Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Shore-y, Not Shore-y — Live from Kansas!

Episode Date: February 22, 2020

It's another day at the Jersey Shore on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but this one ends with quite the twist, courtesy of Danielle Staub. We're recapping it all live from Lawrence F**kin' Kansas!! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm gonna try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and and try and try and try and try and and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and and Hi you guys. Now I see why you say Lawrence fucking Kansas. That's right. You guys really are. I was like, why do they say that? Yeah. Who puts a curse word in their name? I know. It's something we got here. And I was like, Lawrence fucking Kansas. Yeah. Yeah. This is my kind of place. You all will wear a blanket as your outfit. Yeah.

You know, I love a nap. People will just walk around, like, might I just put this blanket on, put a belt around it. Yeah, I went to a restaurant this morning called The Roost. That was down the street there. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. I can't get comfortable.

I'm like, job with a hot up here. I'm going to stay here, so I just need to make sure I'm settled. Yeah, I just elbowed you. Yeah, I was like, what is the deal with this Lawrence fucking Kansas? And I went there and like there was like, you can order different coffees. And I was like, oh, and you can, for an extra dollar, you can get a marshmallow.

I was like, that sounds lovely. I'm gonna get a marshmallow. And I ordered it. And then the waitress came by and just like put the marshmallow in front of me. It was like, there's your marshmallow. It's like, wow, I marshmallow. It's like, wow. I get what it's called, Lawrence fucking Kansas.

It's like fucking. You're fucking marshmallow. Yeah. Your gaze here, love your gaze. Thank you. So good. Thank you for having us. Just as a town.

Muzzle. My favorite gaze we were in in antique small down the street there. Girl, you know how many beads I bought down there? Like city beads for my mom's pearl necklaces. You know I was down there. Like my mother will approve of this. So anyway, we were in there and the counter culture gaze.

Oh my god, I love it. This is so good. This one dream. Because like, you guys, I was like, good game. Like I immediately was like, what are the gaze like here? You know, it's like watching the wild. He's like, you guys, my grandma got me, from my graduation, my grandma got me a quarter

from every state, and they were like, oh, that's cool, and he's like, yeah. I'm gonna save him until I'm like 80. And then I'm gonna sell it. Duh. Sell his quarters, okay. He's just like planning on being a bitch when he's a You know, a fuck grandma. Well, I was, so we actually got in town yesterday and when I was over in Kansas City yesterday,

Kansas City, I was also shopping. I was in a local bookstore you made a purve called Barnes and Noble. And I saw a book, and I said, I have to buy this book. And I have to read it some of it at least at the show tomorrow night, because it is called Night Night Avery. Night night possibly my twin. Nobody can tell the difference. Whoa, look at the two bears on the cover. Which one is me? And which one's my daughter? Can't tell.

So basically like sisters. All right, is everyone ready for this big story? Whoa. Sweet little Avery. Literally says Avery, by the way. Literally says Avery. Time to shut your eyes. The moon has come out.

There's stores in the sky. But I'm not very tired. I don't like how she. I'm wondering how my friends get sleep. Well, Avery, you don't support other bears, okay? That's a good question, Avery. Also known as my daughter slash best friend. Well, why don't we see?

Hold hands tightly, Avery. Stay close to me. Aww. It's really a door of relax. We're literally pitting our audience to sleep. But... Thanks for coming. We're literally pitting our audience to sleep. But thanks for coming. We're going to read you a bedtime story. Here are the ducklings waiting out of the thick.

They're all nice and clean, and now they're barely awake. Night night, Avery. There's literally a duck saying night night, Avery. Like, if that's not a Bethany, I don't know what. Night night, Avery. Night night, Avery. Come on, night night, night night, night night, night night. Night night, talk. Night night, night night, Avery. Night night No, no, not every. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It's the start of the day. It's bedtime. It'll be the very same way. Night, night, Ivory. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na drunk ass animal right there. I can honestly also imagine Dorenda as

on the hedgehog just like racing somewhere but yeah I'm here I got here. All right this is all read this last page here. Do you hear Lullabies as the baby birds sing soon they'll be dreaming beneath mom's soft wing okay. Soft wing, okay? Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo You wait, darling! You know what, take a bath. Take a bath. But I sure teed! Use the bathroom before the cabaret starts. You know what, wash your hands. What are you fucking monster? What's your fucking hands? Changing to your pajamas! Hi!

It's just all Jill's errands and everything they count down. Like you just woke up the baby, Jill. Put chlorophyll over the babies. The baby is asleep. The boy is this. Everyone to sleep, okay? Almost suffocated, Avery, but she's down. And that was the Caldecott winning book, Night Avery.

All right, let's get these notes at. Actually, actually, something very serious. Before we start, this is legitimately serious. As many of you guys know, when you listen to our show, you hear all our sponsors, your premium sponsors, and your premium sponsors, you know? So yeah, it's super, it's great. Woo, woo, okay. So one of them, one ofium sponsors, you know? So yeah, it's super, that's great. Woo, woo, okay.

So one of them, one of our sponsors, her name is Violet Coochar. She goes by, she ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar, you know? So Violet has been struggling with, or battling cancer for the past two years or so. And she just moved into hospice care today. So we thought we would do something to send her some love two years or so and she just moved into hospice care today. So we thought we would do something to send her some love from the crap in this world.

Is everyone down to do something like that? You're going to use your phone to do it? If you get out of this pocket. I didn't have any warning for that, even though I totally did. I'm not a very prepared person. Okay. Okay, so I'm not a very prepared person okay whoa okay so I'm gonna do a selfie and when I count to three let's all say fuck you cancer together okay one two three fuck you cancer we love you Love you, Violin! Woo! Yeah!

Love you, girl. Thank you. Yeah, thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. God bless that, girl. OK, so now for something that will help us all, real housewives of New Jersey. Yeah. Welcome.

That's what we need today. This show just never stops giving shit up to you. No. Now I've been in a rage all week long, as never stops giving shit up to you. No. Now I've been in a rage all week long, as those of you who listen to this show know, amazing. I've been screaming and yelling every day, like a crazy old man on the front lawn. I've been out there, I can't do it, I can't fuck you, I can't fuck you.

I've been like standing basically on the main street of the internet just screaming at everybody who passes by. It is so nice to have sweet misogynist back on my TV. I mean, real house-licent New Jersey really knows how to do touching misogyny. They really do. They really do. Just don't care what about it.

I know, it's lovely. So this week's episode, we're still at the Jersey Shore, which is very exciting. We're at Point Pleasant Beach, which I like the name. I like that it's called Point Pleasant, but we're talking about these people on New Jersey because like Jennifer Aiden, the opposite of Point Pleasant. Yeah.

Everybody on this show is the opposite. It's like a good ironic name, you know, for a beach. So when we left off was this fight in the kitchen because Teresa is like Oh, because it was that portion of the show where it's like oh my god Have we felt sorry for fucking Teresa yet? Yeah, let's do that So she's like I'm just like I got it I got I got it, you know what, I totally got it Theresa, alright.

