Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: The Boys Who Tried Wolf
Episode Date: March 10, 2022*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* It's guys night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, and Bill is put on the hot seat by the newly named Wolf Pack. Will Lu...is show up after new rumors start swirling? Will Joe Gorga every apologize? Will Marge order aphids in her salad? Find out! This week's bonus is a Below Deck Sailing Yacht recap! Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. We're on tour! Coming to Philadelphia, Washington DC, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Columbus and Cleveland! Get our tour stop dates and your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com and find tour merch including new Crappens leggings and pins at crappensmerch.com  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Absolutely. Okay, so let us get into real house walls of New
Jersey, which is today's recap.
Mm hmm. Big one. Lots of fun. Great episode. Things are things
are rolling along. Um, previously, the thing where we left
off was that we're at the pink party, Melissa's pink party,
and Tracy just told Teresa, like basically, you know, you got to have your back, you got to
have your brothers back sometimes, you know, that's the just of what you're saying.
And Teresa, of course, all what Teresa hears is, you're a fucking terrible sister, everyone
hates you, and like no one in your family likes you.
So of course, she like, you course she starts crying and walks away.
Well, I have to say what I think Theresa just does not
like being called out, especially by somebody
that she doesn't know.
And also, she can't really argue with that.
You hit Theresa with logic and it's just a very
confusing thing to her.
So instead of arguing, she just walks out
and pretends she's crying, which of course,
she's not really crying.
But also, you know, Teresa is wrong in this situation, but Tracy shut up.
Who asked you?
Like who are you even?
Like if you came up to me and started telling me how I'm supposed to behave with my family,
fuck off lady.
Okay.
I mean, that, I mean, we do want that from a real housewives.
Want to be is that they just come in and they're not afraid to ask questions.
But there's just something about Tracy
where I feel like it's not earned yet.
I don't know why.
I think it's a lack of personality.
It's not earned and it's just a Melissa Kiss ass friend.
You know, like I get it if you come on
and you're like Teresa's friend
because Teresa is the queen of the show.
You know, I kind of get the Jen kissing ass
even though it's always been annoying.
But the fucking Melissa kissing ass, Melissa can't even stand on her own as a housewife
without Joe Gorgah there. I truly believe that. So for Melissa to have a hanger on with this
stupid loyalty fight, which I mean, it just makes me crazy. She can't even get her sisters to be like
like notable presences on the show.
Like, it's been years and her sisters show up like one episode.
She can't even get them sort of like roped into this madness.
So, you know, Tracy, it's just,
it's not like she picked the wrong horse,
she just picked a boring horse.
It's almost like you went to the track
and everyone put their money on all the different horses
and she put her money on like a chair. And you're like, Tracy, that's not the, it's just not
the one in the race that we're caring about. Yeah. So we open with Louis and Trey walking on the dock,
while Trey says pretending to cry. And of course she's dropped it already. She's dropped the tears.
And she's like, come, he's coming at me. And he's like, babe, you know, I know, but when they talk,
maybe you should like, maybe try to listen a little.
I don't know.
I mean, you're already talking to another woman,
so I would suggest just talking down to her.
But...
She's like, I am.
I always listen.
And it's like, they're always right.
I'm always wrong.
And like, I don't want to fight with family, okay?
I don't want to fight with family. It's like, no one was, I'm always wrong. And like, I don't wanna fight with family, okay?
I don't wanna fight with family.
It's like, no one was fighting.
No one was saying that you're fighting with family.
They're just like, hey, could you just like
show up a little bit more?
But that's all she hears is that
anytime someone confronts her, all she hears is you're not loyal
and you're fighting with your family
or like you're not part of this family
or something like that.
But like, that's not what this was about. Yeah, so then of course Marge over in the background is like okay, what happened?
What's going on? What happened? What's happened? What's she doing? What's are they fighting? Have they talked about the video?
Have they talked about TV's? What is going on and Tracy's like Teresa's crying? Why what happened?
What's it's its video?
Did you take a video of it with your family?
I need to know.
Teresa's like, well, I just, I know I feel bad because she walked out crying.
So, Trey, I think this is why we don't respect her.
Because I think that we just don't really respect the real housewives or wannabes
who like come hard at someone and they're like, oh, I feel bad.
It's like, we want them just to come hard and just like, and just stay hard, you know?
Yeah, I want to see you coming hard over your own.
I don't like saying that coming hard.
I mean, I don't want to see you coming hard, okay?
But I, if you're going to fight with somebody and you're going to make up some stupid fight,
at least make it your own, like you don't like the way Teresa looked at you, or you don't
like the way that Teresa is ignoring you, something, make it about some but you're not even evolved lady.
So Corga walks up to Teresa and Louis and he's like come on I don't want you to cry come on
I can't do nothing with that girls crying like what am I supposed to do with that girls crying huh?
He's like sometimes I just want a sister, okay?
You understand, like a crook?
To me, I mean, I work like a dog.
I, no, I'm sorry.
I do doggy style to Melissa.
I work every now and then.
But somebody said, you know, if somebody said that about me,
I could never be around them to Lisa.
Yeah, and if someone ever called you a crook,
I mean, I would never hang out with them. That's why I don't hang out with judges.
So she's like, she's like, well, I know you're, well, I know you're not. So you should just like walk with your head up high, you're clearly not a crook.
So just be like, you know, just be like,
oh, who cares?
Like I'm proud of my good, upstanding working skills,
which is just so funny that when it's,
what people are asking for Teresa to stand up for them,
her whole vibe is like, why should I have to stand up for you?
Like, you should stand up for yourself.
Be proud, because you know it's wrong,
because that's what she did last week.
When it goes the other way around,
she wants complete loyalty and she wants everyone to stand up.
She like, literally wants like every barista in Starbucks
to like stand up and start a brawl in her honor, you know?
I mean, it was a minute ago, you know what I mean?
Like her hypocrisy, it's not even,
she doesn't even give it a rest.
You know, it's like one minute since she was just screaming
at Joe for not having her back about the video.
She's like, why should I have you back?
Just hold your head up high.
So he's like, and Gorgah, of course, agrees.
He's like, that's coming from a woman who yelled at Margaret
just for asking questions about Louis.
Like, are you kidding me?
So he's like listen, I'm not gonna argue with you, but you gotta understand she's evil. She's evil, bro. All right and
Well, she didn't maliciously try to say that about you
Wait, so Jennifer when she called him a crook, and she posted it on her Instagram,
she didn't do it maliciously.
It was, it was just an informational campaign for everyone, which actually,
that's actually fair.
That actually actually fair.
Like he is a, he's a contractor and he's a crook.
That is, okay, maybe Teresa has a point.
So Melissa's like, well, you do what you, because Melissa's now there, of course.
And so she's like, well, you do what you want with your friend,
but I can't be around her.
And Teresa says, well, if you don't want me to talk to them anymore,
I won't.
I won't just say it, just say it.
And like, no, no, you're in the toilet.
You talk to who you want.
You know, I just want like family to back me up,
because that's what family do.
Yeah, I just want my family back me up. That's what family do. Yeah, I did so my family backed me up.
That's what brothers and sisters do.
The two, the few things that brothers and sisters do, they back each other up, they're
there when they need each other and sometimes they make out wonder kids.
You know what just happens.
They make out on prom night if there's nobody else on my right.
Any port in the storm, even a sort of gross plot if you think about it
Me boss and bad Hey, you know something
Me boss in the attic
So Teresa's like uh, she's like well, I don't want to do the thing that I never have your back
Which is funny because she literally never has his back in any situation for the past 10 years
So back to the party, everybody's taking pictures. And Teresa, you know, has to be holding
Louise hand in every single picture that they're in. And Tracy pulls her aside. And Teresa's
just linking that. They're like, who is this? Who is this? Hey, the Torsche Alamps trying
to talk to me. So Tracy's like, can we talk? I just, you know,ier lambs trying to talk to me. So Trace is like, can we talk?
I just, you know, I don't want to think with family.
She's like, well, I'm just saying that I think the best thing that you could have done
in that moment is like, say, like, don't say that about my brother.
You know what I'm saying?
So Margaret walks up and she's got full look.
Are you all right?
Are you what's going on?
Okay, I need to get some information.
What's going on?
What's going on?
Does anyone want an iced coffee?
I feel like this entire pink party.
How about making a little light tan party?
We have coffee everywhere.
Okay, there's no coffee.
That's what we've seen.
That was for you, Joan.
Little coffee from a view, Joan.
I mean, what's wrong with Teresa?
I'm telling Teresa that she should have been more of,
I'm right here.
Yeah, I'm just asking you, Tracer, because Teresa doesn't even know what's going on.
All right. Just diagnose it and tell me what's wrong with it.
All right, give me the log line.
All right, I'm here for it.
I'm here for it.
Teresa, don't put your coat on top of Tracy.
She's not a coat rack. She's a human being.
