Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: The Trepology

Episode Date: April 2, 2021

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo)* Teresa finally gives Jackie the apology she's been asking for on this week's Real Housewives of New Jersey, but will it suffice? Will Margaret drown Jennifer by the end of the episode? And why is there cheese flying? Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**We designed lots of face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've got a cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker Whoa, hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about audio brawfs!

Hi, I'm Ronnie, Ronnie Karam. Joining me today is usual, is the beautiful, the talented, the gorgeous, the well-mannered, perfectly quaffed. Mr. Ben Mantelker, hello, Ben. Hi, what's going on? Never you. Oh, I'm so great. How are you? I'm good. Everybody. We're on crap and it's on demand today.

That means we're on video so I can see Ben. Guy, you can also see all my lovely new artwork that I've installed in my office. So I'm just done by us. I'm just done by you guys. For listeners, okay? We've got the padded upon octopus back there. We've got our great British baking show Baking tribute to my head behind me. Yeah cake. So thanks for those guys. I love you guys for those beautiful pieces of artwork and Ben has a new little office decoration as well behind him

It's looking great some little plant. Thank you. You're a bird lots of birds behind him Thank you. Victor of birds. Lots of birds behind him. Thank you for acknowledging the, you know, last week it was, it was some flowers, but this week we've now gotten a snake plant that is permanently, snake plant doesn't need a lot of light or a lot of moisture, unlike flowers which die every day. So we have now, I think, a permanent fixture over there. And then, yeah, the, the old bird poster is directly behind me. So all you can really see are the black lines of the frame dangling down for my ears. Well, you move a lot because you're at like a standing best now. So you know, we'll get the birds. You guys can do some bird spotting in here. Yeah. And I have a, I have a non-flat

standing mat. So what happens is that I'm constantly like moving, like moving my feet on it because it's got like bumps and things that you can Like massage your feet on and then what happens is I move on it enough that that starts to slide under the desk So you will see on the video me. I will occasionally like have to step back And pull back and then come back forward again. It's a whole process. It's really one of the perks of crap and Sunday Yeah, you're journeying that you're standing desk journey is something else. I'm just glad to be here. Just glad to be here, you know, glad to be here supporting that. I'm going to be trying out some new mats next week. We're going to be doing like a little bit of like like standing desk mat idle next

week. And we're going to see who makes it to the top. So but right now I'm testing out this one. Be exciting for everyone. Well, I'll tell you what's very exciting. Today is the episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. We're someone flip some cheese. Okay, who does it? Do we know? We don't know. Why do they flip the cheese? We really don't know. We spent a lot of time in our preview of this season

wondering about that cheese. I mean, what is it? Is it even cheese? Is it something as a croutons? Remember, we thought it was croutons. We actually spent a lot of time discussing whether or not it was cheese a croutons? Remember we thought it was croutons? We actually spent a lot of time discussing whether or not it was cheese or croutons. And then I'm happy to say that it was actually cheese.

I feel like now we got some close ups. Unless those croutons just went very awry. They did appear to be cheese. Yeah, well, you said they were cheese. I couldn't believe that someone would do that to cheese. I mean, cheese is not cheese, but it's a luxury item, guys. you said they were cheese. I couldn't believe that someone would do that to cheese. I mean, cheese is not cheese, but it's a luxury item, guys. Don't throw your cheese.

Okay. It was very polarizing. It was as polarizing as that meme of the Stripes dress from a few years ago, which is appropriate because that's basically what Joe, but he was wearing tonight on the show. So, you know, there were a lot of, you know, lines were drawn in the sand. Yeah, they sure were. Okay, so let's get on with it. Real housewives

of New Jersey were fighting outside by the water to Laura's beach house on the shore. And Jackie's just said, you get that confidence in jail? And someone reminded us in the comments on Instagram that Jackie's parents have been depressing. So that's right. That makes it even better, you know, when she keeps making jail jokes, you know? So what? It's been close to home.

You can still throw that dagger out there. Why the hell not? Yeah, I mean, and I, like Jackie's dad is kind of this sort of a kooky oddball. I wouldn't be surprised if he said, you know I got my confidence jail. That's why I got my confidence, and so I wouldn't be surprised. She's like, oh, so is that way you got your confidence from jail like my dad? Yeah, she's just trying to be nice. Yeah jail she's disgusting and she's disgusting of the issues. And Joe's just like, just gotta end, this gotta end, alright?

I can't take no more of this, alright? Like watching the invisible butterflies fly around him. The invisible, you know, a knight with those lights on, you know, just like all sorts of moths. He's like, which one's real? Which one's fake? I don't know. I don't know. I gotta look all around. I can't tell if his eyeballs just don't move

And that's why he's moving his head like someone would move their eyeballs, but his eyeballs just a straight ahead He just keeps on it's like a bird Like that do their head to see around I don't know yeah, but um, so either way Teresa's like yeah I wasn't the big deal. Why don't you know? This why don't like her you know, she's calculator, okay? This why don't like us so she gets up and she like goes she leaves the table and she goes the doorway She's like you want the stupid bitch in your house go fuck yourself go fuck yourself So she goes inside and little gorgas to follow her and Jackie's like you know what this is to me This is like a joke to me. This is like a joke to me

This is like a joke to me. I'm a list is like I wasn't even born in this bullshit. Why not? Now Melissa's just decided that she's gonna go fucking crazy and start throwing things for no reason in this episode The whole cast in this episode is just like you know what? Okay, I'm sorry. Okay, you know you want to go swimming and you want to go swimming and then 10 minutes later, it's like, you're big! All right, you know what? We should have some dinner now. All right, let's not just sit down to some dinner.

You know what? It's funny that you mentioned that because last night before I watched the episode, I went on to Twitter and in the sidebar where it said like, trending or news for you or whatever. And I put this on our IG story because it made me laugh so much. But there was like a list of things that were trending in America. It was like, Matt Gatz is potentially like under investigation for sex trafficking.

Coronavirus numbers are up. There's like a earthquake somewhere and then it just goes Dolores. I just like in the middle of these like, oh wow, terrible things are happening. And Dolores. I just like in the middle of these like, oh wow, terrible things are happening. And Dolores human trafficking, coronavirus and Dolores Dolores. What was the news about Dolores? I don't know, I didn't click on it because I didn't want spoilers because I. Spoilers. This is my. This is some of us like to be surprised.

Well, if Dolores was gonna do something like, I don't know, like swing a tire iron at Frank's knee or something like that, I'm like, I wanna be in that moment. I don't want to be anticipating it, you know? Well, I don't know why Dolores was, of all the things this episode, I kept on waiting for Dolores to do something crazy,

you know, like lose her mind. But all Dolores did all episodes, what you said, say, all right, you know what Just calm down. She's a very sweet person. Just you don't want to hurt her. She doesn't want to hurt you Frank I'm doing the laundry get off the bed Frank. Yeah, she just had like this face the whole time She'd be like oh this cheese like this cheese all over the place This cheese alright, you know what it wasn't good cheese. It wasn't good cheese. Jennifer brought it. You can tell it still has a supermarket packaging.

