Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Sog Park Diaries

Episode Date: December 1, 2017

The drama on this week's Real Housewives of New Jersey begins in a dog park and climaxes with a new wine stain on yet another wall of an Italian restaurant. This week’s bonus episode is a s...pecial Cyber Monday shopping spree. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***For 50 percent off your Stitch Fix order, go to stitchfix.com/crappens! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram
Starting point is 00:00:41 and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy Okay. Kelly Barlow. When she goes Barlow, we go high low. Christy Dowdy, the OG Prem Suprem. And our super duper premium sponsor, Kelly Grant, the most gorgeous girl in Texas. We love you. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on yo bros I'm Ronnie Karen from trash talk TV and the Rose pricks bachelor podcast and here I am with my gorgeous Amazing little friend Ben Mantle curve the B side blog and the band to blinda. Hello, Bean
Starting point is 00:01:59 Hello Ronnie. How are you? What's up your little tiger? You know, I'm just excited. It's Thursday, it's the last day of November. And most importantly, tomorrow, tickets go on sale for our Boston show, which is at this in Claire in Boston. Actually, it might be technically in Cambridge. That's on January 20th. And then one month later, February 20th,
Starting point is 00:02:25 we're doing a show at the Barry Ballroom, the legendary Barry Ballroom in New York City, which is amazing. So we got a Boston show, we got a New York show, we have a Houston show, which is almost halfway sold out at this point. And that's at Warehouse Live, that's March 9th. That's three shows coming up. You know,
Starting point is 00:02:46 at Ronnie, should we just add a fourth, fourth city to this madness? Hell yeah, let's just give ourselves something to do once a month, fuck her. Yeah, okay. Guess what? April 4th, Washington, DC, the Washington, the DC improv tickets on sale tomorrow, also, bitches. We're finally going to come to DC. We've been wanting to. We've been trying. And man been trying and man the DC people People who live in DC you guys aren't messing around you're like you're coming You're gonna be there the DC and the Boston people were about to like tear each other apart like Boston next DC next boss And next DC next and they're like some energy. Yeah, they were they were but like listen
Starting point is 00:03:23 We can all get along because we can all go everywhere. So, um, yeah, so we DC is officially added onto the list. Those tickets go on sale 10 a.m. All these venues are using different ticket people. So, um, the best thing will be to go to watch our crap ins.com and we'll have links to the various shows tomorrow so that way you can get your tickets. And just like the other places with DC, there will be some VIP tickets
Starting point is 00:03:52 and those will include preferred seating and a pre-show meet and greet. And then in terms of our New York show, we are having some, there's like some, we're trying to like get some confirmations with the venue. So there is a chance that the tickets will not be ready to go on sale tomorrow. So just be just brace for that. Okay. Just stay tuned to a social media. Yeah. Yeah. So get a cup. But just stay tuned to our social media. Okay. Because if it gets the tickets go on sale, take it's delayed, you need to know, okay?
Starting point is 00:04:25 Okay. Okay, so that's January, Boston, February, New York, March, Houston, April, DC. DC, and you know what, there may be even something in May. We'll have to get back to you guys on that next week. So, yeah, it's like once a month. It's amazing that we're planning on doing stuff at the time where I'm going to be complaining about it being hot again. Like I can't believe that's already in our thoughts.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Well, we are also, we are imbecils for, for booking a Boston show in January. What are we thinking? Yeah, I don't even have a jacket. I have like a lame ass little windbreaker. I got it marshals just so I could use it on my scooter. I think I'm gonna help. Well, we can, well, if it's cold, we're gonna go and get some hot chowda. Chowda. Oh, I'm, I'm, that's not even a joke.
Starting point is 00:05:18 I'm like, we're gonna get chowder. But we're gonna get a lot of, we're gonna have a lot of heavy cream soups. We're gonna go, We're gonna walk around. I'm going to hide my New York roots when I'm around all the red socks and patriots fans. And we're just gonna have just a great time. I think Roddy, you're gonna put a number up against the glass window and say, how do you like the maples, right?
Starting point is 00:05:41 Yes, I'm gonna be very goodwill hunting. Good runny hunting. And then when we're done with the show, we're just gonna like get on the road and drive on it in this highway while the credits roll. Goodwill rondle. Yeah, so we're super excited. We're gonna be going on tour all year.
Starting point is 00:05:58 So hopefully we'll have something at least once a month, through 2019. So if you want your city, just let us know. We're gonna try and come. We've got some requests for Atlanta and Seattle. A lot of Seattle people are chiming up. But by the way, if you want your voice to be heard, don't message us on social media about this stuff
Starting point is 00:06:18 because it's gonna get lost. Email us at watchworkcrapinsatgmail.com. If you have the name of. If you know of a venue, especially if you have a friend who's a manager or something like that or you know someone, that really helps because when we just send an email to these places out of the blue, a lot of times they're like, what? So having your connection helps us. What's the matter?
Starting point is 00:06:42 What's going on? Seriously, what's the email? Like a Gmail? What's going on? Seriously? What's the email? Like a Gmail? Like what's that Gmail? Yeah, so all that stuff is coming up. Also, we'll have coffee mugs available in the Amazon store next week. So get ready for Christmas, y'all. And one glass of coffee up in a week or two weeks. Yeah, find out all at watchwoodcrapins.com. And in the meantime, let's all gather around the fire for some real housewives of New Jersey. Oh, there's a tingling warmth in my chest right now. And it's not just the ice coffee that our listener, Dan Yella, sent us the coffee beans
Starting point is 00:07:19 for. No, the tingling feeling is knowing that the posh fashion show is just on the horizon. Oh, and isn't it posh? Yes. Like, wow, those fashions haven't been seen since the El Paso. If I can, you know, junior high Colorado high school, uh, pre-prom or whatever. It's like, where are you getting these fashions? It's like silk see through on top skin tight with, you know, like some satin skirts. What is happening, posh?
Starting point is 00:07:48 Come on. You know, I was thinking about, I've been in this mind space for the past two weeks about certain elements of Bravo, Bravo lore that just get the listeners, they just make us laugh. And like, it's like a giant inside joke, right? Because when we saw the Erica Jane thing with Brian Moilin, when Erica Jane said that Duran DeBrotter to the Regency, the entire audience cracked up and started like clapping.
Starting point is 00:08:17 And to me, I was thinking about how funny it is that the Regency, just uttering the word the Regency, will make an entire audience of Superfan fans laugh because it's so loaded. There's so much behind that, right? Like Luan and Tom, you know, and then there are certain places or events that happen on Bravo, especially in the real housewives shows, but probably Vanderpump rules or Southern charm that just create that sense of recognition and laughter, it's like that inside joke that we all know and love.
Starting point is 00:08:47 And I would love at one point to do a list of our top 10 favorite events or locations. And I think the Posh Fashion Show has to be up there. It's like one of those iconic things. The mere mention of Posh Fashion Show, it's like everyone knows what that implies, what that means, what his history is. And I just, I love that.
