Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Maniac Mansion

Episode Date: April 18, 2020

This week on Real Housewives of New York, Sonja gets wasted at a mansion party, and Luann escapes the humiliation of being chosen for Ramona's basement. Plus, icebergs! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens

What Guess what happens Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast that all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, one of the rotating hosts of the Game Brain podcast, so if you love board games as much as I do, or want to get involved with them, go check that out. And I also do the Real House where it's a Kitchen Island, which has a brand new episode that went up about an hour ago.

So please check it out, because it takes a lot of time, and I really enjoy doing it, and I really hope that you guys can see it and enjoy it, and also blah, blah, blah. But anyway, that's on YouTube, so go check that out. Real Housewives of Kitchen Island, and joining me is a man who he submits himself

on a weekly basis to the perils of the bachelor and the bachelor at and whatever strange singing spin-off shows they have. It's Ronnie Carram, a roast pricks, bachelor's podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Well, hi, honey. You're wearing a pizza shirt today and it's making me so hungry because I had my breakfast.

I know. I want a pizza. Oh, my hair. I'm just thinking that last night I really want pizza. I love pizza. Pizza's best. I'm just waddling around. That's for sure. I mean, I'm just packing it on. I made some bread this week. Yeah.

Even a loaf of bread. I made a loaf of bread. Thank you. And it almost the whole thing, I would have eaten the whole thing, but it was very crusty. And I just had to give myself a bread, like my teeth were hurting. That's how chewy it was, you know. And I was like, God, this is an amazing life. I made myself some, I made muffins, I made some banana crunch muffins. I mean, I've just been making all sorts of stuff. Chicken stew with like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, without the, the pie part on top.

But with biscuits instead, it's just been a lot of indulgences. So, it's delicious. Yum. I mean, add pizza a lot of. Yum. I'm gonna add pizza to that list. Anyway, so here is the update. It's Friday. Today we're gonna be recapping real housewives of New York.

And tonight, in case you didn't hear, we're doing a live show, quote unquote, air quote live show because we were supposed to be in Madison and Oklahoma City this weekend doing live shows, but obviously we can't. So instead, we're doing a live from quarantine extravagant where we'll be recapping the season premiere of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I have lots of specific opinions and I'm throttling them in general tonight, which is really

very difficult for me. But we're going to be recapping that. So it's going to start at 6 o'clock. We're going to do like a pre-show on IG live. And during that time, we will be giving announcements and details for how you could win your very own Roomba. Just like Dolores and Ramona, which is those are the Irobat Roombas that Ronnie and I have. So those details will be coming out in the pre-show tonight at six o'clock IG live. And then at 6 6.30 we go over to Patreon and we're going to do the live stream of Bill House, the Beverly Hills and we'll be basically on the air

recap, again you guys can write comments and stuff like that, it's super fun. Much like we're doing right now, right? This is actually this episode is like crap is on demand, so that's on Patreon, too, go to patreon.com slash watch our crap ends for that. Yeah, lots of videos. Yeah. And also videos. Yeah, lots of videos, tons of videos, great content there, like over 100 videos. Also, in case you missed the announcement, we unfortunately have to postpone our May and June live shows.

It's now official. I mean, sort of had to kind of figure it was going to happen. But now it's a fish. So we will let you guys know once we have new dates for that and your tickets will be honored for those dates, et cetera. And because we are in the middle of pandemic, mania, we've been trying to give some shout outs to some small business businesses that our listeners have. So we've asked people to write in. Ronnie, do you want to do want to give a shout out? Sir, first up for today is Duck Brigade.

Duck Brigade is a small Denver-based Designed Web Development Studio. They specialize in podcast websites and logos. So if you need that stuff done, which I know you do, because one business that is still thriving in all of this is the Yapin business that we're in. So if you guys have shit, you're talking about, you have a website, you have a podcast, you need to get your stuff together for go over to

duckbergade.com. That's duck like, you know, little bird brigade.com. I love that name. Duck brigade. How adorable. I can know a brigade of ducks. Like that's like probably one of my favorite kind of Brigades ever obi just I mean don't we all just love like when there's a duck with her with the ducklings Just like in that little train just walking around like I could just watch ducks walking around And a brigade. I hate ducks. What's just kidding? I just isn't the me to feed Wow

Contrary in no Well, here's a here's the one that I'm gonna profile right now Oh, Contrarian. No, I hate this. Well, here's the one that I'm gonna profile right now. Maria Ayala, who is from your neck of the woods, Austin, Texas. She and her boyfriend own Mimi's cleaning service, and they use 100% organic cleaning products and do several types of cleaning from basic to deep residential commercial.

They pay their ladies fair wage and their mission is to keep Texas tidy. So, you know, cleanliness is really, people are at his top of mind right now. So go check out Mimi's cleaning service if you're in Austin. Then said that and I started itching. I was like, oh, cleanliness.

That's one thing I do not have in my life right now. I have home cleanliness, fairly clean, but oh my God, my body, I'm disgusting. I'm surprised little plumes of dirt aren't coming off of me like pig pain. I know, I'm realizing I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. I'll be honest. That's all I think about.

For bad, I was purposely like fuck you. I actually took off all my clothes to get into the shower. I turned on the shower and then I was like, I really don't want to do this right now. So I turned off the shower and put on my dirty clothes. Slathered some teotering on just in case you know you never know when someone's gonna break that quarantine and be like I heard your pubs for roasted. You never know. Yeah, like we had to we actually had to

call on a plumber this week because the dishwasher went on the fritz and it was like made a puddle. It was like the dishwasher had an accident. And the plumber came without a mask and I was like, oh my god. And I was like, first of all, it was a person in here. There's a person in here. And then he didn't even have a mask on. And then today I have to go to the UPS store. So I'm venturing out into the world

for the first time in five weeks. And I feel like I'm the mom in What's Eating Gilbert grape. And I'm very, very scared about this entire process. God, has it been five weeks? That's crazy. Feels like five weeks. I don't know. Yesterday, I cried.

You cried? Why'd you cry, babe? Well, because I was watching the series finale of The Golden Girls. And turns out that it still makes me cry. Like I had an ugly cry. I was sitting there watching it with Dom and I've just seen her eating like a bowl of cereal and I was doing great I was like I've seen this series finale so many times like not a problem at this point And then when Dorothy is like on on those cold nights, when I'm feeling lonely, I'm going to wrap our friendships around me like a cloth

or whatever she says. And I was like crying in my studio. So pandemic. Night. Okay. It's, it's a good transition to the show. It's basically the golden girls. Well, I need a better angle on my teeth here. Okay, there we go. Okay. So everybody, welcome Dorothy's Warnack is left. Okay, she's left the building. So now it's time to get to Real Housewives of New York. Oh, the score for this show is just so delightful. I mean, the whole episode, I was like, God, I need surround sound.