Okay. So Teresa's like, well, last night when she brought up the whole video thing,
like my family, like they didn't say nothing
Okay, and trade face is traces like well, no, they were bringing it out of concern, you know, yeah
I'm just like listen
She Lisa you open up Instagram and the 50F's everywhere. Okay. It's like everywhere. She's like I never saw it
Open up Instagram right now do it. Okay.'m gonna open it up. Huh, let's see. I see some rich crackers
I see a head of lettuce. No, that's Instacot. Okay, you're looking the wrong place to reset
It's like you're telling me you never saw this and she said nah
And then she tells us I swear it's on my cans. I never watched it
Because I don't even care about it. Okay, first of all you just lied on your kids
Yes
watched it and
Second of all if only things we cared about showed up on our Instagram feeds the damn app would be blank on my phone
Like I don't care about any of the shit I see on Instagram. You saw the video on Instagram
Do you know much content I get about the UFC on Instagram? I don't... I'm not
interested in the UFC. I support those who are interested in UFC, but I am not,
and I'm constantly being served like, hey, you might be interested in this guy who
just got his head beaten up by some other guy, like constantly like, welcome to
the act of God.
I don't need to see that.
Okay, so I guarantee that Teresa was served her own boyfriend in a viral video. Yeah, and when media and she never saw that.
Right.
Yeah, I think I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure I want
to geos friends or probably her boyfriend was like,
have you seen this about the guy your mom's dating?
I guarantee geos seen it.
And it's not like it's just on Instagram.
Teresa is, she's so narrow minded.
She's like, it's only on Marge set Instagram.
So I'm just, it was like in People magazine.
You know what I mean?
It's online.
You see it when you check out front the grocery store.
Okay.
Yeah. So, uh, Teresa's like, you know what?
If I don't want to talk about something new guys,
I would expect that.
Which, I'm like, I feel like,
I feel like there's hypocrisy and repast on that point,
but I can't recall it right now.
So I'm going to just drink more coffee and maybe that'll like kickstart my brain cells a
little bit because amazingly they're not like popping right now after watching real house
was a New Jersey.
Well, you know, it's amazing because with real house was a New Jersey, all you really
have to do is go back to history.
I mean, that's kind of like real life, right?
Just go look back in the history I mean, it's kind of like real life, right? Just go look
back in the history books to watch it, repeat, because if you're ever confused about when
Teresa is a fucking hypocrite about anything, she says, just get a prostitution more. I mean,
it works for every situation. That actually is. I mean, talk about a situation like Daniel
Stobb, are poor, sweet innocent Daniels. Never did it. Really did not. Anybody.
Listen, she didn't, but she didn't want to talk about that.
Okay, and Teresa definitely pushed.
How about when Danielle stop tried to, tried to not talk to Teresa at the Posh fashion
show because we both obviously recently watched this because we're in a recap and an
aspirate park.
And Teresa was the one who tried to force that conversation with little help from Kim
Ji.
The point is this hypocrisy.
Okay, I had too much coffee. I went over the line.
Okay, Joe, guess what?
I crossed the line and the coffee.
Okay, did too much, did too much.
So Marge is like, so, like, why are you mad at me?
Like, you think that I brought that shit up to her?
You were Louis because I'm like, he seemed upset, you know?
And I feel like you must have told him something.
Like, I'm a piece of shit or something.
And that's why it's so mad at me.
And she goes, well, yeah, because he was the one that said something and obviously he
knows what's going on what balance Jennifer because he knows what you said to Jan.
So if it's conceivable that Louis has found out something through the rumor mill about what Margaret
had said to Jan I think it's conceivable thanivable that Teresa that you have heard about or seen this video.
So Margaret's like, what I said to Jennifer, I mean the only reason I said that is because
it's like, yes, she was just being horrible to me, everything about me.
Okay, hey, oh, here comes Hattika if I'm not like city, horrible, horrible things.
Thank you, Hattika, that was great, I really liked your emphasis there.
Did you notice that Teresa is nervous talking to Marge?
Teresa looks really nervous because Marge is not going
to back down.
Marge is one of the first people in a long time.
Well, I guess Jackie didn't either,
but Teresa wasn't really ever afraid of Jackie.
But she seems to have something with Marge
where she kind of gets nervous and twitchy and backs down.
Because she's like, well, you know how to cut people too, right?
And like, you put something out there about somebody,
like, you don't know how they're gonna come back at you.
I think with Marge, she has, like,
it's not that she has more authority than someone like Jackie.
Because Jackie actually really does not back down.
I feel like she almost doesn't get enough credit
for how, like, she really stands her ground
in like many arguments.
But, um, but Margaret, she just sort of has like,
there's like a threat of danger with Margaret a little bit more than I think we've appreciated.
Cause she, she can throw things, she can get loud, she can get vicious,
she can like do all the things.
And she's like not afraid to do any of those things.
And on top of that, she's also a fan favorite.
So Teresa knows she's going up against a lot more with Margaret than she does with someone like Jackie.
Well, and also Jackie cries, right? And her fights like, oh, could you do this?
And Teresa, I think probably respects Marge on a level that she knows that Marge will see.
But it marge those lawyers, you know. But if you think about it, like, Jackie has very frequently
had like great zingers to reset it,
just like totally like shut to reset,
which is like, ha, ha, ha, ha, like so many times.
Did you like, yeah?
Yeah, exactly.
Or like last week about like, like,
but as you said, he put his dick in someone else,
he's like, she did, you know, like moments like that
all the time, she really doesn't get credit
for those moments the way other people do.
Well, after last season, I think Jackie really sticking up to her and doing the whole
G it does coke in the bathroom.
Teresa is not going there.
You know, Teresa is not going there.
Yeah.
So,
Teresa is a running on the analogy.
Yeah, she's really only gonna have
Tracy and the eventual turn on Jen. I'm sure probably have some Dolores issues because Dolores is all over the place this season
She really is well. She's
She's emotional so
So anyway, so now we go over to probably the moment you've been waiting for all season Ronnie
date and I'm an eagle
Olivia
The swimming eagle
Olivia just screaming I'm an eagle and then like belly flopping into the pool or Jack I think or whatever she didn't the pool so fun and that's so kids too, you know, and she's like, okay, so now what I'm gonna do I'm gonna do a headstand split, but then I'm gonna do like the splits, but then I'm gonna do it into like underwater like cartwheel, but then like a flip and then like a stand on the one hand and then the eagle mouse, and they're like, okay, we're watching. They've been there for hours watching Olivia's water show.
Hours and hours.
So Olivia's like, hey, where's Theresa and Looey?
And Jennifer's like, oh, what, baby, they have to go to Melissa's pink party.
And we're not going to go.
We're going to just have our own pink party because we're going to have family not, baby.
And Jennifer cannot even fake it at this point.
She's like, we're here for having our own pink party.
And so it feels like you're okay.
We're not going to pink party.
And she's like, nah, I don't want to go.
I just, I'm happy here watching the Eagles you split.
To whatever the heck of this Olivia just did in the pool.
Don Julio's coming to the shindy, Gainy, baby.
The eagle has landed.
I'm now going underwater.
Not the eagle has done a headstand.
Beba.
And she tells us that she has no interest in going to this party, but that doesn't mean
that she's not mad at Bill for not defending her.
And she's like,
I'm tired of hitting on a bad face for my cats and pretending everything's been okay with us
for clearly. It's not. Didn't you just have to fly to Taiwan or something for your nose surgery?
Like, where did she end up going for her nose surgery? She went to Turkey for her brave face.
Turkey. Sorry. I knew it was with a tea. That's a tea country. That was the first
Sorry, I knew it was with a tea. That's a tea country.
That was the first...
What did you check for a stand?
That was the first problem in the marriage.
When you're flying to Turkey for your nose job,
when your husband does them.
Yeah, in Paramis.
Yeah.
It's time for commercial.
It's time for a crap-ins commercial.
So, now we go back to the Pink Party party this season.
And just more photos, like a lot of selfies happening a lot of it's like selfies but also the photo booth thing but also a step in repeat but then also like more selfies and then we see to recent Louie and she just comes up to me she's like oh my god I'm really having with walls from you and like and she she said it must because she like mumbles something
that not even the close captions can pick up, but it's something sexual that she's trying
to be sexual with Louis and he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
He's like very alarmed.
He's so on edge.
I know all the rumors about Louis is that he's like stalkery and love bombing just too much
and always wants sex and this and that.
And I'm like, well, you met your match, you know,
like everyone's so worried about Teresa,
but I'm like, a lot of this describes Teresa's behavior,
you know, so you never know.
There's a lid for every, you know, pot.
Especially hypocritical pots.
Yeah.
Actually, I don't believe there's a lid for every pot.
I don't think that's a true thing, but I know it.
I know what you're trying to say.
Well, I know when with pots knows that that's not true.
It's a lie.
You can never find the right lid.
Or I guess maybe that speaks to my personal life.
I don't know.
No, I think it's a lie that's a lie that's been pushed on us by the lid lit industry because actually it's no there's not a lid for every pot. We know that and for every top where no lies.
But there are pots that you just keep around even though they're like kind of rested inside and you know they'll probably kill you at some point, but you know what they're the easiest. They're the easiest.
