Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Not Feelin' Jovani

Episode Date: July 13, 2019

Part 1 of the "Real Housewives of New York" reunion is fiery as usual, with Dorinda and Luann hashing out a year's worth of fighting on Andy Cohen's stage. It looks like the two will finally be able to move forward... until next week. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And... Mina, Kuchikuchi Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which is a cartoon on YouTube. It's basically a parody of Real House Us New York. Kai, and joining me is the wonderful and hilarious and multi-talented podcaster himself, the co-host of Rose Pricks, a bachelor-rose podcast. It's none other than Ronnie Carrum,

who is broadcasting live from the Regency in New York City. Well, how, Ben? How are you? Good. It's a video day, and you know, I love my new green screen, so I'm gonna be at the Regency today. I was trying to find the New York set online, and I could not find it.

Come on, Braval. Come on. I did. Give me some backgrounds. The Regency looks great. You actually look like you're there. So for anyone who wants to see this vision of Ronnie at the Regency, it's a crap and it's on demand. That's a Patreon.

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last thing that we're going to show today of course is merch tell us about it rondle well we have three new shirts up it crap and smurts dot com guys we've got a resting honey eye. Wait, what is it? Resting honey face for Hannah from Ballotek Med and we've got a season one cameo shirt. Love that. Get in touch with your season one cameo and we've also got demoted to friend of an honor of Miss Vicki Gumbelston. You know, someone should profit off her demise damn it. So go over there and get your shirts.

Also, we kept the team leave LVP shirt up just because you know, she's going through a hard time. So why not support us? Yes, exactly so today we are talking real housewise of New York reunion followed by the crap in mailbag Always exciting. I'm still sad that the season is like already over and we're in the reunion phase I felt like there were like three or four more episodes that we should have gotten But I'll take what we can get and This week's episode this reunion the whole reunion Chebang starts off the usual thing the women are in makeup and Andy Cohen is like checking in on them Hey, what's going on? in on them. Hey, what's going on? You know, hey, Curly got Curly here today during the Vats Nats. I mean, I mean, the Hatsy to Lens, you're here. I mean, the Hatsy, I didn't do

nothing wrong this year. Yeah. I mean, you're anything wrong. And let me tell you something, I'm gonna come out there and I'm gonna win this claim. I was like, no, this isn't Judge Judy. Oh, where are we hey for cheat candy I have for cheese like no this doesn't Ross okay she's a little bit more she's just dry she literally brought her receipts you know I believe that she has a bag of receipts like how Rinna has her

pill bag I believe that to Rinda totally has a bag of like TJ Maxx home goods totally cheese shop receipts jeez shop I only have to chef range and leave wasn't good I'm gonna go I'm gonna be back or in love to have to chef and you guys know I'm gonna tell the wind and you know that Derinda is not only does she have a receipt bag she's probably a receipt bag prostitutizer you know that she's like you know what you guys do you gotta take your seats just made it a bag then we always have it and that way if you ever need to take something back

It's just right there. Don't have to look for it. It's very easy. I know this Hannah. That's the advice you gave Hannah before she left the house. You're seeing this a lot of bad people out there in the world They can explain hurt you by not letting you with her and think so he's gonna keep back She's like I thought I thought you were gonna give me a stun gun. What the hell is this? She's still mad at basilarmine that he has song called Sontan lotion. No, it's not about suntan lotion. What you need is receipt bags. That's what you need to be saying. When you graduate from this high school, just remember receipt bags.

Durin does honorary Harvard degree that she's gonna get for her work on this show. Oh, she deserves it honestly. I would give her a doctorate. So then he goes into see Bethany and he's like, so you're kind of in a good place. I guess with everybody. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, look handy before the game starts. Because Bethany is like really in the sport zone every time she comes to the scene. She's like, all right, all right, all right, coming around the corner, coming around the corner,

coming around the corner, Bethany. Bethany's out of rough here this year. A lot of things happen. A lot of things happen to Bethany this year. Yep, she's coming around. She's been in court all week. Alloyah says luck can happen in court and a lot can happen in reunions and wins.

One, one. Really second is, does Judy have to rule? Doug Lou Ellen, she's like, Doug Lou Ellen taught me all Doug Lou Ellen she's like right Doug Lou Ellen taught me that Doug Lou Ellen taught me you know that reunion is more of a bitch since that's Judy So now now the woman come out to stage and Ramona just gives us a gift right out the bat She trips on her step because whoa whoa whoa whoa you know what actually I actually I'm gonna need some help here Okay, I need someone to get me up the one step someone help me I need to walk up the one step. I don't know how to do this Someone help me get up the step and then after your dunk

Could you go to my dressing room and please unpack all of my shoes. Thank you today. I know this really gives me a lot of respect From the seminal 90 sitcoms to vice-debt. It turns out that really is a lot harder than you would think. Kay. Okay, so here we are, Ramona trips. Whoa, that's going down on the Hall of Fame for favorite things that have ever happened on Real House Las Vegas. Whoa.

So then Ramona, Bethany is wearing, Bethany of course, Duranda of course is the first on stage and Bethany is of course the last on stage So Bethany comes on and this like I would call it like an Ivanka Trump goes to the UN for lunch Dress like this glitter tight dress and then Romanticus whoa you got a little clear patch of think going and Bethany just looks at her like what does that even mean? Well, do I look like I'm from Egypt like like what's going on like you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I wish you were a stink so I could knock your nose off right now, okay? It'll be this. And the best thing is like seriously did you bring your purse on? Yes, seriously, what do you need your purse for? Why'd you bring your purse? And so he's like, well, I'm gonna put it behind my chair, but I wanted to have it because I need the tape for my neck. You're just trying to like, you're taping your face? And then he goes, yeah, that's what all the old brads did back in the day. Yeah, we're just gonna be keeping an eye out for masking tape,

just to be tumbling out of her, like back around her neck on her ears for the rest of the weekend. Yeah, Sonia has always been on a very slow ride to Patsy from absolutely fabulous, and she's officially getting there. I mean, Sonia, you've come back with her B-Hive of Ona Trump hair next year, and just make it a little bit more.

Love it. You know, I actually really loved Bethany's dress. I thought it was like very cool Tinsley also amused me because she was wearing something that was very pretty But it also looked like she had like taken an oversized first place ribbon from the county fair and just like put it on a She's like well, maybe I'll like win this reunion if I already have the ribbon power positive thinking Yeah, I liked everybody's even even Sony's you know, Sony's getting a lot of shit for her, but I like it I like so yes, so it means because it was so in the by Sony Morgan for only a hundred five dollars Yes for five for five wasn't four hundred dollars. Is that what you said? No, I thought was a hundred and five dollars Oh a hundred and five dollars Wasn't $400? Is that what you said? No, I thought it was $105. Oh, $105.

Yeah, I mean, it's like, it just tripped on the stage. Well, she really dresses for less. I think the $400 figure came in because, well, basically, Andy is like, Dorenda, so what are you wearing? She's like, don't say it. Don't say it. She's like, Giovanni. She's like, it's the last thing she wants to hear.

I know Duranda hates Giovanni now. She's like, she won't even say how to Giovanni in part. She only hates it because she was one who said Giovanni and that should have been like her thing and like, you know, like clip, clip, like it should have been her t-shirt, but LeWan made it her thing instead. So that's why she hates it.

And she doesn't have anything to make her own because she's going to that carol showroom. You know that Carol tried to take someone to you and that LeW I'm like, well, you know, I want a free dress I'm like not even Michelle Obama get the free dress or whatever that whole thing was about and we even get to see a clip of it But during this like I'm wearing Michelle Obama You actually go there a few years ago Remember and then we see the clip Yeah, well you're not going to list your room any time soon.

Louis, you can keep your 400s at least dresses today. It was like, damn. Take back your dress. Take back your cabaret. Are you singing anything goes? No. No, guys and the wall. What is that?

