Watch What Crappens - RHONY, Part 1: The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Cheese

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

The Real Housewives of New York (S14E01) makes its triumphant return with a brand new slate of women, including J. Crew BOSS BITCH Jenna Lyons. The first fight is about cheese; so that's encouraging.Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/86251196See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What happens What happens What happens Watch what What happens

What happens when there's so much that crap is Who cares what What happens Kids, what happens when they're so wild and rapin' So, you're a crap, it's for when you don't really turn around Kids, what happens when they're so much that happens Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is a man who once got into a huge fight with me over cheese. I can't even believe it. Mr. Ronnie Kerr, I'm high. Ronnie has a going. Well, hello, Ben. How are you doing? It's monumental day.

Monumental. By the way, it's monumental or monumentous. It's momentous or monumental. But by the way, we never got into a fight about cheese. I just wanted everyone to know, just a way. We wouldn't tie, and we would, we would, we would get into a salon fight about cheese. We will. I don't know the context of it, but it'll be hilarious. Yeah, don't put it past us. I'll fight you about cheese. I'll fight anybody for cheese.

Absolutely, sorry, but you were about to say, it was today is a monumental day on the podcast. It's a day we're gonna fight over cheese. I feel like coming. It's kind of new. It's not every we're going to fight over cheese. I feel like coming. It's kind of new. It's not every day we get to watch a new new housewives. In the past couple of years we have, we got real housewives of Salt Lake City, real housewives do buy most recently, which wasn't great.

Salt Lake City didn't have the best to start either, but has gotten great. Maybe Dubai will too. But it's a new one, and this one's huge. People are going crazy over this one How did you feel then real housewives of New York people season one people on Twitter are loving this They're loving the new Rebuff the read the redo the reboot of New York and they're so happy that I don't think my opinion even matters So Ronnie, what did you think I loved it? I did love it

I think it is a little bit suspicious that everybody loves it. I think that that's a little bit weird. I think that Bravo does that. Yeah, I'm accusing Bravo. I don't know what I'm accusing them of. Paying people off. I don't know what it is.

Last night I'm not gonna lie. I was looking at the tweets and I was like, are these people bots? Because then I clicked on some of them and I was like, no, they're not bots. People are like genuine enthusiastic. I kind of feel like sometimes people are posting, hoping that like, Bravo will retweet them

and put it in their commercials. That's the cynic in me. But it seems like people genuinely, really, really love this premiere. So, you know, I'm glad you loved it too. I really did, you know, and I haven't been paid off. So, I mean, I don't know. A lot of people we know seem to really like it.

I liked it. I didn't like, I wasn't gagging. I said, today, I'm like, I was gagging. Remember in the 80s when that was bad? You're like, I'm like, I was gagging. gagging me as the spit. Yeah, and now I'm like, I'm a god man. Gag me as the spit. Yeah, and now I'm like, I'm god. So weird. How things like come around, they're like,

we're changing the meaning of words. So suck, suck at old man. Okay, it's not what it means anymore. We're just gonna confuse the old queens. Okay, that's what we're doing now with language. Anyway, I thought it was pretty good, but I wasn't like, gagged, but I didn't like it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was funny. And I'm really, I, yeah. OK, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, go on. Go on. You can be negative. I don't care.

But listen, here's what I need. Housewives that marinate and then become fucking crazy later on. So I think we should make some predictions. Jenna crazy. You can tell she's crazy. She has crazy face, she has crazy reactions, her resting crazy, she has RCF resting crazy face, which is this I'm going to do it right now for anyone on crap and slump demand. It's this. She likes to stick her front teeth out. Yeah, she has like stick her front teeth out and then her

eyes are always like kind of wandering around like squinting like confused about her surroundings, but also very self assured. She's and also I read a bunch of articles on Reddit and stuff. Thank you, Bravo Real Housewives, but I read a bunch of articles about what a monster she was when she was at J. Crew. I love that. And all of that. So, I am looking forward to her becoming absolutely insane, marinade in the crazy.

Is what I need from you. I need for you. I am looking forward to the craziness coming out of any of them. I think Jessel is gonna be, I think she's one to watch as like being an awful person. She is so cold to her family. She is like ice cold and so mean.

And then when Jenna shows up She's like all smiles. She keeps on saying things like oh my Jenna my Jenna I'm like you little kiss ass. You're such a fucking kiss ass makes me so happy that when I did a Google search for her Like all these articles that came up with the headline Jessel tank throws up all over the New York premiere because she apparently she got food poisoning which is sucks But like a such a mean headline where she kept on saying like she threw up all over the New York premiere because she apparently she got food poisoning, which is sucks. But like a such a mean headline where she kept on saying like she threw up all over the premiere.

She even threw up on the red carpet. I was like, okay, so Jessel works in publicity and these headlines are so mean, which means that she is probably pissed off. So many reporters. She's probably a nightmare to people below her and she's a kiss-ass to people above her. I hate those people in real life, but I do see a lot of upside for her being a terrible person on the show. So I'm excited about that.

Brynn, honestly, I want to- Well, I think, first of all, I think you're Colin Jessel. I think you're Colin Jessel is absolutely correct. She is really nice and kiss-assy to those above her and she's some asshole to those below her. She's so me. And it's so funny watching her try to figure out in this group who she's above and who she's below. I she's well at.

I mean, she has like very, very like psychological, you can watch, you know, like human behavior videos on YouTube and see shit about her, like never looking people in the eye, she's always looking down and kind of around, like she's lying or scheming or there's something going on with her and you don't trust her mostly because she's a PR person,

no offense PR people. Yeah, okay, She's true. We love you. I get it too. I get it too. You know, also I'm an absolutely fabulous kind of a man. I love that show and that's all about a PR person and all. So anyway, agree with what you said about her.

Can't wait. I think she's going to be one of the most entertaining shitsters and backstabbers among these ladies. Okay. That's going to come out. Bren. Okay, so on Twitter people were like,in, okay, so on Twitter, people were like, brand, oh my god, already iconic because she says something at one point.

She says something whores, I forget what it is, but she has some throwaway comment and people on Twitter are like, oh my god, brin is already iconic. I'm like, okay, I'm going to say slow your roll to anyone being iconic on the show, except for Jenna, Jenna has already put in slow your roll to anyone being iconic on the show except for Jenna Jenna has already like put in the groundwork to being iconic because she literally has a whole other TV show That's based on her on HBO Max. So like I'll allow that for Jenna, but Brynn

I'm sorry. She has not done she literally done nothing iconic this episode except speaking baby voice and Honestly be like not that interesting. I don't think that Brynn is interesting so far she can baby voice. And honestly, be like not that interesting. I don't think that Bryna's interesting so far. She seems like a megtilly character, which actually might be a, or Jennifer Tilly character. Could be a megtilly character too.

