Watch What Crappens - RHONY: A Wreath of Ranklin'

Episode Date: August 28, 2023

It's part 2 of our RHONY recap (S14E07). Will Erin mend things with Brynn? Will Ubah make an appearance? Will Sai get to eat?Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/88397447See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What when this song happens? You're not crap. It's what we don't need to be crap. Kids, what happens when this song happens? Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Karim. We are here for part two of our Roni recap.

We started part one on the previous episodes. If you're like, wait, what the hell, what's going on? That's where it is. So go subscribe to our podcast if you haven't already. If you're just coming in sort of out of the blue. Go subscribe, you have all our episodes in your podcast player. And I don't want to, let's not wait. Let's dive into the whole second hour of recapping of Rony.

So, Jessel and her mom, her elegant mom, Nielam, are walking down the street. And you know, you mentioned before about dressing in oatmeal. This was like an oatmeal off. Both of them are in, I mean, they just love wearing a gale. I love their gale. Jessel is just committing to oatmeal. She's like, I'm wearing oatmeal,

my mother's wearing oatmeal. And I need a scout to go out and find Is the only restaurant that is completely decorated in right shades of oatmeal It was a full oatmeal restaurant even the song was oatmeal It was like that it was like from the Charles Schultz Charlie Brown soundtrack What I don't even know what the song was but it was like what it does depressing Charlie Brown piano songs I was like how it does depressing Charlie Brown piano songs. I was like, how can you go from like, what girls I'm lacking in New York, we lacking and I'm triggered.

And then we go to a very beautiful version of peanuts. And I would walk 500 miles. It was a mashup. I can walk 500 miles. So they are basically floating heads in this beige restaurant. Because of the restaurant, it can't be stated in mouth distress. Giant wicker baskets, cream seats, brown chairs, cream lights. They even had mirrors on the wall to reflect more cream and the borders of the mirrors were wood. To be brown.

Everything was like, wow. Everything was like this. Okay, so you just know the food was bad too. So, Jettles, basically basically on her mom's like, I'm just like, Don't you? Bread is base. Bread is base.

Yeah, I make fun of the color, but I'd eat it any day of the week. I mean, I'm trying to think of other beige, it was like oatmeal, oatmeal is literally oatmeal colored. And then, Peanut butter. peanut butter is brown I feel like it's like in the family. Well, I think brown is like different than beige food I'm gonna say that well rice crispy treat

beige Crease beige Okay, so the mom is sitting down there Someone in the jessles giving her a ship for having her short haircut. She's like, when are you gonna grow your hair mother? And she's like, it does grow. And then it goes flat. She goes, oh my God, just do layers, mom.

She's like, I don't have time. This is it. This is my hair now. You need to learn to live with it, jessel. She's like, mom, I mean, it's just you and I have my house. You're off time. And so the mom's like, oh, it's just you and I have my house. You're off time. And so the mom's like, oh, you're just like, and just like, oh, that's how I am.

I'm like a chihuahua mother. Is that what I am? Which is the big thing on this show is that you say one small thing, and then a cast member likes to imbue a lot of like meaning to it. Like, are you saying the time of princess? Are you saying that I don't support other women? are you saying the time of princess are you saying that I don't support other women are you saying the time of your war war so um but Neil was like Neil um was like yes yes you were like a I am saying that yeah and she's oh so as to page that means

you're perfect are you mother and she goes yes so she tells us that her mom is her best friend and she's like, and you know, it's an Indian girl growing up. Of course, I kept plenty of secrets from my mom. I would sweep host slutty outfits into my backpack and then go off tonight clubs, but IVF is the most serious secret. It's something that lives with me, but I will tell you, it did make it more fun getting IVF even when it was depressing at the time, because every IVF appointment I would show up to you, I would sneak an SNM outfit into my bag

and then show up to IVF dress like that. It was like a double wharmy for mum, you know? Yeah, I love dressing slutty to IVF. So Jassal's like, so so hmmm what should we talk about? Well I can't believe that Dad has literally dropped Kai in his head like five times already and is still not fixed that boy. And he'll I'm like oh yes well I'm very scared when the kids are with him. Because well I mean yesterday you were mad at me because you said that I called him a

shithead. At least well you have to have respect for your father. Well I do respect I'm very respectful. But you go dad a shit head. At least, but you have to have respect for your father. But I do respect. I'm very respectful. But you go down a shit head. But, because he is a shit head sometimes. But I'm the wife, I can say it. I love that you just don't. You can tell how many babies you've been around in your life,

because you just totally skipped over. The dad just keeps dropping the baby on his head like I mean, then it's like that's normal. You know, the same. They have a soft spot on their head. Don't let the dad hold the baby. What's going on in this household? Also, why are you saying this on TV on purpose when you're trying to get your children

into a smart people school? Like, that's going to be on camera. They're going to be like, oh, is this a school with a kid from television that's constantly dropped on his head, goes to? I don't want to go here. I would like to amend my application to the Tom Cruise Montessori School. Not only is my child socially inept, which is a good thing, I believe, but also his head is so flat to replace any sort of teaching tools right on it. It's like having a little talking table. I'm not sure if I'm the one who's everything. She's everywhere. Everything.

Everything. Either one. Justin lives right here in your heart. So her mom's like, well, listen, my parents were very strict, just all. And I don't want to be like that with you guys. Because you were strict. I'm just, but only because I worry and I want to be with you. I support you and I want to be there. She's like, okay, well, that being said, there are because I worry and I want to be with you, I support you and I want

to be there. She's like, okay, well, that being said, there are things I wanted to tell you. It took me a long time to get pregnant. I found fingerprints on a candle holder that looks like a columbra truiting out of the water. And thank God for that fingerprint kit I bought. I know that your fingerprint was on them. So I'm here by blaming you for making it difficult for me to get pregnant because

you knew the stress was killing me and it was your stress with your fingerprints. Stop trying to hide it. Well, you know, it took us a very long time for us to get, we had a lot of difficulty to get pregnant, you know. You know, it's very hard to get in the romantic mood when your husband is stuffing his face with fried chicken while you're copulating. So eventually we decided to let him eat his chicken with his friends and I will go get banged up with a needle. And so we started IVF and I was not crazy about the idea, but what's that going to do? Have either goat IVF or have sex and smell like 36 flavours

or whatever's in that freaking fried chicken they've got with the old man from the south? So it's my only option. I did one round, it didn't work and then we basically ended up doing a second round and like try back it, it just didn't come together, you know, it was not quite working. It was six months of injections and whole months, it's just awful. You have to inject your stomach every two weeks. So imagine me telling you this stuff. Just imagine me telling you this stuff, mother.