They have like a nice shape. They have like a certain capacity that's just like like there are the rim is just like the right height for when you're stirring and they have a certain capacity that's just like, like their rim is just like the right height
for when you're stirring and they have a nice capacity.
Yeah, it's like that pot that just sticks around.
Yeah, I sense that pot is this relationship, you know?
So they could just, they could just be the recipe pot
that doesn't need a lid.
The recipe pot that doesn't slash that much.
So it gets this day.
So then the other girls are talking on, the rusty pot that doesn't slash that much. Yeah. So it gets this day.
So then the other girls are talking on probably like two feet away from where all this is going
on.
And Jackie's like, so let's talk about last night because remember when Jen grabs your
wrist and she's like, yeah, I guess what Bill did.
What the fuck?
Yeah, they're making fun of Bill for now.
Well, at least he did try to fight with the woman, like your husband, ma'am.
I don't know that I'd be like cockwalking around here if I were you, but whatever.
I think the point is that neither of these guys are really a poster child of what we want out of
our men. So then we have Tiki.
Tiki, this is the episode where Tiki is like,
okay, I guess I should try to make an effort a little bit.
So he's like, he's talking to the guys.
I'd like your Tiki face.
You're already getting into Tiki face.
You're already like, okay, time to go into character.
I'm Tiki Barbara.
I'm turning Tiki Barbara.
Hi.
I mean, and he's like, he's like,
so what happened with Bill and Jennifer after we left?
And Frank's like,
quit off, we, nothing bad, nothing bad.
I mean, texted him all day long,
and I haven't heard back from him,
so he's probably pretty mad right now.
That's my baby, baby, baby, baby.
And the guy is so gossiping, and Gorgas is like,
you know what, I love Bill,
but like Jennifer, she crossed the line, right?
She called me a croc okay a quack speaking of just flipping open Instagram done it
lately because everyone's been calling you a crack okay ever there's a whole
website called fame orgas dedicated to you too so Frank which is probably
written by Teresa well or Kim G translated by somebody else
from Teresa's speak, you know. So Frank's like, you know, I just don't know what Bill Watt, I don't
know why he wants to get involved in the wind in his business. You know, he gets paid to do
that remalves, not redo that mouth, not what comes out of that mouth. You on them. Uh. And Joe Gorgas like, you know, I understand you don't want to get involved in your wife's
drama, but then she calls me a crook kicks me out of a house and you do not know about it.
That's fucked up man.
We're supposed to be friends.
We're supposed to have strange male sexual chemistry.
This is fucked up bro. Yeah, it goes, you know
what? Bill should have went, stop. You know, hey, Jen, what are you doing? That's what the
wolf pack does. Alright. That's what the wolf pack does. I didn't know that they became
the wolf pack. I didn't know we were moving into twilight territory over here. Yeah, I've really didn't be there. It's like what's not fresh? What's not fresh?
Well, like spoiled wolf. No, musty wolf. Spoiled.
This must be musty wolf.
Dank wolf.
expired wolf.
expired. Salmanal causing wolf. Expired. Salmanal causing wolf. So Frank's like yeah no matter what
happens between us and our wives none of us have ever allowed ourselves get
talked into doing railings when we're not ready to. Don't come in between us.
You know what I'm saying? Because you know know what come on guys You know what we got a car bill we got a car
They're all gonna get out little bicycles and ride down to the strip club like they'll put like
Baseball cards in their spokes like all right guys. That's going to adventure. Oh, we might up at the strip club. Okay
like, all right guys, let's go on an adventure. Oh, we went up at the strip club, okay.
The wall packs, Tim.
We'll back just all over the road.
And it was like honking their horns
like get these middle-aged guys off the road.
Yep.
So, Tiki's like, all right, you know what?
I think we need to do, I think we need to calm down
a little bit, you know?
Anybody have a shirt I could iron?
I'll take a picture.
I'll take a picture.
Why is Tiki always wearing two watches?
Did you notice that?
Maybe I want to win brother.
So one is in case he runs into his twin, that way they could be matchy matchy.
That's my theory.
Oh, I was believing you.
We does have a twin brother.
So you think if he what if he walks into his what? I can believing you. We does have a twin brother. So you think if he walks into his, what?
Second bathroom.
No, I mean, he does have a,
he does have a twin brother,
but my theory was fully a benetheria.
It was not actually verified by any sort of documentation
about Tiki and Rande barber.
Oh, but I like it.
He just has one on just in case he has,
he runs into his brother.
Yeah, he's like, wait, I'm me because I'm wearing two watches.
This way I can always know what time it is where Ronde is.
Tiki time and Ronde time.
So they decide they're going to call him and they're like, well, should we call Louis over to?
And Frank's like, yeah, yeah, come over Lula. Lula. Come over here. Lula
The law where we are you tomorrow. Where are you?
Ha, where are you tomorrow? Oh, no, where are you?
Lula, so
Louis comes over and Corga's like, hey, we're gonna go off the guys night. You win, you a guy and not. You take shots, you got nuts, you masturbating right now.
We was the last time you jerked off.
Tell me, tell me, let me feel, let me feel, let me feel.
Oh, and Louis is so, you know, I think,
and Louis is so nervous.
My read on Louis a little bit is that he wasn't a cool kid
in high school, but like after high school,
he kind of like learned to play the part
where he sort of became one of these people who like became his own person and stepped
out of the shadow of that, but he's still uncomfortable in these like cool guy moments.
And I'm not saying this to give him any sympathy because I don't trust this guy for shit.
Just saying like that's my read on him for anyone who cared about today's edition of Ben's
read on Louis.
That was it.
He's got it.
Yeah, my theory is that he's a piece of shit.
I don't really care why.
They both work together.
Yeah, I don't really care.
I don't care why.
So Louis hears Guy's night and he just rips off his shirt.
He's like, all right, who's going to tick-tock it?
Now like Louis, Louis, Louis, whoa, whoa, my man, right?
You can keep your shirt on.
All right, let's do a shot.
Let's do a shot. We'll back a shot. Well guys, we're back. We're back guys. We're back. So some molasses like, molasses looking
from afar. And she's like, oh my god, there's such a boy gang. And then Gorgas looking
and Gorgas, then we go back to Gorga. And he's like, hey, look at Frank. Okay, look,
you got more food. Sorry, I'm doing the Frank voice.
I'm overwhelmed, Ronnie.
Gorga's like, hey, there's so much wolf pack.
There's so much testosterone happening.
I'm just like, this is the guy.
It's hot.
He's the guy heavy episode.
And he's like, hey, look, look, look, look, there he is.
Look at Frank, guys, got more food on his shirt
than it's done, than it's done in his stomach. Look at look at look there you look a Frank guys got more food on a shirt than
In the stomach
And Frank's like yeah look at your husband he was standing up when he wiped his mouth on my shirt
And then Jackie goes yeah, we have some amazing husbands. They're just great. We'll pack all
Winning you're all winning over there. So now it's like, things, people doing mom things.
I just want to say one thing.
I thought it was very, it's so Melissa that when Jackie says
we've got some great husbands, it was so Melissa that she goes,
yeah, you know what, it's a shame that Jennifer took
bill away from that because he could have been having fun to,
this is her doing
Listen we come for Jennifer for almost everything but like let's not make this like Bill is the victim that he couldn't be with his wolf packs tonight
Come on now you charts toe with an axe
As I recall
So now they're all doing like though, you know, it's the beginning of an episode.
Things.
Jen is teaching Gabby how to scrub a toy that she's like, it's your
compute on it and you did it right.
Not just 17 to go, baby.
I know.
Seriously, learning how to scrub toilets in that household is not a good thing.
That means you can be doing it for like five hours every day with almost toilets.
Yes. If anything is going to get me going back to pooping in a hole in the backyard like
the pioneers, it's going to be having to clean 18 toilets. Okay. I'll be like, I would
rather just dig and cover it up. Yeah. Sarah Planned and Tall has seen a lot. She saw
a lot. So then, so then Evan, we go over to Jackie's house and Evan's
like giving shoes to sneakers to his kids
and he like sticks one into his face.
Like it's just like, haha, like Prank made
you smell your own sneaker and Jackie's like,
you're cruel.
And then, this is one of my favorite things.
Did you notice this Ronnie?
We then got a, we got some like the role of around Jersey
and we got this shot of like a park or something or actually
It was a street and there was like a pedestrian crossing sign. Did you see this Ronnie?
Uh-uh.
So you know a pedestrian crossing like the diamond sign with like a guy walking and there was like some like white graffiti on the leg of
The pedestrian and it made it look like the pedestrian was in a cast and I was like wow
You don't remember? I've already said this in a Jersey recap. Do you not remember?
Did you really? Did you forget of him passes? So they're just recycling the, I felt like,
yes, the jurors, even the pedestrian has a cast on from Jersey. That's probably why I like it. It's like the Frank pedestrian.
They can't answer the pedestrian because it hadn't paid its construction bills. Did you forget the signs from Paterson?
