Watch What Crappens - RHONY Part One: Coach Reproach

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* It's vacation time for the Real Housewives of New York, and Erin starts it off on a whiny tattle tale note when she complains to everyone that Jenna ditched them cuz she's too good for coach. Sad horn Erin strikes again! Have fun! This week's bonus episode will be a Trailer Trash Southern Charm Preview. Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Amazon 5 Star Reviews presents Better Than A Wooden Steak Today's customer review is from a customer that goes by Burt Toast, they write. Ever since this three pack of organic garlic was delivered, I have not seen a single vampire. That cannot be a coincidence. Will update my review of anything changes? Five stars.

Well, Burt Toast, if it doesn't work, at least you get the beginnings of a nice Marinerah. That's how to make everyday better. Real Amazon customers, real reviews, really. Welcome to a two-part Real Housewives of New York episode. Listen, we could not stop talking, you guys. We hadn't seen each other for a long time. When we hit two hours, we split them up.

Okay, that's just how we're rolling these days. So this is a two-parter. It's a long one. It's a long one. It's a fun one. We hope you enjoy it. Come back. We'll put part two up right away too, so you don't have to wait around for it. And just to note, this week we are skipping below deck down under because we had a day off. But Salt Lake City is coming back and below deck, below deck, below deck, below deck, below deck, below deck. Ballet deck. Ballet deck, I'm Andar's gonna be a Pac-Nex Rex. That's not worried about it. We'd love you guys.

Thank you so much it's happened. It's a real pleasure. I'm so glad. It's a real pleasure. It's a real pleasure. I'm so glad. Well, hello and welcome to Watch Rock Rock Rock and support the cast for all that crap. We love to talk about a Neil Broves. I'm Ronnie. That's been over there.

Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? You know, so great, Ben. We had a day off for a labor day. Okay. We took some labor day off. And of course, it doesn't really mean a day off because there's still just as many shows on Broadway that we're gonna cover. So I don't know why we do that, really.

Why do we do that? Did you do anything special for labor day? Guess what I did. I laid down. I couldn't do that literally any day. What did you do? I also laid down. I couldn't do that literally any day. What did you do? I also laid down. I was actually very grateful that we were not podcasting yesterday because I went to New Jersey

for the not Beyonce Barmat's Fowl, which was wonderful. I got to see all my family, cousins, uncles, aunts. It was really so lovely. I haven't been to a barmat's for an age. Just by the way, barmat's are crazy now. Crazy, but congratulations to- I think I'm always been crazy.

Yeah, but now they're like next level crazy, but congratulations to Kazimolis's son, Jack. And I came back with a parting gift of COVID. So I spent my labor day, I had at one point ambitious plans of arriving, coming back to LA and buying a solo ticket to the Beyoncé Show last night. But instead I spent my day just lying in bed and wallowing, it's my standard thing.

But the good news is that it's so much better, it's moving on. It's moving on, moving onwards and upwards. So I was pretty... So wallowing time as Fed is pretty good. I'd love some wallowing time and bed. It's one of my hobbies, you know? Just, all you need are some peanut M&Ms. It's like having wallow, little depression,

think of everything anybody's ever done to piss me off, or hurt my feelings. Just wallow, just roll around. I like when you wake up and you've got like an M&M stuck to your back and then you have like little spots of color everywhere that the Eminem kind of melted on you through the night. God, I love an Eminem wallow. Yeah, it was sort of like that.

And my air conditioning went out, which is like, it feels like my air conditioning only goes out when I am like really sick. I don't know what it is. Can I say it? I'm not trying to like criticize your house because I've been to your house and it's a stoner. Like I think when I walked and I started singing I think I'm gonna like it Which is what Annie saying when she saw her mansion. I mean it is a gorgeous home

Your house is pissing me off at this point. I mean how many times is your air conditioner broken? Oh, I know I know can we fix this? I know 23 what the fuck bro the air conditioning is a real, I don't know what's going on with it. And it only goes out when I'm in peak wallow mode. It's like, you know what, we want Ben to wallow more. But you know what, though? I got a fan, I got a fan, I put it on my face. And you're fresh as a COVID-daisy, ready to podcast.

I love a COVID-daisy. Well, congratulations, welcome back. I love a COVID daisy. Yeah. Congratulations. Welcome back. I did go to Beyonce. Yeah. First of all, fuck off, lady, for trying to make me buy something silver. Okay. I already paid a house mortgage to come see your stupid show and sit in the ass crack section where basically I mean, I was like, did Rick Moranis produce this show because everyone is as big as my pinky. I couldn't see anything. Thank God they have some big screen TV so I could tell Beyonce was even damn there because

you would never know it. It was kind of amazing though, but she sent out mute notifications. We have to be mute at certain times and we had to wear silver. And then guess what, you show up and she's selling silver things to wear. Well, what a fucking, are you not making enough money? I sold Bueller to come see your show. Beyond saying. What was it do with the mute? I heard people like someone wore like a jacket,

it says, when Beyonce says mute, you mute, what was that all about the mute thing? She says mute, mute. I mean, what the fuck, kind of power trip is that? It was only during one song though. I thought we had to be quiet the whole time, which I went with my friend Trisha. So, you know, that's not going to happen.

I mean, this is how she walked into the theater. Ah! Ah! Tires! Tires! So, that was, you know, I was like, this isn't going to work, but our friend Jesse told us, went to mute, and we did it. And I know and yelled at me for not having silver because, girl, I'm sorry, I don't have time to get Amazon

I was gone the whole week Can I just say the people to be on take on beyond be on say being an amazing talent And making me feel extremely lazy because she did not stop singing or dancing For two hours and 45 minutes except for the times she took 10 minutes to go change her damn clothes I was like, okay, how long does it take to put on another jumpsuit? But not jumpsuit, potty suit. But that said, what an amazing show,

but can I just say the audience there was so kind. Everybody there was like, hey girl, you look so beautiful. Oh my God, you're so beautiful. Hey, guess what? I love your outfit on the outside, but I also love what you're wearing on the inside. Oh my God, you're so beautiful. Hey, get sweat. I love your outfit on the outside, but I also love what you're wearing on the inside. Oh my God, your soul's glowing girl. Oh my God, yours too.

Everyone there was such a warm sweaty hug to each other. That's so lovely. I of course saw lots of stuff on Instagram. It was really funny watching all these people that you know, they all decided to wear these like pseudo avant garde outfits that were, you know, various degrees of success to this. It was, it was just kind of funny that like all these people,

something like, I'm gonna dress like I'm gonna be on say video. And it also was funny while this was happening, you know, there's this crazy thing happening with Burning Man where, um, a lot of people are stuck up there because it rained. And I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. rained. And I was thinking. I was thinking. I was thinking. Dr. Dennis.

Oh yeah, Dr. Dennis. I was thinking. I was thinking. And I was thinking. There's actually kind of a fine line between like, it's like, we have these two massive events where people are dressing up in these crazy outfits. And I was like, there's got to be something about that. The Beyonce retisons shows in LA and also the burning man.

