Watch What Crappens - RHONY: All I Want For Christmas Is Legal Protection

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Countess Luann has decided to create a VERY original Christmas song, and she's invited all the girls to sing some lyrics. What could go wrong? It's another classic Real Housewives of New York epsiode. Be sure to watch our recap with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/54228511Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's what happens

Who's what happens Who's what happens Watch what happens Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who's what happens Who's what happens Who cares what happens Hello and welcome to Watch for Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, you can also find me on the Game Brain podcast.

If you like board games, you can go check that out. Also, if you like Star Wars, you should check it out because one of the ghosts is writing the new Star Wars movie. How crazy is that? That's insane. And joining me is the one and only Ronnie Caram who is writing a Star Wars musical that he does not

have the rights to, but will be better than anything anyone's ever seen. I'm just assuming that right Ronnie Luke I'm your daddy You would make a very good Star Wars musical I firmly believe that So I can't keep up with Star Wars. It's too much like oh my dad Everybody's like crying about daddy issues. It's like an episode of Real Housewives from New York City. Okay. That's so funny.

You mentioned that because today we're talking of Real Housewives of New York City. And also today it's a crap and on demand episode. So that means if you go to Patreon and you support on the crap and on demand level, you don't just get to hear our lovely voices. You get to see our lovely faces. And so hi, look, I'm wearing my big brother t-shirt, my big brother 10 t-shirt that I got for free because I answered trivia when I went to a taping of big brother 10 back 10,

you know, 10 or 11 years ago. And Ron has got... Fasting me on stuff. Yeah, but Ron has got a feel around my shoulder, my little angel on my shoulder. Yeah, and you got the wasa matter what's happening, what's going on? Or, I'm sorry, wasamatta what's going on? What's happening in T-shirt? Which I wore recently and like, I've had this T-shirt

for about two years now, but I wore it and one day it was like everyone stopped me and was like, hey, Wassamatta what's going on? What's happening? I like that. Like everyone said it, there was something about I think just us being closer to way in quarantine for a year that all of a sudden people were like, wait a second.

Wow, I'm noticing shirts now. You know? Quarantines really changed me, I go out and I actually pay attention to things. I read t-shirts and look into people's eyes. I'm a new person. Yeah, by the way, you can get that t-shirt, I believe we have it for sale still,

at crappensmerch.com. It is. It looks like we're only selling masks because I put that on the front page of our store. But who needs masks anymore besides everybody again? We should make like Delta Burke masks for the Delta variant. Just have Delta Burke quotes. Totally. Come into it.

Wayla! Anyway, but yeah, there's other stuff. I'm gonna make some merch this weekend, I think. I'm gonna take some time and make some new merch. It's been a long time. I'm thinking of making us a Shalma Dia shirt. Maybe a Mary Time Law shirt. Oh yeah.

Making some characters for some crappin' characters that we haven't really ever seen. So, maybe I'll do that. Well, I was thinking about making a t-shirt. Maybe I that. Well, I was thinking about making a t-shirt. Maybe I'll, maybe I won't. I was thinking about making a t-shirt that said, I fuck John John and a wig want, because we got a lot of response, and we just sort of casually said that.

And we got a lot of people who said, oh my god, please make a t-shirt out of that. So I mean, who are we to deny a t-shirt? Opportunity, right? So I might make that. I might make it a little bit more PG, so that way people can wear it in public. But you know. Yeah, a lot of, yeah, it's's tricky because a lot of them are funny, but people are like,

I'm not wearing that. Why would I wear that? I would love for myself. I mean, people I teach at a school. Okay, I'm not gonna wear a I fuck John's on in a wigwomps shirt. I mean, I get it. It's kind of funny to think anyone wearing that in public and just yeah, the looks that you would get, like wait, what is that t-shirt? Yeah, even my haybatch shirt, people look at me like, oh, disgusting. But you know, I'm in Texas T-shirt. There's a lot of Bible-thumpy people

who don't like batch, I guess. Yeah. But anyway, guys, the point is, today is Real Housewives of New York. Okay. We're here. Someone says the word black around Ramona. So we get to watch Ramona go crazy. Okay, why the cuz?

Yeah, okay, we're gonna be red purple pink yellow guy. Yeah, why is that? To be black? Why do we have to put it? I don't know. Okay, yeah, not only do we get Ramona getting triggered by the word black associated with Shabbat, but also we get hilarious. Luan decides to make a Christmas song that in no way sounds like any other super famous Christmas song that's out there. Lyrically or not at all. Not at all. Not at all. I wish not for too much this holiday.

for too much this holiday. There's just one number less than two things that I want. Ha ha. Yeah, this is very Mariah scary, this whole version. I wonder if Mariah watches the show and how mad she's gonna be. You can't just be stealing a Christmas song. It's a very famous Christmas song, people. Like a full on, a full on stealing it

Yeah, like not even trying to make something new. Yeah, just straight up Mariah Carey's all I want for Christmas is you And of course if you're putting nose that's our friend Walter who wrote that song. Okay, well very very famous Walter and Katie who are They once a year they they they become the crappers which is our in-house band for the crappy awards. Walter actually wrote all I want for Christmas is you back in the 90s. But I don't know, maybe he's maybe he's got some healthy competition from Billy Stritch these days. Who knows? I mean, this could take off. It could be you. Billion Bruce could be you. Billion Bruce. Coming for you. For Bruce.

For Billy Stritch, just paying that rent. Everyone's like, what the hell is Billy Stritch doing on this show? He's paying his rent. That's what he's doing. Okay. It's why, it's why, what's that fancy actress that makes me crazy Laura. Lini. Laura Lini, yes.

It's like when she's in a fancy movie and she goes on, watch it, crap ends and it's like, well, you know, I took on this role because I could really sink my teeth. It's like shut up, Laura. Leneath King Kong or whatever that movie was. Okay, the point is real house south of New York and Billy's stretch is stolen from Mariah Carey Yeah, it's good episode. So it opens up with We're the boxing place with Martin, who again, I think I said last time, I'm just not in love with Martin the way I think Bravo is. I don't find him to be like that interesting or funny,

but he's just sort of, he's just sort of there. I love Martin. How dare you? I don't know, I don't really, I don't get much from him. Well, he want me to read you a really funny Instagram that Martin did today. Yes. So Martin's one of those people who's like, I'm at the cast of Real House, I was in New York City.

Like, I'm sure his, he's like listed as a real housewife somewhere because he talks very actory about being in the show. Okay. He's taken this picture with Sonia and Ebony at the boxing ring, of course. Also, he's got maybe fillers. I'm not sure what he's doing with his face. Okay, so it says, I'm in all of these women,

starting with the ever-amazing McSweeney for whom I would go through hell and back to these two gems right here and all the other great women on the show. I'm Miss Dinsdale. Honestly, any guy who insists she give up your career for him is a dick, drop him, he's not for she give up your career for him is a dick. Drop him. He's not for you.

I hope she comes back on the show. I never met the Rindon person, but without a personality, that show's not the same. Luan's incredible. Ramona's a rock star, even though I think she still hates me for reasons I'm not at liberty to discuss, because of some legal agreement I signed in haste. Like the ones you signed every time you download an app. I love Pr haste. Like the ones you signed every time you download an app. I love Prashawn, I didn't meet Heather,

and I'm thankful for that, cause I don't like backstabbers. If you're gonna apologize for being a racist, don't turn your me a copa into a wea copa. You fucked up, we didn't own a girl. These other women are all legends. This was a tough season. I've been in the boxing business for 40 years,

and I know a thinker too about tough. This was tough. But we went out there and did our best every time. Years from now, people will look back on this season and marvel. The world is changing. It's not always easy. So fuck easy. We knew Yorkers. If we wanted easy, we moved to Miami. We stay. Doesn't matter if you're black, white, straight, gay, this gender, that gender, when none of the above and all of the above. When New Yorkers, it's cool, it's only preaching when you don't want to listen.

So listen, went to that episode. I have these ladies to see who can Haka look at the furthest. I may have breached some confidentiality agreement, but honestly, I don't give a fuck. I'm my winning Emmy. Boom! Drop.

Wow, my kids just walks off. That is the most martinie monologue I would ever expect. Martins Oscar speech. That is like the equivalent of like that friend you know who gets like one line in a movie or is like an extra and then post a million photos from the set on Instagram and then like that's a selfie with the director and says it was such an honor working with Steven Spielberg. It's like you were an extra Like when Danielle did that hustler in the beast or whatever that thing that

documentary on Hulu West about Eric exchange. And she's like, oh, I, you know, I don't know, Erica, but we've worked together on the television. So watch what happens live. Yeah, when people just elevate themselves, but that being said, I actually did really like that monologue from Martin. I think there was a lot of truth in it and I'm really intrigued to know what sort of strange app that Ramona tricked Martin into signing a contract for What did he sign from Ramona? They got him into trouble that he's not at liberty to talk about that's what I want to know about are you sure?