That's guys and dolls. Hey, back, you mean. Don't make take back, yes? The problem is I don't remember the rest. I'm in a very musical mood today. I was telling Ronnie beforehand that I have theme song to dear John in my head. And it's really like informing every decision I make about the words I say. Something just I just wanted to be in a Broadway place today, I guess.

Even though Geo Jon is not Broadway. Geo Jon, my de-sian, Geo Jon, my de-sian. The time you read these lines, you'll be gone. Only two or three nights a week, Sammy. So then, yeah, then Andy's like, close, Luan. So Luan, you weren't here last year, okay? So you and her tonight's reunion with a lot of emotions surrounding you, all right?

Yeah. Y'all just watched the first, the last episode. So, you know, it has your head, it has your head doing, Luan. I'm so good. My head, Andy, my head is, my head is humble, Andy, because I was self-absorbed and I own that. Yeah the same way I own a million dollar home that's round and I own the fact that I'm touring the

country and to hear a lot of the little girls and thank you. I'm humbled. You know it takes lots of humble this head because apparently it's a pumpkin head according to Carol Radseville wherever she is now. But I'm humbled. I'm humbled to bring the art of Cabaretu, countenance, millions of children across the world. I believe the children are the Cabaret, sing them well, and let them sing the songs. Can you repeat that? What? Humble? That's crazy. Everyone here that I don't believe it. By the way, Luann during this portion of the reunion is doing a lot of really loud. Well, she's facing Dharinaa, who's just fucking terrifying. You know, it's really funny how Dorenda can be so sweet

and lovable. Dorenda's personality is like a drunk hug, you know, which is a good hug, generally they're good. But she's also a terrifying human being, man. It must suck to have Dorenda going against you. Yeah, but Dorenda is also probably, like, I think she's the one that I feel like emotionally, most accessible to because

there's something so relatable about how her anger can like segue into hurt and then back into anger and then like, happiness, like, I feel like it is that it's actually such a real thing and watching her like tumble through these emotions all at once is like, I don't know. Like I feel like I just understand her so well, you know? That's why I love Dorenda.

Well I do too, but I'm a drunk. So, so then, Luann's like, yes, you know, was a rough season for me, Andy. Listen, it's hard to be around you guys in that drink. I don't think you understand that. I think that's probably also the realest thing that Lewand has ever said. That's their all-shot. I can't believe Lewand just quoted my mother.

It was like the craziest thing ever. I was like, my mother's finally made it. Went over quits, made it on TV. You know, and they all like surprised to hear Lewand say that. But I mean, like, do you guys remember how you all acted in Miami? Okay. Like, yeah, Lewand's a monster, but she's's also in recovery and you guys are drunk and screaming and being just absolutely crazy I mean it is a minor miracle. She didn't fall off the wagon again, you know, yeah So We got it to insulate next she's like I'm good

It's like so you came out with a line of flashes. Freg! Now your eggs, she's having them. Your eggs came out really beautiful. She's like, my eggs! Oh! My eggs! My eggs!

Oh! My eggs! Oh! And then Ramona is wearing blue. Like, a Ramona wearing blue, and then it's like a thing because it's like, whoa, it's a deeper blue than Ramona blue than normal, okay? And Andy calls the dash check, ah, that's a deeper blue, that's not a deeper blue than Ramona, okay? That's like deep blue seat, okay, I expect a shark to jump out of it, okay?

So Andy is like, so Ramona, something's different about you, what is that? Which of course he knows, he knows the answers to half this question, by the way, because he and Bethany are like gossiping, like, you know, like texting back and forth for the past three months. So Ramona is like, well, you have to tell everyone. Why do you have to tell everyone? Andy Cohn? And basically she's like, okay, fine, I'll tell everyone. So I had these really bad cavities in front, and I needed needed the nearest I think it's because one time I had some

Tequila but I was in a short glass of a tall glass of red lime. So I think really gave me cavities So basically I have a new a new teeth. I'm busy. I'm a top and a bottom So Andy's like well, you know, I was just thinking of this when you came in Bethany. This is just crazy Last time the reunions Dennis was here. It's like a for crying out later We're gonna leave with this could you give Bethany five minutes to like smile on the good and her avant-dress Yeah, I'm not a dress Mother and daughter Yes, yeah, yeah, he came to last week. No, he loved it. He loved the minutia

He liked he liked getting involved in everything and you know He really loved it and Andy is like were you thinking about Dennis today? I mean Andy She thinks about that she thinks about Dennis. She sees a red light. She thinks about Dennis Okay, and I'm not not even making fun of that like she's going through morning Hey, like were you thinking about her today when he's come from the bathroom? Reunions, I mean, what do you think of course she starts to cry? Yeah, so she starts crying I'm like yeah, yeah, he loves them a new shot. Like he's always on my mind like when we know sometimes You know, it's like the little things he says he would always say little things like the sun cannot be done

Put your keys in the bowl Wait, not what not you know we signed To throw a value meal. So uh, see you guys soon. No parking. No parking. No parking. That was one of his favorites.

No parking. He loved that. He loved telling me why I could park in that park. No parking. You park I tell. You park I tell. You park I tell. You park I tell.

That was actually mine. I made that one up. I've actually told a lot of cars just for the fun of it. You pranked that, too. That was actually mine. I made that one up. I've actually told a lot of cars just for the fun of it. Okay. So, so now we get a segment. We sort of jump into a segment about like how half the women moved into new apartments

and homes. So we get a big long segment. We got to say Laurie for a second. I thought we'd actually have a little bit more time to talk about Laurie on the reunion, but they didn't really get into it. But she comes up and during this like, there she is, there she is. There she is. There she is, Maxia. When time I did my banks with sperm, they look crazy. Things something about Mary. God bless, Maxia. I love her. It's wondering what that was about. Now I get it. And so then we get a clip of everybody moving because everybody, you know,

got salary cuts this year. So everybody moved. And um, Sonia's, we get a clip of Lew and her roundhouse. And Sonia's like, this is where all the cool people live. The chic, the scree ones. Yeah. I'm surprised I didn't show an image of Sonia putting up towels on the windows of her new apartment. I know that was the best part. I know, but maybe that'll be safe for like the Sonia segment, the proper Sonia segment. So when we come out of the clip package,

Andy asks Luanne's reaction to Ramona saying that Kingston is a poor town. And then he's like, oh well, that's just what Ramona does. I mean, do you remember in Marrakech, which is not the Plaza Hotel, it is Morocco. And then we just see this clip of Ramona that I just 100% had forgotten about her being like, whoa, look, there's a poor person. Whoa, there's a goat. Whoa, this is the poor town. Ho, ho, ho, he's sleeping out of the soil because he's poor. He, there's a bear portal town. Ho, ho, ho, he's- he's- he's sleeping outside because he's po- he sleeps next to a goat.

Ho, ho, ho, ho. Look at that donkey. He's on the wrong side of the road. You're on the wrong side of the road, donkey! Oh, I'd love to have her have like a travel channel. She could pick up- she could pick up at like where- where Anthony Bourdain's show left off. Like, she could take the reins now and just go to different places. Whoa, what a country. Okay, you know what? Thank you for serving me this delicacy, but what I believe right now is just a stick.

Okay, I don't want to have your caviar. Well, actually, I would like to have your caviar. I don't want this caviar though. Okay, because not America. Yeah, it's just for money traveling all the world, calling every place gross. Yeah, gross. Not even this special. Gross just Ramona traveling all the world, calling every place gross. Yeah, it wasn't, not even this special, gross. Poor people if you are disgusting, don't travel here, okay? Why do I ever want to come back to India? Okay?

I don't understand anything. Like, what, they won't let me say at the Taj Mahal, so what's even the point being here? Well, I would go to India. They're like, uh, I don't even like my music, okay? I'm like, no, that's India. Yeah, Ramona. That's India. Still. Hello. This is Countess Luendez.

