Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Scrolling in the Deep - Live from Philly

Episode Date: March 18, 2022

This week on Real Housewives of New Jersey, Luis confronts the rumors about his past (by not confronting them at all) and then love bombs Teresa with a scroll of endearments. Plus, we learn the vital difference between Taylor Ham and pork rolls.Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some raunchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Good bye, Carl!

Watch what crap moves, Watch what crap moves, Goodbye, Carl! I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll

I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll I'm a troll, I'm a troll, I'm a troll Oh That crack put away Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone You guys hello happy St. Patrick's Day called them it Hopper some hotters that that's my a daisy impersonation melodic sailing yacht Totally totally cartoony. I apologize to all the Irish people. So amazing to be in Philadelphia. I know. What a city, so much history.

And what a great night to recap real housewives of New Jersey, because this city has the biggest blowjob bell I've ever seen in my life. I think he's in my life. I think he's in a class case. Frankie's done a lot of work here, a lot of work. Whenever Frankie needs a blowjob in his dorm, it's like, go! Security guards are rushing over.

Who years from New Jersey by the way Yeah, just over the river yeah Exciting so this place, you know, it's funny how every city has its own culture, you know, and I really felt Out of it today because I went to the Wawa Went to the Wawa You got to go to the wawa. I've never felt dumber in my life, okay. I didn't know how the wawa were. We went there once.

I went there once wasted last time we were here. So I don't really, I remember Aituna at two in the morning. It smelled great. The hotel room smelled great the night in the morning. Why is, why is Tuna at two in the morning gross? I was like, oh, I had some tuna for lunch. Oh nice, that's a healthy choice. I had it at two in the morning gross? I was like oh I had some tuna for lunch. Oh nice That's a healthy choice. I had it two in the morning. Oh Because we've all woken up with

pre-night tuna 70 ways, so I go into the wawa you have to order on the little computer don't put me in front of a touchscreen I'm I'm too dumb for this place. I'm telling you. So I'm scrolling through the thing, I'm making my little salad, and I'm looking down at the little printer thing thinking, okay, I just paid some, maybe I'll get a number. Nothing came out. So it's like, okay, I don't get a number. Spoiler alert, I was looking at the wrong printer. Okay. I know. So I'm waiting by the sandwich, the sandwich salad thing, and I'm waiting for my

little salad to come out, and it doesn't. And I'm like, hi, it's sandwich salad thing and I'm waiting for my little salad to come out and it doesn't and I'm like, hi, it's my salad coming, I'm never 803 and they're like, you're ticket. I said, what ticket? Get your ticket. So I went back over there, I was like, sorry guys, I think this is my ticket.

Everyone's just looking at me like, the fuck is wrong with you, right? Out of town, huh? So then I felt stupid. So I don't want to go back to the salad place and just stare at them for my salad, because I was like, they already think I'm a monster, like an idiot, you know?

So I'm kind of hiding behind a like a pylon. Okay, so then this big guy who's all in green, and he's holding a newspaper, it was like a cartoon. He goes, whoa, look at that! Kyle's coming to Philly, right? Do you know what that means? Is that a sports thing? Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. There's a husband. What do you say husband? So what you're trying to say is... It was sports. It was like, yeah, love was coming to Philly, right? And I was like, I was like, oh wow, great.

Hello Kyle. And then I just walked away. So it's like this man's gonna cost me. I didn't wanna like revel because I don't wanna be fake. I don't know who he means. Don't know who Kyle is. So then the guys mad at me, okay? So I'm hiding behind this pile on

and this big dude still holding up the newspaper, literally scratching his head. Like what the fuck was wrong with that guy? I'm like I'm gonna die before I leave this wall, all right? So I finally get my ticket. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this reason. No, I'm like thoroughly invested in this story. So then I was gonna tell him but I wanted to wait. So then I go take it the thing. I'm like I got my ticket and they're like who the fuck cares right? Oh, I'd already paid So I said do I get my salad here and she goes over there over there So I went to the register. Oh my god. I've already paid for this fucking sandwich So I got all the register and I'm like am I supposed to get my salad here and he's like no

I said where do I get it?? Because where they make the salad? That seems like it would make sense, right? I feel like I'm not this stupid, but I am. Oh, I am. So I went back and said they said to get my salad here and of course everybody's in the mass. So they're like, I'm going to have to have a try.

You guys, then my salad gets ready. And then they don't tell me. And I'm just standing there like this. I've asked for it five times, and I don't want to ask it again, because I don't want to be that idiot. And I was like, is that 803? And I'm like, fucking 803. Take your fucking salad.

Go home. Who are you? Go home. It's just part of, I guess, learning the ins and outs of Wawa, you know? Just not being a fucking idiot, you know? Like when you don't leave your house very much, you can really start to think you're an intelligent person, but man, step into Wawa. I also went to Wawa today, actually.

My... Thank you. Thank you for some residual applause. My experience wasn't that much. I was like, you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to wow the audience. So I went to Wawa. Could you hold this? Oh, yeah. I bought a Waba T-shirt. This was not as fraught as the sound experience, but it did come with its own challenges, which I was me going up to this lady. I loved her.

She was so nice. And I was like, hey, do you guys sell t-shirts here? And she goes, show me, Mr. And I was like, I was like, cool. Can you show me where they are? She goes, right over there, Mr. She kept she kept saying Mr. to me over and over again. And then I couldn't find the T-shirts. And I was like walking. And then two people were like, over there, I'm Mr.

and then I was walking. And I was like, I was like, Dolores, where are you? And finally they like, guide me. And there's like a little stack of T-shirts in the corner in the deli case. So I bought this T-shirt and now I smell like cold cuts. But it's worth it because I got my wawa shirt.

At least it's not cheap. It's a cute shirt. I had to choreograph this because I'm like, I have to wear green for St. Patrick's Day, but I also have to have a wawa reveal. So, this is the fun part about Philadelphia, you know? Oh, well Philadelphia. Tonight it's real housewives of New Jersey. Just this is the fun part about Philadelphia, you know, oh Well Philadelphia Tonight it's real housewives of New Jersey night. Oh

Yeah, and welcome to watch our crap and the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about One more thing. We have to give a shout out to one of our super premium sponsors, Ms. Hava Nagilla Weber. Hello, my name is Yola. Hello there. Always love to give shout outs to our premium sponsors. Thank you for coming. Your boob job looks great.

Yeah. Good job. Good job. Looks wonderful. All right. Now I'm ready. Even though my sweater is like a monster right now, I can't. OK. OK.

Pramysl and the real houseline. I need jersey. Supposedly, Louis hits his fiancé in front of a children. Mom needs a cookie by pass. Did you call people in 10 of fly? You called my husband a croc. It's retaliation, baby Yeah, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you So we opened where we left off with the guys fighting the guys

So we opened where we left off with the guys fighting. The guys doing their housewives fighting at some outdoor places. Green Apple Martinez. Yep. And Evan has just told Bill, your wife's not a good person. And Gorg is like, yeah, your wife, she's out of control, bro. She's out of control. Your wife, she's out of control, bro. She's out of control. She's...

She's hit, bro. And Bill's just like, mmm, tutels. People can be nosy. What are you gonna do? Mmm. It's like, that's not just nosy. She's trying to dig up dirt on individual people, bro.

It's not like groups of people. Fuck with groups. Not individuals, bro. And he's like, I'm out. I am out. Words I've never said before, I am out. I am out. Congrats, bro.

Congrats. I'm leaving, I mean, I'm leaving, Gorgas. So he goes out. And then they're all like, ah, they're like, bro. Congrats. I'm leaving, I mean, I'm leaving, Gorgas. So he goes out and then they're all like, ah, they're like, okay, they're like, they're like basically Frank Gogat, I'm Gogat, I'm so Frank's like. There we go. Bill, Bill, what are you, Bill? Bill, Bill, where are you?

Ah, Bill. I'm a still leave? Mmmmm. Oh, Bill! I was still leaving Bill! Come on, Bill! He come on back here, bro! Bill's hiding behind the car stand. What do you call it? The ballet stand? He's like, come on, Bill! Come on! All right? There's no women fighting, Bill! You can come out now!

Come on! Come on, Bill! Come on, everyone wants to hear Bill! Everyone wants to hear Bill! All on, everyone wants to hear Bill. All the cars just have like Frank's alive all over them. It's like a free wash. They made me come get you Bill. All right, why is it the guy who's gotten this knees bashed in? By the fucking financial institutions, the one who's always got a walk. All right. Alright! Hmm, well listen, there are lines that shouldn't be crossed and I don't know, maybe if I crossed a line, maybe that would make me a naughty boy wouldn't it? Maybe I should be punished by all you bros.

So then back at the table, the guys have learned the word dig, okay, and they're very excited about the word dig. So Gorg they're very excited about the word dig. So Gorgas is like, you know what? She digs in everyone's life. That's what she does. She digs. And Evan's like, yeah, she digs. She digs.

