Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: The ICEmen Cometh - Live from Tampa

Episode Date: November 8, 2019

We celebrate the return of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" with a rowdy, awesome live show in Tampa. Unfortunately though, the audio is really bad. We're sorry — we tried to fix it, but we really couldn't do much. However, we implore you to stick it out because we have so much fun breaking down the season premiere of RHONJ. Plus, the Queen of Versailles herself, Jackie Siegel, makes a special appearance on our show to talk about being a guest on Below Deck and other endeavors in her life. Come listen! Get tix to our live shows: http://watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And... Mina Kuchikuchi. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible edible Matthews sisters. And... Mina kuchiku-chiku-chi! Watch what crap is! Watch what crap is! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is! Who cares what crap is! Who cares what crap is!

Who cares what crap is! Watch what crap is! Watch what crap is! I have come after crap, after crap, after crap, after crap. I've been in such a crap, I've been in such a crap. Watch what crap is, kids what, have been like this, so I've been crap in so crap. Watch what crap is, but when you don't want to, get this one, have been like this, so much that crap is. Hello and welcome to Watch our crap in. It's a podcast about all that crap. we just love to talk about on Bravo. We are coming to you for this episode live from

Tampa but as maybe you can hear this isn't so live. That's because I just have to say it. The audio is terrible. It is not a good recording. It's out of our hands. We understand. We apologize in advance. There's nothing we can do about it We've tried to fix it. It's just it's just bad audio. So We apologize and I guess the way to get through it is to pretend like you're listening to an old-timey radio Underwater because that's sort of what it sounds like Either way, we've tried our best apologies and sounds like. Either way, we've tried our best, apologies, and we do thank everyone who

came to the show tonight because it was an awesome, awesome show, and it was so fun. So thanks again, apologies again, and here it is. Whoa, hello! Oh, hi! Oh, God, that was a very romantic song. Did you hear what they started playing it? What's happening? What's happening? Everything! I don't know. We have to stay very far away from each other.

I just turned that one off, I say. I think this one is off. Oh for Christ's sake. All right, we'll sit. We do have a very long board table tonight. Look at this table. It's like a picnic table board table tonight. Look at this table. It's like a picnic table.

Hi, everybody. Thank you so much for coming. Oh, my God. Let's have a ball. Wow, Florida, you guys are so hot. I mean, it's like literally hot here. I can't believe this winter. How do you all eat so much and still stay thin?

Like, what do you mean we're thin? And math, I mean, we know math. Yeah. Is that all math? Because you guys still have such pretty faces, dude. It's not fair. Well, we are so excited. This is my first time ever in Tampa.

So this is really exciting for me. You know that my history in Florida began at the Jupiter dinner theater in Jupiter, Florida. And this is a dinner theater in Florida and it's so amazing to be back here and be up in the room with like a flickering open sign. You know, it's just like soap dish. Stop pulling me, Mr. Naman! Tampa, the ex-home of... He just came. Huh, yeah.

Huh. Uh, so I have to say something really quick. I just have to compliment your water here. Wow. Okay, so you know how people say like, Oh, there's hard water and then there's soft water. I'm like, what the fuck is that? It's wet water, it's water.

Yeah, what is that? There's like Texas water with more fluoride because the bushes care about our teeth. There's something like you can smell the chloride. There's that kind of difference. But now I know what the fuck you guys are talking about. Because I took a shower today and I was like, am I grease?

Like, is it grease? Like, I didn't, you know my ass. Well, just keep putting on argon oil for like a week, can't think. So I was like, is it me? And then so I do use dove moisturizing. I know you can't tell. And I was showering and I was like, I't get the soap off I can't get it all Well, I hate that feeling you guys have very silky glamorous water here. So thank you. Tampa's known for its glamorous water

Yeah, you know what else we know Florida for we have a really good friend who lives out here. His name is Miss Jackie Segal Also known as the Queen of Versailles. You know her originally as the Queen of Versailles, but now this bitch is the Queen of Bravo. She's on everything on Bravo. This is true. She's going to show up as a waiter on Vanderpump Rules as she's probably.

She was like on every show this year on Bravo. Which by the way, did you guys all see that teaser today from Vanderpump Rules? If you didn't, this is what it was. Oh, you know, what happened to these people? January 7th, I was like, oh yeah. Lisa Vanderpump has become our impersonation of Lisa. It's like, where come back, dude?

Sure. A mythical land within people fighting. I never thought these friendships would fall apart. God, I was just waiting to see Ben's puppetry back there, like moving his hand. Anyway, our friend Jackie is here and Jackie, I hope that you will come up here and talk to us. Yeah, we have a low deck question that. We have some questions.

Come on in. I got my kids here. Oh, yeah. Come on in. I'll never see. Come on in. I got my kids here. Oh, yeah, I'm sure they'll be fine. No, I do have some. No, but I have a couple of grown kids now.

I mean, since the Queen of Versailles, I mean, that was like 10 years ago. Yeah, there were just little babies when they walked in about Walmart and just started shoving sit in there. Remember that I'll never have that. That was my favorite scene in the entire movie. But now there are grownups in like, um, learning the business.

And they're actually like working, they're actually working adults because I've met your children. A couple of them are like selling a book. The other one like works. It's like, why do you work again? I was very confused. I was like, why did you guys finish the house, by the way? No, we have to have finished.

Really? Yeah. Oh my god, that's like... Is that the number one question? Are you still working on it? We are actually, I'm going there next week to me with a new decorator. Oh yeah, okay, so tell us, tell us. So the first show that you were on, I believe, is flipping out, right?

Flipping out, yeah, with Jeff, oh, Jeff Lewis. Yeah, we don't know as maybe Jeff. With Jeff, um, Jeff Lewis. Yeah we don't know it was maybe Jeff, was Jeff, Jeff Lewis of course. Jeff was, was great. I think I love Jeff. Did he yell at you? I think his lips are bigger than mine. I know and he's always like natural totally natural set up stop bitch totally natural So we really want to know about below deck man. Yeah, you just did that see everyone remember First so so what was the process like of being a guest on below deck? I'll tell you I've been a lot on a lot of like one episode shows like Wife Swap and everything. I'm the blue.

Oh girl, that was just like a wave, a memory wave that just came over me. Well, my husband wanted the Wife Swap show, so. So. Yeah. And they still had Craigslist at that time. So we are. But yeah, but below deck, I mean, it was just one of the greatest things because you

get this huge job. And I actually think some of my sons and maybe one of their girlfriends or something is going to do the show with us. We're going to go with Captain Jack this time. And Captain Jack, hello. Hello, what happened? You hung up on Jackie. Hello.

Oh, I think it's back. They Captain Jack. No, no, just he's, just he's Benz. Yeah, so Captain Jack, we have a lot of commonality because Captain Jack just lost his, That's Captain Lee. Oh, that was like,

Oh, there's a spin off with Captain Jack. Oh, Lee! I was like, ooh, there's a spin-off with Captain Jack. You got to know, girl. No, I'm so confused. Well, I'm Jack. Oh, here. Maybe I'll just bring my Captain's hat. I think it's a silly Joel song. Captain Ron. It's Captain Ron.

It's Martin. Martin. So you had Captain Lee, yeah. But anyway, so many people that are here tonight, we're so gracious and tell me that they saw me on the Below Deck show. And thank you so much. And it was one of the most amazing experiences and being there in the Mediterranean.

It was one of the finest, probably most real, and as far as people like me, in the show. What do you mean, as real as people like me in the show. What do you mean, as real as people like you on the show? Perfactor that me. Well, like not the talent, but like... Richest fuck. Remember, but what do you mean? Like it's as real as you see rich people act, you mean?

No, no, it wasn't scripted. Oh yeah, no we know, because maybe you have. Like I'm just like, the one in the eye. Yeah, but it's real, because you would think that it's like watching these shows, we all say, oh, it's fake, that's just scripted, but you're saying like no, it was straight up. Right, like with WifeSwap, they totally told us what to say.

Like they said, go in there and say that your new husband is like pissing you off and he doesn't want a wife to butt or something. And you don't, you don't. And it's like, I can't say that. I have to get pissed off at me. Our audience has never been more angry than during that wife swap.

They scripted it. And I was like, what? I felt like I totally authentic experience. Well, I didn't follow the script. They broke the rules, so. Yeah, shocker. So remember, my favorite part of Bullo Deck was when you found that butterfly.

And you're like, butterfly. Wonder butterfly. And then you just told everybody you saw for like two days. We brought a boner flower. They're like, that's great. Well, and then also on below deck, they were pissed off. Like, I only gave them a $15,000 tip. Now, that was for two days worth of work.

That's only two, right? Yeah, they make it look like a week, but it was only two days that we were on the boat. I thought $15,000 was more than sufficient for two days. And what they said on the show, I bought a butterfly ring because I'm, oh God, I can't remember her name right now. June, June, yeah, June.

Yeah, June. That's not a thought, yeah. No. But June lost her father. So we had the abandon time where we set off the balloons, the Chinese lanterns, and the Mediterranean. So I bought her a butterfly ring up in S, which is like a little like medieval mountain in in near Monaco. So what they were saying was, well, she can afford to go shopping like hundreds of thousand dollars in jewelry. I was actually buying this spring to give to

her to wear to remember our trip together, the butterfly ring. And they don't say that. You know, so I mean, you never know what to believe. There's there's always two sides to every story. Thank you so much. Yes. Okay, so who was the biggest dick on below deck? Who was it? Was it Hannah? We love Hannah. No, Hannah's been great. I love Hannah. Yeah, in the beginning, I didn't know like, you know, I tried to have this dresser out too much, but I think we worked everything out, so. That's how you should be on the hammock. Well, but I didn't dress her up. I didn't know am I supposed to be drama or no drama?

