Watch What Crappens - RHONY: In-Townouse Counsel

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

The Real Housewives of New York are back, and while Dorinda may be gone (sad), we now have Eboni (yay!). We recap the premiere episode LIIIIIVE at our virtual show, but first we start by talking about The Big Shot with Bethenny. Plus, we announce the results of our Most Underrated RHONY cast member countdown. After the show, we hold a 45 minute Q&A. In order to see that, be sure to grab a ticket for the live show replay, which will be available until 5/13/21 here: https://onlocationlive.com/watchwhatcrappens Here are some helpful timestamps: The Big Shot: 04:24 Top 10 underrated RHONY Players: 22:23 RHONY recap: 32:55Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's what happens

Who's what happens Who's what happens Watch what happens Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who's what happens Who's what happens Who cares what happens Kids one happy it's my best so I'll be happy Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa He'll browse okay. We're so excited to be at this very special live show on the internet Yes, this is so exciting. This is our first live show since the crappies It's you know, it's a whole new season. There's so much going on. We have real housewives of New York is back

Yes, yes, thank you. Yes, give it up for that audience Wow, we have such oh, they they stop so quickly though It's I know I don't I don't have my finger on the fade up fade down button for that audience. Wow, we have such, oh, they stop so quickly though. It's amazing. I don't have my finger on the fade up, fade down button, but you know what? That's the thing I miss the most that Corona has stolen from us is a live audience.

So I'll just play this shit. I'll play this all by myself in my house. I'll get up in the morning and be like, that's it. That's it. It's a mitzvah. It's a mitzvah to get's a mitzvah to get up. Anyway, so welcome to the show. We are so excited. Ronnie, do you have any special beverage that you'll be partaking in for this live show?

Well, I sure do. I'd like to show you what I have on my desk. Let's see. Two empty pellagrinos. I've got Jason's deli water. Okay. I've got Jason's's Delhi filled with coffee. Nice. A very special. It was a long day here. Can you can you tell guys? And I have a very special gift from the lovely people of Summer House, a love of boys, spritz, darling. This episode of Watch What Happens has not been sponsored by another boy. Feel free to send a check, but they have sent us this lovely drink Lover Boy.

You know what? You can't spell Lover Boy without love and guess what? I love that. I love that. I have some Vita de Cah. And I'm gonna have myself a Vita de Cah, a Magarrina. I love that. Guys, this Lover Boyritz has been kissed with basil Okay, wait a second really I literally put basil into my margarita. I'm not even joking I'm so my god and a character on Bethany with the DJ at art basil. So there you go It's my guys all basil look a bit anybody betting on basil time to bet on some basil. Okay, there's your sign Cheers, I mean a basil margarita. It's pretty good actually. How about that? I'm sweating a little bit

That's lovely Yeah, I just took are you saying that it's lovely that I'm sweating or lovely? But that was a good bitchy response to you sweating as well. This is lovely. This is the sliver boy, which is not sweating. Wow, well that's great. And this feat of tequila is lovely. This is just a great, great night for Bravo spirits. Am I right? Where are you sweating Ben?

Did you start feeling guilty that your pelotons are killing children all over the country? Is that why? Did you? Man, that was, that news was like a warm blanket to me to find out that peloton was killing people. I was like, ha ha. the Peloton's a murderer. Woo!

The biggest bait and switch that we've had. No, I'm just sweating because I did that thing where I took a shower before this, and then now I'm hot for my showers, and I'm sweating. I feel so betrayed when I sweat for my shower. I feel like it's the most wrong thing that could ever happen. It's almost as much of a betrayal

as a Peloton killing you. No, I'm just used to being hot. I feel like it's the most wrong thing that could ever happen. It's almost as much of a betrayal as a Peloton killing you. No, I'm just used to being hot. I'm like this every day. Oh, okay. Okay, so we've got a very special show today. We've had quite a time this week, guys. Lots happened in the world, but really nobody gives a shit about that

because we're the crap and show, okay? Those pictures that none of that is actually really happening in the world. Instead, let's concentrate on more important things like Bethany Frankl getting another chance to make some money God, I'm glad that woman found another way to make some money man. I am so glad by the way Ronnie I don't know if you saw my message But did you see the message about making sure to record your thing on on your end just to make sure I just started

Three-minute flight. So how do you get that? No, I'm sure we, I just want for redundancy and this is crap in, so we don't mind, we don't mind showing how the sausage is made because it turns out it's a very uninteresting sausage. It is. You have just ordered a sausage and it's, you've been in your sausage. Grass, grass.

It's a hot dog. It's not even a sausage. It's a bad hot dog. It's a store-bought hot dog. It's a store-bought hot dog. It's a store-bought hot dog. God damn. Okay, so the big shot with Bethany Frankel. Oh my god.

Oh my god. All right, all right, all right. Guess what? I have a business. I got brands. I don't know if you heard about this. I got brands. And I need to find a VP of operations.

I can't do it all. I can't do it all. I can't. Yeah, so this show, Bethany, this Bethany show, it's on HBO Max, which you know what? get HBO. You know everything can't be Game of Thrones Okay, but this is like literally Game of Bones. It's that sack of bones Bethany That's sack of bones coming on and just making everyone feel like shit and I have to say love it. I absolutely love it I read the reviews before I think it's a monster.

I read the reviews before I watched it, which are like, Beth, you know, there are all these highfalutin reviews, which why the fuck are you watching this anyway? It's an apprentice ripoff on cable. Like, what did you think it was gonna be? Okay? Like Nicole Kidman's wig ain't in this.

What are you judging this so hard for? Thank you, Ronnie. Thank you for setting it straight. You know, it's exactly what we needed. So the thing that's funny about it is that she seems to take it very seriously, but the premise makes barely any sense. Okay, she spends, you know, basically both episodes reiterating over and over again that this is a global brand.

Okay, I got 25 different brands. I got 25 different categories. This is brand. This is this is a global brand. Okay, I got 25 different brands. I got 25 different categories. This is brand, this is brand, this is brand, this is brand. So she needs to find a VP of operations, which as far as I can tell, that's like an executive, that's a VP, that's a high level job. And so she's, so here are the applicants.

DJ Rose, Nicole Rose, who once appeared on Summer House and played Art Basel as a DJ. Another guy who needs to be told what a deliverable is. I mean it's just like the most ridiculous thing, but it's so good. The cast is a bus stop. I mean it really is. It's a bus stop of people. You're like who are these people? Where did they come from? Okay, so first, Bethany looks amazing. I mean she really is bringing Anorexia back. I was like, I'm getting on that. Because that is.

Oh my God. Just literally, she's kneecaps and shoulder bones, and that's like literally, and then you know her face. But that's literally all that she has on her. That's in shoulder bones. She's in her shoulder bones. Joint first. She's very, she's in his pelvis.

She's joint bones. Like that's literally all this left of her. And she walks around in clothes really built to confuse you. I mean, there's patterns, but they're not like gale from top chef patterns, like just ugly, like, bruises, watches. They're like, you know, squares. That's just confused. It's like a myth square.

Horse squares. Everything is, that's the best way I could say it. Like the fashion people were like, we want, here's what we envision, rectangles. Your body's gonna be shaped like a very harsh rectangle, your faces are rectangle, and everything you wear will be a rectangle remains. We want a shape that is inherently unstable, okay?

We want a shape that no one want to use as a foundation for a house, a square, okay? So we're gonna do that. And so the first episode, she basically, so she has all the candidates come up to her house and Greenwich, she's like, okay, this is my house, okay, this is an investment property. It's my house, I never slept in it before. I never slept in it before. It's like, okay, this is my house. Okay, this is an investment property. It's my house.

I never slept there before. I never slept there before. It's like, okay, Bethany, fine. Ed's so, she's like, we're gonna have a cocktail party. Okay, and then they're not gonna know. Then I'm spying on them. They're not gonna know. I'm like, really, there's a million cameras right there.

I think they'll have some sense that you're gonna show up. And also, while they're mixing and minkling, she's up there in the bedroom with the blinds. Like Mrs. Havisham will be like, hi, why are they doing that? Hi, hi, hi. I'm sure someone saw you. Yeah, and she's not even hiding at the beginning.

She's looking at them all over the balcony, like Beth Vida. Like, hi, hi. Like judging them really harshly from above, you know. So I just have to read this opening, because at first, you know, we knew we were gonna talk about this on the live show And so we're not gonna do a full recap obviously because we have re-hosts in New York and everything else So I knew it was gonna be quick

But I still it's like the second Bethany comes on I start typing really fast because I'm nervous like she's Yeah, let me do this wrong But just Bethany notes how they go this is this is how my notes start for Bethany before I forced myself to put the fucking iPad down to walk away Okay, hi Bethany. I'm a mom, you know What's fuck now? What what what lighting guy? What would you have to do something? What it's fucking anarchy in here? All right, you know what sound anybody else got to do anything in here mother fucker. Okay, I'm mother in Finland I'm a mother. I'm a philanthropantress press on a HPIC and clown okay and I bring close to a hundred million dollars a year and a skeleton crew running a massive

business I also like sequin jumpsuit and shapes on my dresses you know what I need a good cop I need a bad cop you know what have some vision represent me basically be me you know I narrowed it down up from a thousand applications to a few I make the party go boom okay this is gonna be the toughest job interview these people will ever face this is is not the show friends Okay, you know what? I can eat people they can go I can fire everybody You know what I can do whatever I want and then we see a girl go you look like a boss and she goes I am a boss I was like wow It is so intense I'm terrified and we any by the way you know that was improvised that's like you know she wakes up She's like you know she wakes up she's like

Okay, guess what I'm a boss all right. I've got 50 brands. I got I've got three applicants coming around here Okay, I don't want to hear that you want to try something I want you to do something. I guess time is valuable Okay, all right, where's my coffee? What's my coffee? Okay, what times it seven or one sorry Been a minute since I've been awake and where my whizz my portfolio? She really is and for someone who works this hard so the first challenge is she has everybody like Alright, you know what I got brands. Alright, so you're gonna go outside You're gonna look at my brands and then you're gonna do like a social thing because you know what my kill is he a list social Okay, I hate it. It's like you hate social Since when you're on fucking Instagram every thought you you you Instagram your dogs dying. Yes

Well, maybe she's right. Maybe she's mad at social. Because if you've ever seen her social, this is what her social looks like. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah. You might let it all out. I let it all out. She always has the camera right up to her face. It's always there. And it's like, whoa.

Like, you ever come across it. It's like the equivalent of a pop-up ad of a human Actually before they get into the challenge though, so they're mixing mingling There's a whole bunch of candidates and so she's spying from above and she has her assistant and also her her Gay go down there and mix and mingle oh my god Barry her gay. Oh so funny Barry. Don't I call him Gary? I don't know what his name. I said Barry. I don't know if his name is Barry. I think his name is Barry. Yeah, Barry. I think his name is you. I think his name is you. I said, Hey, you. You. Yeah, go down. Yes. Thank you. Hey, hey, you.

Hey, you. Thank you. If I know what's what you is, what's you? They're all making fun of him. They're making fun of him because he showed up like Easter. You know, and it's like pink sweater and they're like, wow, stupid sweater, Barry, wow. What? What great stupid sweater, all right? And he's like, what, it's so me. He's like the stupid Barry.

