Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Flirts Come, Flirts Served
Episode Date: August 28, 2023This week on Real Housewives of New York (S14E07), Erin is furious when she finds out that Brynn flirted with her husband, and she's going to get her revenge in the most depraved way possible...: by having a bad attitude at a wreath-making event!This is a two part recap. Part 2 coming up shortly!Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/88397447See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.
I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the birthday boy, birthday boy from two days ago.
Mr. Ronnie Caram, hi Ronnie, how's it going?
Well, hello, how are you?
I am wonderful.
How is your birthday in Palm Springs?
It was so fun.
I actually went out into the sun.
I mean, I was covered in a whole hat
and everything like a big lady's sun hat
because you know, my skin doesn't have any layers
like tissue paper after chemical
peels and stuff. But I went out, I had so much fun. I'm in lovely Palm Springs today.
So if I sound different, it's because I'm feeling just richer and most wow. Wow. I was
going to turn the camera and show you the house. But then my whole setup almost fell on the
ground. So you'll just have to imagine it. It's Kyle Richard's house.
Yeah, Kim is holding the camera up.
Hi, my name is Shae Lecate, my name is Focuson.
Well while you fix that, everyone welcome to Watch Your Crappens.
We are on video.
We're always on video.
You can check it out.
Go to patreon.com slash watch your crappens and you support it on the crappens on demand
level.
You can watch our video if they're exclusively. And then eventually goes over to YouTube, but it's at Patreon first for a spell.
So there's that, we also have our weekly bonus episode.
Oh, last week we were going to do Southern Charm as our bonus.
And because of our scheduling, we wound up actually putting crappy lake, the finale as our bonus.
So we're going to be doing the Southern Charm trailer this week in some capacity.
And then also next week we have crappy hour.
That's going to be Monday at 5.30 pm on the West Coast.
It'll be 8.30 on the East Coast.
It's our IG live show.
We are still experimenting with how it looks and sounds etc.
Trying to get our audio improved yada yada yada.
So if it looks like a little different or sounds a et cetera, trying to get our audio improved, yada, yada, yada.
So if it looks like a little different, it sounds a little different, that's why.
But we are excited for that.
That's when you come on, join us on Instagram and ask us questions and we're going to talk
and we'll talk about Bravo Gossip, whatever's going on in Bravo, et cetera, et cetera, et
cetera.
And we've done it twice so far.
We've had such a great fun time.
It's basically the new iteration of Take a Seat.
So come join us at Watch for Crappens on Instagram
and follow Ronnie, Ronnie's at Ronnie Caram.
I'm at Ben Mandelker.
And that's basically all the new and exciting stuff.
Of course, I have to give a big shout out
to some of the Crappens listeners who gathered yesterday
at my crab house, formerly known as
Oh My Crab. I had mentioned on the podcast a few weeks ago that I'd gone to this local
restaurant called Oh My Crab that I really enjoyed and I felt like it was going to go out
of business and I told everyone you guys have to go to Oh My Crab. And so then some of
the listeners were like, let's go to Oh My Crab, let's do a thing.
So I went and I joined them various people,
including one of the edible Matthews sisters,
incredible edible Matthews sisters, Aaron Matthews.
So anyway, shout out to all those wonderful ladies
who showed up yesterday at My Crab House.
We had such a fun time.
That was fun, I love that.
Let's put it on a show and save the crab house.
Yeah, I think all eight of us really turned around
the fortunes for that restaurant.
Yeah, the restaurant is now just gonna be crab house forever.
I know, and actually there were a good number of people
in there that day yesterday, so you know,
maybe it's already being saved.
There you go, you know.
You've gotta put something out into the universe
and then it happens. It's still always great, it's always great to see, you know, You've got to put something out into the universe and then it happens.
It's still always great.
It's always great to see people
from the crap in this community.
So it was a super, super fun time.
We talked a lot about Bravo.
A lot about Bravo.
Well, of course, we talked a lot about Bravo.
Like, what else is there to talk about?
We talked about the crappies.
We reminisced on stories.
We get a bunch of crap in this people together
to talk about like economic policy. Yeah, we were definitely like talking about scandival, all that good stuff. And I made a cake.
I made a cake that, I don't know what possessed me, but it had, well actually when I counted it
back, it had seven cups of sugar in it, and it had five bars of butter in it. Maybe you can't do
that when you're making cake. It like destroys the, you're like stealing all the joy
from the cake.
Okay.
It was pretty amazing.
You can't start judging the cake after you eat the cake.
It was pretty amazing.
It was pretty amazing.
So it was a fun time had by all.
But you know what?
For right now, we have to talk about real housewives
of New York, okay? Let's do it.
Let's do it.
What?
Fett.
So previously on New York, let me just give a spoiler for those of you who aren't watching.
Previously on New York, Aaron is a 70 year old, uh, 70 year old, Karen in a 35 year old body.
And this week on reality, I mean, on real house wives of New York, Aaron is also a 76 woman old Karen in a 35 year old woman.
Who hangs out with this person?
Although we did learn something big about Aaron today, she is constantly fed, pushed, triggered,
and groomed to be an asshole by her bitch ass husband, Abe.
What a bitch.
Can I just start by saying Abe, you are the worst of all husbands because you inspire your wife to be this kind of person.
And then you sit in the background with a smile on your face like, that's her.
She sure is pissed.
And I'm going to support her no matter what even
when you're sitting there triggering it half the time Abe you know I knew there was something funky
about you Abe and it's that you're a fucking bitch and a snitch snitch has bitch Abe hey Abe you
know what happens to snitches the married bitches I got I don't mean I don't know what is the
term bitches bitches they get stitches they get stitches they get stitches am I threatening't mean I don't know what is the term bitches. They get stitches. They get stitches. They get stitches
Am I threatening you? No, I'm just telling you how saying's work
Snitch meanwhile somewhere in New York somewhere in New York Aaron saying
Snitchers get bitches
Cackling hags
Cackling hags
76 year old Karen I can't you know are these people always marry each other these people who are just so over dramatic about everything It just need to be pissed off about everything
But Abe was doing a really good job acting like well here. I am just lovely supportive Abe and you know
She's the one who's like kind of a bitchy Karen, but I'm just here to support her because I love her.
And then we find out it's like my 600 pounds,
my 600 pound life where you find out what a feeder is.
You know, Abe is the feeder.
You're the you're the feeder of negative bad news
against everybody else Abe, okay?
You have just as much of a problem as Aaron
and you both need severe therapy. If you bring a cake with seven cups of sugar and five bars of butter to a party,
does that make you a feeder just asking for a friend?
You're a feeder too.
So that's why you're being so quiet on this subject and trying to change it.
No, I was trying to think if there's like a devil's advocate,
if maybe he's just like trolling Aaron, like he just says this stuff just to wind her up because it's just it's fun for him because he's got no other.
The big giveaway was that he didn't know he was being recorded. So when he's on the
screen, he's just doing the regular snitching in the scene where we see his face. But then
when she calls him after she leaves the party later, you see that he doesn't know what he's
on camera and you hear how he really talks. and that was the real pivotal part of the episode
Where we really got to see inside Abe what and I was happy because we haven't seen the asshole side of a husband at the end
We the end of the episode
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was Kelly
Not even no she calls Abe
Really yeah Not even. No. She calls Abe. Really? Yeah.