I mean, is this like a show or no show? I didn't know what I was doing. What was it like just being like trying to have like a yacht vacation with all those camera crews? It seems like it's such a small space. Well, actually, it was great in the beginning, but then I'm thinking, holy crap. Everywhere I look, there's a microphone.

You know, even like in the cab everywhere, and it's like, I was actually like very de-stressed. My vacation started the day I got off the yacht. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no lot of shit to your crew does a lot of stuff. And I've hung out with your crew a little before it. You guys don't stop. You get up at six. These girls party like maniacs. I went to the Mrs. America contest that she has in Vegas. Oh my God. You should have seen that.

So like, when did you, well, I picked a lot of footage for a lot of stuff. We get to post that. Yeah, you guys party all day, all night. And then you just went, and then you climbed all those stairs to that Island thing and you were just fine. You're like, whoa, there was a lot of stairs. Oh my It's amazing. I don't see doing this Is that when with them when the fire was going on? Yeah, that's that's a year. Yeah, okay

It was top five in the Mrs. America page out in our resort in Las Vegas and Ronnie's he has his camera guys there. All of a sudden, the alarms are going off. He vacuated the building, you know, and so I'm in the front where with my husband, and I said, Dave, I think this is like a real fire. And he says, shut up, it's top five. Oh, oh, oh.

And so I said, well, it's top five. Oh. And so I said, well, I'm saving my life because I know like, we're in the front row and the doors are back there, everyone's going out. So I grabbed the guy from the Liberace Mansion, and I said, do you want to live or die? You're C-top five. And I grabbed him because I want to live.

So he ran out with me. So he was like, what are the world is women and children? Keep them seated while we run for that back door. Yeah. Now wait, so you guys owned the Westgate Casino, correct? Yes. So that was also recently featured on the Real Housewives of Orange County.

It was, it was. It was. It was all over, all over Brava. And had I known that there was being filmed there, I would have been the hostess. I would have invited Like you know been the hostess for them and because they were up in my personal penthouse without me I didn't know they were there. They didn't know they were there. No one told me I

Yeah, I'm just assuming like okay, I guess they just use my context I don't know so you have a follow follow up to Queen of Versailles called Princess of Versailles. Tell us a little. Yes. So wherever I go in the world, I mean, I mean, even in crazy places like China or someone, everyone says they want to see more.

What's next? So I made a very raw and real documentary myself with my cell phone and I had one photographer following me around. And it's about like what happened after our daughter passed away and what we're doing now. And so it's kind of a sequel to the Queen of Versailles. And we also wrote a book,

well actually my late daughter wrote a book. She died four years ago from the drug crisis and I brought the book with me. Thank you. One for each of you. It's called Victoria's Voice and I brought you a t-shirt. Oh, thank you. Victoria, bless her heart. Thank you, babe. Oh, thank you. Oh, Victoria, bless her heart.

Thank you, babe. And in the book, it's also her personal diary. So it shows her journey through the drug epidemic. But since we've written the book, we've gotten Narcan in every police car, which if no one knows what Narcan is, it's like a, for a snake bite, it's like anti-bendom for a snake bite. Narcan is like the anti-bendom like for a drug overdose of opioids, like heroin and all that. So just in Orlando alone when I had lunch with the sheriff, we've saved over 2,000 lives. So, wow. Just in Orlando. Thank you. Yeah, that's happens. Yeah.

But we're also starting a victory club for children in middle school and high school, where if they just all they have to do, it's free to, they agreed to do a drug-free, or a testing, drug testing. Uh-huh. And then they get all these benefits in their school, like upfront parking.

They get off a school five minutes early before everyone else. And for like a five. When you're a kid, when you're a teenager, that shit is the best. Yeah, like what? I get to park closer. Yeah, and movie tickets. So so we're doing some wonderful things

that you're all here about coming up. Well, thank you so much for coming on and telling us about it. Everyone go go go buy the book. Jackie Sago we love you B.R. Okay so welcome to what happens. A podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on you Rob. I'm Ronnie that's man and today we are going to be recapping the season premiere. Real housewives of New Jersey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, This show proves that the American dream is alive and well. That something could be so terrible and so shitty and just like the worst thing you've ever seen and then next you know you're just like bound down at its altar.

I mean the American dream, were you literally complaining because one jail is not as classy as the last jail you were in? Like seriously, I must stay in the jail. Fuck this jail. So what? Who cares? I don't like this. That's what you're doing. It was better. I had a better time in the jail.

That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Well, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? You know? You know, they, uh, they, uh, they do me in the shoot. Cause I said they do me in the shoot. You know why? I tried to open a window in the thing. I took a light switch off. I took a light switch off. I took a light switch off. You know, and they do me in the shoot. And all I said is get your fucking hands off. Are you fucking know, and they took me in the shoe. And all I said is, get your fucking hands off.

Are you fucking person? And they took me in the shoe. Like, what the? What are you gonna do? You know, it's a prison. I open the window. We got to. Well, I, you know, I charge that a god tried to take its gun.

What are you gonna do to do in the shoe? I don't know. I know these guys anymore. Jo, do you guys is such a gift to me personally, because, you know, I have like, I have struggles, like, you know struggling with weight or theft, really anything that I struggle from, just seeing someone like Joe and being like, you know what, losing weight is not always all it's cracked

up to be just each of God damn french fries with your chin. Yeah, yeah, I, it was, I think we were all very quietly waiting to see Joe's transformation. And then the output, you're like, oh, really? Yeah. This is what we waited for years for. And you say I feel like you get harder once you've been to prison.

Yeah. I mean, that's like actually a thing that I would say in a bar, like I've been to prison. You know, just like to make give me something so kind of yeah He came out looking like chicken run or something like that Chicken run another Most special thing Joju NICE has ever done is chicken run. Remember when Joju NICE did chicken run. Yeah, it's a pretty funny movie I'm not gonna know why those chickens were always trying to run away, but you know, it's good

It's good. I'll put the windows so what all right, so we open with Jojo guys. Jojo guys Teresa was just in some interview being a dingbat as Teresa is you know Teresa is the best person to see in an interview Because she literally doesn't even say full sentences. She's like well, you know Should I do them the show does? I don't know, should I have the Quiddit the show but the show need me it's all about me. You know, nothing about Teresa. You know, it's of course she said that. But it is. I mean the whole show it opens with Teresa and all the lovely memories they have. Like their child's bird, their child's,

you know, first ice skating rink. Of course, they skipped a fucking christening. Like, yeah. They have used this montage of Joe and Teresa for like seven years straight. Every season opens up with like the, oh, remember the good times when they were criminals and no one knew. LAUGHTER

CHEERING CHEERING GRIP By the way, have you guys ever heard of, uh, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've had the most beautiful eye doctor I've ever seen, right? Is that how it goes? Like Sophia's lyranset.

Pretty people's is crying, and I'm real pretty. So Sophia lyranset, I was crying when I met you. Now I'm crying to forget you. So I must have forgotten a lot. So then we get a clip of Andy Garne. So Teresa. If Joe gets supported Italy, are you gonna go?

That's you think? Not probably. Andy, I have so much time to not be unhappy. So just want to be happy again. And like when we're these times of your unhappiness, you have fucking angel wings the size of toddlers on your front door, okay. You've been plenty happy, Miss.

Ronnie, you don't have no compassionate. That's what I gotta say. I'm not happy. That's what I said. So we're getting clips of the past seasons and what garbage, what garbage and what beautiful garbage it has been. Yeah. Danielle B and Joe being like, that Danielle girl, she's the toxic.

Yeah. I think these are actually clips for the upcoming season, to be honest. I know, the more things change, the more they say the same. But I think that, like, I think this is like a montage of, like, like this season on New Jersey, because there's a lot of classic marks.

And like, Javier, she's had a control with the drinking right now. She's had a control. She's just asked to. It's red in the inside of the scene. This season is basically the impossible burger version of real house-ass. It's like it's totally different.

Nope, same old little shit. Okay, that one tastes like... The other one doesn't taste like rubber at all. Good job, Burger King. But you had the worst, oh, classic march. A clip of classic march going, you, of the worst fucking mother, all right? She went from Navistate to Dasty.

That's it, that's it, that's it, that's it, Buzz. I was actually so impressed, because at one point Teresa said, if you keep hoking the bear, eventually the bear's going to eat you alive, I was like, she saw that all the way through. Ah! I was like, I thought she'd be like, if you keep poking the bear,

the bear's gonna, you know. No, no, no, no. The bear's gonna be there. I think she did a full sentence. Oh, if anyone wouldn't know what poking a bear does. And then, uh, so what? So what, excuse me.

It's a big bear. You know, I got to run the shoe because I thought it'd bring a band to jail. Some people say I'm a baby, I don't know what that means. So Teresa's, I don't think Climax's with Teresa going, Fuck you, fuck you! I can't, I can't. Because Teresa, when she's completely run out of words,

I can't, I can't. You're a terrible mother. I can't, I can't. That're a terrible mother. I can't, I can't. That's her system error. I can't. OK, so now it's three months earlier. When everything gets so seemed like a dream. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, back when Shina was going around the corners, and yelling, ah, Oh, no! No! No! No! No! So, we're with Jackie and her hot husband. God bless it. I think this shows really hard on him.