Just like a jam out to the Real Housewives of New a New York score really top of the line staff guys. Yeah, it's They do everything is top of the line on this show every single thing and by the way Spoiler I absolutely cannot wait for next week's episode. I the the scenes for next week Look like it. It's gonna be legendary There's a vibrator in the chicken. There's a vibrator in the chicken. There's a vibrator in the chicken. This is my house, cat is my house. There's a vibrator in the chicken.

I woke up this morning so I didn't watch it last night because I was working on the cartoon. And so I woke up this morning and just like five different people texted me, there's a vibrator in the chicken. Anyway, so we're still on the Hamptons and everybody's getting ready for the day, you know, housewives getting ready, seeing everybody plucking and, you know, slacking. And it's like, you make a, you make a clue on your face.

It's like, it tries. It's just how it is. It's like, believe in your face. It rolls off. It just rolls off. Just don't worry about it. Yeah, it's like, you know, just the standard Elmer's glue. Use Elmer's glue for your lashes. I don't know. Spackle. I don't know what it is. God, you need to. Now, lashes are like fucking awnings at restaurants now. Yeah. Geez. The last trend has got to stop.

So many people are just going to walk around with Garfield eyes when this decade is done. I'm hoping that this pandemic gives a little bit of a stylistic reset for certain things, you know? Like for lashes? Lashes. Just lashes, I guess. Well, you know, I will say people are not giving up their lashes.

I'll tell you that because I saw a picture of I think it was just lashes like well you know I will say people people are not giving up their lashes I'll tell you that because I saw a picture of I think it was to Rick Kim's on Instagram or something if she wasn't wearing lashes and someone was like is this no lashes thing the new look because I'm not having it never was like oh yeah hell no I'm wearing my lashes. I was like wow yeah people have very, very intense thoughts about their lashes. You can take my guns, you will not take my life. I know, like this. Well, you know, people clinging to their lashes.

Yeah, no, I'm sure the pandemic will have the opposite effect and that people will actually brandish their lashes as like the last messages of what society was before this all happened. Like I will wear my lashes and they're like I wear them in public again. That is the night. The lashes fell off a Georgia.

People at the state capital in Michigan protesting for lashes. Oh god. Anyway, so, so, so, so, so, everyone's getting ready and stuff and Ramona's like, girls, I mean we're not going to a party, okay, we're going to a convenient. Why is everyone getting so dressed up? Come on, get that glue off your face. So, you know, why do you roll it? Why do you have a rolly pole in your face? Oh, is that more glue? Oh, sorry, sorry. The cool talking you look like you're ready to get a studio 64. Which is the Nintendo 64 version of Studio 54. Okay. That's our studio 54. We're such a dork. So we never would have even gone to Studio 54. We'd have been like fuck that. We're playing Nintendo 64 all my things. Yeah. That's way better. Yeah. So Tinslay and Leah are getting dressed and I don't

know. Everybody's just getting ready to go. Rumon is like, well, we're going to cut a wine read today. It's it. You know, something beautiful. We're going to look at beautiful grapes. We're going to look at grape tree. What a grape. Some trees. I don't even know. We're gonna look at grape tree. What a grape, so trees? I don't even know. Yes, you're just, we're gonna look at the beautiful, what, beautiful wine trees? What do you call them?

Wine trees, I'm like trees. I think trees works. Oh, vines. Vines, yeah, that's true. Vindia vines. Plants. Anyways, so, Luanne is at the car practice. So she won't be able to go to the winery.

So I'm just imagining Luann on one of those car practice tables, just getting her back snapped. Oh, that is the spot. Oh, yeah, baby. Everybody knows that she's like not really at the car practice. She's just a total liar. She's just a car practice for like 16 hours. I never. Yeah, the car practice literally's just a total liar. She's just a car or factor for like 16 hours

Yeah, the car pressure literally takes like five minutes, but she's like it's like the afternoon things during the keeps saying I Take you way she is she's on a boat. She's on a boat. Hey, too, too. She's on the boat truck. Yeah You woke up completely bad in battery and the way I'm like Yeah, this is Lewein's new thing while she did some breakfast cabaret dedicated to the spider She's like, uh, um Ramona. I mean you have a little bit of a spider issue downstairs by the way Because she saw one spider come down while she was brushing her teeth or something So the rest the episode she's acting as like she's in like the reboot of a rack in a phobia. Yeah. Oh my God, that movie.

So then a winery. Here we go. Let's go to the winery. Okay. Sony gets out and of course has to cover her badge. Like Sony will not wear anything that she doesn't have to cover her badge when she's coming out of a car. It's like, she's your according to a winery lady. Like, yeah, she had to know it all the way up to her crotch. Like, it was like, it looked like we were looking at a teepee, like an inviting teepee. Like, the flap was open, you know?

Yeah. Uh, so Ramona's like, whoa, winery lady. What do you people drink? Which is such a great way to ask for a suggestion. What do you people drink? It's wine. Okay people What's one fresh off the wine tree? Okay, I remember what I do to drink at studio 73 But I don't know what you guys drink here. Okay at Wolframs did okay. Sorry. Sorry So so Leo orders a Merlot and during the case and Merlot and during this ah

Rang in a mess Rang in a mess Runa's like thought you didn't drink and he's like well I'm not like sober okay not sober The thing is I'm not an alcoholic I just don't like what alcohol did in my life so I stopped I was like uh yeah listen I'm not an alcoholic I just I stopped. I was like, uh, listen, I'm not an alcoholic. I just got arrested and I also had to, I also went to rehab and I'll call it one of my life.

And I found that if I just recite 12 steps, I'm totally fine. So, but I'm not really an alcoholic. Yeah, you're like, um, yeah, I wonder if they, I wonder if that's like part of questioning to be on this show, like, how much do you drink? Yeah. Okay. Are you an alcoholic yesterday? Like, and then just watch how much they deny it and how guilty that they're going to be

about it because you have to be kind of like an alcoholic and denial to be on this. So, right? Yeah, basically the whole cast. Yeah, pretty much. So, yeah, so they're headed to this, they're at the winery and stuff, and, uh, and, uh, and Luanne texted saying that like, she still can't make it to the winery or whatever, and so Durin just like, yeah, that's because she's at a house

having a grando time, having a grando time. Um, and because Luanne got a sense of the email saying, uh, hey girls, my neck got cracked, but I still have a headache on a count of, creating my neck out of the way of all those spiders descending on my bed last night. Wow, Dr. told me to take it easy, you know, non-spider-filled environment. So, you know,

I'm hanging upside down in a spider web like Cheetah Rivera and kissed with the spider woman. Well, I was driving. I woman! Well I was driving. I was driving over to you guys and I heard a song on the radio. Turns out I'm not the only one who's been in this terrible situation. It was Gwen Stefani saying, Sorry I'm not at Ramona's home right now. I'm walking through the spider web so leave a message when I'm done with a chiropractor.

So they're all trying to decide if Lou Ann's lying or not. And Leah's like, I mean, in what world would you invite your alcoholic friend to a winery? And then next surprise that she does some show up. It's not a riddle, guys. I know. I then Durinda, she just still goes for the boat thing. And she goes, she's in that boat.