The age list by Ramona can record your conversations advertising purposes agree by Ramona can record your conversations that advertise purposes of I agree I agree I want you to write the new Ramona Wars movie okay but you have to sign an NDA okay an NDA okay look I was your father but I was really being the okay it's now gonna take this piece of link we need I'm gonna take this piece of link. We need I'm gonna throw it May the force and also some vodka in a wine glass with ice and mint and cucumber be with you. Okay Why are we never gonna start this episode? We're both having a day today, okay, it's not ever gonna start. I am tired. Listen, this is one of those days I have a headache from allergies and I'm tired and when I'm just like in this day, you just I'm just now like I'm just I'm just I feel like I've been pummeled like Martin like the way Martin was pummeled by Ramona when he violated her

Martin, like the way Martin was humbled by Ramona when he violated her NBA. I'm not tired. I'm just no wacky mood. Okay, let's go on everybody. Let's start this episode. Box it. We start with Martin. Got it. Okay. So, so Ebony shows up and she tells Martin that her grandma died and, you know, she died at 87. He's like, how old are you? And she says she's 37. And she's like, wow, I thought you had 20 something. So she's like, well, you know, black don't crack. And you know what else doesn't crack?

The weather, we got that coming up in five minutes. Thanks so much, everyone. Well, what does crack is our crack team of reporters who are outside the Mall of America right now John back to you So then Luanne is getting ready in like those pink writing pants like horse writing pants and There's someone at the door. We think it's someone very sexy because the man stops before she opens the door and just looks near me and like oh yeah Still got it. They make sure my signature shag is in place I wouldn't want Bethy to steal the wrong look you know what I'm saying

But it's just Ramona. I'll be birthday Ramona. Well, thank you for remembering Gay you what started celebrating last night with my best friends last twin daughter Every guy we were at the brinna celebrating last night with my best friend's last twin daughter. Hey, guy. We were at the Bernabella. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, whatever, never mind. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Does every housewife just live in an apartment that fucking stinks because housewives lately are obsessed with candles making them selling them Having them in their homes

If you've all never heard of the breeze plugins, okay, you're gonna start a fire. That's thank you. Thank you for Your laundry yet. Yeah, do your laundry and I get rid of your stinky apartment And you know it and you know it if you have a fire in the Hamptons and you're close to Billy Jolie. No, he's gonna say We didn't start the fire Ramona did oh It's his least favorite song by the way just read that in article yesterday That's probably what was top of mind he said he does not want to ever perform that song again So sorry, well, I don't want to ever want to hear it again

So hey at least we agree on something Billy Joel. It's literally a song written by Ramona by the way At least we agree on something Billy Joel. It's literally a song written by Ramona by the way Jfk blowing away. What else to say? Okay, we didn't start the fire We do start fire It's been words okay, it's it Like if you listen to those lyrics, I don't have the lyrics accessible because I was not planning to talk about this right now But if you really think back that song is totally like Ramona just like reading headlines. It's like Ramona trying to say La Bernadam for two and a half minutes.

Oh my God. So, Luan's like, well, you know, Ramona, sometimes you have to give up control and let a friend do a party for you. You know, I know you like her, 50 girlfriends. I'm just like, whoa, you know, I know you like her, 50 girlfriends. I'm sick. Whoa, you know what? I don't know which have 50 girlfriends. Sometimes I have four, six, five, 10, 12.

It's like, okay. She's just using random numbers. 15, one, 45, 16. You were watching Bingo last night. We're in your Ramona. Whoa, 45, okay. JFK, blow it away. What else to say, Lian? I also like that she says, you know what?

I usually celebrate for a month, because I'm like, I really love celebrating my birthday, okay? I usually celebrate for a month. Hey, we're in COVID, so I just wanted to downplay it. You down, you downplayed it because she's acting like she just decided that it would be the right thing to do. It's like, no, it's December in New York City. You can't get more than three people together.

Yeah. So then, Luann's like, well, we'll keep it small intimate. I have a very nice surprise for you. Rhymes with Herelin Hanro impersonator. It's gonna be amazing. Romana. It's like, you know what? Thank you so much for doing this for me because you know what? I'm not used to receiving guy because I give I give the people so nicely giving to me like I give to people. Guy, when? So hard of being such a good person. I give so much inspiration to people inspiring them to give me Chanel bag. Okay, I just give so much. Yeah, what do you give invitations to send you $100 on Venmo to buy a new purse? What do you give? Maybe something please. And the A's the Martin. So now Sony is coming to the boxing ring and Ebony still saying black don't crack. I guess to give us some continuity between the scenes.

Like well, black still doesn't crack. So thank you. Mark, it's like, did you ever hear the term black dope crack so-and-yep? It's like, yes. Well, blonde stew crack. Our skin is sensitive and ready. And it cracks. And Mark's like, well, I'm'm gonna make you insensitive, okay?

And he's gonna say he starts talking about his and get to her face because that's how she's gonna grow And she's like well, you know last time last time we talked about not being a doormat So I'd like Luanna Ramona's house. I was a little snippy. Mm-hmm. I was a little snippy She talks about how like the women aren't really like they can't deal with the fact that she's speaking up these days now, you know It's not's speaking up these days now, you know It's not you're speaking up It's your screaming and physically attacking people and breaking things in hotels Let's not make it like oh, I just stood up for myself No

Just standing up for yourself, although I appreciate the effort that you made in that and appreciate the scene So Ramona and Lou back to Ramona and Lube, uh, Ramona's like, you know what I'm so glad we talked to Sonya even if you said we had to, you know, even if you said it and I'm worried that I just help my brother and I can't help Sonya. So now I'm tricking because I didn't help my brother but I helped Sonya but I'm also very giggling. You know what? I couldn't help my brother at a two-top, a four-top, a ten--top, 14-top, sometimes a ten-top, okay? Yeah, and so she's worried that that Sonia's gonna have an accent way her brother did and the man's like, oh, is that how he passed away? And she says that basically, and I know him on. Have you ever heard of a little book called Life on the Ramona Coaster?

Hello? Was that a dress in that? I a coaster? Hello? Was that a dress in that? I think so. She talked about her brother and stuff because I told you I did like some stand up thing one time and I thought oh I'll just read from a real housewives book and character. I thought that would be so funny. But unfortunately I did not read the book before I got on stage and started reading it. It's really sad and depressing. It's like, well, you know what? Here's what the abuse started. And I was like, oh no! And the audience was just looking at me like,

what a fucking monster. Because I'm up there like doing full-on Ramona. Reading this terrible abuse. Oh, I'm so sorry. My alarm was like, stop. You're putting yourself in that situation again. I'm not just doing it all over. I'm not just doing it all over.

Well, I also just am like, if someone says, well, you know, my brother died in an accident, you just sort of, I feel like especially on camera, you just sort of let that sit there. And you're like, okay, she's, she sort of, she doesn't want to go into details, or I just keep me kind of big. And when I was like, oh, if that how we passed away, oh, really? I'm like, why are you?

This is obviously going to be a painful moment for her. But so, but Ramona says that her brother basically crashed into a tree and she thinks that he was on something and she feels helpless like she did with her brother and the man goes, well, I mean, I said, I said to Sonia, I mean, the guests were in the hallway, in the hallway. They could have called security, and the police could have been there. I mean, it scares me to think that she, who was doing way more than her I ever was.

I mean, I was just a cabaret star who got off at the wrong floor and was so involved in her phone. She couldn't look up at her surroundings. He went up at the wrong room, and then accidentally locked herself into a bathroom and got hauled away by police. I mean, Sonia was doing so much more than that. She could have wound up in all catralls Yeah, I remember this like yeah, you think they have the way and she's like oh well in a hotel

Yes, I mean I've been in a hotel. That's all I have in common with Sonya But you know what? Don't get in your breath. Oh getting your breath being stopped and asked for my autograph Yes, I have been there.. Put your point Ramona. What is it? And then of course they just roll the footage of the cops shoving the van into the car and don't touch me. So then, long as it just takes one night. One night only.

One night only. To become a star, am I right? What are we talking about again? And I am telling you, I'm not going off the soon, I get your hands off me. We are a family, and you embarrass me, Ramona, as my family member. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife.