Okay, it's all right, Barry, go down there and your stupid sweater and pretend to be one of these stupid people, okay? And then she has this assistant who's probably 18 years old and you know the resting bitch face. They have like resting bitch face. But this girl has just like resting someone farted in my face face like somebody just sat on my face and they farted She walks down there and she's like this

She has resting. I've had to pretend to enjoy too many skinny girl products face Yes, and for someone he talks about their brand so much Why does everything look like it's out of the dollar store? It all looks like it's taped together in like terrible packaging. It's all like that stuff when you're at the checkout for TJ Maxx. And there's just all those impulse buys, there's sort of weird things like change chocolates and stuff. That's what it all sort of looks like. So they all mix and mingle, she has her eyes and ears and everything. She got to report back so she goes downstairs and it must be, I don't know, it's like winter winter. It's cold and you know production hates her because they don't even give her a heat lamp

So she's sitting there and she's like Okay, okay, I have to let me For if you guys so she's chivering and so she one guy who I actually think is I was like okay We're gonna be stuck with the sky all season You love love me. He's guy. Oh my god Yeah, she's we get a Lebanese guy, so I should like love this guy, right? But he's like, hi, and he talks like that,

because he's got just like a big, talking mouth. And he's like, I'm Lebanese. And here's what I'm into. Branding. I love. This is like gonna be a fit. This is like gonna be a fit. So she just gets rid of him, which I was actually

very happy about. I was like, okay. I didn't expect him. She didn't like him, because Barry didn't like him, because Barry's the gay. And so he was like, oh hell no, there's no young gay coming in

to take my bad sweater job, okay? No, that is true. So then there's this big guy who seems so sweet. And his whole thing is that he works at companies to help them have like better practices and diversity. Diversity, and all that. What does that mean? to help them have like better practices and diversity. Diversity, all that.

What does that mean? And he goes, well, you know, to like help them with diversity. So what do you do? Well, you know, I talked to them about being more sensitive and she's like, just go fat person with a key around you now. Okay. You're fat, it's called skinny girl. I mean, what else do you do now?

You're already off-brand, okay? Like, you're a boy and you're fat. It's not called fat boys, it's called skinny girl. Who like kingdom and meek around? Who let him around? Get him out. But the best, so then there's this girl named Anne, who is a publicist, and she just sort of gives a spiel.

She's like, so I work with brands and we help monetize them or something like that. She's like, ha! Well, we sit down, down. Well, we know we will sit down and talk. How? Well, we'll just like I'll come up with a shooting plane. But how? How? She's like really barking how in her five minutes. I'm watching a woman yell how on TV for five minutes right? How? How? This woman's like four of women is not doing anything wrong. She's like, well, I set up a vet How well, you know, whatever they need what do you mean? Well, if they have you know if they if they have an event in the woods

I bring them to the woods. Oh, really? Okay, you know what you're gone get out Yeah, you know what I can tell it's not a fit. It's not a fit So then and then the last person then there's another woman who has a sock business and she is probably- Oh God, that's a girl. I'm sorry, but like, I know that people need socks and I know that it's a huge business right now and I'm not trying to diss sock makers, but seriously, you're too proud of socks, okay?

So like, this girl was way too proud of socks. Stop it. She was going up to everyone like, oh hi, I have a Sock company. They're fashion socks. They're not fun socks. They're fashion socks. I'm about to be like, what's a fashion sock? What's a fashion sock?

What's a fashion sock? Huh? Is that just a sock? What the fuck? Hey, so if you join me, okay, would you give up your sock business? Cuz I hate it. She's like, well, I would love to be able to do both. And she goes, ah, it's not gonna happen.

That's not gonna happen. Okay, you see that boy? Okay, follow him. Yeah, so she got rid of the sock girl. And then the most annoying girl is DJ Rose. She's like, I'm a DJ and I love doing shots. Oh my God, if anybody wanted to do a shot, we made some shots, Bethany, with your products.

And she goes, I really, my products, huh? You know, these are coffee serups. And they should say that on here. They should say, I was like, okay, so who I really, my products, huh? You know, these are coffee serups, and they should say that on here. They should say, I was like, okay, so who's bad at branding now, okay? You don't even put a coffee syrup on here. Yeah. So this will be DJ Nicole Rose.

I mean, she actually, when she has to actually pitch herself, she sort of comes together a little bit. She's like, well, I worked in PR for many years, and I realized I didn't like it. So I decided that I was going to give it all up to do a cameo on summer house and then go to artbozzle and now I have an Instagram that has 100,000 followers. Now her specialty is supposed to be social, but and I would love to have 100,000 followers. I don't have it. That's fine, but I feel like if someone's expertise is social, they should be above 100,000 followers. I don't have it. That's fine. But I feel like if someone's expertise is social, they should be above $100,000, right? 100,000 followers.

I mean, I don't know. I'm also not really wrong. Nicole Rose. This is my new operations. Nicole Rose. Yeah. I think that she may get followers just from that. It's actually kind of a smart move, you know, because you know, a lot of moms just go on Instagram and you type in your interest. So a lot of people are like, Raze, and then they just look at Rose A posts, you know, I've done it with ducks. So I'm sure that there are people who do it with Rose A. So maybe that's how she got the follower. It's like, you know, my name is Ronnie Comfortable Couch. Like, boom, I've got like a million followers now on Instagram. Wow. Okay. So we'll just maybe we should change our podcast name to watch what hot naked guys.

We should. So basically, you know, it's kind of an apprentice show, but it makes no sense who she keeps. She gets rid of four people right away, really for no reason. One person for being fat, one person for liking socks, and this other girl for not describing her job well enough. And I mean, it's just it's an aim. And then she keeps people. She keeps a girl who's like, Oh my God,

I can't be without my kids even being here. It's like I murdered them. I'm not as well. I'm just thankful about the death and trying to start it on my fire. I get it. Perfect. You'll never see your children again. I know. That woman is like the only competent, that's the only competent person of the group. That one. I think her name is Maloxy. So, um, yeah, the first challenge they just have to do is you got Maloxy kid. You got Maloxy. Yeah.

I like her too. The first challenge they have to do is a Maloxy. It's not? No, no, no. Maloxy was sitting next to her though. Oh, oh, I was talking about the, well, was, the one who has two children and she's like crying over the children. I don't, I've absolutely no fear.

Oh, it was the girlfriend Pasadena. Well, whatever. The one, the one who had the big booty, I hate to sort of whittle it down to that, but she had a big booty. And she hates Nicole Rose. Everyone hates Nicole Rose. Yeah, I mean, Nicole Rose is a monster of a human.

She's just one of those people. He's like, you know what I'm gonna, sell shall. And so Bethany keeps this idiot because she's like, I, socials my Achilles heel. It's like, this is not what you want for your social. This is not a rosé. Yeah. So then, so then, um, the first challenge, I just have to do like a 20 second, um, uh, little, like Instagram story for the brands and they're all terrible and she's like, you covered, you covered the wind, you covered the wind. What are you doing? You're putting a coffee pot into the oven? What is that? What do you how you do it?

So then she just she just like fire she gets rid of a girl Because she's like you know what all you did wish old people you just made a cup of coffee That's all you did. I'm like she showed you how to use your brain Every single person she's like he didn't show me how to use it He didn't show me how to use it He didn't show me how to use it and then this girl actually shows you how to use it because yeah, you're gone. Well, the one she seemed to like the most and I stopped watching this early all admitted not because I hated it but I hated myself while I was watching it if that makes any sense but

The girl that she seemed to love the most at least as much I saw, was the one who's like, oh my God, I have just lost 140 pounds on Bethany products. And she was wearing a Bethany brand, you know, outfits or whatever. Bethany brand. It's called Skinny Girl, Ronnie. Skinny Girl. Yes, Skinny Girl. But she didn't tell everybody she was wearing Skinny Girl and Bethany really liked that. She's like, oh, that girl's not trying too hard.

I was like, how is she not trying too hard? She's literally losing weight, doing Bethany products and showing up in your clothes. That's like the definition of trying to, but it worked, you know, and this girl's like, Bethany changed my life. So Bethany wants us both a fan and someone she can bully. So I'm thinking that girl and Rose A will go very far. Yeah, I think Meloxy's gonna go far.

I don't know, did you get a chance to see the second episode? Well, we could talk about the second episode on a, like next week. The second episode was hilarious. The first episode was funny. The second episode is hilarious. Bethany is Bethany times a hundred. She's absolutely ridiculous. I'll just give you a preview. Clearly, the producer said, we want every episode to be about, you know, an idea in business. So the second episode, it seems to be all about time and time management, which means that Bethany spends first half the episode,

like running around her office like this. She was just like, just arranging things. Like, okay, okay, I put a couch in the right place. Okay, that means it's that, okay. I'm a'm about to bitch and then she spends the rest episode saying time time time's a born you know I just this takes time my time is special time time your using my time my time like The show's exhausting man that girl is super impressed with herself for having a microwaveable popcorn I will tell I will give you that about Bethany I've never seen someone more excited about popping some popcorn

Lady microwave popcorn has been around, okay, but you know what Bethany No one believes in herself more than Bethany God bless her heart. She really gets out there It's like I'm the best. I'm the best and it works. You know delusion works Positive attitude. It's not work Delusion works, okay. Yeah, I just wanna amend that. I don't wanna say God bless her heart. I think probably the proper term

is God bless her chest cavity. I think that's what it is. Yeah. Commissions. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking

about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Okay, so first segment done.

Okay, Bethany. Bethany, stop. Oh, wow, thank you audience for cheering us on on that. That was wonderful. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. There you go. There you go.

So, before we get into the art, I'm like, before we get into Roni recap, all week long we have been doing a fun countdown of the most underrated real housewives or real housewives of New York players. We have two more spots for each of us. We're getting ready to write things down, but I need to get to the spots, okay? Get one of these 19 windows I have open. There is my handshaking porn that I had. Oh, okay, I'm here. Oh, you know what's funny? You know what's funny?

So I wrote my down on a little drier race board and my number one and my number two, I don't remember what they are and I smudged both of them. So I have to side which one's one and which one's two right now. I didn't write yours down, damn it. Okay, well I'll start then with number two.

How about that? Let, damn it. Okay, well I'll start then with number two. How about that? Let's do it. Okay, so my number two, who I think has already been mentioned by Ben, but I moved her way up on my list because I think she didn't get enough of a chance. And that's kind of what I'm going for with underrated. It's like people who didn't really get enough of a chance. Okay.

I'm like second chance Ronnie. You know, they're second chance Ronnie coming down the sidewalk. Okay, so I, I chose Barbara. Okay. Now I chose Barbara so high up because Barbara really was instrumental in calling Luan out in her like crazy, you know, bullshit. Her alcoholism bullshit and her cap array,

craziness bullshit. Like she stood by her the whole season. Then Luanne turned on her because she wasn't standing by her quite enough. She was like the first bisexual, well, not the first, but on this show. Well, maybe not on this show either. Actually, the first mayor of candidate, first mayor of candidate in your future. That's what I'm getting to.

This would have been perfect to keep her on because now she's running for mayor and she's just fucking loony tunes You know She's like put all the homeless people on Breaker's Island. Just do it. That's that's what I'm bringing to New York That's her platform literally. I'm like I need this on the show You know, this is something I could watch on the show. So I say give Barbara another chance Yeah, I mean, I think that build a blasio should just leave his wife and get with Barbara. And that way they just, they just, they don't have to run against each other.