A little neighborhood where the streets don't run straight, trying to find your way around. Would you think that anyone would actually have the nerve to invite you somewhere like that? No, I would say it's very confusing. And I would be there to hold your hand and help you and to read a map quest. You know, Ed Gessel says, when I get to code, my mom doesn't sleep. She calls in the first thing in the morning and is like, oh my god, how are you feeling? And she internalizes it. Sleepless nights. She doesn't eat.

You know, she's like, I don't know, some vagrant walking around Tribeca. But I don't want my mom going through that, much like I don't want anyone to go to Tribeca. So I just didn't tell her. And the mom's like, well, they're both crying. This is actually rude, like, we're teasing, but it's really accusing.

They're both crying. And the mom's like, well, why don't even know what to say? And she's like, mom, I mean, listen, it's not like at the end of the day you get nothing for nothing. And that's so you could say for the life of the poor. You would have been amazing, but it's difficult to talk about this stuff in our culture, you know, and if I'd made it public knowledge, what would have the response have been? And her mom's like, gossip. I love that. The mom just like because the mom's like crying into her Margaret, she's a little is sipping her Margaret Rita so she doesn't have to cry. And then she just like rears her head up because, gossip. And I was like, oh, what was

the, what was the traumatic backstory of Neil O'Mennor, husband when they got married? Because I know, like in your culture, you know, everybody's going to talk shit and it's What was the traumatic backstory of Neil O'Mennor, husband when they got married? Because I know, in your culture, everybody's gonna talk shit and it sucks. Yeah. And Jess is like, yes, fucked up, but I knew it would be fine, mom. And I ended up getting two for the price of one.

So it's really the biggest bargain there is, mom. And the mom's like, that's true. I mean, your dad does get delighted when he can drop two babies at once. So it has worked out pretty well. So just so basically, she said like she wants her mom by her side as they prepare for like number three, which by the way, Poffice still is not signed off on, but just is going to go do it. She's just going to get herself a daughter.

And she goes, well, you know, three is my number. So that's not going away. I've been able to have my lucky number. Ever since I was ever since I was a child, she, you know, it's funny. I guess the thing that makes me laugh about that is she acts as if there's some maybe like authority or business that will say, um, I'm sorry, you no longer can have three of your lucky number. We're going to require you to have to update that. Like, it's not that hard to keep your lucky number for your entire life. That's sort of like the way it works. And she's like, I'd love for my mother to be there. She showed such sensitivity today, hasn't she? Maybe now she'll be sensitive enough of my needs to wipe fingerprints off glass

tables. We'll see. And I like that the mom laughs. She's like, you can't even raise the two you have. And she's like, mom, are you saying I can't raise the two I already have? Literally, yes. So now we see Brynn walking into a place and she's got a nice big green jacket on, which looks pretty cool. But also I like that it's suggest that it's the Grinch because we're still in the holidays. This show has really, it's really been really lingering in the holiday season. I've noticed. So we're still there. I thought it was I thought we were up in the new year because I feel like last

year, last week, they were talking about the new year, but we're still in the holidays. So Brinn walks into this place where there's a woman named Elise who who is a reath-making instructor. And Brynn talks about how the holidays can be rough, but she likes to direct all her energy into happy things, like decorating and making reats, and you know, things like that with her friends, so she can, you know, be distracted from the pain she feels at this time of the year. Um, I'm veg. Um, I'm veg. Oh, um, I don't like this Christmas this whole time. You know how they keep talking about

how it's depressing when it's Christmas? It is. So why are you making the whole season Christmas? Why aren't they doing like Jersey does where it's like, they don't even mention Christmas until they go, it's Christmas. And then everyone has a phone cam at Christmas and you see them all opening presents and that's it.

I don't want a whole season taking place at Christmas. This Christmas has really gone for a long time. So, Jessel enters and it's like, oh, and there's hugs and brain is like, yeah, when you're around, Jessel, you just feel loved. And when she's happy to see you, she's like truly happy to see you. And like she doesn't take herself seriously.

She's like heart and funny and like a space get it. I'm like, have you talked to Povit? Because I think you might have a different take on all of this. She's like, uh, just like, Oh, when you said to come as a ho, ho, ho, I mean, I'm covered, but still very sexy, right? And I cheers. And then Jenna comes and you know, Aparka, because she's Jenna.

And Brynn's like, um, don't let that woman in off the street. She's like not even supposed to be here. She's never even sat in the Rolls Royce before. Uh-huh. Hmm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. voice before. I'm just lifting these big sexy wreath sticks to each other. So Jenna has like a huge amount of bags. She has like two bags and boxes and everything. And she says, well, this is

the last time I'm going to get to see everyone before the holidays. So this is a bag. It's a culmination of my favorite things, products that I love and all female and small businesses. And I'm sure they'll be received really warmly because I'm really good at giving gifts on the show. It goes over really well each time. Yeah. And she's like, guys, I've been collecting presents for you guys. So inside, I think, inside walks down the street in the like the faked way, you know, because she's side, she's like, I'm an implement that. So she's walking like, don't, don't, there's

sunglasses on just slightly not looking at the camera. And then she even keeps walking in slow motion into the restaurant. I was like, babe, they'll add the slow motion for you in post. You don't actually have to do it yourself. No, this is how, you know what, growing up, I do everything for myself. So I needed a slow mo entrance. I just had to walk in slow mo, okay? So she comes in.

She's also in oatmeal today. And not only is she dressed in oatmeal, she actually wants oatmeal, because she walks in, because apparently this is like a morning event. And there's like, Brynn has got, she has put out a spread from someplace called Bubbies,

which I guess is probably like a Jewish jelly kind of place. I have to say, it looks like a perfectly fine and appropriate spread for this sort of event. I give it passing grades. I had no issues with it. So that way, so then when Si comes in and she looks at it and she's like, is there oatmeal? You know what Si, okay.

