Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Escape from Lu-catraz

Episode Date: June 8, 2018

The Real Housewives of New York celebrates Bethenny's new jeans line and Luann's great prison escape. Time to crack some nuts. Enjoy! This week's bonus is about Newsies the musical and terrib...le endings to great TV shows. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live is coming to San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, and has added second shows in Atlanta and Philadelphia! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram
Starting point is 00:00:41 and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I've been watching you. Watch what crappens. I've been watching you. I've been watching you. I've been watching you. I've been watching you.
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Starting point is 00:01:41 Eva Nagila Webber. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Heligrant, Vegrant Master, The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters, and Lizzie Drucker, a fun mother f- We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins! The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on yo bros. I'm Ronnie Kerr. You can also hear me on the roast ricks bachelor roast every Tuesday morning And here I am with the gorgeous Ben Mandelker my co-host my internet life partner my bff Hi, I'm great. Thanks. How are you? I'm doing good
Starting point is 00:02:24 It's real housewives of New York day. So that's always a good time for me, man. Oh, such a good time for all of us. Don't break it with the great time. I love this show. It's the best and the best thing is that we get to talk about it in just a few weeks in San Francisco. I'm sorry, in Phoenix, we are talking Roni in Phoenix. So get your tickets and come see us on June 21st. And I believe it's a stand-up live. Stand-up live in Phoenix. It's gonna be a fabulous, hilarious time.
Starting point is 00:02:56 You guys gotta come. You just have to. You have to. You don't know when we're going back to Phoenix, so make the most of it now. And right after that is San Francisco, Gay Pride Weekend in San Fran. They're going to be talking Southern charm and having a big Southern charm.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Gay pride and heights. Yeah, San Fran. Yeah, exactly. Like you kind of have to come see us in San Francisco. I mean, Luan is literally playing down the street from us the same night. Like it's kind of destiny. It's a bravo night in San Francisco. It's gay pride. I mean, like it's gayness in the air You have to come even if you're straight. Yes, and also we have our limited edition t-shirts out for the month of June And it's what's the matter? What's going on? What's happening? The Bethany assistant t-shirts so go get that at crap and smurch or
Starting point is 00:03:39 Watch what crap and calm. That's where you can also find ticket links for all of our upcoming shows We're touring through the entire year, all of 2018. Yeah. And now it's time for real housewives of New York. Real house. I know this is going to be a good episode because the previously is narrated by not narrated but intro by Durrinda and she's trying to sound like Carol which is really weird. She's like, oh, you kissed me on the real ass like you were kidding. It's like, did you ask Durrinda to do this after 20 packs of cigarettes? It's like they just woke Durrinda up and around somewhere. We're like, will you record this?
Starting point is 00:04:21 Yes, she is like hungover. She got wasted last night in Buttec, and she is not ready to do her voice over work. And there's a producer sitting in her bedroom holding up her yellow plates, being like, it's sunshine, it's sunshine, wake up. I fell for the gym. And sensibly.
Starting point is 00:04:41 I was cracking up even before basically the show started, but it's sort of the same reason because they're showing previously on Real House, it's New York, and they're showing all the stuff. And they show Luan the police footage of her being arrested when she's like, she's like, why? Why? Why? Why? It's like, she's in the police cruiser right now.
Starting point is 00:05:04 And the cop literally like Has his arm up on her chest and it's like listen, listen lady I'm gonna hog tie you if you don't stop and then it cuts directly to Like like the opening credits like just This like casual Music Like literally from I'm going to hog to you if you don't stop to Success in New York is only a matter of your high heels or whatever they say, you know, it's like I love
Starting point is 00:05:34 They just they cut from Luan to Luan because they went they have Luan going what is this nutcracker situation? Like ride into her being in a cop car. I was like whoa what didn't happen with that neck cracker What happened between nutcracker and you know, jail Like oh wait, did she steal it from El Chappo or is she like Transporting something for him in there. El Chappo's a nutcracker. Let me tell you that guy is a nutcracker. That's no joke I'll tell you your countis and friends includes so many different people. People. We are Cheyenne Jackson.
Starting point is 00:06:09 We have Burnett Peters, El Chappo. Amy Phillips, El Chappo. You're just sing a wonderful Ranchero song. It's El Chappo. What do they call those songs that are about those like Ranchero songs that are about drug dealers. There's a specific genre that is, you know what I'm talking about? What do they call those songs that are about those like Ranchero songs that are about drug dealers? There's a specific genre that is you know I'm talking about they're called the Nutcrackerays El Nutcrackeray I'm learning Spanish on duo thing though called El Nutcrackeray
Starting point is 00:06:38 Loose no crackeros so most might as we get right Three two one grossos. Why do we get right? Bumpa dumpa dump duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, with my not cracker. I'm gonna eat something. I'll mix the laugh every time. Okay, so we open. Her totally indelicate lyrics that don't even rhyme. They just are like, love consciousness. Let me read for my big trapper keeper covered in Jules Diary.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Ah! Anyway, I'd like to call it a little chapo on stage. We're gonna sing a song. We like to sing on those hot, Mexican nights called El Nutcracker O. Oh, he seems a little angry. Don't lose your head, Chappo.
Starting point is 00:07:50 Get up, boys. Now where is that? You know, he is always sneaking away. And now from some wonderful underground music with El Chappo. Okay. Oh, El Nutcracker O by Luan and El Chavo. Okay. Oh, not cracker open, Luann and El Chavo. Okay, so we open with Bethany and her family in a car. And by her family, I mean, Kevin.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Kevin, her driver. She's like, Kevin, Kevin, yeah, yeah, Kevin, Kevin. I'm going to Chicago today. I'm going to Chicago. I'm going to do a business conference. I'm going to get home, Brinson, I'm going to leave the wiser. Like, you know what the weather's like in Chicago? It's either cold school to fuck. Okay. Okay. Kevin. Hey, Kevin. Hey, I saw you with the Julie. I saw your I saw
Starting point is 00:08:32 you have a Kevin Jules. Huh? Is that what you do on the side? Kevin Jules. Kevin is so checked out. He's yeah, he's like a library book basically. He's just completely checked out. He's just staring at his phone. Like I do not get paid enough for this, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's like if I have to hear Bethany make another joke about Chicago weather, I'm just gonna just drive off this bridge right now.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Thanks, please. Please followed by Dorinda limping out to meet Ramona in a car and she's got a cane. And Ramona's like, hi, I'm here to pick you up. Can you me to help you? Or can you do them and help you to the car? I was like, what happened? What is going on? Miranda has a cane. Ramona is offering to help her into the car. What happened?
Starting point is 00:09:14 They stabbed myself in the foot. I didn't even know it. Yeah, this is the most real housewives of New York, injury of all time. D'Aurinda, she's like, where I have a crystal of shawshake and fell on my foot. I was like, where I have a crystal full of shalt shake and fell on my foot. I was like having used the shalt shake since before which she died. And I thought, hey, I'm not easy.
Starting point is 00:09:31 I'm gonna use that shalt shake if you don't want. And she's born as shalt shakeers, you know? So I just had to use my foot to the back. I just heard it. I love that Dorenda just even before her foot's black. Like she just wakes up one morning like, you know the crystal full soul shake it. I deserve that.
Starting point is 00:09:51 I deserve it. I'm just like imagining her on one of those like librarian ladders, you know reaching up to like the fine like the Christophel shaker hidden behind a box a special K or something. It just comes tumbling down I'll tell you what happened to my foot It was it was Christophel with a shot shaker in the kitchen If it leaves even more bloated now cuz they insult
Starting point is 00:10:21 So then tenslies on the phone with her mom and I wrote tenslies on the phone with her mom and I wrote Tinsley's on the phone with her mom no Carol because It's like this is no Carol. It's like That's how she talks when she's in California. She's so relaxed. Everything takes longer including her syllables. That's Carol getting massage. Yeah. So Tinsley is talking to Dale on the phone. You know, Dale's probably sitting there down in Florida eating Russell Stover chocolates while her brother was yammering away. She is. She's like, oh, oh, this one has new gate. Go on, Tinsley. What are you talking about? She's like, oh my God, Mom. Scott and I had such a good time and Palm Beach. Oh my God, Mom. It was great. It's like literally the smallest city in all the world. And it was so much fun.
