Watch What Crappens - RHONY Season 13 Reunion

Episode Date: September 23, 2021

Bravo shocked the world when they announced there'd be no reunion for season 13 of The Real Housewives of New York. The network blamed this on scheduling conflicts, but we sniffed around and discovered a massive coverup. Turns out the cast did actually come together to tape the reunion, but the results were so vile and embarrassing that the network shelved the episode. Luckily, we managed to get our hands on the only surviving audio; so we present it to you here EXCLUSIVELY and uncensored. Listen and enjoy.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm your host, Andy Cohen. Welcome to the season 13 reunion of Real Housewives of New York City! Hi Ramona! Hi Andy, how are you today okay? Doing great Ramona! Notice you're not wearing your mask today! You know what? I don't whip masks on the ocean and you know what the studio is very close to an ocean I'm sorry but that's just geography okay.

You're a woman. Hi Sonia. Oh hi Andy, how's it going? Great Sonia looks like you got a new face and one new boob love both of them. Oh thanks Andy, you know I've really been working on one of my eyes wasn't closing at the same time as my other eye, so I ended up getting that done. And then I noticed one of my boobs was lower, so I actually ended up getting that done to Andy.

And the magic secret is, it was done with the new kind of material that I can also use as a hot pad. Oh, she's out of control. We need to do an intervention. We need to do an intervention. Ramana, don't you think she's just out of control right now? You know what? So many snuts. The other day, I was making a macaroni and cheese at my house,

and she actually took it out with the bulb, Andy, so she may be that, but she's not lying. Guy! Wow! That's a great story. Hi, Luann. How are you doing? Happy birthday to... Actually the happy birthday song is the birth of the happy birthday song I would like to thank Irving Dilliceps for writing that one. Thank you Irving. Now are you planning on using happy birthday and you're upcoming Christmas album?

Yes, Andy, and it's actually going to be sung by Batman learned Lady Gaga, who bring in the Anne Friends! She couches in friends! Great! Ebony, how are you? I'm doing wonderful, Andy. I'm excited to have conversations. I'm excited to grow as a group and really get to know each other better. Wow, that's really great, Abiny. You know, you're looking great with your new hair. It looks like you've also got new family, so congrats on that, Muzzle. Thank you, Andy.

I appreciate that greatly. My new family is wonderful. They're an inspiration to me And do everyone around me and we'll have an interview with them coming up after the weather Lea Yeah, you're looking great. You're smirkin' a little you know little little smile goes along way Yeah, you doing over there. Yeah Um, I'm like fine. I guess I'm like Jewish so I'm like you so I'm basically like a

Lady version of you Andy Cohen except on my gay, but I can work on that too Well, congrats Leah. Welcome to the brood. All right, you know what? We're just gonna call you Tavia for the rest of this reunion All right, well in a season of COVID New York City shutdown, but could anyone get the real housewives of New York City to shut up? Let's take a look. You called me a grandmother. Whoa, whoa, I have vertigo and I'm gonna fall over, okay? You are a clown. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo and you have bit, arguably one of the most intelligent people that we've ever had on the show,

you have a law degree, you're an accomplished broadcaster. I gotta ask you this. Are you boob's real? My boobs both went to Yale, actually, Andy. Thank you for asking. They're both very real and they are both very educated. Are you calling my breast stupid? How dare you! Well I can't believe it. I mean, here I am, minding my business with my two perfectly intelligent breasts, and now you're saying they're uneducated and unclassy.

Well, you have very angry breast, Ebony. Alright, we'll get to that later. Now everybody, we started the season off at Sonya's Townhouse. Sonya, her friends were ageing, me too, me too drinking and bargo, but who could stop drinking while being tormented by Wells Fargo, Sonya? Tell us a little bit about what you were doing back at that townhouse this season. Well, it was really great. I mean, I learned so much during the summer when, you know, we learned about race and everything,

so I went to my backyard and I taught my fish. I said, listen, be nice to other fish and listen to other fish. And I think we've just gotten so, so ahead in our fish tank. I mean, it's just wonderful, Andy. I've learned so much. So, Nia, minting from Milwaukee wants to know, don't you think it's ignorant trying to lecture people about diversity through fish? Well, Andy, no, actually, you know, I love documentaries because I'm an

intelligent comedian, thinker of the universe. And one of my favorite documentaries ever was a film called Blackfish. Ebony, have you seen that one? I sure have, Sonia. Very good film. Very good. And I just wanted to say that film deserved an Oscar. And that's when I found out that there isn't even this country for diversity among fish

Andy. Actually, I think a whale is a mammal. Well, you know, aren't we all mammals and fished when you really think about it? That's the problem. You know, I don't see genuses and families, right? I just see things with fins, and I want to fuck them all. You know, it's better that than Ramona, who will only post a fish on her Instagram. If it's a killer Orco whale, Andy, she will only post a blackfish on her Instagram.

There I said it. You know what? I'm sorry. Okay, you know I spent a lot of time the year in Florida and they have a wonderful restaurant called SeaWorld. You go in and you pick out the fish you want to eat and turns out they've got a very large beautiful fish called Shamu. And I said you know what?

I want that for dinner. I'm gonna take a selfie with it. I wasn't trying to press anyone. Okay, it was an orca. I thought it was for dinner. It turns out in attraction. I'm sorry. It was a mistake You can't make a mistake these days. Suddenly you're gonna get canceled. Is that the deal? Okay. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I didn't realize All right, well Sonya This season we started at your townhouse. You seemed a little depressed and the wind in Sonya

came at you a little bit for ignoring them during the shooting break. Well Andy, you know, listen, I mean, I have plenty of fans, I have plenty of people. I've walked down the street and I hear, come to scourges! But do I really have anybody who's not only been

a paradise but been to Lou, and you know Andy, when you find a Sonya, you need to hold her close Andy and Sonya just hurt my feelings it not a call you didn't call you didn't write not that I really read letters anyway but you didn't sing I mean nothing Sonya nothing well you know I didn't be out first of all there was that one boob lived I was doing which unfortunately meant I couldn't use my hands for about 6 months. I don't know if you realize that but your boobs and your fingers are attached by the same nerve. So understandably I had to be on full finger bed rest.

So that's why I really couldn't write to you. Also I was just very upset because I saw that famous Gilligan's Island actress Dawn Wells had died and then I started watching Fargo, which is a great show, and you know, between the Wells and the Fargo, oh my god, the Wells and the Fargo, keep it in the family, I keep it in the family, no way. I had to mention Century 21 went bankrupt, Andy, and you know, that was really, really hard for me. Andy, I'd finally got my clothes into a beautiful store. I mean, everybody went to Century 21, you know, and then to have that gone.

