Watch What Crappens - RHONY: It's A Cruel Summer - Live from DC

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. What would crappens would like to think it's premium sponsors? Just saying okay? Kristi Wawerdi-Dawerdi!

Starting point is 00:00:33 Ashley Savoni? She don't take no baloney! Aaron McNickalus! She don't miss no trickleus! Megan the Slayer Taylor! Kelly Barlow! When she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg!

Starting point is 00:00:44 You can't have a burger without the bird! Ain't no thing like Allison King. Hot dang! It's Jessica Deng. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson, of a Nagila Weber. Lisa Walland, now that's what I call Wallentainment.

Starting point is 00:00:59 The Bay Area, Betches, Betches. And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Very grand. The grandmaster. Let's get racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon out of a can an Anthony. Incredible edible Matthew sisters.

Starting point is 00:01:14 And... Mina kuchi kuchi kuchi. Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap in The crap in The crap in The crap in

Starting point is 00:01:33 The crap in Watch what crap in Kids what happens when there's so much that crap in The crap in Kids what happens when there's so much that happens Yes! God can see Oh my God Thank you so much Oh My god

Starting point is 00:02:05 Whoa, thank you so much. Oh my god. Oh My god. Oh my god Wow Holy crap, I cannot believe there's so many people in here. I know Do you know so last month we went to Dallas and we did our biggest show ever in Dallas. And records are meant to be broken because now tonight is our biggest show ever. Whoa. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:02:37 And in true and remonestyle, I've got 30,000 drinks up here in front of me. Yeah. So, one of the best things about our job, I mean, obviously this is pretty fucking great, but one of the best things is just working at home in my underwear, you know? Totally, totally. And every time we come here, my biggest complaint is I have to put on fucking clothes, like seriously. Thank you. So tonight I decided it's our biggest show, and I'm gonna work on fucking comfortable.

Starting point is 00:03:10 Yeah. Yeah. Be comfortable. Yeah. Yeah Wow You can't sound lewand leggings unless you're willing to wear that shit, right? I know We are so I'd I say these are really fucking comfortable. They look amazing. They look amazing.

Starting point is 00:03:47 We are so thankful that you guys all came out here tonight. And we are also excited because we do have a Bravo Liberty in our midst. One of the biggest stars ever come out of Top Chef Michael Voltaggio is right here Still hot It's murmurs murmurs are all over the place murmurs. Oh, I got adrenaline Happy international women's day by the way So as you look around, you'll notice you're mostly women.

Starting point is 00:04:30 I thought what better way to celebrate International Women's Day by then mocking a bunch of women, you know, with a bunch of women. Last time we were here, our first show in DC was covering the Holocaust. Yeah. Last time we were here our first show in DC was covering the Holocaust. Yeah Thank you because the Holocaust is is bad in 2019 as it was in 2018. It's still sex. Yeah, okay I can't even believe that the Holocaust that got that big of a cheer so So and also that same night that we were covering the Holocaust it it was the premiere of last season of Real Housewives of New York. And so everyone who came to our show that night, we felt so bad that we tore them away from that to talk about the Holocaust. So our make good is of course that tonight we're talking about the Real Housewives of New York premiere.

Starting point is 00:05:22 real house size of New York premiere. Which is also fucking depressing. I mean, it's no Holocaust. It's no Holocaust. No, no. But it really did make me wonder, like, how would Bethany Frankl deal with the Holocaust? Because Bethany Frankl, turning, dealing with death, was kind of hilarious.

Starting point is 00:05:42 Like, I know it's terrible. Like, what happened was terrible. I'm not saying, ha ha, Dennis Dying hilarious. Like I know it's terrible. Like what happened was terrible. I'm not saying, ha ha, Dennis Dying was hilarious. Like who would say that? No. I mean, I would. You just say.

Starting point is 00:05:51 I'm not right now. It wasn't hilarious. It was terrible and tragic. But just the way Bethany did, it's like, whatever, what are you gonna do? It's like, I give you all the energy. And then he's not there.

Starting point is 00:05:59 So what are you gonna do? He's dead. I think. We all deal with things differently. Yeah, yeah. She deals with them hilariously. Yeah, and I can't just count thank you enough, like in your time of need, bringing not much levity to it.

Starting point is 00:06:13 Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Bethany. So you guys welcome to Watch for Crafts. It's a podcast about Bravo. All the crap you love to watch on Bravo. So you guys are like Los Angeles with your your fucking turtle Huggin Non-straw using cell so I Found a way around it which are these coffee lids. Yeah

Starting point is 00:06:37 Very useful which turtles apparently wear his hats in the ocean these are fine. This spot is fine. It's a yaw. It's a yamaka in the ocean. These are fine. This pot is fine. It's a yaw, it's a yaw maca. Um, by the way, can I get a bloodlite? By the way, Chris, Chris, can I get a bloodlite? Oh, he's bringing, I've got like 19 drinks here, but I do not have a bloodlite. That's okay, that's okay. So let's dive into this, let's dive into this premiere, because I don't know, this is like the best show on TV. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:07:06 It's so good. Oh my God, I was so glad it was back. And you know, so many shows have come back. They've had a down year, probably. Let's make some of it. Vanderpump rules people are having, you know they're having babies soon. They're getting buried.

Starting point is 00:07:20 Jackson's changed. I don't care. Get it out. Clear it. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, they fighting about a god damn dog. I'm into it. I'm married, Jackson's changed, I don't care. Get it out, clear it. We're housewives of Beverly Hills, they fighting about a goddamn dog. I'm into it, I'm into it. Clear it.

Starting point is 00:07:31 What else did we put up with this year that just ended? Orange County. Orange County. Why are we coming from a place of orange County? Let's, Carl, Carl. Let's see. Carl. I personally am happy that Summer House is back. So I was, oh yeah, Summer House, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:49 But I was just worried for Real Housewives of New York after what we have all been through. Yeah, as a group. It's reasonable. And it just came back, I mean, incredible. It came back incredibly well. Yeah. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:08:01 So it starts up with like big letters on screen. It was like six months ago. Oh! Studio 54. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Girl, the editors hate the women on this show. Like, do they have a Christmas party with the women on this show where they have to I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

Starting point is 00:08:25 I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

Starting point is 00:08:33 I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

Starting point is 00:08:41 I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. And then attacking Luan at one not backstage, but when Luan was like three hours later on party after the Giovanni show. And that John was not invited to. And then, and the best is, I mean the editors really are fuckers. They have Luan on her cabaret high going, I mean, I can't wait to see what the future has in store for me. I'm so excited. Oh! Thank you. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:09:10 Whoa. Beer delivery. I did it. I did it. Surely I won't relapse. Just one year ago, I was drinking a Bud Light at a small theater in DC and I'm drinking a Bud Light at a large theater. Oh, I hate this shirt. It's so my butt. I feel my butt crack. No.

Starting point is 00:09:36 I feel the air on it. People are into it. People are into it. So she's all like, I did it. I'm famous now. I then it like freezes and goes to black and white, I'll ominously. And they show all these headlines,

Starting point is 00:09:48 they're like, Luan, seeded by her kids, and ex-husband. Luan checks back into rehab. I mean, like, I have never seen such a happier post-production department. They're like, yes. Because you know they love that Ken Burns effect in I movie, where it's like, make the news go like this,

Starting point is 00:10:04 slow back it up, you know. It's gonna be effect in iMovie? Yeah, make the news go like this. Slow, like back it up. It's gonna be Pier Choyote now reading like Luan from rehab. Diyah, Jacques. It's day 35 here and I have sent for rations and no one has come to me. I fear that my wound continues to fester. So we cut to Andy after reunion and he's like, Hey!

Starting point is 00:10:36 I look around and we're missing somebody. Carol, could you put on your Mimaw glasses? Look around and see and we see Carol in that bald gown with her Mimaw glasses. Looking like Tutsi. She's like, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Grandnessy and that we see Carol in that like ballgown with her Memos glasses looking like tootsie We're missing Hillary Clinton in the White House Andy. I'll never forget the Trump voters sitting across for me Marathon! Marathon! Marathon! So just when you're like, oh man, like, Luan did have it hard.

Starting point is 00:11:12 And then all of a sudden, Andy's like, by the way, Bethany, how's it going with Dennis? You're like, oh! And you know the sad thing is just knowing this show as we do. You know that Luan's like oh great My drama gets up stage by his drama. Yeah, of course Bethany wins. What do I have to do? I ate a baloney sandwich I'm being upstage by Dennis. I'll tell you what's dead my dignity So, you know, they could have just, they could have just, they could have just like left it with Andy saying,

Starting point is 00:11:47 what's new with Dennis, they could have done the black and white thing. But instead, they just like, let Beth and he talk. And she's like, well, you know, like, things are good, like, we're on, we're off, you know, I'll always love them, but sometimes I won't love as much, but you know what, as long as you like, where's my senior old genius, I'll be happy. You know, he's a good guy, he wears weird sweaters, okay. I'm on fire, but you know, like, what's my, like, what's going on?

Starting point is 00:12:03 Like, what's going on, like, what's going on, like, what's going on? Like, what's going on, like, what's going on? Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends. Right, somebody's at 11, somebody's at 8, I hateers, I'm not fine with it. What's the matter? Let's get on with it. Let's get on with it. Friends, that's an apron. Some days I love them, some days I hate them. Some days I want to bet. Yeah. Like, what are you going to do? I'm going to stand up and ask.

