Watch What Crappens - RHONY: House Shun-ters

Episode Date: August 9, 2018

Ben is still out of town, so Ronnie takes another solo swing at the Real Housewives of New York. I mean, Ronnie's AGELESS AMMIRITE? Enjoy! This week's bonus episode is about our trip to the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Garsh! tees only on sale through August at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to West Palm Beach, Atlanta and Denver! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, when people return, they can't just one happens, but there's so much that happens. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Chivoni, she don't take no baloney. Prisbee, wow, where'd he dowry?

Tally Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the Berg. Jess Ayan, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Susie going to the Tobin. Megan the Slayer Taylor. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Anna got, I love that banana Anderson.

Hava Nagila Weber. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Pele Grant, Big Grant Master, The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters, and Lizzie Drucker, a fun motherfucker. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to the Watcher Crapins Podcast! The podcast about all that crap We just love to talk about on yo bros. It's me

O'Rani again here. I am still waiting for my little Benjamuneus to come back from vacation It's a Wednesday night light for real has was New York City and I was supposed to be recording with somebody We got some time to messed up. I freaked out. I just recorded it alone because at this point I'm like guess what I don't care I'm gonna do it alone it's gonna be back next week and until then I'm ageless okay very inspiring to myself so I did this recap alone I'm not gonna waste your time with a big huge intro because this shit is long okay this is an hour long of me babbling to myself like a fucking crazy person. So just thank you for dealing you know if you guys are not into this solo thing totally get it

Ben will be back next week. He'll be back Monday so you know you only have to put up with a little more and for those of you who are into it, God bless your hearts. You know what? I'm praying for you. What else do I have to say? Oh, our live shows, we're coming to West Palm Beach this month, here in the end of August. We're coming to West Palm Beach. We're going to do a real housewives of New York reunion episode there. And then right after that, we're going to Atlanta for two days. We're not sure what we're doing there yet, but we will announce what we're doing at those shows next week. Three really fun shows this month. Get over there. Then in September we're in Denver. We just put up our Corset shirts from Southern Charm. You can get that at crappensamrich.com or at watchwhat crappens.com along with show ticket links and

a calendar for all our upcoming shows. What else is over there? I think that's all I have to say you guys, right? Well, sorry for forgot anything. Thank you for being here. Love you guys. Enjoy this recap. Oh, yeah, and our bonus episode this week is the second of a two-parter talking about going to the Montreal comedy festival.

So to get that, find our Patreon link over at watchortcrapants.com too. That is enough shilling, I hate shilling, you know I hate shilling. Let's start making fun of some kuku people. Welcome to the real housewives of New York. I've gone house, I've gone house, okay, my house. I did it myself, okay, house, my house, inspiration, okay, okay, let's face it. We open up in the Hamptons and Ramona is bringing Durinda to check out her totally new, completely

different house. Now I'm not really sure how different this house is. I mean, they show some before and after pictures. I mean, I don't know what the house, you know, it looks like it's from the 80s still, but I guess it's like a newer 80s. So I'm not really sure what's going on. But you know what? I remember the 80s. I remember them being pretty shitty, but everybody else now is telling me how great they are. And I feel like that's what the show's doing. It's like, remember the 80s is great. Look, it's even better now. Like, that's what you can try and bring back the 80s all you want.

It still sucks in my head. So in other words, Ramona's house is can try and bring back the 80s all you want it still sucks in my head So in other words Ramona's house is like Exhausting and time consuming like it was But now it's exhausting and time consuming in a new way and I'm supposed to care but I don't but whatever I support other women Okay So Durinda is walking up with her and Durinda's in that kind of apology mode where she knows that she's just like fucked up a lot like on their last Vacation or whatever so she is just being super overly like Because you know Dorenda does that so that later she can be like I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I big reveal. It looks like a totally different place. Totally. Mona, is this the door that you put in your front yard to separate the inside

of the house from the outside of the house? You're pretty. You're like big-hoes in the door labs. Like she's like too much, you know. But Romana will take whatever she can get because like who wants to come to Romano's house So she's like, oh my god, can you believe it? It's my home. I did this all of them self look at these rugs, okay? Like these rugs from Jill Zerent's place they look like the $30 but they're $1,000 and I believe in paying more for things that look, you know cheap because I support other women, okay? And I believe that rugs should support other rugs. That's why this rug looks kind of the same support other women, okay? And I believe that rug should support other rugs.

That's why this rug looks kind of the same as that rug, okay? Look, even my dog can pee on here. Ha ha ha ha ha! Then we get a clip of Ramona's dog pissing all over or pooping, rather. All over Dorinda's rug in the Hamptons last year. Or not the Hamptons, the Berkshars. And Dorinda having to clean it up because Ramona's just, you know, what we've learned in the past couple it up. Because Ramona is just, you know, what we've learned

in the past couple of weeks is that Ramona is actually as delusional and in denial about her dog pooping in places as she is about herself pooping in places. Because she never copped to shitting on the ground last week in Mexico. So you see, a dog's owner will act like the dog and a dog will act like the dog's owner. And look, I get it.

Like, I'm exactly the same as my dog. Bueller wants his tummy rubbed. I want my tummy rubbed. Bueller is desperate for love so he jumps on the first person that walks in the door. I'm desperate for love so I jump on the first person that walks on the door. Bueller wants someone to congratulate him every time he peeps. I want someone to congratulate me every time I peep. I want someone to congratulate me every time I peep. I get it.

You know, I'm not judging it. I'm just saying, like, at least teacher dog to shit off a rug. Idiot. This- this world. Ugh. What's your talk about poopin' under the rug, okay? How about we put it this way? You can spill wine out over that rug.

Now, Dorenda doesn't really understand that she's making an alcoholic joke because to her like red lines for breakfast, like that's not really hard, you know? Like when people quit drinking and they say things like, what, quit drinking cocktails that you know not wine, because that's fruit. Dorenda's like totally that kind of girl, so they go giggling through the house together. And Romana tells us, this is my first renovation, this home of 23 years. It's very uplifting, okay? It's very uplifting for me to remodel. Yeah Ramona, you're a real motherfucking Teresa over there putting a new sink in your own kitchen. It will

start it with the kitchen, okay? And Durinda walks in and she gaffs. Gah, I can't talk. Durinda walks in and she gasps. You guys, listen to how gay I am. Durinda walks in and she gasps. I did it, but that was a really long way to say gasps, sorry. Gasps. Gasps. Gasps. Gasps. God. 20 speeds therapy. Do they have somebody that can de-game my gasping? It's ridiculous, okay? I need a simple and S that supports other simple and S's. So they're on the kitchen, Roman is like, oh my god, I even did the kitchen. This is where it all began back in 1776.