Starting point is 00:11:21 How could it say so small be have such big fun? And Carol's having way too much fun with this Lou and what to jail thing, you know, and she's like, well, friend called me and I thought, oh, no, she got to do why, but then I googled it and I was scared for her. That's not a good place to be. I was like, yeah, you seem terrified, Carol. You know, it's like that moment of Botox where you're just always smiling,
Starting point is 00:11:46 but also Carol, you just can't help smiling. Your face may not be able to tell me whether or not you're smiling, but that glimmering your eyes tells me, but you're smiling. Well, I guess what everyone was smiling, including production, because she... I mean, Carol says, when I heard about Luann getting arrested, and, you know, I thought that she might have had a DUI, but it turns out it was so much more serious. If it were Beverly Hills, it would be like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun And she assaulted a police officer and she might be going away to jail and the music like
Starting point is 00:12:31 Like it's just carefree and light like I just another day in New York. Let's get a croissant Girls like I emailed her and I said whoops. That's not good And he's like I was just a few blocks away. We're went down. I was just right there And I felt badly for her because, you know, I know how it'll be taken to the press. I reached out and I said, babe, I'm in town. And I shouldn't have said this, but come over to my mom's love cocktail. Good one, didn't sleep. I actually really respect that instinct. Well, yeah, that's worse. Yeah, that's what else are you going to do before you get your stuck in rehab. Tinsley was so mad that she wasn't there. She's like, it's literally the smallest place on Earth
Starting point is 00:13:10 and I miss the coolest thing happening. You know, you know, that's what she was thinking. So then meanwhile Ramona and Durinder are talking about it and Ramona of course has taken this chance to be demure. She's like, oh, the wind's taking, uh, well, you know, she's away right now. She's like, oh, the wind's taking, uh, well, you know, she's a way right now. She's on vacation. Like, she's at summer camp. Get it? Durinda? Get it? I love that she's whispering like somebody died. She's like, the wind's awake. Hey,
Starting point is 00:13:38 I haven't spoken to her. How's her spirits? No pun intended, Romano. Yeah. How to have spirits. No pun intended, Ramona. Yeah. Oh, and you're just like, I haven't actually read the email. These things,
Starting point is 00:13:51 these shit guys, ignore the noise. By the way, you're called on during this new hair being be Arthur's hair from The Golden Girls is fucking perfect. Yeah, like Luke gave her Golden Girls hair. Like, I don't know what he's thinking.
Starting point is 00:14:05 I don't know how he can say employed after giving her that hair, but he did. And so Durrinda's like, yeah, I don't think Durrinda's ready to go back and get any sort of polite society. I'm like, none of you guys are ready to go into polite society. Nothing about you guys ever even screams polite.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Or society, really. I mean, you just dropped a salt shaker on your foot yeah you have a salt shaker injury you broke your foot with a salt shaker he wasn't in a good place he wasn't in a good place and she's a guest yes well she said she was self-medicated and I did that I was getting divorced I mean mean, which I don't know, P.M. I mean, I didn't hit anybody, but still, this is bad, bad, it's a bad thing. The police were there, and that's bad, okay? This was an out of control situation that became public,
Starting point is 00:14:55 and worse than that, the police were involved, and that's bad. That's like so bad, but the worst kind of bad. It's like Michael Jackson. I'm bad, I'm bad. You know what? I'm bad except it's about little wings. Like Michael Jackson was like the wings bad, the wings bad. And she knows it, she's bad, okay?
Starting point is 00:15:16 It's like the divorce, okay? It doesn't matter who won the divorce, who lost the divorce, who came in and attained the divorce with the goalie was wearing the divorce. Like it's not about your divorce, Ramona in and attained the divorce, with the goalie was wearing the divorce, like it's not about your divorce, Ramona, okay? Self-medicating, after that divorce, I was addicted to using anti-aging creaks,
Starting point is 00:15:34 which couldn't stop using it on myself. It's self-medicating, but worth that divorce, I wouldn't look 20 years old. And then it's like, yeah, what, sometimes God stops what you, went stops what you're not recognizing and need to stop. I'm like, yeah, sort of like a salt shaker falling from on high onto your foot and breaking it with supernatural power.
Starting point is 00:15:56 I think that's how we get a lot of salt intake. Yeah, I think if ever there was a sign from God, it was your Christopher fall a ball with a salt shaker plummeting from the heavens and splitting your foot in half So Durin is like He had a party in the same place they had to get me buddy did you go and we're among us like no No, no music like you fucking liar the music's like No music like you fucking liar the music's like lie
Starting point is 00:16:31 She's doing Felix the cat eyes like I like left right left right no no I wasn't yeah I spent my New Year's Eve. I'm doing like to run to Anne Ramon and I'm like whoa this is crazy I spent my New Year's Eve at my friend Come come Come, Pakistan. You know, Kai? com com com pagostino Kai getting great party i mean i saw him i grant india ma la
Starting point is 00:16:50 well not him but his penis possibly i don't know something happened and turned it this like who would go to that party where you know you can see him only a low life would go there and the music's like Ramona went there Ramona went there like music. Like Ramona went there. Ramona just like. She Ramona just like has like a Christophal Saul Jake or in her inner. I can't just like do it now. Do I do it now? Just just a fast.
Starting point is 00:17:16 She won't ever think. Kai. You know Ramona is just a full. You know Ramona is just full of lies when Ramona's quiet because Ramona is never quiet Ramona talks through church like she is never quiet. Well everyone's in crackers. I don't think there's any crackers. Don't think there's a cobs of bad view. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:17:36 I'm sorry, but I can't have this communion wine. Is it Pinot Grigio? I don't think so. Speak in the crackers. It's like a cheese. Okay, so Beth and Bethany and Carol. Wait, Bethany. Bethany. Bethany. No, Bethany's in the car. I just wrote Beth car and that's what I write for Carol to you. So Bethany was no, but Bethany just talked now. She's talking about the way I'm being right. She's like, well, you know what?
Starting point is 00:18:00 Like I'm like, I'm proud. I had one of the way I'm spits last big nights. Like we went out in Halloween. Like basically I'll take credit for it. Like I had one of the last nights. That was me. Me. And then they cut to her, you know what? I'm like, I'm proud. I had one of the Wands last big nights. Like we went out in Halloween. Like basically, I'll take credit for it. Like I had one of the last nights. That was me. And then they cut to her, you know, being drunk, Diana in a car. Yeah. Like congratulations. God, let's have a blind face night. Yeah, let's pile on the abuse for the Wands this episode. They're like, don't forget she was in black face. Let's bring that up. Let's bring that up with Kevin right now.
Starting point is 00:18:25 He's like, yeah, this is great. He's like, I want to kill this lady in my back seat. So she said, you know, there's so many ways that Lou Ankin handled it. Like seriously, like literally, she could cry. She could not cry. She could sob. She could not sob.
Starting point is 00:18:35 She could smile. I mean, who knows? Run around the block. Not run around the block. Go to a buffet. Not go to a buffet. I mean, I don't know. She could laugh.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Yeah. She could sing. She could not sing. She could sit. She mean, I don't know. She could laugh, some of the way. Yeah. She could sing, she could not sing. She could sit, she could stand, she could walk, she could run. I mean, like, she's going to rehab for 20 days. Like, what is that 20 days? Like a Sandra Volk movie? Like, is that enough?
