Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Obstacle Hoors Live from Chicago

Episode Date: November 17, 2019

We're live from the City Winery in Chicago for this very special Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap. The ladies go to an obstacle course and Danielle fights with Margaret about who's the biggest prostitution hoor. For our premium bonus about dog movies and our trips to Mexico and Thailand, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. *** Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor", "Twerp", "Dork", "When Life Gives You Tacos Make Taco Salads" merch available plus we re-released our Ramona Christmas and Chanukah gear at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to NYC, St Louis, Philadelphia, Denver, Seattle, Los Angeles (The Crappies), Detroit, Columbus, Austin (late show added!), Houston, NOLA, Birmingham, Vancouver and Oklahoma! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. What would crappens would like to think its premium sponsors? Just saying okay?

Kristi Wawerdie-Dawerdie! Jamie, she has no last namey! Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone! Nobody sucks at us like Amy Tsakarellis! You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters! Aaron McNickalis, she don't miss no trickleess! Megan the Slayer Taylor!

Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. He makes a squee-rachid-ee. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God, I love that banana. Anderson.

Higher than Iris, it's Lauren Perez. Hava-Neghilaber. Vista Walland now That's what I call wallentainment the Bay Area Betches Betches and our super premium Patreon subscribers Give them hell miss Noel always ready for Nicole pass already one day your Rachel's in the next day. You're out She ain't no shrinking violet Kuchar. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender Yes, we can with how Lee Carolyn carol, and an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who happens?

Who happens? I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I'm crap, I seat. Usually I'm sitting up here with my love handle just my muffin top sitting right on top of the table I love you low seating city winery Hello, Chicago. What's up Chicago? It's so good to be back. I Have to open with an apology to the people on the side who are gonna get my butt crack through about half of this No matter what size I buy old Navy Navy loves my ass crack. And it will show it. You guys, Chicago is one of our absolute favorite places to come. I mean, one of our most legendary shows of all time happened here in Chicago. Who is here for the Leigh Ann Lock and Show?

Anniko, Anniko from Below Deck. Anniko. Anniko, poor Niko. Yeah, Anniko. Anniko from below deck. Anniko. Anniko, poor Niko. Yeah, Anniko. Anniko. We still love you, Niko. Call me back. Call me back, Niko.

Oh, we... Oh, yeah. No, I thought you had forgotten something, but you hadn't, and then I stopped myself. I'm fucking Niko. Just kidding. Like huge huge news my new boyfriend No, I would like to thank you guys for giving us this picture of Eddie. Thank you. This is a picture of That's what I thought he had forgotten

Eddie judge from real housewives of Orange County these girls used to do Zumba We got like we got do Zumba. Zumba, like, uh. We got some Zumba fanatics here. Workshops are something with Eddie. And so they have an actual picture of Eddie Judge back in his Zoom, but they just look at this smile. Yeah. This is what happens when you quit Zumba class.

You get fucking depressed. Oh, yeah. Or when you marry Tamara, I'm not sure. I'm not sure I'm not sure A little from column a little from column B. But he is not happy anymore So I just want to put this here so he can remember what it was like. Yeah when we all did Zumba back in the day Well, let's have him look at our wine. Oh, by the way, there's this awesome face. I want to see your face What oh? Oh? I thought I talked about the wine space. I was like oh

What? Oh. Oh, I thought you were talking about the wine space. I was like, oh, no. Because the picture is like this. I'm blocking this girl's face. Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, this girl right here. Any judge? You're doing great, any judge? Well, this one right here, she got mugged at the Countess Luan Show. I said it was probably the Countess with her broke ass out there, like in a mask, smugging people at a room, so. We are so excited that you guys are here because we know this is a big Bravo Weekend. It is BravoCon that is happening right now, but you guys are at Ben Roncon, okay? So too with Ben Ron Conn. And I know you guys are thinking that all the celebrities are over in New York right

now, but luckily this is a pretty high-tech venue. And we are able to get, I don't know, we're able to teleconference in with some celebrities, pretty much Ace celebrity. And she has blessed us with one of her very own recipes that she's going to show all of you guys. Are we ready? Can we fire up this video? Yes.

Cold day, homemade apple crisp. You take the apple, you peel it, and then you cut it off in quarters, and then you slice it then. So I want to make sure I have enough. So something good, the individual ramekin. So it's portion control and it's great presentation. Ricky is great cinnamon, okay. This is really good cinnamon. It's the best cinnamon.

And I'm using organic flour and flour. Perfect sugar and you must use unsalted butter please. And my secret ingredient is some fresh squeezed lemon juice. You guys tell me I always tell you that. I forgot the most important ingredient. Old fashioned quaker oats. That's the best. Well, almost for that oats. That's the best. I love. Well, almost for not oats, tap. Nothing has made your thick oats. Now for my favorite part, the crumb topping.

So three quarter cup of flour, three quarter cup of the oats, and a half a cup of brown sugar. Brown sugar. Mix this together and then cut in the butter. And that's the topping. And then we just bake it for three fifty for like twenty minutes. Look at the way she's stirring. It's going to be so yummy. And the last part is the cinnamon. One of these cinnamon is really good. You don't want to cheat on the cinnamon. You have to buy a really good gourmet cinnamon. Don't cheat on the cinnamon.

Like Mario cheated on me. And now I'm putting in the butter. Four ounces of butter, sweet cream butter is very important. I'm using a really good quality. I really stay away from butter, but for this, I don't mind it. I use good quality. So now it's the end of the crumb topping. I blended it actually with my hands because they made it easier. So my hands are clean. I'm just gonna put it on top. Do not use Ramona's hands to cook anything ever just to side no. Whoa. Sugar, brown sugar, etc.

And it's all on top. So I'm gonna wait till my guests come. I'll put in the oven at 350 for about 30 minutes. Because the fragrance of it, the aroma is amazing. The fragrance of it? And I like to stir that with the warm. And we can do with some frozen vanilla yogurt on the side. I think it looks indulge.

Wow, thank you Ramona. By the way, for anyone who actually watched those stories on Let's indulge. Wow, thank you, Ramona. By the way, for anyone who actually watched those stories on Instagram, I just want to point out that was three minutes of her preparing Apple Christmas, and she never showed the final product. It was probably dirty, that's why I fucking hands. Get your hands out of my fucking Quaker Oats, Ramona. It's fast and easy like Sonya. Ramona singer, what a blessing. So we're doing T-Shows tonight. Our second show is a classic real housewives of New York and it's just Ramona with a big

curler in the center of her head. And that's all I can see when I see her. I just have Ramona see like, yeah, making an apple crisp. Yeah, bring a seizure to make the Chris Jesus Christ, you're making me nervous. Who are you to put cinnamon in my crisp, okay? Also, there was huge news. So we got on the plane this morning and we got off. And of course, that's I feel like they're doing things to spy this at Bravo Cron, okay? Spat enough you didn't ask us to go there but to start announcing things when you know that we're on an airplane it's like Andy Cohen has our like fucking Southwest schedule. Let's get him, let's get him. Make fun of how I can't make it through an interstitial something. Yeah. All right.

So you've been waiting a long time for this news. It is time for a new housewives city. And it's gonna be in cut. It's like, all right, Andy. Yeah. Jesus Christ, Andy, it's a live show. So the new housewives city, it's gonna be in salt. They? City. Okay. Well. I thought it's gonna be in Seoul they

I thought it was gonna be Chicago personally and I'm not even saying that I Really did that's why you're booing. I was like Jesus you are not in the religious freedom at this Who does that but yeah, you're booing cuz it was rumored to be Chicago, right? We got all the real housewives of Chicago over here. Yeah. Well, the rumor was it was going to be real housewives of Chicago because Tinsley apparently has a fit during real housewives of New York this year and leaves the show to go to Chicago to be with the coupon king.

Yes. We should have tried to get him to come to this show. The coupon? Yeah. We should have tried to get him to come into our pants. The coop fuck yeah, we should have tried to get him to come into our pants, okay? A coop on me? That's rich as fuck. Remember when he sent his like, brain drover, whatever, detensley, it was like a Rolls Royce or Bentley.

