Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Children of the Scorn

Episode Date: May 16, 2020

The Real Housewives of New York escape the madness of NYC to enjoy an afternoon of apple picking and wine tasting and peeing in corn mazes. What better time to channel internal disappointment into rage against Tinsley? Don't just listen to this episode; watch it too! Check out the video here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/crappens-on-1228-37159381 See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Ben Mandelker from the real house we as a kitchen oilin' which is a cartoon about Roni. Okay, go check it out. It's on YouTube and it's convenient because we're talking about Roni today on this

old podcast and joining me for this fun, fun, actually crazy episode. Of course, they're always crazy. Is Ronnie Caram from the Roseprix Bachelors podcast. What's up, runny? Hi, man. Hello. Hi, how are you? How are you? How are you? Are you, um, are you okay with the breaking news that Cameron, Chelsea and Naomi are leaving Southern charm? Oh my god, it's been a crazy week over at Southern Charms like they racist and quitting they fired. I don't know what the hell's going on over there

but yeah it's a disaster. It might be time to put that one to bed. It might yeah it might be it might be and yet and yet it's at Southern Charm Nola that was the one that got kicked to the curb. Why? Why? We don't know. You know know that's the thing with Bravo You never know maybe it's back on we have no idea we honestly don't know It's probably never tells anybody okay, and then they'll be like hey, we're gonna start shooting today We'll be at your house and they're like It's like what could I lose some corona wait before you just show the fuck up at my house Bravo? I mean I do wonder what what Bravo is gonna show.

Once they burn through the stuff that they've already shot, I mean, is it gonna be just like, you know, like, carry and... carry, doober, like, with... in Dallas, I'm Zoom with Zuri. I just don't even know. I don't know why I went to them. I don't know why they were my choice But I don't know I took you while

I was like you came up with even thinking about I know I was like that that's that's called like it's the end of the week in my brain This frozen for some reason. Terry doopers what entered in? Terry doopers not even on Bravo anymore Well, maybe they'll do that That type of thing they did with 90 day fiancee where they're just doing it all in quarantine. You know, they show them with their quarantine camps at home. I don't mind watching some housewives

fight over Zoom, do it. Yeah, I'm fine with it. I'm also with mine just watching a housewife just trying to figure out Zoom. Also, be great. I just watching Dorenda stumble. Is it sad? Is it sad?

So, okay, okay, so, okay, you can see me, okay. And then just an hour of that, to run to try and figure it out, I'm happy. Yeah, I'm in. Speaking of watching things on Zoom or WebCams, et cetera, this is a crap and on demand episode, which means you can not only just listen to us, you can watch us right now by going to patreon.com slash

watch what crap and for instance, you can see my hair, which is really going into like a Tucker Carlson kind of space. So, yeah, no, it's true. I have to admit my truth. I'm not happy about it, but that's just the way it is, okay? Yeah, I'm already very angry at my hair. So, but yeah, go to patreon.com slash watch a crappin' to watch us, which is really fun. And when you sign up on the Crappins on Demand level, you actually get access to all our previous Crapids on Demands. There's over a hundred, was like 150 by now, something like that. And you also, by being at that level, you'll be able to join us the next time we do one of our live recaps, quarantine recaps on the internet. So it's really fun. Go do that. And you have access to bonus episodes. It's set to raw.

So it's really fun. Go do that. And you'll have access to bonus episodes. It's set to rock. It's set to rock. Let me now how my face looks today, because I set up my camera differently. I like it. Now I put it right in front of my face, but I can't really see my notes.

So if you see me looking around a lot, it's because I'm trying to see the notes. I thought it was you just sort of flicking your long hair, your imaginary long hair, your martial braiding hair. Yeah, it's my share. It's like on my drag. Yeah. your like long hair, your imaginary long, your like martial braiding hair. Yeah, it's my share, it's like on my drag, my air drag share, you know, air drag, where you don't even have to wear a wig.

That's some zoom shit right there, some quarantine shit, where you're just like doing air drag. Yeah, I got to tell you what we do every day, actually come to the thing. Pretty much, pretty much. So anyway, before we dive into our Roni recap, one thing that we've been doing that we really like doing is giving some shout-outs to small businesses that our

listeners own or their family members own, etc. So let's go look at some small businesses. Ronnie, do you have one ready to go or should I dive in? Well, sir, I'd like to shout out Michelle Azizzi. Love the name. Michelle Azizzi, New and Aziz, with a sweetheart. Michelle is a registered dietician who provides nutritional consulting for weight loss with lasting results with a reasonable approach That doesn't involve diets or gimmicks now. I don't know what the hell that is. I don't know if Michelle is a magician It's a zizi magician, but you know what I want to find out Michelle is you notice that guy Notice that she did not say shame Okay, it's a lot of shame. She just shame too, but isn't shame magic I found really heavy effing magical not I think shame is like a life force

Yeah, it is So you can find Michelle is easy for your for help with your weight or whatever and listen I think we all feel fat if you've seen Adele lately with your weight or whatever. And listen, I think we all feel fat if you've seen Adele lately. Okay? I mean, I don't know why I need Adele's fucking skinny ass face in my face every time I wake up, but it's like everyone's dying of coronavirus and Adele's thin now. And then I read thousands of comments of people being mean to Adele for getting thin. You know, stop that fucking people. Stop it right now. I'm not mad at Adele for getting thin. I'm mad at Adele for becoming a home goods terrorist because that's what she looks like

now the sort of person who like will galore at you by taking the last uh gather sign from an island home goods do not put adelle in the gather category she is not like that i love adelle she's my hero lover fat lover thin lover in between a del alone. But the point is, Kalma Shalva is easy if you like looking at the thin, it doesn't. Her Instagram handle is at the true bite. And her website is called thetrubite.com. All right. Well, now I'm going to go give a shout out to well, Carrie Chapin says she's very thankful that we are doing this.

She's submitting her friend's product that she invented. It's called shower art, okay? So basically So it's a mirror. It's a mirror for the shower. Is that what you're telling me? It's her. I just got that. Okay, I just got it. Okay, so our friend Rosalie Gale has something called Ugly Baby, okay, and it's ugly baby shop.com and It's an actual place at Pikes Place Market in Seattle, too. By the way Pikes Place Market where Ron and I Once spent an evening walking around we had chowder we walked around and We looked at things and looked at fish and we're like this is so pretty Anyway, so the point is that when you go to uglybabyshop.com you can get waterproof art for your shower

And also you can create custom shower art You can sort of attach it to bathroom mirrors suction cups and stuff like that just fun stuff that like you know Keep your spirits up during these crazy times and guess what she is offering through mirrors suction cups and stuff like that. Just fun stuff that like, you know, keep your spirit up during these crazy times. And guess what, she is offering 15% off many shout out purchases. Just use the code Ramona Singer. Wow, okay, you know what? That is probably the best discount code

we've ever encountered. So use the discount code Ramona Singer at checkout to get 15% off through May 31st So that's really cool. And there's like I'm looking at the pictures now. They're kind of fun There's like one with Marlins and stuff that says washer, but you know inspirational messages Poop like no one is washing. Okay, it's a little bit of a run-out paraphrasing So go check that out. That's fun. Poop like everyone's watching. Oh, you're right. Yeah.

Turn that one on its head. Thanks, Gary. Thanks for shouting out your friends business. And that amazing promo code. All right, everybody. So here we are with real housewives of New York City. Wow. I have never felt so comfortable around a group of alcoholics. I mean, even in AA, I never felt this comfortable around. That's a very uncomfortable way to be around a group of alcoholics. A couple of times I went through that dump.

