Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Tawdry Hepburn

Episode Date: May 27, 2021

This week on The Real Housewives of New York, Ramona invites Heather Thomson into the lion's den for a Breakfast at Tiffany's-themed dinner party. How does it go? Well, there's curry. Be sure to check out this episode with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/51735492Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch or Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about about I'm Ben Mandelker You can also find me on the game brain podcast if you like board games the way I do okay and Joining me is the one and the only the hilarious Ronnie Karam. What's going on Ronnie?

Hi Oh, yeah, oh my god. I am so great. It's when they hear in the world. And we are here to talk real housewives of New York. But it's also what happens on demand episodes. You can see us hanging out here in our chairs. I'm sitting at my standing desk. I feel like I feel like a failure to the uplift desk in front of well. welcome to the rest of the sitting world, Ben. Okay. It's been nice. It's been nice sitting, but like my, my heel was hurting me. So I've been resting it. I need to, I need to heal up before it starts standing again

in life. So that's good. Well, this is my point. Yes, we are at crap and zondamand. We just actually did a very special crap and so on demand episode that we're going to put out next week on the holiday with Brian Moiland of the housewives real story behind the real housewives. Vulture recap. Brian or Dave Brian Moiland you all know who he is I'm sure.

And we just talked to him about his book which is really good actually reading it. What do you think of that? So we'll have that on Monday for VK. I mean, Bravo is really just throwing at us. Aren't they? There's so much content. There's so much content really looking forward to taking a three-day weekend because there's just more and more and more.

Like, we got Potomac around the corner. We still haven't recorded our bonus episode yet, but we will be where we do a breakdown of the trailer We are so excited for that. It's just a lot, but today we're talking real house was in New York, okay? And God, I love this show cracked up again. I'm like so happy that it's that like those first two episodes were more or less Apparations that we are back into just like mindless self-involved, ridiculous behavior. More on my tiny little heart.

It was actually a huge episode. People come on the show and they don't like somebody and they'll try to change them. You know it's like any relationship in life. You cannot change somebody else. Well guess what? Yes, you can. Her name is Ebony and she has actually made a lasting change in Ramona Singer that I never thought we would see.

I mean, Ramona is walking around saying the names of the people working for her. Yes, Laura. That's the help, the servants of hospitality assistance. She is actually remembering their names and using them properly. Not ironically. I mean, it's crazy.

So well done to Ebony. I never thought we'd see this. Well done to Ebony. And also a welcome return for Heather Thompson, who just was so Heather Thompson in this episode. I personally loved it because no one can pull off that evil phoninessiness like Heather Thompson. I mean she really is so good at it. Just that condescending Mom and a pickup line. You know, who's just like yeah, oh, he's just on you like well You're taking a little too long and the pickup line And we just wanted to have a little I'm sure that you're very very busy. We get it. We get it.

She's so good. Guys have that. Limer that evil glimmer. It was so good. And Leah thought that she was going to be able to take on Heather. People underestimate Heather. I mean Heather went up toe to toe with Bethany Frankl and she did not it was like not even a thing. It did not bother her at all. I mean, she ultimately left the show, but you know, it wasn't because she was afraid of Bethany Frankel and she did not, it was like not even a thing. It did not bother her at all. I mean, she ultimately left the show,

but you know, it wasn't because she was afraid of Bethany. Like some people coward, like Kristen Taekman, and some people were just like, you think you're a no-at-all. You know what? Maybe I know it all. I know it all. Maybe I know it all.

Yeah, and let's not forget how she tortured Bethany with hummus. One of the great distinctions of Heather's career was finding a way to torture with hummus. And a meatball member. Meatball, you want to be ball? You want to be ball? I've never looked at meatballs the same. So we ended the last episode with So we ended the last episode with what's the long-grened yell?

Oh! Sonia screaming in the restaurant because Ramona has suggested that Ebony use Wells Fargo instead of Chase. He old standard, you know, Wells Fargo, social faux pas, you know. So yeah, Ramona, I mean Sonia is just like losing her mind so now Ramon is losing her mind What stop drinking okay stop drinking?

Don't blame it on my family. Don't blame on the drinking. It's my family. It's my family Yeah, well your family hasn't paid the bills, okay? So why you concerned with JP Boyk, what's wrong with you, bitch? And then, you know, some just scream, you're a bitch and she's just, what's wrong with you? You know what, you did that, get real, get real. Get real, get real.

It was, I feel like people really have to appreciate this remote-a-m a moment like this is a gift that will be with us like that's gonna be up there with wow Bethany Wow, it's gonna be up there with like you don't spoil the woman yet Arm like like someone told her like it was a thing in the 90s that you could like you know swivel your hand and everything I just did a full pad. What? swivel your hand and everything and she just did a full pad. I was like, what? Swimming or a circle?

How do you stroke? Kai? Oh my god. Just how she's jerking her whole body and her face. Like she's got her eyes and pure Ramona anger mode. Her face is squashed up in the pot. Angry, Boston look. And she's just like red face is just perfect.

Yeah. Get real. So, Sonya is just like stunned into silence. She's just like, oh, like what's Ramona doing? She's like, guess what? You don't have anything to rely on. She's like, oh, I have myself. She's like, you have fake ass friends.