She digs. She digs. You know what he can't say? My wife fucked up. Dig for that. Dig for that, digger. Dig dig dig dig dig dig. So then back with Bill, dig for that, dig, go. Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig. So then backwards Bill, Bill's like,

Jan is not the one who came up with the rumor that Evan's cheating, Teresa starts the rumor, then it comes back to Bill, up on Jan. And I'm telling you the same thing I told the back waxing salon. I'm not staying, I'm not welcome. Poor Bill, they're like we're charging you extra sir. This is not a get wax all day I'm day salon. So Bill's like I'm gonna get into my Ferrari. Man that Ferrari leaving, he was like buy I'm gonna get into my Ferrari. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Man, that Ferrari leaving, he was like, buy a rich, you know. I mean, there's just a sound to that engine, you know. Like, it turns on and it's like, money can't buy you class. Room. Down the road. Room.

Room. I'm gonna go screeching out of this driveway and then come to an appropriate stop 500 feet later Because there's a red light. Bye So Frank comes back to the table and Where's Bill? Where he is where he is He's like, all right, you know what? He goes, well, you know Frank, it's like a personal attack on my wife.

Also, we got banned from the back waxer. Bro must be fucking hairy. Right. And Evan's like, well, look, if your wife behaves like that, you're not gonna tell her this is wrong. I mean, you have to rein that in. You know, you got to rein that in. And Gorgas is like, thank you.

Thank you. It's like Gorgas, Joe, down here, down here. Yeah. Gorgas is like, thank you it's like Gorgas like you're right rain them in you don't get a bot collar all right invisible fence works every time shut up Gorgas all right you've got to ring them in shut that fuck so then oh Frank oh Joe Gorgas mad at women's emotions they really needed to cut to that christening of just Yeah those women emotional creatures So I'm case a little update on gender roles for 2022 Frank tells us Listen when we around there's man code all, all right? Zramas for the ladies, fun is for the man! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that I really love about this Brownite was that it was like a two-act play because that was first act. Your then second act is Louis showing up with his gum.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. I'm so sorry for the people at home who just have to hear that. Pfft. Who is so scared? He's like, hey. Pfft. Hey guys. Pfft. He has a very specific nervous laugh. That's

like a car starting. He's like, hey, he's all red just terrified. Hey, my suit is show up, bro, huh? And he's like, nah, nah, nah. Yeah, I bring Frank and Waterwell Day trying to get into this guy's, get ready for this. So then they're like, yeah, Louie's hanging tonight, bro, nah, bro, and we get the tuna tartar tacos, please, thank you very much. And the green apple martini. Delicious, delicious.

I think, and then when Frank ordered the tuna tartar tacos, it cuts a little bit just like clapping like. Yeah, bro. Thank God I drank water all day for this. Thank God, was it water made out of fire? You look like you're about to fucking kidnap Princess Peach We go one video game without you kidnap and print that three She's not into you

She's not in tomorrow either though to be fair. Hey, hey, hey, let's talk them about belt. Oh my god So you know Evan had allegations about him last year so he's stormed out. And, you know, you were the next morning at that house, Louis. You know, what was he liking the morning? Tell us, bro. Tell us what we, tell us what Bill was liking the morning. Yeah, come on, bro. Right? Tell me more, tell me more, what was Theresa liking the next morning to law? Tell me more, tell me more, did you grab this nut?

What was nut's like? Do it that, bro? Tell me more, tell me more, did you grab his nuts? What was nuts like? Do that bro. So Louie's like, I couldn't say, couldn't say, he just stared at me and stuck the skin off of a great. I really know what to say about it, specific. So then we hear a phone ranger and we know it's Louie because the ranger is So then we hear a phone ranger and we know it's Louie because the ranger is. Bling, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing And Joe has my pants. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So they do. And Teresa's like, Tell my bride I'm a kicker's ass, I'm a rascal. Because she believes that they are actively like Tiki does have his arm and Gorgas still got like a headlock.

That's not nice. Stop doing that to Louis. Teresa, give the man the man. Just show it up. Say, call me, call me, call me. What's calling out? Did they ask you nothing? It's Tracy there.

It's you messing with my family.. Is she messing with my family? First she messes with my family. Then she goes and drives somewhere. Where was she going to stop? I heard she was going in. Who does that? Like, Teresa's ready to just jump Tracy, right? So, Louie's like, they hang up. He's like, wait.

Gorgas sees this phone and he goes, what? You got to run in your phone as me a more. Come on, guys, guys. You're a crazy. Oh, man, boy, it's crazy right now. It's crazy. You pushy-whip, Louis, you pushy-whip right now, huh?

And you're a pussy-whip, huh? Come on, come on, say something. All right, guys, guys. I know you guys think she owes me stuff, but guys, it's wonderful. I met her at a time that was least expected. I've only been following her a couple of days. Usually it takes some groundwork.

So they ask him how long he's been single for and he's basically says it's been like 11 years and Gorga's like Someone's just laughing. They already laughed about it. So that is such a shifty liar answer What how long you been single bro? I was last married 11 years ago. That was not the question sir. That was not the question 11 years ago. That was not the question, sir. That was not the question. So Gorga, because he doesn't want to act like he was the one asking this question, because he doesn't want to get in trouble. He's like, show these guys.

They were talking about something that came up on social media. I don't know anything about it. You hear anything about this, Louis? Gorga goes, hey, hey, hey, you got a past? You got a past, bro? No joke, he big banged into existence. He just arrived. I fucking tune it to our tar with you and fuck your sister.

Like, hello. Got it, you have a past. And you mean his face? He's got a past. There was a lot of sun in it. A lot of sun in that. I actually do believe he's like, I believe that, if I do believe in a future where we know time travel that

whoever was in the future probably is just, we're like, let's just send him to the best. Let's get out of here. So we see, Gorgas, these guys were bringing up social media. So then it cuts to five minutes ago. A clip of five minutes ago. Well, hi, I'm Charming Tiki Barber. Hi.

Did you guys see the new allegations about Louis? Because Tiki with his double watch has just come to housewives this year today. Yeah. I mean, he is just like, I'm going to tell you the time. Twice, twice. I love when people who are already famous come to the real house wives and then realize they're already famous.

So it doesn't matter what the other people think of them. And they're like, oh, I can just say anything right now. It's fine. I'm already famous. So it's like, you guys see the new allegations. And then Gorgah, like, those things will take your lagoas, right? Not alligators, you fucking boy. Right.

Right. Benino's like, he smacked his girlfriend around in front of her kids. The alligator did that. No, fucking Joe. No. Come on, shoes. Here comes one right now.

Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So we cut back and Lewis like yeah yeah you know like here's what that was you know God I just like I had a couple of bad relationships you know and I'm sure every guy at this table has had a woman in their past who's gonna talk bad about you or not say the truth and Frank's like they've been pretty accurate so far gotta say hey you know you know everyone has got some growth some that crazy accident talk some shit who like run across the country and are wetting dress because they hate you so much you know stupid shit like that right everyone right right right so Benino's like but what happens because we read about all of this shit, you know?

And then, you know, like, what I would say is 100% of it is shit. But then what I'd also say is, I live with Margaret Joseph. So this shit is nonstop. Just tell me what to say. Please, tell me what to say. And Tiki's like, listen, we read it.

And it's like, did Louis do this, Louis do that. And like, I mean, what do we say about, and it's like, Lui did this, Lui did that, and like, what do we say about it? Do we ask you about it? You get your shoe, shoe, shoe, shoe, shoe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pass me about it. He's like, okay, I just have a question. I have a question about the physical violence shit, and then we go, physical violence shit.

There's no physical violence. Now there was a violin that I got physical with. Physical violence. It was a very different, very different, physical violence. Very different. And Tiki's like, but we keep hearing about it. So what do we say about that?

And he's like, a couple of languages. You know, the thirsty, the thirsty for attention. So now, how thirsty would they be? You're not famous? Yeah. You've been here five minutes, sir. Okay.

If you have a trail of axes, not just like one embittered one, but if you have a trail of embittered axes, this is a Louis problem, not an ex-problem. Well, have you ever heard from a happy ex of mine? No, you have not. If you have a trail of invisible exes, did a tree ever fall on Ronnie's dick? Hmm. Ooh, the math.

It's so poetic. So Tiki is like, yeah, look, I'm defaulted to believe what you're saying, but my wife is talking about this. So she also keeps asking me to water her. Does anybody know what that means? Has anyone here dated a fern also? So Louis finally clears the record up.

I'm so glad, I'm so glad. He tells us, let me let you guys into a little secret. OK, the girl you're referring to, I heard a rumor. I'm so glad he tells us. Let me let you guys into a little secret. Okay, the girl you're referring to. I heard a rumor. She stabbed a husband with a butcher knife. You know what I'm saying? A butcher knife?