I'm going to kill you all, but not before this ad. Would you believe it girls? We have an ad. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, some days, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So asking Ramona about like, you know, to defend her comments about Kingston New York. It's a very important, important topic. Everyone goes, actually, my friend is in real estate and he's like not even going to look at Kingston for another 10 or 15 years

So I guess the way it's just head of the curve, okay? I decided to get a house in a very dangerous crummy neighborhood, okay? Listen if the way I'm still alive in 15 years it was a good choice, okay? What do you want me saying Andy? I just hope she doesn't get gangrene up there because I get a lot of exposed nails on the rope because it's so porn downtrodden, okay? Hey Mandy, it's like, yeah, and Tinsley said it would drive her to drink if she lived there and Tinsley's like, yeah, Dene, but Tinsley's like, that's not a far trip,

that's not a far trip, anything I'll make her drink. Show Tinsley, don't talk. No one's talking to Tinsley, all right? He had Tinsley, he has a glove, put your lashes on and talk to it, make it into a puppet. Okay.

Someone bring in who doesn't eggs, He has a glove, put your lashes on and talk to him. Make it into a puppet. Okay. Mm. Mm. Someone bring in who does an egg to sit tinsley has something to be preoccupied with because seriously, I don't want to hear a dog. Okay. So, um, that's what you just keep shooting tinsley down this entire, every time tinsley opens her mouth, that's like, shut up.

We're quiet. So now Andy, so now they're quiet, you know, one of the things they talked about, the way I talked about in the clip clip package is that she moved to Kingston because She had no privacy in Sagarber and there was like photographers in the bushes So clearly Andy and Bethany have been texting about this, you know They've had conversations where it's like this. What is she talking about? It's crazy So Andy turns the Beth and he goes so do you have the same problems in the Hampton that Lou has?

Which is totally a setup for Bethany, right? Yes, and she answers in the most Bethany way of her. She's like, and I want to say positive. I want to be constructive. So I'm just going to say, but nobody has her picture in the paper. I've never seen pictures of you. OK, I get the papers.

OK, you're not in any of the pictures. Guess who doesn't have problems? Signed out. Billy Joel. Billy Elliott. All right, Betty Crocker. OK, do you ever see her? No. No one's hiding in the bushes for Betty Crocker.

No one's hiding in the bushes for you, Louan. All right. But then, you know, also what Bethany, like does not include in that is that Jerry Seinfeld and Billy Joel and Howard Stern and Steven Spielberg and all these celebrities have giant estates with security, okay? Like they have giant gates and fences, okay?

Luann had that very adorable house. It was right on the street. And Luann does have delusions of grandeur, but she basically was like, well, there were photos of me going to get the mail. I was in a yellow dress, I remember very well, because it's before my Javadides. Oh yeah, yeah. Madonna doesn't have a problem there, but you know, she's my neighbor and you know, I've talked to her over the fence. I was like Wilson.

What was the guy's name from home? I'm just imagining Madonna being on the other side of that these fence. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Madonna. I know I can't see your face, but can it like is anyone taking pictures of you? Madonna's like, no, please, look, one, one, one chord on the guitar that she learned in the 80s. We are living in a photography world and I am a photography girl. Yeah, Madonna's like, I'll tell you one thing. Rain, it's coming.

It's coming True blue baby, I love you are those carnations that you're growing disgusting Remember well from respect carnations But I'll do your respect let out your respect the way in okay, you know I was the child and like every time a boat passed you thought there was a photographer on there taking pictures of you It's like that's like, that's true. That's true. That's true. I did think that.

I did. Yes, I did think that there were photographers. I stand corrected. There were videographers taking video of me. The world's greatest cabaret star. They love my music. By the way, I love Bethany's way of like just spreading the way and is to brag that Madonna is her neighbor,

right? Yeah. Of course you would do that. So how is Sonia's townhouse? It's rented. For even more money now, it turns out, moldy basements get you even more. How is the world is she getting more money after this show has aired and she's like well It rained all over the electrics and the baseboards were all moldy and it smells and I'm getting $6,000 more a month, Andy And I believe it's now currently haunted by a former general of the civil war Not the American Civil War the Spanish what it's very exciting I'll tell you what's a war on civility.

Madonna! I wouldn't want to hurt my neighbor. I'll tell you that much. Like a virgin, more like a bitch. Hahaha. Hahaha. So then- I cherish the days that I don't have to live next to that.

BI. Mm-hmm. Uh, so then Andy's like, so, Dorenda, you move to each other. Yeah, he's in a certain place. I know everybody. You know, that's just so Dorenda. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's really medley from TV,

Sri Lanka, and New York, Dilly. And currently, Hello, Robics, so on tour, Clutch, America. Have you heard about receipt bags? Let me tell you something about them. You know how to get down from the T-Shirt to take a return on Chevrolet? You know what I got when I thought it was a Chevrolet card which would get me a lot of discounts on Chevrolet. Turns out it's actually a Chevrolet business card so it doesn't do anything for me.

It's actually a chevrolet business card. So it doesn't do anything for me It's a chef on cut. I think John go fill up my Sainsame question chevron with Tecron is that like a type of cheese? Tecron I dated him I dated him. Yeah, I actually took a bunch of chevron with Tecron Just like port it on the basement I was like this look at her to the mold anyway. Don't lie to match down there for the next few years So Andy's like wow, so Durinda that apartment is just for you. How does this house is doing for your relationships? Seems to have in check the giant as like that, that literally made no one feel better during that. Okay, I know. I know.

Yeah, so during this like, well, I see him two or three times a week and Ramona chimes and goes, whoa, it kind of adds excitement. Okay, like you don't see each other that for a day makes a little more fresh, you know, or at least as fresh as John's sweaty body can be. Okay. At least that's fresh, John's sweaty body can be okay Sweaty baby powder. Whoa So he's like in Anne Ramona. You finally sold your place like well, I accepted offer But I'm just waiting for it to come through okay I had to learn with the price because like I looked at my friends who had all moved on and I was like

What am I gonna keep my price the same like is it gonna change my lifestyle? No, am I still gonna look like I'm three years old? Yes, switch is did it indeed like any stem cell would salt my apartment okay? I fell in love with San Pedro. Are we still ragging on Madonna? So, uh, so then yeah, so during this like-O, they look what? What did you just say? That was all beat bad. Like, do you sure you want to give your address out on National TV?

Which is cool. Broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, which it'll probably be on National's, it'll be on the box. It'll be on the box. We know where everybody lives now. Thanks to Zillow. Thanks a lot, Zillow.

How many people have you gotten killed? Yeah. Yeah. So now, after a commercial, it's time for the Dennis segment, which of course is extremely sad. And it's basically five minutes of watching a montage of Bethany rightfully so losing her shit over the course of the entire season. And you know, just the shit that she was going through

and the grieving in the morning, and then she meets a guy, and then she almost dies of the fish soup. You know, it's just basically like the ongoing trials and tribulations deserve at least so of Bethany Frankel. Yeah, so I'm scrolling through. Like, I'm sure Andy will bring up Dennis 30 more times, okay? We can scroll through, scroll through, okay. So then we get to some tough questions

that people have been asking all year. Like, were you really engaged? What the fuck, Bethany? Where are you saying you're engaged to Dennis and started wearing this ring or whatever? And she's like, well, you know, I didn't consider it engaged. I just said, you know what, I'll take the ring, okay? Because I really like the ring.

But, you know, it's like a movie. It's like a movie. Like, here I am, a girl standing in a butt shop. Give me your fucking ring. That thing's expensive. I'll take it ring. Okay, cuz I really like the ring But you know, it's like a movie. It's like a movie like here. I am a girl standing in a butt shop Give me your fucking ring that things expensive. I'll take it But I'm not gonna marry you asshole alright Hugh Jackman alright stop stop getting in cars with with hookers How about that? I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy next to Madonna I'm just a girl talking over her fence saying Madonna could you stop parking my driveway? All right, you park I tell

You park I tell you park I tell okay You know that song deeper and deeper okay guess what it's about the death that shows me for towing your car I Can't help telling a car I get deeper and deeper in debt from Madonna And and he's like well, Jorinda is the most amazing friend ever who guided Bethany through and it's like I don't know about you. And he's like, well, you know, you thought she needed to, anyway, to rent us like, we have one person sport, you know, and it was really nice, you know, and then the next segment is Andy.

