Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Throwing Sh-Ayden

Episode Date: March 6, 2020

The season ten reunion of Real Housewives of New Jersey started this week, and no one was ready to scream more than Jennifer Ayden. When she wasn't hurling "ARE TOO!" insults at the women, she was accusing them of self-absorption, bad parenting, and pretty much anything else she could think of. In other words, it was hilarious. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens

What Guess what happens when they're so happy? Kids what happens when they're so happy? Kids what happens when they're so happy? Kids what happens when they're so happy? Kids what happens when they're so happy? Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, the real house where it's a kitchen island,

which I'm in the process of drawing a new episode. I'm so excited. Go check that out on YouTube and subscribe because it needs subscribers to be worthwhile in the age of social media. And joining me is someone who needs subscribers only because he deserves them. It's Ronnie Carram from the Rose Pricks Batcher Rose podcast.

Hi Ronnie. Oh, hi, man. How are you doing today? I'm just doing great, honey. How are you doing? What's going on? Tell me everything. Oh my goodness. There's so much to discuss. First of all, it's a crap. It's on demand day, which means you can see Ronnie and me on camera, not just listen to us so you can see my bedhead. My bedhead is very special because when I have bedhead my hair flips up almost like the roof of like a 1960s gas station so it is currently doing its little swoop at the moment so you can go check that out and The reason why I have such bedhead is because I was out last night. I went out on the town. Whoa I went and saw Hannah Burner's stand-up comedy over here in L.A. She did a show

So I went to see it and that was super cool because got to see Hannah and on top of that She and I was there. I got to see she and I was so special So tell us guess who I saw nobody, okay? And I see anybody to anything. Just me all alone watching love is blind. Jesus. Well, my ass love is blind. That's okay. Well, you know, that's that's also a worthwhile experience. We're actually going to recap. We're going to do a love is blind bonus episode coming up very soon once a couple of weeks. Yeah. once we are so infuriating.

Oh my god, I got so mad watching that. So they're like, oh, it's only, it's totally based on books, but then all the hot people would base it on like how hot the other person sounded. And of course they give each other hot people code where they're like, I was a cheerleader. It's like, oh yeah, I'm so shocked that you're a hot girl. Okay. Yeah, they're all attractive by the way. It's like, yeah, it's love survived. Can love survive when lots of hot people don't know that they're hot first. That's basically yeah, some people were hotter than others. Like some people are hot in the way that like, I mean, I guess they take general care of themselves, you know, it's like, oh, he shaved his ear as he's hot, you know.

But yeah, there were no stinkers in there. Like there was no job of the hut in there that was like, how was the cheerleader, whatever, and the thing, I'm getting together. Yeah, I don't think so. I feel like I saw in the first episode, I feel like I saw a bunch of people hanging around. They're like weird headquarters. It's like this weird, it starts off in such a strange sort of sci-fi place. And I saw some people kind of lingering around that I never saw again, some strange, strange

unhot people who never- Yeah, they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and

they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, homely ones got murdered. And they can tell, I'm telling you, they can tell whose voice is belongs to the homely people, because the least hot of the girls to make it through or to like find a man was had a dumb girl voice, you know, she had like hot girl voice, I shouldn't say dumb girl, but she had that like, she had that voice. And so she got picked, even though she was Jessica. She had that voice and so she got picked even though she was Jessica. No, no, no, Jessica.

Yeah, and of course the hot, both the hottest guys liked Jessica the best because she sounded like the biggest idiot. I know. We're going to get to it. Look, this is the first time I'm actually wanting to have really discussed it right now is this. So stay tuned everyone. We will have that on our bonus episode. In the meantime, today we're gonna be talking Real House wasn't in Jersey reunion part one. And before we do that, just a quick shout out

to Salt Lake City because we're going there on March 19th. So go see us. It's get your tickets at watchocrapants.com and then not too long after that. We're going to on March 19th. So go see us. It's get your tickets at watchocrapants.com and then not too long after that. We're going to Charleston and Orlando. We don't know what we're doing for Salt Lake City and for Orlando shows yet, but we know for sure we are recapping the season premiere of Real Housewives of New York in Charleston to a huge venue. We got some other big venues. We're going to be doing the Wilbur and Boston, the iconic Wilbur, and we're also going to be doing Lincoln Theater in DC, as well as several

other places that, and many of them are actually starting to get low ticket counts. So go to WatcherCrapins.com to get your tickets and to get your merch. We have a new Ben Ron. What is it? Ben Ron for president. What is it, Ronnie? Yeah, Ben Ron 2020 vote. Hip-a-? Ben Ron 2020 vote HIPAACRA. Yeah, it's an awesome shirt, so go check that out. And now let's get on to the big ol' recap for Real Housewives of New Jersey. What? What? Real Housewives of New Jersey.

What a season. You know, it's very rare to see something come back like this from the dead and you've done it Jersey Done I did it you you have So the reunion starts off They're all gathered around and this is literally Andy's first question Jennifer in the last year you've treated yourself to an overhaul of sorts tell us what work you've had done I was like good to see some things never change. And then and then Jennifer's like, she goes, well, Andy, my first procedure was the breast

reduction and literally, she's like, okay, and then my lipa section in the back, oh wow, and November, I had a tummy time. I'm sorry, I'm like doing both their voices at the same time, it's getting weird. And then I had a tummy thunk. He's like, yeah, yeah. He's like basically jerking off into the plants. Yeah, he loves some good ladies plastic surgery talk. By the way, Andy, get some. Okay, I'm not saying you have to jack up your face, but don't you have mayonnaise?

You're rich. Why do you look so exhausted? He looks like he's been the president for like 19 terms. I thought he was a baby. He is exhausted. Uh, yeah, I get, I mean, get some help. You're rich. I don't want to see tired rich people because they have babies. Okay. You have so much to care of that fucking thing. Okay. That's why you wait until you're in your 50s and you're wealthy. So you can have people. That's true. That's true. And the beer doesn't know. Yeah.

