Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Nashvillains
Episode Date: April 28, 2022This week on the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Marge and Tre talk try to clear the air, but it goes as well as Luis trying to eat a piece of Nashville Hot Chicken... which i...s to say, not well.This recap is a Crappens on Demand recap; so be sure to watch it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/65694736See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride.
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we
just love to talk about.
I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the one, the only, the hilarious and wonderful
superstar, Mr. Ronny Karam.
Hey Ronny, how are you doing?
Hi, hi Ben.
Hi, Rani.
Hi, hi everybody.
Hi, we are here today doing crapens on demand,
which means that we go to patreon.com slash watch
or crapens and you support us on the crapens
on demand level, you don't just get to hear the podcast.
You actually get to watch the podcasts, which is exciting
because there's almost always a cameo by Ronnie's dog,
Bueller, I don't see him yet, but I'm sure he's,
is he hiding behind your chair or just,
he hasn't made his late entrance yet
He's not in here today. He's annoyed with me. So whatever he's gonna fight it out by himself in another room
Okay, I'm sorry, I can't eat them and ambs. Just can't eat them
It's not a rule that I made it's rule the god made okay when he decided you would die if you ate them
So I'm really sorry you couldn't have any today for breakfast, but that's just the rules of life
So it's tough, it's very tough.
It's tough, it's very tough.
So anyway, today we're talking real housewives of New Jersey.
It's so weird not having anything to chill at the top of the show.
Of course though, we do have our merch,
which is really excellent.
And even though our tour is over,
the merch still lives on.
So go to crappensmerch.com and get some.
We saw a bunch of you guys wearing it on the road.
You all look great, Paul, but you did.
It actually looks really great and awesome.
So thanks for buying it.
And I guess, I don't know, it's crappin' on demand.
It's merch.
So I think that's basically the only important stuff to mention at the top of the show that
I can think of off the top of my head unless I'm missing something, Ronnie, right?
No, I mean, I don't think we need to come up with things to show.
I think it's, you know, it's like a bonus
if we don't have things to show.
You know, it's like a good thing.
So, hey, I'm looking at your things.
I'm looking at your set, you've got some new curtains.
I do, well, it's not that they're new,
it's just that they're just in frame, but yeah.
I mean, I've rearranged where I'm sitting
because, you know, I was trying to make the Bullets
and Boardwork, it didn't quite pop, and I never put anything on it so now I'm like
amy towards the window so there are there are some curtains you know Ben has
some running oh I don't think those fit your window though well no I'm sorry not
such a straight guy there's supposed to go down to the floor right I know I
know I guess not on a window like that because There's supposed to go down to the floor, right? I know. I know.
I like that.
Well, I guess not on a window like that,
because the window doesn't go down to the window.
What am I judging your windows?
I'm so sorry.
I just happen to notice it when you lift it in them.
No, no, they don't go down to the floor,
and it's something that my mom has casually pointed out
a few times.
Yeah.
Team Parallel.
Yeah.
Sorry, yeah, that was a very mom thing to say.
Well, see your curtains don't match your floor. Well, I'm happy.
This is because of my divorce with David and I ruined my children's lives.
I just want everyone to doubt.
Well, they are tall windows and they're actually pretty tall curtains, but it actually doesn't
look too bad.
The fact that they don't go all the way down to the floor.
No, it doesn't look bad.
I didn't even notice until you moved him over.
That was shameful of me to say, we're going to edit the salt later. No, I'm not going to see the real
Ronnie who shames me for my curtains. So sorry, they do look pretty though. You know,
well, they're all short curtains. They're like men, they can't help it. They're more
than they are. They were just, you know, I just got them off of Amazon like a year ago.
And you know, they're getting the job done.
I'm happy with them.
Yeah, welcome to my whole house.
I'm designed by Amazon.
Yeah.
So now that we started awkwardly with Curtin shaving.
It's okay.
Sorry, sorry again.
Let's go to Real Housewives of New Jersey season finale.
Now it's a shame that this show is ending after episode 13. to Real Housewives of New Jersey season finale.
Now, it's a shame that this show is ending after episode 13 and Real Housewives of Orange County
got 16 regular episodes.
The fuck was going on on that show
that was better than what's going on on this show
who makes those decisions
and what is their number for human resources
because I would like to report harassment, okay?
It's harassment.
My eyes were harassed by Real Housewives of Orange County
for at least three episodes when Jersey is brilliant
and it should have been the president
of the company by now.
I feel pretty good about the episode counts
for both of them.
Actually, I feel like Orange County had a lot of stuff going on.
I don't feel like there were too many episodes.
There was maybe like one episode
that was like a filler episode,
but Jersey's kind of had a few dull ones.
I didn't think that this trip started off
with a bang and a kind of like,
oh really?
Yeah, I think Jersey has been like your curtains.
I think Jersey's been great,
but you know, it's, I think it's,
this is the perfect time to end it. I think it's run great, but you know, it's, I think it's, this is the perfect time
to end it.
I think it's, it's, it's run its course for the season, like end it.
Yeah.
Rather than I don't need like another episode of nothing going on of Dolores walking around
and, you know, Frank feeding the Chinchilla and Joe Gorga and Melissa going to football practice
and, you know, who knows what else is going on.
This is, end it right here. It's good for me. Well, you know, I, I else is going on. This is end it right here.
It's good for me.
Well, you know, I, I'm not saying Jersey should have been longer.
I'm saying, oh, she should have been shorter because I believe I'm a staunch believer in the
13 episode housewife season.
I believe it's the perfect amount of episode for every housewives ever.
There are no exceptions.
I've not found one exception to this rule yet in all these years of doing this.
13 episodes
ended and add more cities there. We're done. This meeting is over. I'm going to go not
feed my dogs some more M&Ms. Thank you. Well, we can agree to disagree. So the point is
is I think Salt Lake City and some of the seasons of New York City were fully worth the
20 episodes that we got from them. But others, not. Oh, I'm sorry.
Sir, this meeting was called to an end already
and Ronnie has left the room.
So I have an argument with the camera.
Okay.
I will do just that.
I will argue with my improperly sized blinds behind me.
Oh, geez, okay, I'm sorry again.
Oh my God, and you're not open.
I can see your face. Nope, this is gonna be, this is sorry again. Oh my God, and you're not over it. I can see your face.
No, this is gonna be,
this is a turning point in the podcast, the blind shaming.
This is what ended it all with the curtain shaming.
I'm sorry, I did not shame your blinds.
And actually, you know my track record
with window coverings,
because I've got window coverings
that are too short currently over my window.
So maybe I'm just projecting, I'm very short.
Very short.
Oh yes, I had to order an inch longer
and then I had to wait three weeks
because apparently 24 inches is just unheard of
in the lows window covering soccer.
Yeah, that's a whole bonus episode to be had about
about like window coverings
because it's actually really hard
to find the proper
sized draperies for a lot of windows.
I discovered during that whole process.
So at a certain point, it's just the exhaustion
of trying to like,
fake find the right thing and then you find the right one
but it's sold out.
Sometimes you just get something,
you just put it up there, you know?
Yes, I sure do.
It's my whole place.
And guess what?
We'll probably be talking about that on this week's bonus. There's another shell. Okay. So right now we're going into Jersey.
And it's just everything that's happened from the beginning. We don't need to go over it. We've got four four weeks of reunion rehash coming up.
So you're welcome. I didn't even write notes on that part. Yeah, I watched this episode right after having dinner
and I had a late dinner and I got very, very sleepy
from I got food coma.
And so I really, like, there will chances are
as we go through this episode,
I will be like, wait, what happened?
When did that happen?
Because I may have dosed off, not because of the show, just because, you know, food coma.
Right.
So just like bear with me here a little bit.
But one thing I do know is that the episode opens up
with a chef, you know, sort of the typical morning things
on New Jersey, a chef shows up to make them breakfast.
Frank wakes up going,
DOR!
DOR!
What happened?
How'd you sleep, DOR?
I didn't sleep, DOR! Yeah. Yeah. And, um, she'sla, D'la what happened? How'd you sleep D'la? D'la, I didn't sleep D'la.
Yeah.
And she's like, I got a chef,
so I figured while we're here,
we'd better do it right.
Am I right?
And then later we're gonna do a bike ride,
but it's all on one bike.
I don't know if you've ever seen the Sunhousewives before.
We're gonna break some walls now.
We're gonna be revolutionary today.
Everyone's on the same bike.
We ride downtown, we have drinks while we ride it.
It's going to change the landscape of housewives forever.
You might as well call me Travis Kalani, because I'm basically changing transportation as we know it with this 13 person bicycle with a bar in the middle, okay? So then over in show in Melissa's room, Melissa's like, well, I mean, look, obviously Teresa
didn't apologize to Marge.
Or can we agree on that much?
And he's like, she apologized to everybody.
Come on, what are you talking about?
She says, sorry, you know, to everybody.
And then it wasn't her fault.
That's an apology.
She's like, no, like she even said that Marge provoked her.
And that's why she got violent. And He's like, hey, you know what?
Coming from Theresa. That means something. All right. It's like, oh, okay. You know what?
Congratulations on not serial murdering for one day, sir. You're totally out of prison for life now.
You guys that guy went one day without the serial killer went one day without killing somebody. You know what?
Statue in a park.
Statue in a park for you, sir.
I don't remember Melissa and Joe being this relaxed about,
you know, or not a relaxed,
but being this cool with a non-apology apology last season
when Melissa threw bowl of cheese cubes across the Jersey Shore
because Teresa would not apologize about like a million things. so it's just kind of funny how they're like so like blase when they're not the ones that need the apology.
Yes, but then Joe is put in between a male and a tree place again because she's like I mean she was even coming from me Joe, which is all Joe wants to avoid, because this family loves that.
It is family after your family.
With family, how could you?
But with family more than you family, I married to him.
I'm pretend married and first, all right?
It's like that's, so when you're not sticking up
for your sister, that's one thing.
But when you're not sticking up for your wife,
and you're not sticking up for your sister, that's one thing. But when you're not sticking up for your wife and you're not sticking up for your sister,
it's rough.
Yeah.
It's rough, job.
Yeah.
I hope you're not eating too much chili in every episode of the show because your butt's
going to be reigned.
Yeah.
Either way, don't hurt your butt any more than it needs to be.
Yeah.