Starting point is 00:09:06 That's one of the best parts of being a super fan. It's not some shit, that's all I'm saying, okay. That's all I'm saying. Now last year Melissa tried to circumvent the whole posh thing and it actually worked because she's, you know, she's not ambious with anybody's life but her own. So, you know, and that was bullshit
Starting point is 00:09:24 because the posh fashion show was reduced to being like a small anecdote in the season. And the Posh fashion show deserves, it needs to have its moment. It is, it is an episode. It is a celebration. It is part of the real house of the inter-hearsy season. It, there always has to be the Posh fashion show episode. And the fact that last season, it was reduced to a segment at the 30 minute mark is not right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:49 And Melissa lost this year. So yay to that because they brought it back. Because no one can highlight the terrible fashions of New Jersey at the same time highlighting the terrible inner fashions of New Jersey as Kim D. Because she'll throw anybody under the bus. She don't even care. It's like the posh store is basically a bus
Starting point is 00:10:06 just waiting to roll over somebody. It's like a strip mall mobile home. This is ready to fucking run anybody over that is not giving her the attention she needs at the moment. Well, I mean, the best part about the posh fashion show is the fact that it is a fashion show for like a shitty boutique, like, you know, in the hinterlands of Franklin Lakes, you know, like the fact that it has a prestige fashion show once a year
Starting point is 00:10:32 is so hilarious. And we've gotten used to the fact that there's a fashion show for Posh, but it's like going down the street and seeing like Tinkles and Boots, you know, which is what I imagine a store in large one village is like here in Los Angeles, there's probably one called tinkles and boots. And there's like, guess what? The tinkles and boots fashion show, as if it's up there with, you know, Diane von Persenberg. Yes, I mean, like if they had a Rothdress for less fashion show, it would, it would look like fashion week compared to. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:02 I mean, the posh fashion show is the only facem so I think in the world that you can actually order garlic bread while the show is going on. Well, it brings new meaning to the term fashion week spell W-E-A-K. I would love it if Kelly could show it up one one year. It's fucking fashion week. They should have Kellan. They should bring back Kellan Earth and have her to the seating charts for a posh fashion show. I will talk about a lot of Kellan Earth. Cry outside if you're going to cry. One of the great, great one, one season wonders on Bravo, Kellan Earth. I think it gets forgotten. Whenever we do, whatever we, you know, are like every three months when we reminisce on the gallery girls and
Starting point is 00:11:47 Game of Crounds and princesses long hands of the of the world. Kill on Earth deserves to be in that mix. It's serious. Yeah. But you know, there are other, you know, horribly dressed people with really greasy hair that we can concentrate on besides KEL. And that's the real housewives of New Jersey now for some reason. And thank God this isn't the truth, but I opened up real housewives of Orange County reunion part two notes. I was like, wait a minute. What are Sam and doing here? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if you have anything to fit me here, Kim.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Well, I came. Well, you know what I hear. I hear that David's having a fear. I got my Kim D voice at the same as my saggy voice. I need to fix this It's gonna be more Kim D I heard you rekindling an old flame. I Wouldn't blame you David. We did you horribly with those spot and races? I wouldn't blame you David. Did you horribly with those spot and races? I'll tell you what else is Spartan David's mistress that bitch wasn't wearing anything when I saw us
Starting point is 00:12:56 By the way, I was reading something online. I'm like crazy today I apologize, but I was reading something online and someone's like watch our crap ends They have the worst impersonations. I just don't get it. They're not funny. I'm like, yeah, they're not good impersonations. That's the point. Yeah. Yeah, like, it's like, thank you. Thank you. You know, you got it right. We're not oversnaving their actual voices. Okay. We're impersonating their hearts. So how dare you? How dare you? I'm just trying to make Ronnie laugh. At the end of the day, as I always say, this shows about two things, trying to recapture what it's like to watch Bravo with your friend, and me, I'm just trying to make Ronnie laugh. That's all I'm trying to do.
Starting point is 00:13:31 That's all I want, dad! I'm just trying to keep it, but I'm sitting down. I don't care. Just keep it off my timeline, okay? Yeah. So, real house size of New Jersey. Pimmy is the on the real house, I need to lots of new Jersey. Pimmy is me on the real high-end and in there.
Starting point is 00:13:48 I don't know if Teresa is even bothering to move her lips anymore. I think everything's just like kind of stuttering out of her nose at this point. Yeah, me and me and me and that's just what it sounds like. Good job. Someone's printing out coupons. We were talking about iPhone ringer so much the other day. I think Therese's really would just be like, Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, ago. There was a Thanksgiving break at Siggy's retreat where classic modge modge was getting up there to do it during a roleplay role reversal so modge was gonna play Siggy Flicka and Siggy's gonna
Starting point is 00:14:31 play modge so modge gets up there and goes oh my god I'm Siggy Flicka I'm soggy Flicka I'm growing with the cake the great he just moved wow wow wow wow wow wow classic modge very funny impersonation Very funny impersonation. Just you want. Like, she's really going over the top. Everybody was hiding their face. And Melissa's like, well, look, I'm a fan of role play. You know, I played a sexy maid, a hot librarian. But, you know, I don't even think this, you know what?
Starting point is 00:14:59 Never mind. Joe will still jerk off to this. He would. Who am I kidding? One of his fantasies is me talking about my feelings in remote New Jersey. So this is very good. So it totally jerk off to Margaret in a ballerro cutoff sweater,
Starting point is 00:15:16 imitating Sigith Licker. He's like, oh yeah, yeah. That's why use Wemmins was made, huh? Oh yeah, turn around. Let me see a little portion of your back. Oh, yeah. Oh, matching leggings. Oh, oh, oh.
Starting point is 00:15:31 And then Ziggy gets her turn. And you called it because at the end of the last episode, they were like, what is Ziggy going to say? Where is she crying? And you were like, she ain't going to cry. She's going to take it fine, whatever. So of course, they cut back. And she's not freaking out,
Starting point is 00:15:46 but she grabs her hair in depony tails, which is hilarious. And she's like, you feel the whole pastry chef. Ooh, I find it very pathetic, and it's annoying at the highest level. And then she- So you don't have a hot-o-soul. And then she flicks her hair, and then she turns her back to Margaret. I don't remember Margaret hot or a soul. And then she flicks her hair and then she turns her back to Margaret.
Starting point is 00:16:05 I don't remember Margaret really ever doing that, but I like that Sigi is now envisioning herself just peeing off a bridge. It's like what are you even doing right now? I like it. It's me who was very like climactic Blair witch project, right? She's like, all right and now let the witch take me. How could you wish? How could you face a corner? All I wanted was to go into the woods. All I wanted was to make decorations out of sticks. You took the map of the woods and you threw it in the river across the floor. Who does that? You dropped my home video camera and an abandoned shack. Who does that? You dropped my home video camera and an abandoned shack. Who does that?
Starting point is 00:16:48 Listen Blair Witch you're a fucking animal! Blair Witch, I'm gonna take the door off your huts that way I can always walk in and say hello. You came out of my cookie blip Blair Witch,ip blip which you came out of my cookie. Blip blip just like mom. The Blair wits is just killing yourself in the corner. The end. The end. The blue. Sige threatening people to re-enter them back into her cookie.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Like I'm not out of here. I'm not enough. The Blair wits. Listen, if there's, this is the found footage, genre. So someone had to find the footage look I found the camera Blair which and you know, just take it just take it I Had this camera in my cookie Blair wish Classic Blair so
Starting point is 00:17:40 To these like oh my god. I know she's the worst to these like oh my god I know she's the worst. So, um, Siggie, so now the shrink, or the divorce lawyer. Now why is the divorce lawyer the shrink? I don't understand how this is working. Nothing makes sense. Nothing makes sense. But she just goes, she, oh sorry you do it. No she's just like, that was really hard to watch.
Starting point is 00:18:00 How do you feel? And Siggie's like, well, I'm glad that Margaret and I had a chance to bond on this trip. But I will say it doesn't get better. And it flashbacks, it flashbacks all this bullying that Siggie say. Yeah. Calling me soggy flicker, cut me to the core. I mean, what does not cut her to the core? She is just like a very soft fruit. Everything is just getting right to the core. My favorite Ronda saying when I was a kid, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:34 because we would have I was like that teenage girl that would just fight with the mom all the time. We had these like super dramatic fights. Cause I'm just like, you have to see lady bird. You have to see lady bird. I can't tell us to home. I'd be like, why aren't you like Lori McCath? Mom. I just want to watch it with you. And the entire time I'm going to have my chin on my, on my, on my fist and I'm just going to be staring at your face next to me.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Be like, what is Ronnie feeling? How is he emoting? I'll call my mom. I'm so sorry Lori McCath. But one of my favorite things my mom would say when she was being over-drobatic, she'd go, I love you with every ounce of my being. And you cut me to the core, kid.
Starting point is 00:19:14 You cut me to the core. It's like one of my favorite Ronda Monologue's ever. So, it was singing, it was like, you cut me to the core. When you caught me, soggy. It seems very marisa to me, very marisa to me monologue. Stamping her foot. So Margaret's like, your mom's biological clock is taking like that.
Starting point is 00:19:41 So Margaret's like, listen, when I said soggy, I thought I was hilarious. Okay, that's like, that's literally what I thought. I was like, I thought I'm hilarious. It's like John. That's me. Look, I'm like, look, you know, fashion police is off the air and Joan Rivers is dead. So I got to carry the torch and said, well, I thought it was being cute and clever and fucking hilarious. And I'm devastated that I hurt you that way and that I cut little baby Siggie I don't want to cut little baby Siggie I'm not a baby cutter I cut her a little inner child like I didn't want to do that to you but I did it I'm sorry I thought I was being fucking hilarious because guess let's face it I'm more of a joan than you are I'm sorry I just said it. I don't know
Starting point is 00:20:17 was gonna cut you to the core I would never do that to you I would never cut baby flicker okay I don't I don't even know what's in that core. I have a feeling it's like a seed from a plum with huge pores. There, I said it, I said it, just like Joan would. See, I'm being hilarious. It's not funny. I'm almost sad that Joan's not alive to be here for this right now because Joan and I if we did a reverse, it would be like talking to each other, it would be like no reverse.
