Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Jazzercries

Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors!

Starting point is 00:00:24 The Bay Area Betches! Betches! Megan the Slayer Taylor! Heron McNicholas! She don't miss no trickle-ists. Hot dang! It's Jessica Dang! Lisa Wallent.

Starting point is 00:00:34 Now that's what I call Wallentainment. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender! Hava Niggila Weber! Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good. Jamie, she has no last name. Asli Savoni, she don't take nobeloni. You don't touch the Niggie Morgan letters. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. What you talking about Willis, it's son of Gillis. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the

Starting point is 00:01:00 bird. Just saying okay. Christy Wowardy Dowerry. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Give a homer with Jeffrey Boomer. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson. And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Mina Kuchikuchi. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony.

Starting point is 00:01:23 The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Lulu Simon. Soon soon studio. Give them hell Miss Noel. Kelly Stump. The Stump Master. Always ready for Nicole pass already. One day your Rachel's in.

Starting point is 00:01:36 In the next eight, you're out. We're all in with Julia Conlin. Yes, we can with Howley, Carolyn and Ann. Nancy, Susan, to Ciscoley, Carolyn and Ann. Nancy, Ceasen, Desisto. We love you guys. I have come, I have come, I have come. I've been with you, I've come. Watch what I've been, I've come.

Starting point is 00:01:56 Kids, what happens, what happens? So why I've been with you, I've come. I've come, I've come. But when you go, I've come. Kids, what happens, what happens? So much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch With Crappers! The podcast about all that craft we just love to talk about on your bros. I'm Roni Karam, I'm also on the Rose Prick Spatularost. And as usual, here I am with Ben Mandelka, who creates and writes and draws and animates

Starting point is 00:02:26 Well real housewives of kitchen islands. Whoa. It's on YouTube. Go get it. Wow Wow, whoa. Yeah a lot of work. Okay. Yeah, it's a lot of work. Okay, go listen to it Okay, so everybody this is a live stream. So hello to everybody who's with us on This is a live stream. So hello to everybody who's with us on, on crap and on demand. If you are not on this, but you wanna watch it, go over to crap and on demand on Patreon. It ain't that hard, just do it.

Starting point is 00:02:52 I have a beautiful new background today, like a housewife. Okay. Yeah, Ronnie redid his entire apartment. He blew out the walls, installed a lovely Nancy Myers living room. I mean, I can't believe you did that all in two days. Hey, listen, this green screen looks like shit, but it's better than cleaning my house. So that's what we're getting today.

Starting point is 00:03:13 I think it's a great idea. Everybody, are you ready for these planks? Live shows? Big. Okay. Big. This month, July next month, we're going to Cleveland and Baltimore. We still got tickets for this to go get them

Starting point is 00:03:26 Also, guess what went on sale today everybody to the public Chicago rich man for Lauderdale Whoa, and also Carbureau, okay Yeah, also Carbureau, which is kind of Charlotte for those people Carbureau it's not Charlotte. for those people. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not Charlotte. It's more like the research triangle in North Carolina. It's like a Raleigh Durham Chapel Hill, that area, because we are going to Charlotte,

Starting point is 00:03:51 which is a totally separate show. Whoa. Yeah, we've got a ton of shows. So here's your list. So September is Charlotte in Nashville. So get your tickets. Tickets are open for those. Then in October, we've got Carbro and Richmond. And then in November,

Starting point is 00:04:08 we've got Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Chicago, and Chicago because we're doing two shows there. Chicago is selling like mad. So go get your tickets for that. We sold a ton in pre-sales. So go get those. By the way, the first Chicago show is already down to about 50 tickets left. Yeah. So those are selling a lot. So go get those. And then in New York, we're doing two shows in November. We've got one that sold out, but we've got a 9 p.m. show at Grammar C. Theater. That's a low ticket alerts. That's almost sold out. Go get tickets for that. And then in December, we've got St. Louis, Philadelphia, Philadelphia again, because we added a second show there. So go get

Starting point is 00:04:43 tickets for the second show. And then in December also, we have Seattle. I mean, there are so many shows. Go, come to the shows. We don't want to be alone at the shows. Yeah, they're awesome. And they're all selling really well. So thank you guys so much for coming to those.

Starting point is 00:04:56 And of course, don't forget, we also have a new Discord channel, which is already growing so nicely. And it's first week, all sorts of people and they're talking about Bravo and Big Brother and recipes and I've been Venting through my car Shopping process in there. So that's really fun. Yeah, so everybody come on join us you can still get your shirts door window and Team LVP and

Starting point is 00:05:20 Montenegro Madison those are over at crap and smurch.com Bonus episode this week was Project Runway. This upcoming week is going to be a big brother cast run down. So, guys, there's just so much going on. Come over to watch at KrapenS.com to figure out your place in this universe. All right? Yeah. Okay. So, let's get on because Real Housewives of New York City,

Starting point is 00:05:39 still firing on all cylinders. It is firing on more cylinders than it even has. Like, if it's a V6, it is firing on like more cylinders than it even has. Like if it's a V6, it is firing on a V12 right now. And I'm saying this because I'm shopping for cars. So I'm gonna compare everything in car terminology. Like if this is like, if we're looking at the housewives, this is the top trim everyone. Well, let's open the glove box.

Starting point is 00:06:00 See what's in there. See what's in there. Well, you know what, before we even get into the recap, I woke up this morning and people had tweeted at us that there has been, there's a New York, sorry, I got startled. Dominique, whose birthday it is today, by the way, World of Watcher Crappiners. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Tom. Anyway, so I woke up this morning and there's a deleted scene from Real House House of New York. I think it's from like a deleted scene from last week or whatever.

Starting point is 00:06:31 It is so funny. It's like, it's amazing that this show has these gems that can't even make it into the show when Beverly Hills is like Kyle Richards speed walking around her backyard. So we're actually going to play the scene because I think it's going to translate audio audio wise. So you ready? Yeah. Okay. The setup is Ramona singer attacks Tincy Mortimer's makeup. Here we go. This tin's leased sitting on a chair trying to call her mom. And here comes Barbara. Barbara's coming in. Hi.

Starting point is 00:07:11 I'm like half naked, don't buy. What's up? Ah. I'm so alone. I'm out of nowhere. I'm like, no reason. Nothing. I came into the bathroom and so did I. I was getting my hair blown out.

Starting point is 00:07:25 I was like, what do I say? I look really old for my age. I just said that. You don't need old ass makeup. I'm like, that heavy eye makeup looks old for your age. I do? No, I do. I do not.

Starting point is 00:07:40 Yeah, I would do that. You look old right now. For your age, you're not young look young for my age and that's how You get She can't but could tell like wait for the makeup like open They don't even get near me with that. Don't even get She's got a lot of time to remember with a towel. I'm a ninja baby! I'm a ninja baby!

Starting point is 00:08:06 She's so cute! I'm a ninja baby! I'm a ninja baby! I'm a ninja baby! I'm a ninja baby! I'm a ninja baby! I'm a ninja baby! I'm a ninja baby!

Starting point is 00:08:22 I'm a ninja baby! I'm a ninja baby! I'm a ninja baby! She's really about with empowerment. You don't deserve that. And you look beautiful. Know what she means to everyone. Your delivery is like a punch in it. This is so new. Hello, the partial woman. Roman is now. And you remind me of a little more. It's your last and most heavy makeup lady.

Starting point is 00:08:35 They look like clean shapes. They look like what do you call them? Like, what do you call them? Heavy or her lashes too heavy? Just say yes or no. Answer me. Lady Tate. Okay, whatever.

Starting point is 00:08:51 You are shocking. You look beautiful. You still look beautiful. Now Barbara's giving her a tap-pap talk. No, it's not. You just need to wipe my dirty hair. It's just a little bit. Just going to marry.

Starting point is 00:09:00 You want something to drink? You have a drink? I do actually. It's a little bit. Yeah. Se, sexy lady! Sexy lady! Sexy lady! No, it's a rinders' entry to the bride.

Starting point is 00:09:11 What was the screaming? I was trying to get as my makeup. Who's screaming? You have a mono. She sent Tinsley at the... Oh, my... That's it. Just torturing Tinsley.

Starting point is 00:09:22 Ramona is a fucking monster from hell and I love her I mean how amazing is that like just like you look old for your age I look young for mod well you've also had a lot more nips and tux Ramona okay let's stop pretending that Ramona is just naturally young I love that everybody's like oh my god Ramona looks fucking amazing for God, Romano looks fucking amazing for. Yeah, we'd all look fucking amazing for her age. If we had as many scissors around as she does, that's not fair. She does look great for her age though. She actually does look great for her age. And she actually always has like great for her age, but the, I mean, the fact that they just,

Starting point is 00:09:58 I mean, they just kick and kick and kick Tinsley while she's out. It is. Tinsley, that's what it can never fire Tinsley. It is. It is. That's what it is. It can never fire tinsley. It's like taking a ball away from a child, you know, I want to see tinsley get tortured. Yeah, tinsley, you know what it is? It's almost like for years and years, they've been trying to figure out who is that last cast member. And basically, this is like, we've come back around to the Alex McCord type.

Starting point is 00:10:24 There's that underdog who just doesn't like, she fits in, but at the same time is the full on punching bag. And that's what Tinsley is. She's the second coming of Alex McCord. Oh, no way. Alex was such a nerd. How can you say that about poor Tinsley? I mean, I guess in the punching bag sense.

Starting point is 00:10:40 In the punching bag sense. Only in the punching bag metric. I think she's like Paris Hilton in that movie House of Wax because people are like, let's hire Paris Hilton to be in this movie House of Wax and everybody's gonna come. But nobody wants to go see House of Wax and not see Paris Hilton get tortured and melted. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. I need Tinsley to be on the show and just be tortured all the time.