And speaking of eating over in Jack's room, she's talking about because everything was
like so stressful at the dinner last night
She didn't eat a lot and her therapist has given her strategies so like start pushing herself out of our comfort zone
But she's not quite there yet. So say she's gonna really try her best to eat more
There's nothing more
Yeah, that's a story line
Yeah, I mean it's an important story line. Yeah, it's an important story line.
Yeah, it's an important story line.
I'm glad it's on the show.
It's not really fun to make fun of.
And it's also really, I have eating issues myself.
So watching it, I'm like, yeah, but okay, Teresa's drama
is causing issues in your eating disorder.
Your eating disorder issues are causing issues in my eating
disorder. It's just like a whole circle of blame and eating disorders going around right
now. And I needed to subside. Okay. Like I need a break and thinking about my own issues,
which is what this is leading to, which is what Teresa's issues are leading into. It's
just too much for me. Yeah. And then of course, speaking of food,
now everyone gathers in the kitchen
around that enormous kitchen island,
which has been what about 95% of this vacation has been,
is just like gathering down there,
being like, what's going on?
You guys sleep well, you sleep well,
you just say, I want coffee, you want coffee,
I don't have a coffee, do they have pretzels here?
I think there's pretzels in that drawer.
Okay, I'm gonna look for pretzels.
They have spoons here, I don't know,
I didn't find any spoons, I saw a fork.
Like that's like this whole vacation so far, is, I'm gonna look for pretzels. They have spoons here. I don't know. I didn't find any spoons. I saw a fork.
Like, that's like, that's like,
this whole vacation so far is them gathering in there.
So Melissa and Joe were still talking to tree in their room
and, cause tree calls and saying,
Oh my, oh my God, oh my God.
And Joe's like, hey, listen, you know what?
You did great last night.
You did a great apology.
That was great, three.
I don't know where this came from.
It was a terrible apology.
It was like not even an apology.
It was horrific and an included fat shaming.
And she's like, well, you know me,
because when I apologize, it come from a heart.
It came from a heart.
And then a custom hardwhip being like,
okay, everyone just gets to the participation trophy.
Okay, like congratulations.
You get a gold stuff being the biggest jerk that was for you,
Joe and a gold stock you met.
Okay.
So back to Teresa.
She's like, you know, and then for Margaret to say it was insincere.
My, uh, why would she say that?
Why would she say that?
And this is like, well, I mean, obviously,
it wasn't a one-on-one apology to her.
And she's like, yeah, because I don't
can't, can I ain't apologize, huh?
Because she should start talking shit
about my boyfriend, my boyfriend.
Because it's a love bubble, all right?
And I thought my mother was my friend, all right?
So that's your friend, now Melissa,
so you should straighten that shit out all right
Yeah, and Melissa's like well, you know what you and Margaret are both growing adults
You can figure it out and treat this like I'm for you now. Yes
Oh, if I don't want to do something I don't want to do it
So most of like okay, we'll just like try not to come in hot tonight
She's like I'm fine. I'm totally fine. I'm not coming in hot right now
She's the one who comes in hot when she stuffs all that hot hot food in her mouth all the time, you know, I'm saying you
Good morning, my little Passy. Good morning. Good morning, Passy and
Jo Bonino is making coffee for the Laura. So she's like yeah, husband made me coffee
It's like of course he did his other wife. Like, what are you gonna do?
Oh, my bag. Yeah, I'm Tracy's like, other wife, but you're not blonde.
It's like, I think Tracy's last line for the season. And Dolores is like,
well, you know what? He wanted variety. Dolore, I tried to get variety.
And you could get the house. Oh, really? So I wasn't supposed to talk about the massage parlors
you opened overnight, huh?
I'm not supposed to talk, I'm supposed to let
your massage parlors go, huh?
I love that layer added to all of this Frank lore
from Jersey.
I know.
One of their problems is that Frank opened
a whorehouse massage parlors.
I mean, I mean, just like casually just dropped in.
Like this is the story of Frank Catania
who fell down the stairs later in life.
Ha ha ha ha.
Fell, yeah he fell.
That sounds like one of the masseuses
didn't get paid for their happy ending.
But the very least, sir.
So Jennifer's like, massage parlors,
what kind of massage
palace were they mister? He's like, uh, they're a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then, um,
I'm everybody laughs, you know, and so then gem comes in, uh, or Jackie, I guess, must
be Jackie. I was get them confused on my list. She's like,
loining campus, whoever, whoever it was. And Jackie's like, oh my god, I can't believe it's the last day of our trip.
And Frank says,
I'm flying from the oven, flying my back!
And we're just like, but obviously it's been less than stellar for me.
Okay, Teresa came in with the bad attitude that I say.
And then to compliment her, Joe Korka, that was the beautiful apology.
Really Joe, Joe, did she really just say that?
Like, I mean. And he goes, hey, it's just start.
But when we see him, he has like a mouthful of yogurt.
He has like a little yogurt mustache.
I'm like, well, does he know how to eat yogurt?
Why is he so messy with yogurt?
Why does he have a ring around his mouth?
What was he doing to that Danon?
I know.
The joke, or guy giving blood jobs
to even the food items in the house.
Yeah.
And Jim's like, that was a start. I mean, whether you jobs to even the food items in the house. Yeah. And Jen's like, Yeah, it was a start.
I heard what he wanted to do to start during the apology.
They think it's coming chapter's baby.
And Jen's, Jackie's like,
Well, you know, I didn't think it was a good apology either.
And Jen's like, it was nice.
Jackie, you didn't like her apology last year,
but you still took it.
Yeah, and Jackie's like,
well, you know, I took it because I was scared
what she was gonna do to my family next.
And the Melissa's like, well, if there's nothing
going on with your family,
there's nothing that she can't do anything to your family,
you know, I'm like, well,
Oh, really?
Strypergate?
Oh, so you were a stripper on the Jersey shore?
Oh, okay.
Why are you mad?
Why are you mad, Melissa?
I'd like to say, this is rich coming from two people
who are really hung up on the word crook right now.
Yes, even better.
I love a current one.
I have to like dig back five years,
but you're like, oh no, this hypocrisy happened three weeks ago.
Yeah, no, there's current, but you know what?
I love the oldies too.
It's still worse.
It's a vintage.
It's a vintage flavor.
So then, Jack, he's like, yeah, but I did realize that.
And now I realize that I'm just done with this bullshit about Teresa.
And so Melissa's like, oh, so now you're not good with Teresa because I will be bringing
that up as soon as possible with Teresa so that she forgets that she's mad at me for staying friends with Marge when she really realizes she's
been mad at you for faking being friends with her.
Right.
As soon as Jackie said that because Jackie's like, I haven't been good with her at all.
I haven't been at all.
As soon as she said that, I was like, Oh, Jennifer, I thought Jennifer was going to be the
first one to run and bring that to Teresa.
I thought that was going to be a whole rest of the episode.
You know, it's like, Hey, Jackie said she's not going with the animal. What do you think about that, Teresa?
But, um, it actually did not go in that direction. I was pretty surprised.
Yeah. So, um, Jackie says she's not interested in fake friendships, and frankly, I think she's
dangerous. That's what I think. And Margie's like, well, number one, she never apologized.
Number two, which changes my hand motion, so I'm gonna say I'm going on number one.
I'm gonna say number two, but not really do with my fingers.
You know what, she fat-shamed me at the table.
And number three, still keeping one finger up.
None of you said anything to her about that.
And then we see the clip of Teresa being like,
She never messes gamma.
And Delores goes, well, I don't like that.
And most goes, I, I don't like that.
And most of us, I'll never condone it.
Arate then why didn't she say it ahead?
Don't treat Margaret this way.
I mean, if we all just keep allowing her
to do this behavior, it's never going to stop, okay?
So Delores goes, Margaret, we're not her parents, okay?
Sure, I'm out, may tell everyone else
how they should be living their life.
And I'm a yell at other people, but with Teresa, we're not a parents.
So that's where I draw the line, because I'm not physically her parents.
Yes. And Jen's like, yeah, what she said, what a nice baby, but it's not just her, you know, you got to acknowledge your part.
I don't wish. I think that's like, yeah Margaret asked questions and it was clearly annoying
Teresa.
So like maybe Margaret should have like noticed that, well I wouldn't, you know, I'm not
even gonna say that because when Margaret first brought it up to Teresa, Teresa acts like
everything was cool.
So of course Margaret would keep asking the questions because she didn't think there was
anything wrong with it because Teresa madeet minute seemed like everything is fine. So I don't even blame Margaret for like not not picking
up on the signals of her friend. I mean, I think I think it was bullshit. I think to bring it up in
the beginning was fine, but Marge does continue to like gossip and how to impound it into the ground.
And I get that, but it's because Teresa has to answer with all these lies and then she sends Louis over
and then Louis comes acting like a freaking,
you know, a strangler basically.
He's terrifying, you know,
like you don't wanna leave puppies around him
because you know they'll just go missing, you know.
Yeah, but like he's terrifying,
I mean, it just leads to more and more questions
and you're on a reality show.
And Teresa not wanting to talk shit on a reality show about her own life is
Teresa in every season. It's nothing new. I mean remember all the stuff that was coming about her has been possibly getting
in trouble with the law. I was like
It's always been like how dare you while she protects these prints
These princes. Yeah, I've been well, you know, the thing is also like let's not forget that the reason why Teresa threw all those drinks on Margaret how dare you while she protects these princes of men.
Well, you know, the thing is also like,
let's not forget that the reason why Teresa threw
all those drinks on Margaret was not because Margaret
was asking questions,
it's because Teresa hatched a conspiracy theory
that Margaret was the one who started all these rumors
and she was the one who went to Tete fly
and told everyone.
And so like Teresa is furious because of some cock-a-mimmy story.
She's telling herself.
And there's no excuse for that.
I mean, it's end of training as hell, but no excuse.
No, yeah.
She's a Teresa just goes so off the rails.
Yeah, the fight is really about Teresa making shit up
and trying to pin something on Mars.
When Mars didn't make anything up,
all the stuff Mars said is in, it is publicized.