Really. I'm going... It's like a... I'm already on her side. I mean, was that supposed to make me not believe her? Because I'm off for this bitch. I'm like yes Totally my question is what did what did that fucker do? So then everyone's like

Gorgas like so like so when did you know this about, huh? No, he goes. Hey, when did you know this of, huh? Oh, of, that's just, yeah, that's very true. Wow. And Louis goes, when I was dating, you know, there was a rumor about it, you know? Then why didn't you run, huh?

Why didn't you run? Have you watched yourself on TV? Did you see yourself tackle your brother-in-law and get hairspray all over his shirt? You're fucking psycho. Why are you saying why didn't you leave? I just, I love like this logic of, in an effort to show why I'm good for your sister and why you should all ignore all my red flags. Let me tell a story about how I ignored the red flags of my ex and that led to the demise of our relationship.

Right. I am frank, like whether it's a man or a woman, there's no excuse for violence and a relationship. And neither are handrails, okay, sorry, the law, I'll get those ready. But, just like Louis gave his ex the benefit of the doubt, we gotta give Louis the benefit of the doubt. How does that make sense? Look what happened when he gave her the benefit of the doubt. It literally makes no sense.

He says it's the least we can do. It is literally the least that you're doing, sir. What has happened on this show when someone's been given the benefit of the doubt? Two people wound up in jail, first of all. Marriage is a fallen apart. Sisters have fallen apart. And a table got flipped over.

Yeah, no benefit of the doubt in this home. No, okay. So Gorgas is like, yeah, but you got close to engage to him, right? And he's like, you know, I was just stupid. You know, man, you know, I wasn't, I wasn't the strongest man. So Louis is like the constant victim of these crazy women who keep coming to find him. So he grabs Joe by the shoulder like,

oh, bro, it's right. And Gorka tells us, it's a little weird. It's a little weird. But you know what? But my sister loves him, you know? So what am I going to do? So he's like, my sister loves you. So I'm good.

I'll go with that. But if I find out about that, if I find out about that, if I find out about that, I mean, I guess you're just really close with people when you know what they meant. You know what I mean? Like they don't even have when you know what they meant. You know what I mean? Like, they don't even have to make any kind of sense. You just understand, I guess. But I was like, oh. I just got distracted by my note because Joe Gorgos says, you know, if I want to stay in

my sister's life, I have to keep my mouth shut. But I was typing. I must have had a Freudian slip and I literally wrote, if I want to stay in my sister's mouth, I'm going to have to keep my mouth shut my sister's mouth, I'm gonna have to eat my mouth's chat. No. Honestly, I like that version. It's where condom, you know, it's a free country. Because we all, we can all picture it, that's the problem.

Yes. So can he, I'm sure. So Corga's like, yeah, you know, it's a little weep is so as when as women getting jobs. Like, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? All right.

So he's like, let's see, it's the Louis, huh? So they all do shots to Louis and Frank's like, seriously, Joe Corga, you fucker. All right, you're gone. You're gonna get up tomorrow morning. You're gonna get up for work. I'm gonna be lying in a bed wondering, should I get up and just piss myself?

You know what? I'm gonna give my bladderwork. I'm gonna be lying in a bed wondering, should I get up and just piss myself? You know what, I'm gonna give my bladder the benefit of the doubt. I think I'll be okay. So, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, Because I was watching the older seasons and it's every time they cut to a new scene it's like They're very fair. It's like Caroline making cookies. It's like What are the man's does you never really know what dark things gonna happen next, right? Well, that's true So this one's like It's very upbeat. It's like a car. It's like a car van a commercial

It's like someone just sold their car very easily. So, they're all happy. So, it's like the things going on around Jersey, you know, Gora Gahini, he needs a talent all of the, because he's so long over. And he's not hotburn. Margaret is waking up Joe, or you know, just perch there waiting for Joe to wake up when Margaret wants to gossip Joe Benino's lying in bed like this like Naughty and Margaret sitting there on the bed Chris cross applesauce like Joe Joe wake up now Joe Tiny little hamster eyes. I mean your blood shot. Look at you And then they showed a wide shot. Did you see this?

Sorry. No. There was a wide shot of Joe and his bed. And on his nightstand, there was like a tape measure. And I just... I love to think that a night, like before they go to bed, Margaret's like reading a book, and Joe's just looking at a tape measure. Oh. Now, this is what four feet looks like. Let's go a little further tonight, four and a half. Hey, Mogy, do you see this?

You have a C5 feet, huh? So awkward, it's not like none of us get that, but at the same time, like, put it away. Just put things away. I'm on a diet, so I've got that thing out constantly. Because they say when you lose 10, like, what does that have many pounds do you lose to gain an inch of weiner? It's true because your Foupa starts to like recede.

Hopefully it's like one pound. Yeah. Oh, receding Foupa. So I've gone from like Fupa with a button to like Like a turtle with a little tail So then we go over to Jackie in Evans House and Evan comes in from the gym and Jackie's like, Evan, you already worked out? I thought you'd be hungover. And he's like, yeah, I worked out.

He goes, he goes, I have a secret, a glass of water for every drink that I have, huh? God, it's great to know that we went to keg parties, right? High five, ragers keg. That's hard to oridee. Keg parties. So fun. Keg. Keg parties.

Stant keg. I was mean, I did. We drink. Stant keg. So then we got a Joe and Melissa and Goraga's like, you know, and then, Tiki brought up those alligators. She's like, what? Abusive alligators.

I was like, bro. And then over at Teresa's house, Teresa's dealing with Louis. She's basically like Louis mom. And she's like, hey, babes, are you a through-up twice? And he's like, yeah, I do up twice. Good roll. Ah.

Now we ain we use them. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Like both of them together. I mean, even friend-dressurer is at home like, ow. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ow. So back to Margaret, she's like, OK, Joe. So did anyone ask Louie about the allegations? Anyone, Joe? Well, yeah, I memorized my lines. Like, you told me, too, Joe, so did anyone ask Louis about the allegations, anyone, Joe? Well, yeah, I memorized my lines, like you told me too,

but I didn't even have to say I'm. Okay, Joe, put down the tape measure, okay, I know it's your favorite book, all right? So just talk to me, look at me and you're beating a little eyes into my eyes, okay? He's like, but then he told us this supposedly, his ex-girlfriend stabbed her last husband with a knife What the fuck does that have to do with anything that is the correct answer

That is the correct answer that is that is Saturday but especially discredit her so what people who stab other people can't be mistreated. I mean come on I mean what you want a butter knife. I think it's pretty cool. He used a bunch of division knife I mean, what do you want? Butterknife, I think it's pretty cool. He's the budgeted pigeon knife. So Joe is like, well, he's trying to discredit or to deflect more of these abuse allegations. And she's like, oh, such a discredit, the victim,

this guy's like, this guy's real Joe, put down the tape measure. I mean, for crying out loud. So then back with Jackie and Evan, she's like, but then she think that that's weird. And he's like, yeah, but you know what? I think that he's a nice guy who has had some bad X's, and she's like, I don't like saying all X's are crazy, okay?

I do not like discounting women like that, okay Evan? What she know is true, all the guys are like, man, she's a fucking liar, she had a bunch of knives. Frank is like, I would never discount women. I like to make full price. I know, you don't want to talk about discounting women around this guy. The misogynies are idiot at all time high, right?

So Melissa, back with Melissa and show, I love these little stupid scenes. I'm wondering why the fuck are you talking about? Because it's my favorite part. Yeah, I love that. So Melissa and show, so Melissa's like, well, what did he say about it? He's like, Louie?

Yeah, he said that that girl stabbed the X. I don't know. Got that tickles. Sorry, that's when he grabbed my nuts. What were we talking about? He's going to be a brother-in-law, 100%, 100%. And Melissa's like, you know what, unless there's any proof to that story, we're just gonna have to go with the fact

that all these women are lying. We just gotta, you know, try to pretend looking like an uncut pepperoni tube is completely normal. We're just gonna go with that. Melissa's saying, he's gonna be your brother-in-law, we gotta respect him. Have you watched this show? Because you are actually in this storyline currently.

I have been for 10 years. Did I just segue into a Melissa scene from your Theresa scene? Did I just do that to you? No. Okay, it got scared there for a moment. I was like, wait a second. Sometimes it's like such a blur.

I was like, hmmm. So now back to tree and Louis, she's like, wait a second. Sometimes it's like such a blur. I was like, hmm. So now back to tree and Louis. She's like, when Tiki was asking those questions, what are he saying? What are you saying? He's like, you know, of course this is what he got out of it. He said his wife was talking about it.

That is the least of what he said, sir. Yeah, he also asked you about abusing your fucking acts in front of her children. And on top of that, by the way, Joe Gorgher got the ball rolling by saying, all of us guys are talking about this. But Louie says it was Tracy who caused this whole line of questions. Right.

