Watch What Crappens - RHONY Classic Live From Foxwoods: Tomfoolery Part 1

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

We're live at the Foxwoods casino to recap the classic Real Housewives of New York Episode "Tomfoolery". Please tell me it's not about Tom...you know the rest. This is part one. Part two will be up tomorrow! Thanks so much for being with us! This week's bonus is a Train Snaps episode from Boston and you can find all bonuses and videos by joining Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, la val. Thank you so much for being with us. This is actually our final stop on our Cheetah brand tour. At the Fox Woods Casino, we went back into the classic episode called Tom Fulury. Real Housewives of New York. This is split into two parts. The other part will be out tomorrow.

We love you guys. Thanks for supporting our tour. Thanks for supporting our show. Thank you for everything. The next part will be up tomorrow. Love you guys. Oh, PS, if you're bored on vacation, go sign up for Patreon, get you some bonus episodes. We did a few traveling this year that were so much fun. Airport snaps, train snaps, but we just mock people relentlessly in airports and now train stations. So enjoy those.

Thanks again for being here. Love you guys! Kids won, athletes won, there's so much that's happened. Welcome to the final show of the Cheetah Brand Tour at Foxwoods Casino in Connectikets. Yes. Thank you so much for being here and Foxwoods, thank you so much for having us. Walking into a casino just reminds me of home. Yes. I walked in here and I said, this is where dad lost our house. Who's feeding me? This stage was built on those winnings or losing.

Wow, yeah, it's so- There has been a lot of Lebanese stress and brokenness that has gone into building this place. So, you're welcome, fuckers. This is our very first time doing a show in a casino, which is... And in Connecticut. Yeah.

Which is, yes, very vocal Connecticut crowd over here. It is amazing. I cannot believe people aren't still change smoking. I don't know how to deal with that. Yeah. I was kind of raised in the casino. I was in them all the time.

And I've also talked about being raised very religiously. My parents are very, very Christian. And seeing my dad asked people to hold hands around a crap's table and pray. I mean, there's just nothing like that, you know? Well, what's funny is, you know, obviously tonight we're going to be recapping one of the greatest episodes of Real Housewives of all time. Yeah! Real Housewives of New York.

But I realize, as much as I make fun of these women, I see myself in a lot of them because definitely walk around this casino anytime someone makes eye of these women, I see myself in a lot of them because definitely walk around this casino anytime someone makes eye contact with me, I turn into Luan and I'm like, hi! Hello! Hi, you're here for the show? You're here for the show?

You have no idea who I am, do you? Literally like every corner I'm doing that. Hi! Someone was waving past me and I was like, oh hi, you're here for the show? And I'm like, who the fuck are you now? What's the fucking show? I'm waiting for my subway foot law.

You're not Jerry Seinfeld, you fucking loser. What does Uncle Fester do? Concerts now? This is also hallowed ground. Some of you may not realize this, but this is ground zero for a whole Bravo show. Game of Crowns has heritage right here the owner of this casino his wife was a cast member on that amazing show I recommend everyone go and watch it.

Yes it was an amazing show we've got someone dressed like her right here in the front row of Colleen like amazing tribute to an amazing amazing show that um oh sorry I didn't need to unmute. No I just I said a butt, but I had no further sentence. We just sort of have little words we say. And then we just sort of trail off. Seafood makes you drunk as fuck. I'm going to tell you that right now. I don't know, I don't know how you people live like this every day. I haven't eaten this much flesh since I was in my 20s, all right?

I've eaten so much seafood, and I literally came in here today, tripping balls, okay? I've wanted to make out with half of the ladies I've seen with tanks out there. I don't even care, I'm like, get over here, sit on my lap. Also, I've already hit three roulette numbers. Yeah, he's up. He's up. Also, this has been a very... this is first of all, look how glamorous

is our faces are up there on the wall. Hi, hi, hi. It's exciting. This is dangerous. I told them we can't stop staring at ourselves if you put this up there. We're going to do the whole thing like this. It's a weird, tired thing like this. But they drew us so well here. They They sent we took a train down from Boston They picked us up in a stretch limousine from the train station then look out there

Oh wait, let's go. Oh, you were taking a picture of us. Yeah, yeah, this is our album cover. No, you look at your own camera. Oh Look we almost look like a Heather DeBro sitcom poster We almost look like a Heather DeBro sitcom poster. So we were on the train coming over and we were like, we sit in business class because we never do that. We're like, we're working, we're not rich. But for the train, it's like another $20. We're like, should we do it? So we did do it.

And we ended up sitting next to his mother and daughter, who were so sweet. And the daughter is like, are you podcasters? Because of course, we were sitting there shit talking on our phones, recording a bonus episode, mocking the people on the train, right? Yeah. Thinking nobody could hear us.

And she's like, do you guys have a podcast? And we're like, yeah. And she's like, I'm going to be a neurologist for babies. And I was like, I'm going to be a neurologist for babies. And I was like, oh my God. She's like, 16 year old girl, very, very smart, looking already at like great colleges. Like she has a future ahead of her, but she's like, very excited that we have a podcast. She's like, I'm going to listen. I was like, if you ever heard of Patreon, you future rich bitch.

