Watch What Crappens - RHONY: A Tale of Two Biddies

Episode Date: July 28, 2018

The Real Housewives of New York are still in Colombia, and we’re in Montreal for the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival! Best night ever. Thanks to everyone who came out and made us feel like rockstars. **Crappens Live is coming to West Palm Beach and Atlanta this summer! Get ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Tally Barlow, and she goes Barlow, we go high low. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the Berg. Jess Sayon, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Susie going to the toad, Tobin. Megan the Slayer Taylor. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Anna got, I love that banana Anderson.

Hava Nagila Weber. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, Big Grant Master, Give them hope, Miss Noel, The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters, and Lizzie Drucker, a Watch what happens, watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens?

What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? Watch what happens? Watch what happens? Watch what happens? What happens?

What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? I've been spent this all in practice I've been spent this all in practice I've been spent this all in practice Was I please Lord?

Please are people come to this thing? Oh my god I don't know what French people think of me I didn't know everybody was so French This is our first international show, so it's very, very exciting. Friends people are hot. After 30 minutes, we're gonna do the whole thing in French, so you know, keep the time.

Oh, got my carol tattoo sleeve for the show. You guys, welcome to Watch for Crappens, a podcast about all the crap we love on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me as usual is my great, great friend, my work husband, Ronnie Karen, what's going on? I don't get nervous for anything. I'm so nervous. It's so weird being in a hotel ballroom. Like, I've only been in these things for like multi-level marketing things.

Yeah. Because, you know, I answered every fucking craigslist ad for that shit. We're going to turn this into a career fair afterwards. Oh my god. This festival is amazing. First of all, we have to thank the, just for last festival, for even having us. There's like, and Sophia, yeah.

Sophia, over there. Oh my God. I feel like a bird with this mic being little look. I'm like, I like it. You should feed it. Perfect. Perfect. No, it's like crazy.

Like, there's like all these like famous people here. Like, last, like last time we were at, there's like all these like famous people here. Like, last, like last time we were at, there was like a whole bunch of people drinking, and like Dave Chappelle was walking around, and it's like, how are we, how are we part of this? It's weird. We're just picking up this cigarette butts around the thing, you know?

And then at one point, so John Mayer was also walking around, someone's like, look, John Mayer. So I turned around, and he was like with handlers, and he was like, the handlers were like guiding him out and as you walk by, I at this point had like four beers in me and I go, we have a podcast about Bravo! Like he was right here. I did that. I thought like I was gonna get through to him like that's what he does, you know. It did not work. I'm just learning so much about France. Like, I mean, I know we're not in France, but come on you guys. Yeah. That's how I learn about things like from accents and stuff. I've learned how stupid I am. Like, I always thought mercy of me does.

Thank you, right? I always thought it was I'm sorry. I don't know why. Because mercy, I think. Like half mercy on me. Yeah. Yeah. And so I thought this was my kind of town, because everyone's always like, messy, messy, which is me. Because I'm always like knocking shit off the table. Right, right, blowing a booger. You know, that's me.

So I was like, this is my town, everyone's saying, I'm sorry, and it's thank you. So I'm an idiot. And then last night, I discovered that you guys have named the 3 a.m. time when I come home and just throw shit in a bowl and eat it. And it's called Poutine. Yeah.

We have discovered Poutine. Thank you. It's my place. I found my place. We've done it all. We've had Montreal bagels. We had the smoked meat. We had Poutine.

We terrified John Mayer. Yeah. We're going to listen to some Celine Dion. It's great. Yeah. Um, but like, and also why we have to give give shout out to we have a lot of people here who have come to many or shows before I see my cousin over there My cousins here. Oh, yeah Just all sorts of people so thank you guys for for making a trek up here to Montreal someone else we have to think

The bitches of the real housewives of New York City. I know seriously Housewives of New York City. I know. Seriously. Seriously. Lee. You know, we always say doing these. Sometimes we've got to start doing some shit shows. You know, we went to DC and had to do the Holocaust.

Holocaust, Beverly Hills, and the other places. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, OK? And I just kept saying, Holocaust, just to watch Ben be like, whoa! Don't ruin our lives, please. I was like, I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish. And this one, we're all waiting for the bird.

We're all waiting for the big boat episode, where everybody almost dies. Is this not gonna be the most epic boat trip of all time? Oh, the best thing since the Titanic. So stupid Ramona goes on her Instagram. She's like, hey, hey. Is everybody excited to see the big boat episode tonight? If you're a house-wise New York City and the internet was like,

what? Yes, everything went crazy. Yeah. But you shot the boat episode, so thank you. But it's not like we got a shit episode. We actually, this might be our most challenging recap of all time because we had a four-way simultaneous fight in the middle of Columbia, which I don't know.

I think that's like a gift from the Just for Lafes Gods, if you ask me. So, previously, there was an old guy in a red scarf. Yeah. Red scarf. Red scarf. Let's hear it for the red scarf over here. I don't know.

Like, we already know each other. My friends just like, you keep texting me. Oh, another red scarf over here. Oh my God, two red scarfs. Are you guys gonna be okay? I'm gonna fight. No one has ever wanted to fuck that guy. It's like the entire house.

When did this happen? When did this guy become hot? Yeah. Only on this show would that guy be hot. Yeah. I know, it's terrible. So this episode picks up where we left off last week, which is that Bethany was just having

a ridiculous panic attack in the kitchen. There's a- Oh yeah, no, that's too much. It's too no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noany gets hurt. This like baby Bethany voice. Like, I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him. And the man still be like, are we going shopping or what? I've been to prison.

And Bethany is losing it. So she loses it by opening the freezer door and like hugging bags of ice. Yeah. To get her heart back bags of ice. Yeah. They get her heart back down to normal. Yeah. Meanwhile, Luanz outside, they're like,

well, there's hysterical crying in the kitchen. So I guess we're not going shopping. I mean, all I did was go for rehab for three months. I can't go damn shopping. Mm-hmm. I'm in the poor cooking lady. The chef is in there. Who makes like a dollar a day?

And she's listening to the bathroom. He's like, oh my god, it's so much. I've got so many businesses. So much money coming in at all times. Oh, lady. The chef is in there. Who makes like a dollar a day. And she's listening to Bethany. He's like, oh my god, it's so much. I've got so many businesses. So much money coming in at all times. Oh, blah, blah, blah. And then Dorenda is the helpful friend. Yeah. Dorenda is going through drawers.

But not even kidding. Did you notice that that was doing? I did not notice Dorenda was scaring. And he's like, you be all right. She's like opening the cabinet doors. Good wine, Liam's keep. Yeah. So yes, Bethany is now just like resting her head

on these ice bags, like just like preserving herself or whatever. There's not one minute of the day. It's not scheduled. Everything's so scheduled. Ah! Like, who does your schedule? Yeah, like, what's the matter?

What's going on? Clips and Tastes. So it was an event yesterday with a guy who is like publicly masturbating to his eye Cal you know when people do that because it was like a group van here and he's like Oh god so many things like you're so busy Keep it in your pants, sir So so while Bethany is like on ice with Durinda the rest of the women are like, we're just gonna go shopping, like this is ridiculous.