Well, I'm sorry. I've seen that and thank you for the compliment from four weeks ago.
I was totally listening, Ronnie. I was totally listening. Okay. But yeah, that pedestrian
sign is hilarious. It does. It's like an as a cast on. So pretty. Anyhow. That's funny.
That's so being married, isn't it? Yeah. Well, I mean, we only talk for like 12 hours
every week to each other.
So it is fun.
I know.
My mom's like, how was your morning?
I'm like, good.
I made toast with cheese on it, some scrambled eggs.
She's like, you did?
No, you did.
You know, it's just in my pictures, my texts.
I know.
I'm like, I walked Bueller today.
It was great.
It's like, oh, that was Ronnie.
Who did that?
So then we go over to Marge and Marge
Senior having lunch and Marge is like,
you know what, I don't know if they have mock tests.
Wait, do you have mock tests?
You know what, by the way, what's up with Teresa?
What's up with Teresa?
Have you seen anything?
Have you seen the video?
Do you have Instagram?
What you up and what happens?
Is there a projection that we can put out?
Well, we do a projector.
Okay, I think everyone here's going to enjoy it. Everyone, okay, everyone, we're going out while we do a projector? Okay, I think everyone is going to enjoy it.
Like everyone, okay, everyone we're going to watch a video.
Okay, everyone then you can have a mocktail.
All of the mocktails are on me.
Okay, okay, five video.
And this is the least thirsty waiter we've had on Bravo.
It's an older guy and he just goes passion fruit.
That will be fine.
I'm going to be like, yeah, passion fruit is going to be good.
You know what, I'm going to need a little more passion in your delivery next time you come back. I've never
heard passion fruit set in such a drow done voice. Okay.
Mars was really working on that the cilantro and her teeth this episode by a lot of that
you know, a lot of that that she's working on. Oh, by the way, really sad news.
I had to uproot all my cilantro in my garden box today
because it was filled with aphids.
That's the sort of damn having,
but it also feels like that's so real housewives of New Jersey.
Like, of course, I'm gonna be talking about
real housewives of New Jersey today
while I'm dealing with an aphid infestation.
Doesn't really have anything to do with the show.
So Margaret is like,
I have the, I have the stuff he is a fan salad.
Yeah.
Why do those a fans try to make me fight with my family?
So Margaret is wishes with March Senior
and March Senior has been working every day
in the pandemic,
cause like two weeks into which she landed a gig
for an essential business,
in case she works
at a wine distributor.
And you know, wine is essential for life
as far as much as you need, it's considered, okay?
That was for you, Jen, a little wine joke
for you up there in heaven.
I like this Sophia salad.
Alright, you know what?
And we're gonna have this feta chini
because it's got raksurin,
bit it in the mom's like,
and mushrooms.
And mushrooms, Scott mushrooms as well.
Okay, so bring those over.
It has mushrooms, so I those over. It has mushrooms.
So I have just Theresa like mushrooms. Have you heard of you heard anything about Theresa?
Does she like those? Okay, we'll find out. Come back to me. Circle back.
I'm sorry. I'm back to action fruit.
No, I'm very curious about the sound. You say that it has little trees in it. Oh, I'm
sorry, rock shrimp. Okay, got it. Okay, got it. So, so yeah, so they're talking about Margaret's asking her mom
that if she's like dating anyone or anything and her
and she's not and Margaret's like,
well, it's because you're bitchy.
Okay, how are you going to get you to get someone?
You're just overly opinionated, man.
She's like, well, there's nothing wrong
with being opinionated, Mark, agree. She's like, you scare people, nothing wrong with being a pit-unated, my regret.
She's like, you scare people, mom.
Alright, you scare people, you know, but you could be more like me.
Look at me, I'm just scaring nobody at any time.
Alright.
With very few opinions, okay, famously very few opinions and not scary at all, okay?
I don't make anyone nervous, especially not like the the start the show who is very scary, okay?
So she tells her you know people are talking about Teresa And I just told her people are talking about this video and now everybody's having a fit me. I mean
There was a hot-faw there was a hot-faw
Big hot-faw mom
And Marv senior is like well, know what, I've read a few things.
I've read a few things about Teresa.
And she goes, well, let me tell you something.
I taught her point in plank.
You know what, Teresa?
Everybody's talking.
And she had a fucking fidget beach.
She had the half off.
Did I just say that the half off?
I said the half off.
So then we go over to Asbury Park
to see what Teresa's up to while this is all happening.
Playables.
Which I think is funny because you know Teresa's like,
hey, you want to go to playables?
Yeah, play-a-yay.
Well, I also like if you say playables,
it also sort of sounds like you're saying playable,
which is also like Teresa.
Yeah, playables is the new housewives spin off
that they don't want to name housewives
the pliables of New Jersey. So she's first I wrote tree and friend go to pliables but it's Gia. I still get with Gia being grown up. It's weird. It's very weird. She's like getting more and
more grown up. I feel like yeah she's just like Jersey, juerzeous than she's ever been. She's got all the highlights.
She's got the lipstick and everything. So they, they sit down and they're
like talking about Gia and her boyfriend, Christian, who's gonna be coming
into town. They're gonna be doing a picnic soon. Because like, and then
they met at the Jersey Shore at a friend's house.
And Teresa is like, so what are you gonna do for your first year?
And she is like, um, I think we're gonna do a helicopter ride around New York City.
Ah!
You're gonna do a helicopter?
Oh, I did that on your dad for the last few years.
We were married.
It works.
It works. It works.
Yeah, by the way, when I said first year, I meant the first year that you wind up in jail
from this guy because that's sort of what happens in Jersey, huh? So what are you gonna do
with that first year in jail? So she is like, what are you on the moon doing for you with this year
in a series? And she's like, I don't know, yeah, but you know what? Like you like him like he's great, right? Right?
You like him?
Right?
Right?
Right?
You like him?
Right?
And Gia's like, you know what?
She's doing her, she has her finger thing and she's like, honestly, it's step by step,
you know, you're not really ready to be engaged, right?
You're not ready to be engaged, right?
Mom, she's just like ah blink blink blink blink blink
she's like been ready for like five months five months
she's like you've already talked about it with him having you mom she
yeah well yeah because you said you said that if no no was a like
anyone wants to be in games if we move them together so I was just listening to you
then we go back to Margaret she's like you know what on the surface everything seems great will just let me know. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like even more stuff damn. It's every single day. So whoever posted this video also posted this video. Okay, basically.
Okay, supposedly he hit his fiance in front of her daughter
and whoever posted this also posted a letter
where Louis is apologizing for doing something awful
to the fiance and the implication
is it this awful thing? Is it a hit-hup?
Slantro, Slantro, Slantro, my teeth are sucking in my cheeks.
Is there an aphid in my teeth? Slantro, Slantro. So then we go back to Teresa and she's like,
this is the thing. Okay, I really don't care what people think, which is why I'm like so
even, like so even killed when people talk about what they think about.
And sometimes, something came up with a girl's head and that and like, Mogwit brought up Louise Pest.
Yeah, but who cares mom? Who even cares though? It's just, I don't care. I don't care because all I can about is Louis my cans and his cans
You don't care
my legs
Hurt the next day after making fun of you popping out of your seat my
Ready to murder with somebody you care you care
When does it play a bull stop?
It's time for commercial.
It's time for a crap-ins commercial!
So then, Margaret's like, you know what?
I just want her to be happy, and I want the girls to be happy, and I also want to
expose this guy and read him for Phil's.
Okay, that's all I want.
So now we get to go to Dolores's 18-level home.
Oh, for aene with her parents.
So they come in and, you know,
they're probably pissed because the first thing they have to do
is walk up stairs to get to the kitchen.
Okay.
The poor mom who we find out later on
has a 90% blockage.
I have to go up these stairs.
Oh my goodness, Val must have been dying.
But I love Val.
She's like, oh my God.
Oh, he's so nice, isn't it?
Look at the home, I was beautiful, the Lord.
So, it's beautiful, the Lord, it's beautiful.
And then they're getting a little tour
and the dad's like, that's the elevator, huh?
There's an elevator.
Oh, you got a balcony, okay, let me see.
Let me see, it's nice, it's nice, it's nice.
I like it, yeah, it's nice.
What do you keep the cookies, huh?
It's such a nice balcony. If I have this balcony, his mouth. I like it. Yeah, she's nice. What do you keep the cookies, huh? It's such a nice balcony.
If I have this balcony, this is where I would save my
ralzeries every day.
So they go down to eat and they're congratulating her.
And she's like, you've always wanted to
rob place the law.
I said, now you've got it.
She's like, it's good, but you know what?
I'm just so up in the air, ma.
I mean, the pool can't even be delivered because of
COVID. I
I mean I nearly broke five ribs because I fell off the staircase in the other house
Frank still hasn't put in a railing. It's getting to be a real problem
And you know, but it's get in there. It's getting it. You know COVID
I have nothing to say I've nothing for you
I have nothing to say I have nothing for you. I was like whoa.
She's taught onto the dog.
And of course she ends up feeding the dog.