Like everyone's just like, well, I tomorrow I go back to my corporate shop, but today I'm going to wear something silver that is like the shape of the trapezoid and like covers my, like my chest. And then there's going to be like a strange eye makeup situation. Am I going to burning man? Am I going to Beyonce? You decide. There was like a strange eye makeup situation. Am I going to Burning Man? Am I going to Beyonce, you decide? There was like a weird cross intersection. And guess what, I have to say a cross section.

But guess what? Beyonce won. The losers of Burning Man suck, and we people at Beyonce won. I think Beyonce can go home later. Beyonce can go home later. Yeah. More glitter alsoifies well-built.

Like if it rained or whatever, you can still get right in and out of there. It doesn't matter that there's 70,000 other people there. You can walk right in and right. I was amazed. It was very good community planning. I will make one request. And by the way, we'll shut up.

And we will talk about more of this stuff on our bonus episode this week because we haven't had a talky bonus for a while. But one thing I will ask just from my friends or you guys if you have friends on Instagram or whatever that you could spread this around to, I would really appreciate it. Sometimes I've learned this this week that community really changes each other and if we tell each other, if we're honest with each other and we're kind to each other, that stuff spreads. So I would just like to spread this around to everybody that we know really. Could you please stop taking videos of yourself crying about things and

posting them on Instagram like that makes you better than it? I've seen 10 people posting themselves crying at Taylor Swift. Stop it. Okay. It's disgusting. It's pathetic. Okay. And all I do is make fun of you and call you really bad words. Stop doing it. Show me Taylor. If you're're gonna show me anything, don't show me yourself. You're like, look at me, I've feelings. I don't need to see it, you're 45, you should know better. Honestly, don't show me Taylor because,

and in fact, don't really show me really any concert Instagrams because it never translates. It never ever translates. It's like, I am looking at a blow now, like the lighting's all messed up and I see a little dot moving around. Actually, these days now that there are these big LED screens, you can sort of see something, but honestly, take a picture, put it on Instagram, but don't, if I go on to your story and there's like 45 little dots indicating all, like you're trying to capture the entire Beyonce or Taylor Swift concert, I don't, if I go on to your story and there's like 45 little dots indicating all,

like you're trying to capture the entire Beyonce or Taylor Swift concert, I don't need it. I don't need that either, but really honestly, like people are so full of themselves taking video of yourself sobbing at a Taylor Swift song seriously fuck off. And I granted, I'm moving that to Taylor Swift because I didn't see it with Beyonce.

So I guess I should concentrate on how proud I am of people for not doing it at Beyonce, but I started all doing that at Taylor. And I was ashamed to even know you. I almost abolished you all except and I remember I don't really have that many friends. So I'm just going to say it here and not name anybody by name. Okay. The most important question is when you went to this Beyonce concert, did you fly in a day earlier in business?

Where did you go coach with all your friends? So, I took a bus from Palm Springs. I took the $20 Flicks bus, so I was mad at Genetil. I was like, fuck, Genet, Genetil, yeah. And it's trying to let me know and let all of you know that we're actually here to recap real housewives of New York and not our own lives. But I've not seen Ben. I haven't talked to Ben in a long time.

I've been, someone just said he used to it. Yeah, so much has happened. There's been Beyonce, there's been COVID. I mean, it's just like New Jersey, there's been New Jersey. Farmers, there's been so much happening. But we are here as a matter of fact to discuss Real Housewives of New York

Thank you for being here tonight is crappy hour. That is an hour of us talking to you guys over on Instagram live We're doing it a little different tonight because we're gonna try and get a professional recording We're gonna talk about gossip read your all's comments from the Instagram live and then in the last 15 minutes or so We're just going to have a link for you guys. If you do want to come on camera to click on that link, come talk to us on camera. And we're going to talk to as many people as we can within the last 15 to 20 minutes of the show. We're trying something new every week, every other week with that. But it's normally every other Monday we're doing it to say because obviously Labor Day. So happy Labor Day whoever went into it yesterday.

And we will be doing that tonight, 530 Pacific time. Also our bonus episodes have been a super fun. Southern charm trailer, real housewives of something else trailer. This week is a top-of-the-top-y bonus. Also Salt Lake City comes back this week. It's fucking amazing.

It's one of the best episodes we've seen of a house was in a long time. That's back. All our videos are here. Crappings on demand. Patreon, go do it. Sign that for it. You're gonna love it.

Thank you to everyone on YouTube for watching us over there. That's where you can watch our videos a week later. Okay, let's move on to the next one. Thank you, Beyonce. Thank you, Beyonce. You know what, I'm not making Beyonce for shit because I paid her. You know what I mean?

I really felt like I deserved a name shout out or something. I mean, girl was $250, manoeze almost flat and I don't even do a coke anymore. Okay, Ben, go ahead. What are you gonna say? Well, I just wanted to say, one of the upsides of getting COVID is that it really, it means that I'm gonna have good Carl voice

and I have a feeling we'll be talking about Carl and Lindsay tonight on Crapy Hour. So crappy hour so we're really looking forward to it y'all. Nice totally Carl and Lindsay. Oh, Sardin rupt you during what seems to be the season finale. Can't believe I'm doing those on a season finale but I'm not gonna know. Can't believe that was just we're only featured this season I'm gonna do something that's gonna hijacked the entire season. Whoa! Crazy!

Yeah. It doesn't seem fake at all, guys. But yeah, if you want to see a couple of raisins dump each other, we're going to re-enact that all night tonight. So let's go to Real Housewives. That's so rude to call them raisins. They're like 20 minutes. That's rude, but funny, by the way. But also funny.

So, Real House was in New York. New York are gonna recap this. So by the way, in case you didn't hear us the holidays, it's been the holidays in Real House was in New York for like five weeks and it is still the holidays. And now it is Thursday, December 22nd, and Si is in a showroom, which means it's her walking around trying on outfits.

Uba's there, Uba joins up. But she's not gonna pay for. Also, this is an influencer in a store which she is not gonna pay for anything because that's what influencers do. They go to places with their fucking hands out, okay? Do not high-five them. They don't find that amusing.

I've done that before, okay? You put something in their hand, okay? Yeah, yeah. So she's looking for a resort wear. So Uba joins up. This is like the first time we've seen Uba in like three months. And she's like, oh, you like sugar daddy all the way. By the way, secure sugar daddy joke. You're both stupid. Okay. There's running joke because it size really short, but she gets to hang out with a super model. So she must be like a rich sugar daddy because that's the only way short people ever get

to be with super models. Yes, that's been a running joke, Ben. I know you've been really into this show so you haven't gotten that yet. Ben loves the show, guys. But it's a running show. They do a joke about it every episode. I'm sick of it.

It's not funny. Another you sign. You know, sign, you're really fucking rude and I'm sick of you. I'm sick of your fucking attitude on this show being an asshole with everybody. Well, you're showing up rude and I'm sick of you. I'm sick of your fucking attitude on this show being an asshole with everybody, while you're showing up to this show for freebies. Okay, I'm not really sure.