And now Sonia has a Botox vein in the middle of her forehead and she's swinging around her butter knife. And she's sobbing and she's like, you don't have any friends, you don't even have Bari on. And Ramona leaves and sorry just picks up something from the table. Maybe there's a roll or a crumb, whatever just throws it. Just throws it at Ramona. And I just want to say, I just want to give a note to, just want to give a note to I want to give a note to Summer house and Potomac and to Melissa Gorga the next time you guys

Scream about people throwing cups at you or knives being like like someone type she chased me with a knife a butter knife Here is so yeah with a full on knife, lunging at Ramona, Ramona's just like, you know what, I don't care. They don't even mention it. It's like it's so commonplace that Sonia would be drunk and wielding a knife and then throwing shit at Ramona while she walks away, that it literally doesn't even register on the show.

Yeah. And Leah's like, I mean, I totally understand Ramona. I mean, why are you defending your family to the death? I mean, look Sony, she's pulling Galea Newport. And then that's the back to Sonya's screaming. She's like, I have family, I have friends, and I have a soul of financial future. I like that solid financial future.

It's like, this declaration is brought to you by prudential, you know. So or JP Morgan, I'm so sorry, went against the family. So then the wind is like, Lewand goes at Lewand's like, are you all right? Are you all right? Oh, I'm good. I'm good. Who is she talking to? Nobody can know who I am someone with a solid financial outlook. I mean, while Ebony is just completely calm watching this and eating, yeah. That's what I love.

She's like, these bitches are not messing with my food. Okay. So the way it goes and chase is not chase, but she goes and finds Ramona. She's, well, Ramona, I mean, she's going off the deep end and you're provoking her. I mean, you know that. You had a father who drank, right?

I'm like, wait, it is like Stik Ramona with that a little bit. Remember your childhood trauma? Remember Ramona? Remember. You don't engage with him Ramona, or they inspire a lot of control. That, what, I can't hang out with drugs. It's that, hang out with drugs.

Oh, you can't. What about me? This is not good for me. This is not good. I mean, it just cuts the cricket's chirping. Because like Ramona gives no emotional character to Luan at all. Ramona is like, no, this must be my scene where I get upset. And so Luan's like, well, when I see that it gives me so much sadness,

I can't be around this, I can't, it's too painful for me, I can't, I'm going to the net and then she just walks outside and says it a chair, it's for the malta come at and console her. So it's so hard for me to watch you go down this rabbit hole because I had to go down the same hole to turn my life around and as much as we can say cool cool it on the drinking son You're take drinks out of her hand or sonia. You're humming a tree right now. I'm not a natural person There's only so much that you can get across without music 3 2 1 Hit it boys Here's to the ladies who learns everybody love He's too long everybody love

You know I've been down this rabbit hole which reminds me we are bringing the Cabbage or back and the first Top is actually a rabbit hole so come buy tickets see me there So Ramona goes back in and it's just hugging Sonya from behind and Sonny goes I'll in here's Ramona behind and suddenly goes, I'll in here's Ramona, Ramona, and Mrs. The Mark every time. And I'm going to do that thing which is, you know what? You know what? I love you and you know how much I love you and I apologize. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you, okay? Well, you're a sober.

It's more fun doing it when you're drunk. It's more fun doing it when you're sober, okay? Do you want to hurt you? Yeah, you know what? It was never my intention to get the best interest rates possible to myself, my family, Guy. So, so, sorry that I care about saving money, Guy. And so, I was like, what's he saying?

Guy, I'm sorry, Ramana. No, I was just gonna make another joke about mortgage rates, but I think the moment has passed, okay. You're my attention. Stupid things, okay. So I can't be rational, explain it to you. Because of course I'll call for your subotions and now it's taking you to deep down. So then Ebony comes wandering out the restaurant. She's louancing in this giant chair and she's and she's like, oh, and look

Oh, so sorry you had to see that so sorry. This is louan she's on the apology to her because she also told the Lady in the gift shop the previous episode Sorry, you had to hear that sorry Sorry I'm like, I have a real wink. Sorry, you had to hear that. Sorry, sorry, everyone. And Evanne is just like going through a purse looking for God. I'm not giving a shit. She's like, oh, yeah, well, I guess you know someone 30 years. That stuff happens.

And she tells us, Sonia is married to her story. I mean, my family, man. It's like, girl, your story is in front of you, which, you know, true, but it's still a very, very scary story. It's like opening a Dean Koons book. Yes, the story is ahead of you. You don't know what to be scared at yet, but you know it's going to be scary. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, exactly. So, so Ramon's like, you know what, let's go back and see Molly and Coco, who might be dead. I don't know. We're gonna find out one way or another, okay? Let's cuddle and bet. We ever cuddle with the dog quips. Tonight might be the night, okay? Ramona, I facking hate you.

You know what? I love you, okay? And oh, you have your price tag on, so. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Some things don't change. Like for instance, well, Fogas historically low-warkens raise you, Kai. Some things don't change. Like my fixed rate, Morgans, I quit well. But sorry. Noah, I'll take a fairbler.

