Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: The Gift That Keeps On Giving!

Episode Date: March 7, 2019

Danielle Staub makes her triumphant return to the reunion stage as we wrap up the hilarious and wonderful season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. There's fighting, yelling, and the most unexpected cameo from one of RHONJ's most famous friends-of. Come see us on tour! Check out the schedule and buy tix at watchwhatcrappens.com Get our merch! watchwhatcrappens.com/merch See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors!

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Mina Kuchiku-chiku-chi! Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what Happens when there's so much that crap is What crap is What crap is What crap is What crap is Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we I can't spot, I can't spread this so much that it happens.

Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from the Real Houseware as a kitchen island, and joining me is my favorite. It's the one and only. Ronnie Caram from Roseprix, the Bachelor of Rose podcast.

How are you? Well, how sweet. Yeah. I'm doing great. Yeah. I'm doing great. I'm doing great. Although, you know, I really don't appreciate everybody treating me like this. I've done so much for them. Damn y'all. Before you get too upset at me, I want you to know, I got you a little something. It's a purple plastic necklace from Clairs. And it says, it says BM and then there was no room for another initial. So, hey, I just want you to know I got you something even better and it's from my brother's jewelry store. Oh, oh

Thank you. Yeah, it's a wife. It's a wife. So I know this is sort of a surprise and a little like little out of the ordinary I actually got you a second gift too. No way no way. What did you get me? I got you a miniature car That has instacart branding on it for your future baby to drive around deliver little baby groceries with That is so sweet. Do these women not know what it's like living in the Manhattan apartment? Why is a baby a car in Manhattan? You know here's the thing we say a lot of stuff about Andy some of a good some of a bad We like to give him the business

But one thing I will not take away from him is that he's got an amazing apartment and it's like brilliantly decorated and I do not know how that little Mercedes car with the Adidas pantsuit is going to fit in there. I hope he has a good storage unit because that shit is not coming in the house. No, it is not. He's giving it to Anderson. Joe Judice is going to be trying to run from ice in that little thing. not coming in the house. No, it is not. He's giving it to Anderson. Joe Ju Dice is going to be trying to run from ice in that little

thing. Yeah, who is? He's just squeezing something to it. That is a low speed, a low speed chase. The cops will be like running after him walking sort of the Italian Barney Rival just like trying to escape from ice. Does his feet do his thing? He won't get pretty could get close to the border, but then he'll be caught when he stops for the giant dinosaur ribs and then the car falls Good times everybody good times welcome to watch our crap in the real off sides of nature Z Final episode forever because it was cancelled. Yeah, it's cancelled for now in our lives.

Yeah, it's done. Great run. Congratulations, standing ovation. But of course, before we get into the reunion, less we do this without reminding you that DC we're coming for you on Friday. Real house is in New York premiere. We're going to be talking about that

We're so excited and by the way for listening to this being like where is that new year a new York recap Just wait for it'll be up in about two days then next week South by Southwest The drill is that bad shoulders get in first and then people with reservations We don't anticipate a lot of bad shoulders because we have slow self-esteem But we think they'll be room for a lot of people pretty much everyone that we assume We'll just say that we're playing in an amphitheater and there's just a huge amount of interest No, it's we actually have a nice size theater So it'll be super fun and there's gonna be a whole slate of cool stuff that whole day in that theater

So it'll be awesome and then we are going to end that amazing week. Two shows in Cincinnati. The second show is sold out. We have an early show. We've never really done an early show like this. We're sort of experimenting with the time. We think it could be really fun. So there are still tickets available for that. So come let's have a good time. Let's talk Bravo. Let's make friends and like have a great time. And then of course after that, we have like a million shows in like Portland and Phoenix and places like that come see us, come see us, come see us. We'll give you gifts from Tiffany's. Do it everybody, go get your Lewand shirts too.

They'll be up another couple weeks because of Real Housewives in New York. So Lewand shirts and leggings up, go to crappenswatchercrappens.com or crappensmoresh.com for that. And now let's get on to the real housewives of New Jersey who have all betrayed me Try to make me look like After all kin and I have done for them

Wow, what did John Sessas say to these ladies man? I'm just making Lisa Vanderpump open every single podcast I do this week. That's good. That's good. You should by being victimized single podcast I do this week. That's good. You should by being victimized. I'm sorry, Lindsey, that I made you get into the rosé. That's a little sudden. Oh, made a straight line to the rosé. Oh, how you heard me. So this, this reunion picks up with the last one left off, which is talk about Juicy Joe. Oh, the sadness. What will happen? Well, Teresa leave him. So, you know, last week Teresa was like, yeah, I think I'll have to go back. I'm just seeing America while he goes to Italy. But then Andy's like, so what you're seeing is

you're going to split up at which point Teresa just sort of like stairs for a second second trying to understand. She's worried that she's going to be physically torn into. But we're like, it's her. Yeah, she looks terrified. I'm splitting it. She's like, unless my kids say, my, I want to move to Italy, but once going to college, every other tournament point blank today, she doesn't want to go.

Because you know, she don't speak the language. I'm like, you speak barely speaking English and you're doing just fine that's not excuse but it's okay because we can leave we can leave Gabriella in New Jersey she's not really out there anyway anyway you never would sign any papers that we asked to tease the Whitown Whither yeah by the way that was so nice of Teresa to put this decision on her kids that was so nice of her wow synchronize to blame Gabriella I'm sure Gabriela is going to really feel great about that. You know she doesn't talk a lot but she does make a lot of

decisions for the family and everything that went wrong with us is basically Gabriela's fault. Anyway. So Andy's like well that is the most definitive you've ever been on the topic. I'm not sure if he's my list of definitive. Fuck off. It's like, no, it's not a bad thing, Teresa. I told Joe, I'm not going to do a long definitive relationship, OK? So he's like, so when you have the conversation telling Joe, you weren't going to stay with him.

And he told you, he wasn't going to stay with you. Were you in tears? Were you yelling? She's like, nah, we were just talking. Yeah, you know, I'd have found. I was telling him about this old we run of perfect strangers I saw as and I was like, that's pretty funny. Maybe Joe, when you're in Italy, you should make a day trip to, uh, to meet post, but I don't know. We'll see. I was like, don't becky at me. I tried to dance and joy alone one time and I spray my ankle. Turns out you can't jump into your own arms

So it's like so Teresa's officially leaving Joe and he was the only love of her life and she's never cheated So Melissa is this news to you and she's like, oh no she didn't tell me but I mean I assumed like what she gonna do And then he's like how does Joe Gorgia feel about this? What everybody really needs to know so Joe is like, I don't know I'm super loyal and you know when I don't know, I'm super loyal. And you know, when I say, you know, I do, I do, unless you deceive me in some way, and then I cut you off. Right? You got that? You got that who? What I'm trying to say is, imagine there's someone you always love to jerk off onto. And then one day that person's like, I don't want to be jerked off on anymore. What are you going to do then? You know, you cut him out.

like I don't want to be drugged off on anymore. What are you going to do then? You know you cut him out. And Andy's like, um, but some could say that he did to see her and he's, that's what I'm saying. Andy, what do I got to black and white it? All right, he lied. He cheated his family. He shouldn't have gone through what she went through.