And Dorenda does that gasp where she's like, oh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH You ripped out the cabbages, you ripped out the cabbages, what kind of woman is here? I have to say, this is the best feeling in the world, other than giving birth to my daughter. My god, look, it's my boy, cooler, my boy, freeze up with whatever you call it, I don't know how to say words. Duranda says, you're never easy. Yeah, you live in the living, yeah, you're gonna leave me, you're gonna leave me. I'm so proud. Did it all by myself, girl?

You had someone named Mario coming in there and working on your bathrooms. We already saw him. Not to mention all the lunch you took out from Bank of America. Do not front, ma'am. Okay. There's no shame in being like, I'd like to thank God my agent Mario the Gardner the cabinet person Ikea floor And this not F L O R that's F L O R with two dots over the O

Still get those catalogs. I don't know why and Sonia and Luana arrive and you know because you just can smell the public transportation pulling up outside It's like public transportation pulling up outside. It's like, ee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e And so she's wearing spike heels on a new floor, which is just like a cup fitness move. I mean, that's just wrong. Like, even I know that's wrong. And I'm wearing like pink socks with french fries on them right now. Like, I have zero class. So she walks in and she does that thing where she grabs the back of her neck and she's like,

ooh, it's like I was just rear-ended. You know, like every time she's upset, she's like, oh, you try and make a sudden stop and then boom! It's always there for their fault if they hit you oh well she still got cardboard down on the floor embarrassing neck massage neck massage they're missing a trim piece there they're missing a trim piece hey guess what you're missing Luan house okay fecker being sued by your own. Do we have to take off our new shoes? Like it's a new car?

Sony, you don't take off your shoes in a new car, you f***ing idiot. Later in this episode, we find out that Sony just shits and diapers on the bus. So you know she doesn't take off her shoes in a new car. And then the Wankets really competitive with Ramona and she's like, Oh! Look, you have keys to you have keys to oh they poop everywhere don't they? by the way the back end of this season is totally sponsored by poop okay I don't know how poop is making money but that is all we're talking about it's all

we're seeing it's all that's in my head while I watch this show like I literally want to do the rest of this show while I'm pooping. So Dorenda comes out and says, oh my god, we're gonna, oh my god, you got a new way in front of me in your house. Look at that. She's like, no way, but it's standing there, streaming out both here. No, actually, that's the wind. That's the real wind. Why do we? So Dorenda, Dorenda, Dorenda, do that thing that they do where they look at each other like super close to each other's face, like their faces are right into each other, like they're they're boxing or making out or, I don't know, doing like a brop-fly-shrine-each-other, whatever. And then they hug really hard. You know how they always hug. This is the sound of their hug, this is Dreadna.

And Luehans like, their hug this is dreaded. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Oh, Jirinda, you and those blue eyes. Oh my god, you should see everything in my house. Let's look around my house. This is crazy. These are wall supporting roofs and roofs supporting floors and floors supporting hallways. I'm so interested in supporting supporting things. That's a load bearing wall. Do you know what that means?

It's a wall that supports a roof. Oh wow, look at these floors. Do you pick them from the catalog? No. I picked them online. What am I? Monster? Catalogs Monster?

Got them online, okay? Oh, online. Lohan is very judgmental when she hears the word online, as if she didn't just brag not too long ago about having a Pandora station, okay? You know that's online, right? It's radio. It's Pandora. You open the box and Loo comes out. You can't control it. So then she tells us, so we arrived to see this work remodel Ramona did for an entire year. Like, why?

Luann has been huffing extra spray paint because she's literally like Harvey Firesteam tonight. I just want to be loved! Maaaa! And I'm perplexed by Lee Wands as whole today. You know, I want to see women supporting other women and all of that stuff, but it's Ramona. Like, you can support other women and not really support Ramona. You know what I mean? Like when Gloria Steinem was paving the road for feminists since back in the 70s, I don't think she planned on people like Ramona, because then she would have vimended all kinds of shit.

Gloria Steinem didn't see the real housewives coming, and if she had, I'll tell you this, she'd never would have started burning bras. So, for Ramona goes in the house to her and she's like, oh, look at this room, this was just an ugly room before, and then I made it more transitional. What does that even mean? I think Ramona is just so excited to like feel a part of a movement, you know, so she's just going to start calling everything transitional. That shitty faux fur rug didn't just discover that it is who it is and like decide to live

its best life, okay? Like it was a shitty rug and it's still a shitty rug. It's not like a transition. Get over yourself. So Dorenda looks at this ugly rug and she goes, is this Dorenda? And I just love the idea of Jill's air and sitting at home in every single episode this season, like, ah, like she's just been killed in little ways.

Every episode this season, like Dorenda doesn't know her name. I mean granted, Dorenda barely knows her own name half the time, but it's still funny. Is it just Dorenda too? Nope, I got it online. Oh, online again, eh? Shut up online. Ramona, the queen of Ramonal. You know how Luan does that?

Whenever she's mad, but she usually does it on an accent in one word, it ascends. But now, every word in every sentence is Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh. Ramona, the queen, every model, really, you are the online, really. Love for sale. So Sonya is just going around, like, seeing what's not nailed down and she can fit in her purse, you know She's like look that shantlear Ramona. I'd love that shant won't come off damage Do you have one of those guns that are screws? Do you have one of those? That would be great. I'm really thrilled This is great. Look at everything I did for myself

You know some people are like Puerto Rico, Shmordor Rico. Guess what I did I had a sink put in my kitchen. The house one of those pull-off spray things. He can rinse your dishes easier before you have someone put them in the dishwasher. Or as a dishwasher. So bad at words. So the man is doing her back neck massage still as they walk through this house and she's like digging her heel through the flooring, you know. It's like well Ramona, good for you. Then she she tells us no flowers in the house, not even a chiapet. This is the reveal. Very revealing.

Now look, you know that I love Luan. I mean Luan's a mess. I actually love all the people on this show. But I especially love Luan. She's a fucking messy human. She really had to stick up her ass that she had to like kind of come down from it away or like pull out in the way as the show has gone on. But she's making it hard today. You know, like I loved your show. I loved your Bejeweled Trapper Keeper

and stuff. But you need to take 12 steps back to that Ramata in your renting out right now and rethink your wordstake bitch. Okay. You're making me root for Ramona. Get it together Luan. You don't win a gold medal for not drinking the breakfast of champions this morning. Look at her eyes, we're so skinny having the bull ray! As if Durinda hasn't gone home every night and vomited out her guts. I have news girls, can you believe it? It just started again. Le Chariere? No Durinda, the facts of life, okay? They brought back the facts of life. Of course,

Diary, what else we can talk about on this show? And then Sanja takes it even further as she always does. She's like, I don't know if you girls heard, but me and Carol had our first bowel movement together. We slid into each other's Wow, it's me. Just a girl who likes marathons. Sovereck Carol Sadhouse. She's wearing a t-shirt that says, Girl. And playing with her dog name, Baby. On a couch, it's called, Couch. Intensely comes over.

