Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Throwing Shade, Cake - Live from Pittsburgh

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

We recently decided to revisit a classic Real Housewives of New Jersey for a live show in Pittsburgh, PA. Imagine our surprise when we received a phone call from Dolores Catania herself mid-recap! It was hard to hear her; so the conversation is a bit, um, disjointed, but who cares? One of the most thrilling surprises of the year for us!For those who wish to watch the NJ episode first, it's season 8, episode 1 — aka Marge's debut / the one where they throw the cake in Boca.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Kids, what happens when they're so wild and rabbits? Who's the first one to cry? What do you want me to cry? Kids, what happens when they're so much that's rabbits? Well, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Hello, city of Leon Ford on HGTV.

So I go through Pittsburgh, I'm like, I know this town. Do you know how many redone houses that have been painted white on the interior that I've seen? Wait, can I try this? Let me see if I'm doing this right. How are you doing? How are this right. How Ian's doing. How Ian's doing. Also, happy straight guys talking to the TV day. Yes.

Where we've been today, there have been straight guys looking at TV's going, God dammit! Come on! God damn it. Been a lot of March Madness happening today. So, you know these are all the guys who are like, what housewives, what, that's bullshit. I'm gonna watch it, watch your brain. Then they're just standing there watching people run like this.

Come on, God damn it. Well, we want to thank you guys all for coming here. I mean, know that there's a March badness thing, but it's great to be back here. It's great to be back here in Pittsburgh. We had so much fun last summer here a few years ago, so it's always great to come back. It's a really great place and March Madness has nothing on a classic Real House Wars with New Jersey. That's for sure. That is for sure. That is for sure.

Nothing's crazier than match shit. One of the most valuable players is back, Danielle, Stub. I know. This episode has everything. You got all, I mean, this is the March Madness of Real House as a New Jersey, right? Like it's a bracket of who is going to make it

to the next season, right? You had the straight guys down stairs yelling, God damn it! You had the Queens up stairs yelling, God damn it! But you know, there were also like in the throes of a real-time bravo scandal that has been unfolding over the past 24 hours. It's been a very rough day for drag Queens stuck in the same piano bar as Bravo Stars. It's been very, very difficult. As we reported, as we reported 12 hours late at last night's show, Countess Luanne was

thrown out of a gay bar in New York City this week. She got drunk, she monopolized the piano, and was like, my God, fuck you! So today we got the apology, theanne apology the official Luandos Epsipology arrived the frozeology it's kind of like a real apology but with that any of the real punch you know yes apology she's apologized so many times now I don't even know how you start to write that, you know? Yeah, I'm like you've done this monologue a million times. At least Shakespeare you get to repeat the same shit every night I mean this you have to write something new every time you get wasted

That's why I tell my friends don't ever get sober. Don't do this. Don't commitment to saying it. Don't commit to saying it. Stop drinking. Take care of yourself if you have to. Do not ever call it sobriety. No one will ever leave you alone. Yes. Say you're taking a break, you know? So she posted this on her Instagram.

This week, after a credible incident, I was faced with the truth, which is that many of my castmates are not very talented the way I am. You're regrettable, the regrettable truth was you singing, okay? We all had to face that truth. We still have to face it. And we're the suckers who are like, let's go. Let's all go together.

I've been twice. I've been twice. I've been twice. I want to apologize to the staff at the townhouse, and anyone else I may have offended with my behavior. I know that drag queen Koki Roberts was having a very rough night of it. And I would just like to say Kokii, truly, truly apologize. I understand what it feels like to want something better for the people around you. For instance, when I was thrown into prison and they threw a pastrami, a baloney sandwich

at my head and there was a mustard packet in there. I understand pain is what I'm saying and I apologize for those who felt like I was the baloney sandwich to their head. I would like to thank my friends, my family, and not Ramona singer at all. She's really done nothing ever for anything. What? Well, you know what? They come from... What? There were a lot of homosexual men at that bar who want to sing at the piano, okay?

And you were being day-class, say, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, look'm sorry. I'm sorry You've got to love it when Luan has written so many of these that she's resorting to the I'd like to thank my friends and family for their support I know It's your family not suing you anymore for the house that you were trying to sell Not suing you anymore for the house that you were trying to sell? Bless her heart. Bless her heart.

Bless her heart. Bless her gin-souped little hearts. But she's back on the road. I saw that she's somewhere, I think, around here, right? I don't know, really. All I know is this. Cabaret with the count is every poster is like, who, I'm like, who's that? Who is that? She just drunkenly running onto the court

in the middle of March Madness, but you all came to my cabaret. Someone just throws a basketball at her head. Love, listen. Welcome to Watchro crap ins and podcast. Welcome. We love to talk about on you, Brawls. I'mings, podcast, vlog. Welcome. We love to talk about on you, Brawls.

I'm Ronnie, that's been. Hi, everyone. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Super exciting night because it is classic, a real housewives of New Jersey night. Classic Jersey. Now we say classic.

Nobody classified this as a classic classic except for us, okay? There's no there's nothing you're gonna look at that says classic real housewives of New Jersey It's like five minutes ago. This episode was on five minutes ago. It's only from season eight I think we're on season 11 now, right? I don't remember what season they sort of just flow together It's like a long string of spaghetti, you know? But yes, but we wanted to go back to this one because it was microchose. It's the first episode ever. Yeah.

Paba House and Panktails. That's what they call me, OK. But there's also a lot of funny parallel, think not parallels, but things seed to get that planted back then that we're starting to sort of seek. I wouldn't say blossom, but just sort of continue to be seeds. And we just know where the seeds are. So it's just like fun to go back and see how it all has developed.

But foliage, if you will. Foilage. Foilage. But one of the things is that the, basically this is the first episode of the season, season 8. And so they didn't have the taglines in this episode, but we thought it would be our duty to still recite the taglines from season 8. After. After, right?

Yeah. Because really understanding a season and where the ladies are coming from, because of course, they write these taglines, or, you know, some of their PAs, whoever writes these tag, I don't know who's writing these tag lines still, but they need some help, okay? They need some grammar, yeah. But anyway, it kind of sums up what they were going through to the whole season, you know what I mean.

So they're very important. So we start with Dolores. Woo! Oh my God, wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. This just happened three minutes ago.

As little as you said, my cousin Melissa who lives in New Jersey just texted me and said, I just walked into a restaurant and Dolores is sitting in the entrance with her boyfriend. And of course I said hello to her and I told her that I was

your cousin and she was like, oh my gosh, I love them. They're so funny and they're so witty and I was literally dying. That's it. Wow, Dolores knows us. That's so cool. That literally just came in right now. Wow, guys.

Dolores was boyfriend is hot. Have you seen Dolores's boyfriend? He's hot and that overly overly waxed, you know, do they tan bowling balls? He's got kind of that, I was gonna say like, tan bowling ball, I don't know if there was a tan skin bowling ball, it would be that guy. You know, we get really mad at you over little things.

You know, just so you look like one of those Jersey guys, it's like, what's the goddamn remote control? All right, tell me a baby, tell me a baby, tell me. It looks like one of those guys in this eyebrows are like, another crazy. I do it. Hot. Okay, so, the worse is, I'm sorry.

Should I try to ask, I know I'm gonna kill me. Should I try to ask my cousin to see if she can get Delores to call in? Okay. Yeah, that's interesting. Oh shit though, then Delores is going to have your number. Do you really want that? So.

We'll keep everyone updated. I'm going to put my phone up right here, guys. It's ready. Melissa will do that shit too. She will right after her. She will absolutely do that. Watch my parents call. Hi Ben. A printer just starts going off. I know. I'm like sorry I was printing something. I needed to print something. Sometimes you can return the Amazon right to the store. Sometimes you got to print something for the Amazon. It's done to understand.

Don't you feel totally ripped off when you have to print the shit for the Amazon? Why is it that sometimes I can scan it and sometimes I have to have a printer? I always have to call my dad. It's dads and printers. I'm like dad, will you print this for me? And then the rest of the day, are you coming by to get this? When are you coming? Should I be here? Should I leave it on the counter.

So I leave it with your mother. Okay, Dolores Catania's opening line. Look loyalty up in the dictionary. And you'll find my face. and you'll find my face. Ha ha ha ha ha. Hmm. Ha ha ha ha ha. I don't know, baby, I could use it a bit more support.

Jennifer from the future. Melissa Goraga. The only life I envy is my own. Yes, I'm your own. Melissa, jealous of herself, Melissa. Yes. I do like that she has jealousy issues with herself. I bring the power, the p tails, and the potty. Yes, Margaret. Margaret had the full bouncy turn thing, and it first said,

I'm just like, pig tail. Is someone pulling on that? Like, are they staring you with those? She's a marionette. She's a marionette. Eh. A SIGGI flicker. Marinette. Eh. Uh, a Sigi Flicker. My motto is, know your worth and leave the rest up to a plastic surgeon.

You see, that is some future. That's what happens on these shows. The future. We know to boo now. But back then we were like, oh my God. Yeah, we were all like, she is a hero. Do you remember her first episode when she just came on right after her face lift and she's like, do you want some soup? We want some soup. She just seemed like two little eyes. I'm a mummy thing. I was like, yeah, so my god, I can't. Representing, I'm living, I am breathing. I am breathing right now.

I was a big, sticky flicker fan. I held on as long as I possibly could. But at a certain point, you just have to just like, send her off to the Capitol with a torch. And then of course classic Teresa. If you're not a dog, then I must dance. You're by my stage. I'm on my mind. I interrupt this.