You're basically selling this. I know, I realized I started to go the other way. I'm like, I'm positively pitching this character to me because I'm sold. I will purchase this character all the time. I don't, I'm all the megties. I don't see what like people on Twitter are loving about her.

She's the one who feels the most aware of the cameras and most manufacturer for the cameras. So I don't love her yet. What do you think about her? I do love her. She's my favorite kind of character. I'm like, when you're all in a talk thing that, like when she's just like trying to be fun

but then she dogs deeper when she's like getting really serious about things you know I like that she's really charismatic she's really beautiful and she is just here to start shit with people she knows the assignment and she's just she's kind of like a Kyle Richards but with like with charisma and a personality wow so I appreciate that. She's gonna start a cheese fight. She's gonna do it. She doesn't care. Then we have Erin. Erin is like Jennifer Anistonne in her looks.

And she's like Jennifer Aniston playing Landon from Southern Charm. Yes, or vice versa. And I think it would be the first one because Jennifer Aniston's an actress and she loves a challenge. Right. I mean, you're like, why is she making Landon's boy? Landon really does like this.

But then when she does, she does it like this. Just like, wait, why are you giving Landon so much gravita, ma'am? So, Aaron, you know, she seems fine. She seems like a little, I get the sense from Erin that she thinks she's a little more awesome than she is, right? Which is a nice shred of delusion that I'm looking for. There's one part where she goes, you guys are looking for the real New York. Here it is.

Oh yes, the real New York as represented by like six women in lavish homes that cost millions of dollars in design or clothing who will never walk into McDonald's. Yeah, I lived in New York 10 years, never really saw. Well, I did see that side when I was catering. Okay, I did see that side. That's not the real New York, okay. The real New York would punch you in the face

before they let you take the corner off of a piece of cheese, okay? I'll tell you that much right now. I do like her. I think that she's so confident because she comes from such a big loving family. And I think that that can go to the detriment of people. I think that you shouldn't be too nice to your children. And you should definitely not tell your children

they're talented and they're like the best thing ever because like my parents did it. And I'm a delusional thought, like I'm literally crazy. and I think that that's what happened with her. I think she's had too much love in her childhood and she really believes her parents. This is what I got because she's got that just kind of like. She's got like narcissism. She has lady. You know. Okay, so I think I'm gonna like her because she gets super defensive about everything and she's very serious and I thought at first she was an interior designer which I like, she was like a serious interior designer that talks like that but then I found out she's a real estate agent and she's still taking herself that seriously which I also love because I feel like we the real estate agents

we see take themselves seriously but they they're also so flashy and ridiculous. And I think she's like a more down to earth narcissist asshole that makes any sense. She's like making narcissism reachable. She's doing what Jenna Lyons did with J. Crew for narcissism. She's like making it wearable for everybody. Yeah, like if she could make Michelle Obama a narcissist, she would make it available to

her. So my concern with Erin is that I think that she thinks her shit is much more entertaining than it is, like even when her kids come out with, like, I don't know, like, we'll get to it, but I don't know, like, I'm a little TBD, but I sort of like her. And then their they're Si. Si, I think, is good because her name represents how I feel when she's on screen. I Si, because I'm finding her kind of boring so far,

but she dresses really well. I'm hoping that there's gonna be more to her than what we've got. I mean, I, listen, I'm not obviously coming from a super positive place from this premiere, but I wanna give it time to get, to get up and going, because it was very much an episode of meeting everyone,

so the narrative flow wasn't really there for me, and I didn't really find anyone to be terribly compelling or interesting, but Sai so far was a little meh to me, but she has potential to grow. What did you think? I liked her. I mean, look, I like it. I know that New York is your baby. That's like your little baby. Real Housewives of New York is your favorite. It's your baby angel. Like, even during the worst of times, you will hold onto that raft and you will just write. I mean, I remember during the Jill's Aaron days, I was like, fuck this show. I can't take this.

This is the most toxic shit I've ever seen. Like, I walk away from this show feeling horrible. I wanna cry. I wanna crawl up and you were like, no, it's amazing. Like, no matter what happens, as bad as it gets, you will always love New York. And, you know, this is basically like Bravo punching your baby in the face and sending it to the back of the line.

But that's why I didn't, it is, yes. But that's also why I didn't want to come out of the negative closet on this episode because I felt like people would that would that would be where people would go first, which is like oh well you just love the old one you can't like of the old one. It's like no I actually really tried to have an open mind about this and in fact like when I first started watching it I even texted you and said oh god, they're having a fight about cheese. And I was very excited about that. But I found, honestly, I was really just not into this premiere. I found it to be very meh.

But again, I'm putting a pin in it because maybe in the next episode, it'll come together more for me after the introductions. But I felt like we already had to go to party games. I don't know, the energy just was not there for me. We'll get to that. We'll argue a lot on this one. This will be fine because we'll disagree on stuff. But yeah, even the party game I felt was justified because General Lyons is one of the most awkward people I've ever seen and she is a person who can whip out a little card that she's had her gay prepared with things to ask people, you know?

Like I feel like this is a time where this actually works because she needs it, you know? That's an interesting point. I just, you know, I think that overall, my first impressions of like the premiere is that I didn't really take me into a world that I cared about, if that makes sense. I feel like a lot of times, like all the real housewives, they allow us to peek inside some sort of microcosm or space that we don't have access to. So in New Jersey, it's like in this Italian family

or in Beverly Hills, this is what it looks like, you know, these former child stars all trying to like the beadless, sealess actors. And this is what looks like in Atlanta, and this is what looks like in Potomac, even in Dallas. And I feel like here, I'm like, I'm like getting a look into a world that I just see on Instagram already.

So I think I'm just like not, like there's no excitement for me there. But again, I'm really trying very hard, even though I had an extremely negative reaction to the premiere, I'm really trying hard to push through it. And I'm also not trying to yuck on anyone's yum because I know a lot of people enjoy this. I will say, just shit all over the ice cream cone man.

Okay. I will say, like I woke up in the middle of the night and I had the moment of realization that this cast, they also just did a full on carbon copy of the Dubai cast, in a sense. Because first they had a cast member who's known to the audience already, so you have Jenna Lyons and you have Caroline Stenbury. And then they said, then they have someone

who's an influencer, so you have Si, as you had Nina, you have a real estate person, which is Aaron and Caroline Brooks is in real estate. That's what she does. You have someone who works in fashion, but with small children, so that's Jessel and Lisa Milan. And you have someone who has sort of like a nebulous career, so that would be Brynn and that would be Sarah. And then you also have an East African model, who in this case are actual cousins, you have Uba and Chanel. I mean, that's kind of crazy.