They can run with each other. But more importantly, Barbara's name would then become Barbara de Blasio, which is like the most, that's the last name she deserves, de Blasio. De Blasio. Hello, this is Mayor de Blasio. The Blasio. Hello, this is Mayan de Blasio. Please be sure when you get out of your taxi cabs that you have all of your personal items with you. And this is Mayan de Blasio's wife, Barbara de Blasio.

When you get out of the cab, make sure you haven't left any lobsters behind for Ramona. Okay, who's your number two? My number two, I believe was on your list. I'm going with Kelly Benzimone. Kelly Benzimone has been the butt of our jokes for years and years and years, and she is pure loony tunes, but the truth is, she was the first person to go up against Bethany Franco. She was the first person to notice the like, you know, I'm up here, you're down here. That whole thing, that was at a time when we all loved Bethany and she saw it, she called

it out and she also, I mean, scary island. I don't even have to say anymore. She's a crazy person, but I think we often look at her as a crazy oddity, but actually, I think that she is underrated. She actually brought good stuff to the show. Yeah, you know, Kelly, I guess I didn't have Kelly too high up on my list only because I see her talked about so much, but that doesn't mean she's highly rated, you know, like, you know, what about your mother or whatever that

fucking show was on TV all the time? And it was? Yeah, yeah, I boned your mom one time, whatever the fuck that. And I forgot what I was going to say about that. What about your mother? Yeah, what about your mother? I like your version. What about your mother?

What about your mother? I mean, that was, you know, you heard it talked about a lot. And I guess it was highly rated, but it wasn't like, was it well respected. You know what? I don't know where I'm going with that. I think big I think my hatred is actually looking for Or yes dear. Well, you know big bang theory have to give credit to my and blonde lock or whether whatever blossom because that girl I mean look at her. She's just she just keeps on going. She's got her own sitcom again I mean the little girl who started tap dancing on beaches. I mean you go girl You're my number one underrated New York house. Well, I'm so my number one underrated real house

I was a New York player is my ambia like she's so underrated. She actually never appeared on it My so my okay now it's time for wait so before I do my number one I'm gonna go down my list. I'm just to teach everyone up. Okay, now it's time for wait, so before I do my number one I'm gonna go down my list I'm just to teach everyone up. Okay, and number 10. I had Cindy bar shop. I had Alex McCord Okay, for number nine. I had Elise Slein. I had Cindy bar shop Number eight. I had Jules Weinstein. I had Jules Weinstein as well. We tried on that one. Yep number seven I had Heather Thompson Number seven. I had Heather Thompson. Number seven, I had Kelly. Number six, I had Kristen Takeman.

I had a Lee Sling. Let me tell you about Kripto Curran's Seize. Number five, I had a Viva Dresher. I had Carol Radsaville. Number four, I had Gilles Aaron. Number four, I had Kristen Takarin. Number four, I had Kristen Ticman, PM Missy, the original POC on this show. Everyone take avenues the first P.O.C. Number three, we both had

Jinzy Mortimer with a dash of Dale. And number two, I just said, my number two was Kelly Benzumon, your number two, I just said my number two was Kelly Benzmone your number two You just said was Barbara. Yes, Kovovic. Yes, Kovovic. Kovovic. Kovovic 19. Okay, and now our number one She said that Kovovic 19 I'm running for office in 2019 And we'll have a button here probably cuz I love those cans opening here. So that isn't it Okay, What do I have a button here probably cuz I love those cans opening here? Here we go live Oh I do it with my hands cuz I'm a Texas bitch on the frame

Okay, number one. I have the incomparable Aviva drusher now. I know people are like you Aviva. I hate her. Well, who cares? Okay? I'm a care if you hate her. I hate her too. That's the point Aviva's the worst. She threw a leg at somebody You know, I love Aviva so much someone painted us in a Viva leg. It's hanging up in my house right now Every time someone comes over they go, wow, what's up with that? I'm like, that's a Viva She brought so much to the world. She went against everybody. She was the first person to tell us that Carol was full shit Never wrote a damn book in her life Which we all should have realized by reading her Twitter cuz Carol don't even know grammar

Which I said with bad grammar. I want it. Right. Yes. That's okay That's sort of irony that Carol could never could never grasp. Yes She told us about Carol everything she said. I think kind of turned out to be true She took us to the place where her her leg got stuck in the cow factory or wherever that was told us about Carol, everything she said, I think, kind of turned out to be true. She took us to the place where her leg got stuck in the cow factory or wherever that was. The farm. See, that whole trip of like, you should have had a banner. We already talked about that.

That was amazing. Her little wussy husband who I'm convinced she locks into the basement, you know, into like a dog crate every night. Um, also, Fran Drescher's brother also gets it upon his point. I mean, I feel like there was so much more there. Did she try to hard? Yes, but you know what? On some of these shows, I need some effort.

I need some effort to be made, you know, I will always choose the little chunky kid in the back tapping harder off rhythm than everybody else because at least they're making an effort. And yes, I am talking to you, child else, because at least they're making an effort. And yes, I am talking to you, child version of Ron and Karen. You're underrated. You know what, Aviva would have ranked higher for me.

I think if she had gone on her second cast trip, but she chose not to. And then in fact, the producers cut her out of the opening credits for like three weeks, which was pretty amazing. My number one, my number one, most underrated housewife of all time is a housewife who, when she gave birth her husband ejaculated on her stomach, it's Alex McCord. Now, I think I just made my case right there, right? Alex McCord, who you had on your list, I believe

at number 10, I think that she's underrated because she is a foundational member of the Rony Empire. She also, she loved in Brooklyn, which was, you know, a big, a big thing that still has never really been, you know, not even Leah herself, the most hip, the hipest real housewife of New York. She not even she loves in Brooklyn. Alex just did not fit in. She never fit in. She was always so strange and awkward and she just wanted to be so much, she just wanted to be so much more important than she was on the show. And remember the first episode where there was like feverishly, she and Simon feverishly looking over the New

York Times to see if they got mentioned. And then she just like lost her mind and spent an entire season just like screaming at people but at the wrong time so then everyone just got exasperated with her because she would come storming into a scene like I have something to say and I will not be a mess and drip you double parked and everyone's like Alex they blocked up the spot. Yes Maraka clump clump cl clump. You listen to me. How you are treating her, Luam, that you cannot do this.

First of all, you come down here and you're Herman Munster shoes. I mean, never forget, never forget. Never forget. So there it is. Those were our picks for the top 10 most underrated errone players. And if you're asking why wasn't Ray on there, like, Trash,

I think the reason why Ray is not on there for me is I feel like Ray is actually very well at peace. Very highly rated. Yeah, I think Ray is very highly rated. So guess what? We have to go through all of your stuff that you guys gave us. And also we need to let you vote on number one and number two spots. So we'll announce that next week on next week.

Yeah, we'll get, well, well, we'll get, well, the user, the people's choice, we'll do next week. Because also we have to talk about Roni. We've had enough of this pre-show crazy. It's time to get into the main event here, which is that real housewives of New York is back. And we, before we start, I just have to make a note to all the husbands out there

or the friends of people who are watching this Your dad your dad is not watching this is he is he texted me said I'm watching right now and you guys are doing a great job Love you buddy So my parents are not I can agree. Oh I just wanted to say to everybody who's out there We've just got through 35 minutes of the show, which means there will be about three hours left. So, if you have to pee, you might wanna stay there for a while, by now.

And it's gonna be a long one. It's gonna be a long one. One other thing, after we wrap up the recap, the pod, we're gonna be done with the podcast, but we're staying on here and we're gonna be doing some Q and A. And there's actually a question box. If you're here watching this live, there's a question box.

And you can submit your questions. And when we're done with Roni, we will do fun Q&A session as if we're at the learning ad X or something like that. So be sure to use that if you are watching a long live. Oh yeah, it says there. Don't forget to submit questions in the question box. Don't forget to pay attention. Please.

Okay, here we are. Don't put on. Don't put on. Don't put on. People. Sit it on. Sit it. People.

Don't put on. Stream. Nothing could go wrong. I remember when the real housewives of New York changed their theme song to this new one, where they had like the black background and all that. I remember thinking, don't like it, it's my housewives, you know, because that's how I react to everything at first. But God, I love that.

I just hear that again. It sounds like Kerry Underwood could sing that right. You know, it's something that broke up with me and yeah. No, no, no, no, no, you don't. I'm gonna scratch your car. Da, da, da, da, da. I like it. I was just very happy to have it back. Me too.

But before we got our theme song, first we saw shots of New York City full of life and activity as if nothing were wrong. And March, March 1, 2020, people everywhere. Chicago, starring Erica Jane, is on stage. Marthiracic! We gotta shut down this city. Erica Jane's on stage.

So October 2020, it's empty. All we can see is Bethany Frankel walking to her car to shoot her reality show. Bethany was the only one still walking around the city going, brams, brams, brams, brams, brams, brams, brams, brams, brams. All right, here's what I want to know about coronavirus. How do it get to be so viral? Okay, I need to have a brand advisor. You know what, Rose, get out of here.

Everyone, everyone, the fat guy with key around this neck, you're already fired, come back here so I can fire you again. You're fired again. All right, you know who I'm hiring for social, corona. I mean, if that pitch is good at social, all right, she's everywhere. She's just like trimming every day. So it's the city, it's coronavirus, the city's empty.

And the very first person that we see, surprisingly, we begin with Leah McSweeney walking into her boxing gym, throwing off her mask because you know who cares about coronavirus in the gym and says he throws off her mask and there's Martin the trainer. Okay. The first of all, we've got to start with the gripe. Now, the internet already hates Leah this year.

I don't know what it has been. Yeah, it's by the way, good luck Leah. Good luck with this year. I don't know how Leah made it through last year. I mean, if you guys have the internet, which I know you do, because you're on this show, watching it or listening to it or whatever, we all have the internet, you should have hated her last year.

This stuff was all out on the internet. The her most problematic stuff was last year. And she, everyone was like, we love her, she's great. But then this year, I don't even know what she's done that's so bad, but my god people hate her ass Yeah, yeah, I am predicting right now This is a godsend for Hannah burner because I think Leah McSweeney is it a come in and then it's just like It's all gonna go there. So she

I'm sure that I'm ready for her to be like she doesn't have the center apple or whatever But I don't know that I needed to start with Leah But I still like Leah because I don't know why everybody else or whatever, but I don't know that I needed to start with Leah, but I still like Leah, because I don't know why everybody else hates her. So like I still like her. So I'm waiting to see why I'm gonna hate her. So I'm like cautious, you know what I mean? I'm happy to see her, but then I'm like,

oh, this is gonna be a problem soon. So like I'm cautious. I'm hate ready, I'm open to it. But I also, I don't love hating on my Rony stars because I love Rony so much, but I also I don't love hating on my Rony stars because I love Rony so much But I also don't love starting the season in this boxing gym I have to admit the Martin the boxer. I haven't really ever Loved this guy. I don't really find him as funny as everyone else does

Although he did make me laugh here because you know she comes in and she's like Martin I haven't been able to work out for a month because of my surgery. And he goes, how did go? I was like, hey, the guy had to go. Whoa. And she pulls that like girl and she, I'm sorry, I've got two screens up. So I've got the live version of you on my left. And so it looks like you're doing, I'm like, why has been dancing right now?