Starting point is 00:20:37 It's like a palindrome, we're like spiritual palindrome, we're like the word auto, you know, because like I'm like a Joan and she's like a match, like classic match, classic Joan, you could tell the difference. All right, you could be Melissa just trying to come in between us and we'll push your face out of the way. But we could do a wonderful TV movie in the meantime. So she's like, look, here's all I hope. I hope I think you're the core again. Okay, I just hope I think I'm the core again. Oh, and we got matching leggings, you know, so this that I wanted to be individual in my leggings and you cut me to my leggings core. The snakeskin legging cores. So they cut to Dolores. He's
Starting point is 00:21:18 just looking at everyone like, oh my god, things were easier in prison. I watched mail on mail raping. It was easier than this. And they cut to her and she has three stripes. Now during below deck, one of the stews got their two stripe things. So we've talked about two stripes. And I just love that Dolores just bought herself three stripes. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, like, why do I have to wait to be promoted? I'm just getting my three strokes right now. You know, because I feel like I've been on a ship for a long time, a sinking ship and some ship called mass. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:50 Like, he calls me every day about the gym and I'm like, listen, mass, I can't do the gym. I'm doing a dog charity. I got new, I got new new cabinets, Frank's moving in, Frankie's moving out and boo. I don't know where boo is because he's dead, but his bowl is all around. You know, it's a lot of my mind. Three stripes. So next up, Melissa gets to get some Melissa. The S HMS Dolores.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Next up is Melissa. And she's like, you know, I choose Sigi to go again. And I'd like to do it right on this fire pit. So what are they doing? Why are they having group therapy on a fire pit? So Melissa, some Melissa, he was her grievances and, you know, she's like, this is what it was like when I went to your party. Hi, everyone. Cake is the best and people who treat cake batter assholes and Melissa's an asshole,
Starting point is 00:22:36 RN, I an asshole, and I, and she gets down on the floor just the whole city thing, which was a pretty accurate impersonation. Yeah, I'm enjoying Melissa's Adderall prescription this season. I don't know what's gotten into her, but she's hopping all over the place, jumping around, screaming, and then she's doing that come down thing. Like we see later at Pinnarriss,
Starting point is 00:22:54 she's just totally out of it. She's like, what's the vomit? I'm totally into whatever drug she's on. Yeah, it's good. It's really good. Yeah, it's really good for her. Those marble eyes are really looking great. Yeah, it's good. It's really good. Yeah, it's really good for her. Those marble eyes are really looking great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:07 So Melissa and Sigi wind up bearing the hatchet also and Sigi's just like, it was a big deal to me, but it wasn't a big deal to you. And I'm sensitive sometimes. And I just want to do to see how it could be a big deal for someone. But I want to break this wall because I love you. It's like, let's break the wall. We're gonna break the wall. Wait, hold on. I'm still standing on the wall. So technically I'm talking down to you this entire time And nobody's noticing which I love because I win you see it gets better. No, you're worse I'm throwing out all my pink Floyd CDs because guess what there will be no wall All in all it's not a, not a brick
Starting point is 00:23:47 of Melissa and Sige. And guess what, we don't need no education as evidenced by you and your sister-in-law, very uneducated women. I'm coming to Vietnam. So, money. So, they're like, anybody else want to go and trees is like, mh, ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, ahhh. No one else will go. Because I mean, really, everyone else is just going to pick Ziggy anyway.
Starting point is 00:24:19 You know, no one has anything to say. So, Daniel's like, yeah, actually, I'd like to call someone up. And Daniel, I've noticed that one thing Daniel does is she likes to slide into her line. She goes, yeah, I'd like to call somebody up to talk about something clear. Yeah, so it's like, yeah, it's like, okay, here comes Danielle. Yeah, Daniel with her completely not prepared monologue. She's got, she's like gives herself the music before she comes up.
Starting point is 00:24:50 She's like, yeah, da da da da da da da da da da. Here I am, I've got something to say, da da da da da da. Just do it. Just do it. We don't have all day. This is not the U-Tept Dinner Theater, okay? U-Tept Dinner. We don't have all day. This is not the you tap dinner theater. Okay. So everyone's like oh god Danielle's gonna call the Laura stop and be super awkward. They're gonna get into another fight
Starting point is 00:25:18 But surprised whist Danielle calls up Theresa G. Dice. Oh god. Oh, yeah Wait, wait, wait, she has no idea. It's like, did I win something? I bid $50. It's not prices right. Hey, I got a loop on my pocket. Where'd this come from? You stole that from the table. Oh, yeah, I forgot it. What are we doing here?
Starting point is 00:25:39 Can I get some minds? So Danielle is like, Theresa, I need to talk to you about something. I have I have an open wound and we're in a really good place right now and I don't want to ruin what we are right now, but I've got it open wound and it's festering and it may be infected. It's a little pussy. I haven't put a bandaid on it for 12 years because I want to look at it. It's like Melania Puerto Rico's. I just don't have to go in the pool to wash it off. So it turns out I was bitten by a zombie. So I only have about 48 hours before I actually become an undead. And I want to get this off of my still alive chests.
Starting point is 00:26:25 When you called me a prostitution haw in front of my children, it rocked my world. It rocked my world that would bullied for it. And I was like, okay, okay. But then they showed the flashback of, you know, the famous, the table flip, you prostitution haw, and gave it to Gage to 19 times what up the whole famous scene.
Starting point is 00:26:43 But this time, Bravo cuts to cuts to you know those two girls 11 and 13 these sweet innocent girls and they're staring and they're processing and they're like And I was like, you know what? This is you know, it's really fucked up about this for eight years Bravo trots out this table flip over and over and over and over again. It's like funny, right? It's like the table flip but trots out this table flip over and over and over and over again. It's like funny, right? It's like the table flip. But, you know, there are these two girls
Starting point is 00:27:08 who actually really were scarred by it. And they're just sitting there watching this. It's like, if you're a child, that's actually horrifying. And it's like, this thing has been trotted out for entertainment endless times. And what's sort of like not spoken is like, there really has been trauma
Starting point is 00:27:22 that was going along with it. And I kind of was like, you're so shitty brother sometimes. You really are. Yeah, but at the same time, like who you're going to be mad at, the lady you called her a prostitution whore or the prostitution whore. I mean, she's the one with kids. Like what were you on the road to Wellville a few years later when you took a job at scores?
Starting point is 00:27:39 I mean, come on. Yeah, I'm a sold thing. I think tree was out of her mind during that thing anyway. She was. It was just one of those those moments and Daniel is always fucking with everybody She's one of the darkest fucking human beings that's ever been on these shows and I guess well Teresa What an awful fucking human being and I love that Teresa's got everyone full to like look how she's changed Look how she just smiles. She's even nice to Melissa. She is not changed During the season she's already thrown a goddamn cake. She's lost her mind, I think twice. And then look what
Starting point is 00:28:08 she does at the end of that episode and no one even bats an eye, you know, the bitch is crazy. Put her back in camp. Which I appreciate. And so Danielle is like, Danielle wants Teresa first of all, you know, Danielle is like, you know, she basically wants an apology from Teresa and Teresa does that whole. Danielle's is, if I had knowns, it was gonna be hurtful like you. Of course, I would take it back. I would never says that stuff about prostitution's horse. Never, ever Danielle. But no, say she never says a pot. She never says I'm sorry. She never says I'm sorry. Yeah. She never said she started the bus boys for
Starting point is 00:28:41 getting cake all over the floor. She never says sorry started whoever worked at that fucking catering room in the Marriott or wherever that scene took place at the prostitution hall, you know, whoever had to wipe the butter off of every single surrounding table. How about you apologize to the English language because prostitution hall does not actually make any sense. No kidding. It's like a double positive.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Like prostitution is not is not natural. I don't even know if prostitution hall a I can't ask anybody's English. I'm like that was Actival so you spoke good you spoke good Gamps man on the ice mad amina came out of angus which means everything's okay You know you know whoever flew those planes into the buildings on 9-11 was pissed off too Let's for bus everything's forgiven everybody as long as you're angry as long I'd be like Ronnie. This is dangerous territory except that we have a nice old Hitler reference later So I guess this is just gonna be that kind of podcast I'm just trying to pick the worst crimes in the world. It's like, okay. Well, it's okay as long as you were mad
Starting point is 00:29:41 Okay, you were angry. We all understand. Let's just mad her. Mad Lauer is like, it just, it came. I was in a place of hurt, which is why I locked you in my office. And yeah, I was just really hurt at a fashion show. So I locked you in my office, okay. So Dolores is watching this and she's like, uh, uh, this isn't good. Mass. This isn't good. Dolores is very close.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Yeah. Hey, Matt, she's texting Maz. I'm gonna be late again. You won't believe the shit that's happening here. It's a goddammit! Did you get the food for boo? Oh, boo. Forgot. Oh, boo. Okay, I'd like to get up. I'd like to take my turn and talk to boo.