Hello? Hi. Hi. Hi, I'm food in my mouth. Sorry. I was just with your cousin. Is this Dolores Catania? Can you hear the crowd?

Cat. Hi, Dolores. Hi. Oh, my God. Hi Dolores. Hi. This is literally the most amazing thing that could have ever happened. How are you doing? Oh, yes. Okay, we're going to FaceTime you. So we're in Pittsburgh right now.

Hold on. I have to hold you close to the mics. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic.

I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic.

I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. I have to hold you close to the mic. Everybody! Oh, and there's my cousin. Hi, hi cousin Melissa. I'm not being... Can you hear us all right Dolores? Okay, so Dolores is going through the restaurant.

I want to say hi to everybody the day away. I want to say hi to everybody the day away. I'm so sorry. Yes, you guys are so cool. By the way, what's going on over there? Well, we're here in Pittsburgh and we're doing it. We're actually recapping a classic episode of New Jersey from season eight, the season premiere of season eight. And we were just going over the taglines you guys used to have.

So what's my tagline for then? Or did it look up loyal in the dictionary and you'll see my face? Yeah! Everybody! That's exactly right. Oh, see. So how's Frankie you junior doing? Frank is the nicest kid

He's also pretty hot. I'm not gonna lie Is the house done The house is kind of done. It's never gonna be done. So I don't spend that much time there. The guy that you just saw on your, that's Paul. That's the new friend. That's my new boyfriend. That's the rail. You got the rails?

You got the hand rails? I got the hand rail. Everything's in, but there's so many dogs and kids in the house, so I spend a lot of time with Paul Gairozen. I just got back from Ireland. Oh, from Ireland? So did you spend the same Patrick's Day in Ireland?

No, I spent Valentine's Day in Ireland. And Patrick's Day in New York. So yeah, I'm doing the Irish thing now. And so this new relationship, this relationship is legit, right? Like this is real. Yeah. Have you been saying that? Yeah. That's great. This relationship is like legit right like this is real That's great

Well, Dolores, we're gonna we. Wow, that's some pretty good. Wow. That is some pretty good random out to dinner. Shit Melissa. That is that is cousin Melissa. You really killed it. I'm sorry if that was very strange and awkward and in terms of like the audio, but it was the best that we could do. It's you didn't hear it, but she started off she went, hold on, I got food in my mouth. That is so her. Oh, that was so, I'm like on a high. Can you tell how excited I am? Oh, God. All right, so that's the end of the line for I have to be finished up all. The Loris called in the middle of the race.

I'm sorry, I have to cut you off. If you're not about to know the things, then get the hell out of my ways, all right. And then we get to season eight episode one and for a half hour. Yes. Okay. So then Teresa's mom dies. Yay, one episode.

How hilarious. Got him glad we chose it. We're not going to talk. Obviously a lot about Teresa's mom dying. It was very sad. Okay, and it was legit sad. I know, let's get that part. I know, it's like, we gotta do a live show

and it starts with Teresa's mom dying, okay. The first notes, my first notes are Plink, plink, plink, plink, plink. Great fucking live show choice. Ha ha later, it did. Morning, I'm too tired to go to school. She's like, nah, you got to get up. What the fuck is wrong with Melania? You're a judy.

Fake it. Yes. You don't say you're too tired to go to school. Get the author momitor on the ceiling light thing. Yes. I was so hot it cracked all over my hand. I used to drink mustard. My sister was like, could you drink mustard?

And what's the other thing? Vinegar, you put it in food. Vinegar. Mustard and vinegar. You'll throw up. Right? So I drank it and I didn't throw up. My body will not throw up, okay. My body, I'm so greedy, my stomach keeps everything.

It could be poison. My body will just put out like little poison rat traps. It'll make something of it, right? So yeah, I tried that and it didn't work, so I just poured mustard and vinegar in the toilet and my mom was like mustard and vinegar, Ronnie. Stay home like a forever. Yeah, the point is Melania's got to come up with something bigger than just saying she's

tired, right? So, this family, yeah. Have you been to prison? I'm ranked and get on. That's true. That's true. Come on, commercials. Here comes one right now.

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It's breakfast time and Teresa's making bacon and Melania's like, I only like how daddy makes the bacon. Mommy makes it too crispy. I'm like, well, you better get used to mommy's version. Just saying. Unless you want to. Not to mention the way that your dad brought home the bacon is kind of why you're in this mess.

I believe where he is now. It's called panchetta. So. I believe where he is now it's called Bansheda. So, man, why isn't it such an infant Jones? Sometimes he went to camps, he lost a lot of weight, he got his G&B. And now looking back on it, did we even know that that was a high school equivalency? Cause he did start judy's electronic dildos soon after he got out of prison. True. But maybe maybe when the Teresa GED means it's like saying, GED, there's a bed.

GED. It's like if you're using G past tense. Oh my god I saw a comment and I know and I GD. I just G. Hello! Shank, mark, mark! She's like, what? Oh, that was really good. I achieved. I achieved. I saw that. I did that. And Teresa's like, since Joe's been away, I've been juggling a lot.

I'm just like having visions of Teresa in the corner, actually trying to juggle things. Oh, man. This is hard Just start with the men Teresa It's a long juggling struggle for Teresa There's just these are gonna bother me that there's just water bottles now. I've who does that bother me that there's just water bottles now, who does that? I know, you have the two down already. They were just telling me backstage, you're like, you know,

this is my slave having a podcast night, not a metal band. And then here I am throwing bottled water on the ground. Shently, gently tossing bottles of water around. Proofly wronged night. So Teresa's also made like a waffle for Gia, because Gia's about to go off to school, and she was like, I don't want it. This is wet.

First of all, I would never ever turn down any sort of waffle, just enough. But then we also get like, again, something foreshadowing for the future. She's like, you want a bar? You want a banana? You want a pineapple? Yeah.

Yeah. But Teresa is one of those people. I was like, you don't want nothing. You want a pencil? Hi, I'm a painting. You want coffee. You want a computer? You want a coin?

You want a... No! No! Do you want a stick that's on fire? Mom, don't give me your juggling supplies. Since America, we were raised on wet waffles here. Those microwaved waffles. They microwaved.

Oh yeah. And then you're supposed to toast them, but my mom was just like microwaved. And then they come out of. Brewery. Yeah, great. That's the best part. I totally agree.

I'm all about an ego waffle. Yeah, we're Americans. That's right. So then, so now we go over to the Goruga's house and it's sad again for obvious reasons. So they're just, you know, they're talking about like the sadness of the situation and everything. And Melissa is really reflecting on life.

And she's like, you know, watching your parents, maybe we need less and go on more vacations and sit around and enjoy each other in life. Well, it's been about four years now. I have not seen any indication that they are pairing down their lifestyle and needing less. Well, they could be foreclosed on it any moment this family. So I feel like Melissa's always doing the preemptive. You know what we want? Less. Just a few. She's like, this was my goal, remember when I said that? So she's like, you know, it puts things in perspective. It really makes me want to spend more time with my kids. Now you know she's lying. Yes. Now I'm friends with a lot of mothers and I've never heard of one of them say that, okay?

And when I do finally get them over to my house, they come over and like a ball gown. They're like, oh, you're so glad to be out there like, I locked the door! I locked the door! Can I stay here? And she goes, I don't want to live to work. I want to work to live. Of course, you have to work to have that make sense, but that's fine. I hate those sayings. I don't want to live to work. I want to work to the, I don't want, I don't live to eat.

I eat to live. So triggering. It's like, who's stopping you? All right, we all have a fucking hobby. It's now moving. It's the golden Corral, ma'am. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Because you know, life, it's like an hourglass. Time just runs through. It's like, hmm. Like the sand's doing hourglass.

These are the dogs of our lives. These are the, what are you gonna do about it? Have our lives. and they're like, what are you gonna do about it? I have a lie. So she talks about how Gabby just graduated from college and she's gonna be, oh, fly. It's Kim D. So then, so she talks about, she's back. Here it is.

Are you doing a podcast? Shockingly enough, it's a fruit fly. So she's talking about how Frankie, my little shadow, is going on to college. I'm going to be away from for the first time my life. And then we heard the sound of ovaries blooming all over. I know. She's like, I'm so worried about Little Frankie.

We're like, Frankie's leaving the house. And Frankie. Frankie. One Frank leads another Frank enters. Yeah. A new Frank rises. I know. So, she's, uh, sorry.

So Frank's home, Frank's home. All right kids, Frank's home. Hide your horse. All right Frank. I'll look at the bag. Frank's got his Gucci. He's like, God, what?

What? What? Daddy's home. What? Where are you? What? What? Daddy's home. Where are you? Where are you? Right in front of you, Frank. Literally right in front of you, face. Oh. Oh.

The stairs look too shave. Brrrr. Brrrr. Brrrr. Son off the banisters. Oh. Yes, my ex has been too cheated on me as moving back in. Frank and his girlfriend are on the hamster wheel, I call it.

That's when the relationship doesn't get better and you start pooping out tiny little pellets and bumping into walls because you're trying to walk around in a big, hard plastic ball and you can't wear shirts because your arms are too big and vainly to be a hamster. If I don't give Frank at least one stale pretzel a day, shirts because your arms are too big and vainly to be a hamster. If I don't give Frank at least one stale pretzel a day, his teeth will grow so big he will pierce his own mouth. I do like to talk about that Frank is on a hamster real of a relationship when we are literally seeing the exact same storyline this season on New Jersey.