It was out Bentley. Whatever, it's a big earth killing car. I mean, it's just so sexy. I know. Fuck you, earth, I gotta get to Costco! So I'm very upset that it's not Real House House of Chicago, but there's still hope, I mean, you know, it could happen. I mean, it's not like City, though. I've heard that, because of course, that's what I did today instead of see your beautiful city. I was like, hi, hello hotel, and what's a bad and red all of the comments on these posts all day. And people were saying that it's a really good city

because it's a bunch of like mommy bloggers who compete to see who can be like the blogger who's finished in White S. Plus, it'll be the first real house house where they're all actually married to the same guy, which I think is really cool. LAUGHTER Totally. People were saying, what are they going to hold us?

Snowball? No, they're going to hold another wide. Little, little wives. They're going to hold some beer that has less alcohol on it. They have less, isn't it in Utah that the alcohol percentage is lower? So that'll make for great TV. We're really warming up our show in St. Louis. Our Salt Lake Theater. We are going to Salt Lake City by the way. We're actually really excited for that. But let's not talk about Salt Lake City.

Tonight is all about Chicago and New Jersey. Woo! And also this lovely city winery of this, this water crapens wine. I hope you guys all get some, but I'll lead home tonight without it. Yeah, get some watchful crap and what? Delicious! Like a fine wine, it gets better with time.

It's cap and air available from your local waiter, waitress, or as we like to say in 2019, your server. Remember when we used to be waiters? Oh, these millennials. So this is the second episode of the New Jersey season, which means we get our opening lines. Oh, tag lines. Tag lines. I cannot believe one of the tag lines, wasn't it? If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck and cracks like a duck and runs like a duck, if it drinks water like a duck,

if it splooches poo poo out like a duck, it's not there. It's a, I don't know, what is that? Is it a duck? if it's blue just poop or I like a duck. It's not there It's a I don't know what is that? So the first one is March classic March, she's like listen if you can't take the truth Because classic March was sued right was yes, guess so, but I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your,

I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your,

I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, I've been your, You're vineyard vines. You have nothing to do with whales. Stop it. I like that whale. It reminds me of Bible stories.

You know, it's like, and then he got eaten by a whale, but the whale spit him out because he prayed or something. I just always thought that was the cutest Bible story. It was cute. OK, so I mean the Bible. What a cute story. So cute. That's the best memory.

So cute, Jonah, and the whale. Remember when that bush told that dude to burn his son alive? I mean, well, but club. Okay, so then is Jennifer and she's like, you know what they say plastic mix perfect. Yeah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Uh. Oh my God. I'm so glad New Jersey is back.

It is so funny. So funny. Yeah, sometimes doing these were like, what do we say? Like some girl talks about suicide for an hour and then like another girl might not adopt a kid and her husband hates her. Like what do we do? You know, and then Jersey is just like, we could talk for 20 minutes just on my, I know. Silent shots of Jersey.

Like that's it. I could do that yeah just like dead wood outside of Teresa's home you know like 20 minutes of content right there it's a cracked bowling alley pin or like a bowling pin and a cul-de-sac what is happening in New Jersey yeah so Melissa is next man mirror mirror the wall. I don't think I look 40 at all. The mirror. Yes you too. And second of all. Second of all, that's okay. Bitch. And third of all, you never look 40 when you're 40, okay? But when you turn 41, you're like, oh, fuck. Oh, no, that's what it is. Like, you're like, 40 was great. What did people

talking about? I've never been happy. I've never looked young. Oh, Jesus Christ. Give it a year. That's what I say. So then next up is Jackie. Jackie, don't let the mini-vamp fool you. Fish mom. Well, roll the, anyone? What does that mean? Yeah, what does that mean? Has she been running over people with her mini van? To roll over. To roll over. I broke for pedestrians. Roll over like turn over like turning on your car. I didn't get the whole thing. I was like now when I'm thinking about it's your mini van and you did this yourself Jackie. I also feel like there was a subtle clue that she's gonna get a bad edit the season

Because every other housewife when they did their taglines in the middle of it They had like a sound effect so like when Jennifer did hers where she said what was she said Jennifer said As I always say and then it cuts her going hi They always say, and then a cusser are going, hi! And then she goes, plastic makes perfect. And guess what, you're all going to notice that high for the rest of season. But Jackie doesn't get one.

They don't give it to Jackie. I notice that they did that. And I think it's because, and I still stand by this, I think they have all the housewives record these on their cell phones. So like, OK, it's time for tag lines. We do not have the green screen space today, so just call it it. Because remember last year's, I think it was Lisa Reina.

She's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So yeah, mini van. Okay, so then is Dolores. Behind every strong man is a stronger Jersey girl and behind her is a back splash and on the back splash is Peppletile that I did not approve. I did not approve that Peppletile. Why are we talking about your man? You ain't married to some man. Why are you putting a man in your tagline? I don't like that. Get the man out of here. I'm not watching it for your fucking overgrown ape. I'm watching it for you. And Frankie. And Frankie. Behind every strong man is a strong Jersey girl who divorces the strong man and fucks of semi-week man with a lot more money under the same roof as the original strong man.

You know sometimes you know sometimes behind every strong man does not always a strong Jersey girl but that's because she walks from the kitchen to the living room so if you wait for it to come back in the kitchen, there'll be a jazzy girl. You make a triangle. Yeah, it's a triangle. And then Teresa. If you rub me the wrong way. Cut to bang.

That's her big sound effect. She's a little like says bang. Which you never say in Jersey, even as a joke, you know? I'm just saying, if you around me? They're like, very. They'll be not my non-estate. Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum- to rage on something just because she's not on parole anymore. You know, it's like, you made it through parole. I was like, fucking a light pole, just snorting everything you can see. And Teresa's drug of choice is just throwing things at people. I'm like, hitting them.

And she just looks like she's about to jump out of her skin the whole time. I'm like, that's the way boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom Beer Old footage of any of the housewives. You know, Beer Old footage is when they just show like footage of like the trees or like the town or whatever. So every other franchise like if it's Orange County they'll show like waves crashing and Beverly Hills. You'll see palm trees in New York. You'll see glitz and glam and here it's like dead trees. Dumpsters. Some stepping and gum on a sidewalk.

Yeah, like brown snow. That was like plowed to the side. Yeah, some gardener ping his name into the snow, you know. It was like the ugliest stock footage of all time. Would you look at my notes right now? Is that fucked up? I haven't had a drink before. No, that's fucked up, right? Your notes are oddly blurry.

Yeah, okay, thank you. I looked down and I was like, my notes are blurry. I'm dying, I'm dying. Like the Teresa blinks, the karma of the Teresa blinks. I'm finally giving myself a stroke on stage. You know what's happening here in some fucking city winery, that's where I'm going out. You know it's gonna be true proudly.

No better place, no better place. With my bottle of wine clutch to my my Watch what crap is wine clutch to my chest like you stroked out holding his own wine Temporary wine Everyone's like so There's so is so hilarious like how into prison they are. I just love it They're like let's put prison in every scene okay So this is like the sad shots of New Jersey and there's no music just no like

It's just silence and then you hear clink clink And you think it's gonna be prison right yeah or Kim D Or Kim D clink clink to Lisa clink clink Her hair thanks are sticking up. Is it a new season? Or Kim D. Klingling Teresa. Klingling. Her hair, thanks, are sticking up. Is it a new season? Or a member Dorinda's version of Lawn Order. Klingling!

Dorinda just solves crimes. Klingling. So, it's not. It's Chirisa working out to sound some prism to her is Klingling. But it's like her, her French press or something. She's like her Like her pen's press or something Like you tricked me Jersey. She's like auditioning. It's like it was like one of those like boxing movie montages Like I gotta put all my peens into the working ounces and stuff, you know So she's like yeah, she's talking about like,

Joe's being sent to the ice and I was like, I was like shocked, like, what if he freezes to death in ice? I tell them it's good with tea, Joe. It's good with tea. So then it comes back to her. Ah, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. She's like, I was like shocked.

I was like, oh my god, this is so early, but they can't smell Joe in the middle of the night because of the paparazzi. I was like, oh, okay. So let's just remind us how famous you are while your husband's being thrown in jail and you're working out a form of work. Okay, Teresa, you're famous, we get it.

Meanwhile, over at Joe and Melissa's house, of four. Yeah. Okay, Theresa, you're famous, we get it. Meanwhile, over at Joe and Melissa's house, they don't give a shit. They're pretending to, they're like making eggs and then they're having, you know, they always do this every season. They're doing some stupid thing, they're making eggs or whatever. I'm like, oh, life is hard. Like, oh, you assisted Joe. Oh, wow.