Why?
Was it Kelly at this whole time?
I hate Abe's guts.
I, you know what?
I'm gonna go back to the footage right now
because I feel like this is such a,
we're making some hot takes right here
because I wrote down that it was Kelly.
And I, but the thing is,
I was like,
God Kelly's voice sounds weird.
So one of us had a perception issue.
I'm gonna lie. I have Abe. It's a man. He's saying,
I told you she's fucking rude. Okay, you know what? I'm gonna go. I'm looking for five hours away,
by the way, everybody in this recap and like recap time. It's a very long way. Okay, we look up
Real House was in New York City. Okay, I'm on YouTube TV on another tab right now. And then,
in New York City, okay, I'm on YouTube TV on another tab right now. And then, okay, scroll through Jessel being Jessel, Jessel, Jessel, Jessel, Jessel, Jessel, Jessel, Jessel.
Okay, Erin, oh, midseason, I went to Farman's season trailer. I'm gonna get to the bottom
of this because I think, okay, here she is. She's now, she's walking. They're all talking
about her. Yeah, I'm just putting it on mute because I don't think I need to hear all this in my ear at the same time.
I'm monitoring this. Okay. Kelly, Aaron's sister on the phone.
I need to caption. No, I have to hear it. I have to be Abe.
So that's Kelly. That's Kelly. Okay, okay, okay, I apologize before we even get there
But I don't apologize for calling you a stitch and a bitch because you're a stitch in a bitch
Now I'm not as furious with you because what you were saying like calling her a bitch and stuff at the end was not you
That was Kelly, so it's different like that. I don't hate Abe that I really don't like me still a snitch in a bitch
Kelly. So it's different. I don't hate Abe, but I really don't like me still a snitch in a bitch. Very sad. I was so confused because I was like, yeah, I mean, I don't think Abe is
great. But I was like, well, Rani is really on one about Abe right now this morning. And
I was like, I want to support it because I love one. He's on one about someone. But I didn't
really understand. And then when you said, Oh, and then what he was saying at the end of
the episode, I was like, Oh, I think that there's been a misunderstanding. I was furious because
he was calling them bitches and stuff like that. And I was like, whoa, I think that there's been a misunderstanding. I was furious because he was calling them bitches and stuff like that.
And I was like, whoa, I don't think the husbands get to come on and call the ladies
bitches. And I was pissed off.
And they have a fuck.
So, okay, take it back.
I mean, I don't take it back.
You're still a stitch bitch, but, you know, the last scene I take, you didn't call all the women
bitches. So that's good. You're a little, you're still a little nicer in my moment of redemption,
of light redemption for Abe. But now, um, but, but thank you for saving me too, because
then that's all I need is these, these, these, these, these New York lovers coming after
me. I can't dare you. Disparadjameame He has Peter Gallagher eyebrows. He's an icon of husband one of the top five house house
Hubsism of all time Abe we stand Abe I
Got my brows
Yeah, that makes a lot more sense if you thought that's what Abe was saying at the end of the episode makes a lot more sense
Why do you be like what the fuck with this guy? Yeah, I was like, wow, that guy,
we see how he really feels he can talk to women now.
I don't like that.
Like, I was just Kelly.
So it's just, it's just the thirsty
sister trying to force her way into a friend of role.
Not gonna get it, Kelly.
Kelly, you tried real hard.
Can't remember what you look like.
Okay, as far as I'm concerned,
you're like a Coke bottle cap with a wig. Like I have no idea what you look like. Okay. As far as I'm concerned, you're like a Coke bottle cap
with a wig.
Like I have no idea what you look like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this episode starts.
I have to wait.
Shouldn't being on vacation in lovely palms springs
in a home with a pool and bright colors and air conditioning.
Shouldn't that put someone in a better mood?
I mean, just listen to me go.
You would think my life is ending.
And I'm just telling you
really ripping throats out 10 minutes into a podcast. You really, I mean, you really don't write into this with you were like, you know what?
I'm in Palm Springs. You're on vacation from your on vacation for like from holding back. You're like, you know what? I'm on vacation. I'm gonna say it all right now.
Fuck Abe. Fuck his, fuck his sisterlike voice at the end of the episode.
Do you know what else it is?
I think it's coming to Palm Springs as a gay,
who's almost 50.
I mean, I turned 48 this birthday.
And so, coming here, almost 50, this is where we come to die.
I mean, this is where the gays come to die.
We come to do coke here in our 20s and think it's cute. But we all know this is where we come to die. I mean, this is where the gaze come to die. We come to do coke here in our 20s
And think it's cute, but we all know this is where we come to retire
Yeah, and I think just coming here
Did something to me or I was like, oh my god, I'm dying, you know
I was like what so I passed a memory care place and I was like I'm gonna live there one day
You know, I started looking at it in a different way and I I think part of my feelings are hurt
I was like, oh my god. I'm gonna die here alone in the heat You know, I started looking at it in a different way, and I think part of my feelings are hurt.
I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna die here alone in the heat.
You're projecting.
I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna die sitting by a pool because I'm never gonna find anybody,
and I'm just gonna be a bag of bones out by a pool.
They're gonna find me with like 10 degree burns on my face.
Well, you know what?
My therapist will often say that anger is, you know, it's usually
something that we feel to mask things like fear. And so you're expressing your fear and you're
masking it with anger towards Abe. There you go. So, okay, well, my life is over. Okay, so let's get
started with this, this episode. This is season 14 episode Sjete, which for those of you who aren't by in the
lingual, that means seven. Okay. Episode seven. So we're at a photo shoot for Love Scene, which I
feel like that's a brand for Jussle Love Scene because I feel like that she's someone who loves
being seen. And Jenna is walking around with an assistant
who I have to also imagine is her goddaughter.
And she's like giving her a rundown.
I'm like, we need to do this for the photo shoot
and that for the photo shoot.
And if I'm ever busy, just say right on top of it, Rose,
Yada, Yada, Yada, eyelashes over there,
curtains over there, goddaughter over there,
all the usual stuff.
The assistant was doing that assistant thing
where they explain things like in a really fancy way.
So they sound like they're doing important stuff.
You know what I mean?
Like they sound like their stuff is way more important
than it is.
Like she goes, okay, we're gonna have photographers set up here,
we're gonna have models set up here,
and then Heather, the photographer,
is gonna be shooting them in real time.
I was like, oh wow, you're not gonna put her
in the fucking time machine.
So she could shoot it from 20 years ago.
How the fuck else are you gonna shoot it?
It's all real time.
So then we cut to Uba coughing in her apartment
because Uba is theoretically still on the show.
So she's coughing and dropping food on the floor.
That's her one, that's almost her only moment
on the entire show and like some grainy
FaceTime at the like while the credits roll
Like five second rule god that was hilarious
What a wild and interesting group women we are eating food off of the floor
This is the most hilarious scene of the house wise where I do something in a toaster with COVID.
I'm a model who eats food off the floor.
I mean, you get to this on camera right now.
And then, Brenn, who I just want to scream icon
when she comes on, because I see people on Twitter doing it.
You know, how that works, where you see people like,
oh my god, icon.