And I don't hate it. I don't hate it. So, the storyline is that Frank and Frankie don't get along. Which is crazy because now this time they changed it. They're like, wh- We had to get that one, we had to get along with that thing, boss. We got to get that one. We had to get that one. We had to get a log with bad thing, boss. We got to do another thing. So not this season. She's like, you know, Frank and Gabby historically don't get a log. Dolores is the laziest recycleer ever.

I just love this idea that like, oh, what's going to happen with Frank and Frankie? Oh, Frankie, he's so out of control. You see, like, Frankie's like, just did your laundry, mom? He's like the nicest kid. Oh, God, it's gonna get so tense with little Frankie. My whole, you know, mind, I already calculated

because I like doing the math in my head. She's like, oh, fuck him, Frankie. Ah. Oh. So Frank comes up to see his bedroom, and he sees, he goes, what the hell is that, the Lord? What is that? What is that, the Lord? Oh, yeah, it was a massage table.

I'm not supposed to sleep on a massage table. We're all pretending like Frank actually has clean sheets in a bag. I know. What do you know? No, you do not, sir. Frank has been sleeping on somebody's backseat for years and we all know it. Okay. Laura's is like, well, Frank, I'm busy. Okay, I've got three businesses to run. And then

Laura tells us what she's up to. She's like, well, the gym with Maz has been going well, so we opened up another gym and I guess you can finally say, I'm a woman here, Miroa. So cliche. Wow, bra, bra. Sorry, I got a little emotional there. Have we ever heard of these gyms again? What happened to these gyms? I think they still exist, actually.

I think they actually still exist. Is she own them? Because she never talked about them anymore. She's like, look at me. I own three gyms, hear me roar, roar. She lasted about as long as I do it at gyms. It's like, just keep joining them. Just keep signing on the dotted line.

You'll feel thinner eventually. I got the feeling, if I remember correctly, I got the feeling that Maz was not totally happy with her. I feel like there were scenes where he was like, he's like, the Laura's, you gotta come into the gym. She's like, well, look, I know I gotta go into the gym, but you know what? There's also yogurt lands, and I need to go there with Frankie, so good luck. Yeah, she's always like four hours late to gym meetings whatever those are. Yeah. So now we know we're going to someone's specials home because on the front door it says number one like Family! A second flicker! Second flicker!

So it's like the upper middle class version of Gather, that number one sign. So she's just sort of fudzing around in the kitchen and her husband Michael Campanella comes in. He's like, honey, I'm home. Hi, baby! Hi, baby! Problem classic couple. This is the one that's like, we're still fucking over time. That's them this season.

I mean, joke warga's like that this season too, but he's just joke warga. Like joke warga would have that storyline anywhere. Yeah. That this is there. Sige and Michael Campanella. It's like, I'm so hot for you, baby. He walks in like, I'm home. So go, go, we're crying out loud.

So they're just like, they're sitting down for dinner and everything and Sophie the daughter comes through. And you know, she's just trying to have a pink this picture of like beautiful domestic bliss in this household. Call me when you get home so fast. She's like, I'm going to a party, mom. She's like, have any boys come into that party? Because I will show up there.

You better crawl me in two hours. Go, go to the party. You, let's go. Let's go. Go. If any of them is made a buffalo hat, just let me know. She goes from this, like, it's so good to be with you Michael Campanella you sexy beast to warning her daughter

The plate she just got to do the plate it's just in half I don't know why I need water bottles for every I know That was a great use. I feel like we're an experimental theater. So, Sigi really saying, you know what? I'm feeling a little bit of that emptiness syndrome, which as we all know is when you pine for the days of watching dying a man off on your screens with Drifus the dog, but I also have an empty nest syndrome about my kids not being here, and Josh was gone off to college,

and Sophie's always going off with her friends, and nobody's asking for my help anymore. It's like, hello, I'm right here. I'm like, we literally know exactly where you are. Like the entire town knows, like she's just on like a megaphone and they're in our coldest act. I'm here at home!

No way that's for my help. If it makes you feel any better, people are asking you to get help. At least we're trying. So she's like, look, I got a little thing in the middle to take Michael Kim from that little thing of the point like that. Which I guess is the school thing. Is that a penalty? I don't know much about my colleges, but here, this goes here, it's just a little finger appointing. Well that's some JoJudice GI-G-E-V right there. Okay.

So, she's just really talking about trying to get Josh to go to Penn State and everything. And then she's like, I got the sheets, I got the towels. And Campanella's like, honey, we don't even know if he's gonna go there. But it's so cute, I'm so excited, I could be a mother of Penn State. Do you see me? Have you seen this woman? So then they go upstairs to have sex. Oh.

She's like, you know, if here's what I want to do, I want to go upstairs. And she's like nobody's home I say that every time I look at this woman's Instagram what happened to you her Instagram I liked it her Twitter come back Ziggy come back her Twitter bio says something like, canceled and shadow banned. I love shadow banned. Shadow banned. That's my favorite thing.

No one's commenting on my house. Open shadow banned. Like if like in a different reality, she'd be hosting Jeopardy or something, you know. It could have been so great. Let's go over to Melissa Stor. God bless. Yeah, for getting to do this. NV.

NV. Wow. So I just, I love how like when we say NV, just know everyone's like, uh-huh. That's no reaction from anyone at any show we've ever done. You can buy a decent canal street Chanel and a shirt that says envy. I mean, what's mom to love? Lots of shirts. Melissa, oh, sorry.

Oh, no, go ahead. I was going to say Melissa does something, one of my pet peeves. She walks in the store and the employee goes, how are you? And she goes, nothing much. That's so Melissa Gorka, she wasn't even listening. Wrong answer. So she's like, look at everything. Oh, I'm so happy that everything is here. I was like, what the fuck is this woman talking? She's shocked every time she walks into her own key. Yes. You know. Oh my God. There are cricket phones here. It's a cricket key.

Ask what the fuck you think is here. Lady? But she's very excited. But I had forgotten this storyline that she started this with that lady Jackie, who's like all feathers. And Melissa's like, here's what I want. Strings turned into clothes. And the lady's like, um, what I want. Strings turned into clothes. And the lady's like, hmm, we gotta have some taste.

So then Jackie and Melissa didn't get along. So then Jackie came in the middle of the night and took everything out of the store. And then she gave that shit to Kim D to sell. Yep, at posh. It's pretty crafty. I have to, I support it, to be honest. That's some good shit right there.

So, so there talk, some Melissa's talking to her employees about it. And you know, their employees are just there to like, lift Melissa up. I think that she hired them off of a Craigslist or something. And she's like, you know, she's like, wow, you know, it's just it's so sad that things didn't work out for me and Jackie. I mean, it's unfortunate. And they're like, yeah, like so sad the way it ended, you know, and she's like, you

know, she knew everything that was going on at the time with me and my mother-in-law. And I just, I never felt so helpless, and a lady goes, violated. Okay, so of course I Googled this, because you know I was like, I'm not even memory-in-line. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So from two fab in 2017, Melissa Gorgos partners,

secretly empties boutique in business rift. So this is Jackie's quote, just to clarify a couple of things. Melissa and I were partners. I decided I wanted out in determination agreement. We've been working on thumb on. We decided I would take the inventory and I was going to liquidate the straw because basically I own everything, which is most it didn't pay your shit. Okay. That's what she's saying, okay. So she's like just to clarify, oh yeah, again, I own everything. Everything. Everything. It's like, I'm just owning it.

I can't. I'm loving her, living it. I'm breathing. I fully support her because Melissa was trying to apparently only stock rompers. And she was like, you know what? I don't, Jackie's like, I don't have a brand, but if I did have a brand, it would be ruined right now.

So I'm just going to get out now. So then she's like, yeah, then you're going to take my clothes to the bottom of the barrel, candy, and then we see clips of that, God, that strip club owner guy when they're at that, when they're at the alternate how he Mandel. Yes, Jersey Mandel over there. Yeah. When he's like, oh yeah, I know Melissa. She was a dancer at my gentleman's club and then Kim D going, whoops, oopsies, whoops. Going, going, whoops.

Why does Kim D always smoking your pretend cigarette, but she's not? Why does she feel like she's like whoops? She is. Simuless is like, you know, she's a rat that's always looking for a piece of cheese and sometimes the rat comes out of the sewer and they get a piece of cheese and sometimes the rat comes out this sewer and they get a piece of cheese

And then the rat realizes it can't really digest cheese as well anymore So that's how it's friends listen guys. I had some dairy tonight and all the rats are like oh my god It's fine. You always have to say this we have pills for you rat and the rats like oh, thank you so much for bringing the pills I just had that cheese. Yes. You already said that part rat and then they watch a movie together. You know, I'm saying In case you don't know what she's saying, she has a placard that says, Bass bitch. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Okay, so then we go to Teresa's house with Jia and Remy, no, no. Yes, no, no. Love you, no, no. We love no, no. So, no, no, no is going to be taught out by... Tought out. What the fuck, Ronnie? She says, no, no, no is being taken out by Joe Gorgas.

So it's... We think I'm him. Gows, man. So yeah, she... Yeah, so she's gonna have a ladies night and some flowers are arriving, you know, and they're from Danielle's store. And, you know what I was like, whoo, and she, and she goes,

remember when mommy flipped the table. Oh, Eastern. That's Danielle. That's Danielle. That's Danielle's. No, the other time, mommy flipped the table. Oh, Easter! That's Danja. He studied with it Easter! No, the other time, mommy flipped the table. Ah! A preschool graduation! A preschool graduation!