And she starts doing a steering wheel thing. She's like back and forth. Like she's driving like truly Mario Kart. He's in that boat and she starts doing a steering wheel thing. She's like back and forth, like she's driving like truly Mario Kart. He's on that boat and that boat. I'm like, what sort of boat are you driving, Duranda? So she's like, it's 24 hours. We have a really good drink, right? And then you go, you know what?

I'm not scared of drinking. I'm scared of me when I drink. It's like, hmm. And Duranda's like, bring it on. And during this like, bring it on. And Romona goes, okay, just for what we're gonna do. Okay? You're welcome to share something. Bollonrable, okay?

Because sharing something, phonerable, is how we get to know each other. And also, it's the only way I'm gonna get to try and make this lunch about how pain I am. How every time I try, think of Mario, okay? Yeah, so Ramona has just this amazing monologue and it comes out of nowhere she is. So basically, well I started in a very disruptive household, okay? Like when I was 15, I didn't know what I wanted to happen in my life, okay?

So it's sitting at playing music, my record playing, I'd look at the window, look at the clouds, the sky, they'd go, go, bye. Some days we be sunny, some days we be cloudy, and the most overcasts, you'd be like, whoa, the sky's white, we're all the clouds, but the whole sky was cloud, one big cloud. I think where's that cloud going?

When's it going to be? It's supposed to be fog, which is like a cloud on the ground. There'll be a lot of clouds, and I'd say, where am I going my life? You know what? Just later, I'm driving home from the Hamptons. From I'm mansion to the Hamptons, to my very expensive apartment in New York City, and I see,

Whoa! I'm like I'm 16 years old. Where am I going? I don't even know where I'm going in my life. Mommy! Mommy! Help me! Mommy!

Mommy! How do I get from my mansion? To my pet house! Mommy! It's like, yeah. You know what know what I'm driving around and I was thinking I mean it could be five years later It could be 70 years later. Who knows? So don't know where I'm going right? It's like okay, and during this like During this again you were back here you were back here like when you were looking at the window when you were back there. You were back there, like when you were looking at the window, when you were 16.

She's like, yeah, back, okay? I don't even know where I'm going with my life. I'm trying to do that thing where she goes. I got chills. Look, look at the chills. Look, I got chills anyway. Look, chills. Nothing is more terrifying than driving on the LIE.

I'm telling you, chills. Chills right now, chills. I'm like, does Ramona know that Syria is not her mommy? She's like, mommy, where am I going? Where am I going, mommy? Where? Where, mommy? Where?

And Leo's like crying or something, which is okay. So then some, he's like, oh my god, I didn't know you were so realized. I thought you were avoiding all of that. Oh, it's crazy, Ramona. You're in such a state of avoiding all of that. Wow, I'm so excited. You're in such a state of denial all this time. And meanwhile, by the way, while she's talking about how she's basically adrift in her life, and she's been taking back to this dark place of her childhood, and like, pining

for her long dead mother, the music is going Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- So she's like, just, you know, what's important in my wine trees? Also, I don't want to die alone, okay? And I don't even want to admit it, not even myself. Look, what are you talking about, Ramona? You're admitting it, okay? Over and over again. So, Leah's like, so, I think what you're thinking is, what's next?

She goes, that's it, that's it, okay? What's next? Mom? Oh! You... Commissions... Here comes one right now. Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into

a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just say in okay.

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Okay, but put yourself in my position. I mean, I don't have a child. And I have that feeling. I mean, I don't know where I'm going, but at least you have something you've done. You've had a baby. I'm like, I'm a little bit of a little low. Dorenda is, by the way, glaring at her while this is happening.

They don't even focus on it. There's just like a wide shot. And you'll see Dorenda just like sneer like, oh she's getting tried and wind up running right up. It's gonna be big. Yeah, she's a baby. Okay, you gotta drive a boat. Drive that boat. It's funny because I was just her biggest fear. I guess I'm so stupid. And like it's like, you don't got to check a box and drink it's like yeah, I'm just like a box I'm very you know he's one of my festrations with you. Tensley okay. I was I was watching the discovery channel The other day I wait and then listen and then you can get mad at me Right but yesterday we're talking about iceberg

They said no matter how big and beautiful I like to work Then we have any nutritional value And you have covered in blue cheese And frankly they stink to everybody So everybody's saying what do we pretend we like? I could burn them. No one likes you, Wedge Salad. Get away from my table. You better back it up, Wedge Salad. Listen, listen, listen. Okay, I've gotten off topic. Here, let me just put this way.

Okay, I was watching Animal Planet. Okay, just give me out before you get mad. I was watching off topic. Here, let me just put this way. Okay, I was watching Animal Planet, okay? Just give me out before you get me out. I was watching Animal Planet. I was watching Miyaket Manor. And I was like, look at all those cute Miyakets. But they live in Hose on the ground. And I actually do truthage that a lot of times

big animals eat the Miyakets. So my point is, you gotta start dating a Miyaket, okay? No one knows you are. I like Spoke that killed Leo the caprio. You know what? You like feel I only see the cap of the iceberg and Sonia goes. Yeah. And I didn't even know about the new boyfriend.

I mean, it's just so cut off. Tinsley, like, what do you mean you're cut off? She just told you about the new boyfriend. Yeah. She just tells Sonia about the new boyfriend. I don't know. You have to see each other. Yeah. Didn't just tells Sonia about the new boyfriend. I don't know if you have a seat each other. Yeah, didn't she tell Sonia at the season premiere at that, like, I don't know.

So she's like, well, I've been seeing this guy Bruce, and he's from Chicago, but he's got like three kids, and she acts as the whole thing. And it's like, oh, it's like all they want to do is things with him. And then, like, we all hang out. And I don't know, I'm not used to being like one of many, like one in an army of people. An army of people, a duck brigade.

She's like, I'm like, you're not like a nameless face and a cubicle in a massive corporation. It's like six people. I don't know who you are. She's getting no attention because she's with somebody with like a big family and stuff. with a massive corporation. It's like six people. I don't know what you are. She's getting no attention because she's with somebody with like a big family and stuff. And so Leah's like, well, it's because you're selfish. And that's fine.

He doesn't know what a hot bitch he has. And to her end is like, Oh, this is the expert. Yeah. Literally the expert. Yeah, because she talks to Tinsley. Yeah. Here's Y. Spook.

Here's Y. Spook. And another thing is that I sometimes feel like I have a penguin on my back. I speak! I speak straight ahead. I speak straight ahead. Global warming is real. Cause someone bought some coke and solar and this iceberg went just to make a power level. I just can't with her. Listen, I was watching Q.Receive the other day. I'm going somewhere with this and there was a sale and they sold they sold a table and

the table had four legs that's what you got to do you got to stand in your four legs pinched and get the iceberg off of the salad dressing you know I'm seeing so it's like whoa not a great place because I don't like being six on the total bowl and there you go oh yeah he's just a fuck boy tinsley and suddenly goes fuck boy isn't that good me a good lover no and Sonny goes, fuck boy. Isn't that good? Me, good lover. No. No.