I still don't really know how I got cast on this show. I'm just gonna say it right now. I don't understand. She's from New York, Ben. Okay, she's really in New York. She's from Brooklyn and people look in her windows. Okay, that's it. So she said, it's that time of year when New York is getting antsy and we need some sun. I'm like, I think that's every day in her windows. Okay, that's it. So she said, it's that time of year when New York

is getting antsy and we need some sun. I'm like, I think that's every day in New York. And last week's side, so we see a flashback side has pitched an idea that like, hey, let's all go to Anguilla. And so they're going to go to Anguilla. And now, Si and Uba are shopping for outfits for sit Anguilla trip. So tell us, shopping with a model is very special. I'm probably about like 10 inches smaller than her and like her body's amazing, but she makes like every single thing look good. And then yeah, so that was my that was my observation. I'm like, wow, I got to end that quote and I realized, wow, that's really all she had to say was that with a model when a model wears clothes, she makes it look good. Who would have thought? Wow, Si, thanks for the insight.

Um, you know, we see her talking to Brynn on the phone, like, oh my God, you want to go to Engrilla? And then Brynn's like, um, actually, I do love Engrilla. Engrilla's fine, yeah, I do. Oh yeah, Brynn, you're so fucking picky. Okay, can we read LinkedIn? I don't know why I'm so furious at everybody today, but this episode really infuriated me with everybody. Did it not? Yeah, I actually liked this episode

because the first time I actually felt any sort of emotion watching the show. I was like, oh, I'm angry. I'm like, angry. I'm taking a side on something. I was like, oh my god, I have a taking a side. I'll see you soon because I haven't cared enough. I'm so happy. I was literally furious. I'm trying to find, oh, the sorry this post was deleted by the person who posted it. Thanks a lot, Dix. Okay, I'm all ready. Trying to read this LinkedIn profile

from Brin Whitfield, because it's hilarious. Hold on, let me see. If it's not at this link, I'll give it up. Okay, I guess she deleted it because everybody was wracking so hard on it on Reddit. But it's basically like Bring went field. I have been a part of a campaign that brought Extras to the masses and was one of Dev's biggest campaigns also. I was part of a team of a campaign

in the history of the dawn of the... So who wrote this for you? What is this? I don't believe she even has ever had a job at this point. Well, we see, she took it off. There's still no indication based on what we watch on the TV show that she has a job,

which is fine, you cannot have a job, but I just wanna know what she does when she's not filming. That's what I'm so confused about. Where does she get the money, too? I think that guy who looks like he's from Notting Hill. Okay, marketing communications consultant September 22nd to present, one year and one month. Marketing communications. What does that mean? That's so vague. Now, granted, I'm a person without a real job, but at least I could say talking shit.

Like, that's my job job and it's verifiable, you know, advisory board member of sacred yoga. The fuck is that? Okay. Advisory board member of tongue try. That's all one word. Tongue try. And PR lead of assembly. I don't know what any of this is, but yeah, you're going to be okay with anguilla, okay?

You're going to go where they tell you to go. Fucking board member of Tongue Try. I really love this, you're really, I love you're the only one who came out of Beyonce like angrier You're really I thought I was gonna be the one that was gonna be I'm the one I was like I'm under the weather I was like you know what I'm I'm under the weather. I was like, you know what, I'm under the weather. I don't give a fuck. I'm just gonna say what's on my mind today.

But I was like, oh damn. I was like, I don't know. And Ronnie is on one today and I love it. This is how I'm happy. You know why? Because everybody, you know what I'll say, was so nice to each other. Okay, is there somebody dancing right in front of your face?

It's okay. You know what happens? They literally turn around and go, oh my god, am I dancing in your face? And then they move. I mean, like people are so nice. And then people on this show are so shitty. It just, it was the juxtaposition of coming out of like

a place where everyone's so nice to coming to this show where everyone's such a fucking asshole for no reason. Then I was like, fuck this show now, like, hey show, I've been on your side, okay, for this whole time. And this is the one, this is the one that finally pissed me off. So good. And this is the one that I, and this is the episode I enjoyed the most

of the season so far. So, but that being said, I mean, I'm still, I still got a ways to go. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. Hey listeners, you need to know that Wondery shocking true crime podcast over my dead body is back for a fourth season gone hunting. This newest season covers the story of Mike Williams. It was Mike's sixth wedding anniversary when he set off on a hunting trip into the gator infested swamps of North Florida. He figured he'd be back in time to take his wife Denise out to celebrate. Mike's sixth wedding anniversary when he set off on a hunting trip into the gator-infested swamps

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I want you to picture Steve Jobs tinkering with a computer in his garage, Walt Disney drawing cartoons for his high school newspaper. Every big moment starts with a big dream, but what happens when that dream turns out to be an even bigger failure? Each week on Wundry's new podcast The Big Flop, host Misha Brown is joined by different comedians to chronicle some of the biggest failures and blunders in pop culture history. Each episode will have you thinking, why in the world did this get made? From box office flops like Cats the Movie, to Action Park, New Jersey's infamous theme

park that had countless injuries, many lawsuits, and rides so wild it became known as Class Action Park, or Quibi, that short form video platform with an even shorter lifespan. It's a story of a spectacular failure with lots of surprises along the way. Enjoy the big flop on the Wonder App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the big flop early and add free on Wonder E Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wandery.com slash plus. By the way, it's all like City, great premiere. As you said before, it is so good. I think that's part of it too, is that like,

we've seen the premiere and we're gonna be recapping it, obviously, and the premiere is so, so, so, so, so good. And it's like, oh, this is what, this is what you guys need to be doing. Like, this is, why are you not doing, because the salt, like, I'm telling you, you texted me and I was like, oh my God, I can't wait to see. And now that I've seen that,

and then have to go to New York, where they're just sort of like a sigh, shopping, and Uba making stupid jokes, you're like, why? Why, you guys could be so much better. I don't know that they could. I mean, I think it's gonna take another recast, because I feel like some of the people on this show are good.

I mean, I don't think it's like a total wash. I do like, I have enjoyed it. I don't think so either. I don't think it's a wash either. I don't think it could, I think it could get there for sure. But yeah, I'm pissed today and also no one compete with Salt Lake City. I mean, I know that that is, we always call that

the community theater of Housewives. They're just making it up. It seems like they have no support. It's just like one long improv class that people show up to. We get it. But it's also the only show that opens with all the ladies in serious tones

using Bible verses against each other in voiceover. I mean, it's so funny. And then they do this thing where they're like close up, walking against each other in voiceover. I mean, it's so funny. And then they do this thing where they're close up, walking past each other, and like a soap opera where you see them walking in high fashion. And then as they pass each other, they give each other dirty looks, but slow down. And then it'll be like above them, it's like,

shoe warehouse, because they're like, you can get all at the mall. In the mall. And it's just, there's a camp factor. It's all, so this new Roni does not have a camp factor and it's really, it's just really apparent. Although this episode started to approach it a little bit, but I think that's what I want.

I think they're just, they're going for relatability and I don't need relatability. Okay, so I don't need to watch Si try on outfits with Uba because I don't care. So Si try on outfits with Uba because I don't care. So Si, anyway, check out outfits and now they're going to start to gossip. So Si is like... Well, I have to say because I think you already said this, but I need to really concentrate on every line of this episode, even though it pissed me off because it pisses me off.

And that's how I like to focus on the negative. Okay, it's my hobby. So they're shopping and then size like, well, I guess you could wear anything, right? And she's like, no. But if I were you, I would just go topless everywhere. Like if you have tits like mine, why would I cover up now?