Starting point is 00:11:01 Well, she certainly gets at this episode, that's for sure. And start to a candle possibly. Yeah, I would love it, Inslee candle. Just as it burns, it's like, and then when it finally gets to the bottom, I go, my eggs. Yeah, the very The very end is two little eggs that just poof away. This might go. It just says the odds. That was a reference to her fame in the 2000s. So let's go on to this recap. Okay. Yeah. So it opens up in the same place where I left off.

Starting point is 00:11:40 I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's happening. I don't know. I can't I don't know what's happening- I don't know- I can't look at that- I can't look at that- I'm-

Starting point is 00:11:49 I'm- I don't know- I don't know- Looks like Bethany Cronk. I can't believe they still didn't cut to that shot of that creepy like mannequin that's eating its own arm off in front of Durantus House. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha So, uh, yeah, we're still in the cabaret fight where Bethany's having her nervous breakdown and Listen's like listen calm down, please

Starting point is 00:12:11 Yeah, I like Luann telling her to come please please can you just calm down to where girls? I got this have many hecklers at my Cabaret show It's bad enough. I can't drink now. I can't enjoy my appetizers It's bad enough. I can't drink now. I can't enjoy my appetizers Could someone please pass me the giant toaster full of pop tarts. Thank you And then and I don't know if you noticed this but everyone got up to consult Bethany including Luanne everyone was standing around her Except for a mono who's just sitting out of seat like whoa, I'm not gonna get up. Sorry. She does it every trip, okay? I just pretended to cry. Okay on crying. Why isn't anybody hugging me?

Starting point is 00:12:58 Remotor said I cried like 10 times in the scene. It's like okay about it. You get points. They're on your report card You showed some of like, okay, we're about to you get points. They're on your report card. You showed some emotion. Okay, so I know all there is to know about the crying game. Okay. My god, don't lift up a dress. It's one thing. Okay, I don't want to spoil it. Lift up a dress. You're going to find something that's very shocking. At least 1992. Okay. Lift up a dress you're gonna find something that's very shocking at least 90 92 okay, you want to play the crying game? Fine, look it tinsley put on a makeup so sad saddest thing I ever saw in my life

Starting point is 00:13:32 Okay, if you want to play the crying game just say to tinsley house your baby, okay So Lou Ann's trying to hug her and batting like Do not touch me, do not touch me, my It's like fun, I don't know what to say, so I'll sing it Burden the sky, you know how I feel Fish running by you know you know, I just came up with that lyric fish running by fish don't even run But what do you think? Yeah, let's agree in there. Yeah, it's sort of a commentary and evolution fish running by Imagine fish with little feet running together way Running away right we instantly evolved instant evolution

Starting point is 00:14:17 So Bethany runs out with Barbara and she's like It's like a little amp. It's like a Bethany amp It's like a little amp, it's like a Bethany amp. a cross between that and trying to figure out which Turkey's gonna get saved at the White House every year, you know. So Ramona is like oh my god. I was emotional. Okay. Yeah. I am a story. I mean I cried. I'm a moment. Let's take a moment and to see. Oh, sorry babe. Let's have a flow. No, just said girls. Let's just have a flashback montage of how it was crying, okay? Hit it boys

Starting point is 00:15:08 Birds in the sky running by the So Ramona's like yeah, I feel by the way, I have to say Bethany's out crying Ramona saying that she was crying Everybody's like going crazy. You still hear the Bethany siren outside and And then it cuts to Sonya who's just scarfing down food. Yes, I noticed that. And it's like, well, I mean, I still am hungry. I didn't really eat much last night when I fell my face. So the way I'm like, well, she obviously has a lot of pinch up anger. Yeah, obviously has nothing to do with me. Pant for a while and Ramona's like I feel Bethany's paying Okay, because she had a moment was she realized if she didn't give in Dennis that much attention He wouldn't be dead now stupid and you know

Starting point is 00:15:56 Ramona she just said that you know Ramona's acting like she just came up with this thing I'm like Bethany literally just said that but good job detective Ramona I feel like I didn't even hear Bethany say that. I feel like I heard just heard Bethany say you didn't ask me how Dennis was. You didn't ask me how Dennis was. Yeah, she said it so ironic. I'm taking care of my boyfriend, you start. I'm having an intervention for you while my boyfriend is dying of an overdose.

Starting point is 00:16:18 Oh, right. Yeah, I think that was more of Ramona's aha moment. Although she has aha moments with everything. Whoa, this door pushes and pulls. That's an a-ha moment, okay? You want to just realize? Catch up isn't being out of cats. Now I'll eat it, okay? Just realize it, alright?

Starting point is 00:16:36 Uh-huh. Whoa, I just had an a-ha moment. I'm like, ageless, so I sort of look like my daughter, slash best friend, Avery, okay? So yeah, Lee Wands like whatever. Well, I got shoes upset about something and Ramona's like this and Lou Only having this conversation because we love you doesn't tensed the cool front of age also I feel like you don't like us, okay? We should feel like you don't like us, you know

Starting point is 00:17:03 Yeah, it's like what are you talking about? Of course I like you. Yeah like us, okay? We just feel like you don't like us, you know? It's like, what are you talking about? Of course I like you. Yeah, and then of course, I, you know, you know me, I can't help but compare this to Beverly Hills. Isn't it funny the same week? It's almost the same argument, you know? Like we feel like you don't like hanging out with us. But when it comes from New York,

Starting point is 00:17:20 it comes off almost like a passive aggressive sniveling, like little girl, like comes off almost like a passive aggressive sniveling, like little girl, like, you don't like us, whereas here is just like, you know, like, oh, we are just gonna go in for the kill. And then afterwards put a little bow on and say, no, we actually love you, we just think you don't like us. It's so weird how like the same kind of thing can be so inseparable on one show and so hilarious on another.

Starting point is 00:17:44 Well, an awesome remote is just full of shit. No one's sitting around. Oh, Lewand doesn't like us. You know, this is like not real at all. I guess they both have that in common too, because the other fight wasn't really about that either. Yeah. That's true.

Starting point is 00:17:57 It's like you're acting like an asshole. No one will just say you're just acting like an asshole. Stop. Erica, you're in a shitty mood all the fucking time and it makes it miserable to be around you because you're made effects of people around you Okay, and Luan You know what I love you Luan. I'm not even gonna tell off Luan in Ramonus voice, okay? Wow I don't care. You know what she has musical numbers, okay?

Starting point is 00:18:18 Robert Clay was probably a monster too, but guess what he had a piano and a microphone And some lovely first. Yeah, so we cut to Bethany and Barbara outside and Bethany's like, oh my god You know when Bethany like tell somebody off and then later she's like, oh my god. I totally blocked out I had no idea what I was saying like it's totally They mean I totally love my body Yeah, did I call her name? Did I call her name? Did I say something and when I was now you just said she was intolerable Which she is in bed. was intolerable with she is. And Beth says, yes she is. She is. That's true. That's true.

Starting point is 00:18:49 And Dorenda is like, you bet he said what we were all thinking. He told me so many times you can just ring the cat's neck. I don't even think clear person with it. Do it this man. Okay, right? So Sonia's, Sonia basically back at the table. She's like, Lou, you know, you checked out today and the way he goes, I went to the beach for a swim, for God's sake. But we were supposed to be together.

Starting point is 00:19:16 She said, well, you went out with your sister and her friends. Okay, let me get this. The oboocracy is off to charge. Ramona goes on a date, Tancy goes out with her friends, but I go swimming and I'm crucified like Jesus Christ. Superstar. I'm sorry if my bathing suit is just a tentacle or dream coat of emotion right now. So now C gets up and C walks off.

Starting point is 00:19:39 Well, what's also great is that Luan, when they're trying to bust Luan, she full on adopts her You Still My Hair face. So she sort of has that like, bring it sister look on her face. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh well I went for a swim and you went with your sister for a cocktail.

Starting point is 00:19:58 Big day, you know, she does that thing where she's like, don't come at me, bitch, bitch, sake of the head, don't come at me. Bitch. Bitch. Shake of the head, shake of the back hair. Yeah. So she's like, oh, I gotta go. And Durin is like, yeah, terrible. She said, well, she doesn't want to talk to me.

Starting point is 00:20:14 So what am I supposed to do? I can't talk to her. I can't have it. I can't get through some artichoke, but without someone accusing me of some things. I'm just gonna go, Durin. And Durin is like like he can stay out late It's been really fun punching you in the crutch. You want to stay for a little bit? I promise I'll be home

Starting point is 00:20:30 So what do you want me to do to Rinda? So then Luan tells us you know, I just can't take it anymore So I'm calling Daniel to go drink Because that's where I am. That's what they've done to me and I'm like, okay, you've officially become my mother, you know Yeah, drive me to drink. I'm like, okay, you've officially become my mother. You know, you drive me to drink. I'm like, you literally drove yourself to drink like in the car. I know, exactly. She, yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:52 And I also like that when she was throwing me out of the restaurant, she's like, she's going out. She's like, I'm leaving. And I'm like, no, no, no, let me leave. Please, let me leave. I don't wanna talk to her. I don't wanna leave. Let me, by the way, I'm leavingtalee, leave that, I don't want to turn it to add the, lettalee, lettale fun. I will have fun leaving and falling off the

Starting point is 00:21:26 wagon, would you room in our force me to do? Don't mind me just go a year down a path of no sobriety. Just did I mention I'm leaving anyone? Anyone? So Bethany comes back to the table. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I pain. I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but I cried Okay, cuz I'm right I'm an MP okay for your other people's pain for example right now right down on the inside of my stomach Feels really dry and old. Tinsie is sitting too close to me. I'm feeling it I'm in path. Okay. I go from New York to New Jersey, and you can get a pass and you can cry on me, okay? It's great. So, yeah, so Bethany is just like crying

Starting point is 00:22:31 about like being in the Wands in prevention and not helping Dennis. And then all of a sudden the Wands come as back. She's like, I wanted to leave, but I couldn't leave. I mean, am I gonna throw away all this hard work and sobriety for them, those bitches? No, they're not gonna win. I'm not gonna let them.