And now I'm just selling on a little old store called the Internet. I mean, who goes there, Andy? Who goes there? You know, they told me that my clothes would be at Century 21 forever. But that's when I realized I thought I was selling it forever 21. It was a big misunderstanding. Well, Luan and Ramona came upon a true season where seasons passed, they kinda hated each other,

but this season they were back in each other's graces and not in each other's faces. Lil. Well, you know Andy, if we're gonna be with Sonya, we have to worry about Sonya so much, we can't just be at each other's throat Andy. And you know, I find one thing that brings friends together is really teaming up against a third friend about alcoholism. Yeah, you know what? When I heard that there was a global pandemic going on,

I said, what we can do with all the pandas running to the street? It's a pandemic. And I thought, you know what, that's when you need to have an ally. And turns out the lands are good ally. She's big and tall like an oak tree. And she has just as much charisma. And I thought, good, they'll go after her first before they come after me. So she became a perfect friend during this time. Okay. She shits like she's on ally all the time. How dare you, there? You know, what? You're not being very ladylike over there. I would appreciate if you didn't say the word shit. Kai, I dropped some makeup on the floor. That's all it was.

It was makeup on the floor. What was the, with the floor, like making up its face for a shep prom? Because that was what was all over the floor. Your shit. Wow, lots of unpack there, including toilet paper. I want to talk about the Hamptons. So, early on in the season, you guys headed to Ramona's house for the first of 45 different episodes, and you guys decided to have a Burning Man party. Does anyone here know what Burning Man is? Ebony, do you know what burning man is? Well, um, I'd like to think it's a man who's just stayed in the tanning bed for a

little too long Andy. You know, none of us wants to date one of those, you know. Speaking of us very lonely without my boyfriend who chose his children over me during the pandemic, could you imagine Andy? Could you, he chose his children over me? Wow. And unfortunately, we only explored that for you imagine, Andy, could you, he chose his children over me. Wow. And unfortunately, we only explored that for five minutes in one episode, the beginning of the season. Sonia, what do you think about Burning Man? Well, I don't know about Burning Man, but I got a Burning Bush. I'm not talking about the biblical kind. How about that? Put that in your show, Luan. How about that? Actually, in the religion of Judaism, which I am now a master,

the burning bush told Moses to murder his own son. You know what? I totally get it. Okay, because one time I caught my best friend, Sister Sushdora, Afri trying on one of my net dresses, and I said, you know what? You better get out of my net dress. And she said, you know what? You better get out of my net dress. And she said, you know what? You're a stupid old lady and I wish you weren't my mother.

And I said, you know what? A bush told me to burn you. And then I turned on the stove and I put a tortilla on it until it was on fire and then I threw it in her face. Okay, you know what? I'm not proud of it. Guy, I'm not proud of it, Ambi. Wow.

So none of you guys know what Burning Man is, which explains why that party was so embarrassing to watch. Okay, Leah, first of all, are you doing okay because technically this reunion did not start off with the scene in your apartment. Are you doing okay? Can you process this? Well, it's a little weird.

Do you mind if like my sister and my brother come over and then we talk about like how weird Mom is and like all that stuff can we just do that instead? No! Okay, fine. Well, actually I'm here Andy, so if anybody wants to ask me any question, who invited the girl who cut to her own bangs? Okay, get her off this stage, okay? You're not the real housewives of anything. This doesn't take place in Brooklyn, okay? No one has money for a helicopter to make it to any kind of set that you'd be on, okay? Maybe with the creepy bangs. Now Ramona, when you're hosting all the women at your burning man party, you couldn't do it all yourself. You can do real estate, you could poop on the floor, but there's

one thing you can't do, serve your own food. So you invite, so you hired someone to help you out. Do you know that woman's name? Yes, Andy. I know the woman's name. Name? It's Diana, Andy. It's not Diana. It's not Diana, Andy.

Actually, we had a big, long conversation. Her name is not Diana. Okay. You know what? Her name is Priscilla. And she's the queen of the dessert. is not Diana. Okay, you know what? Her name is Priscilla. And she's the queen of the dessert. That's it. Okay, her name is Priscilla.

You know what, her name is Maria Conchita Alonzo. And she's very famous. And she decided to help me because I got famous friends. That literally was not even her. You know what, her name is? Help me Henderson, okay? Say it because she's the help. I'm sorry, okay? You know what, I got? Help me Henderson, okay? Set because she's the help. I'm sorry, okay?

You know what? Y'all that's so much for saying to help. I can't even watch the help on TV anymore. You know what, Andy? I was on a website the other day. I was trying to get some food delivered to me. And it wasn't working, kept freezing. And so I scrolled to the bottom.

There was a little button that said help. And you know what I did? I screamed, you racist button. I don't even even care and I didn't even get my food to live it. I am be set. Yeah I've learned so much and the other day I was walking down the street and I saw a Academy of War Winter, Octagon Spanza and I said you know what I loved you in that movie whose name I can't say because I'll get canceled okay. Oh my god please don't God, please don't cancel me, please don't cancel me. All right, well, we probably won't cancel you

unless we are canceled because you're showing your boobs and we haven't had time to blur it out. Okay, everyone, I'm in Sonya, you can lower your blouse. All right, so here we are still at the Hamptons weekend party. Call someone to help and Leah got upset with you. So here we are still at the Hampton's weekend party. Call someone to help and Leah got upset with you. I don't even remember why Leah got upset with you.

Leah, do you remember why you got upset with Ramona? I think it was just like a general help thing, Andy, because I really started off this season really close with Ramona. I just don't know where things went wrong, Andy. Okay, I'll tell you where things went wrong. She is old and a secret trumper and you are young and hate trumpers, so I think that's where things went wrong between you two. Oh yeah, I guess I guess I could be at.

Alright, well, then up it's the winery. Went to the winery, okay. Andy, Andy, me and her up. Yes, yes, of course. I just wanna say, my grandmother is the person who got me the most, and she was the closest person to me, and I told her, before she died, I would bring her up every 10 minutes for the rest of my life.

And my alarm just went off. So I just want to say, Grandma, this shout out is for you. See you in 10 minutes. Thank you. Well, you wetly, I just want to say, I'm so sorry about your grandma because she was the only person that really got you and that really loved you and it was really there for you She was the only person that gave a crap with you Breathe when you lived you died with you had breakfast with you were even eating anything

Okay, and now you're all alone at the world and nobody loves you Nobody likes nobody can even stand being a branch Okay Andy can I hug Leah can I hug Leah? Can I hug Leah, Andy? Sure, I'd love to see some girl and girl action. Yeah! I just have to say that if Leah had to sing a song with her grandmother, I guarantee she wouldn't ask for a contract. There, I put it out there. Yes, she would have. She didn't even go into heaven until she got a good contract to make sure she had the best room

Andy You know what this is your pain speaking pain people make pain okay All right, so we went to the winery and Leah and Ramona got into a little squabble About hold on I'm looking through my notes here, looking through my cards here. Hey, can I put these cards a little closer to my face because I cannot read them. It was blood plasma. Okay, it was blood plasma. Leah, you started a conversation lightly, but ended up accusing Ramona of lying about

donating plasma. While anti-plasma isn't just something, it's not like even in your blood, like you have to get the plasma taken out of your blood, like you have to get the blood taken out, then you have to get the plasma. I mean, she's just lying, Andy. Everybody knows she's a fucking liar.