The beard. Oh, yeah. The beard. Well, I'm not working today. No, no, no. I mean, I think a beard looks very good on you, Ronnie. But I just think that Andy's beard tends to make him look exhausted and weathered. It's like not an authoritative beard. It's like a, I'm trying a lookout, because John Mayer said, hey, you should try a beard.

So I've been trying. And it hasn't really worked out for me. That's what it's giving me. Yeah. So we find out about plastic surgery. That's fine. And then Jackie and Marjor rolling their eyes and Teresa's like, why not? So then we, uh, then it's like so delirious What's with the house and so it's like the house is built and we see an image of the house and the kitchen has like three giant islands in it. It looked like a chemistry lab from high school I was like this is not a kitchen You did

Yeah, you're gonna have to take a part of God damn frog on that on that countertop I know I'm gonna be like putting on goggles to protect myself from hydrochloric acid at this point. I know Dolores is like you know Frankie came down. He fucked with the Bunsen burner. It's taken me all day to mess with that get it back in the shape But this is what I do. It's what mothers do You know what he's learned a lot of good things. He knows how to do what are now the chemistry way. It's great. Uh, so we find out that she is living with David, but at her house, David

has moved in with her in Frank because she won't move into the house. It's not ready yet, really, but we find out really why later. And then Jackie, do you have any regrets? I mean, you haven't really had anything done similar face. I mean not exactly the same But I'd like to see bigger boobs you ever gonna get bigger boobs Jackie And Jackie's just like um, yeah having a fun time Andy. Thanks for having me here Yeah, well well Congratulations to Lisa you made it 10 seasons. Let's look at a montage of our favorite

boob jobs over the past 10 years. Roll it, Pan. Yeah, that's a good boob job. Oh, yeah. Oh, look, that's actually a tummy tuck right there. Oh, lips. I love that. Looks great.

Wow. What are we doing here again? So much silicone. Great job. So she's like last time you were, or last time you were here, you were pregnant. She's one member of the way you were pregnant. And she's like, yeah, pregnant. Yeah, Joe's doing good.

The girls went over to have a Christmas and did, but I can't go somewhere where they don't allow cars up hills, Andy. Well, guess what? In honor of the first Jersey reunion, which was largely viewed as the ugliest set in reunion history, we decided to play O-MOS, to basically make the same set,

and making it uglier. Wow, look around. Let's take that first set and just add clutter to it. No, it's terrible. Yeah more backlighting Let's have more walls with those little LED strips running up to sides So Andy let's start with the most boring of all the housewives this year even though I kind of liked her But her story lines are bullshit. In her name is Melissa. Melissa you're boring Yeah, I don't give any fucks anymore Andy But her story lines are bullshit. Inter name is Melissa. Melissa, you're a boy! Check out. I don't give any fucks anymore, Andy.

And he's like, wow, your voice sounds terrible. What's going on? She's like, I've had Laren gyda. I'm like, Andy, you're one to talk. You've had the worst smokers rast for the past like five years. You're like, oh, what's going on these days? Yeah. And since when, how's on her voice sounded terrible. Have you heard on display? I mean come on

So we get a Melissa segment And then when we coming back and he's like so We're back to the gorgeous. He's so I'm really low Sponsor's going on with Joe Gorg She's like actually I thought it was pretty funny and he and chance like well I don't know. It's very suspect for someone he brags so much. I was like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like,

what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, what's your like, It's like oh who you kidding whatever who cares. She's the rich one here not me. I don't even care anymore Talking about Jackie. Yes, so so Melissa still thinking about freezing her eggs and Jennifer's she's not having a baby a She's way too set the sword and Melissa's like did she say I'm what way too self-absorbed? And he's like that's exactly what she said That's not great. Go on Jennifer. Do another one Well you had a birthday party I think it was off thing Mveta and then everything was Mveta Mveta Mveta

Hey, and he goes. Yeah. Oh, sorry. He goes. What was the theme of your birthday? And she's like meh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh- I need to do is go to a party where Jennifer is swinging out over the crowd giving everyone consumption. Yeah, just coughing blood, although not these days, not these days. Jennifer, please give me examples of being self-absorbed. I'm like besides the huge one that she just gave Okay, so I said the constant self-ass, the constant self-accalice I'm sick here. I mean you just scrolled your Instagram like you look so good Melissa Gorka you look so good And then just like since like I never do that who said I did that. I heard it from someone I heard it from someone. I'm like that is the worst rumor to hear I heard The Melissa Gorga looks at her Instagram and goes I look so good

Yeah, it's the stylist it's always the style. Yeah, it is exactly Well 100% it's Priscilla. So Jennifer's based like, I just think that you with this pregnancy thing, she's making a mockery of people are really going through it. And Melissa's like, why would I fake it? Why would I fake it? She's like, well, you know, your career's taken off.

And so a baby would help your journey. And meanwhile, she's just sitting there while Jennifer is like, basically, like making fun of Melissa one and have another baby, which oddly enough, I'm a little bit on Jennifer's side on this one. The baby thing was so ridiculous. Yeah, it's bullshit. It's another season of bullshit. And I'm so glad they called Melissa out on it. Yeah. So, uh, so Andy is just like...

But then Marge reacts the way that she does. She's like, uh, so Andy's just like, but then Marge, Marge reacts the way that she does. She's like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. And Andy is just like, has a huge smile. He loves this. He's like, actually we're not talking. You said the reason why you weren't for this baby is because he said she was self-absorbed. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

say it again, say it again, fight. I love when she says a mockery. Melissa goes, a mockery. You're saying, I don't even know what that means. What is that? And he's like, she's saying that you're lying, you're faking it. Yeah.