He's going to sick Teresa on Tracy. So she's like, why is his wife talking? I don't even know her. First she gets involved with my family. Now she's using her husband to detective one. One time I thought what a appetizer. Now she's all the appetizers. Tresa thinking that the only people who would know about Louis are people that she knows. It's like people who you don't know also have the internet Teresa. It's fucking everywhere. All right.

She goes, you know what? To tell you the truth, now I got a bad taste in my mouth. It's like cut to Teresa just like biting a chair. It's like Teresa. You're eating the mascara one. Oh man. I thought it was palio string cheese. Oh man, I don't really have to lick myself like that.

Got really into character there. Yeah. And I lick the palm of my hand. Like, oh, that's the worst. Comes never tastes good. It was like subway railing. Yes, I've cried it. Yes.

So back to Ben and Margie. So Ben, you know, I've cried him down this bend so I don't get all the jokes. Oh, OK. He's still lying there. Like, just wanting to go back to sleep so badly. And Margaret's still don't get all the jokes. Oh, okay. He's still lying there, like, just one and go back to sleep so badly. And Margaret's still at the foot of the bed.

She's like, that's crazy. What else happened? Did Bill show up? I mean, what even happened with Bill? I need to know everything. Wake up, just press gossip with me, little tiny eyes. Get that tiny eye, man. All right.

There are a lot of people in 10 of fly right now that need answers, okay? So as by ways, anyone here in 10 of fly right now that need answers okay so as by ways anyone here from 10 of fly so it's like yeah Bill came and Bill got really pissed off like you know why because his wife wait for it his wife is digging I thought I was the opening scene of Jurassic Park with all the digging but no it was just the wife. Yeah, she digged. Doug. Doug. Doug.

He's like Evan said to him, you married Doug, and she's just a bad person. And Marge is like, what? Evan said that? Oh my god, Evan's got more than I thought. All right, what else did Evan say? Oh my god, I'm totally interested in Evan now. He's called Evan right now. See what he's going to say. I'm not Evan. Evan fan. He's called Evan right now. See what he's going to say. I'm Evan.

Evan fan. Evan fan. There I said it. So then over at Jack's house, by the way, I just only noticed this episode. This whole scene is taking place in some, I don't know what room it is in her house, but there's an entire wall. That's just glitter. You guys have noticed that about Jack?

She has a glitter wall. So anyway, she's like telling Evan, you had every right to say what you said. Okay? And it goes, well, I never even done anything mean to her, you know? She goes, well, where do you stand with Bill right now? And he's like, well, I'm not sorry, but it's nothing that can't be reconciled, you know? Yeah, so then we go to my queen, Olivia,

in the backyard. Maybe Ronald will out there on her training wheels, you know, and their teaching her to ride in the backyard on these training wheels. I mean Olivia. Yeah. Yeah. Just an eagle on a bicycle. Yeah.

I mean, most he's not going to learn. Yeah, just an eagle on a bicycle. Yeah. I mean, no, she's not going to learn. You cannot teach an eagle to ride training wheels right next to a pool, because you know what's going to happen. Yeah, eagles are meant to fly. She's like, daddy, I'm never taking off these training wheels. I mean, eagle, boom! What if he is never going to learn how to ride that bicycle.

So then they move into the shade and Janice like, can we move into the shade? I'm not so sure this sound is good for my nose. I just got to just like, I just melted onto her chest. Looks like she's stuck her face into cheese whiz. Whiz! That's terrible. It's not good for my nose, doctor. So, Jen.

Okay. So, Jen is still Jen. Okay. So, all of you are like, oh my god, Jen. Don't fall for it. It's the scrunchy. Jen. Jen is wearing a depression scrunchy. And we all know it.

Because now she's in every scene with her black depression scrunchy. And we all know it, because now she's in every scene with her black depression scrunchy. That's her signal that she's very upset about. Now, should she be upset? Fuck yeah, I mean, that's a horrible thing. But I don't know that I'm buying this depression scrunchy. Because she's like, look, I didn't even put an extensions or iron my hair today.

Ah! I'm gonna wear scrunchy and I'm gonna put products in my hair. Oprah's calling it. Any minute. So Bill's like hmm and she says so you feel better there you came home early last not with a stack of ones still in your pocket and he's, well, if you're going to come and, well, if you're going to come and insult my wife's character, I'm not going to take that. That's when I got up and left. There's no bros for live bullshit. I said, screw them, and boy will I.

I'm sad pitching that position. I'm glad you stuck that for me now. And he's like, I have your back. Occasionally. It's my favorite angle to approach from. You know what? I'm sorry. Okay. It was day class say. Was it day class say thing to do? Okay? And please remember that when you make these bill jokes there never was any conversation whatsoever any sort of

orientation So Jen's like, I've never heard you say any of this before there. Like, I know you don't want to be confrontational, but your silence is definite. I mean, sometimes you just don't show much in there. Like, I would like a little laugh right from you. Like, you've got 18 toilet raps. That's his way of hugging you. Okay, he got you 18 toilet. Confederate hugs.

Bye, get out. So he's basically like, well I'm an imperfect human being. Daddy is not perfect. But not everyone has the personality to be able to show some emotions. Not everybody can so fool the motion without a full orchestra rendition of the theme song from Rocky. She's like, I need emotion, I need dialogue, I need vulnerability bill. How you telling me you're incapable of that?

What part of fucking somebody the whole time you were pregnant, did you not understand? Also, isn't- It's not a very sensitive person. I'm going to go out on a limb and say, sensitivity is not really his thing. I just like that, it's like the past, like 10 weeks. Huh, why don't we have to talk about it? I just wanted to bury it at the back and never mention it again. I never want to talk about it, baby.

And then this week, I need a communication, baby. I need to talk about it. You know what it's called? Being triggered, okay? That's what it's called. That shit comes up and then you're like, I'm talking about this again. Like you bring some shit that happened up when I was five.

I will cry about it again and I will blame your ass for it again. Yeah, I don't care. I don't feel it the same every time. The pizza may be quicker delivery now. But it's still coming to this house. The second on triggered. We all have traumas

of our ice cream falling off of its cone that have not been resolved. Okay, it's all coming back. So then we go over to Gabby and to Lourst's house. So Gabby's talking to one of the dogs and she's like, Kuchy, your carous there, you didn't even want it. Someone needs to speak up for dogs that cannot convey English. He doesn't want it because it's a fucking carrot you dizzy, Dame. Get him, but get him a piece of dead animal. Who the fuck gets mad at their dog for not eating a carrot? It's not a horse.

I'm a mad at Gabby. The only character who's never done anything wrong on this show. I'm like, fuck you, Carrot Giver. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. So, uh, so Dolores walks in with Frankie and she's like, hi, Gumb. Doesn't the house look nice, Gumb? And the good news is that the house is finished enough that they can all, like, move back home, which means there's

like a chair and one faucet that works now, no railings and no other furniture in the house. Yeah, Frankie's like, it would be nice. It would be my safe furniture. Really, it would be nice to have children that know how to rent a fucking furniture. You've got a job.

Make a couple of galores. It's just like you were conceived on an air mattress in my mother's living room. Under the blanket, she used to cover the corner of the room that the dog peed in. Drop the spoon blow job belt. All right. You're going to survive this. So then we get a, we get like a miniature moment with like property brothers.

It's like property Franks. we see Frankie's done room. And I took a picture of it. I don't know. You guys can't see this. It's going to look like nothing. I'm not going to describe it. OK. This room, Frankie's new room is amazing.

OK. So first of all, there's like a bureau in the corner. That's pretty normal. Well, there is. No, it's not. It's like a bureau, then a bureau on top of the bureau, and then a bureau in the corner. That's pretty normal. Well, there is no, it's not. It's like a bureau then a bureau on top of the bureau. Yes. And then a bureau on top of it was like, is this a haunted mansion?

It's like if the haunted mansion took place in the Ashley furniture. Yeah. Okay. It's like a pyramid of bureaus, but then on top of them are three enormous like Jesus figures up to this tall. It's Jesus Marion. Someone on the other Mary. So he Jesus, Mary, and someone else. I'm going to add the other Mary. So he's got Jesus looking down on him.

Then he's got Mother Mary kneeling down on him. Don't be like that. And then the other Mary, like what they're armed at. And then a little tiny, little tiny. Little tiny, same. The Saint of the Little Gorgas, Saint Gorgas. It's a St. A little tiny scene. The little Gorgas, St. Gorgas. It's a Gorgorga. St. Gorgorga.

There he is. And then we know it's Frankie's room, because on the floor, there's like those two of those perfect push-up things, you know? And then, yes, circles, right? Yeah. And you push up and goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the days.

I use those one time. And then, OK, but all the stuff on his shelves, okay, so the top shelf is all little different colored pumpkins. Yeah, it has little pumpkins. And then, the next shelf, okay, this one's a little hard to describe. There's like a little theater. It's like a- It's a notivity. Oh, is that a notivity? Well, wait, I think there's a dog in here. Okay, so it's a little notivity scene, but there's like a nightmare before Christmas figurine next to it.