She's a mother fucking liar, Andy, and everybody knows it. You know what? Listen, not a liar. I donated my plasma. I was like, listen, LCD is a new technology. I don't need my plasma TV anymore. So you know what I did? I donated my plasma TV to the Red Cross so that way they could solve COVID with it. Okay, I wasn't lying. I'm sorry,

I'm sorry. No lies detected. And I love Ramona this season, but I just have to say that last time I saw Ramona donate anything, it was her tongue and it was Harry Dubin's mouth. Other than that, I've never seen Ramona do it. I mean, Andy, she hasn't offered at her own birthday party for herself, Andy. Is this a charitable woman? I mean, really. I would like to say something as the star of Bravo to all the audience out there.

First of all, happy birthday out there. First of all, uh, be birthday, etc. Second of all, listen, I know a lot of people haven't liked our season, the reason why is because Leah McSweeney insisted that we started off with a plasma fight. I said, I do not want to fight about plasma. Can't we talk about interventions? And she said, no, there must be a plasma fight. So, in conclusion, the reason why the season was not good is because of Leah. Thank you very much. You know what, I put like one of you to prove that I didn't have COVID and I didn't give blood. Okay, excuse me what, I didn't even have COVID until I was in the hotel at Boca where I was staying

with Mario and my daughter slash best friend Avery, okay? And I was walking down the hallway and someone said, oh my god, your skin and bones, do you have COVID? And I said, oh my god, thank you very much. At first I thought COVID was a compliment, auntie, okay? You know what? I thought you got COVID from sticking to the Atkins diet for too long. That I did! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Hey, Ebony, you look like you're regretting every decision to come on the show. What do you have to say? Ha!

Okay, your strange laugh is back. Thank you. Sorry, Andy, I still don't know when to use it. Ha! Alright, well, later that night you all went to a bar and things seemed to be going well. Ebony was fitting in very well. Ramona had told Ebony 19 times, wow, it's amazing. I feel such a bond with you. We're like sisters. On the thing seem to go a little bit south when Lou ordered a glass

of soda water in a wine glass. Well, Andy, you know, that is a slippery slope and I was trying to tell Luan, if you order something that's in a wine glass, it's gonna make you think of wine. So you're drinking, that's how alcoholics mess up, Andy, okay, if you drink things out of the wrong glass, it's very bad. Everyone in 12 steps knows that, Andy.

You know what, you know what, this is thinking, thinking, okay, because here she is trying to shame the wand for drinking out of a wine glass because she thinks they're drinking club soda, have a wine glass, and make the wand think about wine and fall off the wagon. Guess what? The truth is, when you drink something out of a wine glass, the only thing you think of is my signature cocktail, which is vodka, with soda, with ice, and mint in a wine glass,

okay? So I'm sorry, in many ways and mint in a wine glass. Okay, so I'm sorry. In many ways, just make sure to think about me. So, Leah, stop trying to ruin my relationship with Luianne. Sorry. Here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday,

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And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Well after that, Ebony may be a lawyer, but she may have just taken on her most intense chase. Man hat that is. Have any of what do you think started the bank fight between you and Sonia? Well Andy, unfortunately we live in a very charged time. Literally a time when

people are charging everything on their cards and so the mere reference to any sort of bank was gonna send Sonia off a special bank that she was no longer married to and A competitor to that bank. So unfortunately the mere mention of Wells Fargo Was a trigger point. Thank you. I would just like to say I have no problem with any other bank other than JP Morgan I mean name one bank. I have no problem with any bank there name one go ahead How about Bank of America? Bitch, I'm dead, you know, it's not my family! Okay, let's settle down, all I said was Bank of America.

I'm country, but it's not my family! I was not taking for it! Alright, alright, well, at least I didn't say well as far ago. I really tell you! I really really tell you! I really really tell you! Well you're acting more crazy than someone who just crashed their car into a sperm bank. Well that's at least not a real bank, so I'm not really upset about that one.

Also I love sperm. So I would just like to conclude by saying if there was an actual thing called a sperm bank I would ask my ex-husband to purchase it so it could be in the JP Morgan family Andy, I just remember that I'm traumatized by this Oh I can't deal with this Andy I'm gonna walk off the set because I'm traumatized now, thank you and please, please don't come after me. Who am I, just some cabaret icon? Surely there's no need to come after me.

Don't, don't bother, don't bother. Oh! I know. Anyone? Well, Zonya had a rough night that mine had a little breakdown, but thankfully she woke up right next to her trusty best friend. Let's take a look at some more beautiful advice from Ramona Singer. Whoa, you know what last night was really crazy.

Yeah, yeah, I've just had a lot to drink. I think we were talking about banks or something. Yeah, we're talking about banks. You know what I think is wrong with you? Oh, I think that you're just still really upset that your husband dumped you like a box of melted chocolates, okay? He dumped you on the ground. Yeah.

Yeah. Then he got in the car and he backed over you, okay? You know what? You're like thrown out trash, sweating to get started on fire and put on a barge and sent to Staten Island. Okay, that's how you feel right now, okay? Well, you ever seen the most beautiful little toy in the world and then you drop it in a fire-backed and it melts and turns into a goopy plastic and creates toxic fumes that's

kind of like what you are, okay? You're sort of like that song by Tuna Turner. You know that one, that's something like, you know, when, you sort of like that song by Tuna Turner. You know that one that's something like, you know, when I was a little girl, I had a rag doll, but you're like the rag doll that someone had as a little girl, and then they lost, Kai, so you're like a sad song, okay? I'm sorry, but that's just who you are. Wow, those are really touching moments to relive, Zonia. Yeah, you know, I'm really, really so thankful to have such a friend

like Ramona Andy. I mean, not a friend that's put on her Instagram ever, but you know, in general, it might, it wouldn't be nice if she wasn't trying to steal all the men that I had sex with first. Yes, it would be, but in general, it's nice to have a friend like Ramona, you know, a woman already with one foot in the grave can really be nothing but a help Once it's time to knock on those heavenly gates Andy whoa Sorry, I just fell out of my chair for to go you never know what's gonna hit go on Andy go on All right, well Bethany from Boca wants to know

Leah, why did you choose the silent treatment that night instead of actually talking to the group? Do you think it was a little childish to give everyone the literal silent treatment? It was honestly the most mature thing I could have done at that moment. Part of my studies in Judaism, which has been led by a very important rabbi, Neymar and who also boxes, is that one must be quiet when you think about the Torah. Also, it's been 10 minutes, I just want to say, my grandmother is the most special person to me, and it was so important for me to not be by her side and be at Ramona's house. I just want to say she's the only person who got me. And I love her.