So Jackie's like, yeah, do you know what Jennifer? You set women back, working women have babies all the time Jennifer and some situations, but a death situation I'm calling bullshit. Yeah, Jennifer's just coming out swinging. He is, she's going nuts and so Andy then turns to Theresa and he's like, so your friend Jennifer just said that your sister-in-law is do self-absorbed have another baby Possibly she's an idiot. She doesn't know how to use Instagram correctly and she chops down trees in Brazil for fun So what do you think about that Teresa? He's like, but do you think it she goes I don't think she should be seeing all the ways that baby right now.

And Melissa's like, no, and that's why I would hire help. You know, I mean, it's my decision because that child would be raised different than my other children, but. And Andy's like, well, Melissa, thanks for a great, thanks for we've got more to pile on you. The boom, the boom, you were thinking of fake idiot. T'lula from Bankhead says she's sick of your tie-and-fake storylines. The restaurant.

This is her, the baby. And she sides the blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank. Anything to say about that? Most like, no, the restaurant was real. It was a real restaurant. And this guy, he really screwed us over majorly Because it turns out it was not a restaurant at all. It was it was just a photo studio that we took promotional photos at But I thought it was a restaurant And we're about to long last Sister I you know, I went I went to that psychic. I really did go and I saw her in person. And she told me that I owed $5.

Turns out she was the told booth operator on the Jersey Turnpike, but I got confused. She goes, but I really did turn 40. And I'm really confused whether I wanna leave, whether I wanna have a baby at this stage in life. And she had to first say, I was believed that if you actually back through the process, you know, whether I want to have a baby at this stage in my event. And Jennifer is like, I was believed that if you actually back through the process, Melissa goes, I did, I went through

everything. I'll accept the part where I freeze the egg. Oh, so you didn't go through anything. So you went into the actual place. The burger. I did do it and didn't do it. Yeah, Margaret's like, so you wanted to have in vitro and have a baby just to pray that she is that was that what you want is that is that what you want is that is that what you want

I'm trying to pray goes. Yes. Yes, it is. I thought she was like how would love that So then Olivia from Reno says Hey, Marge you've been hinting that you want to get a boob lift all season Please are please don't you that was the, that was what she said. And then Annie goes, so you're gonna get a boob job. Uh, uh, uh. And you know, but these boobs, do you have long it took my bibs to get ready today? I mean, and then they show her in the back.

So like, oh my god, get them to here. They get to say go. All right, lift up here. Get them to this flap. All right, get them to, you know what? Crawl unto me. They get to say go all right lift up here get under this flap all right Crawl unto me. Crawl unto me. All right now lips lift the broom up all right. Okay. All right. All right Watching cargo being put on to a bar. Oh Well, I mean, it's because you wear the girl file. You're wearing them out right now. It's like when it when it's supposed to be a turtle that to it.

So what you got it showed. I was just killing turtles now wearing their next round of chess. Is that the deal? Wow. And you say I'm a bad mom. So, hey, Margaret. so how do you say financially? Oh, so Margaret's like, you know, so actually turns out that Jones, many apartments, okay? And we don't discuss that, okay? Mainly because they're all haunted. And also, Joey's just very successful. And he just doesn't really need to leave the house, okay?

And Teresa and Dolores are just rolling their eyes and laughing at her. Also, where is Jennifer losing her mind? Okay. And Teresa and Dolores are just rolling their eyes and laughing at her. Also, where is Jennifer losing her mind? Because Jennifer was so mad that Jackie was secretly sitting on, you know, giant stash of money, but she doesn't seem to be mad about Margaret, who like Joe is secretly very rich. I guess the difference is that there was never a pizza party issue. I guess the pizza party is what really breaks it. Marjorie really spends money on parties

and that's all that Jen cares about, right? Yeah, so Andy's exhaled in your mind. You use the well as your low though. Check, no Andy, no, no, it wasn't the low guy. All right, he was the whale and I put on some shorts. I'd runically enough, Daisy Dukes. Like, it was, they were, it's right. And then they

suit me and I settled with them and then I paid them $300,000. They said she's still osmati. I said, don't I don't, I already paid you about it. And then we had to get a quad because they said I didn't know I'm money, my husband's so fucking hot and he's ready to go to the party. That's it. Commissions. Here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

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Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey! Shannon out of a can an Anthony. Incredible edible Matthewsisters. Mina Kuchikuchi! And, she ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. We love you guys. So, um, now we have like a montage of Margaret. Marge versus Marge, not really versus,

but Marge and Marge senior, not really versus, but Marge and Marge scene, you're in Marge scene, you're moving out. And then when we come back, you know, that there's questions about, is the reason why Margaret doesn't drink because of her mom. And she's like, yeah, because basically my mom was always a mess. And like, you know, listen, let me tell you something, okay, my mother, she's a Hungarian immigrant. She came over when she was young. She had work parties. People were skinny dipping in the pool. It was the 70s. You never knew what was going on, so I couldn't drink.

And I didn't have family to eat. Am I my boyfriend's leftover? I put shower together. Could you imagine, Andy? Could you imagine? I just like, do you have a thing about showering with men? What is that? This is true.

Well, here's the thing. OK, so my mother shoot Hungarian immigrant. There was skinny dipping. It was the 70s. She only took baths. So to this day, I can only take showers, because I just can't be like my mother. And Andy's like, well, what about your dad?

We never really hear about your dad. I'm interested in dads now, because I'm a dad. And she's like, well, he was out of, I can't read the grins. You know, it was basically like, hopscord play, run to proof. I don't even know what to say. You can see it, right?

I'm so happy. It was a tab in musical, never caught on. They had a lot of structural issues with the set, okay? I said, don't have to put up a full real obstacle in up there, Jan. And Jan was like, no, we need a real obstacle for... Anyway, the musical was a huge flop. I went and hit the obstacle, because the obstacle fell off the roof onto the stage. It fell off the roof, and it killed children. So that was it.

We never heard from him again. And now he's like, well, do you even know if he's alive? And he's like, you know what? Everyone says find him, but you know, here's what's gonna happen. You find him, he needs cash. And then I did get a psychic. And she said that he's dead.