Wait, because I want to support your family. Okay, so I'm gonna support you through JP Morgan Chase home lending services okay so now it's morning back at Ramona's house in Southampton and the wham's just standing in front of the mirror in her room. I was forgotten about this, it was deltics. Burling a baton and it's never explained in any form whatsoever. We never come back to it. We never had to lead up. She's just swirling a baton like she's about

to go marching down a street in New Orleans. And she goes, wow, I forgot how to do this. Oh, and then she didn't at all. You know that she does this all the fucking time. She's twirling that thing like a bro. It's not a democracy. It's a cheer-hawker-see. Hit it, boys. So now we cut between Evany calling

Gloria, her mom and Leah talking on the phone with Sara, her sister. So, you know, her mom, Gloria is like, they better be treating my baby right. I'll tell you that. Then we go to Leah and Sara talking about grandma, you know, I still like Leah. I don't care what Sashalma Dia says. I still like Leah. Still really glad she's on the show, not here for a dead grandma storyline. No. I'm not. Okay. Maybe it's because my Mimaz, you know, me going through that time as well. But do you want me to come on this show every day and be like, well guys, here's my update about me. I know today. I know. Just like give us like a little update in the

being to tell us that this is something going on in your life. And then we can come back to it when, you know, like when we need to, but we don't need to have every episode, like, well, I'm like, Ramon, there's not doing well. And now we have to sit and watch her have this, I mean, Leo's kind of funny because she is, she's kind of bratty. And she's sort of like taking that mantle from Tinsley. So now she's sitting there's kind of bratty and she's sort of like taking

that mantle from Tinsley, so now she's sitting there talking to her sister Sarah and they're like, yeah, Mom wants me to have like time with grandma alone and also with, they have a brother named like Jared or Brad or something. Like Mom wants us and Leah's like, well that's funny because like Shiden asked me to have time along with grandma.

She always controls everything. Yeah, she totally controls everything. Why are we watching this stupid conversation? About bunny. Yeah. So then we go back to Ebony. And Ebony's grandmother has a feeding tube and she's like an end of life care basically, right?

She's got a feeding tube. And the mom is like, listen, she's living with quantity but no quality. And I said listen, I don't know if we should take her off the feeding tube. We need to let my daughter make that decision because I don't want that on me. She's like, you're trying to put this on me.

And she actually says, yeah, I think you should have that decision so you can feel like you killed mama, not me. And like while this is happening, the music is just playing that like Stet like jazz and do you know like are we having like a comical moment about the ending possibly like ending her grandmother's life? I was like this show is amazing. What is that like normally? It's like I got another show It's like what sort of green juice did you get oh, I love putting pineapple my green juice So are you gonna take grandma off life support or am I gonna have to you after I'm gonna do that mom With the fact that I killed grandma

This was a really funny scene. I love her mother already Yeah, I want you to feel like you killed her it not me Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do even remember. Yeah, everyone is like, you like what? I was at dinner and you were like talking to your friend and then Anthony said something about getting a refinancing and I said, no, don't keep mortgage it. Chase, okay? Cause there's lower rates. It was foggo and you like went ballistic, but obviously not just sober. You won't go crazy about it again, right? Yeah, you know what? You would use you got man. so you called your friend William and you were talking about adversity or a university of logicity. I don't even know. Hey, something about minorities. Okay. And then you know, then you got mad about Wells Fargo.

And so you're like, yeah, well, of course, Ramona, because you wouldn't why would you send money away from my family? I mean, totally reasonable. Totally reasonable five. Like JP Morgan is some mom and dad shopped on the side selling, you know, root beer floats and, you know, an occasional mortgage. Actually, like from the family. So I was like, you know what? Focus, focus, okay? You know what? You went, you went, you really overreacted. She's something else is going on, okay? And so now this is where Ramona starts really, and the guys of helping Sonia goes out of her way to make Sonia feel like shit, because Sonia's like, well, you know, the money's my daughter's future, you know, it's like, well, you know what, Sonia, you know what? So she's the thing. Okay, like, so your family moved away to Tennessee, right?

Family's in Tennessee. Oh Oh yeah, Tennessee, yeah. And your daughter, your dad, the place, right? Your daughter moved out, huh? Your ex has been just talked to you anymore, huh? No, no, I have to know. Remember you had maybe your daughter, me little died and went to these pretty ashes. That's a dead dog, huh?

Right, it's that you're 21, that closed up, huh? That closed up, remember the guy with the napkins? The guy who loved the napkin's he's gone He's gone to remember the girl who was gonna sell your house. She died. Oh, yeah, oh god. Oh, yeah, yeah She's ledger. He died. He's one of your favorite actors, right? Oh my god. You know what I was I'm a Reagan. Yeah, I said name yourself after a candy bar. Oh god. He JFK, Jr. Dad Sorry, sorry, so you're best friends, okay? No, no. Imagine what would happen if Molly died. That could happen next. Oh my god. I'm gonna be. It happens if you stub your toe today. I mean,

everything could just go wrong and you're like, oh! So she's got Sonya just sobbing now, and she's hugging her like, you know what? You know what I think is wrong with you? Here's your biggest fear. She's like putting lotion between her boobs while she talks. She's like, this, okay? Try into breast skin, your biggest fear. Huge, biggest fear.

She's, I don't wanna be alone Ramona. She's got bingo, bingo. Okay. Yeah, that's the big go thing. You know what? You know what? With the wind called Garth. Oh my God.

Garth Garth Garth. You know what that was just making me nuts. Just talking about Garth Garth Garth. Go. Bingo. Get real. That bingo. Garth is Garth that bingo.

Okay. Come get your prize already, okay? Because you had bingo be, go, okay? Come get your prize already, okay? Cause you had bingo like 10 times, okay? You what? Do you know the spothering you? Because you wish you had a Garth, okay?