And they keep saying, oh, you know, it's just on Instagram. Oh, it's just on whatever. You didn't have to bring it up. All the stuff March said is in it is publicized. It was and they keep saying,
oh, you know, it's just on Instagram. Oh, it's just on whatever. You didn't have to bring
it up. It was in people fucking magazine, okay? And the woman who was accusing Louis
of being the narcissistic abuser or whatever the hell is called. It's like a new term. It's
like, narcissistic strangler. I'm just going to call it that. That's my term for it.
Narcissistic strangler that she did a people magazine thing running across the country in a wedding
dress. So it's not like this stuff. It wasn't already out there. Let me come on to reset.
Come on, commercials. Here comes one right now.
Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley
Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's no
involved into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements
denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it
is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your
podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. I'm Argros like, you know, I didn't
say I needed anything, but I didn't deserve to do anything like,
I didn't deserve to get that happen to me.
And then Jennifer, of course, now tries to turn this
into like her own thing.
She goes, well, I think we can all agree, babies,
that no one in this group likes it when a room
it gets like, based on, like, shit on it.
Is that right? Jackie.
So she's like trying to turn it into being like,
remember when Margaret exposed Bill's thing,
like remember how I was a victim for a part of the season.
Can we go back to that for a second?
Yeah, so of course it's typical housewives, right?
It's like, this is Filly Pat, me, me, me.
So everyone's saying they don't know how to take accountability,
you know, pointing the accountability fingers at each other.
And then Marge is like, listen, I'm not saying
I didn't do anything, I'm just saying I didn't do
anything to deserve that.
And I think that's what we always forget on these shows.
It's like, yes, she said, then she said, then she said,
then she said, and then she said, you can't hit people,
you cannot hit people, and you cannot fucking throw
everything on the table.
You cannot assault people with dinnerware either.
Okay?
That's it.
That Trump say, it doesn't matter who's fault it is.
You threw the shit.
It's it.
You don't have to say sorry for everything else.
Just say I'm sorry for throwing the shit.
Yeah, and actually I want to correct myself
because when Jennifer made that said that thing about like,
I think we can all agree we don't like when rumors are like,
when people should light on rumors.
Even though I think Jen was making implication about the bill stuff, she was actually
the reason why she said Jackie at the end of it is because Jackie was furious at Theresa
last year for giving life to a rumor about Evan.
And now Jennifer's trying to be like, remember when you're mad about that.
So you should be mad at Margaret for giving life to a rumor about what's it Louis. but then that's, but Margaret's like, but the difference is like, that was made
up. This is an actual documentation that's out there. Okay, it's all over the internet.
Everyone has seen it, which is actually correct. That's the big thing is that like, Theresa
literally made up a lie last season, literally made up something this season, and she's
more angry about like, she's happy. It's, it's better for her to do that. She's okay with that versus someone asking questions about
something very real that's on social media. Well, a couple things. There are a lot of differences
on what happened. One, this was March coming right to Teresa's face and saying everybody
seen the video. It's all over the internet. You should get in front of it. You should
address it. He should say something. It's going to come up this You should get in front of it. You should address it He should say something it's gonna come up this season do something about it, right?
There's a difference between that and Teresa's first episode of last season
Showing up at a party that was celebrating Jackie and Evan's relationship. Yeah, in a parking lot, but you know
Celebrating their relationship and then going around behind her back to every person
there going, you know what I am, the heavens fucking somebody at the gym.
All right.
That's a huge huge difference in, difference in situations.
Now that said, she didn't make that up.
That stuff was in the blogs as well.
I don't think it was, it wasn't in people magazine.
It wasn't as highly, you know, it was.
It's a good jobigned to this one.
But those were rumors that were around the internet too,
the Jackie's husband.
That was fine, but there was no evidence there,
no point intended, but like with the Louis stuff,
there was like a video of him literally there
asking for this woman's hand in marriage with these bros,
these short list bros behind them,
and it was like so strange,
and it was a weird video, and shortlist bros behind them. And I was like so strange and bizarre.
It was a weird video.
And like that's Margaret's whole point.
It's like there's something actually here to discuss
that we can all see what their eyeballs will listen to.
Right, you know?
Right.
And Jim says, yeah, but you're like talking
about them in a negative way.
No, she's not.
She's saying there's a weird video of this guy out there.
That's it.
You've all said it's fucking weird.
Even you said it weird,
and you're the biggest cornal liquor on this show, Jan.
Okay.
Well, Theresa has been happier if Margaret said,
oh, by the way, I saw that video of Louis on the internet
with his men, and that was such a lovely sweet video.
What a great man.
Then Theresa was like, yeah, he's awesome.
Thanks for talking about the video, ninks.
Yeah.
Theresa, the problem is not that people
are talking about your boyfriend being abusive. The problem is that your boyfriend's abusive. Okay. Teresa, the problem is not that people are talking
about your boyfriend being abusive.
The problem is that your boyfriend's abusive.
Okay.
Allegedly.
Allegedly.
You know, we're very lazy.
Keep going back.
Go to the source.
So then they're like, Melissa, of course,
is like, where are we now?
Cause right now, we're friends divided.
Oh my God, go nag your daughter about something.
She's not doing right.
Dureker time of trauma. Seriously. So then, yeah, whatever. So they basically are like,
okay, it's time to get ready for our bike ride thing. So now they're getting ready. Bill
is stretching. He's like, mm, mm, mm, mm. And then, you know, there's just like, just random
stuff happening. The Gorgas are on the phone with Antonia Joe Gorka is specifically and she's like
I need son block. He's like what are you doing with the sun block? Why do you need some like I just need it dad
I'm all this is like what's wrong with her. Hey, she's a 16 year old girl. That's what's wrong girls
Am I right little girls huh?
Girls, huh? He's a cool you with I hear I hear someone over there. Who you with over there?
Who is, you better tell me who it is
cause I hear somebody over there.
You better tell me who it is.
And she's like, it's Noona.
And he's like, oh, all right.
You ain't fucking Noona, right?
All right, all right.
We can go now, we can go now.
Ain't nobody touching my daughter.
Yeah.
So then, anyway, they start, uh, they, they all head off
to this bicycle thing and they arrive.
It's a thing.
It says the sprocket rocket, but the Lord gets that goes,
sprocket, rocket.
I'm like, please have the Lord do all your marketing.
Come, Rod.
The sprocket rocket.
Hi, I'm Delores.
I have a reservation for 14.
For the sprocket rocket. I have a text message from my ex. He wants to know, does this fit in
the living room?
70 and housewives have such iconic lines that we just remember season after season.
I think mine is going to be sprocket rocket. Hi, I'm Dolores.
I have a reservation for 14.
On the sprocket rocket.
I just like the idea of like,
I mean, we know that like Bravo book this,
but I like to think of Dolores going through Yelp
being like, okay, activities in Nashville.
Let's see, there's bull riding, cowboy country music music. Oh, sp's see. There's bull riding cowboy country music music. Oh
Sprocket rocket rocket rocket rocket rocket rocket three Yelp stars. That's good enough. It's better than one
I'm calling them
Sprocket rocket. This is Dolores. I need reservations for 14
Hi sprocket rocket.
I'd like to know what are your safety protocols?
You don't have any great.
Great sounds great.
We're there.
So they get to sprocket rocket.
And I love Bill.
I feel like we don't really talk about this enough that I feel like Bill
tries so hard to bro it out.
But he never, for me, it never quite lands properly because he's like, that's enough that I feel like Bill tries so hard to bro it out,
but for me, it never quite lands properly,
because he's like, hey, let's go in the shade in the back, baby.
I'm like, he just always is adding baby onto things
and this attempt to be like a bro.
And I always feel like it's so awkward.
And I just want him to stop saying baby all the time.
Oh, they're great.
He cracks me up.
I mean, later he does this thing where he's leaning
on the countertop because the guys were always
leaning on the countertop.
Like, it broke and Bill does it, but with his palms flat
on the countertop and his elbows facing the other way.
And he's just like, preening up, just smiling.
Like, they're real on the rock.
That's like, yes.
I saw that too. He's like, it's real on the rock. I saw that too. So funny. They're going for a group
activity and he's like, mm, better stretch. This is a tour de France to those boys. They
have to compete over everything. Like, no, but A and one of them know what the two are the Francis, so.
I know, they're way already out of their real house.
No point.
And, so Bill is like, he's like,
mm, so let's get in the shade in the back, baby.
Mm, I love a shady part and I love a back part.
Mm-hmm.
Now, I don't want everybody to think
that I just hate every employee on TV like this.
I also hate employees in real life like this, okay?
I hate the waiters who act like this.
I hate anybody who acts like this and the over-enthusiasticism trying to get you into it
like a fucking warm-up comic at the beginning of a terrible talk show that you're getting
paid $50 to go see because you can't pay your electric bill.
Sorry, it's getting too personal.
But the guy's like, everybody, welcome to the box! $50 to go see because you can't pay your electric bill. Yeah. Sorry, it's getting too personal.
But the guy's like, everybody, welcome to the box.
OK, we're going to go on a body.
Yeah.
Here's what you do.
I was like, oh my god, shoot this fucking guy.
This guy embodies that part of Mama Mia, where they make you
stand up and sing for Ted Minnes at the end.
That is this guy encapsulated into a person.
He was awful.
And it was, his name is Drew, and there was a lady there named Alice, and Alice is like
the bartender who actually walks and serves the drinks on this contraption, but Drew is
like, he's like the captain leave it.
And he's like, hey, but I'm just Drew.
This is Alice in, everybody's had Alice in.
Everyone goes, hey, Alice in.
And I'm just like poor Allison that she has to sit,
she's like I'm just trying to pay my bills at Vanderbilt.
I just need to earn some cash.
God, I'm stuck with Drew the bike driver.
Yeah, cause Drew is that guy that someone's dad's
like now Drew, that's one of the boys
who's moving the management.
And you're like really?
But is that the goal?
Like, is that the goal really bad?
Like, do you want me to move up to management
for the multi-battling bike experience?
Like, is that what you want?
But your dad's like, but that truth got it going.
Look at the enthusiasm.
Can't you have some enthusiasm?
No, I'm a fucking busboy at Applebees.
I got called a bad Apple today for not, you know,
dusting the top of those terrible plastic lanterns
hanging from the ceiling, okay?
No, I don't wanna be an upper management at Applebees.