Oh my God, and how are you on this gorgeous day? What a pretty day! I planned to stay too not complained about this day. I planned to stay. Today, I know this is too much information, but today is the first day I poop normal. What do you mean normal? What's normal poop? It looks like a pee.

Peepy? That's diarrhea. No, like a green pee from a salad bar. I love salad bar. How we stop everything with eggs? Ehh, my eggs. They cut back to the other ladies in the haptons. You know what, that's right, little moly.

I'm gonna get some fresh air, sweat-killing, the elevator, and let it punch you. Hey, and then suddenly I was like, Hey, it lived suddenly, I was like, 20, 20, 20, 20. You know who thinks you, Durinba, whoever lives on floor eight. Who kind of fresh air is that? You're just going to smoke on someone else's floor.

So rude. Then Sonya tells her, why would you run back to the bathroom? Why don't you just get the diapers? Rumor is like, she's not kidding. She was diapers. She wore them on the airplane. Raman is like, she's not kidding! She wins diapers! She won't be on the airplane! And there's like a hundred pictures of Sonya in different positions on the plane

putting up the luggage, getting down the luggage, stretching, you know, down dog, putting her ankles behind her head, and she's wearing diapers under unzip jeans. She tells us, I'd like a fresh diaper, you know? You have to have them wherever you go. You don't want to get on a jittney without a diaper. I don't like using the lavatory on buses, so I don't.

I wear a diaper, and I don't even know what's happening. I know what's happening. You're shitting your pants on a bus, bitch. Who does that? You are literally the reason people don't want to take public transportation. Do you know what a bad rap public transportation gets because it smells like poop? And then they all laugh and laugh like they're so fabulous to have a friend who shits their pants on purpose. Soon they talk about the boat trip from hell and how Durinda is just wasted at that point

and just pushing everybody out of the way and being like, Where's the light package? Where's the children first night both? And then we cut back to Tinsley still trying to make her trip okay, which it wasn't, you know, but she's still trying to make it okay. So she's telling Carol, people have different thresholds of fear. Okay, I wasn't scared, but everyone else was scared.

And I had to be okay with them being scared. Well, I smelled smoke and then the boat was going like this. I know, but it was fine. You know, I'm like, everyone else is freaking out, but it's like my natural thing to be like, everything's fine, it's all fine. And Carol just blinks as she does, and you're trying to figure out what she's really thinking.

What is Carol ever thinking? She's like one of those people in a hospital bed and they're not moving, but in a movie, you know, when someone says, if you can hear me blink and then they blink, that's how Carol is sometimes. And she's doing that to Tinsley. Tinsley's like, Brian!

Carol's like, Blink. So just take that as a yes and run with it, you know. And I think that's why these two are friends. Because Tinsley can just insinuate a feeling, or she can project a feeling on the Carol and Carol will blink once, so Tinsley just thinks it's okay. So Carol tells Tinsley after blinking a few times, I'm not therapist, but- Just as a note to really anybody out there, but especially anybody who knows me, that's

where you end your sentence okay I'm not a therapist period I don't want to butt from you you're not a therapist to shut the fuck up and if you are my therapist also shut the fuck up I'm paying you I'm no therapist but you've been in abusive relationships and you're in a habit of saying that's okay you know that's where you are in this group like the boat it abused you and then you said it's okay boat and then before you know it you're in boat bushes and you're staring at the boat and then the boat got scared and called the cops on you and then you're in prison or as they like to say on boats the brigg and tinsley just Or is they like to say on boat the brrrggg? And Tensley just stares at Carol and then she starts kind of fanning herself with her fingers and she's like

Ah! I'm taking this very personally girl! Okay! Well don't! But I am! I'm taking it personally! But don't! But I am! But don't! But I am!

Yeah, you're taking it personally because your friend is comparing a bad boat ride to you being abused Fucking Kara back in the Hamptons. We lived so yeah Well, I'm still feeling the effects you had died for you Remember like we all had it so bad to be a bad that night I walked out and I was I'm gonna walk around And boom felt right out of me, which I think was Ramona actually taking responsibility for pooping on the floor. So I have to apologize for back at the beginning of the podcast when I said she would never take responsibility for pooping on the floor. She just sick responsibility for pooping on the floor. So you know, poop snaps or whatever. I don't know what's appropriate to give, but you go girl.

Well, I don't want to think about it. Ramona. Well, yeah, what's you don't want to think about it? Because you didn't poop on the floor. You pooped on the bed. Okay. And as much crap as Romona has taken over the years for forcing people to help her unpack and pack and unpack and pack and like do all do all her stuff while she's on vacation.

Luan like literally shit a bed. Okay. Like you can't you can't say anything to Romona anymore. Okay. Just so you guys know, like literally shit a bed okay like you can't you can't say anything to Ramona anymore okay just you guys know I'm gonna have skincare party at the googoo now they've been to this restaurant before this year but the fact that Ramona is coming up with the skin product in the first place when she's have like multiple served I mean looks great and everything guys don't give me wrong but she's had multiple skin care skin things done to her face multiple surgeries or

Fillers or toxic talks whatever so to come up with a skincare and just pretend that that's all out of a bottle A is hilarious and then that you're having your party for it at a place called magu you guys look up mr Magu, okay, and tell me what that face looks like it looks like an old pop-up I am pop-up. I didn't have that ageless glow to begin with okay mr. McGoo is old so the fact that Ramona is having a skincare line launch called ageless at a place called McGoo is just so fucking Ramona. And now we're at Sonya's house. So I hope you guys are ready for some more poop talk. Because Sonya is not only trying to put a human sized fan

inside a tiny little laundry hamper. She's also talking about poop, like a lot, a lot of poop. So she's showing her house. She's trying to rent it for 32 grand a month, which is just insane. I mean, I don't think Sonya and her prime even cost 32 grand a month. And she's super nervous and her friend,y, the house shower, comes over. And Sonia is explaining

all the shit that she didn't do that she was supposed to do before this house was shown. She's like, well, I did one floor, but then not my daughter's floor. Oh, and you have to tell them that in the backyard, the winter left. so the snow melted and then there's all this poop that was back there, but I didn't see it because there was snow and then I tried to clean it up, but now it's one big smear. So thank you, Sonya. Now you've ruined buses and bagels for me. What the frick? Is there going to be one scene in this whole show that is not about Pete please? Have I mentioned to me So Christie is like you know what Sonya? I'm gonna take care of it

You just go ahead go about your day. I'm gonna make sure this works and Sony says I feel a connection with her I feel such a connection with Christie Well, yeah, you know who I feel a connection to Anybody who will clean up my pee? I'm with you girl. People think I'm looking for some special prince charming to come along and sweep me off my feet. I'm not literally waiting for someone to clean up my dog poop. That's it. I'll do whatever you want for the rest of your life. Durant isn't an elevator. Lord help that elevator. Lord help that elevator.