This is, there's a spread. There's a spread. We are looking at an old man on a catered spread. You fucking asshole. Okay. At this point, so go to Starbucks around the corner and get your oatmeal and then come back in. Yeah, and you know, this is a lot of eating disordered stuff with these women because they're all like

super stick thin and they're always talking about food and that is definitely a red flag. And listen, I've been treated for eating disorders thus, so that's where it comes from. It comes from a doctor. Well, like when people are constantly obsessing about food, complaining about food, saying how much they need food, complaining about food, saying how much they need food, but then she looks at avocado, which is like one of the healthiest things you could eat. And it's like, no, no brown avocado. Avocado turns brown as it sits in the air.

It's oxidizing. It's fucking idiot. Yeah, that's how it works. It doesn't need it's bad. And then her first thing is to get the avocado. Avocado was born, it's oatmeal, no one asked for oatmeal first. You guys are all ridiculous. Let's stop all pretending that you're eating all the time.

Okay. Well, it's like Beth and me, Frankl with her whole, I ain't now, I ain't now. Because people are always accusing her of eating disorder stuff. So she started like, in every scene, she would whip out popcorn and then eat it with her mouth open and eat it like really furiously.

Like, look at me, I'm eating eating or that video she did a few weeks ago where she was in a hotel room and found out what bags of crawfish were. Did you see that one? Yeah. Or terrifying or when she acts off the crawfish or when she actively bit Rekel's arm off during that interview. I was like, okay, we get it. You eat. Okay. So by the way, also, like, size just like not funny with our eating stuff,

because there is a world in which someone has hangups about food, and every time they do it, it's like very funny. I know, I'm like, I have, I'm trying to be very good about it, not compare this cast to the previous Rony cast, but the truth is, if Dharinda came in and complained about the D'Ariinda came in and complained about the food or Ramona came in and complained about the food or anyone did, it would have been hilarious. But when Sai does it, and I only, by the way,

I'm only referencing them because I can't think of any good comps from other franchises, but I would, you know, I'm sure if like someone on Jersey did it too, it would be funny. But when Sai does it, it's just like not funny. I can't describe it. I don't know how she could be funny about it, But when side does it, it's just like not funny. I can't describe it. I don't know how she could be funny about it, but when she does it, it's just not funny.

It's just sort of like, it's just, man, it's not sad. It's not, it's just like, I just feel like I want more from side and she's just not giving it to me. Completing about Brown and Avocado is not gonna cut it. She's giving oatmeal. She's giving oatmeal. She's giving oatmeal. This whole episode is kind of oatmeal. I'm not gonna cut it. She's giving oatmeal. She's giving oatmeal. She's giving. This whole episode is kind of oatmeal. I'm not gonna lie. So then, um, Jussles, like, well, I guess the food's not up to size standards because she

complains about food all the time. And so I was like, so what is this? A table mat? What is this? A hat? What is this? What are we supposed to do? We're making a hat out of a table mat. Is that what we hear for? That's what I skipped oatmeal for today. And, um like, God, size bitching and complaining. I mean, it's just when New Yorkers do. And then Uba is still sick. And Jenna's like, I'm just like over this sickness. Like I haven't even seen her in three weeks. Okay. And hey, brother, how's your brother Jenna? Has he reached out? And then, no, somebody just lost. No, no, no, Jocelyn says how her brother is

if he's reached out. And so I was like, yeah, is that the same brother that calls you Jenna Tale? Yeah, can you believe it, Jenna? I can't believe how starving I am right now that I can even remember that in my brain, but I can. I mean, isn't that pathetic? Jenna Tale, yeah.

Let me tell you the story about it, okay? Yeah, so then she tells, first of all, this is Jenna party story and then side-to-side that she's gonna tell it and tell it in a much less funny way She's like I was bonding with Jenna and I was wondering why Jenna doesn't ever share personal things with me So now I'm gonna tell you the personal thing. She told me okay, so I'm with Jenna and like thanks for having me By the way at that thing whenever it was and like there was one girl Who was like super nervous to break in and instead to like do this and so like to break the ice Jenna was like Oh, let me tell you something personal about myself and I thought that was really nice And she said my name was Judith. Can you believe it her name is Judith? And of course Jessica's Judas

That's one shade worst and pop it. I mean, I love it. I love it sister Judith. I love it. I J. Edwardston, Povit! I'm in love with it! I love it! Sister Judith! I love it! I feel like this is the, this is the reaction she had the first time she saw Povit eat a hot dog on the street where she was just like, Oh, Judith! Absolutely disgusting darling! disgusting darling. She goes, Judith to me lives on the upper east side and she wears pink and shops at big dove and that's not Jenna Lyons, that's not my sister. Who are you Judith?

Commissions. Here comes one right now. And so I was like, yeah, my name is not Judith. And when she was in college, she got the chance. She tells her whole story. You know, literally just tells the same story that she was told. Or just so shitty, you story, stealer.

Yeah. And so then, she's like, okay, so what's the rest of you mean? And Jenna's like, it's Judith Agar. And Judith goes, I mean, just look at us. Judith Agar. How cool that's like a game of thrones name. And Jenna's like, yeah, well, I changed her to a Jenna line. I don't know what Game of Thrones is, by the way.

I changed her to Jenna Lyon's Muzo, Muzo, and then I dropped the Muzo after the divorce. So no, I just don't have a middle name. It just evaporated. So. Yeah, and it sucks, because I want a mon divorce. So, no, I just don't have a middle name. It just evaporated. So. Yeah, and it sucks, because I want a monogram. You know, I want monograms. And Justin was like, who, why don't you just have JFL?

JFL? I coined that. And she's like, yeah, okay, you know what? I'm actually gonna take that. And then she tells us, I'm Jenna Lyon. I'm Jenna fucking Lyon's. So, I'm taking it. And then I was like, oh my God, what was that?