And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder how. So Ramona's like, well, you know what? Obviously, Sonia is not passing something. Okay. Where she would go to professional. And so then we go to back to Abani at the gym and Sonia.

And so Ebani is asking, so, you know, what's your dad's story with your mom? And she's saying, well, they love each other and it was very romantic, but there was just so much pressure from the family, you know. She was a city bank and he was a check-catching store type and those things just don't mix, you know. They broke up. They had a lovely union, it was a Western union, but you know it just wasn't compatible, you know I'm saying. So Martin's like, well I didn't so did you see your father, she's like, well no I didn't see you know what my mom, his mom invited me to come live with, I didn't so did you see your father. She's like, well, no, I didn't see no my mom His mom invited me to come live with her because well, why don't you see your father as well, you know He was a player. No, he was a dick. He was a fucking dick. Okay. You got that shit go

Yeah, good for you Martin and he's like what your father did has nothing to do with you at all She goes, oh no, it doesn't well. I feel like that's why I'm such a comedian though. I mean, from that pain, that's what makes me special. Only so, yeah. So, you know, it's like a mad at revelations that can help her in her life. I know. Because she just wants to be a good bit cap-a-ray player every once, every couple of years.

She wants to keep her trauma fresh, that way she can still be funny. So, Martin's like, no, use those things to build on. Okay, you need that experience so you can get ready for this moment right now. Okay. For the war you're fine right now, the war, the war is happening right now, right here in this ring right now. New York is stay. And he's like, let it out. Fuck that guy. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. And everyone is like, wow, Sonia really took this part and shit to heart. She's standing up for herself.

Could she be more balanced? Yes. Could she be more fair and balanced? Probably not. Wush! To not. Laura Ingram, mixed fart jokes about Joe Biden coming up next. Thanks for being here.

By the way, Evany is wearing, she's been, for a few weeks now, she's been wearing something in her interviews. It's like a green puffy thing that I forgot the brand. Is that Gucci? I don't know. It has like the G's or whatever that are in it. But I have this issue where to me it looks like a big winter fleece. Every time I see I'm always like, why are you wearing a winter fleece during your interview

scene? Like I don't like actually ask that, but it always strikes me as that, and for some reason it drives me absolutely nuts. Yeah, she is dressed like she's like waiting at a bus stop. Like in the winter. She's like a new hamster, like she just went to the LB and now let her do something.

You just want to show off your nicest clothes, no matter how fucking hot you are the whole time. She's like sweating like, oh god, I love this jacket. No. I love this fleas. It's so comfortable. I don't know why it annoys me so much.

I didn't even notice that, but that's so true. Well, I think it's also just the way it's, that's the angle. I'm sure if you saw like the whole top, it doesn't look like a fleas, but since we only see the top, it just reminds me of so many fleas that I saw growing up in the Northeast. It's just very funny to me. If you only see the top, it just reminds me of so many fleas that I saw growing up in the Northeast. It's just very funny to me. Just really make some good fleas observational comedy guys. So then when you see a problem with fleas and you don't say something, you're doing damage

to everyone around you. The fleas thing of America, as Tom Broca would say. I now welcome back to our one on one with Ebony K Williams and Sonia Morgan. Evan Sonia, your daddy broke your heart. I'm working to find the answer to my father's story because I have some broken heart and this too. I'm not going to lie to you. I do have it. I've been talking to Ashley, the young woman who thinks we're sisters. We're going to a blood test. And after the commercial break, we will be opening the results together.

At which point I will call her dear many times. So she does. She talks to her sister the same way she talks to service people. You know how she's always like, dear, can you open this wine for me dear? Thank you. What's your name again? Joanne, thank you dear. Could you open this please? Thank you so much So now we go back to Luana Ramona. Oh, by the way, I just got a piano. Did you notice? I just got a piano

I don't know what that for some reason that line cracked me up like I've got it like I don't know why the idea of Luan just have it like just I have a piano now everyone it's official I like music did you notice I'm sure the neighbors are in love with that piano Luan so make your chopsticks right so Billy was here they've been practicing the Christmas song because I've been working on a Christmas song with my musical director Billy Stritch. Everyone's gonna come here and sing their line to make it easy. It's Christmas week. We'll have a party and we'll do a video. Yeah, and you know we have this we create this song that's really wonderful it goes what do I want for line

So Ramona's like well, so it's gonna be an uplifting song Okay, what wait? I've got an idea And uplifting song where you don't sing the way I guy you know what maybe it's just a song where you're talking Okay, I'm talking song. They should really invent songs where people just talk instead of sing Yeah, yeah, I would take the world by storm. Yeah, like, you know what, you could just like read headlines. You could be like Harry Truman, Dore's day, red, China, Johnny, great, South Pacific, Walter, which will joke to match.

Okay, Ramona, we got it. We got it, Ramona. Diet Coke in a can, I had dinner at the... Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Can we see it? Matt the deal, Tia, quarter pounded with some cheese, Try it, Coke in a can, I had dinner at the... BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM and a special order stone upset us. All we ask is that you let us have it your way. Yeah, I always remember the first part, I can never remember the last part. The last part.

Big Macmity. Wow, I can't believe I ever caught that. There's a hamburger or she's bigger, a happy meal McDonald's, it's a golden french fries regular and large size. And then that's usually where I peter off. There's something about a salad in there. Man, I can't believe I'm really getting old

and I forgot the lyrics to that. There's a whole generation of that. I'm really getting old that I forgot the lyrics to that. There's a whole generation. I'm leaving this recap now. Bye. Of course, there's always a generation not knowing what the fuck we're talking about. We're old people with a podcast. Okay. We're like, next up, we're going to talk about Ramona and Arbonions.

By the end of this episode, we will have all the lyrics down to the McDonald's song and we didn't start the fire. I promise you that okay Jocelyn melancholy Nazarem coffee y'all Hold the pickles hold the lettuce special orders don't upset us that's it Do I know that's a quote hold the special orders

Hold the- Man, she- She's- She's- She's-'re beautiful. I don't even know how to act. I mean you are beautiful I was going to say thank you sister, but it means something new now So I can't just casually say sister anymore because you might actually be my sister The joke by the way, that was a joke for everyone sister. It'll play on the sister joke sister So anyway, I appreciate you Ashley dear for coming on this journey with me And I realized a little bit of family. I have a dwindling and before it's too late I want to make an effort to see if I have additional family out there And yeah, so then they start talking about this guy Kenneth who is her dad or dad like or or most likely to be her dad and

or dad like or most likely to be her dad and Ashley's most likely to be her dad. And then Ebony's talking about this guy and basically he's just like a schmuck and he didn't show up. He was gonna go to her graduation, didn't show up, and then she went to law school and he was gonna help her move, either move out of law school or move in

and he did like one load of moving, and he's like, okay, I'll be back. I'll come back with the second load. And just like, whatever. And just like that. Just never came back. Like that. Like that guy.

It's bad enough to abandon your child, but abandon your child mid-move? No, no. That's good. Yeah, seriously. So then, they talk about how Ruffet was growing up with out of dad. And Ashley's like, yeah, I mean, it was actually embarrassing, you know, and she's like, yes, well, I believe it cursed me with men, dear. I believe it does.

She goes, yeah, fuck yeah, we have great trust issues, you know. And so, um, Ebony decides that she wants to meet this lady anyway, because she really likes her. And she's like, okay, well, here's what I'm gonna do for you, dear. I'm going to identify a facility that you can attend. That's what, that's, that's convenient for you, dear. Okay? Be safe, dear. There's a chance it might be a Massachusetts

and it may be a garden nearby, so there may be some dear, there safe here. There's a chance it might be a Massachusetts and it may be a garden nearby, so there may be some deer there, deer, but. But hopefully the lawn has been mowed by a John Deere deer. Oh, no, I'm sure there are widely roads, so please be careful how you steer. It might be deer deer. Okay. Don't set a deer, do not set a tear dear do not said that

Words I I I would we wouldn't be sisters if we didn't sit down and watch some figure skating You know how much I love Johnny weird here Wow wow, I'm telling you I'm not working on all capacity that Find a very simple rhyme with you. I'm like it's a weird working on all capacity that I have to go to a strange place to find a very simple rhyme with deer. I'm like, it's a weird hold to dig in the first place. Sometimes, I feel like, in some ways I feel like we're peers, but in some ways I feel like we're more than deer's here. So we go to deer Irving. Let's go to deer. Deer. Now we're going to somewhere actually with deer in the title of the restaurant.

Is it? Deer Irving. Yeah. Now we're going to somewhere actually with deer in the title of the restaurant. Is it? Deer Irving. Oh yeah. You're absolutely none of that. Be careful how you steer. There might be deer, deer. Make sure those roads are clear deer. I'm on my way to deer.