I think we all know Drew's real future
is that he's gonna be a deck hand on below deck
because you know it's gonna be like,
below deck season 14, and there'll be like episode four
and they're like, the crew, all the guests want the crew to dress up in mall,
it seems like actually, this is sort of my wheelhouse,
like before I was on in Yawding,
I actually used to pilot a 13 person bike in Nashville,
so fun is sort of my thing,
and I'll have a contriving, you know?
Cause like, is that like the most below deck backstory
of all time, this fucking bike?
And by the way,
It really is, and he'll be like,
I was a captain of a 14-pedalier bike.
Same.
I know.
I also feel so bad for the people of Nashville,
not this time, but like two times ago
when we went to Nashville,
we stayed in a hotel that was actually
like a block away from Haddie B's,
which is where they go next.
And I just remember I walked over there
and like five of these bikes went by
and it was all run by true.
They're all like, hey, if you see a red light, say red light, red light, red light. And I was like the poor people who live here walked over there and like five of these bikes went by and it was all run by true.
They're all like,
Hey, if you see a red light, say red light, red light, red light.
And I was like the poor people who live here
who just have to are just like, you know,
they're playing doodle jump or whatever.
And then all of a sudden they hear this like Drew
outside their window,
every red light, red light, red light.
I'm like,
people in Nashville deserve better than that noise
in the background, you know?
We all deserve better, you know? I suspect Drew might Nashville deserve better than that noise in the background, you know, we all deserve better
You know, I suspect Drew might even deserve better. I had you know evidence of that, but I'm in an empathetic mode today
So let's see. I just here's my note that I wrote down about it guy is too energetic
Now how I went how I got all that out of that I don't know, but the memory triggered me
I so then to loriss I was gonna say, there's also a game that they play,
which is that whenever they show up to a red light,
the whole group has to say,
one, two, three red light,
they all have to scream it and then they all drink,
which I was like, is this just because Drew
is a terrible driver and at this point,
he just needs people to tell him when there's a red light.
Like, how many intersections has he busted through
and having car accident those he caused.
He's like, I better call the credit game
so I know when to stop my bike.
Well, I mean, I just think as a kid from the 70s and the 80s,
I just miss drinking while you're driving games.
You know, those were so fun.
All right, kids, there's a red light.
So don't forget to yell red light,
round, round, round, round, round, round. But I say red light three times.
Is that something three times? You got it. You got it, guys.
So anyway, you're about to say something about Dolores before I
waited on that really matter. They're going to had a
things.
None of this matters. This is going to be a 19 hour recap of
talking about literally nothing. So they go to, so Teresa
comes, right? And Marge is, here's my problem with Marge.
The whole season, she's just,
she's got the right cards.
She's just kind of playing them all at the wrong time.
You know, she used this Teresa stuff right at the beginning
instead of kind of waiting for somebody else
to bring it up and her to say Teresa,
you know, maybe she's getting in front of it.
She used the gen stuff, she didn't,
she waited for Jen to come over
to kind of try to apologize,
which is the wrong time to victimize somebody.
Yeah.
And then with this, she's playing it too hard.
Like everybody can see Teresa was wrong,
but Marge is just walking around like,
I've not talked to Teresa.
I've had it, that is it, my friend is down.
And Teresa comes on acting all nice, like,
Hi!
Hi!
La, la, la, la, hi! hi, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, I think she thinks she's doing that because Teresa did just throw a bunch of drinks at her and did just fat chamber the night before. So I think Margaret thinks she's standing up to the
monster, but I kind of agree with you. I think the timing is not quite right. She sort of let
somehow Teresa is coming off as like the warmer, not more mature person, but she's like the
friendlier person in a weird way and Marge is coming off as the person who just can't get over
this issue. Yeah. When she pulls shit because Marge is coming off as a person just can't get over this this issue. Yeah.
Yeah. Because Marge is totally on the right.
Yes, Marge is in the right.
That's what makes me crazy.
I'm team Marge on it.
It's just how she's playing it like her timing of it is just not right.
Like she just talked to everybody and she knows that everybody is giving Teresa a pass.
So she decides to emphatically not give her a pass.
And then they she also knows that every little thing that Teresa does that looks like, and I'm sorry,
they're gonna take as giving Teresa,
you know, they're gonna give Teresa an award for it
and congratulate her.
So for Teresa to come and say hi, so friendlyly.
So friendlyly and loudly to Marge
and Marge being cold back is just the optics, the optics.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree.
I think you're right.
So they go biking around.
They go terrorize Nashville with a Jersey, Jersey bumps.
A they're like fist bumping and yelling red light
and all this stuff.
And then eventually, go jogor,
cause like, A, let's dip this thing.
Let's dip this thing.
I'm like, you realize if this 13 person
bicycle tips over in a little traffic,
some of you will wind up with several broken bones.
This is not a pool float.
That is so Jersey though, right?
It did be.
Let's fuck it up, all right?
Because they're laughing while they're riding the bike.
They're talking about how this was Jersey traffic would be like,
Hey, what the fuck you doing? Get the fuck out the road, you fucking moron.
Which is true. And because I was thinking in Texas, you would get shot. Like, we can't have these
because someone would come out with a gun and be like, you moved that fucking monstrosity of a
bicycle or you're gonna get it through the chest. And it would probably be legal. But Jersey, I think what they really do,
they would really do is tip it over.
Yeah, I think so.
So then they finally arrive at Hattie Bees
and they're like drunk and they're dancing around
and Jenna Melissa fall over and Jen's like,
don't you know I'm a faller.
And so we get a montage of Jenna
for falling over through the years,
which is always great.
I love Slopstick.
This is, you know, one thing I gotta credit
the Jersey cast for is they do not give a fuck
about looking like tourists, like wherever they go
and they've got such pride about where they're from.
No matter where they go, they shame the other people
for not being where they're from.
They're like, oh, this is how you do it here.
And so like they'd go on a European trip.
Well, they did, you know, they were kind of like that.
Like, well, one thing to string you during my hand, I'm stupid.
Everyone knows it's the left side.
No, no, Treesauk, actually, it's the right side.
Uh, not for the cause coming the other way, you know, like idiots,
but they walk into spicy hot chicken place
and they're like, oh yeah, you got a spicy?
No, I like it really spicy.
I'm Italian.
My mom made, adabiata, that's what we call it in Italy, all right?
So you can do that?
You think I'm afraid of you?
I know spicy.
You don't know spicy.
It's like Jesus Christ,
would you eat the local fucking chicken
without shaming it?
Also, no disrespect to your mom and her cooking,
but I'm sure that the red pepper flakes
that she included in her era behada
are not gonna be quite as hot
as the full jar of cayenne pepper
that's going on to your natural hot chicken, okay?
And you know that the place is used to tourists,
like it's in a tourist area.
And you know that they're used to these fucking people
coming in like, oh really spicy?
Oh yeah, I'm from wherever.
Show me your spiciest.
And they just smirter them with the spices.
What's it like?
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
I was like, God, you know how I'm,
this probably happens every day multiple times a day.
Like, give me your spiciest one.
I wanna see what that's like, you know?
So I'm already feeling so bad for this poor waitress.
It has to be like, the spiciest thing is the shut the clock up.
Hey, that's funny.
Shut the clock up.
And let's get famed in, okay?
Yes, of course.
Here's your shut the clock's up. Commissions, here comes one right now.
And just like Phil said,
they're gonna make a competition out of it.
So the guys are gonna eat the spiciest thing
and see who can withstand it the longest
and feel like, mm, I can.
By the way, there was also a weird,
when they were talking about this,
doing this competition, there was like this weird moment
where Louis says to Teresa, like,
you want the, hey, three, you want the hot chicken?
And then Melissa turns to Joe and goes,
well, you get the fucking hottest chicken every night.
And then Louis goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I'm like, wait, I'm confused about several things.
Is Melissa calling her Lady Parts a chicken right now,
like a hot chicken?
That's me.
And is Louie thinking that,
what is Louie laughing at now also, by the way?
Because they say like, chick, you got your chick, right?
So she's like, you got the hottest chickie you know, like the hottest chickie here, whatever. So she's calling herself the hottest.
I thought she was talking about it. Well, Louis is doing, I don't know. Well, like I, I
didn't think, you know, just as someone who doesn't eat chicken, I see it. I'm like, this
is so much like chicken death, like this whole episode. Then the next scene, they're like,
we want some chicken lollipops and they're just like,
it just looks like big, impaled chickens.
Like it's just horrible.
And on this, but on this one, I'm like,
Ronnie, people eat chicken, like shut the fuck up.
You haven't had chicken for like three years
and all of a sudden you're saying, like shut up,
you hypocrite.
But I was watching this and I was like,
I'm not really worried about the chicken except around Louie
because Louie would strangle the chicken. Charlie around Louis because Louis would strangle the chicken.
Tell me, Louis is a strangle, I see it.
I think that's why he's always purple.
I think that's his karma for whatever strangling he's done.
Like, he just is very like purple and like,
ooh, he's very strangle ready, you know?
Like, he is like,
or very strangled, you know what I mean?
Like, he seems like his like his the blood
And a chance of his face a strangling. Yeah, it's like a massage ring, but with strangling instead
We'll try it. We'll try it. Yeah, we'll try people in do we'll try it. Yeah, right
So yeah, so anyway, it's time for them to have their spicy chicken et cetera and
So yeah, apparently Bill just loves spicy.
I actually thought this was cool
because Bill loves spicy food so much.
And Jennifer loves bragging about how much
he loves spicy food.
Oh, really, anything spicy.
He takes the wasabi and just puts all of it in.
So she loves it.
He loves the spiciness.
It's like the most proud she's ever been of him before
in her life.
I know what everybody should do when their been is outed for having a long time
affair. My husband can swat at the best.
It's like, okay. All right. You know, that's the, that's the track you're going to go on.
I support it. So then, uh, yeah. So, so now it's time, it's time basically, well,
though, it's not. They're just announced announcing they're having this, this chicken thing.
But meanwhile, molasses like telling Teresa like, Teresa, we need you to behave today.
Okay, we need to have a fun lunch, which is Teresa, which is also molasses way of agitating
Teresa to get her to not have a fun lunch.
Yes, exactly.
Because Melissa knows she doesn't have a goddamn story in line.
She hasn't figured out yet that they've completely cut
Antonio's sweet 16 party out of the show
But she knows that she's always called the boring one because she makes Instagram posts like oh really?