Oh, I just want to be on the record that I did say, you sister Joe, you sister. Poor Joe. Kids enjoy your breakfast. Joe's not enjoying it today. Poor Joe, he must feel like sprinkle cookies on Christmas Eve. And band-inton, lowly, and a trash can, some of you. We are so deeply sad that this had to happen the same day that Joe was going to have the

book signator, the Gorgas Guide to Success. At a goodwill bin coming soon. Joe made his fortune building it flipping houses. So last year, a publishing company approached him. Really? Was there a name clip art from MacPaint in 1992, ma'am? I don't know if I'm believing you. Hold on, I'm pulling up. I'm not texting. I'm pulling up his book.

Yes, we have the Amazon samples or the Kindle samples. Gorgas God's success. We will read. So, someone goes, please read. You guys are so civilized here, others are like, you better read that shit. Please read. You want to read a little bit? I want to read a little bit, because it's just like finger-weak and do it online.

Gorgas God's success. Why does this keep getting blurry? By the way, notability, go fuck yourself. You're terrible. You're a terrible app. Okay, so introduction. I never really thought I'd be the type of guy to write a book. That makes two of us. But I also never thought I'd be the type of guy to be on reality TV.

Because you know he was like doing it in his theory while he was flexing his muscles. Because the first picture, the first picture that came up when I put Joe Gorgah book is a picture of him going, ooh, he flexing his muscles, like my gun! You talking about guys looking like he's just waiting for a ball to be thrown at his face? And he was like, this is oddly arousing to me. I don't care, he's sexy. I relate some shit just. She aims forever. But I also never thought I'd be the type of guy

to be on reality TV. Sure, I was raised by my dad to be a good guide or a God to become successful, but never in a million years did I plan to be famous. I'm like God, then it goes on how famous he is for paragraphs and paragraphs. Then he's like, sure, my wife and listen, I might be stars on Real Housewives in New Jersey, but we're also real people like yous.

And I'm really, really, really, so like real. That's a real sentence. I didn't make that up. Yes, I saw that sentence also. I can verify. I say it how I mean it, because even though Melissa and I had built up a successful life together, like I said, I'm still just a poor Italian kid from the inner city of Patterson, he literally said that three times on the first page, like he's really into that. So I have a story here that he wrote that's in, I believe it's the chapter that says,

you've got to have balls. Because, of course, that's a chapter. He goes, now let me back up a second here and tell you another story. Okay? A few months before, I guess before the other story, about being poor and patissene and dirty. Yeah, it was in patissene, you know. I was in Mexico with friends.

We were at a hotel when I saw this girl walk out the pool She was wearing a leopard bikini and she was gorgeous But before I could meet her she went back to her room So I went over to her and and meet her friends instead and I found out they were all from New Jersey And they tell me that my their friends name is Melissa Really the girl in the leopard bathing suit was from New Jersey. I am shocked, Joe. I'm shocked.

So we all leave Mexico, but I say in touch with Melissa's crew, I would meet up with him down at the Jersey Shore. Melissa would be there, but we still didn't connect. Sometimes I was with another girl. Sometimes she was with her friends. Sometimes I would just watch her. with her friends. Sometimes I'll just watch her. But something in me said, not yet, not yet. I should jerk off in the bathroom when they're reconcerned.

Gotta give her some of this poison first, huh? Oh, do you guys want to hear the rest of that?? Out of it? Like, you could go out online. Look, I was like doing the dishes. I was like, I love an audio book. I mean, I could just tell their love story. I saw it as swimming pool. It's like the greatest love story I ever told. So there's hot bitch at a pool.

Wanted to fuck her. Took me a week. Well, there's only one little part of it left. So you're still saying, not yet. I don't want to, I don't want to approach her, you know. So until that night after the meeting at the apartment building, because he was doing something in the apartment building, he goes, after we presented the project to the board

and they told us we were approved to turn that broken down mill into rental apartments, which is, by the way, the best phrase you want to have in a love story. Yeah. After we ridden with that mill, after we could turn that broken down million to rental apartments, my architect, Atoni and I decided to go out and celebrate, we headed to a place and clicked in New Jersey called Joey's, which is what most people call me. And guess who was behind the bar, the girl in the leopard bikini, Melissa. So congrats Melissa on being found

after getting approved for a broken down mill. That's hot. I mean, they're both hot. I'll give them that. I do have a half. So back to this, they're cooking and talking about how sad it is, Joseph and Jail. But there is like a slight happiness in their voice every time they share. And it really is funny.

Yeah. Yeah, slight. So they're going to have this party for Joe's big book, his big book that's coming out. About how not to betray your friends, Kyle Richards. It's been a whole weekend, I cannot stop. So like, hi, welcome to your hotel, I'm like, hello! That's true. Girl reaches. It's been all weekend I cannot stop. To like, hi. Welcome to your hotel.

I'm like, hello. That's true. Can I please have a room that won't hurt me in my heart? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. So now we're seeing everyone reacting to the news about Joe.

So we see Marg, she's talking with her Joe and she's like, I mean, we do it to recent. It's like bad news after bad luck. I mean, it's almost if they committed a crime or something. Oh, wait, they did. They did. They did. You know what?

Here's how I look at that. Joe paid his dues. I was like, what did he, an actor who finally got a movie role? Like, what do you talk about his dude? So then Dolores and Frank are talking and she's like, did you see the news? I'm long to go for it. I'm just sick of it. Fold the fucking towel, Frank.

Jesus Christ. My mother, she's here. Fold it. Fold it and listen to how sick of it I am. Sick of death. Sick to death. Then Frank's like, what do we say good to now Maybe we should do something to Lawrence

Do something between the boys we got do something for us. We were not what are you want to do that to Lawrence Maybe wash our cars again at the horse So of course I'm gonna do something for Frank. I'm just deciding on the right thing, the right time, the right whatever. What am I going to do? Hold on, I'll be right back. I'm going to walk to the living room, to the kitchen. Frank, I got an idea.

Do you still have your blockbuster card? It's out of business. OK. So we got to do something for Blockbuster Enteries now. All right. Do something for Blockbuster. Right? Do something for Blockbuster.

What about Hollywood video? What about Hollywood video? Of course. The worst. So speaking of, let's go over to Teresa's house where her new indentured servant No-no is there. Has No-no done enough in his life that the man can sit down for 10 fucking minutes? My God! It's 8 a.m. and he's cooking chicken cutlets.

Yes! No-no's over there cooking cutlets, painting the garage, you know, driving the kids to school fucking leave no no alone the math 90 Just doing nanos hateful eyes right now people are No, no so sweet, but he's always looking like, ooh. Ooh. Ooh. He just saw a ghost in the attic.

Stop pointing the attic, Nuno, stop. That's what Teresa comes on. I'm like, I'm not, I'm not. I'm stopping and watching, making chips like a cutlass like the color of the grudge. Put in this white ball right now. No, no. A dream of stress. It's like it never ends a saga. Am I right? Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung. He's like, Oh, my God.

So then, uh, so, uh, Jim, the lawyer comes over. Remember when we all thought Jim was fucking Theresa, the lawyer? Yeah. Boy, did we have that one wrong? Yeah. So it's actually kind of a sad scene. Because you know, I have a very low tolerance for these like, oh, no, what's going to happen to Joe,

Judea is now that he's committed a crime and serving his time, you know? But I did feel a little bit, because now the lawyer is going to be coming in to explain to the girls what's going on. I mean, the long and the short of it is, hey girls, just so you know, your dad gave up on you and it's going to another country and you'll never see him again. Did I lie? So anyway, so that's barking and I was like

I got the gulp the chicken guts with the dog So so they're there and so they're talking about all this stuff and then in the middle of it Joe Judis actually calls and So what's going on? What's what's the matter what's happening you have a collect call from Joe Joe this is Joe this is Ice calling because you have a call from so the entire time poor Melania poor Melania, poor Melania. I do feel bad, she is obviously very attached to her dad and all she wants to do is talk.

Well, all she wants to do is grow up. And then on top of that, all she wants to do is talk to her dad. And this is like, you know, he's got like two very strict minutes on this phone. And this is like what everyone's doing. Hey, Zhao, How you doing? You have a good time.

I was watching a movie you would have liked. What's the called again? I think it's called the, uh, what's the name of that movie again? I don't know, Ma, can I talk to fucking dad, please? Can I just talk to dad for two seconds? Hold on, let me, I'm gonna put you on G, uh, G, uh, you got something to say to your dad? Hi, dad. We're gonna be so disappointed if you don't come home.