Garth pains you, okay? Know what you feel like? Amazing, like an amazing young woman probably in her early 30s still? No, you feel a chopped liver. Oh my God, I do feel a chopped liver. Oh my god. I do feel like chopped liver. Bing go okay, there was a chopped liver and its name was bingo. B-I-N-G chop liver okay, get real.

Yeah, everything's coming down to the stalk and the loo. And you, okay, and I feel very upset about it. Okay, she's like, you know, you feel empty. Yeah, I do. And pathetic. Okay. And miserable. Destined to be dead in the house until some brando smells you

for the streak. You won't even know anybody who gets to shit about you by then. Wow, Ramona. Wow. Bink out. Sad kanga. What? That beat.

You sad. You and a big. You and a dog in a house with brown ice. a three of you guys guess what not all you can survive Okay, one's gonna melt one's gonna die and then she's gonna be you okay? That's just what it is bingo bingo grow, okay? You was so good at at that bingo that you're gonna get a dab a darn go-doned bingo Listen you have to get out of this right. It's not called Bing stop. Itthoned bingo. Guy, congratulations. Guy, it's not. Listen, you have to get out of this rut. It's not called Bing Stop. It's called Bing Go.

Okay. So, we have to get you together. No one should ever be in that kind of pain, okay? And it's so hard. I wish I could take it away. Like, well, Fargo took away my business with a sensible mouth. Okay. I wish I could take it away like Wells Fargo took away my business with a sensible mouth. Okay. I

Wish I could take it away Like the way I was able to pay off my mortgage and it's very low- Wells Fargo Breakton didn't have that mortgage ran anymore. I wish I could take it away like that. Okay Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

not-so-expert-expert. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you'd like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen

to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Okay, so later, it's time to get ready to work out girls and Ramona is walking around the house like Diana Michelle. Okay, can you fill this water Michelle Michelle Diana Diana Michelle. So you know what take the soil table bring me the clippers for the flops. Okay, Michelle. Why respect very much. Okay.

Michelle Diana Michelle. You know, I can't remember if you're name is is Michelle or Diana so I'm just gonna put them both together Michelle Michelle, and yeah Michelle Melania Melania Melania whoa whoa Melania Trump works for me wow You know what today is my day to plan you have the theme of burning man, which was really whimsical It was fun. I thought that I just love Leah. So I wanted to do something completely opposite of what Leah did. Okay, okay. Just see it.

Okay. You want the opposite of Bingo? Leah. Okay. So I wanted to do something elegant with manners, with upbringing, with clairs, like breakfast destiny. Yeah. So we're going to do that.

And so then, um, Ramona's like setting up this table and everything, or not really setting up just doding on it a little bit. And she's with Luan and she's like, you know what? I had a really great talk with Sonia about, you know, you and about Goth. You know, I think she's just lonely, okay? And I think she just wants someone to take interest in her, which makes sense because you know what? I get a lot of interest from J.P. Morgan, okay? Not with Fargo, because they've got low rates, okay? Sorry, sorry.

So then Leah walks up, she's like, hey mom, hi Aunt Lou. What's going on? And they're like, you know what? So like, I'm in the middle of a conversation right now. Can you come back in like five minutes? And then there was like, pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. I mean, what am I supposed to do? And it's so stupid. Like, she's mad. She's watching around the house, like stomping her feet. Meanwhile, they're talking about Sonya. And Sonya's right above them on the stairs. Yeah.

Probably can hear everything that they're saying, right? She's just kind of looking down to see what's going on. Sniffing your armpits, like, still delicious. So Leo's like, I am an open wound right now, and like any little thing is gonna feel like the end of the world because it is the end of the world to me. I mean, it's like my grandmother,

and like, I just would have loved an embrace, and like, not like, get out of here a little runt, you know? Yeah, I mean, it is the end of the world for my grandmother. As a guest, Leah, we know, okay. So then, Lou's like, well, you know, it just saddens me to see how much pain she was in. And it's the drinking. I mean, so much deep, deep,

the river. Wait, you know what? Wait for later, guy. Ow, Louie, you just hit me with your devil stick. Why are you twirling that thing anyway? It's not the theme of the night. So Leah passes Michelle. The hospitality of my sister.

You have a hospitality system. She passes by her. She goes, oh my God, how do you work for Ramona? She's such a dumb bitch. Okay, she's I don't even deal with that She's such a dumb fucking bitch So then I was like Michelle Michelle Diana, can I have a garbage, please? No, I'm not not no that's that's Sonya's clothes No, not that I want real garbage, okay. Thank you So then Leah sees Sonya and she's going off to her. She's like, I mean, I'm like a

most of her with my family and like having her be a stock up bitch. It's just like too much fucking bad. That's not fucking bad. And Sony is just laughing. Because they've all had teenage daughters. So they're just like you see this. So Sony is like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay, well I'll talk to dad and see if he can get you a boat in Santa Pei and see if that works. Sonia, I'm not your daughter. Oh, okay.

So then Ramona's down setting or helping set the table with her staff. And she's like, well, Abbinie, you know what? These are rollups, okay? You know what, should I have a rollup in the middle of the plate? Should I have a tortilla burrito, okay? What are you thinking? No, what? I'm just opened everything right now.

