Watch What Crappens - RHONY in Morocco - Live From NYC

Episode Date: October 14, 2018

For the first time ever, we cover Real Housewives of New York IN New York!! It's a raucous, hilarious night live from the Gramercy Theatre where we recap the seminal RHONY ep, "Last Call, Morocco" (season 4, episode 10). If any RHONY trip could rival Scary Island, this is the one. Come take a trip down memory lane with us. It'll be worth it. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

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HAPPY THINGS HAPPY THINGS I'm in the center of my life I'm in the center of my life I'm in the center of my life I'm in the center of my life I'm in the center of my life I'm in the center of my life I'm in the center of my life I'm in the center of my life I'm in the center of my life

I'm in the center of my life I'm in the center of my life There's so much that happens Oh my man These chairs are satanic, okay these chairs Oh my god It's Friday night in New York City I'm putting on the voice So sweet cute I Forgot what hell this city can be too. Oh Yesterday we were coming here hung over dragon from the hotel, bends like a few blocks.

I'm like, do you remember what that means? Oh my god. Okay. These are city blocks, bitch. Then it starts pouring down. We come here, we're like soaking. Everybody was coming in here like, what are we even fucking doing here? Yeah.

Yeah. And then today it's a beautiful day in New York, I'm gonna come five. Yeah. And everyone's walking down the street like, Hey! I know. It was amazing. Oh my god! Everybody's psyched in the audience. Oh my god, it is so exciting.

It's always exciting, but it's especially exciting tonight to come here to the Grammar Street Theater in New York City because this is our very first time ever recapping real housewives of New York in New York City because this is our very first time ever recapping real housewives of New York in New York. And we have all sorts of people that came from literally around the world. We have people who came in from Singapore, from Sydney, from Scotland, from New Jersey. Jersy, I'm so sorry that you have been court ordered, returned to New Jersey. Yes. You guys, this is one of those times where no matter what side of the political spectrum

you're on, you've got to go. They get it right sometimes, right? Like, bye Joe, too, guys. By. Yeah. Okay, you guys. Don't let the door hitch you. We're the good bitch.

For those of you guys who don't know, it's official. Joe, Joe, is getting deported back to Italy. So that's happening. Italy is so mad they're taking away pasta. Yeah. They're like, fuck you. We didn't ask for this. It's not about the pasta.

I'm excited because I have some family here tonight. I mean, you're all our family. But my brother and sister-in-law are here somewhere. They're not both hot. They mayin-law are here somewhere. They may actually they're here somewhere my cousin Melissa is here And you guys Melissa Turned 40 today, so she is spending her 40th birthday here with all of us. So happy birthday, Melissa Love you, but where. Where are you?

My best friends are here, Brandy and Aline. Hi. Aline's the pushy one with an iPad, so by some merch, we've got some magnetic poetry and some pins. Love you, girl. And we don't know. We think Stephen from Summer House is here. Well, I don't know if he is, but he was last night.

We didn't say hi to him. He's like, why didn't she say hi to me? We have to be honest. I got this look all night. Oh, there, it's late. Yeah. Also, I've lost this fucking apple pencil which I'm not even using. I've lost it five times today, okay. I've had a lot of emotional issues today. I'm like, where is it? Where's my bag, where is it? You're like, by a fucking piece of paper, Ronnie, already, and it was sitting up here. It's been a dramatic week, honestly.

Like, we went, in case you didn't hear, yes, so we went to the Regency on Wednesday. And we got really, really drunk. I got so drunk that I literally bought a ticket to once on this island, so I'm going. I'm going to a mad and they have a Broadway show tomorrow. Because I got that drunk. I guess they're worse.

They're worse ways to throw at the bombs. Flowers to eat. Has nobody seen that musical? It's the main thing. Rocks. I saw it. Drunken Husts. It's not rock to throw at the bombs.

I don't know. I'm winning their musical. One song on this podcast. So I mean, should we just like, this is a big episode. It's big, you guys. A big episode with a lot to cover. When this episode aired, I believe this was our first year of doing a watch at Krapins, right?

I think it may have even predated us. No, I'm not sure. Oh, we talked about the game. I don't know. I remember that. We have recapped this in some way, shape or form. But this was back in the day where I was fairly new to house wise, because we had just started doing this show. like, I'm gonna take out this in some way, shape or form. But this was back in the day where I was fairly new to housewise,

because we had just started doing this show. And I was like, this show, it's toxic! I will not stand for this! Like, I was furious. First of all, in general, I was angry here back then. Like, you guys have helped me become a happier person. It's become a happy person. Also, about 50 pounds feels good.

Not gonna lie. But I was mortified. I was I'm a happy person. Also about 50 pounds feels good. Not gonna lie. I think that's it. I was mortified. I was like, these ladies are so horrible. This Jill Zarin woman needs to be burned at the stake. Let's bring that back. Let's bring that back, okay? You know, sometimes there are witches, okay?

I know, listen to the happy people. You're like, no! Hi! Sweet Jill. This is a look on Jill's face through 90% of the episode. Well the good news is that it's time for Jill to have her redemption. Ladies and gentlemen, Jill's there, and no, just kidding. I just did that just to get Ronnie really scared there for a second. He was like,

Jill's there and literally had us invent shut up mountain from back in the day. Because I was like, go to shut up mountain, got damn it, fuck it! So here we are all these years later. And I was like, well, I feel better about this. Well, I still feel like it's toxicity. Yes, yeah. But it was so much more fun this time. I mean, it really is fun seeing how much Lewana's changed. This was right in that section where

Lewana was still pretending like life was great. She was a bit of an every one. And she hadn't filed for anything terrible yet. She hadn't been kicked out of any motel sixes yet. No. No offense. Yeah, count us. Anyway, welcome to Watch or Crappens.

The podcast about all that crap we just love to watch on Bravo. Tonight we are recapping the last comaraco classic Roni episode. Who watched the episode again to get ready for this? Who else was just laughing the entire time? Was it not amazing? I mean, Scary Island gets all the credit, but going back and watching this, I mean, this was... Yeah, it was toxic, but it was toxic and hilarious, which is all that matter. Well, I mean, so is this, but it's delicious, you know what I mean?

Titos. Toxic Titos. Delicious. So, should we just like dive into it? Yes, okay, so for those of you who are friends of or who didn't watch this, also I like that there's house lights so I can actually see your faces. I know, you're adorable people, you know that.

Look, someone's wearing the Wasamadah, what's going on, what's happening, sure. Wasamadah, what's happening, really good. Oh, two of you guys are, oh my god, two Wasamadahs, what's happening. Oh, but for friends of them who aren't familiar with this shit. This was in a supersized episode. Yeah.

Now, normally in these podcasts, live shows especially, you know, our first live show is 3 1,5 hours. And 110 degree summer heat, and only my mom and her old lady friends are there. So, from then, we've tried to save off about five minutes per live show, but I'm just gonna warn you, a lot of nothing happens, and we're gonna talk about every fucking show. Yeah. But I'm just gonna warn you, a lot of nothing happens,

and we're gonna talk about every fucking show. So just fucking. We are, we are, we are. So the episode opens up with the previous leads on Real Housewives of New York, which is important because. Oh so much happening. We need to like revisit.

So the best, it just opens up with previously on Real Housewives of New York. Then you just see your mom saying, why marriage is great. I'm so blessed. Everything is good. Marriott and I are so happy. Too blessed to be stressed.

I have a wonderful husband and a daughter who's gonna grow up to look like my sister. The psychic said, one to every is gonna get brown hair, look at me. They're walking through some, you know, Morocco or whatever and Sonia's like, but what if your husband leads you after your daughter goes to college or something? She's like, no, no, no, no. We're going to go to college together, because we're basically like the same age. And then, of course.

Sonia, by the way, is so calm. Yeah. You know how Sonia now is like, yes, my vagina. That's my vagina. Sonia back in the day was still pretending she was classy too, you know? Yeah, yeah. She's that girl to pretend to own all the Saudi boats that she worked on back in the days and college or whatever. And she's very like,

You have to know the right people to get the proper tables of Morocco. Like you literally don't. That is not true. They all sort of had like a stick up their ass in this season That was kind of great, you know because like you said now they're all just like loose but back then like so on you Luan they all were like They had they thought they were like really hot shit, which was perfect for us I'm not there just hot shit. I mean, but I'll tell you let me tell you something though It doesn't matter who you are because a camel don't care

something though, it doesn't matter who you are because a camel don't care. Because the next shot was like one of the most classic things. This is why I love Luan because on top of everything else that's happened to Luan, she's also been thrashed around by a camel. It was so good. Should we just like act out the camel? Why would you take our chairs up? Let's take our chairs up and these will be our camels. OK. This is my camel.