It's literally the scene, they just basically took the template from Dubai and put it onto New York. Yeah, they did. Uba's great, by the way. She's last but not least on this list. She is so charming and wonderful and sweet. I really liked her. She is sweet. I watched it. I was shocked that I like. I was prepared to hate its guts. And I laughed. I thought it was really fun. And I can see where all of these people can go crazy in the future.

And that's really all I need. You know, it's a crazy garden. You just plant the crazy seeds and I've seen some crazy seeds and the crazy seeds have been planted and I'm ready to see where it goes. So let's get started. Do you want to do tag lines or do you want to just jump right in? You know what? Let me pull up the tag lines because I forgot to bring them up. Send them to me. Yeah. Okay, so I'll start. You start to get to it. So we start with Brynn. I love to laugh, but make me mine and I'll date your dad. I have to say I do really enjoy that tagline. It's like very deranged too. Like what the fuck is that? What does it mean? And they explain to you what it means in the coming this season clips. And she's referring to Aaron's dad.

Because I guess her and Aaron start fighting and she threatens to bang Aaron's dad or something. Yes. Okay, we have Aaron who says, I'm a true New Yorker. The only bull I'll take is by the horns. I think that's pretty good actually. That's a, I think that I like that word play. And then Jenna is like,

I was thinking about something. Listen, we're not, don't go any further with this recap if you need to hear people agree. We're gonna literally disagree on everything. I just feel like coming. Cause that I thought for, I was like, you can do better, Aaron.

Like come on, I'll only take the bull by its horns. Come on, definitely just heard that. bull by its horns. Come on. Definitely just heard that. Or did I just hear it because these were released last week and I heard it? Maybe, maybe that's, maybe I just heard it last week and I'm already mad about hearing it again, even though it's from the show that I heard it maybe last week. I don't know.

So Jenna's like, my blush is maybe fake, but I definitely try to keep it real. I'm like, what? Your lashes. Janet, nobody's looking at your lashes and this is how I definitely try to keep it real. I was like, what? Your lashes? Janet, nobody's looking at your lashes, and this is how I know you're crazy. You needed the most basic housewives bullshit line because you're too crazy to explain in one sentence. Well, her whole thing is she has actually like a condition

where she has no eyelashes. So she actually, she actually sells. Is that true? true yeah she sells fake eyelashes for people who have that condition or so it's not just a basic housewife line no it actually has a flash industry she has a lash industry and it's tied to to that yeah so well in my case, you go, you go, girl. I thought it was just like, hey, my Chanel may not look real, but it is. But yeah, there's more wordplay than apparent that that's there. But if you don't for her, if you don't know anything about Jenna, then yeah, I probably was like, okay, such a wear fake lashes. Great. Okay, Gessels., okay, such a rare fake lash, that's great.

Okay, gessels. You know, am I right? Yeah, gessels is, I always bring the flavor. It's not my fault that you don't have any tastes. I like that actually, even though I'm not prepared. I like that. I like that. And I like housewives of New York telling us

how we don't have any taste, like Ramones, you know. You know what? I'm the quiet taste. So if you don't have any taste. Like Ramona's, you know, you know what? I'm the quiet taste. So if you don't like me, I'm the quiet taste, okay. Like if you don't like me, it's your fault. You know, I'm not like that. So, Sigh is like in New York,

there's a lot of bad apples, but I'm the baddest to the bunch. And then she turns around and she's wearing a boxing robe that says Sigh on it. Huh. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I have, I just generally have an issue.

I don't know. They're the whole like, I'm the baddest apple of the bunch. I don't know. I don't know why that doesn't ring true for me. But, you know, okay. And then Ubas is the secret ingredient, darling, it's me. It's like, okay. Because I guess she has her hot sauce.

Uba hot. Uba hot. Come on, shoes. Here comes one right now. So, let's go start at the beginning. So, I got this new camera that I'm trying out over here. First of all, the main plot of the show is my new camera. And it sticks onto my screen because I'm trying to be more engaged in my life.

So I'm trying to like look at you more and be in the screen more, sort of looking all around, but my eyes can't stop looking all around because I'm used to looking up, you know. So if I look crazy today, that's why. So I'm also having to scroll my notes weirdly to get past the stupid camera that is now stuck right in front of my face Okay, let's get all the next wonderful Well, thank you so overhead shot of New York City and the producers like okay So let's talk about the women Bran and Bran's there in like a pink crop top cut out string thing with puffy sleeves

And she's like um bitches and whores, the next question. The Rally Graham moms, Rally Graham moms. And she's one of those who does kind of the Jennifer Aiden posing thing as she talks, which I really love. So my favorite characteristics to imitate. I feel like Brynn goes and tells people, Gaze love me. So she says, I kind of feel like Satan's first wife.

And then someone says, Brynn is definitely the fun girl. And then Jenna's like, I've never seen anyone weave flirting into everything that they do. Except for me with Michelle Obama. And then Aaron's life. And she does this thing,

we see like little clips of them living their lives and she's like, Hi, I'm Bram, I'm not married. And the guy's like, oh hi. And someone says, that's the waiter. She's like, oh, never mind. I was like, so what the fuck, you're gonna not date him because he's a waiter?

That's the first time I've seen somebody openly disdating a waiter on the show. It's not nice. This show has a pretty bad track record with Weight Staff. I will always remember Dorenda going up to a guy in the restaurant and asking for like a cocktail and he's like, I don't work here. Yeah, she asked him to take her coat or something.

The black guy, remember? That is so fucking offensive. And I love that this is like Bravo's escape from all the problematic shit that happened on the original New York So they even opened with the scene that's the opposite of that. It's someone mistaking someone a black guy for not being a waiter I was like wow you guys are really changing it up for this one. I love it. I love the new direction And then Aaron says brin is taking the fun meter from here To here now, okay, okay, here's I have a complaint and Aaron says, Brynn is taking the fun meter from here to here.

Now, okay, okay, here's, I have it on a complaint, which is I understand that why they have to do this, of course, they have to do this, but I feel like they do a really, they work over time to convince us about how fun they are. They keep on, they so many times in this episode they're like, we are just so fun. We are a fun group.

Look at us, a group of fun people. Isn't that fun? I'm like, okay, listen, okay. I will accept it that you guys are fun, but please, you don't have to meet me over the head with it. Well, also, she's not very convincing because of the way she does it

like from here to here. So she goes, I mean, she takes a fun meter from here to here. I'm like, that's just literally the same level. It's like a windshield wiper, you know, from the left to the right. I need to be like down here and then up here, she takes a meter up, not just the same level.