He was hotter last time. Not gonna lie. Do you guys agree? Yeah, he's had a rough off season. It's like when Obama said, like, being the president really ages you so fast, you know, and then it's true. You see Obama and he looks like a little thaw. He's like, hi, you know, it's like, I'm the president. I'm like little poster boys. I'm the president.

And by the end he's like, my aunt Lou, you know, he's like, oh, that was Dizzy Kooz. As boys, that's like the end of prom. as boys by the end of prom. That's what being on the Half-Life does for the husbands. It's me playing with the kids starting. I know. So they're like making their son, Shoga, Soda. And then, truly, maybe one of my favorite parts of the entire episode, we then go over to Paranhas, where Jennifer, newly-leipa suctioned, is trying to get into spanks.

And this thing was so dramatic. It was like, it was like, It was Taita! It was Taita! Sinti! Sinti Tyler! Sentient! Sentient, got them! Sentient! Penu-singer! It's the only rhythm that's alive that's made!

Sentient! I noticed that Jennifer basically talks like a stereotype cartoon of like a pizza guy and a cartoon. We're like, wee-sup! when she ever see her, she's like, I'm not a damn pizza pie. Do you realize that that entire Simpson routine probably happens every single morning? Okay, I'm ready. Simpson me.

Simpson me. So then we go over to find some old maybe in your lives. You don't have to send to that. Old Navy doesn't fit. They'll just send some child in from another country to loosen it up for you. Tip of a dollar, you know. We have the most beautiful old Navy in Perannis. No other city has you. I love it. Sentient. Sentient. Pink, bye-bye. I would simultaneously love and hate going into a pizzeria

that Jennifer would run. Pepp around me. But it would last longer than Joe Gorgas, so... Because... Because Jennifer has a proven track record of cooking. So there... That was an odd save. It was like a different kind of boo, but it was still a boo. I love you guys.

I know, I know. I was like, I want the... We're like, all right, we'll give him a different seat of boo. Yeah. So then we see, we go over to a gym where Frankie is working out. Frank. Under the tutelage of Frank Sr. Yeah, Frank Sr. Hey, Frankie, how many reps you can do there, Frank?

How many? I've got some more, Frank. Hey, Frankie, what kind of reps you can do? You gotta do some more, you can. I can't get you twice in a pool more, Frank. Hey, Franky, what kind of reps you can do? What kind of reps you can do? You gotta do some more. You can't get your choice. Try some of those. They're rep Frankie, huh? Thank you.

Send the lores, the lores comes out of nowhere. And just this jacket with this random like, it looked like she took a troll doll and like, applied it to the backward jacket. She has Frank, don't hurt him. He was the lores. What do you want me to do? Put him on my lap, the lores.

Put him on my lap, lores. Come in putting his books, put him on my lap, Lord. Come on. I didn't understand how that was a response, but. Like what? Everyone gets a trophy. I think he's doing that. Like what? I'm liking the crowd, my child.

Look at them. He looks at these Lord. He's going, man, Lord. You had a trophy feeling it, something. What you did, probably, preded some. Prim. All right, so then we go and actually just be boxing at this point.

Do, do, do, do. That's what I hear when I watch this show. Just a lot of, oh, you go, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, My lady comes in and she's like, Yeah. My currencies. My currencies. My lady is going to kill that entire family in their sleep. She will. No one can. She has those. She's still in $20,000 a month.

So the big news that no one really cares about, but for some reason I really did, was that Lexi had a baby. And I only cared about it because it meant that we got to hear Lexi talk. Because Lexi poured Lexi. She even went on a cast trip last year and never got to say a word. Do you remember she was in Oklahoma? She was?

I don't remember. And I love her. She was. I like her. I didn't even let her stay in that house. It's like if the Jupiter dinner theater hired people from New Jersey to be in my fair lady. Yeah. So it's like that accent, but she's like, oh, how did he be namedee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee-Bee Let me moment bring. Baron. Baron. So Marge is like, I know that most employees would allow the employees to bring good babies.

But here's what I did. I decided to go to work for myself so I could bring my babies into work. So that's what I'm doing. Yeah. Marge for president. And by the way, a lot of employers like have fucking gyms for the baby at work. So I don't know what world you're living in. Oh, Google.

Still well done. That'll be shaded on that point. like how fucking gyms for the baby it works. I don't know what world you're living in. Oh, Google. So still, well done. That'll be shaded her on that point. That was a really good one. So how very you criticize this country's role, rules on mothers. Oh. So, but apparently, Mark Sr. is much like me

and does not want to be around. Baby's is so chic with after 15 years and now I'm taking a bookkeeping job in the city so Marge senior is not around anymore just very very sad Marge senior was like I got a new face I'm fucking yeah she was like bye she got it did you see she did right did you guys see that thing on water happens live last night anyone who missed it did you see this? Oh, so So Andy Cohen asks Mark senior what her tagline would be and she's like I have two cats, but I only have one pussy And it was like well that she was ready to apart

So yeah, she's fucking in the city. I'm like all those other double pussy housewives on Ramah. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking about her

laminated eyebrows., it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Up.

So I love me some senior. I love me. So Lexi's like, have you seen behind the goals about Teresa? And then we see a headline where there's a headline that goes to Risa, Dudaise's enemy Kim D, says she knew about a cheating scandal. Her life's a lie. I just was just happy to have Kim D somehow in the mix, even in just headline form. This has a cheating group is going around about Theresa.

It's further, it's 20-something-year-old guy, I mean, it's past it all up, but she's stepping out of Joe and who could play that? I'm like, okay, so at least you're still on her side. Cause Teresa does dumb dumb, but I think, you know, beyond the side of the idiot, you know, like be friend of that idiot, okay? I mean, on this show,

you will literally get sards of blast in your eye if you don't, okay? And I like Barnes. And you know what, like, I have, I, shockingly, I have actually not been as huge to be as a fan for all these years. I've always been pretty anti-treeze.

Shockingly. But that being said, like, she deserves some hot, young ass. Like, well, let her go, hold hands with the guy. Who was the backpack? Yeah. So you're the backpack. Speaking of hot pieces of ass, let's see what Frank Jr. is doing. See the backpack. Speaking of hot pieces of ass,

let's see what Frank Jr. is doing over at the head. Yeah. Yeah. So now we go over to. And it's not right to say that about young people, you know? But he's lethal. It's also not right to look like that at that age. Like I'm gonna stick by this.

You're gonna have back problems in hemorrhoids. Your entire life. Stop it. Yeah. Stop it. It's too much. So we go over to Laura's house and the Laura's is doing like the most the Laura's thing ever. She's looking at her two dogs going, okay both of you sit. Sit. Sit. Okay now you sit. Now you sit. Okay. Now you walk into living room.

Then walk back. I tried to get out of the living room. Go to the kitchen. Then go to the tent again. Thoughts on pebble tile. walk back. Go back, try to get go to the living room, go to the kitchen, then go to the dining room. Thoughts on Peppletyle? OK. OK, walk the other way. OK. Look, I talked to the dogs attitude depression, Frank. Look at that.

I mentioned she literally turns and goes, hey, Frankie, you want to see what I talk to dogs? You talk them to sit. He's like, I don't think that's going so well, ma All right, then I'm sitting down right now like how did he get that worth it? Just spare ones do that to you I mean he's already lost there's like hey, ma look I'm working out for the thing in this series like I mean New Jersey is kind of known for having some pollution But like he really went further than everybody else.

Yeah, it's intense. So they, Frank, he's been modeling and doing like romance novel covers, which I've fully endorsed. Have you guys seen the, I know. Have you guys seen the covers of the romance novels? Don't they look like deep fakes? Like, why would you have that body? And it looks like it's a kiss body,

but then the face looks like it's cut out and then put on top of the, it's weird. It's my face. Let's face it. Let's face it. Like this real. The sad thing is that the Laura's read all the books. Yeah, it's a little creepy.

The Laura's, sorry, it just does. She's like, you know, Frankie won a fitness competition last year. You know, then someone's jerking off to his Instagram. Now we're some model. I mean, can you blame him? Look at him. It's fucking hot. Fucking do him right now.

Look at the kids hot. They're gorgeous. The most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. So then Dolores goes into the kitchen where Frank seniors hanging around. Oh, Frank, you look cute in that shirt. Dolores. I'm a 54-year-old male. I don't know.

Don't tell me I look cute. Tell me I look jacked. All right. I wonder what I'm jacked. All right, Frank, you look jacked in that shirt. You happy? She's like, all right, I know what I said last year about moving out on Frank, he looked jacked in that shirt. He happy. She was like, all right, I know what I said last year about moving out on Frank, but a surprise.

It sounded like a real baller, huh? Guess what? Didn't move out. Still a little bit fun to move out. No. Turns out we got a really good direct TV package. And I don't know. We're working on the Peppletiles.

Eventually, we'll get there, I believe that. Well, we're going to have an open house, and then Frank's pulled a bunch of pasta on the floor, and he was cleaning it up, it took forever. You're like, you know, let's just stay. We'll stay. Who gets the dustbuster? Am I right? Just stay.

Just stay. They're like, so Frankie, Jr., what are you doing? You're like, you know what? what are you doing? You know what? I'm going to do some triceps. All right, we get it. Jesus, you're hurting yourself at this point. Just stop. Say hello to your mother.

And now, because like every season there's like a new guy that has to live in the house. This season, it's the mythical David. He has finally arrived and he's also in the house. This season, it's the mythical David. He has finally arrived, and he's also in the house. This is Dolores' long-term time boyfriend. I think we have we've seen him before, like in motion. Well, let's take a look. We've seen him motorcycle in the living room. Yeah.