Get the hell on Patreon right now. I'll start you up with a dollar account. Get your computer open. I am a baby with neurologic, neurologic, and I'm going to be a little bit more patient. Get the hell on Patreon right now. I'll start you up with a dollar account. Get your computer open. I am a baby with neurological problem. Sorry sign up. So She's like, I'm gonna listen to you guys and so she puts it on and we don't really hear anything which I'm like, well fuck her You know, we lost her. So then towards the end. She's like, oh, I was just listening to you. It's fine. And we said what episode we're

E-listing to you she said top chef. She's not as horrible. She tuned into our top chef recaps out of context. So she thinks that we are just shaming gale simmons. It's pure. Pure. Here are these bad shaming, idiot shaming, pattern shaming, gale simmons, who is not fat and has no problem with anything. But that's like our made up joke that we go on with. So we've corrupted the youth. This Connecticut. Yeah, that's what we're trying to say already.

Hopefully we've crushed the tiny brain of a baby neurologist. Job well done. So anyway, we moved to the other car because the guys like, you're about to get it just stop. You have a West, are we past West, are we? We're about to get to whatever Lee we're across some water We see some fish over there see some boats over there to more water and some boats over there If Stephen King was probably here one time. We're like, okay, so you move to the dining cart. Yeah trash

I'm telling you everywhere we turn was people Oh, we're talking about trash and there was trash people. Oh, we're talking about trash. And there was trash too. These dudes were sitting at this table with this lady who I think Ben said she's like a lady from a 90s movie. Like a 90s new and war, the one who gets everyone in trouble. She's like, I'm sorry, I had to call David, I'm sorry, I did it.

Guys, everyone did everything. She's like, I am in trouble I had to call David, I'm sorry, I did it guys, everyone, everything. She's like, I am in trouble. Why am I so much trouble? And then by the end, she screws everybody in the movie. Okay, so that was one of the ladies. And then she was sitting with these two guys who were playing music on their iPhone. Like, it was a boombox in the fucking dining car, okay? What song were they playing?

I was just singing it. I think they were playing like sticks or something like that. I think they were playing like sticks or something like that. Oh, and have you ever seen the rain, which is not stick? Yes. Have you ever seen the rain? What a stupid question for a song, no sound like that. I want to know, have you ever seen the rain? I was like, this is pretty good, actually, but still do she to play that thing.

And I was like, that $20 made a huge difference. Now we know what it's like to be in business class. I will never sit in a diving car again. We've learned so much. It's one of many lessons that we've learned on this tour. And this is our last night of the Cheetah Brand tour. And we're really so glad. Makes us really happy because we have, we've got friends and family here. My parents are here, my cousins Stacey, my high school friends, your friends, your friends. And Sue, a Ling. Love you guys.

Sarah, Katie. What a family here. Back in. Just go through everyone alive. We're family. Back in. Just go through everyone alive. We're just going to name everyone in the theater and be like, good night everyone. So anyway, welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast

about all that crap and bravo that we just love to talk about. Oh. Previously, on the real housewives of New York City. Oh. Oh. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh? Yeah, I was before Thanksgiving. I was basically Tom's turkey, he was stuffing me. Well, Sonia, T.M. why, okay?

It was basically a turkey, fist up, me taking up my gizzards, stuffing it with jelly, cucumbers, cornbreads. Whoa, I kind of get it already, Sonia, okay? No more, okay? Spasically, the Xana Clause coming down my chimney, stepping a turkey into a stocking. So fucking it, fucking the stocking. Okay, you know what? Stop it, Sonya, okay?

Stop it. Whoa. Okay, Drintage, you're gonna give us a speech for the win? Yeah. Her yacht. Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, I wanna make a speech.

Okay, for the win. For Chump, sometimes two people come together and they meet each other. And even after two weeks, they know they're in love. They keep making, ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-ju. And you're going together? How do you come together? And you're going to be passed your back. You know, back it up. You're going back here.

You got it right here. You got it right here. know, back it up. You can eat back, you can eat back. You can eat back, you can eat back. You can eat back, you can eat back. You can eat back, you can eat back. Whoa, you know what, Tom? So crazy being here on a yacht. You know, you're about to marry the wind, because you remember, we went out, like three or four times, Tom, before I had time, we went out.

No, just like one time that we went out, like three or four times, Tom. Before I had time, we went out. Me and Tom. No, just like one time that we went out, actually. Yeah. Went to dinner. We went, we played some backgammon, stuck your penis inside of me. After you told me how to play backgammon. No, no, I'm pretty sure we just like shared an Uber home once and that's about it.

You basically, I was like an oven and you put a bun inside of me. You know what? That bun grew up to be my future podcast, partner slash best friend slash twin, every. No, I'm definitely not your daughter's father. Definitely not that, that's not me at all. Oh my gosh, you know what? I'm crowning. I'm giving birth to your baby right now.

Tom, don't you? No, it's not, not my baby. Not my baby. Never slept with you. No, I'm crowning a giving birth to your baby right now. Tom, don't you? No, it's not, not my baby. Not my baby. No, never slept with you. No, I didn't. Well, Sonia, what are you crying? Sonia, you should cry. Sonia.

Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia.

Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. You should be sad. You should be sad. It's like one of your vibrators decided to vibrate for only somebody else. What are you supposed to do? It's like a community vibrator. Now somebody else has a vibrator. How are we supposed to use vibrator if somebody else has a vibrator?

You just check the vibrator out, like a vibrator vibrator. Stop talking about Tom and say out of my business, you raise and face stupid women. Not doing anything but talking about the man who put the baby inside of me, okay? Seth! All right, all right, you know what? All right, I gotta say something. Okay, everyone, all right, Louie Ann,

I got a question for you, okay? Yes, yes, yes, yes, I am a singer. How do you have an in-ears meeting? I'm a good thing, okay, all right. Sure, I am a singer. How do you have it in you? It is me. Sure. Are you monogamous? You spread your pants all around the US. I'm down to have a midtown.

What's going on here? Monogamous. No, I speak French as well. English French. I'm going to miss that. Are you in an open relationship or a uniclo-is-relationship? How big is your vagina and how many people have been in it at one time?

How dare you? We're getting married. Our relationship is rock solid, and it will definitely last more than six months. And sensing. This is pure chaos this whole season. It is. We didn't know, someone was like,

you guys got the wrong episode. This isn't where she says, please say it's not about Tom. They're like, you got the wrong episode. It's the next episode. It's every episode, okay? The episode. Well, we realize is this is a 20-something episodes

of pure fucking chaos this whole year. I don't even know how we did it. And it feels like it was three years ago, right? It was not three years ago. Seven years, guys. You guys so much has changed in this seven years. First of all, the cutouts, the cutout dresses on this show. Bethany is wearing this, okay,

let's start with the theme song. D-d-d but then otherwise has no discernible melody. It just went, yeah, it's just sort of like, ding ding. It's like spa music. But then it had this under it. So it made you feel like something was going on? It wasn't. It wasn't.

Yeah, I mean, I think the best way to sum up everything that's happened since this episode is, I think a wise woman once said, I've been traveling, I've been to prison. It's been everything. So we also have our taglines. And these are, by the way, these are classic taglines. Like I forgot how many good taglines run the season.

So it starts with Bethany who says, if you can't handle the truth, you can't handle me. It's a quote, Bethany relax. So she's wearing a little cut out that's like a square under her ribcage, like a Bethany operation game. It's like, boom, boom, boom. Wrong, stupid, add it wrong.

Trigon, Trigon. What are you trying to find a rib? They're literally showing, but drawing with you. Stupid, you suck at this game. Shut up a Trigon. Well, what are you trying to find a rep? They're literally showing. But drawing with you. Stupid. You suck at this game. Shut up, little girl. You know what, little girl?

You're never going to college. You're a nitty-ee. You can't even play opera. You fucking moron. Beth, there really is the embodiment of operation in many ways. Yes. So go ahead. Operate on me.

Stupid. Did it wrong. You're wrong. You did it wrong. You did it wrong. She tries to trade mark operations and nobody else can get one. Cheetah Brandt. What are you getting in operation? I did that first. I did that first. Yeah. And just to see how much his women have changed over the years, Bethany is 30 times worse than she ever was on this show. I remember watching her on this show and being like,

God, this woman is hilarious and terrible. What a terrible human being. Surely not being on the show and being like, God, this woman is hilarious and terrible. What a terrible human being. Surely not being on the show will call him, heard, cut to seven years later on TikTok. Oh my God, oh my God. I'm trying to make up a God right now from a 7-Eleven. Oh my God, it's fucking magical. It's fucking magical. It's fucking magical.

Tell that Kardashian bitch, you know what, you're slayed. I'm sorry, Kardashian bitch, all right. She's so chill. So then we get Durinda's, Diamond sign a girl's best friend, Matini's off. Durinda has a lot of best friends. When alcoholism gets you kicked off the show, but two years before this was your tagline,

it's like, oh, I just feel like a lawyer in this moment, like, stop confessing, don't confess. You have the right to remain silent. So then we have good old Carol Radswell, says, I plan for the future that I live in the moment. She's so wild on spontaneous there's no counter that she won't sit on. Remember when I went on a date with a young guy and we played ping pong? Wow! Living for the moment!

Wow! She's still sitting on counters. She just had a post the other day where she's sitting on a counter. I'm like, oh my god, so young, so fresh. So new. So hip-gaz. So then we get to Sonya. If being Sonya is, if wait, if being Sonya is wrong, then why does it feel so right?

That's a classic. Love that one. Oh, here's a good one. By the way, when there are duds on Rooney, when there are duds taglines, they are really duds. Like this one. A Jew and an Asian walked into a bar bar and then they had me. Jules.