We'll have to cover up when we're older. And then she tells us, some people think that shopping is a model you can wear whatever you want. But it's opposite because you have stylists and you have things that are tailored to you. So it's very hard to shop alone and figure, I was like, this is her trauma.

Like, we've gotten everybody's trauma. Uba's is not having a stylist. Tuba and Giver. Uba is, I think Uba is just, it's that plane that's just trying to take off. I mean, like the grabbing the coconut milk from the restaurant, trying to, this old thing, it's like, oh, aren't I, I'm a super model, but aren't I relatable? Because I don't understand what to do in a store.

I'm like, I want so much for Uba, because I think I just want so much for really beautiful women. But it's just, I don't know. I don't think that there's a failure to launch from you with Uba so far. So Sai is basically like, well, by the way, I want to tell you about Jenna's weath giving. So Jenna comes in with another gift bag. And I think giving gifts to us is like really sweet and everything. But when you're constantly giving gifts that are your collaborations, kind of like,

uh, you know what, I don't wanna hear it as high. Here's why I don't wanna hear it. Because we know your season two storyline is gonna be that you're gonna come out with your own signature line of whatever bullshit. It's gonna be either fashion or candles or something like that. Like ankle warmers. It's gonna be a whole warmers.

We know this is your next storyline. We know that I've seen the Rachel Zo project. We saw the trajectory of Rachel Zo. She came out with her own line of stuff, okay? And which still existed, it's very day. Go to Marshalls. So. So it's gonna say T.J. Max it up, you'll find some.

That's bananas. How many cats? Yeah, that's bananas. So honestly, I mean, and the thing is this, also, this gift bag, oh, this is what kept me up last night because I was thinking about this and I was getting myself so angry, which maybe this is a good thing

because if there's something that can actually get under my skin, I think that's something I like in housewives shows. But first of all, the whole gift bag was not branded by Gen Alliance. There was one thing at the bottom of the bag that they pulled up that they found that had a Jenna Lyons collab. So that's like fine. And second of all, like, Jenna Lyons is probably thinking, oh, I'm doing these cool collabs.

Let me give some to my friends. I actually don't think that Jenna Lyons was like, oh, let me get some Instagram awareness from my friends from this. And if she was, who cares? She's gentle lines. She's so much bigger than you guys. Literally guys. She's winning. Like that's like me being mad that Julie Arobert is putting the name on the top of all of her movie. She's got movies. Like I'm literally paying to go to the movies. You guys, she's more famous than all of you.

The only one who has kind of some followers, I think at this point is this one. So I don have 10 followers. It's not like 400 grand, which is good, but I mean, in the scheme of things, you know, and she also never asked you to post shit. So give me a fucking break with it. So she's going on all about,

it's always poor people complaining, by the way. It's always like, I feel like it's always the poor people, but she's not poor, but I'm saying the poorer of the two out of Jenna and her would be poor. And I think it's always the poorer people complaining about cheap things. Like, you're sad that you're getting free things.

Why don't you just go fucking take a fly swatter into Costco and just start smacking old people on the head with them, no? Honestly, like, and I collab with Jenna Lyons, that's not like nothing. It's not like, you know, I went to the store and like, you know, like Jenna from like Starbucks is like, oh, hey, with your Starbucks,

let me give you a collab I did with my friend Sissy. And here's like the socks we made. You're like, okay, a collab with Jenna and Sissy, I don't, okay, but it's like Jenna Lyons, sort of do a Jenna and Jenna metaphor, I realize, that's confusing. But Jenna must be, you're like, it's not like it's like Jenna Lyons, sorry to do a Jenna and Jenna metaphor, I realize that's confusing. But Jenna must be, you're like, it's not like it's Jenna Bush.

It's not like it's fucking Jenna Bush asking you to wear some pantyhose for free. But the point is it's like someone who is in fashion who has a name for herself in fashion is like giving you, and she's found success in fashion, it's giving you a collab, that's like one small thing and you're like, oh my god, she's just using in fashion as giving your collab. That's like one small thing.

And you're like, oh my God, she's just using it for my influence. Like please. With your face, I'll tell you. With your face, I'll tell you. With your face,

oh my God, look at all the stuff that Fendi sent me because I need my influence so bad. I'm so sure. Something's not adding up over there. And then you'll cousin, by the way, my millennial cousin over the weekend, by the

way, said that J. Crew was cool again. So there, everyone. So now that was clamoring for collab, Si. But Jen has nothing to do with J. Crew. I know, but it's just, I'm going to take whatever evidence I can get, even if it's very tenuous. Well, um, J. Crew comes suck my dick my dick by the way with their $200 shirts. Your Jake Rook get the fuck over yourself.

Okay, also. So then Uba is like, oh my god, this girl has some tea for me. Hold on, let me drink the tea for the camera. Look at this tea. I'm wacky wild tea drink. This is wacky wild. We are wacky wild girls, T-flavor. Mmm.

T. I'm getting the T from her in the store. Oh yeah, and then she was trying to give us all this stuff that's like from a collaboration. Like, why the why was that? Oh my god, is that T you're making? Is that collaboration T or T? I was like, okay, we fucking get it. Could we cut away from Uber literally drinking the tea?

So yeah, Si's going on and on about this collab and how it's offended her and she's like, you know, unless you give me that cheese honey, I can't keep promoting you for free honey. I guess what that's a call back to the cheese thing because remember how people thought I didn't eat cheese, but I do eat cheese. Huh? remember that. And then over goes, no free lunch on my right. Look at me eating a slice of pizza, I just brought from the street

because I'm talking about lunch. Hello, props. Ha ha ha, we are hilarious. And then, yeah, size like, yeah, no free lunch. What are you talking about? You've literally demanded free lunch in every scene in this show. You've literally shown up somewhere and demanded a free lunch. What are you talking about? You've literally demanded free lunch in every scene in this show. You've literally shown up somewhere and demanded a free lunch. That's actually very true. That thing is how are you?

Yes. Then she explains to us because we're just so much of peons and morons who've never seen an Instagram before. She's like, okay. So it's a collaboration. That's one influential part, so it teams up with the brand. one in influential parts to team up with the brand and you get together You have a little exclusive collection, right? And Jenna's got tons of collapse, which is totally great But unless you're giving some of that cheese, I am promoting that all right a gift is from the heart Agenda lions gift is a marketing gift. Okay. What have you ever given anybody ever? Except I was wondering that too. Except a fucking brand Zeno on Thanksgiving when you don't serve a fanzino on Thanksgiving.

Ungrateful ass. Okay, it's always the takers who complain. And I'm sure you're gonna be walking out of that store with free shit. And I'm, again, I guarantee next season, she's gonna come out with the side socks and she's gonna give them to everyone, and she's gonna say it's coming from the heart,

because it's something that she worked on, yada yada yada. So, Jenna's, so let me see a flashback of side giving Jenna the business about the bag and everything. And Jenna was saying that like nothing in the bag is a collaboration, but then there's like something in the bag that is a collaboration. She goes, oh yeah, I forgot.