But wow, it's like, get a blanket. Let's get comfortable with this group of alcoholics. I mean, what a lovely bunch. Just full on alcoholics. It's just so great. I mean, it is, it's, it's, I just feel like we've never, ever on alcoholics. It's just so great. I mean it is it's it's I just feel like we've never ever on television seen such like on the apologetic Drunks on screen who are simultaneously drunk and laughing and cutting each other down every instance

And I know what you might say real-world seasons, you know Las Vegas to current futures many drunks. But that's like when you're young and you're drinking and you're just like, but this is like people who are supposedly responsible and like contributing members of society. There's like a difference. I said supposedly not contributing. Yeah, supposedly. Not actual. Not actual. Listen, heavy poor on the supposedly. No, I know, I'm saying that that's how they would feel. I mean, like we all know, Dorenda walking down a street in the Upper East Side and seeing a gate is not a massive

contribution to society outside of our circle. Well, I went to the cheese show. Hey, you see gate. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, Drunks, got a love them. Got a love them. So we open with Martin, But yeah, drunks got 11 Got a level so So we open with Martin the the boxer guy in the street

No, it's just like an old-timey movie of New York like oh New York in the great look at me throwing a football with the fireman. Yeah, yeah I'll catch your football too look at the American. Yeah, I'm fucking you guys trying to sell me, okay? It felt very much like a weird movie, right? Like I feel like that doesn't happen in real life, you know Are they gonna play like a stick ball or handball afterwards? I don't know was so yeah He throws this football at a passing at a fireman in a passing fire truck. He throws the football I like he's like, yeah, that's what I'm talking about now you're in in New York. I'm like, is this a commercial for the island of Manhattan right now?

Like something you see like to encourage tourism. And if that's New York, I don't want to live there, okay? I don't want firemen passing by throwing a football at my fucking head, okay? There's things to do. This is not PE, okay? Don't tell me that your city likes PE and then expect me to want to go there. Okay. No one could be more horrified than Tinsley who was walking back to Martin for more boxing and the fireman, I guess, it's sort of off camera, but we have to assume it's the fireman throws the football at Tinsley. She's like, oh,

a little potato. He's like, hey, Tinsdale, welcome to New York City when we throw balls with fire man What's your dream, man? What's your dream? It's like it's actually like the pretty woman guy in real life Like oh that guy does exist. But he's in New York. It turns out What's your dream? So then we we're getting little quick shots of what everybody's doing today Now I think that speaking of alcoholism New York has cut off this cast from shooting anywhere But the park. Yeah, they're only in public spaces for the for most of this. Yeah

Outside like it's like they have like multiple scenes in central park this week and the highline So Lou and me to rend up the highline. Oh, wow, I've never quite I've actually never been down here before Wow, look at this the high line more like the line for cabaret Right you all been here to see me see my shows tonight. No, okay. Oh, so Leah shows up in a fur coat and the wands like well Hello, Leah that fur would go well with the jumpsuit Sony gave you right? That fur would go well with the jumpsuit Sony gave you, right? That's some of the comedy you'll be seeing in fuck Mary Kill a spinoff of Luke Countess and friends. Huh It's my dirty show So Ramona isn't a different park. What's a high line by the way? He said the high line

What is that isn't the high isn't called the high line isn't one that's like um it was like formerly like What is that isn't the high isn't called the highlight isn't the one that's like um it was like formerly like Train your interest and like that they converted into a park that's like up and it's like wine. It's like a big walk walking Is it called the high line? I thought it's called the high line. It's I don't know. I'm not working with you I was just asking haven't lived in New York for 16 years. Yeah, the high line Yeah, the highlight. Oh you know it next time we'll go the high line next time we go to New York. Okay. No Beautiful and fine old outside walking. I don't need it. So then we go to some York. Okay, it's really beautiful and fun. Okay, old outside walking, I don't need it. So then we go to some people outside and I say no. So then we go over to Central Park,

which is the third park that we're seeing here, or the second park. And Durinda's just sort of standing there, like she's in a happy mood, so when she's a happy mood, she's sort of like a pigeon. She's sort of like a stand there, like, like a Disney pigeon, you know, or Disney seagull maybe, you know, how they do that. They just sort of, I don't know if I'm articulating this.

They just sort of, they just sort of are like sway back and forth very happily. Like, I'm happy Disney bed. Isn't this remonance on you though? Oh, I'm sorry. I met, yes, you're right. I think I just had a vision of Duran to doing that in a park because it just seemed to make sense. Yeah, she wasn't the scene before, but yeah, no, because you know, like, there's a, there's a, there's a scene later where Durinda's in central park. So I just mixed them up. Yeah, Durinda is actually the pigeon thing. Because

Durinda's walking like even like right now when she's walking her heads, bopping like this, like pigeons do. Like, yeah, she do yeah yeah she's like her own her she's got the shakes are like there's something going on with her head like last week when they showed her walking down the street she was rubbing her hands like you know every meme all right now with their hand you know D D Corona Pfizer or whatever and they're just always walking like this she's walking like this and bopping her head you get some bread you get some brems yeah're some crumbs? You're getting some crumbs?

You know what you get? You know what it's like when you're sitting on a park bench and the pigeons come up just sort of like, spike in the crumbs. That's also very different. They're like, I'm like, you can sit on the bench, you knock it through some crumbs. There's no mercy to do. And you know what? I shit on your bench.

I shit on your bench, I shit on your head. And that was a nice crumb. Thank you for the crumb. I like that. I like the crumb. You probably got that nice pigeon purse because you always, you always sucking crumbs. You stop it. I eat cruss, spread it less longer than you on that bench. That's what I gotta say.

So Ramona is scaring Sony in the park now. And basically she's just like, what? And that's it. Sony's like, oh, Ramon, you're so scary. And then we go over to Timzli, back with Timzli at the boxing place, mountain. He's like, how you doing, kid? How you doing, huh? How you doing, kid? Martin's my favorite kind of teacher. He's like a vocal teacher who can't really sing,

like he's got real skinny arms. Yeah. And I'm not really sure why he's teaching boxing, but I fucking love him and want him to follow me around in life and just say Yeah, it's like what's your dream? Yeah, I also I really have to I want to congratulate whichever scientists Reanimated his corpse. I mean that's just great work You can barely even see the stitching. He's just like he's just like a perfect example of a Frankenstein who made it back into society And now opened up a boxing gym so really congrats whoever did that scientist

Yeah, you can't see the stitching because it's under that big headband it back into society and now opened up a boxing gym. So really congrats whoever did that scientist. Yeah, you can't see the stitching because it's under that big headband. It does not look like it's just kind of holding them all together, that headband. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely like one of those things where it like, well normally the old story is the lady with the sash around her neck. And when you take the sash off her head falls off because she was decapitated and she came back from life. But he is just sort of like, he's like holding together like the top of his school or something. It's like less interesting.

So that is interesting as a full head following up. I'm sorry, Martin. So Tinsy's like, oh, I'm good. I mean, I'm not great. I mean, I'm better than the last time I saw you. That's for sure. And then we see a flashback, Tinsy, with Martin, last time, he's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And Martin laughs at me like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH But you're good who the fuck are you right now? It's like I just want to be living my best life with my best life as to be in a certain box

She's like no, I'm in a better place, you know, I'm a better place I'm single and you go you like being single. She goes no He goes well, okay well to make up your mind. You're happy. You're not happy. What's going on here? It's like yes, no to make up your mind. Are you happy? You're not happy. What's going on here? He's like, yes, no. Like Jesus Christ. So she's like, Martin is not easy to talk to. Like he makes you fight with him.

But you have to like you fight him with your face, but then you also have to fight him with your words. And he makes me be honest with myself or dishonest. I'm not really sure what I'm trying to do right now. I can't do this. Martin, would you ever consider having a baby with me? I don't know. My options are really running out. I don't know. He's like, I see you got all those women around you, huh? So do they instigate you?

Do they instigate you? And she's like, well, I have this one girl fan and we have this tension and she's like, she's saying I'm not being sharing or like I'm not being going in on is I'm doing this year and being over in on is I was like this is so perfect for them to put tensley crying in a place where someone can just punch her over and out Yeah, like Yeah, it's truly like emphasis on baby in million dollar baby. So Martin's like He's like he's like so who all these broads who are doing all this and she's like

Well, our name is Derinda Derinda Where you guys get these names from Derinda And you know I'm saying Derinda. Hey anyone anyone I don't like to fight with france, but I think she does I'm so frustrated He's like did you get into a fight last night? I'm like well, no physical fight. He's she does. I'm so frustrated. He's like, did you get into a fight last night? I'm like, well, no physical fights. I can't know shit. All right, look at you.