Never fear deer. Never fear the deer deer. Cause I can steer deer. I think I'm gonna drink some gear at deer. Deer. Okay. I can drive like Johnny Weir, deer. I'm like a fan Johnny Weir and I'm sticking to Johnny Weir, deer.

Okay, so deer. What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude?

What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? What are you doing on that, dude? manager comes up and the one's like wow amazing so many glory holes on the wall Billy's gonna love it if you told me I'd be planning a party for Mona's birthday and that I've already done a scene a not-song happy birthday just once I'd say you're crazy but here I am planning Mona's birthday I mean there's always so much drama around Ramona's birthday drama around Ramona and Sonya's birthday

I thought you know what I'm gonna throw the party. There'll be no drama whatsoever I won't wound up yelling it wind up yelling at anyone at this birthday drama free So me out comes and She's like wow, hi, those places are amazing are those glory holes love that? Because there's just like big circles and all the walls. And so Luan's like, alright, well I'm planning this party. Amanda, here's the plan. I was thinking that in this room we can party and in this room, but right over there we can do the cake.

I love when they act like they're actually doing something. It's a tiny room that you're gonna stand around and with six other people. I know, what a revolutionary idea that you're going to stand around and with six other people. I know. What a revolutionary idea that you'll have cake in one part of the room and maybe socialize in a different part, or maybe throughout the whole room. So Leah's going to take, is going to be in charge of the cake and everything.

And Leah also, she wants to know if she has to sign anything for the song that they'll be doing and Luanne goes, oh well, you know, I literally just lay down the track so you girl just come and come down and sing. I mean, I haven't thought about the part yet. By the way, Lisa Rena was in my last video. Jill Zare and was in my video. A woman who works at the Food and Poryam was in my video, so I'm just sort of saying if you If you have any concerns about about this you'd be in good company if you're in my video, so I know she's talking about it like

It's not their peers, you know, it's like the office softball tournament She's like well, you know who else is playing in this tournament the secretary, okay? You know who else is playing in this tournament? The secretary. Okay. You know who else is coming? Dawn from Accounting. So you're gonna, you want to be in this tournament? Yeah, she's basically saying like, don't even start with talking about fucking paperwork, because this is like the place to be if you're a star. I mean, Park overall, she's in it, her sister, Park under all, she's in it too.

Everyone really is in of T.C. Of course, you brought over fucking Park overall into this. I was just calling Bueller Park overall today. I was like, oh, we haven't talked about, we haven't talked about Park overall in a while. And here she is, I'm telling you. I'm like psychic for the dumbest, non-consequential thing some life.

Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm like, wow, it's gonna be cloudy later today. And it is, I'm like, wow, it's going to be cloudy later today. And it is. I'm like, oh my God, where do I win? You have, you can use the secret on getting a park overall, uh, mention on the podcast. I think that's really powerful. It is by the man off. Soon to follow people.

So anyway, Leah is saying how she's like, you know, just happy to donate her voice to this thing, but she just wants to be, have her bases covered covered legally and then she goes, oh, and by the way I saw that little article about you and Garth and there's like a big article in page six That Luad and her new boyfriend Garth and she's like, were you annoyed by that? And Leuand's like, I was annoyed by that. I mean, I mean, I was so I was annoyed by that. I mean, I mean, I was so angry that someone decided to write a whole article about me and my very robust love life. for a second, because at first she goes, well, I just wanna make sure my bases are covered legally. Like, are we protected with this song?

It's like, what is this mean Leah? Are you protected? It's a stupid fucking Christmas song. You're not ever gonna make any money. Be quiet with your release. Do the stupid things, stop being an idiot. But then when I heard the song, and it's actually a rip off song,

they could very well be sued for this song. So get your pay for work. This is Luanne we're talking about. We know for a fact that Walter saw this because Katie, Katie text us and was like, I made Walter watch this. So you know, you never know. You better watch out, Leah. You could be a Walter's crosshairs. Luckily, he's a very nice person. But I will do it though. You never know, Mariah could do it. Oh my God, that would be the most amazing thing if Mariah sued Leah McSweeney. If Mariah just got to complete that sued,

Leah and no one else associated with the song. So the man is talking about Garth and she's like, well, you know what, look, we had fun. It sizzled and fizzled. I mean His time Curry was good the first time, but let's face it. I had runs for a month He's out. You know, it was my own doing you know how I was talking to them and it just it's it's slipped out You know sometimes it's like talking to your girlfriend like you ever have that thing where you say hey girlfriend Oh, I got just got to talk to you. I have a new boyfriend and we're going hot and heavy

he makes a great lamb curry and man is he sexy we are pretty much an it item in the Hamptons oh you're not my girlfriend your page six oh how silly of me bye oh so she's like well I'm busy anyway I'm happy and I've got a new vibrator. And he's like, oh my god, me, tell. So then we go to the whan- She's sitting on her piano. Just presently. Just stomping on the keys with her feet

as she sits on the top section. It's like, oh, new vibrator. Wow, you really hit my G spot. G flat spot, more like it. So now, now, well, that's one way to learn. There's one sharpener G. So then we see a, we go to commercial and we come back. We see an image of an enormous nutcracker,

which I thought was, you know, that's always, that's always, it's like, it's like somewhere Beth and Indorinda are looking over the show. So what's the matter, what's happening? What's going on? It's Christmas time, okay? Who's gonna give me not cracker? I'm not on the show anymore, I was someone on not crack.

What's gonna do this? You know that Dorenda, because Dorenda just can't let shit go as we know. And you know that Dorenda, every time there's even like the not cracker ballet, she's like, that bitch, really? She's like, sister with the program. I'm like, oh really? Anybody giving me credit in here? Let's see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

no credit for the nutcracker. Fuck you. Fuck you, take out ski. Fuck you. The tchikowski right then that cracker. Hellsukkey. Tchikowski. Tchikowski. Tchikowski. But no, but I'm doing the Brooklyn version. Okay. Kowski. I went to school with the Kowski. Lidley family. Yeah, Kowski.

Well, you know, Kowski was in my video. I don't know if you know that, Leo. So I'm just saying, I know you want to do this. Quotal wrote paperwork, but all I've got to say is that Kowski didn't ask for paperwork when he appeared in my video. Just saying. What a trumpet player he was.

Real jazz man. He really should be called Chikovsky because he's not all. See what I'm doing there, Leah? This is called the creative process. God, so Billy Strich is over. And Brian, the sound engineer, is sending up in her living room and You know, he's like wow just made some lyrics sheet. She's like oh lyrics sheets

God I could sleep on those oh That's me all about music music music music at all times You know, I mean this would be so belie be able to work with two men in the industry who are just incredibly talented. I mean Bruce Roberts has worked with Barbara Strison and Donna Summer and you know Cynthia Bailey and Billy Stretch. I mean he's been with Liza for 25 years as her driver but still the point remains he knows a celebrity. Oh no Billy was married to Liza. He got a vodka bottle to the head in Malimo from Liza. Oh I thought that was a good time. David Gast. Oh, you know what, it probably, do I billy strip? No, billy, I mean, billy's been around for sure.

Mary, like Liza. I thought he was married to Liza. Did Liza? Billy's stretch. No, probably not. Liza Manelli's gale lover tells all. Piano man, Billy's stretch says. Wow.

Nope, they weren't married. God, I suck. I'm a the worst gay. Am I even allowed to be gay anymore? Did you see the lies in the Nelly pilot? For my 20 years ago, she shot a show with David Guest. That was gonna be on VH1. Remember when VH1 was doing all those celebrity couple shows?

And so she shot, she was gonna do a show with David Guest. And they only filmed one episode. And there were some, like behind the scenes, just a show with David Guest, and they only filmed one episode, and there were some, like behind the scenes, just Nightmare and David Guest was terrible, but there's one show, and it's on YouTube, and it's like absolutely amazing. Like, we are wrong. That we did not get more than one at one episode,

just because it's crazy. It's just like her, she has this big party, and it's just like, it's a who's who of random people of the year 2002 or 2003, like Kelly Rowland is there, but then all these Broadway people. I feel like Kelly Clarkson is there. It doesn't make any sense. It's so great.

I really recommend it to everyone this weekend. If you need some time, you just wanna see a really weird failed, so yeah. I'll tell you that yeah, that sounds good. It's hilarious. I can't believe this was filmed and David guests. I feel like I was teasing you. So David guests took the vodka bottle to the head.