Starting point is 00:30:24 They're like, oh, good. So it get up. I'd like to take my turn and talk to boo Is boo here with us right now like it's isn't a say-ons So Teresa's like no, I was angry so I didn't count okay, and she's like would you be willing to say that to my tutors? Okay, and Teresa goes well, yeah, I mean I guess if it really bothers them Thanks for the sincerity Yeah, I think it does calling their mother a whore. Yes, it kind of bothers them to reset This is Joe's fault So then Vicki me and while she goes I think the takeaway from all this is that words hurt. It's a great. Thanks Einstein No, the takeaway from all this is that words hurt. It's a great thanks Einstein. No, the takeaway
Starting point is 00:31:05 is Teresa going, look, there's an Italian saying the tongue breaks bones. The takeaway is that I ordered garlic bread fall of us and it's ready for us so we can take that away. The takeaway is out here. Thanks for bringing that out to me. All right, got the takeaway. Let's go. It's very British ever to be calling the take out the takeaway. So I got some puddings. This pudding is solid. I don't get it. Why is this putting like an uncooked biscuit? It's like a gooey cake.
Starting point is 00:31:45 I don't get I don't get putting anymore. There's no proof in this. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting, hosted by myself Megan that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app.
Starting point is 00:32:48 So Joe goes on a uncle date with Melania. Yeah, I think they go go carting like once a season or if not three times. But yeah, that's it's nice. They go go carting and then then he sits her down and they talk about no non. She talks about her feelings. I was sort of weird that she feels like no, no still at the hospital just hasn't come back. Yeah, sad. Sad is nice. Yeah, he's like, you saw a ghost, huh? It was my mommy. You remember seeing her? She's like, yeah, I saw her. She was like cooking eggs. Did she tell you where she left? What would you even, I'm trying to think of something valuable to Joe Gorgon,
Starting point is 00:33:20 but I can't think of anything. I mean, that's how it's made with like foam marble. So, to Joe Gorgah, but I can't think of anything. I mean, this house made with like foam marble. So, yeah, a spank crack. Can you ask her? Can you ask her where she buried my first edition hustler? Asuka. Yeah. So, I guess fast forward.
Starting point is 00:33:37 It was really nice. I think I just want to say that Joe Gorgah, for as much as he can be like a caveman, I do think he's like a really sweet uncle and good to good to good to his kids. Even though he ran horses like old fashioned gender roles. Even though it's a total pig, you know, pig is very sweet. I mean, there's a whole industry built around sweet pigs.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Look at babe. I mean, what a adorable little guy, but he's like, look, I weigh this rosary. You know why? I don't either, but you know, that's what we do. Sometimes I hit myself on the back with it. Well, I'm fucking well, I'm fucking Melissa. Okay, look, I'm gonna be like your daddy, okay? If you need anything, tell me I'll find a way to steal it from a family in the neighborhood. So I mean, she's like, okay. So back at the retreat, it's nighttime. the girls decided to get dressed up and they're putting on all their makeup and see he's like, I almost just put lip gloss in my eyelashes. Which would have been amazing.
Starting point is 00:34:33 No, you lip gloss. No, my eyelashes were almost soggy. That's it, that's all I had to say about that. Sorry, I was blowing my nose on mute. Oh, I was like, okay, you don't have to pile on if you don't want to. Sometimes when I start laughing and like if you're blowing your nose I can see it happening and I'll be like okay I got this from here lip gloss in the eye lash soggy soggy soggy I lash driving over trash can't lids soggy flicker I'm taking ownership of the name that cuts me to my core my is Sagi. I live on the second floor! I live upstairs from you! Yes, I think you've completely disrespected me before.
Starting point is 00:35:34 That's for sure. And that hurt my feeling! I did not expect a Suzanne Vega reference. That... that was... Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da And I said, did you see what I drove over? And he says, be quiet, mama, my teenager. I'm gonna leave your home alone. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- I started to cry and then I called Michael Campanella and they were instructed to voicemail and I left him up voicemail and then she'll turn the pallet. Da da da da da all time and I go to hug Dolores and I feel something strange And as I look beyond Dolores, I see it's Michael Campanella too. Oh my god, so much Oh my god, we have to do the rest of Sige in season Vegas on. She's it's always another entry another another.
Starting point is 00:37:12 So they all meet and they're on these big catches and Dolores is like kind of laying on this chair with her one of her legs over the, I don't know why the snow laughed, but it's hilarious just watching how Dolores watches everybody else. She's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. She's doing that thing where you just left the golden corral and they were out of teeth fix and so you're trying to suck like chicken skin out of your teeth. She's giving that look to everybody around her.
Starting point is 00:37:44 She's doing her best. Like, hey, I'm Annabelle Shora and a 1988 sexual thriller pose. Yes, pretty much. She's like, remember how I pretended that I was just some dumb girl with the leg over the arm of the chair, but then I ruined your life. I remember it was so fun. What a time. What a time.
Starting point is 00:38:02 What a time to be alive. The women in danger up tricked you. The man is in danger now. I'm a the fucker. Just call me Joanne Wally. Kill me. Anyway. Okay. So it's happening.
Starting point is 00:38:22 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I thought we were weird things to me. This is weird. We're really. Okay, and also it's our Friday because we're taking off tomorrow, which we didn't mention. But we've got so many shows coming next week. We're taking another Friday off. And so I think we're just like, yeah, school's over.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Let's go party. So, Sigi, she's like, guys, remember when we were at the fire pit and me and Margaret pretended to make up? And then I sang songs about fast cars and trash car lids. They're like, yes, yes, Sige. Okay, well that was for trust. Now this time, let's open up deeper. So Margaret's like, all right, you know what, I'll go first. You know the story, I met you out, you know, I'll go first you know the story I met you out Da da da da da da da da you know you had he had a wireless screw gun
Starting point is 00:39:08 I thought that was attractive. He said you know you want some confetti on the floor I fucked him up my entire family like who's to blame me, but then I ruined my family Where? Where? Where? And Ziggy goes now what does Ziggy say here? Did she say okay? Do you wish or did she say, I wish you would
Starting point is 00:39:25 have ended your marriage first. Yeah, I think she said I wish. I wish you could have done that first. She's like, well yeah, that's what I would have wanted to have in an ideal world. You stupid bitch. But of course it didn't happen that way. I fell in love with the man with a screw gun. Okay, it's too exciting. I didn't know what a screw gun is. It shoots a screws. I don't know. Maybe stable gun in a screwdriver. I don't know. I got excited. I get, you see a utility belt. I got excited. I get you to the belt I get excited. I want to edit them in the collection. It's just a luck going on. It's just classic
Starting point is 00:39:49 Much classic and post of much ovens turned off, but the heat is on. You know what I'm saying? It's the first time the first time I actually had sex with him with the first time that I just let the waffle Fry's saw on the countertop like I didn't even know at that time that the oven didn't work. Like, that's how much I wish that I had waited till later. You know what I mean? I remember the first time I saw him up in a ladder, he was in my den, putting up a picture frame, and I said, nice drill,
Starting point is 00:40:14 I wish you would drill me, get it, classic march. I just, I didn't know what from Joe, I just, it's like, they just, they just fall right out of me every single time. You know what, I can't help it. First time he banged me on the stairs with the screw gun, I didn't even know what he was doing, classic march, classic march. You know what, I told him help it. First time he banged me on the stairs with the screw gun. I didn't even know what he was doing. Classic match. Classic match.
Starting point is 00:40:26 You know what? I told him I told him when he was done. I said, Hey, Joe, you just got jumped and he'd let boy did you laugh. Boy, he was trying to, he was trying to hang up planted. I said, I need to find my stud finder. I said, guess what? I'm the stud finder and I found you. Okay. Do me right now. Classic, John. Classic, John. I even made that beat me sound. I mean, it was hilarious. It was hilarious.