So then we see Jenna, who's, you know, they start all talking about Jenna. Okay, Jenna's gonna get in trouble for touching people inappropriately. That is another thing I will say right at front. They showed us two shots in this episode, right here at the beginning. One is of her grabbing Aaron's butt, and there's another one of her grabbing Aaron's boobs,

I think, or something, which is all funny games until right now on the world, people are gonna get mad at you. I'm just predicting people are gonna get pissed. Let's see. So the first testimony we hear about Jenna, and I don't know who said it, because at that time it was just voices I couldn't place them,

but we hear someone go, we look in magazines and we see Jenna and she's a boss bitch. They love saying boss bitch on the show. Girl boss, boss bitch. She is such a boss bitch, bitch boss. Oh my God, boss bitch. She is such a boss bitch bitch boss. Oh my God, lover. Um, and the, let me see, we see what a boss bitch she is because she's putting, uh, she's pointing things out to a photographer.

She's like looking through the little viewer lens or whatever. And she's like, yeah, um, I like candles. Okay, but you like need to like the candles also. And the model looks like a pie crust. Please start the mon fire. Start the model on fire. Hate the model. Okay, but you like needle like the candles also and the model looks like a pie crust Please start them on fire start the model on fire hate the model. Okay move the candle over I need the candle closer to the dish because I mean I need to see both of those things it is literally about a candle She's like can you like the candle space? What a boss bitch lighting that candle? I guarantee by the light up mine I guarantee by the light up mine. I'm gonna let it pass bitch.

My candle's starting bitch. I'm about. By the end of this episode, by the end of this recap, I'm gonna love this show, because we're gonna be making fun of so many stupid things. I'm like, okay, I love it. I'm telling you, it's filled with so much gold. That just shot of her looking at the camera

was cracking me up. So then we meet Jettel and she's one of the housewives who succumbs to the big flower on the shoulder. I believe this was started by Sonia Morgan, the gigantic flower that's like bigger than your head, sitting on the side of your shoulder. Those days are done, okay Jessel? I don't know how Jessel is in PR and yet

she's the one barfing all over the premiere and in the old flower, in the old one flower shoulder. I don't get it. So Si says, Just as a papal cyst, and she'll remind you that she's a papal cyst at all times. And we see Just all turning to a gay and going saying,

I joined Michael Corson, the first thing he said to me was, I need last look in Vogue. Is that what you said? Yeah, I mean, the last look in Vogue. And you see the guy is just sad. The guy is like, oh, all the women I could have attached myself to. This is who I did it to.

And then she goes, she's telling us about Jenna. And she's like, oh, Jenna, what a gift. I mean, there's just something about her, you know. She's a very unique person. And then we cut to Jenna and she's on her phone taking a picture in a baseball cap. I was like, oh my God, that's crazy. That lady just took a phone on her,

she took a picture on her phone. Wait a second, did that boss bitch just put on a baseball cap and take a photo? How unique, a unique boss bitch. Also, we see Jenna giving her dog coffee Sounds great to that Coffee okay, also your dog's gonna poop everywhere and then later in the episode They can't her goddaughter who can't take the dog out because it's raining outside

And I was like I hope this dog shits all over your house. Because you gave it coffee, you dumbass. Who does that? Exactly. And so, like, in Jenna's show on HBO, like the whole show is she's like making her house. On top of it, she's doing a lot of different things. It's like, it's actually the most unfocused show. It's like watching the,

it's at the antithesis of Bethany's show on HBO, where Bethany's like, all right, I need to find someone who's gonna be my VP of whatever, okay? Okay, who you want to work for me? Okay, like do something, okay, I'm gonna judge you. Jenna's like, I need to hire someone. I don't know what for, but I think I wanna hire someone, but I think that's gonna, it's like six episodes

of her not even knowing what she wants to do. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, a size like, okay, so we go to size, she's creator, slash influencer, which is worrisome. You know, I mean, I do think that that is a roadblock, really for anybody, okay? In real life and on TV. And she's like leaning against a railing for a fashion shoot, because that's what you do.

You go out to your fucking stoop, you know? Like the girl on Mary Dmitisyn, that lady, you know, who's always like, oh my god, I have so many boxes to open. My husband doesn't understand what it's like to have so many boxes to open. Yeah. It's a big name. Anila? Yes, Anila.

So, yes, I, I, so she's an influencer and I'm actually trying not to be too snobby. I'm like, really trying to grow guys and I'm like trying not to be too snobby about influencers because like, there's not that much difference between Like they're just they're out there on social media doing stuff, you know, like they're making their money like good for them themselves people More used to it now. I'm more used to it now, but that being said I still wrote my eyes and so sigh The first thing that we see of sigh she's like in a robe when she goes do my name? And then she turns around and it says Si in the back of it. And I was like, I don't know why.

I don't know why. I think it's just prejudice against influencers. Despite everything I just said, I think I'm like prone. I'm really trying to like adapt my mindset of real girlfriends and pairs to Si because I was like so amused by influencers on that show. And I I just have to change my mind, change my mindset, you know? So Aaron's like, so yeah, Ty on Instagram, like every picture of her is like Perse lips and posing, because she looks like a huge bitch and she can be a huge bitch, but not to me, so I still have her. And who goes,

Si is such a boss. And I think it has to do with how she is such a boss. Is she like a boss bitch? No, just a boss. Oh my God, so we've got a boss and a boss bitch. Oh my God, I got it! Boss bitch alert. Oh my God, hold on.

I have a boss bitch alert on my phone. Hold on. Warning, boss I have a boss bitch alert on my phone. Hold on. Warning, boss bitch. Tiny boss bitch approaching. Tiny boss bitch, not to be confused with Tiny boss entering, entering the arena. So then we go to Ubers and she lives in Columbus Circle.

She's a model slash entrepreneur. Now this one also, they're not all from the Upper East Side, which is another huge difference. They're from all over the place, including Sai, who's from Brooklyn, which is really crazy. Yeah. Like, they're from all over the city. And the whole thing about being geographically desirable, that is the true thing. So I'm wondering how they're going to make all of this work. Because remember how badly they look down on Alex when she moved to Brooklyn? I know Brooklyn's different now, but they're still a bridge there. It's still a trek.

Okay, I think it's actually opposite now where people in Brooklyn judge Manhattan and I was like, you Manhattan, gross. What am I a tourist or a worker, be? Fuck no, I'm staying at my metal working shop here and well you're smart. I've got coffee and wine built in, you know.