He passed on. I said, good. What about Melissa's sister? She said she's working in a fake restaurant in heaven. So, you know, there you go. There you go, Anthony. It reminds me of one of the seminal songs from Hopsie Cut on the Roof.

It goes, mid-morning to mid-afternoon. They can go at the... It reminds me of one of the seminal songs from Hopsie Cut on the Roof. It goes... Mid-morning to mid-afternoon. Mid-morning to mid-afternoon. Oh, how the time passes a little bit! If I was a... If I was a... If I was a I was if I was if I was if I was a If I was a somewhat successful man

And either casual casual things I do casual things I do casual things I do I can't see anything, I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything.

I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. I can't see anything. Matchmaker, matchmaker, actually, that was the same because she actually bade batches. This, like, the piano fell off the roof, the matchmaker started it on fire.

That's how it is. That's what I would alert. Matchmaker, matchmaker, find me someone to have coffee with. Let's see how it goes. That's the miserable fuck. I don't know. No. So, Andy's like, so would your dad be impossibly dead because some sacking told you think that you married that old fucker

Jan who'd locked in closets because you were missing your dad And she's like I don't know at me, you know what he had a family. I like that. I didn't have to get pregnant It was great, you know, I didn't have to get pregnant until later. It was great. I think yeah I'm still thinking about her to go on the moon. I'm sorry Did you go fiddler on the roof? No, I didn't. I just was like laughing about it still. I was trying to think of those... You know those pianos that are like...

accordion? Yeah, accordion. I was trying to think of an accordion. accordion on the roof. That would make much sense. The harpsichord on the roof. Well, it's like, that's the reason why I didn't take off. Less or known source material for Fiddler. So now, so with the Laura say to people who think she's still sleeping with Frank and the Laura scows, all right. Let me put it this way. I haven't had sex with Frank since I conceived Frankie Jr. Okay, but what I do do with Frank is sometimes I walk from the kitchen to

the living room and back to the kitchen and pick up some pasta he's spilled on the floor. That's it. and pick up some pasta he spilled on the floor. That's it. That's it. All right. And he was like, well, what do you think about people who say, you should be banging them right now. So shut up, Andy. Seriously, just move to somebody else.

All right. I know, this is this, every single reunion you got to ask Delores this question. You little fucking twit. Just like, leave me alone, Andy. Little fucking moron. I came with the rectangle head today. Andy Talk to my rectangle head. Did you notice that she has a rectangle head today is the weirdest thing?

I did not I love her head is going back. It's I don't do you fill your head like is your head full of fill? I don't know, but it's a complete rectangle from front to back. It's the weirdest thing I'm assuming it's like a van der Pomp ponytail under a wig kind of a thing. Maybe like a square bump it. I'm not really sure about it. I couldn't stop looking at it. Okay. So what about a commitment from, you know, from the guy who lives under the bridge? And she's like, you know, what, Andy, I'm ready. I'm ready for him to move in, but I'm not moving in there. I'm not engaged. I'm good without a commitment. You know, he should want it for me, Andy in, but I'm not moving in there. I'm not engaged. I'm good without a commitment. You he should want it for me. And frankly, I'm resentful. You know, he's like a square tile in a sea of pebbles. Like he's a square tile in a sea of pebble tile. I guess what? I got a rectangle. I'm I'm brick shaped right now. Okay. I moved on to brick. All right. Yeah.

I moved on to brick, all right? Yeah. Month of bricks. I'm on the subway tile head, TNT. All right, that's it. So yeah, she's basically like, listen, there was a moment when I wanted to get engaged, he didn't ask the question. And now I'm sort of resentful,

which is why I'm still with him, which is almost like being married in and of itself. So she's trying to like explain her situation with David and Jennifer just keeps on interrupting with who knows what. I don't know. I don't even remember what you say. I think that that gets very time to be cut. She's trying to answer for Dolores. And finally Margot. She's just like could she just like talk for crying out loud?

I mean and Jennifer goes what? Shabbat you shabbat. I mean, and Jennifer goes, what? Charlotte, you shot it. Yeah. No, this is like we need to finish our sentences, Jen. And Andy's like, so, Jennifer, that was actually more of a reference to to recent Joe. Sorry, took me a minute. It's like, what?

OK, they're sometimes they take a moment to kick in like for to recent Joe. Jennifer's like, well, I okay, they're sometimes they take a moment to kick in. Like for every single. Jennifer's like, well, I think you know what, till now I said she's sad of that, and she's sad of, she's just glad that anytime she can, but this man probably doesn't care about her. And Andy's like, well, you seem like your pissed off. And Dolores is like, I am pissed.

You know why, Andy? Because I'm a catch. That's why I'm a real fucking catch. I really, I really am. You know what? I don't ask for a lot. But when I say a show up at Melissa's party, show up. Okay.

When I say meet me at Maz's gym, meet me at Maz's gym. Okay. When I say it's time for us to sit back and remember boo, you remember boo. Okay. But when you don't and remember boo, you remember boo, okay? But when you don't do those things, you know what? Rectangle head. That's what I do. I square up. So the man is like, all right, ladies, you know what happens when you mix oil and water? Well, and Jersey, you don't get a tasty salad dressing. Like, who makes salad dressing

out of oil and water? Is that like a Theresa reference? Was that just idiotic or was that a reference to something in the past? I didn't even pick up on that part because I was already like this transition is so ridiculous Yeah, well, it makes oil and water. You don't get tasty salad dressing. Oh, God Andy. What are you cooking in your household? What is that? No kidding. The tree oil and water. Oh, yeah. Teresa did say that. She did say something well in water and they they corrected it to vinegar. Yeah. So it had to be like a reference from the show. I just couldn't remember when it was. But it was so specific. I like vaguely remember that that was a thing that happened. But it's so specific. It's actually just now

making Andy look like an idiot. But also it's a Theresa. I wasn't Theresa saying like, you know, Andy didn't mix. They're like they're like oils and oils or something. I think she said oil and vinegar. She actually, that's the thing. I think she said they're like oil and vinegar.