Starting point is 00:12:11 Okay, Sarah, Sarah. Sarah. And then? It's terrible. Okay, Sarah, Sarah. Yeah. In case you forgot, between yesterday and today,

Starting point is 00:12:23 what a terrible person I am. Yeah. So then, so yeah. So then we obviously see the terrible headline that Dennis died and then we cut to Bethany in the interview area, confessional, whatever. And you hear a producer say, can you talk about Dennis and she starts to get choked up just like this and it gets really quiet and then all of a sudden it says real house of New York and this like this little like tinkerbell tingle comes like this it's like you just asked about Dennis dying it's like pretty much it's like tinkerbell yeah clap if you believe it's like no it's not gonna work bravo okay by

Starting point is 00:13:03 the way Peter Bann is dead too. So, no, really sad. But, you know, this show deals with it even worse than I deal with it, because they're like, Dennis passed away. Boring. Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap's a little, this giant truck is like, barely trying to make a turn onto our tiny upreside alleyway. And she's like, so my baby's in there! That's what happens when you freeze your eggs too late.

Starting point is 00:13:41 Yeah. It's like a huge monster baby that has a moving truck to come in. I'm watching that movie virus right now. Yeah. Can you tell? Oh, my belly, yay. So. It's like an alien comes out of bed and attaches to my neck and goes in.

Starting point is 00:13:58 Oh, my baby's in there. You know, that's the sort of sci-fi I could get involved with. Where, like, the alien is a luxury car. I'm like, sure, in vain. We'd love it. Drive those prices down. Well, it explains how it drives. Because that car does not drive well.

Starting point is 00:14:14 It's like, bruh, bruh, bruh. It's like one of the aliens in virus. So, yeah, she's like, oh, my baby, in there, daddy sent me a car. Oh, oh, oh. So, then she starts, she calls her sister, she's like, dab, dab. Look at the arms, it's got the wings. Yeah, I'm just going to dab, dab, dab.

Starting point is 00:14:37 And she's wearing like, it looks like an extended bra. It's like, what was that shirt? It was like not a tank top, but it was not a bra It was like a half a camis a camisol But over a t-shirt the gin is to camisols. We don't fucking know We don't know how it works It was weird. It was over t-shirt remind me of like going to the pool of a t-shirt on. Yeah I don't understand silly petty, but I support it.

Starting point is 00:15:08 What a fun toy. So then we cut to Sonia. I don't know where that came from either, but thank you. Thank you for asking. Someone's like, what the fuck? So then we cut to Sonia walking her dog, which I think is the first time this has ever happened.

Starting point is 00:15:25 Sonia's actually, someone told Sonia you're supposed to take your dog outside the poop. Yeah. Yeah. Poor Marley. Marley thought being outside was being on the other side of computer number three. There's a world out here.

Starting point is 00:15:40 You walk around pickles and you poop. No matter where pickles is. We also get the origin story of the brown ice. Because she's like, want to go pottles? Want to go pottles? He has to run to make the poop come out. Every dog owner knows this. Fucking dogs.

Starting point is 00:15:58 Like seriously? Because you know that that's a real thing. Where the dog's like, I have to run to poop. My dog has to spin around five times. It's like every time he's like, and that's how you wind up at Shelley Tour. It was a nice lady I gave her to. A nice big brown square lady. When you went inside, she said,, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, birthday. I love international women. Like, Ramona just totally gets a holiday wrong. So then we go to Luan in the Hamptons.

Starting point is 00:16:49 And she has like a million hydrangeas that she's stuffing into a vache. Is that what those are? I think so, hydrangeas. Those big flower that's like made out of other flowers. Did I make up for the camisole moment? Okay, good. Some of us watch Barefoot Contessa, okay. That is a classic Ina Garten flower. Okay, she's like, what are my favorite things is to do? Take a whole bunch of hydrangeas, the same color and put them in a vase. I'm like,

Starting point is 00:17:12 great, thanks. So those are some big-headed flowers. I'll tell you that much. They are. So anyway, so Louis and stuffing in the mint, stuffing them into the vase, and she's on the phone with Victoria, and she's like, oh, Victoria! Oh, Victoria! Oh! Oh! I had a great idea. You know my cabaretia is on Monday,

Starting point is 00:17:32 she's like, yes, mother. Yeah, Victoria sounds like this on the other end of the phone. Oh, God. Oh, God. I thought it kept alive a great idea, Victoria. She's like, what? Is it about cabaret on Monday? It's Craig from Southern Charm. And catch a lot of great idea Victoria. She's like, what? Is it about Cabaret on Monday?

Starting point is 00:17:47 It's Craig from Southern Charm. Ah. Ah. She's like, I'm answering you on an arcade device, right now, I'm on an arcade. So she's like, oh, my love, I have a wonderful idea. You've know how that is a song to the show. Already a bad idea. You know I've added a song to the show. Already a bad idea.

Starting point is 00:18:06 Yeah, girl code. The last thing you should be adding to that show is songs. No. And I love that bitch. But I love her. I love her, but at least things saying they wouldn't sell. I'll tell you that much. So then we go over to Bethany, who's

Starting point is 00:18:24 overseeing a photo shoot for what I imagine was Skinny Girl Jeans. I'll just let the drone just... He's got a head, yeah. Skinny Girl Jeans has always got that kind of reaction, by the way, when we say it live. No matter who's passed away or what tragedy has gone on, all you have to do is say Skinny Girl and you get a full audience. So Bethany is directing it. And then I was just like, oh, my God, I got to go to bathroom. I got to go to bathroom.

Starting point is 00:18:52 I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know why I'm crying. I said, I'm crying. I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know why I'm crying. And the music in the background was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So rude. It really is rude. It's just, it's just rude. It really is rude. It's just rude. The music department thinks they're hilarious. It's just really rude. By the way, was anyone else during when this is all happening? Was anyone else like feeling like an adrenaline rush of like every time someone was like reintroducing? Oh my god, there they are again. I was totally fanning out. I'm always on face to watch. Because I feel like it's like what I really,

Starting point is 00:19:26 ever since I stopped on following political people on Facebook, like literally all I have are like animal videos, you know? Like, it's the same thing. That dog got a puppy. I have that kind of stuff. And I get a lot of time lapse videos for some reason. Where you see like a flower being planted and then it grows and dies like in one second.

Starting point is 00:19:43 And I feel like that's a new episode of a housewives season. We're like oh my god it's like you popped you press pause right at the end of the time last year. It's like what happened to that flower. It's like Ramona. Speaking of which next up, whoa, whoa, and sory, sory. Sorry, all right? Whoa, I'm renovating my part of it. It's time for a renovation maven, okay? Okay, sorry, right? I'm renovating my, I wanted to renovate place,

Starting point is 00:20:24 but then I thought I want to see my place, you know? So now I'm gonna sell my place. That'll came, Mikey. Okay, what? Okay, I'm like jerking. She is dressed like she's going to the Oscars first of all. Or like her sweets, her sweet 60-eam party. Like this is crazy dress.

Starting point is 00:20:41 Ramona blue, of course. Well, I'm dressed up because after this, I'm going out with my best friend, Slash Dota Avery. But basically like sisters, except I'm 67 years old and she's 21. So her real estate guy is Mikey, who you know is gay because he's her real estate person. Like, any straight guy would run the hell out of there.

Starting point is 00:21:04 I'll tell you right that. Yeah, he's just the hell out of there. I'll tell you right that. Yeah. He's just in it for the stories. I'm telling you right now. Yeah. Like literally Instagramming the whole thing. He's like, girl, do it again! How much is the square footage, bitch?

Starting point is 00:21:16 But then Ramona doesn't care. She's flirting anyway. So he's like, all right, listen here, money, money, blue, blue. Here's what we've got gotta do to sell this place. I suggest bringing in some show beds, Razzle Dazzle. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:21:31 Whoa. You can razzle me with your eyes. Yeah, you razzle dazzle me with your eyes, okay? You sure you gay? He's like, I just used a lyric from Chicago to try and find your outfit. I'm like, I just used a lyric from Chicago to try and find a higher outfit. How much gayer can I be? So then, he's like, I don't believe you.

Starting point is 00:21:56 I think I've got a marble egg up my ass since this morning, preparing for a day in two days. I'm gay. Okay? Are you sure? Don't look gay to me. Look at my handsome ex-husband Mario. Except gay. Oh, now I get it.

Starting point is 00:22:12 Let's face it, it's time for commercial break. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but if we don't take one, it's going to be very day-class set. Okay. It's gonna be every day class set, okay? Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident,

Starting point is 00:22:47 not-so-expert-experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

Starting point is 00:23:07 So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, so then we go over to Durinda. Feel so weird like I'm drinking from a coffee, like I feel like I'm drinking coffee. It's not coffee, it's just vodka. But I do feel like,

Starting point is 00:23:31 oh, it's chilly this morning, ain't it, Paz? Yeah. It's not about the coffee. Did you guys see that? I'm so sorry because we don't have all night, but did you see that video? Okay. Jack's posted a video that is supposedly of James

Starting point is 00:23:50 at a DJ event in Oklahoma where Jack's and Brittany were off, I don't know, beer cheese jerking off. Who knows what they were doing? They were all there. So there's this guy behind a window and he's snorting, he's like, and it gets up and it's a frosted window, but it looks, have you seen this? I don't know what you're talking about. It looks like James', it looks like James' chromagnin boning.