You've got lawsuits, I've got lawsuits. People don't understand what it's like, but you've got lawsuits, you've got to pay the smuddies, these people, it's like this people, and this thing can be muddy, you have to get muddy, that's it, you have to do it. And Jennifer is like, but I think the thing that's a little different is that she's going through it alone. She's got a child. That makes that deathbrown.

She only has her entire family on a reality TV career. So Marjord is like, this one's on my list. This one's going to die. It's going to die horrible. I'm going to set this one's on my list. This one's gonna die. It's gonna die horrible. I'm gonna set this one up by a watch. Game on, game on. So now they're all getting ready to do to go to the beach and everything.

And so we're seeing flashes of people doing things and Teresa and Joe and Melissa are all like printing in the bathroom and Teresa's like, eh, the family that gets ready to get us, they's to get us to get I'm like I seem to remember Melania and juicy Joe getting ready together the morning ones shaving his back shaving his back Except in the past race just stay away from all home good signs to

Kitchen it's like a bath mat, you know. I'm stupid. It's like we're way from home, good science to a reason. Yeah, she's deported. So, instead of gather, gather in the shoe. Oh. So, yeah. So Jackie, so Jackie's all excited because Evan's showing up soon and Margaret, she's just

like, few, man, she's pissed. You know, when she's pissed, she's sort of like, I feel like she just like looks sort of in front of her for things that maybe pick up and put down. She's like, you know what, it's not the same. It's not. You know what, it's not, it's not the same. That Jennifer, she's on my, she's on my list. I mean, pick this up and put it down to show how I'm very angry right now. I'm gonna roll a water bottle back

Don't I mean look to this I'm gonna leave this and guess what you know what now. I'm really more angry. I look to the book So you know what I'm irritated already Jennifer what an asshole all right, what an asshole she is she says I don't know what she's going to be going through It's not a competition of who has it worth, although I do. I'm being sued by a whale. Who here is being sued by a whale? A cartoon whale.

The most adorable cartoon in the world is suing me. A cartoon whale. Okay, guess what? Yeah. I get it, Pinocchio. Whales, terrible. So, Jackie's like, well, I put her in her place. So what you need to do is put her in her place.

Which I love that advice. That's such good housewives advice. Yeah. So Jennifer Mewal is stewing over at the Laura, since she's like, you know, Margaret made a comment. You know that I don't work. Guess what? Raising five kids is harder than anything Margaret ever does.

Do you know how hard it is to tell the nanny, hey, take care of my kids, that's hard. Hard work. And Dolores is just putting on that lipstick like angryly, she's like putting on 20 layers of lipstick by this point. She's just like, I got it Jen. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha. So Melissa's like, you know what, Jennifer always tries to put a negative swing on what everyone says. And then we get that clip of the pizza party anger. Where she's like, girl, you know who the loser is? Us for spending all of our money on children's parties. She's a saver. What are you calling my children, stay back! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to Laura! It's like you didn't know she was in the house. And Bill Aiden is trying so hard to be with all the guys.

It's so cute. We've all been there. I mean, we've all been there. We've been there. We've been there. You know, we have. We're like, hey, bro. Yeah.

Looks like you don't pronounce it like that, you know. Hey, bro. Hello, bro's. Hello, bro's. How are we doing on this bread? A bread or a sexual day. Let's go throw some balls. Yeah. Oh, right. It's like stop trying, you know. So Bill's doing that. So some of the girls come down and Bill's like, hmm. Are you girls competing to see who has a better outfit and all that? Mmm, just one of the guys.

Mmm. So then Evan shows up and everyone's like, oh my god, Evan and Jackie's like, yeah, Evan here. Everyone's like, yeah, Evan. And then Delores is like, I'm so happy you made it. So let's go to the Jersey Boardwalk. Yeah, till the world. Yeah. So we go to the Boardwalk.

This is the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. Every time they show the Jersey Shore on television, I'm like, I would totally get bullied there. Yeah, like I just... I feel like I would step on glass there. I feel like a bully would force me to step in glass. Hey Ron, he stepped right there. I'd be like, okay, straight press. Ah!

They got me again. So they're all, they're gathering there at Janks. Also known as Jankinsons, but they all call it Janks. Has anyone been to the Jersey Shore? Wow. That's exciting. That's exciting. That's all I'veot. Slot.

Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot.

Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot.

Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. Slot. It's bad enough I already have one whale angry at me. I don't need all the fish in the ocean man too. You know what I'm saying? That's for you Joan, that's for you Joan. Uh, a Melissa's like, who does that? I'm like, didn't Joe meet you as a stripper on the Jersey Shore? Like, isn't that the rumor? I'm like, I'm sorry, I haven't watched the news in Jersey Shore

in a long time ever since Kim D was the head of it. You know, head of the news department. But pretty sure that's what I heard on the five o'clock news. So, I clink, strip up. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I see. Hmm. Good time, baby. He actually says that. Good time. Good time. Stick that celery in there, baby.

And then Joe Gorgah, who this whole time is going, hey, hey, we're doing shots, we're doing shots. We're doing shots. We're doing shots, we're doing shots. We're doing shots. We're doing shots. Come on, Bill, don't be a pussy. Do some shots.

Fuck your wife. Do some shots. We're doing shots. We're doing shots. We're doing shots. Come on, Bill, don't be a pussy. Do some shots. Fuck your wife. Do some shots. Come on. Come on. So Joe's like, hey, Dolores, where's your boyfriend? You know why he needs to appreciate you much more. I need to appreciate you much more.

And Dolores is like, you know what? I have my differences with them. But he's what I like. Listen, do I want a motorcycle in the living room? Not necessarily. No. Do you give a little, you take a little? It's love.

What can I tell you? Does he come to events? No, no. Do I need to have sunglasses to look at him? Yes. I do. At night does he hang out upside down, wait for a sound, and then attack tourists under a

bridge? He does. Do we have a bug problem? No. Do I have to get regular rabies shots? Yes. I do. So, just like, so Frank's, you know, just behind the Lord's like, you know, what's going on? Like random is spitting everywhere he knows he does.

So he even talking right now, you chewing gum, what do you do? It's just like, they're like, it's too bad it's raining today at the Jersey Shore. No, that's just Frank. Just Frank. So Joe sees to me, he's like, hey, wait, who's behind you right there?

Who's behind you right there? That's your soul, mate. That's your soul, mate that's your soul mate. He cheated on her like 30 times a day. No, look literally. Kassam. Kassam. Kassam.

Kassam. Kassam. The door was like, all right, all right, all right. All right. You want me to kiss Frank? I'm gonna kiss Frank. All right. Now Frank, don't get a rouse when I tell you that David Kisty's very lips this morning. They may be a little chapped. I'm gonna kiss Frank. All right, now Frank don't get a rouse when I tell you that David kissed these very lips this morning.

They may be a little chat. Okay, Frank here we go. Dog with a bone. Dog with a bone. And then uh, Frank's like, no what? I love the luish, right? I love it. But I didn't get back together with the luish, what? I love the lawyers, right? I love them.

But I didn't get back together with the lawyers, because could I be 100% faithful? No. So I didn't do it. I think someone would live. You can't cheat on that woman and stay in the same house. I can live there, fuck whoever I want.