He was like, how do you think that's something good? It doesn't even sound good. I mean, here, look at that guy over there. See, that guy's a fuck boy. He's got the white shorts on right over there. Yeah, fuck boy. What? I remember him on his like, okay, Leah, now it's your turn.

Okay. Tell us something. Well, hopefully not something slutting to chew like, because listen, if you're in to say it's okay. Fine. Just tell us something that we get hold over your heads. The next few episodes, the tattoos was a great start. Okay. So she's like, yeah. So basically when after high school, because I was rebelling so much about being

So basically, when after high school, because I was rebelling so much about being sent to the, moving to the mean old streets of Connecticut, I was so furious, I got into drugs and alcohol and I had to go to rehab after high school. And when I got out of rehab, my parents kicked me out and turned and was like, we always home again, was it a nice sprig, was it a nice sprig? It's Connecticut, yeah.

So. So I basically have the same backstory as Leah. You know that right? Like I've been living on my own since I was 15. My parents were me in a behavioral health center. Oh, I thought you voluntarily went to New York. I thought I didn't know you were. I know I'm in my 18. I know your mom. I know you were sent to like a like a like a Bible camp or something. I didn't know you went to a beer. Yeah. They put me in a behavioral health center. There was like gang members and I was my roommate was a gang member and he had to wear this like little vibrating thing

on the back of his ear to help with his rage and stuff. And of course, I loved it. Like I got along with everybody and all the nurses with me. Was he from Connecticut also? It's tough. It's a hard life. Yeah, he was from the glamorous streets of El Paso, Texas. And then after my parents were like, okay, good out now. Have fun. Have fun, you little demon. And I was like, fine, fine by me. Okay. I'm going to work the bowling alley and Applebee's. Oh, yeah. Wow. I'm going to be doing my drama teacher. So I'm really bonding with Leah right now, okay? And do you want to share anything that makes you feel vulnerable?

Um, my, yes. My vulnerability is that I went Leah talked about how she was dropped off at another state in New York. It reminded me of when I was a kid and my parents sent me off to sleep wake camp and I didn't want to go. And so, and so I went to the sleep wake camp because my parents literally put me on a bus. By the way, this is my version compared to your version that just reeks of privilege and I get that. But this is just how being vulnerable, okay? Um, vulnerable.

No, there's nothing vulnerable about it. It was a great experience. I've loved it. And in fact, it was the same sequence. I think the worst person in group therapy, you're like, everything is great. No, I'm just, you know what? I don't know. I have vulnerable stories, but I'm trying to think of what a vulnerable story that makes it.

I don't have to say no more about being dropped off. In, well, you don't have to be abandoned for Christ. Everyone doesn't have to have the same story. And anyway, you already told your vulnerable story about crying over golden girls last night. No, that was, you've already been vulnerable. So that was my story, which is that I then met a man of my dreams and then I had to leave my three roommates.

And then I, before I left, I just ran back in the door and was like, I love you guys. We're always gonna be sisters and then I did like three more times. And then credit's rolled. No, but, the funny thing though, is actually I realized that I was telling that story. That's the sleep way camp I went to is the same I bonded with our friend Ceta because we both went to that same sleep way camp but we were like

and like I did the July session, she did the August session. We found that out when we met in LA and that was one of the things that bonded us and Ceta is the one who's best friends with Leah. So it's full circle of upstate privilege. Oh wow, there you go. We're both bonding with Leah today. Yeah. So we're on a psych-terrinta. Why don't you go next? Sure we're all excited to see you drunk of the cry. And to rent a psych-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err-err- I'm gonna mess ya up, she can't do everything today. I take care of her, I take care of her.

I just take care of everyone. It's me, my dear Teresa. It's taking care of everybody. You know what? I was watching HGTV the only night. I'm going somewhere with Jess and they had love it or listed it. And I was like, you know what? Sometimes I look at Bruce show man and I said, I do love it.

But I also want to listen it And is it hard for me? It's hard. I don't have a partner who understands these things, you know Everyone thinks I'm so strong and the anchor for everyone's boat. I'm really like it for my boat I'm a man of course. Yeah, you know what she's talking about a home She's talking about out because once she says something, she's like, I'm scared and we're monegives up. She's like, oh my little baby, don't be scared, don't be scared.

She won't even let her talk, you know. So Durand is like, you know, a girlie then worried. I wake up worried. I was like, is worried the new word for drunk? Yeah. Maybe don't watch so much law and order SVU before you go to sleep. Also, that might help This yeah wake up at the morning. I'm like de Mariska Hargote find the guy. I don't know like those you've been waiting for that. I'm nervous

I go to bed chicken. I wake up This is Mariska Hargote on a boat somewhere and you know she's living in life She's very obsessed with boats this episode during that ice bar where and you know she's living in life she's very obsessed with boats this episode during the iceburgs during the head of boat and that was like this boats forever now she yeah she watched some sort she watched something I'm discovery about boats in the Arctic and it's like oh that's all she can think about it's like yeah so that every niceberg she's like I'm just not really really who can help me I mean I mean Jan knows how to spot clean the spot

up a shirt and go back and cheat those. That's what John knows. And Lee is like, yeah, you know, there's so much pressure on women. Like, your pipe's burst in your house. And it's like, well, I guess the woman's gonna fix it. She gets away. And so then it goes over to Sonya. I just was like, oh, sure girls, I would love to share. Yeah. She by the way has no story top of mind. So she just starts talking, hoping to find a story, not that I speak from experience. And she just, she just tries to talk her way through it.

So she's like, well, you know, I just, I mean, I saw Ramona last week and I just lost, I just lost my shit like Dorenda does every 15 minutes. You know what I'm saying? Like when a gravy boat goes by and I just lost I just lost my shit like to Rinda does every 15 minutes You know what I'm saying? I'm like when a gravy boat goes by and she starts talking about the anchors and everything So anyway, and then I just like cousins all these random things she says something. I don't even know what she says Wallpaint, okay, let me read it because I just wrote down her stream of consciousness. I was cracking up You get to a point with like Ramona where you say, how did I get here? I mean, all I do is pay bills.

I have one foot in a nursing home and I'm like, I didn't sign up for this. My Venetian plaster. It's so bad. And then you die and you catch some dick on the way. And there goes Daddy with a shotgun. You know those onesies. They're for babies. So, you know, what am I going to do?