Starting point is 00:22:53 Also, I couldn't find any of those, so I just had to come back here and I really wanted to have the rest of my pop tart in that toaster, so. Ugh, also that Uber is 14 minutes away. That's unacceptable. Also I accidentally hit Uber, Uber Pool, which I thought was gonna take me to the pool so I could swim, but turns out I had to be sure a car with three strangers. I mean what is this madness here in Miami? See you later Miami, not coming back anytime soon. Yeah you're not gonna see the likes of me here again in Miami until I come back to

Starting point is 00:23:25 perform it. One of the largest theaters in Florida. At the film or so, the wind is now finally like Luan is starting to feel something like feel bad about all this situation. So she's starting to like she's like, well, I mean, now that I've left and come back and no one seems to have cared, I realize that this is a dire situation. So let me just say I feel terrible. I feel terrible. And so he was like, yay! She feels terrible!

Starting point is 00:23:52 You feel terrible! Come here, give me a hug! She's so happy. Wasted. Yeah, but she's not happy that Luanne feels terrible, but she's just happy because you know, so I knew this is sort of person where if she senses like a glimmer of resolution, she's just so, you know,

Starting point is 00:24:07 it's like the tension's like all up in her. So now she's excited. So she's like, yay, Luan! And Sony's like, not like a persona non-crot as speaking of Cretan and goes like back to the potatoes. And Beth needs like, I'm sorry I made a scene. I'm sorry I made a scene. I'm sorry I made a scene, which is, you know,

Starting point is 00:24:24 I love that Beth need have to say everything three times. And I even, I'm sorry I made a scene. I'm sorry I made a scene. I'm sorry I made a scene, which is, you know, I love that Bethany has to say everything three times. And I ain't even, I'm not used to it yet for whatever reason. And I keep writing it down three times every time she talks. But Sonia's like, well, Bethany, apologize to all of us, Lewann. Okay, so you're not the only one. And it's like, well, of course I feel terrible.

Starting point is 00:24:43 You know, it started with Barbara. And I just, I just want to talk calmly. Can we talk calmly? Rhymes with Smith and me. I know it's hard what are you around to cap race? I'll start to keep you're with about you, but try your best. We all try and not throw there are panties at my face right now Well, I try and get through this Tom Jones number. Now. Now I'm sorry Barbara, I've been wrapped up in myself, much like you're wrapped up in a Diane von Persenberg dress. That's for your remote. Listen, I'd like you to crop top and get to the point, okay? So she's like, well, I've been wrapped up in myself.

Starting point is 00:25:16 I deal with a lot, you know, and I know that Pasini's dealt with things like the death of Dennis, horrible custody battle that never seems to end. I really don't think I've ever had to try to set prices for orchestra seats. Tell me that! You know it's hard, you know, and suddenly you're realizing that your matinee hasn't sold out and you're just out there trying your best. It's hard. It's hard I feel you Now listen to death of Dennis was a major thing and I want you to know I

Starting point is 00:25:54 Thought he was special and I liked him so I'm sorry. I was like I'll always remember his Brown what brown hair is a proud is his bald right his bald well he he was a person who I like I like the way he walked he had a stride he had a stride that could take him to and fro very charming man I loved him in those films with Walter Mathau with a charming charming man Walter I loved him in those films with Walter Mathau. What a charming, charming man Walter was. That's the man that's for Christ's sake, like seriously?

Starting point is 00:26:30 To go, I'm sorry. Oh, look at you, calling him a manist. That wasn't me, everyone. So she's like, well, I just didn't want to bring it up because you've moved on. I've got a poster in front of a theater. And Beth, he's like, look, I'm not mad at you. I want the best for you. I'm like, wait, how did we get here? I'm not mad at you. You were just outside screeching. I don't want her near me.

Starting point is 00:26:52 I know. I only want the best for you. I want you to have a sobriety. I want you to go to your meetings. I want you to have your yoga. I want you to have your cap ready to be successful. I like your kids. I like your hat. I want you to swim. I don't want you to drown. I want you to have a nice time with the ocean, don't get stuck by a jellyfish, I hope your card doesn't need to tune up anytime soon, you know, I hope you don't step your toe on a couch, you don't want the best for you, you know? It's like, I don't know what came out for me, I don't know what came out for me, you know what I do know what came out for me, it's an avalanche bullshit, alright? That's what came out to me, you know? Like literal strangers on the street have been nice, shouldn't be about Dennis and the

Starting point is 00:27:24 Wann, okay? You know, it just, it piles on me, and it pios on me and she's like listen the wind you have to make a change Just just receive this, okay? I Receive it, but I'm not signing for it. This is COD Yeah, I will receive it, but unfortunately I won't be able to sign for it because I'm on the road with my cabaret Yeah, so okay, fun. I went't be able to sign for it because I'm on the road with my cabaret. Yeah, so like, okay, Fawn, I win. Can you take your boot off my neck now? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:50 So now it's all okay, you know? They have a like, gone from like a crazy nuclear war to like, ah, it's fine. Let's go swimming. Yeah, yeah, okay, she's like, like, I'm so embarrassed that I made this scene, you know. I'm gonna be in trouble now for this one, you know. And I was like, well, you get in the dinner in a show. That's adorable dinner theater Hmm turns that life is a cabaret my right? It's not a cabaret in the man

Starting point is 00:28:11 Look at the wind stop it. I took it all back. I took it all back Like Lou, I can't just take a win. I don't know if you watched what happens live last night But I did because it was bad thing bad thing bad thing bad thing. Look at my watch out look at me It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It watch that. Look at me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me. Just like completely Bethany out of her mind, you know? I think if Bethany's on drugs, it's Bethany. It's like, she just did too much Bethany before that episode. She's like, hi, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me.

Starting point is 00:28:37 So she was on there and they asked about Luan. And I thought she was pretty nice about Luan like considering all of this. She's like, you know what? Look Luan, yeah, she's Luan. Like what are you gonna do? I like it now. Like I'm clear. I'm clear of Luan. I'm free. I'm free. Yeah. What are you gonna do? She was kind of nice, but then Luan can't just take a win. You know she had an episode where people could get back on her side. She immediately goes on Twitter and she's like, oh really? Friends don't keep tabs. Yeah, I don't know Beth in my life.

Starting point is 00:29:08 She did what a friend would do, you know. It's like even if you feel that way, it's like Optics, Luan Optics. I will say this though. One thing that I am very impressed with about Luan is she really like people can come at her and she like is very unflinching. Like she's shockingly unflinching. She always has a comeback, whether she's like is very unflinching like she's shockingly

Starting point is 00:29:25 unflinching she always has a comeback whether she's right or not but she really does not get rattled and I'm almost like envious of that and you know the comedian Joel Kim booster he's a comedian he's that's it just want to ask no no yeah yeah yeah he's like a he's like an up and coming very very funny No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Bethany and Michelle Bethany and Luan thing. And his theory, which was so great was that, he said, basically, Bethany's had one locked and loaded for every single cast member. She's been able to take every cast member down at any given time.

Starting point is 00:30:12 And she's really never been able to like, never been able to get to Lou. Like she's, she's never, it's not that Bethany's trying to take someone down, but she has never been able to get inside Luan's head ever. And it makes Bethany go nuts. And it's kind of an amazing theory if you really think about it.

Starting point is 00:30:30 I mean, because as crazy as this episode was where she had the meltdown, it doesn't even compare to the Berkshire's episode where they had that fight. And Bethany was just anything, was throwing at Luan. And Luan just sat there shaking her head and I was like, oh, really? just anything was throwing at Luan. And Luan just sat there shaking her head and her

Starting point is 00:30:45 and be like, oh, really? This is how we behave in an airplane. Really? I mean, really? So I think it's a great, I don't know why I got the fence. Luan, and that makes people like Bethany Crazy. And Luan wouldn't be affected by anything. I mean, really, she could see a train coming for a baby

Starting point is 00:31:02 on the train tracks. And she'd be like, really, baby, that's such bad manners to be on the train track. Like, she doesn't think like normal people. You can't, her head is too sick, you know, you can't have that. She would see, yeah, she would see the train coming for a baby on the train tracks and go, oh, really?

Starting point is 00:31:16 We're just gonna go right by my stop. Oh, okay, fine, I'll just stand up here. She'd be like, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby So you'd be like baby baby baby Baby baby this coming a training motion. I love you like a Motion I just made that up. We just like write that in right that yeah It's came to me in a dream. I don't even know where that game problem some time off out so in a dream. I don't even know where that game brought me. Some time, I'm all out. So, they get back to the house and Ramona and Barbara are first, which is hilarious that

Starting point is 00:31:49 they even drove together. You know, that's probably Ramona's big idea of making an effort towards Barbara, is going in a car with her one time. But she comes in and she's like, at the girls' home, my God, it's just us, gross. What am I supposed to do with Barbara? Right? And so, you're just like, well, my clock is punched. I just love when she just like drops a random saying, you know? She's like, smitty, my clock is punched. The sun has gone down on me.

Starting point is 00:32:17 All right, smitty. So then Bethany comes home and Bethany comes home Beth me that a from my Andy guys like who's here who's here who's here. What do we do? What's the last one up? What's that? Asge? Tish? Where's it? What's going on? That's happening. What's your name? What's your name? What are you? You're a boss. Okay. You're not a person. Okay. Bye. Everyone is like, we're gonna do it. Oh, baby. Whoa. Let's dance.