You're an aggravated foul and we, can I just talk to my fucking father? How's that? Hi, dad, anything you want to talk about dad? Hey, Gia, get out the phone. Give it to the one who doesn't talk. Okay, go. Gabriella's like,

so her mommy is like, God damn it! And the otherlla's like, God damn it. And the other one's like, she's like playing charades over the phone. I don't. They're like, 10 seconds left. You're just throwing the phone across the table. And the whole thing is just like trying to reach it.

That was so cold. And it really happened. Poor Melania. Now let's say, this is really traumatizing to everybody, I guess. I mean, not to me, like I'm loving it. But like the kids, like it's traumatizing to the kids. And it's really traumatizing to Melania. Who I think we can all agree is a national treasure in a hero.

Of course. I'm fucking obsessed with her. Ever since she sat on that sushi. I mean, I liked her before. It was a... But someone just asked planting on the sushi area. Don't ruin my memory. Don't ruin my false implantation memory.

You just really elevated it. That's what I'm saying. Anyway, she has been my national treasure ever since, but I will say this. Like, let's not pretend like this is making Melania worse. Melania was the one who's gonna burn down a church anyway. Like before prison, after prison,

keep the matches away from Melania, as I've said. Exactly. So now we go over to David's house, which Frank is building. So, the lower shows up, and Frank shows building. So, Dolores shows up. And Frank shows up with David. So it's a weird, like, you know, ex and current man.

Dolores man. It's a HBO late night show. You know where you're like, I'm watching it because it has sex in the title. But if these people get naked, we're going to have a problem. So, yeah. So Frank is like, well, as always, the law is late. I want to make sure everything is good, okay?

Because otherwise I'll be here from the law later on. You'll be here, but I'll be here. Okay, Frank, you have spat over all the plywood. What are we doing here? We're gonna have stone-out, we're gonna have stone-out, silent. What they done before the law is just gonna get here. The law is just gonna stop, don't,, you know what he's gonna hear about it? Not you, I'm gonna have to.

I'm gonna be the one that had out. I'm gonna be the one to hear about it. What's he hear about it? The Lord's. The Lord's comes in and she's like, all right, let me explain, count a space. You okay with two islands? Two islands.

You don't need an archipelago in your kitchen. But that's the new thing. It's like two islands. Joe Gore speaking of Joe Gore got today. I was looking at his Instagram because masturbation. I'm just kidding. Could you imagine? That girl's like, yes.

You're all whole. Oh, thank you. It's very difficult to take off. I'm all there. I'm all there. You're trying to hold your phone. Thank you. I'm all there.

I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all whole. Oh, thank you. It's very difficult to take off this movie. I'm all there. We're trying to hold your phone. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome.

You're all whole. Oh, thank you. It's very difficult to take off this movie. I'm all there. We're trying to hold your phone. I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all there.

I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all there. I'm all there and he's like, look at this beautiful house. And it is stunning. Now, by the way, you know it's covered with shellac. It's like gravel covered in shellac to look like marble.

Because we know how shady these fuckers are. The first season, when someone came to look at their house and they could crack the marble, because it was made out of like Styrofoam or something. Anyway, he's showing this new house he built. And it is stunning. And it has two islands. That's the new thing.

Two islands. Two islands. Islands in the stream. Yeah, so Later adapted by Maya and old dirty bastard into the ghetto superstar What the fuck are we even talking about? I don't know. Maya. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive.

And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of WonderZ's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Who is in? Chicago.

See it all comes together. So they're doing this crazy kitchen with like a vent at the lords. It's going to suck up your hair and the moment you turn around to the lords. It's huge vent with like two islands. And then it's like, so does this mean you're going to be moving into the lords?

She goes, no. I'll have them build it to my liking. And then I'll see if I get a commitment. You're gonna make him pay all that money and still not move into the Jail Island kitchen. Yeah, of course. That's what you do. It's called self-respect. You may not be ready to commit to me, but you are gonna commit to my double island, you mother fucker. And you're gonna strip me every day. I'm out here. It is like which one should I have my eggs on? I'm so alone So the state with I can't even imagine Dolores with two islands. You just be walking back and forth I don't know how to get out of the kitchen because I keep walking from islands

I'm gonna be making a figure eight around those islands Around that I walk around My I'm gonna win the islands. It's my infinity. Yeah, so yeah, she's like who knows you know I make it to my liking and then if he doesn't do whatever don't you think I deserve that Frank and he's like Delores deserves everything in my book so I love Delores. I love her So now we go to a park. Are you lost in the news? I'm just having issues this note program updated today and when I touch it it goes As girls up to the end so I just keep seeing the same tree so

I mean that's really what I was showing. It's like a crazy person. Sorry. Oh, it's okay So now we go over to like a park and Jennifer and her daughter Gabriela are there and Jennifer is talking about how now that she, now that I've had all this liposuction done, I really want to keep that weight off, you know. So keep getting liposuction stupid. If you didn't have to exercise and now you're thinner, what part of logic tells you to start exercising? Yeah. Literally stupid.

So this is her version of exercising. OK, I'm done. She walks from the corridor to a bench, does a weird stretch, and then sits down. I don't want to gain the weight back. I'm gonna be a good example to my children. If you already got it sucked out, you are being a good example to your children.

Now, here's... I don't even know what I was gonna say. I was just gonna say, do it in an affordable way. You know, like, you're gonna teach your children and that teach them to do it in an affordable way. You know, like, you're gonna teach your children that teach them to do it in an affordable way. Like put an incision on your left handle, get a dustbuster and some kind of rubber. I don't know, I'm still working on it.

But, yeah. We'll talk about that. We'll talk about that. That's so me. So, I need to try to give himself LIpo with a dustbuster in the kitchen. So, Gabriella, the daughter is our shining hope for this family. Okay, we liked her last season, and then she tells the story here

that basically her friends at school have become assholes. And they dropped her, and now they are these girls. These girls are sending their boyfriends to to Gabriella to throw food at her. And let me tell you something. Okay. You don't throw food at our Gabriella, okay? Whoever you are out there, you better get your shit in line unless you have to deal with me. You know throw food, you eat food. Who doesn't fight with waste food?

First of all, it's the growth of these children or monsters. Yeah, I don't want to see Gabriel. This poor girl is crying in her mom's arms. Like, that's bullshit, OK? Yeah. Bullying is bad. Bullying is bad. And I'll tell you what also is bullshit, too,

is Jennifer Aiden on. She had an Instagram. She was horrible news about my daughter, Lincoln Bayo. So I was like, oh, no, what happened? What happened? And basically, her like in Us magazine being like, people I'm being about my daughter, Lincoln Bios. So I was like, oh no, what happened? What happened? And basically, her like in Us Magazine being like, people I mean to my daughter, I was like, now listen Jennifer. Don't go crying wolf with me when I'm already

like sticking up for your daughter with bullies, OK? Yeah, Jennifer. I was very upset. Very sugar, obviously. I really like that kid Gabriella because she goes, you know what? I know that never exposed you to exercise Gabriella. So maybe you should go to camp. And she goes, you would expose me to bears?

That is my kind of kid right there. So she's like, all right, let's talk about bullying. People are mean, and you should never bully people. Like when literally the clip is her, like Theresa going, well on Instagram, bully Jackie, she's a bitch. Call a fat. So now we go over to the big book launch for Gorgas Guide to Success. Everyone's there.

It's all exciting. I put Melissa's mother is there in a new wig. It's like her new wig. It's like nice. It's a little heavy. But you know what? Good for you for working out there, Nick. Nick. I like her new wig. It's like nice. It's a little heavy. You know what? Good for you for working out that, Nick.

Nick, like your new wig. Yeah. So there's posters in a giant book. And Joe's wide eyes in his book. He's just like, he's just startled that he even has a book. Like, he can't even believe it on the cover. He's like, the only person more shocked is No No, because he can't even believe it on the cover. Like, the only person more shocked is No-no,

because he can't believe he's been let out of the house. He's like, where's my son? Where's my son? He has like a tray of chicken cutlets he's been cooking all day. They said they wanted cutlets. I know Joseph I'm typing out the Siri transcript of that bucket home. No, no So Martin joke and you know, Joe sees food and does what any normal person does and eats the food like a big deal

And so Martin's like, Joe you gotta eat the food the second you see the food job. So what you got to do? Yeah, you know what you know what diet Joe's on. He sees food he eats food. That was for you, Joan. That was for you, Joan. The old seafood joke. So Dolores comes to you and they start talking about, you know, oh, isn't it sad?

