like, oh, you poor thing.
Starting point is 01:13:17 You put the, first of all, your, your peak at and green. Okay, you can unbutton the top button. Okay, that's better. Okay, not all the way down, Bill. Okay, Joe, go again. I do not say take off your pants. What's wrong with the men all over here? Joe, put on your seat thumb shirt. Why is Joe Gorgon swallowing a rubber dick right now?
Starting point is 01:13:33 Can somebody tell me? I never told him to do that. Does Joe Gorgon know that it was chicken lollipop and not a dick? Okay, just checking. So Joe and Melissa come to check on Louis and Trey. And Louis is like, we talked about the past a bit Alright, that's what we talked about and Trey's like, yeah, I know you guys like I feel bad for him cuz like he's been through stuff
Starting point is 01:13:52 And then like Margaret's bringing light to it and Melissa's like, I don't think she met bad for you guys. She's right over there. Why don't you go talk about it? What do you go right now? Go talk and definitely don't make a scene and definitely don't throw chicken lollipops all over this rooftop, okay? And don't do anything that would keep me on this show even though I've done nothing for years and years,
Starting point is 01:14:18 on top of years. Yeah, so Teresa goes up to Margaret and she's like, can we talk? Which I thought was so rude if her to pull Joan River's famous line in front talk? Which I thought was so rude if I had to pull Joan Rivers' famous line in front of Margaret. Like that was a power move by Teresa. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 01:14:31 And Margaret. Can we talk? Margaret's like, okay. So Margaret's like, you know what? All right, you asked me like Joan would have asked me. So yes, yes, we can talk. Sure, sure. So they go over.
Starting point is 01:14:43 Now this surprised me this scene because Teresa's a dumb dumb, but she's actually so smart. Like you can see, and she's so house-wise smart. Like you can see how she's been on this show because she knows exactly how to play this. She doesn't come over. It seems like when she starts a big fight,
Starting point is 01:15:00 it's in front of everybody. It's performative. It's like, look everybody, I'm sick of this shit, and I'm telling her off in front of everybody, but she really hasn't had to sit down with Marge, right? And A, she respects Marge enough to not try this shit one-on-one, because she knows it's not gonna fly. So she's trying to kind of behave herself,
Starting point is 01:15:17 but she also knows how to just make herself the victim in it, because even I was like, okay, I'm on Teresa's side now, I see, because she's like, I want it, it was me who was like, okay, I'm on Teresa's side now I see. Cause she's like, I want it was me with a blanket. Cause I'm, I have my feelings. And then she starts crying. And I'm like, oh my God, she is, she knows what she is doing. This is why the woman keeps her job, you know, handed to her.
Starting point is 01:15:38 Yeah, for sure. And so Margaret's like, look, as soon as I saw the shit that was at that point, Louis, I came to it. You put it in. And I was like Teresa, you got to get ahead of this. Okay. at that liui I came to it your party and I was like Teresa you gotta get ahead of this okay you know me I want to get ahead of everything the day you met me I said looks nice like my contractor I cheated on my husband I love ice coffee I got snickers cream in my purse and honestly I'm about to get sued by a whale okay I put it all out there
Starting point is 01:16:02 and Teresa's like yeah but I didn't want this stuff out there. You get it? Like the video, the blogs and she's like, but unfortunately it's fucking out there. Everybody had seen it already Teresa. And she's like, yeah, but my friends talking about it does make a light of it, which Teresa is just obsessed with saying's with the word light. I know. I'm saying, like, you mad that she's making a light of it or bringing light to it. What is it? You know, I need the light version of it. Like, maybe some of it, but just make it lighter. You know, like you mad that she's making a lot of it or bringing like to it. What is it? You know, I need the live version of it. Like maybe some of it, but it's making it lighter. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:16:29 Like the dying cold version of the story is. And Mark was like, you know what? Pretending it never happened. That's giving it light. Okay. You know what you could have said? I was in the bathroom, bad relationships, but I'm working on it. And I have a great girl right now.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Teresa, are you listening? Are you back? You're doing another with scramble aren't you? Okay, cuz someone clear these menus out of here at the very distracting And Teresa's like, but that is what he's doing and yes today the season finale He finally showed up with this line Which is actually taking Marge's advice, which is fine. It's so weird. The show is so weird So he finally did take that tactic tonight Which was good. I mean, he should
Starting point is 01:17:05 have done that the first day and not acted like such a fucking asshole about it. So she, trees, she's like, no, no, he didn't say that. He said, this woman tried to stab her ex with the butcher knife. That's what he said. And she's like, yeah, I mean, you gotta see him from my views. I mean, I just, I see this stuff on social media. There's like one thing after we're not after a not a, we've been I see this stuff on social media. There's like one thing after Renata, after Renata, and we've been dealing with this for like a year now. And it's sad, like, I'm not a grown-up. I'm not a grown-up.