Can you imagine being an elevator that Durinda's inside just like poking every part of you? Forcing you to stop at floor 8 everywhere she is just so she can change smoke out out of your doors. So she's still in apologetic Durinda mode where she knows she fucked up so she is just so she can change smoke out out of your doors. So she's still in apologetic d'Arenda mode where she knows she fucked up so she's just going to everybody's house and complimenting it. That's basically d'Arenda's power move in these in these shows where she's really fucked up. She just goes everywhere and compliments people. So she's at Bethany's house. She's like, you know, you're moving on lap. When you when the elevated doors open, right up in the way you are. Those places are also known as lobbies.

Amen, Jesus. I'm excited. Billings really good. I'm shocked. Billings also not shocked. I'm water. Billings chained. I'm milk.

Billings theory. I'm rainbows. Billings rain. Into a Billings door. Lower shakes. All caps. And if you're better, you need me. You know what, this is not typical of me

to be like me deep in my move, but I had, you know, I had half of this time. You know, it's like normally, I'm like, move this here, move this here, you know, like do this, do that. What's the matter? What's going on with happening? But this time, it's like I had help.

And they did it, like look at this. This place is sick. This place is sick. Look at this apartment, sick, okay? Like to be able to call this home after a trip like that in like a place with the wanker, black feet, it's like black face just from like walking around like, it's sweet, it's sick, it's like sick, sweet.

And to bring the follows to her around going, this is sick, this is sick, is that a thing? Is that a thing, guys? This she shows her brins room and Bethany is still obsessed with those raw stress for less home section lights inside of letters. You know, like, fuck, it says laugh, but it has lights in it. Does she get a kick back from fucking Marshalls?

Look, look at the bar. Where? Right over there, look, it's over there. This isn't say bye. Looked around it, okay, looked around it. It's the guest room. It's the bar! You're the guy who's got a nice make-up, isn't he?

A place he gets to make-up done. That's what you need in New York City. Right? Are you making this big fat guy to climb up in your flip-flops and feel like you've won a challenge, while you're finally finally getting to go to sleep? And you wake up in the next morning and you're gonna... Press you, be bad.

That's how you're kidding me. That means you need to have lit full of graft. Oh trust me, she will. She's going to have this photograph to some magazine by all the magazines and then go to every new stand in the city and put her magazine in front of Carol's magazine. So as Durinda's gushing all over the place, we are lifling lifling lifling lifling lifling lifling lifling. Bethany's totally agreeing with everything she says and she's following her around going, sick, right? Am I right? Sick, right? I mean holy guacamole, okay? Like sick. This is like holy sick guacamole sick,

okay? Sick, this is sickamole. That's like a mixture between guacamole and sick. It's like sickamoli. These are things in New York that people die for. Skicks, county shops, joint labs. Sickamoli. Alright, let's see. Come on. Let's see. Got some skinny girl, dressing, Christmas, skinny girl, lettuce, and a skinny girl, canna. You can only have one bite at a time because that's all the skinny fork and handle. Okay. Don't need to feel complete. Okay? Skinny girl, TM. And it's a skinny girl counter. You can only have one but at a time because that's all the skinny fork can handle, okay? Don't need to feel complete, okay? Skinny girl TM

So what better thing to talk about over a skinny girl branded dinner than shitting? Oh my god, did you poop? Like seriously? Like I pooping normal? Like I'm the only one who can poop normal out of all of us like gave me I may give people a lot of shit But I also can shit, you know what I mean? And then Bethany tells us for the thousands of times. I don't get to argue, I don't get to argue. You know what, I could lick a toilet bowl. Like I could literally lick a toilet bowl and I won't get it. Now mentally ill, I got that.

You know, that kind of sick, sick. Like when you get a good catch or like when you get a good remodel or when you get a house, you're gonna make millions of dollars off because you're like a brilliant real estate artist. You know, that's the kind of sick that I could do, okay? So Bethany really has nothing going on but her new counter tops and stuff so she's like, oh, see got into it with Lou

Remember that remember that remember when you got into it with Lou, you know the drunk you want to direct to another I didn't want to talk about it, but I'm just talking about it today. I didn't want to talk about it. That's a thing Okay, I went to speaking thing with her. I really guessed it devil. Okay. I did really really good I said you listen here devil the way it's gonna sing Alex the way you look at me normally Which she said and then she turns on me She turns on me Bethany's like what what she even do like like literally like I was there, but I was just thinking about like yeah Thanks stuff like that like what she do? She's starting with a pink cloud.

You know, pink clouds. Durant is basically blaming Louan for smog, like general smog conditions now. I was gonna do this. It was saying you lane. How about that, Louan? Staying in your lane. Other people who say stay in your lane, terrified people on the freeway at the same time that

Dorenda's drunk driving. You know who he gets to understand that the statement was loaded. You don't understand that you were loaded, okay? You're both loaded, statements are loaded, you're loaded, Luan's bad is loaded, Sony's diaper is loaded, this is a loaded show. It's only a hand shake. It's just two hands. It's like when people tell you there's no sound of one hand clapping. Um, that's bullshit. Listen.

That's my hand clapping itself. Okay? So shut up. How did she come at me? But you know what I'm getting good with therapist, you know? Did I mean a real good place with Jank? And they realized it's not about Junk. It's about me.

We didn't break up, it's just when we make sure that we're always in a growing place. I don't know, John very well. I only know John from watching him on this show, but I understand John's kind of personality because I'm an eater as well. And I can guarantee you this, Jon will always be growing, okay? You're welcome. So, Bethany comes back with a backhanded compliment. Well, you're lucky,

because like, what Jon, he's not going anywhere. Like, what's he gonna do? Like, rent a bike? Like, he literally can't. Like, physically, he can't. Like, he'll get on it and it'll beep him off and be like, no John no get off me It's like totally different with me Dennis because like I said Dennis 90 days like I'm not gonna talk to you for 90 days

Because you know it's like hard to realize that the person you love is the right person Maybe I'm not that person for him. Maybe he's not that person for me. Like really who is Dennis? He's a Venice That's who he is. Yeah, I'm out if you're forever alone like I might just be here forever like where's Kevin? I can't even keep a relationship with Kevin. It's time for commercial. It's time. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of WonderZoo podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. I'm full of crap and it's commercial.