I think it's boring. It's in happiness and fun times
So she knows that she's considered the boring one so she's at least got to instigate you know what she does
She's like please don't talk to Marge and she's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm going to
talk to her now.
I'm going to talk to her right now.
No, please let us have fun.
I'm going to talk to her.
And they're at the table right next to Marge's table, right?
So Marge hears this and she's just fanning herself rolling her eyes like, oh my God, please,
just let me get through the bun of the chicken. That's all I've recrusted. It was ridiculous. Somehow I got bun in my teeth.
So Margaret's like, so she comes over, she, Drisa comes over, says next to her, and goes,
so like, can we talk? Can we talk? And she's like, you know what, now I don't think it's an
appropriate time, okay? You know, your brother's about to shit a thousand shits out of his butt
from this chicken
So I just want to watch that friend name it okay
She's like do we really need to ruin another meal? I think oh yeah, you've been talking about Louis from us now
Hey, you know what that hurts my feelings cuz you know I thought we was friends
You know what 10 oh yeah, no they're right yeah now
We was friends You know what 10 oh yeah, no they're right. Yeah, no
Well this to me isn't about Louie. It's been so very large
Conversation and I don't think now is an appropriate time and she's like well, I do it. Wait. I want you
I'm 49 years old. I do what I want you when I'm 49 years old
So like to me to me to just wait stop, cause you're getting yourself worked up now.
I'm like, ah, I talked with my two of them.
And she's like, I want you to understand, all right?
And she was like, later, later, this chicken,
the spicy chicken, come on,
the hot chicken spicy, they said it's real spicy.
Come on.
It's like, my Zarya Arabiada, come on.
And she's like, no, good,ada. Come on, it's like,
no, go get a butter in me.
The whole trip were not fun.
It was not fun.
I'm like, that's because you made it not fun, Teresa.
I know.
I love that they talked to Teresa,
like she's five, two, it cracks me up.
They're like, no, come on, Teresa,
but they're spicy chicken.
Aren't you excited to see how spicy the chicken is?
Call it spicy chicken. Look't you excited to see how spicy the chicken is called spicy chicken?
Think it for like a lollipop the chicken lollipop
Traces over their coloring a menu, you know like
Why it's good 45 minutes. He still hasn't made a way out of that maze on the place mats crazy. Oh
And of course, Jen's like, that was nice.
That was the last of you, Teresa.
It was nice.
I took the initiative to come over and talk.
And so Margaret's like, what's always on her tips.
And now I don't think it was nice.
So then, yeah, I've forgiven her very quickly with things.
You know, like with the hair poles with Danielle, I'm just very quick to forgive.
And this time it's going to take at least three dinners.
Okay, so we measure things in New Jersey.
So she tells us that she always had a soft spot for tree because her mom had just died.
And like we've mentioned many times on the show, Teresa is constantly going through something
on this show.
And it's not like it's fake stuff, it's real stuff.
But it's like, you never can really go against Teresa because she's got something completely traumatic going on, right?
And Marj is like, you know, it's always a trauma and like, I'm always there for her and I have this sauce spot for her.
Also, she's the star of the show that I want to be on. So yeah, let's not leave that out. And Marj is like,
but you know, she's trying to think about talking. And that
means that there's been progress. Look, she found the word potato in the word scramble.
That's progress, baby. It's not even spelled right. She is she put
you brought you to that's not a potato. Like why are you protected? She found the word
potato. She didn't. She didn't. She did. She's trying.
Hey, look, she reset. They brought you a free glass of milk.
Cause she won.
No, that's what I ordered it in.
Like she didn't even circle the letters.
She's just circling the table.
That's a crumb. She circled the crumb.
Crumbs do not count in a red scramble.
She circled the maze.
And then she just put X's all over the number I love it the letters in the words
scrambled she will even teach the children's menu right all right
Oh look now Joe go against circling crumbs also what's wrong with the
You got crumbs you should see the quants we got in Jersey. You think this is bad, huh?
Look at that.
Hey, look, I made it dick.
I made it dick.
It's a dick.
It's a dick.
Amazingly, that dick does circle the letters,
P-O-T-A-T-O, so I guess it qualifies.
What came first to chicken the G- I don't even know what this one
So chicken chickens the chicken guides so that the hot chicken arrives and
They just are
They just start like you know they start bill starts dipping his fries in it just to sort of test out the spice
Now I don't know I don't know if you've ever done one of these spicy things spicy challenges.
I did it once. I did it something like this once I was insane. I would pay to see you. Oh, do a hot things challenge. I would pay to see your
things challenge. Can we just call that hot ban and the hot things challenge. So I was up in San Luis Obispo about like eight or nine years ago.
And there was a group trip and we're at a restaurant
and the restaurant had like a spicy burger
and they said if you can finish the spicy burger,
you get like a t-shirt.
And so I asked the waitress, I was like,
how spicy is this burger?
I said, how many people finish the burger?
And she goes, about 50%.
I was like, that's actually pretty good odds
for like a spicy.
You would think for like a spicy challenge,
the odds are like, I've seen three people do it, you know?
But she was like half a people can do it.
So I was like, I wanna free-teacher it.
I love spicy food.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
So the burger comes and my whole strategy was,
I wanna take like as many bites as quickly as
possible so that way before the spice really hits. So I take like on the
second bite the heat is so overwhelming. I'm like oh my god because there was
like ghost pepper this man they put spice in the first disaster and it was so
hot and then people in my everyone in the group everyone was so hot. And then people in my, everyone in the group,
everyone was so curious that everyone started taking bites also.
And they were like, one girl took a bite and went,
ran to the bathroom to throw up immediately.
And the whole night was crazy.
And the point of the story is that,
take those spicy challenges seriously
because they fuck you up.
Like, you, it was painful.
Yeah, they fuck you up.
It was painful.
And then the worst part was that like when I went home,
I felt myself digesting.
You could feel it so hot, you feel it going
like at different parts of your body.
Like you know how far along you are in the digestion process,
which is cool, but also disgusting.
And right, in a scientific way, it's cool, but.
Yeah, like it's sort of cool to have like a little tracker in there
It's like baby, baby, but I'm telling you people
Don't do these spicy challenges. It wasn't worth it
And I didn't even get the teacher at the end. I did manage to sort of like finish it
I'll be it with help from other people and they're like you have to finish your fries to which had ghost pepper on them
And I was like, you know what fuck this teacher? I just didn't even win
Got nothing out of it. Yeah, and that's like you know
It's like Melissa says later like that was a dumb competition
because you don't even win a good prize.
Like why are you putting yourself through that?
And that's how I feel about like you want to t-shirt
that says wow, I won the spice,
I'll like, I'll swallow anything competition.
Like you don't need to be wearing that around anywhere, really.
Because I feel like it doesn't make you look good
when you wear that out.
People are like, wow, you won the eating contest.
Yeah, wow.
Yeah, for you.
It's like wearing a t-shirt that says,
want to kill a two to kill a three to kill a floor.
It's like, where are you really going to wear that anywhere?
Are you really going to wear it?
I think the best t-shirt and the t-shirt that will always
remain in my heart is I'm with stupid with an arrow
pointing to your right.
I love that. That's a classic. Okay. So T-shirt to side. So the guys are doing this contest and Bill,
you know, is still trying to bro out in the bill way where he's like, no, this is some spicy shit.
Like, Curses with perfect diction, like, it just doesn doesn't fit but it's so fucking funny and
He's probably the calmest through the whole thing because the other guys are almost immediately
I'm in Benino. We're like we're not doing this. Evan's like I'm too rich for this and Benino's like
Then I'm moving by the way, it's like why yeah, Louis also is trying to bro out
Louis now like Bill is trying to bro out in one way But Louis tries to bro out in another way and he would like obviously can he takes one bite and he's like why yeah, Louis also is trying to bro out louis now like bills trying to Brow in one way, but Louis tries to bread in another way and he'd like obviously can't he takes one bite and he's like
And Dolores goes don't do it Lou don't do it. Don't do it
He was out like in one second
Yeah
So it basically and Frank Frank did what I did the last time I did this,
because I worked at a Moroccan place,
and they would make, Chef is so good there,
and he would make fresh harissa, homemade harissa,
which is Thai chili, it's a lot of chilies,
but it's mostly red Thai chili.
It's like a sauce that they make, right?
Yum.
And when I first started working there,
they're like, oh, ha, taste this chili, taste this chili.
And I was like, you guys done from El Paso, Texas, I'm okay, I know started working there, they're like, Oh, ha, tastes this chili, tastes this chili. And I was like, you guys don't from El Paso, Texas,
I'm kind of, I know, my chili.
You know, I've had one of those attitudes.
So they did that to me.
They're like, oh, really?
Here, taste it.
You think you can eat this little tiny piece
of this red pepper, and I'm like, sure.
I started crying.
Okay, now, like, actually, like tears just started coming out,
sweating, and then it hurt so bad,
and they had handed it to me like in my finger.
So like I took it.
And then I started crying.
And then I wiped my eye with my finger,
which just had the chili on it.
So then I was sobbing and my eye blew up like this.
Like it was very cyclopsy.
And I was just, I will never do it again.
And I pooped out fire.
I swear to you, from a little tiny bite of chili.
It never left. It was still sometimes I think, I think that chili was there from like 12
years ago. I think it's still there. It's still, it's something's never leave you. It took
a lot of parts. Yeah. Like when you do ecstasy or LSD or something, it stays in your fat
because it's so, um, absorb and it stays in your fat because it's so
absorbent that stays in your fat. And so sometimes you'll just be having a normal day and you'll get high all this said,
I'm like, well, bro, want to make out with the checkout lady.
What is going on here? And it's like goes away soon because it
stayed in your fat. Still there somewhere somewhere.
Well, Frank is also having like a meltdown and he has a look
on his face like, he looks like he's
sort of getting a blowjob. He's like, wow, like stuff is like falling out of his mouth. It's like his mouth
isn't fully open, but it's open enough that things are like just like teetering.
Yeah, he's a mess. He's leaking and then Joe Gorgas leaking from everywhere spit just starts falling out of his mouth
You know, because he can't even feel his mouth anymore
So funny, so then everyone's like have fun pooping later
Yeah, seriously, I'm just like we're gonna be having burnt assos
So then back at the house
Tiki is there, but he's not doing anything because he's like, I guess working from the vacation house.
Yeah.