I've got both sides of you. So yeah, he's like, how did it go? She goes, oh, you know, I can breathe so much better now. And he's like, Huh, yeah, and you don't got that big honk anymore either. Because she's trying to use that 13 year old girl in junior high. Like, um, I had a, you know, what did they call it? Um, deviated septum. Yeah. Was it in your boobs? Like seriously? Um, yeah, Martin, I think Martin's really funny and really sweet and everything and obviously he's done nothing to me, but he is a little bit like, you know, when your dad's like, you know what, instead of giving someone $5, we're going to take him into McDonald's.

He just gives Frankenstein vibes to me. I just feel like he's not quite on brand, but okay. So, so then we go, but we're only seeing flashes, because we're like reestablishing this, what people are up to. So now we see Ramona and her daughter, slash Beth Friend Afri, with her ex-husband, Mirio Kai. Yeah, so they're all at Ramona's house, and poor, poor, best friend Afri. She just looks so uncomfortable.

It's like she's forced to do these family scenes, but her parents just want to flirt the whole time she's there. I mean, she's just walking around like picking things up off the counter and like acting like she's maybe dusting something while Ramona puts on her flirt eyes and Mario puts on his prisoner eyes, you know. Yeah. And Ramona's like, So you what me and April haven't, okay? And you know what? We have that rhythm back again. Like Ramona, no one will ever accuse you of having rhythm. That's one thing since season one, that's never changed. Ramona ever finding rhythm. Yes.

Um, yeah, so then he's basically like, well, I miss your, I miss your cooking down in Florida. You have to come back down. And so then she does her flirty shoulder, where she goes like this. She starts leading with her shoulder. She goes, is that a watha? And goes, offer. Where you meet an invite?

I'm like, that's actually kind of the same thing. I don't understand this pattern. I know. There's a time to correct Ramona. Ramona, this one isn't it. But you know, you might want to hold her shoulder back because she's going to hurt herself. I mean, she's literally like, you know,

she's doing the full on Kristen from Vanderpump rule rules shoulder pump so then we go over to Luan and she's in her new apartment and she has an avocado in front of us and in front of her and she goes my little lone avocado oh what has become of me Cabaret icon used to fill all the seats in all the theaters of the world and now the only one who's come to see me There's a little alone avocado this lone avocado and she's got an assistant named Molly His way too positive to be here. She'll be dead soon. I mean she'll be she'll be she'll be in pickle's territory soon They nobody gonna hear from Molly again. So Molly's like I got everything organic from the store for you Lou Everything and she's nodding. And Lou Ann's like, well, you know, Molly, I love going to the supermarket, but now that

it's a masterpiece, I'm just nodding to it. That's the name of her new album, A Mastifer with Countess Lou Ann. So I love the idea that she's basically admitting that the only reason why she could go to the supermarket was to just prance round and show off her face. Hi, boys, fresh produce produce more like fresh cabaret Hey, oh, I hope those I hope those meats haven't hit their expiration date. I hope they it looks like we're about to hit it I guess there's not a lot of time left to sing Listen, I know we all need masks and they can't be fabulous,

but for me, it's like a fashion faux pas. Ha ha! You know what else is a fashion faux pas? Spreading coronavirus. So, um, so then we go to... Not if everybody has it. Listen, if you spread coronavirus to all your friends and you're all on the same coronavirus about

and then it's a party, okay? It just depends on how you look at things, man. Love that messaging. So now we got a Sonya's townhouse and so she's put an intern and asking the intern to look up an email or something. The intern's name is Zoe and Sonya goes, these are crazy times, but I'm a crazy lady.

So I feel like right at home, actually, Kray Kray is the way we roll. I'm like, it's a global pandemic. This isn't just like, oh, it's a thunderstorm. This is crazy. I know, but you know, I'm a sown, yeah, I loved it. It was like an excuse for me to not see anybody for a year just to make bread.

Like do whatever you can do with flour. Like I was into it and I'm pissed off the descending. I really am. I'm upset the descending. I had my, my vaccination scheduled and I keep like, whoops, I, it's too far away. Whoops, I'm upset that it's ending. I had my vaccination scheduled and I keep like, whoops, I, it's too far away, whoops, I'm late. You know, I keep missing. It's a master fair.

Yeah, you know, and I'm kind of upset about it. So I get Sonya and Sonya is coming from a real weird place this year. As usual, she's always in a weird place, but especially this year. And I just look at her new intern and I just, like do we ever learn anything in this country? Like, Elaine Maxwell is sitting in jail, you know,

all this stuff with Jeffrey Epstein, are we still not worried about human trafficking? Like, how is nobody looking into this? Like, Sonya has said she takes these children from their parents and promises them degree. Something fishy is up here, is someone gonna investigate? So, where this is the investigation. Okay. This is we're putting in a complaint with the authorities, okay?

Yeah, so just make me a bath darling Yes, oh mama bath And she's like oh look I got something I got some to shave my Pusser and then we just go into the opening credits. I was like, okay, New York is back. But she's so weird. She's like, I have used to shave my pusser. Oh my God, I may use this tonight.

Boo. Like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun being glamorous is what I'll never give up. Also, maskless, big maskless is something I'll never give up to in the supermarket. Um, Amelia, she's like, I'm sex positive and BS negative. Okay, what? Now it's Ramona. You know what? I may say the wrong thing, but my intentions are always right, Kai,

which I thought was so funny. It's such a fuck you to Durinda, because it's like an inversion of Durinda's last year, because Durinda's was, I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong. And that Ramona saying, I may say the wrong things, but I'm always right. Except the differences that Durinda's last year was one of my favorites, because it sound like she was saying it from across the room. I'm not always right. Never wrong. Never wrong. And then we get Ebony. I'm not always right! You're never wrong! You're never wrong. And then we get Ebony.

I've had to work twice as hard for half as much, but now I'm coming for everything. Which is good, I like that good opening line. And then finally, Sonia. Just like New York City, Sonia Morgan never goes out of style. Pussah! Pussah! Pussah! So then we go to Luan. No, Leah.

Leah. Leah's new apartment. Why do I have Luan Center? Oh, because Luan had the center app. Yes, Luan was center app. Yes, Luan was center app. Okay, so let's go over to Leah's new apartment. Yes.

With her time, a little new dog, Angel Marie McSweeney. Christophero. And So she's like sitting alone by yourself like Daring Horanthin helps you make some changes. And I did upgraded my apartment And I got new for a baby, Angel. Yeah, and she's wearing this dress in her confessional pink and it's made out of $100 bills and it's super tight. I get the bad-fashioned as her thing But this is very real housewives of statin islands, okay?

And I can say that because I've lived in statin islands, okay? I could have seen that at the fanciest restaurant in St. George So yes, well she's like cool and like a culture so her sister Sarah face times and she's like how are you? How are you? I said come to just walk around so okay cool cool I'm just very nervous right now because as I mentioned to you I'm starting my conversion process to Judaism and like today's young before and just like becoming very real to me That I'm taking these steps. I'm like why are you face-tim timing on Yum Kapoor? Or if you're trying to convert me a good Jew,

why are you doing this? Why are you shooting a reality show on Yum Kapoor? Yeah, I think that you're not allowed to do any of that stuff. But I don't really know, because I just know you and my Katepia from Fitler on the Roof. That's literally my the extent of it. Yeah, and Jill Zaron.

I don't know her. But I do really know the real tapia. So Sarah's like, I mean, it's a pretty big deal to convert to like an organized religion. She's like, well, would I convert to an unorganized religion? Or like, okay. We're getting a Gentile version of wacky juice story in mind the season. Yes. I'm not sure. Gentile version of wacky juice storyline the season.

Yes. I'm not sure. Gentile Catskills. Yeah. I'm not sure. This feels problematic, but I'm going to wait to see how many show tunes are in this before I really judge it too harshly. You know, is there a bottle dance?

Is there a bottle dance, right? Is there going to be a dream sequence featuring the ghost of her mother? Yeah, if you were a rich man, what would you do? Okay, and I need it to rhyme. Okay, but I'm giving you a chance tradition tradition. That's the Liam McSweeney version. Mm. Matchmaker matchmaker already fought them.

It's like that doesn't even rhyme Leah. Okay. It's like that doesn't even rhyme Leah, okay? So, um, I bless you guys. She goes, look, she's like, look, I mean, you know, I've been wanting to convert to Judaism for like many, many years. I mean, maybe I'm having my Madonna ray of light moment. I was like, Madonna is literally Jesus' mom. Well, I guess he was Jewish, so maybe it does all work together, you know?

Madonna's ray of light moment was also like universally mocked for how transparent it was. But listen, you know what, as a member of the tribe, I always welcome new members of the tribe. So I support it. Yeah, why not? Yeah, I don't know. I don't think tribes are like that.

Like we just welcome every member. Yeah, to put this through a bunch of shit. I mean, you have to learn a whole new language to get into your tribe. What do you mean you just welcome? I don't maybe do. I don't know. Don't you?

I don't know. I used to go to my best friend at Hebrew school. I was grandfathered in. Literally. I went with my best friend to after what is it called? You've told me before I'm so ignorant. Okay. Let's just go on the table.

I'm ignorant. Keep your school. Yes. And I was I was like, why isn't anybody teaching them to sing? What does it call you've told me before? I'm so ignorant. Okay, let's just get on the table. I'm ignorant. Hebris school, yes. And I was like, why isn't anybody teaching them to sing? Because for your bar mitzvah, you have to get up there and sing the prayers and stuff. And I was like, they need work on the singing. Anyone can learn the words.

I don't know. There's like a lot of notes I had from Hebrew school. Okay, thank you. I'll be sure to pass around office in higher councils and elders. I'll be sure. I mean, I got a Williamsburg. I'd be like, guys, this is guy. I've worked with him.

He has some notes about what we should be doing. Well, you know, you're going to get a lot of, when I lived in Williamsburg, story is this season because I did live there years ago, like 20, it was before 9-11. Okay. I moved after 9-11. So it was like right before then. For a few years, and we lived in this building on Kent Avenue, it used to be a positive factory, and the school right next to us under us, under our windows, was the Orthodox school. So,

you know, I know a lot about the culture of Anne. So if anybody has any questions about Hasidic myths, give me a call. I will. And if Ronnie's not available, you can always watch the season of Shaw's, the Sunset, where Jessica converted to Judaism for that, douchebag. So, yeah, so anyway, so she's gonna be, but here's, so she's getting converted by Orthodox rabbis. So she's really going in the deep end of, yeah. McFa.

And so Sarah, that's a Jewish term, Ronnie. Yeah. That's why I'm nodding. I'm very knowledgeable. I was like, I lived in a mick. I actually lived above a mick fa in what was formerly a tortollini factory. And yes, I mean, I know the linka, that's why I'm just nodding and not making a big deal out of it.

Totally natural. So anyway, Sarah is basically like, um, so you're getting, you're being converted by orthodox, rabbi, you may want to look into that, I think you have to be a little bit more modest. And she goes, you mean modern, she goes, you mean modern, she goes, no, modest, and she goes, I'm not dressing more modest. I kind of pinked dress me that of a hundred dollar bills bitch, like you think I did that for nothing, okay? So

She tells us like she's really attracted to all the rules and rituals in the prayers because it's like really intense and Addiction, you know does turn itself, you know like you're addicted to drugs and you're addicted to being thin But then you're you know, you know, maybe you get some problem with that so you get it to bone in. And then you get addicted to, you know, Bravo shows like whatever it is. It's like a cycle and she just happened to choose Judaism. She's addicted to the Torah. So, um, so then she calls her dad. So she has to, she, I don't know if she has, I don't think she's, I forget if she's told her dad or whatever, but she calls up her dad. She's like, hey dad, so today's young Kapoor and I want to start the Eurofresh.