It's like it used to be with Erica Jane,. I feel like when Erica Jane first came on house,
wise people are like, oh my God, I con. And I was like, okay, I mean, she ate a piece
of cake. Like she ate a bite of cake in that one episode. Yeah. But I just could never
like her even though I tried. And that's kind of what's happening with brand. And like,
I guess we've been seen, we've been shown her trauma and stuff. And you're supposed to
like people, if they have trauma, I guess that's like the, we've been shown her trauma and stuff. And you're supposed to like people if they have trauma.
I guess that's like the rule.
Like if you know someone's trauma, you have to like them.
Still don't like her.
And here's why she starts out scenes like this.
She takes one of the hackiest scene, housewife scene openings,
which is the moaning like you're having sex.
And she's just working out in a training gym.
But she's just like,
like you're having sex and she's just working out in a training gym. But she's just like,
lifting a kettlebell. I just... Yeah. It's not something I'm prudent. I mean, I love sex. I just don't love that kind.
Well, I just think it's just the whole, like, sounds like someone's having sex, but they're at the gym
is played out and this one they don't even try.
Normally what they do is the producers showed the exterior
of a building, and then show empty rooms,
and you hear the moaning, and then you see them working out.
Here, they just cut right to a gym,
and so you just know it's a gym,
and there's people walking around.
I just hear her moaning, you're like,
oh, there's someone pretending to have an orgasm
out of gym right now, and lo and behold, it's
it's Brynn.
Yeah, I'm just, Brynn, main character in the gym, you know?
I'm like, I see glimmers in Brynn, you know, I thought it was, it was, you know, last
week she was funny at the party.
She wore sunglasses at the party too, which is kind of like, like, there's like minor,
I can't, you know, but yeah, there's like a try hard element with her
that is difficult to get by,
but at least she is trying hard, as opposed to others.
I feel like she's one of those people
who's like walking in a target
and then all of a sudden a lady turns around
with an iPhone camera and starts blasting some music
and then she starts doing a quarry grap dance
with some ladies in the middle of the target
and you're like, I'm just trying to check out.
You know what I'm saying?
So if she's a lady, not TikTok now.
Flashbacks.
Can I get to the trash bags?
Get the fuck out of the aisle.
Do you see these people doing this on the TikTok?
I have not seen the, I have not seen the flash, the target flash mobs that would drive us.
Yes, they're called main characters and they go to public places and they just start doing
dances right in the middle and then the managers kick them out and they're like, how dare you,
this is oppression.
I can't.
Luckily my TikTok has been like taken over by close-ups of multi-food, so I don't get to see any of these awful main characters in Target.
I just see chews.
Yeah, it's all, because that's all food talk is.
Let me tell you about this amazing thing I make when I get home from work. It's the simplest thing you could possibly imagine.
Take one can of Garbanzo beans, one bunch of chives, now find some cheddar
cheese, put it under a broiler, now put it in the food processor, add some lettuce, then
add some olive oil, put it in the deep fry, now you have a deep fried olive oil garbanzo
cheese thing, now put it in the toasts of oven, add a fish head, now put that in the oven,
roast that for 25 minutes, couldn't be simpler, put that in the blender, now put it in the
pressure cooker, add some more chives, add some more cupans of juice, and now you have an absolutely delicious meal.
Pringest starts dancing right in front of the TikTok ladies video.
So look, wait a minute, you can't bring a TikTok intro from into a TikTok video, you can't do a flash mob in the middle of my cheesy go bonzer dip that I put in five different machines.
You can't main character these cabanzos darling.
Yeah, that's what Futaka is.
It's just con artistry.
People saying something is simple,
somebody they lure you in
and then they go through like 12 million steps.
Angry, I'm angry at that now.
Now you activated me, Ronnie.
Okay, well here I'll give you something iconic
to make you feel better.
I can't!
Oh God!
I can't!
I can't whose job is still a mystery.
Still don't know who it is.
Commissions, here comes one right now.
So let's go over to Melody, Jenna's friend and an investor.
They're taking a selfie.
Possible Goddaughter.
Possible Goddaughter.
And Jenna is talking to one of the model ladies.
And she's like, hi.
Do you know what we're doing today?
I'm talking to you, but it's very difficult for me
because I'm a'm talking to you, but it's very difficult for me because I'm a
super awkward person. So
hope you're gonna be able to talk to me even though my feel awkward. I'm here for you. Or am I here for me? Is anyone here for me? I really don't know. I'm spinning out of control.
Okay, we um, so we want to put a lash on you and if you're feeling nervous, um,
I'll come over and laugh and it'll be fine. And if you're still feeling nervous,
I will give you an offer to be my goddaughter
and that usually smooth things over.
So just let me know what you want.
And the lady is like, oh my gosh, I love classical lashes.
I've been following you, so I kind of know.
And Jen is like, oh, I love that.
She's like, yeah.
Why do I always look in the window of a yogurt planet
that you never go inside?
I mean, every single day, do that on your way home from work.
It's hot.
You know what's funny? I went to yogurt land this weekend inside. I mean, every single day you do that on your way home from work. It's hot.
You know, it's funny. I went to yogurt land this weekend for the first seven several years.
I'm sorry. Was there no yogurt planet available? No, this is more regional. It's just the land.
But how was that? It was fine. They had ice cream there, which felt a little off brand. And they didn't have like, you know what, they did not have the range of
flavors that I was looking for. I really was, you know, I had like my chocolate,
and I was hoping to mix it with some like peanut butter or some cookies and cream.
And they had neither peanut butter nor cookies and cream as a flavor.
And I thought that was a fail.
That is a fail. Well, right.
I mean, I wouldn't order that I would support you being able to order them.
I'd be like, yeah, then need this.
Hey, hey, this is Carol Ratzowell.
And I'm here to advocate for returning peanut butter and cookies and cream to your land.
Join me on GoFundMe as we make this a reality.
We're gonna do a mixture of yogurt, it's called Oreo and peanut butter and we're gonna
call it Marathon.
Hi, I'm Carol Ratzowell and I've opened up something called yogurt baby. When you come in you can choose from seven different flavors and they're all called baby.
Okay, so
Jen, Jen is like, okay, well listen, if you're nervous, I'll come over there, I'll make you laugh. Everything's gonna be fine. You're in a safe space. Our lash installations, the trauma of the
like the trauma do-sure have people like like lost all of their self-confidence getting lashes stuck
on their face. Like if you can't getting lashes stuck to your face, you're not strong enough to have
fucking lashes. Okay. Like if this is gonna trigger you, get the fuck out of the lash storm,
fucking over it. Okay. Yeah, I felt like Jenna was trying to be,
I have like a new approach to the process of auditions
and modeling, and I appreciated that she was being thoughtful
of her model, not treating her model as a piece of meat,
but at the same time, I was like,
you're just putting a lash on the,
like the person came in for a lash,
for like a literal a literal
lashing and so they know I think they should be okay with having an eyelash
being put on there. I know they're acting like they're gonna do like major
breast augmentation surgery in front of everybody. They're like, are you okay? Do
you need anything? You're gonna stick some fucking lashes and by the way they
are just pieces of meat and that is how you should treat them.
They're basically hams that you're gluing eyelashes on to.
Okay.
I don't need to see triggered feelings
of people getting lashes glued onto them.