I know, Andy goes, so the way. Andy. Andy. Andy Andy goes to the man Andy Andy The news is coming to CBS this fall Andy with like Andy moves in to a house He's got to be like the dead mother to a bunch of crap boys

Guys you have to clean up Did you have another party? Was that hosting watch or happens live? Five nights a week. Guys, I have a baby. The story of a gay man with a baby who also has to take care of some freckles. Who's the real baby here? So Andy's like, so Lewand, what do you think about Dennis? Did Dennis passing make you think about yourself?

Probably passing soon too. How did that feel? Lewand, you know what I'm saying? no, it didn't make me think about myself. I didn't know him well, but he was very helpful. Bethany's like, and you were happy. All right, you were happy. You were happy that he was helpful. Yes, I was Bethany. That's the thing. I thought the world of Dennis, uh, I have a tale to tell. Click, click. You see? That's all Madonna needed. For me to sing whatever song. So if someone behind that pushover there, take my picture. Oh look, they think I'm Madonna. Easy to mistake us, I guess.

And it's like, well, how was he helpful? I can like, how can I talk about that, Andy? Because I'm still in it. So how do I say, how do I say this commercial? And then when we come back to look, how do I say this? All right, he got a powerful lawyer, one of the most powerful in the country. He found out stuff about a case like no one even knew. No one even knew about it. You know how, like most people would go to jail

for murder if Matt Locke wasn't there? That was basically this guy. He was like, Matt Locke in a decent suit. All right, Andy? I I mean remember that show with Called the practice with Cameron Mannheim. She yeah, he actually got the Cameron Mannheim. I actually Cameron Mannheim on my team It was amazing and then I was I didn't have a band in court to sing my plea So he also hired Cameron. He also hired manheim steamroller to come in and play for me.

featuring Edgar Winters and we had just an amazing time. I said not guilty. Hey not guilty. Try that one on Madonna. manhamen manhamen manhamen square. Man, man, I'm square We're going to M2 M2 Lou I'm too em Lou for you We'll be going on tour our opener would be Madonna, but I guess she's too busy getting her car back from Bethany So sick, oh, and don't forget the money don't forget the money and he's like, yeah So you asked him for $6 million. What the fuck?

And she's like, well, look, I asked for Bethany to ask him to help. Okay, look, it's what he does. Bethany, you explain it. You explain it, Bethany. He's like, all right, all right. He has a financial services company, you know, but like, look, I was in the car with Brad,

we're on a highway. Yeah, were you buying a house? Shut up Ramona, all right? Shut up, because no much of to buy houses on harvets Okay, friend. I'll be real estate told me to discuss So you're buying a house on 52 31 park Avenue 33 was that what is that what you would think it of? It's like yeah, my phone's blown up so I had to pull over on the highway with bread and Jason's like taking notes pulled over on the highway with my daughter

Well, it was the Hampton's highway so it wasn't a real highway. Oh, yeah, I know that's where you live right. I'm amazing about these things So then she's like yeah, she was manic she was manic and she was she was manic and I was like true Just true. I mean how could you not be mad at when you love Cabaret? I mean, listen, have you ever just gotten high and said, I want to buy that mansion, give me $6 million. It's pretty normal, actually. Sit down, man, ha, my goodness, Jack.

Well, that was the end of M2 when I asked Cameron Manheim for a few bucks. I mean, $6 million. Well, she can't give me that. She's an Emmy winner for crying out loud. So then Andy's like, she can't give me that. She's an Emmy winner for crying out loud. So then Andy's like, okay, Bethany. So we're using the hot catering guy and this new guy from Boston in between Dennis.

Like how does that timeline work out? You know what Andy? That's a very good question. Oh, Bethany. Yeah. It was, it was, it was, it was basically intermittent, all right. It was like, it was like intermittent fasting Uh, but for dating alright. It was intermittent dating like you date one guy for sixteen hours and another guy for the eight hours And you know, I lost weight basically just wanted to try to say

Yeah, you know I dated Russ for a little bit, but I like I don't know. He's like really hot and I don't know And I'm crazy and then like I so then I met Paul and then like I you know I was really needy with Paul and I was like okay, I need you to be my wife right now. I mean, I need to be the wife. We have to get married. Basically, do you know how to talk to us? Okay, great. So we should get married.

And then he was like, I don't wanna do anything with you anymore. But then I have to dinner side, he came back into my life and he was like, oh, yeah, you're like famous and rich. So now we're dating. So it's great. Okay.

And basically, she's like, yeah, you know, dating all those guys. It was a hard pill for Dennis to swallow and I was like, oh All right, so in the midst of grieving you got hot and heavy with your current girl your current boyfriend and She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I remember tensley, you know, I really like him He could be the one, you know, but I wasn't ready. I Was ready. I was I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, customer service at AT&T. And I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love a man with a sense of humor. And he said, no, I really am here to call you about your plan. And I said, what's my plan?

What about your plan with Bethany? He said, well, we have some great rates on new cell phone plans. And I said, you know what, you have to sell yourself on? It's Bethany, because she's a life partner. It was a wonderful conversation. Yeah. Shut up, Ramona.

Seriously. Hey, Tinsley, put some lashes on Ramona's mouth, okay? Oh, okay. Get some necklaces on that, ADD, all right? So the next question is, Tinsley, don't you think it's rich? The Bethany says, you're an asshole for not bringing Scott on camera when she refuses to bring her boyfriend on camera Then Bethany's like, God, I do this was coming up. I'm like, yeah, I wonder how I was ready judge Judy. Okay. I've got my dossier here right here Okay, so like the difference is that like Tinsley met Scott on TV and I met Scott while on TV

But I'm Paul on I was on TV, but he was not on TV So that's different here. Dintis is like so what? What is that? I'll be doing anything It's like well, you know, yeah, I hear it's a difference. Alright, like I thought about this argument with us All right, like it seems like a double standard like I see how it seems like that You know because I won't bring my boyfriend on but I say you should bring your boyfriend on but come on Not only did you meet him on TV and not only did he sign a release to be on TV, like, uh, he also sent you those flowers, like the secretary out of flowers. Like, who does that?

Like, who does that? Like, who does that? Even my neighbor, Madonna doesn't do that. Do you get my name? Listen, if Madonna sends flowers to somebody, if Madonna sends somebody, the secretary out of flowers, she's going to be on the show. I'm just saying that right now. All right.

Bethany Don't preach. I'm in trouble deep. Bethany Don't preach. I'm in trouble deep. Bethany Don't preach. Which by the way, this argument is totally bogus. You're a fucking hypocrite, Bethany. OK, come on. On this one, me. I'm going to give half hypocrite.

I do think that she is, yes, theoretically, hypocritical. I do think that there is something about, like, listen. I met him off camera. He never wanted to be part of it whatever as versus like this is the guy who was like willing to be on camera It then something's like no, I don't want to be on camera But I will do like a commercial with like you tinsley and Carol so like I can actually sort of get Bethany's logic Although Andy does Andy does get her which is basically like so if tinsley asks you to call up Paul on the phone on camera Would you do it and she's like?

Uh, well, you know, I like it wouldn't be speakerphone and I would call him by hand I let him know and then like I would what I would do is I would call him and then just like throw my phone out the window And I wouldn't be my fault And this is like but the thing is I wanted scar to be on the show I'm wanting to be on the show. I wanted it too. And about to say, you know what Andy, she just interrupts, Tinsley.