This is my camel. Thanks for liking me. Oh, what a doth's a lot of them all. It knows my music. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Are you okay? I need a moment. I need a moment to breathe. Oh! Oh! All right. Okay, I need a moment. I need a moment to breathe. All right, take a steady ginger step forward. Really hurt my thighs actually.

That really hurt. I'm not flexible enough to straddle a chair. I'm pretty sure I said this then and I really believe it now. That is the first Kamel in history to have tone. I don't even know what that means, but I like it. Like she was probably humming on that Kamel, you know? What rhymes with class? What wouldn't be able to buy you class? Like, whoa! A camel!

The camel has perfect pitch. It's like, get off of me! Fucking monster! It's like, how did we end up in voice class? Morocco, you silly camel! It's a bitter camel somewhere, just like in a little club in Morocco. Just like,

sad that's music career didn't take off. So then we see, then the last part of the previous leases that we see, Joel and Ramona are having a huge fight, which is famous because it's the one where it ends with that, like the gift we've seen everywhere with Ramona on the bed, me like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh,, it filled us in, that, Corinne Finalson, that she reminded us that the fight was because Ramona was still mad that Jill had made a surprise appearance at Scary Island, and then Jill was mad at Ramona because Jill had been schmoozing with someone from Kodak,

and Ramona had gone up and like, hey, you work Kodak? That's sort of old-fashioned, right? Have Kostya and Opportunity work Kodak? That's sort of old fashioned, right? Have Costgill an opportunity with Kodak? I mean, when was the last Kodak event you were at? I know. Even a broken Ramona's right twice a day, okay. That was a lot of fortune-telling. Yeah, also, Sonya was still so sonia when they were on those camels.

She goes, well, that's the second time I was shit my pants today. I mean, modern Sonia just shits her pants. She now just wears diapers on jittneys and just shits whenever she wants to. Cut to Bethany crawling onits whenever she wants to. Cut to Bethany crawling on every camel she can find. I got a elongated colon. I ain't never shit. So Bethany was on this season, right? Or was she not on? Oh, no. What's the matter? Didn't it feel good?

I just like to get booze and I need to be a couple of you here like no no matter what and That's okay because I do that with Lisa Vanderpump. Yeah I'm impressed you didn't get booze. Yeah, I'm gonna write her an email and say I said your name and you didn't get booze things are looking up Yeah So now we move on to the taglines. The season four taglines. Oh, Lord. Did you record? I wrote them down.

Of course I did. Oh, man, of course. Well, I saw Cindy and Sonia in the market. I've got literally an hour of previously. Because everything they showed, I was like, that was amazing. So Sonia, he knows everything about Morocco. He's walking around in like a flower potter's hat. It's like one of those square hats.

It's like covered in toilet paper wads or whatever. It shows crazy. And then Cindy tells her, do you want you to audit and act how you act? And somebody's like, well, my daughter has better manners than you. I'm like, that's not answering the question. But they're fighting because Cindy was accusing everyone

of stealing her hangars. Yeah, I mean this show. It's the greatest thing Cindy ever did. So... She still hasn't gone them back. So now we go to the tag lines. I don't want to cover it. Any of you think you are?

You didn't apologize. I don't remember that. Oh, Ramona and her bait. Okay, yeah, do it. Because I don't... No. Oh, Ramona and her bait. Okay, yeah, do it because I don't. No. Jill, crying in house, Ramona people can't handle the truth. Those are the tag lines. Oh, guess what?

This is why Steve Jobs gave me this pencil. Here we are, current state in recap. Just kidding, he says nothing. Yeah. Okay. You can't handle the truth. I like that she did like a few good men. So we go to the taglines.

We have Ramona's hers is if you if people can't handle the truth, it's really not like problem. And then Leuan thought I had a good before but I was just getting started. I'm about to get arrested. The next five years you're going to see me get butt-fucked by a pirate in a greenhouse. Divorced. Everything taken from me. I make eggs all up from a sez.

Then my children are going to sue me. Just you wait, world. Just you wait, world. Just you wait. Ss. Ha ha ha ha. You know other people's misery. I mean, it really should just be a juice that you could buy. I mean, it is delicious.

Ss. Jill, hers is like, good up yet. I know who I am and I own it. Ss. I don't think. I think I'm being a positive, Max. I was like, I was too negative. So you say a Jill thing, I'm just going to be like, bless her heart.

Bless her heart. Bless her heart. Look how hard I'm holding onto the T-dos. Yeah. And then Alex is like, I've always had opinions, but now people know it. Everyone's like, did someone say something? So I hear some words.

I know the camera just like drips off of her. This is what I thought was hilarious, because then comes Kelly Benzumon. Now, wow. So I feel like that is a boo towards our mental health care system in this country. You guys don't take it personally, Ms. Monson. You please stop systematically bullying her right now so we can not reel.

It's not real. It's not real. You're not being real right now. Not real. OK, so you know how when these credits, they always do this thing, and they always have their kids or a dog or something in the background. So Kelly has two beautiful children,

and they show up in the background, and then Kelly goes, I'm living the American dream, one mistake at a time. I'm like, they're right there. Sorry, Ronnie. I have a taste for luxury and luxury has a taste for me. I was like, you shit your pants. That's all anybody is ever going to think ever again, okay? So you could win an Oscar and we're all gonna be like, she shit her pants and bragged about it on TV. I then like the camera starts to fade to black

and suddenly Cindy's like, no, no, I'm still here. I have everything I ever wanted and it's all on my terms. Mike, that's great. Why are you here then? For example, those babies in hairdryers behind me. I had everything except for five hangers. And they were all on my own terms. I have to say, though, Sonya's line,

I have a taste for luxury and luxury as it is for me. That is quietly one of the best lines of all time. Like, to this day, if someone says I have a taste for luxury, you're always going to say, and luxury as it is for me. That is quietly one of her best lines of all time. Like to this day if someone says I have a taste for luxury, you're always gonna say and luxury as it is for me, right? Or I guess it's just me. Like it literally makes no sense to me. Like luxury has a taste for you. What does that mean? She got eaten by a Cartier diamond. Bubble baths trying like sink her in them. They're like I have a taste for you.

trying like sink her in them. They're like I've a taste for you. Get in here. Bubble pants. That's luxurious. I don't know. It's really ruined always in your wallet. Am I right, girls? Let's face it, it's time for commercial break. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

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Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Browneuler, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego

in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Um, so then we started the house in Maraka. Now we've just done the Ramona under the strobe like. Yeah, like Ramona being electrocuted on that bed in Morocco. She was. And then Jill comes that. It was ugly. It was ugly. I didn't cry. I didn't cry. And now the floodgates look. I'm crying. I'm crying.

I'm crying. I'm crying. It's crying. It's crying. It'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm shaking, I'm shaking. And she says something that no one has ever said since this time. She goes, we're Cindy. We're Cindy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh. Oh. And Luan's like, well, how would she feel? I mean, and Jerry, oh, Luan, somebody says you're a hurricane. Who is a hurricane?

Joe goes, all I said is you're like a hurricane. And you came and you destroyed the place. And then she ended it. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to talk about it. Every hurricane talks. She doesn't talk. Well, how would you feel? Well, if I was a hurricane, I mean, I feel bad, you know, I feel like I'm blowing wind everywhere. I'm knocking trees. No, Ramona. How would Ramona feel? She's a hurricane. I'm crying. Do you see me crying? Do you see my tears? Like I got tears. I got tears.

So then Luan, Luan then gets now Luan is incensed because this was a season of Luan getting incensed over everything, but now she's really incensed. She goes, Ramona, she thinks things just fall out of her mouth and it's okay. It's not okay. It's not. It's not. It is not okay. She's got this blue patch, you know, that she's like, okay.

And then so, this is always why I loved Kelly, because she makes entrances into every fight just like this. She kind of leans back and she's struggling like, this has nothing to do with me. That's weird. I have nothing to say about this. Cindy goes, it's not worth it. Like, thanks Cindy. Thanks for your contribution to the scene.

Yeah, Cindy's ready to go to Studio 54. Everyone else is dressed in Morocco, and Cindy's dressed in like little shaved, bud-like cans, you know? So I can't let that, it's not thanks. She's like, you don't need this. And she's like, it will be a rotten day in hell before I kiss that woman's ass.

That's the strength I get from you, Kelly. Thank you so much, Kelly, for all the strength you've given me, Kelly, for all the strength. I'm like, who's ever said that to Kelly? And you will ever say that again to Kelly. Well, a lot of people running down the middle of Fifth Avenue have gotten a lot of strength from Kelly. She's been in inspiration.