Okay. So then they start talking about Aaron. But also I love that she laughs about it. Like she doesn't care. They're all making fun of her and mocking her. And she's like, yeah, why do you think I'm shooting on this show with you fucking nobody's that nobody's ever heard of and nobody cares about? It's to promote this shit, okay?

So open your fucking bags and I'll continue to talk about my skin disease in the scene with you, okay? Thanks. So now I'm talking about Erin and about how Erin was like really mad at her for leaving the party early because she was hungry and it was like, oh yeah, I think that was really a few to do that by the way.

And so I was like, but I was hungry. You just, well, why don't you order pizza or something? Just order a pizza. I always keep a kind of coconut milk in my purse from restaurant pantries, just in case. Oh, look, I have a restaurant pantry in my purse. It's not crazy, we're talking about it right now. Wacky.

Ah, ha, ha, ha. I think Si was totally within her right to leave that party early. This is where I'm pro-Sci because there was no food Wacky. Ah. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I think Si was totally within her right to leave that party early. This is where I'm pro-Si because there was no food for her. She was hungry. She had to sit through a million boring-ass speeches. She definitely had to leave.

And you know if she had ordered pizza to the party, you would have gotten a whole another whole another round of errands saying, really pizza is my party. Like what is this? Is this the varsity soccer party after you win a game? This is my wedding. And you're ordering pizza to my wedding? I would be okay if we actually saw a shot of size stopping by to get a slice off the street or something.

But at this point, I don't believe that size obsessed with food. I believe that this is a typical housewives thing where the people who don't believe that size obsessed with food. I believe that this is a typical housewives thing where the people who don't eat are always talking about food. I think this is a Bethany Frankel thing or Bethany Frankel has a thing called Skinny Girl with a little stick figure that's obviously like some eating disorder ad.

And then people give her shit for it. And so she's constantly talking about how she needs to eat and then she'll like get popcorn and eat it like that meme of a person eating popcorn where they're just like like dancing because she needs to prove so bad to us that she's eating. I feel like size being like that way. She's talking about food and then she's not eating because she showed up to brands and by the way, I'm not really eating, disordering, shaming anybody. I'm just pointing it out because I think it's odd that the person who's always complaining about food,

the last party they walk into, there is a huge spread of food. It's like, oh, what is that oatmeal? Oh, now you specifically need a flavorless, low calorie thing to eat because there is a spread of food. I don't wanna hear about your food company. And honestly, like I said last week, all this stuff actually does lend more credence

to the very first argument of the season, which is that Erin, that sigh was denying that she said, she's that's weird. And now I 100% believe she did say that and she did refuse to eat whatever cheese was there. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying You know what I feel?

Like I still don't care. Yeah. Doesn't that weird? Like that fight was still terrible. So, okay. So anyway, they talk a little bit more about brain and whatever. It's stupid. So then we go to, this is what's so funny.

Now we go to Jenna. She's walking with her brother to 30 Rock. Rock a Feller Plaza, a Rock a Feller Center, whatever it's called. But they're at 30 Rock. And Jenna is, you know, they're reminiscing on visiting the Christmas tree when there were kids with their mom and Yada, Yada, Yada. And we find out, Jenna tells us that she's been working with Rockefeller Center to reinvigorate the center to bring in new retail, food and beverage and make the place feel a little cooler. So this person has enough influence with some in the world that Rockefeller Center said,

hey, please save us. So if Ask Jenna Lines to save Rockefeller Center and Si is like, oh God, no, I don't want to, God, she's trying to use me for influence. I'm like, I'm pretty sure, like I'm pretty sure she doesn't care about your $400,000 followers. She has Rockefeller Plaza trying to trying like begging for her attention right now. Jenna's like wandering around Rockefeller Plaza

on the city, the key to the city that's like been made into a hoverboard for her and her brother. She's just like, there's rock center. Yeah, you know, I wanted a bigger tree for them to maybe hang out. I thought maybe a bigger tree would be nice here. So yeah, we've doubled the size of the tree.

So there's that. We actually ended up, I got to take out the rock heads. I thought that was a little old. So we actually hung the live rock heads as ornaments from that gigantic tree now. So I did that. So what do you think? And her brother's like, great. Yeah, we also got rid of the skating rink. A lot of injuries, and we just made it a mud pit, and we told people from Burning Man just to go in there,

and then we trapped them there for several weeks. Yeah, look at that older white lady with that pink dreadlocks down there. She's like, I don't mind love, I'm having a great time. Tell Bronwyn I want her. So what's also funny is, so she's saying that she was brought in, like the mandate is to find more retail that looks like what New York really is. So more female on business, more black on business. Black on business is more push and boot-owned businesses.

Because then as she says, there's a giant picture of Puss and Boots behind her. Like, well, they keep trying to efficient Boots finally gets a chance. I was just laughing because every time she said like female on business, they cut to like FAO shorts, black-owned business FAO shorts. Latino on business FAO shorts. I'm like, you know, this is really not supporting what you're saying. They just keep showing the official shorts. I just wrote, poor Michael Cors.

I'm glad somebody's keeping the Corses there too. She's like, you know what, when are TAN people? When are overly spray TAN people gonna get their say in this city? Finally, we're bringing Michael Cors, playing the piano with his legs. In the FAO shorts, it from the giant piano. God, you know what, Sephora just can't catch a break in my ride. We just need more retail that represents all aspects of New York City.

And that includes people who wear black t-shirts and blazers and complain about people dressing like Holly Hobbie. She looks like Holly Hobby. I always remember. I'm always wearing a children, which is why I'm gonna try and get a McKenzie's child in here. You know, we were really invigorating the city. I was like, these are the widest people,

owned the stores I've ever seen in my life. But okay, I'll go with you. Cause at this point, I don't know, Jenna's trolling us. You know, Jenna says a lot of things that I'm going to listen. I know everybody's licking Jenna's asshole all over the place and I get it. And I kind of am amused by Jenna so far in this show as well. And I'm glad she's here. I don't know that I believe everything that Jenna says.

You know, this like walking around saying she invigorated it. What's new? There is nothing new. I lived in that city for 15 years. I don't see anything new in there. Was there not a pizza coffee there before? She's like, wow, you know, good morning America. I've decided to put an actual instead of a wall. We move them downstairs and we put a window. So now people can say, oh, like they already had that gen out.

Why are you pretending that you invented Rockefeller Center? Yeah, I just thought it was it would have been probably smarter if the producers had cut to some of the businesses that she had invited into Rockefeller Center instead of like, if they were shorts and micro-courses, because that's all we saw. So, but either way, I just thought it was so finally getting a chance. I just thought it was so funny that like, Si is bitching about Jenna. And Jenna's just like operating on just such a higher level than Si, you know. And like I would be personally very excited

if I received like a collab from Jenna Lyons. It's like, it's like turning down, okay, I'm not saying that she's at the level of Donatella Versace, but it's like sort of the same thing. We're imagining if like Donatella Versace gave me a thing. Oh, here's something I collab with someone. So like a young designer, I'm like, Oh, Donatella, we're imaginative, like Don Teller Versace gave me a thing, oh here's something I collab with someone, so like a young designer, I'm like, oh Donatella, we're supposed to be friends.