Ebony, tell me what you think. And Ebony is like, okay, whatever, gorgeous. I love burritos personally, but whatever. Emily sees that much. She goes, oh, this is interesting. So Ebony comes in and you have a conversation with her. But you know what? Because I was having a private conversation and a loud voice in a public space over there earlier, okay?

That's all. You know what, you're honestly such a frickin' bitch, it's insane. Oh, I'm not getting oysters because I'm not gonna be treated like a second-class citizen. Huh. Ooh, and the epinease is like, uh, what happened? Yeah, you don't get it because you haven't been dealing with this, but she's a fucking psychopath

that lies about COVID tests. Okay. So what? I was having a very private conversation with the wind. Okay. It was very intimate. Did you know that Homebook is free? It's 3.7.

I said, you could do better. And then he goes, you're freaking rude. That's it. She just, Leah's just having her own tan,rum and just no one really seems to care, right? You know, no one cares. No one's engaging with Leah. Ramona literally goes, okay, Leah, go ahead. Go ahead.

She's screaming on her. I mean, while Garth is arriving, he's tapping on the window to be let in. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. So Leah is just still ranting and saying, you know, she is so rude. Like, she's so fake. I can't handle it. I just can't. Like she's so fake. I can't handle it. I just can't. I can't do it. I can't do it.

So Sonya's like, oh, well, you know, I don't want you hurting and Garth is like bringing the doorbell like, can I come in please? Hmm. So they're calling each other psycho basically. Remunters with you like, she's being psycho, okay? You know what? It was intimate, okay? It's that, it's intimate.

I don't want to have the whole conversation with her that explain why I'm being intimate, okay? And then when I go, yeah, Ramona, that's called social cues. Something that Ramona's also not quite known for. Excuse me, yeah. Then I run into Epony and I wanna show my table, okay? And then Leah walks in and says,

oh, you can talk to her and not me I mean can you believe it and Leuand's like well, I'm gonna go workout I'm Jesus, Leuand get the door get the door Leuand your horse here. Oh, hey Garth. He's like I love Let's just accent. He's like I think he's South African Oh, but it sounds sort of it but it does sound a little bit like her to dirty I love it. It's just accent. She's like, hey, I think he's South African. Oh, it sounds sort of, but it does sound a little bit like horror to do. It sounds like it's very like a comedy of you. It sounds like it's mega.

Yeah, I could be a little bit of everything. So, um, so Sonia's on the balcony and she's like waving to Garth even though she hates him and she's like, I mean, I'm happy for Luan that she found love or a big dick or whatever this guy is But Jesus, not the greatest things in sliced bread. Oh, then we does kind of look like sliced bread if you really think about it Kind of love bread and then Luan's like, I'm Sonya Sonya we can see up your slip. I'm Sonya So, we can see up your slip, I'm Sonya. And, well right now, I think this group could really use a workout with Garth. I mean, everyone could use a workout with Garth.

And more ways than one, but I guess, I guess the implication there is I'm the lucky lady who gets them. So, Ramona comes sashing out and she's like, oh, God, did you get tall over 9, 7 foot? And she sticks out her teeth like, yeah, just that shoulder pumping my Ramona shoulder. And so she tells us, you know what, what makes Garth really hot? He's smile, his eyes, the way he speaks, Luian, the highlights and his ear hair. You know what? Someone could be good looking and not hot, and someone could be average looking and hot,

or someone could be really old and gross, but they have a yacht, which is hot, or they could be young and have a steamboat, which is not. Or they could be a boat that wishes it was a man, so they could be hot. There was another boat with similar ambitions, so the first boat didn't have to get resentment from a partner about being a successful working boat woman with her own money guy You know what some people good looking but they're not hot and some people are hot and they're also Ageless I mean what can I say I'm not gonna say what category? I mean, but let's just say once more JP Morgan once more well as fog off. You know what I'm saying okay?

So Ebony goes down to the basement for her own glam squad moment, and Garth goes to work out the ladies and Ramona literally comes skipping out. She's like, whoa! Oh, I got it! Here comes the Wien's hot best friend, Ramona, Kai. So, Lou Ann starts doing squats, which are like so literally mmm Mmm. Oh

Capri squat and then so Sonya just looks out the window she goes, oh, I hate this shit Planks and all that She's like a fucking eight-garth Yeah, oh Sonya get down and repeat Sonya you need to get down and repeat the repeat the clanks on you. Oh, God, we have to hear God's guys. And now we have to work out with God's right leg back on the right leg. Sonia, other right, so wow, Sonia have four legs. Sonia put other legs on. So then downstairs, Ebony is getting she has her glam squad down in Ramona's basement.

The least glamorous scene of all time. The glam squad dressed as if they are extras from the HBO series Trenobl. Like they are just all in like hazmat suits and all their PPE, like applying makeup onto this woman because she's gonna go oyster shocking. You know. So Sony is just complaining and Sony goes, hey, you know what I what exercise I want to do. I want some of those rose kind of glasses. The band's wearing got any got. Geez.