Like, they're like that. I don't remember the context of why she said it. Like they don't go together or something. I don't know. Damn my brain. The point is a transition you should never use is saying, what happens when you mix oil and water? Well, in Jersey, you don't get a tasty salad dressing. You get the lures of Jackie. I'm like, there's gotta be a better way to say that.

It's gotta be. So Jackie versus Delores. Yeah, so So yeah, is that whole thing where I like dog with a bone dog with a bone cuff from different cloth all that stuff Here's the thing where old school she's not all right. She's different than us She was raised different than that's like her parents. They have to call before they come over in that's like her parents they have to call before they come over. Yeah. I mean, that's disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting.

So, uh, the lores you say, Jack, he doesn't like go things, but tree held onto what Jack, he said for years, there are double standard there. And by double standard, I'm talking about your boobs. Have they doubled in size? Tell me everything. She's like, you know what, Andy, I never said that tree can let things go and if my here's what I'm saying Andy if my parents had to call me before they came over They just wouldn't come over

Fucking sounds good to me. Yeah Exactly she's like, you know what all I was saying was that I thought Jackie was uptight And you know, why should she care what Frank says literally no one else does he's been disbarred he like it cannot legally be cared about and he's like well there was buzz online you were being anti-Semitic and the lurs is like oh please I fucked more Jewish men than Jackie so there's like wow the Liam lock into fans yeah this is crazy on yeah so but Jackie didn't feel like it was anti-Semitic. And basically what Dolores was saying was, listen, you know, I'm old school.

I was raised in a tough, Jack, I think actually was even Jackie who defended her. It was like, you know, like Dolores was raised in a very like straights household where, you know, you can have, you know, strict with everything except for breakfast. You can have cookies for breakfast apparently in our household.

I don't know how that works. But, you know, very tough household strict with everything except for breakfast. You could have cookies for breakfast apparently in our household. I don't know how that works, but you know, very tough household. And I was just raised more liberal. And you know what? Liberals okay. I'm getting there. I think it's exciting. I'm very liberal with the amount of girls who can come in and give my son a blow job. It's okay.

Yeah. Um, so Jack is like, yeah, she's not anti-Semitic. And Andy says, so Dolores, do you consider Jackie your friend now? She's like, you know what, Andy? I do. It takes time. It takes being called an anti-Semitic sometimes.

But eventually, you're nice to the weird girl at disabled. That's it. You know, here's the things I like about Jackie. Well, she's the woman with children. I like children. And she's very rich. That's it.

She's very rich as well. I like that she has two legs. Two legs and two arms. Full set. A full set of legs and arms. And you know what, I don't mind if you're missing an hour arm. You can be missing all of them. That's fine.

But I like that she has all four. I like that Andy I fucked planning it guys with four arms Andy that's what I'm saying I could deal with that and Jackie's like Yeah, Jackie's like you know Dolores and I we just you know We made a real effort to get to know each other after that all happened and Jen why do you make a face when I say that? Jen why you make a face and you cut like Jennifer? She's like She's so bad. you make a face when I say that? Jen, why doholes who do that to Gabriella, but the point is like, do you realize what you were doing, Jennifer? Do you realize how you were acting?

Is probably a direct mirror of how those girls treated your daughter? Hello. Hello. So Melissa just goes, that girl is so annoying. I have to camera. So then next up, Jen, something about being a client. Oh, yeah, it's about parenting, right?

So one of the, it's like, Judy from Judy Towns is, Jackie, you're a great parent in a class act despite not having new boobs. So who else are the great parents around here? And Jackie's like, well, I think that we're all great parents in our own ways, you know, and Dolores goes, that's what makes the world go round, right? I was like I mean, thanks for trying me again and

Jackie goes, a good person. I wouldn't think all of us are good people, Andy, and she's just looking at John And he's like, well, guess what? Being good parents, you guys, everyone on this cast, including me, who's now parent? What's lots of clips of me breast-leading baby band, everybody? I'm actually, by the way, my prediction is that by the end of this reunion, he's going to show a picture of his son in the, like, whatever it was, the Chevy Camaro. Whatever they got him last, last reunion. Remember they, like, got him a car, a little baby car. Oh, yeah, Chevy Camaro, whatever that they got him last last

weekend. Remember they like got him a car. A little baby. Yeah, they were. Didn't they all buy him like a million gift? Wait, who was that? Yeah, there was like Teresa gifts. No, no, they were buying they got they got they got I think they were giving Andy gifts. Well, that either way they got they gave it like a car. Yeah. And Joe pulled it out or something like that. It was, you know, like I'm

like a baby Mustang or something like that it was you know like I'm like a Baby Mustang or something I guarantee you guys size car Yeah, I guess it could work for either Joe All the shows all the Joe's all three Joe's so Delores most asked question by Andy from Andy. Yeah, that one of the Franky wears Franky. Wanna sick my finger in him and see if he's done. How about that? Yeah, Franky's fucking hot. I'd be I'll give you that, right?

Ever wants to fuck Franky. By the way, we should mention, this is a great time to mention that I'm so sorry I forgot your name, but one of our listeners Drunkenly ordered a cameo from Frankie Frankie Jr On behalf of watcher crap ends and so Frankie did a video which was so hot because it was Frankie and he was like Hey watch what crap ends what's going on? Hey Ben and Ronnie you guys are super funny and then Dolores. There she's like When you have having me on?

I might my 2020 was made. I was like Dolores open invitation Dolores open invitation. Love you. Yeah, they really commit themselves in those cameos. By the way, so do we go on cameo.com to book us. Yeah, that's right. So they talk about Frankie like just being really hot. Is he dating Gia and she's like, you know what?