What the fuck? I'm winning, right? Basically, I want this game. So then Joe grabs Frank. Is it they made out Joe Gore goes like yeah Also, you're how to kiss Fresno out of kiss this is a kiss and he's like See how they go for it down to you I love those jerseys from left. I like those jerseys guys cuz they're like them probably the most like anti-gay At least I don't want to say like they hit gay people.

They probably do, let's face it. I mean, all right, let's put it this way. They've probably thrown the most gay kids into lockers. Like they probably throw the cast to say that's nice. But they're also the gayest. You know, like they're also the open, the most beautiful, the most beautiful gayer. Yeah, so it's like okay, it's like some kind of karma,

it's like some kind of dick karma system. It's like, okay, it's like some kind of karma, it's like some kind of dick karma system. It's like, you need to find somebody for liking dick, but you've also probably sucked a dick. You know what I mean? That is like dick karma. That is almost the exact spectrum of being gay. So, so, so, so, Frank and Joe Gorgah are like, make out, and then Bill goes, hmm.

This is what I miss at the Jersey Shore. Hmm. Can I get a regular bloody marry when you get a chance? I think my friends have got the spies. And Chus. So he's getting wasted. I cannot wait to see this guy wasted, right? Yeah.

Commissions. Here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on. Some days, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident

not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job

in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. Jamie, she has no last name. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Let's run some errands with Emily Aron. You're the windom beneath our wings. Joe Windom.

Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Burke, you can't have a burger without the bird! Ain't no thing like Alson King, he makes us squeeery cheaty. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God I love that banana.

Anderson! Higher than Iris, it's Lauren Perez. Avonigila Weber. One day your Rachel's in, and the next day your out. Debate Area, Betches, Betches. And our super premium Patreon subscribers! Let's take off with Tamala Plane! Noob! She did it again! It's Brittany Montana!

Lisa Wallent. Now that's what I call Wallentainment. Give them hell, Miss Noel! Always ready for Nicole Passa-Ready! Better than Tabooly, it's Annie and Julie! Mortis, the Lord is of the Rings! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. We like her more than a smidge. It's Kelly Cartlid.

She's not just a sheba. She's a Danielle. Etchles. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. Yes, we should with Carrie Bridgewood. Nancy C. Centicisto. Simple as rocket science. It's Dana Eazy.

Kelly's Tom, the Stump Master. Somebody get us 10ccs of BetsyMD! Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible, edible Matthewsisters! Mina Kuchi Kuchi Kuchi! And, she ate no shrink and violet kuchar! We love you guys! So, everybody, so they all split up, which is always a terrible idea on these trips.

Because they're just where everything goes down. Yeah, because some of them, like Jennifer and Theresa can go shopping, etc., etc. And so since they're going to go shopping, Jennifer's like, Hey, Bill, I got some money to go shopping. And it takes out somebody goes, put in your pocket. Don't count. Because you know she was ready to be like, 100, 200, 300 Jackie, 400. Who wants an Italian cake?

Just got popped from him and resources. For my crevablit, difficult job, bitch. And then Evan turns the bill, and I don't know, did this sound weird to anyone else? He's like, Evan goes, hey, you want to compete for something? All the competitions inside. That's a boy, that's how boys are. It's like American Idol going on in there, what's happening? All the competitions, let's compete for something.

You want to compete for something? I hit each other in the net. This is weird. We're turn of phrase. Boys will be boys. They will be. So Melissa and Joe Gorgos start walking on the beach. They're going to go, they start walking to take in a romantic walk, avoiding the nervous.

Where we don't see their children. Yeah, it's like some public beach, you know. So they go for like a romantic walk. And then we pretend that Melissa's really gonna try to have another kid, which is hilarious. This is my favorite storyline that keeps going. And I don't know why, but come on. Yeah.

It's like a sister. They're talking in the light. He's like, hey, Melissa, see all this. I think of what my sister's going through. And you know, she just wants to have more time with the family, you know? she just wants to have more time with the family. You know, and right here on this beautiful beach, there's a guy throwing up a few feet away,

some garbage that just came up on the shore, I think that's a tie. What a wonderful world. I mean, you want to be, you want to have a baby and be missing all this again. You know, don't you want to be enjoying what we got right now? And then he's like, can I give you a little advice? You got healthy children and a hot husband.

Enjoy your life. Enjoy your life. Because he's like the new Tony Robbins now. We all know that, right? Yeah. Did you read the joke, Orc and me, is this week? Yeah. Please do it.

D-9, Lee News, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. So then yesterday, we were looking at Joe Gorgas Instagram. And he took to Instagram to defend himself. So he's standing in front of a decrepit building. And he's like, you see this building back here? You see that? I'm turning that building into apartments. You just look, and two years, this can be apartments, OK? So you want to talk about me faking things?

Does this look fake to you? I'm like, it is a hollowed out building. It doesn't matter if you give us an authentic before picture. That doesn't work that way. And he's wearing a muzzle shirt from what happens with paint splattered all over it. I was like, wow, you're really working hard to get that. What am I trying to say?

Uh, fourth sperm. say? Fourth sperm. Yes. Fourth sperm. Thank you. I don't know why I keep sperm shaving him. I don't care. But it's just fun. I know.

God, I probably don't have three sperm. Yeah. My God. The only dream of having three. Yeah, minor like crawling out. They're like, can we get a little help here? Can we get a little help? Come on, little guys. You can do this.

Yes. I'm not just being dragged out of the bar. I'm not dragged. Yes. Tarenda Spirms. So now, I think this is a good time to apologize to all the husbands who are dragged here. Sorry.

Yes, sorry. So then Bill and Evan are, of course, doing. Look, don't you? This is a male thing. Yeah, we're like, let's go shoot those little squirt guns and then pull the things and then you make the balloon bacon and explode. If I were at a carnivore, I'd be like, hey,

let's go play some games. Not like, hey, let's do some competitions. You want to compete? It just really bothered me, OK? And as a podcaster, I'm allowed to be bothered, okay? So yeah, Bill and Evan are like doing like, carnival games, they're shooting like the water into the thing to make the thing, you know?

And Bill is doing his trash talking, you know? He's like, ooh, Evan shoots blanks, I don't. Ooh. Evan shoots blanks. I don't. I have what it takes. I haven't done it. Let me beat you one more game, Ev. Let me beat you. Let me make you my bitch this time. Mmm. I'm simply the best.

Mmm. Better than all the rest. Mmm. Better than anyone. Anyone I could ever play a competition with. So then, Theresa and Jen are walking around. Wait, I'm sorry, one more thing. After they're done with that game, they decide to walk to fight another game.

And Bill says, literally, he goes, let me beat you in one more game. Let me make you my bitch this time. I'm, so cool. So in stream, Jenner and a Chachki stop. And Jen's like, my daughter loves Chachki, she's other, my daughter loves touch each other. She loves that. And she's like, did she have that box at this morning?

And Teresa's like, yeah, if she was trying to know a thing, you know, damn, it's wrong. No one's told Teresa how to feel about this yet. Yeah. And she was doing that. if she met the pancakes, she was doing Ryan. If she made the big guy was wrong. So Jennifer's like, well, show is

have to be the mean girl when it comes to me. I love that when the mean girl acts like she's the victim of mean girls. That is my absolute favorite deflection. Yeah. Mean girls are the victims of mean girls. That's why they become mean girl, play acts like she's the victim of mean girls. That is my absolute favorite deflection. Yeah. Mean girls are the victims of mean girls. That's why they become mean girls, guys.