Oh, so Melissa's screaming now. And she's like, I don't even want to be in her presence. All right, don't even try to wrap me bitch. And Jackie's like, this is the problem. You see the minute I retort, then it's me. I'm the one that caused it. And Marge is like, yeah, but Jackie came here cordial. And Teresa came, came, came, saying six is still so up your ass.

Okay. So I think Jackie wins this one. Yeah. And by the way, when you said Melissa decided that this is the time that she wanted to make it about her, It's not like she just decided. The thing is with Melissa is that she doesn't want to start fights with Teresa because they went through all those years and she doesn't want to be accused of being the one that starts to fight. So she just waits for a fight that's happening and then you can start piggyback. She's like, great, now I can finally fight

about the thing that's been pissing me off for two months. So she's just like, here we go, this is my moment. I'm gonna air grievances about this joke, would you dice the article? Yeah. So Gorka goes in to follow Teresa, and he's trying to get in her door, and she's like, I said, leave me alone, Array! You're in the asshole, I'm your sister, you should stick up for me!

And I was like, my sister doesn't stick up for me when her ex-husband comes after me, okay? You know? And then we see, like, it's the article that says Joe Gorgah. Joe Gorgah, I mean, Joe, I said that, I guess, what, Joe Gorgah and Melissa have problems or something like that. And again, we are on super close up on Joe Gorgah's face.

Well, it's just, but filling up the entire frame for some reason. I don't, I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that.

I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that.

I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they do that. Did you see extensions in the hair? They're disgusting, okay? She's disgusting, all you gotta get out, you know? So downstairs, Melissa's like, okay, we're gonna go. And Marge is like, to the lowest, the food was great.

Thank you so much for having us. I'm gonna bring the utensils in, okay? That's what I'm, I'm just my contribution. I'm bringing utensils in, okay? Yeah, I'll bring the utensils in. I'm gonna leave the cheese out here. I'm sure it'll be safe. Nothing will go wrong with the cheese.

I'm gonna bring the utensils first, okay? Don't worry, it's very resilient that cheese. Well, I'm sure it'll be safe. Nothing will go wrong with the cheese. I'm gonna bring the utensils first. Okay, don't worry. It's very resilient that cheese. Well, I'm sure I'll just be in that bowl next time I come out. Okay. Yeah. So she takes out the utensils in and Jackie's like, you know what, your husband is an asshole.

And Marge is like, yeah, you heard Jackie. You know what, why would you heard Jackie? How good you? Oh, because they're talking to Joe Benino now. She's definitely not. Jackie is all crying now. You know, she's like, oh, your husband is such an asshole. I can't believe we would do that to me, Ma'am.

She's like, yeah, you're a Jackie joke. You are a Jackie joke. And she's like, why would you give life to this? Why? And then Jackie starts a sob fest. Everyone's always so worried for Jackie. And this is why, because. Yeah, because last episode, Melissa kept on saying, she's on the verge for Jackie and this is why because yeah, because last episode Melissa kept on saying

She's on the verge of tears which by the way, maybe that's the reason why Jackie is like Like a mess the first half this episode because Melissa Gaslett or the entire previous episode like look at this girl She's on the verge of tears. How can you talk to her so finally? Yeah, everyone doing right they were like oh hi We hear for a table for six. The six ladies is a six one that's about to have a nervous breakdown. You're right. You cry and get a big picture nap table.

You stop and get, yeah, bring some napkins. Bring some extra napkins. She's about to cry. OK, just be very gentle with her. OK, so, yeah. So Jackie is basically like you gave this life and everything and Marge is like She's like they were all talking about it. You fucking heard it now Marge is sort of just like screaming at everyone, you know And and Jackie is like yeah, I mean I was fine until he opened his fucking mouth

I was fine until he opened his mouth and Marge was like what they were all talking about it. They were all what do you think? Fucking happened. They're just like ranting Because now she's she goes from like berating Joe and being like like yeah Yeah, yeah, Jackie. How could you hit Jackie? Hey, he's been wonderful to you He's stood up you every single time you're you're a Joe. Hey Joe. You're Jackie how could you hit Jackie? Hey, he's been wonderful to you. He stood up you every single time You heard Joe. Hey Joe. You're Jackie. You're Jackie. Okay, someone's about to hit that cheese. I'm angry who wants to be yelled at? Okay, anyone know okay, because it's Jersey so they have that like hierarchy of who gets yelled at like who you have to stand up first Right? Well, yeah, you know what? That's her daughter. All right, so she's gotta be mad because it's her daughter Okay, that's her ex husband, which still comes before

It comes like between the daughter and the grandfather But if you get between the grandfather and the best friend, you better watch out It's like there's a hole so Marj is just confused. It's like her husband like she's on Jackie side and she's mad at her husband But he's still her husband bitch, you know, yeah, and now Jackie now Jackie is totally shattered And she's like why is everyone yelling at me? What the fuck did I do? What the fuck did I do? I've had it. I've had it. I've had enough of it Okay, I'm going inside if you want to have some cheese. It's gonna be there. It'll be safe Okay, just have to film I'm gonna be inside there. Okay. I'm going inside So Jackie's sobbing like I don't even know what I did.

And Melissa tells Marge, oh my god, listen, don't get mad at Jackie now. Look at her, she's having the nervous breakdown. We've been predicting every five minutes for three episodes. Okay, she's happened to pass. She didn't mean it. I mean, look at her, she's broken.

You have to help her, Marge. Do you see that bowl of cheese? That is her mental state right now, okay? Okay, it looks just a bunch of little pieces that at any moment could go tumbling out of the bowl, okay? That is Jackie in cheese form. And so Frank's like, well, Joe did say her Dorma. You know what I'm talking about? Dorma? Dorma what?

Hey, let me just say Dorma, because I like all the spit I'm getting all over the camera lens, right? The rooma Is that it's got a girlfriend, all right, and you know what we are that we also we don't believe it So what's the big deal, all right? We did a shot on it. Why is it a big deal? And Joe Benino is like he comes in in those stripes his stripes are so cute And so such a poor choice also. And he's like, listen, no one was spreading a rumor. We were sitting around in a circle. So that's the end of my defense. Okay, we were sitting in the circle. That's it. It was

it was bro circle. Okay, that's all I got to say. And so Jackie's like, Jackie just wants to go home and March is in the kitchen going going you know what she doesn't understand Right the misconduct I just thought of the dance she comes and she's like stop yelling about me I want to understand why everyone's punching bad and the loris just goes listen You're not everyone's punching bag Anyone want to hit her She's here anyone anyone Okay, so I want to get mass. Okay, I know his gym's been closed. Anyone? She's here. Anyone?