Starting point is 01:17:34 I think it binds with what I like, and then this happens. Maybe this stuff always happens when you find somebody like, because you're choosing the wrong people. So Margaret's like, Did you choose fucking criminals, dude? That's what you like, you know? Yeah. And Margaret's like, listen to me, I can understand that, but you would never transparent about that. Okay, sorry, too many syllables. Okay. Let me think. You would never,
Starting point is 01:17:56 you never use, you know, say word at you don't see you hide words hide background not open. Ah, ah, ah. Teresa just knows she's gonna argue if whatever. So she's like, look Teresa, I get it, but you were just never transparent. And you just kept pretending you didn't know what we were talking about. And she's like, yeah, because that was on the defense.
Starting point is 01:18:20 And I was like, this is one of the best Teresa seems ever. Like she's just kind of talking it through, not throwing anything. And I feel like I'm brainmashed by this show, because it's like one time Teresa has a decent conversation. And I'm like, she should win an Oscar. I know. Like Teresa from President, she wins. Margaret's like, why would you ever think I would ever hurt you? And Liri just acting feels sincere. Dead end just of course it's sincere. But like the way you approached me and like when I first met you
Starting point is 01:18:56 I like fell in love with you and then we cried over my mom and then like you came from a loving place and like that's the matter that I know And then the mark this Margaret is like a bitch who eats food all the time. If she sees food, he's food all behind my back. She eats food behind my back. Like don't put food on my backpack because you're eating the food out of the backpack behind my back. Leave us a mole, jiggly ass. Like it was going so well. And then it takes a turn, right? So Teresa's like, well, my my real
Starting point is 01:19:23 friends, Dolores and Jennifer, they know me, they know what takes me off and what they kiss your ass because they don't wanna see you, lose your fucking mind and try and murder somebody, Teresa. And Marge is like, no, no, they even said they lowered their standards for you. And they say you gotta treat Teresa different
Starting point is 01:19:39 because Louis is her lifeline, which nothing was really that bad that Marge just said, but Teresa doesn't seem to comprehend it because she starts doing her. Who, who, who thinks, who thinks like she can't finish the sentence. It's just who thinks something bad. Let me tell you something. It was everybody.
Starting point is 01:19:56 Okay. And not just these women, Serena from 10 of fly, Rosanna, I thought Rosanna, Jody one, two, and three. I mean, even my dog, Marl even my dog my lady. Oh my goodness Oh Sue Simmons on the local news. She said it too. I'm it's everywhere to And she's like you know and I said I'm gonna hold your account about I'm not putting up with the shit And she's well, I don't want to train you like shit She's but you do you call me trap mouth you rip my parents then you mad
Starting point is 01:20:22 I won't wait your workout stuff and then you say my ass is wiggling and then last night you call me fat and she's like I wasn't fair She ain't in you. I was just that explaining You said I never missed a meal. She's like I didn't dinner the night before because of what happened You know, she's you called me white trash. You call me a fucking whore You called me a cut fitness. you spelled an entire table on me You treat me like fucking dirt and now oh god, and now you're trying to stick a chicken lollipop in my mouth Which admittedly I will have that after this conversation, yes Trisha think but I was a man
Starting point is 01:20:59 Like duh she's so dumb and also I didn't eat dinner the night before You know why? Because I was fighting with you. Oh, really? The fight that you started? Nobody brought up Louis. This was you for the completely up Louis. No one brought up.