Listen, Andy Frankie's gonna, you know, he's looking for jobs, his investment bankers. They take, it takes 14 hours a day to do that. He doesn't want to waste anybody's time when he could just pump and dump. You know what I'm saying, Andy? And he's like, actually, that's not, I used the word pump and dumps. Whatever it is. That's how we use it by households.

Bring them bells, you gotta bring them back. Right, Andy? Actually, that's one of the forgotten tracks from Hops Court on the Revegos. Clank the thing, the metal thing. You gotta clank the metal thing. You gotta clank the metal thing. Gotta clank it loud and let it really clank.

Me being hungry. Right. Things I don't remember. Oh, all the things that I don't remember. Non-fuzzy, fuzziest, like memory things. I don't know. Squirrels, the music. The screws. I'm a Gary and squirrels.

The hungry is home for all the weird out yank of it musicals So they talk about everybody's kids and Melissa's like my kid hates me But basically she uses me for social Andy, so that's fun and March is like you about at the I don't know who does I mean, I want to be closer, but I don't know. It's not back where I want it So then Andy's like, well, Marge, Jen said, Jen, question your motherhood, but you know, we do never see your kids. And she said, I, you know, like I was a mother, you know,

like what kind of mother was I, Andy? And that's why I take problem. You know, I am still a mother, Andy. Okay. I'm still a mother. That's why I was offended. Yeah. You know, that's why I put a whale on those shorts because I'm actually a mother of whales. You know, like Game of Thrones, Mother of Dragons, and Mother of Wales, and I was just trying to express that. But apparently, the advantage is like, not down with that at all, and neither is Pinocchio by the way,

I got sued by Pinocchio, that's true, that's actually happened to me. Little wooden nose, little fucker, I'll take it out. I mean, I'm so sweet and timid by a by a wooden puppet that can talk. I mean, I'm not intended. I'm scared. That's when I am. I'm actually terrified. What a terrible story. Why are we teaching these two children? I mean, that's my question. That was for you, Joe. Little Pinocchio, human. Little Pinocchio. Yeah, and you know about how I got back in Pinocchio, don't you? I basically fucked your pet. It took him away. Now Pinocchio is trying to raise himself, selling shoes so that it'll leave you. It doesn't even know how

to clean one assault. Take that to a little wooden nose, little shit. Right? Yeah, we're supposed to like this lying as little puppet that talks to grasshoppers, grasshoppers are a pest. Do you have much, do you have much Jan had to pay to get grasshoppers out of our first home? That's why I said Joe, don't good your apartments, this grasshoppers everywhere, okay? Don't even talk to the bigger tried singers song too, don't believe them, they can take you an island where children would grow donkeys. I mean who was that what terrible? Terrible it's like the land of Daniels dogs. That was for you. That was for you, Joan So Jennifer's like what I don't know what a fan service just saying I've never seen you around children So I'm like kind of mad at all you anyway

That's all and say I really really I really really Jen really really Jen really really you know what I love some of children so much so I based on my own and they were my children because I based them and she goes we you are working mother and she's I bus and trace the girls she just didn't know that's that's because every conversation is about her you know what Jennifer Sloughie and Roe and everyone's like oh she's about her. You know what? Jennifer's slay me a row. And everyone's like, oh, she's slay me a row, you know? And of course Jennifer's come back as-

You slay your row! How about that? And then they're like, they're like bickering and she's like, we're talking about listen, we're talking about the topic, about what I said about you being a mother. She's like, no, we're talking about what sort of mother I am. Okay, listen, I have a son of a Jan. It's a non-penergier son full of flesh and blood.

Okay, I have a son and I have stepchildren. Okay, I also have Marjano, who's technically my mother, but she's also my son. And you know what, like, and you have Nanny's, all right? Like, that's the situation. Oh yeah, well, you reference the fact that I don't work. I'm a very hands-on mom. You think the Amazon Prime orders itself.

No, I gotta use my hands to do it. Hands. I'm just saying, you're not a poster child for stayed home, mother. So, right, she has a staff. And Jennifer's like, I have a man, and I have a cleaning man. What's the big deal?

You have my lady, you don't even have kids. By the way, having two people that work for you as a staff just just so we're all clear I'm March goes but according to Instagram. Yeah, every night so damn and then cuz oh don't bring up Instagram Cuz it's a insta-shab baby So are you saying that everything on your social media is fake? Are you saying that you were just like are you catfishing yourself? What is that funny? She's like it's an instant sham. It's only what they want you to see and Jackie's like

Minus real and Marjus goes I post my aesthetic life. It's just oh well if you believe everything you see I mean come on in the end Indian it's not like I post everything at real time. I'm like okay so you go out once a year change your outfit a lot and save up the pictures so you can post them later like what the fuck are you talking about? That's even sadder because they're our actually people who do you know that like um real social media influencers they'll do like a day of photo shoots in different looks and then spread them out over the course of the month. Yeah, sounds smart to me. I guess that's what Jen's doing.

You know what it sounds like to me. I just show up every day. It's Shemma. And Shem, baby. I just show up on the same shirt to work every day. So you just never know when this was shot. It could have been five years ago. It could have been this one.

Michael Cours be next year. Michael Cours Effect. Yeah, so yeah, she's like, yeah, well, we have my go and I never leave the house. I only go out when I'm with you, women, or if I'm filming, otherwise, I'm at home. I'm in a prison of my own making and with a controlling husband who doesn't love me

who has polka nights in the back room, instead of sham, that's what I say. Prison and unhappiness. I'm a sad person. All right. Well, we're going to shift some gears, guys. All right. Jackie likes to keep it real.

And why she's keeping secrets from friends and family. Let's think of what. And then they show a montage of, again, a very moving montage of Jackie struggling with her eating disorder or food, talking about her dad, her conversations that she had like with Margaret and you know, she's crying in the Hamptons, whatever, West Hampton. And I was like, this is so shady that they frame it as

she keeps secrets. Because they kind of like, it just sort of stigmatized everything she went through. I was like, this is like, give me the oil and water analogy at least, you know? This is where it would have been slightly more appropriate. But I was like, way to go, way to go reunion writers. Yep, as always.