That's who Billy Stritch was never married. Why is that? Sorry gay people, sorry lies. Well, I feel like I really boosted my gay cred by, you really did. By being like, I'm basically, I'm basically like, hang up, get on Tinder and look for some,

the join us. After this, you really should, I've officially given up my gay card. You should paint on a beard like David Guest too. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Okay, they've worked with so many gay icons. So Ramona comes over and Luana's like, huh, do you want me to take your coat? And which is how everybody likes to be greeted. Hey everyone, it's Ramona.

Oh, she takes her coat. And Ramona's like, well, I can't even wake up, Jeffrey, or great. I do, of course I do. I'm a shantoo's. Of course, I'm an elusive shantoo's, if you will. What was that Mariah Carey? Who? I'm not familiar. So, so Luan's like, well thank you for doing this. Well, of course, friends do things for friends, okay? Somebody even say women support women, but I'm going to take it to the friends friends, okay? Somebody even say women support women, but I'm gonna take it to the friends level, okay?

High-billy, he has a little longer. I kind of like it. It's a little sexy. You think I'm sexy? I wanna go on a date. You wanna go on a date? You wanna get married? Well, I'm not available. Get away from me, Billy. Stop making a Vans on me, okay? Well, you know what the other guy there? It's like quite because he's an engineer. Guy, you're hardly even feeling your presence. Okay, he's very handsome, though.

Okay, right, McTilly? It's not Bill. Yeah, guy. Hey, engineer, I know you can't hear me right now because you're too stupid to hear anything, but that engineer is very hot guy Whoa, where's your train? Okay, what sort of engineer is in an apartment and not on a train? I don't get it, okay So she goes you do it. I don't have a great voice

Okay, I did up until I was 12 and then my voice changed I mean, I remember it like it was yesterday I was sitting there and I was singing oh holy night and then my father's friend Joe Dean Parsmouth came in and said Oh holy night more like Oh awful night Stop singing usual terrible singers never sing again from this day. I've never been able to sing a song Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but that's my reality Files favorite song with we wish you shut the fuck up Christmas Ramona. Okay. So Ramona is like, you know what?

What do I want for- Oh, cause now they're doing the song, right? So it's like, don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't She's like, yo what I want for Christmas. Jassio! Billiots, okay, how about do a hold on, do a... But what do I want? But what do I want? No, but what do I want?

You know what? You know what I want? You know what I want? Nothing, really. No, no, that's not the lyrics Ramona So what do I want for Christmas? What do I want Christmas? Okay, cut we've got it print print we've got what is this song gonna sound like because he never makes anybody sing it correctly He's like okay, that sounds good Ramona just sing an entire verse about

He's just like, okay, that sounds good. Ramona just sang an entire verse about being the buyer at Marshalls before she realized she was never gonna age again and a fuck-dustrepper in the malley. Perfect. Sounds great. Brent, what do I want for Christmas? I want Santa to be less day-class sale, okay? Ramona, that's not even the lyric, Ramona. What? I want for Christmas? And it's gonna get diabetes.

It's it, okay? Torted. Can't eat like that in the forever. I don't wish for things for Christmas on the ocean, okay? Swirl. So Luham, then it cuts Luham. And she's like, Tune plays apart in every song.

I mean, let's face it. Am I right? Rolona, this is how you do it. Could someone turn the vacuum cleaner off and try to sing my line, Kay? What do I want for Christmas, ageless, Kay, ages by Ramona? And then she sings this random line where she goes, circle, link, the globe until we find the perfect meh.

And it really just goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So she finally leaves and then when I was like, by Ramona, are you exhausted Billy? He's like, oh no, not at all. She's just so good-natured. Okay? Like I hope Walter will be when he hears this song. Okay, next.

Like, do I want for Christmas just Coco? So then Sony arrives and she's like, oh Billy's here, oh good. I was love working with Billy. He's iconic and he makes you feel good and man when we fucked on that dinghy off of San Trope Wow, what a night. He's like that never happened Remember that time and Liza Manelli hit you in the head with a with a vodka bottle. So why does nobody know who I am? Hey, you got rid of your pencil on beer. That's great Wow, I love this they're a cure and diamonds and panties is like its parties not panties

So then no so this is I mean this is living like in Saturday night Live's get. And I say that knowing that I sound fully like my parents, because my parents say that all the time. Like, this could be on SNL. So Sonya's like, she goes, so what do I want for Christmas? But you, and he's like, just you. Okay. But what would I want for Christmas?

Just you, he's like, what do I want? What should I want for Christmas? Some Jews? No, that's-no, you're going farther away. What kind of car do I like? Dunkin' donuts. What do I want for Christmas? There needs to be a comma here, Billy.

What do I want for Christmas? But comma, you? Question mark. Is there a way to get that in here anybody you your turn so then his Evan is turn and she's really nervous she's like Luana asked for this shit I hope they're not looking for Whitney because this ain't it okay coming up I'm gonna try my hand at the Christmas song yeah coming up at six I will be singing all right So and this is why you know, I don't know that Ebene is long for this world on this show because

Everyone else is a complete disaster and Ebene is just like what do I want for Christmas? It's you. Okay, thanks Okay, bye everybody It's you okay, thanks. Okay, bye everybody She doesn't perfectly in leaves also at some point we have to all acknowledge that this song is in addition to being a ripoff of all I want for Christmas is you it's also rip off of the nation-wide the jingle nation-wide is on your side Christmas time is on your side Kay, you, but is it Ramona? Is it really? So Luana, so then Leah comes and she's like, I'm really happy to do this, but I'm ambivalent

because I need a contract. So she comes in, by the way, does this girl ever go on podcasts? Like, did she ever do anything? I feel like these people do this everywhere they go. It's like musical chairs at the church fundraiser and Lee is like, I need a contract for this. Well listen, I get it because my dad is a lawyer,

so when you are, I don't know if her parents are lawyers or not, but when you have a parent who's a lawyer, like literally everything that you do, it's like you should get that in writing, you should get that in writing. I'm only going to like, I'm going to Carvel. Well, are you getting an ice cream cone? Yes, get that in writing.

I'm like, you know, so I get like when you have someone in your ear being like, you know me, this is, if it's gonna be sold, you should protect yourself. So I actually really understand this a lot. And it's funny though that she brought it up on camera. I feel like they don't talk about legal things on camera. So it is kind of funny that was mentioned on camera, which is why I think Lou Ann was really pissed. But she's like, so I did speak to my attorney

earlier and I just want to be clear on like, who owns this song and how does it get distributed and like God forbid a track was sampled without permission. Like, don't have any lion villainy. And Billy's like, no, no, listen, the track was written by Bruce and I on the back of a napkin as a joke and actually Lewand fell for it. So like literally don't worry about it, we're gonna publish it,

we're not even gonna put our names on it, to be honest. We're just gonna be on Lewand. He's like, it's totally original, which is a lie. And so Lewand's like, oh God, now we're talking, there she's talking about this in front of my producer. Does she not know who Donna Summer is? This is embarrassing. So she's like, listen, well, everything I'm making goes to fortune, the

ladies, the ladies charity. And it goes to them forever. All right, Leah, but forever, she's's like, but how how does that work? She goes, but you don't need to know the details of my deal with fortune You know what I'm saying and if you don't want to do it there are plenty of girls who do want to do it They're lined up the street is lined up with girls who want to do it And if no one else has asked that about the song except you because guess what they don't give a shit those girls are hungry Those girls are hungry for what I'm about to give them Hold on one second. I'm getting a phone call from the girl who played the older sister. I'm Mr. Belvedere

Hello, no, unfortunately there are no more slots in the song. I'll have to get back to you See that's what I'm saying Leia. It's a hot ticket. So we're either seeing or get moving. Am I right? And Leia's like, but I do care so sorry She's well listen. There's not a lot of money in this business, honey. And she's like, well, but I still, I mean, you're donating the proceeds to fortune. So, there is some money in it, which is what I'm saying. And I love that Leah is also trying to be like, oh, I'm gonna get money down the line from this Christmas song. No, you're some backup singer on a Christmas song.

No, you're not gonna get me money. I don't know, but I think that Luann's responses were actually not comforting whatsoever. If I came in being a little concerned because I've watched real housewives shows before and watch how friendships get into like hot water over what seems like a benign thing and then it turns into a whole whole thing. Look at candy and Kim's old siaq. You know and you're just like hey I just have some questions and the wands response says well I don't have to tell you how I donate my money. I mean look I mean there is no this this isn't gonna even earn a cent to be able to begin with. This is gonna earn lots of money

for charity and yet it won't earn a cent at all. I mean so like I can imagine Lee had been like what the fuck is this woman saying now now I've it actually seems shadier now, right, which is perfect, right? And so the answer response is always stupid and defensive right? It doesn't need to be but that aside Luans idiocy aside you're coming and the candy and Kim's all-seic thing is different because that was an actual song that can be wrote and produced for Kim that Kim was a star of and sold and didn't give candy to the money. That's different than being like, hey, you want to do a silly thing where the house swaps from the house swaps show, each come and sing one little line in my Christmas song.