Okay. Does anyone want to get mass? Okay, I know his gym's been closed. I know he's looking for a punching bag. Okay. So, so Jackie's like, I need to know, I need to know my friends are not talking about me. That's what I need to know. And Margaret's like, well, you know what, I'm trying to explain, but you don't let anyone

talk so you have to listen. Okay. Who wants to be yelled at? Because I'm like, really amped up. Okay. Melissa. Melissa, why are you here yelled at because I'm like really amped up. Okay, Melissa Why are you well? Why is he having a ponytail? Why I told you not to wear the ponytail? Hmm didn't really land as much as I wanted. Okay, I'll go back to Jackie He defended you. He the now I guess the moment's over. Oh, well Yeah, you know about you. I'm done with this. Just tell them what happened on the men's night

So just like there was a room. You know what we said? I said there was a room And we all heard it, but we don't believe it. Like see, see there, you know what, it was a rumor that got back to you, wrong. What else, Joe? What else happened? He's like, would you like an iced coffee? Good job, Joe. Well, all right, you're excused, Joe. Joe, you're pouring the coffee, Joe, you got to put the coffee in the glass. You're pouring it on your foot. Okay, this still doesn't know how to make the damn thing. I like that Joe goes, he's he actually specifically actually specifically said listen we were talking and we gave Evan a 100% vote of confidence. I'm like well thank you town council like did you sign like a like a like a ceremonial law or something like that like a private

gabbling city council because you know that that's all that matters is like the postal code that this happened in like did you hear about did you hear about it in ten of fly? Yeah, we didn't hear it in that town you heard it you heard it here first So it's probably some city council docket somewhere so March is like in Jackie know the last person So they cry and hug and say they love each other. And Jackie tells us, this only one person is like, for this entire mouth down, to Lisa. Okay, as usual, okay, to Lisa.

Yeah, so Teresa comes downstairs and she goes outside and Jennifer's sitting there with Joe Gorega. She's like, you know know what it's not my fucking Fights I'm not so I'm just gonna sit here and shut up baby So Jackie's still squeal crying and Teresa comes down and Teresa like Just comes out and she goes so why you don't pick off the assistant You two should eat in lower lives after she said that G thing alright Emily Melissa's like Teresa get in here and tell Jackie this is

over just uh-uh after she said that about the jails and then now it's time to lose it on Teresa so Melissa's like what said what you know about the jail things and Melissa she marches over there and gets right in her like bends down to get right in her face And she's like that there you What the fuck you say you're accusing a husband a cheating And she's like well not one person even said something to Jackie and that's kind of fucked up So now this is where Melissa goes like charging up, you know, and she's like, what the fuck are you gonna say now?

I should have stuck up for you when she said you should have been in jail, and suddenly you're a weak bitch who can't defend herself. And Teresa's like, bling, bling, bling, bling, because Melissa totally gets her with that logic, right? Like, because Teresa, all she does is say, I'm strong, I can handle it myself.

And then like the moment anyone says anything, she's like, why don't you stand up for me So she's like This logic she's like This is this episode gave us my favorite Teresa face. I mean Teresa has some really really good dumb faces But this the open face with just the blink is my favorite the open mouth when she's like I can stand up for myself. So then this is where Melissa grabs the bowl of cheese cubes, which by the way, more cheese cubes than is even necessary.

I don't even know why the cheese cubes were even out there. Yeah. Yeah. Just that was a lot of cheese cubes. I mean, that was a ton of cheese. Was that just for Frank? I don't understand. So she picks up this bowl, this like

crowgur bowl of cheese cubes and slams it down, the cheese cubes explode everywhere, which I mean, honestly, I loved it. I thought the visual was great. I had a lot of like dynamic flair to it, a lot of movement, a lot of motion. I think like we talk a lot about throwing wine glasses and things like that. But I don't think we've really appreciated how good cheese cubes are in these moments and I encourage more cheese cube explosions during a fight. Well, it's also funny because in Jersey, like this is being polite, right?

Like Melissa literally looked around the table. The silverware was gone because we know that March took all the utensils. So she looked around the table, she wanted to respect the Laura, so she did not throw wine glasses on the ground, which should be difficult to clean up. She was like, you know what, I'm gonna throw something soft

and squishy because I really respect Laura's. Yeah, and something, and it's also, you think, I think in her back of her mind, she's also like, I also don't want Joe to be eating these rest of the night. So let's just like shake them out. Or maybe she just herself didn't want to be eating them the rest of the night. So let's just like shake him out. Or maybe she just herself didn't want to be eating them the rest of the night. So she just slammed them down, they explode.

And then it's kind of funny, because it feels like for the rest of the episode we have cutaways of people sweeping up cheese cubes. Like there's so many cheese cubes that people are constantly cleaning them up. So she slams them down and she's like, she's like, you should have just stood up, like you stood up for your ex husband

when we were defending your ass, you know, because what the fuck is wrong with you you're a sick fucking bitch. I defended you too many times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and three. This got nothing to do with my ex-husband. It's that fucking bitch we're talking about. And Joe's like, would you just listen? I can't see where you are right now. I'm gonna feel it right in here. There you are, listen to me, all right? Just listen to us.

So then Joe is gonna go crazy now. So she's like, I'm gonna listen man. You can look, my mouth is open. Yeah. And Teresa goes, you know, I just said, he did the right thing. And I wanted you to be happy that he did the right thing and Garka goes he's like I'm mad at that son of it

You know, because now he's acting his chief supply has now been depleted. So now he is activated And he's like I'm mad at the son of a bitch for what he did to you He ruined everything. He put you in jail my wife 100% is right you're gonna defend him. I have my fucking tongue as long as I could and I lick my wife's vagina with it You know, you know, you know, you know, but I held my tongue If his veins are popping out and he's red, he's like punching tables and like smashing whole smashing The cheese is just like all whatever cheese they've managed to gather up is now like bounce all the way out of the bowl again There's so much food flying everywhere. I Teresa's mouth is still like a little piece of cheese flies in a Teresa's mouth

There are some ants were going on the ride of their life They're like yo, you got to go to this table at this house, okay? There's an answer. We're gonna be farting all over each other tonight and bad They're like, yo, they get back to the end hill. They're like, yo, yo, yo, we went to this dope-ass picnic table We're just hanging out and then boom, we were like flying. We were like a fly for a second. You got to go to this table I know the Queen's like, my god why is everybody farting? Stay away from that house. Okay. Too much dairy stay away. Find the family's dropping crackers or some shit. So Teresa still going. Uh-uh. We're not talking

about them. We're talking about Jackie's. Like fuck out of that jacket. talking about them. We're talking about Jackie's. Like, forget it. And then inside Jackie is like still crying. Her face has just turned to like her cheeks are red. Everything around her is just like red. I don't know what's like, did she go into a sauna in between scenes? I'm not sure. But she's like, what are they even fighting about? It's like, I could Jackie. All right, they're fighting my Joe Judas. Okay, I want to go home. I want to go home right now.

Okay, I'm gonna go home. So I'm starting to Laura always with a good advice. She's like, Joe, wait a second, Joe. Listen, let's remember this. You know what your parents wanted more than anything in the world. You'd stew to stop making out in the closet. All right, untruthed.

Otherwise, they wanted you to be together. All right, untruthed. Yes. Otherwise, they wanted, you know, they wanted you to be together. All right. So you guys need to make up, Joe. All right. And then Joe's like, yeah, I just, I got to do this. Do you know what they're divorced now?