Okay, I wanted to be happy. All I want, whatever makes her happy, that's what I want for her silence silence silence silence. I wonder to be happy too. She's like, all right, all right, all right. Let the record show I want her to be happy too. Thank you very much. Yeah, I said it. It's on tape. And he's like, so what's Dolores' reaction to all of this? Who cares? Dolores is like first time on here in it. And he's like, what is it with your

history of being best friends for 20 years, but not talking about personal things. And she goes, look, it's not to this personal. It's like, it makes you upset, Andy. Okay? You know, it's like, it's like you expect your bathroom to look one way to sell a home. And you tell all your friends, I can't wait to show you this bathroom with Pabletile. And you get in there and some like green home deep up tile Andy. Like, what are you gonna say? What do I need to call people about it? No, I'm eviscerated in my own home. Andy, I mean, what would you do if I called you up?

I said, hey Andy, big news. Frank putting the fucking Pabletile. Would you want to hear that? No. So we just don't talk about things unless she wants to talk about them and then we still don't talk about them. Okay. He goes, Jesus communicate very differently. And Marge is like, yeah, I just beat you instead. I guess I'd say classic, classic Jewish, but all right. That was classic Jewish.

Trees has already so confused. She's the first time she's actually heard of Judaism. And so, Andy's like, well, you know, Jews are always calling, asking how you do and how you're feeling, what's going on. And Laura's like, ah, what? Are you kidding me? I'm gonna hang up. Okay, it's not a therapy session. I wanna talk to you.

Don't ask me how I'm feeling. Don't ask me about what I'm thinking. Here's what you gotta know about me. I'm halfway through my 13 rotations between the kitchen and the living room, okay? Enough said. You want to know my emotions? Look at the tracks between the living room,

the kitchen and the bathroom, all right? That's how you know what I feel, all right? If it's one inch deeper, you know I had a rough night, Andy. That's it. That's all I'm talking about. That's it. I'm done. You know what, you know that song, Tracks and My Tears?

How about you rename it, Tracks and My Footsteps between the kitchen and the living room and the kitchen, okay? That's a I'm talking about. This is it. I'm done. You know what, you know that song tracks in my tears? How about you rename it tracks in my footsteps between the kitchen and the living room and the kitchen, okay? That's a little call. Let's call this tracks in my former mic, A&D, alright? Personally, and the here's the situation. I spend most of my time walking between two rooms in my house all day long. No one calls, no one asks me anything. Frank is down in Florida. Frank is doing who knows what, getting blow job I owe yous. I don't know. I'm alone. I'm eviscerated. My mom's eating cookies for breakfast.

Someone calls me up and says, how am I doing? You know what I want to say to them? Fuck you. Goodbye. So Andy's like, so what everyone else do the same thing? You know, just leave your husband once he's totally betrayed you, gone to prison, gotten you through an imprisonment, then got deported. And Martin's like, yeah, it's different. Like, she's got kids. I mean, in my situation, like literally to be honest, like let me be honest about this. Like seriously, let me just let me be honest about this. In my situation, I'd go, I mean, Italy,

like they're pasta there. So, you know, I love cockdance. That's it, that's my answer. I mean, I mean, I mean, Andy, like why would I ever choose Englewood over anywhere in Italy? I mean, like this is a dumb conversation. I mean, what do I have here?

Okay, like I have a fake friendship with half these women here like you know what I'm I'm gonna Italy And you know what I guess what I'm coming back right afterwards because you know I can never make up my mind Okay, that's it. I'm saying the truth. That's for you Joan. That's a little like indecision Italy humor right there for you, Joan Okay, if he was gonna be deported to like a mallhouse of ceramics, that's it I'm done. I'd leave them for sure For sure, but you can't eat just that each is about teachers out there so then Joe is like you know It's funny because I asked this question to to Melissa the other night and she said if she were in the same position She would pack up her bags and be with me like and wouldn't even hesitate for one second

I made me tear up so much I jerked off on half the floor So Yeah, she's still trying to come back out of India It made me tear up so much I jerked off on half the floor. So much. Move on ahead. Yeah, she's still trying to come back out of India. What I'm trying, and most of it tries to smooth over. She's like, well, you know, we're in a different situation me and Teresa because, you know, I'm, she's an idiot, Andy. She's an idiot.

And Teresa's like, you said you leave him, though, huh? You said you'd leave him. And they show the clip of him listed being like, I wouldn't stay with Joe. Like I'd leave his ass. And she's, yes, I did say that. Teresa, she's, yeah, well, I didn't do that because I'm sticking with him to the end. Actually, you're sticking with him to like the end of the border. Like, yeah, it's not what they meant.

It's not what marriage means. Okay, just because they don't have like border language in the marriage vows. Yeah, that's not included. Yeah, just because I and S is not a specific clause in the vows does not mean that it's not really couched in there. So, um, so yeah, and then there's a moment where, where, where Teresa's like, yeah, but you said last year that it's you have joked the same thing that you leave him. And we see a clip of Melissa saying,

I would give Joe hell, I would give Joe hell, which to me was not quite the same thing as what Teresa was saying. But then Andy goes, so Teresa, have you been faithful all this time? And then they like edited it to make it seem like she's really like having crisis of consciousness. She's like, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Yeah, I'd be helpful. I mean, I got Lilo, you know? I got Lilo, which is funny because it sounds like she's claiming that Lindsey Lohan got her through this tough time in her life. Yeah, totally. It's like Stitch is waiting outside for her to stop fucking your friend. And then she's like, Amalania true and the pun. I have two now, Andy.

Amalania threw one in the pond, because you know, I got two ponds into house. And Jennifer goes, um, did she know what it was? She's, yeah, I said, look, it's nothing bad. You should let mommy had that. Now she doesn't go into my room. She know better. Like it took that, like she had to go in there and see Jojoo and I snaked before.

