Watch What Crappens - RHONY Live in Phoenix: Crest Wars and Slob Kebabs

Episode Date: June 22, 2018

We're in Phoenix to record this week's instant classic episode of Real Housewives of New York. Luann is out of rehab, but will Ramona the Slob Kebab be able to control herself? And why is Doridna yelling about Crest? Enjoy, and thank you Phoenix! This week's bonus is part one of our Big Brother Season 20 Cast Preview. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Give Them BenRon tees at crappensmerch.com avail through May! **Crappens Live is coming to San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, and has added second shows in Atlanta and Philadelphia! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but he's not ready to run. Who cares what happens, but there's so much that happens. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Sivoni, she don't take no baloney. Prisbee, wow, where'd he dowry?

Telly Barlow. When she goes Barlow, we go high low. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the Berg. Jess Ayan, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Andrea, get your ducks in a roll blaze. Suzy, going to the toad. Megan the Slayer Taylor.

Ava Nagila Weber. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Haley Grant, Fagrant Master, The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters, And Lizzie Drucker, A Fan Motherfuck. We love you guys. Hey there Ronnie here. We just had the most fun show in Phoenix, Arizona. Over it, stand up live. They recorded our audio for us,

but they started a little bit late. So the whole recap is in here. They just cut off a little banter, which you know, could be a blessing. But we start where Ben and I are kind of arguing because Ben wore pants after telling me he was gonna wear shorts, so I wore shorts, and then he wore pants.

So then he looks like an ass me, but really, I don't care, because you know, my ass would have worn shorts anyway. So thank you, Tafinix. Thank you to Stand Up Live. We had the best time. Enjoy this. We're gonna pick up like five minutes into the show.

So thanks, everybody. Enjoy. It's a dissent two ways, because in one way he manipulated me. I would never wear shorts, okay? I have a mother. See, it would be horrified to know that I'm in shorts. So I wouldn't have done that, but I was like, no, he's right,

we can be casual, it's 110. And also, I was totally, I went to three old navies this week, looking for white hats, and a 40-way size, okay. Did you find them? No, I didn't find them. Oh, sorry.

They don't let us wear those anymore. Now old navies done this new thing, because it used to be like if you're too fat for, you know, dillards, that like you're still fit enough to not be like Aaron's big and tall picture framing, whatever the fact that is. I'm pretending I don't know what it is, you know? You're wearing a picture frame.

You can buy some things that old Navy, but now they have slim fit. Those mother fuckers. Yeah. Well, it's not right. They come in my size, but they don't come in my size. My butt crack is like this big coming out of the tough. I reject it all.

So there's the really good news. The really, really good news is that you guys are all here tonight because not just that you guys are here, but what? So in cute hair. Cute hair. The good news is that you have cute hair. Sorry to interrupt.

No, the good news is that as luck would have it, we are doing a live show after just an absolutely phenomenal episode of Real House of New York City, right? Oh my God. Wow. It was like, came down from the Bravo Gods just for Phoenix. It's everything wrong with America and the Worlds. Yeah.

All wrapped up into one wedding taco. Yeah. It was delicious. It was delicious. Well, pick an epa. Even the classics when we can actually choose what we're going to do most in advance, we'll still get there and be like, oh, this is about abusing your wife.

Like, we'll get here and be like, this is so awkward. You know, we did that with Real Housewives of Orange County. It was the most awkward fucking darkest thing ever. Yeah. And so we never know, you know. Well, we also had a Holocaust episode. And when we did our DC show, it was like, hey, to reach this to a Holocaust memorial for 45 minutes,

I would like, hey guys, you know the Holocaust, I'm all right. And all I had to do was say Holocaust and people were like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so good. I said it like 30 times. It's like a button. It's like a fart button. But instead, we...

I just say fart. For you guys, you guys get the unique perspective of Countess Luandola Saps having gone through the system. It's this is the vibe I'm not into it! Previously, before I was putting the system forever on the real housewives of New York City. Previously before I was changed and to a prison bitch. So these are the previously before I had the Palm Beach prison tattooed all over my body. So I had no other break out.

Before I earned these two teardrops. What the fuck does Louan think she was? We'll get to that. Oh my god, I cannot wait. Anybody need a toothbrush girl? It has to go. I got so nervous today, I thought I was going to get shived. It turns out I was just priv coming by. It was still extremely violent, and I'll never recover.

I'm so far violated. My face will always be a different color for my neck now. I'm still dressed like the hamburger, Larry. So for those of you who are new to all of this, this bitch goes to jail, she gets, well, we'll get to that wide later. She goes to jail overnight pretty much. And the ghost story have for like three days.

And now she's walking around like two-pock left La La's body and jumped into her body. You know what's so annoying is that I actually have a two-pock joke La La's body and jumped into her body. You know what's so annoying is that I actually have a two-pock joke later, and it's been ruined. No, she's kidding. Well, shorts. Yeah. All lies on me. So, just in case everyone forgot how delusional Sonya is, her previously is, well, you know,

I have my clothes, my shoes, my app, my pickles, I don't know where pickles is actually, the rest of it I still have. I've got a mouse pad that I'm doing now. I have a cute little applique I put on, computer number three. Do you know how hard it is to get a mouse to use a pad? I don't even understand anything wrong.

Tenthous and rice in this place and no one wants to use a pad. Oh, they're fired from the internship program. Oh, so the last in the previous leases, Lewand driving in the car, just like, oh well, you know, it's been busy. I've been rehab, I've been to prison. I've been to paradise, I've been to prison. I've been to paradise. I still waiting to get to me So I really good. I love a Charlene reference. Okay, I love that I appreciate look the only podcast that can reference Charlene and two-pock in the same 30 seconds

so the episode opens with Luann in her new apartment, and Dorenda shows up, and she's two days out of rehab. Okay. So, I was just like laughing. Not Dorenda. I think two people thought you meant Dorenda, and they were like, don't would never happen. I'm not never happening, maybe. Dorenda will be like, there is nothing wrong with me, okay. I like that Dorenda shows up in her boot.

And the WAN just doesn't even ask about it. Which either says something about how self-involved she might be, or more just like, oh well, she probably dropped that giant soul checker on her foot again. That's Dorenda. Yeah, it's just like, oh well, yeah. I think nobody can ask Dorenda. It's like Dorenda's in the Yeah, just like, oh well, yeah. I know that he can ask Durinda. It's like Durinda's in the hospital.

You go visit Durinda. You don't say, why are you here? What happened? You're just like, I'm here. I got the text. You got your room back. Well, I thought I turned the anvil into a Christmas decoration at the end of my foot.

So Lewand Scottie Dog. Has she always had the Scotty Dog? Yes, and I'll tell you why I can say that so authoritatively. It's because last night, they re-arrered the Real House of New York 100th episode. I don't know if anyone saw that. Did anyone see that? And they showed clips of Louanne getting the dog asked in for her kids like 10 years ago, which I'd forgotten about. That dog wants out.

And Andy Cohen, Andy Cohen is like, is that reminds you of a different time in your life? She's like, well, yes. He's like, was that the best time in your life? She's like, well, it's just, and then she's like, a roadtreats or a chair? Hold on. All right, time for Prestate.

Anyway, stick in, right? That's what we're talking about. That door opened and that dog was like, give me the fuck outta here, okay? Instead right by the door, it kind of looked at Durinda like, oh no, not more. It was like holding its leash. It was just standing there like, please, take me out, please.

I would be terrified of her with that dog because when the wind was making coffees, you were that big ass mugger, that tiny little coffee machine, and it was like bouncing like this. I didn't know that thing that's falling on the dog, thousands of times. The dog's like, no, not the coffee machine again. Why am I so compelled to stand here under the coffee cup? I did like watching her make coffee, like by opening the lid

and then just pouring a bottle of absolute ink. But... Oh, stupid. Okay, it said Durin. So Durin is like, who do you deal with? Who do you deal with? Who do you deal with?

Like, Lohan just accomplished something by getting out of rehab. You're great. You brought that in Bishi-Tield. And the ones I couldn't even guess. You know, it was amazing. I was in a cocoon. It was a great recipe. Do you want some cookies from Lava?

It's like, no, no, not the cookies. The first substance to read this ever said no to, in any scene ever. Yeah, so, Lu and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I,

Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I,

Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Louie and I, Lou you're wings, I beg you to fly. Butterfly is a bug with wings. It's beautiful, Tom. Thank you, Durinda. Thank you. Coffee tea. Do you love me?

She's still staring at cookies, Durinda. I love Durinda. So Durinda's like, oh, yeah. So he was like, well, you know, I was in a cocoon, a cocoon of yoga and self-interspection. Do you want me to bring the cookies over to you? I can do this. We can talk about the cacoon over cookies. And then she went and tripped on her carpet out.

And I don't know. Of course, I'm like, I had to rewind it three times. Because you're like, tripped, and then she like, stomped on the carpet like, you had carpet, bad. She opens her fridge and it just stocked with Rose. It's like bottles and bottles of Rose. Oh, I was just about to get rid of you. Yeah.

Aston Taylor, tell her. I just keep singing, no, no, no. She's not even trying, which is my favorite kind of rehab. It's like, well, I just got out of rehab. Yeah. Missage. I played cards. I learned canasta.

What's amazing, girls? It's like a trip advisor, the best review ever of this rehab. She's stocked with Rosé. I was like, we're in the wrong business. She went to the St. Regis. Let's be honest. I'll get rid of these. One by one. How am I to? Very slowly. I'll just put them here next to the St. Regis. Let's be honest. I'll get rid of these one by one.

Out my throat. Very slowly. I'll just put them here next to the coffee maker. Let's get those fit on there. No, sorry, Aston Durenda's like, oh look, this has been non-farty kind of milk You have to ruin everything. I know. I don't want to think about Luan farting I don't think about anybody farting, but especially talking about it with Durinda. I farted. What can you use it? Because you know that Durinda is one of those fuckers

who will talk about different kinds of coffee milk for hours. I feel like Luan farting just sounds like Luan being mad at something. Oh. Oh. mad at something. That was loud even for you asshole. She's scolding her on. Even for you. Well, guess what I heard through the grip. She really is setting herself up her song now.

She's like literally every sentence is set up to a song. Hey, Drendi, guess what I heard? Through the grapevine. I was talking to some California raisins that rehab. I don't like it though, we stay so skinny. They're a great band. I'm gonna open for them. I'm gonna invite them to count us and friends.

They're gentlemen to count. California raisins. She, and the camera. California Risons. She would have the raisins. I mean, she's got a lot of crazy friends come to that show. I'm going to imagine those raisins coming out, just dancing around with all of cereal. Yeah. I do want to say before we get into that.