You know, so why don't you make Zillions of dollars? I wouldn't be like, where's my money? It's just like a little cameo you pop in. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think that like Leah, as someone who actually owns a business, business owner, okay. But she owns a business and she is, I think it's probably pretty common,

that she is encountering these situations with licensing or whatever. And I just don't think it's a crazy thing to ask. And I, I mean, I agree. I think it's like a nothing, just to, just sing the track. But I don't think it's a crazy thing to ask. And I, I mean, I agree. I think it's like a nothing, just do, just sing the track, but I don't think it's a crazy thing to ask. And Luanne's response is, don't do anything to like assure her like, oh, don't worry, it's fine. She gets so defensive. Yeah, you could, you know, you could just download some easy thing off legal zoom. It's like, like I did, I just did, like a guest thing last year, like on a podcast, and they had me do a full-on release.

Like a two-page release. That's crazy. It's like, we can use your face, we can use your this, we can use your, you cannot disparage us. You know, and that was like over some silly little thing like a year ago, so who knows? And you just sign it. Those make me more uncomfortable, honestly. Because it's like, what are you gonna put my face on?

It's like a white rain commercial. Like, white rain just came out with a brand of condoms. Ronnie's picture is on it, or whatever. Anyway, though, it was a silly and of course, Lou Ann. It wasn't it. Yeah, we're gonna do it again. You can know Bonka's say, okay, okay. I don't know. So Lou Ann's like, well, okay. Hi, phone. Hi.

So, Lewandz, I, well, I mean, if you're so worried about it, then have your attorney contact my attorney because I just don't know the answers to the questions that you're asking. And Billy's like, look, Leah, basically, it's a donation. You're donating your time, and nobody is gonna be coming to you for anything. It's for charity.

And she's like, well, that's literally all I'm asking. Thank you, belly. Thank you. Yeah. And she's like, I just want you to be happy to do it. And as they hug, again, it's like, I just want to protect myself. If you don't think, if you don't think,

you got your back, guess what? I got your back, okay? And as anything seem more reassuring and comforting than a Luan Deliceps seal of approval that I have your back okay now get out of my apartment I would kill for you she says um so she's like I mean it's like we're having a Christmas party and she walks right in and turns the music off. Yeah. And so, so now Leah does her thing. What do I want for Christmas? Just, you know.

All right, if this makes $5 million, I want to cut. Okay. That was brilliant, so I'm going to get a cut of this. So then we go to Ramona's birthday party at Irving And Hank is terribly man's gay. He's like, hi, hi, we are It's like kind of a male Heather. Yeah, oh, you know, I have this but you know, Hank is like one of the girls You know, we just love how you're having him around and of course by, I just mean me because I don't think the other girls even know who he is at this point.

So, Bershan shows up and- He's just walking behind her giving random gay things so he can be the best gay on housewives. He's like, oh, amazing, air kisses. Yes, hi. He's just really benefiting from COVID restrictions in that they just can't bring too many other gays into the circle

So he's the one who like got through he's being all of them, you know, yeah, so To the great amazing air kiss is high I do this enough. It all sound like a crowded party For ends like uh, so then brachan shows up. He. Well, it's round two. Second chance. Bershon, I just said Bershon, relax. I can get a hand, but it's their night. I'm gonna be like, chill, chill with Bershon. Yeah.

So then Sonia comes in and she's talking to Hank. And he's like, hi, yes, you, we know you, know you, good to see you. Haven't seen you so long. Haven't seen you so long. So she's like, oh, Hank, maybe that party that we did, that you did with a passionate thing that you were at wasn't that fun? Have we drank? He's like, oh, yes, we turned it up, we sure did girl. That was great, son, you

hope it do it again. And she's like, no, I can't drink around these girls anymore because now they're whacking their fingers at me. Yeah, and Bershaw's like, wait, so no one's drinking but me? And so he goes, well, you know, the night that we drank that red wine, she called me a clown. She called me a clown. And honestly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to see you tonight,

but now that I'm seeing you, I remember that I actually really like you. And she says, you know when Bershaw is not saying stupid things to me and pissing me off, we get along really well. I know I'm sure I'd love her when she's sleeping. I had a boyfriend like that for six years. So Hank said, well, girls, so when you just said she's not going to be drinking around you because she's afraid of you. Oh my god, I heard that too. Me too. Tell them. No, you tell them. I just told them. You sure, Dan, what's the story? Morning glory. So Dan,

he just met me. I just love Hank playing 10k guys with a party. Just just just a little space. Wow. That's getting really crowded in here, right? Yes, it totally is. Oh my god. Thank god. I learned how to throw my voice before tonight So romanticos room on it. It's like good. She's not gonna drink she's afraid of us. That's good And he goes, uh-uh, it's her birthday. Yeah, be cool to where it's her birthday. That's what I said I agree. I'm just agreeing. Oh my god. Why are we fighting front of people again? I know we need to stop it Stop it stop fighting with me, you stop fighting with me. By the way, I was also amused, this sort of a call back to before when Sonia says that she really likes that LeWayne came up with the idea of just having this simple party. She was, you know, Ramona realized we don't need her 75 other friends, we have each other.

Unlike it's also COVID, you're not allowed to have more than 13 people in this room and all of Hank's voices Yeah, so Leigh it comes in pigtails. It's a big night for pigtails on this show because Sun you had him earlier Yeah, he's like for pigtails So they also had like a prairie dress in one of our confessionals sort of like a pioneer woman thing with like a tide You know that yeah, it's exciting. Like pink, yeah, pink flower of weird. So then basically, Lee is going to be nice to Bershon because, you know, she almost started Ramona's backyard on fire. So the least she could do is give this girl a chance, right?

So then we get this creepo Kurt, the nude model from. He's like, bro, they're just like, really is. He's always like, They're just like really is He's always like hey, oh yeah, I hang And some you say oh look it's a politically correct socially astute nude poser Hi, Kurt. Hi. Oh, are you here? You you must have read that I was I'm in a hot and heavy relationship on page six. Oh, I'm so embarrassed about that right. Hi Kurt He goes looking fabulous and garbles. Oh So then Leah and Ebony are telling Bershon about the nude model and how you had a big one even when it wasn't hard I mean it was just kind of big, but I mean it was crazy because I was like my art but kind of hard but still really big

Oh my god, it was crazy. It was like my art, but kinda hard, but still really big. Oh my god, it's penis. Yeah, and everybody's like, I almost forgot I saw his dick. It was amazing. That's a feat, because it was nice. And we'll have pictures of it coming up at 6 o'clock tonight. Now back to Seinfeld. So then, Luanne is like, girls, there's a gentleman here who'd like to give you a little gift. And then this guy, Dylan, comes in and I don't know if you saw

his caption, where's Kyron? It's at Dylan Clothes Model. And his gift is like corner store deli flowers. Yeah. He's a model. And so he's like, oh, well, how do you know him? And we're going to guess, oh, I met him through some people. Okay. So he starts cracking up. So like through people, what does that even mean? And Sonia starts like listing, she can't, it's only I can't place this guy, so she starts listing all the like side characters

that have ever appeared in Ramona's life. She's like, either Tennis Instructor, the Swimming Structor, or the guy who did her cabinets. Like, who are you again? So then And then on top of that then William who shows up about once or twice a season he appears He's the younger guy that they're always trying to make it seem like Ramona's fucking Though at this point, I'm starting to think that maybe they is she has she has been fucking right? Because that's why he's always showing that.

I think the Ramona is just like paying at this point. What'd you know, good for you. You know, you need a service, go for it. You go William, but also wasn't William a driver on Million Dollar Listing LA. He was someone's driver, I think. Well, see, I do remember that. I do remember that hearing that.

But I like Leah. She was like, can we just get some new man? When I met him last time, that didn't go so well. And we see a flashback of her being like, you're the kind of guy that when you have sex, you look at her and it's off of the mirror. I'm just glad that we didn't get that other creepy guy from last season who was like really hitting on Leah.