I just want everyone to realize in this one scene we have three iconic monologues from three different people. We have a known as driving mommy. We had Dorenda's thing about like you know she was watching this every channel. She's a nice person. That's what you do. You do a beautiful job. And then we have whatever this was in the same scene people so funny and horrendous like I thought we were

Expressing our hearts and he goes I need an oxygen tank I love watching oxygen. Yeah, I remember I was watching oxygen I thought it was Oprah's network, but she owns oh no and oxygen is just about criminos which I love so I just go see So silly so Romona's like okay, tonight we're going to a witch person's house guy Yeah, she's like you guys are gonna go home. I mean go check out the venue for tonight's party okay And so Ramona saying that's like her friend her rich friend is gonna be having a cocktail party And they're gonna be going to his house. And we know that producers do not like this guy

because they put up a headline of him that says, Hampton's developer hosting Trump fundraiser in famed mansion. So that was like the producers way of like winking at the audience like this is like this is sort of guy that we're doing with. Yeah. Yeah. Get him guys. Burn him at the stake. I didn't even read that that's what it said. Yeah, that was like a late they can have done them many different headlines and that they chose that on purpose because they knew. So Ramona's like, okay, thanks for coming, okay, but okay, two syllables. Now listen, I was just telling my daughter today, I was like, it's like crazy. I can't believe I'm getting along with the girl with tattoos. I was like, is it crazy? Can't believe I'm getting along with the girl with tattoos.

Oh, I can't wait to read your book. Oh, wait, I'll never read it because I hear the book is tattooed, okay? Sorry. I heard the pages about tattoos on them. It's like print, that's how books are. It's a, it's just a dragon tattoo. It's not like, anyway.

So, so now not like anyway. So So now it's the afternoon. So like everyone's getting ready for the party tonight and Tinsley is talking about this guy. I already forgot his name. Is the name David or something like that? Joe Joe Joel Joel Joel Joel. So Tinsley actually wanted to date with him and she's like, yeah, I mean he's short I like I went on a date with him and it was sort of like the hard date I've never been on. And Leo's like, yeah, did he just like take you to like a basketball game and like didn't even feed you like you? Yeah.

And Tim's he's like, yeah, well, that date I found out he was friends with Ramona and dated Bethany. So definitely not my type. And the way I come to him, I was like, girl, the mom. I guess I'm gonna go down to Spider Town. Definitely not my type and the way it comes home So I go I guess I'm gonna go down to spider town get some lashes on Cabaret saying you're going down to the jungle any last words before I get attacked by a black widow Hopefully John Goodman's down there with a baseball bat to help me out

Wow, I I just saw the most amazing movie was called the Lord of the Rings Return of the King and there was this very gripping scene with it Oh, wait, no, that was just me being attacked by a spider in the basement never mind So Durinda's like so remote how was your venue for the tidy and remember I was like this. I wasn't checking out Then you I had a date Duranda's like I've never seen the person able to slide in and out of date so fast And then we get a montage of Ramona just always saying like sorry it was on a date I got to go to the bathroom just got back. I was on a date Like like everywhere. She's like I'm on it. Sorry. I'm on a date like Yeah, I like like everywhere. She's like, I'm on a date, like she's like on an airplane.

And what happened to Ramona? I thought she was sitting next to me. Sorry, I was on a date in a different cabin. I'm Kai. Do you think she's lying? No, I actually don't think she's lying. Well, I think that actually they're probably, I don't think she's lying.

I think that she does book a lot of dates. I think that there are also probably some things that she thinks her dates and are not dates at all. But I remember it was actually making me think back to like, so good out of a cab and be like, oh, I just got out off the best date. Yeah. The guy asked me to sit in the back seat. You're such a gentleman.

Yeah, he kept, you know, like, you just, Uber cute, very Uber cute. That's why I used the app Uber because you get get Uber, cute guys that drive your ramps. Wonderful, you make connections. But no, reminded me of when I first came out of the closet, I was constantly going on dates because I was just the excitement of it all. I was like, just dates after dates after dates,

and I think I had no idea what my friends started. I don't think I did like, where Mona did, which was like, just disappeared to go out on a date. But I definitely like, you know, you clutter up your schedule with these meaningless stupid dates, you know? I think you do that when you're like bored or like lonely or just like new to something.

And you know, everyone is still like, only a few years out of her divorce. So I think, you know, she's single and ready to mingle. I don't know. Sometimes it's like she'll literally walk out of the room for five minutes and come back in like, I was on a date. Yeah. I think she has a very, you're in demand.

Yeah. She's a very liberal interpretation of what a date is. So this time she was talking about, yeah, she's talking about her date. She's like, my God, stark. She's very sexy. Okay. She's like my god Starry very sexy Okay, and then she goes Yeah, she also lost 40 pounds recently and kept talking about some bitch I don't know what it was. We seem very charming wherever he was very charming person man who lost 40 pounds

Bitch lost 40 pounds So then she goes it she tells who does she tell who's Sonia talking to you. I said she's talking to the way I come to the bathroom with Sonia to do her makeup and Sonia's like oh now this could be a faux pas. What's going on here. What are you wearing? Okay. You wearing Laura Ashley again. He's still doing that for Ashley Ralph Lauren thing

we still doing the dress barn new and I thought you were cabaret star this different areas of different styles okay that fly which rest not the long key belongs in and tuck it okay well maybe it granted Georgia actually though it's funny because at first I was like oh her dress seems fine but then at the party I was like, yeah, that's not the red dress at all. So she's like, well, I'm glad I missed the winery.

Looks like Sonya was over served, and we're not even at the party yet. And the way I'm just doing her makeup so fiercely, she is so angry. She's angry that she has to keep up this shirad that I want to be here at this house when I'm in the better town next door. She's angry that she has to keep up this sh- this sh- this sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- sh- a spider would come down and kill me right now. Mm-hmm. So they head over to the party and Darona. That's their couple name. Darona and Ramona are in one car. And they're talking about just guys are going to the house they're going to.

And Ramona's like, well, he's a major developer, like huge, huge, huge, huge, huge. He's enormous. Bigger than they like to speak. He's bigger than they speak. He's thinking about he's huge. Norman. Bigger than the legs speak! Is he bigger than the legs speak? He's looking about legs speak. He's looking about legs speak. He's looking about his spirit.

Okay, they're actually really good. You have a bio house from the legs speak. It's great. Got great basements. So then Ramona's like, whoa, look at this house over there. That's my friend. I mean, he doesn't know where friends, but I like to say that we're friends.

Yeah, he invented the lights and kids he goes well yeah cuz in the other car son is all mad she's wasted she's like I'm like you know there's Ramona pulling it out again she's a be knocked down and not I mean everywhere she is this one on she ought this one of planes and she's like yes and then we cut to Ramona like, that's my friend who invented elephants. Hey, you know those little things that go in the bottom of your laptop so we don't slide around. My friend invented, let's write over there, hi friend, hi. Yo, what? Do you remember everyone used to drink their water in their hands? It would put the water like that.

The guy would say, I'm so sick at everybody copying their hands. Boom, I'm inventing cuts. Now it's rich. The two things. No. Yeah, hey, remember, remember, remember pins, how dangerous they used to be, and then someone said so much with them safer. Yeah, that guy invented safety pins right over there. He's my friend. Hi, hi, Brian Boy, it's your friend Ramona. Love your pins.