But that turns out to be a big switch of root
because then when the model's like,
oh yeah, it's fine, you could put the lash on,
then Matt Lauer comes out holding the lashes.
And it's like, oh, that is awkward.
Matt Lauer. Matt Lauer locks himself into a room with the lashes and it's like, oh, that is awkward. Matt Lauer.
Matt Lauer locks himself into a room with the lashes.
I'm like, Matt.
Matt, he's like, only I can unlock it
with a button under my desk.
That's so dark.
Okay, so there's another lady.
There's like a lady of more years,
guess I should say, with more years on her yogurt planet card.
And Jenna's talking to her now,
and she's like, so how did you hear about us?
And she says, you, because I follow you on TikTok,
actually I follow another lady who follows you
standing in front of a yogurt planet.
Which is really awkward, but also super entertaining.
I love this moment because Jenna's like,
oh my God, you're on TikTok and she goes,
yeah, I'm on TikTok. And I goes, yeah, I'm on TikTok.
And I basically, I used that to talk about my dating
and how ugly it was.
And Jenna's like, oh my God, you're not dating now
or are you dating now?
And I was like, yeah, so I actually just finally started
a relationship and she was like about to like share
like a story.
And so I just walked in and interrupts like,
hi, I'm here.
What do you guys want to talk about?
I was like, I think she walks right
in the middle of a serious story and does not even care. She's so rude. She's like, hi, I'm here. What do you guys want to talk about? I was like, she walks right in the middle of a serious
story and doesn't even care.
She's so rude.
She's like, hang.
So, Jenna's like, well, I invited Sion because, well,
I'm an older white woman.
And when it comes to casting, it's critical for people
to see someone that looks like them, seeing them.
Because they can see maybe better than old white
women because frankly, they can't really see.
So I'm not really sure what anybody, I'm not sure if there's even men here or they're
children here.
I don't really know.
By focus, don't like talking about it.
I'm awkward.
So Jenna's like, hi, this is my future goddaughter.
I don't know her name, but she's on TikTok, which is cool.
And then Jenna's like, of course, Jenna makes a comment about how she's not going to
feed people, because feeding people is like the thing this season.
And then we met, so then Jenna's like, oh, that's right, you're about to share a story
about your life.
That was seems sort of important.
And this woman goes, yes, oh, so this story,
this is sort of my dating.
So I met this guy and the crazy thing is,
we were walking in front of,
I was like, what is going on with the places
being bleeped out on Rony this season?
I don't know.
Are you not allowed to say locations in New York City?
I don't think that there have been a thing.
Is that like a new law?
What the hell?
It made sense when there were disparaging a restaurant for being like so 2012.
And it's like they could get in trouble to restaurant.
But if someone's talking about that, they just met someone on the sidewalk out
front of a place, we have to still bleep out that place.
Was it like, was it like the, the neo Nazi forum of 2022?
Like, what, like what, what, why can't we say these things?
I know, what is being said on these shows?
I know, like, what is bleepable?
I mean, I'm, like, that's the only thing I could imagine,
probably be like, that's not like mentioned
the neo-nazi forum of 2022 on our show, you know?
Yeah, I mean, I'm not really sure, but they all laughed.
It was very funny, whatever she said.
So then Jenna is now talking to this other nerdy lady,
and she's kind of watch, shouldn't say nerdy,
I should say awkwardly glassesed, like she has glasses,
and like, I don't know, I think this is a Craigslist casting,
right, because like, these people were more like people
when you go into a sales thing where they're like,
hey, you look on Craigslist and they're like, make $100,000 a week and you go in there,
it's all the dummies from the street like me.
They're like, and here's how you make money getting all of your family to buy air filters.
It's like those kinds of people.
So this next one is named Mary.
And so Jenna's like, so have you ever modeled, are you nervous?
I'm nervous, but hold your hand.
Do you want me to hold your hand?
I'm gonna hold it.
Do you have a nickname?
What's your nickname?
Did you have a nickname growing up?
And she's like, first of all, her name is Mary.
So I would just, Mary, can we just go with Mary?
Like what do we need to make difficult nicknames for Mary's?
And she's like, yeah, my brother,
he couldn't say my name.
And he called me Barney. And Jenna's like, yeah, my brother, he couldn't say my name. And he
called me Barney. And Jenna's like, wow, what's he doing now? So it's a job that doesn't
require a diction at all. I'm assuming.
It's his job carrying marbles around in his mouth from place to place.
I don't understand how it's easier to say Marney than it is to say Mary personally. I think
that brother was gaslighting her. I think you
could say Mary all that time. If you can say Marnie, if you can say Marnie, you can say
Mary. I'm going to tell you that right now. I know because Mary, like I don't want to
see lashes on Mary, but I want to see her brother get put in a meat grinder. Is that weird?
I mean, by the way, the most little brother thing you could do is like make your sister
mad by calling your Marnie instead of Mary. I mean, that seems like a great little brother thing you could do is like make your sister mad by calling your Marney instead of Mary. I mean, that seems like a great little brother play right
there, right? It also works with rate waiters who are being rude to you. Um, so then Mary
is like, well, that stuck with me. So Jenna says, well, listen, Jenna, Jenna's not my
real name. You know, let me tell you a really weird story, okay?
Are you with me?
We're gonna go on this story journey together.
It's gonna make you laugh so hard.
My name growing up was Judith.
And I never felt like a Judith because the only Judith I knew of was, you know, Judith
Mike from Who's the Boss?
And I already knew who the boss was.
It was me.
And my brother used to tease me.
And so the first day of college our teacher said, if you have a nickname, tell me now, so I had to pick something. And my brother used to call me
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, tell ya. Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, tell ya. So I just want with that. I guess I'm
trying to say is, um, if you're trying to impress me with your story about how your brother would call you, Marney, instead of Mary, try Genitalia. Okay, thanks for coming.
No, no, no.
And sorry, it's like, no,
now I'm gonna have to call you Genitalia from now on.
So then, so I was like, watching Gena bring out
this vulnerability in herself to calm someone else's nerves
was the sweetest and most admirable thing.
But at the same time, you were telling your secrets
to complete strangers, but you cannot tell them to your friends.
Everyone needs to know,
like this is a tenuous point at best sigh.
Also, this is like not really vulnerability.
I don't think telling a yarn about how you used to be
called Judith, but then you changed your name to Jenna
because your brother called you Jenna Telia.
I just don't really see that as like,
getting too many layers in,
especially when it's out of casting
and it's just to make someone feel better
about the fact that they were born Mary
but are now recognized as Marney.
You know, it's just not that deep.
Yeah, so I was doing that thing where she builds somebody up
to be one way so that she can then say like she fixed everything later
Like oh my god, she won't share her feelings and she's so awkward so that anything that Jenna now says in front of science
She's like I broke a and now best friends, you know
But I also makes it about awkward. She doesn't want to tell you about who she's dating because she doesn't fucking know you weirdo.
And everything you do is take what everybody says
and use it against them and then accuse them
of being, you know, the opposite of a feeder,
whatever that is, a starver.
I don't know.
I'm trying to remember I would have called my mother that
when I grew up if there was a term with holder,
food with holder, with holder, okay.
Yeah.