Starting point is 01:21:11 And started screaming at her and accusing her of crazy things. So then, Marjus, like, what if I ever done to you? And she's like, you're always coming at me. And she goes, no. I'd never done with speak to you. I stood up to you. Non-fucking, stop, Teresa. And Teresa goes no, I'll have ever done with speak to you. I still have you non-fucking stop to reset and trace ago Oh, yeah, well then I would say dead-oh and she goes
Starting point is 01:21:32 Did oh your throwing a wrist limbal saying out at me now down done with you Did I to research just yeah like vice versa Now you're talking about judge Ryan Hilton Fred Savage. What is wrong with you right now? You know what to read that I have championed you since fucking day one and you have broken my fucking hot and I am Jahana. So now Louis is standing there. So Mars walks off mad and Louis goes, okay, thank you.
Starting point is 01:22:04 Have a good night. I hate this guy so much. I know. He's the worst. He has terrible. So, oh, and by the way, I said earlier, he's a criminal. I don't know that he's a criminal.
Starting point is 01:22:13 I suspect he is, though, and I can't wait to find out if I'm right in the coming years. So he's like, good night, good night, then. So then she turns back and like, like, oh, God. Like rolls her eyes at him, but she's why I'll always love her. She's like, of a fuck. Yeah. So Louis, like, oh God, like rolls her eyes at him, but she's why I always love her. She's like, of a fuck. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:28 So Louis, like, you okay, Theresa? She's like, there was a lot of sads. And he's like, yeah, well, you know what? She's making you work too hard for an apology and you don't need to dance for anyone. I wait. Nobody I want beyond dancing with the stars. So then Margaret's like, you know what,
Starting point is 01:22:43 I'm done. It was an emotional conversation. I was almost crying because I really do care about it. But then I was like, you know what, I'm done. It was an emotional conversation. I was almost crying because I really do care about her. But then I was like, oh my god, am I really gonna cry about Theresa due to IZanteev? I don't think so. But for her to be spiteful and to shame me, I'm fucking done.
Starting point is 01:22:55 Please pass the chicken lollipop. Thank you. So Teresa is telling Louie. Yeah, and then she said like, your ex, your ex stab somebody. And he's like, yeah, well, you know what? I'm not yet audition for Margaret. Okay. She's starving to sit in your seat. I got news for you She's already sitting in her seat because there's two heads right next to Andy at that reunion and Marj is in it
Starting point is 01:23:16 So she's already got the seat so calm your tits. Yeah, it's really true. Yeah, and by the way, I'll tell you who's auditioning to sit and treat the seat. It's you Louis It's literally you It is you, Lou He's like, let's go. I want to get out of here. I want to get a jet and go home This is too much. It's too much like seriously. I'm done. I don't need this. I work hard You never have to so that way you never have to work a day in the life. Let's go and move it to our 50,000 square For the house. I'm like, ah! Now let me, when he was saying this stuff, like let's get a jet, I worked too hard,
Starting point is 01:23:49 you don't have to. I was totally like, okay, next season, all the, all the stamps are coming out, right? Bro, like he's obviously a shady ass, shates like he's obvious. Who talks like this? And then he's screaming and yelling for everybody to hear and throwing a diva fit on the set that he's been on for about five minutes after just saying he's
Starting point is 01:24:09 changed. Can he please have Teresa's hand in marriage? I mean, this guy is disgusting. So then everyone's shocked, right? Because they're seeing like the real Louie. And so, Jackie's like, well, three tries to convince this is all a good guy, but maybe right now, we're seeing it through colors. And everybody's just watching and pace around like a gorilla and Joe's like But you know what guy she's happy am I right am I right? That was almost an apology right right Then March lays it right out. She just tells all the girls because Jenna's still like But it was nice so March says, I'm telling you.