I can't believe you'd give me like a collaboration of yours. It's like, I would be pretty happy if I had that. How long was Jenna Lyon's at J Crew? I'm trying to look, but everything's trying to turn me. I think it was like 10 or, I don't know, well she said that she was in, she had, she said I had one job in one industry for 27 years So I don't know if she was at jcru for 27 years, but like she definitely was there for a long time That's crazy says she was the director and president of jcru for in 2010 until 2017

I think she famously was like it was 23 years, so I'm confused I'm not calling her a liar. I'm just asking her what she did Yeah, and then they oh she started as an assistant when she was 21. Wow So yeah, I'm by 2003 she was J. Cruz vice president Pretty good guys. It's pretty good. Just curious. Just curious. Pretty good corner. Wikipedia just doesn't get enough attention in this world, guys. I want to just shine a light on it.

Okay. Wikipedia owned websites. Okay, so Jennifer's Jennifer. Jenna goes and sits down. By the way, her brother is, you know that this is true family because your true family is just so unimpressed by you. You know what I mean?

No matter who you are. And that's how her brother is. He's like, great Jenna. He's a great job revamping the middle of the city, I guess. Can we sit? Still never got any royalties for naming you Jenna. Not the, I don't know if there can be royalties, but I feel like I should have gotten some. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial

So they're in a restaurant and Jenna saying that she's never been on a girl's trip before and she's not going to get She's not gonna get into a bathing suit or anything because she's like I'm literally gonna wear Tweed pants and a blazer at the pool, which is very J-Crew summer 2023. And he's like, well, I think you might change when you get out of this heart of winter and you get some place warm, you might want to, whatever. And she basically doesn't want to be in front of the girls

in a bathing suit because of her genetic disorder, which causes her to have all sorts of, she has bald spots, she has connectular teeth. And then in case we didn't believe her, the producers were kind enough to give us an X-ray close-up of her teeth. This is like your her teeth. And- Well, the way she's in the lion's shoes.

This is a lion's shoes. She's serious in that thing. Okay, this is general lion's shoes, and I think she's like, I have a genetic disorder. Shot of genetic disorder. I have this like pigmentation that it- This shot of pigmentation. And it affects my hair and my teeth shot of teeth

That are like this. I was like, oh my god. And then later they show her she let the cameras into surgery Wash she was getting all that gnarly shit done on her teeth. Oh, what I would just it's annoying because you can't even judge her like everybody else Because they're jumping on her about every little thing and like every other little thing they jump on on this show, it's false. They keep telling us she's not sharing anything. I'm like she's literally shared her whole life story and every single bit of fame. Like she's literally mixing

Heraka Feller Center segment, which would be basically an entire episode on any other housewives with like a bad pigment and bad teeth. So, yeah, everybody. Do you realize like, like we watched an entire season of Doreet revamping a room in a bouquet of beppo and in Sino and we hear it have Jenna Lyon just casually revamping Rockefeller Center in like one scene, she was like, oh yeah, I'm just doing this.

Like that is the level that Jenna Lyon is working on and I'm not she was like, oh yeah, I'm just doing this. Like that is the level that a Jenna Lions is working on. And I'm not saying it like, oh my God, amazing icon, but I'm just saying she just had a different tier than some of these people. And you know, this cast is so self-involved, and of course they're gonna say that Jenna doesn't share because they spend so much time thinking about themselves. I feel like they don't even ask her anything.

Yeah, so then Jenna's like, well, I mean, I know it's just a genetic disorder, but it just makes me like, look dirty. And people think of dirty. I just remember going to not spare a farm and some girls saying, God, our skin looks so dirty. And I just could never wash off the shame of going to not spare a farm. Like, why was I there? Of course we'd have to go to Notsbury.

You have to fix that. I'm going to go in there and fix their farm. So her whole thing is that she likes to get a tan in the summer because the tan sort of makes the scarring not as apparent. It's not as much for contrasts, etc. And so she's looking forward to getting a tan down in Anguela, and she also has to get her teeth done. And this has been like a six-year journey of multiple, multiple surgeries to fix her teeth, and she's had eight bone grafts, three sinus lips, multiple implants. She's on what, number surgery, number 13 or something,

and then she has, that's only for the top, and now she has through the bottom. So she's clearly doing, there's like a lot she has to deal with with her mouth. It's crazy because not only is she kind of above the cast in this show, she's like her own TLC show, because I feel like TLC shows are like those dramatic,

like, and then she had to have her teeth done 27 times and then you see Terry DeBro like you know Taking a sharpie to her boobs and she's like wait a minute. I'm here for my bone graft on my teeth sir But yeah, it's a lot of shows and mixed into one so she's talking about how she's gonna do that So she's anxious to go to on Quilla and have to be in a bathing suit around these girls. And she's like, you know, can I just travel with somebody to airbrush me live? I mean, that would be amazing. And he goes, well, look at you.

New teeth and rocket, rocket feller center. So this has been great. Can't wait to go back to my job. Run in the bowling alley. You're buying this hot chocolate, right? Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, tell ya. So now it's like, now it's Christmas Eve, and now we see pictures of everyone celebrating the holidays

with their friends and family. And then we wind up in Los Angeles on December 27th, and Brynn and her brother, Darius, are taking a hike into Mexico Canyon. And Darius, I guess, lives in Seoul, Korea. And they meet in LA for the holidays, because it's like a middle point for them. So they're hiking around.

And- Can I just say they say they do this every year, and I'm not calling them liars or anything. But guys, you do this every year, and you still don't know how to hike in the canyon. Like literally you park in the parking lot and there are trails. These two idiots are like, hey, oh my god, we have to go up the side of this mountain and they start climbing up the side of the canyon where there's not a cliff and they're like, well, to do it,

what is this? I don't understand there's wide paths that people of all ages and abilities can go up. So, Darius calls Brian a woman of mystery. He's like, so he's like, what are you doing? Like, I see your Instagram and it looks weird. I know you should look at her fucking LinkedIn, Darius. Or Darius. Come on, get with it.

I was hoping that we'd finally get some insight into her life and she's like, well, I'm at this point in my life where like, I'm like, oh shit, I'm 36, I'm not married. No kids and the other 80% is like, I'm like, okay, I'm 36 and I'm no kids, I'm single and I have like, I have the means, I can go to a light travel wherever I want.