We're having a book watch the same day. Joe is stuck in eyes. So sad. Melissa's like trying to eke out a tear, you know. And Joe Gorgas like, you know, my sister, she handles it well. You know, she smiles and public. She's happy and she's fun. But tonight at home, when she's alone in bed, that's when she'll cry. And Melissa's like, I wish I had a webcam to see it. I know he gives himself up in every scene.

It's like when the lights are off, threes is all alone under the covers. This is when I watch a cry. I'm like, having sex with a guy with a book bag. So, no, no comes in. I'm a list of like, hey now now. He's like, where are your kids? Where are they?

Where are your kids? So Teresa comes and says, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Had to argue off of me, I says in my drinks. So stupid. We've got a whole evening of dry, carol dad humor coming up after the show. I'm just getting warmed up. Uh-oh. Oh, dear. You get out.

Get out. I can't believe you made a joke about Aces. So they start talking, March is like, did you hear from Joe? He's in Aces and in Jazz and... Amalusus is like, but that's not far. That's the good, because that's not far, right? And she goes, two hours and 49 minutes. And she goes, oh, is that further than it was before, out?

Yeah, that's far. Oh gosh, that's far. And Dolores is like, there's an old Italian tradition in our culture. You don't prod and prod and try about how you feel emotionally. You don't ask what's going on in someone's life and get invested in their, with their sagas and their dramas.

And you just talk about Pebble Tile. Yeah. You don't prod and pry in our culture. You bang somebody in the back of the head when they think you're just taking a walk through the park, you put them in the trunk, they sleep with the fishes, the end. Yeah, that's what it is. Fucking feelings, save your feelings, how about that?

Yeah, you don't want to double island. I'll worry about your double feelings on my second island. Yeah, no one asks me how I'm feeling. You know, I got, you know, I got Frank at home, I got Frankie at home too, and then I got David, he's got a house, got two islands, I honestly want three islands, he got a mass, he's like, when he coming in, when he coming out of the office,

I'm like, I don't know, when you're a boo-died three years ago, so that's hard too, so I was like, you know, I got the kitchen, you know, the living room floor just got rewacked, so let me tell you something, I've fallen about 10 times since I started doing my laps, it's hard. So the girls are all talking to Teresa, who's just like, I think she's sad.

I mean, I don't know if she's sad, honestly. I have no idea how Teresa feels, because this is her face. It's like when you're trying to read a sign, but then you forget why, and your eyes just start crossing. And you're tired, but you don't know if you can go to sleep. You're like, is this an ambient, worthy night? I think you just see all these non-pots going to Teresa's head. So Dolores is like, listen, I know you got a long road ahead,

so I'm planning it to A for you. It's an obstacle course, big surprise area. It's mom I'm saying it there. There's just surprises, an obstacle course. What if it doesn't snow? No, not icicle course, obstacle core. What if it doesn't snow? No, not icicle cores, obstacle cores. So she's like, I'm inviting all the girls. She's like, wait, can I make denials?

And everyone just looks at each other. And Melissa's like, I know she's under stress, but we all made it crystal clear. We don't want den, yellow around anymore, okay? This one goes nuts when she's around. And it's delicious. And she's like, oh, fucking, yellow. This one is drawing red wine in her and this marge like, fuck you and die. I'm about that stupid bitch, whatever. Like this show is amazing. Marge is like, okay, okay, I'll handle this one, everyone. Okay. I

mean, how is Danielle gonna to handle an obstacle course? Is there a pussy ring and get caught in an obstacle? That was for you, Jim. So she's going to bring up the obstacle course. She's going to pull the obstacle with the pussy, Rega, cross the thing. Are we pussy ring, shaving, now, Marge? Is that what we've devolved in, too?

So Teresa's mad and she's like, I don't have a name, she's not my name, yeah, we just closed it in. So I know my Teresa's out of control, but that's literally how I see Teresa. She's just always like, no, no, no, no, no. Are you even there? Who's in there right, man? I'm putting my finger under her nose to see if there's actual breath coming out. It's just a puppet.

So of course Teresa is like, well fine, also by the way, is Jackie invited? Because if it's my day, I don't want Jackie there. So now we know there's going to be drama. So then a speech. Look, I want to say thank you to my amazing family. As I was writing this book, crazy, right? As I was arranging the magnetic poetry on my refrigerator for chapter one. As I was thinking about chapter 2, grow some nuts. Stupid. As I was thinking about chapter 3, don't be a jerk. Jerk off.

I didn't realize it right here is my role model in life. He came to this country with nothing and now look at him. He's got a paint roller and one hand, chicken cutlets in the other. And he's learned how to drive a rain trope. It's no no. And no no is trying not to cry. So he's doing that thing. I think like all of our father's doing this.

Oh. Oh. It was like that panic look of like, where can I look, where no one can look at me? Oh. Oh. But he gets mean eyes. Does that mean that have mean eyes when he's about to cry?

It's like, you make me cry. What are you trying to make me cry? What are you trying to make me cry? Ooh! And then Joe Goregaard like proceeds to basically French kiss his father. It's like, it'll say, oh!

Proceeds to basically French kisses father Groundland at my dad was everything The nothing could get us through it because we had so much love and the same goes for my daughters and Gorkas like it's my wife says Thank you Jesus never was like thank you Jesus Okay, let's go over to Larry Melissa's party plan. Fabulous Larry. Oh no, that was a different thing. We were like, what should we do for Christmas?

So we just put Christmas housewives, and there's one like, Fabulous Freddy in real housewives of New Jersey. Yeah, this was from like six years ago. It was like Melissa's first season, and there's a guy like, so for the Christmas party, we got this guy, he is fabulous, fabulous, Freddy, and this guy comes and he's like, yeah, so you should put a Christmas tree there, presents there, tinsel there, it's any fabulous. You want people to work your party?

That cost more. You want good-looking people, pretty people, non-discusting people of the people to work your party? That costs more. You want good-looking people, pretty people, non-discussing people off the street to work your party. That's more. And Melissa's like, I would never throw such a lavish party without thinking of the children. So we're gonna donate. I'm like, you're talking about hiring hot people

for more money. Give me a break, okay? You're no Sally's brothers Melissa Why do you have to bring Sally's father's into this? I was like the nicest person I could think of You know that Sally's brothers was a nightmare on on all in the family You know that you know she was throwing no one gets relegated to late night TV commercials raising money for poor people when they're not terrible people That's true. That's true. So like jail for sitcom stars. So this guy, this party planner's name is Life down that face darling. So this guy his name is Larry. He's like, hi,

Malice. Welcome to this showroom. She's like, hi, because she's planning her 40th birthday party, you know. And he's like, Melissa, you want some alcohol? Feel free to have some lekahani. I love to take advantage of people when they've had too much to drink. I was like, what year is this? Like, is it like a different year in New Jersey all together? So Jackie comes in and Melissa's telling Lourge, she's like, oh, you know what I really like? I love what you said about taking a photo of my eyeball

and like, placing it somewhere. Yeah. But I was also thinking, maybe we could do something up the nostril and like, put it right by the bar. What do you think? I love what you said about metallics. Fuck is this? You go to a party city and you just be done with it.

Yeah, he's like, I love you a theme of black and gold. No theme. It's a vibe. Sexy, never trashy. Well, wrong franchise. So like they're the opposite of a tasteful home show with Chippin Chowanna. They walk through and say I love black and gold. Oh God none of that. Jack is like oh yeah rustic. Like the opposite of every show I watch. How do I have hair in my hair? I've been watching you struggle. I watched it actually

sort of descend on you slowly. I don't have hair that's so weird. No, it was, where's our fake fur lady? There you are. Yeah, she's been shedding. Well, thanks, it tasted good. It was delicious. Yeah, that was great. So yeah, so they're talking, whatever, who cares? We're here to talk about what a bitch Theresa is. Okay, the point is this, they pull this goblet off the shelf and they're like, We're here to talk about what a bitch Theresa is. The point is this, they pull this goblet off the shelf.

Can you believe it? $300 a glass? Pfft! Instantly breaks it. What's he talking about spending like $19z at this party? He's like, hi, I don't have to pay for it. So Melissa's like, just so, I just want you to hear it from me, Jackie. The Laura's is having an obstacle course party for Teresa. So that is so real housewives to say. We're having an obstacle course party.