They're walking around, and of course they're talking about Bethany, and we're going to say, whoa, Bethany, she's acting so erratic. What an erratic woman. I'm like, your Ramona, like everything you say is erratic. Did anyone see the video of Ramona dancing in the Hamptons? That was to me like the greatest thing ever. It was basically like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Mario, do you love me? Are you riding?

So you'll never ever ever leave from beside me. me. Mario, Mario, love me, Mario. I haven't Ramona even say erratic. You know Ramona camp for now, it's more, she still says reggae, like that's a kind of music. Suddenly, Ramona's not in the fight, so suddenly she knows words. It's a miracle. So then, to Rinda is telling us, in the past, but he's only got some of the concern.

But there's been a lot of situations back in when she got bento. I think that's the people. So you get what you give. I'm like, you better remember that, because I already know it's about to happen with you. Remember that in about 45 minutes. Yeah.

Yeah. So Bethany, but Bethany is still going crazy. I don't want my life to end in about 45 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. So Bethany still like going crazy. I got to want my life done wherever I get on. So, and so, you know, again, they're all talking, and so I knew this was like, you know, we shouldn't be rude because she's our friend, and Carol's like, well, you know, she's been rude to me, and I am her friend.

She won't even look me in the eye Like is your only talking about marathons no one wants to look at people who do marathons. Hey nobody can look you and I You look like you have dead eye dot you know when dogs not dead eye, but you know when dogs like start getting What do you call this? cataracts and They're looking at you cuz dogs like I guess they can smell where your eyes are so they're like looking right at you But you know that they can't see you. That's how I feel like it is looking into Carol's eyes So I'm just like, you know, that's when you pet her on the arm, you know, take your tits out dry hump her leg That's what you do to a friend and need you write her face like it's a magic carpet. It's like okay, it's no

Yeah, calm down over there So yeah, Romana a radic and Carol's like this is negative toxic energy Like really cuz they're the only one talking about this Carol. Yeah, what over there? Rats about by the way, how does everyone feel about Carol leaving the real house in New York? Oh, not a lot of support. Everyone's like, bye. Oh, we did know that she had five summers. That was the first thing she's about. When she started dating that young guy, she's like, Why only have five summers left?

You know, I was hoping that we'd see the last summer. Like, I like that when you get roses, you know, and you hang them, and then they get really dry, and then eventually turn into turn into dust and like they just scatter all over your apartment. Yeah. I want that carol moment. I need that. I feel like I've been driving that moment five times already. Remember last episode or two episodes you're just sitting on our couch and like I'm in here. Just disintegrating onto the couch. The cats are eating little bits of her face is off, little baby. It's like worms crawling out of her. So anyway, Ramona has a very serious creepy turn.

Oh, that's the real housewives. So Ramona is having a very serious dilemma. She has found a gigantic hat and she's like, whoa, did this cover me to down here? I need to make sure my hat covers all the way to my chest. Hey, hey, is this hat big enough? I need to be big enough because every my best friend slash daughter, she loves that hat. And I'm always like, I like a small hat and then a a large hat with two loins, and then a medium hat. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that's what I need.

And Sonia is, you know, Sonia's a mast, too, but at least she's a good friend. She's like, no, that is not your look Ramona. No, Ramona. No. It's like a 10 gallon hat. What about this? Then she actually goes, she goes, What?

If I look doofus? I look doofus. I was like, there's the Ramona, I know. So then Carol of course finds a handbag shaped like a cat. And she's like, But does this make me crazy cat lady? Like, girl, no, it didn't make you crazy cat lady. It was crazy cat lady three years ago, okay. I think it was the six cats all named baby

in your apartment that makes you the crazy cat lady. Climbing up the draperies. So then Bethany comes in and has decided to like make an effort, you know. So she comes in and she's like, oh my God, I need a hat. Oh my God, like a bad hat. How much is this? $250 per two.

Like I don't even know what I'm on this. What's on this? I don't know what money is. I don't even know how I'm on this. I don't even know how how much is this 250 dollars per My favorite I loved so at one point to rorenda started talking to Carol and was like, you know, you really need to start talking to Bethany. It was like trying on little bits. She's like, this is fucking. I guess Carol's like, well, you know, I can't engage with someone who's always crying, et cetera.

And they're just like talking about situation. And like from across the story, you just see Bethany. And she's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like She's like hiding in the hat rack, like ET. She's like, what are you saying? When Carol's like, well, I even wear this. Like you were you would, yes, you probably would. It's like that's a necktie, Carol. And they're in the ghost. No, and I don't need labsters around my leg either. I mean, that's true.

Who needs the lobster around their neck? I love this down. They're just like stringing lobsters together for Durinbos. So Bethany, then she just like buys everything in the store and has this like just like a giant mound of like things she's bought and I've never seen someone look so unhappy with buying so many things. She's like, well, look, I bought everything. I was like, the retail therapy does not work that way. I want to have fun. I don't want to be down. But yeah, that's great.

They're not telling me. They're just not telling me. So then the shit starts to, then the brewing starts. Because so, and you go up to Bethany's, like, just so you know, Ramona said that Bethany's only friends with people went to want something in return. And then we get a flashback of Ramona being like, Bethany, give her, well as much as you can, she doesn't give back.

Like Ramona, geez you know. But it's true. All that Ramona is given Bethany. Yeah. I gave her a tour across the Brooklyn Bridge one time. Give me nothing to return. Some monster. I love these monsters.

Cousernia is just loving this, you know? Because now she has someone to fight with Ramona. Yeah. She's the only person who will speak to Bethany still, you know? So she's like, guess what Iona is trying to crack the case here. She's trying to figure out what's going on between Bethany and Carol. She's like, you know, it's almost as if Bethany's trying

to antagonize the situation. I'm like, you think it's Bethany. She's going around yelling at every single person on this trip. Leixentilino. Leixentilino. Leixentilino. People know different things.

Well, I'm saying it. People know stuff. It's like, OK, well, good talk to her, Inda. Thanks. Glad they had a camera on you for that one. So then it cuts back to Sonia and she's like, oh, and then Carol, you know, she just says all you do is take, take, take, take, take, take, take.

Sonia is living in some rat infested, broke ass down house that she probably borrowed from somebody at some point, just never returned it. With brown eyes, with brown eyes, let's not forget. So then Bethany launches into her accusations. Tuntun, tuntun. It's like maybe in a takeer. Oh, yeah.

Maybe I'm a takeer of people on trips. I'm like, what? Maybe, maybe that's what I do. Maybe I just like love to take care of the prod. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, what about that? Remember that time I took care of the Florida? What? That's right. Maybe I've taken people to meet Mickey Mouse.

Yeah. Yeah. What about that? Yeah. How do you like that fast-pass, Carol, huh? How about that? I guess I just take and take and take. So much like, get back to you.

Fast-pass, huh? But then she is like, it goes from like, Prague, Paris, the Bahamas, like all these great things. She's like, and then Paris, the Bahamas, all these great things. She's like, and then I took Adam and Carol to the Hamptons. That's like, all right, come say it, my couch. Come on, it's gonna be great. But I know, I actually, that drives me nuts, because I actually know what Carol is saying.