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It was just so funny because the scene is like very, you know, because it's like memorial flowers and and it's like such a serious scene. It's like, yeah, that's, that's Danielle. And it just cuts the prostitution. How are you? I was fucking a king, young genius. Yeah, that's Danielle, yeah. Cause Teresa says, yeah, you know what? I was like, yeah, I don't, I don't, only reason I even got mad at them, I was like, she was like, coming for dinner.

That is some trevishness history, man. Yes, it's not trevishness history. That is a great nature. Not true. Yeah. Do not bring up. That's it, you fucking bitch. Daniel's just sitting there like,

oh, do you acknowledge you're not few? So, when I was a Wayne, you're starting thinking about things. So I was like, oh no. No girl, that's a Pandora's box. You don't want to know. So Teresa says she was thinking about things and we see a flashback to like, I guess the previous reunion and Andy is like

Hey, no, this is from Danielle's job. Okay. It's why it's so sticky now Now that Teresa worries about her own children funny about what she's done How on earth does she not see making things right for what she did to me. And just got to Teresa being like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Next question. Bing, bing, bing. Very hard. There's a lot of logic in that question that went overhead.

I might change, change, because we're doing yoga now. And then it cuts to a picture of Teresa and Danielle doing Namaste and yoga next to each other. It's classic photo. So funny and Danielle's face is like this. I'm coming for you. Boota bitch. I know. That bitch came for me. I'm coming for you. Brap. So yeah, they basically bonded over yoga and Danielle called her every day to check in to see if she was okay. And basically, so now Danielle is like back in the fold and everything. So now Joe Gorgher comes over, gets Nono out of there, and now the ladies are coming.

We sort of get like this. It's almost like a walking audition for people who can be next on the show. So we get like Lisa F. Remember Lisa F? Mmm. This was her scene, guys. I don't remember half these ladies. I do know this. They all look like people

who should be in her net. It's like every one of them I was like, did you work at Lubies? You know, it's like you can recognize the face. You guys don't have Lubies here. It's like a cafeteria, you know? There's like the Jello lady that you know. She's like, there's Mr. Jello loverO-Love-er again. You know? Like you might not recognize your impudlic, but man, you get that hair net on. And it's like, Jell-Lady. So, Sige comes over, she's like, Hi, my baby.

Hello, hello, hello. And then Dolores shows up. And Sige says something that she normally only says to Michael Campanello when she takes his pants off. Hi, D. Think about it. And Ziggy's like, hey. They got it.

It's wordplay. Little wordplay. Letterplay, really. Thank you. Ziggy's like, hot bra, the tray of star. Oh, there's already food look all these ladies brought food. Well great Nobody needs me here. Enjoy the food. I'm doing this food now, buddy. I'm Dean. That's syndrome So they sit down for Chinese food and then Dolores goes, you know what? I Need to know my fortune before I eat, okay?

Hand me a fucking cookie, let's get to the fortune. Okay, your living room will soon be a motorcycle garage. Okay. Don't know what that means. Sounds ridiculous. Be very, very careful on the stairs. What do you order this food from? Yeah, these don't make sense. Let me try another one.

Fakacha Alligators will be a thing. I don't know, it doesn't make sense. will be a thing. I don't know, it doesn't make sense. You're gonna walk from the living room to the dining room. Wow. From the dining room to the kitchen. From the kitchen to the dining room. Fuck these cookies. These don't make sense to me. None of these are going to come true.

So, she's like, all right girls, listen, I've got news. Frank is back home. And they're like, Whoa, whoa, they can't believe it, Frank! And one of the random ladies is like, Frank from the gas station? No, no. It's another Frank. Frank from the deli?

No, no, no. No, it's another Frank. That's another Frank. Frank from the dry clean. No, it's another Frank, all right? Frank from Blockbuster Video? No, that's Joe. That was Joe. That was Joe. That was Joe. Who invited this city? Frank, my ex-husband, who cheated on me? And they're like, oh, boy! A Jello ladies, like, mm, rosanna's there. She's like, I can't wait to tell other rosanna about this.

Rosanna and Rosanna. Rosanna and Rosanna, right? Yeah, there is a Rosanna and Rosanna on the show. But we only had one Rosanna in this scene. You're a couple, right? Rosanna and Rosanna? It's hard to know. Okay, so let's see.

So they're talking about Frank coming back It's hard to know. Okay, so let's see. So they're talking about Frank coming back and Trees is like, Oh, but you know why? Like, he's gaming this new guy and I give the old guy things out of my friends, the new guy might not like that. And Dolores is like, well, she tells us about this new guy. A couple of months ago, I met a really great guy. He's a doctor. David. David. David. David. David. And he delivers. I was just so turned

on to meet a man who was named Frank for once. All right. He delivers babies, so he's very sweet. And totally opposite of anything else I've ever been with. You should see Frank try to deliver a baby. It doesn't work out very well. Frank delivering a baby. Hey, you feel okay. I found a baby.

I brought it to you. I brought it to you. It's like a 12-inch sub from Subway. Frank, how many times I have to tell you? So, um, Siggie's like, oh my God, I mean look at everything that's happening. You're with the cheetah again to reach the last half-father. We should go to Pocobraton! I know. My hometown!

Settle Siggie. Settle Settle Siggie. Yeah. So now let's go see one of Siggie's famous talks. Yes. Oh yeah, because she lands a really big gig, really big speaking gig on the show at Prison Med Spa, which by the way, I feel like it's very dangerous to say that we're at Prison around Teresa. It can be very easily confused.

Hey! I don't want to go to Prison. Can we come out and camp spa? So it's basically this little, like it's like a hair salon or something. It's like this little, it's like a hair salon or something. It's like this little it's like a size of like redid envy. Like they didn't even bother to get a new place. They took all the t-shirts out of M.G.M.V. and stuck some litgloss in there and called it a call-in-a-spot. So Sikki comes in like Sikki always comes in.

Oh my god, this place looks great. Is that a microphone? Oh my God, this is my microphone. Okay, can you imagine? Listen here, lady, we'll open some meds. Spa. The advice I speak about is soup to nuts. The best thing you're ever gonna hear. Is this my microphone? Let's soup this.

Soup to nuts. Soup to nuts. What does that mean? It's an expression. I don't know what it, I mean, I don't know what it's orange is. But it is something that people say is soup to nuts. Soup toets. Soup tenets. What does that mean? It's an expression. I don't know what it is oranzo, but it is something that people say. Soup tenets. Soup tenets. Soup tenets.

That's how I talk about my relationship with Michael Campanella. We start with soup and we end up with nuts. So Siggie is like over the past year, my book has taken off and sold five of copies. So I go from town to town and I give these lectures and speaking engagements for anybody who just wants to be inspired while they also are picking out some moose for the hair. There's nothing like getting inspired while you're getting taken care of those angry elevenths. I see you.

I see you. So I've written a book, it's called, Brian Young Fairy Tale. My fairy tale was already written. Bitch walks into house, eats all the food there, then sleeps in all of the beds, poops and all the toilets, complains about everything and leaves.

Okay. Done. Why write anything else? I wrote a fairy tale. It's called Cinderella got shadow band. So, she sort of did actually, if you think about it. So that, I'm actually not so shadowy. It's like blatant ban. She got canceled by her own stepmother.

Well, she was pretty shadow, well, she kind of shadowed bans herself. You know what I mean? Kind of like Ziggy, you're like Cinderella, you did this to yourself. You left the ball. Okay. The man, you didn't even look at the man closely enough. Like, you didn't know what you looked like without makeup. You know what I mean? Shout out back, Cinderella, who nobody asks anything from. Who?

So, people start coming into the city, starting to do their holostriction. Dolores! I love Dolores, everyone. I love Dolores. What an Dolores, everyone! I love Dolores! What an amazing beauty being everyone! That was exciting! Jody!

Jody, I just got a fist bump from Jody. Jody number one. Oh my God, he now here comes one of the best people in the world, boring Jody who can ever get on this show, but she's brought a new cast member, Margaret Joseph! Hi, hi, hi everyone, hi pop culture. Hello everyone, I'm a writer, I'm here everyone, hi, hi. Hi, I'm Michael Joseph, nice to meet you. I got pig tails, okay?

This is Margaret, Margaret beats to her own drum and she doesn't let anybody else say hey Why am I beating a drum while I'm also moving to another rhythm because that's you know what souped in that's it's Margaret Joseph I have a drum I sell drums part of the Macbeth Collection, musical line. OK. So Ciki tells us the story about how Margaret came into her life. And I feel so bad for Jody, because the story is basically who's poor boring Jody. Poor Jody.

I met Margaret through Jody. And Jody works for Margaret. And now Margaret's a cast member. I know and I know who Jody is. Poor Jody and Jody works the Margaret and now Margaret's a cast member. No one knows who Jody is. Poor Jody. Jody's just holding a stack of books to sign like, hi, it's me, Jody. And Jody's put in the time because Sigi says, Jody has come to 16 of my events so far. Jody's like, what else do I have to do to be a cast member?

Plus, Jody's heart. So, Sikki starts giving her speech, which is kind of just like her regular talking. She doesn't really move. She just still has a water bottle mic, you know? It's like, hello, everyone. I am Sikki Flicka, someone who asks people things. Okay, now listen, I do not have an inside voice. Okay. Oh my god

Look, it's Michael Campanella. I'm married. I love having sex. It's insane. Oh Here's my advice get a little finger that's always doing this Pointing up Pointing up finger my philosophy is no Pointing up, pointing up, finger. My philosophy is, no, you're worth. Truly love who you are. And people are always like, oh, SIGGI, it's easy for you. Because I look like a sex toy, right?