Sorry, Teresa said so that's her day. She'd rather not have you there. And Jackie's like, so everyone but me is going? Which is bullying, okay? There's episode, there's bullying in all of this episode. Like, what if I want to climb over something that's like a connect forebord? What if I want to get my pussy ring caught

and something cracket across the backyard? You know, I do have a minivan and I'm not afraid to roll people over with it. It's thing after thing after thing with Teresa. Like, she's fucking immature. I know she's in the bad place, but I'm calling her out on a shed. I wanted to calm the fuck down so I can stop hating her.

It's like Jackie is in Greece too this year and I love it. I don't know. Like every scene, I don't know what she's doing but I'm liking it. Yeah. Yeah, she basically ends by saying, and she's going to be an asshole to me. I'm going to be an asshole to her. Which I'm like, that should be your tagline. In a minivan so now we see Marge walking to another fine jersey establishment called

Cisa and we get my new favorite Ampheleric character not to be confused with Gina, ganna ganna ganna gathers and By fits so hard Life is hard. No, this is like Gina Yeah, she's like a her voice is like Jersey Erica Jane. She's like, well, I don't give a flock It's got kind of like a voice like that So March comes in in a green fur as Marches do. Yes, he's like, hey gee, you look great. And she's like, wow, hey, let me change this. Jaila wore this sweat. Jaila wore it. Jaila, Jaila.

Oh, I know where we can get our Coke and Jersey. Jesus Christ. I know. God. So, March is like, well, speaking of engaged, because you didn't mention Jailo was engaged. Speaking of engaged, I have to see the Duchess of Dick this weekend. Duchess of Dick, anyone? No.

Duchess of Dick. Joan, anything from you up there? No. Notes, any notes? Seagull, like, oh, no, nothing. OK, all right. I'm just a dick. I'm referring to Daniel.

Daniel, Daniel. That's right. Daniel. That's just a right. I'm just a dick. I'm refringed in you. Daniel, Daniel, that's just a dick. That's just a dick. Anybody? Can we get somebody in this audience? I mean, it's so wrong. You can't live in a dick joke that the classic March came up with. So imagine Marge is like that, even if she's just walking around at home. That's just a dick.

Anybody? Anybody out there? Anyone? Toaster out the duchess dicks? What do we got to do right here? Yeah. So she's like, wow, wow, that's the bullet with that one. That's the bullet. And you know what?

You can take my bullet, because she gave me a bullet. It's like, OK, Koki, Robert. What the fuck are you even talking about? I'm talking about how dare you invoke that name. So basically, this whole Danielle situation, for those of you who were not paying attention to Danielle Stobbs, Rowman's, Rowman's, this guy named Oliver, he is like a duke, they had this crazy one week engagement situation, I don't know what even is happening with this.

I was crazy, do you know any of the gossip you guys did this? Did you read it at the time? So I love this when it was happening. Okay, so she meets this guy who's obviously will get to that. She meets this random guy, she's like, he's a dude. He's a dude. You know, Danielle. So then the daughter or somebody, by the way, you can't sue me because I don't even remember if any of this is true or if it's a fever dream. Like I literally don't know. But I think this is what I read. That she was keeping him, like the daughter was accusing her of drugging him up and keeping him away from the family. And he couldn't, like nobody could contact this guy,

but Danielle would be like putting him on Instagram live and he'd be like, like weekend at Bernie's, you know? I was like, I found a dude, I found a dude. And he's like, whoa. And they're like, I found a duke, a duke, a duke. And he's like, whoa. And they're like, is he dead? What's wrong with the guy? Is she drugging the guy?

Like, what is wrong with the duke? I mean, it was amazing, and I cannot believe they're not getting it on camera. Same on you, so. I know. All of Danielle. I mean, that woman is working hard for her screen time. So, and then, so that was already pretty messy.

And then we find out that this guy was dating Gina, the new Gina, and that they were, were they like engaged? I think they were engaged, right? Gina was, Gina was engaged to me is astounding. It's astounding what she done to me. And Marge is like, yeah, you know, they were dating for seven months, and all the filter rich guy, and we didn't get to smell the money, she doesn't care who's dick she has to suck together.

And I was like, that's an admirable quality. I mean, look, plenty of us suck dick, the dick of poor guys all the time. Like, what is wrong with raising the dick bar a little bit, you know? Don't make me stand up for Danielle Barge. I'm not expecting this season to turn into this, you know. I just, like, go, Danielle! I just love when people are always surprised.

Because Gina is like, I mean, what sort of person does this to a friend? And it's like eating raw chicken. Like, yeah, like, you knew what you were getting into. Like, you knew you were going to get salmonella. Eating raw chicken. Like, you were the one who chose to be friends with Danielle. Like, you just, you know chicken. Uh, so let's see here.

So, girl code. Gina's like, girl code is you never sleep with the husband or the boyfriend of a friend. That's the girl code. What's monster code, though? I'm very hot all the sudden. I'm so sorry. I know it's a hot scene, about Daniel stop giving out those bejes.

Oh god someone posted Daniels porn had the other day on a Facebook group. Oh no. And I didn't watch it because I don't know like who know like literally it's probably too lazy to press the button. But I was like I don't want to watch it. I just want read the comments describing it oh my god the shit was hilarious people are like what was that hanging out of her was that an onion bagel because she was talking about an onion bagel and they were like no she was just saying that she ate an onion bagel she didn't want to smell like an onion bagel and they're like but what minute what minute mark is the onion bagel. And they're like, but what minute mark is the onion bagel

at? And they're like, that's like minute 27. I was like, how long is this? What is this, Daniel Maid? I'm not even making that shit out. This world is legit, Craig. Corn code 101. You just get to the action you know no one in

bagels and yeah don't have any in bagels first good rule for life just and anything that you're gonna do a good rule is don't have an onion bagel first getting married today oh yeah check with our sideline people who get to see the background. Hello, sides. My best part is to get in my best part. So now we go to what is truly the saddest obstacle course in the history of television. This is. It is a cold, blustery day.

The grass is brown. And they've like, just, this is basically obstacle number one. Here's number two. And they've got like, they put like three dominoes on the ground and they're like, the puzzle is like, arranged in a numerical order. Like here. All right ladies, we've set one trash can,

train up. We've set one trash can up that looks normal. We've set one trash can up that's blue. Here's the plastic bottle. that looks normal, we've set one trash can up to its blue. He's a plastic bottle. Ha ha ha ha ha. With trash can, the plastic bottle goes into. And they're just like, tomagrounds.

They're just littering. So Jennifer shows up, Jennifer and Dolores are there. And it's called grit and wit. Red wit. So Jennifer and Dolores are there and Jennifer is like, so who's coming to this thing anyway? Dolores? Oh my God. This like made my night. She goes, well, Teresa is coming with Rosanna and Rosanna. It's coming with Rosanna and Rosanna. I was like, what? Rosanna and Rosanna.

No, not Rosanna, Dana. Just Rosanna and Rosanna. Rosanna and Rosanna. A Jody, wine and Jody, two coming now. Rosanna and Rosanna. Joe, Joe, Joe, Frank, Frank. Rosanna, Rosanna. Rosanna, Rosanna.

So high. This is Anna one, Rosanna one, and Rosanna two, Rosanna two. Teachers in New Jersey must just be so fucking confused at all times. There's just handy the wrong grades out to random kids. Eight of the Joe's past in this class. I'll tell you that. All right. Now, you guys are going to fight it out to see which one of you did it.

Rosanna and Rosanna. And you know their resistors too, by the way. They had to be sisters. Well, name the first one Rosanna and, I don't know, let's keep the street going. Your Rosanna also. So, um, March gets there and Jennifer, Marge is like, what's up with the Dutchess of Dick? Anybody gonna lie?

Anyone, anyone? Anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone,

anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone, And she said, can you believe the hostess didn't know my name? Everyone knows who I am. And they all start cracking up. Yeah. Dolores is like typical Danielle. And I said, maybe she doesn't know you. And she said, well, now you know everything about me. And I said, I didn't know your real name was Beverly

What What the the bee bomb she got so Ma and Dolores this was like Ghostbusters, too, you know like what did you do Ray? What did you do Dolores like uh-oh what did you do Ray? What did you do? The Lord's like, uh-oh, what did you call the Beverly? Uh-oh, okay. They're all like just like hiding under tables. Because didn't that happen last year at the reunion?