Starting point is 00:40:50 But you don't know, we always keep it level. See what I did there? Okay. I just wish his name was Alan, so I could call him Alan Rensh. Don't worry, I screwed this one into a beam, so I know it's going to be more stable. You see what I did there? Anybody, anybody get it?
Starting point is 00:41:08 You guys got your scotch on, so all of you. It's hilarious. Joe had a whole section of Hot Witch Oaks, okay, and I was the inspiration for all of them. So anyway, so yeah, so she's crying because our kids don't talk to her anymore. And I like Vicky's advice, says, you know, what I think I want you to do is you need to talk to your ex-husband and say, listen, I'm gutted about this. It's killing me inside. Like, will you help me mend with the children? I'm like, what do I have in feeling like Margaret has probably asked her ex-husband that before? He comes over and has coffee with her. I'm sure she's
Starting point is 00:41:39 said it a few times. Yeah, I'm sure she's said the most obvious things. Like she's like, you know what I would do if I was you, I would say, I'm sorry. Great idea. Great idea. Do you try sending an edible arrangement? People love those. Have you ever got them a pillow where there's a word written on cursophilic love? Maybe something like that. Maybe you could try something like that. That would be great. Have you looked into the shoebox greetings? You know, there were there were there are apologies section. The very convincing. Have you tried a $5 bill on their birthdays?
Starting point is 00:42:12 Because I've heard those really work for children. So Mark Margaret's like, you know, I very shit. So you know what that was hilarious. Mark's done. Okay. Someone else can show up. I. Yeah, I had much. Not Jeff, not Jeff. And so then trees like, okay, well, I could just go down the storyline path to Caroline
Starting point is 00:42:30 Manto and watch what crap in sky said I was going to go down years ago, which is blame everything on Joe set myself up for divorce and a spin off of me raising my kids on my own. All right, I'll go. When Joe came home, he was drinking a lot. I wish he'd been stronger, but women are stronger than men, okay? Anyone he says marriage is perfect. I got resentment, but I can't cry of his spilled milks.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Well, and importantly, in the middle of that, Vicki said, so did Joe ever apologize about what he did? And she goes, well, you know, no marriage is perfect. I was like, okay, that means no he never apologize yeah i know he didn't apologize because you do what he was fucking doing the whole i just i think and did he apologize no you know what i'm going to yell at him for spill in the milk
Starting point is 00:43:20 you can't cry ever spilled milk unless that milk spills on something that's really valuable like everything. I can't believe Teresa didn't take the opportunity to say spilt milk. Spills as milk says. That's in my new cookbook spilt milk. Take one gallon milk, put it on side, spill it, and then you have spilled milk to enjoy. Siggie's like, well feelings have a way of festering, but you got to release. Okay, Siggie. You know what? Siggie, stop releasing. How about that? How about let's let the audience give you some advice. Stop releasing. Oh, I wanted to keep releasing. I wanted to be in nothing. I wanted to be like Rihanna,
Starting point is 00:44:01 just releasing every few weeks. Just another another another nugget Yeah, Melissa's like I think that she just needs to say she wants an apology of shut up Melissa So then Teresa's like Dolores Hello Dolores is sorry that she doesn't stand that's was from me and I Dolores going Says yeah, so Dolores will you share something that no one else knows? Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Well, I'm gonna have a fair for animals this Saturday. It's gonna be a charity for animals. So I've won't you come. I think Frankie's gonna be there. Frank might be there. I don't know if Mazda's gonna be there. He's gotta do the gym. But I did ask Mazda to get look over the cabinets for me.
Starting point is 00:44:40 So I don't know, and then there's a pasta on the floor. So I don't even know if Frank is gonna be there because he's gotta clean up that pasta. I'm not gonna let him not clean that up, okay? So all you girls better come with the Beyonce cast and everything. I've also got a couple chairs for my kids that the boys haven't finished putting together yet.
Starting point is 00:44:52 So those will be there if anyone wants to lend me hands. We'd call it the IKEA station. You can bring your dogs, they can watch what you put together my chairs. That'd be great, actually. And Margaret's like, are you fucking kidding me? I went off about my kids to dog charity, but what about that have go? Of course, I could have go. I love anything with fire. Yeah. And I also like being on TV. Also, I like purple fur. Oh, you know, blue
Starting point is 00:45:15 classic. I'm any kind of part. Also, Polaro turtlenecks. That's a lonely halfway, halfway dead. You know what I like to do? I like to wear a freestanding dickie. That's what I like. Mara's just playing the game right, though. She's like, anytime I'm invited to something where the cameras are, I'm getting myself on camera. I'm going to every event. Because the people who boycott events, they're the ones with the problems, because we like seeing people interact.
Starting point is 00:45:39 So she knows what's up. I'm a vicky, the useless ass vicky. It's like, all right, I'm proud of everybody. Okay. So, you know, it's funny talking about those, those, those, those Bolero, what are you calling them? They're based on the, the capelets. Someone's, someone's, Bolero, what they're called.
Starting point is 00:45:59 They're like a Bolero half, a Bolero dickie made. Maybe a Mr. Bolero dickie. Maybe a little dickie. Bolero Dickey made. Maybe in this or Bolero Dickey. Maybe in something like that. Yeah. Anited Bolero Turtle Neck Dickey. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I was there for it. Why not?
Starting point is 00:46:12 So it's funny because some of our listeners have been posting photos. One of our listeners posted photos like, oh my god, I was just looking to my drawer and look what I found. And she had something from the Macbeth collection, which was kind of hilarious that Margaret has already infiltrated our lives. But you know, that's what good fashion does. It infiltrates our lives.
Starting point is 00:46:30 And some of us need a little help with that, because if you're not careful, you might wind up with a piece from the Macbeth collection. So that's why I have recently been relying on stitch fix for my fashion needs. And guess what? Can't I say something? I'm now on my like third or third or fourth month of it.
Starting point is 00:46:48 I'm loving it. I'm loving it. Yes. And you know, like we get to try this stuff at first, but when Ben is saying he's on his third or fourth, that is not some gift he's getting. That is like he really is using the service. I'm using it.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Like yeah, the first gift, I mean the first box, you know, since we're sponsored, there are sponsors, whatever, we, you know, they gave us like, oh, here, you basically get like more or less a free box. Here's a big discount code. But since then, it's all me. I'm putting down my own money for it. The shirt that I wore to our San Francisco show is from Stitch Fix. The, this last week, when I was wearing sweats on the airplane, I was wearing a very, very fashionable sweatshirt from Stitch Fix.
Starting point is 00:47:27 I mean, it's good. I'm out. My Boston outfit will be Stitch Fix, both my cashmere sweater and my button down. Really? You get, oh, that's, they get your cashmere sweater in a button down. That's why I got my Stitch Fix working for me. Okay. Now, look, love it.
Starting point is 00:47:42 I hate it. There is no deny you could be shopping pet, okay? You either spend all day at the mall and you end up with yet another striped t-shirt, Bolero, Dickey or whatever. You scroll again to see online. Just leave everything in your car. Like, would you own to that? No, don't wouldn't. She'd be, she'd be getting a box every month going through and being hilarious. Just like me, okay? Now you can stop the productive way and end up with stuff you actually love with Stitch Fix. Okay, let me tell you something else. Okay, this is my good jokes of speaking on behalf of Stitch Fix.
Starting point is 00:48:11 Okay, right now, let me tell you something. If you don't use Stitch Fix, you might find yourself shopping at Posh and no one wants to shop at Posh. Okay, you don't want to give me these fashions, what you want is Stitch Fix. So whether you're looking to express your personal style or address for the job you want, or you just want something new, like a classic march, but new stitch fix can style for you on your time. Yeah, you don't even have to leave the house, man, which is really helpful because I literally cut it for like months.
Starting point is 00:48:36 You know, you just go on your brilliant style profile out online and stitch fixals and clothes, shoes, accessories, picked out just for use. Your size is your life's size, your budget is, and of course what you like. It's not up to Joe. He's not even here. Am I mad? A little. I'm a little mad. Each Stitch Fix box contains five items not including my heart, which you can try on at home. So you can see what works with your wardrobe and you only pay for the items you keep, but just keep in mind for every item you return. You are cutting me to the core.