But it's not. Jack, what's his name from that? Jack Skellington. It's like Bob Adouc makes Jack Skellington standing next to it. Yeah, standing next to the new- and it's not a dog. It's a lamb. And then below that, he's on the shelf below that He's got a garden gnome and then a picture of him and I George Bush

And then an Empire State Building and Empire State Building on his desk. What a room to fuck it. I know I mean, this is someone who fucks a lot You're gonna have mother Mary literally looking down at the bed. That's why you're fucking so. I mean, have some respect. It's the thrill, because knowing if you do it too hard, one of those things is just going to fall over and kill whoever

you're sleeping with. How does the little tiny gorgah get into the bed every single time? Oh. Wow. So then, so Frank,'re they're talking about the house and Frankie's like he might it'd be nice if we had a front some furniture here just like listen I promise you'll have a couch here next week which I think anyone who's tried to buy a couch in the past two years knows that is not happening there's no such thing as a couch coming next week. No, I was triggered.

So, they out there, how dare she film with such promises of joy. You can just promise somebody a couch. So, they start talking about her mom because her mom... Yeah, Halloween is going in very triple bypass for long. So, they're really worried. And she's OK, by the way. So she's fine. She's fine. We love Val.

Because you know, I was worried. Dolores goes, you know what? My mother taught me everything to get to where I am right now. She taught me about breakups, heartache, divorce. But mainly cookies. Mainly about cookies. Mainly about cookies. Cookies.

So Frankie's like, you know, David, David's been a huge help, a huge help. She's like, of course, well, that's great that he's there for my family. And Gabby's like, yeah, I talk to him every day. I talk to him every day. No, I talk to him every day. I talk to him every day.

I just talk to him on the way here. I just talk to him on the way here. He's calling me right now. He's calling me right now. Hello? Hello? David? Hi, David. Hey, Maquaya,

David's on the phone. Hey, David, it's Gabby. Which one do you like me better? Me or Frank in junior, huh? Yeah, yeah. How much is mom's sock? Mom's socks right now, huh? Right? I totally agree. Nothing. Everything's fine. You've got a couch. You've got a couch. How can you get a couch here? You got a couch. Are you in the market for a giant Jesus figurine? And Dolores is just like looking at her phone like, pop, still nothing. Nothing, and David. Got an email from Groupon.

I don't know who he is, but he seems nice. And Dolores is like, really? You know, so me and David broke up. What can you do? Like, I mean, he's still there for my mother. You know, I can't be there for her all the time. He can. Last I heard, there was a motorcycle in the middle

of a hospital room. I'm grateful. What can you do? Yeah. He did some open-heart surgery on a motorcycle. It was very interesting. But OK, so Dolores says she just wants her mom to be OK, which we all agree.

And she says that she's putting her pride aside in this situation so that way David could help. How about David puts his pride aside and tells the fucking daughter of the woman who's asked to have a triple bypass surgery? Ma'am, thank you. I need to have a town hall moment. Ra, ra, ra. You know, some communication is giving, you know? I mean, I think like doing a triple bypass on your, well, he's not doing the bypass, right? Is he a bypass doctor?

I think he took the bypass and drove on a bypass. I mean, it's ridiculous. So now it's time to get ready to go places. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

Don't. Don't. Don't. So the evil, the evil, the evil is doing Jen's makeup. And Jen's like, look, great, baby, quicksup. And then we see it. She's like, look, she ends up like, looks great baby quick job. And then we see it, she's like, like looks insane. Olivia's just like getting giant sharpies,

like, and then over at Jackie's house, Jackie is filming another scene in her favorite place, the driveway. Front of that fucking garage. My God, you have a Chuckie cheese in this city? Get your kids to a Chuckie cheese. This is unhealthy now.

This is unhealthy now. They're just jumping. They're just like, all right kids, family jump time. Yeah, jump over the line. That's the game that we play. When if you jump over this line and then the other one jumps over that line over, it's a square that you jump the kids love at.

The kids love that. Yeah, we learned this at a keg party once. Jesus. So the kids out of here looks like I've been listening to a documentary about Heaven's Gate. So everything I see now I think is occult. You know, I'm like, oh my God. These children and their white shoes jumping over lines. Get them to a chucky cheese.

That's all those poor people needed in heaven's gates. That would be the best cult, if like really all that they were doing was just jumping in the driveway a little bit. Yeah, that's all. Opening Amazon boxes. So then we go over to Margaret and Lexi are sitting at a table in front of her Peloton bike and Margaret there

And they're with Bella the dog and Lexi our favorite British New Jersey in She's like oh look at Bella. She has some beard both your shoes my mom She's got some thought free and Marga's like try waking up next to the plumber all right That's not free. And Marge is like, try waking up next to the plumber, all right? Tuna breath sounds like a slice of heaven right about now, OK? And Marge is in her turbine and like crazy, you know, caftan or whatever.

So she's like, you know what I have to say? I mean, the dog smells, just smells, everybody smells. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to crawl to the horse because we're going to have a spa day. And I'm going to hear all the shit. I'm going to hear all the shit because you know, somebody abuse somebody else.

I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. Did you know that Evan said something? Tiki said something too. You know who I love now? Evan Dolores. Hi. Smudge. Hi.

It's Smudge. It's Smudge. Her of the shit stirring. I love it. So she calls Dolores and she's like, Dolores, how are you doing? How do you have your mother? Dolores is like, you know, Frankie's rubbing her feet. She's like, oh my God, you know what Dolores,

you don't have to be so strong all the time. That's why I'm gonna do a spa day for you. Okay, all the girls are gonna go to spa together. And she's like, honestly, I spent my life so much alone, it's really nice to have friends like you. Now, I want you to get accepted. I'm not gonna, it's gonna be, where we go is gonna be a surprise, but he has a hint. The town is not called Nine a Drive. Think about it, think about it. It's not called. That's not gonna happen. That's not that. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool.

That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool.

That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool.

That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's for television. I mean. I mean, come on. Lexi is sitting here at Quote, Quote, Work. Dress like the baptists are coming to Tenerfly.

All right, look at that. It's television to the Lord. Come out. So, you know, I'm going to invite everyone, but I'm not going to invite Jennifer, okay? Because I just don't want tension from her. Okay, it is supposed to be a relaxing day, and it can't be relaxing if we can't gossip behind her back, okay? And you know I love some orange, but this is some bullshit. You have to invite Jennifer, she's on the show with you.

And also Dolores is team Jennifer. So why are you doing this for Dolores is sake, inviteite them. Stop trying to get Jen not cast on this show. I need Jen on this show. Yeah, you need to, you can't ice out the person you hate the most because it always works against you. So don't do it, everyone. And on here who's going to be on a housewives show, don't do that.

Oh wait. Beaturisa, except for the psychotic breaks and violence that happens like three times a season. And terrible taste in men. Always be the victim. Oh, that's your key to success right there. It's your key to success. Speaking of Teresa, we now go over to her house where... Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh That is both Teresa's voice and the sound of Joji Dice's Tyrak just going around.

So, who cares? So what? So what? So what? So what? Who cares? So what? So what?

So what? Who cares? So Teresa's in her closet. Gains up for my dick. Ha! I come here. That's my, I come here. So Teresa's in her closet. Gangsta for my dick! Ha ha! I come here, this is my come here, that's my come here. So Gabriella and Jia come in and I mean they look super excited to be here as usual. Yeah, they're like...

Well. They're also both wearing Gia's new sweatshirt line called Waken Up in the Morning, which is basically sweatshirts that say Waken Up in the Morning, but they're so bored with their mother and so annoyed with it that they don't even have the energy to promote. They're just sort of like hunched over just hiding their sweatshirts. Like our brand doesn't need this. Our brand doesn't need this. I love this. I love this sweatshirts because you could just add whatever you want to the end of it. You know, waking up in the morning with little tiny beanie hamster eyes like,

my husband, who I love, is me handsome. So they're about to like Gabriella's about to go out to lunch with their friends, which is exciting. And then Teresa's like, hey Have you guys looked on Instagram lately? Oh? Your children who never look on Instagram and Never would have seen this Louis video in the first place those children Teresa So they're like, uh, no.

You know what, can I? You're one year anniversary with Lillie. Yeah. Meanwhile, like downstairs, there's a post it on every surface. Like, one year anniversary, three days. And she is like, yeah, I mean, This is a post it on every surface. Like, one year anniversary today. And she is like, yeah, I mean, I was a little skeptical about Lily.

And she's like, yeah, cause you're not listening to things that you was hearing, I'm, you can't judge nobody on their pants. Look at me. I've been away. Mink, mink, mink, mink, mink. The only people you can judge from your past are the other people in their past

who still have people with butchernies. Exactly. So she is like, yeah, but it's different mom. I mean, it's not like you went away for something that you did. I mean, except for the stuff that you did. And she's like, yeah, she goes, yeah, and it's not like you acted like a psychopath. I mean, you did, like lots of times, but like it wasn't finally. I mean, okay, it was, but that's not what you were arrested for. It's a worry.