And I had to pause it. And I just heard Gays Across America going, yeah. Yeah, Jenna fucking Lyons and Brin fucking. Wait for you. Yes, I don'ts So then like a gray cloud descends on this wreath-making party because Aaron walks in and she just walk They already can see it she takes one step into this place and everyone can get her Energy you know because immediately and she as soon as she walks in everyone's like are you okay? Are you okay? Brinds like, Dan Thveanor is here.

Yeah. And Aaron comes in wearing the saddest outfit. Okay, she's wearing a white button down shirt that she's wearing like a silver beaded bikini top over the white shirt. And it's like way down below her boobs. And she just looks like this odd lady who put her bra on wrong with really dangly boobs.

It was like, yeah, told you this was okay, probably Abe. So somebody would criticize it and then you could get all pissed off and you can come bitch to him all night because that's his fucking kink. Yeah, so Aaron's like, I just had to go to this re-making party because I'm pissed off. And I wanted to ruin Brin's party

just the way she ruined mine. Like, because she didn't ruin your party, you only found out about what she said after the fact, but the party itself was not ruined because you had a great time with the party. You can't retroactively have a party ruined. It doesn't work that way. Yeah.

So she's like getting a slow roll going on with her Darth Vader, right? Yeah. And she's like, so I was like, why are you so low energy? And she's like, I'm not. It's just that I've been up since 5.30 this morning. Okay. I'm going to ruin this party so bad. And then Lady Edith comes over and she's like, okay, here's how you're going to do the wreaths.

A symmetry is your friend and I'm not trying to shame the lady with the boobs stingling down to her bellybutton. Okay, sorry about that. Love your outward bra. And Bryn's like, my boobs are not asymmetrical. That's why I got them done. $17,000 later. Funny how you mentioned it in the French seat of a world's

rice and suddenly you have a bag of dough to get it done. Am I right? So they all start making their reads and just was like, I'm very focused right now. OK, I'm just, I've got another hat to wear, you know? Turn on lights, make beds, make reads. I've got the focus at food blast right now, because I do arts and crafts with my two-year-olds. I don't do it for fun. What sort of stupid

parvet-like idiot does arts and crafts for fun? It's ridiculous! For example, our last crafts with the children were taking pool noodles and tape and taping them around their heads, in case they were dropped by my father on top of their head. You know, I think it worked because he can still form the word Tom Cruise after his last drop. He just loves Top Gun Maverick. Well, we just forced him to watch it just in case he happens to meat told me school someday. So Aaron's like, um, uh, these girls think that I these girls I think they failed pre K because they can't even glow. I'm like, I'm like, this is, I mean, Aaron is shaming people for the way they glue their reads that they're just half-heartedly doing so that way they can get through the scene. It's just sad.

Aaron is just a miserable person. So she's like, these girls can't even glue. Like they can't even glue. And so I was like, all right, what's everyone thinking they're doing for the holidays? I mean, none of you are feeding anybody, right? Because that's basically the, that's basically the gist I'm getting. All right.

Unless anybody's going to have a brown off a cato catering party, I don't see anybody doing anything with food over the holidays in here. So Jettles has her parents are in and Aaron's like, oh, I'm going to the Dominican Republic. Yeah, it's gonna be just like four different families with a bunch of kids, we're gonna get one big house and just like be so upset at things all the time. You know what I'm saying?

Which by the way, nightmare house. I do not wanna be with Aaron and her friends and their children in the house in the Dominican Republic, Nightmare House. I do not want to be with Aaron and her friends and their children in the house in the Dominican Republic. I'm sorry. I feel like everyone in that beautiful nation should just flee. And flee.

Everyone in there is going to be like, oh my God, we're staying in Aaron's house in the DR and we still have to wear a park as it's the weirdest thing. How is it physically possible to make this house this cold? How is this house so cold? So she's like, yeah, like all my closest cousins are gonna come, actually, Si, if you'd stayed till the end

of my event, you would have seen the speech from my cousin and we get a, but it wasn't a, it was a, and I was like, even that is bored with Aaron's fucking personality, okay? They give Z's to the Z's. Who is, like, who is thinking to themselves, dang, wait, I missed a speech from Aaron's cousin, dang, I really fucked that up. I never should have left early, because I could have seen a speech from Aaron's cousin.

Wow. Can't wait to hear what cousin Rob has to say about the time that they had Passover together in eighth grade. I mean, what? I don't know. Exactly. What? So we get a tzzzzz. And so I goes, there was so many people they're giving speeches at your event. I couldn't even hear a thing to be honest with you. And they're like, yeah, because you left and you didn't even say, goodbye. Well, it was hungry. There was no food.

That's not a reason to leave someone's event and not say goodbye. I think it's incredibly rude and you have bad manners. And she's like, oh, I don't care. So I think it is. I think it is. So I got to be honest with the truth. Like everyone else with it, she's like, you took forever, everyone else with it.

I had a nipple caught and chain link. So I was like, I was hungry. Everyone knows how I get when I'm hungry. I get sort of annoying and like not very funny. And so Aaron goes, I know, but there was a ton of food. She goes, no, that wasn't. She goes, as you guys will everyone, every single person after the event said the food was incredible.

Like I went on to Valeranuel.com and my Valeranuel Yelp score was like 12, which is crazy because it only goes up to four. And she's like, well, I don't eat meat and they were like, Piggy's in a blanket. I couldn't eat that shit. Well, I don't eat meat. And they were like, piggy's in a blanket. I couldn't eat that shit. Well, I don't care. I have to get out of there. And Aaron's like, you don't even care.

You don't even care. She goes, yeah, I don't care. That's correct. No one cares. It's like, oh, she doesn't think it's rude. Now, she goes, well, I'm so annoyed with Si's hungry excuse because maybe you should get that checked out. Like, maybe you have a worm in your stomach.

And then we see a clip of sigh making her whole personality about how she needs food, which is also ridiculous. You know, Aaron and sigh are both ridiculous, but they're giving me a fight in which I think both people are wrong, but I'm also proud of both people for hating the other person because it's justified. And I also don't care, but I'm also proud of both people for hating the other person because it's justified and I also don't care, but I'm also still watching. And I feel like that's just such a good recipe for a show. These are just my favorite kinds of shows.