I'm a sexy, sexy, sex toy. Soup to nuts. People just want to have sex with me everywhere I go. I'm all right. Sorry, Sophie., sorry Sophie. Supe the Michael Campanella's Nats. I'm gorgeous. She tells us when I look out on the crowd

and people are hanging on my every word, it is orgasmic for me. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! No! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah I'm not even recently, I don't even know who from, but know your worth. But then she's like, listen, people say it's easy for me because I'm so gorgeous. But you know what, look, I felt I got a divorce.

Okay, so just remember this, a man's rejection is God's protection. And then it just cuts to some ladies like, crying. She also said. She also said. It's like God's got secret service around us. And then it just cuts to some ladies like crying She also said God's got secret service around us She also goes the point is a lot of brilliant people have been rejected I just like that she elevated herself because she's been rejected like guys I Got divorced, but don't worry a lot of brilliant people get divorced too, so you

know. Follow your dreams, moisturize, and if you want a signed book, now it's the time! She's like behind the cash register, like, so Margaret gets a book and she's like, oh, look at this, no, your fairy tale. Should I put this up with my fireplace? Well, it'll make it much more convenient to throw it in there later. Yes. Because you know her as it did.

She even cared it was a gas fireplace. So Siggy's like, so Margaret said, you know, I'm just been so busy. I've been traveling non-stop since Christmas. OK, looking at a fire and what for a new sea-themed shirt for Joe, okay? And next week I'm going to Palm Beach and like to be honest, like my line is very Palm Beach right now, okay? I mean, I've just got so much going on, just like Palm Beach, you know, I've got changed posts, but sheets fitted, sheets lit glass little pine trees that hang on

your rearview mirrors, coasters, soap holders, ptails. That's right me. You can't buy them. You can't make those I do sell little pigtail holders So if you want those bokeh sounds like bokeh March is just coming in She's ready to be invited so sicky bass invicer bokeh You're going to bokeh We're going to boca. We're going to boca. You see when I'm talking about, we're all going to boca. Now you're a morgue.

Sikki Basin. Good Lord, lady. So, then we go over to Dolores's house, which, you know which there's not a single scene with Dolores at home that doesn't open up with either Frank saying, Dolor! Or Dolores going, Frankie. So this is a Frankie, Frankie. And little Frankie, he's like,

what are you packing for, Mom? And she goes, well, I'm going to Boca with my friends. Ss. Can you see it? You excited, dad's home, Frankie? Yeah, because time is back in the hourglass. The girls are ruined. That's my boy, Frankie. That's my boy. So this is going to be the first time that Frank and Frank you're going to be alone together for a weekend, like ever in their lives. And what's going to happen? There are a lot of gay porn that start that way.

It's a very specific, it's a specific niche, but they exist. I mean, you just write them in your head. Minoral kind of awkward though, he never calls like the plumber. It's just me like, I'm the plumber. I didn't call no plumber. Yeah, but I am one. I'm fire man. We didn't call the fire man.

I'm a fire man. Pizza delivery. I didn't order a pizza. It all sounds like dialogue written by Teresa. Oh, and speaking of which, Teresa, so now Teresa's home. She's talking to the kids being like you know I'm gonna be gone. No, no, we'll be here, but if anything Zio Joe's gonna be here and then she goes Kapish Which reminded me that this was the season where she said Kapisha read like every scene

Kapish Kapish like a peesh every scene. A peesh! Come on. Peesh! Ah, ma-a-a! That's my favorite Teresa. So they get on the plane, and of course, we just get a little snip from someone's cell phone, which, man, cell phones really do change over there. Because this one's like the potato version.

You just see Stiggy like, oh, it's like, oh my god, robot, robot, go! I was like, oh my God, robot, a bokeh. I was like, what's this cell phone for 19, 20? This is only a few years ago. It's crank powered. She's like, so they're going down there and Sidgy's like, I'm a Jersey girl at heart, but bokeh Ratana's my second home.

I lived there for 10 years. My babies were born there. Oh, my best friends lived there. I have my plastic surgeons there. I have four to five restraining orders against me there. I love it there. So then they're in the van to the hotel and the guy opens the door and he goes, Hi, how are you? Can you help me? I've full out of cars. They're staying at a hotel called the Waterstone, which I thought was funny because like the iconic Who can you help me, I pull out a car. Wow. They're staying at a hotel called the Waterstone, which I thought was funny because the iconic institution of this

show is the Brownstone. And I just like the fact that they just stay in places with stone and then an adjective that describes the neighborhood. Some kind of stone. Yeah, like Waterstone for Florida, Brown for those dead leaves that they always show and Franklin Lakes. Just an observation guys. This whole episode has had a lot of depressing things injected into it right.

So they're trying to have like fun vocal tripping so far, wearing vocals. It's like ring ring and the music's like, don't do that, don't do that. She's like, uh uh, my phone didn't ring, didn't. She's like, uh-uh, my phone didn't ring, didn't. And it's like, the music is like from American beauty. It's like, tunt, tunt, tunt, tunt, tunt, tunt. And it's like very serious. It's like, oh my God, what's happening with Adriana?

Like, is she okay? Like, what's happening? And Adriana's like, ah! Okay, I could, but, but, but, but, but, but, but. Look. It's balancing a banana. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

It's like thanks for stopping the whole show for that very serious moment. You can't fake us out in a parent died episode. That's not cool. So they go to the balcony. This guy's like, welcome to the presidential suite. I was like, is N DeVita the president? Because that's the only person I know

that would think this is a big room, sir. This is big room. You could fit like three prison meds bars in that thing, which does not say anything about the size of the room. But I don't know why I'm just going in on prison meds by this poor people. Geez, can prison have anything? So they're looking out over the balcony and Siggie's like, this is like bokeh! Dolores Gus, do you know how long it's been since I've been on vacation?

And Teresa Gus, I haven't had one in four years. From that. Yeah. Well, it depends on how you define vacation, I guess. So anyway, so Teresa is very happy. She's like, We all have the legal issues and my mom passing away, I want to be able to travel for more than a few, for a hundred miles.

And I still am probation, but being able to fly to Florida makes me feel like things are getting back to normal. I'm like, I feel like if going to Florida, like instills a sense of normalcy There's some issues. Yeah You know You're not healed

Sign number one so then we get marched driving a ramp flood in the conferee So she's driving around in her fabulous car, you know? And she's like, I call myself the powerhouse in Picked Tales. I'm the founder of a multi-million-a-dala business. All right, the Macbeth Collection by Margaret Josephs didn't end well if you've seen the play. Thankfully in Jersey, most people don't even know what the fuck that means. So it's still working for me.

Shake Spear is too old to sue for copyright infringement. So it's working out for me. And we see her in her office with her team, including Lexi. Lexi is actually back to the very first episode. Yes, Lexi. And Mara was looking at some little thing and she's like, I mean, look at this, like how dope it is. Okay, but you know what, it's just a little bit too much like an elephant dick, you know? And Lexi's like, it's like every elephant dick that boy they've

ever seen! I believe in love for your challenge, person! I'm like, what did she say? She's like, what do you like some ball talk, man? All these years later, I still cannot do it. Every time it comes out of something completely different, her voice. It's just a magical accent she has. So, Marge is like, actually, I've run my business out of my home, which I just love, and I have so many products, but you know what? I'm trying to work on this new thing, because I've been listening to this So Marge is like actually I'd run my business out of my home Which I just love and I have so many products but you know But I'm trying to work on this new thing because I really like coffee, but I don't really like it hot

I like cold, but I'm not really sure what to call it yet, but you know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna marinate on that, okay? I'm gonna work on that for a little bit. We're gonna workshop that it's gonna be a revolution Let me tell you, not hot coffee. Good, not this, right? It doesn't have a- It doesn't have a- Not singing, okay? Lexi, what do you think it should be called?

Anything gig? No, no, no. I don't even know what the fuck you're saying. Which is kind of why I like you. You're like a madlibs for my feelings. So Marge senior is there. And yeah, and she's like, you know that guy I went out with, he called today, and Marge goes, oh, you're quite a little Hussie in Marge senior, little Hussie, little Hussie, hey, have you ever gotten really mad and stormed off?

Would that be considered a Huss off or a Huff off? I don't know. You know what? It would chop that up. It would chop that up. It would chop that up. Um, so she is talking about how crazy it is that she has all these women working in the house because the husband's home. So you know when we just when he wants to make up of this tiny little eyes and I wanted you to sit there on the bed, Chris Cross applesauce

saying what's the gossip, Joe? What's the gossip? You want to have sex with the gossip? It's all these girls that can hear me you You know, it's very awkward. It's so awkward when the girls can hear me picking out a C-film shirt for Joe to wear, okay? So then we get a little clip and Benino's like, oh my god, Margie, I can hear your cackling down there. You win the girls and you're like, you're with Lou, to Kakal Bobby, we're at Joe. And he's like, I don't hear work and only Kakalin. She's the Joe. You know what?

Go make me some coffee that's not hot. OK, gosh, that sounds right. We're going to get there. We're going to get there, Joe. So then Margaret gives us some of her backstory. She goes, OK, when I met my husband, Joe, we were both married to separate people. OK, this all took place in Tenefly.