So Jill's like, no one will ever treat me again that way, ever, ever, ever. And the man's like, and I will not allow it. Like, Luanne's like the steward of Jill's Aaron. Like, she's just gonna be your bodyguard. And she is the whole rest of the episode. And it's hilarious to me. So this is my favorite shade of Ramona,

the baby cry Ramona, where she's talking like she's totally innocent, because you know her ass is guilty whenever she does that. Like she's so obvious whenever she's guilty, because she does this baby talk. She's like, oh my god, hey, my god, okay. I was just going to tell her how I felt. Hey, boop bo talk,aka-taka. Hey?

Just didn't go. Man, I don't really want to talk about it. I'm really upset. I wish I never brought this subject. I wish I never brought it because I'm really okay. I mean, lean right into you, Alex, and you'll see how I get. I'm so sad.

I'm so sad. I'm shaking. I don't know these things anymore. At least I have a good marriage. I will stand up for you because no one has ever So sad, so sad. I'm shaking. I don't know. I don't know these things anymore. At least I have a good marriage. I will stand up for you, because no one has ever spoken Alex, you know?

Alex is one of those people. They're just locked. It's like Kimmy Schmidt. You know how she's just locked in a basement for whatever. And this, that's kind of Alex. It's like no one remembers Alex is there until they need something. It's like, did we pick up Alex? No, I don't see her. I'm right here, guys. Nope. Oh, we have a flat tire. Alex is there until they need something. It's like, did we pick up Alex?

No, I don't see her. I'm right here, guys. Oh, we have a flat tire. Alex, there you are. Could you get out and grab me? Meanwhile, Cindy's the coffee on top of the car. That's just like fell off. Where's Cindy?

Is that her pick on the road? Meanwhile, so Ramona sitting there acting like she herself just drove her car off her cliff. And the wind just walks in and is like, Ramona, there acting like she herself just drove her car off her cliff and Luana just walks in and is like Ramona, why are you causing problems? Would you give us a minute? Would you give us a minute? We need a minute. We need a minute. We need a minute. You're choking me. You're choking me out.

Luana just like waiting to scream at her and Alex has the audacity to tell Countess Lwann while she still had her title. Can you please get a glass of Pinocchio please go get a glass of Pinocchio! And Lwann's so mad she's like oh god it Pinocchio right away I'm just your servant your regular Countess servant with a title. So I could you do that in the kitchen? Could you please do that Pino Grisha in the kitchen, though, actually?

No. I think we need to do it right here in this room. Right here in the... Here we are opening a bottle of Pino Grisha. She's going to start a hack. She's going to attack me. I need to be sheltered from the pain. No, what I want in. I can't. Med I need to be sheltered from what I want in.

I can't. Medellicant husk. Please, the other round, please. Please, the other round. I feel a move. I can't do that. I can't do that. Get away.

Get away. You don't do close to me. If I hear the sound of a quark, I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry at a quark. Don't pop the quark. Meanwhile, Alex tells us... It's the most passive aggressive bartending we've ever seen. I'm surprised that she knew how to really open the bottle of wine

with a regular corksuit, because I was expecting it to be one of those, like, with the wings, you know the one with the wings that your mom has? But now it's like a restaurant one. She's like, knife, knife, knife, with the wings, you know the one with the wings that your mom has? But no, it's like a restaurant one. She's like, knife, knife, knife, knife. Foil, foil, foil, foil, foil, foil, crumple. Oh, he's switching the thing. Oh, how's our little angel feeling?

Is she ready for a piano grigio? And Alex tells us, I couldn't believe how the one was reprimanding Ramona, how insensitive she was being. I want her out of the room. Could you leave the room? No. Is it OK? Someone goes get her out of here, get her out of here.

And so Luan's like, fine, I'll leave. And she goes, this is the last thing I wanted to happen. I'm like, you're on a trip with Ramona Singer. It's like the first thing that's gonna happen, actually. And then, of course, Alex makes it some weird thing again. She goes, Uh, Lewis acting like she's in an arena watching the Christians getting eaten by lions. More like waiting for a cabaretist star, 3-2-1.

She needs her Pinot Grisio, and she needs it now. Give me a butterfly, open, I'll give you a leaf now. So Ramona is like fake tearing and baby voice. She's like, wow, wow, wow, wow. Just say, I open my dealings, and I guess you didn't want to hear my dealings, okay? And I felt, I thought it doesn't mean that this is the way it happened. Just mean that this is the way, oh I perceive it.

Like, say you're lying, you're lying is what you're saying. All I felt was that the wind doesn't support other women. Yeah. Yeah. Her dog gets run over randomly. So she's like, I guess she thought I was being codecly aggressive. I wish I didn't do it. I just wish she didn't do it.

Wish she didn't do it. I just wish I didn't do it. Wish I didn't do it. So Kelly comes in again, like, and then this time, it's been so tense in there when Kelly walks in, they'll go, hi, Kelly. And Kelly's like, look, I appreciate the diversion. Well, because they start talking to her, they start talking to Kelly as if she's like a little kid who like just walked in on her parents' fighting.

So they're like, what do you think about that? This is how she walks in. You wearing your poo-chee. Everything's fine. Mommy's just, she's hot right now. She's okay. She's okay.

Do you want a satchel of gold? Do you want a satchel of gold? Do you want a satchel of gold? Jelly beans? Do you want some jelly beans? It's like, look, I appreciate the diversion, but I'm not taking sides of this because there are no sides. I'm going to go, oh my god, Kelly, thank you. There are no sides.

There are no sides. There are no sides, Kelly. Thank you, Kelly. Thank you. I'm going to just went down the matrix. She's sides, Kelly. Thank you, Kelly. Thank you. Mona just went down the matrix. She's like, whoa. I see it all. I just see code.

Kelly is made of code. She's standing upside down. She's like, that one of those. Whoa, I know kung fu. So Ramona literally says there are no sides. One, two, three, four, five two three four five six seven eight nine times They're on those sides. They're on those sides. They're on those sides The ono sides are ono sides. They're ono sides. They're ono sides. They're ono sides. Don't know side

Like can someone smack Ramona oh, sorry, I don't approve of the violinist, but hit Ramona She's like it's like a dollar machine. It's something I stuck. You know, the only way to get it out is just to... Well, it was a big trauma. Side's a very traumatic to me, because it reminds me of this one time. It was a little girl.

I went. I went to nursery school, and I was like, what's a triangle? What's a square? And everyone said, stop talking about things that have sides. And I said, I like sides. And Joe Jim Post has said, you know what, little girl? You don't deserve to know about shapes. And to this day, I don't know what a shape is. Sorry, sorry.

But that's the way it is. Okay. Okay. Makes no sense. Makes no sense. It does not make any sense. I know. The neither does Ramona. That's why I'm so good, you know. sense. I know. The need it does remote it. That's why I'm so good, you know. What time? When I was a little girl, we played the squares with the new pegs. Then I met this girl and they pegged high school and I came home and I said, square, peg is a square, and then Gerald Dean threw a duck at my head and said, don't ever talk about it again. One time. One time was watching Hollywood squares and someone got it right and they said circle gets the square and I was like, Squares, and someone got it, right?

And they said, circle gets the square. And I was like, how does the circle get a square? How does that happen? Still confused to this day, okay? That's why I can never watch Hollywood Squares get. And to this day, I still haven't met Shadow Stevens, okay? Oh God, bless your heart, RIP, he's dead, right? No, he's alive.

Only his career. But I feel like if you're named a shadow, people are always gonna just assume you're dead, you know? It's like here's my friend, ghost Ben. Okay, so night on the town, it's a van, and it's a van, as it always is, you know? And this is where Sonia's like, I've made reservations that La Kuatra

The place for belly dancing Did you did you notice that like Kelly was like wearing some sort of like Nobel Peace Prize around her neck? Yes She was wearing like a big gold medallion It's like I won this for not taking sides. Don't be weird. Don't be weird. Don't be weird. It's not authentic metal.

So Sonia, they get this round table. And Sonia's like, this is called the maybe start table because people can see you, but they can't come close to you. Whoa, is this like the center square in Hollywood squares? I'm just gonna make Hollywood square. I've joked the rest of the night. I'm sorry, everyone. So these guys are waving and Lou Ann's like, Sonya darling, I think someone's waving at you.

And it's these guys, you know, it's like five, five feet tall guys like, Eeeh! They're just like guys of any city of any country do when women walk in with their own table, you know that? Hey, bloops! And she's like, well, they're five and we're seven. Dems good odds. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Sonius is always on some happy little train. Yeah, she's happy. I'm just going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say,

I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say,

I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, but she wants to stand on a chair to watch the belly dancers, and Lwanda's getting so bad. She's like, Jill, we're not tourists. We're not tourists. I'm like, you have a camera crew around you. 12 cameras. Yeah, they're like, that is very touristy.