Where Mark was? Well, they showed you could change your face, you could change your oil, you could change your panties. You could get changed from a dollar, but you're still that Beverly inside. You have Beverly. So Danielle was like, who told you that? So Dolores gives us the backstory. Who told you that easily Googled information

that was on the reunion of a season you started. We're sitting there and heard. So Dolores is like, well Danielle's birth name was Beverly, but she changed it because she was in trouble with the law. Like there's a whole book about it. The Barnes and Noble in Jersey must look so different from everybody else's Barnes and Noble. There's probably a section that's called there's a book about it.

There's a book about it. It's like Daniel Staube's book. There's something about Rosanna and Rosanna. Staube, Beverly Staube by Rosanna and Rosanna. Hi, do you have that book about Danielle's stop? Oh yeah, it's in the, there's a book about it. It's the book about it. Did you know that they put Teresa's books standing strong and all of her cookbooks in the true crime section of the bookstore? That, I love some passive aggressive barns

and noble inventory shade. No, it's like the never ending foul. That is great. So, okay, back to this. So, there's a clip, way back in the day, Teresa, when she still hated Danielle, which was like really every season until last season. And she's like, she's telling Dina and Caroline. She's like, there's a buck about Danielle.

And she said she was involved with Kidna napping and she was involved with the Colombian Contown And Caroline's looks Caroline's just like You guys want to watch me want to watch my kids throw him at the wall This morning my kid threw up piece of ham at my face. So they're a book about that. My son's going to open up a car wash with bikini cleaners and they're just going to throw ham at the cost basically. My kid quit college to do bikini car washes that came with a mushroom smashed smash into the driver's seat for no reason no one can understand why

you want to talk about that is there a book about that Teresa? Caroline Caroline still has that angry face I saw her in a video comic comic bravo con and she is like house what I don't know it was basically Kim soul see acting Adrian believe looking insane that was a whole panel but Caroline was there too and she was just like very serious naughty yes so Teresa arrived this crazy like ponytail bun thing in her hair and then Rosanna and Rosanna show up too. Rosanna and Rosanna. And so Danielle's there and there's like awkward coldness

in amongst the group. And there's actual physical coldness because it's like two degrees out. And by the way, you know what's so hilarious is like we are freezing our asses off here and everyone's like we're so glad you guys came to Chicago on such a warm day. Los Angeles, yeah, thin blood. So Teresa's parking in March just turns to Jen and she's like, listen, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that Jen. Listen, Danielle

is a sick black widow demon. All right, there, I said it. All right, let's go on with the day. So the guy starts explaining the obstacle course, which is like, it's basically like, you know, one at a time, teams of two, we're gonna go through, et cetera, like, go up this thing and down and do a puzzle. And Teresa's like, wait, but won't the first team that go through aren't they gonna finish first? It is like, that's why we're gonna time it. But I did my time. No, no. Oh, Kapish. Kapish.

Avaginas are gonna knock in the one. That's what she asks. That's her big question. Our vagina is going to knock into them. Forgina's. So by the way, when I saw this obstacle course, I was like, this is the saddest obstacle course I've ever seen. And then once Teresa and Danielle started going through it together, I was like, this is the obstacle course I never knew I needed. Watching them just like plop over the sides of things and try to figure out what they call tridominos, tridominos,

what they don't start with. And tridominos would have arranging numbers together. I was like, this is actually amazing. It looks satanic, I'll tell you that, that like thing on the ground. They're like, make the triangles touch, Satan's nose. I'm like, what is this? Lisa Vanderpump board games. Yes.

So clip of March. OK, so Danielle's there, too, right? Yes. So Teresa's like, yeah, I can't wait. My name's Ian. Ian Danielle's. And Danielle's like, fine. I fight with her being here, because I'm the bigger person

than her, even after she tried to a dial A. I'm not a dial A. I'm not a dial A. I'm not a dial A. And so we see a clip of Marjist as well. She was at the reunion and going, she met a husband when she was a stripper. It was in a rubbuck.

It was in a rubbuck. All right, you can change it face. You can change your name. You can change your panties. You can change it face, you can change your name, you can change your panties, you can change things, and then out of the microwave, you can cook after things fast, just you don't have to use the oven, but what you could blame you really, who could blame you, but just up everything inside, that's that. And one point, Danielle is like, to help Theresa get over a one-foot wall, Danielle, like

it's down, and Theresa, Teresa like as is appropriate Teresa steps on Danielle to move forward in life and Jen is Jennifer's like she's bent down on all fours which is very good at I was like oh Jennifer saying funny things now. I'm a comedian that's what I do my thing is that I do comedy I'm a comedian. That's what I do. My thing is that I do comedy. I'm a comedian. So then we see the times of this relay race or whatever the fuck it is. This satanic relay it raised with dominoes or whatever they're playing. And Teresa comes in second.

And then we're like, oh, that's too bad. Teresa lost LOL. And then they put it up again. The score up again. Just so we see it. The Teresa came in second. And the coach, the coach guys like, all right, Teresa win. Yeah.

And you see they move her score up, even though it's clearly the slower score. Even though like Dolores and Marge Cley-One, this is America in 2019, people. Oh. Oh. Oh. So everyone gets a trophy.

Oh. So now they go over to Dolores's house for, like, the post-op school course lunch. Which is, of course, so Dolores this lunch, isn't it? It's, like, like, my step wraps, like, really wraps from Costco. Yeah. Mads has a Costco card. He lets me borrow it.

Yeah. Yeah. That was so much fun. And Jennifer's like, I love that we had teams. It was great. Have we had to work in teams? Because we had to depend on each other. I should do that with my daughter

because she got cut off from her friends and they're throwing food at her face. I was like, you should really just wedge that right in there. So then Marge is like, she's like, well, I think that's why Jackie was trying to tell you that the video upset her because you know, you were bullying her just the way the kids bullied your daughter and Jennifer's like, no.

No. No. Yeah, but what I'm saying is that, you know, can you imagine if someone made that video about your daughter, Gabriella? And she's like, you can't compare what goes on with the daughter to children. I'm hard to say. I'm not comparing us to children.

I'm just saying that you were friends. And then you did that to her. Like, the children did to your daughter, throw her food in the face. I don't know how to ask her to punish Jennifer. And she's like, how dare you! Like, first writing the get into a fight about how she's as much of a bully as the kids at school. But you know, the thing is this though, like clearly Jennifer had some off-season scolding from Bill about how to act better, you know? Because you know that like off-season, he's like, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm And no one like Stripes and Dots together. Mmm. So speaking of bullying, Dolores is like, has anyone talked to Jackie?

And Melissa is like, I did. I saw her and I told her to treat it and wander with the obstacle thing. And she said, that's so stupid. And then she's like, oh yeah, I see her on social with you two all the time. And I was ming by that. Yeah, she's like, yeah, I see on social medias, you two, I don't say none. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that.

I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. I was never going to be able to do that. No, that's not bullying. That's assassinations of characters. Everyone's like, that's fucked up! That's fucked up! That's fucked up! That's fucked up!

That's fucked up! Teresa is just now screaming the same thing over and over and getting ready to punch somebody, but everyone's like eating deli. Deli needs you to know. Well everyone is like, that is fucked up. We never thought the day would come when Theresa could say assassination. That's, that's, that's, assassinations. So Melissa's like, so where do we go from here?

And then Theresa's like, I'm gonna see you at your birthday anyway. She said a lot of fucked up, that's to me. And you know Theresa's just ready to fight because she's like blinking a lot. And then she's just, now she's pulling her hair like she's milking two cows on the side of her head. She just keeps grabbing, it's like blinking and milking,

blinking. And Danielle's like, I got this. Well, 40th birthday. I guess Melissa, that's another party. I'm not gonna be invited to. Mm. Yeah. And Melissa's like, are you saying that I didn't invite that's another party. I'm not gonna be invited to. Mmm. Yeah. And Melissa's like, are you saying that I didn't invite you to another party?

Just not you! And she's like, oh, you're right. I didn't invite you. Just no. You didn't. You didn't invite me to your party. And Jennifer tries to explain it as if, oh! Thank you. Wow. Thank you. That's the Margarita's spot. Oh, it's a oh wow some margarita that was lovely that's just I love when margarita is just a send out of nowhere right full so Jennifer she's like she's trying to explain to Danielle Washington

by Danielle as if it was like totally fine she's like no it's just that it was like totally fine. It's like, no, it's just that it was a business thing. And I didn't want someone who is a crazy fuck face to come in and just ruin it for everyone. So you understand, you know, Beverly. It was a plastic surgery party. You're not supposed to invite the before. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Uh, which is the craziest thing that ever called Danielle, by the way, before the multi-aftar. Like what do you call that? That's hard after. So she's so Jen's like, I'm sorry, you know, I'm so sorry. And Danielle goes, well, you said something that was very harmful to me.