Do you remember that guy? He was a remonance friend. What was his name? He's sort of at that weird accent. Ron. Ron. Ron, the big guy yeah the big runner and so I think you want to come out with this later it was like Ron John's brother you want to come out with us oh my oh my oh my spot last season the new beauty oh my who go God. Go about. Oh, my God. Not inviting at least.

So, um, yeah. So, so basically, I was like, yeah, I'm just projecting anger of my former boy friends onto William. And I shouldn't be doing that. I'm like, no, you should. I think you should. I think it's fun. So then Dylan, she does get a new guy because now there's Dylan of the long hair, who's there. And Dylan, you know, who knows, he has really good hair, tells William, he's like, hey bro, you have great hair. And he goes, oh my God, you too, he's like, really thanks.

I know, he totally finished for that hair compliment. No, he has great chest and abs too, okay? Well, you gotta have that before you dive into this pool. It's like, just puff that chest up a little bit Cuz the rest of your night is gonna be really creepy. Yeah, fun. So Le Mans like girls. What do you think? I mean, you know me son, you're rich, huh? We always have to fill the party with boys Am I right? And luckily there's no evil rats will hear just deal them from my niece. Am I right everyone? Meanwhile here to steal them from my niece. Am I right everyone? Meanwhile, Carol Radswell's like, never go to West Elm. They're terrible.

Have you read all of that? That's been really. What? Wait, no, what happened? What's going on with the leader? It is so funny. Carol's really bad at West Elm because I don't know. She's telling off West Elm on Twitter and she's just going and going and going. It's like 20 tweets long this saga. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so then let's see.

It's a show. Louis, I was like, all right, well here's our surprise. And it's strippers in North Face, Vess and jeans. Strippers in the winter. We find out what their fashion is. Big, big episode for fleece. Yeah, fleece and spik-tails. They, I think these were just like people

who were just like waiters, they were like, oh, could you just put on some jeans and ride the rounds a little bit? Cause they just kind of come in and they kind of like, they do like video game dancing. You know, like if you're, if there's a video game and there's like a, you're like in a club and a video game and the people in the background do this like weird shimmy, like if you're if there's a video game and there's like a you're like in a club in a video game

And people in the background do this like weird shimmy like on loop because they're just little animations That's what they were doing on top of Suny at Ramona like a little like we are being sexy right now Yeah, but it's like why would you hire high energy strippers when you know that like an attention whore like Lee is there Who's gonna try and take all the attention anyway because she's that girl who that's exactly what she does. The male strippers come in and she's like, Yeah, look at me, I'm not dancing him. Whoa! Whoa!

She's totally that girl. Yeah, Embrachon's like, Now this is what I thought needed to happen in Salem. Am I right everyone? I'm like, yes, I would have loved to see those Salem Massachusetts male strippers. Yeah. The Luke twins that were there. Yeah, the twins.

So then the Luke Wilson twins. So then Ramona's, basically Ramona's like, you know what, I don't need the stripper. Just to double Sonya. So then that's when Leah takes over or whatever. So Ramona says, I can look at a strip up, but you know, what? I don't want to be around him. I don't want to close to my body guy.

Go Leah, go Leah, go Leah, all I want for Christmas is go Leah, go Leah. That's just Ramona in the corner of life. The next hour. Yeah. So well, I've got a toast. We're here to celebrate The new piano in my apartment. Have you noticed? Okay everybody? Thank you for coming. Happy first birthday to my piano I have some well wishes from some people who have been in my music videos This one here is from the girl who played Lynn in Alph

She says happy happy birthday. I wish I could have met you. Don't know who you are. But if you want to go fund me, you can reach me at the following link. I'll email that to you girls. Okay, who's next? Who's next?

So they're all having fun with the strippers and stuff. And then we catch Ramona telling William, you know what, William? The views for my apartment or amazing. No, seriously, you have to see him with your own three eyes. Okay, gotta see him. Yeah, so, so then, Lohan's like, well now we can all drink everyone.

And so, this heard something fall over. It was the power of my piano knocking things over in your home. So Sonia is like, so Luanne, what happened to Garth? Geez, God, what happened? Oh, did you read about that in page 6? How mortifying to be in the public eye about my relationship. So then we see Bershon and some of the girls are talking to the nude painting guy. Amber Shahn's like, well, are you always professional or do you get closer than closer than I'm

touching you? Then I've got my finger in your butt crack and he's like, um, 99% no touching, 99.9%. Okay. And so they're all pretending that sexy and thanks like oh my god I have a question I have a question okay you go first no you go first okay when you are posing new Do you feel like roast from Titanic? That's what I was gonna say yeah roast from Titanic and he's like um yes and Jack oh I'm like Kurt didn't understand the question. I'm like I feel like Kurt had no idea what that question was about He's painting himself nude I'm like, Kurt didn't understand the question. I'm like, I feel like Kurt had no idea what that question was about.

He's painting himself nude. Like, jerk off painting. Yeah. And Ebony's like, I mean, I could sit there with my vulva out and hang, because like vulva, vulva, vulva, vulva, vulva. Everyone wants to know what did you mean by that? vulva.

I don't know. And Ebony's like, well, the particular lips of the vagina. And Leagueus, no, no, no, the particular lips of the vagina. And Liga goes, no, no, no, the vulva's the inside. She's like, no, it's the outside. What is it with the ladies of Bravo, not understanding vaginas? Okay, because this is also a problem over on Real Housewives of Potomac.

So listen, we don't understand vaginas, okay? But, you know, you guys, we need some vagina learning on okay, but you know, you guys We need some vagina learning on Bravo is what I'm gonna say we need some good old-fashioned Sex class on Bravo because no one seems to know how the vagina works. Yeah, yeah, that would be helpful So then afterwards after that Ebony invites decides to invite Leah and Ramona to an event and then she's like She's like girls girls. I want to invite you to an event and then Berchon comes around the corner and everyone goes Because they like everybody clearly does not want to invite Berchon to this so but she goes forward anyway and she goes Girls I'd like to invite you to black Shabbat everyone goes a Jewish Shabbat dinner. That's for black people

That what it is? No, it's, well, it's inclusive of my good Jewish friend Archie. And she's, and, and Leo's like, and she's not black. She's Jewish though. So why are you calling it black Shabbat? I don't understand why you call it black Shabbat. Okay. She's like, because the friends I'm bringing are black.

Well, except for you ladies. She goes, okay, so you still black? Why can't you just invite me to dinner? Okay. She's like because of friends I'm bringing our black well except for you ladies she goes okay So you know what why can't you just invite me to dinner? Okay? Why does it have to be a black red yellow blue powerful dinner? Guy she goes well Ramona. I'm calling it black Shabbat because culturally we share things we're both oppressed We're both and she's you what you know what she's got a feather She's just like rubbing in her own face She's just you know what? I got a feather. She's just like rubbing in her own face She's just can't raise the feather out of nowhere. It's like What it's my birthday and I really don't want to get into all this stuff, okay?

No, but I really don't like it. It's got some colors Hey, please no, call her mentions. I remember is like I can't invite you to a party Well, just say hey baby. I'm having a party. I want you to come, she's no but it's black Shabbat. I want you to come to black Shabbat. So then just say Shabbat, dinner, she's no but it's black, black Shabbat. I just want Evanity to keep saying, black Shabbat, black Shabbat, no it's regular Shabbat.

It's really awesome. It has to do. All Evanity means to do is come in every scene and go black. And we're month ago. Oh my god. Can't. Why? Why cares? Join us to me. Why? Vermont is like, it's like, who is it? Yes, is it a, is it a Shabbat fully for black people?

No, but who cares? She just has a side of the call at this because it was like bringing together two groups, right? I mean, like, literally the stupidest thing ever. And it was like cracking me up. And so, Romana's like, you know what? I'm hoping this is a fun dinner, but sometimes the Ebony makes it. It's very serious, guy. I mean, what if I get there and she says something like, brown, you know what?

She says that, I'm just my hits gonna explode, guy. And Prashan's like, okay, so why can't I come? And everybody's like, um, because COVID, I'm limited, and the black people I want to come are people that I've been to Israel with. You know, black people that I've experienced Judaism with. That's shitty.

It was so condescending. And that's shitty. It was shitty. I almost liked it because I love a shitty condescending moment on these shows. I mean, that's what. That's shitty. It was shitty. I almost liked it because I love a shitty, condescending moment on these shows. I mean, that's what Roni is about. I like these totally passive aggressive moments. And I was like, okay, Abinni,

you're sort of getting into it. But it wasn't, it didn't lean into the shittiness of what she was doing as much, but I agree. It was a totally shitty thing to do. Like, you could have added one more per. You could have added version.