I'm like, oh my God, I don't like either one of these people. I can't wait for them to find about something I don't give a fuck about. Yeah, I'm on the side side with this. I think size, I think size whole thing about being hungry is gotten really old and I'm done with it, but in this case, I actually fully support there was not food for her and I because I believe if there was food for her to eat, she would have eaten it. I actually do believe that and there was no food for her and you know Aaron went up to change into her outfit

and you know that took forever, you know it's not gonna be just like a 10 minute switcheroo. It probably was like a hair and a makeup thing and then photos and then someone goes up there and they're chatting and yada yada yada and size sitting there and she's like, I'm in this boring ass event. There's no food. I've had to sit through like a million boring speeches and then I've had a sister yell at me and I don't want to do this anymore on me. Get some, you know, get some McDonald's and go home. I agree with you, but I got a pair of things. So, also Aaron's so obviously lying,

when she goes, there's tons of food there. Another one, because still the only thing you can say is when Scy comes back with, I don't eat meat and there were only piggies in a blanket. There was no argument to that. And I feel like if there was one, Aaron would have made it, because Aaron's like the argue queen.

She's so bad at everything. Also, this is like when I go and stay at my parents' house in New York, they don't really have snacks. They have a fridge that is full of food, but it's like random produce and like random, just random shit, like just all sorts of stuff, like bulk things from Costco. They've got a full fridge, but if I'm just like, ugh,

I just want like a little snack or something, there's nothing for me to really just like snack on. And anytime I mention that, my parents go, but we have all this food. And I'm like, yeah, but I don't wanna like have to am a guiver as snack out of like a block of feta and you know, some lettuce. And like I don't, like I want like a snack, you know? I want like a pretzel.eta and you know some lettuce. And like I don't, like I want like a snack, you know?

I want like a pretzel. Yeah, so like some pretzels or so it's possible. Yeah, it's possible for food to be present, but they're not to be something to eat. I know that sounds very privileged, but I'm gotta, I have to give my reality on that one. And I think people understand that situation.

So I feel like Erin was giving parent energy, be like, what? The fridge was full of food. You couldn't find something to eat. You couldn't make yourself a snack. Why don't you take last night's chicken and wrap it up with some, put some grape jelly on it, and you know, put it on a piece of bread.

Well, there's always snacks at my parents because my mom doesn't eat very much. And she said when she grew up, she kept thin by eating one Snickers bar a day, Well, there's always snacks at my parents because my mom doesn't eat very much. And she said when she grew up, she kept thin by eating one Snickers bar a day, and that's all she would eat. Okay, so that's where all my eating disorder gets stuck, comes from. Confession time. So anyway, she's the same way now where she'll eat like literally a bite and then get,

I think what really fills her up more than the one bite is just like letting all the judgment soak in that she's getting to do on everybody else that she watches them eat. So she'll like take one bite and then she gives dirty looks to everyone else and you can like literally hear her stomach stop growling. It's the crazy thing. Like different people need different things. But she always has a snack in her house. She'll have peanut butter crackers. You know those slips that you get in gas stations of peanut butter crackers,

like orange ones. Orange ones. Yep. And then every damn there, I go in there and I look at her packet and one cracker is gone each day. And I'm like, it's an advent calendar. Yeah. She has that and she'll do a pop tart where she'll like take off one little piece of a pop tart, you know, every day. So you slowly see the pop tart go down and sometimes like, I'll make it through an entire trip and I'll see an entire sleeve of peanut butter crackers go and that's when I know it's time to go home. It's been eight days, you know, this is all I can take. I love that. The Orange Cracker calendar. It's the timer. The Fat Men calendar. Okay, so then we go to you.

So then the switch is upright, because Sy doesn't give a fuck, and she's about to turn on Aaron. Aaron has pissed everyone off at this point. So Aaron's like, Sy just goes, I came, I saw I left. And Aaron goes, Yeah, thanks for that because I came, I saw her, I left. And Aaron goes, yeah, thanks for that.

You came, you saw, you left. And then Brynn's like, um, which you didn't even say thank you for her coming there, thing. And Aaron goes, yeah, well, she's not getting you, thank you. And guess who else isn't you after what you did? I mean, what you did was flat out horrendous, Brynn. Brynn's like, what did I do?

And Aaron's like, because she didn't go up to Abe and say, if you get divorced, please let me know at my anniversary party. I mean, do you think that's normal to do that? And Brin goes, you don't even know when you're talking about, and Aaron's like, I'm talking about you saying, wow, you're not even actually married

because at your first marriage you didn't say vows. And then you said, whenever you're ready to get divorced, please let me know. And you don't say that to someone at their anniversary party where their cousins make a speech later in the evening after the vows. You don't do that. And Brent said, oh my God, Erin, give me a brink. And Jussel's like, I was there. And I saw it. And she was just doing it in Brinn style. It was laughing.

If your husband should be upset about anything, it's that Parvett brought in warm nuts from the street. And tried selling them to random people to keep the economy going during such a difficult time. Yes, you know what, Brin, what Brin was saying to Abe is like, Puffett's little fried chicken society. It was a joke. It's a joke. No one really cares. And Brin goes, yeah, well, maybe you should tell Abe to stop laughing at my jokes.

And then we see a clip of Abe going, ha ha ha. And then after I'm gonna tell her, she's right and everyone else is wrong. And then we're gonna have more love. And then after I'm gonna tell her, she's right and everyone else is wrong. And then after I'm gonna tell her, she's right and everyone else is wrong. And then after I'm gonna tell her, she's right and everyone else is wrong. And then after I'm gonna tell her, she's right and everyone else is wrong. And then after I'm gonna tell her, she's right and everyone else is wrong. And then after I'm gonna tell her, she's right and the best anger sex ever and then after I'm gonna tell her

She's right and everyone else is wrong and then we're gonna have more like Pist off but starting to feel better sex. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait to put on my My Patagonia vest and fuck my wife. So brain is like because it'll be cold in there So Fuck my wife. So brain is like it'll be cold in there. So It was like a reference like I can't wait to wrap myself in a weighted blanket bang my wife I'm gonna put on my my North Face puffer and fuck the fuck out of my wife It'll be a little cold. So, uh, then we come back and bring it like it was a reference to friends Ross and Rachel.