But yeah, we haven't actually seen him because he worked so much. So here's my theory. He probably fucked up something at the hospital. Yes. No one is ever like, oh, you know, hey, that's a theory. Don't sue me. I have nothing. No, my theory. My theory is much simpler and less like dark. It's that basically they're building him a free house. And in return, he has to be on TV.

So that's my theory. That's at the lowest primary good for man to live in Hershey. Like, sorry sorry, would destroy your house at the moment. You can't sleep there. He probably also didn't want to come on the show, because then he'd be subjected to our podcasts, where we'll just make fun of him. For doing things like walking the kitchen and kissing everyone on the left.

He was like, hi. Ah! Who's that from now? It was the mic. Ah. Don't worry. I really rattle wet and cold. I was like, what is with that? But it was like, do you guys remember that SNL thing that these two build hater and Frank Fred

Armason were there were basically like the Italian gay guys? Hey, what's going on? What's going on? Oh, he basically was doing that. I'm not saying he's gay. Yeah. He's the kisser. So they're talking about the house they're building for David. And of course, this is how Frank builds a house. I'm not saying it's gay, I'm just saying. He's a kisser.

So they're talking about the house. They're building for David. And of course, this is how Frank builds a house. This is all he cares about. He's like, hey, let's talk about the house course, right? I got the remote control for the fire police. Right. The Laura says like, you know, you know, David's been really hanging around a lot more.

You know, like we've been going out. He's been, we've been hanging out together, we went on vacation, we even went on vacation with Frankie. And then a custom random picture of Frankie going like this. What? I don't even know what we saw on Italy. I'll tell you this much. Frankie's fucking fine. All right, that's what we saw.

So Frank's like, what's this? So reverse. Now I'm sitting here alone at, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh sound. I was like, so let's go over to Joe and Melissa's house where the kids are now freely hating Melissa, which is pretty hilarious. I love when kids hit that age or they're like, FUN YUMO! Although really the Queen of that right now is Brooklyn on Dallas. So, Brooklyn on Dallas, and his daughter, she's really the Queen of that right now is Brooklyn on Dallas. Cool. Brooklyn on Dallas. Yeah. And his daughter, she's really the queen of that at the moment.

They all are. So Joe's like, look at me, I'm working. The charges, the changes, the commons are 26, right? Right. So he's working. And Melissa's like, guys, that she said there was going to put up the cabinets, Joe. I'm a working mother And he's like, well, I told you you were with one's like, I want a work, I want a work

I'm like, are we really gonna like bring this storyline back again? Melissa wants to work So Melissa has brought sushi and I There were women, no one got to do it if you got boobies, but you're still standing under the moon. So Melissa has brought sushi and I sort of got, I've never seen so much edamame in my life today. Did I notice how many edamame it was like the entire table was edamame containers. I love how we all noticed that. I thought it was just me. No. Yeah, she's like, you can have an edamame. You can have an edamame. You can have an edamame. You can't spell edamame without mom. Am I right? My new t-shirt. Buy that at ND.

So she's like, I was in New York picking up stuff at the NV. And he's like, yeah, like a champ, like an idiot to think she's up in that boots. That's what you was doing. And it's like, guys, did you know that your mother had a job at 14 years old? And the kid goes, oh, wow, cool, you. Yeah. If I started the boardwalk, I'd be like, oh, get away.

Loser. Loser. It's like, I did. I worked on the boardwalk. I was like, okay, the story needs to stop right now. We all know what said I worked on the boardwalk. I was like okay the story needs to stop right now. Yeah We all know what you were doing on the boardwalk. Yeah, we've met Kim D. Matt. Yes, we know this story clink clink clink clink

So so molasses running for the soon, which is exciting Yeah, I mean yeah yeah, you know, good for you. So, do you already have that already? You know when you're a kid, you fix sagging and wrinkles, but now that I'm here, you know, the struggle is my kid. I'm like, what? No, the struggle is not that your kids are older. Your husband was leaving black marks from the spray hair. Okay, like, number 10, you don't know when it's like age.

Ma'am Southern their kids Gina's like by loses As they crawl out of a pile of edamame shells So so that I'm talking about Joju dies and stuff and you know Joe is Joe judai I'm Joe Gorega so many Joe's in the show, I was forgetting. Joe Gorgah is like talking about these rumors that Teresa is stepping out with like a younger man. And he's like, I don't understand.

They're friends, you know? And Melissa's like, basically Melissa is sort of like like searching for information because Joe is like, well, I asked my sister and she says they're just friends. You go, well, friends it is. Oh. Look at this. Teresa's like the worst liar in the world.

They're like Teresa. Teresa, you guys spotted in an airport with her finger up on 20-year-old's butt hole. She's like, please just friends, Andy. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Everyone's like, it's just brand-sandy. Ha, na-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya- at the same time mentioning that she's fucking some 25-year-old on the side. Yeah. Well, she says they're just pretty good at this gaming. And as a good sister-in-law, I will have to just go at what she says,

because I am loyal to Theresa. You know. You got that on camera, right? Thank you. So then we go to commercial, which is significant because we got to see a commercial for last Christmas, which is basically just March, having a lady boner over 100 gold ink. The guy from Crazy Rich Asians, okay. The guy is very cute, but can we stop pretending that this guy is like full of sex appeal? This is how he is in everything. You know, but you know this is how he is in everything.

He's like, well, hello. Hello. Can't see meeting you here. I can't wait to introduce you to my mother who loves my song. And then all the actors in the movie are like, oh my god, it's so sexy. I think he's sexy.

I just was like, hello. actors in the movie are like oh my god I think he's sexy I do Um, so it's be will there be anything sexier than a very polite man who wants to introduce you to his mother. I don't think so So Mark seniors like oh my god Henry go. Yeah, I can't wait to see this newbie. I don't care that today This is in it. I just want Henry goding and he just spent the the entire time just like literally every shot in the commercials were just like falling out of I thought I'm fucking my senior and I will be like tagging Henry Gilding crazy he's rich he's aged I'd fuck him classic but So then we get my favorite theme in real house vibes and New Jersey music, why is the horny dingy music? It's like, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing So we're at Jennifer's house and the whole family has gathered together for this big meal and

Olivia, I think that something happened in the offseason. I think there may have been some like coaching or like lobotomizing. I think what happened I think what happened is Olivia is percouched. She's smart and I think that she read the internet and was like I'm horrified It happens in a regular housewives, right? Working like, oh my God, I'm the villain, how am I the villain? I'm going to change everything. And then she basically came here to grammar herself. Because last season she was like, give me a car from Amazon

Brian. Mother. And this season she's like, how can I help, mother? I'm the princess in the world. And then I'm like, is that makeup just sex? It's sex is old enough. She's like, sex is old enough, mother. She's like, little pink eyeshadow. So everyone's cooking. It looks amazing.

It's all this like Turkish food. It looks just amazing. The whole family is there, sisters, and the soon-to-be husband, brother, is there too. And I loved it. I know I loved was Jennifer's dad showed up. And he was like this cute old man with a cane and he looked like he was in like a Pulitzer Prize winning play. You know?

Something about Leeds falling in the fall, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And Jennifer, the other person he went to this house-wise transformation was not Jennifer. She's still a fucking asshole. Thank God. Thank God.

Because I just love what an asshole she is, but I'm Bill Total house-wise discrimination, so she's like you know built making an effort and he's more romantic Like he called me in the middle of the day and he said honey, you're stupid your boat. Oh That's really romantic. That's really romantic. It's really romantic. Yeah, and he pointed out that I had a lump of that on my back, and then he sucked it out.

Yeah, and because like last season when Bill walked home, he'd be like, Huh, guys. But this time he was like, Yeah. He had this time, he's like, Daddy's on my early! Mmm, I finished early, it's time to have fun! Foot loops and fancy frames!

I'm gonna go change into something comfortable, don't mind me. Mmm! Hey, Jenny, Jen, Jen! Want some more Botox tomorrow. Oh, they're waiting for that. We may have to do a little earlier, so I have time to watch Sports Ball. So they're eating and Olivia is like, Mother, have I told you they eat it? It's food is divine. This family is really doing great so far.

I was so proud of her. I was like someone gave her a note and she took it. Yeah, she did. Melania never did that. Melania, she would so be sitting in salads, that she could. She had the best, like, you don't need to note babe. Really, man. So Jennifer tells us that Bill's practice is celebrating

it's five years. And we're gonna to do something called the Patient Appreciation Party, like the path. I don't know, I'll be brand that. We have a deal. He makes the money and I put the parties. Yeah. Have you noticed that Jen does that when she talks?

She's always like modeling for the camera. Yeah. And then a party. And then she sits back and smiles like she just did it really well. I spend the money. And Olivia is like, are kids a loud mother? No? That's so not fair, baby. I don't know what you're auditioning for, but here's the role.

Yes, Olivia gets it. Most improved Olivia. She did it. The new housewife, Olivia and her pink eyeshadow. So then we go over to Teresa's house. We're all the daughters of there. No, no. But um, I, I, I, you see, no, no, and you know, we're Gorgia gets those eyes. It's just like, I was terrified. No, no, poor thing. I thought, at this moment, so when the scene started, I actually thought really bad for Gina from Orange County because the scene actually opens up with Teresa slicing carrots on a plate

that says cheese. And I just know her mind was like, what? What? What? There's carrots on the plate that says cheese. Is that like putting like a non antique in a box that says antiques? Take white, you put the garden shovel in there. So trees are like, well you're my turn, Dan. Alright, can you knock it in all over the floor? There's too many cooks in the kitchen. I was like, whoa, Teresa has been educated.