You're clean as a, you're as, you're as pristine as a summer's warning, I guess. I don't know, not go with poetry, I'm better with boxing, okay? So then we go over to Ramona and she's like, well, what, I don't know what happened between Tinsley and the Windups. Almost like they were in a screaming fight. I'm like, that's exactly what they were in. They're having a screaming fight.

Yeah, so then back to Jorinda and her group, Dorenda Sto with Leo and Luann, and she's like, well, you know what? Kids would like you to say, they think you think about it a little bit Tinsley, and they'd say, you know what? I'm done. You know what could be her. You know what I'm done you know I could eat her you know what she's like to me she's like a mint in my mouth you know what she's like a mint in my mouth go ahead go ahead you go ahead me you ever see yeah yeah you're not I was watching a special and discovery by icebergs and it turns out that if you take a nice book you shrink it it becomes a mint and it goes in your mouth and that's what she's like a nice book in my mouth. That's also a mint. You know what I'm saying guys

Well, you have to keep in mind when you talk to her She goes well, you're happy and interested in her check now My mouth You know what you know it maybe we just need a nice break as you know just nice Brickah that's exactly what I'm saying no the mint I need a nice break in mint right now That's what this makes me think of right now you know what we're gonna talk about this next time We're gonna talk about it. We're gonna talk about it with the ampeas You know what she's just all very tiki tacky. That's why I gotta say very tiki

You know what, she's just all very tiki tacky. That's why I gotta say very tiki tacky. So let's get the scope of this, okay? Alright, I just went to a wash. Why is the mix a smell gel, okay? Mashes, here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

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Let's take off with Tamala Plane! Nope, she did it again, it's Britney Montana. Give them hell, Miss Noel. I take the fifth with Dana Smith. Let's give them a kiss, huh? It's Austin and Marissa. Let's rev our pistons for Amanda and Kristen. Always ready for Nicole pass already. Better than T'Bulli, it's Annie and Julie. You're the Wyndham beneath our wings. Jo Wyndham. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

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Incredible edible Matthew sisters and She ain't no shrink and violet koo char. We love you guys Anyway, so then we go back over to the box engine and Martin's like okay, we're gonna go fight Okay, I'm Dorida. Okay, we're gonna box. I'm Dorida. Okay. How would you fight Dorida Dorida? It's like who's Dorida He's like what did she change her name? Yeah, Dorida Dorinda. I don't know. I don't get these I don't get these crazy women Okay, crazy women with their names. Also, I've had 45 concussions. I don't even know where I am right now You're right. All right, think of me as Dorida and he's like, don't even know where I am right now. You say, all right, think of me as the reader.

And he's like, don't hit me in the nuts. And then she just starts hitting his leg. I'm like, oh please. And then the post-production is so shady because they have this fake eye-added tiger music that sort of sound like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, but every time she started punching they would like cancel they go

Like okay now she'll start no They get them starting to stop me. It's so rude He's like you're a doormat. That's why you're unhappy your fucking doormat I'm not a doormat but love does live here guys She's like, what I just sick of welcome welcome So finally she just gives up which is which is the natural arc of tinsley out of boxing boxing lesson And the way that we go back over to the high line and Lohan's like, well you know, I mean you have to really think about you have to have some empathy for her. I mean look, she's the type that has a mother who's

overbearing, she's from the south, she has no future, has no romantic prospects, she'll never have a child. We all think she's annoying, everyone thinks she's annoying. You just have to accept her for what she is, which is a hopeless piece of tinfoil, like a tinfoil in human form. That's all, that's all. I mean, it's even in her name. So we got a Ramona, a Ramona's like, you know what? I think that's Rinda, she just goes too hard intensely. You know, like the fact that she starts seeing Brian and then under it goes, bling, Bruce. She doesn't know this, ma'am.

She's like, when she, you know, she starts seeing Brian and normally she would just go and go and go until she found out on page 60s, but she ended up the whole time with so little fear. Hey. Yeah, you know what? I think something's going on with the D with Durinda, okay? All right listen I know this is a crazy thing because Durinda's been acting out and yelling at all of us Some sort of suspect maybe something's going on. I don't know, but maybe something's going on. Okay Sonia's like yeah because it can't be tensly. I mean I've seen a big change in tensly

I mean she's poor now her walls are leaking out and John changed his numbers to block her incest and calls That's you Sonia, okay? True that's true. What were we talking about again? It's like something's going on with the ring guys. It's going cocoa in the mocha You know what? I don't want to use the words jealous But I think she's jealous. This Richard just take care of her and Tinsley has that and I want to say Tinsley has that But she has that maybe she's jealous I don't want to say but she's jealous

I don't want to say the words jealous, but I'm gonna use the word jealous, okay? Listen listen, you know what we're all in the same place now This is and then this is the part where she starts saying partner a million times You know we're all in the same place now, okay? Like I think about okay. We have a void of a partner in our life. It's like a partner, okay? Like, she's missed having Richard. Richard was sort of like a partner, okay? So, I'm in the bookshelves.

And then I was like, listen, you gotta scose your lawyer. And she's very excited because with lawyer, just made a partner, okay? So that's just what I'm saying. And then I was like, hey, guess what? I want you by this bag. It's a sponsorship.

We're almost like, I'm a partner. Sponsorship, partner, okay? And then for the rest of the episode, everyone to John like he's just some helper that she's hired off of Angie's list And he's he's free to go now. It's so hilarious. So Sun you're saying yeah, I mean when she met Richard I when she met John Richard had just died and she needed help, you know How do microwaves work? It's difficult. she needed help thank god for telling us grab it now that they're done he can go and say you know what I mean John it's so

different for Richard I mean Richard can walk through walls hey hey John can barely fit through it all okay Richard went to ghost Harvard, okay? I don't even know if John's graduated from college, okay? Like, do they even give college degrees out of Wendy's? That's the only thing I've ever seen him study, okay? You know what? Richard was friends with people like Desmond Tutu and John, he takes things out of Tutu's, okay?

John's looking up at tutus okay. It's very different. Richard doesn't have a degree. He doesn't have the auto-entcal degree. It's very sweaty person. Richard was on the board for Harvard and Jon went to McDonald's yesterday. Pretty much. I'm Ramones loving this because you know Ramones just made her psychic prediction like

two weeks ago. This was not gonna last, you know. So she's really pleased. So then we got back over to Martin and Tinsley and he's like, all right, look right now you got a life, you got a lot of doubt, all right. You got to have faith in life. You got to do whatever the fuck you wanted, though, cause this is your fucking life. So that's my advice you, do whatever the fuck you want.

She'll do what I want to do, cause I'm her mother. Look at her t-shirt, it says, I love my mom. You have no power over us, Mr. Martin. Don't make me take off your headbands. Oh, Beth, you're frankly looking terrible these days. take off your headbands. Oh Beth in a frankly you look terrible these days. So yeah so then he's like guess what you are a fucking legend okay and there will never be another tin sale. She's like yeah because there's not one it's too way. So then at Leah's apartment downtown. Oh, it's just so good. So

Luanne comes over to you Leah's house for the first time. It's like ding dong. She's like, oh my god I'm so excited. Luanne's coming over. I mean, it's gonna be amazing that Luanne's coming over to my house because like she's never been to my house before. So not. So the man comes in and she's like, oh, how are you doing? I feel so bad for you. Are we getting past the hole in this tree to go further into a bigger hole or is this it? Oh, it was so kind of me to show you your servants quarters.

Now, when do we get to your apartment? So sorry, you don't feel well. You must become down with the case of claustrophobia, right? I'm not sure the suit. She's really gonna help that anyway. So this is what they call the subway. So yeah, start moving at some point. Oh wow, I've never been to a building where the elevator opens up to another elevator Strain elevator opens up to another elevator strain. Yeah, she's like, well, I like the building.

Mom, it's old. You can tell on the moldings. Yeah, you can tell a lot just by the quarters. They're like, that's what I always say. That's going in my, going in my cabaret. It's called quarters. I know a lot. You never know a mantle.