I was like, I was like, you're never gonna walk into another master master bedroom as it is. Exactly. Yeah, of course she knew what it was. Why do you think she has a song called, I can't wait to grow up. You know what I'm saying? We took about at the verse of Dupont, Andy. I love that that was Melania's form of acting out. It was that she took her mom's vibrator

and threw it into a pond. And I'm also surprised that nothing came out of that pond when that happened, like some strange, like nasty, Jersey Shore genie, you know. It's like the genie, but it has poly-dies hair. All right, let's listen here. Thank you for getting me out of that pond. You got three conishes Okay, he is okay, you got me out of that pond. Thank you for releasing me from bondage Okay, you get three wishes and they have to start with GT and L

So the next part is Andy is like so moving on do you have sadness knowing that you could take it by the joke? It's like, Andy, this is not moving on. Okay. This is you trying to have a barber Walter's moment and like failing to like do anything. I mean, he doesn't realize the way to make Theresa cry is to like talk about like, I don't know. Just talk about calories.

Talk about her angel winged doorknobs falling off the hands. Say everyone's so it's so sad Andy. Because everyone gets a mistakes, but to get to pour it. And Jen's like, yeah, and he did his time. It's in his time, Andy. Yeah, thanks. Thanks. Thanks, Jen. Thanks Jennifer. So, um, thank you, Mandy. Yeah, thanks. Thanks, thanks, Jen. Thanks, Jennifer. So thank you, Jennifer. So Andy's like, um, so you knew, so you know,

a vanka, you were on the apprentice, you know, a vanka Trump, you know, the president, um, have you thought of reaching out to them, which has, by the way, been my long standing theory. And Teresa goes, ah, no. It's like, wait a second. You know literally the most powerful person in this country I need to even think to reach out

She goes maybe I should And the sad part is because Andy S. I question I guarantee if the gears of we're not already emotion. They're gonna be a motion now Yeah, no kidding. Well, what the hell he's got nothing to lose That sounds like something he too and now a great man a great man, a great man who's a great man, the greatest man, great business man. Not only is Joe going to be like not deported, he's going to become the chief of staff. Wait, what you can do about?

We're announcing a new chief of ice. Joe, you guys, because you know, there's ice in the name. So go ahead, Joe. Yeah. So we got, Joe. Yeah. So I got you. Why? So what? Who cares?

By the way, less than to be learned, if you've been in the country since you were one year old, when you were one year old, and you've been here for like 40 years, like maybe like become a citizen. And then you're trying to probably avoid it. You can have a driver's license. Remember, he gave them his brother's driver's license. There were something sketchy about it.

I think he was probably trying to avoid some sort of taxes or whatever by like never becoming a full citizen. But like, yeah, keep your mind open to it. Donald Trump's like, well, thanks for coming in, Joe. It's good to be able to just somebody take my watch. Come on, that guy. So, okay, he's still got it. Still got it. I would love it if actually Joe, Joe,

Joe, just took Sarah, a could he say, under a job? It's like, yeah, what happened was the Russians, yeah, you know, what you could do about the Russians. You know, you know, here's what I told you. We had a sit down, I had a sit down with a guy named Kim. I said, you're a guy, what you name Kim? You know, WikiLeaks, you know what I say to that? Like, I got a dickie that leaks, you know what I'm saying?

You get 40 and all of a sudden you get a little dribble. You know what I'm saying? How about we focus on that, okay? Okay, next question. Oh, so Andy's like, so now let's talk to the husband. Hi Frank, hi Joe, hi Joe, hi other Joe, hi other Frank, hi other Frank, hey Joe, hey Joe, hey Joe, hey Mary, Joe, about a. Hi, other Frank. I have a Frank. Hey Joe. Hey Joe. Hey, Mary Joe. Betafuco. Wait, how did you get in here? Hey Frank, how many eggs did you have today? I actually had a lot. I actually had a lot of

in. I'm glad you asked that because a lot of people don't just have a lot of eggs. And I actually had a lot of eggs today. Bloor's can see there was as many eggs as there were pebbles. It's okay, Frank. Thank you. Thank you. So he goes, Hey, Bill, you took some time off from fixing Jersey, but Jersey Bubbies to be here, huh? I'm gonna say Yeah Just voting my life and Queen and gonna for like sticking your head like she just wins something

It's the first time Bill's ever done anything for her. He's doing it to be on TV, Jennifer, you just said it! Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh Okay, classic match. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you

step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So Evan is there. Evan who's barely on this season, so he's there with like a half grown beard. And then Joe and Joe. Hey, you guys are like best friends.

Yeah, we bonded at hello. What can we say? So then we see a husband montage. I've caught on to how these reunions are done. The first montage is always a light-hearted one. It's always gonna be about. First is gonna be about, if it's a three-parter, it's first gonna be kids. Second episode, it's gonna be about parents. Third episode is gonna be about if it's a three-parter, it's first going to be kids, second episode, it's going to be about parents, third episode,

it's going to be about husbands. I figured it out. You've cracked the code. I cracked the code. Cracked up. So yeah, I really have a husband montage. And Frank's like, yeah, the first time I got you waiting, how many years to wash?

How many years? The first time I got you wet, yeah? I was like, oh, Frank. Oh, Frank is such an asshole. Frank, seriously. So Andy's like, hot Joe, God, I love so hard when you're feeling bimini. He's like, those dancing me code Andy, huh? And he's like, I don't think you're blood alcohol, Matt code. I don't get it. I don't get it. What you trying to say? It made no sense.

Actually, so you're actually in the right for once, Gorgah. So what did Bill think about all of Jennifer's bragging and Bill's like, I didn't like it. You know, we're trying to teach our children not to be spoiled little bitches. Now we want to showcase what our queens have. Queen. I told her, be love thirsty, queen. He's like, I have one thing to say about Jennifer's thirstyness, Andy.

He turns into Cardi B, Cardi Bell. Let bottom shoes. So Jennifer just strikes. Yeah, that's me, Andy. So Andy's like, so, Bill, Jennifer said that she dry-humped you a bunch because she couldn't vet you. So what's there a part of that, part of you that wishes that you gave Jennifer a test drive first? Which is like, it's like he's really pushing this point. And Bill just rolls his eyes like, it's like he's really pushing this point and they'll just roll his eyes like bitch, please and then if I was like

I'm totally comfortable with this question The surprise aspect was great at me You know, I always say I don't like surprise it, but it was shocking and it was just but it was It was shocking But it was shocking. And it was just without pain. It was shocking. And it was great. So, uh, hey, what does Joe be? Think about margin, Jan, margin being so close to Jan and Joe be like, eh, he's homeless. He's like, well, what do you mean by that? He's a little old man. It's not an issue.

Thomas is like, well, what do you mean by that? He's a little old man. It's not an issue. It's like a high old pot. Meet the old kettle. I know. You're old. So, hey, Evan, we don't really know anything about you and we don't really know what to ask you.