So then Jenna starts showing
Si around the photo shoot and starts, she's talking about how Jenna reminds us about her
genetic disorder and how she has no eyelashes and Si is, but then starts asking her like,
how she's doing with the breakup because she just broke up with her non-emily hampsure
from Shits Creek, uh, girlfriend. and Jenna starts getting choked up and she's
like, yeah, break up so difficult. It's hard. But I'm okay being alone. I'm distracting myself.
I exercise. I read. I eat a lot of ice cream. I do a lot of things I do when I'm in it when
I'm not in a relationship. So I'm just been collecting a lot of God daughters basically.
That's what I do. I'm single. You know, I read, I sit in my closet and I put on the dress I wore when I met
Michelle Obama and I just try to FaceTime random numbers and just hope that
Beyonce picks up on one of them. Ask her, Hi, you remember me? We met. I was
wearing the same breasts. Do you remember? Do you remember? Do you remember? Hey,
Beyonce, if you were ever going to actually walk into a yogurt planet, which one would
it be?
Well, flavor would you get?
Are you okay being my goddaughter?
May I put this lash on you, Beyonce?
So Jenna's saying how, you know, Jenna's getting choked up and so I was like, oh, don't
make me cry. You know, I don't like that.
And Jenna's like, no, I don't wanna cry, I don't wanna cry.
And she's like, instead of crying,
let's talk about something really awful.
Let's talk about Aaron's birthday party.
Wow, like, so Si, you left the party early.
You know, I think Aaron's gonna be pissed at you
because she just get pissed at honestly,
any minor infraction that happens towards her. And Si's like, what do Aaron's gonna be pissed at you because she just the epistet honestly any minor infraction that happened towards her
And so I was like, what do you mean the Irish goodbye?
Which we know from this show because that is a very famous goodbye on that on this show
I never knew the Irish goodbye until this show totally ran used it
um and
Jim's like yeah, well, I think that Aaron is mad that you left here
So because that was her party.
And she's like, I don't give a fuck.
And Jenna laughs.
And Jenna says, I wish I had that.
You know, and so I was like, whatever, I'm fucking hungry.
You got to feed people if they're going to leave.
And Jenna's like, well, she was mad to you left.
She said it.
She goes, well, I deal with it.
So then we go over to the scene where Abe comes out as a huge snitch,
Aaron and Abe at home.
So she's like, I need something,
a glass of wine or something.
And he's like, yeah, I'm so tired, you're so tired.
Because it was like such a good party, Abe.
Like everyone's been blowing up my phone
and saying that the food was so good.
Yeah, like I've gotten like so many messages
about how great the food was,
specifically the food Abe.
Okay.
Yeah, she's really trying to emphasize that.
And it was such a fun party.
Blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, I have reservations about my girlfriends
because I just feel like the way that they behaved.
I don't know. It rubbed me all the wrong way and it was like, okay, how
did they behave? She's like, Kelly told me they were talking during our
vows. Oh Jesus, get ready your mom to then. Okay, and Kelly, because she was talking,
she was trying to start a confrontation during your wedding. Yeah, Kelly, make more of an effort for your vows and don't make people sit through an hour
of your parade of basics, making basic speeches about squash team in the polo cup and golfing
tours, okay?
Also the women were not talking during the vows.
They were talking during the speeches from the guy from like University of Wisconsin,
talking about the time that they jerked off in a canoe after they got drunk at some
fraternity. So like I think it's like that's chill out a little bit here.
Let's chillax, ma'am. So then Abe is like, oh my god, that talking was them. It was a whole
fucking crowd. Don't get married in Grand Central Station and then get mad that you hear
the dings of incoming subways. You digs.
Yeah.
Seren's like, first of all, side didn't even say buy.
That's so beyond rude.
And it was like the fact that they're talking during the vows, it's disrespectful.
Honestly, these two people have such an elevated sense of importance with this, long as a
Nilling Party.
Si showed up from Brooklyn.
That's good enough.
She just, she got out of there.
She had to get out there because you went up, by the way,
she didn't say goodbye because you went up
to a different space to change your look.
So I don't think that if someone has to leave,
I don't think they're obligated to stay around
for 35 minutes while you change your dress.
No, you know what you need to start learning to say?
Thank you.
Thank you for coming to my fucking party
and sitting there through two hours
of my basic white people speeches.
Okay.
You should have said.
And but this my my note for this was,
oh, he's a bitch.
Yes, husband.
I hate those kinds of husband.
Like every I hate them,
everything there.
As whole wife says they have to be the one
to like march around and making it right. By the way, my dad is one. says they have to be the one to march around
and making it right.
By the way, my dad is one.
Sorry, just I didn't mean to call my dad a bitch on this show,
but he is one of those.
My whole dad's job is like walking around
apologizing for my brother and restaurants, you know?
It's just how it is.
And they are the worst to be around,
but I also want one.
Is that weird?
Like, not that I said all of that.
If anybody is this kind of a husband
and you need someone bitchy to get married to,
please DM me.
Because I will say I did it to the manager all day long.
Yeah, you see the thing is you don't want to be
that sort of person, but you want that sort of person.
And this is different.
So Aaron, she's like, frankly, they should have known better.
Then they should just shut their mouths.
Like if someone comes up to you and says,
you're being rude and loud, just be like, OMG, I'm so sorry.
It's like party etiquette.
This woman had a vow, renewal,
because she misses the power she had over her entire family
and friend group when she was a bride.
You know these people who are like there, they get so power hungry during their wedding
and bossing everybody around and making, being able to get offended over every little thing.
Like, oh, really?
You think you're going to come to my party in Vegas, but you're not going to come to my
shower in Oklahoma.
Who are we even friends?
And meanwhile, they're making you buy ugly dresses, you know,
spending thousands of dollars to travel all over the place. And then there's something that
happens when that's over and everyone's like, fuck that lady. Making you spend all this money.
I can't wait till it's my turn to have this kind of power. And then just like sitting in your life
without that kind of power, I think it starts slowing, slowly making people crazy.
They need that power back. And so 10 years later, she's like, we're doing it again.
This is why 27 dresses was a failure of a movie because that movie should have been about
Catherine Hagle, Hyggell going to all these different, being a bridesmaid for 27 of her
friends, which is outrageous that she even put up with all that.
She does that and then she decides
that she's gonna exact huge bridesmaid revenge
and all 27 of those friends
and make them jump through so many hoops
and go through so many parties
and travel all around the world
and then at the end, the big twists
is she's not getting married to anyone
and she's gonna laugh in their faces.
But instead of just Catherine Higle
just getting stuck on the weddings all the time
and then she meets like a guy, stupid.
Oh, I love the plot you came up with.
That's a really good one.
My plot was great.
Just like someone who just is so sick
of their power hungry wedding friends.
And just exact a huge amount of revenge
and in the end, it's all for nothing.
You know, I love it, great movie.
I love it too.
Well, I hope somebody doesn't steal that
because you know, people will.
And then they'll go, you know.
You all hear it right.
Of course you know, okay.
Those are on strike.
Yeah, I'm about to say, I can tell that all the time.
I hear this later and then I write it.
Yeah, but let me tell you something.
If I see anyone, I'm pointing my finger,
if I see anyone make this movie, you're in trouble, okay?