Starting point is 00:24:13 Like, look, I have it. I recognize it. See how my head goes out like this, like an arning. Was it softening a lot? Yeah, kind of, well, I mean, it's snorting. So you know, you snort it and then you come up and you're like, so it's kind of bubbling. You can't tell. So Jack's posted and it was like, God, well, I mean it's snorting so you know you snort it and you come up and you're like So it's kind of bubbling you can't tell So Jack's posted and it was like caught no Oklahoma well some blog prints it Well podcast said it some shitty podcast with no respect no respect It's just kidding. I don't know them and then they said it and so all the blogs picked it up and Jack's like oh no

Starting point is 00:24:43 Yeah, we saw him. He was totally there. That was from a year ago on YouTube. Jack, you shady, shady, hilarious little bitch. He's just a douche who can't say no. Also, Oklahoma. My question is, how is that even bad? Except that now everybody on Bravo's gonna be asking James for his Coke.

Starting point is 00:25:01 Like, was it suddenly bad to be a Coke and on Bravo? We wouldn't have a channel Let's all calm down, right? So then we go to Durinda speaking That was that was that was a good smooth intro there. Yeah, well, what you guys connect dots So Durinda is there with professional gay best friend Luke Famously from ladies of London

Starting point is 00:25:31 He's been released from Caroline Sandberg's basements. Yes, he's made it from Dubai, you know So Luke listen listen, guys, we love our girls, but but we're stopping so fake with our girls, okay? This is how, this is Luke, he goes, only you would be in the park with your glasses on. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Waki Duranda. I truly miss that, that's what. That's what? He's lost a lot of weight. And she's like, well, you know, I was inspired by you, and then you know Carol did show you know Carol can do it, and she's basically, you know, like a waste of space.

Starting point is 00:26:19 Am I right, everyone? So like... Who says you can't let cards news wait? I mean, she's standing on the bread line, huh? You know what? I've just been spending my summer up in the Berkshire. Just doing me, you know, eating healthy, working out, drinking martinis, warm martinis. I got a new train, it's named Miss Tilo.

Starting point is 00:26:44 You know, I get to meet up in the Mo. Let me make sure I'm in bed. I like You know what I just realized that nothing good happens when you have a few drinks, you know And I don't handle alcohol well. I just realized that I'm like you've had like four years of like documented evidence And you just realized that now Please keep drinking though, please like me the first's like me the first time I hit 300 pounds, and was like, maybe it's gluten. Maybe it's a billion. Oh.

Starting point is 00:27:16 So, yeah. So he's like, oh, I can't believe it. You've lost weight. And she's like, well, I got a headache. It can't be healthy. And he's like, he goes, but what started you on this path? What made you think of that? He's like, you know, he's my job, we're planning you.

Starting point is 00:27:33 You guys, you three guys, we're going to your self. And he's like, so it wasn't anybody saying things to you. You know, some aren't saying they have to turn. You're about to turn. It wasn't that time that Luan called street sweeping to your house at six in the morning to get you off the sidewalk. I was like, what's going on? I love Luan, Della said.

Starting point is 00:27:55 So they start talking about Luan. And, you know, Derainda is still obviously very upset about that whole Luan situation. You know, that situation where Lueyam was like, oh, she's getting drunk, like, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and we're stronger to head. And this whole thing is, because he says, when he says, you know, people have said before that you can turn or get nasty,

Starting point is 00:28:34 it's just, no one said that. No one, ah, ah. That was the Lou Whanly's um. That was the Lou Whanly's um. Like, oh, okay. Yeah, that was just Luann saying that, okay. So then she's, yeah, then we get a montage of during the just being drunk as fuck,

Starting point is 00:28:52 which is hilarious. So good. So good. So good. But hilarious. It was sad, hilarious. This entire episode, really. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:00 There is some dark shit in every scene of this episode. So this was hers where she's like, come here. Come here. And you know, we take things and we make them 10,000 times worse than they really were, right? Yeah, I feel like we've really been subtle with our clips. I don't remember Duranda being that.

Starting point is 00:29:21 She's literally like, come here. She is. She has a full extension, a full extension. Z. So then, like a hot shirtless guy goes running by, and I like to Rinda talking gay. She starts going, Waaak, Waaak! Rukicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicic Wow! Okay! Ah! Broom! Trying to pick up the roof, all thing.

Starting point is 00:29:47 Broom! Hey, hey, hey! And he's like, I don't like them with that little hair tie on top. What did he say? Little hair tie, little man bun, whatever. Yeah, he's a man, and he's like, I don't enjoy the hair top tie. Whatever it was. She's like, you're leased at it, a lovely, cracking had a man friend. He's like, I don't enjoy the head top tie. Whatever it was. She's like, you need to do the loving, like, and land him, right?

Starting point is 00:30:10 That explains so much about your relationship with John. That's why he hates us asked during the daytime, you know, during the day, she said, shut up, John, you're going to get my drink, and then night she's like climbing him like a, yeah, I sure remember the first time we saw Jon, I said something like I can just imagine to read a climb and bat in her flip flops it like...

Starting point is 00:30:32 middle of the night. I still think a bit. Thank you for reintroducing that image to all of us. So then we go to Bethany. Bethany is at her house and she's got like a bunch of friends. It kind of felt like... She was was trying to recast the show, to umbrella. There's like Maddie and Gina and Jimmy.

Starting point is 00:30:51 I was like, who are these people? Yeah, those are some made up names. It's like, Jimmy, Sarah. And also, they were all her age and didn't speak. And I was like, they're real friends. Yeah. So Gina's like, hey, Bethany, I got you some Cheshatopepers that gets Cheshater else, okay?

Starting point is 00:31:09 Cheshater, what the fuck? What's that? What's Cheshatop's makeup? Yeah, what is this? We're gonna say the wrong words around me. I'm gonna shut up, okay? I'm gonna shut up, how about you guys have a skin and girl dictionary, okay?

Starting point is 00:31:16 No more NATO, what about Sharknado, what about that? Alright then, some girl, I think it's Maddie. I think she comes downstairs, she's wearing like leather shorts or something, and she's like, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh ladies like, when else am I supposed to wear these? They're like leather hot pants, you know, or those short shorts or whatever. Yeah. So then, they're like, we just wanted to make sure you're good, Bethany. And I was like, please don't make me watch Bethany more than a bikini. I can't. I can't.

Starting point is 00:31:55 And that's exactly what happened. It was like a sad thing about like a text message and the, you know, it was just, it was legitimately like sad and sweet and all that. and then you they just about to be talking about this thing about Dennis and they cut to Gina just frowning and I was like she's pissed about the chichito thing isn't she she's like the fucking bitch always corrects me always corrects me yeah how hard it was to find those hydrated Joe's I couldn't find those anywhere chichito pepper fuck her yeah fuck them I'm gonna call them chich as if I want to fuck that woman

Starting point is 00:32:26 So Beth me tells this story she's like I'm going to scroll through the rest of my Bethany sadness because really she spoke so much because she does grieve like Bethany would grieve. She doesn't break character for a second and I know that that's her real personality. It's not a character but like she's just like always so Bethany, you know. So Bethany, well that's why even when she's mourning is like, I'm like, I you win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, win, I win, I win, form, after like, they're crying in the sadness, you know, you're listening to her like really truly like grieve on camera That's just you know what? Let's just like live every day Like you know what? You take that time to talk about what I learned. You know what? Right now I could like put a piece of toast in my fingers What that boom I'm dead, you know? So you know how this party is having an orgy. Come on. Yeah, it's having an orgy. You know what? It's hot fuck right now. Come on. So you got the fuck on them. It's hot fuck. Come on.

Starting point is 00:33:43 So, uh, next is like a very important thing. We now get the debut of Sonya's new apartment. Wow. Wow. It's like this. I'm actually like this. It's like a... See, I can't get that remote.

Starting point is 00:34:03 No, OK. No. OK. OK. Wait, hold on. Let's reach the that remote. No, okay. No, okay. Okay. Okay. We're on the Swedish Living Room. Okay. Okay. Let's go to the living room. Oh, it's nice in here. Roomy. Oh, I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, it's on the other. Mm. You know what? Can we put on... I'm our assistant tailor.

Starting point is 00:34:24 You know, I think we need... I think we need some better decor in here. It's a little bright, don't you feel it's a little bright? Do you have any, maybe towels or something? Because we can't pay for the window coverings yet. I'm going to be a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a

Starting point is 00:34:52 little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a Yeah, I mean, they're coming in but not until we paint the place pink so I then we're gonna ebay their tabels and you know go to lunch hard waking up with the sun on me I know someone who can do interior jobs. Oh, okay. I can't see it. Oh, that's much better. I can't see it anymore

Starting point is 00:35:20 Like just sleep with the fucking towel on your head Sonya, okay? She's taping, she's taping Tows to Windows, because she can't get the window coverings yet. Girl. So, Sonya's there in her new, like, her new bachelor, and she's there with Marley. Her new bachelor. And, yeah, when Sonya says that she's dating a bachelor, she really means her.