You should have known. You don't wanna think of your parents' fucking and I don't wanna think of your parents' fucking either. You're fired, ma'am. I hope she was fired right in this tagline session. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So then Lewand's like, if you can't be cool and it cuts to Lewand and her sad hula hoop

moment, hooooh, hooooh, hooooh, hooooh, hooooh, hooooh, hooooh, hooooh, hooooh, hooooh, that's what cool people do. You can't be with the countess. I like that they showed that of her being cool because that moment was when Bethany was refusing to speak to her and she showed up to Bethany's Hampton South anyway. And no one would talk to her because they didn't want to make Bethany mad. And then she was like, but look, I'm live.

I'm fun. I have a hula hoop. Yeah. She literally showed up with a hula hoop. She's like, this'll win them all over. And then one of the all-time greatest taglines of all time, like a fine wine, I just get better with time. Okay?

Ramona's finger. The real housewives of New York City. Tududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududud tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada tada We're in the middle of, we're in Miami, we're in the middle of this amazing Miami trip. And Bethany has just received these photos from a quote unquote friend, aka producer on the show. AKA her assistant who she sent to the Regency in a tent. So like wait, wait for Tom to make out with somebody. That boy hot with a cow. She fucking did. When's it not at the Regency?

And Bethany's got like a twig behind her ear. It's like, oh, from hiding in the bushes in front of the Regency and she's definitely got like a twig behind her ear. It's like Oh, I'm hiding in the bushes in front of the Regency So Bethany is says okay She's talking to Ramona and Carol and she's like I mean Tom. He's already been unfaithful. We're already everyone is no No, no, no, whoa, don't say that. No, don't say that if I'm smiling It's only because I'm so sad for it forces me to smile What don't say that if I'm smiling, it's only because I'm so sad for her. It forces me to smile. What? What?

Don't say that. You're really bad. Because we're going to have to feel really bad for her. And Carol's like, well, I don't think that you can go to her with information that you heard from somebody who saw somebody who may or may not been with him. Like what show are you fucking on Carol So Beth is like I have a picture of him and the girl making out or gonna go whoa No, she goes she does the Romana

She is so delighted you've never seen a happier person on the real housewives She is so delighted. You've never seen a happier person on the real housewives. She's so ready to take this. She's screeching some runs to the bathroom. And it's like, my God can't believe. She goes, you know what? Okay, oh my God, I'm like turning red right now. But I'm still looking at Ageless, red, but Ageless.

Okay, and I'm like, whoa, I'm like flipping out. Okay, I'm like flipping out right now. You know what? I want to see this whoa. I'm like flipping out okay. I'm like flipping out right now You know what I want to see this picture. I'm a picture show to me show it to me now Now bet this is bad things favorite. No, I'm not gonna show it here. I'm not gonna show it here It's my holding all evidence from everyone. No, I'm out of my eye clap. No, I'll be right back It's mine. It's mine. It's like you know what? I want to take a vote. Let's see the picture who takes a vote to see the picture I think I bet what I hold a vote. Okay? Among all of us, who agrees that Luan's a slut? Okay?

And then we'll use the picture as evidence. Okay? And about things like, oh my God, come on, give me a break. It's him. It's him. It's like, it's like a thumb with this tongue down, so I'm gonna throw it at the regency. Like, who else could it be? How many thumbs to make out with people publicly like that? It's him. It was a Wednesday. It was a Wednesday. It was him. It's like, what is that prove? It was a Wednesday. Does that like Tom's night at publicly like that? It was him. It was a Wednesday. It was him. It's like, what is that prove?

It was a Wednesday. Is that like Tom's night at the Regency? It's a Wednesday. And Beth, he goes, what are the odds that the day before I'm going to Florida, the Lewandes engagement party, that I got a photograph of the fiance of one week making out with the woman at a bar wasted. What are the odds? I'm like, it literally has like skinny girl branding on it.

Like, the odds are very high. You sent your crony there. Uh-uh-uh-uh. He's making a, she's like, replace the picture. It's just a skinny girl logo with like the leg up. You know, like a little ponytail coming down the back. There's someone look hoisting up a skinny girl stepping her feet behind them.

It's like, at the brand again, the end, at the branding and the... She's there with like a little skinny girl eyeliner and like a bottle. Like, eh. So, uh, Raman is like, quote, he is so stupid. He was doing that right to Regency. I mean, wasn't you hired somewhere?

Why don't you do it in the bathroom? Do it someplace else? Oh, what's stupid? Man, I'm so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, okay? Oh, wait a minute. Is this why you asked if they had an arrangement if they were Monogamous because Luang still walking around telling every when she speaks to

So Luang has no idea this is happening so she's as happy as she's like walking down a hallway moving into a hotel room You mean like hello people of this hotel, I'm getting... Hello. Everyone behind the doors, I'm here, I'm getting married. Getting married, I'm just gonna find my way to my room. Bridal suite, bridal to be sweet. Ugh. So sick, thank you.