Like, cook faces. These are jail works. She's got a couple of phrases that she's made it through so far this episode that old Teresa wouldn't have made it through those. Yeah. There's too many cooks, kitchen, me, blogs. Ah.

That's how many cuts in the, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you know, you know, you know. She's a bitch. So she's like, Oh, we can cook again. I don't know.

I like to drink wine while I was cut. And he's like, oh, we can't hug again, I don't want it about him. Yeah, I have some more wine now, no. They're like, what did he say? And she is like, he said, that's why you don't know what you're doing. I was like, I don't think that's even what he said. Yeah, Rukka, you get that. So, Jiya is, she could be going to Rutgers, New Jersey.

I don't know, it's not Rutgers. It's Rutgers. Rutgers. Rutgers. Rutgers. Going to Rutgers, New Jersey. Oh, no, it's not Rutgers. It's Rutgers. Rutgers. Rutgers. Rutgers. I'm going to Rutgers. Rutgers. Rutgers.

She's staying nearby in case Joe winds up coming to home. Who cares? There's telephones. Why would you stay close to home for that? Like, wait, you're going to come watch Joe sit in an easy chair? Who's going to the fuck do you think is gonna happen? Call them from college. Yeah.

But Gia wants to actually be a lawyer, ultimately it sounds like she's talking about law school and stuff. And she basically, and she wants to be a lawyer, but actually Melania wanted to be a lawyer too. Which is the forgotten verse of her hit song. I can't wait to grow up and be a lawyer. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I can't wait to grow up and help you escape. Bala, root mama, that ain't easy, but she's signed anyway. I can't wait to take the LSAT. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. She just said she loves Ronnie. So she is like, since when do you want to be a lawyer? And she's like, because it makes me so mad that our dads in jail. I was like, oh, that's sad.

I'm not going to feel bad. I reduced him. Wow. Like your dads in jail, you could be a cigarette roller. That would help him more at this point. You know what I mean? The water's built. Maybe it'll motivate you to be a law-abiding citizen.

How about that? How about that? That's where I think it is. And Melania's like, it makes me so mad that our dad's in jail. And she is like, yeah, but he's fighting the battle. So she is like 27 now. I don't know how old she is. Yeah, she's matured first.

So mature, you know, and she's always like, she's being interviewed like a boxer, cross with like, well, you know, he's working through it. He's going through the process. And Teresa's like, well, you know, he was born in Italy and like, he had an alien time, was like an alien time, but then he ended up life as a citizen, and then one of the people that he went on, then he an alien, I'm an alien time, I'm a living in a life of a citizen, and then

when I'm an alien, I'm then he's gay, but now I know and I'm so he's kinda dumb, it's like It's like Teresa, oh my god. Can you just let GX explain it? Because my head literally hurts. So Gia Basley told Joe that if he, like, if he gives up on ice, by the way, if people are talking, feel free to tell them to be quiet. This happens a lot in our show, so feel free to talk. Sure, feel bad about it.

So, Gia, I don't know what the fuck with this. I'm like on a boat. Who'd be in the mic stand up and down. So basically, Gia, what I loved with that, Jia basically told Joe, like, listen, just spend like three more months in ICE and stop opening windows. And then you can have a relationship with me. Otherwise, we're never gonna see you again, you know?

But of course, he didn't. And Jia says the thing that no one on this show has had the balls to say. She basically, like, you know what my dad should've gotten his citizenship a long time ago, and I don't know why he did. It's a good for you, Gia. And she's like, this is the one time,

and this is the time in his life for our father to show us that he loves us enough to just stay in this fucking detention center until it's time to get out, you know? Yeah, which is so sad, because we know how that ended. I ain't fucking staying in here, fuck this place, what the fuck, they don? Yeah, which is so sad, because we know how that ended. I'm fucking saying in here, fuck this place, what the fuck?

They don't even got an ex-dition in here. Yeah, I'm sure. They tried to play Batchyball, they put me in a suit. Ha, ha, ha, ha, fuck. I tried to play Thor, how am I gonna go out there? That's what I mean to shoot.

Yeah, I'm still your daddy, I'm your face son, daddy. I'll write a C on face tonight, bye. So, which is kind of his interview, if you saw it. Uh, Andy's like, aren't you worried you aren't going to be a good dad anymore now, and you're in Italy? He's like, what, this face time?

I got text. I got text. Come here. Yeah. Have fun texting your daughter to school. Did you notice it, Teresa said? Yeah, you know, he's stuck in dad. You know what the ice is.

I was like, yeah, you know, he's stuck in there, you know, on the ISIS. I was like, mm. That would actually end. No, no, no. That would end in ISIS. If Joe became part of ISIS, they'd be like, ah, guys, I think we should hang up. This is done. This is done. They're like, it's officially time to rebrand.

So, what do you guys have to worry about? Guys, we had a good run. A fucking American tried to open a window in here. And you believe that shit? We've got it tightened up. Our membership. Open up the window in ISIS. Their secret bunker, the Discover Kit, Joe Judis, is like,

Hey, he has a plane over there. Hey, wait for the plane. Like, every plot is boiled, because Joe's just opening a window. Like, hey wait a minute, dude, the guy back there opening a window. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's and be missing all these things, like going to the prom and going graduation, going to college.

Miles Stombs. It was like who fucking implanted you with knowledge? It's not up to resumper, it can be used. I'm a lot of it. Like, just like going through something and like, no one cares. I'm a lot of you, I'm a lot of you. I'm a lot of you, I'm a new fill in co-host.

No one gives a fuck, dude, man. So it's just like, I don't know why you're being irrational. But who are you talking like that? Like, because if you look graduating and moving on to a new chapter of your life, it's like, okay, okay, okay, because she's like mini-dose. She's like, okay, okay, I don't have to sit here for this. It's both your luck, yeah. She has a relationship. She has a great bitch. to see him for this. It's both of that. Yeah. Just like, I think he has seen a degree that

Jesus, yeah, now GSR is coming down in Gabriela, like the nicest, like most innocent person in this family who's never said a thing in 10 years. Gabriela is just sitting there like just trying to eat her cereal. She is like, you know, you're lucky.

You're lucky because you'll have a dad here. I won't for my prom. Gabrielle's just like, please admit it this far without being in a scene. Please, go away. I'm a lot of these. He's like, I'm done here, bitch. Please. I'm a Gabrielle.

It's like, can I leave too? No, no, no, just I was going, AAAAAAA promiscor now. I can only answer! That was so sad when you said that. Like the only monster who will attack No No just for fun. Welcome to our show. So we then go over to Aiden plastic surgery, where apparently Bill has like crafted Jennifer's sister into Jennifer because it was like, I'll say that Jennifer

is the assistant, it's not. It's like, she looks just like Jennifer and turns out it's the sister and this obviously clearly won mine because I'm like talking about it so much. But they looked exactly the same. And you could tell that Bill got off on that. He's like, mm.

Oh. He's making his little Jennifer army. I don't know about that. Little Jennifer army. She's like Jennifer, but without like, free surgery every 10 minutes. You know what I mean? a little Jennifer army. I don't know about that. Little Jennifer army. No. She's like Jennifer, but without like free surgery every 10 minutes, you know what I mean? Like she's like, has a normal,

and I don't mean that to everyone's like, how rude, I don't mean it in a bad way. It's just like, I don't know, like this day's compared to you, you know, but yeah, it's like a smart Jennifer. She's like, should I call people for you or you know, make calendar appointments? He's like, mm-hmm. Whatever you're doing, sounds good.

Keep doing that. So Jennifer tells us, my husband's a gem. He goes out of his way to Canada to his family. No, what the man would do that. I was like, I think most parents go out of the way to get her. My sister's a loser and has no money to put her job is basically what she said. She's like, come on, I was Jennifer. So then the sister has gotten her pin and she cut out a picture of Bill. It's of Bill. It's not just, wait, it's Bill, right?

That she cut out. So she then cut this out the face. She cut all the way down, like a three quarter solder or whatever. And it's like this. And then she taped it on top of the pen like this. So you write, and it's like this big of just Bill. And she's like, I thought that should be made into a pen.

I mean, what a good picture. And I was like, oh oh I was back in my chair I'm like, don't make don't make pens with Bill, Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill pens. How she's flirting, cutting pictures, out and taking them on here. Yeah, the pan is lighter than a sword. Yeah, you don't do that. The pan is lighter than a sword. Fine, fine. So they're having a party and Jens making sure that they have the sculpt machine and feels like,

oh yeah, it's like doing 20,000 suit ups. I know how much you love suit ups, instead of hardy. They can transform a regular bell into a hot sculpted, I know how much you love Siddharth, Stradivating. They can transform a regular belly into a hot sculpted, and a Johnis belly. Woo! We call it the Frankie, I mean the, hand me that pen, would you, baby?

So Jennifer is like, I look good. Next just times it's one made of these, Ray. Free plastic surgeries another. Since May. So now we get the first like real scandal of the episode, which is that Jackie is mad at Jennifer and cancel the play date between Olivia M's Jackie's daughter. I don't know Jackie's daughter's name.