And the ones that well, I mean, Sony is just not happy and I mean who can play her? I have a cabaret career and I have a Garth and I can understand why she's not happy and it's best summed up in this old show tune oh the for today okay I'm sorry get off that river

it's moon river that's tonight we're gonna start drinking the night time not Oh, no, okay, you're on the wrong river for today. Okay. I'm sorry. Get off that river Moon river that's tonight. We're gonna start drinking the nighttime not during the day. Okay, the land's just on a river She's having a river day. She's a cap race on So so now yeah now Leah has joined in this like glam and the space where Previously Louis had been attacked by a spider last season. And there's just more. And then the girls are just like, they have these exercise balls. You're slamming them down and Ramona's like, take that, the bitch. Don't be jealous. Girl, bingo. Get real exercise ball. Get real. B-I-N-G. Wow, boy.

I had a ball and bingo. What's his name? Oh, B-A-N.G. Whoa! Guys! I had a ball and fingerwet's name. Oh, B-A-L-L. No more letters, okay? No finger for you, ball. So then, Evanie and Lee are talking and Evanie asks how she's dealing with Ramona and Lee is like, I'm going to take a vow of silence until 6 p.m. Will you let the girls know because I'm gonna start now? I don't want them to even know.

It's gonna be wacky. And Ebony's like, of course, I'm a professional voice for the voiceless. I'm like, well, I don't know. This. Okay, so then we go on to the next, my, my new favorite thing of this episode. By the way, for people who are like New York isn't good this year.

Like we've already had double sticks. We have, now comes the lamb curry section. Wow, Garth is gonna be making lamb curry tonight everyone. Yeah. Oh, wow. These girls are already jealous of my cabaret career and having a Garth. And guess what? I have a boyfriend and just wait till they taste his curry

Well the girls want to go oyster sucking cars. I'd rather suck you by me I'm gonna write that down show of hands before we move on to the next scene who here has a boyfriend who makes excellent curry Only me only me me, oh, sorry, Sonia. So now they're getting ready to get McCart, I think, right? So everyone is like, yo, what? What? Leah, Leah, you need to call. Hey, Leah, do you need to call?

Leah, are you gonna get a call? I'm not gonna get a call. You got a call? That is like welcome to Ben Mandelker from age, one to present whenever I go home. I'm around my parents my mom. You're gonna need to have your coat I'm like mom. It's 85 degrees out. You're gonna need to have your coat So I just the Ramona Leah dynamic is so it's just so hilarious how they get into these roles of mother daughter and forcing a heavier note on her and

And then when when Leah doesn't take the coat, then she tries to put the coat on to us. So I'm just like, so yeah, I have a coat. You've got a great coat. You want to wear a coat? And when we wear a coat? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? If you're in my office, I'm having a, he's like, they're okay. Romana. Okay. So you know what? Can you talk? Are you okay? You know what? Do you have Loret G G's? Hey, what's wrong? Lauren is Darius. Yeah, Lerid Darius. What's wrong with you guys? And Ebony's like she's not speaking until 6 p.m.

It's called self-care. She goes, whoa, like sage? You want me to sage her, okay? For this? Sager. You want me to play bingo? That helped at all? B.I.N.G.O? Anything? No? To see for your own Ravanna. What am I supposed to say it. You want to play Bingo? Does that help at all? B-I-N-G-O?

Anything? No? To see for your own Ravanna. What am I supposed to do? You know what? I'll get a S.H. Bang. Now make a coat me out of S.H.

And we can burn it on her. Bang. So they get packed up into the van and the van is doing one of those voice messages. Yeah. It's too sweet back when I've rolled hits. In fact, to Garth. And she's like, well, Garth, I prefer them, but if you have to get chicken, so be it. Question mark. She literally does the question mark thing again. Garth, there's a lot of hype around

this car. It's a no pressure, but I really do think lamb is the direction that we should be going. Period. Are you and girth still talking about lamb? I mean, she's always on the phone with guard, guard, guard. Now it's all about lamb, lamb, lamb, lamb. I just can't. I want lamb. Did you get lamb? I love lamb. Do you love lamb? I love lamb. I'm talking to lamb. Why are we faking a lamb? We've been told, I said I said the ladies Garth. Okay Get no not a lamp lamp Little Bob Bob our

You what I want lamb okay, yeah, well I did I told him to get lamb. Did you give me the money mommy? Says Sonya. You know, I mean, so she's a link to an like don't throw donuts when you live in a sprinkle house. Okay, ma'am. True. So Evan, he's like, just stop. Sonya, just leave her alone already. And we're going to go see you. What? Someone pressed with God. He's so sweet. He's so nice. You know, some guys are hot, but they're not good. Look. Some's so sweet. He's so nice. You know, some guys are hot but they're not good. Look, some guys are good looking but they're not hot. We get it, Ramona. Ground lamb. Not a lamb top ground. Will make me... I mean, you could chop it up if you want.

Period. Sound. Mm. Jo, Evan, he says, well, you know, he is cute. I mean, he's not really my speed. Oh, what? He's my speed guy. And the way it says, I don't know anyone who wouldn't do that speed, honey. Lamb. I said lamb. Oh, he's so hot. So then Evan, he's like, what?

I just don't really do a don as types, you know, I like my man to have a little bit of a belly, not incorporating me into his life at all that kind of thing Yeah, yeah me too. I want a dad bod. Yeah dad bod You know, I don't want him to have hair. I mean Garth is just so much hair and Luan's like You don't like his hair and everybody because well he does have a head full of hair I mean you married a bald guy though, right? Lewand. So this is a nice change for you. Answering you goes, well, she was with my bald guy.