So then Ramona's like, oh my God, that's me. I wanna learn that. I wanna learn that. I wanna learn it. And wanna learn that. I wanna learn it. And then she gets up and starts. Well Alex gets up and Alex is like, well what people don't realize is that the real Alex

is the first person to get up and dance on a table. It was like watching a pair of scissors dance. We have all seen Charlie Brown, right? She's dancing like in Charlie Brown, she's like. But then, her monotus starts spelling dancing. Oh yeah, technically this happens like at that little thing at the end, but we could do it now. She has a point. She goes like this. Whoa. I do want to point out that that's just like a modified version of the way my dad dances, which is like this. And mine is just a modern day version of like a fat guy, one of those 50s exercise machines that just shakes your fat.

We're like, no one lost weight, but God damn, there was a lot of twitching after that. Oh, feels good to learn. Ramona, Jesus. Sit down. No, dance forever. I want you to remember. I want you to remember. I want you to remember.

Okay, so now it's the next day, and they decide to wedge a little bit of culture into this episode. Some of the women go on a tour of a palace, and they meet with a guy named Mustafa, who is their tour guide. And Jill is hilarious because Jill is basically my mom at this part of it. You guys like, welcome to the palace. What do you say? What do you say?

I don't know what it is. What is it, Kale? What do they do? How often they make a house? How tall is that? How many stories would you say that? Because there's no stories. Four kinds of things like this. Four stories for it to be the white house.

Okay, now, is there any famous artists in the white house? That's crazy. I really think of them on the white house. Did the Jews come through here a lot? Were there a synagogue? Did there a Jewish quarter in the palace? How does this work? Do you have a press?

Do you hear that? There's a Jewish tile. What's the name of the marble? What color is this? What's the name of the marble? This is red. Is there reason why they chose red? Is there another color that they could have done? Isn't is red. Is there a reason why they chose red?

Is there another color that they could have done? Isn't this great? Is there another color that they're doing? Everybody having fun? My daughter is rallying. Look how much we're learning. And they're like, you know, you'll come to New York. And he's like, we can have four wives at a time.

Binky, binky. You know, it's like, really? Four wives? Who would want that? Seriously? Who would want that? What shape of those tiles? Tell me. Tell me.

I don't know. It seems a little iffy for me. My family members here can relate. So that's all I'm saying. Right, cousin Melissa? Oh. Oh. Oh.

Anyway, so now we're back at the soup. Yay, Melissa. Did I skip over anything that you want? I'm just reading these notes like, what is this show? Really? I take Selvin, I'm like, look at me reading it like it's a book. I'm like, I could tell. I could tell he was like getting lost in it like, oh my god, this is our career. I mean, I'm sober, and I was sober when I watched this.

So that's why I'm confused. I'm like, so they start talking, oh I'm going slowly but surely ladies. So since this the wives talk everybody's loving this because he explains that they can have a few wives but that there is 30 root, how many, I'm trying to remember the math here because there were a certain number of rooms and then she was like, oh that's because you got four wives but then every other day of the day, you have three that you could do every day of the week. So the Monday you have this woman, then you have that. I mean, seriously, like, who's got that much energy, you soo-go?

And Cindy's basically looking like, I've got a Hello Kitty fajazzled on my dick. So I'm into it, you know? Because that was her thing. The jazzling, that was her storyline. She really was actually like a pioneer on Bravo, because we never saw a vaginal adjuvenation till Cindy Bar Shop came along. You know, so she really thank you Cindy.

Remember when she was like, you might not get to have vagina, but dazzled and everyone was like, no. No, we don't. Okay, it's like one time they said no to a story, a vagina story on the real housewives of anywhere. Yeah. You're like, no, absolutely not. Because it's like Cindy's face and it's like one time they said no to a story, a vagina story on the real housewives of anywhere. Yeah, like no Absolutely not because it's like Cindy's face and it's like you know, she just got a glue gun No, since her standing there with like a hobby lobby glue gun. Oh my god

For what time the size of the White House okay Balcony at the, Alex and Ramona. So Ramona really is acting like Ramona. Alex is acting like Ramona has been run over, robbed. Being. Ramona is like, what? What?

What? Like she's fine. And Alex is like, how are you doing? Ramona is like, how are you doing? Whoa, I just remember, I have to be sad for Alex. Okay. Um, so I've been doing a lot of thinking to myself about things that you think about, and I've been thinking that my relationship with Jill might be a sham unlike my marriage,

okay? And it's really hurting me much more than I thought it would. It's like, whoa, like someone served me a drink and a glass that didn't have a stem that hurts. It's only one lime. Her voice was phrasing, the my voice was phrasing, and then it triggered me. And I realized we might not resolve it today. We might not resolve it tomorrow. We might not resolve it next week. We might not resolve it in two weeks. We might not resolve it in four months.

Maybe it's not going to be resolved in a year. Alex is just like, can I get you something? Are we going to go through the whole lunar fucking calendar Ramona? Get to the point. When's the next beep here? Won't be then either. So then she's like, I'm sick of this. lunar fucking calendar Ramona, get to the point. When's the next beep here? Won't be then either.

So then she's like, I'm sick of this. I'm sick, really sick. I have Alex in court. I have a very soft side, but you don't always notice, because I'm such a bitch to all of you guys all the time. And I like how Alex puts it. She's like, you know what? Because you have this side of you that's, hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Exploding all the time. I'm vulnerable. I am vulnerable. I was it down. Yes, I get to find a rose.

Thank you very much, Alex McCourt. So then we still don't know what this fight's about. Yeah, by the way. And they're not repeating. They're just both saying how sick they are over it. But at this point, see here's Alex. She's so sweet. She doesn't realize that she is totally being used in some crazy game between Ramona and Luan.

Like, the fact that Alex thinks that she needs to verbalize anything to anyone with these two women is hilarious, because Luan and Ramona are forces of nature. There's a reason why they're icons to us. And so watching Alex get drawn into this web is the most hilarious thing, because she starts getting so mad. She starts getting so worked up about Luanan and she's like, you know what, the win is fake, okay? She's nice to you one moment and she'll stab you when you're good and I'm going to say

something to her. Well, I hope she sees you Harvey because that's the only reason you're ever going to get a line out. Uh-huh. Now there's a movie for old people here called Harvey and everyone thought this guy was crazy because he's the only person who could see the rabbit. A movie for old people here called Harvey. And everyone thought this guy was crazy because he's the only person who could see the rabbit. Like, you could really only see the rabbit

if you're paying attention to it, you know? That's why Alex just keeps disappearing, you know? I mean, someone to fight with the wind. Oh my God, two Alex. I actually really liked Alex a lot, believe it or not. I thought she, well, I mean, she was crazy, but she was sweet, and I liked her. I just felt or not. I thought she, well, I mean, she was crazy, but she was sweet, and I liked her. I just felt for Alex.

Like, remember when she would tell romantic stories? There she is. That literally terrifying. Johanah's. Johanah's. You know that's one of my biggest nightmares in life. It's like Brandy Redmond walking down the aisle with the baseball bat, you know?

Oh my God, I'm buzzing. What's it gonna say? Oh, Alex is romantic stories, okay. Remember when she was like, Oh, giving birth was so romantic. Simon jerked off with the fluid that came out. I was like, what? Do you remember?

Yes. Simon jerked off with the placenta sack out. I was like, what? Do you remember? Yes. I'm in jerked off with the placenta sack and came all over her as she gave birth. I'm not making this up, okay. Yeah, this is like, I wouldn't make that up. I didn't even know what it was. I was like, what's the placenta sack? I'm looking it up online.

That's not fun. I thought it was a type of bag. I think you could get it at like, macy's. So I was like a new kind of Ziploc. Yeah, what children are carried in? Yeah. We don't know. Someone said, could you please repeat that?

It's what children are carried in. placenta's. God. Sex ed wasn't great in Texas. I feel like, so at this part, you know, so now Alex is in consoling Ramona who's still crying and be like, just like listening, you're doing so good for me. Thank you so much, you know. Thank you for listening to me and loving me for the right reasons.

Hey, what are the right reasons for talking about? I felt like, so then we switch over and what's your face? Kelly, Luanne, and Cindy are getting some Hanna done. And I don't know about you guys, but I felt like when this scene started, like, some red curtains just opened up. And like, a conductor started playing like an overture. I was like, oh, it's time to take my seat.