So, are you competitive? And he's like, well, actually, yeah, I mean, for a variety of reasons, I'm not allowed to coach anymore. I'm like, you should never lead with that. I never lead with that because Megan's List website or Megan's Law or whatever that is, just like shut down for service. There are a lot of documentaries that are out right now, okay, that are coloring our

perceptions of certain phrases. So yeah, he's not allowed to coach. But if I'm, he's like, you know, I had this socketsim Andy and they didn't do well. And I said, you know what? I feel like abducting you right in plain sight. He's like, you know what? I'm gonna send you Neverland. All right, kids, you know, shape up. I don't think, uh, uh, so Frank, what was it? what was it like to train Teresa oh you know what I thought it would be a waste of my time and I mean that the best possible way you know It's not the way like the Laura says a waste of all of our times, but I mean that in the best possible way to basically she's like pebble tile except she's not as smooth you know She's more like glossy she's much squishy she's squishy it was great great experience

Yeah Frank what a piece of shit you are all right I can't wait to sleep with you after this right you're on experience. Yeah Frank what a piece of shit you are. Alright I can't wait to sleep with you after this. Right? You're on. So then Andy's like okay for the first time in history we've asked the husbands to write down lies. This is gonna be great, right? Bill why don't you go ahead and go first. Oh me? Okay. A nip and tuck a day allows my wife to spend and play. Go on with your bad self, Jennifer. I love that he talks about how much money he has in his tagline. After just saying he doesn't like to brag. Yeah.

You're just enough of a hypocrite to make it on this show, Bill. Welcome. Welcome to a long-term contract. Yeah, exactly. So Evan's like, I have four kids two degrees and one key cast wife and trees like she's all mad and he goes it's boring deliberately he's like my second my second draft was I'm not allowed near children for the various reasons and even for various reasons Andy. Okay, now here's my real line Here's my real line if you lose a socket, you're fucking lose a kid all right your mom sucks That's what she gave you up. All right now get home find a way to get home all right chasing your response get out of my face

Frank I work hard I play hard until I spend all my money on boats and wars Lord's coach you could say a lot about Frank, but he's a man of sky, right? And then he said whoa do you really love hoards and Gorka goes everyone loves a Just getting Melissa. It's a joke. Melissa, it's a joke. It's a joke. But you know, Daniel Stobb is backstage.

We all love her. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? High five. Anyone? Anyone? No. So Joe, of course, has an outfit to put on.

And he's still on like a gold tablecloth from God knows where they are. You know, like the holiday in in Jersey or whatever. Yeah, and he comes at me and he's like, you want the job done right? Ask me. I'll do your wife. That was that was Joe Benino actually. That was Marge's husband. Oh, sorry. It's hard because there's only two Joes back-to-back giving lines. So I can say, oh, sorry. So his Gorgas was, I don't flip tables. I have sex on them. Haha hold on hold on. Alright, got another one. I'm not a plumber, but I know how to lay pipe. I love it that his lines are just as indelicate as we would say. Like that they're just as like lacking any finesse.

Just like a That actually might be one of them and then expect me to have paper towels to wipe your face after, right? Yes, for in the first place. Some book. Yeah, it's probably some, you know, I didn't just work on the pole. I worked my pole, which is my penis. I work in construction because I like to erect buildings with erections. Yeah, Joe's was want the job right? Ask me and I'll do your wife.

You know, I don't know. These people are like a little too free about joking about the shitty things that they've done in their past. It's like, yeah, it's still a little old man's wife. So what are you going to do? His name is Jan for crying out loud. So it's time to discuss Marty, which means that here comes Danielle Stobb and a in an off-brand Hillary Clinton blue pant suit. It was like not the look I was expecting from her. It's God with the huge bobby pin. Huge. Biggest bobby pin I've ever seen. The biggest bobby pin and watch what happens history. You will. Making bobby pin, breaking all the bobby pin and watch what happens history you will. Making Bobby pin, breaking all the body pin records, it's Danielle's dog.

So Andy's like, so are you still cohabitating with Marty? Didn't you guys file restraining orders? And she's like, um, Andy, you did it on social media, which is even more disgusting than anything I can ever do. And Martin is like, uh, you both watch social media all over the place. So I don't even know what you're talking about right now. So, like, didn't you do this on TMZ? By the way, I wish there had been like a follow-up question, which is,

how are you guys living in the same house, be ever-shrining orders against each other? Like, do they do like an elaborate dance to the house? Like, where they're like, both up against the wall on opposite of rooms? Okay, I'm going into the kitchen. You go into the foyer. Okay, keep this. All right, I hear by decree that you saw not come closer than one piece of buttered toast to each other. All right.

I'm sorry Andy. I sold my pants. I haven't been able to go to bathroom. Marty's been sitting in there for 10 hours. He knows I can't go even to go to bathroom. Marty's been sitting in there for 10 hours. He knows I can't go even anywhere closer to it. And how is TMZ social media? I guess they're like, what do you mean you're not on social media?

You were just on TMZ and she's, that is a response to everything that he's done to me. I was saying I just want to keep it out of the public eye. And most of the time, you went on TMZ to say you didn't want to be the public guy. Like who does that? She's like, I'm Melissa Gorga and even this seems crazy to me. So, yeah. So then on top of everything else, Danielle's like I was selling her wedding rings and she's asking for $35,000. I don't know why I wrote that down. Well, I get 35 grand from a dude, huh?

You know how many old fucking wrinkly ass faces I had to sit on? I never got 35 grand for nothing. Yeah. So then we go through a Daniel, Daniel's job montage, which is one of my favorite types of montages. And then how could you, you did that to me? How could you, she did that to me? Did you see what she did to me? Oh, good

You he did that to me where I'm in love with children. Oh, your children. Oh good you now Daniel is a monster But she's a hilarious monster and I'm glad she's on this show Yeah, and also I think it's extremely unfair for Andy to be letting all the guys sit there during the Danielle segment Why do they get to be there heckling her? Like, that's not very good, man. That's not cool. You're actually right. You're actually very right. I mean, they weren't heckling too bad, but it was.

It was really weird. Not at first, but Gorgah was especially bad. It's like everything she said, he's like heckling her. I'm like, I didn't get that much money from my post. You know, what's that? Ah, guys, ah. I think that's a very good point. And I'm sure we will be seeing her making that point on social media which she's not on.

I had to be there alone one woman against our cabal of men. So, Andy's like, okay, a lot of questions, a lot of questions. First, and perhaps most important, what did you do with that deal deal? Oh, that March gave you. I was like, oh really? That's the question you want to ask me You get yell stop is distusted by this all that's happened this season that is the question you want to ask Okay, well here's the answer I put it in my garage against the walls that way I know where my car is all the way in

It's like that's surprising and resourceful. I think it's like one of those dangling tennis balls in the garage That's it. I think it's like one of those dangling tennis balls in the garage. That's what I was imagining. That's what I was imagining. At least it was there until Melania threw it into a pond. Melania accused. They're like, why is the garage door keep bumping in? Melania's trying to get it down. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, Joe B, why did you, so why did, why did you guys bad mouth Danielle to Marty on the bachelor party?