It's the origin story, okay? Oh, never mind. I'll take it all back. Her people, her people. Look at me. You think I came from a happy childhood? No. That's why I stand on my love throwing bricks at children. All right.

I'm the real victim here. I am, Mr. So meanwhile Margaret is now like at the chip eating phase of her anger, you know, we've seen this, like this happens to Margaret every single time, like every classification, there are inevitably as a scene where she has a tortilla chip in her fingers that she's just holding like this. You know, it Jennifer keeps putting a foot in her mouth. Okay, I'm done with it.

I'm done with it. Eating my chip. Getting another one. My anger is still here. Margaret, I know how you feel, but she doesn't know what she's saying is wrong. Dolores. She's like, I know Jensen Tensions weren't bad. Me? I'd give her a pass.

Like, no, you wouldn't. Who the fuck are you pretending you are? I'm right now. And Marge is like, you know what? Here's what I say. Just shut your pie, ho. You are delicious. I'm talking to the chef. May I please have another justita? I'm very angry right now. Being sued by a whale and tormented by an idiot. I'm how she eats it. She picks it up with two fingers, and then she holds it. She kind of looks at it.

And then she puts it in her, like places it on her tongue. And then like deposits it, like in the bank, where it like takes your money. Yeah. It's like, I don't see like envelopes her mouth over the thing. It's the weirdest thing. And then she puts her lips on the naturegy. And then she versus her lips. And then she versus her lips.

And then she versus her lips. And then she versus her lips. And then looks for another one. That one. OK. And forages for another anger chip. So then Dolores is like, you know what? I'm just not understanding why Margaret wants

to eviscerate her. Because let me tell you something. I'll tell you who's eviscerated. I am. I'm eviscerated right now. I'm eviscerated. I'm eviscerated. Every single minute that Iade here. Because let me tell you something. I'll tell you who's a Viserade. I am. I'm a Viserade right now. Every single minute that I'm here on the beach. I'm absolutely a Viserade. I forgot she said that.

I'm a Viserade. I'm a Viserade. So back with Bill and Evan at the Gone Fishing game, he's like, Mm, slow it down. Then he can catch it. How about that?

Mm, I'm can catch it. How about that? Mm. I'm kicking his ass. His big round kickable ass. Mm. So now it's time to go get ready for dinner, because it's a housewives trap. You can see them brush 13, three times a day, you know? Contour their beards very very aggressively

Yeah, Joe Gorgas beard vise is like what are you doing? You got it straight mind frank. Jesus. You got it You got to do it like this to the nangle Frank's like So they gather in the kitchen and Jen's like, Hey, Chocoica. He's gonna be a thigh with me tonight. He's like, fuck your shots, the right shots. So they start doing shots and fist bumping each other. He's like, you're fucking animal Jennifer.

He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah. Jennifer's gonna destroy a city tonight. She's always talking like she's sitting on top of a piano. Like, headbugs. She has. Hey. Welcome to the lounge.

Played some kind of a double shot tequila on the keys his bill. Hey, Bill, how you doing tonight? Waterman's steakhouse. It's raining outside. Marge is like, oh my god my breath is still the good, but what is it? It's a brain. And three of us are like, oh my god, it's a rainer! It shows so stupid. I love it. I was like, I need to type that down. Well, she got very scared. It's very easy to confuse. She was so stupid, I love it. I was like, I need to type that down.

Well, she got very scared. It's very easy to confuse reigning with a reenment, so it's a very, you know, it's a confusing triggering word. It just probably did show up to the arrangement, like covered from head to toe and my keffy bags, you know, so she wouldn't get wet. She loves it. She's done that. That girl in the audience has done that. Sitting in the front row at SeaWorld. I'm not gonna get me wet. And let me tell you something.

The last time we, when we did a show in Kansas City, someone actually showed up dressed in a hefty bag. So, is she here? Is she, was that you back there? Or is she just cheering it on? So good. So we know all about you guys are animals here too because she ended up that night. There was this girl couple I'm not shaming you okay. I'm celebrating you. Celebrating the region. She came dressed like Catherine Dennis and I mean she was just stunning. Like she was this beautiful member. Yeah. And she looked just like the end of Princess Diaries. I didn't make it to the end of Princess Diaries,

but I'm assuming that's what bitch becomes a princess, okay? So just go with me. And Hathaway and her prime. I mean, just stunning, like full-ball gloves, you know. And she was like, I'm really nervous to be here. I don't know anybody. And we're like, have a couple drinks, so many plenty of people.

This poor girl was shit-fade, like on the ground, shit-face. And then the lady with the trash bag had to stay out with her all night, like holding her head. And people who are posting pictures on our Facebook of this poor, beautiful girl, like hurling all over the street. And trash bag ladies just adding her head, like, it's OK, honey.

It's a natural arc of a real housewife. And the trash bag, by the way, was supposed to be trash-ly from Toppencharm. So there you go. All in one night. So good. I love this place. Okay. So this this daycouse. We have the waitress. Oh great waitress. She's one of those waitresses that does this little show when she's gonna like take the order. She goes, hi everybody. My name is Joanna and I'll be serving all of you this evening. But she has that like new jersey like trash voice. Yeah, like I don't mean like people are trash in Jersey.

What am I trying to say like pollution? It's like a heavy pollution voice. It's a smokers voice but like pollution. Because I have smokers voice. You hear me weave. You hear me wee's. But it's more like pollution where you can't escape it, you know And like every waiter in Jersey like they don't have to have like the waiter dorms right by the trash You know because are the pollution cuz she's like all right welcome

Get a savior. I'm gonna get you whatever you need Like you are not gonna fuck with that waitress nobody sends her but back with that waitress you know meanwhile we should mention that in two months we are doing a show at the Jersey Shore so see everyone there this waitress is gonna be there like you yeah yeah I heard what you said about my service it was a delightful brand Zeno last night so anyway so they're all order food. Melissa orders a seafood tower, which made me happy. Made me think of Courtney from Below Deck.

Who we in love. And then we hear some of the guys and go deep-sea fishing tomorrow. There's like talking about what the next day has. It's worth a fucking idiot. Deep-sea fishing seriously. You're gonna go deep-sea fishing. I wouldn't do that.

What's wrong with going deep sometimes And Jennifer Jennifer's like I was like to get a pair of sand and a stump there I longed that movie And Melissa's like is that in the air I saw mini golf It's like aw stop ruining that half of the team. I want that half of the team to be more fun than the evil half of the Minotaur golf is amazing and You play miniature golf especially on a lame miniature golf. I agree. I really don't like those miniature golf courses Yeah, I want upside down. I want windmill windmill

How does you know like the little lake? Yes? I want upside dance. I want windmills. Windmills. In fact, you know, like the little lake. Yes. One of my least favorite, I'm actually, when I was a kid, I was obsessed with miniature golf and I made my parents stop at every miniature golf place. Anytime we did a road trip.