I hate when someone just demands all this mental energy from you, an emotional energy, and they think, oh, I'm gonna buy you dinner, and that makes it equal. Like that actually drives me nuts. So I actually think like Bethany is not getting in this situation. Thank you for that applause. I, that was really good.

One person was like, I get it. You know, we don't have to agree on everything. I'm very, very easily bought. Yeah. I'm saying. Oh, I mean, I want to ask you. I'm going to forget the shit you did the next day anyway. So just buy me shit.

Yeah. thank you. So then Bethany is freaking out because Sonia is giving her all this information. And then Sonia ends all of this. She goes, I'm just rooting for you guys. That's all I'm telling you. I'm rooting for you. She wants to be friends. She's just like, I'm like, I got to call Dennis.

I got to call Dennis. Okay, this, look, I know I'm a gay person. I don't have a lot of experience with like penises and vaginas. Right. That does not mean I do not have a lot of experience with women. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. This is what every man is terrified of, this phone call, from Y'all. OK. And I got you, I'm a man, I was talking to me, and then me, the hood, my feeling, and then me, my name, my name, my name, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, give me a plane. And then she comes, and my feeling in the mean, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me,

and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me,

and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me,

and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me, and me when she freaked out and demanded a plane as well. Which I love. That's why I love this show. She got a helicopter. You see, that's the thing Ramona actually gets what she wants. No, she got a private plane.

She got a private plane. When she was with Heather? Yeah, I think it was a private. They somehow got a plane. It was a helicopter. It was a helicopter. Oh, thank you, fact checkers. Thank you.

It's just so hard to keep track of everything that happens on this show. And we'll forgive you when you buy me dinner Benjamin. I can't take it. I got to go home. I need a helicopter on my own. It's like too ha. I can't take it. I gotta go home. I need a helicopter on Montreal. I'm like too much.

I can't take that. My dad was all made to me here. I need a helicopter to take me home. She got it. Dennis on the other hand was like, no, bitch. I'm sending you a private plane. She's the kind of painter you crazy. So she comes back and she's like, I decided to make it work.

Although it's a commer down. Someone gives her a coconut. And the wind comes up and she's like, Oh! What are you drinking a street coconut? Are you nuts? A street coconut. I mean, would you believe it girls? She's drinking a coconut off the street.

It's horrifying. What's it gonna do? Give me diarrhea. That's my drink. I want diarrhea. That's drinking a coconut off the street. It's horrifying. What's it going to do? Give me diarrhea. Like, that's my drink. I want diarrhea. I'm going to do it. That's what she said. It's like, I want it.

Give me three. Everyone knows you don't eat the meats or the stretches or the coconuts. Huh. That's just asking for it. It's going in my new show called Don't Drink the Coconut. Don't drink the coconuts Don't Drink the Coconut. She's starting to turn.

Street meat by the countess. So let's see. Bethany's freaking out. I'm like, ma-ha-ha-ha-ha. She's pacing back and forth, like terrorizing everyone in Cartagena. They're like, who is this lady? Like, oh, man.

You just sear the back. We don't even hear her. You just sear the background crying on the phone. I'm like who is this lady? Like, oh man, you just seared it. We don't even hear her. You just seared the background crying in the phone. I'm like, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. Just like, she's like on top of the Fitbit ranking. I'm like, you are number one, man. Number one.

So all the other ladies are trying to have lunch. And you know, we all had children. You know what it's like when that baby just doesn't shut the fuck up. You can't punch it. No, you can't drug it, you can't tie it up. You know, the laws have changed since I was a kid. So everyone's just like waiting for a dipastor,

and it's like, hey, you're just waiting for an egg in it. You're just like, hey, you're just waiting for an egg. So Rinda, you were in the kitchen with her while she was sobbing. I told you she wasn't paying attention. She's like pulling out the house keys to Cartagena. I tell you, though. So Beth comes to the table with a typical Beth Nymala.

She's like, you know what I'm saying? I'm crying now. I'm like, I'm a crazy person. I break down last night. I don't know what's going on. I'm like, no, I'm just like, you know what's going on. You know, I'm like, no, I'm just like, you know what's going on.

You know what's going on? You know what I'm like? I don't know what to do. I'm like, hey, what is this? I don't know what to do. I'm like, hey, what is this? I don't know what to do. I'm like, hey, what is this? I don't know what to do. I'm like, hey, what is it? I don't get it. Like, oh my just have this. Oh, long as it's not street lobster. My right girls, am I right? Street lobster, I mean.

I'm advancing. I really don't want me to have this stuff because I think that you don't want to poison me. And they're all like. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. It's like the best step.

Ha. Ha. You can really crapy version of Clue. Like just everyone has done it. Yeah. Flames like on the set of my face. Like I can't. You know, so.

So everyone literally did try to kill her last week. The Ramona did. The Ramona did try to kill her with fish stock. Yeah, it's just like, ooh, I forgot that when I served Bethany, a giant plate of fish and fish stock, that she's allergic to fish. Oops. That's real. That actually happened everyone. It's like some matlock shit right there. Like at the end, the monologue, exceptologue except hilarious okay quiet clown music is they eat okay so they're playing like their coconut clown music while Beth

he's like the most awkward play a moment on TV ever they're like well this is wonderful so so then the group splits up and like how like like tinsley, tinsley, tinsley, and Carol. Yeah! Oh my god. Did this- I love this restaurant. I just wish this player came with the eggs on top of my eggs. Oh my god. Yeah!

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So the girls, the girls you don't like toxic energy go home with Geralt And then Bethany is just like at rock bottom basically Yeah, and she's she's had her addiction to you remember because she said this she's like oh my god I'm in shopping because that's what addicts do like I got so many hats because I'm like an addict like shopping I was like give a hat the mean jacket you have a hat injector I'm an addict. I'm an addict. I was like this hat thing is the one for me. Everyone's like great story Bethany. So she's like at rock bottom. She's like trying to inject straw hats. So she's with the original girls like the OGs and she's like oh my god. It's just us. It's like the OGs. And they're like, oh yeah, yeah. Well, it was like her way of building an alliance.

That was her alliance building right there. She's like, I'm about to get into it with Carol tonight. So I need to make sure everyone hears on my thought, we're the OG, even your Ramona, who I love. I love your Ramona. Look at us, just OGs. You know? But I tried to root each and every one of your lives

individually. Wasn't that fun? Harkening back to the day. And then Sony was like, yes, I loved this. But I tried to root each and every one of your lives individually. What's not fun? Ah! How are you coming back to the day? And then Sonya's like, yes, I love this. I love old schools. My Cabrolasque is very popular in old schools. I can stand to pay in Nigeria, like very popular.

And then Bethany starts going in on Tinsley. She's like, yeah, look at this. Pretty good cheese. It doesn't take us three goddamn hours to get ready. What's that Tinsley? You know, she starts going on. It's like, it's hair and makeup, all fucking day. And then Ramona goes, oh, wait till she has a baby.