Starting point is 00:18:55 Was that, she could go like hang out with some zombies now? She could go like take over London right now. Be like, I'm like, you're brains, like, literally. Like, she's not gonna eat brains. The wind. She could eat brains. I should make some brains. Gonna go for a seriously. Yeah. She could eat brains. I should drink the brain. It's gonna go right. Seriously. Well, it'll be interesting to see her fresh and like never drink again.
Starting point is 00:19:10 And she starts like cracking up in the back seat with herself. Yeah. And then so now I wrote that carol and tinsley were talking. But was it just did I get that wrong with since he talking to Dale still? I wrote tinsley and Carolley were talking, but was it just, did I get that wrong? Was Tinsley talking to Dale still? I wrote Tinsley and Carol. Oh, so they must be telling me. I know she was never talking to Dale.
Starting point is 00:19:30 I just wrote, I wrote Tinsley and her mom, but it was Carol. It's just because I heard like an old voice on the other. No, in my, oh, in my mind, I thought that she was also talking Dale. I was fully late when I said, I still stand by the fact that Dale was sitting there eating real sister over talk. I mean, Dale was on that call too. I know that's why I didn't kick Dale out of that scene. Yeah, no, I'm here for you. Three way. Yeah, I was like go on Carol talk. I'm considering my
Starting point is 00:19:55 roster was I could see her fully dressed in like a pant suit like sitting outside on a pool chair eating with the list of his chocolates. Russell's over chargers listening listening to Carolyn Tinsley. That was a good one, Carol. That was a good joke. So, yeah, so Carolyn Tinsley to talk about how Lou Ann is here from the police. And I love they're just like cracking up
Starting point is 00:20:14 about the fact that Lou Ann slipped out of her handcuffs. Because that's what we're all thinking, like how awesome, and hilarious is it, that Lou Ann got out of her handcuffs. And they show it again. Her just like me like, UGH! I'm free!
Starting point is 00:20:27 I learned that one from El Jago. My good friend! Now it can over here so I can bite off your head. Now excuse me, I believe there's a tunnel somewhere near here I have to climb into. I'm going to Cuba! So Carol's like, whoa, I was like, no way. And then I saw the video of the arrangement. Then they show the video and the judges like, listen, okay, I don't know if you're an alcoholic
Starting point is 00:20:55 but stop drinking. And she's like, well, you know, I, and he goes, look, everything you can say can be this against you. So just don't talk. And she's, oh, okay. Okay, thank you. Thanks for that. I know I'm not supposed to talk. So just don't talk and she goes, oh, okay. Okay, thank you. Thanks for that.
Starting point is 00:21:05 I know I'm not supposed to talk, but what if I say three, two, one, I'm in court. I'm in court. I'm going to jail because I failed at my breathalyzer. That's a high-pitched question. Why do birds suddenly appear every time? I am here uh... uh...
Starting point is 00:21:30 uh... that's night court night court i had a comment i had a comment there i'd made it i only have my stuff and tom to blaze decastino singer frankle madly salt jaker dead One o'clock two o'clock three o'clock rock four o'clock five o'clock six o'clock rock seven o'clock. Oh, let's just get to it Jailhouse
Starting point is 00:22:01 I hate counting how many counts do I have? I have the countess. It cuts back to Carol and she's like, so Tinsley, weren't you at the same jail as Lewann? It's like, yes! Conclub broke girl. Guess it was the same. But it wasn't the same because I had a misdemeanor and she has four felonies. Hey, by the way, are you going to that skinny jeans party? I'm sorry. had a misdemeanor and she has four felonies. Hey, by the way, are you going to that skinny jeez party? Oh,
Starting point is 00:22:26 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:22:34 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:22:40 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, And Andrew and his like, say you guys can you get a jeans patty? I hope you guys know how to say it cause they I'll be extra careful. And Remonna's like, no, wasn't it? And fight it.
Starting point is 00:22:49 And honestly, I don't think I would go anyway cause I don't know. Bethany was mean to me. And I didn't like, they do a flashback of her being, you don't support other women, which is like really one of my favorite scenes of all time now. I said, I've been saying that all week long,
Starting point is 00:23:03 I'll be like at Sprouts and I'll just be like walking by bananas like you don't split. I'm not on sale that you want. I know. You don't support other women. Okay bananas. Okay. Okay. So we get to see a clip of that again and it's hilarious and then Durinda's like, well, you know, we were in a good place until the nutcracker Yeah, and now Durinda now Durinda has been riled up about this nutcracker thing We're now she's like upset about it, but trying to act that she's not upset, but she's really upset I mean she can't just say thank you. Thank you. It's been thank you. You know, but what was funny is oh, I guess it was later Never mind.
Starting point is 00:23:45 I'll get to it later. But either way, so- I'm just kind of negativity in my life. Okay, I don't need that. I could be alone. I'm like, you're- What? You hurt yourself with a salt shaker.
Starting point is 00:23:53 You cannot be alone. Okay, we know what happens to you in your own. You're stabbing yourself from a ham, you're dropping like heavy salt shakers on yourself. The last person that ever needs to be alone is you. Okay. Yeah, exactly. Never mind it goes. What a bunch we all.
Starting point is 00:24:14 What a bunch. Okay. So then speaking of what a bunch they are, we then go to Sonya. She is in basically it has not quarantined of like plastic drapes on her bed because her apartment's going through renovations, but it looks like someone came in and is like, okay, you have Ebola, so you just stay on your bed until we get this all sorted out. Yes, it's like the boys in the Bible or whatever. Yeah, she's in bed. It's like ET. Yeah, it is. So she's like, my god, I'm so allergic to all this does.
Starting point is 00:24:49 I'm going to be staying with TNC because I'm allergic to dust and my, oh, I can't find my underwear, but that's okay. Oh, three packs. I've got three packs and then she's smelling her underwear and piling them up. I'm just going through her bills and I just love that Sonia is like having a one woman show in every scene that's her. I know. She doesn't even need her facialist to come in anymore.
Starting point is 00:25:08 She's just on that bed with a variety of random items that she's either sniffing or touching. I was like, this is literally a view of Sonia's a homeless lady. I am seeing her right now. With these plastic things up, she looks like she's in her own little tarp tent. And I'm not trying to be insensitive to the situation. But what I'm seeing right now, like with these plastic things up, she looks like she's in her, like her own little tarp tent, you know, and I'm not trying to be like insensitive to the situation, but like what I'm seeing right now is I feel like I'm looking at a woman on the street just like rambling and going
Starting point is 00:25:33 through random like pieces of like trash, like that trash, but like, you're getting a look on the inside of a tent city, you know, because she's literally in a like a plastic tent in her head. She's in a plastic tent, like picking up random things, sniffing them, like, inhaling, like, giving yourself tinctures, which I don't think that's necessarily, like, a common, homeless thing to do. But, like, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:51 like, she's like spring stuff in her mouth, and like, it was just, it was so good. It's like, one woman showed the Sunjina monologues. Yeah, and so she's, she's talking about how she reached out to Luann and everything.
Starting point is 00:26:06 And she's like, you know, I know that Luann is a strong, is a strong, and she's a proud woman. I'm like just like me, Lou, proud dog. So I got to wear a little staircase to get up on the bed. I don't want her to think I'm sticking my nose in it. But when she passes, I'm totally gonna blow her ashes in someone's face So you that right now It's how she sends everybody out and she has jury jury duties
Starting point is 00:26:32 Call what if what does it call? Whatever you're all guilty You're all guilty So how I am that was that was actually such a funny moment. I just love that like Sony adjust this you know what You're all guilty Guilty of loving the first degree is that so wrong Tawny like tawny never comes So Bethany and care Bethany's in the car with Kevin. I wrote car again, damn it. So she's still in the car with Kevin.