You're in big trouble, because that's gonna be my movie,
or be our movie, Ryan and I are gonna write it together.
Commissions, here comes one right now.
Okay, so then what's my next no?
Okay, so, and you know how the vows were delayed.
I mean, Jessal was like, it's so cute when you renewed your vows.
And I was like, yeah, well, we didn't do vows before.
And then Brynn was like, well, technically, you could get out of your marriage.
Don't, don't, don't.
I'm not just saying, oh my god, this guy is such a snitch bitch.
I instantly hate him.
And then, of course, this leads to Aaron doing a classic Aaron.
You can get out of the marriage.
It's her favorite thing.
It's just repeating something back.
You can get out of the marriage.
Did you laugh?
And he's like, yeah, I laughed.
Well, then why did you repeat? It was just laugh. He goes, yeah, I laughed. Well, then why did you repeat it was just
laughed? Because he goes, yeah, I laughed, but I thought it was weird given the
situation. It was just it was just weird. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm
trying to give you some content for your TV show that you're on right now.
You're going to take it. You're going to get mad at her because otherwise what's
the point of all this? I know your hobby is to get furious with people and for me
to back you up and tell you your right to be furious about petty little things.
So I'm just giving you something to do the day after our wedding.
Better than fucking.
So he's like, yeah, I just thought it was weird, right?
Given the setting, I mean, that's weird telling someone they can get out of their vows.
So you think right before you renew your vows, someone tells you you have a get out of jail
free card and that that's the wrong time to make the joke.
It's literally the perfect time to make the joke.
Okay.
Absolutely.
You have to set up a leader.
Absolutely.
Fucking whoos.
Yeah.
It's like a literal obvious joke.
So Aaron's like, first of all, fuck off.
Our kids are right there.
What if they had heard?
I'm just saying that's unacceptable to me.
I'm sorry. It's really there. What if they had heard? I'm just saying that's unacceptable to me. I'm sorry, it's really not.
What, a kid, a kid who shouldn't even be at Austin,
shouldn't be at this party in the first place,
but a kid's gonna be there.
I honestly don't, you know,
you should not have your small children running around
your party that's being filmed for the real housewives
where it's like very likely that any sort of drama
is gonna go off and you could probably traumatize
your young child.
I mean, look at all the generation of children
on real houses in New Jersey.
Look what's happening to all of them.
They're growing up and they're all gonna have,
they're all gonna be fucked up, okay?
So you wanna do that to your children.
And then you're mad.
Your mad that your kids were on a TV,
a reality TV shoot for Bravo
and they might have overheard something
that might have confused them know, confused them.
And something that's also very easily rectifiable with those children, this was Aaron really
grasping for straws to be mad.
Yeah.
Seems like yeah, our kids were right there.
Like what if they had heard that, Abe?
You know what?
I'm just saying that's accepted, that's unacceptable to me.
I'm sorry, it's just not.
And then we hear the peacock that was lost in my neighborhood
for all those weeks.
This is the sound it made.
Ha!
So that's the sound.
And Aaron's like, is that a child?
And he goes, that is a child.
She goes, oh my god, I guess I'll go get him.
He goes, just ignore him.
She goes, I'm not going to ignore him on camera, Abe.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
After I was just talking about how important it is
to protect our children from, you know, passing jokes at a party.
So Aaron goes and gets the child.
And then Aaron's like, you know, it really pisses me off.
She came in, she started to shit she said rude things to my husband,
she wore her sunglasses the whole time, and then she walked out.
Sometimes she just doesn't have tact, and it really pisses me off.
Well, I'm sorry, not everyone can learn they're attacked
from sitting in the corner with a coloring book next to Gwyneth Paltrow
and Brad Pitt in the mid 90s.
And she's like, I don't know why you're laughing, Abe.
I'm disgusted.
And she's holding her son who has a full puffer jacket on the way.
Why does every man in her life have to be wearing a coat at all times?
Because remember last time when they were in the restaurant Abe wouldn't let the lady
take his coat either. And also, we didn't notice because it shows
so fucking odd, but did you notice in that restaurant that the guy behind them, as they shot
their scene, was on a date with the stuffed penguin? No, I did not notice. I did not notice
that we see it on purpose. Totally normal to us. Um, so I think the running thing with Aaron is that she keeps the, she likes cold places.
She, you know, you know, Aaron's room has a cold energy, but she literally had no heat
on in the Hamptons.
I know everyone around her always has to be in a jacket because they're so cold.
Yeah.
Um, let's see.
So then she's like, I don't know why you're laughing.
I'm disgusted.
I can't believe I have to be in the same room with her.
I'm just disgusted with her after everything she said.
I just can't.
And I'm like, oh, well, so that's okay to talk about
in front of your kids.
Like it's okay to continue this conversation
about how someone tried to bang your husband in front.
I'm sure you're ridiculous.
Get a hobby.
Yeah, I agree.
So now, luckily, we now move on to a more loving couple,
which is Povid and Jessel walking down the street.
And Povid's like, this is a really cool area.
And she goes, this area, this is what an idiot.
Taking one step out of the house, he thinks it's cool.
That's what you get when you start walking around the city streets with the president,
the fried chicken club of America.
He's like, it feels so good to be out of that house.
Well, it's been such a crazy week.
I'm going to do an espresso martini because it goes with my dress.
Now, it's so stressful waking up at 6 in the morning.
I thought my mom would be more help.
Could you imagine, all she really does is walk around and oat meal, cut it clothes, doing
absolutely nothing.
I say, Mother, you might as well be in a diner being served in little bowls for the
pause.
Do you have a little something more to help out around the house?
I mean, what a loser. am I right, Parvix?
I heard that Tom Cruise's mother is very, very helpful around the house, and this is something
I can't wait to find out in person when we wrap shoulders with him at the Montessori
School!
So then we see a clip of her telling her mom, mom when you see fingerprints on a table,
could you please wipe them off?
And our mom being like, every time we see something we clean it just so...
I raised this.
I raised this.
It's like when you plant a potato.
You know in school when they were like, put a potato in a jar with water and then you
watch the vines come out of it.
And then over the weeks,
it just becomes the most hideous looking thing
you've ever seen.
And you're like, I created that.
And I feel no pride,
but I also don't wanna throw it away,
just in case I might need it for something later.
I actually never did the potato experiment,
but I did once make a
terrarium. And that was gross too. It was like, hey, who wants to make a home for
mold? So it was literally like, it was like a mold zoo. You just watch it
every day, like, look at that. There's mold growing. So, um,
pavits, like, well, think about when your mom does actually leave. I'm just
just, oh, I know, it's just the thing is I'm going to, it's, like, well, think about when your mom does actually leave. I'm just, oh, I know.
It's just the thing is I'm going to, it's, I'm going to get really,
really, really busy because I've been out of the game for so long.
And to be honest, I'm missing out on a lot of things and I don't know,
life's about to get so busy.
I'm going to be hanging out with strange ladies with pink dots on their cheeks.
So much more now.
I don't know how I'm going to have time for the children.
And I love how she lists all of her things that she's so busy. She's like, I've always worn so many hats. And now I feel like we've got a hundred hats. I have to pick the twins
clothes. I have to pick out parvets clothes. I have to see if the kids are up another
diaper size. I have to have some phone calls go on Zoom calls, make sure I look amazing for the Zoom calls.