Starting point is 00:32:41 Have a dance party. Okay. Yeah. and so they're gonna start their dance party, but before they start the dance party, remodeled. Goes to Tinsley. Hey, Tinsley, okay? I love the way you dress, but the dress makes your chest look flat, okay? It's something like, it's true, where ya boobs? Where ya boobs?

Starting point is 00:33:00 You poor arthing, you say, quay, because I paid $3,000 for this dress, but you overpay, okay? Pay, okay? You poor thing, you said, CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I say she sometimes it doesn't scratch here. She's everything in kinky's closet and this trip everything is brand new. And then I'm talking to you, you make it brand new. I'm talking to Mary, she never knew brand new. Something's not as love, am I? Emma Math Doa. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, I like that she had to differentiate TJ Max from Madison Avenue implying that perhaps Tinsley's look like it came from DJ Max.

Starting point is 00:33:51 It's from Steinmark. She's like everything's new and that girl ain't getting a sale on it. So what big is she catching? You know, there's basically what she's saying. Which I love like horshaming Tinsley. It's so funny, because tinsley, this is like the first time we've even seen tinsley, not wear lace up to her chin. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:34:11 I know. And now they're slut shaming tinsley. It's like late tinsley alone for Christ's sake. She was so excited to wear something that did not come from American Girlplace. It's time for commercial. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crapman's commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

Starting point is 00:34:31 But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.

Starting point is 00:35:00 We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So uh, so Tinsley's like, she's drunk. I mean, she's been drunk this whole episode,

Starting point is 00:35:27 which is great because don't forget, she got wasted on her date earlier in the evening. So now she's sort of like showing off, she's showing off her boobs a little bit, and then they start to dance and Ramos like, whoa, this is the woman. Remember, wouldn't she have bought it? And now we should get to see one of her pancake tits. Turns out her chest really is flat. It doesn't, it's not the breast is fault, okay?

Starting point is 00:35:46 Just her naturally flat breath. You would have thought she'd already gone through breastfeeding, but guess what? Well, you all know she hasn't, okay? God. So then, it cuts this, so you have just like, sweeping her weave around.

Starting point is 00:35:56 She's like taking out her hair, like, damn. I just do like a little, like, hands on the knees, like, happy dance, you know? I guess. It's so cute. And then, Tinzy gets on to like the kitchen island and she starts like doing this weird, rigid, like it was sort of like a dance.

Starting point is 00:36:13 It was sort of, it looked like she was picking up something that was like beneath her shopping cart and like putting it back on the shelf and then taking something from the shelf and putting it back onto the cart. And then she's like, yeah, I'm only going to bust out my super moves after dinner like that, yeah. So Beth needs up on her room doing yoga and doing this like,

Starting point is 00:36:32 I'm shaking my whole desk. I'm laughing like Santa Claus today on my desk. It's amazing how your living room stays perfectly still. Isn't that great? Well, as living rooms do, Ben. It's so well appointed. Well, I should even have a living room shake when I laugh. Are you that shaming me right now on national internet?

Starting point is 00:36:57 Wow, you know what? It's amazing. I can see into your formal living room too, which is the next room behind it. Baby, so wow. So expansive now. I'm pretty it it's okay. I was trying to do shots of New York City behind me,

Starting point is 00:37:08 but then I just look like I'm like this big dude floating with a most terrifying monster in New York City. Be like Mac, Mac the knife or Mac the knife from McDonald's, remember? Remember the little moon that was like McDonald's open light. Yeah. Okay, so Bethany stretching a tyranny comes in, she's like, you know what, you're so neat.

Starting point is 00:37:27 Look at your room, you always neat. That's what I know is the bad, you bad, you bad, you. That's what I know is. And I'm like, oh God, here comes Dorenda in with her, you know, Dorenda, Dorenda is when she's wasted. It always reminds me of Christmas Eve as in my house, okay. Yeah, because then it turns into like

Starting point is 00:37:46 mediocre will hunting because essentially it's when just like, okay, I just want to see it. It's bad. It's bad. It's not your fault. And then it actually is like, it's very, it is, it gets very moving. Cause Bethany is like, still, you know,

Starting point is 00:37:59 she is like, I don't, like, she is obviously in the thick of mourning and grief and it's horrible. I would not wish it on anyone, but on top of that, it's Bethany. So, like, her emotions are just like swirling in all these places. And during this basically saying, like, listen, you're trying to like be still be Bethany Frankel and Superwoman and doing all these things all at once. And you have to just stop and acknowledge that some really terrible should happen and just like almost be present in it for a moment rather than trying to like run away from it.

Starting point is 00:38:28 Yeah, I should just see you never even acknowledge his bad. I need you to say it's bad, it's bad. It's bad. It is bad. It is. It is. It's bad. It is bad. It is bad. It is bad. It is bad. It's like, okay, this is my seeing hugs. It's bad hugs. You know it's bad It's bad. You know it. It's bad. Did somebody call? Oh, I'm watching she's like Oh, man with a single glove, Shimonie I'm looking at the cab race star in the mirror. I'm asking her to never change a thing because she's amazing.

Starting point is 00:39:10 All right, girls. Dirty Luan. So everybody is basically packing, getting the hell out of there. And Luan is just being even extra with her yoga guy the other guys like how's everything going she's like well Really I feel like I've been hit by a truck a truck filled with bad friends Monsters and don't support me guess what I feel like I feel like I've been attacked by a bus of non-ticket holders We've ever seen the Transformers you ever see when they go from robots to trucks and they just run over some poor cab racer and downtown Los Angeles?

Starting point is 00:39:51 That's a lot of feel. I feel like that. That's what he's basically bumblebee. That's a lot of feel. Bumblebee's strong. So, yes. Why doesn't anyone ever ask, Louanne, are you okay? Are you okay?

Starting point is 00:40:08 Louanne, are you okay? Are you okay? Okay. Louanne, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?

Starting point is 00:40:16 Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? Louanne? You've been hit by a smooth Bethany, okay? So she's a blue op of Raida Right hey, whoa is it a crime? Okay, so Ramona as what does Ramona bring 50 pairs of shoes for three days?

Starting point is 00:40:45 Three day trip. So anyway, Tase has apparently jetted. He's not there to help anybody with their shit. He's out of there. Sir Ramona actually asked to pack her own shoes, which is pretty much the kind of scene you think it would be. Yeah, pretty much. And, you know, and, and Luanne telling us that she loves her life and that she's not gonna let anyone ruin it.

Starting point is 00:41:04 So good for you, Luann. No one's asking you to quit doing cabaret. They're asking you to quit being an asshole. Do you understand? Yeah, exactly. Stop talking about it. You know, so then Ramona tells Sonya she's like, you know what, I got a pack,

Starting point is 00:41:16 but I'm actually not going to steal the airport because this is single port base. It's amazing. That's where people party, disguise, friends, party, you can stay. These are, you don't be mad at me, okay? Sorry, Sony, I'm single, ready to mingle, okay? And Sonya, Sonya goes into Barbara's room. I don't know if that Barbara already leave maybe

Starting point is 00:41:34 or whatever, but it's all empty and I guess Barbara lost some rings. And so she calls a Barbara, she's like, hey, Barbara, I'm in your room and I'm looking for your rings and I don't see them, but God, there's a lot of spray tan all over your stuff. What happened in here? That is not cool everywhere. It was like this, but Gina Liano to shame No kidding it like validated Adrian Maloof

Starting point is 00:41:59 Mm-hmm It's like the ghost of Adrian Maloof is just in there haunting Mm-hmm. It's like the ghost of Adrian Maloof is just in there haunting, haunting, I think. You know, Adrian Maloof has been in your house. The ghost of Adrian Maloof has been there when there's just brown all over your white furniture. It felt like there had been a sea of video that had been shot in there and someone had spray-tanned her forehand.

Starting point is 00:42:15 You know, Hasey's always thrown herself against walls and videos. She's like, eww! You know? Tensely, she's just facing her corner with a black and white cookie wig Actually, I mean the funny part of that that song is sort of about people like tensley which is I guess funny I don't remember anything right rhyming with eggs in that song. I'll hand it to you because I'm not very up on my pop culture. I don't remember anything rhyming with Topa's Waff in that song. Okay, so basically now we're back in New York, right?

Starting point is 00:43:01 No. First, what happened? Sorry, did I skip some stuff? Do you take it over, right? No. Uh, first? What happened? Sorry, did I skip some stuff? Do you take it over, man? I just automatically said no. I just know Andy do. Actually, no. I mean, pretty much so they are packing up. This is also when we first find out that maybe it was mentioned earlier.

Starting point is 00:43:16 I don't remember, but like, you know, Tennessee is going to Palm Beach because Bambi has lymphoma. And then, um, LeWand, that's when LeWand leaves. And she's like, well, my army won't be seen to likes of me for a while. I've had my sheriff's order for a very long time, except for the film or theater, Riva posters, which was amazing. And then they're trying to get somebody to help them with their luggage in the car and Sony's like just no help What this is our driver a woman?

Starting point is 00:43:51 My god, Florida really is a foreign country But now we go back to your own country woman She's like I'm Kiss me so As a Kissamy or Kissamy, I don't know, the larger product, never meant. So Dharinda, now we're back in New York and we see the pops of everyone. Dharinda and Bethany are in Dharinda's new apartment and Ramona's at the Ageless like factory with Sonia and they're like frallicking and Luangia's at the Ageless like factory with Sonia and they're like frallicking. And Louang just at the studio,

Starting point is 00:44:27 been like feeling, feeling, feeling it's me, it's you. I'm on the shoe, I'm wearing a shoe. That just came to me. I'm wearing shoes and I'm looking at you. I'm walking down the sidewalk and I'm gonna talk. It's Giovanni. I'm Giovanni.