Starting point is 00:27:05 This is Bethany's whole life, basically. Bethany in the car with Kevin. She's like, I got a weird feeling about tonight. Like it's weird. And he goes, weird good. She's like, no, no, I'm settled. Like, seriously? Like literally, seriously, Carol, seriously.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Rough patch, like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, Carol's might even come and come down. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So now Well before that though, we go to Ramona at the doctor's office and How did I skip Ramona at the doctors? Oh, I don't know what a sin. I don't know. I don't know I I Your man of mystery. I don't Don't try to figure it out then. Okay. I don't like twin peaks. You just you just wait until it's over and you say that was good. And move on with your day. So Ramona, who was furious at Bethany last week for implying that for saying like what? Yeah,
Starting point is 00:27:58 oh, you have to have a whole international. Okay. You have to have a whole international. Now she actually literally has an international. This entire scene was a hilarious hilarious information. So Ramona shows up at the doctor's office and she's like, now that my divorce is final, I don't have to work. But let's face it, enjoy working and I've always been entrepreneurial. And I'm really excited to do my anti aging skincare, ages by Ramona, okay? People always say to me, you're reverse aging, like Benjamin Biden.
Starting point is 00:28:28 You can facelift a Botox to death, fillers, that, but it's about what you put on your face. I'm like Ramona, you have like 10 facelifts. Yeah Botox and fillers. I mean, I'm glad that you're keeping it lead dead, but come on. Soon, I'm gonna be working on a tugboat, just like Benjamin Button. I'll be like, two to two, because everyone's gotta get away from my boat.
Starting point is 00:28:52 And I'm gonna be tugging along my old face because I have anti-age to become younger. Soon, Kate Blanche will be cradling me like a little baby. I should be like, whoa, you look great for your age. Are you one year old? I'll be like, no look great for your age are you one year old? I'll be like no I'm 63 okay People are always saying if you take another dress from the dressing group not ever coming back on my talk show again
Starting point is 00:29:14 Okay, I guess what you can see that all you want It's not gonna change the sampleness the quality of your skin, okay? I've always been entrepreneurial a one-time was a little girl, I was like, whoa, I want to have a lemonade stand. And I set up a little lemonade stand. Geraldine parts Smith, she came up to me and she was like, whoa, you don't know what lemonade even is. That's just water that you put yellow in. And I was like, no, it's not. She said, yes, it is. And she knocked over all my lemonade. And to this day, I still can't listen to be on Seiz album,. Sorrie. Sorrie.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Geraldine took a lemon off the tree and threw it at my head and it hurt. But that's when I realized oh my god I don't look 10 years old. I look 9 years old now. So I realized citrus. That's what I need. Citrus. To this day ever since Jonathan Parsonsmith threw a lemon at my head, I have trouble drinking sprite. Can only drink half a bottle of sprite because it's the line half. I can't drink
Starting point is 00:30:10 the lemon half. So the doctor, she's like, I want to start with the serum that's hydrating. Okay. When I was working with the doctors, I said, I've put a serum. It absorbs into your skin. Look, it just melts right into your skin. I'm like, like lotion, like lotion remona. Yeah. And the doctor was like, it's so light and so citrusy. It's just, that's my scent. That's my scent. Smell me. Yeah, you smell it. Because yeah, you smell like this. They have a flashback. And there's a flashback of Tom saying, you smell like grapefruit, which is also like who says that to someone? You smell like a wake watcher's breakfast.
Starting point is 00:30:52 I also have, I want to give props to Dr. Amy Lewis for rocking a really impressive depromessing wig. Like you really killed it. Like you, you basically are grace out there. Well done. And then Ramona of course now is giving herself propious just so you know I become a maven at whatever I'm interested in. So for instance last night I was like I want to have a slice of cheesecake. I'm a cheesecake
Starting point is 00:31:16 maven now. Wow. I did it passionate about it. Not just passionate but I become like intelligent about it okay I'm a maven of intelligence okay I'm a maven cheesecake citrus cheesecake okay oh lemon ricotta cheesecake I'm a maven hashtag maven Bethany was mean about my skincare but to be successful in, you can't look behind you or to your left or to your right or upstairs, downstairs, in a car outside of a car. You just say, you know what, Bethany, you don't support other women. Okay. You just follow the beeps and the beeps get louder and louder. You stop and you start digging in the sand until you find the trinket. That's how you're successful. That's the direction you go in, okay? Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the
Starting point is 00:32:15 hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
Starting point is 00:32:51 How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. Okay. Trusting on them. In the car with Beth and Eve and Kevin. Um, so yeah, that's where I got a weird feeling. I got a weird feeling. I'm just unsettled. Like I'm gonna see Carol like we had a rough patch. Like I thought it was over a text to there. I was like, oh my god. Like it's a holiday. You know, it's a lot of
Starting point is 00:33:21 like I was having to press. It's about to take a picture and I said, I miss you. And then she said, that's a lot. And I mean, well, that's a little Bethany goes, I texted, I said, I miss you. You seem cold. Like, um, how are you expecting a warm response when you choose someone? Like, I miss you. You're cold. Like, you can't insult someone and then be like, let's be friends again Bethany, you got to work on that.
Starting point is 00:33:48 It's a work that way, okay. She was right, that's not a lot, it's a little, okay? And I said we got issues and she said, I don't want to deal with that, we'll talk about it next year. Okay, well it's next year. Kevin's like, oh Jesus Christ, is it another fucking year in the front seat of this car? Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:34:04 And then she's like, and I got this not quite got situations renders, but I got mad at me about that. I mean, like when I didn't say thank you enough, and then actually they show a flashback of Bethany being like, thank you so much. Oh my God, oh my God, thank you so much. You say like she was actually being super grateful. Yeah, just not doing the party.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Yeah, just not doing the party. It was when Durinda said that she could find it for her. Yeah. So anyway, so Beth and Yerad's because she's she's showing up at her skinny girl gene event. So she gets out of the car and then she's like trying to walk through pedestrians. I just love how she just doesn't know how to deal with people. She's like, huh, wait, what? Right, huh? Wait, which way do I go? Or she'll one of those like beeper things that Ramona has. Wait, left, right? Huh? No, no, no. Side, side, side, shovel. Backwards, forward, back. Or she'll one of those like a deeper things that Ramona has wait left right no no side side shuffle backwards Square dance and then one of her
Starting point is 00:34:49 What's the matter what's going on what's happening ladies? It's like You look marvelous now look here people walk that skinny girl Ali, man Skinny girl Ali, it's an ally made of me here's where people can see how good they look and the skinny girl change. Man, yeah. And if you're too big, then you don't deserve to be in this party anyway. You can't fit down. Skid girl, Ali, it's way to weed them out. Well, Sika is a little trouble. You won that trouble, but like social media trouble, which I guess she's used to, but when
Starting point is 00:35:23 she said she was coming out with skinny girl jeans everyone was like, oh my god How dare you fat shame her, you know, it's like the most inappropriate label to put on jeans and so she's very careful in this episode I'm like, oh my god, we got size zero. We got size three thousandths like seriously. No one is too fat for my jeans, okay? All right, let's write bring the fattest person you know here and we'll put them in checkings, okay? Yeah Right, bring the fattest person you know here, and we'll put them in checkings, okay? Yeah. Hahaha. So, Tinsley shows up and she's like trying to order a drink
Starting point is 00:35:51 from the bartender and she was like, Uh, do you have any like, um, like, red wine? No, white wine, no. She's like, well, we have a leechie martini. She's like, perfect. I don't know why. She's just like, very excited about that leachie martini. She was like, oh my god.
Starting point is 00:36:07 And because Dale's just sitting there on the phone and be like, what do you say? You could put it on speaker, I want to hear. What do you say? I'll tell you what, Tinslayer, that forest scum was right. You never know what you're going to get. What's that a hazel nut? What's that a hazel nut in that chocolate? Come on, I'm a broken potato, but they don't have wines. Was that a hazel nut? Was that a hazel nut in that chocolate?