You've seen his corridors. It sounds better when you're in a room that has some sort of reverberation effect, not this. Closet. When you walk through corridors and every door knob looks like Romano's singer's face, you know you're in an old building. So well done. So the man's like, well, I brought food, because I thought you might be starving. Should I bring it to the kitchen? Is there a kitchen? Is that? I'm sorry does that microwave count is the kitchen? I'm not sure.

So she's so shady and then we see the bag that she brought and it looks like it just has two little pela greenos in it. I don't see all this food. She's making it sound like she brought over like this huge catered thing to Lee's house and can't fit it anywhere. So the producers like, so what do you think of Lee's apartment? She goes, oh, um, hmm, do you really want to know? Yeah, because she puts the food, when she puts the food down on this sideboard, the side table, because she's saying, she, what happens is that she starts saying like, should I be like should I bring this into the kitchen, but as she's saying it she realizes there doesn't appear to be a kitchen or any space, so she just sort of puts it down like, oh my god, what have I agreed to film in this is not my brand. And then she's like looking around

and like yeah, we can just eat it here on the table, she's like, I don't think that table's big enough. Nope. Sorry, not big enough, you're just gonna starve to death now, because I'm not gonna feed you after all. Alright, well I'll come sit on this very bohemian. Couch, okay, oh. Hmm. Really cool. Very cool. I know. Lee is like, look, you can see the city out of this window. If you just look out the window, you can see the city. And so she walks to the window and she's like oh cool wow you know I've always wanted to know what I felt like to be in steerage on that Titanic no I know so every time she shows her a different

room they just keep getting to Lewand trying to answer the question how do you like her house and she's like hmm and finally after like the fifth one she's like I love how humble she is. Well they'll say one thing as far as I could tell there were no spiders descending from the ceiling. I mean she's prayer hands emojis just a very humble girl. She's just so humble. So Leah's like you you know, most people come to my apartment and they're like pretty impressed with it unless they're like in the 1% which I'm not, which is totally okay. So I'm like, okay, so you're in the 5%. Okay, okay, it's fine. Yeah, I know. Let's get, let's, we're not going to get on board with poor Leah. Leah's like,

you know, sometimes it's not about the size, it's about the vibe. Yes. I do love the vibe that both my shoulders can touch both of your walls at the same time This is a great vibe. I've never been so close to my own vibe Actually now that you say Also, it's funny now that now that I've taken now that I've watched a whole show coming back to this line When she's like it's not about the size, it's about the vibe. Like don't shame small apartments, only small dates. Yeah, exactly. So, Leah's asking,

Leah's about how she or that Luann had a drink or whatever. And so, now Luann has a slightly different version of what we all saw on camera. She's like, well, here's what happened. I was at a very, very funny comedy show, headlined by Jacques. hilarious man, he's gonna be uncomically whenever it comes back. Anyway, well I, I got thirsty. I thought I saw some water and I was thirsty, so I took a big sip of it and then I realized it was vodka. And I was like, uh, okay, so then I took another sip of it and two,

maybe three. Then when I was sage and I was fine, I mean, I never had a problem with alcohol before and except for falling in a bush, I'm like, raise your woman's trip. But I mean, who knew? Who knew that that glass of water was full of vodka? I'm like, Ramona said, there's vodka in there

and you stare at her and still brought it to your lips. And straugged and drank it. And also that was not your one time in trouble with alcohol falling in a bush. and you stared at her and still brought it to your list. And straugged and drank it. And also that was not your one time in trouble with alcohol falling in a bush. Are we forgetting the whole season where you got so drunk, you fucked a stranger in someone else's bedroom, had to have the cops called on you,

and then you punched the cop and tried to kill them. But is that really considered a problem with alcohol or a good night? Wow. Uh, last time I checked if I had a problem with alcohol, I don't think I would have been able to slip out of those handcuffs. Am I right? Am I right? Oh, and then she had basically me and you talking about diets. With her next discussion.

It's like, well, so what? I had a piece of pizza felt great. I mean, that doesn't mean I have to have a piece of pizza every five minutes. Okay, so I just had another piece of pizza. But I'm fine, right? Now you're fine, you're fine. Doesn't mean you have no overeating problem at all. This is, I'm talking about alcohol.

It's our quarterly discussion about eating habits that we have. I remember we had it on the drive from Austin to Houston. And I remember also after our Pittsburgh show when I was trying to do Keto and we were just so hungry. And then I was like, you know what? I'm going to have a slice of pizza. It's okay. It's okay.

It was basically like Luan having her sip of vodka. It was me going to get that. Re-enforcing each other's wrong decisions. Oh, that pizza was so good. I know. Worth it. Because she's like, Luan's like, who will look? I mean, you know, like you, you understand me, right?

And she's like, yeah, she's like, look at you. Living in a tiny place with a waltz or about to squish you like a little bug. I mean, how are you not drinking? Am I right? I mean, a parachute drink. She's like, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And Leo's like, um, you know what? Like, I don't believe like my death is coming from this booth. Like, I don't think this bottle is, if I drink this, it means I'm going to die. Like, you know, you're told, hey, if you drink this right now, you have no control over it. And like, that's not empowering.

It's just a drink. Like, what's it gonna do? And then it just got to a flashback of Leo. Throwing teaky torches and screaming in Ramona's house Two weeks ago. Yeah, I'm like in a totally different place now than I was in 2009 So whatever I mean people have had me brainwash thinking that alcohol is really a problem Yeah, I think your wall is on fire and by wall I mean all your walls because they all touch each other Did you mind stop going to Ty torches inside? Thank you

She's like well look. I feel like give yourself a break I mean I'm not listening to anybody. I'm listening to me and it feels so good to say I'm giving myself permission to have a glass of wine or two or five or some vodka or some cocaine or some LSD in my toe I mean what's the problem? I's some cocaine? Where's some LSD in my toe? I mean, what's the problem? I mean, what I said, hey, Lou, give yourself a break and I've given my permission. I've given myself permission to kick everyone out of my dress room so I can enjoy our cocktail or two before my show. Okay, I gotta get ready, okay? I'm taking life moment by moment and in that moment, I chose to drink. I'm taking life moment by moment and in that moment I chose to drink

Well, what can you say like wow that's an interesting this show really knows how to twist the one day at a time thing It's a second week in a row that they've taken one day at a time I just twisted it to mean of course you could drink if you want to you today I've never seen falling off the wagon be so empowering before like literally never ever and she's like I mean, it's no big deal I mean, I'm taking off my life jacket of sobriety and I'm getting into the pool with the girls I'm gonna swim I'm gonna swim in this alcohol and drink it all up until there's no more pool Just cement because I'm drunken at all am I right girls? I'm not singing I'm swimming So Tim's not tensily. Lee is like um, anyway, speaking of not being alcoholics, did you see

paid sex? And so then we cut to Sonia and Tariq, who are, guess what they're meaning? This is gonna be a, uh, Tariq, sorry, same show. Tariq, I can't believe that Sonia Ponza just got back from Amp Amstichel. Rubin Traveling. Trouble. We're going to have a very special party for these ladies to celebrate Darynda breaking up with John, Luann falling off the wagon and me opening up a very special book at a beppo.

So yeah, so Sonja and Darynda are beating the park. And I just, yeah in the park and There I just yeah the park again, so Sonyan is like, oh hey lady. It's like look will hang me Look, I need them at filming. I'm sure you buy me belly. I'm sure I'll be very interesting I'm sure everybody has cuz I'm a paid Six motherfuckers It's me and paid sick don't look good. They look good, right? Yeah Durinda like, who planted this? You think that one won't have planted this story? You think that one won't, I think no John planted it. That's his way of saying ladies I'm on the market again. Okay, John fully planted that story. Duranda totally planted that story. I don't think Duranda totally 100% I think John did, I think John did to make himself look like a victim and to be like hey, I'm single

Hey, and also I It's like more school but the but deep breath So during this doing the thing you know, I like how for years my expectations have just grown. You know, I just need to find a better partner. Someone who appreciates that when I put up a gate, it lasts for a long time, even after you move out, okay? No one said thank you for that gate. It's just standing, it's just standing.

Durrinda too. Yeah, so she's broken up with Jon, and she's like, you know, I love her if you feel care, but I feel care, because we love each other. You know, I just don't know, you know, I love it if you care, but I feel care about it because we love each other. You know, I just don't know, you know, you know, you grow, I'm growing, Jams grown so much, he can't even fit in the underwear I bought him two months ago, so he's growing. Here, she's had life goals.