And he had come into my life because he was a contractor. And he came to do our molding. And my marriage was going down the tubes anyway. And we had this unbelievable chemistry. And we just fell in love and scandalized all of Tenefly and one fell soup. It was terrible. You know, whether it was a huge scandal in our little town,

but then again, so were flip-flops. And you know what, they caught on. So I seldom would little whales on it. I've been sued for it, but you know what? We're going to take care of that another time. OK. So anyway, this is my fucking life. And you know what?

Take me for who I am. OK, take me for who I am. Okay, take me for who I am. Is that rent? Is that rent? Oh, yeah. I was like, I sense musical theater guys. Take me for what I am, what I be meant to be. And if you give a damn, put some something called

in some coffee, it's gonna come to me. It's gonna come to me. It's gonna come to me. God, I'm just gonna come. It'll come. So Margaret arrives at the hotel. She meets up with the women and everything. And Melissa goes, she has pigtails. I just met a woman with pigtails.

Like it's this revolutionary thing. She's sitting there with like, you know, the biggest duck lips we've ever seen and she's shocked at pig tails. So then Teresa's like I you want me all blinded and I'm not pulling down my pants right now but thanks Teresa. So then they get back in the van to go to dinner and Ziggy goes, sir, could you put on the air? I don't have a universe. Sss. It's been shadow banned.

Sss. Sss. So Melissa's like, Melissa's one of her valiant attempts to start a storyline for herself. Oh my God, I've been married for almost 13 years and I've never, ever, ever texted my husband and naked picture and I just did. Everyone's like, yeah.

No one believes it, but I'm actually really shy. Oh. So they get, they show up at this restaurant and Siggy is so excited. She's basically like, I've been on reality TV for a year now and I'm going to go into like this restaurant and act like the shit, right? So she's like, the Lord has opened up the door right now, I gotta get in there! So they go in the restaurant and she's like, Hi everybody! Oh God!

My favorite restaurant in the world! Hi Wendy, hi I can't, I can't. Hi Wendy, hi, hi, Sarah! Oh my God, Beth, Beth! best oh my god you look great. I don't even know who you are, but I love you already. Oh my god show in Jody We're not Jill Zarin

Children! Bar, you have new plans, I love you, Bar, you look so great! Believe in yourself, plants, one day you can be dreams! A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of fabric up by my side, a little bit of freedom, all I need. by my side, a little bit of freedom, so I need... I'm not by everybody! A little Campanelas, what I feel. SIGGI NUMBER FIVE! So Melissa and Theresa are like...

It's like, yeah, you're real Catillion girls, you two. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Boca. Sometimes my little... I know, like, wow. I know. Sometimes my SIGGI gets a little excited. I forgot that Dolores loved SIGGI. Like, yeah, they were besties. They were besties. I forgot Dolores picking the wrong team since forever. I know. Dolores is every guy in front of the TV tonight.

God, banny! Every guy. Well, at least she's picked a hot team for the moment, so that's good. But then Ziggy just comes back to the table with someone else's blake. She's like, I stole it from someone's table. I'm like, fuck you, bring me back my pasta. Tonight was my carb night. So then the waiter comes over. This is crazy.

Last night in DC, this waiter's niece was at the show and she came up to us and she was like, do you remember my uncle Jimmy and we're like, actually, yes, and we're gonna be talking about him tomorrow night. Yeah. So what's up, Uncle Jimmy? Wow.

Yeah. Have your cousin call and see if Jimmy's in the restaurant right now. Melissa, are you with Jimmy? Are you with Jimmy? But this girl was so Jersey-tea because she goes, do you remember Jimmy? I said, yeah, and so she goes, no, this Jimmy This Jimmy right here. I said, yeah, like I just watched it this morning, you know, I was like, yeah, just you fucking liar I was like, yeah, just you fucking liar. So Jimmy, poor Jimmy, I mean, he has to put up with us every time. He has a big smile and he's like, Jimmy, get me the best champagne. I need drinks, I need bread, I need this tochas right here, Jimmy.

And charge it to that table, okay? Jimmy, Jimmy's like, I love you. He's like that put upon guy at the quiet woman that Shannon is always going in there. Oh, Julius, Julius happened to... What did this happen to you? Was it my boss? What? Just happened to walk into quiet woman.

Oh, you know me? What? What? What? I'll have some cast amigos with an extra shot of cast amigos, please, thank you. So Marge has lasted, or she did well on the show, because she is not going to be upstage.

Marge showed up in a convertible she rented, and she's getting everything in there. She's like, I fucked the contract. I sell everything from soups to nuts literally. Sigi takes her to her home turf and is going all over and Marge is like, oh, so anyway, I ended up working today because my shoe guys from Miami is here. That's just such a thing to say. My shoe guy. Mr. Pabla sitting right here. That's my shoe guy. Well, sonyore Pérez.

She's really, I mean, Marge is smart. She's trying, she's like, OK, I'm going to get my backstory in during the scene. But Siggie's not going to let her have it. Because Siggie's like, because Melissa goes, oh my god, you're like Martha Stewart. And Siggie goes, Melissa goes oh my god. You're like Martha Stewart and Siggie goes more like Margaret Stewart And then and then wait is that like mountains? No, what oh?

Yeah, I remember her I saw her at camps. Yeah, they got a picture of her at the cafeteria camps They did go to the same camp actually. Uh-huh. They did don't fuck what huh? Don't fuck what huh? Don't fuck what huh? Kapish Kapish so Margaret trying to start her storyline and see he just then takes it over and she's like guys guys guys guys guys And Michael Campanella. I need your advice Because now I'm going through something because when I I speak to people, it makes my heart sing.

And with my heart sings, it sounds like this. Ah! But on the other hand, I have a great, great man. And he doesn't like, for me to work, as much as I do. And then we get a clip of Michael Campanella dinner going, I mean, you're doing three to four appearances a week. Do you think you should slow it down a little bit? And she's like, I'll think about it, Michael Campanella.

He's like, I'm not asking. I'm telling. Slow it down. Listen here, you wonky eyed little fuck. Yes. I'm no SIGGI fan at this point, but even that woman deserves to be a monster on her own terms. That is so right.

So SIGGI, we come back and SIGGI is like, you know, I do three events a week, but now I'm down to two. And Melissa goes, oh, that's hard. So hard to do those 20 minute talks twice a week. It is. You know, it's very hard to bear. It's like when I got divorced and my husband really got that 13 years, it was a huge scandal

in 10. You might have heard of it, 10 of fly. All right. We'll get back there in another chapter. But anyway, huge scandal, not granted. I did run away with the contractor. OK, so I can understand. And Melissa's like, you did, yeah. You know, when the whole scandal happened,

people said I must have ice flowing through my veins. You know, it was almost like very cold ice. It's almost like someone took coffee and put it in my veins. But God, it's almost like very cold ice. It's almost like some chakoffee and put it in my veins. But God, I feel like I'm on the verge of something here. I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. And Teresa, when she hears that Marge ran away with the contractor, you know that Teresa just went to jail

for signing a bunch of contracts that she didn't know what they were. And Teresa's not that smart. She's just like, hmm. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink getting her story again and thinking like I'm gonna pivot it so she's like here we are talking about our husbands wanting us to quit and Teresa can't stop working and Teresa's like Like I'm working because your husband he's in prison You can't stop riding here. We're with my wonderful Teresa with nothing.

I was like, oh yeah, yeah, I like to keep businesses and like, there's book signings and I'm starting a new book and what I miss most about Jo being here is that he's not here to swindle me out of all the money I would have made on my books. And she's like, yeah, I'm not at Joan, cause I ain't win a wave, but that's what my mom was saying. And then so I didn't get to say, I'm mad. And then Melissa Gus, this is very different for Teresa. She never shows anger.

Yeah. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! And then Teresa says, If things were done right, if he had been putting me and his four daughters first, we wouldn't have been in this predicament.

And Melissa's like, this is different for Teresa. She never says words with three syllables. Predicament. Ha! Ha! Ha! So there's Teresa. different for Theresa. She never says words with three syllables. Predigaments. So there's Theresa's like, thank you for doing this for me and thank for every of friend who ordered this fish because it was not my ass. And Martin's like, yes, and thank you so much for inviting me. If anybody ever needs change per se, co-starved, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh're talking about Joe, you dice, and Ziggy goes,

you know what, you have a right to be upset because when Joe comes home, be ready to also deal with your feelings. And then Dolores goes, you know what, when Joe went away, I said Theresa will never leave him. She will stand by and wait. But that's before her mom passed away. I just

love their optimism that they have about this whole situation. It really says a lot for New Jersey. Well, you just can't plan for everything in a relationship. You can't plan a man getting tackled by ice, for example. You know? Do you sometimes think just come out of nowhere? So now it's the next day. It's another getting ready montage. Sure, it's the morning, right? So Joe, Gorgah, Melissa are talking on the phone.

And Joe's like, happy birthday. There you have it. I forgot the rest of the swan, but guess what? Toss-ins hard. Dairy. Dairy is. He's ready. I forgot the rest of the swan, but guess what? Tarzan's hard, Derry! Derry is, he's ready. My man! Derry is.

Melissa, can you believe I did that? I sent a photo. I'm so hard, right? I just came. I just came right now. I just came right now. I just came. So he's like, how's it going with my sister speaking of?

And she's like, OK, I'll take your booze for that one. I'll take a worm like a blanket. And she's like, you know what? She was actually expressing herself last night with words. You've never seen that before. She said, predicament, huh? Predictament. Yeah, I got a dick.

Yeah. I got a dickament. Yeah. I got a minty dick. OK, Joe. So then Teresa calls Gia. Well, Gia calls Teresa. And she's like, mom, who's picking up Adrianna from down?