Starting point is 00:36:29 Come on, I'm a broken potato, but they don't have wines, and I'm like a daffatino! Well, Dosa, don't get obsessed when he says he needs more time for himself, Tinsley. Okay. I am so disappointed. Why? What did I do? Not in you. I just have one of those chocolates that was just chocolate. Who puts cherries? Who puts cherries inside a chocolate-seized dough? Strings like.
Starting point is 00:36:49 What is Mr. Stove going to realize that we need a guide on these chocolate boxes? I don't want to have a surprise every time. So then we get, and then Bethany comes up to her and she's like, oh my god, it's you, it's you, it's you, it's you. Oh my god, so you were out of town with your boyfriend? That's great, did you get a ringette? And she's like, no my god. So you were out of town with your boyfriend. That's great Did you get a ring yet? And she's like no just another diamond bracelet To then Sonia arrives
Starting point is 00:37:14 She looks fully like The like a white version of the lady in the beginning of little shop of ours Who's like, you know, when singing Skid Row, like, you know, that lady, it's time to go, she's like, you know, lady walking with like the bags down the street, that scene. It's like, so, you know, it's like, well, the alarm goes off at seven, it's time to rise. Like, she can't, it's like well the alarm goes off at seven. It's time to rise like she can't let's like sing it chan because it's baaabey i don't know i'm just like i'm doing the totally wang
Starting point is 00:37:54 the guy the guy who's working the buffet is like and then you go skinny girl where the jeans are tight skinny girl where the drinks are light skinny girl Where you're just helping Bethany grow Down on skinny girl Get row, okay, I'll tell you for that's where the skinny girl party is get row who goes there, okay? They're like if I saw that woman homeless in front of singing in front of a building that's saying, you know what you need citrus, okay on your face Rapids right um, so you show this, but at least she'll be young and homeless, okay Have you noticed that that homestead looks younger and younger and younger
Starting point is 00:38:40 Anti-aging homestead So, yeah comes in in like a fur patting tin bare hat. She really she just looks crazy And she's like, oh Jeff and Olive I'm not eating meat only vegetables. I'm like you're wearing a fur hat. Yeah, she just goes I'm vegan now like like It was just decided literally 30 seconds before It was like an improv exercise where someone like tapped her and she's like, okay, I'm vegan now. Great.
Starting point is 00:39:09 That you man are those vegetables. I'm vegan now. Oh, is that a falafel? I love falafel. That's chickpea, right? And the guy goes garbanzo beans, which by the way, it's a chickpea bean. It's the same thing. And she goes, oh, garbanzos. I eat those. And he's like, okay. And then, and she's like, well, though, she's like, I think I make me gassy though. So then, Sonia, she sees like a raw bar. A bunch of like oysters. She's like, oh, perfect. And she just starts eating them. She goes, I mean, I'm vegan,
Starting point is 00:39:39 but I allow myself seafood because it's raw. It's like the shrimp are cooked. Yeah, like you're making Porsche Williams look good, okay. How are you making Porsche Williams like the authority here? So then she starts taking the seaweed off the display. And she goes, oh, that's a display. Well, I had to eat the garnish.
Starting point is 00:39:58 It's a delicacy. And then she just starts dancing while she's eating. And the buffet guy starts dancing with her. I was like, oh my god, that's for me at every wedding I ever go to alone. So, um, Beth needs to start making a speech about who knows what. Like, oh my god, Jeans, you know, you know, not like about jeans, they can wear them. They fit all people, like jeans. Also, like DNA, that's pretty cool. You know, there's like DNA, DNA as in us, and those jeans, jeans, jeans. Okay. Back girls, skinny girls, you know, any kind of girls,
Starting point is 00:40:24 like not really in between between but mostly like really fat A really skinny like a look it feels very inclusive to me. That's what I love about yeah We got like a guy up here, but like it's all about women like we have one guy all women like this for women It's a woman thing. It's like okay. So then Dorenda like hobbles in she's now wearing a boot skinny girl boot and From her salt shaker injuries, I'm like 15 black. So, um, so they're all just now, they're all just like talking and gabbling and they're kind of all talking over each other. And Sonia is talking to Tinsley and and Durinda and she's talking to Tinsley about moving in
Starting point is 00:41:00 because she's going to be moving in because her hats under construction and she's like, yeah, I got all my life. My whole world is just on that four-post bed. And I don't know if you caught this, but Drenda goes, I can imagine what that can just sound. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. We're telling my dad Let's have this conversation once and move through it, okay? Cuz I've been leaking about it a lot like quite you say thank you and friend it everyone You should have said thank you. No sensitive about it But now I didn't even want to see enough cracker again cuz it's been making me so crazy now
Starting point is 00:41:37 I'm seeing that crack cuz I'm very well Yeah, it's Christmas, so I bet I bet his response is pretty much like yeah Well remember that I not before Puerto Rico. I remember how you acted like a crazy person. I still brought you to Puerto Rico. How about that? I was like, really? I even talked about that. Yeah, no, yeah, because that's what friends do.
Starting point is 00:41:51 I'm a good friend. I'm a good friend. I'm a good friend. Okay, just remember that. I took on a private plane. She not only uses your bad men in Cigrens, she's like, rollsando. She's like the movie jazz. That's a good day.
Starting point is 00:42:02 She's a good day. She's a good guy. She's a good guy. She's a good guy. She's a good guy. She's a good guy. She's a good bad jaw. The wall again. The window. Yeah, she yeah, Beth needs that jaws movie. Just when you think it's change to go back in the
Starting point is 00:42:12 water. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Shout shake. I get lost the leg. It comes off and takes up to sell shaker. I like how she calls it that jaws movie like, no, I forgot. It's that movie about the jaws whatever it's called jaws
Starting point is 00:42:29 Bethany's like yeah, but why did you talk about my back? Okay, like if Bethany she's coming ready to apologize But then once somebody is nice about it. She's like okay. I'll yell at you then like if you're not gonna If you're not gonna turn it on me then I'll turn it on you So now she's like well, why'd you talk about behind my back like why can't you just say it to my face like seriously? And she goes well, you know It's just because like I thought it was okay But then Carol came up and said I can't believe she didn't thank you and the music goes And Bethy does like that thing where if you like spritz a cat with water the cat
Starting point is 00:43:01 She drops a ball of yarn and runs under it counts. By the way, I can't stand the... Why did you talk about Bahamut back? You guys all talk about everything behind each other's back. You know, sometimes you just can't talk about everything to someone's face right at that moment. Okay, someone says something. It bothers you and then you think, hmm,
Starting point is 00:43:20 I feel like I should talk to Bethany about this, but maybe I'll talk, let me check in with someone so I think that maybe I'm overreacting like sometimes in life You just wind up talking behind someone's back and it's not a thing. It just happens. So like don't try to like Daryl at this point. So anyways, that's her argument too later in the episode with Carol She's like what what I have to say everything to your face like seriously exactly Exactly so yeah, but Darynde basically is look She can't throw Carol under the bus when she's like well Carol's the one who said, well, well, what the hell?
Starting point is 00:43:47 She didn't even thank you. So Bethany is like, so Bethany is like, like, well, you know, that's classic Durinda, okay? She always is like, if she can throw someone under the bus, she will, okay? She will. And then two seconds later, Bethany is like, well, I heard it. You were Superman because Ramona said that you were like, inconsolable about it. And like, you just threw Ramona onto the bus, the way they're into through Carol and to the bus. What are you talking about, Bethany?
Starting point is 00:44:08 Well, Ramona has no right to use my voice to say how I feel. And Ramona's very upset with you, okay? And so she's using it to buy a line. You see what she's doing? You see what she's doing? I'm about to say. All right, look, you saved Christmas and that's the truth. Okay, so can we just talk now?
Starting point is 00:44:24 Can we just talk? Yeah, Christmas, Sabre. Well, oh, Christmas, look, you saved Christmas and that's the truth. Okay, so can we just hug now? Can we just hug? Yay, Christmas, Sabre. Whoa, Christmas, yay, you saved Christmas. Yeah, kids are getting presents now, okay, Jorinda? Can we hug? Yeah. Do you get me your like mate, Selkshake, please? So then this hot bartender, but he's like hot with ski-vie.