That was my bald guy that she married by the way. And then this is when Lewand's lips start to curl like around her teeth a little bit because she's already upset about the lamb situation. And she goes, he was never your guy. He was a fuck for you. so let's not exaggerate. Oh yeah well he was my bald friend first okay my bald friend you know what Sonia I'm getting sick of you just be happy for me once in a while. Look at him. No one wants some goddamn frickin' curry! Listen, don't be jealous of the fact that I have a beautiful boyfriend who makes the world's best curry.

While I'm up on stage seeing Cabaret! I know there's a lot to be jealous of, and yes, I am sorry, I did just hit you in the face with my devil stick. But the point- LAM! Well, he was, he was my bald guy. He was never your, bald guy. He married me. He was never your guy.

He fucked you one night. One night! One night. Well, I was a damn fool then. And then Leah's doing her like silent treatment. She's like, one night. Oh. Yeah.

And then it's like, little digs, little digs everywhere. Little, little, little digs. My Yeah, well you all set a couple of my other couple of my other guys have been with you like Harry Oh, she's starting you would choose me to Harry and you have it so confused in your little Curly-less brain your brain is not right right now Your brain is thinking it's gonna have chicken tonight. Well, I've got another thing coming for that tiny brain No, Garth. She thinks she's having chicken. We're having lamb Sorry Your brain is just not right right now Sorry. Your brain is just not right right now. You know, a lot of guys know that you're just friends with benefits.

And suddenly he goes, he proposed to me and then you got an attack with him. So then Ramona's texting Leah. The man is being so hard on Sonja right now. As if Ramona did not yell at her last name. Be real. And Leah, right now't have any comments. Yeah, so, he's like, you know, Lou, I'm just, I'm gonna have to tell you the truth right now about yourself.

And the way I'm like, oh, can't wait for this one. Be careful. Beak at the truth about me. Okay, let's start. Let's call it two truths in a lie. I'm dating the most gorgeous man on earth who makes the most beautiful lamb, Kari that you've ever had.

And I have a wonderful cabaret career. And the lie is that no one knows my music. Okay. Well listen, Sonya had a breakdown last night. And we all saw it. We all saw that. So I think that that breakdown comes from It was rooted in Sonya correct me if I'm wrong Sonya Sonya feels worthless

Like nobody really values her. She's gonna giant. Well, she's gonna die alone. She's got no money She's got no money everyone hate like everyone just call her a dump slut. Everyone just calls her a dump slut Everyone hates, like everyone just calls her a dump slut. Everyone just calls her a dump slut. We go, we go, sorry. You know what, it's like, so many guys treated like she has no value. You know what, like a loan that's afforded from J.P. Morgan. Never happened to have less part of that. So this narrative of you're just a one night stand

and people don't take you seriously and you're a trash woman not to be there. I never said she was a trash woman not to be dated Yes, you did you said she had a small brain and she's a one night fuck. Well, yes that part's true But the other part stop miswording it. All right lyrics are important These words were written for a reason So I mean it's like I just think that Sona need some affirmations, you know, and so he's like, yeah, these were one-night stands.

These are my relationships that I treasure. And then Lwang goes, hello, what is this jealousy? So jealous. Oh, look at this jealous one. Maybe you will get some chicken curry, the inferior curry if you ask me. And so he goes, well, listen, I just don't like seeing my guys in your backyard. Literally, the man you've got one in your backyard. It's like jealous, jealous.

You know, I would think that Sony would be happy for me, but she's taken over. She's just taking, I just, I get it. You know what? Don't ruin my party. Yeah. Yeah. She's just taking over by, it's not fair. I want a boyfriend too.

You would think should be happy for me, which is one of my favorite parts of the Luan cycle every two or three years. We get the, you would think she would be happy for me season and I'm sort of getting a nice like dose of it right now. Come on girlfriend. So, she's like, Sonia, Sonia Rita,

are you jealous that I have a boyfriend right now? And Sonia's like, I'm jealous that you're spending more time with him than me You know, I feel like what's that word? So I've gone to my brain early this morning chop chop Lived liver chop liver that's someone who lives but in a choppy way and that's how I feel right now And every time a new guy comes in it's like, well, we the loser club with the chicken curry I mean you're like Sony Sony is so full of shit the whole season started with them Mad because Sonya would not call them back and totally ghosted them

And lose says that she's like you ghosted me for 10 months And she says well at least it wasn't for a guy Yeah, and and she goes well, I what yeah, she was like at least wasn't for that and Laman goes well Now that we have that off our chest, you know They always say you hurt the ones you love the most am I right and I don't feel very hurt So you must not love me. How could you not be happy for me right now? You know what love the one you with Love the one you with no not chicken In the middle of the night all go up is it

Leuand stop singing river of dreams. Okay, you're on the wrong river again Wrong river again. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh was just gonna apologize to that burnt pizza, but I threw it out the window, and hit him down on the street. I hope he worked at Rocco's, okay? You want me? What? So mad. You know what, it's misplaced anger.

It's sort of like the time I misplaced my bill from JP Morgan, and I didn't pay it, because they didn't have electronic banking, like the far more innovative Wells Fargo Kai So Louis adds hugging Sony now. She's like I only want you to be happy And I'm always here for you and let's Garth calls which I'm still the phone call away Which I won't answer but you can leave a voice for unless it's full in which case just look at my poster in homalong Oh, right so yeah

And they're hugging and Ebony just cracks up. She goes, you ladies, like she is, she's at that moment, she's basically us, which makes sense because she apparently is like a provost, super fan. But like she just cracks up, like these ladies are crazy and she's like, if someone had said like, if that were my friends or Fluans said that about me, like it would, like I would need a moment.