So because Nuno's in the car with me, and he's just yelling. And you just hear Nuno going, REEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Poor no-no. They're just all over the Jersey term pipe. BADDASTRIAN! BADDASTRIAN! She is like, he's giving me a fucking anxiety attack, ma. Alright, Ma, you're draining my phone battery, bye. I just hear the sound of the car plowing through a Starbucks. So then outside Dolores is on the phone with Frankie's tutor. Do you want to use a water bottle?

I would love to. Hi, Deb. What's going on with this kid? Well, let me tell you, I don't think that Frankie's turned in any of his call Oh, sorry. I was just talking to you got to use your phone Deb sorry, okay, I got the water bottle Yeah, you know, I don't think that Frankie's turning in any of his applications for college. Oh Did somebody drop the ball?

I? Did somebody drop the ball? I think the Frankie dropped the ball on that. Wow. So he's not getting in anywhere. Well, you know what your options are? You could appeal it. The manzoes did that a few years. It didn't really work. Yeah. It didn't really work. So they did come out with a very dark water though so that was something. So Deb, Deb. What you're telling me is that Frankie's not going to go off to school and my little shadow is going to stay in the kitchen drop and pasta everywhere for me to pick up. Is that what you're saying? Here's what I'm saying. There's going to be so many unfed ovaries in schools across America. Fix this to Loris.

Deb, I'm a wreck. I'm an emotional wreck. I can't contain myself, Deb. I'm losing it. I'm afraid I'm going to say something very terrible, Deb. Oh, I'm mad. I just did it right there. I'm so sorry, Deb. Well, let me tell you something, Deb. Oh, I'm mad. Oh, I just did it right there. I'm so sorry, Deb.

Well, let me tell you something, man. You better fix it. Oh, I'm taking everything, everything, everything. Hey, it's Jackie. Is this Jackie? She turns, she turns, Frank, into a romper. It's Jackie and an envy turbine. Like, haha! I just also feel like Deb is the most deluracy tutor name.

Like of course Delores hires a tutor named Deb. Deb. And it's so fitting for this show because it's only one letter away from that. No, no, no, on this show it's pronounced deadeted. Devonan. Speaking of pronunciation, so everyone starts gathering around a table for brunch and everything and they sit down and they start ordering and Teresa is like, I'll have a mimosas. So they're gathered outside. It's like one of those beautiful

Bokalake! It's like a table outside, you know? And then we hear Boom! Boom! Boom. Nature finds a way. Boom. That was all I had in that sky. There being 12 beautiful games in there. It's not a giant. It's me, Danielle Stor. That's right, bitches, I'm back. Which to be fair, she's been saying in like literally every store for the past five years.

It's me, the ideal stop. I'm back. It's like, ma'am. It's like Instagram, ma'am. Like every time she signs on, I'm back. Bitch. I also love how they did the commercial because she goes, I'm so sorry, I have to find, because they say the same thing 20 times in these notes, right? So she goes, I'm bad bitches and then they go to commercial and then it comes back and she goes, that's right bitches, I'm bad. I know. Which is very meta if you think about it. So we got so many readings of that. I know.

I want to talk about McBeth. So she's like, I'm from... And from where it's coast to where it's coast. Oh, look, it's the ghost from Christmas past. God, what sort of Christmas is she been having? Listen, here, George Bailey, you were a piece of shit, but you were hands up once. You were hands up once.

Every time a bell rings a prostitution hall gets its wings. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! So, Danielle Orders, I need coffee and a bloody berry.

There's some stuff all of us need in disguise. Don't, don't, don't. I'm back bitches, just to know, keep it going. She's like, it never in a million years did I think. Theresa and I would be vacationing together. With Theresa reached out to me. Theresa did not reach out to you. You saw a tiny bit of vulnerability and you're fucking swooped right in there and don't think I've ever forgiven you

for bringing Melissa on this show either. Don't think I've forgotten about it. Well it's funny that you say that because then Melissa tells us, it's so crazy, but I really, really, really like Danielle's job. I think she's super cool and she entertains me. We'll clearly be friends for many, many, many seasons. Yeah, well, you know, Melissa at least gave kind of, at least she was grateful this season because you remember at that reunion when Danielle was like, do you ignore your net, do you acknowledge your net view?

And treats her like, one, no, no, no, no, no, don't don't give them a family. So she lost it because Melissa was face time messaging her that whole time being like, she doesn't even acknowledge her net view. That's where Danielle was getting all this shit. So, it's a better, we're thankful. Yeah. Okay.

So, Danielle better get a fucking Christmas ham every year, from out later. So we see a little flashback of Danielle with her, you know, forever partner, Marty, you know, which is nice. It's just fun to see all the things that are going to fall apart, you know. And Teresa saying how, you know, it's just picked up where they left off and everything. And they're just like, they're in a really good place. And Danielle is like, I don't know how long it's going to last. Two seasons, but I'm hoping it's for real. She goes, now ladies, let's start with the light stuff.

Now the dark stuff, because the stuff we all got to talk about one person in particular and thinking goes, I really imagine what my lungs are like. I know you want me to set the fecca, but I can't. Okay, and singing and Danielle together. And I love that Delores, like Danielle's saying this stuff, but we gotta talk about this. And Delores tells us, am I the only one that thinks this is crazy? Does anyone else knows this fucking nut job

is at our table right now? Anyone? And she's like, oh, she sits right down and gets right to it. Light your own candle, get to watch a woman wanting your own garden, side your own candle, get to a cheerful woman, wanting your own garden, side your own sidewalk, run, jump, fairy tale, that girl starts to shiggy fucking aily.

And they start to, ooh, good catch, it's OK, it's empty. And so they start to, they start to bond, Daniel, and Seeky start to bond right away, because Daniel's like, I'm a Leo, and Seeky's like, oh, Leo's in Gemini's got a long very well. Danielle's like, oh, well, you know there's two of you because you're a Gemini and Sikie goes, yes, Michael Campanola's always like,

twin number two, can you please go away? And I'm like, twin number one, come out, twin number two has been shadow bad by Michael Campanola. I can't believe they didn't cut this part out, because Lord knows at this point, we do not need to talk about twins. On real high-size of niche. That's right.

We don't talk about twins. Those twins almost killed this show. So, Teresa is like, I haven't seen that signing you singing. I hope you've never seen that, blah, blah. I'm like, oh, you're going to dinner soon. Mm. Okay. So they start talking about, like, what's the bad news?

And so, like, then Daniel starts to bring up the fight. There's this crazy and horrific story about this car that, like, that was registered to Kim D, that was burned to a crezbo, and there were two people inside. And Kim D was, you know, reasonably obviously very scared that I was her son. Like, this is, I mean, real house has a new jersey has some crazy stuff that just sort of casually happens

on the sidelines here, you know? Any other show would be like, oh my god, Kim D's son was he in the burning car? What happened on this show? They're like, Kim D's car was found burnt to a criss. What a bitch. I know. I know.

It's just a huge shit talking, Kim D section. And Dolores goes, could you imagine? I mean, you can't find your kid in the store for two seconds, you lose your mind. It's like the other day I went to AMP, and I was like, Frankie, where are you? I'm just imagining Frankie and Frank and Dolores in different aisles, this is your market.

Dolores, Dolores! Frank, Frank, ma, ma, ma, Frankie, ma, I'm by the papayas, I'm by the papayas. Oh! Welcome to Fischdix, come to Fischdix. Well, I haven't spoken to her since she orchestrated my hair getting pulled out of my head at the country club.

Another thing you'll only hear on this show. And in case you forgot what that was like, we then got a... One of many different whales that comes from this episode. So then they talk about how Melissa is pissed that they're even talking about Kim D. She's like, that lady is like a cockroach. She's a cockroach. She's a big cockroach. Okay, and you know what?

Like, I can see a cockroach coming. No one can see a cockroach. Wait, cockroach coming, the way no one can see a cockroach. Wait, I, cockroach, cockroach, everyone. Cockerotes. Sometimes you turn on lights and there's a cockroach there and then sometimes it's dark

but you know that they're there but you don't see the cockroach and then you're like, there's a cockroach but nobody believes you but then you turn on the lights and there's a cockroach. Killed it, Melissa. Killin' it with these animal things today.

What was her one earlier? Cheese. Rats with cheese, y'all. It's like a rat with cheese that sees a cockroach. Am I right, everyone? It's like Jersey's version of our planet. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. The cockroaches and the natural habitat.

These cockroaches had such a beautiful planet until we killed it with gasoline It almost sounds like noella narrating well Cockroaches can live for years and years much longer than a marriage to sweet James longer than a marriage to sweet James. So then, uh, Siggie's like, Siggie Flicker asks that you respect my friendship spot days in the making. And like your friends with her is like, yes, I am.

Five years in the making if you would like your book signs now is the toll. Oh. And Melissa's like, well, guess what? It doesn't matter how much you kiss Kim D's ass. She's going to backstab you. And Siggie's like, oh, yes, it is true. Kim D, a former guest on Water Crappens. And Siggie's like, Melissa, I'm still pissed

that you think I kiss her ass and I want a shadow ban you right now, but it's your birthday. And then poor Danielle goes, oh we going shopping because I've got bodies credit card. No, I'm gonna use it. No, so Marty, really? I mean, geez geez she really did Marty by the end was like He's in the pool so then In the pool so then we go we go up to the gorillas and that's now one of those scenes like hey

I'm a man, but I gotta do a woman thing now. I got to raise children I'm a man, but I gotta do a woman thing now. I gotta raise children. I'm the fun fan, Melissa's the mean one, because she's a lady, but I'm the fun one. What's up with food fight right now, right? What? I love this, one of the kids takes like a, I'll do what I can.