Here comes the show. Look, I just shifted my chair. I was like, I will move my tummy over this belt loop. Okay. So Luan's like, this is Hannah. And Kelly's like, yeah, Hannah, it's not weird. It is like the Moroccan version of a manicure. I'm like, no, it's not. So Luan's sitting there, pontificating it.

You fucking kidding? No, it's not. Who lets Kelly describe things? So Luan there, pontificating it. You're fucking kidding me? No, it's not. Who lets Kelly describe things? So Lewand's just pontificating. She's sitting there, she's like, well, ladies, there's always a point in one's life where you decide you want to get a tattoo. Not I'm saying. What is that? Is that a buffalo coming down the stairs?

Is that a herd of buffaloes? The man, the man. What? Is that something wrong? I want to talk to you Okay It's you when just you Alright Just you and Luehann. By all means, speak.

That's literally she's so mad. And then, as Stephen, and Kelly's going, what are you doing, Alex? So well then, well then Alex turns to walk away and Luehann goes, is she trying to interrupt our henna session? I mean, what's the matter with her? God forbid, anyone interrupts Hannah. So she says, Alex, Alex, Alex, come back here.

Come back here, Alex. And Cindy's like, Alex, Alex. Like, thanks for your thanks for your help. Thanks for your help. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. So now it's like, Alex, what's wrong? So then, here comes Alex. Alex. So that's like Alex what's wrong so then here comes Alex Alex

Papa chair, Papa chair By all means the chair if you sit in the chair they'll disappear will be alone Yes, you will be all alone in the chair. I'll just be you and me. It'll be a safe place for you Alex. I swear to God And then for once we all agree with Kelly, because Kelly's like, what the fuck? But you can't just act like that, it's weird. You can't just come in, like, to start acting like, like, what are you acting? Like, you're being weird, gotta be authentic.

Okay, reenter. Reenter, reenter. Reenter. She's just giving, she's giving like Bravo executive notes on the fly. Try it again. Try it again. Try it again. Can we just spin the top?

Come on. It looks weird. It looks weird. And Alex is like, no, no. And it looks weird, Alex. Doesn't look normal. Not normal, Alex. Sometimes Alex is like a Lexa.

She's very like. She's always buying things from me off the internet, playing music for me, giving me incorrect directions, lowering my lights. What could you possibly have to say to me that you can't say in front of the other women? And Alex is like, oh, do you want me to go there, Louanne? Do you? Do you?

And he's like, you're so weird. This weird, it's just not authentic. You can't be like that. Don't want to be like that. So Louanne, by the way, it's clear. I think we all saw Louanne could smell blood in the water. You could see the way her, she was sort of just like, a little smile.

She's like, Alex, Alex, calm down your weird little face, okay? Go! Sir, sit right here, tell me. I can't wait to hear it. It'll be totally okay. Ramona knows you, Ramona knows you're gonna pull her aside and she feels very vulnerable. That's your fight. So then Luangas, well, do you know why I want to pull it aside? No, because it's not your business, Alex, and I'll stay out of your business. You said them on and I'll stay out of yours. Well, now I'm going to tell you something. Now I'm going to you to tell you. Stay in your business, and not in my business. Okay, I appreciate it. Thank you very much. You can go now. She full on just dismisses her from the fight that she was supposed to be listening to how

dare you attack me during Hannah Hannah Hannah which I believe it girls she attacked me during Anna so then we get then it turns into Kelly and Alex which is so good. Well, close, it starts. Yeah. Because she goes, That's not normal people act. Be authentic,

Joanne Face, Joanne Face, and Alex is like, you don't get to police how I feel, Kelly, she's like, it's in authentic! Hey, weird! You're having an inauthentic moment.

You're being weird. You're being weird. You're being weird. You're being weird. Be honest. Thank you for telling me that. Thank you for telling me that, Kelly. Because that's how Alex deals with Kelly you for telling me that. Thank you for telling me that, Kelly. Because that's how Alex deals with Kelly. She's always like, thank you for telling me that, Kelly.

But... You're just crazy weird, Alex. So Alex is like, the man. Ramona, it's so vulnerable last night. This is vulnerable. And you were a reprimanding her. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha. You're a reprimanding her. You're changing sides. In every moment, you're reprimanding. Wait, name one time. I'll just go ahead and get you. I'm not sure I can hear you. Strange narrow cactus face. Come on, closer. So then at one point, Luan just does what some women are just so good at doing, which is

doing a mean girl laugh. At one point, the Alice is like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and you're like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and she's like, you're so mean to her, and Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I will not stand here. I'm enjoying myself with guests. Go back to the cabinet you came out of. Which, which. I'm in. And Alex goes. And then Cindy, she turns the camera and is like,

you're being odd. I mean, you have true feelings, that's not, hey, express some Alex. You don't come like staring down at people. It's weird. You're not asking me. Ask me if I could conduct this. It's not their moment. But it's not their moment. Do that.

It's not the right moment. There was no build up. That's not good storytelling. Okay, act one, act two, act three. You went from act one, act three. It's called in awe. No, no, no. Listen, come back to us when your script has been a few revisions.

OK, no, no, no, no build up. This is a trip of a lifetime. People don't take trips like this. So instead of creating a casino. A lifetime. She said that. She goes, instead of creating a casino like this, you know, create the calm, create the calm.

Where are you creating Casinos, Alex? Do you even have a gaming license, Alex? It's just bad storytelling, okay, Patonga? Yeah. I already think it. Do you even have your insurance license? No. No.

I mean, what does Kelly see in her mind? Like, does she just sing a bunch of sloppings? She's there. She's there, Casino. Like, I really think Kelly sees like a roulette wheel. That she's like, oh, what mean, what does Kelly see in her mind? Like, does she just sing a bunch of sloppies? She's there. She's there. She's there. I really think Kelly sees like a roulette wheel. That she's like, oh, what's gonna play that? I could only imagine if she was maybe coming up with a slang

for saying, scene, like you're making a scene, but she goes like a scene, no. She's making a casino. I don't know, I rewinded it to make sure. And that was damn sure what she said. So then Kelly, Kelly now is just going crazy, right? Because she's wound up. So she's like, she's craving a casino.

And she's not saying this to anybody. She's just walking around the circles going, shh. The technician is like trying not to laugh, honestly. She's like, tattoo is ruined now. He's gonna fix his Santa Claus. He's gonna fix this Santa Claus. He's gonna fix it. I think she gets really mad at what Alex is wearing, which is great. She goes,

you come storming down and you're fucking up with an Afghan scarf for no reason. Like she's so mad at that Afghan scarf. And then Cindy's like, poor Alex. She can't articulate herself. It was a real disaster. It was a disaster. It was a disaster.

It was a disaster. I wish I could just cradle her and put her somewhere safe like a closet but someone took my hangers. So then Sonyan Ramona are having their like, hi, Jinx, Sonyan Ramona. Yeah, Ramona is clearly so distraught about what Luann's saying there.

Well, Alex is fighting this battle for Ramona. He's like, whoa, let's find some kift hands. Yeah. And Cindy's like, well, supposedly, they got us beautiful kift hands to wear about. We don't get to see them till later. So. And Ramona's like, that sneak round, We got us beautiful cast hands to wear about. We don't get to see them till later. And Ramona's like, that sneak round.

Queue the crazy Ramona clown music. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's go round that house. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Whoa. And it's just them sneaking around. And they find the gay who's hiding. I mean, as you have to do over there. So then, so we see a minute of the cast hands. Like hiding under the cast hands. who's hiding, I mean, as you have to do over there. So then, so we see like a minute of hiding under the castans. He's like, ladies.

So then it cuts back to Kelly and Alex. And we just heard Kelly go, and I'm pissed, because you're ruined my tattoo. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I ruined your tattoo. It's like, no, you're not, you're weird. No one wants to ain't help people who are weird. You're weird. I don't not want to hang out with you,

but you ruined my tattoo. And I was like, I'm sorry about your tattoo. I'm sorry. And then Kelly, after now, speaking for like five minutes, but you ruined my tattoo, Kelly goes, it's not about the tattoo. And then Kelly, after now speaking for like five minutes, but you ruin my tattoo, Kelly goes, it's not about the tattoo. It's about the whole thing.

Okay. That's right. And then the house goes, no, it was about the tattoo. And I'm sorry. You know, you know who really needs you right now? Ramona, not my tattoo. Weird, weird. And Alex says something that I think we've all wanted to do

for a long tant. Tantios. What the hell are you talking about, Kelly? Ha, ha, ha. She's like, I was running after Ramona, and then I'm running after you, and I felt bad today, and I was trying to get them back together in Kelly Goss. Shh. Shh. Cover your shoulders, your America. With your ridiculous effort. You're gonna let me finish if you don't talk loud?