I was doing a bit. I was just like Abe could take it. He was giving it back. And just like cat was a joke. Everyone was laughing. Abe was laughing. And they're like, I don't care if it was a joke. You don't joke about divorce at my engagement party

to my husband. That's literally where you joke about it. You fucking humorless human being. How does this woman have any friends at all? I mean, this is because someone who is completely humorless. How did you even have anybody to give you some? Hello, Ronnie. It's called making an iconic shakshuka. Who doesn't want to be friends with

her? Let's be honest, Shakshuka is some eggs boiled in tomato sauce. Can we all get the fuck over Shakshuka and stop pretending that's the most amazing thing in the world? We've all had it before. Okay, everyone who has had Shaksuka has reacted the same way Ben does whenever he sees it on the menu. He goes, oh my god, they have Shaksuka. I don't really want that. I try. I like it. I like it. I like it. I have a big love. I love Shaksuka. Nobody. They're like, oh, they're Shaksuka here. There's some people who love it. They're really tomato saucy, like soft egg. Okay, yo.

I think here's a good way to revise what you're saying. Not that it needs revision, but what I am gonna revise to say is that Saksuka should just not be a personality. You know, like, don't make, don't make Saksuka your personality than expect to just like kill it on the real housewives. Now, Saksaka, shake shaka. And that could go.

I like shake shaka because you can weaponize that food if you ever get the mushroom. There's like a big fried mushroom, it's stuffed with cheese and that's like their vegetarian option. But when you bite into it, if there's a hole right in the proper place of the mushroom, it squeezes really hot oil at it whoever is sitting across from me. It's like you should take people there you don't like and just chomp down and blind them with the hot. That's a personality. You know, shake Saka like the shake Saka abuser. I feel like I can just yeah it could be very very effective but also it could work against you

if you're not careful and most likely will Because I've worked against me. That's how it came up with the idea I know sometimes before you learn to shoot someone in the face. You have to learn to shoot yourself in the foot It's just part of life. Yeah, so So Braena's lie saying she's insisting that she did not bring up divorce at this party and then of course we see a montage of a brain-managing divorce like five times. Which is great.

I mean, there's a lot of similarities between this episode in Atlanta also last night because between talking about IVF and embryos and acting like you don't say certain words and then having montages of saying those words. I guess that's just those two things, which is really trying to create a through line between these two shows, not the hook.

So Brim's like, yeah, well, I call him Abe DeBae. But like, how do you mad about this, but not when I wake up in your bed and like joke about plan B? And they're like, cause I was there for that. This wasn't with my husband. And so I was like, oh my God, what kind of Christmas holidays is sitting across from a bunch of grinsches? I bet Santa Claus comes to your house and doesn't even leave shit because you won't even

leave him a cookie, a bunch of non-feeding fucks. Let's be honest, Aaron would not leave a cookie for Santa. But also, by the way, they wouldn't. They would leave one pig in a blanket and then be like, um, where was Sanchez? Thank you, card for the fucking spread of catering on that time. So Santa just like dropped the presence and left without even saying goodbye. Like my cousin was about to make a speech that morning. Um, you know, um, the reason why, by the way, to answer Brin's question of why was it okay, you weren't mad, why was it okay when I made a joke about Plan B

in your bed in the Hamptons? And then we see the flashback of that, a Brin being like, I need a Plan B, and they were going, ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's because Aaron was trying to sell America on the fact that she was hosting the most hilarious girls trip ever to her house.

So everything had to be hilarious and absolutely amazing. That's why it was okay to joke about that. Yeah, that's true. Um, so Jassal, Si's like, listen, Prim loves to flirt. What's the big deal? Like does she really want Aaron's husband? No, nobody wants Abe. Like he won't even give the coach a coach.

Like nobody wants this person, okay? Like he may have a fucking Peter Gallagher eyebrows, but that's what the similarity is. Okay, it's done. So Jossel's like, you know, I know women that are out to get your husband. Let me tell you, one of them worked it to funnel cake machine on 36. This is not that.

And Bringers, well, I'm sorry you weren't there and you heard a version of the story and for whatever reason, it upset you. And Aaron's like, it's one thing after another. I'm like, no, you're one thing after another. Every episode you're annoyed by some dumb infraction of what you feel like is the way. Oh, life should be. Yeah. When you're playing after another from you, one imagined slight, you know, Amber, I'm like, it's not. And then you're like, you're I'm afraid what the married man is going to get real. Even though you were just with the married man as a joke. So Brin's not the best fighter. She just needs to say I was kidding. Get your stick out of your ass and tell your eyebrows. Your tell your eyebrows husband. I said snitches get stitches bitch. The end. So I have to say

say your husband's a fucking was and why does your husband need to get you this riled up to relate to you in any way? You should find a different way to rile up your husband instead of mutual fury at everybody else. Yeah. So Aaron's like, this is the fuck this is the difference between Brann and most of my friends. Brind digs in her heels. She doesn't have ownership. She can't apologize, I move on. You know, I think that maybe Aaron's, maybe she would get an apology for Aaron's and say, hey, by the way, I heard the other day,

you were sort of like joke flirting with my husband and I know you meant it like a joke, but it actually makes me feel uncomfortable so I'd appreciate if you don't do that anymore. And then I think probably Brandon would be like, chill about that. Yeah, yeah, or just pick it. No, just, I don't know, it doesn't have to be this.

So Aaron's like, you were making jokes to entertain yourself. Just, yes, because your party was boring. And then we get a new sound effect, which is rare. It takes a long time to get these. But this one goes, it's like a slide whistle down. And it's a special slide whistle down. And it's a special holiday sound effect. It only happens at Reath Party is unfortunately.

So Aaron's like, I'm not going to be here anymore. I'm not enjoying myself. And Jessica goes, you're not serious. And she goes, I'm, yes, I am the opposite of not serious. Sorry, I was trying to find that in a way that I could repeat exactly what you said. And it didn't really work. But I am the opposite of not serious. Sorry, I was trying to find that in a way that I could repeat exactly what you said and it didn't really work, but I am serious. And it's like,

bah-hamba, yeah, man, come sit down. It's like, I'm not in the mood. Like, I'm gonna take my sick wreath that I made. Fucking sick. Sick. So Jenna, so that Jenna, of course, is like, I don't understand.