Starting point is 00:44:41 I just can't stop coming up with them. So we finally land on D'Ariinda and Bethany at our apartment. Yeah, and D'Ariinda's bed is amazing. Can I just say that? What a beautiful bed. Okay, so D'Ariinda's like, you know what? I wanted to like cherry-billain. Yeah, you know, think I'm gonna like getting bed things. Yeah, this place is great.

Starting point is 00:45:00 It's amazing. But there's no sign of John here. Like, look, your couch cushions are all one one level like he's not obviously not sitting around here Like this on the ground like what the hell is John it's John even here. I don't even smell bacon like where is he? You don't you don't even have to turn on an elf air filter. What's going on here? Okay? I don't I don't even hear Darth Vader walking around all right like what's going on here, okay? I don't even hear Darth Vader walking around, all right? Like what's going on here? Well, like there's no back waxing table in here.

Starting point is 00:45:28 Like what am I supposed to believe that John lives here? Like what the hell's going on? Like, I don't know. Yeah. No, it's just gonna be fun. What's gonna say during this, like, he comes and he goes literally, right? I've never heard me in the morning being like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:42 No, no, never, never. Like seriously, or is he? Like, I don't even see like one straight pupe. Like, there's no John anywhere. Well, you know, I keep my, it's very neat, just like you. No, but she basically is like that John comes in for sex and leaves and but he's like, what?

Starting point is 00:45:57 What? What? As if Bethy doesn't do that for every guy. You know, the Bethy is like, all right, is 3 3rd in the morning and you have to leave right now and here is my ghost Butler to send you out. I know, she was with her husband for like five minutes. So yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:10 And hey, listen, I'm with you. I'm the exact same way. I'm like, thank you so much for your service. Bye. Here's a little roller, bye, get out. And then Durinda goes, you know what? I'm basically doing a teensley, but I'm doing it for dry cleaning.

Starting point is 00:46:21 Okay, I lowered my standards. I'm just, I'm just sleeping with them for dry cleaning. Okay, I got my standards. I'm just I'm just sleeping with them for dry cleaning Okay, I got used to it. I dry-clean my thongs Which is so terrifying. God, I feel so bad for dry cleaners when people do shit like that like I'm gonna dry clean my thongs They're just like Thanks so best things like you know, yeah, let's talk about this weekend I mean that was a lot. I mean, I was exhausted, but you know what? Like I'm calm now. Like, I was in emotional release.

Starting point is 00:46:46 You know, I don't want a lot of negativity with the man, you know? You know, like she's been texting me a lot. You know, Barbara said like she's going crazy. Like because she thinks I might be mad at her. You know, you know, she is. And during this like, no, I don't, because I said one fucking thing to her in Cartagena and she won't speak to me for 10 months.

Starting point is 00:47:03 And then look at you. She's kissing your butt after you destroy her at dinner. I know, but the thing is the difference is that with Durinda and Cartagena, like everything was fine. Durinda was like Luan's biggest like, there were like buddies, buddies, buddies,

Starting point is 00:47:18 and Luan, I still say this was pre-Luan becoming the asshole she was the season. She basically was like, Lewen based, based on their indisturbing, because Dorenda was turning and then Dorenda was like, oh yeah, well you have a fucking mug shot. She just was like, wait, boom, release Bethany's was like, you know, like there was like, there was like grief behind and I'm sure maybe even Lewen on some level understood. It was just, it was a different context and it's just not quite the same and that's kind of what Bethany was even

Starting point is 00:48:05 trying to politely say in her own way you. You got to look at the whole pie. So that was funny. Um, she's like, you know, you got to look at our relationships over the years. Lou Ann has been a monster to me for years. Okay. She's just been a monster to you for a little while. Like she's been a monster to me forever. The real truth here is that Lou Ann is more scared of Bethany because yeah, it best. That's true.

Starting point is 00:48:21 You guess what happens to you? You get fired. Okay. Right. And off to the forum. Everybody says you ran away. But meanwhile, you're being put down with my first dog Robo. Okay.

Starting point is 00:48:30 Well, I think all. Yeah. I also think that Luann felt like she truly had not I don't want to say upper hand. But I think Luann felt like with the during the thing like, oh, that was like out of left field. And like she should apologize to me. And where the best thing thing I'm sure she was like, not that was like out of left field and like she should apologize to me. And with the Bethany thing, I'm sure she was like, not like this is out of left field, but oh shit. She probably saw it as like, I know I did nothing wrong,

Starting point is 00:48:53 but I see that Bethany is spiraling and I don't want this like miscommunication. Like she probably, it doesn't matter. It's not my job. Well, and also she took what, Bethany, she only hears what she wants to hear, right? So when Beth and he's like You're an asshole, but you know, I'm really upset about Dennis

Starting point is 00:49:09 She's like oh well, who's all about her being upset about Dennis and how could she take it out on me? Which is what it turns into you know she hears nothing But yeah, she doesn't want Beth and he's trying to get her fired. I think so during the I think she just wants an audience all the time as you sit there in your living room being filmed for TV for like your six year in a row like I mean I think you all have that in common at the very yeah exactly like yeah even like during an invention we were like the audience of the Luan show it's like okay I mean I don't think you're necessarily wrong that she wants an audience but I think that the intervention I'm not sure that the metaphor applies in that situation.

Starting point is 00:49:45 Like an intended audience. Yeah, so speaking of stars, we now go to Luan over the recording studio where she's working on Phil and Giovanni. And they're like, hey lady, hey lady who supposedly wrote these lyrics and this isn't just someone that DMs shit over Instagram. What was that line again?

Starting point is 00:50:07 She's like, one day at a time, keep it cool and we'll be fine. And the way I'm like, oh, well, okay, one day at a time, keep it cool and we'll be, hey, that's the story of my life, one day at a time. I've heard that somewhere. It was a show I did in Miami. This is it, this is it. I heard that somewhere. It was a show I did in Miami. Hmm. One day I'm on the... This is it, this is it. This is the life you've got.

Starting point is 00:50:30 So you just gotta live your life. I like that. Let's do that. One step at a time. Where have I heard that before? I think that comes from somewhere in my life. Standing tall on the wings of the world. I like that. Let's let's workshop that one. One day at a time, listen, I earned that lyric. This isn't a Mexican restaurant. Chips don't come for free.

Starting point is 00:50:57 So I love when she's describing her new song and she's like, you know, it's funny. I mean, I can't wait with this new song. When I say the name of the song to anyone, they're's like, you know, it's funny. I mean, I can't wait with this new song when I say the name of the song to anyone. They're always like, no. I mean, I'm with the pinnacle of conclusion. I mean, they say, oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying, thank you. Thank you. So then they show Lou Ann singing her song. and they're, you know, these brava is always really mean about not playing what they're actually singing. They're just, it sounds like she's singing a capella right because they're not playing the music. They're so terrible.

Starting point is 00:51:38 And it's that typical Luanne sitting on a stool and she's bopping her head, but to the wrong you know and it's like hot kind of awkward she's like feeling joe vani feeling joe vani feeling joe vani and it feels so good like oh my god auto tune you are auto tune just needs a fucking Emmy Grammy every single year it really does it really does and I also like that, they clearly gave her some notes on how she should sing her like sort of rap parts because you know, if you listen to uh, money can't buy your class, she like articulates every single syllable. She's like beauty, confidence, elegant, fine, promulgous and fireworks. And so now they like uh, make it softened up. So now she's going going one day at a time

Starting point is 00:52:27 Keep it cool. Oh, oh be fine One day Feel like we'll add your consonants, okay, they're like okay, you're gone too far the other way Okay, Luan just stand there and go oh Can you do that they just turn it into all Well, you know when I walk after when I walk out after all my shows the fans scream Giovanni Giovanni so I thought oh, why not make it a song? I'm like they're not screaming Giovanni just screaming Which is different

Starting point is 00:53:01 Can I tell you something Ronnie your fucking green screen is working because from when you just tilted off like that, you like, I could see like this gallery wall behind you with a slate gray. And I literally almost said, you know, Ronnie, I love what you've done with your photos back there. I literally said that in all honesty. And I was like, wait, lie, lie, he did nothing with those, those are not his photos. Uh, he's so sweet. He's so sweet. So, yeah, so basically the wind's just sitting there and she goes, One day out of time, keep it cool. Lose your mind, lose your mind.

Starting point is 00:53:33 Where'd that come from? Did I just sing that? Did I just drop some genius? Am I the lady Kanye now? Where is that part that I just added? That was in the lyrics that that grove sent me over Instagram uh no you just made that up she I did I just made it up wow like a regular Ariana Grande-ness Luan say Grande Luan say and the only person she can count on Luzzi? Me, myself and I get it. If you like to show to put a cabaret on it.