Thank you. See you in 10 minutes. Whoa, that was so beautiful. You know, I just want you to know your grandma is looking down on you right now and she's thinking, whoa, I'm literally looking down on her and I'm figuratively looking down on her at the same time because she's so alone and no one loves her. You want to hold her there? Let's hug.

Whoa, Evan, you can stop doing that laugh now. at the same time, because she's so alone and no one loves her. You wanna hold her there? Let's hug. Ha! Whoa, Evan, you can stop doing that laugh now. Ha! Well, at that lunch of the winery, Leah, you seem to be starting a little trouble with Heather, who was going to guest star on the rest of the season before you completely mess that up. So is there any reason that you were trying to turn all of the ladies against Sather?

Well, I just thought I was like so shady that she would talk behind our backs. So I decided what I would do is like talk behind her back. And I think that like really proved something. All right, well let's welcome to the stage. Our could have been friend of this season. Heather Thompson, here she is. Hi, Heather.

Hi, Andy. Hi, Mama. Hi. So good to be here, Mama. Now, Heather, seem to be a problem with some of the things you would said on your, God, what on your podcast? I mean, whatever that is.

Alright, anything to say for yourself? Well, yes, I did say those things, because I did feel like a lot of the women were fake. I thought that Luana is very fake. She doesn't even know how to sing. She's clearly an alcoholic, and she lives in a world of lies. But she's so sweet, so sweet, Luan, and I'll say that to your face, I'll say that to your face, Luan.

Oh, really? You think I'm fake? How's this? Sit and spin, bitch! I don't even know what that means. You learn that in jail, motherfucker. See, I can say motherfucker, Andy. Well, look like things are gonna turn around or in the Audrey Hepburn party until everybody came out Heather for talking about them.

Luan? Well, you know, my problem is, listen, I understand if you're gonna talk about your own story. I do a cabaret, as you might have heard. And I don't talk about my own story. I sing about it, Andy, and if I happen to see somebody one night and then I sing about it the next night, do I owe that person an apology for singing about them? I don't, and I totally understand that point.

I will say that having Carol Ratsadill on your podcast Oh, bitch, I hate that bitch. Now that's where it went wrong with me, Andy. Well, let's bring Carol on out. Coming back to stage making her big, groan-y, reunion, reappearance. It's Carol Radsawill, hi, Carol. Hi, Andy. Carol, you seem to be still wearing

some sort of number on your shirt. What is that? What are those numbers doing on tax on to your shirt there? Well, Auntie, you know, life isn't a race. It's a marathon! But... What have you been up to lately, Carol? Well, aside from getting through the marathon from 2018 which I still haven't finished

I've been doing a lot of fun stuff like sitting on counters and department stores and sitting on the back of bicycles with hipsters and I also did some serious journalistic investigating on an online store that didn't send me the proper patio furniture, and that really, really upset me, and as someone who knows Barbara Walters, I will not be silent, I also switched from chicken of the seed to bumblebee and it's been a wonderful experience for my tuna sandwiches. Well later in the trip is when the real fun started. Not only did we get to meet Garth. Yes, we know Lulian. But we had a nude painting. We had a musician that Ramona wanted to have sex with. Just wanted to have sex with his music. Okay, what does everybody have to be so preferred? You know what?

Start talking about penises. If anything, it's gonna get inside this ho-ho. It's gonna be that man's quarter note. Okay? You know what? I don't understand. If one's so mad about me with my plasma my mask Where did that musician donate his mask and his plasma? Okay? It's a double-standard. I got canceled. I'm sorry. It's not right Roni you did get a little sexual while the music guy was playing as everyone was painting

Sorry to say everyone a penis got hate that word penis, okay You what the music came over me and I came over the chair to set so there is to say guys Well, how could you not feel sexual being in the presence of guards lamb curry now? I know what everyone wants to know what is in a lamb car. Well, I'll tell you Andy. Here's what's in it. Lamb. I said, lamb, lamb, lamb! Sorry, sometimes they're not, they're not writing it down.

I'm trying to get my assistant to write this down while I still have it in my brain. There's lamb, there's rice. I don't know, you figure out the rest. It's called the internet, you dumbass. Anyway, but I would guess that there's some curry in there. You know what, Sonya Rita, why don't you just sit down and wait for when did you return to talk? You know nothing about lamb curry. Well I was the first one

you had that in curry actually. I was the one who told you about lamb curry. You know nothing about lamb curry. You slut. Every lamb curry I've ever put down my throat says Sonya is a whore and we want nothing to do with her. You're a good time lamb curry girl and no one needs your opinion. Dears, I believe what Luann, what Sonya is trying to convey in this moment is that she has a deep appreciation for Curry's of all kind and I resonate with that as a broadcaster, someone who is akin to Anne Curry. So I would say that I too know about the Curry, but just because I have a Curry experience is not decaying her very important Curry experience

dear. Thank you. Now Ramona, just sit in that uncomfortability. Just sit in that uncomfortability, Ramona. Whoa, you know what? After that, I played that music music so sexly I was sitting in a lot of uncomfortability Okay, it's very very uncomfortability Hey, so here's a question that came up at that lamb curry scene and I just want to get a I just want to get a Razor hand if you agree with this if you I do I agree All right, so yeah, and I said raise your hand, not your leg. Okay, so here's the question.

If you do not have a law degree, does that make you more educated than someone who does have a law degree? Raise your hands, and let's see, we got, when has five hands up, I don't know, you're grabbing other people's hands, I don't even know how you did that. You got a lot of hands up. I don't know you're grabbing other people's hands I don't even know how you did that you got a lot of hands up Ramona Ramona My hand down please. I don't like you touching me shut up rancan Serve a purpose for once in your goddamn life and help me win this straw poll All right, Louis. I'd explain yourself. Why are you more educated than someone who literally has more degrees than you?

Well, Andy, let me tell you first of all, I'm not saying that Ebony is uneducated. Ebony, I would like to say, here in public, right in front of everyone, you are educated. Thank you, dear. Thank you. Thank you for that. Now, that doesn't mean that you're more educated than me. I've been a nurse. I have been a game show host in Italy. And I am currently a cabaret star who eats curry, which is extremely global, Andy. I mean, name somebody else on this stage with that kind of resume. I'd like to know who else here has spoken to tweens and told them whether or not they could be a model. Uh, anyone, anyone, that's right, just me. Miss educated 2020. Well, dear, right.