Like, what was that all about? And can you say, I was mortified. Duh, duh, duh. Well, I behavior was terrible too, Andy, but I do not deserve to be spoken about like that. And Georgia, Clark, he's like, you're not a guy. That's what we do. All right, we rid each other. And Jennifer you're not a guy that's what we do all right we rid each other and Jennifer's like oh that's what guys do huh and he's like yeah I get bill shipped for buying Chanel every day that's what men do Jennifer it's what they do huh feels like oh go on bro yes anyone want

lunch because I'm hungry for some pro ham Hey, let's all just get naked and make fun of each other right. Let's do that. Hey, let's settle this with the sword fight So Andy's like so I read that you spent 45 grand on that dress and she's like, uh, it was 35 Andy I got it discount and then Gorg is like, yeah, it's someone bought me that I would have sucked his toes, huh? We really need him sexually harassing Danielle from the fucking rafters. Yeah, let the woman have her $10,000 discount It's better than an envy discount if you ask me no kidding good talk. What are you so mad about discounts for fake marble in your house? Yeah, so how does Joe Benino? I think his name is Benino, right? I just keep calling him Joe Benino. Joe B, what has Joe feel about Danielle and Marty saying all like,

how about basically Marty saying all that stuff about Marge and everything? And basically they're like, well, he was based, it wasn't Marty speaking. It was Danielle speaking through Marty, which I love because it, to me, it reminded me of like the naked gun and how like Ricardo Montablanlon brainwashed all those people like Reg Jackson to kill the Queen and I'm just imagining Daniel Stop like wielding that sort of power but like not for any sort of grand international terrorist scheme just to like Just to shame someone in New Jersey Yeah, just to yell it out the Joe's at a pool. Yeah, exactly Like inside site, you know, in hindsight,

Marty's a woman's name too, actually. So, you know, like, what am I supposed to take a serious significant gaffer? Yeah, now, yeah, now apparently, Marge, and they're all friends with Marty now. So go figure. Yeah, Daniel's like, oh, great. Of course they are. Of course, just to hurt me, just to put a spike through my heart Andy What am I gonna get credit for this giant bobby pin, okay? So we go we come back and Andy's like so Danielle you said that all Melissa really has going for is Teresa. She and Melissa goes I didn't hear her say that and run she's like oh she said it on the after show. I heard it That's what she said Danielle's like um I said she only has a story with Teresa this different Andy is totally

different and recently I've heard Melissa say not very nice things about me and Melissa goes name one and she's like uh um there's a dildo hanging mic garage so I don't crash into walls that's about it well here's the thing I can't remember because it's some little troll stole a dildo from my garage and I crashed into the wall and you know I have now short-term memory issues. But let me tell you something. But Melissa, nothing going on except for Teresa. And by the way, Melissa was like, I have nothing else going on for me. I'm like, yeah, you don't even have a response to that.

Except to repeat it. If you've got something, feel free to drop it now. I mean, there was that episode where you ordered giant blue drinks for your kids. It was that count. Maybe. I don't know. And so she's like, your husband, your husband taught about my vagina and Gregor, because that's a compliment, huh? That vagina got that's a compliment, huh? That vagina got 19 guys gag. Uh huh. What am I wrong? What am I wrong guys?

No, it wasn't my vagina. It was my practical view on the US economy stronger together. I'm wearing the Hillary suit. I'm so honored Call me polka-honest together. I dare you I'm not going to be a little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more

little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more for the Democrat Party in 2020. So why didn't Danielle fix the rift with Marty's kids? I never wanted him to take my side over the kids. I just merely wanted to be if there was an argument with me and the kids he would take my side. That's all. And then Melissa's like, I was surprised that a man would choose a woman

over his children. And Danielle's like, oh, I never asked him to take my side. Yeah, you did you said you would never have brushes with those pieces of shit. That's what you said. You said you're never gonna have a bridge with them. And she's like, oh, I never said that. No, 60-year-old bad if you're ruined his life. All right, no one believes you. And you've faked a marriage to be on TV. That's what she did. There. I said it. I said it. She picked a marriage pay attention Police, okay? All I said is if I'm gonna have brunch I don't want to eat pieces of shit for brunch. I want to have a bagel like a respectable human being

I think you heard misheard me Margaret Joseph's Then I look across the table and Melissa doesn't have any brunch and I said you know what Melissa wouldn't have anything to eat if it went for Teresa Sherry come brunch with her. Yeah, that's right. I gave up my branches. I gave her my branches Like Teresa, do you even know what you're talking about? No So so Danielle, why did you go through this wedding? I mean is it a sham wedding like were you whoa? It didn't seem I mean it was over so quickly. What was the deal with it? She's like I Was never really brought up in love so how do you know what love really looks like?

How do you tell a lion you're a lion? How do you tell the rain hey you're raining on me? You don't yet just have to live it. It's a special bit on TV. How do you know what love is, unless you see yourself get to get a national television ad. Andy. Alright.

I was raised for five years in my life listening to Tina Turner on repeat and I emerged from that cell saying, hey, what's love got to do with it? What does love got to do with it? What does love got to do with it? I'm a private dancer now, so I became a private dancer at Sparks and afterwards every relationship I was like Why do I have to wait for the love park? It's what I love how to do with it and then I went into a Thunderdome and killed people You better be good to me I said, you better be good to me. Little males.

Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little male. Little? He's simply the best, simply the best. Uh, so I'm marginally like, you know what, I'm speaking for you. All right, did Latin America tell you? Go on, go on Twitter America. All right, let's tell you, you fake it for TV. And uh, no, this is like, well, I will say that the wedding did feel a little off. Thank you. She's acting like it's like, like, maybe like, day old fish.

I don't know. I'm a little concerned. Yeah. So Andy's like, so Dolores, because really the only reason Dolores ever says anything is because Andy's like, so what is Dolores thinking? Dolores, it's not gonna fuck about anything. Yeah. So he's like, Dolores. Did you think that marriage worked? And she goes did I think the marriage worked? No, she's fucking crazy. She's a wackado. She sits all over me last year. She shout all over me. She's wackado.

She's a wackado. What else you want me to say? Huh? You know what? You know what? We call people like that in Paterson? Wackado. You ever played that carnival game Wackamoll? We call it Wackado. I mean, just beat people like Daniel over there with a hammer and it's funny because we called do smoke It's crazy Andy Thank and I actually met playing whack-a-do And he's like well we have not enough sexual harassment from Joe Joe Gorgo What do you think of all this he's why do I think it's fucking crazy?

What do you think of all this? He's, what do I think? It's fucking crazy. Hey, bye everyone. So then a real surprise twist, which I really enjoyed. We have a question from Franklin Lakes. It's from Kim G. I was like, oh, shocker, shocker, what a shock. It is kind of a shocker.