Put my bags in this room. Your tip is $5. My talent is priceless. Fly me to the moon. And let me play among line. I still need a line on that one. So Bethany is like, okay everyone, let's just take a break. Let's take a break. Let's take a break everyone. Okay everyone just take a break. I'm like you're the one who's hyperventilating with everything you say. Well you know what? It's in your court because the ball is just the one

with the knowledge that's the ball. So if we're playing tennis, you have the ball. And we all have brackets, but we can't get we can't get bonus and listen to see the picture that's written on the ball. Show me the ball. Show me the ball. Show me the ball. Get down. Get down. Oh my God. Sip your zipper back up. Jesus Christ. You fucking pervert. I'm not showing you the pictures. That thing's a little water gun and just spritz room on every time she's close to her phone. It's car like just texture. So bad. Oh my god. I don't want to ruin the weekend. Oh god. Please don't let me ruin the weekend. I would hate to come

on the wands engagement weekend. This woman that I hate and accused me of stealing her hair cut. Hate your roommate. So Ramona goes to now Ramona goes to her room. This is like an old British farce. It's a lot of like doors like. Yeah, it really is. It's like a living room comedy. Ramona doesn't even say goodbye.

She's like, you want to show me the picture? Fine, I'm immediately going to tell the sonia who is going to tell Lumaan, you know? So she walks down the hall with like, whoa, do I even tell Sonia this? This is crazy. Oh my God, I'm going to go tell her, okay, now. How do I work this doing up?

Okay, okay, all right, I'm going to tell her. I think I'm going to go tell her, okay now, how do I work this doing up? Okay. I'm going to tell her. I think I'm going to, this work, what is this? I'm going to tell her. I'm not going to tell her. It's not my place. I'm not going to tell her. That is so remote.

Ramona is the person you walk down the hallway at a hotel here in Foxwoods and they're struggling with their key. And they're like, can you do this for me? Whoever you walk and just do this for me? I don't what happened to keys and doors anymore, OK? My note is just fucking moron. Just watching her run and sitting there. Well, you know, and she's literally doing a monologue to herself

like she's in a Shakespeare play. She's like, whoa, shall I? Shall I not? So the wind about this holy tostata quacamole, my god. I'm bin. So the man about this holy to start a quackimoli, my god. I'm by noggin miss two. This is nuts. I'm like fucking moron. So I get here, I go to my room, and I put the thing against the door and it goes, boo,

boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, I was like, fuck. I had to come downstairs and the lady looked at me like, fucking moron. I was like, God, it's instant karma! So now Luan walks in, like one of the sweets, the Ramonan and Sonia's sweets is also being used for hair and makeup. So Luan walks in, like, hi girls, how's it going? Welcome to my soon-to-be wedded weekend.

And Ramon's like, whoa, Michael Bann, guess what? I just saw Bethany, and I guess you saw her earlier today. How did it go? Did you ask her about any photos she may have received? Do you want to maybe go ask her now? Ramona does that thing where she crosses her like, model eyes and like, sucks her lip under her teeth. Like, so, did you see the wing?

I'm just see Bethany the wing? I'm just see it back in the wing. Did she say anything to you? Was it casual? What happened? So the way I was like, oh yes, yes, yes, yes. So I talked to her, you know, it was very fast, you know, I'm getting married, you know, and she is going through a divorce and it's very rough and she's going through hell. She's going through the anti-Lewisn experience.

The exact opposite to Boris, the one happiness versus me. Getting married, bliss forever, et cetera. I'm flying, she's walking, I'm in a plane, she's on a bus. You know how it goes. We had a little talk. I wanted to sing something to her, but I didn't want to make her feel inadequate. Just another day with Bethany. How are you girls?

Yeah, she was very concerned. It was going too fast. I was like, don't worry. I know you're traumatized with the speed at which your talk show was canceled, but it's OK for certain things to go quickly. You know what? Definitely on pins and needles.

Because Bethany is definitely going to tell the wind to talk cheated on the wind to reach and see because it was Wednesday night. She has pictures. I'm I'm sift up. I'm definitely zipped up. I won't tell a single person. Hey Sony, did you hear about the wind and Tom? Immediately, immediately. So then Bethany in the other room, Carol's like show me the pictures. How many pictures do you have? Are they 10 types? I mean, it's really old. And Beth, he's like, it's a carousel.

I have a carousel. I was like, oh, shit. Beth and he's like coming armed with a fucking carousel. Yeah. Oh, good. And then she looked at Carol looks at us. How are you, Tim? What the fuck?

Hold on. Let me get my reading glasses. Hold on. She's like, hold on fowl. Hold on, let me get my reading glasses. Hold on. She's like, oh, wait, hold on, hold on. Wait, hold on, let me get my reading of the dark glasses. All right. Oh, I think that's him. Wait, hold on, let me get my reading of the dark

on an airplane glasses. All right, triple bifocal verified, it's him. Oh my god. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. It's like every white bald man in America. Why are we pretending that we're so unique looking? And listen, I love me.

It could have been me making out with him. I saw those pictures. I saw the ones of Tom Dagasino making out with Ramona years later. And I was like, how could I? How? I was like, wow, Tom clickier looks great. So. Oh, so sweet.

So Luann's like. It's like Popton meant us into my mouth. He's like, good job. So here's what Luann has to say about Bethany's concerns that they're going too quickly. She goes, well, you know, I know Tom and the other thing is we're not getting married until New Year's Eve. So we got time. We got time to figure out if this is a shitty relationship, you know? Well, yeah. That makes fent. And also on New Year's Eve, that we got time. We got time to figure out if this is a shitty relationship, you know?