So basically they talk about our eating disorder and all, you, yada no offense, but yada yada. But it was interesting. It was interesting to hear that she said, to me, I think the revelation here, a small one, was that she didn't, she didn't realize the camera caught her eating the quinoa puffs for breakfast, and she said that she's still, she's really happy with herself, but she still struggles, it's an ongoing struggle. And she struggles with breakfast and she didn't realize that she was eating the quinoa puffs. And that she was really embarrassed

because her kids watch, but also, you know, she imagines people who struggle with eating disorders might have like a, be looking at it more closely. And so I thought that was an interesting thing that she shared. I didn't understand the quenawatchips thing. Like, is it bad? Why is that bad?

Because it wasn't like a healthy breakfast or? No, I think that like maybe in a vacuum, it's like, like I think for someone who does not struggle eating just words, I'm sure, I'm just having Keenawatch up today. But I think it probably, the largest story there is probably that she was eating something very light and not. It was, I think, what was, I don't want to say bad, because I don't want to use language that could be, like, I never know the language around these things, because I don't want to add associations and stuff, but I think the issue is that Kenwa puffed her like a light non-calorie thing and it was to make it seem like she was eating something but she really wasn't eating anything and she was

like avoiding food in that moment and it was sort of like- Well, Kenwapufs have fucking calories so I can tell you that. But it's like one of those things where everyone's having breakfast and then she decides she's going to have a snacky thing instead sort of you know suggested that it was a moment where she was having a weird relationship with food in a social setting which is could be indicative of a larger issue. I think I'm assuming that's what was she was suggesting that the whole situation. Can we go back to talk about harpsichord on the roof? Yeah, I tried to skip this section so you have to have a look.

No, but I also want I know you I listen, I know we tried to skip it, but I also wanted to acknowledge that there was something interesting that was said. You know, listen, can't be not to me. I was like, why waste fucking Kenwatships? Like who cares? I've eaten M&Ms for breakfast. I was like, I don't know if this is good or bad. Like to me eating Kenwatships is making an effort. You know, it's like, wow, you just had something quinoa

for breakfast. Wow, look at you. You hug a tree, fucker. I would love a quinoa chip right now, by the way, I'm starving. So, uh, uh, yes, and then Andy moves on back to the petty stuff. He's like, so, uh, why would you keep all that money a secret Jackie? And she's like, well, it wasn't with your secret. It just, it doesn't define me. So I didn't want to talk about it and so then he's like okay well uh Andy from Andy Town has another question that's so funny and he says how much money do you actually have this is totally coming from a viewer and not from me. Be capa landy it's talking to us people about the money. So now, hey, it's a

stealth from Charleston and she says, hey Jennifer, impressions are if you're are you thing? So why don't you give us your best one? Hey, why don't you do some SIGgy Flicker and so Jennifer goes, okay, I'm gonna do my SIGgy flicker. That's all I wanted. That's all I wanted. Like that was great. That was great. Doing Jennifer saying that's all I wanted. Okay. So then we get into Jennifer's parents, like the mom having to accept the gay son on national TV and her kid being bullied and we get them the gen segment and to that was emotional. That was how she said.

She's just like totally dead and such like that was a emotional. You're right. I gave it a little bit too much zero reaction pro Teresa. That was really really emotional. Yeah. So like all the kids know that that uncle as a Stephen is gay and you know they do give Jennifer props for how she handled the situation and it was actually

really nice to hear that that Jennifer's mom and her brother are now on much better terms about it and that she goes and makes food for Stephen and his friends so like that's sweet that she's like now making food for the gaze. You know, we always like that. And then they're asking about how Gab is doing with the bullies and everything. And basically Jennifer's like, yeah, well,

she has new friends. And it's a small grade so everyone knows who those kids are anyway, which is her way of being like, yeah, we probably shamed those brats. Leave it up to Jen to find a way to bully the fucking bullies from National TV. Good for you. Yeah, so then, so then, uh, so speaking of bullies, so they're like, water happens live on their, on their Instagram, they had posted a picture of Jennifer saying, I'm a comedian. And then Bethany Frankl wrote under it said, nobody funny about themselves ever.

Huh. So it's like Jennifer, what do you think about that? Well, but the time I saw that, Martin already jumped on the band back and with her two sons saying, yes, boss, bitch, yes, boss, bitch, boss, boss, bitch, bitch, bitch. And Marge is like, no, actually,

I just said truth. That's what I said. She was, oh, actually, I just said truth. That's what I said. She goes, oh, yeah, hashtag truth. Well, when somebody saying things about me, this one jumps onto band-packing and there. Margaret's like, well, actually, you had already insulted Bethany Frankel.

And then we see a clip of Jennifer being like, oh, yeah, Bethany Frankel, we'll call you when we want to revive love the crypt keeper, skinny skeleton face. Ah. And Jenen goes but she's a public figure and she should know that they're benefitations and I'm not gonna take it like that and they all start cracking up at their ramifications what are you talking about well they also were kind of dumb because she was saying there's if you say something there's gonna be ram it like if you say something I'm if you hit me I'm gonna hit back that's the ramification but I think they all took it that like if Beth say something, there's gonna be random, like if you say something, if you hit me, I'm gonna hit back, that's the ramification,

but I think they all took it that, like, if Bethany says something, there's gonna be ramifications for Jennifer and her career. So they're like, what are these ramifications? And I think it was Andy who said, did you lose a comedy job? I don't know, there were so, it was like, they hilariously misinterpreted it,

but it was like worth it. And she, oh, I took it is, she's saying this ramifications like slander or whatever. And he's saying, how could that be slander? Did you lose comedy work or something over it? Like what happened? But I don't know. And she's like, well, meaning when you asked me something, I mean, this come back with something. And Marge is like, you know what? You just take it to the next level. it's just next level she's you've got a next level no one said it was to a creative level but it's definitely a next level so

so is it true that Melissa Jennifer haven't spoken since the jails were shortrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Quite funny. I was like, well, yeah, point for Jennifer. Sure. I'd also like to give Deb from El Paso, credit for getting through El Paso, Long Live EP, baby, EP for life. We had some El Paso and some West Hollywood representation on the questions tonight. I noticed. Yeah, Ansel Charleston, where we'll be going soon. I mean, it's guys.