And I was sad we didn't get a shot of Tiki like sitting
at the vacation, reading his book.
I was really looking forward to it.
There was like a shot where Margaret and Joe were on
like the porch swing and I was like, wow, Tiki must be furious.
Like, that's his wing.
You guys stole Tiki's setup.
Yeah. But they all come home and they're like,
Tiki, you missed a good time, bro.
We had a contest, all right?
All right, we tied.
Me and Bill tied.
We tied the contest, you know?
This guy looks like he put a dick in an electric socket, all right?
And Tiki's like, that's gonna feel real good
when it's coming back out later.
A Tiki barber.
He's like an I dress business casual for the occasion. So they basically are like back and now everyone's going to basically take naps.
They just frank, because on his bed like, oh my God, the law.
I'm gonna throw up.
I'm gonna throw up.
Oh my God, the law.
I'm just happy that the Jinshilla did not have to be there for this
So it's getting ready scene you know, we have to have 20,000 getting ready scenes in the self-asset. This is like our third
So they do that and did you notice Jackie came down in the dress from that she word of the crappies. I was like, well, I'm honored. Wow.
I wanted to make it to the hot spicy chicken episode.
Thank you.
Wow, Ronnie Eagle Art.
Wow, that's, I mean, I have to go back and look at that.
Well, it was beautiful.
I'm a gay guy, but I'm still like a pig
when it comes to, like I see a pretty girl
and I'm like, oh my God, you look so hot.
Like I can't stop my, it's like harassment, right? And then when I say it, I'm like, oh my god, you look so hot. Like I can't stop my, it's like harassment, right?
And then when I say it, I'm like, you shouldn't,
even if you're gay, you shouldn't be like, oh my god.
Like, I was shot, I mean, I wasn't shot.
I don't know, meeting people in real life is always different,
but I was like, you're so beautiful.
It's allowed, you're allowed to say someone's beautiful.
It's okay.
She was beautiful.
I feel like a harasser, and I try not to look at boobs.
I know somebody who got a boob job in front recently
and they were probably like,
did you even notice I got my boobs done?
And I was like, I don't look at your boobs.
Like what am I a monster?
I'm not gonna sit here and stare at your boobs all the time.
I will say boobs aside.
I will say that like my experience has been
anytime that we've met a real housewife,
they've been like kind of knockout gorgeous in person like across the board. Like has there ever been one where you thought
Meh, like they've all been like no, they're all there are also much more like
Charismatic to than I think you know like you can really see why they're on TV usually.
Why are we, nobody's even listening to this episode.
Come on, right?
I think they quit like 30 minutes ago.
This is one where I'm like,
I think we've all seen entirety of this.
But let's just talk about what people in real life were.
Surely everyone's day to do my fascinating story
about the time I had a spicy burger, right?
That was only like 30 minutes.
I was just a little bit of a story about me eating something.
Rain of fire.
So Teresa,
little Johnny Cash,
chilly, chilly competition song.
I think finger hurts.
Mm.
Alright, that's what we're at.
My finger is.
My finger hurts.
My finger hurts.
My finger.
My middle finger.
My finger.
My finger hurts.
Okay, so everyone's talking, Frank is basically like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
my stomach hurts.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Dua! Dua! Ah, the semiconductors! Dua! Dua! My dynamic!
Ah, Dua!
And, uh...
And this is why Mark, uh, Dolores will always keep her job,
because she always brings it back around to whatever the plot is.
She's like, you know what my semiconductors from?
The drama that happens earlier.
Thank you.
Of course, I'm talking about...
Died up. Died up.
I'm, of course, I'm talking about the drama when it turns out that sprocket rocket did not take Venmo
Wow
The way that Frank roughed up drew against that brick wall behind had he bees it was drama
So Teresa is going off to Louie. She's saying I don't care that I was doing that in front of everyone because I'm gonna bring it up
Because it's a love bubble and tonight I'm gonna make it clear that we're not love bubble
And he no one's popping a love bubble
I'm a wing and he's like
The more they say love bubble the more I think of in Super Mario brothers when like when you die and Mario comes back in a bubble in the new one
Just yeah, that's just like to do he just floating along and Super Mario
Yeah, so so then Marge is like well, I can't believe treats is doing this and we're gonna get in the new one. That's just like, you're just floating along and it's mario. Yeah.
So then Marge is like, well, I can't believe Trees is doing this and we're gonna get dinner
and she's gonna try it again and guess what?
Game on.
So Melissa, they all, guess what?
Time to gather around the kitchen island again.
I mean, was this episode produced by Cynthia Bailey?
What's going on here?
They all gather.
Melissa is wearing basically a Mackenzie child's skirt. It's just a black
and white checkerboard skirt, which, you know, you know, Kyle was watching somewhere,
being like, oh my God, it's my foyer. So then Joe Gorgia announces that he threw up.
And then we get a flashback of him trying to throw up. And he's like, he's struggling
at the toilet because his fingers aren't long enough so that way he can puke.
So Frank's, hold on, I said, I got something for you.
Any hands in the dick, like the severed dick.
And you're like, ha ha ha, but then Gorker goes,
I didn't even think one second,
I put it right down there.
I was like, whoa.
Yeah, and I thought his terminology was so funny
because he's like, yeah, I put that dick right down my throat
because you know, I had to get rid of the poison.
Well, you know, he calls sperm poison.
Yeah.
That's his whole thing.
Like, I gotta take care of myself
because I gotta get rid of the poison.
And now he is shoving dick down the start
to get rid of the poison.
I mean, full circle dick moment for Joe Gorka.
Well, no, well, that's the season.
And failure that they did not capture
this on camera. That was a failure. So, or they at least they did show it. Oh, well, the actual
dick part they did. Yeah. Yeah. So now they're now on, they're back in the party vans and they
go to they're going to go to a swankier rooftop and Are they at the rooftop or are they having a conversation in the van?
I can't quite tell from my notes the specifics
They go to the what's that they go to the rooftop. Yeah, they just go because this was a lot of like now
They're now they're gathered in the kitchen now. They're going to the van now. They're splitting and going a different band
Yeah, now they're at a restaurant now they're in the restaurant now they're on and going in different man. Yeah. Now they're at a restaurant. Now they're in the restaurant.
Now they're on the rooftop of the restaurant.
Yeah, there were a lot of moments where it seemed like something was going to happen.
But now it was like, hello, rooftop.
Yeah.
I have a reservation for 14.
It's something.
My name is Dolores.
It may have been, the reservation may have been made under the name Sprocket, Rocket.
You should check. So she makes it cheers and they're all talking about how much fun they had and
it's a girls and boys situation the girls are over at one table and the boys are at another
table and they're talking about like oh my god you're gonna talk to tree Margaret and
she's saying I don't know like how much can you say? And Jennifer's like,
but she was not here today.
How many when that night's when she said hello?
Why?
Wasn't it nice when she followed up a little man here
and turned it into a fortune teller thing, you know?
Wasn't that nice of her?
She's like, and Tracy's like,
I don't wanna celebrate her being a good human being.
I'm like, thanks, Tracy.
Thanks for weighing in today.
We do lots of contributions.
Yeah, but at least it was a good point.
Like she doesn't get points for like being nice once, you know.
And so Jen's like,
but why?
I may thought they have awards that you give children
just to incentivize them.
And Jack is like, I don't want to treat Teresa like she's a child.
I have enough children that have to treat like children as it is. Okay.
So Margaret's like, you know, the problem is you girls have lowered your standards for her. Okay. You really have lowered your standards.
Delores is like, I don't think I've lowered my standards whatsoever. But that being said, I did buy this little dog bowl for her.
I'm just going to put it at the side of this table for once she gets here, okay?
I mean, even though we stand as for her, de laurice, I mean, you said she was like a dog
from a shelter, okay?
Not even a more butt dog.
Okay, that's ridiculous.
And she's like, listen, I don't expect from somebody what I would do for them.
Okay.
And she's like, oh yeah, and then after that hair pulse, she said she's gonna show me how much she loves me. Oh really? Is that how you show me by throwing an entire
table into all of my outfit? Yeah, and then last night she body shaped me. Okay. And
then Jen says, well, I had to say something to you that was mean, you know. And Mark was
like, well, you should have said something. You should have said something to defend me.
Okay. Just like, I just want everyone to become for a second, okay?
Just everyone become here.
Look, I got a sippy cup for Teresa.
And let's wait, can we get a boost to chair?
Can we get a boost to chair for my baby?
Huh?
I love that Jen doesn't even hide it.
She's like, but I didn't want to make her mad.
Like, we're a scared of Teresa.
Are you new to this show?
We don't want to scare Teresa. So then of course Teresa gives her, you know, Jill Zarian, walk in.
Yeah, she's all, hi!
And so, Louis is wearing a blazer that has like glitter down, like a center stripe of glitter down the back,
which is just like, so.
He's wearing his Nashville Contrasta jacket.
It was like Nash Jersey at that moment.
And that's Jersey.
Yes, and then Margaret.
And then they're separating to go to the boys
and girls table and they have to like kiss each other.
It's like, I'm not mancy.
Uncle miss you too.
Like miss you.
Call me.
I'm looking at the text to me, all right.
And since you know Margaret's mad at her,
Margaret does the thing that she does
when someone who she's mad at walks in,
she's like, I'm gonna suck on a very long straw.
Just stick to her mouth and just stare.
With my mullies, with my mullies. It's like put the straw all the way in the back of her mouth and just stare. With my mola is, with my mola is.
It's like put the straw all the way in the back of her mouth.
It's like she's at the dentist.
So, Louis pulls Joe aside for this scene.
So he's like, Joe, can we talk?
Listen, I just wanted to take this moment
and thank you for being so genuine with me, you know.
Because like you helped me give me a fair shake.
You know what, the girls is different
because you know there's been so much judgment about my past, right?
The past that you like lie about right to their faces, even though there's a video proof
proving that you're fucking lying, you weirdo. Yeah, exactly. So it's like, yeah, the only
judgment I want is from that girl right over there. Did you see what she'd, I'd never
seen scared, some of scared awards scramble like she'd by the time I looked at that kids menu,
they want any more letters on the page. All right, now that's my wife.