I understand what you're saying, but I actually have degrees. Oh, wow. You are an angry woman, an angry woman, angry, angry, angry woman. You know, Andy, I would just like to add that ever since this conversation about degrees, I have been wearing a lot of degree. I haven't smelled like PO one time this entire season, Andy. So I'd like to thank both Ebony and Leuan for the teotering help. Also, I love that game, six degrees of Kevin Bacon, mainly because sometimes when I get horny,

I actually just fuck bacon. Yeah, I do that. It can work. It can work. Well, the education fight led to Ebonnie being kicked out of Luan's house. Ebonnie, how did you feel about that? Well, Andy, you know, I'm not comfortable being

somewhere I'm not wanted. And usually that leaves a whole world open for me because really, who doesn't want me? I'm wanted everywhere, but you know, sometimes it's very difficult to argue with uneducated, I mean less educated people, Andy. And I was fine going home in my own Uber. You know what? She was very angry at my own house in Sag Harbor, which as we all know is the best of the sags And on top of that here I had a very handsome nude model the most wonderful lamb curry and she had to be so angry

I had no other recourse, but to kick her out and also by the way I just want to remind everyone that you all were being hos. You're a hoe, you're a hoe, you're a hoe, you're a hoe, you're a hoe, you're a hoe, oh Leah, you're so hell, you're a hell, you're a hell, you're a hell, you're a hell, you're a hell, oh, Leah, you're so funny. Take a seat. Um, well, uh, Ebony, uh, back to the angry thing, that touched the nerve. Well yes, Andrew, you're not supposed to say angry. That is traditionally a word that is used as code against black women and it's not cool to use that.

Well, I understand and I would like to formally apologize again for calling you angry. I will hear you for, refer to you as less educated than she thinks she is. Now, where's my apology? Because there was some lamb curry that was truly ruined by this experience. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I would just like to say Andy, because I'm still on this stage for a reason that even I can't decipher that, you know, this fight was interesting to me because knowing, you know,

the core of the black family is I do, spending time in the core of black America as I have. Who went that again? Who was in your core, dear? Oh, Puffy, don't you remember? I prepped for Puffy. You know, it's just one of the regular working people. I would like to say, you know, all of those families, the core black family would sit around the table and say, you know what I don't like? Angry. I don't like that word.

And I would have to agree with that, Andy. I don't like that word. And I would like to applaud Ebony for so being so articulate when she explained that to Luan. That was amazing. Yeah. That gets a big holla and as someone who understands the black experience because she watched Cinderella and Billy Porter was in it, I have to say words hurt. Okay, words hurt and I'm just so glad that we can resolve this. Hello. You know, I didn't, I know Billy Porter and I called him after Santa Rella

and I said, you know what? I don't, I don't only understand the black experience, I understand the Porter experience. You know, that's not an easy job. I've known a lot of Porter's, Core America. Core America Thompson, that's what they call me. As someone who really connected with the lady from the Stackwells commercial,

I understand the black experience. And I just want to say that we have a lot to learn. And thankfully, we have a very, very articulate lady on our cast who can help us in that role as our teacher. Thank you so much, Ebony, for fulfilling that role, which of course I'm sure you wanted to have. I would just like to say, Andy, dear, that I'm going to let everything that Heather said

just passed, because frankly, she's trying, which is more than I can say, for about 90% of the rest of these ladies. Whoa. Was anyone listening to what was being talked about for the past five minutes? Because I know I wasn't. You know what, Andy? I used to take Ampian if I couldn't go to sleep because I really like going to sleep And now if I need to sleep, I just ask somebody to get teaching and preachy with me okay

Then I just close and I don't remember anything until the next morning, okay Yeah, that's how I deal with it. You know people talk about being woke But you know what sometimes I want to be sleepy. Okay being woke, but you know what, sometimes I want to be sleepy, Carrie. All right, well, then you guys had a very strange and sad beauty pageant. What was that like for you guys? Because it was really rough for us. Well, actually, Anthony, I would like to say as somebody who has been at the heart and the core of the beauty pageant experience. It was a little difficult for me because Leah had come

after me early in the night calling me a carom and screaming in my face and throwing napkins in my face because I suggested that she actually vote, Andy. So that's something that happened to me. You know what? Everybody just got a taste of what it's like in the core of the Heather's home experience. Okay? You're welcome. Consider that vocal hugs to everybody sitting on this stage. Leah, do you get a respond? Well, I was really hurt for me because my grandmother was dying and I love my grandmother so much and I knew I needed to honor her by being in a fake beauty pageant at that moment and so it was really tough doing that with Heather there.

You know what really really bugged me Andy is being told what to do like I do not like being bossed around especially when it comes to voting like I you know what I can I can yell at Ramona for who she voted for but like if I don't want to vote that's my fucking business okay I signed up for vote by mail and when I got the vote by mail in the mail, I got to sharpie out and I opened the ballot, and I wrote, fuck you by mail, and then I put it back in and I sent it, Andy. That's how I feel.

You, you know what? Why don't you worry about your own fucking vote? All right, so one hot button issue this season was Ebony, the Night in Harlem by Ebony K Williams. Who here enjoyed that meal? Anyone? Anyone? Ebony? I did, Andy. You know, Andy, I love candles. They're a very underused food source in this country, and I would just like to thank Ebony for introducing me to Candles as an appetizer.

Really, you put a little horse radish on it and you've never tasted anything like it. I was burping up the smell of sandalwood for a week after. Thank you, Ebony. Heather, you at this point had quit the season, so we should probably get you off the stage. But any last comments? Yes, Andy. Thank you so much. I honestly was a little bit offended by the Harlem night scene because I wasn't sure why I, as someone who is so closely intertwined with the core black experience, wasn't represented as a candle at that dinner. I would love to hear some words from Ebony about that.

But since I have to go, I'm just going to say goodbye. And if anyone would like to know anything else that I would have said tonight Please just go to Twitter and rewatch Viola Davis's Emmy acceptance speech from six years ago. Okay. Thank you everybody. Bye mamas. Come on Carol. I'm not ready Come on Carol. I'm not ready. Carol come on. What are you afraid of Bethany too? Alrighty Carol come on. What are you afraid of Bethany too? All right So Harlem the night in the Harlem everyone seemed pretty bored during it

But one thing that was exciting was that we had the arrival of Berchon and here joining us on stage is Berchon hi Hey, how are you doing tonight? on stage is Mershaw and hi Mershaw. Hey, how are you doing tonight? How you doing tonight? Good morning. Let me tell you something tonight.