Teresa has logic that could not be destroyed. This is unassailable logic. Louie's an amazing guy. All else, you know I wouldn't be doing this right? You know your moms are pretty smart woman, right? It's like You were just talking about being imprisoned and you still don't know why So Just talking about being imprisoned and you still don't know why. So, wow. So, uh, so the entries is like, I mean, you guys see how we treat me.

I mean, he's like, you know, I'm like, isn't he great guys? Like, isn't he the best ever? Like, I love him. And then, uh, and then, like eating the best ever, like I love him. I'm like, oh. And then, she's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah about she's a smart woman, she can't even close her fingers to wave her fan herself. So then I love this, God, I love shady editors. And I love, we then go to Gia's in the interview, and she goes, honestly, my mom and her family, and our family, we've been through a lot. And it just cuts to, here comes my bitch wife.

Come, those fucking cut fitlies. She's such a fucking cut fitlies, bitch wife. Ttoa, look at her, look at her stupid face. Look at that, Dodo ahead of this. Oh my gosh. But that was that one we was so happy. Those are the good memories, that's what's crazy. Tries is like, ah, that didn't happen. And he's like, buddy, was talking to a woman.

He was fucking. He was bitch alive. It was a lie. Why, why, why, why? I was like, ah, ah. He was talking to online. He's not going to hang up. I don't like get it.

He's going to be fine with all of that. He went to Uber. He went to Uber. Look on the Uber. This was also the first time in all these years, at least I think, that I noticed that she has marble columns around her bathtub. They have a lot of marble columns on this show, but this is really.

So basically, the kids are like mortified. And so, Teresa goes, no, I'm serious. And the reason I cry right now is because I asked my mom and my dad for him, and then they gave him to me. And they're like, crazy. Like, this is what your parents chose. Let's not believe that, you know.

So especially Gabriella, we could see Gabriella why she's never on TV. She hates this shit. She's like, and she just looks at Teresa like, where did I fucking come from? Yeah. I want to meet my real parents. She goes, do you guys believe that my parents

and I'm told man? She goes, I don't know. She's like, I'm serious right now. Like, you know, you should try a gabriol, you know, I'll come for some. And then you can actually go that. And she goes, I'm not 40 in singles, so. I'm not 40 in singles.

Yeah. No requests. Literally no requests. She's been holding in that shade for many years. She's like, I think I'm old enough to shade my mother at last So then the next scene opens up them. I probably I love the way this next scene opens up. We're just Antonia yelling about Taylor Ham. I love a Taylor Ham opening. Oh, it was Taylor Ham not allowed in Philadelphia Oh, was Taylor Ham not allowed in Philadelphia? Book role.

Oh my God, don't start those on fire, Ben. They're starting sticks on fire. I know. People at home tell our families we love them. What are you talking about? What ham? It's, uh, there is no ham. There was never a mention of any sort of ham.

Yeah. Angry ham. There was never a mention of any sort of ham. I guess we really had a ham nerve. I was like, this will be funny. I'm going to scream Taylor Ham and nothing possibly could happen. I won't possibly lose the audience. Stripping the chandeliers out. Okay, here's the reason why I think the expression Taylor Hamm is funny, because it's funny to think of Teresa thinking there might be a ham that she takes alterations to. I gotta get my dress man, I'm taking it to the ham. That's my favorite thing on camera ham. So, Antonia is sitting there all pissed off. This is like a Melissa being a mother scene,

which I'm sure. So, I never buy it. Like she's cooking in mom jeans. I'm like, no, you don't. No, you don't just stop. You don't even own those jeans. Where did you get those jeans? So, Antonia is like, I don't like that kind of egg. They got the fuck out.

Get the fuck out. You torn ACL, I'll tell your other one. I don't even know what an ACL is. But you're about to have two torn ones. Fucking get a job. Get a job. Get a job. Taylor Ham.

Taylor Armstrong, what if we say that instead? So anyway, I actually can't be sure if you say Taylor Armstrong enough. I feel like actually somewhere Taylor Armstrong is doing a commercial for Taylor Ham. Hi, I'm Taylor Armstrong. When you need a Taylor Ham, I choose me, me hands. So, so. She's like, what do you want for your 16th birthday, Antonio? Do you want like a party where everybody is like, hey, Antonio. She's like, putty, want for your 16th birthday, Antonio. Do you want like a party where everybody is like, hey, Antonio.

She's like, no. I want to move to a different state in my birthday. So the thing is, so basically they moved. It sounds from what we could be together, so they moved, because they sold their house, but they moved in the middle of the school year, or at least during a high school time, and it almost makes it sound like they moved, that way the boys could get into a football program. That's kind of the vibe I got, right? Oh, I thought it, because they finally sold that hideous fake ass house of theirs.

Because Melissa says, we have to move, she goes, you made me in high school, that is cruel, which I agree with. I mean, I love moving away from high schools personally, but I get it. So she's like, no, but we had two Antony. She's just, no, no, no, no, no, you didn't have to. And she's like, you can't just sell those kinds of houses whenever you want, whenever you want Antony, OK?

The marble was spray painted foam from Hobby Lobby, okay? You can get it off for you, take the offer. Listen, Antonio, I know something that will make you feel a lot better. We got you a couch and it's coming next week. The Jersey Promise, the couch, they never comes. So Melissa, you know, Antonio is really upset and Melissa says So Melissa, you know, Antony is really upset. And Melissa says something like, you know, I mean, she should know how bad I had it. Because when I was her age, I went to an new high school

and my father died. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't need a one up right now, okay? Just tell her to eat her fucking eggs. And let's end it there. So basically, Melissa destroyed Antony's life. And Melissa's really upset. So basically Melissa destroyed Antonio's life. And Melissa's really upset. Mom's getting really into cheerleading.

My mom is the mother of cheer kids, you know. And she's like, oh my god. OK, we have a family calendar. Here's a family calendar with MapQuest to Dallas. I'm like, I ain't going to fucking Dallas. I won't even go down the street when they're cheering. Here's how I see them cheer. When they come over, I go cheer.

And then they get on TikTok, and they're like, I take a picture, that's it. I'm done. I don't have time for this, okay? You're not coming to my crappin' shows, and I'm not going to your cheer. Deal, bitch? There we go.

Damn, it is. Deal. But they could do it. That was fun. I like that. I like that. That was a power ring. It was a was fun. I like that. That was a good, I like that. That was a power ring. It was a power ring.

I liked it. But no support family. God. It's not loving the way we don't support each other. So now Teresa is getting ready for her big day. Oh, did you hear? It's way easier during fucking TikTok now. You see?

It's addictive. I don't. You say a tick talk, they're like. For those listening at home, Ronnie just did some elaborate choreography. I told you, I saw my niece doing a tick talk one time. I said, no, stop! She's like, what? One of the moves was literally this.

Like the double blow job thing in the face. I was like, no. We do not do that. And when we do it, we do not talk about it on the intern app. No. Privately. I feel like TikTok peaked when the cast of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip tried to do a TikTok move.

All they had to do was like, we've left her right. Ramona is doing the thriller thing. Because the thriller, you know what I call a thriller? Being married to Mirio, okay? Okay, guys, so we will get through this. So it's Theresa's big date. Theresa's a big date. Cause I don't know. I'm in a mindset.

It's your age, I'm in three. So, will he so good at planning surprises? He sent a car. It's got a drawing line. Okay. Louise got such big fingers. I had to get him an extra sized ring. It's like that's a bracelet. Oh!

So, she arrives at a boat dock and there's like little rose, there's like a little rose petal path to the, you know, which is very the bachelor which we all know is for real lasting love. You know? It's you see the roses and you see just like a nice trail of sweat, you know, leading to the boat. Then you see a guy run over to a boom box and press play and. He's like, ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Did you notice he was in my crappies jacket? I did notice. I did.

I worked three years ago. I got it from Amazon for $14. So I don't just like to give a shout out to that fashionable man in New Jersey with a saxophone. So Teresa sees this guy playing saxophone. She's like her heart melt. She's like, oh, I love saxophone. I used to play saxophone, which was like everyone just like stopped. Like I think everyone America just pauses and tries to have that visual and was like, oh my God.

And then she says, yeah, I told Louis I played saxophone in elementary school. I just go to show you a listen to me. God is perfect. I'm like playing saxophone when you are in kindergarten. Someone built a saxophone out of Legos and gave it to you and you said you play a saxophone, right? Oh my god, and she's telling this saxophone player, you know who's trained for years, I'm sure, my guest. She's like, yeah, I even know how to put my tongue on it. He's like, can you play that one song that I was really itsy bitty spider? So Louie is like, hey, hey chef, hey chef, hey chef, uh, hey what's going on? What are we going to have on the menu tonight, chef?