Starting point is 00:35:42 So, I love this. Ramona shows up and you see her get out of her like town car whatever and she's like walking up to this building, she's like, I mean, I don't understand. Why is this building so shitty and not on a highway? Get it? Whoa. Yeah, she is like jerking around like her head's jerking around and she sees it. So then Sonia, typical fucking Sonia, she's like, oh Ramona is here.

Starting point is 00:36:11 She goes to her closet and just grabs from the floor. This is her hall closet, by the way, underwear. She's like, this is so Sonya. So then Ramona comes in and can anybody be more Ramona than fucking Ramona? Oh my god, this crate can't believe it. Look at me. And she's like, you look so fancy, Ramona. Yeah, because I got two dates.

Starting point is 00:36:44 I got one for drinks, one for dinner. This so fancy, you're a man, and she's like, yeah, because I got two dates, okay? I got one for drinks, and one for dimmin', this is not what you're doing, wow! Each... Whoa! Each date is going to hold a different glass. First date is going to hold a small glass with one line. The second date is going to hold a tall glass with two lines and a little bit of tequila. And the third date is going to hold a wide glass that has no tequila and a piece of watermelon in soy. Okay?

Starting point is 00:37:06 Oh! Oh! Oh! So Sonia's embarrassed because she's living in, you know, I don't wanna say like- Squaller. Yeah. I think she just saved five minutes off this show, basically.

Starting point is 00:37:20 So they walk it, I mean, the doors, the apartment can barely open because there's a couch in the hallway. Oh yeah. That's not supposed to be here. We're gonna eBay that. Yeah. A Nigerian soccer team gave this to me in Santa Pei. We're gonna eBay it and use those proceeds to get a coffee. You know, I just feel so much wider without the hustle and bustle of the townhouse.

Starting point is 00:37:48 I mean, now I'm in the park every day. Both? Just wake up and I'm in a park. I'm literally woken up in the park four days this week. And I'm in the park. Thank God for Taylor. And poor Taylor is running around like Kathy and the Jimmy in the back of soap dish where Kathy

Starting point is 00:38:05 Nejimmi's the assistant who's like, oh, is everything okay? Is everything okay? What do you mean it's the last? What do you mean? Oh, they're terrible. You're fired. Just kidding. Taylor, who I think is my favorite assistant?

Starting point is 00:38:24 Taylor. Because Taylor is a big girl, which of course, a big girl loved big girl, okay? Taylor, who I think is my favorite assistant. Because Taylor is a big girl, which of course, a big girl, love big girl, okay? She's gorgeous, she looks way too smart for this fucking job. And she looks at Sonya like she's a fucking moron the whole time. She's like, you want to tape these to the... I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say,

Starting point is 00:38:47 I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say,

Starting point is 00:38:55 I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say,

Starting point is 00:39:03 I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, No, it's a great, it's a useful prop. It's very useful. The thing about cold places is it's only cold outside. Yeah. Then you come inside and wearing long underwear. I'm like, don't worry, we have a towel for you. Just don't get a two-sweighed, you're not going to get sunny soon. Did you see me move from here to there, then back to here?

Starting point is 00:39:23 So anyway. Call curves. So she's giving Ramona a tour around this whole place. She's like, yeah, the kid wants me to have pink walls. He's like, whoa, no. It should all be different shades of gray. Basically, white gray, lighter gray, and a little bit less lighter gray.

Starting point is 00:39:48 Okay? Because I'm sexual. I'm very sexual woman, okay? It's it, shades of gray, right? It's it. Sorry. Sonia has this huge painting. I guess that her daughter did of rabbits.

Starting point is 00:40:04 It's like did of rabbits. It's like hundreds of rabbits. It looks like the end of the favorite. Have you guys seen that? Very depressing rapiness in Sonya's house. It's like this is the most depressing episode of New York I've ever sat through already. Yeah, without the rabbit.

Starting point is 00:40:19 I loved it. So they finally like they settle down. They of course are talking about Bethany and everything. And they also plant the seed that'll be going out to the Hamptons. So they start talking about it at Ramona now. This is like philosophical Ramona. She's like, you know what?

Starting point is 00:40:34 Death, it's very difficult to deal with, okay? It's a reflection, it's mirror image. Like when I look at A for you, it's mirror image, you know? It's mirror image at the time. You have the flimited here. Sometimes we just feel Felt okay Just can live out ever We think we'll live forever like me Mario, but guess what? We can't when I was a little girl I used to think I could live forever in this one time

Starting point is 00:41:00 Geraldine Parsmith was like You're gonna draw you're gonna draw young to this day. I'm afraid of joy because of Geraldine Parsonsmith was like, you're gonna draw, you're gonna draw young to this day I'm afraid of drawing because of Geraldine Parsonsmith, okay? You know, when I heard about Dennis, I sent Beth me a text. It was an emoji. Well, I had to send her a text.

Starting point is 00:41:21 Wow. I sent her an emoji of a little chick coming out of an egg. Then an eggplant. So I could show what eggplant's grown from broken eggs. I just felt so bad. Because you know what? Bethany doesn't have any friends. Okay, so. It's like real sad. Like, if you don't have any friends, but then you find one friend, then that friend dies.

Starting point is 00:41:42 It's like, you don't have any friends. Zero. What are you gonna do zero friends? Zer-friends! I felt so bad that I actually called up Erica Jane. I said you better send a note and here's what the note said That's it. It's a bit making some... It has come to my attention that a party or a party is no longer present.

Starting point is 00:42:19 My deepest regrets upon this, and I look forward to seeing you at a future time. Sincerely, I'll join. So, things didn't work out with you and the men, so I ain't. Who's our brand now? Sincerely, Eric of Jane. So over in Sagarber, Luana is assessing out the new special effects on our Cabaret show. She's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, shit. She pokes like a canopy that has water and all the water comes up, she's like,

Starting point is 00:42:50 oh, oh, oh, oh. It's like every two seasons she has to have an experience with natural disaster or something. Like the time's tried to light a fireplace. No. Poor Louan. She only has her dog there, you know which I get. I'm like, Bueller, can you believe what you, he's like, oh, he just looks like

Starting point is 00:43:09 seriously. And that's so Aston, Louan's dog. She's like, Aston, we're lucky that didn't clap. Hey. The dog's like, so then, uh, send the Wanda the next day. I'm sorry, I have to say. Yeah. But shit, Aston, we're lucky that didn't collapse. Wow, that was a headline for all her reviews. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Well, thank God Luanda didn't collapse on stage. Page six.

Starting point is 00:43:38 So then, Luanda, here's why I love that Luanda. You sort of never really know what she's going to do next. Like, she's always full of surprises. And in this case, all of a sudden, she like gets on a Vespa and rides across her lawn. It's like, p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p I'm just gonna say it, okay? So while she's doing like NASCAR on her lawn, our newest cast member, Barbara. Barbara. Hey, this is...

Starting point is 00:44:10 Hey, LeWan. What are you doing, LeWan? I don't even get to say that. Barbara has like a skew eyes. I can just say that they're a skew. It's like, you know, you're-Man? I don't even understand it. Barbara has like a skew eyes. I can just say that they're a skew.

Starting point is 00:44:29 It's like, look, all our ladies love their plastic surgery. But I've never seen anybody being like, make my eyes like the guy from the goonies. You know that guy? What's his name? He had one eye up here on the other right there in here. I just feel like, listen, I'm sorry, I don't apologize when he did that to yourself, okay? I just feel like she's like an off brand-lea remanade

Starting point is 00:44:51 or something, you know? Really off. It's okay. How dare you, that's a thing. What are you groaning at me? So anyway, so Barbara shows up, and I'm like, oh, don't mind me, I'm just charging my best buddies. This is the most tenuous relationship, by the way. And I speak as someone with a mother who is just like a real housewife, but of like El Paso, like it's low rent. But my mom

Starting point is 00:45:24 and one of my friends is here, our mothers are friends, and you know this shit is true. When your mom's are friends, and she's like, Barbara and I became friends years ago. I didn't have any friends here, so we both took our kids to the same camp, and we met while our kids were in the sand pit. That's a gay bar.

Starting point is 00:45:42 Yeah. So that is a tenuous friendship. I'm just saying that right now. Luan's like, oh, you ride motorcycles. You can even change a tire. You're a Miss DIY. Do we yourself it? You know, Barbara was sitting there

Starting point is 00:46:03 and be like, I'm gonna let you say that once I'm gonna let you fuck it up because I don't approve of doing it yourself projects, so right because I'm in construction Which you can tell because I brought you a toolkit. Do you like it? Yeah? So this is so this is where the WAN starts to give us the backstory about what was going on in that lawsuit So she she's like, well, you know, it was summertime and living is easy. I needed a change. The TV shows were different. I was like, I don't need to be in SAG Harbor. Who needs to SAG when you can be in the Berkshire's?

Starting point is 00:46:35 Berks, sounds like Perk, right? You know me, one with the jokes. The cat skills, it spoke to me. Luan trying to move to the cat skills is the funniest fucking thing that's ever happened on the show, OK? So I just thought, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to sell this house. Sell it.