Fuck Manhattan. Do you know how much I had to pay to push out the people who were living here so I could take it over and open up a coffee shop downstairs? I am not going to Manhattan. Get back to work, people, gentrification costs money. Okay. Okay.

Yeah, so, uh, Uba is in Columbus Circle. That is, by the way, Columbus Circle to Brooklyn is a bit of a journey, right? Insanely. Yeah, it's insane journey. Yes, central part. But you know what, though, considering how much driving they have to do on Atlanta and also on Potomac, they have to drive all over to get to their, each other's houses. About time the New York ladies put in some work.

But the, a traffic doesn't move in New York. There is no such thing as you just hop in a cabin, get somewhere when you need to be. I mean, unless you wait until certain hours, I mean, you're either walking or you're going to get your ass in the subway, you know? I mean, like, I feel like the real representation of New York, like poor people will get on the train because we're not stupid. Like, we know that it's the only way to get places during busy times. These people, there's going to be a lot of waiting for filming.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So, so, Uba, yes. So she lives in Columbus Circle. She's a gorgeous model. And Aaron's like, Uba is vivacious. And Brynn's like, Uba is like larger than life. And like, she can be in like the another barrow. And you can like hear her.

Mm-hmm. And, um, we see a model shoot. And the producer guy, the model shooter guys like what are you serving us? U-Bad and she's like chocolate darling So yeah, she is a boss batch to guys So then we go to Aaron and Aaron's like um, this is this is Aaron's Descript, Describatory, Descriptive this is Aaron's descriptive line that they edit in. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Wow, she's a rich voice. Jessal says, Evan, everything likes to run the fucking show. Dare I say that she's a boss? She's a boss! She's a boss too! For all bosses! So then, let's see. She is an interior, I wrote down interior designer. I learned later that I'm incorrect. So she lives in Tribeca. She's a real estate agent. And just like, Erin really

locks to run the show. It's like, oh, she hates her. I love it. Yeah, because Uba wants to be that one. I think Uba really wants to be Jenna's number two and there's probably going to be some friction as Aaron becomes her number two. So Uba's like, Aaron is a true New Yorker and she's a Tray, she's and she's straight forward and then brain is like, Aaron's like that friend that you like laugh your ass off like every time you're like together. And then we find out the Aaron is that snob who everything is about like, they're not even from the city.

Because she's telling, we see a clip of her telling her husband, that girl's not from the city honey. He's like, yeah, she goes, yeah, like a tourist. Oh. You know you live in a fucking tourist city, right? Yeah. You literally live in a neighborhood

that was created by a movie star, okay? That's trying to get tourists there all the time. Robert DeNiro created that fucking neighborhood. Get over yourself. You literally live in a neighborhood called Tribeca. If you think about that, that's not like someone saying to a girl named Becca, try. Just try Becca. Try Becca. That's like a saying to a girl named Becca, try. Just try Becca. Try Becca.

That's like a Jenna line from later in the season. Try Becca. Try. Can you just try to light the candle, Becca? Light the candle, Becca. So then she falls on the ground and our shirt comes up and Jenna laughs and grabs your boobies and stuff, which I think is just like girl play. I'm just thinking it's funny because I'm just worried

that someone's gonna be like, oh my God, she's gay and she's grabbing people's boobs. And I'm hoping it doesn't happen. You know what, guys, I've probably been the one who's been doing that, but I haven't been doing it that way. I'm just like, I see danger ahead. It would be terrible for such a boss bitch to be taken down by that.

So Aaron is, then Aaron. This is where Aaron goes. If you're looking for the real representation of New York, this is us. I'm like, yeah, uh-huh. We're gonna wait to see that scene where you guys ride the subway together. Right. Okay. So let's see. Oh, by the way, the entire intro was spent taking pictures of themselves.

Did you notice? Every scene was them to either taking selfies together as groups or taking selfies as people or taking selfies as their job or Jenna taking pictures of herself or whatever is in front of her. A lot of selfie stuff, which we all knew was coming in this season. But I thought it was really funny that they just, they'd leaned into it. They really did. So now we start in properly.

The show now is really ready to begin. And we're at size, brownstone, Brooklyn, this gorgeous brownstone. And she's telling her kids that there's gonna be a play date because Brynn and Jessler are coming over. And the kids are like, we really don't even, we don't even know who those people are. Like we actually barely even speak English right now.

The kids are on iPads, which is totally how I think kids should be. That is like the dream children to only be on iPads at all times. And so they come on guys, like, what do we even do? The dishes in this house? I don't want people to think we don't do dishes you guys. Okay, you're not going to be on the iPads when people are over here. Okay.

Guys, I read Brooklyn all the way. I used to hang out on flat mush with my little dubies, with pins and them, and everything I had growing up is soklyn all the way. I used to hang out on flatbush with my little dubies, with pins and none, and everything I had growing up is so different from my family now. Like now I walk down these tree line blocks in Brooklyn, and I look through the windows, and I think, how do they even live here? Like sometimes I see people looking through my windows,

and I know that they're thinking like, wow, look at her now. I was like, whoa. You know, there's like being an influencer, and then there's just being way too comfortable with fucking perverts staring into your window. Okay, close your fucking windows. What's going on over there?

She has lowly painted the front of her brownstone to like an Instagram feed. Like a Lisa Instagram logo and then her name. One of those like selfie places, like your kids ask you to go to so they can take selfies on their Instagram She's just in that's how she's raised her following. She's just on everyone's Instagram post like I Like and subscribe you can find me at one two three like and subscribe street in Brooklyn

Wait a minute. I was just looking at the selfie. I took it that selfie place And there's a random lady in the above me in the window. Her doorbell is actually somehow connected to like getting likes on Instagram like you press it and her like skill up her. By the way I think the irony is rich. This doesn't work. This doesn't work. Yeah keep pressing it stupid. Fucking mad hat nights. Idiots. How rich is it that you just pointed out that the opening Montage is just all the women taking photos of themselves and then the first thing we hear of size say is to tell our kids When they come over. Okay. I don't want you guys on your screens

So bring come from I'm like oh my god look at this. It's a lady in the house with shaking bam such good friends And Brynn says I consider a sign to be like 100% like one of my best friends And like I like going to her house because like that's like what I want Like she's like 100% like living life and I like I want it's like perfect Yeah, I'm like should I kill her and take her life? I'm like, you could almost turn into like a Saga drama. Like, I'm sorry.

Ah. Lady, you know your on camera, right? So she gives gifts to the kids. That's how you know that she's a new friend. She can say that their best friends all they want to, but no best friend brings gifts all the times for the kids. That's fucking ridiculous. And we'll all be broke if that were, if we had to do that every time.