Starting point is 00:49:14 And look, sending back everything is easy as long as you're not some drama queen idiot, okay? Stitch Fix covers shipping boat ways for returns in exchanges too. You know what, if they had kitchens in a box, I'd say Stitch Fix, send me a kitch fix. Okay, that's how good they are. I get my countertops off from this box.
Starting point is 00:49:31 That's how good they are. There's no subscription required. You can get your fix monthly, quarterly, or whenever you feel like it. Yeah, I was telling Maz, you could just get started now at stitchfix.com slash crap ends and you also get 25% off when you keep all five items in your box and like Maz, don% off when you keep all five items in your
Starting point is 00:49:45 box and like, Matt, don't you want to keep all five items in your box for 25% off? And then Frankie's like, well, that's stitchfix.com slash crap in the tries stitchfix today. And I was like, Frankie, you got to talk to your dad Frank and Frank says, stitchfix.com slash crap in the like, okay, well, I got new cabinets. That's stitchfix.com slash crap in. I really, I really do love stitch fix like I actually genuinely get excited when I get my emails at a light time for your next dish fix I'm like we love do you stitch fix? Okay, so now let's go to Backages it the retreat is over though the retreat is over when I'm back home
Starting point is 00:50:22 And we're getting little snapshots of everyone's life you see the Lord's like hey Frankie wake up wake up I'm sending in a million dogs into your bedroom to wake you up wake up. Come on. Yeah, let me shove you in the abs Okay, wake up Frankie, and then she pulls off his blanket He's like, what are you doing? I'm Andy sitting at home like just jerking it. He's like he did it He did it So and he's like pressing the lock button on his bedroom door. From his desk. So, Andrew is knocking.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Andrew, you in there? Andrew is knocking on Frankie's door. Like, don't do this to me, Frankie. So, Mel, now this, when we were watching this episode, I was texting Ben. Like, there are so many Easter eggs for you in the show This one was Melissa because it's the first time I think we've ever seen a parent tell their child to get off the counters Yes, I wrote it's funny
Starting point is 00:51:13 I didn't realize that was Easter egg for me, but I did write Joey get off the counter Yeah, I wrote Ben must be very proud right now. Wow. I mean it's the first time anyone has been kicked off the counter It's amazing And then after all this, we settle in on Teresa showing up at Seagullshouse and they go sit down to go to her backyard and they sit at the outdoor fire pit and say, look what Michael Campanella did. This is a And the smalls here, all the memories will have roasting. Those smalls, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, it. Yeah, it's not some Aussies. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother, I'm a mother I can't pretend that you're only my friend would make me mad at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that at that I'm a different person to Reese the other day. I was like Michael Campanella. I'm in the mood And she's like, I'm glad you're having sex now the only important reason to bring that up is because of course the accusation is that Teresa's totally cheating on Joe this whole time And having plenty of sex
Starting point is 00:53:58 Yeah, when was the last time you saw Joe treat? Well, I'm only missing you when I got back from Puerto Rico But I'm your son, Joe Treesh. Well, I'm only missing when I got back from Puerto Rico, but I'm last time. You know, my music. I didn't know what was happening. Not like for just saying things. I got resentments and busy. Yeah, she basically did not seem Joe in three months, which is hilarious because Joe would take the kids to see Teresa every single week.
Starting point is 00:54:23 And she's like, yeah, I can't go to Dan Berry's. Although, actually, I don't know where Joe is. He may be farther away. It may be more of a schlep than Dan Berry. Yeah, I think he got moved, but I don't think he got moved way back then. Because if he's like in Ohio or something, I'm understandable.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Yeah, because Dan Berry is, you know, that's Connecticut. That's near the mall. I used to go to when I was a little boy. Yeah, but she's such a hypocrite because she made him come there every fucking week. And she doesn't even go see him at all. And now she's just turning on him on TV, which and you know what? We saw coming. And he deserves it. He deserves it. He called her the seawater cut fitness on TV and clearly cheating on her. So he deserves it. Really? And the airplane could fall out of the sky and crush Teresa and Orjo and we would,
Starting point is 00:55:09 we would be able to say the same thing. They serve it. So, uh, Siggie is like, Oh, good. I think I can make her cry. So you haven't seen Joe. You can cry. It's okay. You can cry. You're allowed to cry. You're hurt. You're so Katie. Be sad. I'm sad. That's my greatest power. Is that I'm sad? Are you sad? I want to cry. Do you want to cry with you're hurt, you're so Katy be sad. I'm sad. That's my greatest power is that I'm sad Are you sad? I want to cry. Do you want to cry with me? Let's cry together Would you like a know you're worth that Where right now? Why you cry? Do you mind if I insta that?
Starting point is 00:55:36 Such reason Oh, sorry, I was I'm smoking that's all that's all I was gonna say No, no, no smoke. No, no, that's all I was gonna say. She's like deep deep to Lisa. Just say fuck it And she's like, yeah, you know what I mean? I need to put my walls down. Yeah, yeah, Teresa It's your walls that need to go down and then she goes my All right dog event whatever quiet Kathy Dennis, okay dog event her Quatt Cathy Dennis. Okay, dog event. Do you want to know if the onyx and breezy foundation? And well, that they just rolls off the tongue.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Onyx and breezy. Onyx and breezy. It's basically like clothing cleaners spelled wrong. It's like oxyclean and febreze. Yeah, onyx and breezy. She's like the love of my life Was it told called boo Really de laurs we didn't know Somewhere boo and milu are having sex in doggy heaven. You know this You somewhere milu and boo are like i-buggers in someone's eyes because they were like tossed
Starting point is 00:56:47 as dust out into the middle of a wind storm. Ashes to ashes, dust to Leuands hair. Dust to eye-buggers. Just like the Bible said, so Joe and Margaret come and then there's Wanda the prisoner organizer in a Nords jumpsuit I don't know where they found her they're like hey Wanda are you done picking up trash on the side of the road Come over to this come over to this event. I'd love to talk to me boo Wanda Tell me do you know that middler? Because you know
Starting point is 00:57:23 Yes, yes, it's always good when you have to explain your jokes. No, you didn't. I was drinking. I always think you're gonna like do something long. I'm like, okay, Dolores talked about boo. I'm like sitting back, lighting up a cigar. Sometimes I'm walking. I mean, I did like a 10 minutes Suzanne Vega run. Yeah, we're at 55. So it's time to get through this, you know, right? So Danielle shows up with her dogs named paradise and angel, which I don't know why that cracks me up It's just like the cheesy those names. You know that she probably sits alone and eats like You know bachi balls while listening to Andrea Bocelli while playing with her dogs in the living room You know, that's what Danielle's life is You're long to walk in ladies and gentlemen Andrea Bocelli She's like what is he blind? So I take off my necklace,
Starting point is 00:58:09 she doesn't even bad night. Yeah, Joe would touch the dogs that he's allergic. Okay, I wore the bootle, I wore a poodle coat the first time we fucked. That's how we found out it was so awkward. It was against the beam. He started sneezing. I was like, oh my God,
Starting point is 00:58:25 why aren't the kids talking to me? It happened that fast. What a cute dog over there. You got Jones. And to think I was just about to get a lobster, lobster. So, Sige is like hugging everyone except Danielle. So Danielle's like,
Starting point is 00:58:38 hmm, and the quet, it says, has Sige talked to Danielle about the retreat? Everyone's wondering how Sige talked to Danielle about the retreat. Everyone's wondering how Siggy talked to Danielle about the retreat. Well, is that what it was? Melissa's trying to start some shit here for Siggy and Danielle, which is kind of odd because Dan, Melissa and Danielle are tight. Danielle helped get Melissa on this show. So I'm normally I would say she's betraying Danielle,
Starting point is 00:59:03 but I think she's just trying to set Danielle up for a decent scene so she can keep her job You know, yeah, and away. This is actually trying to help her, but sick. He's like, did you like the retreat Melissa? And she's like, yeah, well, how are you in Margaret because you know Did you think she felt it was genuine because I don't know if this making up was genuine because you know Did you talk to Danielle about the retreat because she said that she didn't think it was genuine and you were just doing it because you know, we were in a Marriott and you wanted to sell some hashtag hats or whatever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:33 And the funny thing is that Sigg is reaction was kind of like, I don't care. I really don't care. I was like, where did this come from? Where did this, where did like non-emotional, these pellets really are working. Just like, you know what I think about what Danielle says? Nothing. Like wait, wait a second. Wait a second. Look, with Melissa, with Teresa, with Dolores,
Starting point is 00:59:52 there's a history there. It's like with the cake, there was a history. I love cake, okay? Danielle, I don't care about Danielle. It's like Boca Raton, there's a history there. Hi, Joni, hi, Jody. Hi, Jody to Margot. Joanne. Just watching around the dog park like buttons black face, purdles.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Like, okay. So the meme about, well, this is happening. Danielle is talking to a classic Marge and Danielle's, you know, in her, she's in her, hey, if you give me $20, I'll give you a tip on who knocked off Joey panty face. So she's like, yeah, so much. So you and Ziggy are back together, huh? You know, because I was thinking, I'm not sure if I'm so sincere. I sort of think that she got back together you because she needed to look good. You know, to make her symposiums look like they work and classic margins. Like, huh, you know, now that you say that, it's like I had, you know,
Starting point is 01:00:52 I had every intention to make you up with it. But you know, now that you say you make a very good point, you know, this is like, this is sort of like, this is the sort of attention to detail that we put in the Macbeth collection. That's a very good point. I don't know. Maybe I'm not friends with it after all. Oh my god. Okay. Yeah. Nothing like stirring up shit's a big point. I don't know. Maybe I'm not friends with the after all. Okay. Yeah. Nothing like stirring up shit in a dog park. So then Dolores is talking to Teresa. The girls are talking to Teresa and then all of a sudden we and then all of a sudden we hear did
Starting point is 01:01:15 somebody's somebody's Toyota parked over there. We have your keys. We found your keys. Someone's Toyota parked a little he would he would be there fucking DJ James Kennedy By the way, it's really hard to go from Jersey access to DJ James Kennedy's accent. I thought that was a hairpin turn I thought I could make I couldn't make it I could do it. Hello. I have the keys to it Wiggy Wiggy Sorry, you were saying Zalora starts she's like well, I'm doing this charity. I'm going to Kim T's charity You know because it's charity and Teresa's like Yeah, I don't think it's charity. I think she's just saying that she's just saying that I'm like you're really not somebody to jump on
Starting point is 01:01:57 Someone else for tax fraud. Okay, Teresa. Just keep your mouth shut over there. Yeah, so he's like it's a charity A terrifying thing happened in Paterson, New Jersey. Only one, only one terrifying thing happened every lifetime movie begins. A terrifying thing happened in Paterson, New Jersey. This is the candor and Ed. This is like the sequel to a funny thing happened on the way to forum a horrific thing happened in Madison, Jersey. Every it just all takes place in a truck.