Well, yeah. And also on New Year's Eve, that's when you give things up. So you know, like maybe Tom can give up, like fucking other people in Regency boys. So bad things like, well, of course, I'm gonna tell her. The only question is, like, I don't know like how, or when, or why, I wanted to be as devastating for her as possible. I was hoping that they could just do their vassal in the boat so I could do it there.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen, so I'm just waiting. I've always wanted to be that person when they say, speak now for every whole JP. So I've been waiting for this moment. They go to a restaurant called Sea Spice, Gross. Does anyone here swam in the ocean? at this moment. They go to a restaurant called Seaspice, Gross. Does anyone hear a swam in the ocean? I know you have your water people. Nothing in there.

I don't want it. Flaid gutted and cleaned very well before you put it into my mouth. Thank you. Seaspice is like diet coke cans and like baby poop diapers that people throw in there on the weekends. And we all know it. We're just a very mean spice girl. So Stephanie is like,

see Spice. Like, this spice girl who's just always wet and kind of smells. She's always chaping from the dances. They're like, why are you marking your dances? See Spice? Do the dance. She's like, I shave. I shave. Why are you marking your dances, C-spice? Do the dance. She's like, I chave. I chave. Chas barnacles on her. It's like a sea ma- If you wanna be, it's just Carol.

If you wanna be my lover, you have got to be. Yeah, girl. Uhhh. So, uh, so arrivals, okay. We're Bethany Sonia and Ramona. Show up at this, at C-spice. Oh my god, I love it. What is this? C-spice?, I love it. What is this?

Sea Spice? What an amazing place. What is this furniture? What is this account? It's a sea-puss. It's a couch and a restaurant. This is amazing. I have a couch. How do you know I had this couch?

This is amazing. I love this couch. I love this couch. I love this couch. I love this couch. I love this couch. I don't like the light. I love this couch.

We've got this couch. We've got this couch. We've got this couch. We've got this couch. We've got this couch. We've got this couch. We've got this couch. We've got this couch. I want to go to my keyboard. So, like literally no jokes. Sit down, you know? So Sonia's like, um, Durrindo arranges dinner for us and they're late. Find a little loan time with Ramona and Bethany finally. So Ramona, so Bethany's like, okay, so you know when I said to Durrindo, like, why does

it always feel like you're selling John to us? You know, like selling, that's what she does. She can't just say, here's John. She has to say, like, here's John. It's dry clean. It's the best dry cleaner in New York City. Like why can't she just say, here's this fat sweaty man that I'm with. You know what I mean?

You don't need to sell them to us. Like, you see a pepperoni? You know what's a pepperoni. You know what I'm saying? Don't call it seprasada. Okay? So then she's like, well, that's what Louis M's doing. Okay, she's selling a relationship.

It's like in the beginning. You don't have to sell it. Okay, after 15 years, when you're not having sex, that's when you sell it. That's when you sell your relationship. I'm like, it's not selling a relationship. It's like in the beginning, you don't have to sell it. Okay, after 15 years, when you're not having sex, that's when you sell it. That's when you sell your relationship. I'm like, it's not like I used car, okay? Selling sunsweat. So it's like, yeah, you know, like in the beginning,

you don't even have to sell it. Like, oh my God, I'm so happy, I'm so happy. That's it, you know, after 15 years, you're not having sex with your husband. That's when you sell. You got divorced in like a week, okay? That you literally got shows and spin-offs to sell this man to us.

This is the relationship with the most shatter devastating relationships on Bravo, and I'm really gonna miss this. I'm really gonna miss this, I know. Is anybody else gonna be able to compete with the human carnage that is, this show is like the platoon of housewives. It is.

Every time I watch an older and I'm like, there's gonna be some brain splattered on a wall behind somebody today. And I'm gonna love the whole thing. So Bethany says, I think that Luann fell in love with all the attention. You know, she fell in love with getting engaged, she fell in love with the press,

she fell in love with the ring, she fell in love with the idea that she might be the ares to a supermarket, but she won't be, it's too bad. She fell in love with all of it. It's all very rushed. It's all very manic, okay? Oh, it's all very manic. Bethany Franco, can you believe I'm manic?

I mean, I can't believe this one. It's all fucking, I have this couch. I have this couch. I've literally been manic on this couch in my own house before. So Ramona, who's like, you know what? My lips are sealed. She just turns and goes, whoa, Sonia, are you shocked at Thomas kissing someone else last week?

Oh, okay, okay, so great. So now I already know that you told her. Okay, how long did it take you to open your mouth? 10 minutes, Jesus fucking Christ Ramona. Whoa, she's my BF, okay? Come on, look how young I am, I say BF, because that stands for baby fat. That's f**k.

So, did you catch this little line from Sonia? So, Beth things like, yeah, yeah, this is really weird. I mean, we're only a week and a half into the engagement. Sonia goes, you know what, I'm just shocked by? All the press is getting. I'm just so shocked. I mean, it's in paid six.