I'll barely go to their house anyway, because they all know that I have gum and they try to take it. My kids look at me. I'm like a big walking Mentos dispenser. Dispenser. They know what I've got. And they're gonna get it from me. So then meanwhile, up in Washington Square Park, Uba and Aaron meet up, and Uba's like, oh, you look so beautiful. And Erin's like, you look so chic. I'm saying that as a real New Yorker, just someone else. And I had the craziest morning. I woke up. I had my cereal.

You know, I had my celery juice in the morning. I had my coffee. It's just, I like to just like, you know, like, woke up, celery juice, coffee, you know, and you know, but she says, yeah, the craziest morning, because I woke up. And you know how I have my celery juice, coffee, you know, and you know, but she says, yeah, the craziest morning, because I woke up and you know how I have my celery juice. Like, that's not the craziest morning part. Not that it'll be that crazy, but still, I just like, it's like, you know, I brush my teeth, I have my celery juice, then I have my coffee, you know,

so anyway, let me get to the crazy part. Oh wait, is that when your son accidentally drink or celery juice, I die. I die about it. Anybody else heard this boss bitch celery story dead about it. What an outrageous group we are telling you is hilarious stories. So anyway, I'm gone. I'm gagging to on celery juice. So the letter from the teacher, guess what? After he accidentally drank my celery juice, the teacher wrote me a letter that said, hi, Aaron, Elijah had blowout diarrhea.

And then I texted the group and said, this is what happens when you give your kids cellarages. I gag and die at this boss bitch cellarages. Oh my god. And Uba, the gorgeous supermodel, it's like, oh that's why I don't even touch a cellarage juice. I like to keep my food I pay for it. Why would I get rid of the food? Like I need proof. I need proof back ma'am So psi by the way, does celery juice do that celery juice just sounds so stringy and dangerous?

I don't I would not think that celery juice would do that. I I think that's... I don't want to make any authoritative stances on sale of juice because we're on a platform and words matter, but I would not think that. So, um, let's see. So, sign... sign, brainer hanging out waiting for Jessel, and then Jessel, and Jessel is with her mom, me mom, and the kids are in the back seat. They're driving over this bridge, right? Her mom, amazing. She looks like, she's still dressed in Jess Crew.

J-Crew, Jenna Crew. Jessel wants, Jessel's hoping to hoping it becomes just like her at Sunday. She's like, what late at night? She's like, so are they. It would be just a group. So she's with her mom and she's like, so kids, this is your first time on the Brooklyn Bridge. Do you even care? And she's like, I have two gorgeous twin boys. I call them the human equivalent of coffee.

They don't sit still and really you only do it. You're the only person who doesn't listen to them in the morning. You only reason you get one. You only reason you even notice them every day is because everyone else is doing it and you feel like you should eventually do it. But really, you know, it's just like a path to taking great shit on the table, isn't it? You know what? My children are like the human I'm path to taking great shit on the table, isn't it? You know what, my children are like the human form of coffee. I embrace them in the morning,

but by evening, I don't want to be anywhere close to it. So one of her kids is named Rio, and one of size kids is... Yes, Rio's a very popular name. It's the new cruise. Rio is a new cruise. That's a big name. So then we get a clip of her kids throwing pattern

all over the place and crawling all over her couches and screaming and she's got two white couches. This, I don't trust Jessel. No, no, absolutely not. First of all, children are disasters. They are little lunatic disasters. If they are human coffee, then I don't, actually, I don't even know where I'm gonna go with that,

but like if they're human coffee, like this is bad for the coffee industry, this is, they are wild, wild little world links. They're wild links, and here's why I don't trust her. Not because her kids suck, but because she's got white couches with those babies. I'm like, nobody trustworthy buys those couches.

Like you just, basically I feel like you're just shitting all over the world. Like no one, those couches aren't, what are you doing? Like I don't know what to even say. I'm superplexed by it. Also I need just, I need Jessel to have like, to be consistent with her monstrosityness. Like I think like she, her apartment,

which we will get to is gorgeous, but sterile and severe and you don't feel like you could ever be comfortable in it. It's like you can see that everything in her life is perfectly manicured and severe, but like children totally unkempt. Like I don't know why Jessel doesn't have them in their own separate room,

that they're not allowed to come out of and this is like where they play and they live, you know? And so I, I'm not saying that's a good way to raise children, but I'm just saying I would like Jessel to see her personality all the way through to each room, but like having these children who are on the wild. I don't trust the setting of her life because it's not ringing true.

You know what I mean? The set, I think she has like, barf in her hair and stained clothes, and like, Rosanne's couch from the TV show, Rosanne. Like, I feel like that was it until she got cast, and then she's like, I want to round it. White so far, because we've got a rounded room, and I will have it looking rounded.

Also, I want everything from, like, she has the most expensive thick, really thick, chunky, like wooden kind of plates, like they live in a raw stone. You know, like she has, everything in there just looks kind of... Not brand new. It doesn't look like lip, that's what I'm saying.

I guess that's what I was trying to say. It feels like there is like some kind of distance, like the someone who creates this very untouched world and yet has children who are like wild and all over the place, which I know is actually probably the realest thing about her, but I just want to be a monster in all forms of her life. And I feel like she actually, her mom doesn't even normally look like that. She made her mom get like a nice like makeover and the mom is like, well, you made me over.

And now what? I know I'm like the nanny. How could you do this to me? Yeah, she's using her mom as the nanny totally. There's this, there's this, I said absolutely fabulous. I'm sorry I have to tell this. I'll tell it really quick though. There's this one episode where she has a friend coming over

who's just everybody looks up to this friend. She's a real boss bitch, Bettina, all right. Bettina's coming. And she's like Bettina is so modern and we see them meeting Bettina. All right, Bettina's coming. And she's like, Bettina's so modern, and we see them meeting Bettina years ago, and everything was white and sleek, and like this house. And the Bettina finally arrives. This is an episode where she's like,

I need, I want everything off the counters. All right, this is what I don't want to see. Things on places. All right, remove this. So Bettina finally comes, and she's got kids now, and she's a mess. She's a slap now. Everything's like kids are barfing everywhere.

She's the kids barf on Adina. She's like, Le Quas, baby speutalling. Le Quas, baby. Oh, sorry, I just hit a mic. But you get it. So she's basically like trying to be Bettina, but Bettina's already had the childrens

and she's still trying to be the old Bettina. You know what I mean? I need a messy Bettina. I don't need old Bettina with babies. Literally, I mean, let's also not forget that Jussle literally barfed all over the premiere. She is Bettina turns out. That's what she's just a disaster. You can read it everywhere.