Starting point is 00:54:13 So Durinda is at home with some some old queen she knows named Jan. And she's decided that she's going to have an aerobics day for charity. And she might just take this on the road and compete with Lou Ames, Cabaret thing, which really would be hilarious if she had a traveling aerobics thing. She actually got a little bit screwed because they showed a clip because during the genre of aerobics instructors in the 80s and they were like rivals, now they're friends. And we see a clip of them talking about wanting to do some sort of like aerobics charity thing. It says five weeks ago, which meant they shot this a long time ago, which meant that we

Starting point is 00:54:52 were probably supposed to be seeing like little scenes over the course of season leading up to Durinda's big aerobics class. So she kind of got screwed from promotion because, you know, Luan last season had the little scenes leading up to her cabaret. and so I kind of feel bad. I feel like Darynda deserved more to do about her aerobics that way she could make it a thing. But I'll tell you one thing, if she brings her aerobics class to LA, I am signing up 100%. Oh God, not mean, but I mean, that's no offense to her. It's offense to aerobics. You know, fuck your aerobics. How about you go fuck yourself. Although my mom was a huge aerobics star

Starting point is 00:55:24 in the 80s herself and how which I've mentioned on the show, but she was like a star. Okay. She taught an aerobics convention at the convention center. Okay. She had like a hundred people. I remember going as a little kid to see my mom perform as an aerobics star. And I was like, my mother is famous. I am so doing this one day. And then I never exercised today in my life. I still don't understand why you have not sold a pilot about your childhood. I just don't understand this. Your mom, the aerobic star turned cook, like heavy drinker and then your dad with your lesbian ants with a bowling alley and the like it's just like one thing after another after another it is like I

Starting point is 00:56:08 Look back at my childhood. I'm like yeah, I That was lawyer Hey, that's way better you win no fence dad. Oh, thank God my parents don't listen. Okay, so come on aerobics So yeah, so Dorenda's like I was a big robics competitor, which I just loved the thought of my mom and Durin It going up against each other like you know and then going up for a box of fronzea later being like you know You were good that today I was better and then like being mean behind each other's backs Like ruining each other's lives with rumors in the junior league all times So yeah, so they've decided they're gonna do this 80s thing which again

Starting point is 00:56:44 It's like housewives being like wasn't the 80s fun gay people I think gay people being like hello It was gay I thought that was there was like she made some comments and I apartment and they were like doing aerobics like face to face. It was almost like romantic, except it wasn't obviously. It was like, it was veering on like the closest we could get to a dirty dancing moment that the show could offer us, you know. Yeah, thank God.

Starting point is 00:57:20 So now, so now we go to a scene that I think is gonna be a little tricky for me because it's Why is it tricky? This shit's hilarious, okay? I'm lost the dog fairly. Okay. I mean not really. Well, no, it's tricky because it's tricky because I don't want people to think I'm discounting Truly like how sad it is to lose a pat I mean like I remember I didn't lose a dog by lost a cat I remember I like I cried so hard on my cat died when I was 19 or 20 or whatever is like a cat that I had since I was like in second grade

Starting point is 00:57:49 You know you lost Zena Everyone who has had a pet you know a lot so many people have been through this so it's so sad about making fun of someone Sonia those monsters, well also like, Tinsley, it's like, I mean, her grief is just like, it is, she is so like, I'm not making fun of her grief, but like, wow, like, it's like, you don't know,

Starting point is 00:58:18 I felt myself being torn between wanting to hug this poor girl and be like, oh my god, you gotta get it together a little bit, girl. Please, and even Ramona is saying that. Well, Ramona, she of no emotion, whatever, my god, talk about a sociopath, okay. So Ramona comes over and she tends, he's like, and Ramona, the way Ramona hugs her, she hugs her and she's just like looking at the camera like what the fuck is going on here okay I thought I was gonna get a meat plate yeah Ramona you know is about to go on a date

Starting point is 00:58:51 because she's wearing like glittery Madonna gloves you know like those finger gloves you could be my lucky straw okay I just like you know what you can only be so out of control Tancy get it together and just like oh my, hope I'm not like this from Coco dies. Okay, listen, I got a date. So did you have to put him down? Did you just die of what? What happened? What happened?

Starting point is 00:59:13 This isn't healthy for you. So Tinsley talks about how she gave Bambi like three kisses because Bambi was dying. And you know, we, I really liked Bambi. Remember, we, we enjoyed Bambi's smart turtle neck. So, so she says she gave Bambi three kisses and then tracks it on them 30 minutes later. And she was like, Bambi, Bambi. And so she's telling this like heart-wrenching, albeit a little over-the-top story. And she's like, I was like, Bambi, Bambi.

Starting point is 00:59:42 And Ramona's just staring at her like, this one? This is my cast member? This is why I have to talk with right now? This crazy bitch, huh? I mean, Bambi was sad movie, I guess, but if her mother didn't die, then Bambi wouldn't have been Bambi. Like, what the hell are we crying about?

Starting point is 00:59:55 That movie's so old. You know what? You wanna see a sad movie? You need to go watch the job interview with Rob and Xero, okay? That's sad movie. That's sad. I cried the entire plane ride. I wasiro, okay? That's that move. That's it. I cried the entire plane ride. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So even the music, I don't know if you noticed that even the music didn't know how to play it. It's

Starting point is 01:00:15 like, do we go comedic right now? Do we go tragic? So it's just what was in this weird holding pattern of It was like should I be funny. I'm sort of being a little funny, but I'm being serious too like when what what can I do? I'm tensile like oh my god. I caught 911 and then all the fire trucks came but they couldn't do anything You caught something even imagine they're like hello We are bored one one. Oh one one oh this bitch from Miami again great I cannot believe she called 911 I mean as adorable as Bambi was and as a taciton sure she was 911 people are just so cynical now you know especially in a big city like there's I live across the street from a retirement home

Starting point is 01:01:06 Like a big huge Russian retirement home girl. There are ambulances and fire trucks out there every day three times a day because you know And now you have to really be like bleeding out of the eyes to get any attention at all You know, I could just imagine because you know the old people gather around and watch the see who's being put in the truck today Or whatever and I could just imagine like this little tiny lump, you know this little dog coming out people be like come on Your dog for a nine one one. Just imagine the paddles. It's like that episode of Simpsons one day showed the vet trying to revive a hamster Where he out the palsy clear boom at the hamster Well, yeah boom at the hamster the so yeah and she's like uh... remote is like well this is major

Starting point is 01:01:49 for tinsley not to be way or lashes or any makeup and all not even lip gloss woow can't believe look she's not wearing any of her old-looking makeup. It's shocking. Wow. It's Ramona's like She doesn't look 70. I don't know what's down. So Ramona tries to console her. She's like, well, tinsley, he went to a better place, okay?

Starting point is 01:02:21 He wasn't going to get any better, okay? Sometimes just go on and let it go and I know it's hard I know it's hard. I know you loved him. Is it him? Is it her? But what exactly died by the way? Was it a dog was a cat? What was this? Cancer. I don't care. Not judging. Just say. Just do to know. Then Sonia has come in right and she's just kind of looking at Tincy like oh god She goes. Yeah, I haven't seen someone this hysterical over losing a dog and this is from someone who had a dog funeral Yes, so yeah, it's also from someone who just gave away all their dogs Suddenly so let's not forget that okay, man, you insensitive monster Sonia. I wait. I didn't follow that

Starting point is 01:02:57 Sonia gave away her dogs. You don't remember she had like three dogs and she's just like oh No, she just kept this one. she get she got rid of the other one. She's like, well, you know, it's just too much So she got rid of all the other dogs and just kept this dog. Well, she's of course gonna keep me lose Me lose a very proud dog Me lose could I be given away or RIP me lose me no and Bambi having fun up in doggy heaven. Yeah, so Yeah, so it's like this If I ever get a real name at bambi, because I love bambi so much. So Sunday goes, well, you're in a heated

Starting point is 01:03:31 moment right now. No, she couldn't rethink that one later. She's tired and so she's and she's like, well, my mom and my sister are gonna have a viewing of bambi tomorrow. And at that point, the music was like okay got it we're doing comedy dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb The Ramona gets full on Shannon because I have to freeze him before you creamy them So they froze her but then my sister wants to hold her so they're gonna unfreeze her and run is like what what do you mean? They're gonna own freezer. What do you do microwave? She's got a frozen dog Can't do that you got a thought out again and Ramona's face. I mean Ramona was doing full shadow of a door. You know how shadow of a door does that thing? Where she was, where she like her mouth is open and her eyes are bulging and she just sort of said that little shake like, eh, eh, eh. Ramona was doing

Starting point is 01:04:35 it. It was she was so, she was like, who wants to hug a D thawed dog? Okay. I'm like what you did start to hang out with Mario again. Oh Dog a thought dog and sony's like I know she goes I know I know this is very upsetting for you Tinsley. You're alone in the world You're not with Scott Nemore your own mother mocks you on national television. You live in a hotel for crying Like some you just listen to wrote circus by me. Intensive like speaking of Scott, he was so sweet. I just got these shoes from him. Look at the name of the suit.

Starting point is 01:05:15 Look at the name and Sonny goes, Bambi, Shimmer, Sneaker, what? Scott centers like litter sneakers, I guess, said Bambi on them as I gift. And even Sonia is like, hmm, I think these are just like another gift. I don't think these are the things that you give for bereavement, especially for someone that you allegedly haven't spoken to in a long time. Come on, that's so powerful. He bought her a glitter suit named Bambi.

Starting point is 01:05:42 I think that's so cute. And Tim's, he's like, you know what? Oh, Tinsy's like, I don't know if I can go to a rollbugs. I just don't know if I love him. I mean, that scene was one of the funniest fucking things I've seen. Oh my god. I was dying. I was like, I need a drink.

Starting point is 01:06:00 You know what Scotch have done is adopted a penguin for her. And by the way, I think we ever gave a shout out but when we went to Minneapolis at the meet and greet one of our listeners came up and showed us that she adopted a penguin at the zoo on our behalf So we actually have a penguin baby out there. Yeah, we do and I have I have the penguin I mean the little stuffed version here. Oh, yeah, I've got to find the certificate somewhere because we have to, we have to keep tabs. We need to have someone, we need to have like a proxy caretaker to go check in on our penguin every now and then. Okay.