And my least favorite thing to this day is when you see a miniature golf place and there's like a castle, like a big castle and signs, you're like, this is going to be the most whimsical, like amazing experience of my life. And then you go and then all the cool stuff is just like on the side and just like lame green, like lame, just like there's a hole and like it goes down a little bit. I hate that.

Yeah, those ones were like, stop making those. Yeah, when you're driving on family vacations and they're like, oh, look, it's a golf place in the middle of nowhere. Don't go there. Like, go drop your ball in the little lake thing and then you fish it out, and then your fingers

are kind of burning the rest of the day, you know? Like, where did I get pink eye? And you know. It's from the water hazard. OK, so Teri says, like, well, we know I'm from the party tomorrow. Because they're going to have this big party at the house. And they've all invited people who cares really so Melissa's like

After lunch, I'm gonna go meet up with Danielle for me are meaning The meeting yes I know I love a thirsty house wife who's like, oh, you're gonna be at the Jersey Shore I'm gonna be at the Jersey Shore as well. What a cool winky pink bitch. Did anyone see her photos on on Instagram? She did like a she did a photo shoot where she was like dressed in stuff and she was just like it was in her house and she's just like hanging on she's like going like this and this and then she has one shot she's like but the hanging, she's like going like this and this. And then she has one shot. She's like, but the entire time,

she's trying to make it look like it's this chic photo shoot in Vogue magazine, but the entire time she has her little camera remote in her hand. So just like, a little clicker there. She's like, look at me. Oh, Kuchua, click. Thank God for those little clickers. I've only tried to take one dick pick but it was

a nightmare, okay. Like how am I supposed to do this? Do you know how hard it is to find a good angle when you have no angles? Like my body is not even, even my penis isn't even at an angle. Yeah. I tried taking a dick pick and I wound up taking a picture of his sunset instead. I was like there, that's better. That's better.

The sunset would have had a better shot of getting fucked after a picture, I might get it. I will tell you that right now. Joe Gorega's like, whoa, I just got to rent him a sunset photo. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. Hey, Bill, why don't you have a Noister? It's an affidizia. Hmm. Hmm. Ooh. Mm. Like Bill's not getting the jokes basically going, fuck your wife, but an appetizer for him, you know? So she announces she's going to go to dinner

or lunch with Danielle. And Melissa's like, I'm just going to tell her, she is violent, and we don't want to be around her. It's like, you need better excuses. Yeah. You kept just saying you're too violent. It's the cast of New Jersey. You're like your sister and law was literally in jail.

I mean, you have to say like, we don't like your pants. You can't hang out with us. Like, that's gonna be something. It can't be something like you're violent. You're mean. It can't be that. I don't like your haircut. You can't hang out with us.

We didn't like your performance at the obstacle course. You can't hang out. You're about to minute your golf. Sorry You can't hang out with us. We didn't like your performance at the obstacle course. Can't hang out. You're about to minute your golf. Sorry, can't hang with this crew. Yeah. You're not a windmill. So Teresa's like, why am I not going to hang out? Teresa's just like an old-timey car honking at this point,

right? That's all I hear when she talks. Let's boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I was just going to be, ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! It's like when you go into those museums and they're trying to make you make it feel like you're in the 1920s You know and you're like, oh I really feel like I'm there Okay, so there's almost smoking dope in here. I love this town Seriously are you guys just smoking up in the movie theater? It's like we're growing up together right now Yo, it's just like when I went to see the goonies with my little friends.

Those were best in Hedgehogs, so I was sputting weed back then. Okay. Who cares? So Jackie has a moment where she's trying to impress all the cool girls. Now that she's not fine with three of those, of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the

three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three

three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of the three of I know I may just look like that, but if you can look beyond the beauty for one second. I bet I could chug a bottle of beer faster than anyone here.

Everyone's like, so. So of course, Joe Gorgas is like, oh, do I? I mean, I mean, bro. So they all have a big beer checking checking contest and of course Jackie wins and Jennifer's You gotta settle down throwing out all right to Laura's traffic jam. I know young lady. Yeah, so Jen's like Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, like, oh, so you can suck a bottle, but you can't come to my cabaret. Huh. Huh.

Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. So Marge is like, I can't even with her. That is very offensive. So you were just talking about showing your pussy five minutes ago, but OK, I'll go with you.

I like you. I'll go with you. So then Jennifer does truly the most annoying thing people can ever do after they have totally offended you. I'll go with you. So then Jennifer does truly the most annoying thing people can ever do after they have totally offended you Relax it was a joke Comedia Read the room. I beg you offended many people you offended me this morning No because it's money.

I was having a moment with Teresa, about lawyers, which were bad at those very difficult. I'm being sued by a well, I don't know if you've heard. There was nothing behind it. There's no conspiracy about it. And Melissa's like, still want to have the baby. Show that, Melissa. And Teresa's like, I can't believe I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared.

I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared.

I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared. So Jennifer is like, they were nothing behind it. Nothing conspiracy theory. Don't worry about it. Not about you. In fact, you remember what you said about me? And she works. And March goes, oh, do you work? Do you work?

Do you have a job? Hmm. Well, every, every mom works. That's what I'm always saying. Work it mama. Work it real good. Every mom works that's what I'm always saying work at mama Work it real good Haven't kids is a freak profession. I write it to you right now, Lord. Yeah, do you know how odd it is to raise a child

The sentence of the gym was three years old and not let it leave for 20 years It's hard. Ugh. So the loris tells us, listen Margaret, I know you can't stand Jennifer right now, but being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. We all know that. How hard do you think it was for me to raise the sun smart enough to keep a bell by his bed that he can ring when he needs a blowjob. Let me tell you something. You see these feet, you think these are pretty feet?

These are the feet of a mother who spends all day walking from the kitchen to the living room, to the kitchen, waiting for Frank and Frankie to both come home, spill some pasta, get blow jobs from who knows where, and then I got to clean it up. It's not easy. It's a job. It's a job. Now I'm no mother, so far be it for me to say. But being a mother is way fucking harder than having a job. Are you kidding? You can get the hell out of that house when you have a job. You have to stay with those fucking monsters you created. Yeah, you get all the props. You get all the props.

I'm not arguing with that, but I do feel like when Jennifer says, bitch, I work a 14-hour day. Doesn't end to my kids get asleep, and that's when I'm off the clock. I'm like, all you do is just hit by now on Amazon Prime. Jennifer. Hey, that counts. Have you seen an Amazon Prime after a. Hey, accounts. Have you seen an Amazon Prime after a child learns your password? I have.

My niece's rooms both look like fucking discos because they found some fucking lights on Amazon and learned my password. I was like, what is this? I walked into their room. It's like, the lights are all turning different colors. I was like, you're like, you're an uncle. I'm, mm, mm, mm. The lights are all turning different colors. I said, you like it, Uncle? I think you little bitch, I'm gonna fucking dismember you. I did not know that happened outside

of Disney movies around the holidays. I'm like, should Dennis Quaid be in your life? They put real dish washing detergent and the laundry machine and the whole house filled up with soap sides. Yeah, dog, as if you're gonna have like little bows in his hair and everything like, wow, let the kids take over the house by accident. Oh, God. So Margaret's was like, now she's upset.