Starting point is 01:24:45 I was right about Sikki. I was right about Danielle and I'm right about Louis. Goodbye. Thank you. Yeah, I mean that was... She said it. I mean like there was nothing you could say to that when she said that I was like, yep, well, yep. And so that's a clip that will be played in five years. Non-stop. That's gonna be the black one clip that's gonna be the new Like house montage of from Teresa's house. Teresa's selling her house montage So then yes, so now Teresa's like at this point in my life
Starting point is 01:25:17 I just want to be happy and I know Louis wants the same for me So if I have to walk away from certain people to protect us, I have no problem with that. I'll do whatever it takes to protect our love. Oh right, you're gonna quit the show bullshit Teresa. You will never quit the show. If if anything, she thinks she's going to get a spinoff and fuck all these people. And she keeps making all these like veiled threats like, well guys, I tried to talk to Marge and that's it. I don't want to earn my friend group anymore in other words Marge is fired right like if Trees is
Starting point is 01:25:49 not gonna shoot with the marge she's trying to fire a marge but then Louie who's so grow you know I mean how many times do we have to say it I get it but Louie said something to her in this whole thing like we're rich we don't have to do this I make all this money and we can just go live our own lives if we want to you don't need to do this. I make all this money and we can just go live our own lives if we want to. You don't need this anymore. Something like the show, which is such like the, it's like stereotype, boilerplate, abuser language.
Starting point is 01:26:13 Like, you don't need your job, you don't need your friends, you don't need your family, all you need is me and what I can prove. I can tell about cutting people off, like cutting off that support system. I didn't even, I didn't even put two and two together when he said, you don't have to put, you don't have to work another day of your life,
Starting point is 01:26:30 like that that actually implies that she doesn't have to come on the show anymore. Yeah, he's like, fuck this show. All they've done, you know, while I'm trying to make myself look like a good person, all the show is done as undermined me and tried to make me look stupid all the way up into the end.
Starting point is 01:26:43 And you don't need this. We can go, I can pay for it. You know, I mean, he ends. He's trying to convince us the whole season. He's not an abuser by ending the season with the most stereotypical abuser lifetime movie language. Wow. You're right. Yeah. Preach from the pre-street. So then we get like some little epilogue. Truth. Theresa and Lili went on vacation and Greece and she's following.
Starting point is 01:27:06 I asked the question, she didn't mind answering and that question was, would you like a dot coke and I said yes please. What? I wrote, they went to Greece's. So then March is starting an alcohol, an alcohol free beverage line. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:27:25 I'm not the countess. Yeah, better than the countess. Better than countess, really. I'm not that... Any of these were too exciting. I mean, Teresa is getting married. I mean, it's not shocking, but it's something. But I mean, man, in a season of not exciting endings,
Starting point is 01:27:43 Melissa's is just, I'm embarrassed for Melissa at this point. It's like Melissa hasn't missed a game since Antonia started cheer back up. I'm like, I shall do anything for an audience, really. And that's, yeah, I mean, none of these were really very interesting at all. I mean, usually the epilogue aren't that interesting, but these are actually, I mean, it's like a bit more stuff.
Starting point is 01:28:07 It's just showing you, you know. We had Dolores moving again. She moved in with Frank and the kids. Agenda is working on her marriage and Jackie is doing better with her eating disorder or whatever. So it just goes to show you that it doesn't really matter necessarily their personal storylines. Everyone's like, what's your storylines? You're going to pretend you're pregnant. You know, it's just about that. I think this shows the best one out of the currents because they spend so much time together. Yeah, I think you make a really good point. I think when people be like, what's your storyline?
Starting point is 01:28:39 What's your storylines? Sometimes someone's storyline is just like something with someone else. But what's annoying is when someone doesn't have a storyline and we have to actually sit and watch them, like we have to spend real estate, like visual real estate watching like Lisa Rina opening up her garage to show one of her daughters dresses, you know, so that way she can like impress Al from love Island, you know. Yes. That's what's going to happen.
Starting point is 01:29:08 Well, this was a fun season. I can't believe, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off. I literally said hard. At an hour and a half, which is crazy that we did that for this episode, but super fun. Talking to you guys and talking to you, Ben. It's always.
Starting point is 01:29:22 Thank you, Jersey, for such a fun season. It looks like the reunion is gonna be kick ass. I cannot wait for this reunion. Yeah, three weeks. They do a good reunion. So I'm looking forward to that. So we'll catch you on the next reunion episode. We'll actually catch you before that
Starting point is 01:29:36 because we've got speaking for unions, real housewives of Orange County reunion coming up on our next episode, also crap is on demand. So we'll see you there. Bye everyone. Watch what crap is, demand so we'll see you there Bye everyone Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Alice and King actually Savoni she don't take no baloney Courtney's amazing shodell
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