I need age six. That's the only wooden thing. We go back to Leo's apartment and Loan's like, well, I mean, the truth is that the need for John has basically dropped off. She found a way to blanket. I mean, at point what else do you need right so I mean John is basically rebound I mean she was this is nothing against John. I mean John is John is basically like an overgrown slug in clean stands Right that's just who we as God I love him for it, right? But you know to renders just out grown him which is amazing because who never thought that anything could outgrow John

Am I right am I right that's gonna be in the act. So then we get little snippets of all the ladies telling us how they feel about it. And the way I'm like, was I surprised? No. But it was weird to find out about it in page 6. And Lee is like, um, I don't know much about John. So, uh, I can tell you that I do know a lot about Richard. I mean, apparently he talks to her in piles of chains on the sidewalk Apparently She was really triggered by the movie it she thought it was gonna be a romance and turns out that red balloon really screwed her up And Sony was like well now she's single like the rest of us and we're about to say, not surprised.

Oh, I knew it was coming. I knew before she knew, okay? I actually knew so many things before she knew about, okay? For instance, did you know that quarters are actually just money? They're not rich, how about that? And then Tim's like, you know what I mean? It's weird to find out from Page Six because the woman who says she needs to share everything. And she shares some buttons. And she's like, I'm not gonna die. Well, Tim's like calm down. You're just in your testimonial. What are you so crazy about?

Martin's behind her, roughing her shoulders, swording water into her mouth. Yeah, you do it, kid. You do it, kid. You can do it kid you do it kid Firemen just throws a football at her like Marsha Brady second Marsha Brady reference of the episode so Durinda's like, you know, I just want to be super selfish with myself right now I can't just what I want you know what I need a house cat, okay? He wants to be an house outdoor cat. It's like open the door and he goes yeah, and I'm like

Yeah, kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty. I'm gonna kill you kitty kitty kitty. I'm gonna kill you Hey kitty kitty. Oh touch this pan kitty kitty. Hey touch this pan kitty. I guess what's a hot pan? Get a hot tin roof. Am I right? John and a hot tin roof Yeah, Durinda's loving her dogs and cats references Because when he had that pan she's like he's like a he's like a dumb dog What does she say if she called it? She said something like, I'm cat. And he's a dog. And dogs don't know how to put on heaven, man. When they hold the pain and they lick out the pan.

Because dogs are stupid. So the man's like, you know what I'd love to do for Durinda? I thought maybe we could go apple picking or maybe a maze could be fun. You'd like the maize lia, you know, confined spaces where you can't find your way out as much as you desperately want to Maybe we can bury you alive and you'll feel like you finally have a master bedroom. Yeah Maybe we ought to get you a bigger coffee table too. I'm like I like that Lewins somehow brought Apple Orchard Topic into dissing her comfortable. Yeah, it's just like, you have to go Apple picking, go in a hay ride,

go in a maze, and maybe find you a bigger comfortable to. So then all the girls are meeting up in a big luxury van to take the ride to the Apple market and Elise is there and she's like, okay, I've got everything. I've got the blankets. I've got a sweater. I've got all the pills. That's why they keep Elise around. Yeah. She's bringing a whole stockpile of pills. Well, it is here's the plan. As soon as we get to the orchard, I'll be doing a 1pm performance and then after that, we'll be having lunch by the pumpkin patch or as Carol Radswell would call it, the Luan head patch, which I do not appreciate.

There's also a corn maze, there's a pumpkin picking, hay rise, winery, tasting later, complimentary capillaries, performances, I won't say who's performing, but you may know her. Oh, be great time. And some you're like, well, I'm very excited to be with the girls, but I'm not so excited to drink more wine. I'm more excited for, you know, some cider being outside, being with my girls. It's gonna be a healthy day with not drinking. After 6pm.

So, uh, yes, Remarters goes apple cider. So then, uh, so he, and then I was, oh, it also, I mean, what about this van? Hello! Now you guys have to see what it's like to be on the road with a cabaret star. Welcome to the Reels. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? So then we get a close-up of the side. Weed orchards and vineyard. And then it's like, it's like a weed orchard.

I love weeds. It's crazy. Yeah. And like country music's playing, it's like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like,

they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they like, they go into this like space where they where I mean, I guess it is like an orchard slash

whatever I think. Yeah, so they go in and there's this like very lovely woman named Erica who's kind of like, okay, just try to solve off. I thought we could maybe do like an apple like a cider toast and everything and they all are just like looking at her like Give us the one. It was like the walking dead. They were like hear our brains here. We please have the brains So torinda comes over with that huge glass of wine. We've seen in the previous like Lailies, look at the glasses really big. You can just have one glass, though, right? And so I was like, you know, I'm not in the mindset to drink today, but I'm with my girlfriends and they got wine. I mean, am I gonna miss out on this?

Hell to the no, give me that wine! So so I'm just like trying to take pictures of everything. They're like, put that in the phone, so you know, right? And so they're quiet, they don't have anything to talk about. So Elise is like So Duranta what's going on with John? And then goes, of course, Elise the instigator. Thank God, because I didn't want to ask, but I definitely want to know. You know that Elise spending all season instigating arguments. Wow, wow, we'll never forget her. all season instigating arguments. Wow, wow, we'll never forget her. Um, so at least the MCGET or what? So Durin is like, you know, we're just having a reset, you know?

It's like, you know, I always have a seat at my table, specifically because we had one custom built to support him, you know? But you know what? Like, you know what? I've changed. And you know, the person that John read is different and I'm a person where I stand is now listen I am saying is Richard. He was a banker. He had his own business. He Red books John he cleans stains He reads the comics from Buzuka Joe. He's two different guys And she's like, you know when I met John Jail I'll be just a different person and run and goes, yeah, you were broken. She's like, yeah, we're okay.

You know, you grow a lot and it's been such a good process. You know, but now it's the whole house breaking up. You know, now I think this is even richy cats anymore. Now it's my fucking house, okay? Let me be riches and I'm calling page 6 to tell them I'm breaking up with riches. That's it. I'm having with Richard. And you're just like, you know what,

Abby, he's not need the saddest stuff because when you open yourself up, you know, you open yourself up to criticism. So, Tinsley is like, just pissed. And honestly, kind of rightly so, I think. She's like, but then she's like so whiny about it. She's like, oh, yeah, it's called sharing. It's what we all do. And it's like, you're really hard, especially when people judge you for it, mom.

And during this like, listen, you don't come in, don't come in. My gum life longer than your relationship. And Tinsy's like, gum. Yeah, my gum, my chewing gum, my chewing gum, your mint. Listen, you chewing gum mint. Why is everything that Durinda is calling tinsley today? Wonderful smelling like every different Listen, I mean let's also disregard the fact that I've been chewing the same trick clip for 20 years Okay, let's not use that timeline, but metaphorically

And she goes I didn't know you for my first 50 years and I don't want to know you in the last 50 Like Durinda Jesus Jesus you're such a mean trollable woman why you being so nasty and you're the one fucking vile yeah and you're the one who's been spearheading this whole thing about like we don't know teensy we want to know the real teensy she doesn't show us and then she's like I didn't know you were the fifth first 50 years and I don't want to know you've been like wow you are I mean like Please like obviously she is in like a world of her and she's just unleashing it on tinsley But like girl get yourself to some therapy and and harness that energy. It's not it's so mean It's so gross to watch and she

She just get I mean it still is funny. It's hilarious. It's hilarious She's like I mean not only are you not value added? You're not not value value added, which is the negative of the value of a positive addition subtraction mint. You know what you are? You're an unvalue added, so you have extra unvalue, which sort of makes you extra, which by the way is a gum. My extra gum lasts longer than your extra gum. That's what I've got to say We're not even in this game or bits Yeah, and everyone's like to Rindya don't say she's invisible. It's not nice. Just say what she would be all think. She's pathetic going nowhere in life It's much better and eyelashes the biggest shoes

Okay, yeah She's like you know to render the past would have these little outburst of ink up and watch Worse lately and Elise goes well, can you guys just say one nice thing about each other and to her and is like no No about each other and drink is like no no go sweat lashes is that nice she's the ghost with eyelashes I can't even feel okay I think teensy needs a nap I think you need a nap because the bestie king guy already came okay that's what I guys say that's nice about her yeah floating lash war I make you a floating island sure they're red nice Monos like whoa

Derinda is using tinsley as a punching bag okay We all know if you use anyone's a punching bag. It's Bethany Frankl. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry She pushes every way in her life. I'm sorry. Yeah, she's like she's using her punching bag Thank god tinsley is a friend. I don't want it to be me Please good Mona I mean like Ramona's acting as if she's, I mean, let's not forget Ramona is also the queen

of turning people into punching bags. Between the two of them, they like, Martin thinks that he is the boxing instructor here. No, it's the two of them. Yeah. So Leo's like, guys, we have to hold each other up and not bring each other down. Okay, and she's like, guys, we have to hold each other up and not bring each other down, okay.