Because we learn like the next season that Sony is the one selling all these stories to paid six. I mean, what a crazy headline that Luanne is going and stealing other people's fuck buddies. Can't you believe it? Isn't it crazy that there was an article about how Tom was making out with someone at the Regency while drinking a lovely glass of tipsy girl per sec. So, Ramona is like, were you shocked? And so, Beth thinks like, I mean, come on, you got to ask me before you tell someone else Ramona. She goes, put it, three, I just told you

don't tell me one, and then then you got tough Chrissy from three company You didn't tell me okay you don't you told me just don't tell the wind you didn't say I couldn't tell Sonia or page six Or Mario for every who happens to be my sister as well as my daughter, okay? Hello ladies. Welcome to see spice the sexiest spiced girl. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I mean, that's one that has a giant fucking mouth. Can you believe her? Look at her mouth. Hey, waiter, can you get her a smaller mouth? Can you order her that?

He's like, well, well, let's try this again. Would you like sparkling? Would you like sale? I have this couch, has anybody told you that? Anybody else have this couch? Does everybody have, is this restoration? Is this billards? What is this couch? What do we have this couch?

Let the waiter get you some fucking water. The poor guy tried five times. How many of you else have this catch? Is this restoration? Is this billards? What is this catch? Why do we have this catch? Let the waiter get you some fucking water. The poor guy tried five times. I did love that Bethany had to announce. I owned this couch. This is mine. I already did it. This is over.

This is the Cheetah Breonna restaurant. They already have my couch. They're copying me. They're copying her in Miami. Sonia is like, well, you know, Luann, she walked in the room and he was all over her face. I mean, sorry, not Luann, Ramona. She walked in with all over her face. She was upset.

She was really upset. And I could really sense it on her face when her lips said and a voice came out and said, whoa, Tom made out with someone else. I just could see it all over her face. Whoa, you know, who's also upset? Might be a sonia. She was so upset. Beth and he's like, oh my god, why is everybody upset?

Like who gets a fuck? Who had ever heard of this guy before? Like he's a thumb. He's a thumb with eyes. Like nobody's heard of this guy. What is he? Colombo? What does he have a parrot on his chest?

Who the fuck is this guy? Telly Somalis. Like who is he? Tom Coleakia. Tom Chef. And what was his cello couch? I have this couch. So Sonia's like, Sonny is like, we had sex

like this morning. We were on and off and Beth was like, oh yeah, one was the last time you slept with him. This is insane information. It's like literally insane right now. And she's like, well, before Thanksgiving, she says, oh my God, you slept with him just before this Thanksgiving. That is fucking insane. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Right before this Thanksgiving, Jesus Christ, I'm getting a carousel of this. All right. Say that in different poses. Say that in different poses. Yeah, well, we were supposed to see each other the Friday after Thanksgiving too. I'm like, damn, Sonia got stood up for Black Friday. She was like, he was gonna give me a ride to Walmart and everything. You know she was ready to fill up that town home with so many TVs.

And they all under bangin' because he's rich and he's like, not fucking you because of Black Friday. He's like, I gotta need a new flat screen. So about things like, you slept at 10, 3 months ago, what are we? What are we? What is it, what is ago. What are we? What are we? What is it?

What is it? You know what? And then two weeks later, he screws Luann. Luann, Luann screws him rather, huh? Because she's a slut. What? Wait, see, we're screwing him when you were living with Luann. That is what you're telling me, like Sonia.

You were living, you were letting Luann stay in your basement, but that was also an attic. So where does house have it? Was it the basic or the basement or the attic? I think Luan was like living in the strange attic that had no heating. Had a tube TV and no heating in the middle of the winter and then like it would come down to Furukope and be like, uh, can we raise the temperature above 32 degrees Fahrenheit in Europe, please? God! No kidding! That's really cold though to go sleep at somebody's house and then bang their bald person while you're there I was just so cold. I needed something on top of me and there was no blanket. I found this sack of skin and he worked out just great

It's amazing how angry we got about scandal but with this we're like, haha It's amazing how angry we got about Scandinavol, but with this we're like, Ha, ha, ha. Well, it's like you can't, you can't date an Uber and then get mad that it's picking people up. You know what I mean? It's just Tom, you know, it's Tom's the neighborhood bike. He's one of those little rental bikes outside. You have the app, you press the button, it takes your picture and off you go to break your neck. Bikes outside you have the app you press the button it takes your picture and off you go to break your neck

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial So Beth is like you know what you guys should all just move in together and save a lot of money Ha that was a joke. Okay, so let's okay put him on the third floor Ha another joke. Okay, does everyone know what it's time like I could do all these jokes I got all this material and I long ladies, huh? Ha ha anyone the one out? Okay, no. Someone was like, someone who goes, I'd actually rather move into Tom's place.

I get the serious thing. So yeah, I'd rather we all move into Tom's place because I don't really need such a big place all of my own. I know, she's on the house, on the other side. And someone was like, well, why do you think that Sonya was crying this morning? I told you she was crying. Her lover. Her lover's getting married to someone else, okay?

Wow, you really have been holding it in, Hasson, yeah? And she's like, I did lose my lover, by the way. Now, I don't have anyone. I'm fine drawing that department. But it's not about me. It's about them. I'm very, very happy for them. Good for them.