I don't know, it's too many. She's been too normal. She hasn't been committed to my memory. Yeah, she's a nice child, too, goes to school and is nice for her mother. Like, I have no time for you. I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't know you. The fuck outta here. You're on the wrong show, kid. Yeah. And of course,

Jennifer's made this so dramatic. It's one thing to punish me. But it's another to punish the children. I'm like, just buy or another like, castle off of Amazon. It will be fine. So then we cut to dinner with Melissa, Marge, and Jackie, and Marge is like, today, I called, and you remember today, when we were going to talk, and you said to kids who had to play. Like they're citing it up as they do on the show. And Jackie's like, yeah, they were in half-suffent grad-os. And then they showed a picture of the kids as Hansel and Gretel. And I was like, are they they home schooled? Because how many people are in that play? It's like, Hansel and Gretel.

That's a wish. There's, yeah, there's like a wish. I would have been one of the crumbs. I would have been one of the crumbs I guess even. Because that was, when I was middle school, I was the one they invent. I was like a tree. I was a stone. I was, wait, I have to tell us, okay, I'm sorry, I have to tell you. I was just thinking about the time when a

child played a tree. And it's so called Mingli in the Magic Tree and I played Mingli, of course. Well, I was important to the point. I was in the kindergarten production of Snow White in the Seven Dwarves, and I was cast as a tree, one of many trees. We together collectively with the woods. And I was, so it's kindergarten, and so like, there are a bunch of boy trees and a bunch of girl trees. And it was a scene where Snow White

was like, bash the woods. And Snow White has to go running to the trees. And our teacher said, as a tree we could either like be like oh ha ha ha be a scary tree or be a supportive tree and be like runs Snow White run. So all the boys of course were like all the boys were like fuck you. You're all like okay wrong be like wah ha ha and of course all of those like runs Snow White. So that was like the deal. So we it's like fuck you! You're all like, okay, bro, I'd be like, booh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha So I was the crazy ass tree in the woods. I was surprised they didn't try to match the map. I was a living out. How the mothers are mortified.

Their mother was never invited to another event together. From that day forward, I was never cast as a lead. Okay. Wow. That's when I, nice treat. That was a big one. So they do so small talk and then, well, God, I have to say.

So Mark is like, what about that hungry right? Melissa is like, but you look great. Did you get new boots, Jackie? And Jackie's like, now that's just, that's the gather. And Mark's got, speaking of tits. That's a good trip. Jennifer's having that party. Jennifer's having that party. That's tits.

No, tits lift up. That's what I said. I was thinking, speaking of tits, I was saying it, because we all have tits, I kind of bet. We all have to put the tits lifts. That's what I said, a classic barge. Sorry, I had to explain it to you girls, but you know, I don't show driven so.

So Jack is not sure if she's going to the party and then it like a custard Jennifer going she can't take a joke That's the number one sign that you did something really bad. Yeah, so you know the other night I mean that was Teresa and her friends you know the 25 year old hot men with shaped backs and spray tans He said her friends, you know, the 25 year old hot men with shaved backs and spray tams. Well, Teresa was video taping, and you know how I do impersonation? No, no, I do not know how you do impersonation. I didn't know that.

I didn't know that. No, I didn't know that. I know you like to dance the house music in Oklahoma, but other than that. So I can hear Bill, you look at the instance, see what you think. So then we cut back, and Jack is like, well, Theresa said, make fun of Jackie. And then she pretends to do this.

And then we see the video. And Theresa's like, haoyne, Stalker. Defoyne, Stalker. Miss Mary Young, Web staff, he's defoyne, Stalker. It's like not an invitation at all. She's just like reading the lines. I honestly was laughing. I'm sorry.

I was. I'm not even a GenPan. I'm on Team Jackie, but I didn't actually think it was that. The thing, right? No, I mean, love's gone this show. actually think it was that. The thing, right? No, I mean, love's gone this show. It's not that bad. I don't mean people have had each other thrown a prison on this show.

That's true. That's true. Really, there needs to be like a different scale we judge on. So Bill's like, ooh, you should go to find it a done. I mean, that's a lot. That's nothing. And she's like, yeah, she said, look, let me be to her test. It says, please remember, cyberbull-bullying is not okay at any a

Well she's supposed to do it no one is gonna drive these days to go bully somebody do it on your fucking phone That's Westie made them me And meanwhile Marge to McDonald's anymore fuck you all bully you with technology. Thank you And then Marge meanwhile at, at the restaurant saying, well, you know, she's probably so drunk, she doesn't seem to remember it. Which I was like, oh, that's clever.

Bring, like, I was like, I almost forgot that Jennifer had a dream problem. So Marge is like, okay, we're gonna like, bring this back, we'll just not have a dream problem, but Marge is gonna like push that. Which I was like, okay, that's clever. Yeah, that's boarded. So Jackie just knows that Teresa hates her and she's like you know she's

got Jennifer kissing her ass and then she's just trying to get at me by putting this on her Instagram with millions of followers which is totally correct of course I mean you can't even argue it you hear Teresa going. Not like a deep mystery here. And so Bill is like, hmm, well, I don't know. Personally, I think it's worse to criticize your parenting in a local newspaper. Hmm. I'm like, she didn't criticize your parenting.

Yeah. I got really, I got really mad. Yeah. Yeah. So Mar is talking about Teresa's, like, why would she put that negative energy out there? I mean, with all that press out there about her, I mean, the cheating group is, the being with some guy, some young guy, who wears a backpack though, last. A backpack, no less.

I know I love some Marge, but, bitch, you left your husband for the fucking construction worker at your house Are you really gonna climb up and get on a pedestal right now? And then Melissa's like, but guys He's her friend. Did you get me down camera saying that their friends? I am defending my sister-in-law right now my sister-in-law right now. Well, I have a life that takes her a reason. A friend, if it's not a friend. A friend. I will be insulted. A friend.

You lied to Mr. Sister-in-law. I'm not comfortable with the way this conversation is going about my sister-in-law, otherwise known as family. Yeah. So Jack is like, all right, I respect that. Oh, wait, look, I got a text back. It was supposed to be like, how did it be funny? I didn't think you would take it personal, but I'm fine that. Oh wait, look, I got a text back. It was supposed to be like, hard, I didn't think you would take it personal,

but I'm fine with ever. My child is wearing mascara. Could you please come and meet me? Let's check fuck her. Look how dare she. So, um, Teresa's house. Tine zone, Tine zone. It's two days before the ice delivery. Tine zone. Yeah, by the way, biggest mistake in Teresa's life is that she shows JoJo. It's two days before the ice delivery Yeah, by the way Biggest mistake into Reese's life is that she shows Joe do you guys over this guy? Let's go. It's hot

Hello, she's obviously fucking the pool guy, right? So the pool guys Like not even hiding it Those pools don't pay for themselves Yeah, I ain't that the true even a new purple doesn't pay for itself. Like you all everyone ships in So, um, yeah, so it's like three days before the transfer to high she's flirting with this guy named all right everybody Call me. What did you say Ronnie that agitated every while I look at my get Ronnie after this? That's it. We're gonna tell him off after All right, let's have a little

Snowball there we are at Lewis snowball all right back at Jackie you see Jackie what you give you get back She just threw it at a bull at a bowl of macaroni and cheese Jackie retaliates with like a chicken wing in my face Okay, so the past three years, okay, so Teresa's like, the past three years, did I've been paying for restoration hotwares, but now I'm done paying for it, and my kids want to pull. It doesn't take it away, but I want to fill up the voices.

I'm like, oh. Is it too early to say you're failing as a parent? Yeah. Or too late. So Dolores calls with the most Dolores phone call. She's like, hello, Teresa. What are you doing? I want to tell you something.

I'm right down the street from you. And with Dolores, that could mean what she had to say. I got to tell you something. I'm down the street. Theresa, a question. What ever happened to VCRs? Anyway, call me back, we have a chance. Let's see.

Let's see. Have you ever turned on a TV with one remote but then the other TV turns on? Why do we need so many remotes? Why can't you just turn it off? OK, I don't like it. You sit on the couch. That's nice.

That's nice. I get it. So, we have a consumer report show. You need to lorse. We've used technology for the 80s. So, the lorse comes over because she was literally like in the driveway. I don't know how this happened.

But she's like, I'm right down the street. Hyde Surrey says, I mean, to lorse. I was just right down the street. Hyde Surrey says, me and Dolores. I was just right down the street. So she's like, is Nick cold out here? And Tony's like, oh, yeah, cold. So Tony, it's such a man. Take up your shirt.

So then Dolores gives up her spot. She's not cold. She should take up your shirt. Sorry. Yeah, you're not cold. Let me see those nipples. Let's see for a short Tony. So to Laura, she's like, oh, Tony.

Yeah, I remember you when you were 17, you were stepping Theresa behind the, you know, behind the bus hit prom. I remember that. I remember that. I remember. You get to see what you're taking your pants, Tony. So then they go into the kitchen. Gia starts talking about like going to

wreck us and being nearby in case Joe gets out of ice and comes home again and Dolores just goes typical Gia typical Gia typical Gia you want to fuck my son? So Dolores tells us the backstory of Tony, which is really interesting. She's like, well, you know, Teresa was 17 years old. She was with this guy, Tony. I mean, who look at him? I mean, Jesus Christ, close your eyes. I haven't breathed in your neck.