And Teresa's like, yeah, yeah, I'm divorced. I write that's why I need a new beginning. All right. So why would fight me? He's like, all right, let's hug. And then it's So why would fight me? He's like, alright, let's hug. And then it's like fine. Yeah. And he's like, there isn't a man on this earth who took away more from me than Joe Judais. He's taken away time from me and my father. And then we get a flashback to the christening. He's like, yeah, I'm on. I know no big man. You're the baby. You're the baby. You're the baby. You're the

pussy. You cry when you all talk to bus over part. Busy. He's taking time away from me and my father. He took time away from me and my mother. And then we just we always get that clip of the mom being like, would you like some more pasta? I know. It just goes through the list and it is really some great clips. I mean, that christening is classic. It is classic. And he's like, I just want to end, okay? And then Frank comes in as the peacemaker and says, oh, I have a lot of, I have a lot of , I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of,

I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of , I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of , I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of , I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of , I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of , I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I? Both of you's out. It's ridiculous, okay? It's ridiculous, okay? They're just like wiping off like, all the saliva off their faces.

It's okay. If it means that Frank will stop spitting on us, we will put this to bed. I know, yeah. Like a little baby is having to fit and you throw glass of water in their face. You know, here you just need Frank spitting on you. You know, but it's the same basic the same basic deal

So Joe's like all right, you proved your point and Melissa's like all right, you know what Teresa? You need to go to her and you need to say it's over because I'm not gonna do this anymore and she's like That was the most self-aware thing Teresa's ever said actually I don't find that was the most self-aware thing to Reese's ever said actually It was sort of weird I felt uncomfortable with it. I was uncomfortable with her knowing the world You have to do I know me too all you have to do is just say you're sorry. She's like And then Jackie's like I don't know what I'm gonna do for the rest of the trip I mean right now what I'm thinking about is just spending the rest of the trip saying I don't know what I'm gonna do for the rest of the trip. I mean, right now what I'm thinking about is just spending the rest of the trip saying,

I don't know what I'm gonna do for the rest of the trip. That's sort of my game plan at the moment. You don't have to make a decision right now, all right? Right now you're like a little piece of cheese that's been stepped into a crack, all right? You just need to wait for somebody to show up and clean you up, all right? That's it.

You're a dog with a bone, but you're also a dog that has arthritis, okay, and even It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney battle and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and

Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. We need to take care of you. So Joe and Melissa go to the van where barrenge is and Jackie and Melissa is like, are you okay and Jackie is like, the really, the really. And the Lord says like, all right Frank, well it was nice for us to have a dinner party for once. Jesus Christ, Frank.

I also like, by the way, when they go to the van, Melissa goes, is she crying still? It's like Melissa. You gas lit her into thinking that she was going to cry. Like all episode long, she's gonna cry, she's gonna cry, She's gonna cry. And as you finally cry, she's crying still. So Dolores and Frank and Jen are all talking in the kitchen,

cleaning up. And Dolores is like, you know, what Teresa? Dolores is like Teresa, you know what? You like to fight hard, but you don't want to see someone hurt. But she said, Jill, I'm right, she says. And Jen's like, yeah, she's really hurt, baby. That girl that's hurt, she's in pain. That girl's like a piece of monster

and to reflect on her brand, man. She's trash, she's trash. So Teresa's like, you know, she likes to throw daggers and stuff and like, why, when they make everyone feel safe? I'm like, she throws daggers in self-defense because you're shooting her down with a machine gun for crying out loud. Yeah. So now Jack is so crying in the van. Yeah, she's like, I have the water. Get the kid getting beat up by this woman and chose like, yeah, you know what? She wasn't in the right mind, but it's over because I talked to her. Right?

You know what? Sometimes woman need a man. All right? And by sometimes, I mean, all the time. I was like, shut up woman. And then she was like, all right. So you're probably good with what you need. Because I did it. The man. The man could do it. I'm list of goes, no one wants to see you upset

for one more minute, Jackie. But we are gonna warn everyone for the rest of the season that you're about to cry. So, Well, we see why. I mean, Jesus Christ enough, okay? Like, does a rumor about your husband cheating? You're really making me like seek out Evan to give him a blowjob at this point, okay?

You're lending this too much credence, is what I'm saying. I feel like Evan must not approve of Real Housewives. I feel like he must not like that she's on the show because with my reputation and finance. In finance. Okay. Because she's so distraught. I mean, like, yeah, it's like a shitty thing what Theresa did, but she just seems very nervous about,

it seems like everything is about how Evan will react. Like it's Evan gonna be okay. She's nervous about this. I want you to make her right with Evan. She seems like nervous about Evan's reaction, which makes me feel like they had some sort of fight and she's like, no, like it's good to be in real house. So as he's like, I don't want all her shit out there. And now it's kind of like, like, oh, because of this, it's like he's kind of winning the fight. Like that's just sort of like what I'm, right. That's what I'm like conjecturing. I don't know if it's true, but it's fun to think about. Yeah, it's a little creepy

because she's scared of what Evan thinks and Evan acts. You hear him on the phone. He's like, fuck that. She said that. And real life, he's like, what? I didn't even care anymore. Yeah, it's cool. It's cool. Yeah, which is always scary when a man acts like that in private. And then in public, he's like, huh? So she calls, but she's also constantly putting gas on her. She's also a fire, right? Because she's just been outside crying and had this whole night. So she calls Evan and she's like, listen, I just wanted to warn you. She's a fucking animal.

And she's going really hard tonight, Evan. He's like, what, she dragging my name again. And she's like, yeah, but because there was a guy's night and she just kept trying to give life to it and saying that all the guys heard about it. And she was just trying to throw everyone up the bus about it. So now he's like really riled up

and he's on his way there tomorrow. Right. And Melissa's like, oh, God, she's telling the story again. Like they're all like, I'm like, yeah, of course she is because you guys created this terrible situation and now like she's been through an emotional hell. Of course she's gonna tell their husband about it. So Jackie keeps saying how like,

you know, Teresa has been giving life to this, et cetera. Even though Jackie's the one currently filming I've seen doing this. So Dolores, um, Dolores. So then, Dolores is like, you know what, Teresa? Just tell you're gonna stop. You're gonna stop talking about it. Just say sorry, you're hurt, okay?

Yeah, I said sorry, we already said it. And then it goes, look, that's... Because the editors are like, no, you didn't. Dolores gives her such a side eye. Dolores is like, how much further to the left of my people have to go for you to see the side eye right now. Okay. So Jackie is telling Evan, I don't want you to walk into a shit show. Let's just make a promise. If it gets really bad, we can leave. We're gonna leave together. Okay. And Teresa is like like that girl's just not my kind of people. I write she doesn't have a heart. She's cold

Yeah And so Dolores is like Teresa Oh my god and Jennifer's like Teresa We got another two days now that's coming tomorrow like she is so like the Ensemble member in a musical who has to come and give a little bit of exposition. What are we gonna do that clothes and down the store? We gotta find a way to raise some money, rap, bada! It's like...

Yeah, thank you Jennifer. And Doris is like, listen, you know what? You speak different languages. She speaks English. You speak tringlish. Okay? She speaks like an adult. You speak like a shorting out doorbell. All right. Listen.