Yeah. Which we know she'll never have. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think it's a little Ramona job now that I think about it. Because we got a flashback of Ramona being t. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think it's a little remonement. Because we got a flashback every moment being. Tinsley, tinsley. Why does it take you so long to get ready in the morning?

You don't have to get glammed up. It's crazy. It's one time and it's a little girl. I was like, I want to make a buck. A jolting possesmith was like, don't you look like a little prostitute into this day I've never had an escort. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

But this day, class, say, OK. My baby, I couldn't beat a poop, a poop, a pee. Couldn't even go to the bathroom. Poop, a pee. It's like, OK, Ramona, I don't know where you're going with this. So they go back to the house, and Sunni is like, please, can we just get to the room with that drama? You started all this, and I love it. So Bethany's now up in her room with all her purchases.

She's like, this fucking stupid. Stupid. Fuck hats. Fuck these hats. Fuck hats. I hate hats. Fuck these hats. So, Sony does what anyone would do in that situation.

She jumps on the hats and starts humping them. Okay. She's literally fucking the hats and starts humping them. Okay, she's literally fucking hats. Yeah. And Bethany, like 10 times during this episode, you know what, everybody has a bad day. Everybody cracks sometimes. Yeah, I just cracked it was a bad day. I'm gonna turn this frown upside down.

Well, that's what happens for a street coconut. Bad days. You can't turn the frown upside down, because it's just a line. It's never a street coconut. Bad days. You can't turn the frown upside down, because it's just a line. It's never a frown or a smile. It's just always like, one even line up. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.

It's true. So now it's nighttime, and everyone's getting dressed for what will surely be a totally pleasant dinner. Um. So a barrel comes comes by Sony's room. Sony is just like smoking a cigarette. The app was great, you know. So Carol's like, knock, knock! There's like a cold breeze that comes through.

It's like, who the lights flicker? You hear some chains rattling? You know, so he's like, oh, my twister's here. Yes, sir. So, and of course, Sony is oblivious. She's like, do these pants make my vagina look weird? I mean, it's so crazy. Usually, he's a pantyliner for here, but I don't have one.

I don't know. Baseball glove, what do you think? Hat. I'm not really sure what I should put here. Place map, there's place man downstairs. Place math, just place math downstairs. And Carol's just like, oh, I have some granny panties if you want. Surprise and pull out like a 1920s bathing cap or something.

So then she's like, by the way, I got you some earrings. Here you go. They are that, yeah. Yeah. Now that you have them, let's talk about Bethany. Yeah. Could you close the door?

Like Sony's, I'm fucking getting it in a horror movie. He's like, nothing's gonna happen. I just go down to the basement. I'm sure there's like a hot French guy down there making all that noise, right, girls? I mean, he's gonna want me. I'm only in my panties. He may be a boogie man, but he's still a man, okay? Hey, Freddie.

I like the boogie. Ooh, I like getting dirty in the bedroom. You get me with this cloth, Freddy Krueger. So Sonia is not as stupid as she looks, I guess. I'm sorry, it's so weird being like, I'm coming down. It's OK. Actually, look what I'm working out. I'm working out.

You did it. You did it. Oh my god. I'm working out. I'm working out. You did it. You did it. Oh my god. I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back.

Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back.

Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh, I'm back. Oh,, it's just escape. She's like, okay, I'll hear what you have to say. So this is where Carol tries to understand. Even though it's been explained very clear to her, your mean to me, and it hurts my feelings,

exactly. Just for those of you who are not caught up. So she's just gonna try and understand from Sydney. She goes, I'm sure you've noticed the hostility directive towards me. So anything? I got new earrings. Go like this, like a jangle. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,

just like the karate kid too thing. Do you have any insight? I've been going over and over it in my head. And Sonya's like, She feels she want nothing to do with her and you're not really into her anymore. Yeah, and she goes, But I can't think of any words, her actions, or anything I've done that would let me know what Bethany's feeling.

She's like, you have no interest in her. Yeah. I just don't understand what is going on. And then Sonny goes, look, you had a great thing for a while, and now it's over. It's like, and Carol's like, it's just that there was a lot of Bethany, and there wasn't a lot of Carol Carol and I'm busier now

I'm like with what rotting on a couch. What are you doing Carol? You're not even doing your like 200-word Cosmo column I got my couch covered last year Come on And then Sonia has like the best endorsement a friend could ever ask where she's like, you know Everyone knows Bethany can be a nightmare, but so watch, she's your friend Sometimes your friend calls you a stupid slut And a cheater brand And a whore at an awful awful person they never wants to be to again, but that's just friendship

Merry Christmas I just helped you have some insights and they never want to be to again, but that's just friendship. That's a very Christmas. I just helped you have some insight. And Sonia's like, well, you guys need marriage counseling. Trust me, it worked. Okay, bye now, thanks for coming to my room. So the group is getting ready to go out and then we get a classic Luan entrance. She's like, wow, look at us. What a group of ladies, ladies. Put the lime in the tree coconut, am I right?

Am I right? So they arrive at this place. By the way, how crazy was that? Who's so? I mean, Ashley, right? So anyway, so they arrive and I guess we should know that this dinner is going to go with the wrong way because it starts borrowing stuff from it. You know, there's like a balloon. Like, hey, look at you, balloon.

Oh my god, it's a balloon. I want to have a brain. Let's get to balloon. A brain, yeah, I want to have a brain. It's just like, look, there's the balloon. Richie. Hey, it's going down the gutter. It's going down the gutter. It's going down the gutter.

All right, you go down there. It actually makes actually a lot of sense to win the win in the gutter and came back to this dinner. Like, she was Pennywise. Yeah, Tim Curry is now playing Durinda for the rest of this episode. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I know the old eight.

You. Yeah. But there was this giant sparkling ridiculous blue. You know, when you go to a tourist trap, there's always these spinning, shining things, and things are around like this. And everyone's like, you never walk by them. But they were like, oh my god, I've never seen something like this.

How did you make it look like? It's floating.! How did you get those like, you know blue? It's floating! It's, Richard, Richard? Oh! It's not red. I won't show. So... But the best part is actually that Durinda saw the balloon first

was like, they're good to be ballooned. And I was like, I want it, I want it, I was like, have you learned nothing from Nutcracker Gate? Let Durinda have the balloon. Yeah, and give her credit. And also Durinda maybe poking a Bethany because she goes, oh, I love that balloon. Where did you get that?

To the store person. You Durinda, we heard about it from you, okay? That's what we're the only podcast that will spend five minutes discussing it with Durinda, by the way. But it had to be discussed, because who does that? Like, what are you taking that on the plane? You can't even take a bottle of water on the fucking plane.

They're not going to let you take that on the plane. You have to buy a seat for that balloon, OK? So then they get the table and this like crack. You know, everything Luanne does cracks me up. I mean, I'm like a huge, huge Luanne stan. And so Luanne gets into a cis-tener chair, and she just goes like this. Ah!

Oh, my God. It's like you're taking a shit. What's going on in there? sister in her chair and she just goes like this. Oh. It's like you're taking a shit. What's going on in there? I got so much shit. I got like 20 hats, 19,000 balloons. Like I bought a bus. Just a bus outside. Addict, addict, shopping, I still so sad. Still so sad.