Listen, I'm gonna ask a man ask I'm gonna come I'm gonna take it to Europe next
next month. I did I'm gonna propose to and Gorka's like really? Yeah, I want to
respect you like you're her dad and I want to ask you for
her blessing listen I'm sick of people treating your lectures to a little girl
but that being said do you mind if I take your daughter out to an ice cream huh
and he's like you know what I'm glad you're telling me that you know because like
the miannings like at first so it's like I really like this guy you know but then
the stories they just this is like more and more stories
Just kept coming, you know, and if there's only like one Instagram proving they use store simple foreign
Afters of house you never even owned, you know the promotional business. That's one thing
But if it happens multiple times, that's one this trouble, right? Yeah
Exactly. She's like, you know, I haven't I haven't asked you anything because when I did get involved with her ex,
it was problems, okay?
Cause she's my only sister and she'd been to hell and back,
sort of like my stomach today
before I gave a blowjob to a seventh penis.
And Louis said, well, you know, like, look,
oh, cause Joe's like, all right, so I gotta ask you, what's up with the past, bro? And he's like, well, you know, like look, oh, because Joe's like, all right. So I got to ask you what's up with the past, bro?
And he's like, well, look, I gotta tell you, bro, you know, like I got the voice at 35.
And I was confused.
So I had some toxic relationships, you know, like, you know, dirty,
thirsty, low life slut exes, all right?
That's what happened.
Oh, okay.
That makes sense.
Oh, you sound really respectful of women. Yeah, take her away. Take her away, Louis
Yeah, sounds great. Seriously actually added slutty, but he's didn't say all the other things. Yeah, he might as well
He's like, hey, I mean you could have been in a toxic relationship, but they're constantly coming right just like this one down here
I'll point to they're constantly coming right just like this one down here I'll put onto my penis constantly coming and and and
and very
very
so the ladies are watching and of course gossiping the whole time Jackie's like oh my
god look at look at him he's being quiet that's not good there's some quiet over there
I'm just like you know what I think happens is that we just get very anxious when you
ask him questions you know what I mean that's Louis just gets very anxious when you ask him questions.
You know what I mean?
That's why he can only vouch a jeopardy because they only give you answers.
Okay, you have to make up whatever question you want in response.
I can't even imagine Louis on jeopardy.
What is the color purple?
I don't know.
I'll take bitches who lie about me just to make me look back
because they didn't want me to be happy for 500 Alex, right?
So, um, Jackie's like, I don't like the narrative that girls in this
passage is crazy bitches, which I agree with.
And then, uh, Mark was like, you know what, there's her side, there's his side, there's
the truth, and then there's the cilantro in my teeth. Okay, that's what I'm saying.
The third side, there's his side, and there's me covering it in the table of food because
somebody cannot control themselves. Okay. So Luis, Dolores is just nodding like you're
very right girls, which I'm not going to admit
at all when I kiss Teresa's ass for the rest of this episode, so go carry on.
So then, Louie, go back to Louie and he's like, listen, I'm not going to say I'm like
this ground of a man, okay?
You know what?
I mean, mistakes, but you know, I'm trying to be better now and I met your sister and
my life changed, okay?
Hold on, hold on a second I look up crying bro okay look you know that I have these nights like sniffing
like he smells something coming down the block is so it gets me every time I'm
like what does he smell like what is he sensing you know like maybe he's got
some super power but he's like I stay at night and I've been visualizing this girl.
And she, she came.
I'm like, you visualized Teresa.
That wasn't you visualizing.
That was you watching Bravo.
Fuck her, okay.
I just feel bad for anyone who is like trying to manifest
a wife and they to reset you to ISIS, what they get.
I don't know.
So like, I mean, that you end up with Teresa and that you're happy
that's okay, but that was your goal. I mean, it's like such a weird goal. I mean, it takes me back to the, you know, the pedaling
guide just wanting to move up to management. So, Gorgas, like, hey, I appreciate that. You know, if you ask me for a hand, then absolutely get the saw. I'll chop it right off for you.
So let's see here. Joe's like, wow, you know, we asked me that's respect. So yeah, do it. Maria.
So then Frank's like, you know what I think he's asking? We can marry Grisha. That's what he's asking.
And everyone's like, maybe he's asking for a hand job.
He's asking and everyone's like maybe he's asking for a hand job
Hey come see us in a lay out city, huh? So now
So now that that Louie and and Joe rejoin the guys and everything at this point the
enormous chicken lollipops have arrived. It's literally like a rotisserie on its side and
Trisha's like hey babe. You like chicken, huh? You like chicken. And Margaret is, she's like, oh god, Bill, you poor thing. Cause at this point, apparently Bill has started to go into decline over the spiciness.
Like he's been very chill, but now he's like, now something's bad.
Because Margaret's like, oh, you poor thing.
You put the, first of all, your, your peak at and green.
Okay, you can unbutton the top button.
Okay, that's better.
Okay, not all the way down, Bill.
Okay, Joe, go again. I do not say take off your pants.
What's wrong with the men all over here?
Joe, put on your seat thumb shirt.
Why is Joe Gorgon swallowing a rubber dick right now?
Can somebody tell me?
I never told him to do that.
Does Joe Gorgon know that it was chicken lollipop
and not a dick?
Okay, just checking.
So Joe and Melissa come to check on Louis and Trey.
And Louis is like, we talked about the past a bit
Alright, that's what we talked about and Trey's like, yeah, I know you guys like I feel bad for him cuz like he's been through stuff
And then like Margaret's bringing light to it and
Melissa's like, I don't think she met bad for you guys. She's right over there. Why don't you go talk about it?
What do you go right now?
Go talk and definitely don't make a scene
and definitely don't throw chicken lollipops
all over this rooftop, okay?
And don't do anything that would keep me on this show
even though I've done nothing for years and years,
on top of years.
Yeah, so Teresa goes up to Margaret and she's like,
can we talk?
Which I thought was so rude
if her to pull Joan River's famous line in front talk? Which I thought was so rude if I had to pull Joan Rivers' famous line
in front of Margaret.
Like that was a power move by Teresa.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
And Margaret.
Can we talk?
Margaret's like, okay.
So Margaret's like, you know what?
All right, you asked me like Joan would have asked me.
So yes, yes, we can talk.
Sure, sure.
So they go over.
Now this surprised me this scene
because Teresa's a dumb dumb,
but she's actually so smart.
Like you can see, and she's so house-wise smart.
Like you can see how she's been on this show
because she knows exactly how to play this.
She doesn't come over.
It seems like when she starts a big fight,
it's in front of everybody.
It's performative.
It's like, look everybody, I'm sick of this shit,
and I'm telling her off in front of everybody,
but she really hasn't had to sit down with Marge, right?
And A, she respects Marge enough to not try this shit
one-on-one, because she knows it's not gonna fly.
So she's trying to kind of behave herself,
but she also knows how to just make herself
the victim in it, because even I was like,
okay, I'm on Teresa's side now, I see,
because she's like, I want it, it was me who was like, okay, I'm on Teresa's side now I see. Cause she's like, I want it was me with a blanket.
Cause I'm, I have my feelings.
And then she starts crying.
And I'm like, oh my God, she is, she knows what she is doing.
This is why the woman keeps her job, you know, handed to her.
Yeah, for sure.
And so Margaret's like, look, as soon as I saw the shit that was at
that point, Louis, I came to it.
You put it in.
And I was like Teresa, you got to get ahead of this. Okay. at that liui I came to it your party and I was like
Teresa you gotta get ahead of this okay you know me I want to get ahead of everything the day you
met me I said looks nice like my contractor I cheated on my husband I love ice coffee I got
snickers cream in my purse and honestly I'm about to get sued by a whale okay I put it all out there
and Teresa's like yeah but I didn't want this stuff out there. You get it?
Like the video, the blogs and she's like, but unfortunately it's fucking out there. Everybody
had seen it already Teresa. And she's like, yeah, but my friends talking about it does make
a light of it, which Teresa is just obsessed with saying's with the word light. I know. I'm
saying, like, you mad that she's making a light of it or bringing light to it. What is it? You know,
I need the light version of it. Like, maybe some of it, but just make it lighter. You know, like you mad that she's making a lot of it or bringing like to it. What is it? You know, I need the live version of it.
Like maybe some of it, but it's making it lighter.
You know what I mean?
Like the dying cold version of the story is.
And Mark was like, you know what?
Pretending it never happened.
That's giving it light.
Okay.
You know what you could have said?
I was in the bathroom, bad relationships, but I'm working on it.
And I have a great girl right now.
Teresa, are you listening?
Are you back?
You're doing another with scramble aren't you? Okay, cuz someone clear these menus out of here at the very distracting
And Teresa's like, but that is what he's doing and yes today the season finale
He finally showed up with this line
Which is actually taking Marge's advice, which is fine. It's so weird. The show is so weird
So he finally did take that tactic tonight
Which was good. I mean, he should
have done that the first day and not acted like such a fucking asshole about it. So she,
trees, she's like, no, no, he didn't say that. He said, this woman tried to stab her
ex with the butcher knife. That's what he said. And she's like, yeah, I mean, you gotta
see him from my views. I mean, I just, I see this stuff on social media. There's like
one thing after we're not after a not a, we've been I see this stuff on social media. There's like one thing after Renata, after Renata,
and we've been dealing with this for like a year now.
And it's sad, like, I'm not a grown-up.
I'm not a grown-up.
I think it binds with what I like, and then this happens.
Maybe this stuff always happens when you find somebody
like, because you're choosing the wrong people.
So Margaret's like,
Did you choose fucking criminals, dude?
That's what you like, you know?
Yeah. And Margaret's like, listen to me, I can understand that, but you would never
transparent about that. Okay, sorry, too many syllables. Okay. Let me think. You would never,
you never use, you know, say word at you don't see you hide words hide background not open.
Ah, ah, ah.
Teresa just knows she's gonna argue if whatever.
So she's like, look Teresa, I get it,
but you were just never transparent.
And you just kept pretending you didn't know
what we were talking about.
And she's like, yeah, because that was on the defense.
And I was like, this is one of the best Teresa seems ever.
Like she's just kind of talking it through, not throwing anything. And I feel like I'm brainmashed by this show,
because it's like one time Teresa has a decent conversation. And I'm like, she should win an Oscar.
I know.
Like Teresa from President, she wins.
Margaret's like, why would you ever think I would ever hurt you?
And Liri just acting feels sincere.