So I want to ask your forgiveness for not being a great daughter. Just like trade out like, sorry, let's just forgive me for everything now. Just everything. This in general, do you just forgive me in general? And he's like, that's it. Look, I'm not Jewish. I'm a Christian. And you know, Christians have penance, you know, they don't just have this random apology thing. You know, you got a penance, you know, she's like, but I am a toning that, I'm calling you.

It's like, now, you're asking for forgiveness. Penance, you got to do something to its own. And she's like, we don't do that in Judaism. It's going really well, everyone. It's going really well. So Leah's like, she's like, well, just because I'm converting to Judaism doesn't mean I'm going to be the perfect Jew. And I'm like, not going to tell my rabbi about this, but this is progress.

And, you know, not perfection, just progress. So. And he's like, angels of Mexican dog, right? So angels Catholic. So what do you think? Because angels of two. Two against one. Two against one.

Yeah. So that's's gonna be dogs Speaking of dogs Ramona's talking to her is down the street, you know Coco Ramona Ramona Ramona when that camera is on her. She doesn't care. She's literally like Coco she like does a full Street like hi Coco guess what my fan move back to Coco is basically the weekend at Bernice a little dog So guess what cocoa might no move into the neighborhood the way in okay? She only did a couple blocks me okay

So who would have thought she and I really friendly now, okay? Look how close like please let me me try to get the street cocoa Coco's just like please get me away from this woman. I don't care what I have to do Please I thought cats were supposed to have nine lives not dogs. Please just end this for me I know Coco should have been dead a long time ago Coco is like the dog version of Kelly Ben Simone just running in the middle of the street You know the way Ramona walks her. So or him.

So then Luanne is at her new apartment and she's doing one of those Luanne trying to be really fancy and artistic poses, but it totally fails. She's standing there looking at a painting going, hmm, hmm, like she's surveying the art, but she didn't hang it right. So it just falls right off. She's trying to adjust it. So then Ramona enters and she's likeying the art, but she didn't hang it right, so it just falls right off. She's trying to adjust it. So then Ramona enters and she's like, oh my god, okay, you have,

mon, most gorgeous swas, okay, I'm so jealous. I hope you don't mind if Coco poops on them right now, okay, go, go poop on the wind's floors, make them less gorgeous than mine. No, look how chic, Celevie, you look. Thank you for loving the music. Thank you, sit down, the music. Thank you sit down Please sit down. I don't know if you know as Luann has a giant the giant Miami poster behind her Yes, like the Countess and friends. Of course she has that her like all around

Yes, I would love to make fun of that But you can see I do have a portrait of myself right behind me. So you do you Lou? Okay, I'm with you So um Luann sold her roundhouse up in Hudson. Um, I should, well, you know, I just, I never could make it up there. You know, with all the demands of a busy cabaret schedule, it's hard to get up the house river and, you know, I'm always with, you know, and I'm always in the Hamptons, especially with COVID. I'm not saying I had COVID in the Hamptons, I'm just there.

COVID's actually a friend of mine. He was on project runway a few seasons ago. Turns out microwaves don't really work in bathrooms. Who do? But, you know, I'm back in my hood, you know, and it's nice to be back around my girlfriends, even Ramona. You know what? I love the way you decorate it.

I love the colors. You don't even press me. What I get to know you. But then again then again the flowers set pretty low, you know? Because you went to jail and I didn't, okay? You know what? Maybe it's fate. Like maybe fate is strong and I'm actually excited. She's my name. Guy, you're what? Like getting to know the wind for the first time. Guy. And I was like, okay, I love a good housewives start over, you know, where everything is

perfect for about two episodes. So I'm hoping that's all this lasts. Yeah, I'm always- You will always know Gretchen and Tamera, that was, they really set that. They created the template for the housewives to do over that only last like five episodes. Oh good. I saw Gretchen on Instagram live today someone posted it and she looked like she was dressing likely when dressed For Halloween and she's like using some kind of filter on her face so half of her nose is missing in the video She looks like an eraser. She looks like an eraser. She's Vinnie Ray. She's been Tamer Barney E-Royce. She has been.

So now Ramona's talking about their bond, and she's, so then Luann's like, oh, you gotta try this beverage, okay. I got it in a place called the Hamptons. Anyway, this is a good alternative to drinking, because you know, Victoria doesn't drink, and I'm not drinking right now. And so then Ramona's, yeah, he's not drinking, and I'm trying to cut it way down, okay?

Which I felt like this was them really trying to signal to the audience like, don't worry, we won't be as crazy this season to which I say, boo, boo, boo, drink more. Well, yeah, that's content. Yeah, basically it's saying we're making zero effort this season, everybody, okay? You know what's been great, becoming healthy,

getting sober and taking care of yourself. You know what's not great? Doing that on my TV. Okay, you guys need to see that on your vacations. Okay, when you clock in, I want a martini in your goddamn hand. Thank you. Thank you. So they do a toast to not drinking. And so Luanne, she goes, well, I literally think at this point point I'm allergic to alcohol because this summer I had a couple of times when I was drinking some alcohol and I don't remember how I got home I mean those alcohol allergies, can you even believe it? What? What? This summer? This summer I'm getting chills. I'm getting chills right now. Well, you might be allergic to alcohol, you know, because that's what happens.

You know, first, do you drink a little alcohol before you know it? You're dancing on the table and shooting ping-pongs at your eardrums. You know, I mean, I don't even know what happened, but I must be allergic. I'm like, no, you're drinking too much that I'm alcohol.

You're drinking too much. You're not allergic. You're drinking too much. Well, I had 12 Marchinis, and at the 13th, when I thought to myself, I might be allergic to this. And then I don't remember what happened next. Yeah, Ben, I think I might be allergic to pizza. I mean, I don't know what happened. Like, I've been eating pizza and then suddenly I got real bloated and my clothes didn't fit.

I mean, it must sound like a real classic pizza allergy, you know? That's the way it goes. It's not only dangerous, it scared me. Scared me. I mean, I was out. I was out in Saga Harbor. Okay, and it happened a couple of times. So I said one time to myself, I said, you know what, Luan, it's time to change it up. And then I got up and I hit my head on the table

and then I realized I got gum stuck in it because people are still putting gum under the table and that gum clumped up in my hair and you know what I think my hair is allergic to gum. Did not take well to it. Well, you know it's funny because for a few years now I've been wondering about that trip to Mexico turns out I've been allergic to bushes which is why I fell into one. I mean, never would have discussed it. Just disgusted with myself.

I said at my age, no, never again. Last year, I mean, I was trying to find a drink again. And now my time has spent looking forward to not drinking. Like, it's just really like New Year's Day, where everybody like, oh my God, it's like, it's like all of my eating, everything is solved now because now the year is 2021. Thank God, the chip is off my shoulder.

And then the next day, you're just like, scarfing it down, you know, humping the dominoes guy's leg. Girl. It's just like, don't make these proclamations on TV. Don't do it. You're gonna wanna drink it, we're gonna want you to drink.

Agreed. Mm-hmm. Well, it just wasn't worth it to me. I didn't know how I got home. I was so waste. It wasn't worth it to me to do this not on camera. You know, it has to be documented. To do this when cameras aren't following you, you're just not garlic. Okay. So now, now we get into it. You know, every season always begins with everyone being mad at Sonya for wanting another. Usually it's Dorenda who's mad. Like, you know what, she went to TJ Maxx and she didn't tell me about it. You know, but this time, this time Luann and Ramona are upset because they haven't seen Sonia. I guess they forgot it's a global pandemic ever all supposed to be inside, but Sonia has

not been returning text and other pissed. Yeah, you know what? It's upsetting. Like she's distancing herself. Well, not just from you from all of us. I mean, I saw her daughter at Chautano downtown. And she said, you know, it's not just you, Lou. Mom doesn't give me the time of day.

And they're like, well, something's obviously wrong with her guys. Of course, something's wrong with her. She had one thing keeping her life together. And sentry 21 went under and they're like, well, something's obviously wrong with her. Guys, of course, something's wrong with her. She had one thing keeping her life together and Century 21 went under. And they're like, what could be wrong with Sonya? I just don't understand. I hope she's not stressed out during a global pandemic when everything's been turned upside down.

I hope, God, I hope nothing's wrong with her. Now that she's been forced to go back into the townhouse that's been the albatross in her life that she was almost rid of, what could be wrong? Yes, I mean, look, go back into the townhouse that's been the albatross in her life that she was almost rid of. What could be wrong? Yes, I mean, look, the lady has the townhouse. That's all she's really God as far as money or anything else goes. She can't sell that. She's losing money on that every month. She was like saying that her kids apartment and the kid was probably like, get the fuck out of my apartment. This was supposed to be

a week and you keep taping towels to the goddamn walls. Get out. You know, she's desperate. If you really want to get in touch with Sony and show her that you care, don't text her, use her Venmo, okay? Try to her message on Venmo with some money attached to it. She'll call your ass right back. That's exactly right. And they're just like upset that she's gone MIA. Everyone's like, you know what?

We have friends with Devo. Who else is gonna undermine her and make her feel bad about her decisions? Us, Kay. Yeah. Us, okay. Yeah, psychological, okay. You know what? Something going on. She's Mia.

Also, what's been going on with Sonya is, Sonya is like one of those people on the side of the freeway with signs that say we'll work for beer, but she does it for like faceless because Sony is all over the country just getting free face work then. She's here in Austin or she was last week at the Austin spa Which is code for like I'm getting my face done by somebody here in Austin, you know, and so it's like the new it's like the new food When your desperate just are you hungry? Don't worry get some filler in your lips at least you'll have something to chew on while you wait at stoplights Yeah, she's fallen prey to that which which is too bad. So then LeWans like, oh Ramona, I gotta tell you the most hilarious, coincidental story of

all time. So I just walked into this place and I want to buy it. I'll just buy it okay. No thought, you know, because who puts thought into place that you're gonna buy right? I didn't pay any attention to where it was geographically compared to any other significant place in my life. So, I was here and I'm waiting for those movers, those peep those gentle men, and I like to call them furture fans, and I look over there and I said, Oh my goodness, I can't believe that and purely coincidentally look what's over there, Ramona. No!

I've got to get to the movies that actually look what's over there, Ramona. No! AHA! AHA! AHA! I've got to get that squeal back. AHA! No! No! And it's Tom Starris. It's Tom Starris.