Wow. Basically our lives. There's so much going on in this. Basically our lives is except for. The most basic, just Charleston. No way way really. So March is like basically March is like, well, yeah, I'm in the prepare, but she's just bad at it.

I'm at least good at it. You know, Andy, I've got timing. She gets in every side. So then Andy's like, well, from that's during the plates friend, the blow job, bells, dingin'. I forgot what I'm saying, I'm picturing, going down on me right now, what were we talking about? You know what?

You know, because now it's about Melissa and Jennifer, and their fight that they had in the Hamptons. And Jennifer's like, you know what? I like to say what automatically comes to my mind. Sometimes it stirs up shit. I don't stir shit. I just say what comes to my mind. You're all skanks.

Whips can't to my mind. Can't have that. And Andy's like, Delover is you said she didn't know anyone apology, but she threw a play. And the Lord says like, you know what? You shouldn't throw things, but they, what I was saying is they was they were going at each other, Randy. I mean, I mean, they were both there we got what's gonna happen like if you so if you shoot someone

You don't hit them now you got to get arrested. I think it only counts the time. I'm right. It counts if you had other than physics experiment. What are you gonna go hunting? You're gonna shoot it a deer. You don't shoot it. And what is it supposed to do lie down? Yeah, you didn't shoot the deer Andy Okay, you don't get to put someone's head on your wall unless you've killed them no one was killed here All right, the plate doesn't hit you must acquit okay so Kayla Kayla from Watertown

New York says hey Jen With Danielle you preach it's never okay to put your hands on someone, but then you're always throwing glasses and silverware, I had double 300, but sure, that was from Chandler Bing, actually. So, Jennifer's like, she's like, listen, you know what, with the wine, when I threw the wine glass, I was merely trying to make a point. I was trying to make a point that if you say something I don't like I'm gonna break a wine glass and maybe hurt you. That's all. That's all. It wasn't touching anybody

Bitch I'm not molasses like if you threw that fork and then that fork hit me and she was I didn't though I'm already just like alright, you know, but maybe we should just make it packed to that thread things and drink us Well, I will have everyone well She's the only one who throws things Jen which is just crazy and Margaret goes obviously I Through liquids. Okay, I throw liquids is different state of state of matter. Okay, because what I throw does matter What you throw doesn't matter, okay? That's what I say And then it's like well should Jennifer be an anger management?

And she's like, no, I'm, I'm slow to anger. I'm not angry at all, baby. Like you are literally yelling at me right now. Yeah. Uh, so Andy's like, well, uh, yeah, anger management. Sorry. I almost did that. So March goes, okay. But you do get

fibs able to take very quickly and Tracy goes all three of us do and Laura says I write to be fair all six of us do. Oh 12 us do baby. Oh no no it's not a count. Chris has always got her side of the count. You know those are the only people she's gonna be with. Yeah, so why doesn't Melissa ever attack back? And Melissa goes, well, it's what I told Danielle Stubb. Did you know what she said Stubb? Yeah, she called her Stubb. I am girl.

So I told Danielle Stubb, so I told Daniellepuffa purchase. We don't put our hands on each other, okay? That's not, Margot, you know what? And let me tell you something Andy, okay. News flash, if you throw liquid, you know what happens? You dry off, okay, you dry off. You may know it from the seminal song in Hapsicode on the roof.

If you throw a liquid, you dry off. I've dried off, because I had a liquid on me, and now I'm dry. Thank you, thank you very much. Wonder if wonder miracles, miracles. I got liquid on me. Now I'm dry. To liquids, to liquids, like I am. So, um, Melissa's like, look, I just, a bunch of people were very upset with me, Andy, that I didn't stand up for myself with her. But you know what? Did you see me?

I was raging, Andy. Like, I just couldn't touch her. And she goes, ooh, baby, where you at? Let's get out. I'm shaking. Muscoz, I'm not telling you to shake. I'm saying you're an asshole.

Don't throw another object. Jennifer, don't make me throw another object. I'm like, do you remember what you said about your, like, girls are literally bullying your daughter and do you, what you're saying? Don't make me throw an object. That is literally the things that police say to beat up kids. I know, and then Jen out of nowhere, guys. You're gonna check a book by his cover. And March goes, actually your cover is beautiful. See inside the sex. Zing, see you next week everyone.

It's for you, Jen. That's for you, Joan. And for you, Pinocchio. You're inside, Zach. All of you, Zach's Pinocchio. No. And that brings us to the end of real housewives of New Jersey. We'll be back next week to recap part due so exciting.

Very excited for it. And later we will have a recap of a really, really hilarious episode of Summer House. Can't wait to dive into that. So, uh, so we have bonuses as usual on Patreon. This week was a two-parter of our road trip. It's really fun. People are loving it. This week we a two-parter of our road trip. It's really fun. People are loving it. This week we're going to do, or next week rather, we're going to do a recap of the Karma show.

Family Karma. Family Karma. This coming out Sunday. We don't have time to cover it on the real, the main show, so we're going to do a big, oh, bonus next week. And then following that, we're going to do a Love Is Blind bonus. A go site of your bonus episodes. Don't be so... And apparently we said something about birds on our road trip episode, because people on our Facebook group are... are all buzzing about in our bird talk. So I don't know what that was, but go listen to it, because apparently we were being ridiculous as usual. Being the poorest of birds.

All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being with us. Thank you guys. And crap is on demand. You can watch it on crap is on demand too, by the way. Bye! Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at onedry.com slash survey.