She speaks, you know, she speaks logic. You speak gorilla. You know, that's it. So, um, so Dolores is like, um, so she's like, listen, it's a waste of time to get Theresa to admit she's wrong. So she goes, she's the divorce goes up to Theresa goes, you know what? She's eviscerated, okay? She's eviscerated. Hold on, out the big guns for this one. She's eviscerated. And she's like, but you know what, Theresa, here's the deal.

She thinks you're a bad person. Proof her wrong All right, Teresa's like But she's stupid no so then so now I like my de lauras gets mad at Teresa because de lauras is never gonna pop off at Teresa Right so she does the sync where she burp talks like you know when you're about to burp you make this face You pull your pull your head back like you're kind of sucking in there. She's like, Teresa. This is how you gotta deal with it. Yeah.

Just pulling up too much cheese. Thank God, thank God, spilled everywhere. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so cracked his hand or something like that Yeah, we didn't really get much of a follow up on that one I was like very concerned about his hand the rest of the episode and Jackie is just she's like okay guys. Can you just like promise me one thing that like if she starts up We'll use like all as a group just like shut it down. Okay. I just don't want Evan to hear it Okay, can you just do that? They're like yeah, of course of course of. Yeah, and then Jackie is like oh, and you know what else Jennifer's trying to start problems and She needs to shut her fucking mouth. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying

So they're still talking over at the other house too and she's like oh my god My just angry and Teresa like yeah, I mean cause she was man a husband said so I'm buddy. They're saying yeah, he's And say yeah, he's saying like can we just go to bed Teresa's not gonna stop saying he just said he did say that right let's just go to back here All right You know what Frank it's it's been a long night. Let's go to bed Frank a tanya who would have thought at the end of the night you would be the quiet one right? That's right Dolores, who would have thought I ever be the quiet one? All right you know what I never should have asked the question I just cleaned up this deck. So it's the morning now and Dolores sees Teresa in the hallway and she's like I heard vibrations coming

from your room last night and treats us like yeah I had trouble sleeping It was just her eyelashes blinking so fast that was the vibration Yeah, it was a bedroom fan like hitting hitting her eyelashes so she tried to sleep So um so now we see Marge with with Joe which is, you know, with Joe, I was very upset. Okay, like, you know, I'm sorry that I screamed at you like that, but there's just something about the stripes on your shirt. I don't know, I couldn't focus, all right. I felt very triggered.

And he's like, well, you know, what's fine, you know, but you know, he's like, you know, I feel bad because everything, you know, everyone, you know, someone says something that's out of context and, you know, like, it's all crazy. It's like, yeah, no tree wasn't out with you guys. And she doesn't know what happened. She has no idea what happened. I mean, I don't know what happened either, but I like to yell, but whatever we can't talk. Joe, just make me nice coffee.

I can't do it anymore. I've talked too much with that nice coffee in my hand. And everybody's like, yo, kay, Jackie. Hey, Jackie, would you like some eggs? Is some clean eggs? Jackie's gonna cry. Everyone's just so worried about Jackie again. She's like, I'm fine.

I'll have some yogurt. And then the kitchen gets quiet. Like, what does that mean? They like yogurt. Should we chowler that there's veggie crisps also available? I don't want to push it. So, so then the next, so then Frankie is not Frankie, but Frank is waking up and oh wait, that's

what that's just what happened. No, I'm so many people are waking up. What's his hurricane? What's his hurricane coming through here? And he goes, wow, feel this. This is like a cloud. This is like a cloud. It's the betting Frank.

Okay. Now, here's what I'm worried about. Evan's coming and I'm not so confident he's coming in peace. He's very upset, Frank. He's very upset. He's like, I would be angry too if you called me like that, cryin' like that. You know, three needs to apologize.

So now we go around finding out how terribly everybody slept because they were so stressed about last night. Yeah. And then they go out to the little deck or whatever to have some breakfast. And, um, Marge, of course, is like, last night. Yeah. And then they go out to the little deck or whatever to have some breakfast. And um, Marge, of course, is like, Joe, go, I got no thoughts on the magic speed. I bet. So they're all talking about how they're not prepared for another day of this bullshit

with Teresa. And Jackie's like, you know what? I just don't want Evan to get riled up. I just, I need to know Teresa is not going to be an animal. Can you guys assure me that Teresa is not going to be an animal? I just need to know that Teresa is not gonna be an animal. Can you guys assure me the Teresa is not gonna be an animal I just need to know that she's not go upset. Evan do not upset Everyone else like that Evan can be upset to you. Okay, welcome to your job Evan is a grown human being he will He will be fine if Teresa acts like an animal. I'm sure he will be absolutely fine That's okay. We do not have to protect Evan from anything, you know, so

So yes, so so Joe is like, no, don't worry about it. I listen I called the tree earlier today and we see a flashback and he's like You're the only family I have a family's memorials coming at the Mars. Let's just make peace. So they're gonna make peace. Gorgas, Gorgas told her to make peace so they're gonna finally make peace. Yeah, I love that they both say that they're the only family they have. They have humongous families both families. Like you're all I got left. I only got you my 19 children my 37 cousins 45 other people named Joe that I'm related to So yeah, so Teresa gets on the phone with Gabriela and

Gabrielle is like hi mom She's like no one and just getting my nails done I'm like, now she's like, no one. And just get my nails done. I don't know why she gets so funny. Okay. And she's like, well, you should get a white for non-nose celebration. And she's like, I always get them white mom by the kids hating Theresa calling every single time.

So Theresa and Dolores and Jen are talking into lorissa's like, listen, all right, Jackie, Jackie came downstairs. I pulled out a mop bucket I don't know what the hell is gonna go on with her just it needs to be done all right she's gonna be happy when you speak to Evan Teresa and Teresa like I don't want to talk to no man yeah she doesn't want to talk to no man um and Dolores is like well she's scared to talk to a man because look at the man she was married to and then we get like Joe Judice is great as it's like my fucking cut fitness white

Shut the fuck up, okay? Stupid face what you gonna do? So then it's terrible to laugh at that but every time they cut to the vineyard I die laughing because that was just horrible And Teresa really stood up for him the entire time. I'm like, why was this secretary? Yeah. So that so he's a secretary of cup fitness. That's great. That's all. That's okay. So then Teresa tells us one of the reasons why she doesn't want to, you know, talk to Evan as she goes, you know, I mean, Jackie's the one who involved her husband. So she can take care of it with them. It's like you, she didn't involve you create the rumor about that.

It's been Jackie was, Jackie did not just like create this rumor and then involve Evan. Yeah. Oh, so now everybody's getting ready and Bill comes and Bill comes in. Bill is in full. Bill, this entire episode. He's like, hey girl, hey, hmm. And the lures is like, look at this gentleman. You are set.

No one can sex up a bowling shirt like you, Bill. Okay. Yeah, Jennifer goes, look at you. I guess, look at you. Looks like I missed some fireworks last night. We having eggs for breakfast, I'll just take some tea. Mm. So then Teresa's like, is Bill here?

I am Bill. Bill here. What's that awful noise? Get me out of here. Oh, Teresa, you look divine. Hi, Teresa. Hey. awful noise get me out of here oh Teresa you look divine She goes what are we eating a bagel and a bathing suit And just like we're telling them what happened with you. You know when he started everything

And Laura's just like listen, you know what Teresa was going through a hard time. You know, her divorce is finalized. The kids are rolled. She tried to fit a deal to the size of a small horse up herself all night long, and I had to listen. Listen, do you need me to keep going on with reasons why Teresa's really the victim here or not? No, but that baby. Yeah. So, yes.