It's like, oh my god, you don't even need my knock-uvers. Do you see it right there? I know, it's necrasy. Well, I know when, well, now I know when he's in town, and the lights are on. Either the lights are on, or they're off. And if the lights are on, I won't be going to the Reg Well, I know when, well, now I know when he's in town and the lights are on. He's a lights are on or they're off and if the lights are on I won't be going to the Regency, which of course I wouldn't be doing anyway because I'm not drinking right now allergies allergies so bad this time of year So then we go to the park with Leah who's wearing a leopard coat and a

non-matching leopard mask which you know what it commit just commit If you're gonna do leopard commit so then Ebony comes to meet her the new girl And they're like oh house a week house a week and Lee is like tell me about your date And she's like girl you can not even see my obnoxious smile because it's under this mask You know because they're doing that whole thing where the housewives are like look we're back and we're filming But we're still being careful. We still acknowledge that there's a global pandemic, nominally. So, Lia's like, me and Ebony met recently through mutual friends and we live in the same neighborhood

and our dogs love each other. And the only difference is that Ebony is really good at dating rich men. So you live close to each other and your dogs get along and that's why your best friends. They look on this show it's a housewise show. They're not even trying anymore. Remember how they used to be like oh my god we've known each other for 10 years. Hey Eden, love your work. And it's like it turns out that they you know she almost got run over in a parking lot or something

they barely know each other. So let's see, say take off their masks and they're talking and Leah's brought Ebony a resting bitch face mask, which she's like, oh, I sleep with resting bitch face. And then Leah tells us, Ebony is the epitome of like black girl magic. Like she's a lawyer, a broadcaster. I mean, she took on the president, looking hot as fuck, you lubatans.

Black girl magic. Do I need to say? I'm gonna just keep saying it. Black girl magic. People love it. She's an AKA, which does not mean also known as, okay, AKA, yeah, I know what that means. I'm like, oh, this is so cringey.

I was like, yeah. I was like, I think everyone was just like, oh, like, why are you, like, it's not really her place to say black girl magic. It's not really her thing. I was like, but then I'm like, at the same time, I'm like, no, no. We tune in for cringey moments like this. We tune in for this.

We did, but you know what? This is Real Housewives of New York, and it could have been way cringier. Leah could have been like, oh my God, me and Abani get along so, so well. Like, we have like that black girl magic. I mean, it could have been way crazier. Leah could have been like, oh my God, me and Abani get along so, so well. Like we have like that black girl magic. I mean, it could have been that. It could have just been like, I'm like the ivory and she's like the Ebony, which honestly, we'll probably happen later this season.

Let's be honest, you know. Yeah, that's good. So they're chatting and oh, we should probably, can we just pause and talk about Ebony? I thought a great first episode for her, you know? I really, I really, I really like her. Yeah, I did really like her. My general thoughts of the show is there's too few people.

There need to be more people. I need like one or two more. And I was a little worried about it because at this scene, I should be, I was kind of laughing at the Ramona and Lee, the Ramona and Lee. Like I was kind of it, I'm into it because it's back. I'm just excited. It's back. But there is part of me like, come on guys.

But Ebony comes in with a ton of energy and seems like she's going to really get good at working. Yeah. She's going to work in the camera because she's like media trained, you know? And so so far, I think the media training is actually very beneficial. It could work against her, but so far, I think it was a really, really strong entrance. Yeah, I think so.

And I also had the same feeling, which is it seemed like they were trying to course correct the season a little bit, since there were so many ill-advised people who said that last season was too chaotic. I'm like, well, you complained and now guess what? Like what you got, okay? But I think they were trying to reassure us like,

no, no, no, we're getting back to the girl friend's part. So we'll see how it is. A lot of it, I'm hesitant. Like I'm feeling really hesitant at the beginning of the season. There's the sobriety, which makes me very uncomfortable. We all know that. And then there's the not enough people which is making me like oh my god Please don't make this boring because I need the show to like last until I'm dead really and then there's the okay

Now we're throwing a fabulous black woman into Ramona land Which you know Every we're all every ignorant thing you know You're gonna hear every ignorant ass thing come out of these ladies mouths and part of me's like this is gonna be hilarious, but the other part of me's like Is it though? It's gonna be it's gonna be a well get emotions. That's for sure You know, it actually harkens back to season five when they had a cast change they brought on Carol on Heather and Aviva and I remember in the first several episodes, there was like, it was kind of trying to find

itself a little bit and it felt sort of like, oh, what's going on. But it got its groove. And I remember the second half of that season was like insane. So I have no qualms that it will be great. But I'm like, it felt it was surprisingly tame for an episode of Roanie to come back with them by the time we got to the end and the coming the season it looked hilarious. So we'll get to that later. But for now she's telling Ebony about Peter chip and you know catching her up on that and he's kind of a fuck boy and Ebony's asking her she's

ready to be in love and you knowony's saying it was really hard for her to leave her last relationship because she just didn't wanna start over. You know, it's just really hard to do that again. And Leah's like, yeah, I just like, I hate the idea of taking a shit at a guy's house. I mean, I'll get a colonic before I even go on the date

because I'm not gonna shit. Ebony, um, I don't give a fuck. Just like I don't give a fuck it could be a first date I mean because you fed me you fed me we went to dinner, right? You fed me so I'm gonna shit, okay? Because well I broke up with the guy for farting in front of me So that's where I'm coming from and she goes girl. Give me a break. I'll take a duty, okay? I'm a human being bitch. I ate To me that was like okay, you're in you're in like I'm a human being bitch. I ate Story of my life

So now we go over cuz you'd love to talk about poop, you know, I don't love not afraid to talk about it I'm not a love to you It's perceived as love by you because you can't do it all the time. That's why you feel like I do it all the time because you hate it so much. Whatever I do, hit. You know, I can't really, you like gotta pay.

You want me to talk about poop? I will talk about poop all the time. No, no, don't. But it was even okay when I needed it. So, you know, I think I'll like her. So then we go to the townhouse and the dogs barking. And Sony is just doing her like manic just either snorted something or took five Adderall or whatever. She's like nervous to be back on camera. And she's like, oh, Marley, it's not about you, darling. He's like my lover. He wants food and then they want

sex. I mean, one mind, guys, right? Well, I'm going to be having brunch here new intern. You know, and I haven't seen them. And they're just so judgment sex. I mean, one mind, guys, right? Well, I'm gonna be having brunch here new intern. You know, and I haven't seen them. And they're just so judgmental. I mean, they're saying great gardens and then they come in here and everything's a mess. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I love quarantine. What's going on?

I'm gonna show you how to make me a bath. It's gonna be amazing. And this poor girl is like, can I please call my mother? I know. She's like, I've been stuck in this townhouse with you for five months, three. Please let me out. And so I was like, you know, I really like quarantine.

I mean, I like being alone. It gave me time to center. I'm like, there's nothing about the theme that speaks of someone who has centered. She's like, okay, so we're gonna get into a bathtub. Okay, how you gonna draw the water? You're gonna draw the water? Okay, oh, no, my clothes are in storage.

Okay, so I'm just gonna wear my pajamas around every day. Just like, oh my goodness, this woman does not centered. And the first person that comes into this 10 house and offers me seven dollars, I'm gonna take it, just take it away. Because right now, it's all about taking care of me. For the first time in my life, it's all about Zonya.

It's always all about Zonya. It always change, never change. So she's gonna draw this bubble bath and she's like, okay, let me show you how to do my tub. Okay, like, why can't you do this? Why can't you do the tub? So she turns on the faucet and the little spray thing is in the wrong direction and just like, you know, just shoots water right at Sun. Yeah, you know, so they're like, ah, water. And it's like, oh my god, that was hot water. And I was like, well, you see, you are moving

up in the world. Yeah. That's the biggest news of this episode is someone got Sun is hot water turned on. We haven't had water flowing through that faucet for about three years and finally got someone to fish the blackberry out of the pipe. I'm training you. You're getting a master so you need real life stuff. That's what I teach people. There's something magical about my internship.

You just can't learn what I teach in class. Dishwada, doing dishes, gardening, bubble baths, and then she just takes off her clothes. And she's like, these are not things you can learn in Warden, am I right, Zoe? All right, now tuck mama into the bath, Zoe. So magical. That magical real world experience. But it would be funny if you go into Warden

and you just see people like not knowing how to make a bath Just like water going in every direction like how do we do it? Yeah Someone just standing in a in one of the water fountains outside like am I doing this right? I just don't want to smell anymore. I've got my nose this way They're putting pot of plants into dishwashers. We don't know Well, I guess you should have taken the Morgan internship. So, um, so she's in the tub and so she facetimes Leah, which is an ordeal unto itself because they have a very hard time

getting the eye pads. Why can't you get the iPad to work Zoe? I mean, you need to learn how to do the iPad. You do the iPad like this. So, Zoe, the iPad, Zoe. Like, how is she supposed to learn from you can't open a goddamn iPad Sonya It's like Sonya. That's a Hershey bar. It's not an iPad So you're calling your dog

So she facetimes Leah and Leah is also in the tub. Like, my God, she's in the tub. She's in the tub. Matt, she's a grad of the internship. She knows what's up. So she basically invites Leah to this brunch and then Leah says she's gonna bring Ebony. Then you go through that whole facade of like,

oh, I have a new friend Ebony. You know, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, cool. Bring her along. Which by the way, the other thing is Ebony, I believe, somewhere along the way, professed that, oh cool, bring her along. Which by the way, the other thing is Ebony, I believe, somewhere along the way, professed to being a huge bravo hall. Like, so she fully knows what all these women are all about,

which is funny that she has to play along like, oh, nice to meet you. Oh, yeah, she knows what she's getting into, for sure. Yeah. And then we go to Ebony's apartment and she's wiping that counters and her friend Natalie comes over her best friend. And, um, you know know Ebony has to do that awkward scene of setting up her entire life in one scene with her friend who already has everything.

Yeah, as her friend has not been on the receiving on the phone call for nights and nights and nights and nights during battle from Ebony. Yeah, she has to get in that she's doing really well. She's really rich because you have to be well, I mean we just saw saw a Sony scene, but she's the outlier. You're supposed to be really rich or at least pretend to be to be on these shows. You've got your badass, you know, badge, you've got all this stuff going on. So she's like, wow Natalie, great to see that part, that pinker maze bag is fabulous. Okay, well, you know, I've just been going, going, going, going, because I have revolt news

and I have the court stuff. Do you want rosé? I love rosé. You know, I wear a lot of hats. Tiffany, a camel lawyer. I work as a broadcaster. I work for revolt news, which I started. And you know, that podcast we all know that I started,

you know, called holding court. I'm almost high-fim it. So yeah, you're going to love this rosé. I know it was like the colonial exposition. And they call, I mean, Natalie is like, I'm so glad I drove all the way down here for this bullshit. So, um, so then Ebony is just like talking and she's like, well, you know, I mean, it's like, it's like a few years ago.

I mean, I don't know if I ever told you this. You literally tell me the story every time we hang out. Whatever, let's say it again. It was like, when I, you know, I went to the bank and tried to get that mortgage and I couldn't get the mortgage. Oh, my God, I couldn't get the mortgage. You know, I loved being a public defender, but then I said, I need a bigger microphone.

I need more amplification. And you know what, I'm gonna better myself, okay? And I'm putting money into pursuing myself, but I was bad with my bills. So I got repote. I'm like, Ebony, you did it wrong. You're supposed to get repote once you're the housewife, not before you're the housewife.

Yes, I want to see you get repoed, okay? That's a very important part of the storyline here. You need to have it all then lose it, and then we need to like root for you to, you know, slap your name on some, you know, knock off joggers. What do you think paying your bills? What are you doing paying your bills

before you get on to the real housewives? You have to pretend to pay your bills, and then you get disgraced in public, and then you resort to either cabaret or fashion to come back. Yeah. I like that she said, you know, I went to the bank and you know what I forgot? I forgot to check that Rico bitch.