She's just, Tinsley wouldn't even ask me that. Shout it down. And then Tinsley's like, I'm like, I asked one thing. And this is how we union. And she, not only that, Tinsley is in spot number two on the couch. So, so that good or not, meaning that they know, well, the rank, meaning that like the rank of importance are whoever is sitting next to Andy is like the most important and most central to the drama, then whoever's on the on the outside has the least amount

of stuff happening. So she, so Tinsley's actually central, but I guess she'll probably have a big, a big like moment. By the way, Ronnie, your vape smoke ruined the Regency for a second. You have to be careful. I was on camera, okay? No, but the smoke came on and it ruined the green screen effect. You have to be careful. I know you can only see the person who's talking

at the same time. Just saying so no one saw that. You just ruined the illusion for everyone. So thanks for ruining my life. Did. Hey. So anyway, so Bethany, what's going on with your company? You're like okay, you know what? Like I was gonna I was gonna sell the company

But then like I like like it's a guy close. I got really nervous. So instead of selling it I just laid off a bunch of people okay, I just laid off everyone okay I still have what's the matter what's happening what's going on and also what you're talking about But I think I had to like of what's your name? What's your name? I'd like to go over It's a work adding yeah, so I said you know what Madonna. I'm not gonna sell this to you. All right I'm keeping it. I'm keeping it. I see potential and he's like so Dennis is supposed to be nice Why was he trying to drag you out of life or whatever? It's like you know what? I was on a stretcher and I swear on everything he was pulling me which is very him

You know it's very him to see me to picture with someone looking happy and then him being a lot plus go on a trip Let's go on a trip to heaven. All right. Yeah, there's a great horn player up there. Come on. Come on Let's go and then he's like well, do you have any guilt for being with Paul so soon? And she's like uh, no You know, and I thought of the optics of that and I love I just love that Bethany is the mayor of everything in her mind You know Like yeah, I thought of the optics, but you know It is what it is like he wanted to make sure it's not transference, you know like it You know like I wanted to bang that kind of Fisher Steven's guy like I was like you're not leaving the house

Dr. Fisher Steven's right. I'm gonna bang you by the way He was also on Boston Boston market or whatever that show is with the man. I've girl Yeah, you know, you know that show it like it's a show. It's of an interactive show You actually walk into the show and you order like food, you know? You start arguing with mac and cheese. You're not gonna have to ask us. Bust a market. So then, but he's like, you know what?

I'm on a happy, I had to get off the ride and I'm on a happier ride now. And you know what? I think Tinsley, that's why I was like yelling at you because I was like projecting onto Tinsley because I could see that she was on another ride and it was basically a train to nowhere, respectfully. You're respectfully, basically Tinsley's life is in a one way direction it's going down a toilet, okay?

Like, you know, if it's in a plunger, like tensley's like the bottom of a plunger, you stick it in and the plunged plunges and you just get sent down the pipe, okay, that's what's happening, tensley, respectfully. Yeah, chances on one of those rides, she's like on that ride, it's a small world that Disney land, it's like the dumbest ride ever and you're like what do they have an office ceiling in this ride like this is the worst ride ever and you're going through it and you're like you know I guess it's entertaining at one time but it's like no longer entertaining and it should just all be burnt to the ground respectfully. Yeah yeah yeah yeah you have a you have to go on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride that that

that sort of like what tins his life is it's like you're on this old old car and you're driving along and suddenly next to you know you're like sent down to hell and you don't even know why I don't even know who Mr. Toad is like what is Mr. Toad like and why am I on this ride and why is he such a bad driver and like that's sort of like the trajectory of of Tinsley's life respectfully respectfully So Andy's like well as summer standoff led to malice that even the Tyler Perry quote couldn't calm down with years of history healthy these two men their fences? Or would they be sleeping with the fish?

It was like how many metaphors are you gonna mix here? Just spit it out for Christ's sake, okay? You don't have to talk like a genie in a bottle. Just fucking spit it out, dude. So we get like an extended segment of Luanne and D'Aurinda and they're up and down in the situation this, this past season starting with them feuding at the start of the season and Durinda and they're up and down situation this this past season starting with them Feuding at the start of the season and the and the clam bake and then they and then

Sort of a resolution and Luan going to the Berkshires and being like a diva and then there's like an apology But then Luan also like tries to do this Giovanni thing and Durinda's like I see ain't even lawyers. And then the whole segment ends with Louanne at our Christmas show, saying like that jingle bells thing, where she, in the end everyone goes, Zivani, Giovanni, Giovanni. So we come out of the segment and Durinda goes, well, thank God I gave her that. I mean, it's half the show.

I mean, you show us a combination of dresses and taking the piss out of your carousel mates. I'm like, that's a great advertisement for it if you ask me. Yeah, I know Caming why the hell would anybody want to go to it otherwise, okay? And you deserve everything you're getting ma'am. I still really like Dorenda, but she gets really fucking nasty. Well, I love, like I said before, I love Dorenda, but her inability to still admit in a few moments that like, she's not heckling. And what bothers, what's always sort of bothered me

was that Dorenda was so good to lose. She really was by her side. Everything she says is true, but it was like Luan made one small thing. You know what, one small comment, oh, she's turning. And Dorenda just like came at Luan, like she hit below the belt

and she came with like daggers out. So even if Luann is being haughty, the punishment did not fit the crime. And I don't think that D'Arynda ever has acknowledged like how she was wrong in that moment. And that I think is the core of all of this fight. Well yeah, I definitely started it, but then Luann got over that and totally forgave it.

And then the next thing was like Which we get into a little bit later so she's like and he's like do you feel unappreciated? She's like Well, you know, I'm He's been elegant so which we have a second time and the one's like what does that have to do with anything? Why are you bringing that up? She's like, well, she felt like you were exploiting Giovanni. She's like, well, she started it. By heckling me in the audience. How are we all for getting that? Which is true. I mean, that whole thing came because Dorenda made it famous by heckling her, which she still wanted to admit doing. Yeah, and the thing is this, if Dorenda had acknowledged that she was heckling, she would have actually been the one to like she couldn't claim

Giovanni because to claim it is to acknowledge that you were heckling, right? So because you never acknowledged it, Luanne got to claim it and now Durinda is mad that it's like not her thing to claim, right? Yeah, and so Durinda's like you wouldn't even have as rest with the one for me. You will have nothing to wear You'd be naked if you weren't for me. Oh my god. She's Christ. I was there for you constantly the first time you went to jail. I was like the first Tars. What do you mean the first time? We're in Milan in 1996. I mean I've only been to jail wants Listen, I've been to jail wants in the Poke three times. I get it straight Doreen

And by Poke I mean that delicious Japanese bowl of fish You know the kind that Madonna doesn't like to eat. Huh? Also stopped at Poke Jo's one time in Austin delicious By the way, I created a new dance called the Hoki-Poki in honor of Poki. It's great! How did you take that from me? You checked my favorite dance and you pissed on it! You love a Poki! Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal Lililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililil imply that she went to jail more than once and the way he goes you make me feel like shit because that's what you do Dorin you just love it. I love when Luan just started talking like she's out of dynasty. So Andy is like well Luan why was getting a phone call from Dorinda so important

to you brought that up a lot she's like well she was in the Hamptons. We're all lived. And she didn't reach out or text me nothing. And she's like, yeah, you want to be a kissy reek. And you ain't a kissy reeky reeky reeky reeky. Now, of course not. I just was busy because there were all those photographers and the bushes. I had my broom out swatting them all away. I was like, go to Madonna's house. She's the one who needs some attention, right? Right? Um, and he's like, well, you said you didn't need a trigger. How was Dorenda a trigger? And she's like, well, she didn't reach out, which is exactly what guns do, Andy. They don't reach out. Case closed, Cameron. Man, I'm singing, honey. Reach out and touch someone. That's for you, AT&T. Whoa, that's where Paul works. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know what I realized last year at the reunion, Luann wasn't here because she fell off the horse and was trying to

Trying to buy a mansion in Kingston and also sleeping with her agent and her kids were suing her so she wasn't here So you guys never really got to hash it out in this totally Destructive unhelpful forum. I think that's the problem. Yeah, and the whole lot of that energy coming in, right? And the coming, you better listen up. This woman does nothing but ignore me. I'm retouching you everything I can. I've been lovable backwards. Listening to the first grade I was giving two gifts. I was giving a prayer cause and a flask. And she took my prayer card and he's coming Well you come to hands you don't even call me. What's that? I was taking the high road. No, it's called the highway and Bethany lives on it

It's called property value going down you can take Bethany fronkel for that okay trust me I'm a me even so Andy is like well by the way to be fair it was Bethany who said that to renda shouldn't be at the clan Baker wasn't the when and then to renda's like I don't care you know what you've been not not nice to a lot of us and we have moved on And we've been nice and to be honest with you. I don't feel like you have any substance anymore. Substance abuse, correct? I don't do that at all. Your whole life has been one big cabaret with the countless and so you keep going back to that. I really hate that you keep saying the name cabaret with the countess. Countess countess countess cabaret tickets anywhere from 25 to $5,000 available at ticketmaster.com to read the- please stop saying the name of my show.