So basically, Dolores is like, you you know what Teresa is going to make good today So don't worry about it. Yeah, Teresa don't reash don't reash. Okay. Sorry. I sort of ruined your hair That was you have to go and dry it again and Teresa is like oh, no, I'm not listen I'm gonna say stay out of my face. I'll stay out of your face Which is gonna be really hard because your face is really big and stupid But I'm gonna stay away from it, you know. And then Jen and Bill go upstairs and cause they're gonna get changed whatever

and so Jen is going up the stairs before Bill and he looks up and goes, ooh, look at that booty girl. Mm. So back at Mel's house, everybody's laying out by the pool deciding between a right, wavefront and the boat. Right? So Bill and Jan are talking.

And she's like, look what I got. Look what Theresa gave us. And it's like humongous, you know, the vibrator. And he's like, what is that? She goes, I want your new business, not sure. And he's like, what are you gonna use that for? Use it on my back. Lower, little lower please.

Lower. Lower, no, lower, almost there. News it on my back. Lower. Lower please. Lower. Lower. Lower. Almost there. Hmm. Hmm. Keep going until I look like a tripod baby.

Fun in games. What goes on at the shore stays at the shore. I'll be the bagel. Well, she told Jackie to stick this up her ass baby. Well in her defense it is what it's made for. It's like a frickin' shit show over here bare. Everyone is yelling. I got yod that for no reason. You would have thought I walked in with 15 over cook pizza burgers Well, I don't know that you should have said anything because what happens a boys, man

Should stay there. Hmm. And she's like well Margaret was jumping down the throat And if she says something about today, I'm gonna He's like, hmm good for you of course lower now And he's like, hmm, good for you. Of course. Lower. Now, you run along. I'm going to see what this little pack massage you really can do.

Mm. Come on, let's go. So they all pack into a van to go to Melissa's house. And you're talking about wave runners, of course. And then Jackie is still stuck, of course. She's like, you know what, if Evan comes in hot today, I'm just going to have to drive away. You know, this is just, I'm just, Evan, Evan's coming.

Evan's coming. So everyone starts arriving. And Marge is like, you know what? Just say what you did, listen, right? You know, I don't want the girl to shut, to suck the life out of us. You, Evan, I mean, this has to be done today, to say what is going to happen with Teresa. Everyone's just basically like this Teresa has to apologize and this is

going to be like a triple lutz. I'm trying to think of a good Olympic thing. A triple lutz stick it heels over your back axle, you know, for Teresa because she just does not know how to do this. She doesn't. And for some reason, I wrote down that of Joe Gorgas as the Joe Benino. Joe, you want to drink Joe? I don't have to do this. She doesn't. And for some reason, I wrote down that Joe Gorgas says, Joe, but you know, Joe, you wanna drink Joe? I don't know why I wrote that to. I think it's because I was amused that he had to say Joe twice in a sentence.

It's like that's the most Gorgas thing. Like they have to get as many Joe. Hey Joe, you wanna have a drink, Joe? Hey Joe, you wanna drink Joe? Joe, you wanna drink Joe? Get you to go. Joe, Joe, you wanna drink Joe? Do you want some Joe, Joe?

Joe, you wanna say, you wanna, you wanna a cup of morning Joe, Joe? Huh? Huh? Ha! Ha! Ha! Joe, you want drink Joe? Do you want some JoJo? Joe, you want to, you want a cup of morning JoJo, huh? Huh? Ha! Ha! It's a Teresa, hello. And she walks up to Jackie all like awkwardly,

because well, she's Teresa, and that's how she walks. She's like, Glick, glick, glick, glick. Ah, ah, I'm a list of ghosts. Let him talk, let him talk. And then everyone's staring. It's like one foot away from them They're all scared Marge, especially is like mm-hmm. I can't wait to hear this

So she's like listen Jackie. I mean, I don't like the way the things when thing I'm not trying to heart use it your family, so you know what let's just drop it. I mean You know, I would I would like that. I would like that. I just want to be all done be careful to reason She's about to cry She goes I would like it to be done to but do not bring up my husband to be marching I won't you know and maybe you could tell them that because you know I don't like talking to your husband and Jackie because you can do it with both of us there Okay that because you know I don't like talking to your husband and Jackie because you can do it with both of us there okay

We'll talk we'll talk we'll be like three cubes of cheese in a bowl. Okay, we'll all just be safe and sound Okay, and Jackie Joseph you had no problem talking about him so you can talk to him. Okay, let's see how you enjoy back one And for those of you guys who are watching crap is on demand. I just pulled my mat back so And for those of you guys who are watching crap is on demand, I just pulled my mat back. So, so pretty much everything is good. And, you know, Joe's like, thank you, Jesus, huh? So, you know, Teresa says, tells us that she doesn't feel comfortable talking to Evan. She says this again, that she doesn't feel comfortable talking to Evan. She goes, you know, we know where I come from, the wife makes it right with the husband, but I'm old school that way.

I'm like, Teresa, the word school should never come out of your mouth. It's just not a concept. Not new school, not old school, not school crossing. I mean, no school. Fish. No schools. No schools. I mean, you shouldn't even say that school because there's an S and a cool in there.

Okay, just no Teresa. Yeah, there's some S and a cool in there, okay? Just now Theresa. So, so now Malice is giving a tour of her house because some of them have not been to her house before. So they're walking around and Dolores is like, Dolores is basically saying everything you'd expect to say on a house tour, which is, this is such a dream, this is a dream.

This is, now I have a question. When you need to walk into the living room, since this is open concept, when do you know when you've arrived? You know, it's hard to tell, because when you get all the living room to the kitchen, how do you know when you've switched rooms? That's an important part of the journey for me. Yeah, so these people are hilarious, because Melissa's like, okay, so here's my house.

Okay, so you know, in houses, how they used to have like a wall, and then like they would have a room over there And then they would have a wall and like a room over here and floris because open concepts Melissa. It's open Cons she's like yeah open No, that's the bar. That's why I have a bar is open sign over there. That's the open concept. No, Melissa It's a concept in design. You know what never mind, just keep us on this tour. So guess what? Evans here, Evan is finally shown up and so he walks up and Jackie like runs over and gives him like a really big hug and everything and that entry says like, I feel bad. I feel bad now. Like of course now Teresa feels bad. Yeah, and Jackie's doing those overcompensating kisses where she's like

and he pulls away and she still like lips open like trying to make it last forever. It's like we get it Jackie okay your husband didn't cheat on you okay. So Teresa's like oh my god what am I supposed to do to it and march like just say sorry try it right now. Sorry. and March like just say sorry try it right now sorry So Evan comes over to the group he's like hi Hi hi hi and he says hi that tree says hi Evan He kisses around the cheek very politely and she's like, you know what? Yeah, I'm happy you're here You know, I'm sorry about like you know, you know I'm like, you know everything that went down and you know

I like I never want to do not end up hurt you guys, you know, so like you know Yeah, I'm in Jackie and Evan are both like okay great. That's all we need it. Yeah, that's all I needed That's all I needed is that all you need to check I needed okay, we're gonna let let everything go Mount Teresa. Oh, yeah, you know what? This is gonna be the best. Let's have fun I'm hard to go. Honestly, that's one of the weakest apologies I've ever seen But you know what coming from Teresa is a freaking miracle. Okay, the Red Sea basically just parted in a couple of twin Camels went running through one to a boat that's gonna take them to heaven. I don't know. I mean, it was a miracle.