It's me again. I'm still talking about poop smears and poop smears. And so back at Sonya, Sonya comes back from doing, you know, dumpster diving or whatever the hell she was doing while her house was being shown and Christy says you know Sonya she really liked the place and but here's here's what came up. Was it the poop? No, it wasn't the poop. Was it the dead people in the basement? No, it wasn't the basement. Was it the five foot tall fan in the laundry hamper? No, Sonya it wasn't that it was that you know you look at the backyard. I knew it was the poop. No, it's not the poop, Sonya, it wasn't that. It was that, you know, you look at the backyard. I knew it was the poop. No, it's not the poop, Sonya. Let's stop talking about poop, okay?

You look out in the backyard and there's that construction there. I mean, there's something we need to do something about that construction, okay? So I was thinking instead of 32 a month, it would be really helpful to put a two in front of that number. And Sonya says, I am not taking less than 32, Okay, if they can afford it, they shouldn't be looking, which kind of disqualifies Sonya herself from living anywhere ever.

Literally seriously, seriously, kill me now. Bethany and Luann are next, and they meet up at this like make your own lipstick place, which actually helps explain a lot of the die-roo-room looks this season. Bethany is dressed like a macrame, like plant, like ficus plant in the 70s. Like she basically looks like Carol in the 70s, just like this stringy thing in like silver macrame. And the man comes in wearing a silver bag and Bethany's like,

Oh my god, give back, match just my outfit. Piss, sterricle, piss, sterricle. Oh my god, that's sterricle, that's the bag I picked that for you, remember? Like, what would you even put your lipstick in? What would you put your wallet in? Like, you'd have nothing, okay? But I picked that back for you. So you're welcome, you know?

Like you're welcome, you know? Like, it's like I give to you. I give, you know, I can't stop giving. I'm the way I was just looking around this place. Like, where am I? I mean, make your lipstick while I'd never. At least it's not online. I want you to make a calmest cabaret lipstick, okay?

I wanted to not know the words to anything and be like super off-key, but really fun. And then I wanted to just smear itself all over pirate snacks in faraway places. Okay, hey, hysterical. Hey, hysterical. And LeWan is kind of shocked that Bethany's being so nice to her all of a sudden, because really, Bethany has been a monster to everybody at some point in time or another and she's just being nice to people because she's screwed like she knows she's screwed and she's trying to win back any friend she can at this point right so Luans resisting the urge to give herself a back neck massage while she's like oh my neck while

she's talking to Bethany and just took it the positive. And she tells us, Bethy and I have known each other for a long time. She's fun. She has her moments, but that fun girl is there somewhere. Now the curls out of the waist, we can reconnect. Then Lou tells the makeup lady, well, you know, here's the color I want. You know how certain reds are better than other reds?

I mean, there's orange red red red just pain red. I like blue red. And Beth's new's like oh my god yeah blue red so I start to red and she said she needs therapy. Oh for what she did to me. No no she doesn't think she did me thing to you. Well I have no relationship with Dorenda. After I know what she thinks of me, do you remember when she called me accountess? Do you remember when she said me? A countess? Do you remember when she said, I have a mug shot? Do you remember when she said,

hit it boys? Oh no, that was me. One, two, three hit it boys. Loving that man of mine. Like Cersei shut up. You know me, Bethany. I'm the kind of person that forgives. I'm the forgiver, I'm the great forgiver.

But I just don't know if I can forgive her. She has neither forgiveness, that's what she said, so there you go. Well, you know, it hurts. It hurts, I mean, I've known her in a long time, but when you're the one during this chasing around rude with an emotional rolling pin, Serifying. Serifying. It's like the first time I learned that drum sounds don't actually come out of pianos.

But unfortunately, you hurt the ones you love the most. And I say, love the one you're with. So what about you and Carol? Well, you know, here's how I think about Carol. Sometimes you're on the trip and you take the wrong turn and then you can't find the main road. And then you're like, I'm going to go out of the car and just walk. And then your friends are like, you know, like everyone in the movie theaters, like, why are you walking? Why are you walking? Like, what the hell are you doing? You know, like, whatever, I'm pretty like a Morgan bikini, like, you know, like everyone in the movie theaters like, why are you walking? Why are you walking? Like, what the hell are you doing? You know, like whatever I'm pretty like I'm wearing a bikini Like I'm just gonna walk nothing bad's gonna happen to me like it's cornfield's what's gonna happen?

And next thing you know, you're bare-sounding bad movie is the pull through your head Hmm movies I don't want to do movies now films Wait, you know, Carol told me she She told me. She told me last week. Remember, she told me. She said she wants light and fluff you, like Tinzy. Okay?

I'm not light. She wants light and young and not responsibility. Like her man. Young. And her men have no responsibility. I know because she stole one right out of my kitchen with the oven still going. Yeah, speaking of ovens,

and me else, you can make it home with no pressure or effort from Skinny Girl to you. Carol and I are like burnt marinara, okay? You can't fix it. You can put sugar on me, you can put a little vinegar on me, but if it's burnt on the bottom, you like, you taste it on the top. That girl. I don't understand a lot of what Bethany says, but I know what it's like dealing with a burnt

bottom, never mess with the bottom girl, though ruined your life. Also who puts vinegar in burnt marinara? Does anyone actually eat the shit that she put out? I mean I'm no skinny girl. After they bitch to each other about their latest and long string of failed relationships, they move on to other failures that they have in common. Ramona. So, we arrive at Ramona's reveal, and it's white.

Everything is white. white everything is white. The kitchen is white. She has a slab on her countertop. A slab, Bethany. It's this thick like a headstone like someone's going to be buried there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll be here.

I'll be. And then Bethany gets that wide eyed like you're a crazy asshole. Look on her face, but she kind of smiles and nods and just keeps it going so she's not yelled at As much as the Wann is at the reunion and it's so cold in there. You wouldn't want to spend one night in there It needs a cookie jar or something that says Mott backwards. No warmth. No charm. No character. I'll tell you what that girl's not getting a tour Money can't buy you class You know what she's my inspiration. Roode. Well lucky for you, money can't buy you. A pass.