And did they like show that clip of Kim G, like chasing Danielle's dog out of like rails and she's like, ah, don't you ever come back here? He's like, you, you look at me, Mr. Danielle's throw up, okay, I'm gonna throw this napkin down on that sidewalk. So her question is, what is Jackie think? We Dan Hurl, let's be in comments when she pretended to be a lesbian for one season. And Jackie's like, I got a question about that. How could you use sexuality like that?

I get somebody. And Andy's like, you mean sexual preference or something? She said sexual preference, he's like sexual orientation. So she's like, yeah, yeah, whatever. She's like whatever. Yeah, and she goes, well, I wasn't kidding about me bisexual. I have and have always been A bisexual Andy. And if you don't know what a trisexual is, if you've never experienced, how do you know if you are what, you know, put a wheel on my vagina. We'll see. How do you know if you are what, you know, put a wheel on my vagina, we'll see. But until then, this is all I know. I know two sexes I can have sex with, the B and the I, I have sex with both. I'm a bisexual, okay?

And like, all bisexuals, I buy my sexual experiences. And that's that. I told Theresa, if you want to move to Italy, I'll teach you by Lingus. I have my own airline called AirLingus. So, um, so then, uh, by the way, let's not forget that Daniel Sob was the one who came down on Joe Judis for saying the F word in season one when they were dancing and Joe Judis is like, Hey, look at this. Look at this. F would, you know, and one who had that friend who's like, Yeah,

that guy ain't nothing but a F-word. She's now like, you need to snap up my friend, that'd be. That was my son. But I think this whole thing is stupid. I mean, come on. I also wanna point out that this was like one of many quote unquote points that are made to this reunion.

I was just making a point. I wasn't making fun of lesbianism. I was just saying there were so close. Like, there were like best friends. I was like, what is this? Like, lesbian I was just making a point. I wasn't making fun of lesbians. I was just saying there was so there was so close. Like there were like best friends. I was like, what is this like lesbians? It was a point. I was just making a point. And Jackie's like, I can't believe someone would do something like that. Which take note of that because that's important later. Yeah. I guess Jackie the one who said Teresa your husband and Jail is like that. Just making a point. Yeah, just make it a point.

So Andy's like, from having backs to stabbing backs, Margin Daniel, what a pair, huh? And so we get to the whole Margin Daniel thing, which I mean, really made the season sing. Yeah, it was really great. I mean, I honestly like, Daniel Stobbe has been good for this show. So, Marge, you know, you were friends with Danielle all of last season and you ignored Dolores' warnings. Like, why did you do that? Okay, okay, here's the thing. I mean, if Dolores gives you a warning sign, you know what it looks like? It looks like a bean bag or just sitting on the ground.

You're like, why is that bean bag there? Why isn't it not in a cornhole? Like, who was throwing it? And, you know what, I'm just gonna move on because I don't want to stay up this bean bag which is sitting on the ground. You're like, why is that bean bag there? Why isn't it not in a cornhole? Like, who was throwing it? And what, you know what, I'm just gonna move on because I don't wanna stay with this bean bag anymore. That's what it's like. Who asked that question, Dad? He's Charlotte from Little Rock.

Hey, Charlotte, get to a big rock. All right, I'll talk to you then. All right, bye. At my brother's jewelry store, big rocks, big rocks. So, you know what, so I saw signs and you know what? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, So you know what so I saw signs and you know First I was like you know what she's great, but you know what I started to see the signs and I was like you know This woman who needs therapy. Okay, she needs therapy real bad therapy and then and Danielle goes well Thank God that your opinion

Me nothing to me I thought of you as my person. You were my person. And to Marjit's like, you know what? You were not my person. All right, you're not my person. And Tim, he goes, you're not a girl's girl. Sikki was right about you.

Sikki, Flekka, there I said it. You know what, honestly, I'm still mad that Sikki, Sikki got to call you an anti-SMIite and not me because damn that's good. That's rich Why does everybody hate sammites, you know the big trucks if a warfare semi Brocharts couldn't get to the grocery store where do we buy them? What's so wrong? What's so wrong about being anti-Semite? I mean they come in and they eat the wood in all your houses, you know? So Teresa's like all I'm kind of trucks. So Teresa.

So Teresa, Dolores and Marge both say that Daniel can't be trusted. Who do you believe or why don't you believe them? Who do you believe her? Why don't you believe them? But that's between these dim dims twos, you know if there's anything I've learned about my situation of going to jails camps it's that You never want to have blind faith in some ones and you should always pay attention to warning signs Okay, and my warning signs aren't going off Just two of my best friends telling me that she can't be trusted. That's all off just to my best friends telling me that she can't be trusted. That's all. And Trisha, uh, Marge is like, uh, Theresa, she said multiple things to people. All right, Theresa, come back. Come back Theresa. She goes, she hadn't done things to you. That's what she did to you. Yeah. Oh, okay. What about when she said that, uh, I told her that I don't

trust you in Melissa. And she goes, I'm dad with nothing. What else? You guys sat in the mask. All right. What about what she said to me before they had your party? I mean, could you believe it? Could you die? Just double could say that. Could you don't?

What's safe that to me? OK. And she said, but when my mother was sick, she texted me every day. She didn't got to do that. So someone nice to you. How could I be mean to that? I'm just like you defending the indefensible Teresa, right?

Just say what about what she said about my mother? And Daniel's like I didn't say anything about your mother. What I said was your mother having an affair was wrong. And that's it. It was wrong. She like you were with an airy, a married man. What are you serious? What it prostitutes my sleep with married men like what it would it prostitutes drop moral lines in the sand I mean she met her second husband while she was she was a stripper

She was a stripper like oh my god the strippers are gonna unite against orange The stripper does not mean hook her mark. Yeah, exactly. You know what? Okay, so like video on porn hub It's the world contest relationships with children. Okay, and Jennifer goes did you say porn hub? Did you say porn hub? Just wanted to check I I just I just thought I'd ask that just for no good reason with no fault Gen was the best part miss because I'm a martyx like yeah Yeah, she made a second husband when she was a stripper and Jenkins is that true? And Dolores goes ask her go ahead and this is like point up is that true?