Like the subplot through this whole thing is the mom and the dog.
She's like okay come here, get a little pet.
Get a little young wolf.
That's all you're gonna get.
I don't want to hear another thing about it.
Hey, Ma, did you feed the dog?
Yeah.
That's my favorite thing that Valerie does.
She goes, yeah.
I'm like, what's the big deal?
Yeah, yeah.
So then Dolores is like, why is it that that house,
like the house that she lives in?
Why is it with that house?
You know what, I hate to talk about it.
And the dad, Larry, is like memories, memories.
You could be, it could be that you had like a bad taste
in your mouth in the, it deloists over,
over certain things got a bad taste, you know?
Sort of like that dog that your mother just fed three Oreos to.
I don't think the dog's like chocolate.
Yeah.
And she's like, well, that house is true.
There were times that Frank was unbearable.
All right. He's like, and that's when you broke up.
She's, no, no, right before that, Frank was an animal.
I mean, most men, when they want to leave,
they take it out on the family.
But there were things I just didn't tell,
to help my father about it.
I mean, my father was a cop.
He would have strangled Frank.
Yeah. She's like, you know, I couldn't do anything, right?
I couldn't clean right.
I couldn't cook right. Gabriella couldn't put a toys
Or she put a toys are way wrong. I couldn't walk down the stairs, but I couldn't install railings right okay
I couldn't install pebble tail to all right. I couldn't finish house construction right wait
I think I actually have no I'm just in the present tense now, aren't I?
I can't even shop up like a half a bread alligator
I can't even shop up like a half a bread alligator
correctly apparently a Franklose here.
Thankfully he's not. Mom, you enjoying your unevenly cut alligator that shuff full of pepperoni and mozzarella.
Laughter, did you love it?
You're not asking me for another bite.
So Dolores is saying,
So Dolores is saying Dolores says that her dad probably wanted to, oh yeah, I want to strangle Frank.
Yeah, basically Dolores wanted a strange Frank and I was like, what a strange Frank.
I mean, basically Dolores is like, but you know what?
Like he is the news.
He's coming back and they're like, what?
He's like, yeah, Frank.
I said this rules Frank.
And you know what he said to me?
He said, I'm grateful for you and your rules,
your rules go.
So that's the news.
All right, so how are you, everybody?
Val, we go, that's right.
So they've both the parents have recently gone to the doctor
and to get some testing done. And Val Dolores her and she's like so how you're going over there with the cookies for breakfast
What do you have the breakfast? She goes eggs
ma cookies
Cookies in the shape of eggs
With a chocolate eggs mom
And the dad's like yeah yeah, well guess what?
She's going to the talk to your mother.
Just, yeah, the wreck, you know, just the wreck of a one-year-go,
two or every three years to Laura's.
And you're good.
Did they run a blood test?
Yeah.
What they find.
Cookies, pulmonary cookies.
They did find, you know, they found found an ELFudge in my arteries.
You know, what do you do?
So then Dolores, like, well, speaking of doctors, I have to tell you, it's hard for
me to say it.
I feel bad.
Look how emotional I'm being.
But me and David, we broke up.
The dad goes, oh boy, oh boy.
Oh boy.
Why the Lord is?
It's like, you know what?
I just, I wasn't seeing him and I was making all the effort.
And so finally, I just stopped going to see him and guess what?
He never came looking for me.
Okay.
I go to vacations by myself.
I go to events by myself.
Guess who chopped up this
Alligator shaped Kelsa me
My mind I do I do everything by myself. I fall off my staircase by myself because Frank hasn't put in the railings But I do it by myself. Okay, David's not there to fall off with me. Okay. I'm living alone right now
Well, I feel very very bad. What are they happy? She said, I'm sorry, Dad, but you know what, David,
doesn't want to have any life outside of work.
And that's it.
And he goes, yeah, he's so dedicated.
He's been so good with the family.
He's like one of my own, the way he drives in with his motorcycle
and pocks it right in the living room
and then just sort of doesn't say anything for hours on ends.
God, I love that guy.
They don't come no better. I love what she said. They don't come no better.
Listen, I had a beautiful life with him when it was good, but it was so few
and far between light deliveries from my pool and COVID times, okay?
So she's like, well, you know what? Because Dolores goes, I mean, come on.
Am I wrong?
I was like, I'm getting nothing from this man.
I'm giving everything to this man
and getting nothing in return.
And the parents are like, oh, but he's a doctor.
I know.
Dolores is finally like, am I wrong here?
And she's like, no, I mean, five years,
you've got to want to write to something more.
I mean, I even see my dogs every three.
Yeah, I mean, I got a, I'm on a fast schedule.
And the dad's like, yeah, I mean, you just don't want to be a fixture.
Yeah, I mean, it's too bad it's come to this, you know.
Ma, you said that, you're saying it, you're sad for me?
No, it's just that, he sent me cookies every week.
Sad that I had to come to this. So then we go to Joe Gorga in a
tractor. Choo choo. So Melissa shows up and she's like, wow,
it's all happening. You're there. I know, it's like
deeply annoying. And here is this very lovely suburban house.
Honestly, I'm gonna say it, it was like a very cute little ranch house.
I thought it was nice.
I thought it was nice.
I was in the other hole.
Oh my god, burn it down.
No, I needed updating on the inside.
The inside needed a gutting.
But like, I don't think that house need to be torn down
to be turned into a mick mansion.
I thought it was cute.
I stand by that house and like to watch them just like destroy it.
I was like, they're like, we're gonna put in a big white house.
It's gonna be this giant fake chateau just like Jennifer's
and it's gonna be tacky.
It's gonna ruin the entire block.
Yes, and probably, yeah, it's a huge piece of land.
I was like, my, yeah.
Yeah, the land's gorgeous and they're gonna fill it all up
with marble columns. Yeah, so we's gorgeous. And they're gonna fill it all up with marble columns.
Yeah, so we're getting a look into their newer business
for the season, the house flipping thing that they're doing.
Yeah.
And well, I guess it's not new for him,
but she's trying to describe what house flipping is to us.
Like we've never heard of it before.
She's like, basically what we do is we go look for a house
but like in a great neighborhood, but we look for a house that like, you know,
is ready to be torn.
I'm like, we know what house we can.
Melissa.
God.
We understand.
She's so much.
She makes me so crazy.
Well, you probably were really excited when they were out on the back,
you are the back porch and then turns out she was standing right under a wasp nest.
They just start swirling around. I was like, raw, I just like zoomed in and saw your face
and all the wasp like, get her, get her! I know even the wasps, what, God, that's a horrible thing
to make my gay tongue try and say. Even the wasps were bored with her. I mean, there's a whole hive
right above the door which she's standing right under and she starts screaming. You mean, there's a whole hive right above the door, which she's standing right under, and she starts screaming. He's like, you know, doing the typical molissa thing, and the wasps don't
even bother her. They're like, you're boring. That tracks, I can't imagine many wasps really enjoy
molissa gorga. So, um, so the molissa is like, so then they run away, and then and then molasses like you're crazy that you're not gonna shut the screen door
You know what's gonna happen inside that house?
And they're like, hey, let me show you this right here. Let me show you and then there's like an entire shattered window
And she's like, yeah, I had to break in because you had the keys so I did this and he picks up a brick and just like
Throws it through the glass window and shatters it. Yeah, it's a sliding glass door, okay?
So half of it he broke and then the other half he breaks it again.
He's like, he's like, he's just, why would you do that, Joe?
He's like, it happened anyway, all right?
Like, how are you gonna take the door out?
If you don't break the glass, stupid.
You unscrew the fucking door from the outside and you donate it.
Yeah.
Sell it or do something. You don't know how to fucking take a sliding glass door from the outside. And you donate it, sell it or do something.
You don't know how to fucking take a sliding glass door off the...
That glass door was not formed in that frame.
Like it was installed so that means it could be uninstall.
It's literally an idiot, okay.
And this is their business.
This is gonna go as well as their fucking pasta and pizza place.
Yeah. And so the Melissa's like, hey, that seems kind of fun.
I want to throw a brick at glass.
So there's a door that has a glass window on it, but it has like some frame that she throws
the brick at the door and it just bounces off the frame.
Like poor Melissa Gorgher can't even break a glass window with a brick, which I feel
like is like an important part of being in Jersey is to be able to throw a brick through
someone's window.
So Joe is, they sit down and have a talk.
And Joe's like, this, this is gonna be your future.
And she's just looking at him like, hey, no.
He's like, no, not me, that's, that's, oh yeah, that's,
it's gonna be my future.
Yeah.
And she's like, she loves all the trees in the backyard.
And she's like, I love all these trees.
I mean, it's gonna be like we're in our own secret temple.
I like the idea.
And it's like sad, like, like, algae filled pool.
And it's broken glass.
And it's wasp nest is like her secret temple.
And then Gorgah is going through something in the diary room
where he's in his like, Gorgah, Mone. He's like, last year we went to a Watt patch, alright?
He's like, okay calm down.
Who gave Joe the out of roll?
I'm sorry, started this, you know.