This was a terrible party and I can't believe I was part of it, but you know what can you do when you're putting a bunch of grandma's and clowns? Alright, don't even say those trigger words. Well, it's not like I said, well, it's far, okay Mershaw, just zip it for a moment. You know what? I just want to say that I went there for dinner. I wasn't there for teaching. Preachy. Okay. You know what? I wanted a chicken. I didn't want to be called racist. That's it. What is that? Okay. You know what? That's why I left early

because I get vertical. Okay. And here's what happens. Someone starts teaching me and I fall over. When I was a little girl I would go to the school house and the teacher would say 2 plus 2 is 4 and I would fall out of my desk Andy Okay, it's the first time that my eyes ever crossed Well Ramona, this was a pretty intense season for you. You know, what would the election everything? I've got a question Cabo Harris I'm gonna ask you a question, everything. I've got a question. Carboharis.

Yeah, is that the question, Andy? Just say in her name and see how you'll react. You know what? I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm sure that that is a very nice person, whoever it is. Okay, well let's move on, Andy. I don't want to move, okay? Move on, org. Why do we want to move, okay? Move on.wag.

Why don't we have to talk about politics all the time? I don't want to talk about politics, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I invited you over here tonight to talk, have girl time, have girl talk, we can talk about boys, we can talk about Harry's doobin, we can talk about Coco, I don't want to talk about politics. Well, funny because you didn't invite me here, we're not in your apartment, we demanded that you come here and we barely even talked about politics, we just said someone's name and you lost your mind. Let's see what other things you'll lose your mind about and

associate them with politics. Let's see um how about uh uh shoes? What do you think about shoes? Whoa Andy okay You know what? Enough about the politics. I can't deal. Why you always bring up shoes and politics is too much. Just trying to have a nice night. Hey, Pomona, I really love your black dress. Whoa, what does it have to be a black dress? Why can it be a purple dress or yellow dress or white dress or a rainbow color dress, okay? Do you use a stapler when you put papers together?

Whoa, why don't we have, why don't we become fine to just a stapler? Okay, what if I use a paperclip? Suddenly I can't use paperclips because you want to use a stapler? Why is it always the be that way? Like don't breach staplers to me when all I want is a paperclip.

Sometimes I don't need a stapler. I don't wear staples by the ocean. I don't staple papers by the ocean, okay? Whoa, and it just hit me. Who you were asking me about earlier? You were just trying to trick me. You know what? I'm sick of your questions. I want you to finish everything now with karma. La. And that's how you say it in Spanish, okay? Karma, la. There. I know what it is, okay? I'm not stupid. Okay, I'm sorry, Ebony, that you had to relive that nightmare, it turns out... Now that we've experienced it ourselves, it is a horrific thing to live through!

Sorry, Ebony! That's quite alright, dear. Life is about learning, and I've learned a lot. Ha-ha! Alright! Let's move on! So, Sonya is alone and and sad and 15 years after her divorce, she still has not gotten over her husband.

Yeah, and you know what? The man was just so handsome in his wallet. I've never met a man that handsome in his wallet before Andy and it still really hurts me. So I finally got set up on a match which was really really sweet of Ebony to do. My girl, my girl Ebony set me up with a guy, you know, and she really knew my type Andy. She took me to a matchmaker but I really do credit Ebony with helping me find the perfect type for me I mean he's really fat who's really old. He didn't only have one bad knee

He had two bad knees and a bad ankle and we got to talk about bacon for seven minutes straight Andy Okay, nothing gets me hornier than a wobbly man talking about bacon. Thank you Ebony Thank you, my girl Because as I did mention before I do like to fuck Bacon, so it really, it all comes back together. Alright, Leah, do you have anything to add to that? My grandmother loved Bacon. One of the things she told me before said, okay! So, after you went to the matchmaker who was on the real world, you guys decided to go to sale of Massachusetts, the most exciting sale in all of the Massachusetts is.

So you got there, and the first thing you guys did was you went to a party, a dinner, and a tattoo parlor. Am I reading this correctly? God, what were you producers thinking this season? Well, I would just like to say, Andy, is a cabaret star. Everyone here knows I'm rocking rolls. So I was down to get an invisible tattoo on the back of my neck underneath my hairline, Andy, because I am a rocker.

All right. Hmm. Well, I approve of tattoos as well. Andy, I really love tattoos, even though a couple of seasons ago I said they were trashy and I would never hang out with anyone with a tattoo. But you know what, now I'm completely into them. I would rather talk about Ramona being a complete idiot racist at that tattoo part of it. That was very embarrassing. Ramona, what? You know what? I'm sorry, but the conversation started because of

you, Sonia, okay? You stirring the pot, okay? You just want to come in there and talk about teaching. Preaching, okay? I don't want to talk about teaching and preaching. Oh, yay! Let's play a game. Let's play a game instead. Ah, I'm gonna need you to sit back into your chair.

I know you love doing that little dance. When you say let's play a game, but this is some real stuff. Evidence what was going on? Well, dear I needed to make sure that the people I was associated with were not Aligning themselves with white supremacy. Whoa all of a sudden white supremacy first of all All of a sudden like if I go to Taco Bell and I get a taco supreme did that make me white supremacists Just because I'm white and I want something that has a Supreme of the title, I don't get it. Let's play a game, let's play a game, let's play a game.

Ramona was doing a dance that night that was so white. If she had donated her plasma, it would have been full of white cells, okay? It was really, really bad. You know what? Why does it have to be called white supremacy okay why can't it be called blue supremacy and yellow supremacy a purple supremacy andy okay andy I don't see color which is unfortunate because I brought twisted a player's a game and now all the dots look the same that's

what happens in life you choose a dot I choose a dot and we're all twisted up and we all get together as one okay yeah you know what I don't see color and we're all twisted up, and we all get together as one, okay? Yeah, you know what? I don't see color, and I realized that in college, when I was dating this guy, and I was driving us to dinner, and the light changed, and I went right through it, because I couldn't tell if it was red or green, okay? That guy's not around anymore, but I wish he was,

so I could tell him about how I cried, night, and say, oh, where's that was you, is gay, and where's that was you, is? You know, Andy, it's really hard being as progressive as I do, and I'm not seeing color, because the other day, my best friend, Sash Dora, took me to a performance of Joseph, an amazing technical dream coat, and I was like, whoa, as far as I can tell, that coat looks like it just came from J. Crue. I only see one color. I'm sorry, where are the other it just came from J. Crew. I only see one color. I'm sorry we're the other colors.

I don't see it. Yeah. You know what? They should have called that Joseph and the amazing striped coat. Is that it? It was just striped. You know what? When I went in so visited Oz and they were seeing somewhere over the rainbow, I was like,

what rainbow? All I see is an arc. An arc of stripes. Okay. I don't see any colors. So it's clearly not a rainbow. Unfortunately. Okay, I don't see any color, so it's clearly not a rainbow. Unfortunately, Andy, I don't see color. I mean, I don't even understand the gay pride flag.