And she's like, you know what? I can't edit myself into dumbness, okay? I can't edit myself into stupidity. Like, well, you're not speaking intelligibly. So, I don't know who you're judging. It's like, like, what? Somebody criticizes your tweet, but they spelled their criticism wrong.

Yeah, it's like, and let's not forget that like two seconds earlier Durrinda was saying like, I really, my kitty hair, I really, my kitty hair, I'm cheesy. Sam, I can't get myself into stupidity. I'm like, you were acting kind of stupid just now. So she's like, you know, you seem like you're very insensitive to anything going on in my life and you always seem like a, you know what, you just seem like a bully and a mean person. You're judging me in my life and I don't judge you or yours. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Remoters like calm down. Calm down. Let me finish. Let me finish. I want for Garos Barrow. I'm back. I'm back. Son, you're like oh really why didn't you call her when they broke up then why are you trying to get in on the conversation?

You didn't even call to Rinda What is that all you do with anything? What are you standing up for Durinda for? This was you last year dude. Did Durinda call tinsley when she broke up with Scott? How about that and Durinda fully inserted herself into that one. So then the way I was like, they always try to placate the one who's the meanest. You know, so that this soaps, not aimed on them.

And I like that Ramona's at least advanced enough to see that that's what she's doing. She's like, well, you know, it's either abused Tinsley or the rest of us. So go for it during that time. Girls, girls, girls, girls, can we reel this in? Can we, Cabaret's, girls, girls, girls. Can we reel this in? Can we, Cabaret starts speaking? Hello, girls, can we reel this in?

I haven't even been able to tell you all about how tiny Leo's apartment was. Huh, it's horrifying. And Ramona's a tinsley? Look at me, tinsley. He's like, no, that is anyone in here. Tinsley's like having a fit. Ramona tells us as much as I want to help tinsley,

it's hard to understand her in the high pitched help Tinsy. It's hard to understand I'm trying in the high pitched voice, okay? Like it's hard to take a serious. I know why don't Two Shay Tins is like you know your judgment on my life with my relationship and breathing. I don't care Well for someone who doesn't care he says you say my life is insignificant You feel a lot of shit about me Terrible noise. I don't know. It's terrible noise over here. Yeah, no, he's only his noise, okay So it turns like runs off crying and the one's like, ten see stop stop quietly though because you're being very low

But stop be quiet about it quiet quiet more quietly, please be quiet about it, quiet, quiet, more quietly please. I'll be right back. Listen, don't cry, don't let it get to you. I think what you really should do right now is maybe log on to iTunes and perhaps purchase this wonderful inspirational song I heard called Feeling Giovanni. All proceeds go to me, thank you. It's like, I can't even say anything without people saying I'm too loud. It's like, shhh. Tinsley, it's like a... I can't even say anything without people saying I'm too loud

Tinsley it's like a wise woman once sang We don't need another hero We don't need another way All we want is what's beyond the cabaret. You know what Obama does, Tinsley? He slowed dances with Michelle to a beautiful song cause she's a levy. And that's what I need you to do right now.

It's like stop, listen to me, listen! And then back at the table, Elise is like, listen, Tarenda, if I said the same exact thing that Tinsley said to you, you wouldn't have reacted that way to me it's you go stop Shaco analyzing me right you have no idea what my relationship with Tinsley is so I'm not psycho analyzing Dora not you don't have to be a therapist as she's fucking insane right now what the hell Yeah, so it's like I have suffered

Severed over what Durinda said about my ex-legendip about me as a person and I am sorry But the reason I am yelling is because I am upset. I am upset. I am a rich white lady and I am upset right now So you have to listen to me Lance I well, I'll tell you who's upset That sushi that didn't get to get eaten because of a tiny tiny little coffee table All-time who's upset all those coffees that thought they had a table to sit on and there was no room Um, this might be a good time to mention the gossip I read on our Facebook group. Oh Okay, what's the gossip?

entertaining watch what crap ends life and loving it. What? It's that these people were saying I don't know if they heard it from reddit I don't know where they heard it because I'm a terrible news person. Okay, but They're saying that Tinsley was never dating a guy named Bruce that she was dating Scott But she didn't want anybody giving her shit And that's why she's finished Chicago the whole time because it was Scott the whole time and There's no pictures of Bruce and he wear it nobody knows who Bruce isn't this is all big ruse from Tinsley Tinsley

But then somebody commented like way later in the day because of course I kept checking it because this is very important to me apparently and like way later in the day, because of course I kept checking it, because this is very important to me, apparently. And they were like, no, no, he's a friend of my family. I know Bruce, he's a real person, but I don't know if that's true or not, but there you go. It's a real one. But now, just because it's a rumor,

now I totally believe it, because that's how I am, I'm very goalable. I don't know, I think I know who the Bruce is, and I'm not gonna say what his last name is, but it rhymes with, Bilanche, okay? Wouldn't that be amazing? That would be the most amazing thing.

It's Bruce Bilan, it just stops making so much time with your family. I thought we were dating, it turns out he was just workshopping quips the entire time. Here's Spring, my mama told me not to use it. He said he's gonna use me in the Academy Awards. I thought I was gonna be on screen, but it was just a little joke for Chris Rock.

So then back at the table, Durinda is yelling at Lee and Al, because he was like, why can't you guys just read nice to each other? I don't understand why you guys just can't be nice. And Durinda's like, she shouldn't have sat there saying well, that's what I went through my relationship Had some fucking compassion and then tell me another time that you have a Junior chef to throw two cents in there and she knew she was gonna trigger me and that's not being a good friend That's being a fucking bitch. I mean she just goes on this whole That's being a fucking bitch, right? I mean, she just goes on this whole rant.

I mean, it's not for like another two minutes. I mean, my- T'Rinda is like Mr. Monopoly in terms of giving away a two cents. Okay, she has given away dollars upon dollars of thoughts to everyone over the years. And guess what? I like it. I support it. But don't act like- Don't act upset that someone offered their two cents in this group. Okay, T'Rinda, it's in page six. You're talking about it at the table and

honestly Tinsley has gone actually through relatable experiences, so like you just need to settle down Yeah, and she finished this around she goes she wants a fucking bitch. Well, she got a fucking bitch Didn't she and I got it warm? It's stinky and I sculpted warm. That's the same thing. Warm. Meanwhile, there are other people there at this orchard. Let's not act like this is all having isolation.

There's all these tables of people who are just like, oh, what a lovely day to go, Apple picking and, oh, God, there are crazy ladies fighting about being a bitch serving at warm. Yes, I notice no one's telling Dorenda to be quiet. Dorenda, who's standing, screaming at the top of her lungs, spewing spit everywhere.