Still so sad. Everyone's like, so Bethany shows up. Now she's got the balloon. She's bought the balloon. She shows up. She's like, hey, I got a balloon. I've never seen someone so miserable. She's like, oh, so Bethany shows up. Now she's got the balloon. She's bought the balloon. She shows up. She's like, yeah, I got a balloon. I've never seen someone so miserable.

She's like, hmm. Joy, balloon. I'm like, enjoy that balloon. If you're gonna get the stupid balloon, this crack a smile. So Sony decides to cheer Beth in the app. She's like, you'll never believe what news I have. Like, like, like, like, like, like. Carol came to my room and she was talking about you and it was pretty bad.

Okay, let's order. Carol, meanwhile, is like wearing Vegas showgirl feathers from her ears. She is wearing pinatas. I don't know what is going on in this episode. Did Carol buy everybody earrings that we just didn't see that part? It was like little cat, living cat, hanging off their ears. Well, there's one person who did not get earrings,

and that was Beth and A, and she's like, oh, oh, so you're getting earrings from getting you, so I'm carrying that? Okay, that's what it can mean, okay, okay, right, you know, I got a cheetah brand, cheetah earrings, that's what I call cheetah earrings, go. And Carol's like, I got a smoke, this is why I like to smoke,

because you can go away from people. Which, amen, hello, that's why I smoke, I mean, it's like the best got a smoke. This is why I like to smoke, because you can go away from people. Which amen, hello, that's why I smoke. I mean, it's like the best reason to smoke. But before that happens, they all start ordering drinks. And Luan's like, ah, can I get one of your special mocktails? You know, it's like a cocktail, but it's a mocktail. It's like a joke. It's like, what did you do with my capriac jokes? But mocktails, you got one of those.

Mocktails. Mocktails. Mock one of those mocktails. mocktail, tail, mock. So, yeah, like a mock street coconut one of those. So then, so he's like, oh yeah, that sounds good. I'll get a mocktail tube, but keep a little tequila in it. I bet these are the corners. I don't get, I don't get, I don't get, I don't get, I can't really, I can't really, I the corner. I don't care.

I don't care. I literally can't. I don't care. Like, you know what? Like, my tail's like, what is it? What is it with tails? It's true. Oh. So, Dorenda, now her drunk voice is already starting to merge.

She's already starting to sing. Dorenda is already singing. She's like, the food starts coming as family style again. And Dorenda's like, when is she going to be able to forget something, like, like, like, eating anything? Seryly Dorenda down there, like, playing with the straw, you know, the straw wrapping. It's really de-renda down there, like playing with the straw, you know, the straw wrapping, it's like. And Bethany is fixating on Carol's smoking.

She's like, huh, so since when does Carol's smoke? Okay, like since when does Carol's, when did she talk to Sonia? She's like, why did she buy earrings? Like, what's going on with that? Everyone's like, well, vacation, bonds people, okay? That's the way vacations work. That's how I met Mario. And I told Mario, I'm going to Cartagena, okay? That's the way vacations work. That's how I met Mario and I told Mario. I'm going to Cartagena, okay? So let's re-bond down in Columbia. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is for our daughter slash best friend

What is that your glass half full? What the fuck are you doing right now? What is that even? Fucking Ramona being positive. Yeah. She feels like you're ignoring her. Why? Why does she feel like that? Because she'll say something and then you do this. Wait, it's like standard ignoring her.

She'll shut up Ramona. Get out of here. So Carol goes over to smoke and you just, they blurred her into out because Duranda so offensively fucked up already. And like, it's still light outside, you know what I mean? They literally blur her out like she's a dick on TV. Like she's just, just see her in the sparkle dress like. Yeah.

That drunk fingers pointing back there. Uh. And Carol's like, yeah, but I wanna talk about toxicity and it's a fact on the poverty communities. She's like, she's coming. She's like, yeah, yeah. She's like, certainly she like stomps back to the table. And then Bethany, she just like leans into her classic materials. She's just like, you know what? There's a wall up. The wall's up. Wall is up. I was like, oh my god, she listens to the podcast. This is crazy. The wall's up. So Carol returns the table and she's like, I want to which was the elephant in the room, which is like a classic bravo line now.

We need an official fucking elephant to learn one of these cast. Everyone just ignores this poor elephant. Whoa, that's not a nice thing to say about tinsley. So the rest of this section I entitled a Tale of Two Bitties. Yeah, because it's so long and winding, okay. It's released episodically, yeah, just like Dickens did. You don't know what the fuck is going on half the time. And it just keeps cutting back. This is going to be, we have to like, to do like that literature. I read!

You did it. It was great. This is like, for us, this is like going to the moon. It's like our first trip to the moon. We don't know about this technology, but we're going to maybe do it and try to make this work. We know it's made of cheese. Two enormous fights happening at once, cross-cutting for like a half an hour.

All right, here we go. Yeah, that was your warning. Buckleman. Buckleman or lead now? It's going to get crazy. Make your decision, OK? It's your opportunity. OK, so she's like, let's address the elephant.

It's ruining everyone's trip. So then Ramona is like, I'm not in this fight. So she gets up and I want to talk to you about how things are happening with this I feel a certain distance between you and there's a little bit of hostility And I feel just like it's my summer, and I want it to be nice. I just feel like I want to give you earrings, but I can't. Not yet.

Not yet. Not yet. I can't. I can't. Oh, I got it. Two seconds of not having attention. Calm down. She was the digging behind Carol's back during this thing.

So Bethany is trying to relate to Carol in the way, the only way that anybody can relate to Carol with like really bad literary attempts. Okay. She's like, what we have? It's like a Rose and Carol. You know how about ocean? I'm like literally exhausted from what I just did.

It's okay. Like I'm dying out. Well you worked out before. That was a lot. Yeah. Okay. She's like, you know what's like a rogian, you know? Huh?

You know how like what a like what a gums and like it comes in and hits dirt. It hits the wall. And it hits the wall. Okay. It's like, okay, just like media. And then like, it's a little more dirt. And then the water comes in again. And the wall's like, I can take and I'm a wall. It's like a wall. Like what do I get to? Like my wall's up. It's like a okay, just take me there. And then like, it's a little more there. And then like another, and then the water comes in again. And the water's like, I can take, and I'm a wall.

It's like a wall. Like what do I get to? Like my wall's up. I'm a wall. It's like swimming pool's in the wall. Like what's the deal with that? Like it's supposed to be a wall. Like a roading, like a roading.

Like what's that? And there's a little bit. It's like a wall. You know what I mean? It's called the water. Like the walls in the water. Next time, no walls. No, it's not this wall show.

Just drown me. Just drown me. Like kill me down the water. And cure us like. The veracity of that statement really touched me in my core of zone. Yeah. But okay, so, but for real though, like help me down the water. And Kero's like, the veracity of that statement really touched me in my core zone. Yeah. But OK, so but for real though, like so Bethany is basically like, she's like, you know what, I think like when things

went wrong was over the summer when we had that stupid little bullshit and people started gossiping. And Kero goes, no! No! I know. That's how we're going to do. That's what now we're going to, it's like improv class. Don't say no.