Who wants that flag? It's just a bunch of stripes of no color. You know what, gay people should have? They should just have broccoli on their flag, gang, because at least people could tell what it is. Okay? It's like, well, look, you know what? I have pride in gay broccoli.

They're in the guy. All right, well, later on, Okay, it's like well fuck you know what I've pride and gay broccoli All right, well later on we moved to a restaurant where brishon really really came out as one of a true blogger She came out as a true Malonger to the show and that doesn't really make sense But she came out as a good fit to this show when she went against all of you and called you grandmamas. How dare you! How dare you call me a grandmother? Not only am I not a grandmother. I'm extremely educated Andy. Happy birthday to you! Does a grandmother headline a cabatio and sing old standards with billy stretch and make Christmas songs that sound like they came from 1955 I don't

think so I don't think so and the all I was really saying was that you know my friend my girlfriends we go out and have fun and these girlfriends are talking about should I have a drink I don't want to drink maybe I'll have some tea Maybe I'll just have some bread instead of a drink. Yeah, I thought was saying I was saying they were acting like grandmother's That's all Well, you call me a cloud also and as far as I can tell I'm not a clown I'm just someone who likes the fuck him. Okay, is that so wrong? I so what if I if I want to fuck a clown?

Some of the one a fuck a trapeze artist. So what if I want to fuck us love bacon Someone if I want a fuck a trapeze artist? Someone if I want a fuck a slab bacon? It's my right, Bershon. Yeah, I may fuck a fire hydrant, but that doesn't mean I am a fire hydrant. Well, it's the right song. Well, they can get me all involved. You got me all involved, you're ladies. I'm just saying, just try and make a joke. I want to move my girlfriends.

I'll just make a joke and holy shit, Sonya. Did you just chug a glass of wine through your dress? Yeah, I was getting bored. Well, Sonya, you know, that may have been a pretty big fight, but I don't know that it warranted you getting physical with Person. Well, you know, Andy, knowing this show and the way that the girls on this show work, I got physical with Person, just so I could see if Luanne and Ramona would fuck her afterwards. You know? Because that's all they do. Still people that I've gotten physical with Andy. You know, I was really horny that entire trip

especially after I saw that wigwom because you know, I fuck John John and the wigwom once and it was fantastic. Do we have roll tape for that one? Can we roll tape for that? No, because it's in your head. Anyway, afterwards, you somehow managed to be cool, so you then went off to a seance, and here, as a special guest, is the crazy lady. I shouldn't say crazy, I'm sorry. The very creepy lady, who ran the seance? Hello creepy lady. Hello, hello, and me, hello, and me. I would like us to all come together and put our spirits in a hat and shake the hat up and then burn the hat. Oh, no, our spirits were inside of the hat.

We no longer have spirits. Hey, say, unslady, you can see a lot of things and my question is to you. Are those boobs real? Andy, my breasts are spiritual and I can assure you, quite real, they have lived a 73 lives Andy. But that being said, I did just get some vaginal rejuvenation at a girl that's what we like to hear alright so we have a say on swear Ramona

uh saw her dead brother again but still really didn't apologize that much to him although that was a touching scene Ramona so you're welcome for us giving you that uh anybody else want to talk about the sales because frankly I find it depressing as hell. I just want to say that all the women on this stage need to get very very professional help from people who have advanced degrees. Oh well I guess that's me because I have an advanced degree in life and cabal ray PhDs PhDs actually Don't worry. I've actually gotten a help from you know not only the lady who gives me crystal dildos at my house

But also someone that I got from a list called Angie's they were really good. They actually unclog the toilet without using a hose And they help me get over my daddy issues. So thanks list of Angie's They were really good. They actually unclogged the toilet without using a hose. And they helped me get over my daddy issues, so thanks, Listed Angie's. Okay, well I think that maybe I should go back and have a spiritual phone sex with Franklin Roosevelt again. Thank you so much for having me. Well, not since Jesus was dropped in a manger in a barn has Christmas been so exciting. Countess, let's talk a little bit about your song recording, wherever did you come up with the idea of your last song! Well, Andy, thank you so much for asking about my creative process.

It was very simple, I was just driving around in my car, not listening to the radio whatsoever around Christmas, and I thought, you know, it'd be a great tune. Something along the lines of, everything I want on this Christmas is actually you. And I thought, that's a great lyric. Let's work with that. Let us work with that. And then I came up with this melody like, everything I want for Christmas is actually you. I thought, that's a hit. That's a hit. That's a hit and totally original.

You gotta upset, at least, we're asking for contracts. What was that about? Well, Andy, I would just like to say, as someone who screen prints things on sweatshirts, I really understand the economy behind the business. And if I'm asked to be in a music video I mean what if this video goes on to make nine trillion dollars one day like I need to make sure I'm protected And you know, I mean I really want to make sure that I've got that sweet sweet all I want for Christmas is you

Beach house money, you know what I'm saying is that so wrong? Is that so muddy only fucking person in business here? I mean this is absolutely ridiculous. This is for charity. Charity, the Luan, the less-abs charity, and I can't believe that you're trying to solve this process and try to get your hands on some charity money. That's absolutely ridiculous, and I cannot believe you would say such a thing. Well, actually, Luan, if you really think about it, it's actually a compliment to you, to actually think that you would make a song successful enough for me to want to get my grubby hands on it.

So think about it that way. Absolutely not. I'm here. I'll give you caviar. Caviar! And this is the way you repay me with a demand for a contract. Well, let me tell you one thing. Now that we're fighting, I have to admit that caviar I got you was just cat food from

Trader Joe's that I chopped up and turned into little balls. There I said it. Oh, that's weird because I gave it to my sister and she actually coughed up hairballs the next day. So thank you for at least copying to that one. Alright, everybody, that was sort of an appropriate time to do your laugh, but we appreciate it. Alright, let's go to the big Birthday Party that Luan planned for. Sonya, I think it was Sonya, it was the Sonya and Ramona, I don't remember if they shared

this one. But anyway, Luan planned a really big party, super fun, there were strippers, there were models, possible male horrors, and Sonya even left with one. Sonya want to still stick with that story. Oh yes Andy, you know, I mean it was wonderful having a party so thank you Luanne. It was also wonderful being recognized as one of the most stunning people in the world, which that man who totally wasn't paid anything told me before he took me home and we have sex for 19 hours, Ambi. Count him. 19. You know, I really like that party. It's so rare that I enjoy negative

space being in a negative space, but that party actually was full of negative space. There were not a lot of people there. But with the people that did show up, had lots of hair, and that was lovely. And I was so glad to have that tin of caviar that I ate with a man who I fucked all night long. And I was just me and him together alone, because he's very single, and I was fucking him all night long, like a slab of bacon. Well, according to Countess Luanne and the singer detective, no fucking happy at all Luanne. Well Andy, you know, as you know, as everyone here might remember, the most educated one of the group, me! Gave everybody some caviar, and turns out Sonia went home with the long-haired model, forced herself onto his hotel bed, and his girlfriend TikToked the whole thing, and Sonia was just too drunk, and left her caviar in the room.