Cabaret with the countess, please stop! Listen, you're not the old duet. I am, I'm the same old Lou. I mean every day I walk through the hand and the people go who's that girl Like Louie Ann Puccaneetus, Coco Ritesus, who's that girl? Where's that party? It's on Lou Ann's Cabaret. Where's that party? And Ami is like so when you watch the show How did you feel about Dorenda being so upset about the demise of your friendship and Lou Ann's like?

I was upset Andy, of course. I was very, very hurt. I was so upset and was like, you were everything. He said, well, it was hard for me to warm up. You know, I'm just not fed and shipped to Rida. I wanted to get it back. And Andy's like, so let's talk about Tyler Perry. It's Tyler Perry. Is Tyler Perry not capable of a deep thought?

And the way goes, of course he is, of course. Of course Tyler Perry is. I mean, I don't know how deep your thoughts could be if you don't even live in the Hamptons and don't have photographers in your bushes. But you can, I guess, have a somewhat deep thought. Yeah, Andy, who's gonna argue Tyler Perry is a poet? Okay, he made movies called Big Mom's House. Of course, of course we're the greatest poet

Lord of all to all, Andy. Yes, and Dermondy goes, I can do no right in your mind, the way I'm, because she's like upset that Lewand as Lewand sort of like disregarded Dermondy's Tyler Perry quote shows, you know, you decided that, I can never do right by you, that's why I sit by you like a soldier you like a soldier Like a soldier to these reunions. Oh, yeah, you're really nice during but you've been really nice to Leigh-Anthorough

out there's reunions during them Jesus and the one's like yes, well you were a soldier and then you let me down Yeah, you were like a soldier who's unreliable and unreliable soldier Yeah, it's all I have who's unreliable soldier. Yeah, it's all I have. Yeah, there's a song in there somewhere, but... I'm gonna wait for Ben to get back from vacation and work that one out. We're thinking about your G'dani Osman soldier of love parody. I'm a soldier of love. I got a song for you.

I gave you my break-out. I gave you my prayer card. I gave you my prayer card. And the first grade. When I see the Rinda, it's like a little prayer card. I'm down on my knees saying, what the fuck is this card? She's like, well, how do you think I felt? Being haggled and Rinda is a gayish engine. That's lovely.

I love, I love your life. Like I just kind of mad at my apartment with me. And I did just kind of kind of mad. Okay, never mind, let's hug. See, this is where LeWand always messes up. Because when Durinda talks about the prayer card, it's like actually like very, you know, she's like, this is a prayer card, I got it in my first communion.

I carried it through everything including Richard's death. And I gave it to you with all my heart. And LeWand's response should not have been, and you heckled me. I carried it through everything including Richard's death and I gave it to you with all my heart and Luanne's response should not have been and you heckled me it should have been like I Appreciate that and I truly truly do and it's not like like like like tea up before you get to the heckling I don't know I was like I agree with you, but Durinda with that heckling thing happened after Durinda Dressed her down in in the Bahamas to her. Jorinda just doesn't want to remember anything. It's like she totally turned on Luan and that what they were in the Bahamas right. So where they were. They were no they were in Cardacena.

But I think but like I mean if I if it were me the way I would have said is like you know what when you gave me that prayer card that was so beautiful and I treasure it and I still treasure it despite everything that happened. However it does not take away from the fact that you were saying that you were saying that you were so loyal to me and that I make one comment and you came at me in the meanest possible way. And then on top of that, you then were like heckling me at my show. It made me call into question, how sincere you actually were. That's all you have.

That's all the way it has to say, but when she says, but you heckled me, it makes it seem very much like, but what about me? It's like it's not quite right. Yeah. So then, Luans, then it became a... Luan goes and treated me like an animal. Okay, come on, the way I was heckling. Well, during the day, it's a year in animal.

During the season. So it's like you treated me like an, you literally called me an animal. That was very. Oh yeah. So you treated me like a nut. You literally called me an animal. That wasn't very nice. That's not nice at all. So then she's like, you pissed I love it so much. Well, I love it.

And Luanne is like, listen. You don't remember to render, but I have the text. And to be like, oh really? I have the text, it's too. You said, buy a ticket. Then you said. And Luanne's like, oh, the answer all look it up and since Carol Radsville is not here please let's remember casual Carol Radsville in the spirit of these readers I'll bring on these readers and let me just look at my purse oh look at

some of my Countess Luanne merchandise so look at that big big big shot of my face on this bag right here that That was actually statement readers. Yeah. So while Luanne's getting her bag out, Wesley from Burbank, Wesley from Burbank, you know, you are you live close to us and I think I want to meet you Wesley because this question was so shady and hilarious. He goes, the Cambridge dictionary defines the word heckle as to interrupt the performer with loud, unfriendly statements or questions, why did you keep denying that you did that when it's so clear that you did? Whenever you bring up like a dictionary definition

a question, that's just great shit. And so Durand is like, well, oh, sorry, I was at the wrong question. I was like, that answer makes no sense. So Durand is like, well, look, is this what she said? Yeah, she said, no, she said, listen, I was neckling. I, you know, like, you know, Luann was up there and she asked the crowd

if we liked it, if we liked it, she asked, and I just said, oh yeah, Giovanni. Yeah, we just think the name of the di- I just think, yeah, it was exactly. And she thinks, Giovanni, like this, Giovanni. Yeah, I was just saying his name was a- I just didn't know. I was exactly. I was just saying Giovanni, like this. Giovanni! Giovanni, I actually- Giovanni, I actually-

Fuck you bitch. She does it again. And they show us this clip of when this happened, when she was heckling. And remember, Dorenda came, like, she was sloshed to hell. And her eyes were bleached, and they were so mean. And she had on that really thick eyeliner. She just looked evil as hell.

It never gets old because they always had the same thing. They always show people like happy in the eye. She's going, Javani, a people cheering and Luan cheering and everyone happy. And then it always just cuts the door into like, like giving this horror face. And then they always cut the Ramona afterwards looking at the door render like holy shit.

Yeah. And the ones like, I can't believe you still don't own this. And the render's like, yeah, no, no, no, you can't think. It's a big time to leave no book, I yay. And then by the way, everyone at the reunion's like, I mean, come on, Duranda, you're a heckling. You can admit it, it's fine. And she's like, no, I was supporting a brand.

It ain't really liked. And I love that this all stems from a fat Jewish fight. That's the best part. I didn't know that. That this was the fat Jewish table. And, uh, by the way, for those who are not clear, Ronnie is not saying fat Jewish as in descriptors, like, oh, it's a fat Jewish fight. It was pertaining to the internet star, the fat Jewish. Yeah. If I had said fat Lebanese, I would have been typing my LinkedIn, okay? I'm not shaming anybody.

So she's like, yeah, well, I have the text to say it. And then Andy's like, give me the text. Let me just read the text, okay? Let me just read it. So he starts reading them off. And they're both wrong, which is so funny. Like when you bring text evidence and both of you have completely read it wrong. Yeah. You're loony too. Yeah. So basically Andy's reading Blue Anne's phone and

Durinda had texted Luanne being, oh, so the fact Jewish gets a table but not Jan and the wind responds, hi, I'm at a mammogram. John is always welcome. You only had to ask, not sure the status. So, okay, that was like, so she is saying, yeah, John is always welcome, which is fine. You only had to ask, is a little passive aggressive, though. Not sure the status, I actually got that because she's like, it's the day of the show, I'm doing a mammogram.