Starting point is 00:44:42 He starts hitting on Sonya and he's like bringing he's bringing drink to Sonya and Tinzley and You know it's like a typical Sonya being like oh, I'm single right now. I'm single. Let me flick my hair. I'm single I'm sickle be your young your young Yeah, you know and he's like too lazy to even make a man button. He's got like a man like I don't know how to pile yeah yeah like a ribbon it's tied like one of those ribbons that you wear for like breast cancer aids or whatever like that little ribbon shape I'm like lazy yeah so during the intense that you're talking about Luan and during this thing I'm
Starting point is 00:45:18 not gonna say this all coming but you know you open the cabinet boom it's on your foot you know you open the cabinet and boom it's on your foot. Lou, you know what Lou does? She goes back to the crime scene. She's a crime scene goa. Is that a thing? A crime scene goa? She goes, she's a crime scene goa. Yeah, she goes, she's a return to the crime scene goa.
Starting point is 00:45:37 You know those people who are arsenics? It's like what? I think you mean arsonists. I don't know what she's talking. I was trying to figure out what she's talking about. Yeah, the elderly, you know, when people wear old lace, you know, our snakes in old lace. Yesterday, they go crime scene.
Starting point is 00:45:51 They like, return to the crime scene, go. I like how she just like, I like how she creates a new category of person, like in a very indelicate way. It's like, you know those people who love making left turns. Yeah, left turn people makers. Yeah. That's what they're called. Why would you return to your left turn? Go to the breakers. And turns, he's like, well, I think she might know the place she was okay, but then she got so drunk and it was okay. And Palm Beach is the smallest place on earth. And she's coming in and I'm as man as
Starting point is 00:46:21 a woman. When Dinsy said, Palm Beach is one of the smallest places on this earth. I was like, okay, Tinsy just will act, okay? It's like, it has an airport, all right. So what are you getting? And I guess now be a really good time to mention that we're bringing, watch or crap, and it's to Palm Beach. So yes, I guess you could say
Starting point is 00:46:42 that we're Climbed Team Goers too. West Palm Beach, I'm very excited. I think we are actually, I guess you could say that we're climbs and goers to West Palm Beach. I'm I think we are actually I think our I think the comedy club is in Palm Beach. It's in West Palm Beach Improv and you know how I'm gonna find out. I'm gonna go right now to watch what crappens I'm looking right now Palm Beach Improv. Let's see Well, it says it's you're right. It's West Palm. That's right. I wouldn't be going to Palm Beach. What am I monster? How how can I be so silly to think that we'd be in Palm Beach, but we know we are gonna go to Palm Beach. We are gonna take a we're gonna Take the Luan Tinsley tour of Palm Beach when across that bridge. Yeah, we're gonna be there in all
Starting point is 00:47:25 guests. Everyone. So if you want to come and relive, recreate via crime scene, rego or recapture with us, go to watch work.com and get tickets. So Bethany comes over and Brenda's like, look, how many of us are having that night? Well, we can we wake up like, what did I do? And Bethany goes, yeah, you did it, Tennessee, like you did it. And Tennessee's like, we wake up like, what did I do? And Bethany goes, yeah, you did it, Timsey. Like, you did it. And Timsey's like, there is a difference. She hit a cop and she slipped out of handcuffs.
Starting point is 00:47:51 And Beth's like, oh my God, I love that. That's amazing. Yeah, everyone's just like obsessed with the fact that Luanne got out of her handcuffs. I love that, like, the listeners are obsessed and her cast members are obsessed with it. That, like, that is hilarious. That is the funniest shit I've ever heard.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Yeah, she's a magical. Probably the only one who wasn't, well, no, I was gonna say, she already laughed about it never mind. I was gonna say Carol probably wasn't. Carol was probably like, that's not nice to the handcuffs. But Carol laughed about it anyway.
Starting point is 00:48:18 So I take it back. My musings from inside my head. This is what goes on inside my head, right here. This is what you're all seeing. You're, you're, um, you're crime scene goers in my own brain. Your brain is in the scene of the Yosniics. Yeah. So Sonia is flirting with the young guy again. And just you know embarrassing herself vegans. I don't know animals. for. You know, she's like, do you even have a drive for silence? Are you 26? Have you ever slept in a bed with with plastic around it? Do you know what's like to be under quarantine
Starting point is 00:48:54 in Santa Pei? She's talking to Bethany and she's basically, oh my god, you are my inspiration. He inspires so many my God, you are my inspiration. You inspire so many women to, you know, just lose weight or whatever. I'm gonna fuck that guy. And Bethany's like, I think he's my life partner. Which, you know, means Bethany's strong
Starting point is 00:49:15 because she's like having fun and being part of it. Yeah, because Bethany's like, seriously, thank you all for coming, like seriously, seriously, seriously. Thank you for coming, thank you for coming, seriously, thank you for coming. I was like, okay, she's wasted. She's being nice to them. I like, I like, I like Sonya being like, you are such an inspiration to me. Now I know exactly what to do to never have to yell at me on a couch.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Again, in my life, I've learned, I've inspired by that. By the way, my browser is still on watchwitcraftpans.com and the first picture is me looking like a sea otter catching a fish in the air So closing that now, okay, so Caroline and Caroline Carol said and Beth are having and Bethany are having lunch together and Carol He shows up. Yeah, Carol shows up with her beats around her neck. She's like I'm young 99% and then Bethany shows up like a Yeti detective. Okay, she has like a little like I was she wearing sunglasses, I think a little hat, like a little detective hat. And then this big old like Yeti Jack, like monsters that like a white version of the monsters
Starting point is 00:50:25 ink monster. And Carol's like, you like the ampam and the most no man. I'm just like that huh? Yeah, it's like monsters. I'm like monsters ink like if I'm gonna be a monster it's gonna be somebody with an ink. Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna be a monster ink.
Starting point is 00:50:37 Yeah. Senior VP of monster ink. Okay. Like the way I was so drunk last night I woke up my hair pieces were in backup tattoo chips which is hilarious. I mean like that's how I know I was drunk because I was lost on my head of a Tato chip huh? She needs a bloody Mary pleats she's still hung over from last night.
Starting point is 00:50:55 I was like okay, Judgey. Charger beats. So Beth is like oh my god. Good headphones. Deletion was on, okay you don't support Bose headphones, okay You don't support good audio All I told the wind all she should have done was had some citrus on her face So Carol's like oh my god the story sounds amazing
Starting point is 00:51:24 My favorite part was the handcuffs in my mind. She escaped and she's running across the lawn screaming I'm gonna kill you on me we're laughing, but I'm a dissolarious. I'll keep laughing So yeah upset with me like what's going on? I? Love how Carol ordered this to she goes yeah, I'm bread and the cucumber I miss that Carol ordered this to you. She goes, yeah. Um, Brad and the cucumber. I missed that. Brad and a cucumber. Delicious. Carol. Yeah. So yeah, Bethany's like, yeah, all right.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Well, that was fun. What's going on? Huh? You upset with me? What's happening? Circus. I'm out of Carol says she's basically like, well, you know, with our friendship, like this summer, there was like a new aggressive, dismissive vibe. I'm like, Carol, are you just becoming friends with Bethany?
Starting point is 00:52:08 Like, how have you only now found that vibe with Bethany? That's how she, like, that's her love language to be dismissive and aggressive. Yeah, well, it's like you turn on the sprinklers every night, but then you stand in front of one and you get mad at the sprinkler. Like, bitch, you're the one who's turned the sprinklers on. You've been turning those sprinklers on for years now and
Starting point is 00:52:26 you've been fine with them. Really a perfect analogy. It's a seal. That's Carol's broken up in a sprinkler or if you just turn out the Carol hose it just goes Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa So Carol base is like, well, I heard that you were annoyed with Adam and I wanted to talk to you about in the book years But then all you want to talk about was how our friendship shift is a friendship shift and I didn't get to talk about Adam And they're like going back and forth about this Adam stuff and my favorite part about this Was then on the bottom of the screen, a Jurassic World promo popped up. Did you see this?