I mean, who leaves caviar in a room? Okay, it's just like a lack of consideration. I know people are so angry at me. People say that I'm close-minded, but look at Sony, leaving caviar places. That's the one who's really close-minded. She's the one who should be canceled, okay? Well, Andy, I don't care what anybody says,

or what's on TikTok. I had 19 hours of sex with that hot, hot man. Whoa, you know what? I don't want to talk about Sonya's lies. I want to talk about how I don't see color because you know what? That was when Ebony invited me to black Shabbat and you know what I said? I said, you know what? I don't understand what black Shabbat is.

I call it some indeterminate color on a Friday night. Okay? Cause I don't see color or Shabbat. Okay. You know what? It's sad. So I get to this place and it's the wisest even called black Shabbat. Why is it a purple Shabbat? And then Ebony, what did you say? Well, dear, I explain to you that black people and Jewish people have an affinity due to oppression. You know what? You think you're the only people who are depressed? What do you think is like for me? Okay? My daughter leave for college and I'm all alone. I had to find out in page 6 that my husband was cheating with the nanny in page 6. I've done that in page 6. No oppression Ramona. Oh what's the difference, okay?

You know what, I'm sorry But like, you're not the only people that listen to Shania Twain I don't know if I follow Ramona, you said oppression Like, you know, it's like that song That don't oppress me much, like, big deal We all like that song, okay? Okay, you know what? Everybody's been mad at me all over the media about this night black

shabot, you know what? But all I was saying, oh, what's up? Sorry. But I did this Jewish guy in college. So I'm kind of Jewish because I even went to Jewish school. Guy. And then the sky. You know what? He was putting, he didn't even say thank you. He was saying you know what? Thank you for being Jewish, guy. So I broke up with him. That's it.

That's it. Make me Jewish. Robona, so you said that you were discriminated against because you weren't Jewish. Yes, Andy, you don't understand how difficult it is to be a Christian white woman in this world, okay? Because I would go to New York City and guess what?

I would walk, walk down the street and every door I would open up and people would throw bagels at my head. I would say, whoa, I wish I would Jewish. I wish I would Jewish because that way when they do that I could sing a special song like from Fiddler on the roof and then everyone would love me. But instead I just got bagel after bagel at the bagel at my head. I would go home crying at night with a bruised head, wishing that I could have a smear, but there won't even allow me to have a smear

because I'm not Jewish, it's so sad, okay? Yeah, Andy, it would bruise my head. You know what, my temples. It would hurt my temples, it would hurt so bad. And every time these Jewish girls from my school pass by me, they would say, hey, temple. And I'd be like, oh my god, they're making fun of my inflamed temples. Okay?

They were bullying me, Andy. I have been bullied by Jewish people. That's it. You know what? I wanted to be an actress when I was a young girl. And I would go to a Dishons, and I would never get the part. And I would get passed over. And then it was happened so much.

They'd just ridicule me. They actually made a holiday about me getting passed over for parts on Broadway. It's called Passover. It's the holiday where Jews remember passed over for parts on Broadway. It's called Passover It's the holiday where Jews remember how I never became a Broadway star. It's so rude. I'll cry myself at night every single night Yeah, it was a holiday celebrating me getting passed over And I'd be okay. It was very very awful. Okay. Well, Sonya you also got pretty upset that my what was that about Andy? I just wanted to Ramona. I just wanted to tell Ramona what about AIDS?

What about cancer? What have you done with your life? You know what? I'll tell you what I've done with my life. I have been a survivor. A survivor of someone who was never a star on Broadway and who had a holiday made up after them just to make them feel bad. I am a survivor, Sonya. That's why I've done it with my life. Okay. I got home in an Uber with a bag of corn nuts, okay? How many other people could survive that? Guy? Well, Ebony, what do you think about all of this? You know, she did embarrass all of you in front of your friend

who was pretty embarrassing herself. Did she have locker room walkers in her living room? Anyway, what do you think about all this Ebony? I mean, Addy dear, at this point. I just have to say. What the fuck can you do? Yeah, I mean, Ramona's gonna Ramona. Am I right? God, I'm tight with Ramona. We are like this, Eboni.

Tight, tight, tight! Ha, ha, ha! Hey! All right, well, Eboni, you seem to be attracting some birds to the studio and this would be a good moment to point out that Leah seems to have have disappeared and in her place is a pho- oh there's there's Leah she's on FaceTime on her chair right there i don't Leah where did you wind up going to? i just wanted to say ambie remona's a fucking idiot

from one singer to another can I just say you go girl shut up the when All right, well that was a tense moment So after blackshire bot So basically the season went downhill and nothing really happened lovely honest all right We had an episode order we had to get in here So we basically had some time for the ladies to go to the Hamptons, have some gallantines today and put on pasties. I'll tell you what down hill Andy. Andy, I'll tell you what went downhill. My urine, because I peed in that driveway on Black that. Alright, let's just pretend we're in court because I am a lawyer as everyone here might know. So let's just go back to court. Sonya, what is your defense for being on my friend Archie's driveway?

Well, here's my defense. I do that sometimes. Watch me on TV. Okay, totally forgiven. Ahhhhh! Now, Ebony, Ebony, you know, a lot of people felt that you were put into the untenable position of having to be a teacher to these women. But I think we could all agree that you had a very important storyline that showed that you were not just a teacher. You were looking for your dad for an episode. How that turned out. Well, Andy, I'm glad you brought that up. I found my dad. I reunited with him. We cried. Turns out he wasn't my dad. I was just crying on a stranger's arm and then I had to tell the person I thought was my sister. Dear, you're no longer my sister. Goodbye.

But then I found someone else who was my dad and then it turns out that I do have a sister. We met. It was a grand time. It was probably one of the most emotional things that ever happened in my life. And did we see that? Absolutely not. Okay, great. What a great way to wrap up the season for you. All right. Well, this has been Andy Cohen with the cast of Real Housewives of New York City. It's been a great season. You know what we're all gonna do a toast We are gonna toast with gallon-sized caviar's That have been left behind in male hookers hotel rooms. All right. I'm Andy Andy, can you just lift up this could you just lift up this phone and and like sort of put it next to a thing of caviar? So it looks like I'm just thing with it. Thank you. Oh, just hang up. She's probably gonna talk about penis.

Alright! So, here's to you, here's to me, may we never disagree if we do? Fuck you, here's to me! Yes, precisely. Bia-and-D. Bia-and-D. Whoa, boy, boy! Okay, boy!

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