You've always got to check that. She said the bank lady even told me not even your mom is going to give you a mortgage with that Rico. Well, you know, check the Rico, okay? So she tells us how she goes, well, I made decisions that in retrospect, you know, not even in retrospect, they were bad decisions, okay?

They're irresponsible. She goes, I mean, I was dodging parking spaces in different places so they wouldn't find that car. She goes, and they found the car, okay. They found the car. It's pretty amazing. But she worked, she got her credit back and everything. And now she just bought a one bedroom up in Harlem. And then this is the coolest thing. After she drags her friend down here to hear all this stuff that her friend already knows about, she goes, so I'm going to be moving. And you can

help me move. You can help me move. I'm for her friend was like, thanks. You can't. Yeah, she's like, and I compact me up. Have fun. Thanks. So then we go to Sonia's house getting ready for brunch, just being manic as hell, you know, that first time people are coming over since COVID hit and you're like, oh my God, what is still out? You know, you just know because everything looks normal to you in your house because you've just been sitting in it for a year, but you know, there's some lube somewhere that you don't know where it went.

You know. No, she's upset the lube is packed away. She's like, okay, we need a centerpiece. Where's that lube? I wanna put that on the table. So she's really mad because there's a runner on the table. She goes, I have an affliction to runners. I have an affliction to runners.

You know, every year during the marathon, I can't. I can't. I know. I totally get that one. She's like, I grew up with a family with runners and plastic on the rocks and the couch and the caterer lady comes and she tucks her tag in because Sonya still sony ain't walking around with closures. She's returning the next day. You know, she goes, yes, and I do keep the tags on everything so I can return it. If I don't like it. I've got to fist all over it and then everything else sweat all over it. Yeah. So then Ramona's at home and she calls up the way and she goes, Hey, glue, it's Ramona.

How are you? Huh? How are you? Huh? And so we're like, Oh, I'm good. I'm just getting ready for brunch over it. So Nuretas hopes doesn't serve me anything. I'm allergic to, but I guess if that happens, we'll just have to take it one step at a time

You know what I'm gonna be more positive if I have something I'm allergic to I'm gonna stop referring to it as a blackout I'm gonna start referring it to as a black in all right Speaking of you know what I googled and you can wear white you brown, okay? Oh, I got a white pants sitting on the bed right now. Of course it says Viva LaDiva on it, but I mean, who doesn't love that song, am I right? So, Leon Evinier and the car together, Enlea goes, God, I hope they behave.

And Enlea goes, so do you think they've met anybody like me before? Enlea goes, a black person, and they start cracking up, and I start cracking up. And she goes, actually, no, I don't think that they have. Yeah, she's like, I don't think they have black person. So Ebony is saying she's like, I'm not really used to the upper side. It's not really my place, but whatever this serves everywhere.

So I was like, oh, congratulations. The game's not love you. The game's roll on board now. And she doesn't really know them, but she's seen Lu on the charity circuit. So she's like, I can deal with her, you know, and not just the charity circuit, not just the charity circuit. She's met Lu at Jill's Aaron's house at Jill's errands. Yes, the charity is circuited Jill's errands. So Leah's telling her about how Ramona's really pissed her off in the past and she promised not to tell Leah what to do anymore and all this you know all this like tired Ramona trying to school Leah on manners, which is hilarious considering she shits herself what to season but whatever. Yeah

And I've been just like well, I'm more important now I hope the food is really good because I don't miss no meals. I'm not. Yeah. And Evan is like, well, on a more important note, I hope the food is really good, because I don't miss no meals. I'm like, okay, well, I hope that Sonya unclog that toilet finally, because we know it works with Evan. So they get to the townhouse and Sonya's still manic, and she's standing on the pond in the backyard,

and she's like, oh my God, I mean, look at the pond. I mean, I just cleaned it. Now I'm trying to cover up all the stuff. I mean look at the pond I mean I just cleaned it now I'm trying to cover up all the stuff I mean what am I supposed to do it was it was a little unhinged she just back there so Leon and Ebony come in and there I think this may have been Leo's first time at the townhouse because she's like well looks like a really nice a pretty side townhouse although maybe I brought my black light I mean I want wanna walk into the place, but I'm happy to be here. So, so, so, and he was like crawling out of this pond

and she's like, okay, sorry, I got a what of the stones. It's very special stones. You got to wash the dirt off from the top and not from the middle, special stones, special stones, mom and love special stones. Don't get the dirt from the cracks. Don't get the dirt from the cracks. And the happening goes, is this from real? Oh, I'm sorry, dirt on top, dirt from the cracks. Don't get the dirt from the cracks. And Ebony goes, is this dirt from real?

Oh, no, not from the sides. Yeah, Sony is just acting best out of her mind, basically. And she's like, I'm just Sony a time. I love Sony a time. Oh, hi, now here I am. And they kiss. And she goes, oh, are we kissing now? I mean, are you those kind of people who just say, don't worry, I have the antibodies. Because that's what everybody's saying now. don't worry, I have the antibodies, because that's what everybody's saying now.

Don't worry, I have the antibodies. And everybody goes, actually, I do have the antibodies, okay? I do have the antibodies, because I did have COVID. Also, I'm gonna shit here. So, I just wanted to let you know that. You're told it's about to have the antibodies also. So, and then they're joking about Ramona, and whether or not she has the antibodies,

and we got flashbacks to the reunion where she says she has antibodies and she like there was some I forgot what it was about her donating blood where she insisted that she donated blood and like we don't think she did and like we know she didn't we know that Ramona did not donate blood because if she had donated blood It would have been all over Instagram because she Instagrams everything and we see a montage of Ramona's Instagram. She's like, whoa, I got a new machine for coffee. It's taking me half an hour to figure out how to work. Kai. The best part of that was Ramona in lingerie, pretending she could clean her toilet. She's like, look at me, just normal girl, normal outfit,

cleaning my toilet. Normal people too. Pumping her shoulder and the camera trying to be all sexy. Well, I figured it out. I figured out how to make tea, okay? Turns out you just take hot water and you put a tea bag in it, okay? You know what?

It's mine, it's mine, it's a little girl. I used to always love the letter T. I do my alpha bets, I get to T and I be like, this is my favorite letter. And then my father's friend, Geraldine Paz Smith said to me, you know what, little girls shouldn't say that letter. Little girls that say that letter are sluts because you can't say slut without

tea. So this day, I've never known how to use the word tea or even make tea, okay? But now I've overcome, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I've overcome, okay? So Evan is looking around and she's like, wow, this is like, I don't know, an enchanted garden with that schoolbook story. And so he like listen oh come to the pond okay this is gonna sound PC but it's true look I have a fish of every color okay oh no as soon as she said this is gonna sound PC I already was I was like I just wanted to like donate to a cause I just was ready to donate.

I have a fish of every black, white, yellow, all the fish of the rainbow are here. They all get along and have any guts. Oh yeah. I mean, look at you. You've got biracial fish. I'm looking into body positivity. You got larger fish, skinny fish. You know, that's some fish diversity, bitch. So he was like, I mean, I really thought it would be Ramona first. I did not see it being Sonia first We hasn't know that it was just gonna be whichever one she encounters first is it was gonna fire off right? Oh my god, I just like have any navigates it is so funny And she tells us because well, I feel like Sonia is trying

a little hard to connect on that racial diversity of her of the moment with her fish, but that was pretty lame, you know, but I give her two points for trying. Two points. So, so now Sonia is talking about how, you know, the bunny that comes in, it comes out, you know, at this big deal, it's just like I can't catch a break. I mean, century 21 went out of business.

My raft that has the Nigerian football team on it. It's sank. Sank off the coast of Santerpae. I can't get it, I can't get it, catch a break. You know, I've been calling John John. He hasn't called me back. I mean, the world is just turned upside down right now. I just don't know what to even do right now with myself.

I bought tickets to go see Hamilton. Guess what? It was it was a rip off. I wound up at a Chuckie cheese where they're performing something called a molten not the same. I just can't catch a break anymore. You know what? They should have called it Hamilton. Okay. They should have called it every 10, okay? Because that'll be about someone who's interesting. My best friend says, daughter, every. So she's talking about how she's doing this online business for her clothing, but they have all these losses because they had to get sewing machines and all these fabrics for the century 21st stuff.

And she's like, you know, I own 54% of it, but you know what, there's no money. So 54% of nothing, I mean, that's nothing, you know? And Ebony's like, you're looking at the books, right? She's, what kind of, I mean, I've seen them. And then it says, last year, and you see someone you're looking at the books going, oh my God, that's written down, good. Ha, ha, ha.

I know, it's like me signing a contract at Avis. Yeah, sure, okay. Yeah. So Ebony is like, yeah, you need to make sure you see the books. And something goes, ooh, I'm seeing the lawyer come out of that cleavage right there, which doesn't really make sense, but okay. And so she's like, I love having a lawyer in the group. Now I just need a plastic surgeon.

So now Ronnie, that's what she's casting the next season. That's why she's going to all these places. She's just casting. Recruit her. Yeah, hey, put it out there. You know. And she goes, you know, free legal advice. I mean, you're talking to someone who just had 34 lawyers. So this is working out. So then they start talking about kids because Ebony's dating and then they never let Ebony finish anything, right? So before Ebony starts the story like 20 minutes ago and she's like listen I'm old bitch she goes I was on the Oprah track and I didn't

want babies or man because they would just slow me down and then I had my axe and you know he has his kids and you know I get it there's nothing like that love but then I started thinking maybe I want that too but you know it's gonna cost something and so do I slow down my ambition to rule the world? It's like well, I'll tell you what my first blackfish. I'll tell you has the nicest leaf to rest behind than any of the others Take that with you. Yeah So then Luana Ramona, I think it out that the their outside the townhouse. And Ramona just starts going down the sidewalk. She's like, whoa, sidewalk.

Ramona, I get over here. Sorry, I saw him. Man down the street. It's like, have you ever been here Ramona? Whoa, he's in that room. He's Mario. Is it Mario? Oh no, it's made of, it's Bill Blasio.

Barbara, why is he with Barbara? Be sure to get all of your things out of the camp before you leave. Shut up, Bill Fumario! Guy? Bill, do you want to play with your father? Oh, it's Bobbra, sorry. So they go in and there's double kisses with Leigh and Ramona. Everyone's going to start this year off nice and everything.

And Lou's like, oh, well, try and, you know, start this year off nice and everything. And, um, Lou's like, oh, well, we went with the pink, huh? And Evan, he said, well, yeah, I mean, you encouraged me, and, you know, you basically told me everything else sucked, so I wore this. She's like, yes, well, it looks great, looks great. You know, I don't know, Evan, he, well, I mean, I try to have a line between me and my fans,

but, you know, I know we're socially at an impasse,, I try to have a line between me and my fans, but you know, I know her socially at an impasse, and I always liked her, and I thought she was beautiful, and I especially liked that she bought my cussingle of Viva La Diva. So, you know, she's great. She has that, as we say in France, that zilithic waaap! Well girls, I have a big news. I have a friend, a trainer friend in the Hamptons, and his name is Garth. And what is Garth?