Starting point is 01:06:34 So then we go to Luan who has gone over to Ramona's house. And she's like, all right, well, how's the dating life? You don't seem to have too much of a hard time with that slut butt. And we're not just like, whoa, you know what, she's keeping up here. So I couldn't get him, but it's like catching with these, you know? Yeah, I also like, by the way, when the doorbell rang, when the one was there, she's like, whoa, come on, Coco,

Starting point is 01:06:58 let's see who it is. I mean, let's face it, you only have about three more weeks left. And I'm not gonna cry for you to wait, Tense did okay. Once you're dead, you're dead. No freezing. You're looking you're not dead the way I talk on the phone and let you just stand in the middle of the street. Okay? You're lucky you didn't die during support other women the monologue, you know. You don't support other dead puppies, okay? Speaking of supporting other women. Can I just take this moment? Please?

Starting point is 01:07:24 To say thank you to my dear friend Michelle Fyfer Oh Me a letter. Oh, yes look love Michelle. It says Deerani Henry Rose was built on inclusivity of everyone Thank you for being such an inspiration within your community Okay, I think this goes to prove that I don't really know Michelle Fyfer I mean just see if she knew me she never would have said that you know, it's my inspired gay people

Starting point is 01:07:52 I was just wondering I was just wondering because I just got a notification of a package and I'm like I think it's my Michelle fight for back that's it and so Michelle Fyfer has this new scent a line of sense and it's called Henry Rose and she sent it to us From wide for price celebration. Can I tell you I'm the best smelling gay person in town? Whoa look at that Henry Rose, you know what? Can I tell you why I'm so mad at you Ronnie because you're a way to cavalier about the fact that you have a handwritten letter from Michelle Fyfer and you're like What I just put it up on the I just put it up on the the fact that you have a handwritten letter from Michelle Fyfer and you're like, Michelle, that's even, what? I just put it up on the, I just put it up on the, I'm sorry. No, but you're like, well,

Starting point is 01:08:28 well, I have Michelle Fyfer. It should be like, oh my God, I have a Michelle Fyfer wrote me a letter, where's me? I'll buy for a Romeo letter. That is like a icon. Oh, come on. Listen, this isn't the first day I've been Ronnie Carham. Oh, well, she thinks she can get into our cabaret. She has another thing coming. Could you imagine if Michelle Fiverr gets it on our podcast?

Starting point is 01:08:48 She'd be like, Yeah, she'd be like, where am I? What am I doing? I don't know if the person's living room is so weird looking. She would be so lost in our show. I just feel like she'd just stare at us penetratingly. Like, this is what you guys do. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:04 Really? I mean, I know I've been in some real clunkers, but this, this is, this is not good. Yeah, well go get your Henry Rose. It smells delicious. It's a partnership by her because by the way, she's also a national treasure and is not in nearly enough things. And we were just talking about Greece too last week. I mean, come on. Okay, so here we are back to Ramon's apartment. So they're talking, they're having like small chat and Ramon is like, well, you know, dating.

Starting point is 01:09:31 I just don't have that chemistry. And Luann just keeps interrupting everything she's saying. As Luann does, like, you know what you mean is. Ramon is like, well, you know, I can get, I'm just like, but you can't keep him, I Ramon. Yeah, but you know, it's like, I'm sitting next to this quiet dinner party and he was, you know, there was, it's just not chemistry, right? Because we're older, Haramona. Yeah, but you know, it's like I'm sitting next to this guy at dinner party. And he was, you know, there was just, it's just not chemistry, right?

Starting point is 01:09:47 Because we're older. We know what we want. We're pickier. Am I right, Ramona? Yeah, but you know, I just didn't feel chemistry energy. What is like, can she just fucking say her letter? Just well, because Luanne knows it's going to be the same old thing. Whoa, he's just great man.

Starting point is 01:10:03 He's six foot nine. He owns a great man. He's six foot nine. He owns a plum company. He also owns a basketball team's shoe contract. And he, on the weekend, he enjoys taking long walks down Madison Avenue, but only between 83rd and 82nd Street going back and forth and back and forth for half an hour. It's very exciting.

Starting point is 01:10:24 All right, cut the chairs, Ramona remote did you like them or not? No? You know I have chemistry with Mary. Okay, that's it. It's that. It's just Mary. That's it. Oh god We're going back down that stony path again Ramona. I'm like no. I just can't cuz too much is happening Nope, so I'm at dinner. He was like whoa so melancholy. He hurt me, no, but we just different people that, and she's like, and she cries a little, which it's really weird seeing Ramona have any kind of emotions. And the other scene, I was like, she's faking it.

Starting point is 01:10:55 But now I don't think she's faking. It's weird seeing Ramona have emotions. I don't know what to do. Ramona, I mean, Ramona has definitely a history of crying, but I guess not as much recently. Well, I mean, I think it'll let her last big sobbing moment was when she and Bethany were in Mexico in the pool and she was wrapped in pool noodles and she's like, I don't know why.

Starting point is 01:11:14 I don't know why I do this, Bethany. I don't know why I do this. And she was wasted, you know, I guess there's not that many times of believable crying from Ramona. Maybe that's maybe that's how I should say. She's either wasted or she's faking it like in Morocco, but it made me kind of feel for a moana, which is bizarre. Okay, so I'm sorry, everyone. I'm apologizing publicly for feeling for a moana because it's just not a way to live. So yeah, so basically, yeah, she's talking about how, like, you know, she saw Mario.

Starting point is 01:11:43 And then LeWan is saying well How about that trip? I really felt like a punching bag for Bethany's trauma I mean, I'm trying hard not to take it personally But you know when you're a cabaret star you're an emotional being what can I do but take it emotionally? I mean, let me tell you something not to be dramatic, but I was on the curb getting ready to be picked up and go out and if I went out, I would have had a drink. I would have and that would have been on all you ladies. Yeah, so that would have been on you. That still would have been on you.

Starting point is 01:12:17 And Raman was like, well, I'm gonna tell you this, took some gonshin' for you to come back to that table. I thought you were gone, yo. I mean, if you were back looking, that still wouldn't still come back to that table. I thought you were gone. You know, I mean, you were back looking at the stool and still coming back to the table. I mean, that was amazing. You look stupid. Whoa, but you came back.

Starting point is 01:12:31 Whoa. So then there's this hilarious moment, Romanos. Well, we end up going to tell you something. I'm not attacking. I'm just trying to tell you it's a friend, okay? Sometimes you can be self-absorbed, self-absorbed, okay? And you just, you need to still work on it. If you can, if you can, self absorbed self absorbed, okay? And you just you need to work on if you can't if you can and Luangus Well, I don't disagree that I've been self absorbed and I own it

Starting point is 01:12:55 So anyway, I told you guys that I've got a Christmas show coming up, right? I think you just you cannot write this shit better. It's so good. It's like I own being self-absorbed So we come into my Christmas show because it's sold out and we're meant to say well basically we support you We love you, but we don't want to sit and watch you work It's just let me watch me work. I mean it's my Christmas shows It's a yes totally different. It's a totally different show. How could you even say something like that? I'm gonna like, well, look, okay, support you. I want to look at you work. Okay? Do you want to come to the factory and watch me make age lists, which turns old

Starting point is 01:13:33 ladies and little children? Nobody can even recognize me more? No, probably not. Probably don't want to see it. Yeah, and you know, the other reason I can't go to your Christmas show is because there's one time when I was a little girl. I was like, I want to go see a Christmas show on OIS. And then Jeldian Parsons said, no, you can't go because you're going to ruin the Christmas mirror for everyone. And you're the worst one ever. And Santa Claus is going to give you gifts into this day. I'm never seeing a Christmas show because it's too traumatic for me.

Starting point is 01:13:58 Okay. Sorry, I'm sorry, but that's the truth. Listen, Dwayne, we're seeing a show. Okay. I want to see the game. You know what? I'm sorry, but that's the truth Listen to me and voice in your show, okay? I don't want to see you again. You know what? I'm social Okay, I'm so sure that's it. So here's what I'm gonna do instead of once you show, okay? I made a surprise party for Sony and to Red then you can come after cuz it's done at nine. Bye exact same time Cheers, I can't wait to see the look up their faces when they're surprised. I surprised that Barbara won't ruin at all And look at the way it's like oh me neither. I can't wait to see their faces except I won't be there

Starting point is 01:14:34 Why do you have to do this the same night as my show? Listen, you know my show isn't just over when it's over there's the after and then there's the DERRING And then there's the when I walk outside and people scream JOLODI and after the show there's the after party and after the party there's the hotel lobby and after the hotel lobby there's the lobby lobby and after the lobby lobby then we're gonna go see my friend Bobby I can go on I can go on I'm gonna come up with rhymes because I'm a songwriter now and so Ramona's like listen sorry

Starting point is 01:15:09 It's just no one's not okay. She has Ramona. There's seven days in a week She has yeah, but you know what and she tells us she's like there was a group text saying none of us want to go again So I just came up with the idea to have a party sorry So she goes sorry, okay and the way van goes, so you already talked about it? Listen, I mean, okay you're gonna have it then I'm like okay okay okay okay I'm not mad at all, I'm not mad at all. Let me just drop, let me just drop something that they call knowledge in the music industry. First of all it's a show. So it's a completely different type of show from what you saw, okay? So instead of singing small Cos I smile I'll be singing Merry Christmas Merry Christmas joy to the world. It's a silent night

Starting point is 01:15:55 Totally different Joy to the world your friends are unsupportive Jingle bells jingle bells jingle not all the way because no one's here. Silent front row. Jack the hall's face. Now I get that every I think that the argument here is bigger because basically I think that they probably would have just gone to the Christmas show if it was just a Christmas show and that was it.

Starting point is 01:16:22 But basically Lou Ann is trying to have two season finale endings at her fucking cabaret. And this entire show is not about your cabaret. I love it. Loved it when I saw it. Glad you're doing it. But you're trying to make two season finales about you being a cabaret star. And that's just not gonna work, you know?