Ah. Yeah, I'm back on her. You guys why can't I stop looking at her LinkedIn? Do you know what's online? Literally nothing. Okay, so he's like, yeah, she's like, you know, 20% of the time I'm like 30 things, but then I'm like gonna go to Paris for Miami

and then I'm like, I feel better again, cause I could just call friends. I can just call friends and I can just go places, because I have no kids. And guess, were you ever gonna get settled? And she's like, well, you know, I will. Like tomorrow, if I meet the right person, and I mean, I would have been divorced three times,

and not because of the other person. It's just, like, I just keep winning the lottery, and then I just throw it all away. Which I don't know. I think a lot of people consider that guy that we saw in the Rolls Royce store at the lottery. you know? It's like an old weathered up. Yeah, Gideon. Like an old weathered huge acumen that's rich and it's just some lonely guy who can't find true love. Like, should I spend money on a Rolls Royce? Or should I not? No, like,

go find somebody that like makes you laugh. That's not just like a sad person in a Rolls Royce store. Am I the only person who doesn't want like a saddle weathered up chicken bone in a Rolls Royce? Yeah I have doubts about Gideon. I mean he was very charming and cute and he had that cute smile. But again like all he didn't really talk with her. He just sort of gave really a made-for-TV compliments like my recollection is when I saw you on Tinder, you're the most beautiful woman on episode of my life. And then let's not forget that she was dating someone else and he orchestrated some ridiculous thing where he played a beautiful version of 500 miles in front of like the Waldorf Astoria or something like that and then won her over. This is not someone who has actually any concerns about any interest in you as a person. This is someone who wants to place you into the picture of the fairy tale picture

of his life that he has created in his mind. And so I agree. I think Gideon is no good. And it's also vice versa. Like you have to be around someone you want to fucking watch Netflix with and fart on their face like to be funny. You know what I mean? Like not somebody that looks like sad old, you know, weathered Hugh Grant, you know, just the sadness of it all. I don't know, not just Hugh Grant made me feel sad. The picture of her wedding ring, like her gigantic engagement ring with the huge diamond posed right next to the Porsche symbol, like to me, that's just the saddest shit I've ever seen in my life.

Like, that's not love, you know? Someone giving you a dutch oven. That's true. So, anyway, so she's just talking about like, oh, you know, commitment and engagement, all the stuff, you know, she's like, I just want to get married and pull the goalie and have a kid, yada, yada, yada. And then, um, their childhood sucks, you know, this is the basic, that's the story here. Right. Yeah, like they're both traumatized because of their childhood. And she's like, you know, and so subconsciously to me, family is bad. And we didn't get it in love from the people we're supposed to, you know, and we didn't get love

from the people we're supposed to, and he's like, yeah, and I am better at compartmentalizing and getting over it, and you're better at just getting rings from multiple old sad people. Everybody has their thing that we're good at. You know what I mean? Put it on your LinkedIn, okay. You're kinked in.

So you put everything else on there. Help design machines that were on a team that if you put a dollar a sprinkles cupcake, may or may not come out dryly or wetly. Always dryly. Let's face it. Always dryly. Yeah. So basically family is trauma for them. And she runs at the prospect of family because, you know, trauma, et cetera.

So now it's too easy. And wait until you get older, you're gonna start going, oh my God, trauma, I can't wait to visit that for Thanksgiving. This trauma's not gonna be alive for very much longer. You know what, I can't wait to bring this trauma, a box of Francia and just let it call me fat in 37 different ways. This is gonna be the

matter. So, and you just soon you just learned to embrace your trauma because you know it's gonna be dead soon. It's what I'm trying to say. So everybody out there hug your trauma. I'll get it. So, now it's two weeks later and we're in New York City and we're at Jenna's penthouse. So Aaron comes over and she's like, I literally just finished making you butternut squash soup and it's warm. So yeah, cackling hags.

Let's see a cackling hagg make some soup like this because let's not my check, they don't do that. Aaron, just there out of the kindness of her heart, surely she's'm gonna take anything you say and use it against you to try and villainize you to a bunch of people who already don't like you very much for no reason. Aaron, what a good fucking person. So's got a ton of books on her shelves. Frankly, I don't know that I buy it. I believe that she's more of a Kindle person. I'm just going to go and say it right now. So Aaron comes over and she's, Jenna's like, oh my god, you are so sweet. I'm like so awkward, like normally, I just, I'm not used to people being in my house.

This is like embarrassing, but just don't want people to see me in bed. I'm like just really overplaying her awkward thing. And Aaron jumps in her bed and she tells us Jenna just had dental surgery. And like, I just got my first cavity three months ago. Like, that's like how rich I am. Like the dentists were so good, they would send Gwyneth over with like a little you pick just to get theiies out before they even started when I was growing up at a three-linked center.

So yeah, Brad Pitt literally taught me how to floss. You know when they talk about like J-Lo as she's flossing, she literally was flossing me. So yeah, she says, Jenna just had dental surgery and I got my first cavity like three months ago and I don't know what she's going through, but it sounds traumatic like so you just kind of want to flex You're doing a little bit of a flex like wow Jenna's not to have like 13 procedures I've only just had my first cavity so sucks to be her here

So I'm not a wash soup. I wish you had better parents who took you to the dentist more But you know what I just want to make her feel loved because like The soup isn't married, so it's inappropriate to suggest that she swallows it because I'm not inappropriate. Like Bryn was, if I were to, but she was inappropriate, totally embarrassed me.

So I've ruined my life. I think we can all agree that soup is under season. I'm just saying so. So that Jenna says, well, I've seen friend Aaron, which is awesome and now I'm seeing Mama Aaron. And she's like sweet and nurturing. And she keeps smiling really widely at me and pointing at her teeth, which seemed to be

rather perfect. And then she's saying, no cavity over and over again. Like wow, I guess she wins an award or something. You got me. You never had a cavity. Great. So, Tennis, like, um, honestly, it's been way worse. So, I mean, the

important thing is like, you look great. I mean, you look so tanned. And Aaron's like, I got a lot of sun, you know, because, you know, like family vacations, sun. Sorry. We just went on a family vacation. Um, we actually won it through the airline company. They said whoever has the least tartar plaque and cavities gets a free vacation. It was us. Gwyneth Paltrow flew the plane. Goop airlines. So yeah, she's like, yeah, she's like,

I was like, I might not even come because I don't even need this on because I already, I guess I kind of already did the Caribbean thing like before everyone else did. So I don't know, I guess I'm like a trend setter with Caribbean stuff. And Jenna's like's like oh so you're not gonna come She's like well I thought about it. Ha ha ha ha and Jenna's like why she's well, I don't know That you know that just all felt you felt all icky before with the reth making so Jenna's like oh, I didn't realize how upset you were Until you actually left and she's, and then I realized like,

wow, that person with the perfect teeth really does seem to be bothered. It's almost like she has nothing in the world that else to fill the void. Like maybe if she had multiple dental surgeries, she had to worry about she wouldn't get so worked up in a tizzy over something stupid like her party, but she has nothing going on in her life.

So she has to get mad right now because she does nothing more pressing. Aaron is like, she's finished. Aaron's like, you know, like, I just like that day was so icky and like we were making reels and like I was being bullied and none of you said anything about it. Like no, I'm not one of you. I said, I mean, I was like, you were not being fucking bold shut up, Aaron. And Jenna's like, well, I mean, look, I just kind of brin and I just think like playful, 30, sad.

No, when she's sad. And I'm like, this she hurts people so you don't like she doesn't care. And then I was like, yeah, but like, I mean, it's okay if you're making a say, but her overall feelings, like, I mean, that attitude, it just caught me. I mean, it's one thing after another with her.

So I'm having my like second wedding night, 10 years after my first one, and getting a whole other round of gifts, and making people listen to two hours of speeches at a party that's literally all about me and I didn't have to pay time for it. And you know what I'm feeling? Not grateful. That's what I'm feeling right now. And it's mostly her fault.