Starting point is 00:53:30 Like a, like a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Velossupper, like, I was like, that is so perfect for right now. Carol and Bethany and then these two dinosaurs are coming at us. Like, what is the scariest part? What is the scariest thing on the screen right now? I'll tell you one thing, it's not the T-Rex. Oh yeah. Oh. The other one has a cucumber and some toast.
Starting point is 00:53:55 I'm like, I know. So Beth needs apologizing because she did call Carol and really shit talk Adam, but she did that because she thought they were broken up. So it's kind of her way of helping being like, yeah, she's an asshole. Yeah, and she and by the way, she said she's not upset at all about Carol's contributions to retraction. I don't care about that. I don't care about that, but like you said, she bases like, you know, I like, I actually like Adam, but you know what? I was like, I, he, he,
Starting point is 00:54:21 but he said it rub me the wrong way and I called you up and I talked a lot of shit because I thought you guys were totally broken up. So I thought thought like I was able to do that and be okay And then he carol's like but it wouldn't have been no cake anyway, and she's like no, I know and she goes She goes listen, I question his motive sometimes. That's my prerogative. I you know is my bad And she actually is like fully like no, I should not have I I talked too much I I missed judge the situation is basically what she's saying But she keeps saying I'm allowed. I'm allowed. Okay. Like I'm allowed to say that. And so, Carol, she goes, but look Carol, I love you. Like seriously, like it's Christmas and I texted you and I sent a picture of us.
Starting point is 00:54:55 And I said, you know, like I miss you. And then you said, it's a lot. And she goes, you said that's what happened. That's not what actually happened. So what happened? And then Carol just kind of rolls her eyes Kissy Bethany's like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it's like commercial So we come back she's like, and also I just want to say before going down this path a little bit that that Carol says that she doesn't like that Bethany saw as saw Adams actions in a negative light. What what? she doesn't
Starting point is 00:55:23 Because Bethany says that the way Adam acted that it ruptured the wrong way and, what, she doesn't, because Bethany says that the way Adam acted that it erupted the wrong way. And Carol says that she doesn't like that Bethany thought that Adam's actions saw Adam's actions in a negative light and then talked to everyone else about it. So she hasn't, she feels like Bethany Wayne. Just like, yeah, I'm heard and talked to you about Adam to everyone.
Starting point is 00:55:38 Mm-hmm. And she's like, well, I got to LA and I opened my phone and you've got all these texts and you're like, why aren you mad and we're about as a terrible person and all this. And I said, this is not a conversation for texts. And then you just kept texting and texting and texting. Which is so best. And he's like, what? I just said, I love you. And it's like, of course she didn't, she called. Yeah. And it's like 10 pages of text just ranting like a crazy person. she didn't, she called. Yeah. And it's like 10 pages of text just
Starting point is 00:56:03 ranting like a crazy person. I love that she just like annoyed the fuck out of Carol. Like, like, her carol's like, she's like, well, like, what's going on? I miss you. And then she's just like, ranting about remodeling. Carol's like, I, I, I, can we just like talk about this?
Starting point is 00:56:16 We get back to you. I can't right now. And then the, the Betty just kept on texting her. And then I like, her goes, she had no respect for what I just said. I'm like, well, okay, well, yeah, I guess she didn't because you said, can we talk about this later, but like, you know, if someone keeps texting you up, you say, I can't talk right now.
Starting point is 00:56:34 You just be like, they're being annoying. Don't be like, they have no respect for me and for my bound. He's like, okay, Carol, yeah, calm down over there. She's like, I'm going to write an article about this and fog. Or whatever. So now Carol's, now Carol starts saying that she's mad that Bethany said that she looks sad. When, when Carol looked Bethany's, uh, Christmas party, when Bethany was like, she looks sad.
Starting point is 00:56:56 So Carol's like, I didn't like that. And Carol's like, I would, I would never tell Ramona that you look sad about your breakup with Dennis. I'm like like even though you But you did Sorry, I'm getting twisted my own logic. She's saying if it were me I would never be like oh you look sad You look sad. I'm like but when you walked out the party with the Rinda you were like wow she didn't thank you
Starting point is 00:57:17 I'm like so you would do something like that. Yeah, they're all hypocrites and I love it and I'm like I'm not allowed to say that what do I have a gag order? Like seriously? Like I can't talk about you. I just said, look, say it. Like, say it. Oh, we love this. That's me with the gag order. Yeah, good luck. She still she'd still be like, the gag would give up. Like, I can't like you guys can't hear it because I'm covering it. But like my ear that's in her mouth is like, I can't hear any more of this shit. Breaking news, New York City, a gag has killed itself.
Starting point is 00:57:51 A gag jumped out of someone's mouth and into traffic. And it was run over by Kelly Bensonon. Who is friends with Julie, or Gwyneth Paltrow? Yeah. So, Carol, basically, Carol doesn't like that Bethany has been gossipy. That's what it really boils down to. She feels like Bethany has been talking behind her back about Adam, and now she's talking about Ramona, and she just feels like Bethany is super gossipy, and that's the issue.
Starting point is 00:58:22 Yeah, she didn't even know they had a problem, so she heard about it from everybody else, which is true. But here is also where I switch sides. It's like it happens every week. I'm not really sides because I think they're both assholes, but now I'm like, okay, Carol enough, like shut up, like her blog the week that this came out came out the day either the day before the show aired or the day of the show. And it's just another like rant against Bethany. It's like, okay, you're overplaying your hand, ma'am. Okay. Nothing that's happened is this bad. Yeah, it's weird because I feel like Bethany actually stated her case really well. And I'm like, you know, what Bethany is saying is like, she did say, you know what, she seems sad. And she also was, she was like very upfront about that whole
Starting point is 00:59:03 conversation. She had about Adam and everything. But then where Bethany lost me is that she made it sound like she sent three lines of text and then Carol was like, no, she was texting this, this, and this, and this. And I was just like, this is too big of a conversation. We'll talk when we get back in New York. So Bethany is leaving out information, which is not cool. But then again, Carol, it's like like, why did you just call her? Like, why did you, and I think that's,
Starting point is 00:59:29 that's like part of the issue is that there probably was a time where Carol would have called and they would have talked, and then Carol doesn't call her now. So that's why Bethany is acting crazy. And Carol's like, should we hug it out? I'm not really a huger. Well, Bethany goes, well, but the baiting,
Starting point is 00:59:44 you're Bethany, you're like, Carol, everything you do is the debate. You're always debating, it's like Bethany goes with the baiting you're Bethany He's like Carol Everything you do is the debate you're always debating it's like you're checking boxes like you win Carol Yeah, you win you win. Okay. You just you win. Yeah. You got it. You got it. She's like no That's what you're doing Bethany, which is funny because that's a good debate, but And the bed is like I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't I I can't. I'm kind of like, I don't want any of the power. I'm like, it's like, oh my God.
Starting point is 01:00:09 And then Bethany goes, it's like, it's like you're just being so critical. You're so critical. You're so critical. I'm like, do you remember that you reamed out Ramona last episode? Do you remember Miss, like, like Bethany is not critical. Yeah, do you remember every talking head you've done, like even in this episode? Yeah, so she pulls out a loss inch. That's how you can tell that Bethany is like now
Starting point is 01:00:26 like rendered powerless. You have to pull out a loss. Yeah, that's well. Yeah. So my throat. Sorry, here's the wrong loss in voice. No, that was Bethany's voice when she needs a loss. Okay, that's much better. Listen, I'm sorry, I'm going to apologize to you. I'll apologize to Adam. I apologize that if everyone, I apologize to sweet it. I apologize to the loss and apologize to Yeti. I'm gonna. I'll apologize to you. I'll apologize to Adam. I apologize to everyone. I apologize to sweet it. I apologize to the Lossinger. I apologize to Yeti. Why kill to get this jacket? All right. I'll just sit here peacefully.