Okay. Can I finish now? Okay. Okay. Close your eyes. Okay. Okay. I'm going to say what I want to, right? Open your eyes. Okay. I'm trying to say. Close your eyes. Okay. I'm trying to say close rise Okay, trying to say Ramona was close your eyes again. Oh

Kelly out just testing you oh Kelly Hi, I'm trying open one eye and close the other one Trying to say Ramona hand over your left eye Put your other hand on your hip No, you're being weird. Oh, Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. We'll see you tomorrow. I would like to thank Kelly Benzeman for paving the way for Kelly from Real Housewives of Orange County.

Yeah. At least vocally, because I'm like, wow, it's nice to have Kelly in one of these recap. Well, they say the same thing. You're weird. You're bitch. You're a thing. You're weird! You're bitch! You're a dork! You're a dork! You're a dork!

You're a dork! You're mean! You're mean! You're mean! Support Alex never gets to really say what she's saying, because Kelly is just so Kelly. Closer eyes. Open your eyes. Closer eyes.

Ssshhh. Weird. Weird. An Alex, literally goes, I'll make you a deal. I'll close my eyes. But then I want to talk when my eyes are closed. She's like, no, close your eyes and talk after. LAUGHTER

I was angry. Yeah, but you don't need to be angry, Alex. You don't need to be angry. And you're not angry. You're sad. You're sad. No, I'm not. I'm angry.

Nope. You're sad. You're sad. You're sad. You're sad about not being angry. not. I'm angry. Nope. You're sad. You're sad. You're sad about not being angry because you're not angry. Yeah. Tell me you're not angry. You're happy now.

You're happy. You're trying to create calm and chaotic situation. Okay. Sometimes you can't eat the house. I'm so sorry. I'd like to put $20 on black please. Alex. You're not gonna get me to. Meanwhile Ramona is like Ramona high jing's, Ramona is hopping through the sand

and she's like, don't wanna get shoes, dirt! Oh, hey, no, dirt, hey! I wanna put on my keftan, you know what's supposed to be a surprise, but I wanna make sure I look pretty, because I've had a bad day, okay? So you had a bad day, be still married to Mario, you know what, it looks like your best friend, it was bad day, hey that's a pretty good day, huh? She talked herself out of her own song. So of course Ramona goes in there and tries on every single dress and you can promote a sweat all over it. Yeah And then chooses the Kermit one which I think it just had Jill written on it, you know

I think it was just set aside for Jill so she chooses it and the poor gay guy goes back to hiding under the yeah You didn't see me, ladies, huh? So then we go back to Kelly and Alex, we're still somehow talking. And in the middle of it, out of nowhere comes Jill Zaren, where they're craziest, like 1988, she has a 1984 pern. Just look what they did to my hair. Do I look like a poodle? My name is Phoebe.

You don't want to pat me, huh? Do I look like a poodle? Look at that. It's so curly. I have to do my hair because of the stick. Here's what happened here. We're in Morocco and they don't got mirrors here. So this guy has got like a tight curler and I keep saying like, should I look at the mirror

and he's like, no, but so then he does this. And I looked at it and then look, like a curly hair. It's like curly hair. Look what I got. It's like curly. You see what I mean? Do you like it? Or is it just, it's too curly, right?

Jill's just on her own planet. She's like, she's in her own storyline. She thinks this is going to be like the A-story for the entire episode. So I got my hair done. So yeah. And Alex is like, well, I exploded. I told those girls off to...

Alex? Yeah. Jill is like trying not to crack up. Because you remember Jill hates Alex. Because after all, it was Jill that Alex said, you are a mean girl. And while you're being a mean girl, I am in Brooklyn. And she's like, I was just trying to tell them that Ramona was upset, and then Kelly comes in behind her, and she goes,

she's trying to create calm and chaos. Yeah. Alex says, it came from a place of righteous anger, and Kelly goes, it came from a place of sadness. She's not angry. She's sad. I'm leaving. It's not angry, she's sad, I'm leaving. She's sad.

So then Ramona and Alex. So Alex is so excited to tell them. Meanwhile, they've stolen clothes and probably got in some poor gate. I stoned it up in the street or whatever. Ramona and Sonia are having a good time at this point. Alex goes upstairs to see them and everyone's like, Oh, Alex, you want to come to our room? Oh my god. I just said our room isn't that hilarious? I mean I think I think Ramona's funny, but I would have to say that she's no king of snorkehsum!

Buh! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Sorry, I had to like wish I wanted to make sure for those people actually listening in their cars at home that there's at least one wreck during this episode So Alex is like well now Lou Amnos loud and clear. I don't approve of the dish Tellies and Ramona is like oh my god Alex you did that in front of all those people And Ramona is like, oh my God, Alex, you did that in front of all those people. When Alex came into my room with those red highs, I knew she did something stupid. What a stupid girl she is. She's dumb. She's a dumb girl. So now they're going to go to dinner.

Now this is a part of the episode that I love. Back to me if I'm wrong. Yes. Where I was like, this was the best episode ever. I can't I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love. That I love.-loo plus, because I'm wealthy. Uh-huh. And it was like 56 minutes. I was like, what? This dinner scene is one of my favorite scenes in the history of the Real Housewives. Woo!

I mean, who does not love when someone's late to a dinner on the Real Housewives? It's always great, but when it happens in a foreign country, it just is like a whole another level. So, we see this table, the table's set for the entire cast. We kelly's there, Cindy's there, Jill's there, Louens there, and then there's like three salad plates that are like unattended to, and we know there's gonna be drama.

It's never a good sign when Lou Ann is at the head of the table. Yes. Oh, shit. She like has a... There wasn't even a throne, but in my memory, she's like sitting in a giant throne. Oh, I'm in this throne. So Lou Ann's like, well, girls, here's the latest goss.

I just went into the kitchen, and they told the staff that they want their food in their rooms, which you believe it in their rooms. Wait, you're talking about this, and you're just telling me to get fucked in here. Like, what's the big deal? I'm just like, no. They said their rooms.

In their room. Well, I told them, you tell them that I'm telling them, we're having dinner down here. At eight. And they wanted in their rooms listen we had plans for dinner and if they didn't want to eat with us that's fine it makes them incredible bitches but it's fine but they just have to tell me that's the proper thing to do after all aren't I the most open person you could come to

I'm just a proper thing to do. After all, aren't I the most open person you could come to? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Then Kelly's like, I'm disappointed in Alex. She's unpredictable. Weird. With that Afghan scarf. I think she's rewriting her scenes. It was so dark.

It made me think of Dracula the way she acted. It was appalling, it made me think of Dracula the way she acted. Ha ha ha ha! It was appalling, like Dracula. She's called Alex a Buffalo and Dracula this episode. What is she, us? So... We're sitting there having our Hannah tattoos! Our Hannah! And she tries to ruin it.

Ruin it. For something petty petty some petty crap But I'm not in to petty unless we're talking about Tom petty on free Free following oh my god. Why is there a camel trying to break down the door? Uh-oh Is that an ostrich on here? So then Alex comes down, right? And Alex is like, hi! She's like terrified.

She has no, she used to post the yellow. No one is programmed to Alex yet. So she's like, hello! Alex, what a lovely red scarf. You've got, oh I'm sorry, those are your hides. Sorry. Sorry to point that out. Must be terribly awkward for you. God has put a new pattern on your turkey neck. I'm sorry, those are your beans. Like, oh no. They're going to eat Alex.

Well, of course we started half an hour ago. We didn't think you were coming. What with your anger at the, and Alex is like, I was emailing. I was on my AOL account. Well, unfortunately, the kitchen is closed. But we're going to make it work for you. Because that's just who I am, a great hostess.

Who makes things work for you, even after you're ruined. A perfectly lovely henna session. So Alex is like, well, all I really need is this pre-wrap salad. And she tells us, Luan thinks people read her mind. Apparently, she planned dinner at 8. No one knew that. No one. So Luan's like, well, Alex, would you

care for a glass of wine? Have some wine. Alex is like, yes, yes I would. And then the wangles like this. Like, oh, this bitch wants wine now. I don't really mean it. Oh. And Alex is like, I apologize.

I didn't know when dinner was because no one told me. And the man's like, well, it's forgiven. Let's just have a nice dinner. And remember, we've been educated. You know what, Alex? I know you better than that. So I don't know what's going on with you. Who's been in your ridiculous ear? But you know if you're not coming to dinner and I've organized this beautiful dinner and you should let me know that because you have an education. And as we all know, educated people know when dinner is.