I'm happy for her, and I'm happy for him. And so she's like, you know, a player is a player, but why is this okay for her to steal my fuck, buddy? Yeah. Because by the way, Bethany and Ramona are just programming Sonya. Because Sonya, I don't think really cared that much. Sonya didn't care.

She's like, fucking, Sonya's like a tray of like tuna tartar just passing it around the party. Psych have some. I've tried it already. It's good. I cooked it. I fucked it. I made it nice.

But then Ramona's like, aren't you upset, Sonya? Don't you want to cry that your brother is going to marry the win? Aren't you upset? Yeah, what do you want? Why don't you devastate it? You were sobbing this morning. Your eyes are really puffy. Oh god, poor thing.

Poor thing. Oh my god, it's like a funeral. It's like that time we had to like turn your dog into dust and like put it over the... LAUGHTER We hanging me up to dry like that. I was on dead me Lou. So Sonia says the most Sonia thing,

which is, I've been just so upset about this. I don't even have diarrhea of the mouth. I just have diarrhea of the diarrhea. I just sat on Bethany Sofa. I've been pooping all day. There's never been a running or cast than the real house size of New York City. The first one was Kelly Benzman literally running in traffic and it just went downhill from there. So let's build on that.

Let's build a Sonia can shitter pants a couple of times. Sonia wears diapers on a bus because it just went downhill from there. So like, let's build on that. Let's build Sonia and Shitterpant a couple of times. Sonia wears diapers on a bus because she can't wait to get through a bathroom before pooping. And let's clot, yes, Brandy. My friend went, what? Yes. It got so bad that like in a later season,

it just began normalize that Ramona walked around the bar and I'm sitting on the floor sitting on the floor you know in the Mexico on the floor they zoomed in on it like look she pooped she's pooped Shrek no what's it mean like Ramona we know the shape of your poop it's like when you're in a dog park and someone's like that's not my dog's poop and I like we know Ralph's poop by now, okay. There was a whole scene about her poop on the carpet. It's a choreo and an unshoed slice of chicken breast, Ramona, we know it's you, all right?

So me and Watha Hotel, everyone else is like, Luan, Jewels, Dorenda and Carol are sort of getting ready and Luan's like, girls, come on, hurry up, the other ones are at the hotel, they're at the restaurant, they've been waiting for ever for us. Some in Jules has a line. Poor thing, Jules, I feel so bad for her rewatching this because they really didn't give Jules a chance. No. Jules are like, how okay guys are we going to dinner?

I'll sit in the front. And they to dinner? I'll sit in the front. And they're like, I'll sit in the front. Just like. And what was great about vintage Rony was how many little jumps are always worse. So they all quote climbing into the van. And first, Jules gets in, then the Wann gets in behind her. And Carol's holding the door for them while they get in.

And the Wann goes, where's Carol? Did she just slam the door behind her and Carol's holding the door for them while they get in and the way hand goes, where's Carol? Did she just slam the door behind her? And Carol's just standing there. And Carol opens it and then they go, oh, there you are. Like as Carol's fault, like she just materialized. So they have been waiting for these girls to show up at this dinner for two hours. We find out. And we learned that this is when we, back in the day, like an episode 40, we had Jill Zaron on our podcast.

And Jill Zaron told us that the Roni producers always make the cars go late, so that we, when everyone finally gets together, they're all pissed at each other. And that is what was happening here. And it was, I was like, thank you producers. Thank you for doing this. And then she said, if you're going to release this podcast, I need to have equal pays the both of you. We said no.

We said, OK, you can have equal pay. We do this for free. She's like, god damn it. I just spoke for three hours, mom, stop. Oh, wow. Bye. So Bethany's like, oh my god, what are they, two hours? They, what are they gonna come to?

I was like, this fucking ridiculous. I've never heard of anything in my life. It's the most annoying thing I've ever heard. What are they, what are they? Linda Evangelista, Stephanie Seymour, what are they? Jacelle, what are they? Jacelle, what are they? May West.

What are they? El McPherson, what are they? What are they? Claudia Shipper, what are they? Tyra Banks, like what are they? What are they? What are they? Supermodel, restaurant, that was on 57th Street?en, what are they? What are they? Claudia Shippe? What are they? Tyra Banks? What are they? What are they?

Super Prado Restaurant? That was on 57th Street? Like, what are they? Crawford? Oh, so... Durinda walks in. She's already on one. Durinda, in later seasons, literally has...

Durinda's last episode is in a glitter turbine With lipstick all over her face Screaming at the entire crew the cameraman and You can see the beginning for that. There's like lipstick here, and you can tell that she's like she did her lipstick like this You know then you can tell she wiped around it. So there's like the little ghost streak of lipstick going on. So the band arrives. And the WAN is doing the thing where they get out and she turns the battle age. She's like, hi, how are you?

Thank you so much. She's doing like they had their de Bro trying to be relatable to service people. Hi. Hi. Hi, yes, I am Countess Lomandola-Seps. You're welcome. See y'all for part two tomorrow. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors.

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