It's three thousand fours. They'll hang not there and carry it falling down. But I still have to apologize to it. And if I do apologize apologize to it you can apologize back. Take a fucking treat. Carol arrives at like Benihana or somewhere. I don't know where it is but they're very careful to show us meat being put on a stick. Like it's a huge thing. It's a huge shot. So Carol comes in and she's wearing, we've seen her already in her fingerless gloves

today. Now she's wearing these sleeves that go over her hands, you know, there's like a little fumble. And I realized at first with that Carol was trying to do the like suddenly seeking Susan Madonna phase of things, which, you know, like, way to stay relevant. But then I realized that she's got like a hand issue. Like I think that she sees herself as Madonna back then, but with hands of Madonna from now. Like Madonna made it into a time machine, but her hands got stuck in the elevator. You know what I mean? So everything got changed, but the hands, like all she can see

her bad hands. So now she's always covering them with like hand of Lodge or whatever, and it actually makes me feel for Carol. Just kidding, so as a real real housewife does she enters caring too of her own hardcover books. Gross. And Dorenda goes, yes, buddy, I have a book in my ring! I need you to think I'm dumb but actually you per take once in a while. No one has ever accused you of not partaking in anything.

And you don't have anything in common. You're reading a book. She wrote a book. Well, she knows a really smart ghost that did. I just came from my agent, and I'm not going to pin all of my hopes on this, but I think I've finally been adopted. He's rich and bald, and he'll even take Sandy! I'm 10 years old! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'm 10 years old! Whaaaaaaaaaah!

But seriously folks? They're optioning the Widows Guide to Fucking To be a TV series called Widows Guide to Fucking TV People And tomorrow I'm gonna have a party for Cosmopolitan magazine to celebrate The Marathon! for Cosmopolitan magazine to celebrate the marathon. And then they show this clip of Carol reading. They show this clip of Carol reading Cosmopolitan at the newsstand, like Isaac Miss Rahi

in that documentary where he became famous where he's like waiting to see the reviews of his new line and she's standing there like reading the fresh after fresh after press his Cosmo at the new stand like the paragraph that she wrote and she's wearing those fingerless gloves oh my heart kind of hurt I mean I like an asshole, but also a good person for feeling things But also just like I might literally have a heart attack because I eat a lot back to the restaurant This year with a buck sexy salad's not my life anymore And a possible television show about old people fucking it's been a transforming year

D'Rinda goes roasted chicken. Hey, that's rude. No, that's been a transforming year. Dorenda goes. Roasted chicken! Hey, that's rude. No, that's William Olyring for dinner. Is it my turn on that? No, really, really, I wanted roasted chicken. Wait, I think they've got turkey here. Hey!

Doc, you know I like how Doc's waddle. Hey, I'm leaving! So then Carol tells Dore Durinda the goss that apparently Bethany has been texting Red Scarf guy and she texted him and said, hey, am I am he this weekend? Like you want to burn marinara together? Like seriously sick? And Durinda says Yeah, when they shoot that tape, you see Bethany's house and she's gonna sink. And she's telling me to mistake that

I mean scam likely is calling me of a label. It's not like it really wants to get in my pants, you think? She has such good sync. And she's telling me the mistake that's... I mean, scam likely is calling me a bit of a label. It's not like it really wants to get in my pants, you think? No, it wasn't a mistake. She aligns his character, and then she reaches out to see if he's in my hammy! Um, with Bethany Frankl, that's called Love. Okay, I don't know who you think you've known for all these years, but I think that's very romantic Carol

She's so too face and then she texted me and she reads out and she said she had a wall in Cardena We're exactly not the only one fucking wall. You know I told that one. You do that to me, baby No figuratively. Since they both agree that Bethany just distorts the story and makes it up just looked at, well, Carol laughs with that a care on the world about her cosmo magazine article on her marathon, and to render last carelessly about not being a drunk. What cosmopolitan you gumballs? You, gumballs. Time for the Cosmopolitan magazine marathon tracks to party. I get that this is marathon theme, so you're supposed to wear activewear, but I think it's like an excuse for a couple of things.

Carol wants to look like two of the worst versions of Gwen Stefani ever. And she wants Adam to be properly dressed for a cocktail party at least once in his tenure on the show. It's athletic. She is a cocktail party, but it took three times more work. How did this take more work? Cosmopolitan threw it and you literally put on jogging pants, Carol.

So Ramona, the supportive friend that she is, walks in in a cocktail dress. And she's like, can I say, contract, contract, visually, officially? This is like, officially, congratulations. Like right now, if I was a sink and you were me, you'd be saying, congratulations, sinks, you just did something really unstoppable for a moment and proved that she's every woman. Carol's like, what are you talking about? You're in a cocktail dress.

Then Heather comes up and she's like, mama, step off the curb, mama. And I love seeing Heather because she's such a mom at all time. Like she comes up with a paper towel just starts wiping everyone's face, you know? And her mom was was like oh my god It's that girl. What's the name? Hey girl. What do you say? Give me some love? I can do some love do that do that right now. Good say it right now

She's like you better step off the curb and give me some sugar mamas and Then Heather does that like some mom smile thing where her mouth her her face is smiling And well her mouth is smiling and her eyes are kind of not moving, and her forehead is not moving, and her nose isn't scrunching. But right between her nose and her eyebrows, I guess the bridge of her nose, that's the only thing that scrunches on her face. And I forgot that about Heather. And you know what? I've missed it, Heather. I've missed your bridge. I've missed your nose bridge amoting. I never understood how important that was to me until you were gone. And look, you're always

telling people to step off the curb and trying to get all straight because you know Puff Daddy. And now your friend is having a truck suit party. I mean, why did they ever fire you? She ran a marathon. Mama, small moths, hi, Nama. And of course, she's the first one here. She's a really good friend. She supports me and everything I do, even though I've barely no her name, because I never call her back anymore. Tensy walks in in this fluffy fur coat, and she's still upset about the weekend, but she's trying to be fun. So she looks like a Swiftress Weeper Duster, which I just got. Those are amazing, by the way. They're not giving me money to say this, but the swift first sweeper Duster thing is literally,

like it will take dust off anything. Get one. So that's Tinsley and Ramona Caesar and she's like, Tinsley, oh my god, what are you doing? Cheerlead for Dallas now? Like who is she? Hey, fat guy, fat guy dating Tinsley with all that money. Can't you tame it down a little bit? Look, what the heck? I decided to wear my Alma Mater Columbia because I played tennis there, and I wore my eyelash, she's been like graduated from there too, and I just don't talk about every day,

but that doesn't mean that I'm not a smart girl, mon! Oh! So then Adam comes in and he's got this humongous trophy, which is kind of cute because it's like Carol's, it's this monumental time in her life and she looks over and she sees like two trophies. So he's coming in and of course he's dressed, he's dressed correctly for the first time ever, you know, in his tracksuit or whatever. And this really does prove the old adage. You can date younger, but they only get older. You know what I mean? I mean, Adam really looks like a creep in a white van

right now offering children lollipops from behind like a half open tinted glass window. And it's so awkward in Carol and Adam talk, you know, which I imagine is like every moment of their life. And she's like, thanks for the trophy. And he's like, well, maybe we could get a coffee one time like his this weird way of talking since he's creepy Anyway, Adams never done anything really mean like he's fine. He makes out. That's what it is You guys he makes out. It's that's why I hate him