He's like, well, it was a Watt patch, but she wanted to move,
but I didn't want to move, but you know what?
Then I realized, you gotta keep it fresh,
you gotta keep marriage exciting, alright? So I'm taking my to keep it fresh. You got to keep marriage exciting.
All right. So I'm taking my time. She's taking her time designing. It'll be like a new chapter in life.
You know what? You got to keep them young. You got to keep them on their toes.
It's like a new chapter in life. Like before I used to have stubble. But now I have got
stubble, but I grew out at the top of my stubble and shaved it so there's like a line over
more stubble here. Yeah. You at the top of my stubble and shaved it so there's like a line over more stubble here
Yeah, you gotta keep it fresh with the hair
So Melissa's like, what are you gonna do about this beehive gel? And he's like, well, it's got a hole
Am I right? Am I right? A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A That's, that's, that's a visual.
So then we go over to Jennifer's house
where Olivia's making eggs,
which I think is the reason why I made eggs this morning,
by the way, because there's,
by the way, Olivia made good eggs,
like good for you little girl.
She made a good plate of eggs.
So she made them and Gabriella's,
or Gabby is sitting at the table and Jen,
like they're gonna be doing a workout and she's like
You're ready for your workout Gabby and Olivia turns around from like the stove top where she's making the eggs and like this
Look up a trail in her eyes like wait
Work out
No, no, not you you get to go to the pool. Don't worry good cuz Eagles don't work out
because Eagles don't work out.
Yeah, so she has decided that they've decided it is a family that they're going to change your diets and exercise more. So they're going to have the kickboxing, kickboxing coach come over.
And so now Olivia goes outside to eat. So Jen has a private conversation with Olivia.
And she's telling her that her grandmother is going gonna be so upset because she no one in her family knows about the
building and so she's gonna have to talk about it with her and she's gonna be super super pissed at Margaret.
Yeah, Margaret, I mean yes, she should be pissed at Margaret. I get it. Margaret brought it into public. I think that that shitty. You know, I've always thought that that was shitty.
But I would hope that she would first
cut the balls off of your husband.
Yeah, but Jen says that the problem is that
that her mom's mentality is like,
well, you know, men will be men
and she's gonna go after the women,
which I'm really glad that Jennifer has broken that cycle.
That was sarcastic. So I'm from glad that Jennifer has broken that cycle. Mm-hmm. That was sarcastic. So
I'm from a very old school Lebanese family and that's kind of the same thing. It's like no
I mean it's part of the husband left. What did you do?
What did you do just tell me tell me what you did to make well?
Yeah, well, I mean exactly like when when a guy cheats on a woman, and the other woman is the one who's quote unquote, stole the man.
It's like, no, the guy chose to do this, right?
But like, we sort of all have that bias in us.
Hmm. Last deep.
I do. Yeah. I mean, I do that sometimes still, you know,
and then I have to remind myself, well, she wasn't the one married to the guy.
But then I'm not really good
with like completely taking away culpability.
You know, or like completely making someone innocent either,
you know, you both.
Yeah, but it's more like some,
a lot of times the guys roll and it gets totally erased.
And it really just becomes about the woman
and then there's usually like fights between the women
and the guy just sits there looking pretty.
Well, as you say later in this episode,
kind of when the guys,
we'll get to the Tiki moment later.
We'll get to the Tiki.
So right now, let's see.
So she's talking about how her mom is really vicious
and she's gonna want her to get revenge on March.
You know, thing Gabby's like, it was 10 years ago.
I mean, that was a long time, you know, and she's like well, yeah
But I had a long time to be okay with that, but I haven't had time for you guys to be okay with that
I think I'm
King Kong I know in the middle of the series conversation
Hi, my name's Nicole. I'm here to teach you about kickboxing. I come from the Kim D school of boxing.
Okay, everyone who wants to learn.
So, so Jennifer just like sends this woman Nicole down into the
basement.
And that's because this woman is so Jersey.
And she goes down to basement and then Jennifer turns back to
Gab and she's like, so anyway, about your father, we're going
to go back to the adult conversation after this lady just walked in.
Yeah, but she's basically just like, we'll work it out. Don't worry. We're going
strong kid. So then to Laura's comes and she's like, oh my god, I'm so excited for this.
Okay.
First of all, yeah, look at me. Look at my face. I'm so excited for this. You know, first of all, Nicole hilarious.
I mean, we are gonna laugh and laugh and laugh.
We need it.
I mean, look at me, look at my face.
I can barely contain the laughter on my face.
It's very difficult.
Can you see my excitement?
So they go downstairs and Nicole's already down there
with Gabby.
Don't use your arms. Use your body. Okay. One, two, three again. One, two, three again.
She's like, hold on. I need to have my phone by me.
Because of the phone. And basically they get through the class. It's typical like
wacky kickboxing class. And now it's time for a Dolores and Gen talk.
I just wanna say, by the way,
before the Dolores and Gen talk,
that they are doing this in the basement,
and I don't know if you noticed it,
too enormous-sized knuck crackers in the background.
So Bethany, Frankl, next time you are having an emergency,
we know who you should call.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I would encounter them with Abby,
because she's actually gonna get a thank you card.
That's for sure.
No, it's going to give you any credit for finding those not crackers.
That's right.
So, um, yeah.
So now, uh, now, yeah, now it's time for Dolores and Jen to have a conversation.
So Jen is, you know, obviously shook up and
to Loris is I don't know that Dolores is a what that I actually Dolores is the one
that I would call because I like this kind of advice, you know, where someone
kind of yells at you when you're sad. Like I'm into that I like the Dolores
touch, but I don't know that everybody really needs us because Dolores is just
like, all right, listen, I can't wait to hear your story, but my mom had a stress test on
her heart and she had to go for antioplasty. All right, let's talk about, let's go ahead,
go ahead, cry, do whatever you're gonna do, Jen.
Also, dog has the shits. Okay. So Jen is like, well, I didn't want to cry because
you said you broke up you and David. So I'm a couple of baby. And she's like,
no, you know, I texted him yesterday.
I said, it's been really rough.
I haven't spoken you into in two weeks.
And he says, there's nothing left to say.
I mean, look, I spoke to him every day for five years.
And the kids are talking to him, everyone's talking to him.
He went down to the Jersey Shore and hung out with Frank.
Everyone's talking except for me.
And then Jen, Jen, rocker time just goes, say we're just gonna hang out with everyone in your family except for you maybe his mad
like you think you think Jennifer you think you might be a little pissed off
maybe he didn't want you to break up with it and she's like Jennifer Jennifer I had to
Jennifer I know I mean listen I get it know, but did you leave your mom at the hospital just to avoid David?
And she's like, I did, but my family's there with hill text. Plus I want to see you. What's going on Jennifer? There's a lot, right?
Yeah, by the way, this is Dolores getting some cred after she was questioned as being a good friend to Jennifer.
She's like, I left my mom at the hospital to come listen to you at a kickboxing class, okay?
So so basically
Jennifer's like you know what this show I was hoping that me and Melissa could get to a better place
But she always gets a competition of baby and
Dolores is like well, you know what Jen you can't fight every battle and you can't
explain yourself, walk away from it.
And I just love Jen.
Jen is such a victim.
Like, oh, Melissa gets so confrontational.
I mean, Melissa did kind of start that, but it ended in a physical altercation with you
screaming from behind a bodyguard.
Yeah, with, with Jennifer grabbing Melissa's arm.
Right.
For a solid 20 minutes.
That's what she's like.
Oh, she's so confrontational.
So she's like, you know, I mean, like come on, Dolores, we both
think that all this is sometimes to lose a temper.
Had I gotten defense, but things to pile up.
I've got kids sitting cold.
I don't got a housekeeper
And that thanks to Mark when I got to severe karma, and I got to tell my kids
The Laura's goes so you never told your sister right you never told your parents
Do you ever tell those nutcrackers that are staring at me? I mean I'm gonna fucking knock their heads off right now that creeps me out Jennifer
So she says no, you know, she, she hasn't told anybody.
And Dolores just goes, Jennifer's crying.
She's like, I can't believe my kids are going to have to live through this.
Dolores, because I'll get you a napkin, Jennifer.
And Jennifer goes, you know, like I just, you know, none of you guys know what the
slight to go through this.
Okay, because you don't know until you've gone through it and Dolores like,
Jennifer, I know exactly what this feels like.
I was nine months pregnant with a child the same time when Frank Cheed on me.
I know exactly what you're going through. Okay.
She can't be yelled at her. This is a part where she's like, Jennifer, you know, I know.
I was like, damn Dolores. Yeah.
So she was, uh, Jen's like, you know, but then the girls can't got by me
I haven't had I have the audacity to say how much they love bill. Oh, we love bill
But it's it's bitch wife that we can't fucking stand and listen here bill was a fucking pussy
There I said it. He didn't say one word on that
Are you mad at Bill?
Are you mad?
Show me on the Nutcracker where Bill hurt you.
So then Jennifer's like, yeah I'm fucking mad at Bill, baby.