If you're not saying no, you're not going to say no. You're not saying that you're not gonna say now right now But that is kind of it actually really did bother me because it's so much just saying here's where it went wrong with me I'm so sorry being like Ramona right now, but yeah It's not mean talking so I'm gonna just making it But like yeah, like that's annoying like if you're saying things went wrong It's cute, right? You look like a short order cook right now. You're about to be in my family.

You're about to be in my family. You're about to be in my family. You're just saying that. Just saying that. That's my answer in this. Your feelings are stupid. So then, so then, Beth and she starts doing the classic thing. She starts to deflect. She's like, you know what, we're not going to do. We're not going to do this in public. This feelings are stupid. So then Beth is doing the classic thing she starts to deflect. She's like, you know what we're not going to do?

We're not going to do this in public. There's not going to be a public event. Everyone's staring at me. Look at Tinsley. Look at she can't even stop looking with those stupid pinnion of earrings. Look at these top tins. She's like, oh my god. Oh, I did was looking your direction.

I looked at you for one second. I was going, I'm sorry, you don't like those. Oh, wait, Scott bought me a waiter. Look, this is so sweet. So then, like at this point, you know, I'm Jewish, my fellow Jews. Oh, congratulations. I was like, Dianu, Dianu. If this is all we get, Dianu, that would be enough.

But then it's like meanwhile, on the other side of the three feet away, then it's like, so how those margaritas durin' down? Yeah. Durin' does like, delicious water. Ooh. Ooh, I love my mocktail. It tastes just like tomato juice and grapefruit juice.

Just wonderful, just wonderful. Isn't it nice not to need anything? So all the way and goes, and she says to her into, so how the margaritas, and then it goes, ha! And then Luma goes, apple jacked on Cheerio's bitch. And Luma goes, would you believe it girls, she's starting,

she's starting, and then, and then, what are you telling? Now, you know what's trouble when Durinda starts, like, she starts looking like she's looking under some coverage in the kitchen. You're starting. What? Say it again.

Say it. Hey. Say it again. Hey, good one. Say it again. Don't say that. She's like working at like jiffy loob. She's just checking your andons. She's like, what?

You guys are not again. I'm not again. You guys are not again. You stay it again. Don't say that. Don't say that. Say it again. Don't say it.

Okay. So the way I was like this. Just me. And then like, that's entire. Like, what? What? You just get really aggressive. No, I'm saying this in a very non-aggressive way.

I know you're aggressive right now. You're back in bitch. You want your apology? And we'll move on. Apologize, say it, regret it, srapologize. I was quick and shithole that balloon all night. I'm not about to take it from you, bitch. And you could stop that stupid dude's stashing your eyes. He says you were you're doing you like the light and the light and the light and the nothing.

So, and Louis, I was trying to stand her ground and look, it is very difficult understanding what to do at dinner when you're not drunk. I wouldn't be able to do it. I mean, that's what you do at dinner. It's an American tradition who goes to dinner and doesn't drink. So, she's already confused, but she's like, I have nothing to apologize for. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not able to do it. I mean, that's what you do at dinner. It's an American tradition who goes to dinner and doesn't drink. So she's already confused, but she's like,

I have nothing to apologize for. It's like maintaining her dignity. I wasn't the one drinking street coconuts. Huh? So during this like, oh, so you're gonna start with some uppity thing now. That's not your uppity thing. I was like, what uppity thing?

You're ridiculous. Oh, man. What about how you should be a catalyst What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? You're not fit in the brain, can't play, can't play. Good luck with the right size service, non-conist yet, okay? Yeah. And the man's like, oh, so this is really what you feel about.

Oh. It's like when someone reads your resume back to you, and you're like, how dare you? I mean, that. Oh, I see. How dare you call me an aquafina? It says it on the bottle. Well, I mean, Lu Ann loves any opportunity to get in

dig net. You know what I mean? Do you remember the Vermont episode? Like, would you believe it? They're making me sleep downstairs? I mean, I just got married. You were thinking, put me upstairs, put me downstairs. It's just so rude. I don't feel anything about you. Because you know why you drink some water. And then you can get arrested again? Yeah

Hey wait Hey Then Dorenda does what we pretty much have been waiting for this entire time. She just throws a glash. Aermone goes to the back. Oh, boy, what? This glass on the floor. Vacation really does bond us. And then Dorenda, as if she's not the one who just crashed the glass on the ground, immediately goes, what do you have some more?

You're awful. And the man's like, well, Llan is like, she's now found her like campaign line. She's like, well now I know what you really think of me. She's just saying it over and over again. Now I know, now I know, three, two, one. Now I know what you really think of me. She's like her own, one, three, two, one. Now, why, no. What you really think of me? She's like her own. What are the sisters he's saying together?

Yeah, the Andrew sisters, thank you. Hey, we're on the train. I'm on the train. Knowing what you really think of me, everyone. Come see my show. So she's like to point at me Yeah, and She's like okay, okay, oh

She's like My mom does this you know, I give my mom a lot of shit. Thankfully. She's not very supportive of this show Well, I'm just kidding she doesn't listen to but I give my mom a lot of shit, but this is my favorite drunk Ronda move I'm just kidding. She doesn't listen to that. But I give my mom a lot of shit, but this is my favorite drunk ronda move. You know what you need? You know what you need? And then she starts lecturing strangers

on the street about what they need to do. I'm so during the right now, she's like, oh, bye, I'm a little bit. And after Lou Ann says, like, the 20th time, now I know what you really think. Dernico's, yeah, well, now I know what you really think. Luan literally just said, like, how's your mark on readout? Trying to turn.

Like, that's it. He's like, hey, you're starting. He has shot with me. He's gonna start with me. And then the camera just was like, you know what, enough with this. Let's go back to back. Oh, yeah, you see him off of the kids. You know what you're like, you're trying to be cool. You you know what you're like trying to be cool trying to be cool camera

You're trying to be cool like what's going on with that cat? Well, what's going on? Aramona's just sitting there like I don't even know what's watching me boy This is just like the best thing ever all the people that I hate is all fighting jump is wonderful Which marry a wiki all of e3 what's going what I mean your toxic your miserable like you mean to me your toxic Leave me out you're not that enemy and then I'm like sitting there crying at the dinner table and then you just walk away and girls like crying. I didn't know you were crying. I was mad that you didn't say bye to me

when I left the moment you sat down. I mean while back to the living, don't be aggressive, don't be e-aggressive. During the still just doing that. You're self-righteous, self-righteous. You're a cowlish, you're not a cowlish. You got a felony. You drank a lot one time.

You got short hair. Someone loaned your dresses to win your cabaret. You're a singer. It's like she's just giving her facts. You know? I'm telling you, I haven't changed it all. I'm the same person. Apologize, you and apologize.

I'm like, what do I have to watch right now? I don't even know what's going on. So then Carol starts doing this thing where she doesn't really know how to have feelings and stuff, which I'm fine with. Like, I don't need you to have feelings. But when she needs her potential, just start repeating back to what you're saying.