So we get to the mansion and the only reason Dorenda is not called out for being a drunk ass is because Sony has like fall down drunk and Dorenda's just like slight stumble drunk. Yeah. Dorenda is like slightly stumbling and Sony is like falling down all over everybody. And it doesn't really matter.

It's the best party to be wasted at because it is like a crypt. It's like the worst, almost stereotypical, old, rich white people. Just like, eugh. And I also love that the state was called Sandcastle. Like what a perfect name for, you know,

a real estate developers mansion is like, name me after the most famously, like temporary structure now to man. A sand pass like this like this money has just this guy like give it six months and this guy is going to be broke. We know it. Okay. Like the scandals will come out. The tax evasion shit. This is what always happens.

Yep. And so she's double kissing the designer guy and she's like, oh, well, so beautiful. I love a mirror. Okay. You know, I'll just stand how much it looks daily in front of me. It's so great. I have one at home too. So I'm just gonna say everyone has a mirror, Ramona. Okay. Whoa. Whoa. Is this an area rug? Wow. What a great slime choice as a maven of interior design of houses that are not on highways. I have have to say I love a rug and so nice to see one once in a while. Kai

And so the other girls are driving up in the way. I'm like, oh, there's a frisill sign Solaris because obviously they're just here to market this match. Oh, yeah, right clearly a palace of frisill so So then they get out when it gets out of the car with like just the deepest sigh you can imagine. The sigh of a cabaret star who's been submitted to spider torture. She's like, oh, that hurt neck. Really, really still hurting. No one offered me a better bed tonight. No. So the way I'm like, wow,. I didn't want to offer me a better bed tonight, no. So the way I'm like, wow, this is pretty fancy.

Everybody have their IDs with them. And so he's like, well, we're not getting in there. Oh my gosh, we all have mug shots. All four of us have mug shots. And they put them all up there. Great mug shots. And does she say we're Roxy, baby? Is that what she says?

I think so. We're Roxy baby? Is that what she says? I think so. You know we're Roxy baby. Meaning like we're Roxy in the musical Chicago Which I'll soon be starring in oh wait Just found out there will be some scheduling conflict so unfortunately I cannot do it right now. Yeah So Leah falls out of the car and I'm like, wow, she's fitting in perfectly. Yeah. And then they go in and Leah's like, oh my god, this is like weird white people. What is this? Where are we?

I feel like I'm back at the nunnery. I mean, it's like, I as wide as a shop party. I think I'm just going to be taken into a back room and be made into someone's bitch. Yeah. So Sunni goes up to the waiter and she's like, I have some gin. He's like, no, we don't have that She's like, we're in a 30 million dollar house. There's no gin That's what truly sets her off

And it's also by the way Exactly correct, you know, and then she's like she had the best read on it She's like, well, I want to be it if I'm going to party this house I want to go to party this real house not this fake house. It doesn't have gin Yeah So then Ramona's acting all fancy. She's like, oh, how do you do? Whoa, whoa. Well, I'm charmed.

Whoa, whoa, was sure, whoa. She's trying to be all fancy. And she has a pagemina, and this is after she had shamed Louie on for wearing like a little lace, wanting to wear a little lacy sweater, but now she has like a little Pashmina around her, you know, I just like pleasure to meet you formal formal hello, hello, and good day to you. Hello, hi Since he's like this is hilarious. Sonya's legit like live like this and Ramona's the one pretending to live like this now Like her Pashmina and her how do you do? How do you do bitch? to live like this now like her past weenner how do you do how do you do bitch And son is like you're acting very fancy. I like to be down to earth I like to be down to earth you being fancy and more like well sorry

Sorry, okay listen with Sonia. I have to bring myself down to be how she is okay But my other friends have to elevate myself, okay? So what does she want me to do? And from the chandelier? I think actually that's exactly what Sonya wants you to do. Yeah, she's like already found you a sepladder. And by the way, it's probably not even hangable from a bowl. It probably just falls down.

That'll believe this house. So then Ramona's like, Tins, Leah, you twink gum and he's like, too slow. Yeah. Hey, bubble, you twink gumb and he's like, she's so, hey, hey, hey, hey, bubble, you twink gumb. She's like, no, and then she's like, Leah did something that no other new housewife

has really done, which is that she risked her life for Ramona's approval. She swallowed her gum. And she's like, I swallowed her gum. I just saw those bulging eyes and was like, I just saw the nuns. I had to swallow it. Yeah.

Um, so she goes outside with Tinsley and she's like, I just want to go on the pool and drown myself, okay? Like, what the hell? So then Sonia is talking to the rich people and she's like, we have a new friend, this Leah girl. I mean, I think she's classy. It's just she doesn't look very. That's. That's when he was here is like, like in three different directions, like her brush

strap is dangling out, you know, she's a beauty, but she's just a little rough on the edges. And I'm saying she has a tattoo. So then, uh, Tinsley is talking to some guy Joe. She's talking to Oh, there's a girl. Oh, she's talking to Joel. Yeah, yeah, she's talking to that guy. So he's like, Oh, yeah, you know, I've got to move because 10 years is just too long for me to live in the house. So she goes, Oh, yeah, I'm assuming. Oh, and then we're all like, well, excuse me, excuse me, Tinsley, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. And she starts to like takes Joel away. And then God, because Tennessee's like grossed out, you know.

And he's like, uh, she says, I'd love to do fireplaces. Whoa, so classy. How do you do? And he's like, I'd let those bows for you, baby. She's like, she's like, whoa, my quarter. First of mirror, then a fireplace. What next? Doors? I can't believe this fancy house. By the way, I looked up this guy. His name is Joe Farrell, and I was Joe. It is Joe, but I was hoping that I was going to find like the first thing, like, here's the real deal about him. thing like here's the real deal about him. He's terrible, but it's just all about Ramona. So sorry everyone, no good scoop. My scoop is that there's no scoop. I looked into the

ice pig and it turns out it was just a nice cube. So Lee is like gross. Okay, I mean the guy has a nice house, but he basically men have women flirting and falling all over them when they're short and have no hair and that's the world we fuckin' live in. Yeah, I loved Leo's stink face when she met Joe. Like, Tim's like, this is Joe and she's like, hmm, she didn't even say hi. She's just like, you are the people that tried to destroy me.

Okay, that's what she's looking, that's what her face says. That's how their face says. This is like your trash. Yeah. And so Louis, I was like, oh, it's so hard to drink. Especially when everyone here is drinking, and such a stiff party, not a sequin of Giovanni and sorry.