Go ahead and tell us. Oh, it's so romantic. Hey, Teresa, you want champagne? This is a toast for you for the the last 12 months. Be an absolutely amazing and you never looking at your bumper for trackers. I love you. So she's like, I know how you sound. He's like, why? Why'd you give me something?

Why'd you do all this for me? Why? Okay, okay. So, so, so, oh, it's a ring. Nine, the one of those things you put in your hands to make a pointy steal. Oh, it's a skinny scrunchy thing. That's a happiness scrunchy, not to be confused with the depression scrunching. Oh, ah! So then she gives him a card, and this is the card. Louis, one years ago, when I met his,

my heart was broken, and it's been broken for so long. Actually, he's reading it, so she like come we keep going so he's like this is the most amazing year of my life It says this is is Every day and night weird you is a blessing and then some sort of marinara sauce stain and And then some sort of marinara sauce stain and then something about you Oh, I don't take it for granted. Okay, cool. Thanks I like that flourish. I Really like the part about how much you like red M&M's now I really like the part about how much you like red M&M's now. She's like, yeah.

I really love him. So he's like, OK, now, sex guy. You ready for the big surprise? He's like, why? You're so good at surprising. All right. I got a little bit of a card. Hold on one second.

OK. Hold on. All right. All right. Here we go. Here comes our card. Oh, all right. I'm coming around the other way. I'm coming around the other way. All right. Teresa, this is my card to you. Okay. Oh, oh, Teresa. you, okay? Oh, oh, Theresa, I love you because this is 20 reasons I love you because oh, four dots, four dots. I ran out of space. All right Teresa you smell like hand sanitizer the good kind

You got curly hair I Love that you get confused by staplers You wake up in the morning Your favorite string is yawn. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases.

Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Bobeases. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Terisa, oh my God, this fucking guy, and it's in like a font and every... It's in the gather font, actually. Gala. There's no punctuation. I mean, it's just so this show, you know, a little heart emoji after every little thing. At one point it says, your voice. I love your voice.

I love your voice. If that voice was judged, all of the chairs would turn around just to go, what the fuck was that? What was that? Alicia Keys would just be like, huh? So your voice. Your voice. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! So, she's like, I'm like, wow, is this a dream? Is this really happening? The sax guy is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, guy was like, oh, he's so bored. So then they kiss as they go under the bridge. And it's very persuasion to bridge. Oh wow, what a, this is going to last.

This is. So then we go to the spa. Hello, spa lady. I'm Margaret Joseph. So you might name me from my changed pair of suits and my coasters, so my 300-cowd sheet, my 300-cheap, my 300-thread sheet. What am I trying to say? My 300-thread sheet count. It's like I've been around too recently long. Sorry, I've been around. It was a thread count. We've been to the

quagum's. Thread counts. I mean, we would call them. Okay, I've made a reservation for me and all of my girlfriends. The lady's like, OK, she's like, I know. You rented out the place. We have a flashback of Lexi booking the place. We're looking, she finds us, goes, adult spa party. Oh my god, full catering savata!

So, there's a beautiful, sharp, cutery spread and everything. And Marj says this champagne, she's like, I'm going to pop this right now. Pop, pop, good job Marj. Good job, good job Marj. Was this the same spa that Ziggy Fligger had that seminar in? Does it? No, no, no. You know what I'm talking about? Tomorrow's episode. No, no, no, no, no, no. You know what I'm talking about?

I think it's from Aroseph instead of the, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's like laughing in that, and that sees, it's, you know what, honestly, it's really an unimportant, you haven't taken notes for it yet, but this weekend we're doing a classic jersey where Sigi does like an empowerment speech in like a salon or something.

Is that, is that where it is? Yeah, it's like a little place, and then she gets behind the cash register and she's like, if you want to book songs, now is the time. Now is the time. No, no, the one I was able to add a spa, but I don't know why I felt the need

to make sure we all like stop and thought about that. Like guys, guys, stop the show. I think sticky flicker's been here. No, anything to just make this show longer. That's what we need. Yes. We just need a longer. That's what we need. Yes. We just need a longer. That's all I wanted.

Five hours or it's nothing. So Tracy comes in and she's like, wow, look at this. You're just like, you're so crafty. She's like, you know what? I'm going to be ordering Tracy. That's what it is. You know what else I'm going to do? Champagne popping.

All right, secretary, lady, bring me another bottle. I've got a poppin' from Tracy. It's insane. Is it anyone here to have any sort of facaccia crocodiles we can add to this? Because I don't make Dolores feel at home. No, okay. So then Melissa comes in, I can't with this lady, okay?

I don't know. Sometimes there's just people on these shows that make you crazy and you know the reason, but after all these years, I don't even care the reason, okay? I don't need to justify it. This is what I did. Ugh! Every time.

So she comes in and Marge is like, okay, you know what, this is Fiddle Lois because you know what, her mother, Valerie needs a triple bypass. I mean, it's so sad. She's in the hospital, right? Oh! She, that was great Margie,

good job Margie. Being in the poor family, she's in the hospital. It's terrible. And Melissa goes, yeah, because she wasn't Margie, Kachat, Margie, being the fourth athlete, she's in the hospital, it's terrible. And Melissa goes, yeah, because she wasn't eating right, you know, I remember Jen saying that year, fuck off. Fuck off. Man, how dare you blame my triple bypass on eating.

Learn how to make an egg for your daughter. Lady, who doesn't even know how to make the right kind of egg for her child? Doesn't even have a pork roll available. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She needs a pass. Did you mean to not even know what kind of egg your own child prefers? Where's the pork roll? This is a pork roll challenge. Wow. I love the front counter work these ladies are doing first-year smarts and then Teresa comes in and she's like, Hi, I'm here for Mangroge on Som Som and ladies like, oh okay follow me and she's like, ah, ah, ah. You have to leave a trail of Rose petals for Teresa to follow it.

Well, it's here. What happened to you? So Jackie's there now, all the ladies are there, you know. And Jackie's like, so Theresa, how was your one year anniversary? Did you find your nights at garage to celebrate in front of? You know? And Theresa's like,

he called me on a song song call. And like, all I had to do was read them the three numbers on the back of my amics and then a scroll came out, you know. He got a scroll from me, right? And he wrote it with all the things he loved about me. He said, he loves how fierce you is, like how you're honest in. Oh, my God. This is great material. Okay, here comes some standard. Okay, he loves Teresa's honesty or how she's so delusional that she believes in what he says. I mean, what's Galadon, on that scroll,

that was for you, Joan. That was for you, Joan Rivers. Galadon, body burn. Galadon, Galadon, gather fun burn, Joan, that was for you. So Teresa goes back to change and so they can gossip. So Jackie's like, I mean one year, that's a very big deal. One year 13. I mean, go for her, go for Teresa, go for Teresa. One year is a very big year. I mean, we know she was gone for a year. That was a long time.

So years count on this show, years count. I'm just dating facts. Well, you know, when I wonder if she's a set with that, we, all the guys were questioning, we beat the other night. Did anybody hear this? I mean, it was amazing. God, there was so good. What happened? I mean, I just want to read limit all over again, but I'm going to need some more towels.

Give me some more towels. This is so fucking exciting. I'm not a bottle. Hard to say. This is so fucking exciting. Literally every time someone leaves the room, she's like, I'm like, I did you hear. Did you hear? Did you hear? Did you hear?

Okay, how many champagne cocks do I have to fly off this bottle? Okay. So, I'm going to save it this bottle. She just takes a knife to tracey. I'm not a bottle. So, Mark is like, yeah, okay, you know what, let me tell you, here's what happened. Lee Weekam with the guys. And then he said, the girl that he supposedly abused, that he had stabbed her husband before that. And Melissa's like, yeah, but if she stabbed her husband, she's a fucking cook.

Who probably didn't eat well, either. Melissa? Exactly. Melissa, you're really trying to be a big eater. No, she's, no, but she's actually, though, I think we, she wasn't being sincere. She's saying what she has to say on the records. That way Teresa, that way she gets credit at the reunion,

she can say, see, I believe Louis, I believe Louis, I'm a good sister, I don't believe that she totally, I think this was all lip service. Oh, then there's a lot of lip service on this show if you know I'm talking about. So Melissa's like, Joe and I agreed to not sling met at Louis, you know, I want Teresa to stay in her love bubble. Doesn't everybody, what are you trying to do?

Make Teresa miserable. Which is true, because you know Teresa if Teresa ain't happy Nobody is happy. Oh my god. So Marlton's like okay, but if that happened the gravity tried to marry her I'm less like listen you've fallen love with people. I mean Teresa's been a way to She goes please it's not like Teresa's stabbing joke, you dice. There we go, it's getting another iteration of that. I didn't notice that,

I didn't notice that she added some sizzle to that. Teresa really muddied those waters when she started her off. And I didn't even like, my name is Jordi Chang. I didn't get to the rage, look what? You're not your name. It's not your name, Theresa.