Starting point is 00:46:52 Liquidate my kids' bank accounts. Liquid. So I could choose. And just drive up the teconic and find a spot. You know, turns out the children didn't like that. This is a way. Why? Don't do that.

Starting point is 00:47:05 Sorry, last time I checked, none of my kids have a Pandora station. So anyway, I just went off the rails to our drinking gang, not saying it's their fault, but you know, probably wouldn't have happened if they hadn't sued me. I mean, being told what to do by little Miss Grant with no royalties coming is pretty amusing. I'm gonna told that joke at the Catskills, but that dreams dead. Thanks a lot, Victoria! Ah, I guess maybe I should have added her to the show before the lawsuit. Talk about girl code.

Starting point is 00:47:42 So then Barbara, Barbara talks about... Lou Ann's version of her story the past year is hilarious. That was a great way to just get through it. And she does it through the whole episode. Well, you know, it's driving a lot, boom, jail, I got thrown in jail. And that one famous. The end, like- So Barbara started telling us about the night that they had to be intervention. She's like, the wind wasn't of sound munged in body.

Starting point is 00:48:10 She was a mess. A big fucking mess. But I got a toolkit, so you know. We had to do something about it. So me and Bethany, we were like Charlie's Angels Full throttle the one that no one saw so Yeah, it's like done Done done done Barbara. She's all low energy

Starting point is 00:48:44 So yeah, so Luana is 52 days sober. And she's like, oh, I just, did I get my kids see me sober? Yeah, I just realized it. I just realized it. That's 52 days. 53 days. I don't know. I'm sober though. 52 or 53 days,'t know.

Starting point is 00:49:05 I'm sober though, 52 or 53 days, you know. I mean, for my kids to see me sober, it means so much. I mean, they're not sober, which is the best part, because they see two of me, you know. And then having two non-sobber kids, they're seeing four sober lüves. How many hundreds of days do I have now? Give me more chips, I need a margarita, my right boys.

Starting point is 00:49:28 If only they could have seen me sober in the brochures. Oh, hell. So now we go to Trina Turk, where Tinsley is meandering around. Oh my god, Tinsley in a hippie store, LOL. OK? How dare you, yons, sir. I'm finding you. The front row.

Starting point is 00:49:43 I saw you. You did mention Tinsley'all, sir. I'm finding you. The front row. I saw you. You did mention Tinsley, though, so. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. I don't know where I am either. Okay, so Tinsley's at Trinidad Turck. On the heels of Luan, you know, talking about she's sober, they cut to like the clerk being like, and here's a cocktail and Tinsley's like,

Starting point is 00:50:02 oh, great, cheers to myself. So cut to sobriety to someone just drinking by themselves in the middle of the store. Yeah, welcome to New York. And this one's like that fake New York hippie, which I love. He's like in a floor-length cotton. I don't want to say gown, but you know. I'll see you know what, there.

Starting point is 00:50:18 We all own one. We all have it. So Dorenda shows up and there's like, yeah, shopping, shopping, shopping. They're talking about like like ten z's spending a lot of time in Chicago She doesn't cook so Durinda's like Okay, I Got a tip you're only got you this one for me and not from every little sitcom you've ever seen ever since the dawn of time What you do is you order some food and you put it in the oven.

Starting point is 00:50:46 And then you make the little thing where you twist it and you wait for it until it goes ding, and when it goes ding, you go, loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo That's some chicken con and then John goes, loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo That's a good one, thanks, Durinda. Yeah. It's all a presentation. Wow, you made a very authentic big Mac.

Starting point is 00:51:12 So, anyway, they start there talking about Luan, and Durinda hasn't talked about, hasn't talked with Luan. She's like, hey, you see in a minute, you know. You have Durinda, Durinda does that housewives thing where she's saying, oh, they're speaking of you so clearly, Luan And Tensley's like, no, I'm using No, I don't care I don't give a fuck about that, I ain't gonna look for Dukeant

Starting point is 00:51:35 You know, you know That does actually look like the merchandise that was in there It's hippie merchandise It's from Walmart $2 Walmart towel merchandise Yeah, I went to Walmart today for this show So It's hippy merchandise. It's for Walmart. $2 Walmart towel merchandise. Yes. I went to Walmart today for this show. So he's from the North.

Starting point is 00:51:50 He doesn't get it. He doesn't get it. So I went to a Walmart. Long story short, this show comes full circle because Dorenda does like a 23 and me thing and finds out that she's part Moroccan. So there you go. This is not Dorenda Bentley.

Starting point is 00:52:04 This is Morocco. But Dorenda also does that thing where she's part Moroccan. So there you go. This is not to rent a Bentley. This is Morocco. But Durinda also does that thing where she's like, you know what, hey about that thing, and seeing it happen with Danny and things. You know what, I think I think that when something like that happens, you need to hear from super close people. You need to hear from me. So I send her a text. Yeah, you hear from me. So I send her text.

Starting point is 00:52:25 I'm like, what the fuck? Now when Wastikhal and be like, you want to sob on the phone uncontrollably about your dead partner, nobody wants to be that person, right? Yeah. But you have to be that person. What the fuck? Lisa Vanderpump would not survive on this show.

Starting point is 00:52:42 Everybody just sent a text. So now we go back to Sonya's apartment. Is there anything else you want to say about Trinoturk? Who loves who cares? OK. So we're back at Sonya's apartment. And now Taylor's there. And Taylor is making peanut butter sandwiches in the kitchen.

Starting point is 00:53:00 And Sonya's like in the bed. Which is so sony a catering. I love that. Sonya has an assistant to make a fucking peanut butter sandwich. Yeah. And while she's making this peanut butter sandwich, and Sony goes, uh, Taylor is a breath of fresh air. I'm like she's making peanut butter sandwiches.

Starting point is 00:53:18 What sort of help did you have before? Tony's like, where is Taylor? Where is she? This is crazy. What is she doing down there? And Taylor's like, so she brings in him and the door is closed. So she's holding a big breakfast tray. So she has to like kick the door, you know?

Starting point is 00:53:35 And she's like, what is that? When he said noise, Taylor, I was wondering, where you were and what that noise was. Oh, that peanut butter. I was honestly convinced it was going to turn into one of those sitcom episodes where like the cast gets like locked up on the rooftop. No, the door closed behind us. We're trapped in Sonya's room.

Starting point is 00:53:56 So, it's like just on that on 227, honestly. And then you know that Sonya has heard like a transcript of Luan in prison because she goes what's today? Toaster oatmeal Like that's her high class like the fucking love so Nioh man. It's like that so ridiculous the Shaw skank Shaw skank I kid I love so yeah, I don't think she's skank at all. It's International Women's Day So anyway, that's a skank at all. It's International Women's Day. So anyway, that's where the towel stuff all happens.

Starting point is 00:54:29 So she's like, what are you making? The test for the oatmeal. Do you have the shoe and Taylor goes the folder? She's like, the shoe folder. Oh my god. So Sonya doesn't have any closets apparently. So aligning her walls are like her racks of shoes that she sells, you know, all wrapped in paper and stuff.

Starting point is 00:54:46 And she's like, we have to make sure those are sent out on time. You know, my life is so busy. She's doing the scene from her bed. Yes, reading the post, reading the post. While someone makes a peanut butter sandwich, one of the easiest sandwiches to ever make, by the way. But she's folder.

Starting point is 00:55:04 That just, I just started to imagine Sonya on like pyramid. Be like, OK, this thing, it's a shoe, it's a folder. I just started to imagine Sonia on life pyramid. Be like, okay, this thing is a shoe, it's a folder. A shoe folder! So, yeah, so they start hanging up the towels, because Mr. Death, like Sinchilla is going to come by. I'm like, I'm sure it will not be a mood killer at all when he comes in and sees towels taped to the window. But she makes sure that her initials are facing out. The water gun.

Starting point is 00:55:30 Yeah. Aren't they like, zekt? What are her initials? Sonya, Tremont, it's zekt, right? What is it? She had too many initials for a monogram of rascam. This is why people don't win game shows. This is why people are helping them.

Starting point is 00:55:46 I'm like, what? Will they say, man? $1. OK. And she's like, look at all those people in the restaurant. They just look in here, Taylor. And they show the restaurant across the street. And they're all looking like, what the fuck is going on down

Starting point is 00:55:59 there? She's sending them cameo bills. So now we go to Ramona at home, which is really could be a spin off that I'm really open to. Um, at Ramona. So Ramona is at home. And this guy, all right, settle down everyone. What's happening over there? Oh no, what's happening? I think it's actually, I think this actually turned well, all right, settle down everyone. What's happening over there? Oh no, what's happening?

Starting point is 00:56:25 I think this actually turned into the press's right. Yeah, be quiet. What? You're a towel, something with it. Oh. Oh, this is. Thank you. We were so confused.

Starting point is 00:56:39 I was like, they're turning. This is my greatest is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is...

Starting point is 00:56:51 This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is...

Starting point is 00:56:59 This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is my greatest fear in these shows. This is my greatest fear in these shows. This is my greatest fear in these shows. of course it's fucking happening in DC, I don't even vote. Okay, someone made a tell that says, STAM! I thought that's what it says. STAM!