It's the large flower on her shoulder in the diary room session. It's the barfing all over the premiere. It's about having a whole new house of brand new furniture that makes no sense for her lifestyle in her house. She's a disaster. And my house, such high hopes for her. I really like this theory, I'm gonna lean into it.

So, Jessal says, I'm at Sai in Brin, in the fashion and publicity world, which I don't know, that just sounds fun. I don't know why that sounds so funny to me, the fashion and publicity world. What does that mean? It does sound fun. I need specificity. Like, did you take an ad in the back of the fucking, I don't know, village voice? But it also has so many, it ranges, you know, such a range. But by the way, a legitimate issue or concern I have

is that this group definitely feels like they're cobbled together from casting, right? And that's like one that is definitely like a red flag, you know, because we'd like groups that have, you know, real friendships and so when she says, oh yes, I know them from the fashion and publicity world. I'm like, you don't know them. But by the way, I also wanna say one thing,

in defense of this show, one thing that happened before this premiere was that there was another cast member, Lizzy Syvetsky, and she ultimately was fired. And so it looks like this is all going forward from that point, but they had already filmed a lot with Lizzy. And I will say that every Bravo show that has started as either it was supposed to be something else, like, you know, the way Potomac was supposed to be something else.

Miami was supposed to be something else and they changed it to housewives or where they've had to like film stuff after someone's fire and kind of like restart the season, almost midway through, like Salt Lake City last season has always suffered in my eyes and I actually don't blame the show for that. That's just like that is just like the unfortunate way things happen. So I wonder also if I'm picking up on that energy too, Ronnie. Well, actually, I think that helped it because one of my thoughts was this, because I kept thinking where is this horrible Lizzie person?

You know, she seems fucking awful. She got fired for being awful. Her husband's apparently really awful. So I thought maybe we would see her and that would be part of the drama would be her getting fired or losing it or spiraling. But it looks like they just completely learned their lesson. They're like, we're trying to fix things

of this real housewives of New York. We are not starting on this note with the new cast. So they got rid of her and they started all over. But I think it helped because I think that these ladies actually know each other now, because obviously they are cobbled together, but they at least know enough about each other to have fights already going on and be annoyed with each other,

and they're getting on each other's nerves already. And I think that every housewife so should have to shoot for six months to warm up, you know? Just a bunch of shit you're never gonna use. Yeah, I mean, I do think that there's merit in that, but I think the big fight that we haven't even gotten to, yet that all happens off camera. And you sort of feel like, oh, I bet this was on camera

at one point, but they can't show it because of this. Yes, it's like, yeah, I got that same thing. So I'm wondering if that was also some that contributed to me not having as positive of reaction, because I'm like, I'm an empath, I'm a production empath. And I'm like, you know, I'm an empath, I'm a production empath. And you know, I feel things, you know. I felt that Kairan.

I thought that Kairan. Yeah, I felt that change of mandate on the show. So anyway, so Jess is telling us how Si is a content creator and one of the most respected in the industry and she goes, I would buy everything that she posts, which is why I have this new house of white furniture that my children will not destroy, I command it. That's why I've put on the outside of my window the film that makes it look like trees to take a picture against, but it's really a see-through window where you get me in your shot. I don't understand that, but I like it.

I was trying to reference Sia's stupid stoop that people started to picture some fan of and she thought that it didn't make any sense. This is why I've got a boxing robe with the name Sia on the back. That actually probably makes more sense. No, it's my bad. I'm just kind of doggie paddling around this pool. I don't know what to do. But by the way, I did like when Brin said,

this was a point for Brin, point for Brin when she gets. Science cans, I'm like, my ovaries are flipping, but I'm ready to get like knocked up yesterday. Just those kids, I'm like, eh. I was like, okay, I really respect someone for going on TV and saying, your kids good, your kids suck. I respect that.

I really respect that on a brin. So then we cut back to Uba and Aaron who were still talking in the park and they're talking about the other girls. Uba's like, how so did you see the other girls? And she's like, yeah, you know how I'm feeling about it? I'm still a little salty about that night and it's like don't don't don't we get our first problem of this season And Aaron's like listen, I don't even care if people like have different plans

But like it was like if we should go do something together. We should do something together So like I made plans to do something together So Aaron tells us so the girls and I want to get together for dinner, it was a huge group. Okay, and nothing was available. It was last minute, so I picked a beep, and they just beep, and I was like, wait, all you hear is that, a cut, and then a beep. A beep. So, of course, everyone's saying catch, right?

Catch, yeah, everyone's saying catch in New York City. Oh, it's just so good to know that that place is a dumpster of sea-less losers too, because LA one definitely is. Oh my God. What a douche pit. Not only that, but I love also that they can't even say the name. There'll be some sort of either ramifications

as NBC Universal have a stake in catch or something like that? Or is it because it's celebrity-backed that the NBC doesn't want to get in trouble with celebrities? Like, sorry. I don't know, they don't want the catch slanta. Yeah, so Aaron's like, yeah, I mean, I would go with anyone to a local bar, like who cares where we go?

You liar, because you're the snob about who's really from Manhattan and who's not. Don't act like you're just gonna go sit in in the Applebee's, because I don't believe it. Yeah, and don't act like catch was the only place you could find. I'm sorry, it's a big city. And if you are like a boss bitch, you could make sure there would be space if you no matter what.

So like this catch thing, this is not ringing true. You have bad tastes. And your friend's called you a lot. You think catch is cool. Yeah. it. You think catch is cool. Yeah, catch is cool. I think you think catch is cool. Yeah. Well, they're all influencers.

Where should I take them? Catch. And they're like, that's out of our. Here's what probably happened. I just developed an on the fly theory. She knows someone who works a catch, let's say. And then she's like, hey, I'm doing a TV show. How about we just come in and we'll shoot the show at your restaurant.

Like, oh, that's great. And we'll just like comp your meal. Yes, okay, we're gonna do that. Say you're reading this whole thing and then people don't show up. And now it's a drama, but she's like, well, we can't, we work because my friend did this, like, pulled this favor for us.

I don't wanna be bad, like, talking bad about the restaurant. We got this free food. So, Aaron demands that they believe out catch. That's my theory. Okay bad about the restaurant. We got this free food. So Aaron demands that they bleep out catch. That's my theory. Okay, I like it. I'll go with that. So she tells us. But that's my theory.

That's okay. You know, these are incont sequential fights, which is why they're so good. So she's like, the restaurant used to be the hottest restaurant in New York, and it's easy to get to. It's convenient, but you know what? Like, Brynn ditched the group and sat with Si, and then they posted in the group chat that they were at Cipriani.