So, uh, so then Jackie, then Jackie goes and tracks him with the average like, are you feeling okay? Are you feeling like, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Are you sure? Are you sure? You can have fun today. Okay, you can have fun. I packed you a little lunch. Is it in a paper? I brown paper bag. You're gonna really like it. Okay. Have fun make friends. Okay. Now Let's kiss too hard. Okay, you're pulling away too soon again, Evan. You're pulling away too soon We're proving something here and get back here. He's like, oh my god. Jesus. Leave me alone. I'm not even thinking about it anymore All right, so Joe Tells Tury say he's like, let me tell you something the way you handled that. I'm proud of you's and she's like, yeah

Come on. I always do the right thing. Come on. You literally always does the wrong thing every single time. And she's like, You know, I just want to squash it because we have to remember why we're here. So we can fuck like the old days.

No, but no, no, also. Yeah, yeah, okay, that too. I like that, Teresa, wants this whole weekend to be perfect for No No, while her storyline for the weekend is fucking herself into Laura's house with her new line of vibrators. I'm gonna show them.

Yeah. So now it's time to put on water sports. So it's like some people are gonna go on wave runners and some people are gonna go on the boat. And so, Joe Gorgos. Bill Gorgos. Bill Gorgos goes get some action baby

Yeah, cuz Gloria goes doctor. Are you gonna go on the wave run over with your wife? He goes yes So Jackie shows having their room. I check are you still okay? This is your room. You okay here? Oh my god You know what this is our bathroom so you can poop as much as you want. He's like I already got three poop sets I'm so jealous. How do you feel about the apologies? It's so good. He's like oh my god Heart kiss heart kiss and the accidents the bathrooms right there any accidents you good okay So they get out and they do water day water toys day and Bills on the way, fronter with Jen, which is hilarious. I mean, I don't really even have much to say.

It's just basically just like this. Ooh, yeah. Oh, yes, girl. Yes. I thought Joe Biddyino is so cute because everyone, all the guys were going in the water. They were like to take up the shirts, put the life preserve around,

but he put it over his t-shirt. I was like, oh, sweet Joe Bidino into the little shirt in the whole night. Yeah, that's why Chubby people hang out together in general. I don't want to go to a pool party where all my friends take off their shirts like The hell am I supposed to do you know? I want it to be like one of those fat cruises like I have a friend

He goes on fat cruises and he and his man they take these pictures and it's just like 500 fat guys in speedos like Like give me their number Give me the number to this cruise I'm like can we their number? Give me the number to this cruise So he's driving around he crashes into the boat and Jen is wave running, but we get some Jen backstory She's like being on here This way from us It reminds me of traveling to Turkey. Like what?

Yeah, and by the way this story you think the story just gonna kind of end there like oh summers in Turkey But then it's just like keeps going in this strange. There was a cafe that I used to go to with my family, and I would sit there, and I was good. People walked to the place, you could sit there, watch the people go around, fagfag! Once I became of edge, they found a suit, I would go to the cafe, and everyone would stare at me, at my mom would say the staring at you because they want to bury you so shut up and smile Baby and I would and then they put up a picture of her as a teenager and she's got bleached blonde hair and my Little mini skirt and a crop top and these big sunglasses and a feather boa. I'm like and you're wondering why they're staring at you How is the most attractive person at the cafe with the staircase okay, baby

That's hilarious what is this story and then me while on the boat like a bunch of the girls are on there in the bikinis and Evans Like this is like a woot tan clan video. I'm like the exact opposite but fine sure If anything, it's like honey by Mariah but anyway so So then they're on this boat and then Teresa so jack and Evan are sitting next to each other and Teresa is like Oh get together get together. I'm gonna take a photo. I'm gonna take a photo So she's take a picture of jack and Evan like his hands on her is like a nice moment and and Jackie's like You know what one minute this woman is, it's like so so freaking evil. And then next she's so fun.

Like all I know is that like I'm ready to put this behind this and have an Evan are you okay? Are you okay? You okay? The waves are the waves okay? You making your tummy hurt a little bit? You okay? So they they talked about and everybody's getting off and Teresa tells Jackie

now and she goes, please don't throw me in. And Jackie's like, oh yeah, I said please don't throw me in. So awkward, they both just stand there laughing too hard. Oh, good. So then we get food delivery, okay. So now everybody's congratulating Teresa on at least acting like a decent human being

for five minutes in one episode. Yes. And Lurus is like, wow, I'm so happy you talk to Evan. She's, I like the guy. I'm right. But you know, she just doesn't get me that girl. She's just, yeah, like I said, you speak a different language.

You know, she speaks educated English. You beat your chest and throw oranges at people. She can string words together. You like to slam your hands at windows. You she she she can she understands simple concepts. And you like to attack Godzilla. So she understands trains of thoughts you ran trains in junior high Okay, it's two different girls two different girls

You have today she's like well at least today you at least learned how to say hello in her language So everybody's eating and They're talking about like how fun the water is and all that stuff and everyone's so happy now the guys So I couldn't this great look the ladies ain't even fighting and nothing right and Teresa goes oh, oh, yeah I wanted to tell you guys. I've been having trouble sleeping at the Deldo helped me go to bed It helped me go to bed and helped me and release his son and Joe goes it releases poison right the poison that girl is poison so I do the Lord's plan huh it's like the wooden plan said that girl is poison am I right? I love that when when Joe Gorgger goes it will ease the poison Dolores just goes the poison

That's the poison You know what you and the poison just speak different languages. That's all so So Jennifer's like yeah, baby. I didn't use mine in bed because I thought it'd be kind of weird to masturbate in the bed and to rap Melissa's house. I'm a rap baby. And Melissa's like, yeah, I mean, that is kind of weird.

Trees is like, wine. And Jen says, well, sex is okay in your bed, but masturbate, and I don't know how about that one. And Marge's like, yeah, but I didn't even have sex last night.

It was just too crazy. And Joe's like, you better have sex, I'm like, this is a happy place. Everybody got a bowl of my house. No, I was very happy. I just noticed that there happened to be a drawing of a whale on the wall and that really triggers me. I can't get sexual if I see a whale. You know what I'm saying?

Bid you dines. So everybody's peaceful. So of course, Jen has to ruin it all because you know, it's been Jen doing this the whole fucking time, right? We all know that. So Jen's like, all in large. So you're okay with Joe today, because I've never seen you some mad at him, baby. And she's like, well, you know what?