It's just non-stop. It's like, you just listed literally the most basic parts of living
there. And then the occasion I have to unzip my trousers to use the
glue. I have to refill the Oreo canister because I told Poverty to do it once.
He put in high drugs. Can you believe it?
High drugs?
If it's warm inside, I need to find a little box on the wall where you press a couple of
numbers in to change the numbers at the temperature in the room.
It's just so much going on in my life.
And did you know that at a certain parts of the day day the sun actually goes down and you have to turn on
Lights you have to actually go up to a switch and physically take the switch and move it to a different position so you can get light
That's just one of the many hats. I wear
and
She's like I need to get the kids more clothes and we get a
As Povit looks at her terrified like more and she like, I'm trying to not get them too much stuff. But Povat,
they eat like you. They shit like you. It's insane. One of them came out
the other day with a little gold star. And I said, what's that for? He said,
I'd like to give it to fried chicken. I mean, what are you turning these
children into? Tom Cruise, you can't intervene too soon enough, Tom. They're just like you,
Povit. They already have such low standards for their future. I mean, we really have to
turn this ship around. And Povit's like, well, also the other thing is you have to buy
two of everything, you know, because there are twins. And she goes, oh, I can't wait
to buy girl clothes. And she goes, oh, well, that's not happening.
Well, either I have a child, a girl child, or I just start treating my other boy like a
girl too.
And it'd be very progressive, you know?
And she's basically like, do you know that ever since I was a kid, my lucky number has
always been three. I love the context of her lucky number has always been three.
I love the context of her lucky number.
Like did you know ever since she was little,
that's like it never changed all her life.
It's always been three as if three were like
an exotic number that people rarely think about.
I know, like three is not just a very common number
that people choose.
So, Pob, it's like, well, ever since I've been a kid,
two has been a great number.
So, wow, it's not interesting.
Even as a kid, my dreams were bigger than yours.
That is absolutely nuts.
meant to be together.
Even your lucky number is inferior to mine, really.
Value-wise, at least.
So then it cuts to Jessel with this crazy outfit in her interview where it's like these
two sleeves and like one is like a big black circle and one is like a big sort of like
gold circle.
And one arm looks like a gold fortune cookie and the other looks like a black bandot like
a tit hanging out and they're going to like band it on cable. It was very strange and so Jassel's like I am dead serious. It took me so many years,
hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars to get those frozen embryos and then I had to
convince Puffet that those embryos were not fried chicken. It's got a little pause off them
and then I think that you know I think the Cassadas is a little princess and we're definitely going
to go for it
with her. He likes it or not. She's like, my dad keeps asking me
when are you going to have a baby girl? And he's like, your
parents don't even know that we did IVF. How can you be so how can
he be so confident we're going to have a girl? She's like, well,
I had to have to have to have a talk with my mother about it. I
feel very, very guilty about it.
And, uh, Povits, I told you you have to tell her,
it has to be brought up now to the fact that
you want another child and also you're on TV.
You told America before you told your mother,
that's same on you.
Yeah.
So, Jessica talks about how it was really,
the IVF process was really traumatizing for her
and she just didn't want to talk about it. And and Povitz, but you should still tell your mom.
And he's like, you know, he says he thinks it's important for her to tell her mom because
yeah, like you said, she don't want her to find out through someone else, aka TV.
And Povitz, I mean, we had a birthday party in London and the entire time, the entire
London family, things, these are natural humans.
They don't realize that these are actual cyborgs
from another planet.
Puffet, do you know how IVF works?
I'm not sure you do.
They are natural povett.
He's like, no, but like they think that they have like actual
blood and bone running through the human DNA.
Puff it. They do profit the actual human children. No, but like they actually think they have
brains in our computer chips.
Puff it.
Puff it. The real humans.
Go back to the hot dog stand,
Puff it. Give that door. go back to the hot dog stand to Povit give that don't let some advice
nobody asked you for all right.
So then we go to Brynn walking down the street
and she go walks into a fancy car
like a vintage fancy car store.
And this is where Doreet has been on Beverly Hills and it's also where Sutton has been on Beverly Hills when yes
She bought a new car remember with ourselves
That's right. I like to show off these vintage places and there's always an old man who looks like he's played by Peter O'Toole
And he's always got a big scarf
every time
yeah with the voice of F. Murray Abraham and
Every time.
Yeah, with the voice of F. Murray Abraham. And so there's like, there's like a British guy there
and Brynn walks in and the British guy's like,
oh goodness gracious me.
And Brynn goes,
sorry, he knows nothing about cars, I'm the collector.
Ah!
And then the guy's like, oh she's in trouble.
I'm like, I don't know what's happening here
but I'm already not liking it.
And then
Gideon, didn't we meet Gideon? The ex-fion say. And he's very like Hugh Grant, but with alcohol
is a nice. And he's like, Oh, hello. Are you here to make trouble? It's me, Dasha and Gideon.
And she's like,
And she's like, Oh, they marry me drama.
I'm kidding, and I were together for five years.
And when he proposed, we were actually broken up for a couple of months, and I was seeing
someone else.
And then outside of Ritz Carlton, they started playing like, if I could walk 500 miles.
And then I was like, oh my god, that was my son with a goodie.
And then I turned around, and Gideon was walking around the corner with my dog in a ring.
Nothing worse than having gone my boyfriend and telling him I'm breaking up for my new fiance.
I'm like, you both are terrible.
You're both terrible people.
Okay, like you are dating someone else and he decides to essentially love bomb you with this
someone else and he decided to essentially love Bommu with this hollow, hollow over the top, goddy, you know, gesture that's like trying to be out of love actually or something
like that. Like blasting a quote unquote beautiful rendition of if I could walk 500 miles.
I mean, I'm trying to even imagine it's like like, and bring it up. And how did you get a beautiful version of 500 miles
to play outside the Ritz Carlton?
Do they have some sort of play?
I had a slam on a table.
La la la la la.
La la la la.
Oh, and I wake up.
La la la la la.
I don't know.
The whole thing seemed real fishy to me.
I was like, you both are garbage right now for doing that.
I'm getting high class hooker from Brent.
And I know that she's not because I read her LinkedIn,
which doesn't mean that high class workers can't have a LinkedIn,
but we're a lot of LinkedIn.
Okay, two things.
I looked at her LinkedIn and she's marketing,
you know, general marketing.
No, I don't know what that means.
She's a marketing consultant.
And then they showed her,
they were like, get to know Brin from Real Housewives of New York
and they showed her apartment in a magazine spread.
And it's real tiny, but it's exquisitely done.
Like, she's got a lot of taste.
She did a really cute job on this apartment.
But just everything on the show, she's giving a lot of taste. She did a really cute job on this apartment. But just everything on the show,
she's giving me a high-class hooker.
Now you know, I don't care about the class of a hooker.
I love a hooker.
No plenty of hookers in my life would have been one really
if, let's be honest, I worked out.
I would have preferred that over-weighting table.
So I'm not shaming high-class or low-class hookers.
But I definitely recognize the signs
from other good friends of mine,
like older man, lonely man, playboy,
has you meet him in places like classic Rolls Roy stores,
pays off bands to play songs,
you know, but never really seals the deal somehow.