So Dorenda, she's telling Luanne about her plan to invite everyone to this spa weekend thing, the place is called Mayflower. The Mayflower. She's not the Mayflower and the man goes, I've never been, but I grew up in Connecticut. And your people came over on the Mayflower and killed my people, so that was fun.

Because my bare little hands like Native American. We got the Mayflower. My bare little hand was like, oh, Native American. Remember? It's like I had a whole row of teeth behind my front teeth that faced the back. It's like classically, I love it. I'm going to drink it like,

go to the maple flower. Hasn't she been through enough? Jesus. I went to Plymouth Rock and it was just too much. It was where we got married on that May flowers. So it's through the grapevine. The raisins told me. Ramona was texting Tom trying to go to a party on New Year's Eve. I mean, it's like, Luan, you dated a guy with like a dinner cruise.

You know what I mean? That boat that Tom has is just like a pack of sluts. Okay, it goes around Florida. It's like aging sluts. It's like a circle line in New York City. It's just like a little thing. It's a circle line. It's probably the boat that Casey worked on

from below deck med. Yeah. Wow, that was. Do you know, do you know how to make any cool, do you know how to barista? Jack and Cubs. It would actually really make sense if she worked on Tom's yacht Really what Jackson Coke now there's a resume. Yeah, oh

One of our one of our listeners or one of the people here who came here tonight She was like I I could tell there's a sign. It's you I see you right there She was like I as you know, it's not you. I see you right there. She was like, I, as a you, no, it's not you. It's all right. It was you. It is you. Things are getting awkward. She was like I was driving over here,

and I was behind a car, and the license plate she took a picture of it. The license plate said, Jack's mom. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, Lohan's like, what is wrong with her? Here I am in rehab. I mean, it's mind-blowing that she would even consider that. Callers off my friend. And her in the goes, yes, Ramonal, Ramonal, go, man. She's a real slap, kid, babe.

Can you imagine, Ramona? She looks at Can you imagine? Ramona? How low is that? Ramona, hello is that? Hello, what is that about? Oh, excuse me. She's not much of a hero, hero, tell you that. I think Dorenda is just like on a group, a Greek food rant over there.

Glad to be back. Yes, I just call her real shab kabab. Which I feel like on social media, like anytime I'm guaranteed it's something crazy, social media explodes. I'm like, where is the Shabkabab moment? Because this is like, needs to be a moment, Shabkabab. It was. They didn't make you wait for it at least. Oh yeah, maybe that's what it was.

Yeah, that's the worst. Okay, so next up, Sony and Beth, so they're all going to the main flower. So Sony and Beth, so of course, Beth needs in the car ride already. Yes, that's me. What am I doing? It's here, it's like I'm sitting here

and I'm like, what's the car I'm in a car? I've got a hat on. This is crazy. Well, I'm like, I'm like, I'm sitting here and I have a hat on. I'm like, what's your car? I'm like, what's your car? I'm like, what's your car?

I'm like, what's your car? I'm like, what's your car? I'm like, what's your car? I'm like, what's your car? I'm like, what's your car? I'm like, what's your car? I'm like, what's your car? I'm me. I don't want my fucking ass. Like what's going on? Going to the back of the car. What's going on? What's going on?

What's happening? What's happening? How about you put your back in the front seat? How about that? You can just come back. Yeah, check. You want to sit in the front going? You can sit in the front.

I'll sit in the back. I'm OK. You have a lunch up there. OK, but you're lunching the side of the bag over there. OK, don't do it. You don't have to do it. This is Sonia walking with her new Louis Vuitton that Tensley bought her.

But you know she like bitten into you. You know she went to the jeweler. I was like, can you check out this diamond? Whatever to make sure that is real. And this is the confidence that back gave her. This is her. She's basically turning into Marlottamus. I'm pulling a fantasia walking around here, Ben. No, that was great.

That was a great cross. It's the strongest thing. Sonia is turning. Like give it up for Ronnie. In this heat, in this heat. It's a lot of indesity. I know now I'll sweat by I'll be like Oh

Get out of trouble now So yeah, so she gets in the car. She's like super happy with her purse. I know the husband's. I'm sorry Bob How long is this? It's me But I see what do you think you are? Well, you think it's like frost it's me. That's like, what do you think you are? Well, you think it's like Frosty and Stone Man? Get in here. So then in the other car, in the other car,

it's Carol Tinsley and Ramona of all people. And then I think that editors are trying to show us the difference, right? Because that's, you want to go ahead, take the front. And then Carol's like, I'll take the front. That think that's a huge rift in the housewives' world, you know? I think of girls' carol takes the front bitch! You want a shotgun? So basically we're cross-cutting between the cars,

and in the Ramona Tinsley carol mobile, they're talking about, like, you know, they're excited to see Luan, especially Carol. She, like, can't wait to find out what happened and everything. And Tim, he's like, you're really gonna ask her what happened? Oh, it's just, um... Which one would ask me something? She's like, oh.

She's like, okay. She's like, okay, Mary last week in the store with my mom. So, it was the frozen! Fine, fine. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Hey! What? What?

What? What's the point? So, um, so, Ramona, so then Ramona weighs in, she's like, well, I know. It's, I would freak out if I had to appear before the judge with handcuffs on. I'd be mortified. Mortified. Mortified.

Whoa. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, I'd be horrified. What if I, what if I, I'm going to think Carol's like, oh yeah, they do it in that dress. This is not the real crime. And it's him, so he's like, they start cracking out. Meanwhile, Carol is wearing a dinosaur sweater. LAUGHTER Look off, Carol.

OK. CHEERING Youth called. It said it's been on the road for like 40 years, okay? Oh, she's powered. She's 42, like who am I? But still. It's okay. We took a Hippocratic oath, which means that we are allowed to be Hippocrates.

Sorry. So this is Ramona. Ramona is just basically on MTV, not Cribs, because that's a password. What's the one where they go to dance? Where Camille was like, oh, that's Club MTV. Club MTV. Ramona's just doing like her own Club MTV, this whole episode. She's like, whoa.

I went to what I thought was a coffee house, but it turned out it was called Eric nieces the groin It's not about coffee grinding So we're just gonna make all sorts of 90s references How would the doctor my right So then in the other car well, there's another car which is Dorenda and Lewand because Dorenda is like, You know how Dorenda pretends like she's such a nice person and like we all fall for it, right? Everyone goes, Dorenda, oh my god!

If you could have dinner with one housewife in the world, who would it be? Dorenda, like all of us, that bitch will rip each and every one of us. Yes. Danielle, okay. Yeah. What I liked was that she was wearing when there was old-fashioned spy hats. Like, it was this tall and there was clearly like a camera, like an old-fashioned VHS camera that's like, that's big.

It was this big. It's like, I don't mind me, I just have a six-foot tall. Like, hat. If you broke the hat and two, there would be a smaller hat inside it. And then I could have another smaller hat inside. I think a little babushka hat. That's what you call this, right?

Little babushka. Bushy. Now, I swear to God, this scene has to go down in Real Housewives' lore. Because this is the scene where Luan finally tells us, what happened the night she got arrested in Bombayish. And this was... Or the first time.

And this was... This is V1. Yeah. This was so beyond amazing. Like her explanation was like just instantly iconic. I don't even know. I don't even know if we can even do it. Wow.

Wow. Well. Yeah, I was. It's a story that begins with a... She was working in a bridal shop, flushing queens. Her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes. What was she to do? What was she to say out on her fanny?

Went over the bridge to flushing to the Sheffield store. She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more. She's got flair. She's got style. She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more. She's got flair. She's got styles. She was there. That's how she became the man. I mean, it was that bad this story. I was like, do you have any grass on reality? It's like it was friend-resher starring in this story. Was it a cartoon? Grand Rassure starring in this story. Was it a cartoon? Was it a story a cartoon? Yeah.

Yeah. So basically, I thought I'll go see Julie. The story began where we all knew it began. There was a cat. I went to go visit Julie on Jupiter. You know, Julie on Jupiter. You know she had to go to the NASA Space Program. And so advanced, I was like, take me to Jupiter.

I'll hold you. Why would you stay in a hotel when there's a Julian Jupiter? Julie. Julie didn't tell me that she had a cat. And I love cats. I love cats. One of my favorite pieces of theater is cat on a hot tin roof. But I didn't expect it to be caught cat in a hot tin the way in the room. But I didn't expect it to be caught I'm patting the hot tin the wands room Ha Did it? No

Anyway Well it turns out Cats do this Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow

And I was like, be quiet Bethany And someone was like, no it's a real cat I was like, oh I just sat there with me. Oh, no, no, no. Me, oh, me, oh. Oh, me, oh. So I stuck my finger inside tongues about.

Now I was right. I was right. I was right. Wait. I was like, OK, so she had a cat. I said, you know what? It's my vacation. I'm going to the colony.

By the way, nothing in this makes sense. She went to Jupiter. There was a cat, and now she's going to the colony By the way, nothing in this makes sense she went to Jupiter. There was a cat and now she's going to a colony And in her mind is probably like on that TV show the colony Yeah, it's probably some horror like how does a Nassai fulfill mom? He's got killed. I don't know no one understands it yet They have to finish the entire series and her just vacation. Well, you know, there's a jasmine or there so I Had to go to the colony So you know, I had to go in there and sing a little pie lock. I should have gone to the breakers. Well, I know. I wasn't thinking clearly, do I?

That's a pie lock. It was so hard. One minute, I'm up on the piano singing pie lock. You mean sky lock? No, a pie lock. It's about a sad pie. It's a sad women enjoy pie. A pie lock. It's a sad women enjoy pie.

A pie lock. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie.

It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about women enjoy pie. It's a song about women enjoy pie.

It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about women enjoy pie. It's a song about pie. It's a song about pie. Anyway, so there I am singing about Mississippi mud Before you know what this is man. There's polo player not some young polo player like everybody says. Oh look at this the cat arrived Look at the cat dragged in oh my god you really Figure out how to sell my shirt, bitch. Yeah. Yes. Beautiful. Thank you. Oh my God. Yes.

Yeah, everyone should buy our merch that way. We don't have to like drag it around up to San Francisco and stuff like that. It's heavy. Anyway, cats. No, yes. That one for a very important monologue. Yeah. I laughed at Crod.

I heard cats all night. Oh, anyways. So there was this pillow player there. Who was off age? I mean, you know newspapers, you're like, who are you, you're just dating? So, generally papers, they say, 20 years old, he wasn't 20 years old.

He was a, he was my age. Yeah. It wasn't like Adam Radsaville. Oh, she's not here. I mean, would you be better? I'm not a Peta fool. I mean, she's not like. How do you spell it?

I don't know. It's like a mix between Petya Light and like filing things like you file. So right now, where we are? We're in the Sloan history. You guys forgot. She calls Carol a pedophile, and she's a Native American.