I would have liked something for 10 years.
I've been putting this mad on a pedestal that I bought from China.
I got a hand picked out.
And if I saw him, guess I've asked some people gay and up on him,
I'd be like, without due respect,
if you disrespect my wife you disrespect me baby
you know I think Jin has a very solid point I think Bill is completely wrong in
this you know I mean what the fuck at least I get it if you're gonna say like
I don't want to get in the ladies fighting you know okay I get that but Joe
you couldn't even say anything to Joe,
who's like starting shit with your wife
and yelling at her across the yard,
like that's not.
Yeah, you could've said like something like,
hey, let's, let's, you know, let's like simmer down here,
okay, because this is still my wife, like we're cool,
but that's my wife, so let's just like,
chill out, let's let the women handle it.
If you're gonna have that kind of vibe, right?
But Bill Littily, he's get out of line out of the side and he had his little plate and he was just
eating, he was eating snacks. It was not a great moment for him.
Nope. So, um, Jen's like, well, I'm at the part where I'm down. You know, I just, I
dealt with this only way I knew how and if I decided to forgive him, she goes, you
never, you have to move on and never talk about it again.
Even though I've just had 10 monologues in the same episode
about what a piece of shit Frank was.
Okay.
And yeah, because she's like, you know,
you know, maybe these things that happen
with the girls hurt you a little bit more
because you already have hurt there.
Okay, hurt people, hurt.
Pizza barrels.
No, but maybe.
Yeah, she's like, well, I don't know how to deal with that.
And I already decided to move on.
Is it okay for me not to be okay now?
Dolores is like, can't say, but your husband
is a reasonable man.
How is he doing?
I love Bill.
I love Bill.
You know? But then Dolores finally gets a call
from her brother and it turns out that their mom Valerie has a 90% blockage and is going to have to
get a triple bypass. Dolores has to go off to the hospital. It's very scary stuff. So she heads off.
Yeah, I love Val. I hope she's okay. But also I want to point out this has nothing to do with the vowsing, but this is so Dolores, you know, I mean
I still believe a hundred percent with really no evidence except that Dolores said that she worked for a bill in her first season
and Bill later said how great she was to work with that of course Dolores knew this gossip and told Margaret and that's where they got it
I still believe it and because Mark Dolores just has such a weird energy with Jen.
She's just looking at her like, mm-hmm.
And I just hope it comes out that this was all Dolores in the end.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, because guess what?
The word is all out in 10 of fly.
Okay, if you go anywhere in 10 of fly, people are talking about it.
So I don't know if it's Dolores.
It was just anyone in 10 of fly.
So now it's time. It's to be Bronight. Both pack, both
pack is going to unite at a restaurant. So everyone's getting ready. So we just hear
Mark go, Jow, Jow, what are you doing? Okay, get it ready. If you're boy, it's not. Okay,
I already pulled a shirt for you. And guess what the shirt was that Mark repolled. The
old classic C, C foam polo shirt Ralph Lauren polo shirt. Yeah, she throws
it on though. She lays it on the bed and he's like, I'm wearing that. Yeah, you know, it's someone
I hate the color and we don't have to match tonight. So congratulations. All right, you get to wear it
again. And the dog just curls up on it right on the bed. And then Tiki is like trying to
side between the different shoes. He's like, I don't know
which one to wear, the cool hip ones or like the other ones. And she's like, we have the
cool hip ones. I like that when you look younger than the age Tiki. You don't have to
iron your sneakers. Tiki, come on.
So then Treen, Louie, you're in the closet. And she's like, and he's like, hey,
I like it.
Like, yeah, you know, usually I don't drink tequila or whatever.
And I know he's going to make me drink some tequila.
I'm like, don't drink it.
I mean, just pretend to display the lot.
It's like Louise first day of school.
Oh, gee, I hope I don't get beat up in my locker. So, um, and then a lot of
bad thing to be worried about. Yeah, especially this group. So we go to Melissa's house and so they're
getting ready and Gorga's like, hey, so Joe B started like a group text and everything about
tonight and saying like, hey, Bill, hope you're calm. That has to go on, Bill. And so I just wrote,
and say like, hey, Bill, hope you're calm. That has to go on, Bill.
And so I just wrote, fuck you, Bill.
She's like, what do you mean, fuck you, Bill?
Why would you do that?
Why would you do that?
She's like, were you being serious or funny?
And he's a little bit bold.
And this is another scene where Melissa's trying
to come up with a nickname.
That's where I think fresh wolf or fresh wolf,
it's not, it's not ever gonna come out right.
Okay, the wolf pack.
I think it came out of this because in the party scene,
Melissa's like, look at you guys are hanging out over there,
but boy gang, you get a gang boy,
you get a boy gangers, you get a boy boys, gang boys.
And now in this scene, she's like,
keep going out with the boys, the gang of boys,
the boy gangers. It's finally like, it's like keep going out with the boys the gang of boys the boy gangers Little boy gang
It's wolf pack, all right
You're going out with tidy whitey little boy gang tonight, huh little do we little do we be little boy gang tonight?
So back with tree and Louie a Louie is like yeah the guys were guys were texting Bill and then Joe said, fuck you, Bill.
And she says, ah, ah, ah, and their bell respond after that.
And he's like, no, like, and she's like,
well, why don't we do that?
I mean, especially after what happened at Bill's house,
like, I gotta stay on with that
because I don't want my brother or Melissa to think
I'm taking Jen's side.
So I'm not gonna say anything, okay?
So then Jen and Bill are sitting on one of those little couch things you have in front of the
in front of the bed. I don't know why I just thought it was, but I've just never seen anybody
sit there and have her conversation. Bill's like, hmm, he's like leaning back on the
back on the and she's like well you know what bell someone saying fuck you bell that's inappropriate highly inappropriate bell you know and he's like well
obviously Joe Gorka is bringing girls drama to boys night and she's like well
if he's gonna start with you tonight you don't have to put up with anything He's like, no, the last thing I want to do is put up or shut up
So then Jackie is
She's talking she's riling up Evan and she's like, so how do you feel about seeing built tonight?
That's a Jennifer sat there no remorse for digging and digging up rumors about you. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about that?
He's like
Well, you know what she did was terrible, but I I don't know build responsible for gen's actions room is about you. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about that? He's like, uh,
well, you know, what she did was terrible, but I, uh, I don't know, build responsible for
gen's actions. And she's like, yeah, well, help me. At least Smith is wife did something
terrible. That's what I hope is going to happen. So then we go to,
which I think is funny because that's a Windows. It's like a big heavy window.
We saw a broken last year.
I'd say like a brick.
Yeah.
Like a brick's flying through the restaurant.
And this scene is kind of a brick through a window,
kind of a moment, you know?
Joe's throwing it and Bill's window is about to get broken.
Okay.
So Benino comes in first and he's like, hi, the
reservations under Frank and the hostess is like, could you be
more specific? The Italian one, Frank, she's like, could you be
more specific than that? He works out too much, it looks like he
gets too much sun. I'm gonna need you to be more specific.
It might be under Joe, it might be under Joe. Does that help?
No, Joe B.
Joe B.
Joe G.
G.
Hmm.
Hmm.
How about Kim? How about Kim? I got a there's a G and a D. Is there any other?
So Frank arrives and he's like, I need to drink it. It's been a long day. All right, green apple martini.
Yeah, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna go up and sit right next to you.
Joe, where are you?
Where are you?
I'm right here.
Oh, God, yeah, Joe, I'm gonna come sit next to you.
It's okay.
So they're sitting there and then Joe Gorgawak,
they're talking about like what's it gonna be like tonight
and then Joe Gorgawak's in.
So Frank does a speaker devil.
So then Joe B is like, well, I guess it's my turn to do this.
There he is.
He does like a little Joe B there he is.
And Gorgaw does the ritual, the new ritual
that I think you picked up on Ronnie,
that when someone says there he is to you,
you respond by saying,
my man, my man.
So of course he's making it.
Frank's like, oh, what are you gonna make fun of my drink?
I mean, I see you looking at it.
Just go ahead, make fun of it.
Do whatever you gotta do.
All right.
He's like, I mean, come on, man.
That drink's embarrassing.
Green apple, Montenegro, come on.
And he's like, it would be embarrassing
if a 22 inch arm wouldn't hold him in, okay?
Okay.
And another 22 inch arm wasn't jerking itself off off. Am I right guys? Am I right?
So then um, uh, then Tiki comes in. He comes in ambling, you know,
ambling in and everything. And they're like making small talk about like, you know, when he played and everything.
They're like, Hey, Tiki, how old do you Tiki goes? I'm 46 and Gorka goes, I'm 46.
Yeah, just like two- So much in happening.
Yeah, Joe really wants to be his best friend so bad.
Who cares?
Okay, so Gorgah tells the waitress,
he's like, bring this guy a thought,
God, I can't, I can't, look,
I can't just look in at that drink.
I mean, that drink's embarrassing, all right? And Tiki's like, I mean, come on man, I can't with look, I can't just looking at that drink. I mean, that drink's embarrassing, all right?