I mean, that was hurtful. Like, it's just very obnoxious, and it's like hurtful also, like I'm hurt. I'm hurt. So hurt that they bailed on the dinner at catch. So Aaron didn't like that they weren't upfront. And, you know, because they apparently said they were tired and they were going home. And Jess was like, but I thought that they did give him.

So now we've got to silence. This also fucking liar too, like she didn't see the group chat, they were bragging about it. They were on the group text, posting that they went to another restaurant. That's why it's so funny to me, because it's obviously them being dicks to her on purpose. Like this brin girl is obviously trying to trigger her,

which is why I like, right, I think it's hilarious and it worked. She's like, how dare they ditch us at catch. So now we go back to size house where the women are still talking and brin tells Jessel, like, sorry, I kind of bailed on that dinner and size like, yeah, she bailed with me and brin's like, well, I kind of bailed on that dinner. And so I was like, yes, you bailed with me.

And Bryn's like, well, I didn't know how to say I wouldn't be caught dead at catch, especially with your children, Jessel. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to say that I loud. And Jessel, the publicity person, is like, wait, it's not 2006 then. It's just, no, like, you've not even won 2005. And I'm not a diva smodel either.

So. Now listen, you are a reality story in Bravo. So don't start throwing stones in your cat chouse, okay? So I thought that's so funny, because apparently from reading all the controversy today on the internet, a catch open in like 2011 or 2012 or something. So Jettel's like, wait, it's not 2006.

So I was like, oh yeah, you're really up to date. Jussle, with everything hip and trendy, wrong fucking year by a decade. Liesr. Have some historical accuracy in your disses, okay? I mean, for real. And then Bren just, I guess exaggerates it more to save her, because they're friends right now.

So yeah. So, so I was like, well, I mean, is it bad that I didn't go to bleep and Brynn's like, I mean, all of Garden to me is like sheaker, they have like good breadsticks, they like slop. Yeah, but I'm saying, I know about there's so something I'm saying, what am I saying, good teenagers? And why does size say, catch is good for teenagers? I think I don't know.

She does, because they're just, why are they talking only teenagers like catch? Okay, I got that's what they're saying. I could go to my own notes. Yeah, because you are like, you're on Long Island, it's prom night, you go into the city for the prom, something exciting like that. And then like you go on the circle line for prom.

And then afterwards, you're like, let's go to catch because we've heard about it. So yeah, it is, I literally can see teenagers going to it. Yeah. So I'm not saying that's what my prom experience was like, but it was not unlike a prom experience I had. Mine was like this. Thank you for being a friend. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, Aaron's like, who cares where we are as long as we're together?

And she's like, yeah, and then Jessel told me the night we went out that she had heard that they were talking about me and that doesn't feel right. So yeah, she didn't like that. And it was like, I think it's very mean. So we go back to Brandon. She goes, Aaron says that she's been like distancing herself from you side because you rubbed her a little wrong. My words, not hers.

And so I was like, oh, apparently I'm like an awful human being who just happens to have a very beautiful boxing jacket that she wears with her name on it. Sorry. Mm-hmm. And so I was like, Oh, Erin and I have similar friends, and we run out of the same circles for a few years now, and I can tell you this,

Erin's always arguing with or mad at somebody. So now it's seeming like Erin is the comment denominator in all of this. So, Brynn's like, Supposedly, fine with lying, Supposedly, like cheese,

what's that? So I was like supposedly like cheese. What's that? So I was like, yeah, about her Shakururi board. Like a Shakur, a Shakurchi, Shakurchi we board. Like what? Shakurchi board. Her Shakurchi board. I was like, so Brin's like, it's a proper pronunciation right there.

So then Brin goes, this is me doing, this is me doing Aaron Tend to story. Okay, everyone get ready. Okay. Okay. So side comes over and she's like what's that and she's like that's cheese and it's supposed these side goes oh you wait you eat cheese and Aaron's like is that not cool and apparently side goes that's weird thanks for the full illustration of the stories. Brin. So then it cuts a sudden size. I did not have a mouth of cheese in champagne and nuts and cheese, like listen, like, wait,

did I not have a mouthful of cheese in champagne and nuts and cheese? Why would I just the cheese? She's like, I ate the cheese. And cheese, like I remember eating the cheese. More I ate more cheese than everybody else ate the cheese. Like, I'm from Brooklyn, in Brooklyn we love cheese. I remember being on like that push avenue,

ordering cheese at stores, like, then, cheese. Looking into like townhouses and being like, someday I'm gonna have cheese on a table like that. And now people look in my townhouse, and they see me eating cheese, and they wanna be me. So I know all about cheese. Yeah.

Like, take me all the way up and like Glass G's elevator. You know what I'm saying? Like I win. So then Brynn, Brynn's like, yeah, but I'm like, I win the end of the line about that. That's weird, I mean, like seriously, she's lying about G's. So then we cut back to Aaron and Aaron's like,

okay, well how do you feel about tonight? And Uba's of course like all positive positive she's like the positive force in the group so she's like I'm just so excited to see everyone we're an exciting group of girls that's for sure we're not boring we're so fun what a group of fun boss bitches having fun what was this all about she's like we're an interesting group of people right we like you can't handle our energy. Stay home. I'm like, oh, this energy about fighting over cheese.

But I do love a fight over cheese. But I just love Uber all in the middle of the show, just saying, hold on, Aaron, what you're saying? I know it's good, but they need something for the marketing. What an exciting group of people we are. I love also that you've turned into like, Mario for a month.

Mom, mommy, yeah. What an exciting group of girls we are. My mother made the sauce. The access to take a moment to congeal. Oh, it's going to take a while. It's also new. We need time. Okay, we need time.

So yeah, she's like, if you can't handle this energy, stay home. Well, we did it again. We wound up talking for way too long. So we've decided to split this episode into a two-parter. So this is the end of part one and part two will be up in just a little bit. Be sure that you're subscribed to Watch a Crap and on whatever platform you're listening to, that way the episodes just come rolling in on their own into your feet and you don't have to seek anything out. Anyway, thanks for listening and we will catch you on the next episode. Byeee! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney!

She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o never alone with Lacey Montellon. Let's give a kiss, Arino, to Lisa Lino. There ain't no problem that Sarah Salvia can't solve you. Ruhu-lu-lu! The Bay Area Beaches, Beaches. And our super premium sponsors, the incredible edible Matthew sisters. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Erica, 500 days of summer. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podd, Chadly. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. My favorite, Merto, Karen McMurdo. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Give him hell, Miss Noelle.

Can't have a meal without the Emily side. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. We want to hang with Liz Lang. Shannon out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamela Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar. We love you guys. Hey, Prime members.

You can listen to WatcherCrapppens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.