I mean, Dorenda is like a corona nightmare and I wonder if that's why we're all turning against her. We're all still having to stay home, and then we watch this woman like spit all over her. It just seems unfair. So then Lia's like, well, you know, the thing is that like my heart hurts pretentiously because she's 44 and she wants a kid and we all have kids. We all have a beacon of happiness in our lives, she just doesn't have that you know at which point then becomes the classic Let me one up everyone with my pain so during this like my heart please for me because I buried my husband And Sonia's like my heart pleads for me because I lost my husband and my heart pleads for me

Because I didn't fully sell at the grammar see theater last time I performed in it And Sonia's like, uh, oh yeah, Durinda's like, you know what my life's with shit, I'm ready to die. Okay, I'm so sorry about Richard, the Richard card is over now. You can't just fucking pull the way, is that how you get on the fucking subway too? Just swipe the Richard card for whatever you need, you need your discounted fucking marshals, just swipe the card. Durinda, the world is full of fucking people in pain, okay? It's called being a human being. Cut your shit. You can't just be that way to everybody else because you got hurt one time. Everybody's

hurt every day! Well, I mean, I actually, I actually think she still can play the Richard Kirk, because I think that like death and mourning is like, it's a hard thing, especially if you haven't dealt with it, and she clearly is not dealt with it which is really I think what this season's kind of about for her so I actually I understand it however it's not an excuse to treat other people like shit you know yeah that's what I'm saying you can't just pull that card every time you want to abuse someone as a bullshit yeah but I do like how when she's like I wanted to die when Richard I wanted to die when Richard died and Sony is like

She didn't get out of bed like she's like she's like she's like yeah, it was amazing. She wouldn't get a bed She was just so lost wow Yeah, and Lea's like yeah, but you have that love you know you had that main love of your life and all that. And Dorenda's like, my life is terrible. In my childhood, yeah, I wanted to come to a whole and die. And so now Dorenda is like pretending she's sobbing. I think she was sobbing. I think because she went like this.

She was like, she's just like at one point like completely. It's like, well, because they distracted her. I mean, she is sort of like like, like, she is like a cat. Like they put like a laser pointer up because they was like, well, I think that you and Tinsley have nothing in common. She's like, yeah, we don't have anything in common, okay? So Darius like immediately switches. She's like, I don't have to band with the mother, okay? Which by the way, no one asks her to mother, FYI. She's like, I don't have the band with

the mother. I have the house. I have a broken rib. I have a very hot pan that still has some cool down. I'm going through a transit. I'm gonna be 55. This isn't my plan. This is not the story I wrote. Okay, you know what? You know what the story I wrote is?

It was a spec script for a low-norder S for you. Okay, that's my story. Oh, I did that story. I was fantastic in it. Thanks for the role. Luehad was recently on a crime drama. Wasn't she? Or was that a long order? She was on like some lifetime movie or something, but she was on an episode of Law and Order. Yeah. But by the way, no one told Dorenda she has to be Tinsley's mother. I feel like that's,

I think that maybe that's the crux of it, which is that I think that maybe Drinda wanted to take on that role of being Tinsley's mother and Tinsley kind of didn't let her do that. And I think she maybe feels in some ways rejected by that. And then it's like, no, I don't want, it's almost like I'm trying to be her mother. And she's making it so hard that it's like, I don't have time for it to be this hard to be her mother right now, you know? I don't, I think that it's, I mean, I respect your opinion, but I think that it's easier than that. I think Dorinda sees this girl who comes onto her show,

you know, and she's not sharing everything that Dorinda feels like she should be sharing and she's getting away with just like being famous and being extremely rich. She doesn't even need to show for money because she's rich as fuck and it's just not fair. Yeah. You have to render, you know. I mean, I think they could, I think they are, they don't have to be mutually exclusive.

I think they, I think they could, they could be both of those things and because Sonia says that too because she's like, this is not the story I wrote and Sonia goes, yeah, to raise this girl. I'm like, what are you guys talking about? You are under no obligation to raise tinsley, okay? It's an impossible thing. I've never asked him for anything. She's crazy. Dermond had just turned on her for no reason.

It just seemed really weird and it still is really weird. Yeah, she's done to do everything right. I was never dishonest. I was a good mother. I bought mints for everyone. And this is what she get. It's not fair you get is not fair It's not fair. Yeah, so Leah's like I have sympathy for Dorenda

But what is her husband dying have to do with Chinsley exactly and to read this like First thing in the morning, I was like, hello, wine. Time to forget. And then I was like, you know, Hannah, and I was looking to mirror and I was like, I don't like who's looking back at me. I was like, hey, you better back it up. And with the reflection on back, I was like, I backed it, but then it backed. But like, oh, you're going to copy me reflection. You're going to be, I'm looking at you, and then mirror. And she's like, you know what? I give you a commitment to be nice to the team. Keep it.

You know the other thing. If you, if you, if you call me a dog, I'm going to park every time. Okay. All right. Good person. How about I just call you a good person. Let's see if that works. Are you a cat or you a dog also?

Call me a dog. I mean, I'm you know meow because I'm an indoor cat dog So now tins now tins. He's just wandering around the this this orchard just muttering to herself in front of strangers She's like I could speak on my own no one likes me and everything my try I get scratched down So I'm just gonna sit in my own corner and put on my tennis shoes because these rats are not working for me I don't like tennis shoes mom. I don't care. I knew I should have brought them and I'm glad I did mom And Durinda is talking to goats and she's like oh liquid you goat you've been emotionally abused I can tell I was like Jesus. I'm sure everybody on this little ranch has been has felt emotionally abused at this point

I know seriously So now so then like Tinsley's like, I wanna climb a tree. So Leo's like, yeah, cool. Bitch, we're gonna climb a tree. Yeah, I'm like, okay, sure. So Tinsley's like, do you think that climbing a tree will fix my problems right now?

At least like climb that tree, bitch. Climb that tree. And then they go on a hay ride. Don't, don't, don't. So they go over to the hay ride and Sonia is just like, Oh my god, look everybody. It's the owner of the vineyard. He is rich.

Hey, I want to take a ride on the Sonia Chichens. That's a big boy. It's just like opening her legs and closing her legs at him. She's like, I legs and closing her legs at him She's like I like a hay ride as in I ride a guy and say hey Why let's do this again You know goat stands for greatest of all time and that's what I've been told to hey ride So the way I'm like well, I mean we all like to drink and have fun. Some do it accidentally when they think it's just some water on the table.

But anyway, sloppy during the day is not my favorite look for Sonia. I'll tell you what my favorite look is for Sonia. Gray, sweatsuit, am I right? Am I right Leia? Am I right? No one? Okay. What you sound like?

Oh so Jeremy's like, make this go fastest, too slow. I mean, she's going to crawl. And somebody's like, yeah, we're not a cow. We need to go faster. She's just women of our caliber need to go faster. But she also probably said we're not a cow too. Ladies, I have an announcement. Cabaret Star announcement.

The hay ride was just a way to get you off that table so we can have a very serious conversation about a corn maze, we're going in a corn maze, isn't it, great? I'm gonna be the best. I'm gonna be the best. I only need a corn maze. And Sunny goes, is that pot? Guys, it's eggplant.

She's like, I love eggplant. I thought it was hot. How many acres is this? 47? What are you rich? Oh my god. Let's eggplant on that pot. Bush get over here. He's like, uh, let me show you. Pot. Parmesan. It's great. So he she's just hanging off of this poor guy. And so the woman just go into the corn maze and and Dorenda Dorenda there's like two groups and Dorenda Leading one group and they like gets like a fork in the corn maze. She goes, okay everyone stay here I'm gonna do some kind of this

Okay, I was just see okay guess what to the right corn stalks and to left is corn stalks and you know what There's a big open area over there, so John must have fallen over. Okay, let's go that way I'm just actually supposed to hear a in the sink following me to where everything. Cause right now, okay, this is the end of it. I'm ready. Maybe some baby. I mean, while Sonya has like grabbed a piece of corn off, she grabbed like a whole thing of corn off the stock.

And it's just put it in my bag, bitch. Shhh. I'm friends with young friends with young. It's okay. Shut up. It's free food. It's free put in my bag, bitch. Shh, I'm friends with you. I'm friends with you on earth. It's okay, shut up. It's free food. It's free food. Give me that corn, free food.

I'm like, the funny part about that is that the corn that they grow for corn mases is usually like the shit corn that they give to cows. Like that, it's not fit for human consumption. Oh yes, I've seen the Netflix documentary about corn. Thanks. Oh really? Did they talk about corn mazes? I'm well educated. No, there's a Netflix documentary about corn. Forget what it's called. Corn? I don't know. Look up Netflix corn if you want to watch it. It was actually pretty interesting.