Like, I don't know how many comps are left or whatever, you know, like, you figured out it's basically what she's saying. Yeah. And she's like, what do you have to remember? I was very nervous. I mean, that was the day of my show. It wasn't the week before my show. It wasn't three days before my show.

It was the day of my show. And I'm getting a mammogram. Yeah. So then Dorenda wrote back saying, okay, I, I just you know John found out through a third party And now he's mad he doesn't even want to come anymore and the way answer response was love you not my problem It's my big night break a leg would have been a better message. You should have asked sooner if you wanted them there Which I'm just fine having an all girls night and by the way, I still have two breasts so the results are in okay Fine, and he's like yes, she didn't say by a ticket.

So, yeah, this was the day of my show and Andy goes, yeah, but come on, Lewand, it's so biz. Okay. And we're all in show biz here. Look, I do a show with Anderson Cooper and I'll get texts all day during this time. Well, no, I actually thought that Andy was in a weird way to... I thought he was actually in supporting her, which is like, it'll be the day of and then all of a sudden everyone checks her and everyone wants a ticket. supporting her, which is like, it'll be the day of, and then all of a sudden,

everyone checks her, everyone wants a ticket. And like, you know, it is tricky. I mean, we actually have, we actually understand a little bit. Like, there'll be times, it'll be like a random friend. I'll be like, oh, can I come to your show tonight? And I'll be like, I'll see if I can get a ticket, you know, it's not, you actually can't just always,

like, they're actually just like, certain number of seats and fire codes. So I actually, like like in a weird way I actually understood what the way I was saying but she was being very fresh and I think that like I think but I think part of it Was that like when Dorenda says well John is mad Luana is already instead of saying her response should have been like oh, I'm so sorry I'll see what I can do you know this is a misunderstanding She's already she can already sense that Dorenda is gonna start a fight. So she's like, you know what, it's not my problem.

And you should have like asked sooner instead of like waiting for the last minute. But it's not nice. It's not, I understand what was going through Luann's head. So I understand it, but I don't think, I don't think it was as nasty as it was intended, but I don't think as Bethany was said, she wasn't thinking of the optics

and it was not a nice way to respond. And Bethany said, oh come on, it's not like hosting the Academy Awards. Fucking cabaret, can you bring it? Yeah, exactly. I was nervous, it was my cabaret, it was my Academy Awards. The Academy Awards of the WAN.

Yeah, and so Andy's like, well, what about when you went to Durandas House and you made all those requests? Like for the massage therapist and the yoga person? I mean, were you just being a diva and trying to make during the makeup to make it up to you and kiss your butt? And she's like, well, I mean, I can see why people would think that, but I can also see why people would think that I have a perfect body. I do because of yoga and massage. Thank you, countis and friends. Well, as we, I mean, it wasn't a crazy request. I mean, we often have yoga.

I mean, everywhere I go, there's often yoga. People provide it for me. That's just what happens when you're a star with photographers in your bushes. You get free yoga. You haven't lived until you have a yoga class when your yoga teacher pulls out a camera and starts doing you in a down talk.

All right, Auntie. Listen, Durinda, she was very gracious. She was a very gracious, gracious hostess, considering it's Durinda. and she has lots of problems Okay, she was very very gracious She like look I know my reaction was terrible But I was just trying to keep my shit together at that point and I know I feel very bad about it And Beth's like oh, no you weren't because then later that night we were talking and you were like relishing in it

You were relishing in it and you were like yeah in it, and you were like, yeah, you just wanted to hurt a bent down, a kiss to your ass. And then I fucking bathed in me, Jesus. Suddenly I was like, well, you want to know how I felt? I felt cold about it. I'm like, well, what does that mean? Cold, you know, Frio as they say in Spain. I felt like a Frio Frittata. That's a cold Frittata in Spain. I felt Chile. That's how they say Chile and Chile, but it's also how we say cold in America. Thank you, Andy. Listen, I felt bad because it was almost like I just walked in there and I told her, and I want you to justify my love for you as a friend. And that was wrong that was wrong so I saw that watch and I I was like what I can't cry I can't show emotion can I only show emotion when I'm singing lousy mannelli songs poorly on a stage sitting on a backwards chair I don't know

let's try it everybody 3 2 1 hit it Maybe this time, I won't be cold. Here, I want to give you a hug, because I'm not feeling cold, I'm defrosted. I feel the frosted and warm. She gets something, gives Durinda a hug, and this is so Durinda, and this is the Durinda I love. It's like, fuck you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you guys. Don't let her. You screwed all this. I love you. It's always best. You're the best. It's not like we're the 80s. I was angry.

I was confused. You know, the person for 30 and you for 13 years. You know, we used to sit in the left or else it's off to each other, prayer cards. You know, yeah. Let's miss you, girl. Ain't it cute? Like what?

So now it's all over. And she's like, all right, well, there, settled and she's like, we well there settled and she's like we never can Talk about it again promise my parents And I have to say you know in defensive the wind who's my best friend that we've never had a fight before I had to say that About the purchase I think you would nervous. I think you would nerve-dop and I think you know He was almost like you were looking for a way to get out of it You know that you know what I'm saying like a loophole, you know, I'm saying we're best friends again

I love her and you know what you come into the big cheese club with brave you know It's what I've always said about my friend Louie and baby me and Nothing got Beth me like the peanut gallery. She's just like all right, you know what Lou? What you said right now That was very human well that well that very You know that across that very human that was sincere that was like when Ramona said I had a hard night when I got allergies Yeah, I was like it's So then Andy's like, wow, I love a reconciliation. Now I don't wanna go backwards, but I'm like, what, we just got them to hug. I felt like this tension was like, finally,

this thing was like, lifted off of us, our shoulders, and Andy's like, so, how about that cap re-award that you did, Lewin? What'd you think about that, Surrender? So I was trying to wait and about things like shift and narrative shift narrative octave Optics optics shift the narrative shift the narrative. So I guess shift to whatever that's me talking about Okay, I was just trying to make it funny and and he goes did you really call a lawyer Durinda? She's like I did Yeah, I did and I said how can I get the cheese guy to take her seats?

You know? Have you ever tried to sit put a legal invoice inside of her seat bag? It's very hard, but if you fold, you can do it. You can only fold seven times, though. You do not do more than seven fold on a piece of paper. Hey, can you listen here, Camry Manhan? I'm getting my mulli back to this cheese. And she ate the other half of the leg! Yeah, so, uh, so Dorenda's like, you know what, I'm so over this to Giovanni thing.

I'm like over it. And Andy's like, well, guess what? DJ, hit the wands, newest track. Feelin' Giovanni. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh. Feelin' Giovanni. Aw, Quart. And then, and Lerwans just sitting there mabbing all the words and she is like singing a long dancing in her

Louder, he needs to be loud and he's be very loud loud louder And that's when I can grad that was fun. That was really fun congrats congrats, okay? That was really seriously. That was really fun. And Dorenda is like, that's catchy. I love his song, they love his song. I can test to him. Yeah, Dorenda is like trying to be nice, but you could see she's like annoyed. But I also Dorenda at this point,

like, Japan isn't really not about you. It really isn't about Dorenda anymore. But Lui-An's like, you know, I was just saying to my agent the other day, that's what we have when you're a star in Cabaret, you have a caparet agent. I said, a caparet agent. A caparet agent. Getting on stage for me feels so good. It's diversion for me that I really really need right now because I'm not drinking.

Okay, the only thing I'm drinking is caparet and I don't know what I do without it. Right? My right ladies. Support me. What am I drinking? A cleft it, right? My right, ladies. Support me. What am I drinking? A clef scale, okay? That's it. So, thank you, Caperee, for everything you've done for me. And he's like, well, it's great to see you two in a better place. And she's like, yes, you only think in a year. God, I love your music.