Oh, I thought Leo was gonna be my sober companion, but it turns out I'm just in this odd my own, just me and the spiders. So then Ramona's like give us a tour, okay? And what does Sonia say? She's like, I've been here a few times too. On my back. I didn't even hear it. I'm just something like that. Well, they go, so they go downstairs. So downstairs has, it's like the big playroom, right? That's like there's a bowling alley and barn, TVs and it's like I'm it's like a it's like a casino or something like that and so I'm just like oh my god look at this and she tells Joe oh my gosh you're so hot right now I like him agenda pants

he goes the house made me hotter, right? Yeah, I mean, I might be just blinded by your veneers, but yeah, the house definitely made you hotter. Yeah. So during it comes down and she's with Lee, she's like, you work. I like you ring hash. It's tacky. It's very American. Yeah, it's the drunk lady in glitter. Like, yeah, some, you know, says the lady who has opened up her house to a reality show like six years in a row, practically. So the lady who literally organized a trip to a house to tour last season, I made so near spiral.

Yeah, good point. But that being said, I kind of agree with her. I know what she was ultimately, I actually know what she was saying and I agree with her. I mean, I never really thought about too much, but like when presented, I was like, it is kind of tacky, actually, especially this dude with his tacky ass mansion, this like 39 million dollar mansion, that's like has no personality. And as this ridiculous downstairs area that is just made for breeding spoiled off-ill children who will wind up like

terrorizing their boarding schools. Yeah so Durin makes some I'll talk with Joel and she's like you know I like the whip-w theft. I've extanced white hats. So I'll be singing then. And Lohan's like, oh my god, are you guys bowling? I love bowling, anything to distract me from the spiders. Am I right? Okay, just pretend there's 10 dangling spiders at the end of that alley. Shrug! During the sex, since I lived in London for 10 years, with mini-chicin, I'm very sensitive to American things

In London they don't show you the polling alley and every Lou in the place Hi, I'm just thinking about ice breaks again. Sorry. What were we talking about? Also during the just did a tour of her house for architectural digest. Did you know she's a Matt? No, but you know what? No, I mean, I think what she's saying is it's like it's one thing to open up your house for a magazine or for whatever like and some sort of like for a cultural or like, in some sort of like, for a cultural exploit. But when you just have like a douche bag, a short douche bag, just walking people around and like pointing at an ATM that says,

welcome to your pleasure palace and saying things like, hey, when was the last time you saw a house with this? Am I right? Am I right? Like, you're just gross. And not even about that it says, well, it's come to pleasure palace. Like, I don't want to go to someone's house and they say,

now when was the last time you saw someone with a house like that, okay? And like, how about you watch patty lapones videos and get an old-timey jukebox and a turban then we'll be impressed Yeah So Sun you say Ramona goes okay girls 10,000 square feet gotta keep walking and Sunday goes oh So that's where we are now measuring and beat It's where you've always been and beat. It's very, very, very unfortunate. Like, you just didn't realize. So then we see there's Joel.

Joel has made like, now I'm saying Joel, like he's saying Joel. Joe has made like a half pipe. Trick, yeah. Yeah, I know. There's like this room. I mean, this is a room that might as well just be called like spoiled brat room.

Like, just to make the most awful, awful, like, this is, this is where this is, is this is the incubator for white kids who will then be using the n word on Twitter is this room, right? It's just like there's a half pipe and then there's like a world class DJ booth right above the half pipe with speakers that go all over the house, sick, right? Oh, good. Terrible. So then Elise comes over, Oh, good. So then Elise comes over, right? Or we get that part? Ramona's on old swing chair wooing.

She's swimming on a chair. Elise is sexy. Elise is that dark hair lady comes over and kisses Sonia. Hello. And Dorenda tells us, Elise is being a man. This group of girls for a long time.

She was made to do a hedge-front guy or something. Just running around like we all were girls just making it happen in New York living sisters are doing it for their hedge funds. So then then we go back to Ramona and now she's in like a spa which is I approve of this room but there's basically like a hot tub, it's just, whoa, whoa, so be me, I'll be here and be like, Sorge, hot tub, Sorge, hot tub.

If you ever wanna keep me captive, no, just dropping a suggestion, this will be a prism, okay? Spa, hot tub, spa, hot tub, okay? It seems like you want me to keep you captive So then back with the other girl son who's like so Elise did your husband like always make you buy clothes And she's like no he asked me to buy investments Yeah, she's like I'm not a big shopper. I was more into investments

She goes, oh well my husband would just force me to buy clothes And I would just get so embarrassed and at least it's like well you were basically his accessory And she's like don't say that don't say that. Why would you say that? I was not an accessory. I was a partner You know me why was why are you saying that? Yeah, and she's like oh please Sonia. I remember those days. I'm like, I know you. I'm a boss bitch. Sonia, okay, you know, you're doing this and you need to do this. She is, no, you need to quit, quit, quit, quit. Take it back, take it back. And Ramona at this point is now like continuing on the tour with Joe and they like go back in this like play pen room.

And Ramona is like, okay, please take me upstairs. Please take me upstairs. There's nothing to see here. There's nothing to see here, okay? Nothing to see here. Can we go faster? Can we go faster? I don't know these people, okay?

I'm sorry. And then cut back, Elise is like, well, I know, I'm just saying that I knew you when you brought men to their knees, okay? And I was in the sun just screaming, I was never a trophy wife. Take it back. And she goes, okay, I take it back. And so on your point, the thing goes, was never a trophy wife, take it back. And she goes, okay, I take it back. And so on your point to Tim's thing, because she was a trophy wife.

It was just so perfect and hilarious. So, and Tim's like, what the hell are you talking about? Stop drinking, Sonia. And she tells us, I met her for a boarding school. We were the same age. She met her husband when he was, she tells us I met to over at boarding school. We were the same age She met her husband when he was she was a hostess in some restaurant. He was like a hundred years old That is the definition of trophy wine and she's right and like and so because when Timzys said we were always cool Sweethearts Sonia goes well, that's because it was early years early years

Like it was like a early years of being trophy wife. And suddenly, I'm not armed candy. I don't even shave my pussy. I don't. Oh my god. Oh my god. So do you have any? Yeah, do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you

have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you have any do you But I don't think it only should be talking about being, you know, being in a accessory or man, right?

Because there's no one's business, you guys judgment. And on what role we play in our husband, who are partners, life's fit. You're like, yeah. No sense of when. Yeah, exactly. Listen, you know, just because you see two icebergs floating on through the water together And once in iceberg or maybe once in ice flow. I don't know. I'm not gonna pass judgment Hey, anybody had dessert. Tinsy will get on the back for some

Hey, I'm not gonna pass judgment though. I'm not gonna pass judgment So then Luana is telling Leah. She's like well if anyone had told me I'd be staying at Ramona's house I wouldn't believe it. I left my gorgeous home to go see in a room that smells like piss and this filter spider You see what I do for you guys you see what I St. Luann does for you guys. I, I mean, it's incredible, really. And there's also a fridge with tons of booze down there. Don't think I didn't notice. And also, and also the bed.