Get with it! And so far in her story, there's been a cat. She went to Jupiter. She was a colony, a jassing, and a polo player, and we haven't even really started the story. Okay. Yeah. We're gonna be here all night, Yaggers.

Oh, not long. Oh, yeah. So then she starts to go, she was like, well, it's not like everybody said. He wasn't 20, I mean, he did play polo, but I did not kick a cop. No, I did slam the door on his face. I tell you, it's a door by accident. Oh, I slam the door on his face.

He was like, let me see your ID and I slam the door. You know, it's just happened. I was scared. You know, listen, I was just trying to avoid being arrested, that's it. I'm like the amount of wipe privilege happening right here is three, three. Right? I just didn't want to be arrested, that's also, which is slam the door on his face. I'm scared, I'm scared.

Listen, people are always saying check your privilege, right? This bitch literally wrote it like a check, she's like, Greenwich. All right, here's my white privilege check, who do I give this to? No, I don't. You have to write a check to Priv. She's like, I was scared. I was.

Priv is on the ledge. I was trying to hide in the bathroom like a child. I went in there. Guess what? There was a cat in the goddamn bathroom also. I was like, what's going on at this place? How many sports are we playing in this Renaissance? What was it the colony? The colony.

The guy from Lost is in there. I mean, I really hit a low. I mean, I was in the lowest hotel, really. But... I seriously, every time I look down at this fucking gigantic iPad that I got... And yes, I did get it because I saw Stasi with it. I've even got the pain Look I just see this I'm like By the way, can we all like just breathe a big sigh of relief that Kristen has not been fired from

Real stories Even I was scared I whipped out this feel magnolia's video, okay? Yeah, I mean you know I was saving that for like when Ben died I'm at that sitting on my desktop for years. I Am so honored that you would play a snarky still magnolia's video. Well, what do you think I'm gonna do? I don't know. Oh, Ben. Let me tell you about Ben It's not why people are coming to this funeral Ben. Oh, okay, let me tell you about Ben. Guys, it's not why people are coming to this funeral, Ben. Oh, okay. Come for jokes.

So then, Dorenda says it's holding by the cops. Yeah, they come, you get, I just crying, apologize, and just show you. He said, here's a salad shake, I found my foot, I didn't mean to rob this door. Dorenda does ask it questions. She's like, he says to dole his face, what is his door open?

She's like, well, apparently they were turning down the room. I don't know who the room is probably trying to date a polo player. Where's it couldn't get, you know, it's that kind of room. Well, before you know it, you know, the room is open, so I just go in there and nobody told me. Nothing made sense in this story. Okay, so, baby silly issue, they were down there, she was with the polo singer, Obviously, they were down there. She was with the polo singer. Listen to her. All those, she would be with the polo singer. Huss!

I am riding on a horse! Nautica. She was. That's the other kind of polo. So anyway, so she, Luanne and the polo player, were listening to the jazz singer, and she was feeling rebunked, which meant that she was holding. Rambex, yes, she was wasted.

She's like, second. Second, I threw up on my own ankle. So, like, you got, you need subtitles under there. Yeah. But Dorenda got this, she's like, oh, Rambunk'd you. So apparently, apparently the polo player said to her, she goes, so the polo player says to me, let's go put your rags in the room or whatever.

Rags in the room? Bags. Oh, bags. Well, he said, you know, look at you, Rambunk. Just like Luana's sitting there in the lounge with her bags. OK, so this is the only reason I'm so important. I'll change a lot of things. That's what I'm saying. Her evidence.

Listen, bitch, I watch every law and order, OK? Even a rape one. I'll even watch a rape one. I don't even care what Mariska does to her face. I'm in forever, okay. Law and order, count as victims unit. That's I take notes. Look, I have a pen.

I was like, hmm, I was like, wait, let me charge this. Okay, I'm taking this. Sick man, I thought, I'm just a woman, I had my bags. I thought, well, just go to the lounge. And she is the one who specified that she took her bags and she's a lie. Yeah, the lady is a lie. But she said, she said, I she took her bags and she's alive. Yeah, lady is alive. But because she said, she said, I thought they were talking about rags.

I thought it was like some old time expression, you know, like, uh, let's get those rags up to the room, you know what I'm saying, lady? And it's only her telly stays at her from water rabbit. She's like, so turns out before he was a polar player, he was a Newsy. So I just love a Newsy. So well informed. So they go up to the room to put her bag there. So I go up to the fourth floor and then it goes,

with Louis, you stay here, man. Which girl, this is why when you're confessing, you confess to a fellow drunk. Yes. You don't tell this shit to your sister, you know what I mean? You find the other fucked up person in the room, you're like, ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a What do you call that when you prep your witness? Is it called like discovery or something like that? Durant is probably just like trying to get her story straight, you know, for when it comes out trash.

So you find the first story you see, well, it's not all the fours, really. I mean, music has no place, it's everywhere. Yeah, she's got the questions. What's lower you on? Why was the door open? You know, she's got all the questions. Well, it was the perfect storm.

I love your schooling. So she, he was in perfect storm right, the crash, which we'll get to, and hopefully, the next live show. Oh my god, I cannot wait until these ladies are on about the crash. Oh my god. Like, literally.

Oh my god. I left, like, religion a long time ago. And since we've been covering these shows, I found myself praying. I'm like, a long time ago, and since we've been covering these shows, I found myself praying. I'm like, blah, blah. Please, that's a week that these bitches get on the Mayflower and crash into some pirates. Please, please, I just be doing a live show.

Lord, please. Well, actually, when we went to see Countess and friends, Lewand told the audience that Ramona was freaking out. I was like, I don't know how to swim. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Jack pulled on Jack Jack don't let go. I'll never leave you Jack. They're like we're still the doc Whoa, it's crazy. That's right. My little one time. I was a little girl. I got this hope and They said I was a little girl, I got on this boat. And they said, this boat is unsinkable.

And I got on the boat at the Arun Steerage's Mario. And I was like, Mario, pink me. And it was like, okay. But instead, I wound up putting oil on his chest. It was so weird. And then next thing you know, he's like, Oyspurg straight ahead. And I was like, no, thank you.

I'll take Romando. He's like, no,burg straight ahead. And I was like, no, thank you, I'll take Romando. He's like, no, Oysburg. And Jody partsmith said, little girl, we don't even know. Little girl, you don't even know how to swim. We do that as well with the Christmas. It's there. That day, Kathy Bates came by

and this little boat and drowned Geraldine partsmith to death. And so I threw a glass at Kathy Bates' face. And she cried and cried and cried. I think Kathy Bates has had a cluster on her face in every fucking thing she's ever done. She never makes it out just okay. Even though I didn't like, you know, like she lived, as she saw how to ride that little tiny boat by.

Well, I always love her in her famous romantic comedy, Misery. It's my favorite movie. Which is what Mario was saying, because he couldn't handle being with a successful woman. I mean, business woman, OK? And to this day, I've never been able to write a novel in the mountains.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I just liked it. I just liked it, it's her above. And the man is still telling a story back in the car. She's like, well, I went up to the fore floor, I was looking for a key and my back fell. Now, we need to go through the original evidence to figure out why she's lying. But it's like, well, I was looking for a key, but then the back fell. And then the guy was going through the back,

but I walked into the door because I was so sad for the room and it just got in turn down. She is fully in like a phrasher episode. Like she bends down to get it and like some bird flies across. Like all the time. Oh, it's me, Luana. Oh, those are my screen always. Y'all, did you freeze them?

You're freezing? Yeah. Yeah, so Luana went to the wrong floor. She could. They dropped the bag. And when she was picking up the bag. No, her boyfriend, the polo player, was picking. I don't know why this is important.

But I'm putting it into evidence, because I feel like later it's gonna be important. You know what age you guys, okay? So, the door happened to be open. You know, you used to use the door. They heard the clatter of the bag falling and they were like, oh, and so, they're like, I go east, so they like, the door opens

and she's like, well, I just went in. Well, you know, because the maids were turning down, I don't know. I'm like, what's that like, 11 o'clock? Don't you get arrested like two in the morning? And also I think she was fucking in that room because they say she was during this like I mean she says it in a dredd away like But she man like bitch were you fucking back on that room and the way I was like no, no, we weren't thought we weren't moved Who is my age?

We were kissing helicopter, helicopter. helicopter, helicopter. We were just kissing, we were kissing in the room. Hey, who does that in front of the maid? I mean, I know we're not so best to say maid anymore. I didn't learn the like good word to use, but who makes that in front of the maid? You know that bitch is gonna use it against you.

Romana? I won't remember you.ana? I remember you. I remember you. But yeah, so she starts making out. And then she's like, and then before you know it, I'm the unsequible Molly Brown. Perhaps someone's there. People are boiling.

Please, those security guards. Two seconds later, security's there. I'm like, wait a second. Something happened between you kissing and security's showing up. Security doesn't just show up when they hear someone inappropriately taking someone else's chocolate from their turn down pillows. Yes. And what did she say here? You guys see evidence? Oh, wait, hold on. She said,

right. She said, and the polo player says, I better go get Jude. No, no, no, no. She's, no. The polo player, here's what happens. Security, and when I was like, well, it's my room. I've come and dear to it. I hear I am clearly on the third floor. And then the power, so then she's like, well, the power player left, because he needs to go find jewels, because no one could talk and he sent to me. So he knew that jewels could talk, some sent it to me.

And I'm like, that means you were belligerent. With the cat. Yes, and also, it's like the Bolo player's like riding a horse to Jules' house with the cats. The Bolo player's like, I gotta get out of here because I don't want my wife to find out what's going on. Do Bolo players get married? Is that a thing?

Don't you remember? The real house was a cheshire. They're all were. No, they divorced. They were. Those were soccer players. That little blonde lady here. She's like, I not a strip on my dancer. I'm like oh Oh, yeah, he dumped her oh

Girl, thank you Chesher I'm sorry. Did you ever watch your house as a Chesher? Girl we we covered one season it's on like season seven. Yeah, like members have Chesher We're all babies back then in high school remember that It's still long. It's still long, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm a squad car. And not the good kind. OK, notice that she said she's in the back of the car. And then Bethany was like, you take the front. And the car was like, I'll take the front. I mean, the editor is, you guys.