Can you just go like this, he's like, boop, and Joker's like, ha ha ha, and then he just takes a bag and just well That's like throws the milk out She gets all over And just like Antonia Antonia how you get this off you're a woman. I was like excuse me It's fucking so I So getting right they're getting ready again. This is like the 18th getting ready montage. We've had

Getting right they're getting ready again. This is like the 18th getting ready montage. We've had It's like Jimmy the waiter like just putting on Beshamel sauce or something all right So they they get ready and they meet up with Mage okay and Margaret does her thing I'm one of my favorite things that Margaret does is when she kisses him on the cheek She does like a two-hand thing because most people if you're gonna get I when she kisses someone on the cheek, she does a two-hand thing. Because most people, if you're going to kiss someone on the cheek right now, Ronnie, are you ready for this? Normally people go like this.

Right? But Margaret goes like this. Hold on, everyone. Give me a shoulder. She's like a little adorable, praying mantis. Like a little, and you're always going to see it, and it's the most charming thing. Two hands on the shoulders and a kiss, okay? Huh.

So they're sitting around and marred like, so Danielle, you favorite quiet Danielle. And Danielle's like, I don't do well with outsiders. Lady, you've been kicked off this show for six seasons. I know. Can we just pull the outsiders card? Yeah, you are no longer the owner of this home ma'am, OK?

Yes. Which, of course, we later learned is like a continuing problem with her. You cannot evict Danielle. OK. I just don't think that you're allowed to say you have a problem with outsiders when you're the friend of a Margaret's the cast member,

but that's fine. So they just make some small talk, and Daniel's like, if you want to make me feel that it danced on the table, which kind of explains a relationship with Melissa. And maybe Marty. So the margin's like, well, I'm afraid I'm going to break the table.

I'm not the skinniest girl. OK. And Daniel's like, well, OK, all right, going to break the table. I'm not the skinniest girl. OK. And Daniel's a world fan. OK. All right. So let me try to embarrass you in a different way. Why don't you drink?

And she's like, oh, well, I'm a little controlling. And I also get horrible night migraines. I'm naturally high. I do have one little drug that I have that I enjoy. OK, my husband, I do. Pat Puss. Not to be confused with Pat the P, it's potpuss, okay? It's a spray that you put on the purse,

and it's supposed to have the most unbelievable orgasm. It's like Sigi hearing herself talk, a great orgasm. I need that. We all know what Joel says. Ah. And Margaret is a great sales pitch for it. She goes, this is how you use it. Squirt, squirt, marinate for 20 seconds like chicken. I mean, is everyone horny?

Oh, 20 minutes. You marinate it for 20 minutes like a chicken, she says. I can't. But we're all horny now, right? I mean, that is too much prep. I was, I did think that 20 seconds was awfully fast. Yeah, that's not marinating. That's like the chopped food network version of marinating.

I know. I was like, what chicken has Margaret been eating? Yeah, that was the 20. That was too much preparation. Even getting the condom is like, oh, I'm exhausted, Matt, can we do this another time? It's too much for me. We're thinking about something else, you know.

So they're doing shots and Melissa's like, I'm so drunk, yeah. So then Teresa's like, oh, I'm a gonna let that tell the story about your natural arid pony. I ain't told my brother you was dancing with a nine. Let her tell the story if you're gonna ask her to tell. I hate when people do that. Hey man, tell that story right now when you said I've had a bunch of badminton balls right now. Ha ha ha ha.

It's very much like Padma on her show. When she's like, please tell me what's the story of chapter. I'll tell you on Padma Lakshmi. That's what she always does. So. Okay, so they start talking about this thing where Teresa got Melissa in trouble at her bachelor at party

because she was dancing with another guy and then Teresa tattled told and then she was like, Hey, where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? She was dancing with another guy and then Teresa Taddle told and then Joe was like Where is he? Where is he? There is the where is he where is So basically because of Teresa doing this Melissa they didn't talk for three weeks Melissa and Joe and Teresa is like so happy. She's like yeah, I did that So three weeks Melissa and Joe and Teresa is like so happy. She's like, yeah, I did that. So Margaret's like asking Mike, it starts to move back to the talk of Sige and Michael

Campanella and you know, like they're talking about like controlling men. Is it like cool or not? And Sige's like to me, that's a turn on. she's saying like listen anytime you're marry a man who's a man I didn't marry a wussy I didn't marry a pussy I married a man Michael Campanella the picture of masculinity I mean, I don't even know what that means. I looked up the word man in a dictionary, and I didn't see the picture of Michael Camp in that line. You know what I saw?

I saw a picture of a beautiful C-film polo shirt. Now that's what a man wears. A lot of going to dictionaries to see his own. A lot of research. A a man wears. A lot of going to dictionaries this season. A lot of research. A lot of research. So Siggie's like, on the other hand, I believe that God gave me a gift. I am the most talented human being on the planet. The most talented person in the world, I mean, has she ever heard of Michael Jackson or like like the guy who made up light bulbs or Mama Cecilia of pizzas. Trampoline's are crazy, like whoever thought, whoa, I wish I could just jump but then go higher.

There's some talented people in the world. Amazing. So, Sigie's like, but he wants to spend more time with me. But I need to give my gift to the world. Now we all know what I'm gonna choose between helping people end up lifting my man. And Marge is like,

why can't you just have both? I mean, listen, Joe would want for me to be home in bed all day doing nothing, but I said, you know what? Who else is gonna bring a fucking change purse with a whale on it to Marshalls? Get off your ass and do something with wallpaper in the living room. It's literally been four years. Yeah, and so then they're basically like, why are you like, whatever? Like, you have a passion.

Why would you like deny yourself? Why would you let him deny it? Whatever, and Sikki goes, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore! And then she takes her glass of wine, just spills it right on this table. Where is it? She's like, ah! Ah!

Like, bitch. So then this... I know, any waiter in the audience, I was like, how dare you? First she saw a plate of someone's food last night, now she's just pouring wine on the table. So then she bring they bring out this big cake, right? The cake. And this this is a cake of artistry, right? Because she's like, I had a pastry chef make that cake. Okay, I showed a beautiful picture of Melissa Goga in a boutique envy.

And I said, make a cake that looks like envy boutique, which was like the last thing at any pastry chef ever wants to hear. I know, the first rendition was just like an empty, tiny box. She's like, no, no, no, no. From before, from before, scroll down on her Instagram. Scroll down, scroll down. But I like this Ziggy pretends she knows Melissa so well now,

because she's like, it's so Melissa. We even got the wallpaper from the Instagram photo. On the cake, the wallpaper. Which she repeats 30 times in the coming fight. I can't believe a patriot ship was able to draw a flirt of leaf. That's just absolutely amazing. Let's make toast. Melissa, you're like the sister.

I'm not my hand. I think. Ha ha ha ha. You're like the sister I'm not my hair. I think Melissa's doing all that You said I was dancing with the guy the whole time in my back sweat party I ain't insane a whole time So Teresa takes some cake which was like this and she's like oh You bitch you bitch putting cake on my face. So then Melissa takes the top tier of this cake Which admittedly this was a nice cake as you take it and then she just

Throws it at Teresa or or puts it in Teresa's face whatever but she She bash it on Teresa and see he's there going like, oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, I'm going to be shadowed band by that baker. Welcome to our world.

The lady who just poured her wine all over the table is mortified by the sea view. Suddenly. So then Teresa grabs the whole cake. Can you see that? She throws it. I mean, you just see this whole cake like twirl in the air. It twirls and it actually lands right side up, which

is amazing. And the cake doesn't ever separate from its base. It's just this amazing. It's one of the most impressive things Teresa's ever done to be honest. Hurry, someone that's wrong with you! And Sigi goes, we're gonna have to explain to the restaurant we're from Jersey.

I'm like, I think that was already done. If they didn't know the second they saw you in your leather dress, they definitely did when you poured your wine on the table and screamed. Okay. So, Siggies like I never would have imagined a grown woman throwing a cake. I mean, this was a work of art. It wasn't just like a chocolate chip cookie, at which point the loris's mom was like,

cookie? No, no. Not just the chocolate chip cookie cake. It was like... No, no. It's not just the chocolate chip cookie cake. It was like, someone coming for chocolate chip cookie cake. No. Like out of everything Siggie's done, I think that bothered me the most.

So then she's like, really classy to me. So really classy. And Marge goes, you have a take it down a notch Like her angry fork and knife is back and Siggie goes go fuck yourself and then we see a thing on the screen that says, coming this season on the real housewives of New Jersey. Welcome back, scumbag. You're the ugliest person in the world for making fun of me.

You know what, boss stands for? You know, please listen to me. I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I'm going to be a little bit more honest. You're the ugliest person in the world for making fun of me. You know what power stands for? You're a peaceful, chic, cold, cold, cold, record every day. And that brings us to the end of the year of Housewives of New York. Thank you all.

Thank you to the Laura Sc, Katania, for calling in. Thank you, Pittsburgh. Thank you, Rock and Scissors. You're so much. Have a wonderful night. Thank you. Thank you. What's the future of love?

Everybody say my name. What's the future of all? I'm sane. Everywhere I go, people fall at every day. Every smile I'm in, I like that. Hey, bitch. go, people fall at every day I reach my hands, I'm in hell, I'm back Hey, back Hey, back

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