Starting point is 00:57:11 STAM for Sonia's monogram. I just held the mic up to the towel as if the towel was gonna say something. Thank you so much for following us here with this towel, because I was like, what's happening? That was a good quick turnaround I think it nachos in the back, okay? I don't need to change it. So now we go to Ramona at home So this guy walks in and he's like hello Ramona

Starting point is 00:57:36 I'm on a I'm Boris nice to meet you and he kisses her hand. I Have never seen a swimming instructor kiss someone's hand. Okay, this guy is this Russian guy named Boris, which is hilarious because like the whole country is talking about Russian collusion. And of course it's Ramona at the end of the day. He's colluding this whole fucking time. Sir Ramona is like, I'll give you a place to stay. If you teach me how to swim, Russia, okay? There, that's it.

Starting point is 00:58:08 Whoa, I was talking to my girlfriend, Tina, saying I really need to learn how to swim. I mean, like, this is like ridiculous. I can't swim. I always sink. You could be, you could just imagine, the way I was like, you never fucking swim. You know what, man, times I tried to drown you. How many stones does it take? You just imagine the way I was like, you never fucking swinkin'. You know what man? Time to try to drown you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. How many stones does it take? It's my question.

Starting point is 00:58:29 Yeah, well I never even thought of it because I'm always swimming. It's been my friend told me, I got this guy, it's not very cheap. But he stayed there, said to your eyes, spread it, didn't he? Bones, you against the wall. Like that, I'm like, wait a minute.

Starting point is 00:58:43 Like, if I went out into the ocean, I would die. I would die. I would die. I would die. I would die. And then down the guy, this guy's like, hello Ramon. All right.

Starting point is 00:58:57 He is what we do to slay him. Take off your shirt. You're like, oh, hey. Whoa. That's my shirt. You're cute. Look, I'm just gonna say it one time, one time only. Cause I'm embarrassed. Just to shrinking, oh, hey. Whoa. That's my shirt. You're cute. Look, I'm just going to say it one time, one time only, because I'm embarrassed.

Starting point is 00:59:07 Just to shrink it, by the way. You're hot. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. And then she says the most productive thing that Ramona has ever said. Nice trunks. Whoa. Nice trunks.

Starting point is 00:59:23 And he's like, yes, it's a swim, because in summer, we swim. I was like, this guy is totally bringing you down the government. What slim instructor wears trunks that say swim? No. Very on message. No. So Ramona gets in the pool, so let's set the stage here.

Starting point is 00:59:45 Oh! Whoa! How do I? I'm sinking. I'm sinking to the bottom. I like to do it. Well, it's crazy. You can't believe it must swim.

Starting point is 00:59:53 You can't believe it must swank. And he's like, oh, oh, oh. I'm like, why are you laughing? Whoa. Why are you laughing right now, you guys? I'm not laughing. Whoa. I'm smiling.

Starting point is 01:00:01 I'm like, I'm sinking. I'm sinking to the bottom. I like to do it. Well, it's crazy. You can't believe it must swim. You can't believe it must swank. And he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm so, why are you laughing? Whoa, why are you laughing right now, you guys? I'm not laughing. Well, I'm smiling. He's like, you, oh, laugh.

Starting point is 01:00:12 He's like, you match my noodles. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Oh, ha! Just, what are you laughing about? I could be dead right now. He's like, oh, yeah, you want to be dead on top of me? She's like, oh, that's great. He goes, oh, I love me teach you. Let me teach you to do breaststroke. She goes, oh, that's good, that's my breast, just saying. Bethany has no friends. And he's like, do you want the yellow flute or the black flitch is

Starting point is 01:00:49 Yellow yellow yellow Go ahead. Oh, yeah yellow yellow. Get the fellow And Boris is a fucking disgusting, okay the Boris goes me like Me like fucking disgusting, okay? The Boris goes, me like, ha ha ha, me like, it's like, fuck this show. I'm like a regular, Greg Louganis.

Starting point is 01:01:16 Anyway. It was worth the trip to Walmart, didn't you think? Yeah. I've never felt so secure on stage. So you're very flexible. And she's like, yeah, I've been told that. And he goes, are you feeling good? And she goes, I'm feeling a lot of things. That's for sure.

Starting point is 01:01:41 I was like, wait and make no one want wanna buy that house with that pool, man. At that point, Putin's like, you know what? Let's bring him all back. Yeah, forget it. Yeah, let's forget it. Come back to Motherland. This, we put our spies in danger. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:56 Putin's like, there's gotta be another country that needs social meddling, you know? So now we go to Tinzli and Sonia driving in a car, which is really a great cautionary tale. If you guys are past yellow yellow gets the fellow. The fuck is that? I'm not over it. I don't think that's a thing.

Starting point is 01:02:17 Yellow yellow gets the fellow. Like, what is the proper context for that? There isn't one. So Tinsley's drive. Okay, this is pretty amazing. So Tinsley's like, I can't drive! I used to drive a long time ago but it's been so long! Do I still need my passport?

Starting point is 01:02:43 And then you've got Sonia who's like, oh, you know, just only my passport. And then you've got Sonia, who's like, oh, you know, just, you know. I was gonna take on the best because that's where I can shit on my pants, right? Yeah. Is that anybody giving me any trouble? Yeah. I once fucked a chauffeur and he was great.

Starting point is 01:02:58 Didn't learn anything, but man, talk about a ride, am I right, everyone? I'm letting Tinsley drive me, because she's excited. I'm like, and you don't have $5 for the Jitney, so you're like, come on. So Tinsley presses a button and goes like, Dingsley! No!

Starting point is 01:03:19 By the way, if you haven't driven for a while and you see a button press and then that fucking back part of the car goes, beep, beep, beep, that is terrifying if you've never seen that. It's how cars are now. I don't drive anymore. Do you know how hard it is to close one of this? You're like, it's like, how does anybody leave in the hurry? Fuck you, cars.

Starting point is 01:03:42 You're electric. So they start to cry big. And Tinsley, I don't think she's even ever seen a road before. She's like, oh, do I turn here? And she's like, yes. And she's like, oh, it's blinking yellow. Did I get a fellow? She's like, what does that mean?

Starting point is 01:04:05 Is that something new? So I'm just like, um, it means go slowly. But you're doing great. You're doing great. Great. Ah! Where's the go-back, where's Batten? Oh, why don't we try to go forward?

Starting point is 01:04:20 Maybe you want to make a left-hinsley? Is that, no? New York is terrifying. What a terrifying place to live. I drove there one time because my friend was fucking this rich guy, and he had a car. I felt like Tinslee, but I do drive. You know, I know how to drive.

Starting point is 01:04:36 It is so difficult. And I accident, you know, because the burrow, bridge, freeway, bloody blobs, whatever you have to, New York's not a normal place to drive. It's like, turn off here to go here and you go and it's like this big, the road is this big. And there's potholes after your car's like, boom, boom, boom, it's like jumping down.

Starting point is 01:04:53 I got in trouble for fucking up the rims. So sorry, Jean. Well, you know, but I get it. I get it. I get it more. For the first time ever, I get you, Timzli. So now we arrive at Bethany's house. And, Bethany is putting out a platter, but not just any platter.

Starting point is 01:05:11 A seafood platter. I do not cosine this. I'm telling you that right now. Now, who, who here has like a serious allergy? Like, does anyone here have like a nut allergy or something like that or something like that? Would you ever touch or handle the thing that you're definitely allergic to? No, let me explain something because I have a whole family of fake allergies. Yeah, and by the way, feel free to talk. It's a whole family full of allergies. If people are talking and you're trying to listen, feel free to tell them to shut up.

Starting point is 01:05:46 You, you're down there. You, you contingent of eight talky talkies. You better shut up. We're gonna make talkamali out of you and eat you with chips. Love you. But yeah, suffocating allergies. Okay, so my family has real ones.

Starting point is 01:06:03 I don't think Bethany's are fake. I am an old Caudji person who's like, yeah, you're faking it to everybody literally like a woman's march a gay march I'm like, you're not even really gay. You just want to march But here's what I've learned due to feed processing of all different kinds of things We're all dying from little things in the in the world. We just don't know it yet, okay? So Bethany is not dying from coated fish. What do you call that where they have a coating?

Starting point is 01:06:31 We're like, don't hurt me. So a shell fish. Thank you. Shoefolder, shoe folder. Can you imagine I do this at home? A coated fish. I love these flyers. I really can not hear you guys saying it back to me and when we're home

Starting point is 01:06:46 Ben's like doing it filing. I just want to point out you're literally having this conversation in the presence of like a world-renowned chef, okay? Michael Botages right here. It's a coated fish. Yeah, so maybe you can tell it's like shellfish apparently. I learned this from Facebook, which is where I've been educated. Let's not lie.

Starting point is 01:07:04 Facebook told me that shellfish is different than regular fish. And most people are allergic to shellfish, but Bethany is not. She was allergic to regular fish. OK. Which is why she's always having fish parties. Because Bethany, like literally every party, you're like, wow, can't some fish. The most of my teeth are fish is.