They're on it. You can't understand how many little things have been wrapped up tonight. We're blessed. We're blessed people. I don't know if I should have come on this trip to the Mayflower, being in the back seat of the SUVs, bringing back so many memories of that time I was in the backseat of the Tessu Vs, bringing back so many memories of

that time I was in the backseat of the police cruiser. So she goes, well I mean, I was awful, I didn't sleep the whole night because it was freezing cold, I had a sundress on, and no shoes. We're gonna go blank it? Hey, can you go blank it? They don't even give you a blanket in jail. Oh, blank it? I'm like, no shit, you're girl. I can't see the golden girls remember the episode where they try to see burnt Reynolds No blanket for Dorothy And by the way, thank you Durinda for maintaining your tribute to be author with your new hair. Thank you

No No blanket, no water, no nothing. You know what they did? They threw a baloney sandwich at me, Trudeau. What do you believe in? A baloney sandwich. A baloney sandwich. God, you know the last time I had a baloney sandwich

40 years ago. Unless we're counting every word that Ramona says. I love the Belotes, just that meat that we're like, fuck you kid, you don't have a job. You know what, I have like very fun terrible in America. Terrible in America. I'm working below these sandwiches.

Yeah, memory is, but not from yesterday from when you were a kid, because what adult does that? It's like they pack a bunch of dead shit, like your mom's like, that's not even care, okay? Yeah. It has a little bit of that. You can barely talk, what's talk what's it gonna come back the best part about Luang first of all Let's applaud these cops for having the greatest sense of humor to throw a baloney sandwich

I count just Luang that is like they knew what they're doing like check this out and on top of that she's like I bid into it because she's so like I'm so gonna eat it I Been into it and there was a mustard packet. She's like, oh, mustard packet. It was like one of those fish. You know what she's thinking of, right? Think of that in your head. She's thinking of cartoons where the cat takes the fish and puts it in his mouth and pulls it out and it's a fit.

She's still obsessed with that motherfucking cat. I mean, the way I was traumatized at Laurie's house, something happened with that cat. Well, it came back the very next day. The mustard packet, almost like a dead fish. It was just so pathetic. A little rectangular dead fish. Full of deliciousness. And Dorenda's like, she's like,

wow, you know, you're lucky because some people don't have the resources and they're going to know the system, again, the system and they're in the system. And then they meet other people. They just, they meet other stuff people. And like, hey, start person. Like, hey, start before you know it,

the country club has stopped people. And it's like, hey, if you're wild alone hey, stop before you know it's a country club and stop people. Yeah, it's like, hey, if you're wild alone, you see how much makeup blooms here, which I don't really have a desk. And the man. Cause who it's belonging. And the man's like, well, I felt what it's like to be stuck in that system.

When they put the shackles on my ankles, to take me to the courtroom that morning, I mean, they put shackles on my ankles. Do you know what it's like to paint without even knowing that you're pooping, ma'am? You have not been in this system. Do you know what it is like to make a deadly weapon out of a comb?

You do not, ma'am. Shackles, shackles, You do not, Nam. Shackles. Shackles. Three, two, one. Back in the chain, dang. Back in the shackles again. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da. I love that song.

God bless, because he harmed. This story, oh my God. OK, you know the difference between oranges and black and then that Australian one where they're like, they hug a lot, but they're still painful somehow. Lou Anzac, it's way worse. I mean, baloney. I've never seen anybody baloney in those shows.

You're lucky if you get the baloney. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. time for a crap-and-scommercial." Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

not-so-expert-expert. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to,

I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So the Mayflower Inn. Yes. We're only on like scene three of the show. I know. So the Mayflower Inn. Yes. That's our live. We're only on like, scene three of the show. I know.

We're live. We're live. We're live. We're live. We're live. We're live. We're live. We're live.

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So now they're at the main flower. I was only the first confession. Yeah. So the land and durenda show up at this place where they're all can be staying in the cottage. And Dorenda. The bus got out. Hey, what is this?

The spa house? What is this, the CBS? Just tell me what it is, so I know which channel going. They're like, it's your house, ma'am. All right. Dorenda's like, hey, wow. I did good. And they cut to this waiter who's just standing there.

He's like, I can't wait to throw a fucking balloon. He's saying, I watch that, these bitches. It basically was Lewand's scottiedog in human form. He was like, please set me outside. Yeah. Please. So, uh, Dorenda, you think you're gonna eat? And it's a, it's a basket of like all this champagne

and wine. And the one's like, oh well, listen, I mean, people think that I'm gonna stare at this stuff and get terrified, like I can't be around. Bitch, you've got 20 bottles in your house, nobody thinks that. I guess I'll have a periae. You know, I do know Julie periae,

of the periae family, anyway. So they're having those drinks, and then, during the so supportive, you know what my eyes you right? I mean Jesus. I just gonna I'm just gonna pull it right here right in front you right? No, Kati I don't expect them not to drink but at least wait to have other people to drink with so you're not the only dick You know who does that? I mean I've done that we so So the way I can a flaster, have to be supportive for myself, for my team.

Yeah. So, Luanne picks out a room, because she gets to have the nicest room, because she's back from rehab, et cetera, from Rikakoon. And we learned that someone's gonna, there's only six rooms for seven people, so someone's gonna have to share a suite, which is sort of a plot point, setting something up.

And Luanne's like, I just wanted to be chill, and zen, and not think about the outside world well my well guess what you're spending the weekend with Ramona so good luck with that. Luan has the best approach to a variety of ever seen and she doesn't even pretend that she's like I'm never gonna drink like she doesn't do that she's like well you know what they say one day at a time I'm not gonna drink right now like she thinks she thinks one day at a time. I'm not gonna drink right now like she thinks She thinks one day at a time means you won't drink Monday, but you'll drink Tuesday

But then you won't drink again. Maybe before noon. Yeah on Wednesday I mean, I was told I'd be at South to watch seasons one and two of one day at a time, but then I'm cured so I mean, he's not gonna do that with the glass of wine. This is it It is so good because she's never like I'm sober. She's like I'm sober You mean he's not gonna do that with a glass of wine? This is it. It is so good, because he's never like, I'm sober. She's like, I'm sober. The to be. Which makes me happy, because I want her to drink still. So, um, you don't have to be in alcoholic,

the slammer door in the cob stace. So meanwhile, a little storm is brewing in the Bethany. It was an accident. I didn't mean to slam it in. So meanwhile a little storm is brewing in the Bethany. It was an accident. I didn't mean to slam it in his face. I meant to say, excuse me, let me check. Just try to hear your tone. Listen, there was a fly in the door and I just swatted it, swatted it, and it closed, swatted it. It's Bethany voice. So anyway, speaking of Bethany,

so in Bethany's car was sewn, yeah, things are brewing are brewing because Bethany's like I don't know why Carol didn't I mean I'm usually on the corner Three hours, huh? Bethany this all except You know what I think it's Carol it's Carol's call I mean it's Carol All right, you know what? I think it's Carol. It's Carol's call. I mean, it's Carol. It's Carol.

I literally didn't know anything was wrong with Carol. Like, I literally didn't know. Like, we're friends and then we're not friends. And then we just got this thing and then we try and make up and then just got this other thing. I don't know. We got a dinosaur shirt. Like, what am I supposed to do with that?

Like, we get it. Classic Clark 2. OK, it's out. It's literally a dinosaur. Like, the power is open. The dinosaur's reading the head. It's like, like, a boss wrap. There's a blue one called blue.

What they do for the dinosaur? What's that? What's that? I'm fucking by theors. There's a blue one called Blue. What they do for the dinosaur was the one fucking dinosaurs. What's the dinosaur's doing? How do you get a clue? You're supposed to be a thing right away. Yeah, literally. That's a little bit classic. Classic.

How do you put the ass in Jurassic, huh? Yeah. She put the ass in Jurassic. It's so nice. What's happening? So, anyway, so Bethany believes that D' is the reason why Carole doesn't like her anymore. And so she's getting herself into frenzy. No, no, on the plastic flowers and the like, here's, look at me. I'm like, what am I watching?

Where am I? Callin'e. Oh, the guy from Lost. All right, I'm in. Hello, player. OK, I'm in. So Sonia is doing that sober thing. It's got to be hard to be sober on this show,

because they know everybody's sober on this show, ever. So Sonia's still staying sober on camera. On camera? Yes. Sonia's still like, I'm sober. Ha! So she's staying sober and she's like, you know, just seems like there's something in the air.

Something in the air. Yeah, you know what's in the air, Carol? Yeah, that's what's in the air. That's what it's like. Yeah, settle down on the call. It's like, yeah. That sounds like Phil Collins. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah, settle down on the comments. Okay, yeah. That sounds like Phil Collins. Oh, Carol is a Phil Collins version of a friend.

I think you're taking a man. I'm in here tonight. You don't have technical reasons to hate Phil Collins, but you just hate him. No, the exact opposite. I literally just downloaded an entire Phil Combs album last week. That's not a joke. And I said, you hate Phil Collins. I meant the general public.

I didn't mean like, you literally know it. I support you. I support you. So mad. I feel so bad. What is this? Oh, it's awful. You think you do that, huh?

You think you can make up? No. You know what this land of confusion is. OK, I can't think you can do that huh? You think you can make up like, no. No, you know what this is, land the confusion. Okay, I can't. Genesis, technically that's genesis. Okay, so Bethany and Sonia arrive at the house. And Bethany is like, hi, hi, how are you? Hi, hi, hi.

And so upstairs, and he's like, I know that Bethany, how are you anyway? We're just good to see it's not just us who notice it. Because when we're trying to take the temperature of Durinda, right? It's like, is this nice Durinda, or are you gonna rip out somebody's tongue with your toes? Like, you don't know who it's gonna be, you know? So Luana's like,

Hi, here voices, which everybody knows. All you hear for like five miles away, it's like, Ma-a-mah, ma-a-mah, ma-a-mah, ma-a-mah, ma-a-mah, ma-a-mah, ma-a-mah, and it's like, it's bad. Oh, there's damn cats back. Hey, nobody confused who's coming in the door. So she's like, oh, here's horses. And there's a catch belly. Me and the wave of the leaves, using the gills. It's like, OK, OK, we're safe. She's liking Bethany right now. So Sonia sees Durinda's big old hat.

And she's like, oh, you look like a bee feeder. And she's like, oh, I'm going to get a baby. I'm going to get a baby. I'm going to get a baby. like he's liking Bethany right now. So, Sonia sees Durinda's big ol' hatch. He's like, oh, you look like a beef feeder. Beef feeder. I should say that, a beef feeder. Yeah, a beef feeder. Who's that?

It's a garden in London. You know those people know, like, actually the London guards are not, those are actually not the beef feeders. Those are just, I think, go for it. It's a gin, right? Beef feeder. Yeah, but it's named after them.

It's like, so, you're the tower of London. The befeeder's in the Tav London. I thought I'd be eating my wife. I thought befeeder at the gin, maybe she means death eater. So I kept her aligning it, but it was like quality in internet. Has anybody ever masturbated at the quality in? I was like, are you kidding me? I'm just kidding. That's disgusting. That's disgusting.