And it makes me sad.
I know this is supposed to be like a Julia Roberts happy.
Like, oh my God, look at Julia Roberts.
Well, I guess that is a hooker story.
Pretty cool man.
Yeah.
But you know what I mean?
It's like supposed to be some romcom romcom.
Oh my God, I hope we're in ends up with this guy.
But there's such a sadness in his eyes.
There's probably mostly caused by her.
Let's face it because he can't have her. And then there's just such a sadness in his eyes that's probably mostly caused by her. Let's face it because he can't have her.
And then there's just such a sadness in her eyes that, I don't know, and then there's
just a sadness about the cars because like everybody who's owned those cars is dead now.
Yeah.
No, I'm depressed.
That's how I'm feeling.
Thanks for asking.
I feel like there was a day.
I feel like that.
Yeah, I can see that because getting a super cute super cute. Gideon is super super cute, but you can also see that he is clearly still in love with
Brynn and he wants Brynn back, but you also kind of be like, you know, Gideon, you're really
cute, you seem like you're rich.
And this girl doesn't like you like that, but she only wants you for the perks of your,
it seems like you have your lifestyle.
So move on Gideon, you don't have to do this to yourself.
It's hard to be rich.
It's hard to be rich and gorgeous in this world.
No one understands the weight of the privilege.
So Peter O'Toole is like,
what would my scarf?
So take a look at that car.
This is a 1965 Bentley. Patti, would you give me some encouragement
during this number? 1965 Bentley. Flying spur continental. Take a look. But this car, you don't even have to walk 500 miles.
You could just drive it.
Not easier.
Yeah, so getting into it and he's honest.
Oh, this has the Bentley crest, the bee crest, which you love, Bremen.
He's like, you know, I'm with that.
I wanted to be on my car.
And because my name is Bran. Oh.
He's like, I need to get this troll apart of my store.
So then, a Bran is basically talking like Gideon
and she's like, you know, he is basically like a Prince charming
and like I didn't open a door for five years.
I didn't pick up one tab.
I can't even stand up at a dinner table without him jumping up.
He's like a Disney
prince, have my friends, and some of my family chose him. But then producers like, so do you think
he's playing a long game? I hope not. So they're sitting in the car and Gideon's trying to have
a real mad scene. He's like, fancy meeting you here. And
say, um, and that wasn't that, wasn't that the first time you, the first line you used
on Tinder. Tinder was in beta and someone sent a dick pic. So I'm like going through
to leading all these dick pics. And there you were. And you were like, top of the morning
tea, a madame. I'd love to take you at the tea. I'm rich. And I was like, OK.
So then we went on had a day.
And I looked at pictures of all my news.
And I was like, oops, are you looking at that on my phone?
What?
So getting into his story is, my recollection
is, you were the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
I was like, OK, so she went out with you because you were rich.
You went out with her because she was hot.
I can't believe this relationship didn't have legs.
Yeah, seriously. And Brent tells us that after she got the ring, she was walking on 57th Street, and she saw her reflection in the window of what I have to match
it was like hard rock or planet Hollywood because that's really what's on 57th Street.
And she's like, and it was massive. Like it was like four to five carrots,
and then I realized I was gonna be someone's wife
and I might be their wife until the year 2021 on Mars
because I was staying in front of Mars 2021, the restaurant.
And I remember panicking and I like,
I see myself as like little brand with a little afro
and I don't see myself as someone's wife
and like I wasn't ready.
So basically she is like run away bride,
commit minishes, blah, blah, blah.
And so then she said that she tells Gideon
that she went to her psychic.
And the psychic told her that like she's,
everything's good under the hood.
All systems are working under there
and that she's gonna have a kid at 40
and it's gonna be a boy.
And you know Gideon's like, great.
So can we get married and I can be the father?
Like why are you telling me this right now?
And she's like, you know what?
I might talk about egg freezing,
but like the cost of inflation,
the price of eggs has really gone up.
He's like, ooh, pint of milk as well, eh?
And she's like, yeah, I'm gonna queen
creative family for myself.
It's the only thing I want.
I was like, don't lie,
because then we see a picture
of when she did get the engagement ring,
and she's not just showing it off on Instagram.
I'm like, oh my God, look, I got a ring.
She's posing it right next to the logo of the Porsche
that she's in the car of, you know.
It's like a
Porsche and a wedding ring. She's just like, look, found a rich one. I just think I'm just
have to say you might have to kind of change your priorities, you know, if you're going to
find a good one. Although, listen, I've dated plenty of poor people and they're awful and not
right for me either. So if you're going to find an awful one that's not right for you, you might as well find one with giant diamonds in a
Porsche. There's another thing I'm going to rescind today. I take it back. I apologize, Brian. Yeah, I mean, she's basically just there to get him to pay for her, you know, egg freezing. That's I think what the point
the scene was. And of course, he's going to do it because he's like in love with her. So then she's going to try and get him to be like make them embryos because could you imagine?
I mean, Gideon so lonely and then have a few embryos cooked in a different oven and boom,
you've got it for life, you've got your money deliveries, they'll just be the hell of
writ, you know, fucking Bentley helicopters flying overhead and just dropping bags of money.
My God, I wish I could I get pregnant
at the impregnated yet?
I can, right?
Men can carry now, right?
Well, after I saw the community in your room,
I'm junior with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I'm pretty sure that was documentary,
so I think the answer is yes.
Yeah, Arnold Schwarzenegger can get impregnated,
so can I.
And also, I think, oh Jesus Christ.
And that's my thing.
Your time with Ronnie's camera just fell over.
Listen.
God, I'm in hands today.
What if I was just like not in hands
and that just happened?
That was right in my weiner.
You know what?
Here's what I've got to say.
The real miracle of the movie, Jr.
is not that it dared to see a world
where an a man gets pregnant.
Is that someone was able
to bring together Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, and Emma Thompson.
And I think that that shows that miracles can happen.
That Emma Thompson was like, you know, just in the middle of writing another Jane Austen
movie, but you know what, let me put a pin in that and start on a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger
where he gets pregnant, and then then Danny Davido is there too.
I'm having a really weird luck with this setup today.
I think Emma Thompson went through a thing with Kenneth Branagh de Forest where she was
like starting to worry and then she's like, I'll do this film.
I will do junior.
I never know if Kenneth Branagh will have me blacklisted from Shakespeare.
Just in case. You might not know this, but I ate a tattaro, it was in junior. So it really
is a great cast. I feel like it was not too long ago. We were wondering what she was up to.
It's not that this makes her up to anything.
It just shows that she had been up to things.
Yeah, I added to her.
Well, that's good.
I feel like Aeditor Turo gets work every once in a while, you know?
Yeah, I feel like she does very serious plays
in regional theater, you know?
It's like, there's always like, in some town
in a random part of Massachusetts, there's like a poster up
with Aeditor T tutorial looking very serious and it's like Ibsin's the dollhouse.
A hundred percent.
The like death of a salesman.
Aida tutorial.
A long day's journey and tonight.
Aida tutorial.
Aida tutorial.
At the Poconos playoffs.
Oh hi everyone, we still have a whole hour left of this recap that we recorded, so we're
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