Starting point is 01:07:19 He's a fish set. The most important part is that there was a beautiful array of skinny girl dressings, OK? Yeah. Anything's OK if it's of skinny girl dressings, okay? Yeah. Anything's okay if it's got skinny girl on it, all right? So Luanne and Barbara come over and Luanne's like, ah, I brought a pie. You see, where in the going gets rough pie?

Starting point is 01:07:36 Huh. You brought something, oh my God. Hold on, let me do it. You brought something, oh my God, I can't go when they empty head. You know what, thank God I have in the back of my car, a toolkit. Got a toolkit.

Starting point is 01:07:50 Got a toolkit in the back of my car. So Barbara goes to her car and I was like, did she just say toolkit five times? That's what I was thinking. Wait, she's gonna give Bethany a toolkit? Who has a toolkit? Even my papa got rid of the toolkit, you know? Eventually you get triple A.

Starting point is 01:08:04 Yeah. So she gets this toolkit, you know? Eventually you get Triple A. Yeah. So she gets this toolkit because apparently she actually sells Toolkit's aim for women, which I'm actually not mad at. And so- I'm mad at it. Are women too stupid to use regular tools now? I don't think so. A toolkit for women.

Starting point is 01:08:20 I don't like seeing that stuff. Either way, Luan goes, oh Barbara, you're my DIY guru, which is like DIY darling. I'm not like you're fucking saying it again. So, thank God I always have these in the car. I'm like you fit right in on this show, honey. So they walk in and they give, they present their gifts. To Green Bethany.

Starting point is 01:08:42 And, so Barbara's like, well, I didn't bring flowers, but I brought you one of my new toolkits in black. And Bethany goes, oh yeah, that's great. I have the pink one, thank you. Fucking underminer. Says this woman who's given everyone a skinny girl, Koosie, and Shoo, and Jean, and... Chocolate Man.

Starting point is 01:09:01 The only housewife that cannot get mad at you for bringing them branded shit. That's true. You knows. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs.

Starting point is 01:09:11 Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs.

Starting point is 01:09:19 Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. Chocolate Macs. I wish that we're hammers for women. Did I mention my when the going gets tough cake now? So Bethany, the way I was like so proud about that, which I get. So Bethany, so Bethany once again, she's like, talk about Danes.

Starting point is 01:09:40 She's like, no I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm gonna cry. No, no, no, no, no. You know, I made some sandwich, she's gonna make some salad. It's gonna be great, we're gonna have so much fun. You're like, oh my god, they just got a picture of Danes. No, it's a, I'm fine, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna, fun. Sorry, Bethany. So, sorry. Luann. Luann is so uncomfortable in this situation, by the way. She doesn't know how to do with Bethany,

Starting point is 01:10:13 so she starts making this manic salad. She's like, oh, huh. Hi, hi, hi, hi. I don't know what to do with myself. I already used up the pie thing. So it's when we go and get tough salad. Damn, I used up one loop. Come on, loop. Come on. Yeah, the one's like, it's when they go and get tough salad. Damn, I used that one, Lou, come on Lou, come on.

Starting point is 01:10:26 Yeah, Lou Ants, I could. One, two, three hitapoys, one, two, three hitapoys. She's certain. So then Beth thinks, I don't even know what's up, I don't even know what's down, and Lou Ants, you know what, it's fine. You don't need to know if you're good, or if you're not good. That's part of it. You know, just go through it.

Starting point is 01:10:45 And then Barbara, who's just given her a toolback, because you know what I like to do when I'm upset? Pound things. With tools. With women tools. Very important. I was like, Barbara, really? Tools by Barbara.

Starting point is 01:11:04 She's crying about her boyfriend dying, Barbara. That is me, the Pam things. And I was like, you know what? This is called Frankl Karma. Right here. So Ramona, meanwhile, she's getting ready for her own rival luncheon. And she has like a swimmer there to help.

Starting point is 01:11:24 And this woman is Latina. At Ramona's like, don't, whoa, don't we should do? Let's maybe put out some guacamola. Pretty sure, yeah. Let's get some guacamola. Guacamola. People like the guacamola, right? And then they made like, okay, but this is fucking Ramona's the worst. This is how Ramona goes to the fridge. She's like, you know what? You know what?

Starting point is 01:11:49 You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

Starting point is 01:11:57 You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? like Jesus, I mean she was doing that come on

Starting point is 01:12:07 Caduce to you so So Durinda shows up and Hey, you know what you get back you do a bag She does the most passive aggressive thing that she can do, which is like, bring the Luan and Tom Topag with a candle. Listen, this is an episode to promote your business, okay? That failed Tom business has brought Luan a lot of press, all right? So yeah, so now...

Starting point is 01:12:45 Georgia. Sorry, that's the cleaning lady's name. We'll give it to Georgia. I don't wanna touch that bag, it's back book. Let Georgia touch it. Yeah. The hell, poor Georgia is walking around with Louanne's bad luck.

Starting point is 01:12:58 I know, put it out guacamole. The bus is always just left, you know? Poor Georgia, what she fucking do to deserve this? She's already working for Ramona. So, uh... Georgia, break karma. So now everyone starts talking about the whole like, Dorenda and Luanne situation.

Starting point is 01:13:19 We got Tinsley and Sonia, they're driving. They're still driving out. Like, be careful, the motorcycle man. They're scary. So here we go again with another shitty excuse from a shitty friend. So Sonia's like, well, I think Remona wanted to just drive alone for her books on tape.

Starting point is 01:13:37 But Bethany, I was thinking about Bethany because that whole thing happened with that person. But I was just thinking she just needs to be around her daughter right now. So I just texted her. I'm like, oh my God! I don't know. What is wrong with you?

Starting point is 01:13:53 I'm a nicer people than they are, our person. That's terrible, that's terrible. Oh my God. So then, so Jorinda Ramon, our meme all talking about it still, and Ramana is like, whoa, Jorinda, she's in a very bad place. Well, she's like an emotional version of beauty, okay? A terrible, terrible dark place. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:14:17 She's like, I have a cap, great dolling. She starts like doing your Ramana crazy hair flex, but she's crazy, right? She's hell deep down suck. She's crazy. Have you talked to her and Durrina's like, yeah, cuz you want to rehab the 30 seconds? And then you go for an 11-inch cake? That shouldn't give you the right. To tell people how many steps they're supposed to take. And I fuck off, new hair. So Durrina's going on this whole new, I'm sober, and everything's great, but she's so obviously still drunk

Starting point is 01:14:52 and so mad about it. And I get it. I've had people who've got to rehab. I hate them now. Like let's face it. So Ramona is trying to sound like an empathetic person, but she also is really excited to get in her like digs wherever she can You know she keeps saying this thing like she's in a bad place, okay?

Starting point is 01:15:11 She's in a bad bad place and Durrindo is like, yeah, you know healing is about being humble And Ramona is like, well, she's never been humble. So I guess she won't be healed. She's a bad place forever And then it just yeah, let's call Spade Spade. She's never been humble. And then Dorena goes, yeah, but you remember, I've never seen that side of the wind. I never seen it before. I mean, when is this wind of the wind now, humble?

Starting point is 01:15:39 So then, uh, and then what I love, this is one thing that I love about the show. They just do a hard cut to another scene, and someone just already outraged, and they just cut to Louangus. Ramona's such a liar! Oh, she made it this whole story. Me at Chris Burrger.

Starting point is 01:15:57 Chris Burrger! Where'd you believe it? Can you believe it? Chris Burrger! Oh, God, I love shrimp. Yeah. Totally different. Do you know this woman is awful? Awful.

Starting point is 01:16:10 Oh, yeah. You know what? I know that that didn't happen. I know. And Barbara's like, I was there. I was at that party. And Luanne turned to me and she said, what'd you say, Luanne? You said, I don't want to go.

Starting point is 01:16:22 I want to be home, possibly hanging a picture. Or, you know, taking care of things myself and my house without needing a man, which is why you pulled out your tools. D-Y-I, am I right? So then Barbara says, truly one of the most random things that's ever been said on Bravo. She goes, you know, the Wann and I were at Harlow. Remember when they used to have Reaganite? I'm just imagining the Wann walking around.

Starting point is 01:16:49 DOOOOO! Red, red wine! I'll tell you this much. It had this much in common with the Wrigay night. I said, I want to go home. Alright. Wrigay. Do you guys, you know how these shows fuck your brain? Did all of you immediately say like, no, it's Rage? I did. I call it Rage now. It's fine by me. This is the new way we say it now.

Starting point is 01:17:18 Rage. It's it. It's Rage. So, but also these late, these old slides going to Reg A night is hilarious. Remember hollow on Reg A night and she's like, hmm, everyone's just running like, hmm, legendary. So apparently at Reg A night, Barbara and Leigh Ann were dancing to the steel drums. Awkwardly, because you know Luan danced like, Oh, I love that Sean Paul. Shake that thing. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:17:51 So, at apparently, Ramona, you know when they're teaching you to ski, but you're still on just like land. Like on the cement. Like you do this, she's like, Pizza fries, pizza fries. That's how she did it. So Ramona, so apparently Ramona came dancing up to them,

Starting point is 01:18:08 and was like, whoa, reggae, am I right? Whoa, whoa. Matt, whoa. Hey, hey, why is she here? Yeah. That stupid fucker face over there. Have come one of our eyes, this is in the forehead, and otherwise on a lips.