Sometimes I can't pinpoint why I hate people, you know, and I think it's just part of my personal It's like my natural but like why do roses smell good, you know, but that's like my gross part I'm just hateful, but I'm trying to find reasons because I'm older now So I'm like, why do I hate that person and now I figured it out kale. I hate him because of kale So she goes nice to see you looking At leisure yeah Okay Hey guys, could you please get back together move in together and lock the door behind you

So the rest of the world never has to do with your asshole personalities again who talks like that So Scott's over telling Tinsley gosh Sorry, that was shit Scott's over there telling Tinsley. He's been working on it for days that trophy He sent me pictures of it and everything and tends to like oh You didn't tell me he sent you pictures So Heather gets Heather gets Carol alone for a second. She's like mama's So Ramona said that you've been

Finding your voice which is weird because as someone you actually knows you being your voice which is weird because as someone you actually knows you do you have your voice mamas you've always had your voice okay I hear it every time I call you and it says hi this is Carol I'm not home right now but I'll call you back your voice promises to call me back but then you never actually so I'm really familiar with what your voice sounds like okay so I know that you've got one muh muh well okay know about my well about your voice maybe it just needs to be about maybe it just needs to be maybe it just needs to be shut up Carol maybe it just needs to be about you and not cool you know who Bethany I'm just you know what I want you to say it not me because this is your voice mama Bethany I'm just trying to darling sing some people and I'm just, you know what? I want you to say it. Not me because this is your voice, mama.

That's me. Well, I'm just trying to balance things out. People, and I'm not going to say their names because I'm not a horrible human being. I have shapewear. I did it first. I had the idea for jeans first. And you know what? Is someone who's come up with shapewear jeans before some people? I just wanted to say that mama, some people are absorbed sometimes, they're self-absorbed. You know they're absorbed with themselves and they don't even realize it. And some people, who I'm not going to say their name, but if their name started with an M, it would make more sense, methanie. Okay, some people cannot be told.

If someone's offering you a meatball on a fork and trying to chew chew its way into your mouth when you're not feeling good and they slap the fork away and call you the seabird. Some people just can't be taught otherwise. You know what I'm saying, mamas? Well, Heather gets it. She probably understood Bethany Quickard didn't any of us. Which is why she got fired first. So the girls all take a group photo and compliment each other on each other's like diarrhea bodies. And Tinsley's like, that's my new business. It's

gonna be called the Columbia Friends. And everybody laughs. Not really because they think diarrhea is funny, but just the thought of Tinsley having a job, you know. So Adam is still awkwardly talking to Carol and like jangling change in his creepy pockets like his creepy jogging pants pockets Grat it's quite the accomplishment and the article whoa You're gonna inspire a lot of people to run it Let's grab a coffee sometime and catch up and then Carol who pretends like she's really hard to get Just pauses for a long time, like, CAUFY!

I don't drink coffee anymore. ONLY TEE! Oh, Carrie Hadshaw. It's over. James. So Bethany's in the car is raining outside, and Kevin is still in the driver's seat. What is the deal with Kevin? Can Radar online? Can someone please shed some light on this? What is going on with Kevin? Where did he run to? Okay?

Sony gets in and she's wearing skinny girl jeans and Bethany said, Oh my god, look at you. Oh my god, you're such a model. Like, oh my god, this is so good for the rain. Look at this, I'm freaking out. Those are sick. Those are like literally sick. Oh, I wear them every day. I love free things. And Sonia tells Bethany, I had Mr. Watch TV over again.

Uh-huh. You know, I'm not the type to blab about my relationships. So that's why I give them mononkers. Like, Frenchy. Yeah, the mysterious Frenchy that was in every scene last year. What the fuck are you talking about Sonia? Psychic to the jean store and there's all these like tie-dye Cotton throw things everywhere and Bethany bucks in just like she walks into every place just criticizing the fuck out of it

She's like oh my god. Hi. What what are we on an acid trip today seriously? Like literally what is this like? What is this tie-dye literally like all dye? Literally? Like, all dye, okay? This isn't even tie dye. This is like all dye. It's like, I dye, I dye. So they meet Bill, who's the gene guy, the guy at the gene factory. He knows very serious because he's wearing tight jeans and a flannel shirt and some like faux fur vest thing. I mean, even Sonya makes fun of his vest. And she took it up the butt the night after Lewand in a greenhouse. Okay? Sonia's not very judgmental. Belle, Belle, I'm here because I want to be honestly involved and like I want to speak to speak, walk the walk way to a gene to gene. You know what I mean? I want to like skimmy the skinny girl, the girl. So Sonia who's obsessed with prison chis still sees the line of

industrial washers and she's like, oh my god, this is like prison. My prison chis, this is how they kill people. Oh my god, she's like a back dog like Sarah say she's like oh my god this is like prison my prison shows this is how they kill people oh my god she's like a back dog like seriously like I am to it's like two waxed up so kind of fun we're having I mean we're having so much fun like literally like the difference between Sonia and Carol is it Carol takes herself so seriously and Sonia doesn't you know and that's what I need because like I really don't like taking myself seriously seriously what is this tie dye well I'm gonna myself. I'm literally gonna kill myself. Remodel this entire factor.

I'm taking all my money out. I'm definitely point to a machine. She goes, oh my God. Wow, what's that? What's that machine? What's that machine? That is a machine that when the jeans are wet, it super dries it.

So a dryer. It's a dryer. The sun, you says, yeah, it brings the water out. I'm betting, oh, what? You're the smart one now? Like seriously, you're the smart one. Oh, but feel how soft this is you know why because it's been through the wringer like me in Relationships, which is why I don't give a fuck what you think anymore. What what are you the popular one now seriously? I went to fashion college. This is so amazing how it reminds me of going to fashion college

You know where I learned about those machines that people die in and the rings that people wring her in, you know how it is. So they're brushing jeans and being explained how jeans are like colored and shaded to show bigger dicks or whatever. And she's like, what? Like seriously, like you make them look like people have bigger packages. And the guy says, yeah, that's why it's called BPD, big package denim. And that's saying it's called BPD, big package denim.