And Tiki's like, I mean, come on man,
you can crush apples with your biceps
and you're having an apple martini.
Yeah, well, I guess what?
Hey, hey, Diana, Diana, hey wait for Diana.
If I said you, would you come home with me tonight?
What would you say?
She's like, I would say I'd have a conversation.
Yeah, I'm there.
Okay, Diana.
Let me say, ask you this.
If I said you can come on with me tonight,
but there's no realings, would you still come on with me,
huh?
Huh?
I'd still have the conversation.
It might be with the broken Mac after.
Might be with my insurance agent first, but yeah.
Yeah. it might be with the broken Mac after. Might be with my insurance agent first, but yeah. So Evan comes and he orders a Tito's club soda and Garga goes,
that's a mean. That's a mean, right?
Evan also gets a much bigger there he is because he shows up.
He does the thing where he sneaks up from behind and then he does like a sort of like a
shoulder hug between two of the guys like with like Tiki and Joe like a surprise. I'm here. So like they sort of like instincts me like like a sort of like a a shoulder hug between two of the guys like I'm with like Tiki and Joe like a surprise
I'm here. So like they sort of like instincts be like like a there
He is there he is so they're all like really excited right now like the energy is really good
The five is really good. Tiki's real Tiki is obviously been instructed as well tonight because he is ready to go
Okay, yeah, Tiki. It's like a Tiki
We've heard nothing from you.
And now all of a sudden, just like Tracy in the last episode,
you're gonna just start to stir in, right?
So he's like, so you guys see that new allegation.
And Ben's, Benino, I always write Ben,
so I don't get it.
No, I was probably there.
I was like, oh, tell me more Tiki.
Benino's like, yeah, Louis supposedly
smacked around his girlfriend in front of his
kids.
Shrug.
And Quark is like, huh?
Who's saying this?
Who's saying this, huh?
Who is he?
Where is he?
Why me at him?
No, don't want me.
Maybe like a guy named Warden, you know, push me at him.
Push me at him.
And Frank goes, a non, a non, okay?
And Quark is like, hey, you know I like him like him but and they're all like that's a big allegation
You know what I'm saying? It's a pretty big allegation like the stain on Frank's shirt. Ah everyone
And Gorgas has a very good point here. He's like, you know what?
There's just so many allegations out there and at what point
You know like what if all these rumors are true and I give them the benefit of the doubt, then what happens then?
And he's right, he's caught between a rock and a tree place, right?
Because if he says something now,
he's being disloyal by not sticking up for tree's boyfriend.
But then if tree's boyfriend turns out to be a fucking monster,
he didn't stand up for tree by warning her not to be with that guy.
So, right.
Yeah, but he can, you know, I think it's up,
I think he should ask Louis, like,
what's the deal with these rumors?
I think that like he's obligated to do that.
So.
Well, except that he knows that Louis is just gonna lie
because a hundred percent of the experience
with Louis has been Louis just blatantly lying.
So.
That's true too.
So, yeah, and they all say that.
They say that Teresa's like a lot of land and everything.
And, you know, they're like, have you talked like, are you going to talk, what you're going
to talk to him or something like that? And, and they're basically like kind of like
egging him on to confront Louis about it tonight at the dinner.
Right. Well, Tiki is like, did you talk to your sister about this stuff? And he goes,
how am I going to talk to my sister? And he's like, you're not children.
You go to her and you talk to her about it.
I was like, well, that logic's not going to work with this family, sir.
Okay. You tried wearing two watches.
Try wearing two watches and see if that helps.
He's like double the activity rings.
And he'll any relationship.
So, um, so, so, Gorgas, then they start talking about Bill and Tiki's like, hey, why were you so
harsh, bro?
And Gorgas is like, well, you know, I want an apology from Bill, you know, I feel like
I deserve an apology.
And it's like Crossco would like Bill arriving at the ballot like, hey, boys, guess who's
coming into town?
Mmm, Dr. Bill.
Mmm.
Yeah, and goes, yeah, you know what?
Like he should have come up to me
because if I'd have been thrown out,
like if you were thrown out,
but then if you got thrown out,
but then what would I, you know what?
He just should have, he should have just like,
why don't you, I mean, he can't even get it out.
Listen, you were wrong, okay?
He should have punched you in your fucking stupid blank face
and thrown your tiny ass into the ocean, okay?
That's what he should have done.
I don't know where you think you're standing
in this argument, but I can't wait.
But Bill is very, we know Bill is very nervous
because he messes up like the classic mating call
of the wolf pack because he goes, there you go,
there you go, There you go.
I'm like, oh, Bill, you did it wrong.
This is not going to work out well.
So then Tiki is like, oh, oh, yeah, Gorgas says, yeah, and I said, fuck you.
Do you like that?
And Tiki goes, oh my God, you were being serious when you said, fuck you in that
tax. What the hell?
And Evan's like, I agreed with that.
I agreed with that, bro. and Tiki goes, yeah,
when men go through what he's going through,
other men need to have his back.
Spoken like a man who cheated on his wife
the whole time she was pregnant.
That's exactly, wow, we got a real track record here
on this show, huh?
Yeah.
So Bill is like,
hmm, fellas, am I the last one again?
I hate to be the last one in.
Am I invited to this?
I don't know.
Mmm.
And he's like trying to be all broy,
but kind of like missing the mark,
because the waitress is like,
do you want something to drink?
He goes,
oh, it's water, baby.
Mmm.
I don't love that.
And they keep saying, like, are you good?
And he goes, oh, I don't know.
You tell me, man, am I good.
You want to sit down? I don't know. You tell me, man, am I good?
You want to sit down?
I don't know.
De-Righ.
I might be good, but I'm feeling a little naughty, guys.
Let's get this wolf pack meeting on.
Mm.
So, Tiki's like, I've got a question.
Did you think Joe was joking when he said fuck you on text?
And Bill's like, well, was he joking?
I'm not sure. How about that? I thought we were cool,
but at a night like that, a lot changes.
You know, you start questioning everything.
Man.
Jennifer and Melissa had little thing going on
and it's been going on for a little while, I'm alright,
but I don't throw fire on the gasoline. Listen, I don't get involved in women's drama. She gets dramatic.
I dive into bush. I'm not that into fire on gasoline. I'm more into hot melted wax.
You know what I'm saying? Man. So, Gorgas. I'm hot. I'm hot. I'm joking off right now.
I'm joking off. Oh yeah, wolf pack.. Yeah. So Gorka's like the wife is out of control
She does a lot of things, bro. I mean Jen's Jen got dirty and disgusting
I think she crossed the line and feels like well, you don't think March crossed the line
I mean digging for my secret. I mean Jen never went digging to him for anyone quote on quote dirt. No one's
dirt. So the heavens like, yeah, she did. She dug on me. And he's like, well, people
can be nosy, but I'm not a nosy person. He's like, well, I disagree. And he goes, no,
no, she did. She did. And then we see a clip of Frank, she called me like, I got pictures.
Like, I don't even believe them and did it like a big roll.
So then we cut back and Bill's like, well listen, people can be nosy.
And Evan says, yeah, but this isn't just being nosy.
She's like trying to dig up dirt to her individual people.
That's not a good person.
I mean, what the fuck is that?
Now you're gonna, you're gonna say to somebody that their wife isn't a good person?
What the fuck is happening with the men on this?
Well, I was gonna say Evan was, I was not expecting that Evan was gonna be the one drop in the hammer in this fight.
Like, he was the one, like, just like, go fuck yourself, right?
Cause Bill's like, hmm, well, if you think that way, then I don't think we can see eye to eye,
but maybe we can see other body parts, other body parts, if you know what I'm saying?
Maybe we can see one-eyed monster, or one-eyed monster.
Swordfight?
Swordfight, maybe one.
Man.
And Evan's like, well, if you can explain to me how that's a good person, go ahead.
And wow, you can't do that.
Yeah. Bill's like, I'm done. Yeah. and go ahead and wow you can't do that.
Yeah, Bill's like, I'm done.
Yeah, Bill's like, I'm done, I'm done.
So he, Bill walks away and I'm like, yeah, okay, see ya,
go buy, buy, get lost, get lost, buy.
And then Gorka goes, Bill, why would you leave?
Why would you leave?
So why?
Because you guys are all coming for him.
All at once.
And this is his wife.
I was surprised by that.
I know.
We'll back.
We'll back.
All right, everybody.
Well, thank you so much for being with us today,
especially here on Crappens on Taman.
Don't forget to go get your live tickets for next week's
shows.
You can start traveling again.
Okay.
We are going to Shireed these cities again just real quick.
Just to hear them.
Philadelphia, we are gonna be doing Jersey,
Washington, D.C., we're doing OC,
and in Pittsburgh, we're doing a classic episode
of either OC or Jersey Govote on Instagram,
and we will decide in the next couple of days.
And then we'll see you soon Denver, San Fran, Detroit, Columbus, Cleveland, Austin, Houston,
and Dallas. Love you guys. We'll talk to you next time. Bye everyone.
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