Starting point is 01:18:24 Well, just saying, right? So apparently Ramona always forgets who Barbara is or pretends to forget who she is. And Barbara's like, I mean, I have a distinctive face. But she said I have a distinctive face. Oh honey. I feel like she watched the wrestler and she was like, oh. Oh.

Starting point is 01:18:52 Hashtag trademarks. I mean, come on guys. Ourtoncrafts are fun. So that's too much. So the man goes, let me tell you something. Ramona has always been a thorn in my side. Let's call it The singer finger

Starting point is 01:19:12 Put that in the show put that Victoria Victoria. We got a new joke in the show Can I stop the house now? But the real issue is to rend ah ah You know she's met herself. Honestly, you know what she and they're going, gets tough pie. Am I right? No, okay, fine. Fine. I was reading my crazy notes of this. Barbara, I wrote distinctive literally 20 times.

Starting point is 01:19:35 Like, I can't get out for it in my notes, okay? That was yesterday, Ronnie. So it's different than today. But just the story of Barbara being like, I've run into her 15 times over the years. She never, she never knows who I am. And then Luangas, she's like that. It's the same time Bethy goes,

Starting point is 01:19:53 yeah, she doesn't have to everybody. Ah! Ha! Does that's my assistance, okay? I mean, that is amazing. So Luangas now, like, railing on Dorenda. And she goes, I mean, how is she there for me? Yes, when I was in rehab, she called me every single day,

Starting point is 01:20:09 but I mean, she's a friend, she's supposed to do that. I'm not mad at me because that's where you're supposed to. That's where you're supposed to. You're not rehabbing your friends are supposed to call. I was like, uh-oh, this is called groundwork. That Beth me is lying here. Like, not wanting you bitches, call me! I guarantee you, this is a driveway up to the,

Starting point is 01:20:30 you didn't call me when Dennis died Palace. Yeah. Also, I think if you're, I think if your friend calls you everyday on rehab, I think that's also called being there for you. Sorry Kind of but let's face it. Tarrinda does it in that way that I call you in rehab I'm like are you still in rehab good for you Just just let me know when I can get that pepper shaker back The last one fell and broke my foot

Starting point is 01:20:57 You have like 19 of my martini shakers, and I know I get them from Ross But I still pay for that. So could you call me when you're out? Love my coke mirror back. Thanks. So so Luann is like whipping herself up and do a frenzy talking about how she dwindess self-loathing and everything and she goes, I mean, just a rinda try to reach out to me and say, hey, Lu, I already got another baloney sandwich on your head, no, no. She knows I'm here and Beth think, yeah, but you're here too.

Starting point is 01:21:28 And she's, yes, but, but it's your town. It's your town. This is your town. So, yes, it's my town. And then she called to say, you're in my town. No. So then we go back over to Durrinda. Durrinda.

Starting point is 01:21:44 And Durrinda was like, you know, I haven't seen this yet, it's much. And you know, I don't know, I just feel like a shit about it. I can sit at Ramona's, but it's like, don't cry. Don't cry. She's like holding onions up to her face. Don't cry, Durinda. The last thing I want is you to cry. What?

Starting point is 01:22:01 I've never seen Ramona. Ramona didn't look this shocked when she found out Mario had been fucking like half a hamptons. Ramona's like, you're coin? You're coin? Don't cry. Don't cry. She's going through bad things.

Starting point is 01:22:18 She's in bad place. You know, it's what you're doing here in a bad place. You do bad things. We have to say, I love Durinda. I'm so glad Durinda's on the show. Yeah, I'm thankful for Durinda. I think Durinda is an amazing housewife and person. But that bitch is a drunk, fighting against AA right now,

Starting point is 01:22:38 OK? How are you going to be mad at Luan when you were the one you started up? Durinda, I love you. This is your fault. This is your fault. How are you gonna be mad at Luan when you were the one you started? Durinda, I love you. This is your fault. This is your fault. I mean, it's pretty obvious.

Starting point is 01:22:50 You call and say sorry. That's all a bitch means. Yeah, that's all I can say. I love you, Caboera. That's it. You can't even ever do it with the jelly. Durinda starts every season with a three episode fight. She always takes two or three episodes of the universe season and then she swashes it, so

Starting point is 01:23:07 it'll be fine. So then we go home. Yeah, now it's going to turn on Bethany. So then, speaking of which, we go back to Bethany's house and Barbara drops a bomb. She goes, well, you know what? I'm inviting Durrinda to the clam bake. Yeah, she's like, I, ding, ding, ding, ding. Guess what, guys, I've made a decision.

Starting point is 01:23:28 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's the way. You're the way. Loang has, oh, Jesus. What are you trying to do? Matchmaker, matchmaker, make, uh, make me an argument. I said, argument, argument, argument, argument, argument. I like argument, please, yes. I can't finish this because I didn't get the permission to move to the cascades. That's it. I would have said matchmaker, matchmaker. Make me a... A... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a You're both wrong. Yeah. You're always right if you say that, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:24:25 It's always true. Durrinda, you a drunk. Luan, you a drunk. You can be friends if you drunk together. Otherwise, what do you be drunk over there? The other be sober over there. That's it. It's the only way you're going to get along.

Starting point is 01:24:39 Meet in the morning. So now Durrinda is going through a moment of self-reflection, which is like, I mean, what did I say that was so bad? I said the truth. She has a mug shot, she's a drunk, we all hate her, she's a piece of shit. That's not so bad. So we meet people through our job, right?

Starting point is 01:25:06 Just like drunk people who are like, you're horrible to me. Let's go to dinner and maybe you'll be nicer to me, which never happens, right? So one of those people is Kate Chastain. Who I love. Yeah. We both love Kate Chastain, right?

Starting point is 01:25:22 And Kate is always very honest with us, which we're always very honest with her too. And she'll just come right through our face and be like, how dare you say that thing about me? You stupid idiot. You know, I'm like, we'll have that conversation. So this is the only person that I've ever heard, I feel it, who I've ever heard contradict us

Starting point is 01:25:42 like to our face, she said. You know what, the only thing that I've ever heard you say that really hurt was not to me. It was to my dear friend, Durinda. And I said, listen here, tell that bitch to listen close. Cause I love a Durinda. And I will tell you the same thing if you're my best friend. Cut that shit out drunky, okay?

Starting point is 01:26:06 Yeah, you can feel me drunk look. I'm a fun drunk, okay? But if I come after my friends with knives and trying to ruin them, no Let's do it. Let's be drunk together. Yeah, it's my only point Miranda. We love you So Ramona's like, you know, so Dorenda is not going to be like, I ain't saying anything. Show, man. I ain't saying so bad. And this is why I love Ramona because she goes, listen, you know what? It heard of feelings, you know? I mean, Bethany has said much worse to all of us. I can't help herself to somehow drag Bethany into it. Ramona drags her Bethany hate, like Barbara drags her tool bag.

Starting point is 01:26:48 Totally. It's like, well, look, she's not stable. Me, she's not, okay? Like, bought a friend to say, something drunk with Luene. Something drunk with Luene. No matter what neighborhood they're in, they all say the same thing.

Starting point is 01:27:02 Something drunk with Luene. So now Luan is real, she's drawing a line in the sand with her Vespa and she's saying, you know what? I might just have to skip your clam bake. I'm gonna be triggered. You guys, Luan literally said, I don't know if I can go to your car and bake

Starting point is 01:27:26 This glam bake I'm triggered You guys you know old people it takes us a long time to get your sayings okay millennial I'm like triggered fuck you fuck you For years I've been saying fuck you with your triggered So Loon is finally said it. I'm in. I'm into triggered. I'm triggered. Trigger. So Ramona's like, to Jorinda, she's like, you know what?

Starting point is 01:27:54 She's not very stable right now. I mean, she's literally on a best spot. She could fall over any second, okay? And I heard from a very close friend that something is very off of her. They're really concerned, okay? I mean, her pumpkin head is bigger than ever before, okay? Sorry.

Starting point is 01:28:11 Sorry. Sorry. It cuts back to Beth me and them. And the man's like, Triggered, Triggered, Triggered. Ah, Triggered, ah. And Beth me's like, all right, Barbara, look, I know you, I've got two of your toolbox,

Starting point is 01:28:24 but I don't know you that great, you know. Like, I'm too old back've got two of your toolbox, but I don't know you, that great, you know. Like, I'm two-tool-backs into this friendship, but I will say this. LeWan is like 50, how many days? Three, four, 112, if you ask my children. All right, so she's like something into like sobriety. So here's the rule, you cannot invite her,

Starting point is 01:28:44 if she triggers LeWan, who's almost in sobriety. I'm like, wait a minute, what? So then the whole thing ends with Luan just saying, you know what? I'm not going to apologize to a woman who offended me, who hurt me. I don't need a trigger. And with that being said, please pass the welcome away. And that was Real House House of New York. You guys, thank you so much.

Starting point is 01:29:07 This is amazing show. You guys are awesome. Thank you for coming out. Good night everyone. We love you guys. Blazing Deals, Boundless Options Its hot grill summer at Whole Foods Market from June 14 through July 4. Fire up the grill with quality cuts at the best prices. We're talking animal welfare certified meat.

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