Oh, I love that name, okay, Garth. He's just so cool, he's gorgeous, he's stunning, he's six, six, he's South African, he used to play rugby for England, and it's just so crazy, I mean, we're friends and sometimes little, kissy kissy, or is they say in France? Because he killed it!

That sort of, I don't know what that, croissant, croissant love. Yeah, first I got a niche down there, and I thought I might be allergic to him, but you know, it just turned out to be my new cotton underwear. You know, I was wearing that during quarantine. And I put, I just put it out into the universe. I want a tall blue-eyed man and boof.

He appeared on a dating site, no less. I manifest these things. What are the odds that you would find someone of pretty generic description, tall blonde blue eyes on a dating site? Oh, white blonde person on a dating website are you kidding me? just for cap race stars it's a wonderful app I recommend it for everyone so Evan he's like oh well I have a boyfriend or a really I need lessons do you use the shoulder? how do you find a boyfriend during COVID

do you wear a mask during the ocean? Because I don't wear a mask in the ocean, okay? And so he's like, oh God, she doesn't even remember her boy's name for this Ramona. And he's like, yeah, Ramona, I hear that you've been like seeing Harry do Ben sticking your tongue down each other's throat all over New York City. You know what? Sometimes he gets a little frisky, okay? And now Ramona's mad. She's like, seriously? I think she tells us this. She's like, yeah.

Seriously, dear? You're gonna get desperate to pick a mischievous talk about Harry. He's such old news. He's such old news, which is why I still make out with him in the news, okay? She goes, but just friends. And he's like, well, not according to Sonya. She goes, oh, you know what know what Sony doesn't even say anything real Okay, she's trying to be funny and Sony goes and she's a liar So you know that's me in the middle there. It's like oh this is gonna go well Well, you know with their smoke there's fire and when there's sucking face. There's hiding the salami It's sort of like that old other old saying where there's water. There's brown eyes. Am I right everyone?

You know what you're won't you don't even know me. Gay? Who are you? Crazy pond lady? And some you're like, what is everyone's start in my life and end up in your beds? All of them. I mean, next thing you're going to start taking baths.

Happy cats. Hello, Cabaret Star. OK. Lolo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo. That's what we call a warm-up. Anyway, I want to hear about Ebony. Ebony, tell us about this man in your life and how does he compare to Garth? So and so finally they get back to Ebony and she's like, Oh, well, you know, so I know this

guy, you know, we started his friends, but then I went online and he's talking about social justice and kneeling, which I love. And they're just all looking at her like, hmm, I don't understand what one has to do with the other. Kneeling. What was he asking for? Anything in particular? Who saw that? He was asking for it at that moment. Was he at church?

Was he opposing to somebody? I'm really interested in that. Such as, wow, I love when that happens, because there were friends for a year and everything and she's like, I need some minority owner of a football team and I'll just pause. I'll wait for Sonya to get confused and say something problematic Sonya. Oh, well, I love that. I love that opportunity for him. Yes, it's not what you think it is, Sonya. It's not what you think. Oh, Sonya. I'm surprised Sonya didn't come in with her.

Oh, I was minority owner of it. I was the first white minority Owner of the Nigerian faculty white women are the most discriminated against people these days I don't know if you know that just ask my fish just ask my white fish You know what we all be saying white girl magic White girl magic. I love that saying Anyway, look oh here's Do you want some photos of when I was in AKA? Okay, great.

So, so, so Leo's like, is, um, uh, hello, can you like, cook me up with a football player? And I'd be like, no, I'm working on Leo. Okay, you gotta go, you gotta stay away from the talent. Okay, you have to go to the bosses. I'm like, no, no, no, no. No, I think you? You have to go to the bosses. I'm like, no, no, no, no.

I think you're totally entitled to go for a hot, a hot-ass football player. I say go for the talent. Why do you want the crusty old Bob craft? Because they have the money, okay? They have the money, get the money. So, have you ever seen the guy who owned these teams? It is like looking at an Amiabah wearing a blazer.

There's a little critter outside. I just saw it. Listen, after you fuck somebody two times, they all look like an Amiabah. Okay, just who cares? You know, it comes two times and then marry the rich one. That's what I say. So Sonia's like, wow, well, she's getting fully loaded. Guys, I mean, not just loaded, but low dead. I mean, and Leah says, are you on birth control? And he's like,

well, yeah, I don't want to trap him. And Sony goes, well, don't trap him. Just trick him more. I don't know. Just telling that you're on birth control. And then have a baby. That's called building a family. Yeah, she's like, I mean, you might want to get off birth control if you want to have it. She's like, yeah, I'm not going to trick him. And then Leah keeps, no, Luan keeps Leah outside because everyone goes in to eat.

And Lue's like, well, I've got news. I've stopped drinking. And he is like, how many minutes? He's like, hmm, seven. It's been long. It's been a long seven minutes, Leah. During COVID, I was kind of going back and forth. I was like, I could do this.

I can control this rampant allergy in my life. But I'm realizing now I can't. It's scary and I'm struggling with it. The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that my song, Givala Diva hit number three on the Bulgarian dance charts last week, so I have that at least. I just need you to be my wingman.

You know, I don't expect you to say you're my sponsor, just my wingman. In other words, when there's a hot person, you set me up for the hot person, you set me up for the hot person, stop stealing them all young person. All right. And Lee is like, well, I haven't had much to drink. I haven't had anything to drink since March 31st, you know, and I really, I mean, I had a reference point because I'd quit before.

And so like, I got easily back into it. And you know what? I just realized it's supposed to be like this for me. And the way I'm like, yeah, well, it's nerve-wracking to be around people, you because you know how this group gets it's crazy. Did you see so? Yeah, I mean she tried to serve me a glass she's tried to serve me a glass of water in the glass pipe These people are crazy. She's like, I know what you're talking about I know we see a montage of Leah being actually the craziest of them all With the octopus or the squid. Yes.

So, listen, no one likes the party more than I do, okay? But unfortunately, I have a party allergy now, so I can't do it. So then, now we go all to Sonia, leading them into... Oh, this is what it was. I was like, why did I write this down? I loved the subtleness of this edit of Luan saying, no one likes to party more than I do. And then it cuts immediately to Sonia right then and there.

Like, okay, girls, come on this way. I was like, I see what you're doing there, editors, I see. Yep. So they have all this food set out and these little desserts. And Sonia was like, well, I can't take any credit for this. Such as hired people. And everyone is like, you paid for it. Take some credit. And so they all, you know, Google, you know, little things that none of them eat. I'm sure. Is that a meal for you? Oh, where's the French

day? A meal for you? So Ramona and Luan give Sun you shit about not calling them back and Sun is like we talked and lose like Oh, give me a break. I mean listen She goes we just talked like a week ago. She's like six months nine months 13 months. It's been seven seven months Okay, like who are you even it was college? It was like college was last time we saw you Sun You've never seen last time I saw you you were coming out of the womb. You would just So, um, yeah, so yeah, they're like well, we missed you. You didn't you didn't visit me or Lou or summer long No, you did not you absolutely didn't wait am I a girl? You did not, you absolutely didn't. Am I a girl, okay?

And suddenly I was like, well no, I spoke to her. Well, she's a new friend, okay? Where are your oldest friends? Timeline, not age, timeline, oldest friends, okay? We haven't heard from you. Her mom was like, you know what? The man would say, Mona, did you hear from Sonia? And I would say, no, the man, did you hear from Sonia? And I would say,

No, the man. Did you hear from Sonia? And then she would say, No, Mona, did you hear from Sonia? And I would say, No, the man, did you hear from Sonia? And the Tom would come out, it's balcony,

it's shut up, can't sleep up here. And I'd go, oh my god, stop, I'm gonna fight by Tom. Ah, ha, ha, ha, fight Tom. So Sonia's basically like,

well you know, I was alone, I was like, actually I was in the desert, I was just like walking around alone in the desert, just walking, just looking for burning man, never found it. He he he. So, let's see, so she talks about how Century 21 really hurt her, you know,

and it was like the rug being pulled out from under her, and they're like how Century 21 really hurt her, you know, and it was like the rug being pulled out from under her, and they're like, yeah, but we're still your friends, you know. She's like, but I don't like to bother you, you know, and Ramona's like, you know what, Sony is not in a good position, okay? You know, Century 20 went dead, and then look at the townhouse. I mean, I just don't want it to spy with out with the elacidor okay if she's gonna spiral it should be me who causes it not the townhouse okay yeah let's have

to get away so you know here's the like hey so I'm just depressed let's take her out and just like ruin her life out of town so she can't escape and they're gonna go to the hamptons you know you can come to ebonyony. And we're like, yeah, you know what, Ebony? I feel a bond with you, and it just have to say that right now. Like, it's really special. Okay, and I'm like this. My hands are over my face.

I'm like, here it comes. Here it comes. She's about to say something really bad, but then she doesn't. I was like, whoa, whoa, I was like, that's sort of surprising. So, at least I was like, I, whoa. I was like, that's sort of surprising. So at least I was like, um, Ramona, you said the same thing about me too when you first met me.

She's like, well, I greet, I greet, okay. So then Lohan turns to Ebony and she's like, well, you have to come to my house. I mean, you haven't seen my house. I have a beautiful house. Since Sag Harbor, you ever know Sag Harbor? It's a harbor that sags like Ramona's face. Oh, you have to come. You ever know Sack Harbor? It's a harbor that sacks like Ramona's face.

Oh, you have to come. And Abin is like, oh, I love Sack Harbor. I really, you know Sack Harbor. You've heard of Sack Harbor. I'm like, it's like the wind. People know what Sack Harbor is. And Abin is like, yes, it's a very special place. Actually, you know, Sack Harbor has a history

because it's the first place that black people could own property and it was like a generation after slavery. So it's actually very special to me. And they're just like, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. And we're gonna go, that's amazing. Will we talking about it again? And the way I was like, oh, I haven't heard that before. I'm normally quite up to date on the historical origins

of any town I live in. I'm a surprise. I didn't know that anyway. Ooh. And then we'll also getting allergic to this cheese. Anyone? So, well, I was there for COVID. And, you know, typically we do a trip to the Hampton.

So, this is our bonding moment, which sometimes works out and sometimes it just doesn't work out. So then this is the best part of the whole episode, because I'm thinking, okay, this is so far kind of awkward, you know, everyone's sober, Sony is freaking out about something. What's gonna happen here, you know, I'm like, I'm not sure about the season, but then it's like all set up like a little polite tea party. So then they're like, you know, everything's great and I was like, I'm so glad to see you again. I'm so glad to be friends again. Wow, even I'm glad to see you ugly bitches. So this is great. And it's like the next week. Shut the fuck up. What'm excited to go and you know what? I heard such nice things about you and you're actually nicer than they said and then like a week, oh week forward I never said that you got it all wrong. Well then you need to clear eyes out and you're out and listen

Oh, yes, good happening good get it there Yeah, and then Leah going you're not gonna treat me like a raunchy bitch and then Don't it could just come back to them growing like you know what I love you. I love you. It's so good And then yeah, and then Luanne goes something like welcome to the club or I don't know they just they just see these flash these flash forwards to what next week is gonna be. And it looks, I'm like, okay. All right, we'll, I think we're gonna be just fine.

I am in. Okay, everybody, so that was the recap part of the show. So everybody listening to this at home, not five people, you guys stay here. But everybody listening, thank you so much. We will talk to you next time Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley Savoni she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella itchles Dana C

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