That's disgusting. Seriously, I was like, okay, a plumber comes over. Then what? I'm just waiting. Do they ever fix the plumber? What's he going to do with a shirt now that it's gone? Bob, I'm so sorry. I mean, are they gonna finish those pizzas?

They never do. They never do. Fucking quality in. You know what, I hate like $9,000 next time. Let me masturbate. Like is that what we're doing now? You know what I hate and porn? You know what I hate when they set it up?

Like, oh, here's your pizza and everything. And it's like, oh, here comes the money, whatever. And then they just cut to, like, blow jobs. Like, how did this happen? We need to see how it got from point A to point B. All right? Did you get tipped? Like, I don't even know how turned on I should be.

Like, did you tip the pizza man? Yeah. You know what I mean? Stop acting like you fucking the pizza man is like a favor that you're doing for him. Yeah. You know what I mean was there a bad guy I don't fucking to beat a man is like a favor that he you're doing for him Yeah, I mean yeah, so wrong. I'm so sorry you guys So then Bethany shows up and she's like hey, I brought detox back to everyone I bought back to everyone and they cut to like all the people who work at the spa holding his bags like this

Cut to Ketakali Benz Benson on at home and E.R. I can't. That's not just a gold. Calling Jill Zaren. She gave us gift bags. Gift bags. Well, you know that's Bethany. That's Bethany as well.

She does gift bags. She's trying to kill me. I mean the gift bags. Give a gift bags. Bethany still bringing they get bags. She's trying to kill me. I mean, they get bags. They get the gift bags. That's me still bringing fucking gift bags. So, were they skinny girl gift bags? Did you guys notice?

I don't think they were. I think they were generic. No. Here's what I read on Facebook. You moaning bitches, tell me. I don't mean to call you bitch like a girl bitch. I mean, just like audience bitch. Like, bitch as... So, with an E. Bitch is telling me if I don't mean to call you bitch like a girl bitch. I mean just like audience bitch like

So the need I read on the face back today that they weren't skinny girl products They were products that she's invested in on Shark Tank. Is that true? Listen She's not gonna just go to the store and buy you something. It's a Bethany You know it's like me at Christmas. I'm like, here's your pint glass from Watch What Crapins. Yeah. My mom's like, go fuck yourself. How about that?

Yeah. I wouldn't mind if I could bring in the quality of that. I'm so sorry, but it wasn't really an essential comment about Barbara Corcoran. So anyway, Luanne's talking about treatment and everything. And it's like, it was really less than an humility. And Beth thinks like, you know what? With Luanne, you know, she was like a, she was a Countess.

But then I realized she never really was a Countess. You know, the emperor had no clothes, or at least she didn't have a skinny girl gene, you know? And then, you know, I think she realized she just never was a Countess. That she's a piece of shit like the rest of us, you know? And we see this amazing montage of early, early Countess being totally haughty, which is actually one of my favorite iterations of Luan. And there's that great scene which I've forgotten about where she takes all of Victoria's friends to like,

and she's like teaching the manners, and then you just see her she goes, I was like, oh my God, her first song. It's gonna lose on the table. It's gonna lose on the table. Girl, you know she's gonna get your manners. I'm gonna every little thing. It's that asshole who's, it's like when you, I was raised like in a super religious christiany upbringing. Girl, everybody, my parents were friends with.

Cheated ran away, thrown in jail. It's like everybody, it's like the ending you want. When people are like, you're going to hell. And then they're like, fuck in the neighbor. Like, yes, that's the way. That's why the way I'm so fat. Well, I started watching the show. I was like, fuck my mother's neighbor.

And now she's the way. She's like, yeah, I'm in the system now, girl. I've got a 19-year-old. That's right, girls. I just released my a mixtape. All right. Yeah, anyway. So, so now important traditional stuff, you know, they are invocations, so you have to have some sort of drama regarding the rooms. But I think it's like, I want to pick my room. I like'm in my room. It's like, no, you gotta be everyone. Just like, I wanna say to you, I'm gonna lobby for an hour.

I'm like, it's not a lobby. It's like a beautiful living room area. Beth, it was a lobby. I mean, that's a lobby. If you've got a terrified waiter standing there, like, good or bad. I've been in a lot of lobby, so you get to rest for that.

I'm like, I'm the main flower lobby. I'm like, how dare she? I know, I just can't be a lobby. They're like, just be a lobby. I'm like, how dare she. I just feel like this car is on the table on their way up. She's like taking the house. So Bethany's sitting there, she's like, wait, wait, why am I being helpers here? Like, why am I being helpers?

I'm like, really, with the way I next to you. I mean, that is so weird, Bethany. I'm in the system. You're not on the house. You're not on the house. Yeah, I'm the master me. So, just like, you know, being friends with Bethany, is like, look at me, it in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house.

You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house.

You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house.

You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. You know, not in the house. Do I climb John Lackin Mountain just not moving around until I go boom So I catch a bus do I take a snowman? There's a little pressure system coming in So anyway Bethany Filey has a pro dish is like and by the way you don't know you know on the hotel You don't know the hotel. I'm going. I'm going. It's like okay, so she goes upstairs and Then Sonya just sort of like looks at the win and she's like She goes what?

I'm just staring into your soul Do I have a booger on my nose by the way I feel like I have a bat in the K. I know I literally Like you have one and I'm out them look for boogers because guess who doesn't tell me. I'm not trying to be like vindictive. What do you doubt? No boogers. That's a huge one. Huge. Now you really don't.

I feel like I have one right here and I really want to pick it. That's what I do, just in case. I did have a booger, by the way. I just just, I did have a booger. I'll just write that on my pants here. You have the best view there probably. Thank you.

Thank you. So yeah, Sony doesn't know what to say, because she's like, what does this sobriety mean? You know, she's like, is she kind of drunk? Is it cocaine? Like, she's trying to figure out what it is. Because Sony is on her own path, you know? So they're just staring at each other.

They're basically looking at each other's peoples. We all know. The pain marijuana opioids, what is it? What is it? What is it? Kind of weak. I think you were just trying to see if that thing in a reputation for a dream really happens. You know, we're like, you know, it doesn't. Did you read that's a big conspiracy in that? Well, I read because I looked up opioids to see what atoms on from below deck. That's why. And they said people after recveying with the dream were mad because the eyes went the wrong way. Like when they did the drugs they made the eyes go big which is cocaine but when your eyes go to pinwheels that means opioids. Girl who knew? Apparently marijuana your eyes just stay kind of droopy

in the same. Yeah So education they go you're welcome So now they're sitting in on the couch again and LeWan talked to Sonia about the palm beach again and you know talking about she went to the colony Which is of course where she and Tom went and all that stuff and she's like why would I do that to myself? Why I mean those doors close so easily there. I should have known it's such a dangerous place to accidentally close the door on a cob And so he was like oh, yeah, by the way I got an invitation to Tom's New Year's Eve party Yeah, she's like will I knew you'd bite Tony and Rona? Sonny's like oh he invited me. He didn't invite Ramona

She's like well, what did the invitation look like? She's like, oh, is that a sketch of the boat? And then he goes, off the mariner. Which I love, she's just like, I can't believe. I can't believe you put the boat on there. But also, I like that the boat's just called the mariner. That's the most generic name for a boat. That's very intricate.

Because I would think it would just be like boat. Yeah. Tom would just be like boat. Yeah. Tom would just say, Yes, yes, yes, yes. Do you ever hear Tom talk? All Tom says is like, pussy, boat. Boat?

He's like that kind of guy, you know. I feel like his boat would actually be just call it, just be like the letter H over and over again, so just say, shh. We don't talk about this. Okay, so we're still in the lobby. She's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, really? Did you just meet Ramona? Yeah. Like, it's Ramona. Ramona's singer. She was fucking your husband before you were stupid.

This is a woman who managed a charter of flight out of the Berkshires to go to a party in the Hampton House. Helicopter, do you remember fucking Amazon drone came down from the sky? She got into a cannon and fired us off across Sound I'm gonna show Mona. It's the greatest show on earth. I know So Ramona and Carol so they were talking so much about Ramona and then finally Ramona and Carol and Tinsley show up and Ramona of course is like whoa when we get in soy

Let's give her a few hugs and kisses when we get inside, let's give her a few hugs and kisses when we see her. Let's attack her with love. You know how when killers get caught and they give crocodile tears? Ramona just gives like Ramona. I mean, this is like, oh my God, look, Ramona strikes us, call it. She's like, oh my God, look at you, the wind. You look so amazing, so pretty, so tall, you look so young, you look so much,

you're like a hero to me and every other woman who's had a business and they're like, business winning. You know what I mean? Oh my God, she's so neat. Like Ramona, when Ramona is that nice, it's like Ramona Kyle, Ramonka Dile, Ramona's. What do you call it? Ramona Shragg, so let's just call him that.

I like when she does the buck teeth smile. You know what you're gonna do? Hi. So Ramona's approaching, ready to attack with love. Let's pretend she's Avery and just hunkering kisser and say you're my best friend. And so meanwhile Luann's inside just working so often to his he's like it's very uncool that she would call Tom trying to get invited to his party. Oh, cool. Guess I use my word there. uncool. And cool. How does it look? Sorry, Sorry, it's too simple. So, Lewand, all the girls start gathering around,

and Lewand's like, so Ramona, that was your holiday, you know. And Ramona's like, oh, for the first time ever, because I'm a strong woman who sports other women. I own a woman house. My woman house is like, guess what I need? To support other women. So I invited other women,

supportive women, Christmas Eve. For the first time ever, I had Christmas in this city. And I invited other strong women, and we sat and had strong food together. And every woman had three glasses in front of them. A short glass with ice cubes, a tall glass with two lines and some tequila, and a medium sized glass with a picture of A3 from when she was three.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Small things are A3, but it's so creepy. I also like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,

I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I for one holiday. So, again, New Year's, you're just, oh, what? I was in Palm Beach. No? I'm like, Palm Beach, that's where your brother lives, right? Yeah. No one else in this country was down there, right?

Just your brother. Just your brother. I was like, no, my brother lives there. I'm gonna support women. I can only support the women's brother. Don't you live in Jupiter. I love astronomy. Well, what about a American weekend? That happened too.

Well, I don't know where I was for that. So the girls all gather background, and then Tinsley. I live in the most insecure emotional one, is like the one giving advice. She's like, we're in a... I think it's just that you went back to the scene of the crime, and that's what got you. It's like, Tinsley, you just got out of the bushes.

And you would still be in them if you didn't get a rest. Don't give advice. It's like me, like, you know how to feel better, maybe lose some weight. What the fuck are you? So Ramona's buttering up Lou An. Ramona's buttering up Louan. Ramona's buttering up Louan. She's like, you should get the best room

because you're the princess. You're the princess today. All weekend, you get to be the princess. Princess, princess, princess. Louan's like, ugh. It's like, you're both poll shooting me and reminding me of the title I lost. Yes.