I don't think it was the appropriate time to bring it up, but I didn't bring it up. She's never too sure to told Teresa in the first place. No, no, you started shit and purposely hit someone and Jackie's like, you know, you kept it going Jennifer You know what to reminder to reset brought it up, baby So then Joe Gorega's like, okay, all the boys all the boys., let's get out of here. All those silly women are about to have a fight. Let's go over there and talk about them, huh? So much like you a shit starting again. You know what?

I have to write to have my opinion Jennifer. She's, I still, I better. And just like, oh my god, what is wrong with them? They can't even stop over there. Back with Jen, Jen goes, I mean, I thought the way you treat a J has been with a barison I mean you just talk said down to him and she just let me fucking tell you something Jan She's yeah, that's how she was speaking to a husband last night Okay, you know what I'm gonna fucking tell you something okay?

Don't get between me and my husband, okay? Cause the way you behave in front of your husband, you embarrass your entire family, okay? You do, all right? And then we have a flashback of Jen falling on her face at the pool party and everything. And Mario's, you know what? I think you're a sloppy drunk, okay?

If that's the way you wanna behave, then fine, but you're a sloppy drunk. You're like basically like a bowl of cheese and run, let's go out and just all over the place. Okay. Oh, well, you've had some slapping moments. You slept with your boss and everybody just stops and they're like, Oh, everyone just gets that. Oh, no, look on their face. I'm just like, you know what, you see such a douchebag. I'm sloppy. I was sleeping with my boss when I was 20,

was not me being sloppy, okay? That was a man in a position of power, taking advantage of me, a young girl. You started at night, you see what kind of person you are? You know, I share it to a very intimate moment. And I said of intimate and vulnerable moment in my life. What vomiting was that your intimate moment it moment was it vomiting Jennifer? It was literally not an intimate or vulnerable moment at all

It was her getting wasted off of like de Kila Pong. There's like nothing vulnerable about that. Oh, yeah, you know Sad at at most so we're the guys jokos god all I hear over there is Margaret's mouth and Benino says She's got the lungs. You know what? You know why you never fight with your husband, Jennifer, because he's the fucking meal ticket for you and your entire fucking family. You know what? I can't stand like I'm going out. I'm leaving, which by the way, had to be said, it did have to be said at some point. So Jen's like, what? This is my fault. Go against her. When's this gonna end?

All the women in the crazy, is that my right, guys? When's this ever going to end? Evan goes, you know what? I've noticed, meals bring out the worst in them if you think about it, you know? And then we get a montage of every meal being like, yeah, what the fuck you? And things go flying.

And he goes, you know what? We should just take a protein bar with us and just say, you know, keep doing activities, girls. Just keep doing activities. Now I see why she and Jackie are a match. She's like, we don't have to have a meal. I'll have my yoga, some veggie snaps. That's fine, that's all we need.

So inside Margaret is now just like ranting, you know, rightfully so. She's like, I said that in a very sensitive moment You know, we would like George in front of the camera crew and there was a monster in the woods It was a very sensitive moment. Okay, and she's taking advantage of it. Okay, and then Teresa's like, you know You just go ahead and stay home and be a concubine. I'm right to see how that works out for you Yeah, and Teresa's like, well, you know, she's dead in her opinion like whatever and Jennifer goes Well, she didn't like my opinion. I don't have to like her opinions.

Lapidron, ha, badass. I mean, Santa, he's my meal ticket. And the Lord's Ghost, listen, you know, I wouldn't say that. You had five kids for him, okay?

But didn't you learn last night, Jennifer? All right. Like, if it's not true, just don't repeat things, okay? Just no one told me not to say anything. I mean, why wouldn't I say something that would have told me not to say anything. I mean why wouldn't I say something down by the time and not bad? Yeah, who needs judgment right?

Listen, I'm, listen, you're talking to a girl was the most looked at girl in 1997 on the staircase in Turkey, okay? So Dolores is like, she's like, Jennifer's like that little kid, you know, that little five year old kid that just repeats things they don't want them to. It's like that time, Frankie said, Hey, mom, why was dad masturbating on the couch last night? I said, Frankie, not hearing church, you know what I'm saying? So they all decide now it's the time to have split up

and everybody go get ready for dinner so stop this fight, right? So in the van, Jennifer's like, What's he even talking about slap a drunk, repressed famous friend, like, what's even talking about sloppy drunk repressed famous for her mother? Because she's the type of drunk. That's what it is. Better. I ain't a sloppy drunk. And then, and then meanwhile Margaret is just rage lipstick. She just has her lipstick and she's just going around in circles on her message. I'm just going to wrap. I can't, I can't, I can't. So then, um, Marge, she, you know, she's an asshole. That's what she is. She's just a huge asshole. And Jennifer's just like ranting in the van about her, you know, they're basically just like always having a drunk mom? I mean, maybe there's something wrong with your marriage.

That said, maybe you could be sloppy for sleeping with your boss to get ahead, because that's what she did. Shut up with the boss, you got a hand. I mean, like, got a head of what? Right? Shut up. Here's what I did, baby. I slept with no one.

I was left behind. How about that, baby? How about if you want to get ahead, you go to a cafe. I'm talking, you stand on the the stack, it's happy, but look at you, baby. Dolores Marge is like, I'm gonna rip her to shreds. And then we cut back to Dolores talking to Jen, and she goes, listen, you did good until you said you were fucked by your boss. All right. So that, yeah, they're basically, uh, yeah, Jennifer's's like well, let's see if it's gonna be peaceful tonight I guess we'll just see and Dolores goes something tells me it's not gonna be a peaceful night

This fucking show and that brings us to the end of the real housewives of Nijizi more it was so good and we got a midseason trailer which felt a little early for me. It was only episode seven I don't know if they're gonna have like maybe a 14 episode thing or maybe they just wanted to air it after like a big crazy episode Yeah, I hope season COVID season baby. I love it. Yeah, I mean, I like these short seasons, but New Jersey's actually been really like excellent So I I don't want to be super short, you know what I'm saying? So keep it short, no matter what. I think it should always be like a 15 episode season than a three part reunion.

That's it, okay. Except for New York. Except for New York. Except for New York. New York and New York. I like them, I like them short. I like them short, wanting more until the next year. Just keep adding more cities if you want to have it on all day.

You know, I could, I could watch 30 cities. I have no problem with that Yeah, I mean What about Chicago and Boston? Why aren't they in the mix? How about that? How about that or it was a pass? Miami. Well Miami's coming back. You know allegedly if they put if they bring back Miami and put it exclusively on peacock I am gonna write a story That's what I mean that's what the news is saying anyway. That's probably, yeah, I probably already knew that. I probably already knew that, which is why I was already in my head. Like, I don't want Miami exclusively on peacock, because I'm not buying peacock. I'm not buying. I'm sorry. I'm not buying.

I keep saying that, but you know, here I sit with Discovery Plus. Like, nobody loves that. You know, I'm not doing peacock. I'm not buying peacock. If they want to give us peacock for free So that way they can promote their shows fine, and that is an and not so veiled You know, please, but I'm not I'm not buying it for my real housewives, okay? Yeah, yeah We're too late. We're too. Okay, everybody. We sure love you. Thanks for being with us We will talk to you next time. Bye Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Thanks for being with us. We will talk to you next time. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like Allison King

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