She's like, you know what? You know, I put myself up on my bootstraps, even when I didn't even have any underwear on, I'm showing the piss my world, my world, my piss, whatever, I don't know, I need a nacho, okay. Did I ever ask anybody to cuddle my feelings ever, ever? Okay, a girl who hasn't even worked a single day in her life? I don't think so, a lot, no. March has some balls, I would never say something like that. Being a mother isn't hard to work.

Good luck walking the streets, idiot. Good luck. Marge is going to just get clobbed by stones in the street, you know, dumbass. Okay, so um, but then Jen, of course, comes from Margaret and the way you don't come from Margaret. She's like, I don't know what type of mother you were. Which we all kind of do. Like that's like a story line. That's not your point. Not good, so Marge is like, how dare you just insult my mothering skills.

So she gets up to leave and everybody is fighting and I'm like, oh my god, just sit down. And she's like, the only thing you ever accomplished in your life is marrying someone rich and your lucky states with you. Like, that's not true. She's a lucky bitch. That is an accomplishment. Have you guys ever tried to marry somebody rich? That is not easy. I have tried it. They will set up fucking literal hoops on the lawn for you to jump through.

What? They will set up fucking literal hoops on the lawn for you to jump to literal hoops literal hoops Very difficult. Yeah, so basically Margaret is furious Jennifer's like stop taking everything Seriously, and Margaret goes by the way just by way, no one cares what you have to say. Some Arbor's like mad because like by the way, it's kind of like her moment to have like a big like, by the way, I'm gonna say something absolutely devastating right now and you just throw that away from me, so I'm gonna go, Joe, Joe would leave, we're leaving, going on to the rain, okay, Joe, you coming to with me, she's classless, classless little bitch.

Fred Flintstone calls, he wants to help that back. So now, now the nice people are going to leave, right? So Melissa's like, oh my god, I guess we should go and Jackie's like, yeah, babe, we got to go. We're in their car. And Tracy goes, you came with them, ah, you then you got to leave with them. Yeah. The biggest role of the season. Yeah. You came together, you leaned together. Bill goes, mm, you guys are way too emotional.

This is crazy. Women, am I right? Mm. High five, bro. Ah. So they split up in their cars, and Jennifer's like, Why are these girls, I'm starting with me, I just don't get it.

And Dolores is like, I think that Mars missed interprets you. I'd really do. Like she's just some confusing language, Jen. Yeah. So then back at the house, all the first van arrives, and we just see them sitting around, and we just see Mariko, at the house, all the first band arrives. And we just see them sitting around. We just see Mariko.

You know what? She's just an asshole. And then it's like the next day. The next day, my personal favorite thing that happens on this show, let's face time no no and see what he's doing. So Teresa's like, what's going on? He's like

The water The octopus it is alive and the part is so cool And Teresa's like you just gotta put this switch on. And he goes, it's it, oh. Oh, oh. It's a calmness we've ever heard, no, no. Like figuring out a water switch. She's like,

oh. Huh. So the Laura swakes up Frank. Oh, girls. Okay. Oh, security. Security. Security.

Take a look over there. If anybody is acting up too much, you've been warned, man. This is the official warning, and we're not joking. Okay, so let's see. Love you to you you better shut it. You know I'm too lazy to walk. I'm holding my invisible nacho chip right now. I will throw this Avery book right at your fucking face.

Okay, so everybody's making up the next day and Jennifer's sitting down with the boys and they're like, we're going fishing. Deep sea. And Jennifer's like, do we get to eat the fish you catch? Let's Betty Crocker it up. Like Betty Crocker. Those good old fashioned Betty Crocker fish cookies. Can't wait. She said being a stay-at-home mother was hard.

She didn't stay staying at home and actually cooking for your children was hard, okay? Stay at home mothers, do you have microwaves? Those poor kids. Thank God I would have starved. My God, thank God for microwaves. Okay, so Dolores is like, oh, God, so some of them are going deep sea fishing, some of them are going to golf, and some of them are going to the sky thing. It's a wonderful world. Yeah. So the boys go on to the old Salty too. The old Salty too. The sequel to the most popular one, Salty one. So, and they have the most Jersey Shore crew.

It's like, hey, I'm Nick Jr. and the captain, Snixinha. Snixinha. It's like the saddest nepotism ever. Some day kid, you get to grow up and be on the old salty tube. So the guys are such guys. Like shots, let's do shots. Let's do shots and joke workers. Like, you want to shut you a pussy?

You want to shut you a pussy, huh? Huh? Shut you a pussy. So he's like, come on, Bill pussy, huh? Huh, huh, huh? Shout you a pussy. So it's like, come on, Bill, you know what they say to these guys? They say your wife, home to your boss. Yeah. Don't be a man, prove you're a man.

It's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh. There's so many interesting ways to show my manhood

right now. There's so many interesting ways to show my manhood right now. So, so Joe's like Bill's wife causes all kinds of troubles, but this guy he's my man. He does whatever the fuck I tell them to do. So Bill is just getting shit faced and he's like, so Joe, you catching anything and you just shoot more blanks. I hear you're a big shooter. So meanwhile Frank is fishing and Frank is like, oh, the Lord is the Lord! Here comes the big one! The Lord is the big one! The big one!

Let me see. Frank goes, hey Joe, look, it's the story of your life, it's too small! And Gorg is like, ah, good one. Like you finally got gotten. You just need to lower this over there, going, shut up, you idiot Frank. You're more on Frank.

I'd love to see Doloresco fishing. It should be like, I think I got something. OK. All right, it's a can. All right. That is so old school Italian that I just got a can. Only an old schooler would catch, catch a kid like that. Seven bills just drunk and he's watching other boys' fairs.

And he's like, only in the Jersey Shore man. So Frank's like, listen Bill,'re gonna come fight you with the Guido buddy right we're gonna come fight you with the Guido man you name is Anthony and he's like how about Tony they're great Tony the Turk and then you just see Bill with the rest of the tequila shooting it all down yeah and Joe just rips open his shirt and starts playing with all his hair. Mmm. I mean, Bill, Bill to be like to solidify his brohood does this.

Mmm. Ha. Starts to raise his hand, raising the roof. Mmm. His hair is also going in every direction now. It's like, it's like a triangle of hair. It's like a triangle of hair. It's like a light poly-D, it's like poly-D, but like loose, loose poly-D.

This is a bill episode we've been needing. Yeah. Bless that guy. So then Dolores and Jennifer and Teresa, Dolores, I would never take Dolores up, Paris, LA. This is how Dolores enters. What do they call that when you go on an excursion? She's like, if I fall into this fucking water,

you're all fucking dead. Ha ha ha ha. Geez. She just hasn't gone out. So they are on those boat, they're getting ready. There's like a safety lesson. During the entire safety lesson, Trees just going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, going. Ehh. Ehh. Ehh. Ehh.

Ehh. Ehh. Ehh. Ehh. Ehh. Now. Now. Ehh.

Now, now. Now. No, no, no. Ehh. Girl. It's a sorry to get this thing when I get nauseous. I backpig-ass lay. Lisa not stingy with my burps.