I mean, Brinflirtsts went to the order of stake, or when she puts lashes on future goddaughters. I mean, it's just how she operates. And she basically thinks that Aaron has taken this way too seriously. So Aaron just has her read, and she goes, by the way, my read is beautiful because I'm really fucking good at designing,

and you guys all suck, bye. So I was like, maybe it's me, it's me, it's happened to you. So I was like, you know what, I get it. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe it was the brown avocado. What are you gonna do? And then we get an avocado, and so Brent's like,

I don't want someone to feel bad, but I was not flirting with him, okay? And Justin says, and you never said the D word. How dare she suggest that you said the D word, wish she did, but that also shows that Jessel's a good friend, and we'll just stick up for whoever's side, she's on no matter what.

Or she just doesn't really listen, which I also believe. So, so I was like, well, why are you apologizing about something you didn't do? And friends like, you know what? I want to have the conversation about why she feels this way. Like she knows me. And that's absurd. Hold on a second. I'm looking for apartments. Oh, my God. I just got a zilo listing for a wreath. They're there's actual, they put a wreath on Zilo. Aaron is selling a wreath to live in. She says she's made by someone who grew up coloring around when the pal throw

Fascinating come live in something that was made by someone who's really good at designing wow I just saw also and now this is the part where I messed up because I thought she said Abe I just freaked out on bread But it was Kelly so but the thing is, is that Kelly must have just woken up from a nap because she, her voice sounded totally different because Aaron's outside on the street and she's like, oh my God, I just freaked out on bread. I'm like shaking right now.

I just walked out on the whole thing with this like impossibly gorgeous wreath that I designed using my wonderful design experience. Like if Keith Herring passed me, he would be like in all of my work. And thanks. I just thanks he would literally unveil himself to me in this moment because he would just be taken in awe with my things. He would start having to call himself like check cashing.

Z check cashing story. What's like I'm so big right now. Yeah. Um, but like I'm so big right now. Yeah. But I'm literally shaking right now, because she's just weird. I don't know what her problem is. And the sister's like, I told you, she's fucking rude. I was so mad, but when I thought it was me.

When you thought it was me, you must have done it. You guys were still triggered thinking it's Abe. So Aaron's like, I mean, that was rude, right? It says, yeah, she's such a bitch and then she wears sunglasses like it's sunny honey It's not sunny honey. You're not a celebrity relax. Oh this must be awful for you. This must have been awful for you It was I like I'm still furious with Abe I hate him. I hated the way I was like the minute the cameras aren't on he's like all the all the women of bitches, fuck them. Oh yeah, honey, you don't need that. You're not celebrity, honey.

I was like, oh, I can't. I'll make sense. This guy is dead to me. So meanwhile, back at the, so I was like, wow, that's okay, well, that was an okay episode. And then, but like, no, it's still going because now Jenna is handing out gifts at the real place. And Jess was like, oh, thank you, Jenna, you are my dear best friend sister.

Thank you so much for this gift. The gift I have for you is taking care of Pawvette Fouig. Please take it out to my hands. Thank you so much. It's all about the fried chicken smell. And Brim's like, I love girls. I love expensive girls from men. but when it comes in bulk, it's weird, like I just don't understand all these gabs. It's my favorite travel bag,

that's cool, and wipes, and booty hole wipes, and just like, oh, Jennifer, Jennifer, you're so thoughtful, just like when we were children, this's why I saw some bonded like that. The so bone, you know? I mean, you know, when you finish a soul and people fight over the so bone over it and they stop pulling either side of the so bone, whoever gets the side with the biggest so bone wins, the biggest side of the so bone is always Jenna. Because that of the both of us and as Jenna's always had the biggest soap.

Oh, Jenna, thank you so much for these thoughtful gifts. And that don't make me look like a disgusting hag. Yes, I said the age, but thank you. This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much. I love everything about it. I have no complaints. Turn out of turn no notes.

And Jenna's like, um, well, I think that Jessel is just like hyper-aware of our past experience together. And then we see the clip of her Jessel just marching around in that ugly lingerie going, I look hideous in this. I've never looked so ugly in this. Thanks a lot, Jenna. Shea modest will be a nut seller downtown.

Absolutely disgusting looking. God, what am I gonna make a kill boss outside in Madison Square Garden? Thank you so much, Jenna. Thank you so much, thank you so much. Thank you, Jenna. Thank you, Jenna. So, Simey, while Sarsah say that she's suspecting

that there's an ulterior motive with these gifts because every gift has Jenna's name on it or it's like a collaboration and she's like, and then she picks up something that has Jenna's name. It's like, oh my God, today's swag bag is sponsored by Jenna Alliance. I'm like, you know, I don't know. It that kind of rub me the wrong way

because you're literally an influencer. Like your job is that people give you things and you hawk them to your following. And there's nothing inherently wrong with that, but I don't know why you're literally an influencer, like your job is that people give you things and you hawk them to your following. And there's nothing inherently wrong with that, but I don't know why you're upset with Jenna also influencing. And on top of that too, Jenna is like, she's like an established entity in the world of like fashion and taste making. She is.

And so like if something has Jenna lines his name on it, like that carries a lot more weight than the random ass sponsorships that Aaron has at her party. Or if Ramona Singer were here giving away a whole bunch of true renewal or true beauty, whatever it was. I just think it's funny that that sigh is just so dismissive of Jenna Lyons when Jenna Lyons is like literally, I mean, she's not like no one, you know, just starting up a brand. Well, yeah, just in general, an influencer like turning their nose up at branded gifts is hilarious. Yeah, I think it's so funny. And it's also idiotic. It's like, you're doing this for more followers, honey, so you can get honey. You see, I just pulled an ape who I thought was ape, because ape is still massaging in my head. Sorry.