I didn't know when dinner was. Well, much like this glass, it was crystal. I'm done. You started this with me, girlfriend. Would you like to come? Would you like to come? My loving Luan gets all streaken. Yeah.

Beautiful. And then Luan does one of another signature thing of hers, which is a passive aggressive apology, which is, all right, fine, apology accepted. Now, let's have a nice dinner, U-Barbarian. So then Alex is not feeling comfortable. So she starts to pick up her little salad. She's like, I'm going to go back to my room.

And Luan's like, Alex, I'm not the one who started this. You did. So if you wanna start with me, you have to finish. Sh. And Alex's like, no. And then Kelly chases her and she's like, you're being weird, you're being weird. Alex, excuse yourself.

Oh, Alex, go out of the way. Go out of the way. She's going to go out of the way. Sh. Excuse yourself. You're excused. You're excused. Hey, has gone everybody and Alex is standing on the other door like, can I make Kelly?

She's listening. I wish I could see what was going on right now. Could I have a fork? Can I open my eyes? Can I get a fork? Is there a fork? No? OK, I'll put on the ground and eat it like a pig.

OK. Suddenly, I was like, oh, just rude. And then Cindy goes, what just happened? I've never seen women act this way. What the f**k is this reality? Is this real? What's what? What are these women?

What's happening? I like that even Cindy can't even say, really? Is this reality? It's like, even made really boring. So then Ramona comes in, and the best Ramona way ever say, Hi! Hello! What's Fattina? Wearing 10, you know, wearing 10 caftans that she's stolen from the gay room. At Luans face, Luans face, like it's been made into a million gifts at this point, she's like,

you said dinner in your room, which is why we sent wine. Which is so good, it's such good shade from Luans. Your late dinner is done. A remote is like, no darling. That's not how it is, darling. We have snacks, darling. K, fancy, darling. Guess why we have snacks? Because the hostess didn't remember to get a snack.

And so I said, we have snacks, darling. And they said, OK, they brought a snack. Hey, we got a snack that's identical to your dinner. I'm sorry, but just that's the way it is. And who can just start speaking in French? These birds, I don't even think of this French. She's like, who's it? Who's it?

Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? Who's it?

Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? Who's it? I got seven plates of snacks for every single person because the hostess didn't get seven snacks so I had seven snacks at 5 p.m. on a train going 25 miles per hour meaning another train and Buffalo going 30 miles per hour and in the end how many stacks do I have and how fast do they going? 5 I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you.

I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you.

I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you. I don't just order. Morocco's like, what the fuck?

Morocco is getting like the worst reputation for customer service ever. This whole episode is like a trip advisor rating of half a star from Morocco. So then, Ramona disappears and she comes back with this giant stack of plates To prove it and only to like she's proving a point right but they're all wrapped in saran wrap and they're all full plates This means Ramona didn't give one to anybody. It's the only people who ate them were her and Sonia Look seven plates and this one has fish on it for Bethany. Oh, she's not here anymore. Sorry Oh, she's not here anymore, sorry. Oh, whoops, I forgot that Bethany is a lurchic to fish. Whoops.

So then Ramona brings in the plates and like slams him down and sending us, oh fuck this, like she get out. She just runs out of the room. She just had an idea where her hangers are. She's like, oh my god. She had like a house MD moment. Dermona's like, why is she insulting me? Kelly's like, why? Can't you just walk in? Why do you have to make a thunderstorm?

You are a thunderstorm, I swear. Why do you have to make a no-bum pen? Why do you make a Obama pan right now? Ramona, could you do me a favor? Quiz rise. No! Kelly, what? What?

Ramona's like, I actually am physically incapable of doing that. Close my eyes, every other word. How many more times can I close my eyes? In the sense, Koi. Had a stressful day, okay? I don't want to listen what you say,. She can tell me go say I'm sorry Sorry, I'm sorry that that whatever. I'm not gonna do it Kelly's like Right you're right Hurricane. Her nostril close nostril. I'm like okay. I'm gonna do it

So Ramona goes and finds Luanne. She's like whoa the wind I'm so sorry that you're so stupid that you misunderstood the weight. Oh, okay. Okay, Ramona. I mean, it's a weight of how do you not understand what he says? How could you not understand what the word snack is, the wind? Okay, Ramona. Well, I just want you to know you keep saying you're sorry, my feelings are hurt. My feelings are not hurt.

All right. Now, you can have snacks if you want to that's not the point Ramona. It's not the point. I'll say it again I'm sorry that the words did not get into your pumpkin head It was just a snack in the waiter boy to you who made her the raw friot So all right every now all Riyadh, sorry. Oh, because R.A. is like the son got, I guess. I have an education as well. But later on! So, all I did is I had a snack.

And then the way I was like, listen, I'm cool. Snacks are fun. When you're with me, you can do whatever you want. That's my new song. When you're with me, you can do whatever you want. That's my new song. When you're with me, you can do whatever you want. You can have a snack as long as I say so. I don't have a problem with snacks. For example, your husband is probably having one right now.

And that's fine. OK. I'm just saying he's probably having some skinny girl popcorn. That's all which I invented I was just trying to be nice Ramona when that card reader said my marriage is great my marriage is great my Man just It's great. It's great. Why why oh? It's great. It's great. Bye. Why? Oh, there's no joy here. Okay. Okay, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right about everything.

You're right. You're right. You're so good. I also liked when she's like, so what time was dinner tonight supposed to be? And I was like, eight o'clock. And she's like, oh, well, okay, well, it's 9.30 now. It's a little late. Okay. Okay, I guess I'm a little late. So Luann is so funny. She's like, I didn't want to yell at you about being late for dinner. I wanted to talk about your husband

having an afero national television. Come on, Ramona. So Ramona, everybody has to pack to get going. And Cindy is like, thank you so much for bringing me on my first amazing trip. This was such an amazing trip. It's the first time I've ever been anywhere. It was amazing. Whoa. The last trip I went on was to Ciosit. So, so Ramon's like, why are you staring into my closet? I did not take your hangars to me Well, I had to ask so Luann makes up. She's like oh I

Feel like I was just hit by a donkey car carrying two sheep or is that like to call Alex So then Kelly is like hi, I'm gonna go for a run and Jules like well, you know what, it's a marathon. It's a marathon morning. It's gonna be a marathon day. I'm gonna go have a marathon tour. I'm like, oh my God, stop saying marathon. It's a trigger word for us.

You know what I gotta do? You know it's my hair's curly, right? It's crazy, isn't it? Cause like I was talking to this guy and then like I touched my hair and this career is like a poodle, right? Like a poodle area. Like a poodle, not even a cute little one. So you go run, it's a marathon, not a straight one. There you and they say it's like a brutal right a little airy Yes, like not even a kid run it's a marathon on a

Packings like a marathon. I got a go over to Ramona. Okay. I'm gonna be the suit. I'm sure she's real I How it is Baton material would you say this bathing suit? Like down the down the path. Just running. She's somewhere really talking to her son.

We're actually now turning into Jill, yeah. I know, yeah. When did you start? So Jill and Ramona are going to have some private time to talk about their big fight. And Ramona's like, whoa, I'm feeling so raw. I'm raw. I'm raw.

I am raw. OK. I mean, I know that's how Mario liked it. But I'm raw. I'm raw. I'm raw. I am raw. OK. I mean, I know that's how Mario likes it, but I'm raw right now. Right. Right. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. And it comes from me caring, or too hard on each other. What petty in the corner, you know? What Bobby taught me about marriage and relationships and really driving even. Like even if you're just walking across the street,

really, it just comes from like caring, you know? Because like you get emotional when you care. You know what I mean when you're driving and then you're like, fuck you, you realize I really probably would really like that woman if I gave her a chance, you know? You know, yeah. Friendships are like a book, you know? And like, Friendship is a girl's book.

And like, they're good chapters and they're bad chapters, and as it turns out, every chapter you're in is a terrible chapter. So I'm gonna be shelving in you to even king, basically, is what's happening. I feel like I'm reading to my like, my mom's love, adventure, and you're a clown hiding in a fucking sewer.

It's basically what I'm saying, Ramona, okay. You ever read a textbook? That's what the chapter's like with you. Just a textbook. So the Ramona does her standard thing. Her standard like catch all, let's finish this argument. She goes, you know what? I'm not perfect.

You're not perfect. You're not perfect. At the end of the day. At the end of the day. At the end of the day, be wrong. Okay? It's Bethany's fault. So.