It's a total bitch moves, you know? Vershance in the cast, except it, okay? Yeah, and cast. Yeah, and Vershance, like, it's okay. I can miss the party. I mean, after Harlem nights, I don't need to go to school again for five hours. I'm good.

Yeah. So Leah, Ramona, and Ebony are talking. And so then Leah's like, oh yeah, well, what about this music video? Like she's donating proceeds, but for how long? I mean, what if she's still making tons of money in 10 years from this song? Like, so she does want money. She's not just worried about protecting herself. She wants like a kind of the song, which is so fucking ridiculous to me.

So Ramona is like, you know what? I don't know. I think that I don't think she's like that. Get it? I don't think she's like that. And she could have met, she's not the kind of person to not give you money, but she knows Luhan well enough. I think she means she's not like that. Like, she's not the kind of person to sell a million copies of anything. Okay.

Okay. So then Luhan interrupts and she interrupts in the most Luhan way possible. She walks because what? Well I'm talking about the song and if our voices are gonna be used like do we have to sound a release and like what does it really look like and like I think that we should have gone it before recording. Yeah you know what I said I said I trust you. Yeah guys that's what it's said. And she very God I wish I was on my Christmas song to give women from Fortune society. And basically what you said to me was, I don't trust you and I'm very. God, I wish I was on my new couch a piano, so I could start it too.

Disappointing. I mean, did Joan Van Arc ask for a contract? No. Did Jewels Weinstein ask for a contract? No. Did Patty Sanger ask for a contract? No. Did Patty Sanger ask for a contract? No. But I guess Leon McSweeney, she needs a contract.

Am I right, everyone? Well, I think it's terrible that you don't want me to protect myself. That's what's really terrible. No. I'm just like, God bless the whan. Okay. God bless her. God bless the wind okay God bless her God bless her okay yeah and lia's like I do like why do you want like Ramona why do you want to fight you

don't want like you don't want the smoke just stop no you stop okay don't attack my girlfriend girlfriend okay shut up Ramona just shut, I'm bringing it up because last year, there was a fight with you and Durrana and Sonia because you wanted to use Sonia and not pay her one set. Yeah, but she did pay her little for her hair and it wasn't the same thing because it was like a little supporting. I can't with this.

I'm gonna stop being offended because we're like an hour and 15 and honestly, I don't care. I like it It's annoying me. I like I like it I honestly think that I think that Leah has a fair point. I really do I mean I I think like if it were in real life for me in real life I would have been like okay, whatever. I'll just do my voice whatever But I think she's still allowed to ask you know, I think she's still allowed to have these questions okay

so because I think she's still allowed to have these questions, okay? So, because I think if this song were to become some weird viral hit, right? And people are like buying it, just almost as fun, but it actually racks up some money. And the way I'm like, all the proceeds are going to this society. But then after like two years, it's like no longer doing that.

And now the way I'm just getting the money, I can understand, might be, I might say, like, hey like, could I get a piece of that at this huge billion dollar song that's about to happen, you know? So I think that the questions are deserved. I think you can, at the very least, you're allowed to ask a question. Again, this is someone who's the son of a lawyer, so this is ingrained in me. But Ronnie's putting up his disagree sign from watch what happens What my sign is up on my bulletin board, so I can't reach it. Okay, listen You know what I have to say about it little rock pastor neck Mickey Mantle caro weck spot Nick shoe on late bridge over the river quiet What oh my god is that Billy Joel? I love I love Billy Joe This one I was gonna say I know you love Billy Joel. You talk about it. You love Billy Joel too I never knew that you know that hang okay. Sorry

So Luangus well, it's none of your fucking business. How's that? Don't overstep your fucking boundaries girl really really I'm a month is going crazy Just making like huge Ramona crazy symbols with their hands and Huge Ramona crazy symbols with their hands and And Lee I goes, Lueanne, I will step wherever the fuck I want first of all my lawyer is the one who said if you're going to do a song have released Well Oh Baby, you're not gonna find anything. I was like wait find anything now what's going on? I know Lou Ann thinks this girl is like attacking her finances. Or so, it's so weird.

So Looam's like, I would cut off my right arm for you. Right. For why? And Evan, he's like, well, she just wants to ask you a question without insulting your integrity, Lou. Okay, that's all she's doing. Everyone goes, nope. She wants peace of it.

She wants peace of it. That's it. Oh, poor. And, I mean, I mean, I think I think has the best perspective on this, which is like, you know what, Leah's right, but I figured they would just get to the paperwork a little bit later, and if that's where anything but for charity,

the deadline, it's time to die line right away. You know, that's, and I think that that is the absolute right perspective on this. So, Leah's like, I mean, if the song was making millions, I would hope that Leigham would break off something because that's how it goes. Of course, I would do that. I would, I'll tell you what I would break off my right arm for you. That's what I break off for you, my right arm and my left arm. No arms because it's worth it for you, Leah McSweeney.

And Romana's like, no, it was my friends. So I'm gonna promote her Okay, you want me to promote you? I'm gonna promote you. What is it Liam mob? What is that? What is it? Okay, she's like oh where okay and Leah's like um you're not even my demographic So don't worry. I mean I've got Rihanna wearing this shit. Okay, do you really think I need you? Well, it's funny that you mentioned that because I've got Rihanna's butler on my song. So I guess we're sort of at the same level. And so he goes, well, she can't wear it anyway

because she took ridiculous. Am I right, ladies? I just love the pile on that they just like, any excuse that they can have to just go at each other, they will. So now Luanna's is really a man. Now you're talking behind my back, behind my metaphorical living room piano

with my girlfriend's at the party. I'm throwing for Ramona and Sonia about legal issues. I don't even exist. Huh! Do you think I won't know? There are holes in the walls here. So. All of Hank's Hank guests are telling me. Do you do you hear Luan she's talking about you Luan

She's talking about you. Yeah, you should have heard what she said. Oh my god. It was so cruel. I know oh my god Let's all tell her all at once. I'm telling I'm telling her now. I'm telling her first I'm telling you but shut the fuck up. Hey, no, it keeps that up He's basically gay gollum at this point Yeah He's basically gay golem at this point. Yeah. So then Will's like, oh god, everyone's attacking each other over there. What's up? And everyone is like, whoa, you know what?

They just told me that Leah wasn't charged with the cake. Okay, I gotta go, gonna go now. And of course, Leah wanted to get the cake so that she could make Ramona mad and have a cock and a pussy cake. Wow, do not take one step or you're about to fall over your edge. What edge Leah? Okay, what edge? A penis cake?

Wow. And then Ramona pretends to lick the penis cake, she was like, I was like, it was really an image I didn't need. Well, at least she made it white. There was no color on the cake. I was like, it was really an image I didn't need. Well, at least she made it white. There was no color on the cake. So we're monakin' at least be grateful for that. Just a cake?

Okay. So then, and then Hank is like, Oh my god, Leah, great job. Yeah, I mean, who knew they wouldn't freak out to have who knew? Yeah, who knew? Because he knows that she's just doing it to piss off Ramona. Yeah. And so Leah is like, you know what, Lou, I just wanted to tell you, I know that you have integrity. Like, I know, I'm just trying to protect our friendship because like a business between friends, you actually did Luana huge favor in this episode because

no one has ever suggested that Lu Ann would sell millions of dollars worth of music. So thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah. And the one's like, no, I just didn't get to it yet. It's hard to do all these things when you only have one arm left on a count of the one you pulled off on for your friend.

Am I right? Let's hug. This is a one arm dog. So then we see Lou Ramona. she's like, okay, you have my press right William. He's like, actually, no, let me text you. And then Sony is like, Oh, Dylan, you want to go out? I just can't help myself. Yeah. So they both leave with men. Yeah, I was, I was entertained. I'm not going to sit here every single episode of this podcast and be like, see the show's not so bad

But I thought it was a really funny like like a good reliable Roni episode a stupid fight that escalated about some stupid shit That was all about egos. That's what I that's what I'm here for. I was very happy Yeah, fun episode. Yeah, totally at least for us. I'm glad that we're enjoying it Ronnie because I have my I have my bestie to enjoy it with. So everyone, we have no Beverly Hills this week. No Beverly Hills this week, but we do have the family. That's a shame. I know, it's a shame. But that gives Erica some more time to sort out that car story. So in the meantime, we do have the family karma season finale and that's what we'll be recapping tomorrow. So everyone, stay tuned and our bonus, don't forget,

our bonus is my unorthodox life, okay. That's on Netflix. If you haven't heard of it, it's on Netflix and we're going to recap the very first episode. So check that out on Patreon. And until then, we will talk to you tomorrow. Bye everyone.

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