So then we got a golf. And they're picking balls of mine. Just like, I like Kelly Green. I like that. I'll take that one. This is going to be good. I was like, this is not going to be good. You've got Jennifer coughing up a baby.

Dolores threatening to murder people. And Bill's chest hair out right through the roof on about, okay? So it's better to be ready to cut someone with a bottle because they're already bored with your scene. So Margaret plays miniature golf exactly how it expects her to. She hits the ball, the ball goes into water and she goes, goes, God, fuck me. Seriously. You know what? Many coffins are my thing. But I'd rather wax my vagina with molten lava

than spend your day with Jennifer. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's for you, Joan. That was for you, Joan. Molten lava vagina joke for you, Joan. So yeah, they're playing in this like Jackie's, like a sound on the green and she like puts her boobs right by the hole, which sounds very illicit.

But she had a ball, you know, there's that and then Margaret's there. And just like, you know, like fun times on a subpar minotrack off course. Pun included, by the way. Hatt to pair a selling. They're like, ah! Cut back to golf. They're like, oh, is the way. Cut to pair of selling, they're like, ah! Ah! Cut back to golf.

They're like, oh, so you're gonna talk to Ted Hale today. It's gonna be fun. Oh, so they're talking her up. And Melissa's like, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but it's time went on. She proved to me that I was wrong. Melissa better be careful because you guys remember how Melissa got on the show, right?

Do you remember that far back? Because some housewives memory, we scrubbed that shit from season to season, I do. But she got on the show because she was really thirsty to get on it and she was direct messaging, what do you call it on Facebook? Messaging, I guess just messaging. Oh, I'll change the brand. She was messaging all this like info to try and get on the show.

And then Danielle was using all this info against Teresa at the reunions and stuff And that's how Melissa was born into the world of house that so Danielle is kind of Melissa's mother in a way that's horrifying is that it she's their housewives mother so mother of dragons. Yes. Yes So watch your back bitch. That's what I'm saying basically. Yeah, so basically yeah, basically Melissa's whole thing as she says like I'm gonna I'm gonna go see Danielle and let her know that she's no longer going to be around us now. Here's the thing Okay, Danielle is like a garbage person. We know that we know that, but that's what I'd love about her I actually love her. I love her garbageness around, you know? And that's important. And I don't know. There's part of, there's part of me that is kind of like, isn't it kind of totally obnoxious that Melissa's gonna be like,

sorry, you can't hang out with us. Am I like the only one who felt that way? Well, I mean, I mean, yeah, I think it's weird that she, I just feel like it's weird that they're making her do it. It's like that you, like you have to kill your mother in order to stay on this show. You know, it's like don't bite the hand that fillers you. You know what I mean? So in a way, it's like good. It's like Godfathery, you know, she needs to be driving her like in a car somewhere, like way out into the woods.

Daniel, where are we going? What are we doing? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're just going to play some miniature golf, Danielle. It's a great course I found. Oh, I can't wait. I love it.

I love miniature golf. OK. So they are going to lunch now. The ladies are done with their events or whatever. So they're going to go to lunch and ordering. Who cares? I've wrote down all of their orders. I know.

I wrote down that there's two atresses I should know by now. Yeah, so the other women are back from the most of all shrimp cocktail Cobb salad But yeah, so they're they're they're all gonna meet up. We forgot to mention one of again like classic Dolores when they were Parasailing the woman were like And then he just heard Dolores, it really is beautiful up here. So, Theresa's group finally arrives. And Jennifer is like,

girl, if you could just exist, man, I'm gonna get in the bathroom. It's like, all right. I'm fully expecting her to come out with like showgirl feathers and like subtle. So she ends up coming back and she's wearing a shirt that says, in gather font, isn't it? It's a like Beverly Beach font. I think that was the only font that Housewives are allowed to use.

That's in their little clip art packages on their photos. Stein Mart, who's like, you know. So, Melissa's like, are you trying to make a statement? I just thought it was good, because Rock has said to get a T-shirt to say, I'm sorry, I said did it. Melissa's like, what exactly are you not sorry for? I just feel like every time I say, I'm sorry, you guys don't like it, but I say, did it. I'm a list of like, what exactly are you not sorry for? I said, I just feel like every time I say, I'm sorry,

you guys don't like it when I say, I'm sorry, so I'm just wearing a shirt, this is sorry, I'm not sorry. Like that literally helps nothing. It's like her timing is just so off. Yeah, I'm a list of like, oh, no, I love sorry. I love when people say sorry. Say sorry, you stop and say sorry to him. I'm like, oh no, I love sorry. I love when people say sorry. Say sorry. You stop and say sorry. Yeah, but what?

And Dolores just goes, hitin' with a fork Jennifer. I mean, dog with a bone over here. Dog with a bone. So, so yeah, so there's all that. And then the lady's all head home. And Margaret really speaks to my soul here because there's all that. And then the lady's all head home. And Margaret really speaks to my soul here because she's walking in, she goes, if we're tired, if I'm in a Chicago, we're all pathetic loses right now. I'm like, I'm tired, just think about a miniature golf.

So we go to the boys, the boys van, and Bill's just like, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, heeey, what would you do with a drunk in the cellar? What would you do with a drunk in the cellar? What would you do with a drunk in the cellar?

Oh, lie in the morning. And I wonder where I got pink, I, you see. For those who did not, we're not fortunate to come to the show, Ronnie just fillated his microphone. That song, that song turns you on, I get it, I get it. Jolly good. So the guys, the guys are carrying Bill, because Bill is passed out, so there are, it's like six of them are carrying Bill for some reason, and it's like, they're treating it like we can That burn is right really are like walking around like this bill and here's like everything solid yeah

This is this is Bill's head okay, we're gonna walk through the door In ball everywhere I was like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom Mmm. So Jennifer's like, What did you do to my husband? And Dolores is like, I knew it was a bad idea for Bill to be unsupervised with these animals. What did you do? What did you do? So Joe comes in and he's wiping him down because he's like on the sweats, like just the booze sweats.

Oh, wipe me down, Joe. Gorgon, what? I'm just passed out. And Bill just reaches up and grabs Joe's boobs and is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, okay. He's fine. He's fine. Yeah. She cuts that right off. Never been more jealous of Bill. So then we get Jamie. A little gorg up. God, he's dumb and hot. That was like my favorite combinations. Yeah. He has an actual ass on his chest. It's great. So I was just like looking for that mosquito in the room. Oh, tree, is that you? Yeah.

It's just always full of wonder, you know. So he's like, I'm gonna go upstairs and attack my fucking wife. Then he's fucker, Bill. I'm gonna go fuck my wife, Bill. So now, Melissa, they're all gonna get ready for this party. And Melissa's like, she's like, okay, guys, I gotta go see Danielle. And they are literally treating her like she's Frodo going off. Going off to drop the ring in the lava, right? They're like, Godspeed, be careful. We love you. You great. You can do this. Listen here like Godspeed, be careful. We love you. You're great, you can do this.

Listen here Elsa, be very careful. Let's go with that magical voice, I'll love. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sending your sister in the out, okay? Ah! Ah! Ugh. Anywhere you can fit frozen to in. I'm in. So they go to Melissa drives to lunch and she's so nervous. Like she really does act like she's got a head on her, you know? And she goes to play a bowls.