Hey, play something else, alright? Play another Louis and tongue. This is fun. He's needily-wee-wee-wee. Well, here's my new song. It's called Clip, be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be We're gonna laugh the rest of the night. They, I think Andy says that, right? Hopefully this will last a long time and hopefully the rest of the night and it's like, boop, come me up next. You're thanking bitch. Classic. What a show, what a great reunion guys.

What a great part one. I know, I'd love this show. So let's go pivot over to the crap and smell bag. Oh, how's it might be time to change up the crap and smell bag music, right? I think it might be time. So everyone, the crap and smell bag is if you go on, if you're supported on Patreon, you can write in questions and comments and we'll read them on the air. It's super fun.

So this week, let's see, who should we do? Well, here's one, from Alexandra Light, who says, Hi Ben and Ronnie, long time listener, first time male bagger. Well, welcome, Alexandra. Hi Alexandra. She has two questions. Okay, we'll let you do two questions.

She says, do you think you will ever come to a show in London from being in various watch crappings groups? I know you have a lot of European fans. Number two, so many Bravilebodies actually listen to the show, many of whom you discuss each week. Does this creep into your conscious at all when you are recapping? I know you try hard not to let it influence you, but it must a tiny bit. So first and foremost, London, I mean, you never know. I mean, that certainly would be super fun. I think we, I think,

I will send out a like a survey at some point, be like, if you're in London, like, who, we need just to figure out who lives there. And like, we don't want to fly halfway across the world and have like 10 people show up, you know? We'd love to go to London, and we'd also love to go to Australia. We've got a lot of really fun listeners in Australia. And so I would love to do that. We just need to kind of get off our butts and do it. Yeah, we have this, for the crappies,

we have this survey and monkey subscription, so we can do surveys. And I'll do one where we'll ask about, we're gonna ask about Vegas again, because there's another follow-up question I've got to ask that we didn't ask in the last one. Lots about Vegas, New Orleans, London, and Australia. So keep an eye out for that,

because it's really important for us to get this data because, you know, for us to get to these places, like especially like Australia, you know, it's not, it's not, it's no like, you know, cheap flight over there, you know? So, you know, it's an investment of time and energy, okay? So, but, personally, I would love an excuse to go to London and to reenact many pivotal scenes from Ladies the London. Oh, yeah.

Um, number two about the Braval Everties, who listens to the show, Ronnie, does it creep into your consciousness at all when you're in the cabin? Yes, it does. Well, I still shit talk like a madman, but yeah, it's still it does creep in there and I feel kind of guilty after but I feel you know, we tell everybody I'm especially really good at telling everybody that we meet the first time we meet them, especially if we're getting along and having a fun night and like drinking and stuff. I always say listen, it's great to meet you and we work alone at home just with each other and It's really great to make work friends, you know, like who kind of are in our realm or what I and it's great But I'm always gonna shit talk you and I'll probably be even meaner now because now I'm gonna have like that

trying to make up for knowing you or whatever and I kind of do get that way. I feel like I've gotten that way with Rina. I'm really mean to Rina I And I kind of do get that way. I feel like I've gotten that way with Rina. I'm really mean to Rina I feel like for me, I mean it does affect me. I can't act like I'm just like You know made of stone and I don't I don't think about that It does affect things, but I think also the you know it also provides a challenge, right? I think in a really good way, because it's like, how, you know, if I do have these shady thoughts,

how can I be shady in a way that's not trolling? It's really important for me, actually, that, that, like, I'm not trying to ever troll anyone. I don't think you are either. We're not trying to be like too nasty to ask. No, no, I am. I am. Oh, okay. Sometimes, yeah, sometimes I am.

I mean, yeah, I mean, look, listen, I'm acting like I'm like, I'm like I'm not trying to troll anyone and you then tune into me like ranting about who knows what but But that's truly not my goal my goal I don't want someone to ever listen and just have like really hurt feelings. I really don't What I want to do is like express what I feel when I watch the show And and try to be funny about it and I think like when I know that someone's listening, it's not so much that I pull punches, but I'm like, how can I do still land this punch in a way that's like clever and funny

and that they all said that way, it's ultimately a roast, right? And there is a fine line between roasting and trolling. And I'm not saying that I'm always on the right side of that line, but I think that's like, I think it's really important, you know that that like I want that person if they hear it, they're like, oh god, that's mean, but it's also so true and I can't help but laugh. That's what I hope that people hear.

And I think all it does, I think when knowing that certain people are listening, it just forces me to try to up my game and try to be more creative than just saying fuck her. Like my least favorite thing is when I'm trying to like make a joke and it just comes out. The only thing I can think about that moment is like fuck her. Like that's like not creative or interesting, you know. So yeah. That's how it affects me. Okay, what else is in there being? Well, Dash Cat. Dash Cat says, hey, Jens, if you could have your own coast over, or have your coast over for a home cooked meal and could make anything within your capabilities, what would

you make him? The catch is that you can't consult with each other and you have to choose a top chef contestant, past or present, as your suit chef. Oh, okay. I'm predicting a lot of Inaigarten and biscuits. So Ronnie, what would you make for me? And I'll tell what I would make for you. Well, you know, you just said it biscuits because those are tried and true. I know how to make those really well.

And probably just biscuits or maybe I'd make a lot of tortillas because I'm a killer flower tortilla maker as well. And then I could let you make stuff to put in it. Um, and my sous chef would be that surly girl from tap shaft. She didn't win this fucking season did she? She was like second place. Yeah. Some shit like that. Sarah God damn it. You know, I would have her do it. Yeah. I think for me, you know, it's interesting. I don't know what I would necessarily make for you because I feel like the, I feel like the foods that you seem to like the most are also the foods that you are really well versed in and like, you know, like, text max, Lebanese, et cetera. And I feel like if I were to make something in Lebanese or text max, it just like, ultimately,

like, it's not like you would, not that you would do it better. It's not like that, a competitive thing, but it's more like, oh, this is your jam. So I don't wanna like do my, like, it's like, oh, this is your jam. So I don't want to do my, it's like, oh, this was, that was nice, Ben. So I don't know. I think I would, for you, I probably would consult Inaigarten and just make something that looks really good and something that's tried and true. Well, I hope if you consult Inaigarten, you make some homemade pasta because I saw her

making that and I really want it now. Okay, I'll make you a pasta. I'll make you, do you like Penny Oliveodka? Oh yes, I love Penny. I'll like anything. Penny's my favorite. Well, Rigatoni's my favorite. And Penny is like my favorite Rigatoni's little sister. But I would have to make a vegetarian, which is, oh, I know what I would make for you. So there's this cookbook I have called Backpocket Pasta by Kho-Lu Henry. It's really good. Every pasta dish I've made out of it has been amazing. And one of the dishes sort of reimagines like the tried-in-true

butternut squash or pumpkin ravioli in like a sage brown butter sauce. It's very like, you see that in a lot of Italian restaurants. And it reimagines that as a pasta bake. So essentially you make the pasta and then you toss it with crimf-fresh and ricotta and then you make this brown butter with sage and you pour all over it and you include either pumpkin or butter nut squash and you bake the whole thing. And it is just the most amazing thing. It's like you eat it and you're like, I cannot believe this is a real thing. So I'm making that for you, Ronnie.

My God, I'm internet and fast, internet and fasting. We shouldn't be talking about food. I'm on my keto thing again. So this is not gonna help me. We're so gay right now, both being on diets. I'm a guy, I'm on keel, I'm internet and fasting. I'm on, oh, no. Oh.

Look at the gayest. The gayest. Well, let's close up this mailbag and get to that I just do that music because people on the video don't hear the music that's playing. Oh, that's helpful. That's good Anyway, you guys Thanks for listening to us this week and have a wonderful weekend. Yeah, thanks for being here. Go get your Atlanta tickets, go get all your tickets,

you've got many shows, get shirts, and also if you wanna see this video recap, it is on our Patreon. So just go to Crappens on to Band-Up Patreon and you'll have access to the videos. Thank you everybody, have a great weekend this weekend. Okay, bye everyone. Bye.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. 1dry.com slash survey.