So then Bethany is, now this show I feel like this episode particularly is like a spotlight on addiction. Because Bethany is just like, I don't care whatever I see from the cats with the fucked white cows, the sleepest sunny, who cares, you don't have to ask me. Like she's just a miserable cow the whole time. Right. Now just watch the evolution as the drink start flowing. By the end everyone's like,

I love that money! Yeah. Who's the Anthony Bann? So, Lou Ann starts telling the story again. And Carol's like, where are you? Who's this thing? And she's like, what do you have? Ryan the story of something?

And Lou Ann's like, well, so there I was on the third, fifth, fourth fourth ninth floor And my friend says to me is that you're a blackberry and I said of course it's my blackberry I don't have a blackberry. Would you believe it girls? I Mean I know I was doing some pda, but that was one pda. I was not engaged with And so even better of a detective than to render Bethany, she goes, Oh, she didn't get into bed.

So, wish a luggage. Ha ha ha. Oh, I wonder what this fucking Bethany is like. Wait a minute, wish a luggage. What was it? It's an all-out. What'd you take it out? Was it in the elevator?

Yeah. Did you drop it on the floor? Where's it? It was a wearing hat. It was a wearing hat inside a wrap. It's branded? What's it branded? Huh? So she's like, oh, it's on the third floor.

It was in my room. We were on the fourth floor. But remember earlier, when she said that Polo Guy said, let's get those bags up to the room. Yeah, this whole thing is a mess and I love it. I love it. You know as much as we say, like, alcohol, whatever, as the show goes on.

These ladies are really being nice to Lou Ann at this point. Yeah. Because they can put drag on her across the goddamn floor at this point. Lou Ann has just been lying, lying, lying, lying. And they're like, OK, yeah, that makes sense. Did they charge you for both nights? Here you go, lay.

Ha! Good. And they wouldn't even validate my parking. So I parked my condos having floor. Ha! Of the garage, just a garage, just a hotel. I'm with the perfect store, my facility is. So Bethany's like, well, I have a story with that now, you know, I was nervous for you.

Like, rehab, like it's a hard reentry.. Like, rehab, like it's a hard reentry. I mean, New York, it's a hard reentry. I'm like, what, Bethany and Bethany's mind, she's like in space at all times, you know? Ha ha ha ha. She didn't even have a parachute. She could have burned a lot. Like, okay.

Bethany's always just dropping in a little solo pod. I'm in every event, you know? I'm okay, I'm okay, like I worked out. You know, it was a hard reentry, but here I am. Yeah. You know what? So we lost George Clooney, but guess what? I landed.

So Carol's like, oh my God, she seems more humble. Because of course, Carol's just fucking loving this, you know. Yeah. I know who's the better file now, bitch. So Carol's just fucking loving it. Like she's dressing better. Like suddenly, Carol's like, oh, I can be like middle aged again. Like she's dressed in like a beautiful dress. I was like, oh my God can be like middle age to get like she's dressed

in like a beautiful dress. I was like, oh my god, this is working out great for Carol, you know? And then Tim's is like, no, I don't like that. Yeah, they're up in their room right now. Finally, my mug shot was off the internet. Like you Google Tim's and it's like, me and Q baby, all dresses again, you know? And then Louang gets arrested and others tied by sides of me. Fuckin' Louang everywhere! Ah! Ah! Get me up and get me up.

How many times does this go? Google herself. How does she know? How does she dance? You know we got a Google alert. We came to Phoenix and it was like, blue, Google alert. I was like, what did they Alert. I was like, what is happening? They're going to be in Phoenix.

It's like, come on. This has got to be something better idea. No, we got to give a huge shout out because Garrett with the Arizona Republic gave us an amazing profile. Oh yeah, Garrett. I think Garrett's right. I think Garrett's here. But that was actually our first time being in like a big old American newspaper. I know that was totally, I think that was here. That was actually our first time being in like a big old American newspaper. I know that was totally thrilled. Suddenly I didn't need porn to have anymore.

Okay, so uh, Tensley's jealous and Carol's like, don't be competitive. It's not a good look. Neither are our dinosaurs sweaters, Carol. Okay, it doesn't stop you. So now, Luann is in her room with Durinda, who's all, and we take you back to the movie. And, every moment comes in, and she's like, oh my God, Luann, it's you.

Like, you just are 10 minutes ago. So she's like, oh, you know what's, so, wait, Luann, like, it's like you see someone like you and they take a stomp, they take a stumble, they take a fall. Who has a stumble? Okay, they take a stumble. A gentle stumble, a lady likes stumble. It's like I sat down on the grass.

You see somebody like you and it's like a deer giving birth to a fall, okay? That stumbles out. What I'm saying, and it's so great to be a one-in, have other women be so one-in, of all the women. Listen, bitch, I've been in the clinic. I know how to shank you. Get out of here.

Pretty much. Romona is just like guilty. She's like guilty. I'm so proud of you. Yeah. Life really is about our girlfriends. Yeah. It's about the friendship.

This is what sustains us. This is what nurtures us. Without my girlfriends, it makes my life less full. But with my girlfriends, my life, just like my vodka glass, is full. And the way I'm just staring, like, at this fucking bunch of... I'm gonna wait until everybody's here before I drag you bitch. Yeah, they actually cut to her and anything professional.

Louang just goes, disgusting. Disgusting. So now we go over to dinner, which is always my favorite thing, because I love to see what these bitches order. Durinda literally, Durinda can, can we talk about them getting out of the car? Sure. I love this one. I love that. love this one on the ground a bag of potato chips Oh like a wrapper

They were potato chips like sun chips or something like that maybe Fritos Does anyone know where they cattle chips those chips are very rougher on that just I'm warning you They are they heard I just I just like that when I just spat on my computer. I like just when they step out, just like bags of trash fall out with them. Anyway, ordering. Okay, so ordering. Durenda can eat the head off a baby, like punch an old lady and take a baseball bat to like a baby deer, a full.

Okay, those are full, right? So she could do that, I would still love her, because she's like, oh, the witch salad with extra blue cheese. That's my bitch, okay? I don't care what she ever does, that is my bitch. Can you please make sure that the dinner is served on yellow plates because they remind me of sunshine.

Thank you. So, and of course your amount is also, hey, get to the waiter. Could you unpack my shoes? And then when you're done, could you please take some pictures and brought 8,000 phones? Take pictures. I was like, why are they showing Ramona taking that waiter so big?

Move back a little bit. Move back. Move back. Move back. Move back. It's like the Ramona Liba Whits over there. Move back. Don't close the Ramona Libuets over there. Move back. Don't close the door.

Underface, I'm warning you now. Okay, then after all this move bash is like three to one cheese. Okay, done. It's like, the poor waiter, they're doing the iPhone focusing. It's on like 80 heads. It's on like 80 terrifying heads. That's the last thing Lou Anson before she went up in jail. All those like pillows they're like...

One of them was Phil Collins. They were just floating in front of me. So, Ramona takes a selfie, and I'm like, why are they showing this? I love this episode. Like, it's really put together well. So, I'm like, why are we focusing on a selfie? So, they start talking about sex or whatever, and I don't want me rolling my eyes, because it's just so damn. It's like, oh my god You're talking about me having sex Well cows like

Because cow's like I up if your nails are long that means you haven't been having sex I'm like you should talk to a lanus more upset about that Because she has a different opinion or Or really anybody I've met in Phoenix. You know I've got some nails up in here and I know you're getting lame. This is a town of fun, happy, laid people. I have to say, Carol don't know what she's talking about. She's wearing Jurassic Park sweaters around, you know? So they all start talking about, they're trying to make sense of what she said and

to talk about music. Yeah, Beth think goes, oh my God, you got props. Like we all got props, you know, facial masks, get bags, you know, whatever. I bet Ramona got props and Ramona's like, oh yeah, sometimes, I think something cell phone. Whoa. I need music, okay? I have a Ramona sex cassette tape that I bring to my lovers like Tom. Sorry, I'm sorry. What do you think is on Ramona's sex playlists?

I feel like it's really like I want to dance with somebody. Want to feel the heat with somebody. Whoa, the rhythm is gonna get ya. The rhythm is gonna get ya. The rhythm is gonna get ya. It's going. I like big butts. It's gonna get you. The room's gonna get you. It's dark. I like big butts.

Can I not buy, okay? Yeah. You down with the OPP? Yeah. Yeah, you know me. She was working in a brighter shot. Flushing queens. And a boyfriend kicked around. Well, it was brushing zing. So awkward thinking of Ramona fucking,

but also more awkward thinking of Ramona planning to fuck on Spotify. Yeah. It's probably put on some Michael Booblay. I don't want to think that. So, Sony's like, oh, yeah, you know, some very white. Some. And that's how I'm like, oh my god, that's so obvious. Like, that's how she goes, but Ramona does play very white. She's like, oh my god. Of course she does. Like, that's so mad. Every mother sex, very white sex music. By the way, like, people

have been fricking themselves to very white for like decades. Like, how dare you, Bethany. So I'm sorry. I just don't like to think about like cuddling your songs and like, well, jobs aren't. And then she does the struggle mode, the white lady's struggle mode from the iPhone. She's like, Rimmona actually does say she goes like, oh, promises, no promises.

I love that song. I was like, what song is that? I googled it, it's a song by Demi Lovato. I'm sorry, I know, you know, it's a song by Demi Lovato. I'm sorry, I know it was a song featuring Demi Lovato. I don't know, it's not a good endorsement if you ask me. Yeah, this all scene was weird because it's like you know that people just want to yell at Ramona. So just yell at Ramona.

Do I have to think of Ramona like getting yourself ready with Barry White? Yes. I know, just yell at her. Yes, you have to sort of like build up to it just like you do when you're in the Mona like getting herself ready with Barry White. Yes. I know. Just yell at her. Yes. You have to sort of like build up to it just like you do when you're in the best place. So in the best place, I mean, that's really obvious, but like seriously, everyone has props.

Like everywhere. Caratop. I mean, I can't think of anyone else right now. Nothing has the chance that she opens up. Yeah. Just like, look, water. Water. It's a prop.

It's a water prop. She's like obvious. So, um, this has a carol. This is what this is what this carol does. Everyone has props. I was like, ew! So we're going to have things like, have you ever been to like the pleasure check or like some store like that like a sex shop or whatever you're like, oh I'm so sexually rebellious.