Internet is that true? She's basically off like an infomercial. Oh what do I do? How do I use tape? So yeah this knife can cut through cup cans which is what everyone needs in the house. Is this true? Oh my god, it's thundering. I feel like there was someone was banging on my wall telling me to shut the fuck up There was a flash of light. I was like oh someone must be taking photos outside which doesn't make sense I'm on the fourth floor and then there was thunder. This is what's happening

God is like you were talking about these bitches for too long, but then so then I also I'm gonna talk about it. It would have made sense if you were on the first floor. Yeah, like there's just people out there taking pictures of me. No, it would make sense that someone's on the sidewalk. Oh, there was one on the one. Here comes another one. I saw another fly. I saw another lightning, okay. I count to five. That's just one minute after it comes to your house because it's you want things. Lightning takes a fast uba, right? Right. So then also they were talking about the kids comment that Daniel made about Marge and the kids. And Daniel's like, listen, I don't think I was going after

a relationship with their kids. I was just trying to make a point. Is it so wrong that we like to make very colorful points on this show? I think we're a very educated show. And he's like, well, Theresa, if somebody said that about your kids, I bet you'd flip the table. She's like, Ha, ha, yeah, I put the table. Andy, there's no table here. Why will I don't understand?

So then Marge is like, you know what? You brought up a children. You deserve that. Why did you face there? I said it. You want me to be honest? You deserved it. I do it again, Andy. I do it again. And Jack, because I've never seen adult you deserve that. Why did you face there? I said it. You want me to be honest? You deserve to. I do it again. I do it again. And Jack, because I've never seen adult fight like that. If someone told me I was a bad mother, I do worth. Okay. I do way worth it.

That I'll take that right now. And for you guys, maybe I've got to be around the Italians more. I mean, big lightning. Sorry. I got distracted. Wait, wait, wait, wait wait we're skipping a little bit. We're skipping a little bit. We're skipping a little bit. We're skipping a little bit. We skipped a little bit. Margaray is bringing up this whole like point, as you

guys hear that. That was a big one. Yeah. So Margaray is bringing up all this like this like, oh you were stripping you a hooker and then Daniel goes you are a shitty person to bring up anything in my past Margas it was in your book okay and I actually read that thing okay it was terrible but at least I learned some things you know what you know what Danielle you can change your face you can change your address you can change your clothes you could put on a Hillary pants suit you can put you could put the jello in your cheeks okay but you can't change your soul. You're still that Beverly inside. And then I was like, no, I'm like, my soul is black. It's black.

It's like, oh, I couldn't do it. I can't believe it. I just have to open it. Yeah, that was, that was strong. You can change your face. You can change your dress. You can change your order in the diet. You can change your, you can change your pool, you can pull shape. You can change your order and to die that you could change you you could change your pool you could pull shape You could change your umbrella But you can't change your soul and Andy was giving that

Look, but they will never take away a film Yeah, it was like William Wallace meets Alita Adams just get here. Anyway, you can So and then Dan y'all comes back with a typical Danielle Coma. She's like oh Ali look at the mirror. Look, a margillistic blitzer lips and rolls her eyes. There you go. That's a follow-up. What am I going to say? This is why I'm not an opener.

I'm a closer. Let me tell you something. I learned from John Rivers, she learned from Elaine Boother. Okay, I think we, enough said. So now they're talking about, now we go to the Mexico segment where we're talking about the big fight in Mexico. And Danielle, even though she just said I was just making a point, she's now doubling down and saying, you know what, Marge, you didn't spend any time with your kids. Otherwise, it'll be around instead you had an affair. Just making a point, just making a point. The point the AMD.

Yeah. So, um, so, hey, Theresa, why didn't you defend Melissa? Theresa's like, uh, you know, I went, I, I, I, um, I walked around the tables and I was like, Melissa, what you, uh, yes. It's like I followed that. I'm Melissa because you didn't defend me like you wanted uh, yes. It's like I followed it. I'm gonna say because you didn't defend me like you wanted me to defend you, you against her against Jackie. And she's like, yeah, but like it was, uh, oh no, Jen, because look, I know it was out of line for me. But you know what?

If I broke a glass and I was going to actually use the glass, it would have been obvious that I was going to use the glass. Like I think that it's pretty obvious when you break a glass and shove it at somebody that you're going to use it Jennifer. But the real reason why she did it, I was just trying to prove a point. Oh, it's just listen, but we're from Patison you break a glass that would end it differently I'll tell you that right now all right. I love to make a point Listen Andy what I'm gonna do right now is I'm gonna stab you with some glass and you're gonna see how hurt you are

And I am and you you might get mad at me, but I want you know. I'm just proving a point Yeah, something when we're raising baby Ben. I'm gonna tell him listen You father learned something Because I made a point. Yeah, something when we're raising baby Ben, I'm gonna tell him listen. You father learned something because I made a point. Right? That's it. You know, it doesn't have points pebble tiles. Okay, they always said it. So, uh, so yeah. So Trees says her whole defense is like, you know what? You didn't, she didn't even hurt you. So why why why I have to say anything? I didn't even hurt you. I wasn't even thinking like that. There was so much going on. My Lilo was missing.

Was he in a pond? I don't know. Why is the wild with evil? Put yourself in my shoes, Melissa. That no husband and Melissa goes, oh, here we go again with the no husband. That is in fashion. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Melissa goes, that is the flesh shit. It's fine. And she goes, nah, you're the flesh dead. Oh Melissa goes that is the flagship at its finest you know, I am a flapped in Also a deflection by the way, yeah, she goes okay Melissa my dad died when I was 16 Why didn't you defend me there? Do you like it? You like him a list of three cents like oh my god? Oh my god Oh my god. Oh my god keep going baby keep going ulcer prone-etail thing Melissa's can I mean a Teresa's confused on so many levels because she's like I know her father died and you know she's like what? Why didn't she tell me I thought we were sisters yeah so actually so now then we'd start talking about Marty being thrown into the pool and

you know, it's like so Danielle, now that you and Marty aren't together and you saw what he said, are you still as mad that he got tossed in a pool? She, I am mad because he could have gotten hurt. He could have gotten hurt, right Dolores? You know what that feels like. I do. Hey, hey, don't trick me like that. It was shallow, Andy. It was a shallow pool. A gentle like it is shallow. Yes, it's a shallow pool. All right. Now, and you should have let the

med deal with it because this was a bad fight with the man with talking about you not having tips and being hideous looking. That is a man, especially when he sent it to your face. I mean, that was a man fight. I knew it was fascinating. Jennifer's like, wait, wait, I just, I just want to say I have a huge swimming pool with a nine foot in deep end. And I'm pretty sure that Lady Gaga song is about my pool. Okay, thank you.

And Trisha is like, yeah, I want to let the man handle it. Yeah, look where that got you. Okay. Yeah. Maybe we should like drop that line of thinking cast of Real Housewives of Teen Jersey. Yeah. Remember when Joe and Joe handled things and that retreat and they wrestled and Joe Gorgas spray-tanned got on the wall. No, it was spray-hair. No, it was spray-hair. No, it was spray-hair. It was spray-hair got on the wall.