Starting point is 01:00:49 Suck this last one to watch you eat bread and cucumber, okay? And so they talk about hugging and she's like, I'm not really a hugger. She just you've hugged me before. Okay, well, I talk you win again, Bethany. Yeah, so they have like a fake Resoluteging resolution moment. So now we go to Sonia's, oh, to Sonia moving into Tinsley's hotel apartment. So good. So Sonia is thrilled because this is like the lap of modern luxury.
Starting point is 01:01:20 It's not like the whole broke down left over luxury from days of year. It's like this new luxury thing and she's like Tim's like no one is gonna call me a bad friend again Louis Vuitton He's like oh my god a Louis Yeah, yeah, just listen listening. Somebody stayed on my yacht once and they gave me a Louis Vuitton and it has hand painted and it was a fake and I tried to return it.
Starting point is 01:01:51 I was like, I'd like to return this Louis Vuitton to the Louis Vuitton store. They wouldn't take my Louis Vuitton. And that's when I got my first headshot. Not headshot, what on the top of my headshot? Yeah, so Tinsley was like, she's like, okay, here are the rules. When you stay with Tinsley, there are no rules. Actually, this one rule you can't actually stay with me. You're going in a
Starting point is 01:02:15 different room. You got the pen house. This was so good that she rented a whole penthouse to not have somebody in her house. I mean, that is prices. So, you're like, who can say no to a pent house? It's not plastic for ever the bed just in case there's mics. Yeah, even actually she still managed to complain a little bit because she's like, well, it's bittersweet because I was really looking forward to having a slumber party. I was like, you have a penthouse in Tinsley's hotel apartment, okay? Like just take it. And you got Louis Vuitton bag for free. Well, she's having. Tinsley made up her. Tinsley finally made up for it. Sonia was happy as a clam at a robber being by again. Yeah, she really was. So Dorenda
Starting point is 01:03:02 goes to the park and she's like getting her phone up to her face and looks like it's gonna be for her face time But then Leigh Wank calls and she's like you can't be doing an Easter That's what I like to call Durinda Lebench This is more shocking. He made for me was more shocking than a giant South-Sake of falling and breaking my eyes at foot That's gonna sequel in misery called salty. Well, I can hardly believe it, first of all. He was the plan. I was invited to a wedding in Chile,
Starting point is 01:03:33 and I figured I would fly into Palm Beach and just stay with a friend, and then go see my family in Jupiter. And then, well, it didn't happen like that. Turns out El Chavo already flew out, flew down to Chile. Took my spot and I was like, well, what am I going to do? We just go sit around here and bomb each and drink. Guess what?
Starting point is 01:03:51 Option B. Oh, then I go to lunch and I sit in the same seats where I had lunch with Tom. And then I wouldn't have cocktails with the place we loved having vodka martinis and I had vodka martinis. And then I ended up in the hotel. We had a wedding lunch and why did I do that? Then I went to a shoe store where I sat down and I was like hey I remember sitting in this exact space to try and some crocs with Tom. There was a crosswalk we
Starting point is 01:04:15 wouldn't wait for the light to blink and I walked across crosswalk without waiting for the light to blink. Why? I went into a yogurt land, the same yogurt land that Tom and I used to go into. I used the exact same nozzle to pull the exact same flavor that I always get a yogurt land. The same one with Tom. Why? Why? I watched friends on the plane. That's what I did with Tom. Why would I do that? I sat on the aisle. I always sat on the aisle. Why? I left on my sat on the aisle with Tom. Why? Why? Not to mention the aisle. Oh. We went to David, I went to David Buster's by myself. I did ski ball. I always did ski ball with Tom. Why would I do that? What a mistake.
Starting point is 01:04:55 So she goes, so Durand does like, well, because it lewans like, oh, all these emotions. They just came flooding back. Too much really handled. And Durand is like, don't ever go back to Palm Beach. That is not a vacation destination for you anymore. No more Palm Beach. What about West Palm? No!
Starting point is 01:05:17 Well, I was trying to drink out of, drink out the emotions, you know? I knew I needed help and I hid them all. I wish it hadn't been a brick wall. What am I the Kool-Aid man? Three, two, one is a brick. Wall. I hit my head hard. On the brick wall, Kool-Aid. Brick. Wall. And then before you knew it, the piano man switched into a montage we hadn't even practiced. Bad boys, bad boys. What you gonna do when they come for you, eh?
Starting point is 01:05:47 I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna slip out of my handcuffs and sing. Three, two, one, El Nuts Krakow, Nuts Krakow, Nuts Krakow, Nuts Krakow. Did you notice Dorenda's iPhone? She had, so she, you know, she's talking to Lewand, so it has her contact. You know, like when you call someone on an iPhone, at the top, it'll say like, it'll say like Ronnie Karam. But if I have like two entries, contact entries for you, let's say I have one that
Starting point is 01:06:16 says like Ronnie Karam and one that says like, um, flip it, you know, from TV Gasm. If you call me it would say Ronnie Carram or flip it. So on hers it said, Luana De La Seps or LaWanne and Nana De La Salsa. I didn't like couldn't even fit on the screen. It's it said L, U, A, N, N, N, A, D, E, S, S, S, like one word. Like clearly the first time that they're into Everett the Wann. She just mashed in these letters, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that fun girl I made her probably the countess. Like, she could've used the- I didn't use the man, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:02 There's a sound shake you're filming film in the fucking winter space bars. Well, I hope that's not her ice contact. They'd be like, what the fuck is this? You're very... Yes, yes, yes. Hey, my foot's turning black. Call me, you're never, never, never. Like, what?
Starting point is 01:07:23 Let me tell you something. Now that I'm a jailbird who's Learned the coup now and rehab and try to avoid all these armies and these 28 days where I'm here I have to say it was a part the hard thing was calling my children and being like no tack out Tuesday this week I'm in jail and then I had to call my mom and My mom hasn't been this disappointed since I did a news a news story and a big lots parking lot I'll tell you this is rock bottom you can't get worse than being arrested. This is rock bottom I'm like mmm. You can get a lot worse than being arrested probably Yeah, give it time honey. Give it time. So she's like well, I'm reconnecting. I'm reconnecting with my soul.
Starting point is 01:08:06 And the wind is like, that sounds good. I wanna come. It's like, you'll get your chance. Oh, you certainly will. You certainly will. She's like, well, you do have to get arrested first. I think three munch-shots is enough of this group. Who's the third munch-shot?
Starting point is 01:08:22 Sonya. Oh, I forgot Sonya got arrested. Yeah, I thought you just mentioned it. I did. Oh, I forgot. Sonia got arrested. I thought you just mentioned it. I actually have forgotten too until you I thought you had mentioned it just before. Yes, Sonia has a monk shot. Oh, I forgot. I forgot and I just mentioned it. I mean, that's pretty sad. Well, you know, it It was a Louis Vuitton incident. I got leprosy from a fake Louis Vuitton vendor. It had to be in quarantine on my bed. Oh, yeah, that was just kidding mention. I didn't know Suni had a mic shot. I love it. I
Starting point is 01:08:56 think it's from the do you are I think I don't know you can look it up. It's a very pretty big shot. This so. Okay, everybody, we are done with this episode. And now we're done. I know we're done Don't go forget don't forget to go buy your t-shirts. Well, that's what crap is calm That's also we can get tickets for upcoming shows and feedings in San Francisco this month They're gonna be a ball A big ball will school. I'm sure we'll be singing some songs like three two one We're in Phoenix and going to San Francisco
Starting point is 01:09:27 Where I left my heart Everybody will talk to you next time Bye bye Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself
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