It was about like two hipster guys who buy a corn field so they could learn about farming or something. I heard about that. And then they go through this whole thing to get corn. And at the end, they're like, this tastes like shit. And they're like, oh, yeah, we just grow it because it's subsidized. I'm like, what the hell? I just like the idea of like Sonia waking up the next day. And she's like, oh, look, I got some pre corn in the cob. Just like, it's corn that is made for pigs and chickens.

She's eating it like it's delicious, delicious. So then we hear Tinsley screaming like if packs of cigarettes could scream that's what they would sound like. It's like oh my god. You sound terrible girl. And I was like, she's screaming and everyone's like, what the hell is going on? And then we see that she's watching Sonya and Leah P in the Corn Maze. Oh my god. They're peeing on the trail that children get to walk on. And then on top of that, when she's done, she starts shaking her ass up against the

Corn Sox. She's like, yeah, this feels good. You can finally get some action from Mr. Corn. Am I right, everyone? And then like, and then Tenzie hands her like a leaf and she's like wiping her vagina with a leaf. This is pretty rugged. Yeah, and Leah, you see that Leah's already done it.

She just throws a leaf in the, yeah. Inemies. And Leah's like, well, there's definitely two Mrs. Morgan's. There's, there's the one that's like lives on the Upper East side and hates tattoos and then there's the one that like wipes our ass with leaves. I don't think they'd like each other. Yeah and then Dorinda is still muddling around at the corn mishas. You know what? Tinsley would be good to sit coin stock. Okay, Tinsley would be good to coin stock. And then and thenann, she's leading her group,

because they're just going back and forth as they go through it and they're like, ah, guess what everyone, we found it! The cafe started, let us to free them! Oh, oh, is this the wrong way? Oh, sorry, sorry. Huh, that's not what we were in there. Turns out, I'm sorry, I thought we made it because, uh, we reached a very small confined space and I thought, naturally's apartment was the final destination, turns out it's just more

part of the maze. So Ramona naturally cheats, but they cheat their way into some guzibo or something in the middle. So they're not near the truck and at least because that's not fair, they cheated better than we did. And what's also funny is that they just decide that this is the finish line. Even though it's like in the middle of the maze. We made it! We made it! Whoa, we made it

at the end, okay? And like, no, the end is when you get out to freedom again. Like, no, sorry, I'm sorry, we made it. We're here. This is in the destination. I don't know what it is, okay? But this is the destination now, okay? Trust me, I'm an amazing guy okay So they get back on the hayride truck or whatever and so you think what about Oh, yeah, so then to run Durinda starts telling Grumana here. We're thank you for listening to me The other night I was so weak then I Yeah, so we can so glad I have another chance to talk about Richard. Let's talk about Richard's the more right now Romana's like oh my god, you're just feeling pain, okay? You know what?

And she goes, I love him, Roman, it just turns it right back to her. She's like, you know what, we're feeling pain. It's like someone said to me at the end of my marriage, like he cheated, but it doesn't even matter, because we were just in different places, and that's why he cheated. I mean, he felt inadequate, that's it. He's like, what does this have to do with Roman? What does this have to do with anything Ramona? Yeah, exactly.

You know, it's okay to move on. It's okay, you know? And Runa's like, you know, I'm sort of happy. You know, I like page six, it's almost like they said something that I almost couldn't say. You know, she was sort of worked out, you know? You know, and I never tell you something. I don't know if I've mentioned this before.

John will always have a seat at my dinner table, okay? At least I try to eat some food off my plate and then it's like get it back Yeah, get out of the table you go back to your madam pull that where you can have your own dinner, okay? You know my plate and then she goes Well, I don't want anyone to walk away thinking their life is less because they met during the medley Yeah, I don't think they'd be happy they met their in the medley. Yeah, I'm within the rehab, and they met their in the medley. It's just why would you even say that? And I thought she,

because she goes, I don't want to do mean things. I don't want to say mean, hope some things to people. So I hope Chan comes over for dinner. I'm like, what the hell? I thought we were, at least gonna do your typical Dorenda drunk thing

where you're like a horrible mean abusive alcoholic, and then you go, I didn't mean it, why can't we just be friends? Tinsley, I don't understand. But no, she wasn't even talking about that. Yeah, I don't want people to think their life is worse because they met them in the middle of the day. And you know what, like, and you know, I just, I want people to feel happy.

I feel about people feeling rich by me. Not tinsley, I mean, she's a man, okay? So, a man don't care. We don't care about men's feelings, okay? Yeah, basically. And so Ramona is like, you know what? To rent that has some things to work out. Okay, because she knows she's in pain.

And she's really gonna heal that pain. Because if she doesn't heal that pain, she gets her starting. Oh, it's the rest of us. The rest of us are hurting. Okay. I thought she was saying to rent this hurting. And she's like, no, we're gonna hurt, okay?

So now that you go up, now it's fine time for them to wind it. Even though they're all schlitzed. And so there's this guy named Christop, or Christop, or I don't remember, Christop. And Christop. And we're like, hey, you good looking guy, you good looking guy, yeah. And I was like, try paying attention, okay.

I paid a lot of nothing for this, okay? So Sonny's like, hmm, I think I'm in love with this right now Oh Sony is eating cheese. I'm in love with this right now and it just makes your pussy wetter and turns it's like And during the goes yeah blue cheese does that And when it goes the fucking juice cleanse There goes the fucking juice cleanse And and Luan's like wow it seems to be happening a lot when so near drinks. She's just losing it I mean she's becoming a character of herself

I think Risa was like So we wrote this reasoning here at this minute sort of what we're known for is a very sweet wine and so he was like I would use it as lubricant Christop you know what I'm saying I can't like inappropriate baby way away and we're gonna go Sonya but with the last time you had sex it seemed really neat he's like last night I got pounded yeah I pounded by the whole that during football team yeah

feels like RIP. So they, Kristoff, turns from the way and he goes, um, there's a little bit of a hot mess going on right there. The man's like, yes, but she's hour little hot mess and she does love men. He's like, ew. Why? He's like, ew, the male body's so gross. He goes, who wants to look at a naked dude?

No body, and the man goes, me! And he's like, so you like dick pics? And she's like, no one would dare send me a dick pic. Not even a pirate after I asked for him. No one would dare do that. She goes, I'm the kind of person I don't shop online that much. I like to touch things and feel things. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, donut, I'm not into it And she's like, what does that have to be about big dick? I can't just be about two people liking each other guys

And Sony goes never touch a small dick and then she points to tinsy goes she'll do anything with a small dick If she thinks she's gonna get a bracelet out of it They just tear each other down So relentlessly fucking terrible and Sonia of all people saying, yeah, hey Sonia, love to see you on another date with that 90 year old guy who owned a fucking bread shop in Hoboken. Yeah.

So then Durrindo starts babbling about like, yeah, I don't know if I need to get lit. I also could not follow what she was saying. She was saying something like, you know, he was taking the morning, you know, it's a wake up in the morning. You want to have that wine. You're looking yourself on the reflections like, what are the sex with my reflection right now? No, I don't want

it. But at 11 o'clock, you just turn the lights off and you're like, look, reflection, you can have sex with me right now. She was saying, you know, I don't get this like people saying, I'm so horny. I've never said I'm so horny. I mean, what happened to waking up next to somebody? You know, you wake up and they turn on the lights so you can go to the bathroom. And Elise is like, yeah, like, when I was first divorced, I missed being held. And she goes, yeah, you know, like, peeing and having the lights turned on. I mean, it's romance. That's what I'm talking to that. Quadrants to get her. No one's holding you.

So, uh, Leah's like, I don't even want sex lately. And so, he's like, all I've won is sex! And Lee is like, all right, time to go! And then- Someone cut her off from the blue cheese. When she says time to go, the guy, the guy who was talking to her, he's like, oh, I can turn from the bar, like... Trying to get his camera time in there before they hit the bus. Oh, good. Another episode where they're all just drunk and messes. So good.

So good. So good. Thank you guys for tuning in this week to our fun little podcasts. And I hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend. And we'll be back on Monday for some top show. Bye. Bye. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.