And she's like talking about divorced with my husband and wife swapping, and like she's gonna be my stepmom. It's just not constant. It's called having a sense of humor. You fucking humorless cow. Like how does anybody watch this? How is anybody watching this and not losing their fucking mind with this lady? Still you're fucking going on. Still you went on your fucking Caribbean vacation with 19 families and came back with you and all your children Tanned in the middle of winter in New York City and you're still finding something to complain about. Are you fucking kidding? And then I read that she didn't that's not even when she got married. The sleep in her anniversary if she got married in July. Oh,

I can't with this person your fake ass stupid party and your fake ass reason for being mad at everybody. You know what? Read the four agreements. be grateful and it's also not about you. That's at least two of them there. I just gave them to you for fucking free. So then she says, you know what, I just want Bren to say, sorry, I was a cut fitness. And I was like, wow, you got so mad at just saying, cackling hags. And you're just throwing out the seawood. Serens like, I don't use that word lightly. I mean, it's definitely not as bad as cackling hags. And you're just throwing out the C word. Serons like, I don't use that word lightly.

I mean, it's definitely not as bad as cackling hags. But after talking about divorce, I just came with her. Did you catch what you said about how pissed she is? Jenna says, oh, because I'm going early. And Jenna's like, she's, so now we find out that Jenna wants to go down early to Anguilla, so that way she can get a tan and that before anyone sees her. So then we see a flashback of Jessel talking to Brynn and Jessel's like, oh, Brynn, did

you hear that my dear, good best friend, Slash sister? Jenner Lyons is coming early, coming early to Anguilla. And then we see a text that Jenner sent to groups that says, guys, heads up. I'm like really awkward, like, sending this text, I've never just, I've never sent a text to just like, all girls before, here goes, fingers crossed. I'm gonna go to early Monday,

because I wanna like get a tan and acclimatine on, I just, I don't wanna feel like poop guys. And so I was like, diva match. And Uber says, oh my God, that's wacky. I can come with you if you need vitamin D literal picture of vitamin D that I'm holding right now for this joke. And then Aaron writes back, you love vitamin D eggplant emoji hilarious.

And then it was actually plus the eggplant emoji in parentheses to be like, in case you didn't get my joke, here it is more explicitly. And now we have Brynn is talking to Jess on the phone, and she goes, why do you need like two days to get into vacation mode? And Jess also says,

oh, she has to set up her loveson lashes. So I'm being naughty going against my friends, Jita. And Brynn's like, she's like a div-va and to sky. So then we cut back and Jan is like, I mean, but besides like, not having my teeth, my skin is like 20 different colors. And it's just like, it's just so noticeable

when I'm not town. So like, if I just like had one day to go up there and like, I don't know, like town, like nobody could see me. I'm gonna like go to the beach I'm gonna have like tan lines of fingers on my face because I'm gonna be covering my eyes all the time because it's gonna be so awkward Like being there on a beach without the people which I've never done before Crazy I can't Aaron's like you're crazy that you think that this is her way of saying like I Really wasn't listening to whatever you were saying

So I'm just gonna say something generic So Jenna's like these winter beautiful and they all have beautiful incredible bodies and incredible skin And if I don't get a tan I just know of it wearing like long gloves long sleeves and long pants all the time and I don't want that and she doesn't want to be self-conscious But she also she's like also to be honest with you You're gonna be you're gonna hate me for this but since since we're really good friends, I know you won't use this against me. I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I also don't want to fly coach. Seren's like, shut the fuck up. Are you kidding? You wouldn't fly coach. Are you kidding?

Cackling hugs. Cackling hugs. And Jenna goes, I mean, I will flake out, if I have to, I just don't really want to. And then I was like, but there's no first class on our plane. The plane doesn't even have first class. And then she goes, yeah, I know, but there's another flight on another day that does have first class.

So I'm gonna go on that day. And she tells us that her motivation was the tan originally, but the bonus was business class, lucky her. Okay. First of all, I'm on team Jenna. I'm gonna be on team Jenna the rest of this episode. So just so I'm not kissing us too much, that's bullshit. There are such things as tanning beds.

You could go to a fucking tanning bed and you could tan whatever. You don't owe these people any explanation. Just say I'm going early, the end. I don't want trips with my friends and I say guess what? I'm going early and I'm going to get different Airbnb with you. You know why? You smell and I don't like you and I'm too good for you. And I don't want to be in a place without their smelly people.

I want to be a place where I'm the only smelly that been used person there. I'm gonna go into my place and I'm gonna get my smell all over the house and I'm gonna poop whenever I want to. I don't need to fucking explain myself to you about it. So there. There. Yeah, I think she is totally within her rights

because she's not showing up late to the trip. She's actually going down early, so who the hell cares? So Aaron is like, I am shocked. showing up late to the trip, she's actually going down early. So who the hell cares. So, so Aaron is like, I am shocked. This is a level of diva. I didn't know she had. It's a three hour flight. You really care that much that you're going early in the week just to snag the last business class flight. I'm like, yeah, so she can afford it. She wants to do it. It's not a reflection on you. Why not? It's not even for the bigger seats.

The biggest win there, if she doesn't have to sit by you cackling, fucking hags. She's got you on one side complaining about a wedding. You didn't even fucking deserve to have. Then you've got S.I. on the other side of her. They probably had her peanuts and sighs like, what? I'm not putting you on my Instagram. Get the fuck out of here with that What do I look like what what is this a fucking freebie? What are you gonna hand me a free diet coke next get the fuck out of here?

Yeah, I Don't see why this is I'm like it's Jenna lions She's like she's already like an existing celebrity like letter of life business also you're on housewives And I'm so embarrassed for you guys, like trying to take pride in codes. You said I'll be ashamed of you. Like, I'm literally ashamed to even leave you right now. Well, it's also what's funny is there's this almost an attempt to be like, wow, like you can't be grounded, you can't be chilled, like even though we're wealthy,

we're still of the people we can fly code. I'm like, I don't know, are you of the people? I mean, you're just we're talking about how you went down to the Dominican Republic with all these families and you got so much tan there that you may just not, it just may not be in you to go down to Anguilla to get some more of it. I mean, it just is so ridiculous. Well, I think what they're really complaining about is this is a business. This is a job where they're all supposed to fly on this shitty coach

ride together. And I think the rest of them are like, okay, we'll go on coach even though we're going on some stupid trip we didn't plan. And we're not, you know, you guys aren't buying this first class tickets. They all want to go business too. Yes. Well, they think that Jenna can do whatever she wants. Like, they all have to fly together. They all have to shoot together, but Jenna Lyons is gonna go up early, probably get her own shooting time. And it's like another example, they probably feel like we're Jenna gets to do whatever she wants.

She gets to miss another day of work, just like she missed that party to spend time with her son and have her own family seen while they all had to show up to this stupid party together. So I think probably behind the scenes, that might be what it is, like maybe John Alliance is getting special treatment or something. But again, you know, demand your special treatment and book your own first class trip another day, early here or whatever.

You know, it's not my fault. It's not my fault, you're not special. It's yours. No one told me I was special. I told them. So figure it out. There you go. Yeah, that's what you learn you're not special. It's yours. No one told me how special I told them. So figure it out There you go. Yeah, that's what see that's what you learned at a Beyonce concert That brings us to the end of part one of real housewives of New York City We will be back tomorrow or not tomorrow right now. Just go check. We're back with part two. Thanks for being here guys

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