So Beth and he's like, yeah, you're just not into me. And she's like, well, maybe you're just not into me anymore. I don't even think you like me, Carol. You know what? I don't think you like me anymore, Beth and me. So furious. Yeah. Luann, meanwhile, is accusing D'Ariinda

of looking at her aggressively, which I love. Like, you looked at me aggressively. Like, how's that like, ah, like? No, it's what Dorenda did. Ah. So it's like one of those things you put on your dash, you know, just bobbling around. So now, like, Luan is like literally sitting there.

And now Dorenda is like, stop it, stop it, stop it. Luan's just like sitting there. Like, I'm literally not doing it, stop it, stop it. Louanne's just like sitting there like, I'm literally not doing anything. Stop it, stop it. Yeah, and she's like, you're the lady who just broke a glass in front of me. Ha, got you, got you, count to singer. We're on as a do not give her another drink, waiter.

And she goes, just tell me what do this thing get. You know, so she's gonna say. Yeah, not the mind of who I am, honey. Yeah. So Luan gets up and she's like, I am leaving. And she's like, leaving. You're being got a month and a half. Just go get...

I'm like, what is she the dad that abampt into, you know? Like, come on people. So then Luan's like, it's like packing a mustard just hits during the face, you know? I mean, I've like a pack of mustard just hits during the face. You know? I mean, I've been to jail. I've been in the system. I've seen dark things, but I've never seen anything like this.

I mean, let's face it. To bring to have a big temper. Okay? She's got loose lips. Okay? She's got a big temper and loose tongue. Face, okay? She's like, loose ship sinks ships. What about that? So meanwhile, Beth and he tone. Face, okay? Just wish she's light. Lose ship, sink, ships.

I don't know. So meanwhile Beth and he is. Borshado, wing. Yeah. So Beth is now, she's like, you know what, Carol? You're just too cool for me. You're just too cool and Carol's like. Yeah, you have this linko.

You say this linko, it's cool. What is that linko? Like, what are you young? Like, what is that? What are you saying? It's cool. You're trying to be sick. You're not sick. You're not sick. Okay.

You know what? What do you say to a new game? I'm kind of on game count. So Carol's like, as you said, she's like, well, maybe I am too cool. And so she basically, so Carol starts like accusing Beth and he of saying something to Ramona, whatever. And she's basically, oh, okay. Oh, you want to go to court now?

You want to go to court? You want to get a lawyer? You want to discuss this? You want to get the facts in here? You want to get all the facts in sort? You want to get all the facts and sort this out? I'm like, that would actually probably a good idea at this point. You're in court enough. Okay, so Durin, I know, that's cool, but it's true. Like, why would you

suggest that to somebody? Like, you're in court enough. Okay, suggest therapy, anything else. So Durin, because Luan just goes to the bathroom, because where's Luan gonna go? She's not gonna leave. She's doing that thing. She's like, I'm leaving. And I was like, okay, cool. She's like, on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again. Thank you. Even you, Tarenda. The waiter's like, uh-uh-uh. So Tarenda is like, I will never speak to her again. Never. And we're both like, you both, we,

what the fuck is that? She signed the record for you. Love her. She says to me, you can't request it. I'm not getting a record. She flips the table. You guys see tomorrow. So, and then we come back to Bethany.

We should hear her. She's going, first of all, I love you. Like I love you. I love you. I was like love you, I love you. I was like, wait, what happened? What happened in the two seconds between Dorenda Slurs, you know? But then he goes, Kira goes,

well, I didn't know you were crying. You're not having anything, Kira, you're not having to look at that damn thing. I'm like, wow, you turned right back into it. Turned right back into it. So meanwhile, Duand is like,, oh hi, I'm leaving. I'm just gonna leave again, excuse me. I'm leaving again.

So Tim's like, you don't have to go, we're friends. Just because she's mad doesn't mean you have to be mad. We can just be together. I plan this trip, please stay. I don't wanna have to go, we're friends. Just because she's mad doesn't mean you have to be mad. We can just be together. I plan this trip, please stay. So I go, I'm sick to my stomach.

I mean, all that street meat, am I right girls? You don't know what she said to me. She said I'm a convict that I have a mug shot that I'm an ex-countess. That I have an amazing hairstyle that everyone keeps copying. That I discovered skinny girl. Oh, just terrible, terrible things. Oh, said Tennessee's like,

Who cares, I'm Rink and Yada Earing. Stay out. It was awful, huh? I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. And only on this show does one of the other wives comfort you by saying, I have a month shot too. Who cares?

Who cares? So they do like a Golden Girls hug. You know, in the opening credits, we all come together and do like a hug. And Jorinda comes back and she's like, oh, got it, got it, got it. Group hug, got it, everything. Got it, got it, got it.

She sits in her chair. She's like, got it. I'll sit here. Golden Girls empty- chair, she's like, got it. I'll sit here. Golden Girls empty-nets right here. Okay. Got it. Got it. Okay.

Then it's more of this times 20. So look at me. It's Bethany. It's just Bethany freaking out. Yeah. So now Lou Ann really does leave. And Durinda's like, listen. Oh, I said.

And it was probably wrong. No. I said, don't worry about me. I don't have a mug shot. That's it. That's all I said. Yeah, she goes, I could have been making comments this whole time, like feelings. Every day I call that girl, I call that convict ex-countis every single day. Carol's like, you know, like friendships, Evan flow, you know, like Ocean's on rocks. Care's like, that's what I was gonna say, damn it. So then they go home, right? Everyone goes, well, you do change,

tend to change your puts, now they have to like one to drink and they're like, nope, nope, nope. No changes, nope, nope. No change detected, nope, still here. Say me, listen, listen, no changes. No change detected, no still here. Say me, listen, listen, no change. Don't protect honey, there's not a good job. You're not my mother, you're not my daughter. So you don't stop paying my bills,

you're my fucking mother. Yeah, yeah. She's like saying that's the waiter. Waiter's like, oh. Yeah. Well, when Durenda goes off, she's like, Missile. Missile.

Crazy. Keep my mouth shut. Okay? No, you know. Dorenda's just back there screaming. So now they're heading home. Okay, this is like now the wake of the big fight. Unless did I skip anything?

No, thank you, because I can't anymore. I'm like done. I'm done. Like, what's up? So, Bethy, because I can't anymore. I'm like done. I'm done. What was I? Like what's up? So Bethy, this is how Bethy gets in the car. She's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh's bashing, he's walking away. He's like, you see it, I'm gonna recover. I'm gonna recover, just having a excuse. I'm like, you should probably wanna go to recovery for a few different reasons.

So then in the other card, they're talking about what a shithead Louana is for trying to tell somebody about sobriety. Now that's what they think, because that's what Durinda told them, right? Like, she's the one who's that drunk or that she's telling the other drunk. Which is true, guys.

I mean, if you guys have ever been to rehab or had a one who's that drunk, or that she's telling me how to drunk. Which is true, guys. I mean, if you guys have ever been to rehab, or had a friend who's in rehab, been to Weight Watchers, even. But girl, I'll go to Weight Watchers for a few days and be like, everyone in the world is fat, except me. How about somebody who wants to cross calories? Crossfit people. It's like, oh my god.