But you are, you're like doing this show to get more followers as your influencer thing. Jenna is doing this to actually sell all the products that she's selling in her massive companies that you don't have. So like, you're a beggar, okay, and she is a seller. So please let's stop shaming. I know. Please let's stop shaming the winner in the room. You just look sad, and let's stop pretending

that you don't carry Tupperware around in your purse to take home the free shit everywhere you go because you're an influencer and you live off free shit. Yeah, and I fully recognize Jenna Lyons of 2023 is not the same Jenna Lyons of 2015 or 2012. Like, I get that, but I still feel like she's more established. I also feel like Jenna does have this awkwardness, and she, you know, I don't know if she knows really how to connect with people. And so it's, to me, it was like, this is just her gesture. Like, this is how she thinks that it's

supposed to be done. And I don't know, I thought it was just like pretty ungrateful. She's giving, she is doing the, like I'm plugging myself and I'm giving everyone my product, but they all do that. That's what they do. Yeah. I mean, so you're basically holding a bag called the only reason I came on this stupid fucking show. Okay.

That's the reason is to show all of her products. Why the hell else do you think she's here? Let the woman show her stuff, okay? Then you can go back to your office and show off your fucking fendee. And they also all kiss Jenna's ass because she is the most famous of them and she's the most established in the world of fashion.

And then when Jenna then gives, like they're kissing her ass because they wanna get the perks of that friendship and then Jenna's giving them the perks and they're like, ew. And it's like, well, why are you kissing your ass? You know that's what you're gonna get out of it. You're gonna get Jenna Lyons product.

Well, and then what she says here is, she's like, you know what, that's what I truly feel. Like, no matter how much, she's like, I love you, Hawa's unicorns. It's all about Jenna Lyons. I was like, oh yeah. You know, I mean, have you, she's still giving you free, she didn't have to give you

those lashes. You asshole. So anyway, at least she calls it out. At least she's not just a back talker, you know, like some behind your back talker. Yeah, she goes, oh, here it is. Jenna not lions, it's name on it bag. Wow, today's swag bag sponsored by Jenna lions.

And Jessal's like, wow, Jenna, all these old brand collabs. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Do you know, like, if, if, if, if this was like, you know, Jessica Gucci, whoever's of the Gucci family, if they're, if, any of them are even alive or in jail, but like, if it was Jess, if it was Jenna Gucci, and Jenna Gucci was like, by the way, I hear some stuff,

and it was all, you know, Gucci or Gucci by so and so,uchi was like, by the way, I hear some stuff and it was all, you know, Gucci or Gucci by so and so and Gucci collaboration with this Gucci Gucci Gucci they'll be like, oh my god, thank you so much. But it's like Jenna Lyons, they're like, ew gross. You're not a J crew anymore. You're no longer like a headhunt show. So this stuff is gross and steep and I hate it. And Brandon's like, I know that Jenna hasn't expect T-Shin and we're all going to share

on social. But I think she has an assumption or hope that we will. Oh, no, that would be terrible, especially like last week at that party where there were brands literally everywhere you were except nobody really said any, well, as Brent did say something about that. Or the party that you just had at Jussles' house,

which is just a basic brag for the camera about what a good PR person Jussle was by showing all those basic branded memes on TV. Come on you guys, drawing housewives, get over it. I don't know why this little moment at the end of the episode got me so mad. I just feel like it's so unfair to Jenna. I just like, you know what?

It's not a me. It's been, they're coming for like the big dog. I think that everybody is looking. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy.

I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy.

I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. aren't you mad? Aren't you going to get in a fight that Jussle was mean about the negligee and then she didn't, she didn't care. And now it's like, Jenna, you didn't come to the, you didn't come to the other party and spent time with your son instead and Brynn called you Jenna Lion. Lions like spelled like lying. And by the way, they cut that out of the

out of the show last week and they showed it in previews where Jenna supposedly went up to Brynn and said, did you really call me Jenna Lyon? They cut that out. And so that was going to start off. And so that was going to be cool. But then that didn't start a fight. And now you guys are going to try and come after swag bag. It just makes you guys look so thirsty. You're already looking, try hardy as we are.

Like you don't need to try this hard. Jenna will go crazy in due time. Just wait for it to happen. You don't have to make it happen. It will happen. Yeah. So now the Reath Lady at least comes back. She's like, so has everyone doing over here

and they're all showing off their Reath. Brenn is oddly embarrassed about a Reath and I think her Reath looks lovely. So Brenn, you need to really have more reach esteem because it was a lovely reach. I was like, I thought it was great. Well, what was wrong with it? It had like nice little sort of thing on the side is,

I liked it. So then they're just like having fun. It's like happy holidays, and they're like, oh, you know what we should do? We should FaceTime Uba, because I think she's on our show. So they FaceTime, or her and she's like, Oh, what a wacky thing we're all doing.

Reese and I'm homesick. Oh, wacky women on FaceTime. Making COVID fun again, it's me, Ubaa. She goes, by the way, the most important question. Do you have food there today? And Brynn's like, come at the FaceTime by the way, the most important question. Do you have food there today? And we're like, come, put the face down by the food, the shower, and then they leave the phone staring at the food.

And Uva says, girl, I saw the food. I was actually happy I wasn't there. Terrible food. Oh, another one who I'm sure eats a ton. And just making food their central story time. There was like, smoke salmon, bagels, oh, disgusting. Where it's kind of coconut milk.

So then we get a still coming this season on Wheelhouse Fives of New York. God, did you really say that? That was so rude. That was so rude. How you did that? Still coming on really, isn't it? Like how you did that? Really?

That's how you wrote Jenna. Jenna. So Jenna doesn't want to fly coach. Really? But I think it's gonna be a short season because Andy just last night on Twitter put out the solicitation for questions for the reunion. So I'm gonna assume this is gonna be probably about like a 12 episode season.

I think we just finished what episode seven? So I'm gonna say 12 episodes. I'm sure it was like smaller season because they were testing things out. That's my prediction. You get that one during the make five more episodes. Very important. All right, everybody.

Well, thank you for listening to this very special two part Real Housewives of New York City. Very special. It was very, very special. Thank you everyone for listening to both parts. It was, you know, we, it was a special time for us to record it. And I was a special time, hopefully, if you do listen to it because happy holidays, am I right?

Thanks everyone. We're obsessed with you guys. We're obsessed. Bye. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Know your worth with Jason Kurt. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itch-o-s. Aaron McNickless. She don't miss no trickle-o-s. She's never scary. It's the green fairy.

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