Dead end just of course it's sincere. But like the way you approached me and like when I first met you
I like fell in love with you and then we cried over my mom and then like you came from a loving place
and like that's the matter that I know And then the mark this Margaret is like a
bitch who eats food all the time. If she sees food, he's food all
behind my back. She eats food behind my back. Like don't put food
on my backpack because you're eating the food out of the backpack
behind my back.
Leave us a mole, jiggly ass. Like it was going so well. And then
it takes a turn, right? So Teresa's like, well, my my real
friends, Dolores and Jennifer,
they know me, they know what takes me off
and what they kiss your ass
because they don't wanna see you,
lose your fucking mind and try and murder somebody, Teresa.
And Marge is like, no, no, they even said they lowered
their standards for you.
And they say you gotta treat Teresa different
because Louis is her lifeline,
which nothing was really that bad that Marge just said,
but Teresa doesn't
seem to comprehend it because she starts doing her.
Who, who, who thinks, who thinks like she can't finish the sentence.
It's just who thinks something bad.
Let me tell you something.
It was everybody.
Okay.
And not just these women, Serena from 10 of fly, Rosanna, I thought Rosanna, Jody one, two,
and three.
I mean, even my dog, Marl even my dog my lady. Oh my goodness
Oh Sue Simmons on the local news. She said it too. I'm it's everywhere to
And she's like you know and I said I'm gonna hold your account about I'm not putting up with the shit
And she's well, I don't want to train you like shit
She's but you do you call me trap mouth you rip my parents then you mad
I won't wait your workout stuff and then you say my ass is wiggling and then last night you call me fat and she's like I wasn't fair
She ain't in you. I was just that explaining
You said I never missed a meal. She's like I didn't dinner the night before because of what happened
You know, she's you called me white trash. You call me a fucking whore
You called me a cut fitness. you spelled an entire table on me
You treat me like fucking dirt and now oh god, and now you're trying to stick a chicken lollipop in my mouth
Which admittedly I will have that after this conversation, yes
Trisha think but I was a man
Like duh she's so dumb and also I didn't eat dinner the night before
You know why?
Because I was fighting with you.
Oh, really?
The fight that you started?
Nobody brought up Louis.
This was you for the completely up Louis.
No one brought up.
And started screaming at her and accusing her of crazy things.
So then, Marjus, like, what if I ever done to you?
And she's like, you're always coming at me.
And she goes, no.
I'd never done with speak to you.
I stood up to you.
Non-fucking, stop, Teresa. And Teresa goes no, I'll have ever done with speak to you. I still have you non-fucking stop to reset and trace ago
Oh, yeah, well then I would say dead-oh and she goes
Did oh your throwing a wrist limbal saying out at me now down done with you
Did I to research just yeah like vice versa
Now you're talking about judge Ryan Hilton Fred Savage.
What is wrong with you right now?
You know what to read that I have championed you since fucking day one and you have broken
my fucking hot and I am Jahana.
So now Louis is standing there.
So Mars walks off mad and Louis goes, okay, thank you.
Have a good night.
I hate this guy so much.
I know.
He's the worst.
He has terrible.
So, oh, and by the way, I said earlier,
he's a criminal.
I don't know that he's a criminal.
I suspect he is, though, and I can't wait to find out
if I'm right in the coming years.
So he's like, good night, good night, then.
So then she turns back and like, like, oh, God.
Like rolls her eyes at him,
but she's why I'll always love her. She's like, of a fuck. Yeah. So Louis, like, oh God, like rolls her eyes at him, but she's why I always love her.
She's like, of a fuck.
Yeah.
So Louis, like, you okay, Theresa?
She's like, there was a lot of sads.
And he's like, yeah, well, you know what?
She's making you work too hard for an apology
and you don't need to dance for anyone.
I wait.
Nobody I want beyond dancing with the stars.
So then Margaret's like, you know what,
I'm done.
It was an emotional conversation. I was almost crying because I really do care about it. But then I was like, you know what, I'm done. It was an emotional conversation.
I was almost crying because I really do care about her.
But then I was like, oh my god, am I really gonna cry about
Theresa due to IZanteev?
I don't think so.
But for her to be spiteful and to shame me,
I'm fucking done.
Please pass the chicken lollipop.
Thank you.
So Teresa is telling Louie.
Yeah, and then she said like, your ex,
your ex stab somebody.
And he's like, yeah, well, you know what?
I'm not yet audition for Margaret. Okay. She's starving to sit in your seat. I got news for you
She's already sitting in her seat because there's two heads right next to Andy at that reunion and Marj is in it
So she's already got the seat so calm your tits. Yeah, it's really true. Yeah, and by the way, I'll tell you who's auditioning to sit and treat the seat. It's you Louis It's literally you
It is you, Lou
He's like, let's go. I want to get out of here. I want to get a jet and go home
This is too much. It's too much like seriously. I'm done. I don't need this. I work hard
You never have to so that way you never have to work a day in the life. Let's go and move it to our 50,000 square
For the house. I'm like, ah!
Now let me, when he was saying this stuff,
like let's get a jet, I worked too hard,
you don't have to.
I was totally like, okay, next season,
all the, all the stamps are coming out, right?
Bro, like he's obviously a shady ass,
shates like he's obvious.
Who talks like this?
And then he's screaming and yelling for everybody to hear
and throwing a diva fit on the set that he's been on for about five minutes after just saying he's
changed. Can he please have Teresa's hand in marriage? I mean, this guy is disgusting.
So then everyone's shocked, right? Because they're seeing like the real Louie. And so, Jackie's
like, well, three tries to convince this is all a good guy, but maybe right now, we're
seeing it through colors. And everybody's just watching and pace around like a gorilla and Joe's like
But you know what guy she's happy am I right am I right?
That was almost an apology right right
Then March lays it right out. She just tells all the girls because Jenna's still like
But it was nice so March says, I'm telling you.
I was right about Sikki. I was right about Danielle and I'm right about Louis.
Goodbye. Thank you.
Yeah, I mean that was...
She said it. I mean like there was nothing you could say to that when she said that I was like, yep, well, yep.
And so that's a clip that will be played in five years.
Non-stop. That's gonna be the black one clip that's gonna be the new
Like house montage of from Teresa's house. Teresa's selling her house montage
So then yes, so now Teresa's like at this point in my life
I just want to be happy and I know Louis wants the same for me
So if I have to walk away from certain people to protect us, I have no problem with that. I'll do whatever
it takes to protect our love. Oh right, you're gonna quit
the show bullshit Teresa. You will never quit the show. If
if anything, she thinks she's going to get a spinoff and
fuck all these people. And she keeps making all these like
veiled threats like, well guys, I tried to talk to Marge and
that's it. I don't want to earn my friend group anymore in other words Marge is fired right like if Trees is
not gonna shoot with the marge she's trying to fire a marge but then Louie who's so grow you know
I mean how many times do we have to say it I get it but Louie said something to her in this whole
thing like we're rich we don't have to do this I make all this money and we can just go live
our own lives if we want to you don't need to do this. I make all this money and we can just go live our own lives
if we want to.
You don't need this anymore.
Something like the show, which is such like the,
it's like stereotype, boilerplate, abuser language.
Like, you don't need your job, you don't need your friends,
you don't need your family, all you need is me
and what I can prove.
I can tell about cutting people off,
like cutting off that support system.
I didn't even, I didn't even put two and two together
when he said, you don't have to put,
you don't have to work another day of your life,
like that that actually implies
that she doesn't have to come on the show anymore.
Yeah, he's like, fuck this show.
All they've done, you know, while I'm trying
to make myself look like a good person,
all the show is done as undermined me
and tried to make me look stupid
all the way up into the end.
And you don't need this.
We can go, I can pay for it. You know, I mean, he ends. He's trying to convince us the
whole season. He's not an abuser by ending the season with the most stereotypical abuser
lifetime movie language. Wow. You're right.
Yeah.
Preach from the pre-street. So then we get like some little epilogue. Truth.
Theresa and Lili went on vacation and Greece
and she's following.
I asked the question,
she didn't mind answering and that question was,
would you like a dot coke and I said yes please.
What?
I wrote, they went to Greece's.
So then March is starting an alcohol,
an alcohol free beverage line.
Oh, really?
I'm not the countess.
Yeah, better than the countess.
Better than countess, really.
I'm not that...
Any of these were too exciting.
I mean, Teresa is getting married.
I mean, it's not shocking, but it's something.
But I mean, man, in a season of not exciting endings,
Melissa's is just, I'm embarrassed for Melissa at this point.
It's like Melissa hasn't missed a game
since Antonia started cheer back up.
I'm like, I shall do anything for an audience, really.
And that's, yeah, I mean, none of these
were really very interesting at all.
I mean, usually the epilogue aren't that interesting,
but these are actually, I mean, it's like a bit more stuff.
It's just showing you, you know.
We had Dolores moving again. She moved in with Frank and the kids.
Agenda is working on her marriage and Jackie is doing better with her eating disorder or whatever.
So it just goes to show you that it doesn't really matter necessarily
their personal storylines.
Everyone's like, what's your storylines? You're going to pretend you're pregnant.
You know, it's just about that. I think this shows the best one out of the currents because they spend so much time together.
Yeah, I think you make a really good point. I think when people be like, what's your storyline?
What's your storylines? Sometimes someone's storyline is just like something with someone else.
But what's
annoying is when someone doesn't have a storyline and we have to actually sit and watch them,
like we have to spend real estate, like visual real estate watching like Lisa Rina
opening up her garage to show one of her daughters dresses, you know, so that way she can like
impress Al from love Island, you know.
Yes.
That's what's going to happen.
Well, this was a fun season.
I can't believe, no, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to cut you off.
I literally said hard.
At an hour and a half, which is crazy
that we did that for this episode, but super fun.
Talking to you guys and talking to you, Ben.
It's always.
Thank you, Jersey, for such a fun season.
It looks like the reunion is gonna be kick ass.
I cannot wait for this reunion.
Yeah, three weeks.
They do a good reunion.
So I'm looking forward to that.
So we'll catch you on the next reunion episode.
We'll actually catch you before that
because we've got speaking for unions,
real housewives of Orange County reunion
coming up on our next episode,
also crap is on demand.
So we'll see you there.
Bye everyone. Watch what crap is, demand so we'll see you there Bye everyone
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