You know, I didn't do the workout of the day today, sorry. We get it, you know, she could be like that, but she wasn't like that in this instance. Louanne only was like, there she goes she's starting and Brenda took it as like this whole like you know like judgment on her person out in her life choices Etc and that's what she told everyone so everyone's now piling on to Luanne in the car Yeah, so now we get all these clips that we're gonna see 20 times in the upcoming month-long reunion Yes, double right we're tensed like I got it

I mean someone drinks a ton of fall-temp but she's another gonna lecture you of the upcoming month-long reunion, festival, right? We're tensed, he's like, I got it. I mean, someone drinks a ton and fall, ten butches, and now they're gonna lecture you. And then Durinda says, and she's like, got arrested in the bushes, by the way. You guys know that, right? That's where she was arrested,

stalking her boyfriend, coked out of her mind, and called me. But then there's like this really awkward moment because, you know, of course, this was taped a few months ago, and, you know, recent things that happened in the Wands like she's gone back to rehab and during this like you know She'll be drinking again in three months. She told me and I was like this is awkward She told me

I mean the way I'm just probably like only way I'm too. I'm not drinking, but don't worry. I'll be back No, the way I'm probably was like hey, I'm gonna go see that new Kevin Hart movie. She's like, oh, yeah,'t worry. I'll be back. No, Luan probably was like, hey, I'm going to go see that new Kevin Hart movie. She's like, oh, yeah, she told me she'd be drinking again. It's like, man. Did you hear that wrong, Duranda? Ding dong. Luan just got me a ding dong that bitch.

I think it was the doorbell. OK, so Luan and Bethany. Wait, but just before that, one thing that cracked me up is, again, they're like, now they're talking about Bethany and like, whatever. And Carol's like, you know, one thing that cracked me up is again, they're like, now they're talking about Bethany and like, whatever. And Carol's like, you know, the thing with Bethany is like, a lot of her friendships tend to explode. And Ramona goes, oh, actually, that's a good point.

What a good point. I never thought about that. Never, ever thought about that. Not even when I was walking across the Brooklyn Bridge with Bethany herself. Never, ever, ever thought about that. Not even when I was walking across the Brooklyn Bridge with Bethany herself. Never ever ever thought about that. She's just so clear to point out, she was the one who said that.

Not me, you know? She's like gonna have an easy year this year. Exactly. So Bethany gets home and she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh bed. I think we know who won this round, Yadis. So Bethany comes into Luanz room in Luanz in her bed. She's like, so you're like, let's go on on how I feel. And she's like, I'm not okay. I thought I was going to throw up.

I thought I was going to vomit. But I did have another streetcoken after all. Well, the render problem feels like she's about to vomit, too, if that makes you feel any better. So, basically, the way I was like, could you believe it, a mug shot? And then Beth and he's like, oh my god, it went so dark, so deep, the wall has eroded. Neither one is really listening to each other, whatever.

Exactly. This is what she thinks of me. My friend, I'm like, you are a reality star, cast members, there's no friendship here ever. So downstairs, Durinda is talking to Carol, and she's like this. Like she's got her face as full on that David Lynch movie where Diane What's Her Bones Pizzlipsic all over her face. And I'm really good.

Why have been bring it up? I'm like, it's a good illusion. It's a good illusion. Wild at heart, probably. It was, I thought it was a bird. Wild at heart. It was, I thought it was a good. Wild at heart. Three words. One of them is little.

So she's like done, like her, she was basically making out with her, the chair. Because you know, in the back of the van, she was like passed out against the chair like, huh? Huh. Huh. Yeah.

Hey, nice to see you. Hey, nice to see you. What are you doing, son? I just had the best swim. We see Carol, she's like doing the old lady breaststroke. Like, huh. Yeah. Huh.

Not going to get my hair wet. Huh. My legs fell off. She just has leprosy in the pool. I think they'll all have. Ah! Ah! Ha! Ha! Ha! She just has leprosy in the pool. Ha! Ha! Someone's like, oh!

So, uh, so, during this like playing with the zyperon of purge, she's like, hmm. Ha! Hmm. You're just dropping cigarettes everywhere. She's like, hmm, you know what? I feel really bad. I think she said some bad things.

And Carol goes, what did you say? As if the whole town didn't hear it, you know? And she's like, well, you can't get a guy that makes you shot in a felony and so funny. You don't know me. I'm the most forgiving person ever, but I will not apologize. Like she forgets whether she's sorry or not.

I love Durin, okay? I do not care what Durin did Oh, yeah, she could cut off the head of a baby giraffe and I'd be like she was just drunk on laughter She was a total monster this episode, but I was like yes go Durin to go like I don't care I mean she was terribly wrong, but she's making these crazy metaphors or analogies. She's like I don't care if you the biggest fucking Helen Eric I don't care if you're the biggest fucking heroin Eric. I did, Dika, Dika, Rika, Rickshaw, I did, Dika. I'm so heroin-lick-a-one time. I was like, come over on my house.

So she was saying, I don't care if you're heroin-lick-a, come over, I said, come on over. Well, that explains your relationship. And Carol's like, I think that maybe she was trying to help you and turn it like, help you with what? What? Lip, yeah. Like that.

Her foot is on fire. I don't know what she got to help you with. Well, you know, it's just part of getting sober. So now she wants to impart this wisdom. And she goes, with them, just me. You know it's just part of getting sober so now she wants to impart this wisdom and she's Just me It's like Frankenstein has arrived So then Bethany comes down set great trip. Yeah, this has been really great

I'm gonna have a balloon like what am I gonna do that? But I had a balloon like what am I doing like what's this like seriously? And so Carol's like what's this, like, seriously? And so, Carol's like, what's time to go? You know, because Bethany's coming. So she's trying to go, I fuck my relationship with the way that this is gonna be easier, like, who cares? And Bethany goes, you know what?

We're gonna wipe your fucking face first. Who walks around like this? And why would Carol let you sit here on national TV with lipstick all over your face? What the fuck, Carol? And then she doesn't just wipe it off. She gets like a rag and she's like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, And then they basically drew into Bethany Tells, drew into it. Well, she saw a switch go off.

And she said, a switch went off. It wasn't switched time yet. I didn't flip the switch yet. I see, knows it was going to come out. So Bethany's like, look, everyone loves you. Everyone supports you. I cannot wait until tomorrow when you're sober. And I get to tell the world you're an alcoholic need help

and don't deserve any love or anything that you have in the world see you tomorrow really love it. Yes, the good news Yeah, the good news tomorrow. We're gonna take a nice peaceful restful boat ride And it's gonna be wonderful. I'm gonna work out I'm just gonna sail and sail back and then they show a preview for next week and this the entire preview Oh, this is lovely. Oh This lovely is a what a lovely trip But for tonight we'll leave you with this little piece of advice from Derinda Thank you everybody so much.

Thank you, just for last so much. This is like a huge honor. Thank you guys for coming. I know you had a lot of other things you could see. We really appreciate it. Thank you guys so much. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us

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