Well, I don't know if you guys heard about this, but apparently Bill left in a rage. More of a sachet in a rage, but either way it was a rage Well you can defend your wife without admitting that she did every you know just apologize I apologize for your wife. It's what I'm saying and Tracy's like Oh Oh Oh Why the fight history talking? Theresa just hears clats.

She's like, ha. Ha. Ha. So, Trace, he's like, no, I'm just talking about Jennifer. I mean, if she just apologizes, at least, then they could be included in a day like today. You know, I call them and they can like, watch you will be coming to Narence. My name is she wasn't coming to N daylight today. You know, I call them and they think they want you to be coming to Nara's mind

and she wasn't coming to Nara's and I was like, wow, I love going with the text, and she ain't invited to Nara. Which let's give Theresa props for finally being able to figure out group text, okay? So I credit Gabriella went back. So Marguerra's a quote, you know what, she kicked us out last time, you know, and Jackie says, she's burned every bridge, and I don't understand why she's, and I don't understand why she would do that.

And Tracy says, well, you know what, she, you know, she did what she did because she's miserable in her marriage, so she projected. Oh my God, Tracy's killing me. So Tracy goes, you just met Jennifer, you don't know the relationship and Tracy goes, I'm just basing it on what I've seen. Google yourself, ma'am. Please.

So don't throw a candle when you live in a restaurant house. So Tracy's not happy with this. Tracy comments on my family, on Jennifer, on Bill, on Louis, on Shoes, on the sky, on potatoes. It's like someone's turn off Teresa. So then someone else goes to change. So Melissa, they're all standing in front of these open windows and Melissa goes, I can't stand in the sun any longer.

And Marge goes, you know what, come sit, I'll close the blind. So she closes the blinds and then Melissa goes, oh my God, it's like 9-day. The power... Literally. It is literally like 9-day, Melissa. The power of observation never eludes this cast. So then Delores shows up. And Delores, it's so funny, it's Spade. And Delores has as much enthusiasm for Spade as she does

for like waking up in the morning. She treesa goes, so what are you going to get done? She goes, I'm getting this scrub. Well, they're going to have their work cut out for him, because she comes in 10 pounds of hair. Like the loris is like, comes with a spa like her hair like this, like makeup, you know, a ball gown. Um, my feet are killing me. I spent all day walking from the kitchen to the living room to the kitchen again.

It was very difficult. So, they split up for treatments, right? Teresa goes in for her treatment, and then Jackie and Treesa come back, and then other, you know, there's a lot of turns. Okay. So Teresa and Jackie and Dolores are sitting there alone, and Treesa goes, hey, what do you think of tracing? And Jackie's like, I like her.

Well, of course Jackie likes her, because you know, she's coming straight for Teresa's ass. So Jackie's like, I like her. She says what she's feeling. She's like, I'm not mine. She's like, everyone's better than us. Like the other day, Emma Lissus pink money. She was like, in my business,

I was going on with my brother. Which, by the way, for'm like, what's going on with my brother? What's going on with my brother? What's going on with my brother? Which, by the way, for the record, she was not. And so, Jack, Jack, I mean, well, but no, she was, I'm not a brother. I'm not a brother. I'm not a brother. No.

This is your brother. You get to stand up for your brother. I've, all she said was basically, like, you shouldn't be fighting with family. That is not you're brother. I've, all she said was basically, like, you shouldn't be fighting with family. That is not getting all wrong. To read, that girl is sticking her nose. I would just start putting little cheetos around with rat traps, like stick your nose in it.

Stick your nose in it again. Nobody knows you. OK. Team Teresa on this one. Shut up, broomstick. So then, so so Jack Jack is like Jack is like well, I think that she's just saying what she's thinking and Teresa goes I didn't like Tiki asking my boyfriend questions is this is so Tiki

Tiki she's angry at Tiki Then she is at Louis with this cock a baby story about his ex Yeah, that makes some of the bitches nice. That's Teresa, bless her heart. Bless her dumb, dumb. God bless her dumb little heart. Bless her dumb, dumb, dumb heart. So she's going and she's getting that Teresa like,

mm-hmm, where her eyes are kind of crazy. You know, she gets almost to Joe Gorga eyes where it's like a bunch of maps are flying around and she's just trying to find that one. Yeah. So, she gets those crazy eyes and just starts blinking. And she's like, you know, she's just too much. And Jack is like, but Jennifer just goes hard at people, she's like, yeah, my mind's going

like, people, blah. She starts getting that crazy voice and the largestge is back at and she's like, what are we talking about? Oh my god, here we go. Here we go. And Marge goes, listen, Teresa Jennifer just takes it a little too far and she's like, ah, you're taking too far too far. You're taking too far too. You just have to know. I wasn't trying to hurt her. I was just trying to say she's a hypocrite, okay? You know what, I just realized why this line of logic doesn't work.

Too many syllables, okay? Too many syllables, hypocrite. Very difficult for Theresa to understand. And the Laura says like, listen. I talk to Jennifer. At first I got what she was saying, but the woman didn't know she was gonna have to deal with it publicly. She is wrecked.

She's on the goddamn floor. She's like a poor saline, a poor saline virgin Mary after Frankie rings his blowjob bell. Crack on the floor Every Christmas I have to buy a new fucking virgin marriage Someone's got to eat shit here Somebody's got to eat shit. Oh, we'll never move on Okay, then Final thing final thing of the night and it's a real hum dingo. Yeah, Jennifer makes it halfway to a joke that I can make.

She goes to a bagel shop. I was like, oh, it's not even next to a pizza place. You can't even look at the strip mall and say, pizza bang! It's just a bagel. So this is wearing, guess what? She's wearing depressed. She's crunchy.

It's back out. So this monster goes into a bagel shop and orders a bag, a bacon and egg on a roll. My Jewish heart is breaking right now, everyone. My Jewish heart is breaking. Aeg, bacon and egg on a roll. My Jewish heart is breaking right now, everyone. My Jewish heart is breaking. So she's with her brother, Steven, who is much more happily gained out.

Bless his heart. Yeah. Good for him. He's probably here. Love. He's great. He is so cute. He's like, ha, ha, ha, ha.

He's so happily gay. It's really nice to see. So Jen's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh brother even though I can't sing, I'm just made me feel like I could sing. Here is my brother. She goes sometimes when I'm feeling bad, he would turn to me and say, let me practice my ten of them. I have done that with my sister. I'm not going to lie. Till this day I can't listen to Kyle Nassam and without thinking of my brother. My sister is the sweetest thing. But God damn it.

Every time I'm like, Carly, she's like, shut. Please, just shut. So this is, it's really fun to watch Stephen try to explain gayness to Jennifer because she's really very confused by it. She's like, so I went to, I went to P town. That's, that's province. No, I know what Providence Town is. Province, province.

I know what Providence Town. Is there some kind of festival going on? It was bear week. Oh, that's terrible. Did anyone survive? No, not real bears. Oh, thank God. Teddy bears. Oh, so cute. So she's like, are you dating anybody? And he's like, no.

And she's like, but whatever happened to that guy, remember that night? We were like, day thing, how was I get part of whatever? How we were drinking? How the chunder ran? You were making out with that guy. What happened to him? He was so romantic. That was when I took you to Angels in America and you kept shouting at the stage, go for it!

It's not romantic when you make out. It's not romantic when you fuck, really. If he tells you his name, you guys are going to get married. I'll tell you that. That's it. It's all you need to know. So, Stephen, oh, so then he's like, you know, I don't even remember making out with that guy.

I was like, man, I need to go to Barreak. Barreak fills people with supreme confidence. Yes. So she's like, meanwhile, I'm sad that if I wasn't a virgin, when I got married, my husband would return me. Thanks, ma'am. Adjusting her little depression, Scrensey. So basically, Jennifer has told her mom, told her mom that Bill had an affair and everything

that happened and Cima goes, on the phone, I mean, she's in Turkey for crying out loud. On the machine, right? On the machine. I sense some carrier pigeons. So, so basically the moms are cursing out Margaret and said, we're gonna get her back. And basically, you know, they start talking about this affair and everything and he's like,

well, how do you feel about everything? What's going on with you? What you guys? It's one thing to live through it privately better but it's another. It's another how to go and get yourself a black scrunchie and go and public with it. Have not left it top of my ponytail. How do you think I'm feeling? And it's kind of a decade. A decade. Sorry I saw that word and I was like I'm'm going to go with that.

It was a very sad scene to end on, but in a few weeks, you know, Jen is going to have a scrunchy makeover, and then she's going to be doing that changing, expensive outfit thing from pretty woman. Yeah. And then that sax player is going to be back in there. Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, And a real housewives of Nutrable! Thank you guys so much! Have a wonderful same Patrick's Day! Thank you, Phil and Alphia! Thank you, Philly!

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