I'm going to go to a sex shop. And then you look at the other people in the sex shop and you're like, I feel like Carol literally has props. Like, she has break-wake glass. She has a gun that, like, a little flag comes out of. She has, like, an axe that's, like, made a film. Like, real, she's like a put on production. Actually, she says she likes listening to the TV. Yeah. So, it's like everyone has to do it.

And then, like, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, like, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, like, of foam. Like real, she's like a put on a production. Actually, she says she likes listening to the TV. Yeah. So everyone has props, but I just put on the news. I'm like, you are disturbing. You're disturbing woman. So Bethany is like, you know what? I didn't do anything about dating when you're in rehab.

Like anything else you're supposed to know, whatever. And Louis has basically like, I mean, can you believe Ramona? Can you believe that Tom invited her to the party? That's OK, because that thing goes. All right, so prison, you know, like people are hooking up in prison. I'm like, who fucks people in prison? Like, I know that.

And then I go, well, my therapist told me that if you ever hook up with someone in a recovery, you have to wait a year. She's like, oh, all right. But Ramona! Ramona was asking for an invitation. So Bethany starts now. She's like, OK, I'm going to open this up to the table.

So first she's asking Sonia about the invitation. She's like, yeah, I got it. I ignored it. And then Luanne's like, well, Ramona, over here, we're trying to get invited. That's bad. That's bad. This is worse than that.

Oh, I'm sorry. That was Bethany saying that. But I could believe that. Yeah, because Bethany, the queen of apologies, is like, he is had to apologize, you know. So Ramona's like, well, here's what happened, OK? And so now she's like done the whole woman speech. So now she's just trying to get bread

from every part of the table and trucks. That's all she does. She's like, so you sweat? I have my friend. Lori. Is it the same friend Lori? Because I wrote down Lori again. Yeah. She lost her cat and she was very sad.

Does anyone see that cat by the way? Yeah. And they moved some things. That's the present place. But you know, I was in Palm Beach visiting a place. The Lori might have been visiting. And I was thinking Yeah, what? Cat

Or the cat was missing the poor he needed to cheer her spirits up. She needs to go to a party. She wanted to go to Twombs party and I was like can you find out can get an invitation to Tom's Boy, Sam. Okay, and I was like I'm gonna ask you know what you know, I'll text him I'll text him because you guys text him. Because you guys, like, you guys are girlfriends, do, okay? I text him. Yeah. And she goes, I was just trying to embed things. Be out that friend.

Do you remember the shit that Bethany putly went through over Tom? I mean, please tell me it's not about Tom. So, remind us, like, listen, I saw Tom every single day I was done four times a day. Yep, more times than I could. I couldn't stop seeing him. It was like everywhere I followed him, he would be there. So, Tom, and she just like,

she just has like bread rolls falling out of her mouth, crumbs like falling everywhere. And Ramon did not even eat bread. She has a great call back. Ramon, to the way I'm telling Victoria to chew of her mouth crumbs like falling everywhere and Ramona don't even eat bread. There's a great call back Ramona. I'm telling Victoria to chew their mouth closed. Ramona taking bread baskets from other tables just to do her shrug dance. I don't know. She's like, well, she's like, I'll text it. Lori. Hopefully, they'll be so discussed by the amount of carbs I just put in my face. I'll stop asking me questions. So this is where I'm like, like, Ramanah. Ramanah's a FOMO case.

Which I love that Luhan is traveling and like learning things like FOMO, you know? Yeah. Because Luhan has just heard this term and she thinks it's like a legitimate mental illness, you know? Yeah. Because she's like, she is a FOMO case.

So sometimes you just have to forgive her. Did she place our relationship in front of her thumb? Oh! That's what thumbos do. Yep, that's what thumbos do. Tyler, I learned about it when I was locked up. So, yeah, Bethy is like, what? Sorry, wait, you didn't text, you saw it Tom,

you didn't text the land. I mean, you know what, if I saw Adam, I was like, Carol, and Carol was like, ah, you don't really have to do that. What, you wouldn't, if you saw Dennis, wouldn't it's homie, didn't text the land. I mean, you know what? If I saw Adam, I was like, Carol, and Carol was like, ah, I really have to do that. What, you wouldn't, if you saw Dennis, wouldn't text me about Dennis, hey? I don't think, I actually don't think Ramona's under any obligation to text the land.

And I also don't, I think I can understand her if she was like, she probably doesn't want to hear this right now, you know? So I actually remember that. I was like, look, hey, what are we going to pretend? You didn't even invite me to your wedding. Hey, Drew T. are we gonna pretend? You didn't even invite me to your wedding. Hey, Drew T. Like whatever she said.

With court, by the way, Ramona is absolutely correct. I'm sorry, but Louis has like, you can't come to my wedding, there's too much wrong. Also, Ramona was fucking that guy when you started dating him. There's like so much stuff here. Which, too, I believe. I don't know, we love Louis, and she never does anything wrong.

No, bitch. When you started dating, when Ramona was dating him, then stolen, then didn't even invite Ramona to your, which, I mean, who would buy a criminal to wear a wedding dress? I think everybody's wrong. I don't know what I feel. And Lewand goes, what, a traitor?

Ramona makes better journals that look like Betsy Ross. I'm like, oh. I was like, I'm a traitor. I was like, I'm literally dumb, I'm a dumb. I was like, I'm literally dumb, I'm a dumb. I thought, and I don't have a very high pitty enough myself. I knew I was dumb. She makes general corn walless look like La Fayette.

Yes, I've seen Hamilton. General Carmel corn. I mean, I don't even know. I can't even say anything in my mind. I'm like, who? What? I'm like who what I was like remind yourself you told a maithflower joke be proud so finally I'm on it's like okay I'm not gonna win this so she's like you know what you know what it was a bad call and I shouldn't

Do it it's a bad call My friend Laurie need it and I said okay to the woman. I was there for a little woman. I should put the man. I should put Luans non-inviting feelings ahead of Laurie and her missing cat. Ramona Shraug just becomes like stopping traffic. She's like, it was wrong. It was wrong. So they go, girlfriends, empowering. They go home and cheap ass Sony is just stealing shit off the wall, okay? So I mean, thinking that pictures, she taking the fruit baskets and ham sandwiches, she

doesn't care, she's the gift baskets. And now Bethany is wasted, so she's like nice and fun. What is it? Yeah, what are the odds by the way that Sony is next like line of shoes, it's gonna be called the Mayflower collection, and it's just like all the stolen Mayflower merch, she's just putting on her shoes. So these two have fun, but everyone else is like, so they go to bed. So the next morning, so Bethany is like, it's like the post show report. So Bethany is like, you know what, Ramana? She's just terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person. And then she. Terrible person. Terrible person.

And then... If I can... If I can... She did that to me, I'd fucking kill her. I'd fucking kill her. No one is... No one's Jason Jason Hoppy, bitch, okay? No.

Even Mario got laid more than Jason Hoppy. I Ramona's like... Ramona goes, listen. Oh, I'm not perfect. I never said I was... Okay. I'm sorry. You know what's crazy?

If it were John or Adam, I never would have texted. But it was like a little blurp, you know? It was a blip. It was a blip on the thing. It was a blip. It was a blip. It was a blip.

It was a tom in the skull. It was like a blip. It was like, oh, a tie a blip. Who cares? And girls was like, yeah, but she was in rehab, so that might have been a little bit of a sign. I was like, well, I don't even know what rehab is. What is that word?

I don't need to get it. Meanwhile, Sonya is literally picking gifts paper out of the trash. I'm gonna do so. She is. That's like, oh my god, you were not taking the tissue paper, and so he's like, no, no. I do like the gold one, though.

He's like, I'm taking it. Which actually made me laugh out loud, because you're just like laughing at herself. He's like, I'm taking it. I'm taking it. Which actually made me laugh a lot, because you're just laughing at yourself. She's like, I can't know, but I got to take this as your paper. So the next morning, the music people were like, go and garage band and type in sensitive straight white girl.

Like, what is this? It was, it was like this ding, ding, ding, ding And then of course, it's Luanne, like at the window like, the indignities have suffered. System system system. I remember that. I saw her in that jail. I remember when I was just a carefree heterosexual. Buffon Martha. It's like, what happened to you in there? What happened? So Dorinda walks in and It's like, what happened to you in there?

What happened? So, Durinda walks in and she's like, oh, I love you at pajamas. And Lohan goes, cozy, come feeling. Durinda is like so in love with her and right now. She just really wants to know what rehab is like.

Yeah. She ain't ever going to go there. No. Unless she's like, what are you like in me? And lose rehab, be jammy. Like every question, she's like on Luan's ass this whole time. And Luan's like, yes, they are there. Coming to me, PJs.

I'm like, you stole that shit from me, I'm fucking Luan. I think she was joking. I think she was joking. That bitch was not joking. Those are new PJs. Yeah. So Luan's just like, she's just in a place of zen, and she's like, I mean, how could you have tension here

at the Mayflower? I mean, I'm caughtled by my friends and my homies. I was like, did Luans just say her homies? Guys, anybody else reading from the Native Americans at this point? I was like, God, how different things would have been. So Leuands, like, I'm not even mad at Ramona. I just feel sorry for her.

I mean, what a sad woman. She doesn't even have her own cabaret. I'm not going to find out. How does she think I'm not going to find out? She doesn't care if you find out, OK? So the girls are all sitting around. And the lobby breakfast couch just don't call it a lobby. And whatever, blah blah blah.

You could be a leg model. Those are great legs. She's got legs and she knows how you use them. I don't have any. Look at it, it's all in the poll. Look at the legs. You'll recognize them. Be to the punch, baby. So, Sonia comes in, she's wearing her slippers, and Beth, he's like, I've decided everyone hates me, so I'm gonna suddenly be nice to Sonia this year for no reason, after calling her a stupid whore, who's a cheater brand or whatever.

Yeah. So she comes in and these slippers with a deer on them or whatever. Yeah. And Sonia's like, my brand, my purse. Yes, for the deer. My own, she's like a deer. She's like a princess.

And Ramona, who knows, she's guilty. He's like, oh my god. Sonya, look at you, a woman. Look at me, a hoarding woman. Like she goes in her whole life. And powered women with deer on their feet. Mine are invisible. Yeah.

And Sony's like, oh yeah, I have these slippers, you know. Buh-buh-b blah. And during the death group What did she say? She says well cuz no because Sonia says well, yeah, you know the deer. It's from my family crest Like what what family is that? She goes, well, what family are you from like they just met who are you? Oh, you know the Morgan's is the Morgan Chris and Dern does like, well, I would feel like an idiot walking around in a Ralph's family, Taroton. I'm like, I don't know who Ralph is, is Ralph, is that Sonia's ex-Routh Morgan? Or is that like an ex of Dern, I don't know who Ralph is, but he has a chart and Dern

will not be wearing it. You should feel like an idiot marrying some guy walking around and something called a turtlene. Who does that? That's gross. Turtlene's are lovely. They are gross. This is America.