Now I know playa is beach and so it's probably play a bowls, but it's also Jersey Shore and I just like playa bowl. I was literally gonna make the same joke. That just shows how our minds have knelted. Playa, playa bowls. You can get the chickpea fuck your wife? Yeah. Or you can get the kale fucked your mom.

Or you can get the black bean, you came with it, you leave with it. Yeah. Or the super food, I got blown. They don't have creative names, but it's just what the menu is. I thought the superfood salad. I fucked the... Just called the I fucked it. I'll have the I fucked it please. There's no description. No description. You don't know what it is. Just the daily specials. Call the I fucked it. So Danielle comes, you know, like... Yeah, she's saunters up.

She's terrifying. Danielle is fucking terrifying. Meanwhile, the girls who work behind the counter display are now like kneel down. They're just like closing the shutters. They're like, okay, she's here. So Danielle comes in, she's like, hello, how are you? I'm here because Julian goes to Monmouth and you know I just was here visiting totally

coincidentally even though it's the summer and my daughter's in college. You know Danielle, always there for the kids. So Danielle's like, listen waitress, I like bananas. And I'm allergic to Terry. So. So have some care. What are you threatening this war woman? I don't know.

Everything she says sounds like so, I'll fucking kill you. Like, what do you pick something? Is this like a question on the LSATs? I like bananas, but I can't have dairy. What should I have? How about something with bananas? Just says it in a way like, I'm living this up to you.

Die if you want to. See how this waitress plans to live. So she's like, well, Melissa, I'm sorry. It's so long for me to call you But I'm just trying to understand why we came to this pass Why all the sudden are we not friends? Do not understand screenshots Facebook messages that date back nine years bitch I'm still friends with that creepy guy from the diner from seven years ago, so oh God, oh god. Oh, that's a whole other scariest person who ever showed up on Broadway

I got Danny So then Melissa's like listen Danielle when you first came around I gave you the benefit of the doubt Also, how long do you get to keep blackmailing me with this information? Yeah, basically. So she's like, but you messed it up. I'm not saying you did anything to hurt me. She's like, you're up. She doesn't do that. I'm all this is like, but you can no longer say you haven't caused any problems. She goes, what problems did I cause? Tell me. I would like to know what problems I caused because last time I saw you were sipping me milk and not What problems did I cause? Tell me. I would like to know what problems I caused

because last time I saw you was sipping me milk and not bananas, okay, case closed. Uh-uh. Some of us is like, you pulled Margaret's hair. I mean, when someone's bending over and you go like this, that's violent. And then we get that movie music, it's like, brrr dairy in this room. I ain't. I'm gonna listen to this.

I gotta be honest with you, when somebody has bent over like this, and then you grab their hair, and you flip it back like this, I mean, now you're violent. Does that not speak to your character? It just, no, it does not. You're safe for the day, waitress bitch, but I'll be looking out for you. So Danielle's like, it's never okay, okay? It's never okay to throw one in somebody's face either,

okay, or what are on my head? Okay, she treats me like I'm disposable and I finally had enough, okay? So she's getting all angry and we just sort of are feeling that this is gonna go sour and and most I was like well Everyone just like feels who's everyone? Who's everything now? You're speaking for the group You got speaking for the group. I got pictures of the group. I got pictures of you, bitch. I got pictures of you, you know? My question so far is how can Danielle possibly feel disposable? I mean, she looks, her face basically represents ocean pollution. She looks like a pile of plastic, plastic little rings that the dolphins get stuck in and cobbled together.

I'm just like that. Just like that. She may be disposable, but she's also indestructible. Exactly. Yes. She'll be back. Yay, pollution. So, yeah.

So Melissa's basically like all of the girls no longer want you around. And I think that basically like, you make Teresa laugh, but I also don't think Teresa's in her right mind right now Let's be honest. She's an idiot. Okay, that's only some why she's in it again Because Danielle's like does that include Teresa? She's like well, she knows I'm here, but she's not supporting this is she's like she's such a villain or she's terrifying I'm a list is like yeah, I mean, she likes you, but I'm like, oh, so she can't be in a right mind, and like me. She's like, you're going to pull someone's hair in her presence.

Yeah, she's like, oh, so she can't be in a right mind, and like me. She's like, you're going to pull someone's hair in her presence. Like, God for bad. Let's throw a cake. Yeah, but yeah, she's basically like, to Reese's in trouble, she can't be around violent people And so Danielle goes, are you really saying this to me? I guess I'm saying it because it's how I feel. She can't be around hair pulling people

And then Danielle takes us in a place that I was not expecting quite frankly And you see her thinking about it, right? You can see that. And this is why she is important to the show, okay? Because when everything is settling down and we've just had an episode where everyone's playing miniature golf, here comes Danielle to say, I'll give you a storyline. Well, she's very, very sure to get clarity.

Like did Teresa say that it was okay to kick me out of the group before I betray this bitch. Yeah, now and now someone's like, she knows. Like who started it, you know? She's like, all right, Melissa, now you're talking to Beverly. The rest of this conversation will feature me with my ankle behind my head.

Ha, ha, ha. We're doing a sound. This is the Reggie board. It's Beverly here with us. She's here. She's here. I think we all had a lot to drink that night, but I was also influenced. I was done when I emptied Margaret's bag in the candle,

which is a, by the way, hilarious thing to say. I was done when I emptied a bag in the candle. I thought my work here is done. I put things in a candle. Enough said. But I was finished. But then Steven told me to pull her hair. I was like, Steven. And we'll just go, Steven? The owner of the boutique? So we all know. So already by the way, I'm watching this like this is like truly the worst excuse I've ever seen. I was like, okay Daniel, Steven, the owner of the boutique wanted to be more destructive in his boutique.

He's already emrolling my eyes. Me too. I was like, lies, lies. Lies. So she's like, and would speak and said, do it. I hesitate it. And tree said, do it. And Tree said, do it. And I'm like, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, wait, Teresa told you to? And Danielle's like, yes. And then we get a clip. And Danielle, Steve and going, pull her hair, pull her hair. And Danielle goes, Teresa goes, he said to pull her hair and Teresa goes,

don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Don't do it, don't do it. Don't do it, don't do it. Don't do it, don't do it. And so she goes and she pulls her hair. Wow, wow. Mind blown. Only this show could use that as a cliffhanger,

because I was like, how dare you? And then on top of that, for them, for them to have the disrespect to say that next week is the season finale. How dare you, Bravo? How dare you? Wow. Oh, that looks good, because Melissa is telling Trey what happened at a party.

And she's like, it's Melissa. Sorry. Melissa's like, she said she was on the fence and you told her to do it. And Trey says face of just like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, And then it just starts throwing, throwing red solo cups everywhere. She just throws red solo up. Yeah, she took it pretty well actually, yeah. I'm not bringing us to the end of Real House on the very day. Thank you so much, Kansas.

Thank you Lawrence fucking Kansas. Good night everyone. We love you guys. Love you. Thank you for coming out. Thank you. Good night. Thank you, everybody, all. Bye, guys.

Thank you. I love you. Bye, guys. Thank you. Thank you. I love you guys. I love you. I love you.

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