Starting point is 01:02:29 So, Kim D's, son's friends took his car and were burned alive at it, which I'm sure had nothing to do with the organized crime at all. I'm sure they were just, you know, mining their business, driving along and someone started them all fire. So, there's a charity event for it, which they're going to raise a ton of money, you know, at the posh strip ball charity event. A dollar from every garlic garlic bread sale. Every go to re re repulsed her son's car. Okay. So, so, uh, Theresa and Melissa are obviously not going to go to the fashion show because they hate
Starting point is 01:03:08 Kim D.V.'s days. But Dolores and Sighi are going to go and they're like, oh, maybe now is not the right time to tell them that we're planning to go. So already, the evil spectre of the posh fashion show has presented itself and we can already see that it is going to cause a big ol' problem, which I'm happy for. Yeah. Right to check then. She's then terrible things in my family.
Starting point is 01:03:32 Yeah. Remember that time when you tried to set Melissa for being a stripper by having her extra pper boss so up, you can't look a lot now, but... Exactly. So then we go to the McBath showroom in New York City, where classic magic is there. We're just walking around looking at things, and we get to see a lot of her collection,
Starting point is 01:03:50 and there's a bag that says, let's flamingo, let's tube flamingo's kissing out. It's just hilarious. It's like I tried it to join right before she died. She said, that's hilarious. You gotta put it on the bag. So put it on the bag. And guess what?
Starting point is 01:03:59 It's my best seller now at raw stress for less. Unfortunately, there's a lot of people who are scared of birds. So I also had to do the exact same bag, but this time they see horses kissing because like who's afraid of sea horses? Yeah. I mean, it's hilarious.
Starting point is 01:04:14 Just look at them. It's like a personal hilarious. It's just like a hilarious. Joan would have called it a bag of tricks, which is what I call it as well. Jumped, you got jumped. All right, so she's like, come to Italy with me, Melissa, because Melissa's like, well, it's really weird having a store
Starting point is 01:04:30 because like, I need to learn, you know, what other people want to buy. And not just people from Jersey who are like a size two or below, you know, you know, you know, what you need, you need to come to need you need to come to Italy. Okay, I don't know how we went from that to Italy. She could sell the size four in Changer and Tire and Business Model. Yeah. So, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:50 So, this is obviously setting up what's going to be the cash trip in a few episodes. And then we go over to Dolores and Siggy and they are at the Posh boutique, where Kim D. has made her first appearance the season. Always a joyous time. Um, yes. Oh my God. And she's just ready to go, but she's just basically sitting there with a sling in an arrow, just waiting to go.
Starting point is 01:05:11 I like how she, she perches herself on that little stool behind the, behind the desk. And she just sits and watches. She's just like, all right, I got my, I got my fake Starbucks here. And we're just going to watch you guys. All right, go walk, walk a little bit now, change, now walk. Okay. Guess what Teresa's Teresa's building the mail man. Okay walk a little bit more
Starting point is 01:05:31 Pretty much and so you're like what are you saying? What are you doing right now Kim? It's what I heard what are you gonna get mad at me for what I heard to recess having sex with somebody? Okay, everybody knows that I'm just someone saying it. Unless you have a picture of the we we entering the cookie, who gives a shit? I'm like, I would prefer not to see that we we in cookie situation. Honestly, you also like when when when
Starting point is 01:05:58 Sigi when when can be like, they're talking about the show and and Sigi's like, well, to recent is not coming. Well, this is not coming quite obviously because they don't like you. It can be because okay. Yeah, thanks a lot. By the way, did I mention that Teresa is having sex with a male man from the country club, literally in cold of sex all over town. Look, I don't even know what she's doing. She's doing it right in cold of sex. People are sending it to each other on their WhatsApp. What are you talking about right now? I'm having hard palputations. She says hard palputations. And Kim's like, okay, okay, it's
Starting point is 01:06:34 over. It's over, it's over, but guess what I think you treated her, and she says better, that's okay, it's over, it's over, you can come out now. One more thing, she's a whore, okay, it's over. Okay, we'll see. One more thing, she's a whore, okay, it's over. Okay, we'll see you when we walk in your show, the next episode. So Dolores is like, well, some people would question why I'm in the room with her. But some people would also question why I'm friends with Teresa.
Starting point is 01:06:57 I love that Dolores is just standing there with a big ring of fucking jail prison keys. And she's just jangling them, not giving a fuck about anything. Some people would question why we got three more political machines instead of, you know, treadmills, okay? But sorry, Maz, that's just what I want, okay, Maz? Some people would question why Maz is staring at his phone, trying to figure out the exact minute I'm supposed to be at work instead of doing something like wiping down the spin machines, but you know, that's some people.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Some people would question why it takes three months to put together an IKEA chair. Some people would question why it's so hard to pour all the pasta into the container. I don't know. Some people would question why the bathroom smells like asparagus every time mass comes out. I don't know. A lot of questions. So the ladies join up and go have some dinner for this lovely finale scene. And Melissa's already there. Trees shows up and she's like, yeah, I took Gabriela
Starting point is 01:07:52 to a bout my, my, my misfas and she was in a dress that looks beautiful. And Melissa's like, well, well, it's that time of year. Barmits fa time. I'm like, well, I think the barmits fa has happened all year round. Huh? It's when you turn to 13s and stuff. You become a real man, a real woman. It's what the dude with Jewishes do. Huh? Oh, but I thought it was religious. Well, it is religious.
Starting point is 01:08:13 Huh? Huh? I never knew what by misfits were. I thought it was when you do a good thing for a bar. No, it's for children. I was like, oh my goodness. You become a woman at 13. Don't tell Joe.
Starting point is 01:08:22 Oh, he knows. I just can't believe that Teresa is like the ambassador for Judaism on this show. Come on one minute 13 don't tell Joe. Oh, he knows I just can't believe that Teresa is like the ambassador for Judaism on this show Melissa wow So Margaret arrived so everybody basically arrives and yeah, they announced Melissa's like I have an announcement girls I'm going to Milan to learn what a size four means. Anybody want to come? And Margaret's like, oh yeah, I got a shoe lying. It's an Italy. Melissa's got to come.