It was very, very awful. She said, I didn't know it was her. It's your name is Beverly. I said, I know that hurt. Like, how would I Beverly? I mean, Danielle, how would I know? I mean, all I mean, I was so distracted. I'd just booked a flight to Beverly Hills and

Watching the real house as a Beverly Hills right after watching Beverly Hills cop and how is I to know what hurt you? I would never say it again. I've never seen better hillbillies Than the Beverly Hillbillies. That's all I said. I'm sorry So Danielle's like, but then what you knew, it was hurtful. You just kept saying it again and again and you started to laugh like that again and again and again. Listen, the next day I texted you, I'm sorry, I said. So you did it.

Oh, you. You want to see the text? I said,, I said, hey spy versus spy face. You did, you did. It was very long. That was amazing. You know what you did, you did. You did, you did. It was long, it was very, very long. It was a long text, it's good. Great use of emojis, great use. Yeah, and Marge is like, lie a pantowire.

Okay, did she text you? Did she not text you? This woman is Goku with the Bray Bray. It's like, you know, it's like a Regina. You know, you still Gina's Duke, okay? And now you're the Duchess of Jakes. Duchess of Jakes, anyone? Duchess Jakes?

Yeah. So listen, you can't just keep writing history, Daniel. All right? You keep hurting people and you're damaging people's lives. And it's like, that is not true. I do not know that. So you're like, yes you do. Look what you did to Jean.

Okay, that I did. That I did. That I did. I did that. I did that. So Daniel's like, I mean, you're the one who's having a four-year affair with Joe and then you decide to identify Jan with a divorce. What's your point?

She admitted that two seasons ago. Yeah. Past who-hurry is different than current who-hurry. Okay. We need to keep our who-hurry in the-in the-in the contained, okay. We just can't keep bringing up who we're from years past. So Margaret's like, I have an ex-husband that adores me,

I have a husband that adores me, I even have like a cat that adores me, there's a squirrel out in the lawn that adores me. It's a lot more than you can say about yourself, okay? Degas adeeks, I mean, dicks. And Daniel goes, it must help cheating. And she's like, well, you know what? Prostitutes, feck married men,

and you fucked a lot more married men than I have, which makes you more of a prostitute than I am. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You're more of a prostitute than I am, but that is so funny. I love that prostit, like you,

I have, you've waited more tables in me, you're more of a waiter than me. It's like, what of this is that? It's like on it's like on below deck you have to like honor the stripes you know. But aren't more stripes better? That's what I'm saying. Like doesn't Dania isn't Daniel like captain Lee? Let me tell you something. You better say me a goddamn apology. Oh you. Oh, oh, you did you did you did you did good job, kiddo good job, kiddo good job, kiddo It was long it was long not gonna lie So Danielle pulls out the best. She just starts going over New Jersey greatest hit. She goes, I am leaving. I am not going to sit here with trash. Home rucker. Be such a shit. And they're all just sitting there like,

you talk about me like that. You're a city. Can you pass the homestics? I just want to miss things. The Laura's eating his sandwich and she's like, you see this? It's where spirals out of control. Out of control. So when do we have Rosanna and Rosanna? Are they still here? Piece of shit.

Wait, piece of shit, co-core home-rock everyday! So Danielle leaves and slams the door behind her and treats like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, like those of us you should follow, but she eventually does follow. And Margaret's getting ran-masked. Like, ah, Teresa's gonna say she feels bad for fucking dead yell. Watch, watch, you watch, you watch it, you watch it, she's gonna tell it. So then, of course Theresa does go out to, there's like an SUV where Danielle's sitting in there,

like, I'm sitting in an SUV. So they, and of course, they're talking, and you know Danielle's being like, it's happening every time. And then all of a sudden we hear everyone in psycho, ha, ha, ha, and we look, it's like, every time. And then all of a sudden, we hear everyone in psycho. Ha! And we look, it's like, a chicken wrap is on the floor. The greatest travesty that ever happened.

I'm real househouse when you're judged. They're all looking at it like, do we save it? Do we eat it still? What do we do? Do we give it to Frank? The Lord says, a chicken wrap on the floor. Can I have it? The Lord.

And there's a chicken wrap on the floor, but we hear the sound of a glass breaking. This show is so non-fensical. And there's a chicken wrap on the floor, but we hear the sound of a glass breaking. This show is so nonsensical. So one of the rosanna's, who obviously, Rosanna and Rosanna were brought in here to be on Teresa's side, right? Yeah. That's how Teresa rolls.

So obviously they've been fighting in favor of Danielle. So Marge is like, listen here, Rosanna. No, not you Rosanna. Rosanna. Shut up, Rosanna. Rosanna, left Rosanna. Left Rosanna. Oh, now you guys just switch seats. Okay, so right Rosanna. Okay, now you're standing in front of each other Rosanna Rosanna. Shut up Rosanna. Rosanna left Rosanna left Rosanna. Oh, now you guys just switch seats. Okay, so right now you're standing in front of each other.

Okay, behind Rosanna. Okay, stop square dancing. I can't keep track. Okay, so okay, just okay, just okay both Rosanna's answer. You do one word you do the other. You just finish each other's answers. Word to word. Word to word.

So she's like listen Rosanna. Prostitute was in the book. It wasn't a confidence. All right, I'm just gonna say she's pure evil. She's evil, she's broken, she's the broken person. Some of this is like, it's not that she's broken, it's that she wants to break other people. And chicken wraps.

And Rosanna or Rosanna, whichever other one, is like, what's breaking other people that she's doing, huh? It's like a Rosanna. The Rosanna's were very judgey, I felt. They were very like whatever Teresa says, which I think Teresa doesn't need that. I need to see Teresa kicking some ass. I don't need two big ladies named rosanna standing in front of Teresa.

Okay. I'm open to it. Just because they're both named rosanna. I got the rosanna and the rosanna here. Rosanna, man got the Rosanna and the Rosanna here. Red Nanny, red Nanny. So then of course Teresa does what everybody thought she was gonna do. She comes back and I think... I know, I think she felt off voice abuse was coming out of her.

Yeah, of course Rosanna and Rosanna are like... I have to agree. I have to agree. Thanks Rosanna, thanks for checking in. Too bad a too, Rosanna is agreed. All right? That was the lie. Rosanna's squared. So Margaret's like, did you hear what she said?

She said that I slept with a married guy for four years. Okay. She said, I mean, you sleep with a married guy for you. You're a whore. You know, like you did it. And Teresa's like, Annie a a hoooong, Annie, a hoooong, and March goes, yeah, non-stop, poor, non-stop, poor. I'm glad you wrote it down because I thought she said non-sequeter. No, no, not on New Jersey. I didn't think that was a crazy thing. I read around it twice. I was like,

did she say non-sequent? If you ever hear where you're like, did they say that? Try to think of a way to incorporate a horn to it and then that's what it was. Like non-sequent or. Yeah. Non-sequent or.

Were they talking about lipid or no? They're talking about lipo for the horn. Now there's a business. So Marge is now mad at Teresa, right? Because Teresa is standing up for Mars or whatever. And then Marge is now mad at Teresa, right? Because Teresa is standing up for March or whatever. And then Marge is like, Teresa, you mad at me for calling dead yellow. And then it cuts the, yep, whoa, past it to the wall, past it to the wall. And then it cuts the wall, past it to the wall. Who, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Which will never get old and March goes dead yell prostitute. What's the problem?

So then Melissa's like that's why I didn't invite it in my party And I'm sure you said yes. Yeah, that's just like oils and vinegar Oil and vinegar that you shake up and put on salads and And then everyone at the same time goes oil and water. And she goes, yeah, like oil and vinegar. The chef Teresa. Yeah, she has a cookbook. And then the last line of the episode, Teresa goes, tomato, tomato, what else.

It's like pretty much sums up Teresa. Yep, it does. That brings us to pretty much sums up to Lisa, everybody. Yep, it does. That brings us to the end. Thank you guys so much. We'll meet again. Hopefully we'll see a bunch of you guys at the next show tonight. Thank you.

We'll be talking about the real housewives of New York City. Love you guys. Love you Chicago. Good night. Bye, go, goodbye! app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.