And that seems like, oh, I got a, a, a, tear, a, a, tear, that is a great thing, that is dead up up here. She's trying so hard to convince herself that she's having fun, that literally employees are putting themselves in the big washing machines that's just killing themselves. she's having fun that literally employees are putting themselves in the big washing machines and just killing themselves. Ever at Madam Paul Lett? How are you? I'm here to see Jay.

John your wife is here to see you. Why if you get my wife? Anyway, you get my wife. He's the big bullies sludge I climb every night and say, you know what? I may not have liked that trip but I made it to the top okay so John comes out like hey the wind the gospel goes deep for a while look at those dresses you like those dresses I love my dresses tank I love dresses for me well they could be a dresser depending on how long they stay here you know what's gonna happen if somebody forgets they left the dress here.

I'm gonna put them on you baby. Welcome to your castle, queen. My daughter is my sister, okay? Now, Ageless, by Ramona. You know that it's Ageless because I had a poster blown up of me at kinkos or kinkos whatever you call it, fetties kinkos, cuz I'm bad with words and then I had them get a big eraser and I had to take off everything except my eyes cuz I support eyes, I support eyes, I support other eyes like literally this picture looks like anime

okay so she's like oh my god look at. So she's like, oh my god, look at that picture. It's like giving birth, okay? This is a pre-celebration for Hspy Ramona. I just want the girls to get here and put Hspy Ramona on the hands and tell me what they think. Spoiler alert, they're gonna say, oh my god, this feels like lotion. So Joranda is keeping consistent in this episode and she shows up like, oh my god, Renonlin! You know we do this entire rest like beautiful, you can't even remember! Renonlin is just copied by Jill Zeran.

He's amazing, proud of you. So proud of you. You ain't proud of this game changer. This is the game changer, it's Ageless. The man comes in wearing Grover. Oh my gosh, there's another one. Another Aislist drunk. Look at you, Aislist.

So, it turns out it comes in and she's still being defensive about a goddamn trip. Guys, I have a new business plan. It's called Tinsley Travel Tips. Huh! Travel trips you'll never forget. Ha ha ha ha! You're not just busy. That was a good trip, right? Right? Travel trips she'll never forget That was a good trip right? It's a vacation so amazing. You'll literally shit your pears

Sonia gets out of an uber black and she's wearing She's wearing readers and Ivana Trump hair and she stares at the door and she slams it really hard And then she takes off her CVS readers like, that's right, that's right. Ivanka without a K, it's me girls! Now remember that time when Sony got screened up by Bethany for Cheater Brand and Stupid Seaward, etc. etc. Sonya never learns, you know? She's like me in PE class, like refuses to learn anything.

And she comes in with shoes, okay? Her shoes, and at first it's like, oh, that's nice. She's just gonna bring maybe shoes for Ramona because she can't afford another gift. I mean, I don't know. But no, she makes Luan model the shoes. She's putting out, she's like, I got big ones for you, Luan. She's like having them model them and she tells us, you know, the people who buy Ramona's skin care meet my shoes. Same demographic, right? Makes sense to me.

And Ramona, of course, immediately calls her out on it. This tonight, this is about me, okay? This is about Ramona being ages and skincare. Not shoes. Sonia, okay? I support other women, but not this much, Sonia. And then Sonia does the most hurtful thing she can possibly do she's like well There's no way I'm bringing Carolyn to Brindish. She's after what they put me through Oh my god, this is gonna be the end of the Rinden Carol, okay? This is gonna be like murder suicide coming up here. Oh my god. It's my ageless party This is probably gonna be the finale because I'm the star of this show So everybody let's like talk about the end of our story lines for example ageless

Saints I did a floor by myself all by myself. It's like building my house. It's like I had a child out of a foundation for giant Think for it's such a good place all the girls So you says well actually, I think to read this probably so little snappy snappy what about Bethany? She's angry. I don't see angry. I see free jeans. That's basically what I see I don't think Bethany supports women. Okay, like she can't even text like she doesn't even support Siri Okay, she doesn't even support like a voice of a woman on a phone and Carol goes up to Liu How was rehearsal? Oh, it was amazing. We've got a beatboxer that works in Hamilton. And of course, it's like the most white bread beatboxing you've ever seen in your almost

as white bread is Luan standing on that coffee table last week going beatboxing guys, you know, will, will, will, will, will, will, and then we get a clip of this rehearsal with Sonia just completely not knowing her lines which are terrible lines You know, maybe her brain is just rejecting the bad art But she's not getting the lines and then that guy bend the director is in the audience going I can do it baby and he's like doing the arm dancing the audience and then Sonia is like crashing over the music stand You know she shits the floor or whatever. And then you just hear Ben go, I'm gonna kill myself.

So Dorenda comes up to the win and Dorenda's like five shits to the win right now. You should be proud Dorenda, okay? You should be proud. I wanna congratulate you on your age with makeup sinks. And you're a partner with the Ayol the elevator door that opens very lovely and sweet Jay, I'm sorry we had a mishap, but here's what he said I prayed about it. I went to church and I said riches Get me a tea loose with a knife and three blue cheeses and I support you and I'm sorry and the Wands goes I know we don't have to say it again to it I know to render I know she needs to apologize again and again to me

But you know, show me show me you're doing something about your drinking problem Okay, cop to it and I didn't mean to say cop by the way Only the wand could call someone a drunk while laughing about being arrested for being a drunk. So they hugged you hard and Dorenda gets lipstick all over everything, you know, and probably leave some gum and Luan's hair on accident because she opened mouth hugs. You know how Dorenda is. Dorenda tells us, you shouldn't get into my money. And why, I'm sorry, you!

Okay, but maybe she's like the winners, but maybe it's not the kind of friendship we have. Or maybe chickens did come before the egg. Maybe there's glad enough crannies in the bags. Maybe clouds of God coughing. Maybe we'll really awake when we're dreaming, but we're dreaming when we're really awake. Maybe toast this bread is just really hot. Maybe email is really magic. Maybe gravity's not real and Apple just fell on that guy's head

because he was sitting in the wrong place. It's work time. Maybe cavemen lived in caves because they didn't know how to use breakfast. Maybe she asked which they were tiny like dogs. Maybe Sally's being who reads the talk herself. Make a valid fail for the system itself for our team. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Water, please subscribe to our channel.