Starting point is 01:08:51 She doesn't even understand what what Tom's are. You know, I'm like 10% goes to poor people. Like what do you need to know? They made out of fabric. They're comfortable. Buy some. You know what I'm saying. By the way, was that the only one who was sort of thought it was weird that Melissa invited
Starting point is 01:09:04 everyone on the trip when it was Margaret's trip Well, it's Margaret's it's Margaret's fake business trip. Okay, you can't be inviting people onto her fake business trip That's up to her to invite people onto her fake business trip. Yeah, Melissa's like anybody want to come to Milan and help me design design my C-Horps Is kissing purses anybody want to come to you like I'm a Milan. Yeah, I'm a Anybody want to treat like I'm a millennia after Milan So isn't it so wrong Have a show Milan no she spells Milan. Yeah, like like the city. It's Milan. Yeah Trump that spelled like melanin which is a panic So so then see like well before we get too excited about Milan
Starting point is 01:09:47 Let me say something that may make you reconsider first of all, I love Milano cookies, so there's that. Second of all, I love the orange chocolate Milano cookies, so there's that also. Third of all, I'm going to Bosch Fashion Show and I'm walking in it and Dolores is doing it too. Like what? And Trace is like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you guys walking into the fucking show, I thought you was going, not that you was walking. And Dolores is like, all right, right, right, right, let me, let me clarify something. Kim D said you were boating someone. So I mean, Dolores, wait, no, no, you're supposed to say, no, we, we are like, it's, we're
Starting point is 01:10:23 doing it for charity. The second thing should be like, it's charity, don't worry. we are like, it's, we're doing it for charity. The second thing should have been like, it's charity, don't worry. Not not, by the way, this is what Kim D said. Even though she was trying to say it, like, she was trying to say, listen, she tried to start shit and we had your backs, I don't worry, we still have your back, but she just, she came out all wrong.
Starting point is 01:10:39 Yeah, on camera and in front of everybody, brings up this affair that Teresa is supposedly, maybe most likely and we come on let's face it having. Yeah. And she's like, and you're walking in the show, are you fucking kidding me? Because Teresa immediately goes from like, I'm not thinking I'm a sweet lady to squealing and throwing things in like two seconds, you know. Right. Because Teresa and and Melissa are like, how could you do this? How could you do this? Of course Danielle and Margaret just jump on board also. And Dolores is like, I'm
Starting point is 01:11:10 neutral. I'm neutral. And Dolores reminds us. She's like, it wasn't, it was only like two years ago that Melissa, I mean, Trey was always much closer with Kim D. than I ever was. And only two years ago, that Teresa was helping spread rumors with Kim D around the posh fashion shows. So yeah, I say neutral. I say neutral, okay. And Melissa's like, we don't live in Switzerland. You got to pick sides.
Starting point is 01:11:35 And then this is when Margaret gets fired up and she's because Siggy's like, I judge my friends and how they treat me and she has always been good to me basically. And Margaret's like, Segi, Hitler without have killed me. Does that make him a good person? Segi's like, do not compute. She's like, I was in the basement for that part. I don't remember. I must also surprise that Margaret got so fired up.
Starting point is 01:12:00 I mean, she really doesn't know these women very well. She definitely doesn't know Kim D's. So the fact that she's like, Segi, or should I say better known as SIGGI? What are you saying? How could you defend her? She's like Hitler? Because she got mad because SIGGI said well when we went to Boca, you know me and Margaret were I'm getting along did I tell you not to go to her party? I'm a list of like oh listen. Miss relationship expert. Okay, she called you soggy This woman has called me a stripper a whore a piece of shit. I'm like, well
Starting point is 01:12:33 I'm waiting I'm waiting till you hit one. It's like incorrect like I'm waiting for a wharmy to pop up, but it never does That's you know. So at least it's like, I'm human. I'm human. Maaaaah. Well, because Doloresco and Doloresco is, listen, Teresa, if it's true, because you know she wants to say something like, if it's true, and then she's going to qualify it with something, but all Teresa here is if it's true, and Teresa is like, hey, and she grabs a glass, turns around and just throws against the wall.
Starting point is 01:13:03 It's not. Well, it shatters it. I mean Jesus Christ that thing shattered and she screams like it's not fucking true And the best part is I don't know if you noticed the waiter in the background didn't even turn around wasn't even surprised like Oh shit. What was that? It's like this clearly happens all the time here. Yeah, they're all wearing safety goggles Yeah, yeah, we're like would you like another rail teeny? She's like it's not true when you said a step up for me, which is all Teresa ever says. Like she's the head of the fucking mob or something. And Dolores stands up and gets right in her face.
Starting point is 01:13:34 I go, yeah, yeah. So they're like fighting in each other's face. She's like, I did and you should stick up for me. And regarding Danielle, I mean, this is funny because only like two weeks ago, Teresa was mad at her brother for sticking up for Melissa in the stupid restaurant view that they had. And we're like, oh, I'm so sick of people saying it's my wife. I'm gonna stand up for my wife. Well, it's like, and here she says, you should sit up for me.
Starting point is 01:13:53 So, so Teresa is up, the Laura is up, Danielle is up, a chair falls over. Everyone in the restaurant is like, oh my god, this is amazing. The more family behind them is just trying to get through their calamari. The mom is like, why am I bleeding from my eye? What happened? Does anybody, am I bleeding from my eye? I can only see red. Melissa is screaming, and you still walking her show.
Starting point is 01:14:16 You still walking the show. And the door is just like, you don't tell me what to do. And Margaret's like, she's hot. She's devastated. And the door is just like, you know what, shut up, shut up Margaret for two seconds, just like two seconds, just shut up. I'm gonna get out of there.
Starting point is 01:14:29 I'm about, I'm about, you're adept. And she's like, do you even have a heart, Margaret? She is, no, no, I don't have a heart. Call the tin man, okay? That's hilarious, okay? That's what I do. You just got, you just got a dwy-peep, okay? So it happened to you right now.
Starting point is 01:14:43 And then you're like, well, the night the line has been drawn, have a nice night, ladies. Up, Danielle. Just shut up. And see, Siggie decides to, um, to, uh, like hone, hone on her inner, um, a viva dresser. And she's like, the
Starting point is 01:15:00 show is not about Kim D. It's about the people who died. Something terrible happened in Pappetan, you sure see? So Teresa has just shattered this wine glass against the public wall in the restaurant. A lady's eye is bleeding. Sigi and Dolores are marching out of there like, oh, Kayla. And then everyone at the table suddenly calm again.
Starting point is 01:15:24 And Teresa's like, like ah my wine. Fuck off. What is wrong with you? I know and then trees is like you know I want to go to the fashion show to confront Kim D. I'm gonna give a piece of my mind and they'll all come with you and they're like well I see you're gonna come to me and she's like no no and then of course she's like yes which felt a little staged to me. Like it felt a little bit like, hate, like,
Starting point is 01:15:47 but I'm fine with it. I'm 100% fine with it. I am down for a big showdown at the posh fashion show. The whole thing was so hilarious because they're going crazy, right? And then they go next time. And Teresa screaming and yelling and like knocking over chairs,
Starting point is 01:16:01 like she's in full Teresa 8 mode, you know, just like knocking, knocking down the Empire State Building. And she's like, that's what you guys are thinking about with. Fuck you. And then that's the Teresa going, so more about that. So I got it. Got it. Got it. Rado TV that come. Like Jesus, like talk about bipolar. My God. This is what we want. This is what we've been wanting for several years. And it's finally back in New Jersey. In New Jersey is back in its prime. It is back at elite status. The show, the prodigal show has returned. And I'm
Starting point is 01:16:40 very, very happy. That's what we need right now. Yeah, well, we got what we needed, everybody. That was an hour and 15 minutes of real house of New Jersey, which is insanity. But God, that was fun. Everybody was fun. Go to watch your crappens.com for all of the live show tickets. And we have, and we, we are not doing a show tomorrow because we have a million shows next week.
Starting point is 01:17:05 And also we covered all the shows for this week and Bravo because Merich medicine wasn't on. So we'll be, but we'll be back next Friday again. The schedule will be returned. The crap is mailbag will be back next week. And, um, yeah, and go buy those tickets. But go buy that merch tomorrow. That's gonna be so excited. And we're coming to see all of you.
Starting point is 01:17:24 All of you. We love you guys. Have a great weekend. We will talk to you Monday. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. on Slash Survey.

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