There's no place for turtlene's. So, get your goddamn Hilton bathrobe like the rest of us. So Bethany is like, hey, so what's your last name, huh? What's your last name? She's like, medley. So you go, yeah, where'd that come from? Where'd that's from, Richard? Ha.

That's so good, though. That's so good, though. Figure that out. No, you can't tell. You can tell me how much you have. No, I just, I mean, I think there's a, I actually do think there's a big difference. I mean, look, I would not come at Sonya and be like,

why are you wearing the Morgan family crest? Because like, who cares? We all know she's like, delusional, right? Like, who cares? Let her have her dear. She fucked an old person for a long time. Yeah. I get a personalized license plate that said,

I survived that old motherfucker. True. I don't have, like, I got farted on for a decade. Like, I don't know what I got. I don't know. I got as a bunch of oversized napkins. I got some slippers from China. Like, what did I wear?

I don't know. I mean, like, the comparison I think between Durinda's last name and Sonia with the family crest. I mean, like Sonia was kicked out of the morgans, basically. I mean, but to Winter went through is- Yeah, different. When you're the survivor of someone, that's different. So I don't, I thought that thing was

going with barking at the wrong tree. It is different, it is different. But that thing's just like, I don't like Dorenda right now, so I'm just gonna try and make this make sense. So she's like, yeah, what? And Dorenda is like, I would never wear a cat. Like, what did she even talk? I'd like look it up on the internet. So I was like, yeah, what? And they're like, I would never wear a cut. I'm like, what did she even talk? I'd like to look it up on the internet. So I was like, is Dorenda drunk? Yeah. This is like the morning, you know? And the best thing is like, wow, you got his initials, uh, monogrammed on your luggage. I'm

like, that's not the same thing. Yeah. Also, I like, Sonia doesn't help herself with her defense. She's like, well, you know, I go to the family museums, I'm on the board. We have the Morgan hot air balloon, which I like to fire up once in a while. Thank me, there's many Morgan's as they can get. Like, no, they don't. Who votes around like we need a Morgan? Get us a broke one, OK?

Get us a broke Morgan. How about a fair child? So, Doremi, go see the other Morgan. Her daughter is a Morgan. You'll about a fair child? So, Dorena goes, she's not in the morning. Her daughter's in the morning. You'll get a pleasant night in 16. Just because you sleep some with somebody. I mean, if a guy's taken rap, and she'll have every title in the book.

I'm like, you guys are both losing this argument. This is the easiest argument to have and you guys are both losing it. What's happening here? Let me make this clear for you guys. You both fucked rich people. And now you both single, okay bitches? The end.

So then I'm glad you both have homes to live in. Let's thank the old nuts that you almost choked on to get here, okay? So stop tearing down women and think the giant nuts. So then afterwards, Bethany and Sohn you're retired to the room and Bethany's like, I feel like I just got fucked in the ass with no loop. I'm like, you know, it's settled down.

This is not argument about slippers, okay? I'm laugh about your divorce. I'm laughing. Bethany is like, you know what? It's not even nice. I mean, like, Durant really enjoys like, badgering Ramona, okay, I get that. But like Sonia, she's like not even a worthy,

like adversary. I'm like, do you not even remember the scene where you just destroyed Sonia in your office? Do you not remember that, Bethany? I would like to give a gift to Bob, right here in the front row. Ah, I've loved your wife Becky for over a decade. We've been friends for a long time now.

Yeah. I would like to give you this gift, Bob. This is the last scene. Yeah, Bob. This is the last scene. Yeah. Bob. That is a sass from my heart. Yeah. And you're hot.

Becky. Becky has been fought by my back. Becky has, I don't know if there may be other people in here, but like... Get for it, Sass, mother. Becky has been like, was a TV-gasm follower. She was like, he has been here since the original beginning. Not by the way, no commenter. I'm just trying to give props, okay? Oh no, I'm just, I is in the original beginning. Not probably, no comment or whatever.

I'm just trying to give props, okay? Oh no, I'm just, I'm upping your props. No, we're following. Some of us have been, some of us have been, some people have been really, have been like following us and blogging and podcasting for like years and years and years. But I'm pretending this is you right now. He says, I support the women.

I said, what? Yes, for it's, okay. So, bad things like, I, listen, I don't women. I said, what? Difference, okay. So bad things like, I, listen, I don't want to be a cheerleader. I don't want to be like, everything you do is right. Because it's hard. It's like, I don't want to be crazy. But it's like a family crescent. It's like a theater.

I'm like crazy. I'm just like, I'm like crazy. Am I crazy? Am I crazy? Yes, you are crazy. Yeah, I don't want to act like I'm not some stupid slut in horn. Like some drunk is like a cheater brand. I don't want to act like that.

What I'm just saying is, you're right right now. So he's like, am I crazy? He's just taking everything from the rest of the game. OK. So now, the handle hits the Mayflower. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, there's the foe. Clank, clank, clank, there's the pen. It's a ringer. Clank, clank, clank, clank, that's the photo. Clank, clank, clank, that's the pen.

It's a ringer. Clank, clank, clank, grosser trolley. Hello. Trolley service here, that's a joke. It's like magnets. It's her problemist. She's like, my problemist is it's not a problem. It's like, uh-oh.

Your mom, who cares, you pay them. Tell them, call me when I'm not busy and need more skink. So Ramona put that photo from the restaurant? Oh, no, no. Post it on Instagram. Girl, you think Ramona trying to make one of those little apple books you buy for $20 of your pictures from your eye photo? What do you think she's taking pictures for?

Yeah. Instagram. It's Ramo. It's anybody in 2017. I don't know. It was a long time ago. I can't remember. Luans, like, I... I don't want people talking about me. I... I don't.

But... I know it's feelin' like somebody's watching me. I'd come into my cabaret. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Ha-ha-ha. I'm an icon. I'm watching you post on Instagram. And of course it looks like she's a total drunk, because everybody else is, you know.

And so she's at the head of the table, so this is what the table looks like. Because Ramona was rearranging everything. It's like we were like, it's like 90 drinks. And she's like, I just told her it was a change. It wasn't me. Stunning on the table. I'm the love thing banging on the bathroom floor. It wasn't me.

Saturday night, I was at the midflower. Sitting at dinner with my girlfriends. It wasn't me. In the closet. Was that song with the guy I was hiding in the closet? You guys are so old. I'm like, try to talk about my rap songs. I will remember you. That's for booze. In the closet.

Baby, baby. I'm sober now and loving it. But I still want to drink up a ton of Instagram. I won't listen to an Amy Grant song But doesn't have Jesus in it. It's just not right Okay, so Ramona has been posting on Instagram. So Beth and he's up there like oh my god Oh, man, this is like literally a big deal like I mean, I know I haven't always like now I've caught you a super slot too. Yeah, I mean what What are under the bridge? Why are under the bridge, whatever under the bridge. Rage, shut up for the wind.

Alright, just like what I'm saying is you should be called. C'mon silver bird. C'mon silver bird. C'mon silver bird. C'mon silver bird. So bad to say. He was what I'm saying. You should like want to murder or murder right now.

It's a big deal with she, the Instagram. It's a big deal with she, the Instagram. So bad to say. He was like, you should like want to murder or murder or murder right now. It's a big deal with she, the Instagram. It's a big deal with say, come on Silver Bird. So I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying. You should like want to murder Romano right now. It's a big deal with she, the Instagram, she pelted out and Luminous like,

oh that's right, anybody knows? She texted John, he was finally able to say things. Oh, don't hear that. And then they cut your Romano and care. I was like, maybe that was in nice. And so Romano's like, what? We all look good. Whoa, listen, it's a pretty what? We all look good.

Whoa. Listen, it's a pretty picture. We all look happy. And even if there is wine, it's okay. Hey, she's an adult. That's actually a great life motto. It is. We all look happy.

It's a pretty picture. It's a good picture. And Carol's like, yeah, but she went to jail. Well, maybe the judge will appreciate that she's going to hear. Like, what do you want me to say? Like, we look good. But, technically, Waren's argument. She's like, well, you know, I told the judge,

I'd be behaving myself and stay laying low. And then here she, I'm like, you're filming a TV show. Yeah. Who are you going to yell to, camera man, next? Yeah. So, about things like, listen, I'm not turned to pot. I'm not like, Doreen, duh. But I'm planet earth. But this is really bad. Yeah. But I'm planet earth man next. Yeah. So about things like, listen, I'm not throwing the pot. I'm not like, the rain, duh. But I'm planet Earth.

But this is really bad. Yeah. But I'm planet Earth. Really bad. Please let Bethany narrate the next planet Earth. Really bad Earth. All right. All right.

This is why it's like, they're softens in there. Okay. So you got like a lion. The lion's like a monkey. I don't know. It's a giraffe. How do you run drafts? How do you run?

Like, what's going on? I don't know. What's a man? What do you mean the drafts? How do you run? Like what's going on? What's the matter? What do you mean the drafts? You have draft ones that are run. There's a line right there. What's the time? I tell you, I have a big neck. Can't see the line. And then Ramona and the episode back on.

Oh my god. These girls, they always end up on the negative, okay? Yeah, I mean, I send it to Tom, make sure he was okay, and then I take up. I tried to take this whole photo. Instagram, I'm like, I'm still the film. I burned down a house. I robbed a 7-11 and somewhere, I'm the bad guy. I got Neymau lost.

What did I do? And now I'm in trouble. I remember you just hear the camera and I'm like, booh-ho-ho-ho. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And then it just all ends with someone just going, yoga! And that was all, that was it.

That was real awesome New York. Yeah. Yeah. Every single detail. This was a long ass live show. Thank you guys so much. Thank you for indulging us in that. Thank you guys for coming.

Thank you for brave and heat. Happy birthday, Melanie. And thank you, Stand Up Live. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. By the merchandise. And speaking of Santa Plot, we're

going to be drinking right here at Cabada Place. I'd want to one other thing. If you guys are going to post photos or whatever, use all hashtag. hashtag.w.s. Do it. Do it. So we know who to send gifts to.

Oh my god. Thank you guys. OK, so here's a quick thing. Everybody who's brought shirts, tag yourself on Instagram. Everybody else, go on Instagram, search this hashtag, www.crapins, and vote for your favorite with a like. And we'll send you something from Leab Black!

We're Leab Black on my side! Woo! Jewelry! This has been amazing, I'm so glad we can be in there. Three weeks, maybe. So I'm so fun. We don't even know why we're saying sorry. This has been a blessing getting to do this. So thank you guys for letting us. We love you. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful night. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watchcraftens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon

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