Starting point is 01:16:38 Yeah, it's not. It's not. And also, there's sick of going, honestly. I get that too. Especially because they went to the Halloween thing, and they had to wait hours and hours. And she got, like, they probably felt of going, honestly. I get that too, especially because they went to the Halloween thing and they had to wait hours and hours, and they probably felt a little burned by that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:50 So, yeah, Louins, it's like, it's like when your parents, take your parents not wanting to show up at your school plate. And I know my mother still never saw my second grade turn as Nora in a doll's house. Yes, I had a very sophisticated second grade play. That's correct. I'd like to think of her more I had a very sophisticated second-grade play. That's correct. I'd like to think of her more as like a bye-bye birdie type. English teacher! An English teacher! What am I gonna do? He's an English teacher.

Starting point is 01:17:15 I'm not marrying him. She like changes the whole plot. He's poor. The teacher with air would never marry a poor person. We love you, Conrad. Oh, yes we do. We love you, Conrad. Oh, yes, we do. We love you, Conrad. As much as true when you're not near us, we're at the cabaret. Forget the out of my life. Yes, you would be birdie and by by birdie.

Starting point is 01:17:39 It'd be like, Louie. She also be the mayor. Kids, what you got to do with kids today? Send them to the cabaret. Kids. You'd go home to watch them at 11 p.m. because you were a lame mom. Kids. So, she's like, well, do you remember? Okay. So next we're at aerobics, right? How many songs have we sang in this episode? I mean, we are like, well, a cab is a very special cabaret episode. What are you gonna do? I know, Lou Baray. So

Starting point is 01:18:10 Everyone comes dressed wacky for the 80s aerobics thing and Sony of course comes in With a broken crotch in hers. Yeah, I also felt like Durinda was wearing the Bambi Schummer sneakers I was like wait a second. Did you take those from Tin's Lee Durinda? I know they did huh. They did look like that Some skipping through some of this okay, so Ramona is like whoa. I'm very happy with G string. Oh, I love it Okay, I remember the 80s my favorite thing was dancing such a dancer And I was like oh god Ramona dancing. This is gonna be priceless. I know. So of course they started talking about Tinsley. And Ramona's like, whoa, she's freezing her dog and then thawing it. The dog is frozen right now

Starting point is 01:18:51 and the band people will be defrosted. So we're sicker can hold the dog and a blanket. Like, what? What is this? This is crazy. What do we show us? Is this sunset? No. It's from my ghost. Oh my god. It's like, yeah, Ramona is like, yeah, her life's not going as she wants.

Starting point is 01:19:06 No squat, no man. I mean, what are you going to do? Okay, listen, she came to the door with no lashes on. Oh, you're just such a dumb, I mean, Ramona is such a dumbass. Yeah, smells like fish, fish. She says that because she you know they're both saying how they think that she's still talking with Scott. So then Luan shows up. She's like, you smell the fish. It's probably fish.

Starting point is 01:19:33 Okay, we're duck. You order a fish off a menu and the fish comes to the table. It's probably fish. Where are you going with this remote? I don't like it. Like some fish please, that's what I'm saying. So Luan shows up and she's like, yeah, as well, surprisingly, I'm not just a cabaret star. I also used to teach aerobics at the nurses at the rest of home, I used to work. Ah, ah, ah. These are gentlemen, I like to introduce you

Starting point is 01:20:01 to my backup dancers, the rest home rockets. Come on out girls So Bethany and Barbara comes in so they can all begin so Bethany's like all right, all right You know, I wanted to say after you capray. I want to do a smores and hoist party You know what cuz I got a surprise for everybody. Yeah, I just want to do you know, I love a plan works You know smores rhymes with horse, you know what yeah, there goes It's a lot of play on words what they do yeah, and she goes for some of us that's not a reach to be horse. She goes, Oh, by the way, the win. Thanks for the present. Really nice. Great. I already put it in closet. Have no idea where it is waiting for one of my interns to take it, but no one lost a white elephant

Starting point is 01:20:35 yet. So that's what we're at with that. But you know, thanks. It was thoughtful. And when uh, Dorenda here is that Bethany got a gift and Barbara too.. And Barbara, yeah. They both got like a fuzzy jacket or something like that. No, it's a fuzzy jacket. Had some furl on it. It was very nice. I'm not gonna say anything bad about it. I mean, it was piece of shit. I'm not gonna say anything bad about it, you know.

Starting point is 01:20:53 Yeah, I must have been customer appreciation day. But I'm not gonna say anything bad about it. I'm like, you just did. You literally just did before. So Dorenda is like, okay, all right. All right, wow, wow. Okay, she destroys your dinner and you send her a gift. We argue a card to heen in, I got a cruise five to 10 months.

Starting point is 01:21:09 This invited from the clan bake, from the clan bake. Okay, from the clan bake, I had to stay home and watch Law and Water, it's actually pretty fun. So I sort of, I guess I owe you a thing. So, well, I bought her a gift for my own reasons, those reasons are between us. Most likely, I don't want her to get fired, but you know, guess, guess what you will and

Starting point is 01:21:27 Durant is like oh you think I think I'm going to go with Very cool after what she did Durant is so fucking nasty, you know Durant is a really fun person to watch, but she really is fucking nasty Luan runs out of that dinner after just being slaughtered by everybody She runs out pretty much she wasn't crying, but as far as it was basically as far as the way I'm getting, as close as the way I'm getting to crying, she went out of their miserable leaving after she just gets slaughtered. Durinda comes to act like she's supporting her, and now she's immediately using it against her, like, oh,

Starting point is 01:21:57 you were so hysterical and you were saying that was so mean, it's so horrible. Oh, God, Durinda! Could you imagine if she was actually drunken to scene because then we would have had some fireworks but instead she was, you know, she's like, I can't get started the class. So they, um, yeah, so they start the class. They do some aerobics and stuff. We get some 80s editing, which was fun. And then we hear a lot of like, all right, down, push it, push it out, push it out, down, squeeze, squeeze down, push it up, push it out, Jan, push it, squeeze, push it, sunshine, great.

Starting point is 01:22:30 Remember this, squeeze, and Beth needs, oh my God, too, doing this all over the country. Beth needs such a shit starter. And then she was on, when she was on watch what happens live last night, she's like, oh yeah, I told her, she should have a live show. She should take it all over the country to do different kinds of aerobics

Starting point is 01:22:46 and call it aerobics medley. Isn't that good? Isn't that good? Isn't that good? Yeah, it is good. And then the ring goes, oh, as much as I love to aerobics in the 80s, it does feel a bit day pass A.

Starting point is 01:22:58 I'm like, day pass A. I'm sure that's. So then Ramona comes over over so they're done basically and uh Ramona comes over to barb and she's like oh oh I bought listen I just wanted you to know that I'm having a party on the same night is Louis cap Ray and I just wanted to show you here and invite it I mean I know it doesn't feel like you're in fight it because I never invited you like I invited everybody else but it's just because I knew you were gonna go to the cap ray and Barbara's invited, I mean, I know it doesn't feel like you're invited, because I never invited you, like I invited everybody else, but it's just because I knew you were going to go to the cab right?

Starting point is 01:23:27 And Barbara's like, yeah, I mean, that's my friend. I'm going to call the cab right. So, you know, the only reason why she invited me was because she knew I wasn't going to go. So then Barbara goes over to Sonia and it's like, you know, Ramona is having a thing at eight o'clock at the exact same time, and it's just rude, and then I don't know how to do that. So then Sonya marches up to Ramona, and it's like, you know what, you know what, you're

Starting point is 01:23:52 having this is too much. Having a party at eight, the exact same time at Luanz, have it at nine, this is just not right. And I was like, whoa, there are reasons that you're going to actually appreciate quite a bit. If you just hold on and just trust me, okay? No. No. You're gonna actually appreciate quite a bit. If you just hold on and just trust me, okay? No. No.

Starting point is 01:24:06 No. No. And then she's like, okay, fine. Having a surprise report if you okay, but don't tell Durinda, you blew it for me, Barbara. You blew it for me, okay, you happy? You blew it for me with your rap dress. Why don't you rap your dress around your mouth next time?

Starting point is 01:24:21 She's so mad. It was so, Barbara's like, I didn't want anything. I was like, oh, Barbara got her revenge. She got her revenge. I'm a remote. That is such a dick move on remote as far as, so then Bethany goes over to, or Lou Ann, a Bethany you're talking. And Beth, Lou Ann's like, well, I mean, to throw a party

Starting point is 01:24:39 on the exact day of my Christmas show. I mean, how much more can I take? That's just mean. It is. It's just mean. Can I take mean how much more can I take that's just mean It is just mean I take How much more can I take oh so dramatic so Bethany oddly enough Finds a good compromise like you know what we're gonna do we're gonna go over here We got the cabaret. We're gonna do a toast because you'll be there on time And we're gonna do a toast and then we're gonna go to bar and get like shit face him reals Okay, like that's all we're gonna do is that's I wanted. I just wanted you girls to see me doing my art

Starting point is 01:25:09 Which is correct. Yeah, so they found the great compromise of 2019 Great compromise and then next week is the season finale which is so wrong so wrong We deserve three more episodes. Yes, we sure do, damn you people. But what a fun episode, my God. Thank you for delivering consistently and all the time. Okay, Google, I mean, okay, real housewives, and you want? Google too.

Starting point is 01:25:35 You know, Google, thank you for delivering results for us. Yeah, you sure did on this, hang out. That's for sure, everybody. Thank you for being on crap and on demand with us. This live stream was super fun. Everybody, go check out crap and on demand on patreon You can watch over almost 50 videos now. It's crazy. Okay, and Go get your live show tickets all the city if you want to see a list of all the cities were coming to and get ticket links for all of those

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Starting point is 01:26:30 Okay, everybody, thanks so much. We'll talk to you next time. Have a great weekend. Bye, everyone. Bye, bye. Bye, bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell

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