So they promise that they're gonna forgive each other It's Bethany's fault. So... So they promise that they're gonna forgive each other and everything's gonna be great. And we know that that's bullshit because the season, the reunion of the season was fucking depressing man. I was, this is, that's when I was like, I'm done with that show. I will not, unless they recast half of this cast. And then they did and I was like, oh my god, God listens to me. I know, I know. So now the women go off to a cooking class, and they show up at this kitchen, and a remote goes and goes, oh, wow.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's another. Whoa, look how many snacks we can make here. Whoa. It's a Tessine, awesome, awesome, it's a cum. Like every time she says anything, it's like the wrong way, you know. She's like awesome, like, I'm right. Ya-habi-bee, right?

Now by the way, I hope you guys noticed there was a place outside there called Habibi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like put this in there, put that in there, chop this, whatever. But he's, you know, he has an accent. And so, I was just like, what is he saying? What is he, so it's a cut. Am I supposed to use this knife to stab Lou Ann? Should I do that? Okay, stab Lou Ann. He's throwing the stab Lou Ann.

And then Jill, after, okay. He's talking about my friend, right? He's really crazy. We was making chicken. He was like, is her hair curly? Please, crazy. I changed the whole trip. So they cook and then they go, what else do they do? Well, Cindy's like, I don't. That's the first time that's ever happened in the history of pop culture. I go, Cindy's like, and someone goes, yes! Cindy goes,

I don't cook. I don't even want to cook. I don't cook. I don't even want to cook. I don't even need a point. They need it for 30 seconds. I don't even like food. What's food? What's the point? Put in your mouth, you chew it up, comes out like poop.

It's disgusting. Why don't you do that on your mouth? Gross. Stupid. But jasling though. Sick. So then Alexling though. Sick. So then Alex is talking to Cindy and it's like, how are you feeling? How are things going with you in Sonya? And she's like, yeah, no, as Sonya and I talked, everything's fine.

You know, sometimes like, you know, if I'm feeling uncomfortable, I get a little quiet, everything else. I was like, oh, thank God, because I thought you were like, I'm Cindy, I'm angry all the time. I'm a fucking bitch. Everyone hates me. I'm the worst person ever It's like Cindy with like Thanks

So they all they all sit down and then Luan always good for like a passive-gressive moment They're all sitting there. Everyone's happy. And I was like, so, so nearita, you think you can make this in your toaster oven? I don't know where. Sun you, Sanctus. But smaller. Well, I don't know. I mean, not to ask pickles.

Toaster number three is on the fritz. We sent it off to Santropay for fixing. We're going to put a big deer on it. OK, I'm nearing the end of my notes here. OK. I have Sonia going, Cindy, Cindy. And then Cindy goes, the camel. OK, so it's nighttime.

Now it's like, as the show's winding up winding down It's like nighttime they're getting ready to go out to dinner and everything and they're gonna get put on their surprise caftans and everything and so remote they're gonna get like they're getting their makeup done They're gonna get some sort of like Moroccan inspired makeup. So Ramona goes to stylish. Whoa Okay, I believe want nice big eye because this evening, as you know, we are wearing these beautiful Native American, Native American, Maricom-Muriel Mombasa, Merv-Mur-Mur-Mur-Berl, Mubel.

We're wearing nacho hats. We're wearing matricana. So what we're gonna do, okay? Viva Mahiko-Co. Yeah. So she wants, and she's like, here's how you gotta put on eyes, okay? Take this pencil and then do this. Then do it like this again. Then down here do it this, but make it go down. And somebody's like, yes, what she's trying to say is,

she needs the pencils to go down like this. You know what we mean, right? Because it's really local Egyptian culture. You can't. Like that. Just why wouldn't you know it? You've been doing this your whole life, am I right? She's like, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it's really local Egyptian culture. You came. Like that.

Yeah. Just why wouldn't you know it? You've been doing this your whole life, am I right? She's like, I'm an accountant and I'm doing this on the side, for a friend. And then she, so yeah, then Ramona goes, yeah, this is the Egyptian look, you know, a rock and makeup. I'm like, the Egyptian look, rock and makeup. There's two different countries on different sides.

So they all show up with these Egyptian eyes to dinner and I was like, yes, only this show. All of the women had them. They're like, so then. This has been fun, girls, hasn't it? Then we get this really priceless little nugget out of nowhere. We're like, Morocco, Morocco, Morocco.

Hey, let's see what the guys are doing back in New York City, right? So Mario, Mario is there playing pool with Simon. Simon's like, and Mario has like this buddy, he has his buddy named Adam, who's like, it's like if this is Greece, Adam's like that guy's like, ehh! So what do you do to some of Mario?

He's like, Mario, one of the girls back, huh? They're like, hey, Mario, look at that girl over there. That chick's one of the hottest pool stars ever. She's like the most respected pool star of all time, buddy, huh? And Mario's like, oh, yeah? No, you're the girl. I am. Oh, okay. And Mary is like, oh yeah? So this guy Adam he goes so Mario so

One of the girls coming back? America's hopefully never. So he takes that picture on this girl, who by the way came to be on TV, not to get your lame ass dig rubbed up against her, sir. Simon goes, Simon goes, I'm gonna take a twit pick, but I'm gonna take a twit pick of this to see into Ramona. Yeah, he's like, yeah, send it to Ramona on a phone of phone. On a telephone, oh, what a send it to it.

Let's see what you think. He goes, like, oh. Email it to Dubai. And Simon's like, well, they're actually in Morocco. And he goes, oh, well, whatever. That's different. That's all Egyptian makeup, right? Mario, what a disgusting motherfucker that guy is.

God. Yes. Team Ramona. Disgusting, I mean. So now they finally sit down to do this. I'm on that now. Look, that's not how this should have ended. I was having such a fun night.

No, uh. It's a, hey. So now that women all show up at dinner at this restaurant, I was having such a fun night. No. It's like, hey. So now that women all show up at dinner at this restaurant, and the women are like, Saundya, Saundya. This is fabulous. And they're all in their captains.

Captains look amazing. And they're like, Kelly, your breasts look so beautiful tonight, Kelly. Your breasts look amazing. They look like they're almost touching right now. They're beautiful. All right, ladies. What's your favorite thing about Marrakesh? So they start going around the table and she'll say the house. Did you count the tires in that house? I counted 19,272. Does anybody want to argue with me? I want to write it in the book. You know, they don't have a Wikipedia for this place yet.

I'm gonna write the entry. So Yeah, the best thing I just remembered this part. She's like, all right, I wanna know what everyone's favorite part is. You go first Cindy and Cindy, like a mouthful of food. She's like, oh. Oh.

Speak up Cindy, can't hear you. Oh, were you eating your chickpeas? Welcome back to you. For Cindy, man, I remember thinking before I watch this, like Cindy really got a raw deal, and she probably would have been really funny if we had just given her a chance. And then I saw this and I was like, oh no. That's true. No.

This was her time to shine, and she did not do it. It was funny just watching fail after fail after fail. It was Cindy. Kelly's favorite moment. She's like, my moment was like, I was like just jogging in the middle of nowhere and a random woman came up to me and just said, someday. And I was like, hmm.

I think she was like, sanitation, be careful. She's just like running through like shit. It's probably the seaword in that language. She's probably walking that, running down the middle of the street. Someone probably was like honking their donkey. Like, burr, burr, something. She's like, that was touching. She's like, close your eyes.

So Luanne's like, all right, let's toast to something I hope to have someday. Harmony. They all toast to harmony. And we shall toast to harmony because this was was an amazing amazing episode. It really was And we are so glad that you guys came out here and were able to be here with us while we re-recapt it We love coming to New York So thank you so much obviously for coming out.

We wanna say thank you to a couple of people. Go eat at the restaurant. Dofriscos, so our friend is here. Dofriscos. Also, I don't know if you guys have heard of Gaspincho Jones. Gaspacho Jones. No, Gaspincho Jones, because he makes pins. Gaspincho Jones.

Gaspincho Jones. You've probably seen them on the internet. They're these enamel pins of the housewives. I have Kim Richards right now. Yeah. He's so my gosh. Yeah. He is fabulous.

You can find him on Instagram, Insta at Gospacho Jones. And then also, be sure to get our magnetic poetry. Crap is magnetic poetry, so you can put it on your fridge. And then all sorts of, that's a lean. That's run, it won't run. It will be downstairs. She's got crap in poetry and Geraldine pins for you. Oh, Geraldine. Oh, she's gonna be Downstairs follow her also this these little dragons I've been throwing out all night or my little niece cadence makes these and They say you're kind to pass it on as she gave me a huge back so I could take them to every show uncle and I figured you know

Lord knows I spread enough negativity, so I know I know Thanks to cadence for maybe saving me one day everybody. Thank you so much for calling. This is amazing. Loathing Bad, Yeah Bad, Yeah Bad, Every day is a pervert, don't keep it trying to change. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey

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