He's almost a Frankie. I mean, he's that hot. So, you know, she's with this guy. She's stupid. I mean, she's loving it. But it didn't work out because Joe was not gonna let her Mary somebody else. I mean what the hell like we just saw Teresa's alternate life flash before our eyes, you know Dude, don't fucking Joe dude eyes ruined everything. She could have been with bull guy Tony. She could have been

It's like sliding doors, you know, remember that movie sliding doors sliding pizza rear doors so You know, remember that movie's sliding doors? Sliding pizza rea doors. So, um, wow. So the girls, the lowest base, so they're inside, and they're talking about like Jo being in ice, whatever. And this is, again, there's a- I did. When they still think that there's like, oh, and the lowest is basically like, if my daughter came to me

and said that you have to fight I would do whatever it takes You know and Teresa goes well, I just I feel bad because now he's he's free But he's being held and show is he's being held and he's he's free He's been you know, he's held and it's hot. I was like oh Teresa. You're doing so well. That's episode Yeah, she was doing well. Yeah So she's like yeah,, well, when I went to jail, I think, I have my freedom taken away from me. I was like, that's how Joe works.

Like, that's literally, I have. When I went to the showers, I got cleaned it in. It's a gallery, and I has showers work, you know. Okay. So now Dolores says, oh, you know what? I actually will take the others free drinks. I'm so sorry to get my two telling.

Thank you for that, you guys. Sorry for those at home. We're getting drinks. So the crowd's calling. Thank you. I put the snowballs down, but there's the packaging. Thank you. I'm here.

I'm here. Oh, god. For those listening at home, I almost gave us $10,000. I almost married Chito to Chucho, Chudai. It's about various things. So the big thing that happened is that the loris was hanging out with Marge earlier. And Marge told the loris was hanging out with March earlier and March told the loris What we didn't say was that at that dinner when they're talking about his research eating whatever Jackie said at that because it's not because it's not so now the loris

So March now tells the loris the Jackie said a duck is a duck is a duck and now the loris are telling Teresa Having trouble following that And now Dolores is telling Teresa. He's having trouble following them. You know, I'm back at that. I'm back at that. Why? It's a... wait, hold on. It's a...

That. Alright, that gets it, that. If it walks like a duck, it's a talk like a duck. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. What if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck,

and looks like a duck, but... What if it's not duck? It's not Teresa. Blink't know what you're saying. Blink. So actually, her real response was, fuck Jackie. Yeah. So then this is how it works, Jim Jersey,

especially on this show. But the Laura says, like, Teresa wouldn't fuck at 25-year-olds. All right. She's married. And you know, you run the risk of your kids finding out, and they'd be devastated and gets what? If Teresa says she's not fucking a 25-year-old and ruining a children's life, she's not.

Yeah. You know what, I also devastates your children's life, breaking the lawn going to jail. No! No! No! No! But what a boring way to save children. Am I right?

Yeah. But wow, it makes them interesting. Yes. Teacher children to feed themselves so I can lift my guy down wise. Okay. So, um, I'm not like a duck. Sorry, it's like we're still on the duck. I got one. Well, the trees are still to this day trying to figure that out. Yeah.

Back is a duck. What is it again? Ah. It's like this. So Trees like, oh yeah, what about Melissa? What Melissa said? Because she was there, right? Melissa was there, right?

What Melissa said about it then, huh? What Melissa said? Like, Trees is always ready to go for Melissa, right? And say, I hold Melissa said, I'm straight. Thank you, Mark. Thank you, Mark. Thank you for relying on domestic. Because that's what friends do.

Relive messages. They rely on. Relive messages. They rely on. One day before Trump's, who I see is, bulldo-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally-dally- They're like, I know, Jen and Bill's. I have to search for you, party. Yeah, so now it's the patient party and Jennifer and Bill are walking around. And there's an Aiden teeny there. I'm sorry, I am strictly pump teeny.

Oh, what? Aiden teeny. I would hate and teeny. And it was all blue and like super white. Yeah. Who if that was a grocery. And she's like, my, my bro is a doctor's wife. It's to be the face of the company.

Yeah. It's a lot of face. Like she literally said that. And she's like, I don't want to be one of those doctor's wives. Did it like? Yes. I want to be like this. No, you definitely don't wanna be like that.

Damn girl, it's hard to turn back the clock. So then, Melissa's like, you know, I heard you sucked a fat out, Bill. And he's like, no, no, it's not about two. It's just her back fat. Look, this hurts when I do this. Oh, check out. Oh, Bill. I like it so right just her back fat. Look, this hurts when I do this. Like it's her right on her back. Like been out her butt.

You could touch this fat ass all day long. Am I right? My fellows men. So we cut ever into Marge's house where Marlini is dusting plaster turtles on the wall. Yes, better of me. She's doing it like she's like, is it great? Oh, to Kim Richards. When she decided to kill Marge or in the last. So she could watch her lose everybody that she ever loved. So Marge is talking to Jackie about going to this party.

And Jackie's like, even though I'm talking, even though I'm not talking to the house, why should I send it home if you haven't found? Obviously, I've got a drink I feel, and I'll go drink alcohol, you know, third. So then back, Melissa is still trying to start to sit everywhere she goes, right? Yeah.

And she's like, you know, you know, Jackie is very insulted, and I mean, if you were sitting around mocking me, I would have called you like this in bitch. And she's like, she's got a nutkin' thing, stop her, don't know. Oh. And then my other favorite part of the episode was then Melissa saying, okay, Melissa goes, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go get some food and Bill just goes, enjoy!

And yes, I realized that my Bill and my Lou Ann are very close and I don't care. But so I build a new head. My love, Gabri! My love, Gabri, it's you! I love that one. I love that one too. Woo! So that's the way we found our bell and breath station. Our remember we were like, yes, it's kind of like, like you always just touching his own nipples. Like, what's...

But, what you basically... Yeah, you basically do Luan touch your own nipples. Like, hi, I'm the one doing steps and then you go, I'm the one doing... Luan Luan. I literally gave myself headlights. I'm fucking alive. I feel like there's like a Frankie joke in here somewhere, but I don't really know what it is. It's a wetsuit. A Frankie joke. Frankie, oh, not Frankie.

The wars. You literally gave me headlights right now. It's a wars. What's wrong with you? War. War. I'm a 54 year old man. I don't want to be torn on a headlight. I want to be torn on a headlight. I've got a fender.

You know what I'm saying? Wars. All right. I don't know what's happening I got headlights or I'm being told I got a fender you know saying course All right, I don't know what's happening any no, I'm at this point. We're just touching our chest So I'm like we've already done all this by so this is what this is what it qualifies as like small talk in Jersey Dolores, we have to Jennifer and saying so is this your first LIPO and Belga so Teresa is so Teresa hi I take my jacket and have a drink over there I'm the trauma some life is notilt, give me a drink over there. I'm gonna put some lime to sell it.

He's a fucking plastic surgeon running this entire party. Teresa's just like, yeah. They care that for me. Oh yeah. So Teresa's like, yeah, there's a head, they said call me and tell me Jack he's finding him out about me. Said, and I get both gonna hear from me Like a parole's over Teresa's back. Yep

So that so margin Jackie walk in and Jackie is like already had an in mind like I'm gonna fight tonight So the way that works out is she walks and then she just stands there like this Oh, we have we have two ladies here who are wearing t-shirts that are This is my condescending smirk. I actually See does walk in there like that, but she's also terrified Jackie's also terrified That was also the look that I would give at any school dance and sixth grade Not to delve too far into my past yet again, but every school dance this I could tell I was a little capable I because I walk in there like I want someone to ask me to dance.

True story. Really? I could have seen that because I was out in the parking lot looking in the window, breathing into it like... The riding with my fingers, fuck you. No, I was literally standing there, winning for a girl to ask me the dance Yes, my out works For someone to answer me

So Jackie is standing there like she's trying to be badass, but she's also like kind of scared, you know And she's like I don't have the patience for Jennifer's fake bullshit. If you're not gonna apologize, shut the fuck up. And I was like, oh, thank God these two are still gonna come into their second season fighting horrifically over. This is flowering. Holy blue. I love it.

They're really gonna lean into it. And Teresa is, so Teresa's pissed off about the duck at the duck at the duck thing. So, because Jackie's like, and Teresa's like, hi, hi, hi. Hi. And even Dolores is like, oh man, I've known Teresa a long time back when she was banging an actual hot guy, Tony. This is not a good voice you want to hear from her, okay? That doesn't sound good. So Bill's like from her, okay? Not it doesn't sounds good

So Bill's like, hmm, Jennifer, I'm gonna get you to do some speeches So they go up and get their speech and she's like I'm rich at Thank you for your money Bill. You want to say something? So he's like, please enjoy it and teeny. After it was returned, the Barbara way up and dance the night away. I wish I could just say the why I'm see So then Marge is talking to Teresa she is she is I hear did a dear got into Rutgers

Rutgers the college my you know Rutgers Rutgers Rutgers Rutgers Rutgers Like us all you think I think that closing down like is no Rutgers not Rutgers Ruckus? Ruckus? Ruckus? Ruckus? Ruckus? Ruckus? Ruckus? Ruckus? I think that closing down, Ruckus. No, Ruckus, not Ruckus. I hear your kid is going to be going to what? She's the five-month-of-fucker. It's Lizzie Trucker. Don't you miss? I miss Lizzie Trucker. I know I do too. You got to get a Lizzie Trucker in there when you can't these days, guys. She still is a fine mother parker even though she's not She even though she's not of the patreon thing anymore, so

I'm not even shading right I'm not I'm not Erase race So yeah, they're talking about Rutgers and treat like she wants to me Okay, Tariya, we've heard it so Marge is like I'm so glad we could work for each each other you know I don't all that stuff that happens because of dad yeah that's the only reason I think happened between that and to be influenced yeah more clips of Daniel stop and then Teresa's like you know I've been real emotional every time time I see you, I'm in real emotional.