And also, you've been to prison letting your man handle it. So how about we just stop it? You've been through some of that, okay? Yes, 2019, guys. Come on. So, Marge is like, well, here's what happened. He said horrible things, and so I pushed him at the pool, and he didn't go all the way. And no I pushed him in the pool and he didn't go all the way and No Joe pushed him in but he didn't go all the way so the barge came over and gave him the final push

Okay, it's called teamwork. All right. That's what house was and why it's to well How am I supposed to know what teamwork is? That's why I never felt it How would I know I was never raised on a team? I was just raised on a athletic group of people who all were going after the same ball at the same goal. Is that a team? I don't know. Does Havi the sharing Coca-Cola is out of a nice ice cooler at the end of a game on a big green area? the area, build with lines that you're not supposed to cross or you are supposed to cross to make- does that make you a team player? I don't know, I'm never grown up like that. I don't know, you tell me something, okay why don't you ask your husband Jackie the

man who can't get- you know, so how about this, what's- tell me this, riddle me this, you're on a so-called team and then everyone gets armed slices in half time and guess what, you don't get an armed slice, is that still a team? I don't think so. I don't think so. I just feel like I was on a team. What's a team? Uh, Jens, I just wouldn't push somebody in a pool of Andy because I wouldn't want to get sued. And he's like, um, but really, you're more afraid of getting sued for throwing someone in a pool than you are like threatening them with broken glass. She goes, I'm anti.

I am more like that because I knew that my motive wasn't to hurt anybody. Anti. No wonder everybody on this show goes to jail. Like they don't have any idea how the law worked. I broke the law and the law didn't understand my point. So, is there any hope for Margaret and Danielle? I broke the law and the law didn't understand my point so So is there any hope for Margaret and Danielle and Marley? Okay, you know, you know, like this is this is for real I wish her the best. Okay. I wish the best. She's a slut. She's terrible She'll make lots of people miserable next thing. No, she'll be like I don't know

Like engage with some Duke or some bullshit like that. Anyway, hope she has the best Do I want her to be murdered? No, I'll say that and so Danielle's like well to some Duke or some Bullshae like that. Anyway, hope she has the best. Good night. Do I want her to be murdered? No, I'll say that. And Satanya was like, well, I don't have a punch line if the end of my speech. I'm like, she didn't have one either. But obviously, free preparation.

You prepared this so you think that she's gonna have one, but she didn't. I wasn't raised with comedy. I don't know what laughter is. I need no, what a bunch of lines is. If you weren't raised with a line, she goes, I can tell you this. I deserved that up.

Then how you treated me? And Andy's like, okay, Danielle, anything else you want to say? And she goes, yes. I appreciate friendship. So, Lisa, I've gotten something for you. Tiny blue box, that's right. A biffonese, all right.

It's a token, but letting me back it, which means like thanks for letting me shoot again this season. Exactly, it's appendent. It says, DNT, and it is absolutely not a Discard from someone who was making something for a gin and tonic and messed up. It really was commissioned by me It's not from somebody that was tried to vote for Donald Trump during the elections All right, it's BMP and Dolores goes

Yeah, and if your friendship ever breaks up, which it probably will let's face it You can just say its name to lorison Teresa, all right? And the Lord's like, ah Lord's like, you know what Sri I got you something also. It's a coaster. It's made of cardboard not great quality But it'll do for a few days. I got it from the dressing room But then Jennifer is like, oh, that reminds me, I got to reach something to it's something very special from my brother.

Brother, we now just send you. And this is where Jackie goes, Oh, and I'm the one who gets a cue to being a lesbian. Like, Oh, okay. So now it's okay to make less being. Yeah, exactly. I also want to point out that when Dan Yel gave the gift, she then also did her trademark awkward reunion hug. She can't go on a reunion without hugging someone awkwardly because she hugs Teresa and then everyone's just like staring and he's like, oh, and then

Teresa immediately starts like bundling up the gift to put away. And and he's like, that's kind then Teresa immediately starts bundling up the gift to put away. And he's like, that's kind of weird. Are you putting away her gift already? Then he's like, I know she loves it. She's like, well, yeah, I mean, I'll go with night. It was night. She's like, oh, yeah.

Looks pretty awkward, Teresa. You search something awkward about that gift that you want to talk about. Yeah, I am. I'm like,. Oh really? I'm gonna look pretty awkward. Hey, hey, she loves it. I can tell. I mean, I think I can tell I wasn't raised in a house where people loved things that were given to them.

Who knows what that looks like? I don't know. You know how? Oh, and Andy's such an asshole. He's like, I just had like the entire male cast come out and be right. He was actually harassed you. I gave you no one leg up in this entire show. And now I'm going to mock your gift and try and start a fight between you and Teresa. He's terrible. So then Teresa goes, ah, he goes, okay, let's hit this show by having Teresa show us a yoga pose,

which out of a lot of terrible endings, this has got to be the most terrible idea. Yeah, that's where he stops it. No, no, I'll do my own pose. Y'all see now. Joey, we got to surprise him. Yeah, so they wheel out this little car, that's for toddlers, but it's like a Mercedes. And then they give like a little Adidas track suit

that's like, you know, what, like little mobsters wear. You know, cute gifts, it was nice and everything. And then we're all gonna give you advices, okay? My advice is, Alilo is a vibrator and you might go to jail someday so you should listen to me Dolores is like let me tell you something Andy everyone always says it But the time goes so quickly unless you're walking from your kitchen to your living room to your kitchen That's just that takes all day until the first like Andy my vice it's when you have the kids birthday party

You've got to get red balloons because a little boy is gonna want to pink one and the little girl's gonna want a blue one. So just get trans balloons and okay, that is how liberal eyes gotten over the course of this show. I mean as long as your husband lets you. And make sure your Amazon Prime account is current. Don't really I think everything else has a generic like really generic It's videos time goes quickly. You're gonna be great. Yeah, so what if you're so delus is like I mean you're so maternal as it is Mark's you could daddy does she could be a good daddy that everybody okay But I like when they were bringing out the surprise and he's trying to guess what it is. And you just see how his mind works.

He goes, is it Caroline? Is it Kim D? Is it Frankie and a speedo? Yeah. Well, I would have welcomed all of us to the end of the real housewives of New Jersey season nine. Hey, Jersey, great job. Great to have you back. You really did wonderful things. That brings us to the end of the real housewives of New Jersey season 9! Hi! Hey Jersey, great job! Great to have you back.

You really did wonderful things. Everyone, keep Danielle's job in your prayers. And hopefully she'll be back another season to cause more chaos. Because honestly, she does a really good job at that. Um, you guys, thank you so much. Come see us in Cincinnati and other places. We're really excited to see you all and have a great day We'll be back tomorrow with our summer house recap

Everybody see you later. Bye Hey prime members you can listen to watch our crap and add free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.