The bed frame has very sharp edges and you have to be careful getting around that. And I'm not always the most nimble person, but I get around it for you guys, for you guys. So then people are trying to get some food in Sonia basically in the kitchen. And she's like, oh, fine, Ramona, just sit with your friends, your rich friends with timed bracelets. Go ahead, sit with stupid face over there. Hi, no offense, your face is stupid ugly.

They're like, Sonia. They're like, so, Sonia. And she's like, you know what, I'm just sick and tired of Ramona treating us like chicken liver. And when I was like, whoa, it's chuffed liver, not chicken liver, that's me saying that okay? Whatever, I don't want to be anyone's patay, if you know what I'm saying. You know what Somia acts like this?

It's really not a big mystery, she's not invited to certain events, it's all saying okay? Sorry, okay? mystery, she's not invited to certain events, it's all saying okay, sorry. Yeah, it's true. And so I'm just like, I got more money in the bank than any of them, you know, and then she just turned, looks, there's like a young kid at the table, like 20s and he, and she goes, Hey, this guy, I think he wants to have sex with me. And she, we're gonna say, how old are you and she goes you know what he doesn't care you know you don't even care that we're friends with rich people remona and

Lee is like oh my god watching Sonya I fucked this guy is the best part of the whole night and the guy goes you need a drink and she goes I just need to see a drive his license ever good to go and then drink J-Jogos just in. Oh, this is glue like Joe's son. Men love my vagina. I got an amazing vagina. Also a great twist or oven too. God check it out. Mom's like, Hey girls, just was monologuing about spiders and cat piss

has everything going with you. So he's like, how's your pussy? And she goes, let me check. Well, it's still there girls still there Listeau the show Listeau the show So Lewis like I think it's time to go and the kids like no, no, don't go Justin Justin you get back down to your half pipe and enjoy it This is your house dad. We are playing for the cameras.

So the dragging Sonya out of this house was so funny and half of them are shit faced by the way. Yes. Sonya is just the worst. I have to drag her out of here. So good. And Lee is like, oh my god, not only is she entertaining, but she's so embarrassing we had to leave love her? She's like she was great. Everyone goes, hey the party's over. She's the party's not over. You're over So then some other she's like trying to get on some guy, right? Yeah, and he's trying to get away from her And she's like hey, he's like who are you? And she goes who are you? And he says it doesn't matter. You're very gorgeous. She goes, you are.

He goes, you're gorgeous. And he turns away. And he's like, thanks. He turns away. And he looks to the camera like, oh my god. And also, by the way, I don't know if you heard it when she goes, who are you? Then she rubs her belly up on his belly.

And she goes, belly to belly. Who are we? She's like, it's like, belly to belly. are we? She like it's like belly to belly speak to the belly So he's like oh my god help me help me get me out of here This is embarrassing and I just called a woman who's not my wife gorgeous. I'm in so much trouble. Please get me out of here Uh, he's married so near. He has a baby. Oh, who doesn't you does it? Say drag her out of there. And they open the turns around. Wait, go ahead.

I was just going to say they open the door and there's like this gust of wind because Luana opened the door and there's a gust of wind. Oh my god. The wind. The wind. I just love how overdramatic she is about every single thing. Then they turn around. They're trying to get Sony out.

So they finally start getting out the door and trying to turn to around and tell someone, stay there. You stay there. So he goes, you're getting between me and my vagina. Stop it. Stop it. And they're like, come on, go into the wind. The wind.

Oh, there's so much wind. I could have been home. Oh, the wind. So they like in the car. And then we just hear Sonya just her voice much wind I could have been home. Oh, the wind So they like in the car and then we just hear Sonya just her voice going I could have fucked that guy So then the next morning during the ghost to Ramonos room she's like Yeah, I can't we've got a problem Louis is left and she's written a pillie and he can kill takes really He's really I can feel and she's like I you know, I saw up, car pulled out,

and I saw last night someone stole my car. What the, what are you gonna do? Yeah, I thought someone stole my car. You know, it's very dangerous. I thought someone came up and just stole my car on the middle of the night. Whoa, and then they were trying to this morning, which is very nice to them.

You know, criminals in the Hamptons are really class X. So, so, I was like, okay, read it. Saw, read it slowly slowly and softly, okay? So, in an episode of Great Monologues, here's the Wands, Monolog, Beataxe. Well, thank you for your hospitality, Rabona, exclamation point. This is not the fishroom part two.

I live in the town you drive to every day because it's the best, and it's an, and I have an amazing home home and I come to you and what do I get? Share the bathroom with someone I don't even know or basement filled with spiders and Smilio dog piss. I'm shocked that I'm all with the lowest on the totem bowl and I Say that as someone who has some Native American heritage. Good night from the lower level She goes I think she's sad all this is she could go home and during this like, he was like, just saying, I don't want to be down there. I feel lonely. Something.

And during the reminds us of the issues that Louanne always has with the rooms. Yes, which means we get a montage of the way and be like, I mean, here I am. I just got married three weeks ago and you put me in the basement in the basement oh god so then Ramona calls her but gets voicemail and during this like be careful what you say let's see you regret it right for daily voicemail I don't have a rank for that I like I speak straight ahead. Hey, it's Ramona. I hope you got home safe, okay? But most importantly, I'm sorry you felt isolated. You only did that because we don't really like you, okay?

I'm sorry I wasn't being more aware of how you feel. I just don't really care, okay? And I was more concerned with superficial things, like having fun and being with people that I'd like. And I made you feel separate from everyone, and I'm sorry for that, okay? I never meant to make you feel low on the bottom, just because you're there doesn't mean you have to feel that way Okay, so you know you're on the totem puller whatever. I don't know how you say it low on the bottom

I don't know how to use my words just reminds this one time. It's a little girl I was like I want to be with all the fun people in this woman Jody process me said no little girl. You can't be with other people You got to sit in a dirt pile and make moon pies, okay? So to this day, I don't know how to be with other people. So what you're seeing right now is my trauma. Mommy, Mommy, help me, help me, Mommy, Mommy. Okay.

Sorry. Okay. So then Sonya's reading the email to the other girl. It's so funny. You proclaimed you love me, but I know it's not true. Good night from the other girls. It's so funny. You proclaimed, you love me, but I know it's not true. Good night from the lower level. Good night. We just cracking up.

Like Leo's loving all of this. So they all go downstairs to check out this basement and it's amazing. They're like, what the hell is wrong with her? So then the phone rings, everyone is like, shhh, hello? The wean?

It's like, to be continued next week let's divide bread in the chicken is a vibe bread in the chicken to your liza to your liza wow wow I mean this show is just it's just phenomenal it's phenomenal it's just one of the best things on TV it's so good well Well, thanks guys for being here for this crap is on demand and this recap, et cetera. We'll see you in a few more hours for our big live show for Real House House of Beverly Hills.

If you don't know how to watch it, go to patreon.com and I'll just watch what crap ends and sign up on the crap is on demand level, five dollar level. Hi, watch out for spiders because it's gonna be a fun night. I went to pre-shows at 6 o'clock on IG live. Bye guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins' ad free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus

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