Teresa, come back, I'm out of the witness space. I am Jack, he's running a mountain about me. She doesn't like when people run a mountain about her. Mount Teresa. So Marge is like, yeah, like that video the other night because that video came across is very It was a mean video. It was it was it was very mean. It was so mean. It was like it was like Billy mean is not my lover. That was for you Joan. That was for you Joan

That part of the show we're just saying things now. Just saying. Oh! I can't sit out of my left eye anymore. Then just take a snowball to the head. I... I... I... I... I may have a mild concussion now. Uh... And... Ben, here I am, I shan't a bador. Yes, kill him by the way of a...

Florida snowball. Florida snowball, friend! I'm the queen of her side. I... I can't even see... David's nude photos to my blurred vision anymore. What are you crying about? You're stupid. I didn't know you were going. So Teresa is like, oh, you're not on her side.

I know you're on her side now to use my hand up on her side. Yeah, I know your heart's on now. I'm going to use my heart so hard. And Marjit's like, it's not about sides. You know, it's just that your brook is correct. That would be what we'd say about it. Yeah. So Jackie and Jen started talking to Cleary the Air or in Jennifer's like, I'm really glad you came

to see how rich I am. I appreciate that. But you went a little crazy. You went crazy. You'd like little crazy, you went crazy, you'd like, go offended, you know, whatever. And basically, Jenna's basically saying, you know what, like, you were really mad that I got a little offended at your article,

which was a lie, you did not get a little offended. I don't know what I meant, I did. How dare you knock my mother away. Yeah, Jennifer gave her like a passive aggressive gift from Jirky, okay, that's like a pass of aggressive gift from Turkey. Okay, that's like, that's like a whole thing. Yeah, Jen had her tongue out that entire fight. She would get so mad that she would have to head to hell.

And her tongue would just like, like rest on her bottom left. And so Jackie basically tells Jen that she thinks that Jen was doing that impersonation to become better friends with Dolores and Theresa and Impresson, which is totally true, you know? I love her, man. These fights, these two fight about the dumbest things. Why did you suck that, and I said I better than you. And the deck is like, hold on, I have to finish. I have to swallow first. Okay, now have to finish. I have to swallow first. Okay, now I'm done. Look, oh, you're a real crystal and what's her bones from Dynasty? Crystal and what? Crystal, Alexa.

So Jennifer's like, listen, this is just what I do. I do impersonations, okay? You've seen me, you've seen me at the Tampa improv. Remember, I was almost cast to be in police academy. That's what I do. You write things and I'm the funny girl. Excuse me, excuse me. What do you do? What is it that you do against me? I'm a comedian!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care. I'm rich. I'm gonna kill it. It's your refrigerator, my name. I'm not because I'm rich. I got that shit live on anime. Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know. it takes me 15 hours to get through my foyer so big So big hold on Communion and Marge is like Hello You're not a comedian alright good fuck you do with you

I don't know what, Marge. I'm lost because I was doing that thing where I'm talking and I just kept scrolling through, but I wasn't looking. Marge's probably like my lady. So then Jennifer's like, yes, she's so she's saying she doesn't burst nations and Jackie started to think like, can I talk now? Can I talk now? I'm a little bit more.

And then Jennifer starts talking over her and starts doing like the finger thing. I know when the finger comes up on Bravo, they arguments already because then they are going to say, don't put your finger in my face. How could you put your finger in my face? How could you? Yeah, so then it becomes her writing like, I'm putting my finger in my face. I said, yeah, just stick out of your car. Who is a joke, and Jack, you're sticking your finger in my face,

because you're giving me a condescending smirk. Yeah! Yeah! So Ben, Jennifer, is like, you know what, I've done with this conversation because when it gets up, you get to be, because I'm done with it. So she walks away, and then Jennifer's like, I'm not gonna of a conversation because when they get something good to feed, I'm done with it. So she walks away and then Jennifer's like,

I'm gonna talk to you. So she keeps following her around the building. So meanwhile, Melissa is over there trying to explain to Teresa that Jackie felt bullied by this internet clip. This Instagram clip. Yes. It's so confusing over something so small. So it's so confusing. It's a good... Maly, she thought Bolly, and I was really minding her,

was bullied by Hock, and she was spread in real minutes about me. But that was after you bullied her with the first... So then, you're already confused about her. So Lisa starts doing her, the thing that she loves to do, which is just to make Melissa feel bad about the situation. I mean, if I would never let someone talk shit about you,

except all the times I let people talk shit about you, how did they not cut back to the clip of that hairdresser being like, hmm, so I hear the Melissa was a stripper of scores on the boardwalk. And Teresa's like, why? Let's say it again. Have you heard of Sophia Lorenz? Yeah. So Melissa goes, well, maybe now you would Lorenz? Yeah.

So, Melisica's, well, maybe now you wouldn't love me. Yeah, around about me. I'm thinking, well, you know, a lot of people respect you because you're my sister-in-law. So, Teresa, upstanding citizen of New Jersey, everyone's bragging about being related to Melisica two nights these days. So, Jennifer's still denying that she did anything wrong.

Jackie's going on saying that Jennifer's a soldier for Teresa's. They're all sort of just like, they keep sort of like circling and joining them making little groups and then coming out little groups, et cetera. Yeah, they just keep doing this ever and ever. So I'm like, scroll, scroll, scroll, done, done with the show, done, xx. So there's all this tension. I'm like skull skull skull done done with the show don't So there's all this tension the music is like building everyone's like in their little groups They're like

And then it cuts it to Laura so she goes I've been trying to stay away from Cobbs And not working out so well. It's hard. It's difficult. You know what I try to do to burn off the cops? I'm off in the kitchen, to the living room. I'm back. I'm like, hey, Matt, how's it look? And he's like, well, you know, if you really want to burn off the cops, you know, I come

to gym. I can't come to gym. I got Frank. I got Frank. I got David now. Who's dead? I got, you know, I got the living room situation, Pebble Tile. You know, it's hard.

So like, he carbs. So like, it's hard. So like he comes So lie that's hard So Teresa comes out because now she's like no parole Teresa. We're saying I'm telling there might be the mind So she marches up and she's like I know you've been spread in Rome. It's about me. I Jackson, no, no, I haven't been to put in Roman, but no, no, someone asked me a question about you, and I was, yeah, you need to keep my name out to Mount. Yes. Yes.

All of your mouths. Yeah. All of my mouth, bitch. And she's like, well, then can I have the same thing that maybe you could keep my name out of your mouth, is she's like, all right, damn. If you go to Risa, if the real knockdown dragout you had there.

So then basically, Jen leaves and she doesn't say goodbye to, I'm sorry, Jackie leaves, she doesn't say goodbye to Jennifer. So Jennifer's like, oh, you're not gonna say goodbye to the host. Oh, okay, I guess we're just not friends. Shocker. Shocker. Shocker.

Sorry, I've got a real man of a husband who cares for me. Yes, I would like Marbo to talk. Thank you so romantic. Sorry, you're poor. And then, love this. The call comes in from ICE. And it's like that automated thing. And he goes, this is a call from Zhao.

What the hell? He goes, Zhao! Zhao! Zhao! I try to have some, this is like you're literally leaving America Try to be like cuz you like Joe or Joe or Joe not like It's like they interrupted him while we're taking a shit or something. I feel like they kept they kept saying sorry We could not hear that please speak your name after so so so so so Sorry, we couldn't hear that please re-record your name. So sorry. we couldn't hear that. Please re-record your name.

Sorry, we couldn't hear that. DOW! It's basically, alright. Weep! It's basically padmosh. It's like, hi, welcome to I. It's my dear friend. DOW!

Has something to say. Press one for Gale Aided. Press two for Gale Aided in Spanish. Did you mean to break the law and never become a citizen? Oh, I don't make a great, like, you'll judge. Like, we both the same thing about Joe. This is a call from Joe. Five exclamation points. So, so, so, so, it's really not sad.

Stop feeling bad. Stop. They're like, that is really so sad. No, ma'am. I support you. I support you. I support you. I support you.

No, I love you. The teacher came here. It's great tonight. We got free, Luan. We have Instant Party. Just have vodka. This is a very well-prepared drink. Bring a family bar.

Pick up six people. Wow. We got fruit and the wands, we have instant party, just a vodka. This is a very well-prepared drink. Look at Bill, but then... Bring a family party, pick up six people. Wow, like this is, at least it all over. Tempted the drink as well. So this is the last little part.

He's like, yeah, I can't eat y'all. Because like Teresa doesn't give a fuck. Like I can't even believe she answers the phone, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, am I okay? I've done. You know what? My time is done.

And I see here where I'm sitting in this fucking ISIS facility with my goddamn time. That was happening. I'm with my goddamn time here with ISIS. What were you doing before ISIS? Yeah, you know what I mean? Hi, yeah, the baseman with your like,

like full, like suit of armor and the baseman that you have. I don't get it. Yeah, like those Lego battleships from Star Wars. Never quite got finished, because you were in. Yes. You didn't do shit. And that brings us the end.

Oh, we're absolutely. Jersey. You got me. By the way, we forgot to mention Jackie, the Queen of Versailles, has a bunch of chapstick for everyone. Thank you so much. Check it out. So get your Queen of Versailles has a bunch of chops. Thank you so much. Check it out. So get your Queen of Versailles chops.

You have a lot of chops. I get your chops. You guys, thank you so much for coming out. Thank you guys. You guys are my movie Jackie. I'm your host. See you next time. Bye.

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