Like it would not be, it would not be resolved like this. Yeah, my way, I was like, don't worry Sonya. I'm not getting married again, okay And if I have a threesome we'll call you first I'm gonna say wow that's generous what the heck did I do to you? so they arrive at the oyster place and Leo steps out of the van and she says thank you and accidentally breaks for valve silence But of course no one's paying attention. So she's like hmm And she's trying to gesture and we get like

If you ever wondered what a game of charades would be with the real house was of New York This is it's like what's wrong? What's going on? There's a bond on fire. There's a sale at sex Cuz she's just doing this like something's coming out of her mouth. She needs what he wants You want to throw up? She hates chicken. Garth look at this. All right, just in case you didn't get the message yet, right? Hey, it's chicken. Garth, I'm sending you a video You can actually give her chicken. I think it would be hilarious. She hates it, but it would be funny to watch her eat it. Look, look at her. But for the rest of us, lamb, lamb!

Oh god. Lee is just like, um, I'm not a fucking mimor. I was just trying to tell them by accident. I said, thank you. I was like, okay, the story of mine is already stupid. Please give it up. You're not doing so great. Leia K drop it Yeah, at the peak when when Ramona said do you have Lauren Geritis? That was like okay, this is funny and I was like okay now we can drop it So this is over played okay get rid of it Leia So you know they're here getting oysters because I'm sorry to interrupt you. I'm sorry to interrupt you

Why can't you be happy for me, Ronnie? They're called Mimes, not Mimers. How dare you? I'm just another artist to artist. Mimers, Mimers. I actually have the greatest Mime of Northern Connecticut opening for me at the rabbit hole this weekend. So come on down and get tickets to count us and friends and Mimes. Oddly enough, it was a mine who played maim.

It was. It was. Please welcome the my main. Main mine. And unfortunately, our mine did lose a finger at the show. So our mine from maim was maimed. To maim the mine was maimed. To me, my main.

Well, we're going to be playing in May next. So our main mind from maim will be in man. Okay, so go ahead. So they're going to to work for David Ben, the Ben and Jerry's of oysters, David Ben or the Dave and Busters of oysters. The Dave and Jerry's, so Dave and Ben, it's oysters. We really made me, I got out of love with oyster. I've been having one in like, since pre-pandemic. So, Ramona, so they, first they touch like little baby oysters

and then they pull out some oysters from the sea, which have like gone, gone them and they're kind of attached. Ramona is, has her salient observations about that. That really should be broadcast on Animal Planet. You know what the first time you see a baby, it's not so clean and pretty, except for Avery who was gorgeous when she came out of my womb, you know, that's like the oyster, okay.

It's like not so clean and pretty. I'm like oysters are never clean and pretty. It's like rocks with clean and pretty and like oysters are never clean and pretty It's like rocks with goo inside delicious. Yeah, but not pretty Booker rocks and there's like kind of clean sucking on to each other like all stuck together basically and Lucas This is how Ramona and Sonia wake up Write it down two jealous bitches So right it down to jealous bitches. So Silver Monika's okay day buster okay you

know how when you get winded store and it's more expensive than like wine if you just had your refrigerator okay you just look like how much you charge a restaurant for the oyster and they're like they're less than a dollar each and suck are you kidding me well that's not Ramona is furious or I still the episode about these oysters But she's also like Lucille Bluth because you know that that famous Lucille Bluth quote

Which goes I mean how much could a banana cost $10 because Ramona says you know when you get a oyster to restaurant And they charge like six dollars a piece like if you were buying six dollar oysters You need to leave that restaurant. That's way too much. Oh Really I think oysters are like like at a fancy place About two dollars maybe three dollars. Well, I won't say that like I'm not a fan But like I think tuna dollar and two dollars if you get a dozen oysters It's gonna cost about like about like 24 to 30 dollars, I think. So $6.

It does six times 12, six times 12 is 72. Would you spend 72 dollars on 12 oysters? No. Hell no. I ordered a pizza that was $22 and I felt like a limo should be driving it up to me. I know. In LA, like, a Vito's pizza, you order one at $28. I'm like, what is happening?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So there's Shocking Royster and it's pretty boring or whatever. We're talking golf. Did I say that already? Did I use that? Did it work better this time or an act one?

Ben, Ben Rumolahra, can we work that into the script tags? Write that down, write that down. So they're all mad. So they're all mad because they can't get the lawyers, the oysters open. They're like, whoa, this is really hard. I was like, I did it. Oh, it's really so easy. Look at me, just the natural is shocking. Wow, it's like cabaret just comes from the soul it doesn't it girls Dave Buster take a picture of me doing this with the noise. Alright oysters great news tonight instead of eating you you all get a ticket to my cabaret at the rabbit hole featuring the main to main for me who was's in Maine? Name the rival.

So run as well. Oh, by the way, I don't know if you heard about this. I don't know if you heard about this Ronnie But my opening act sort of had a viral moment and is now all over the internet So you might have seen a meme of my maimed mind from Maine who once was in Maine. I don't know It's it's made to the moment to be honest. Okay, where are we? So Ramona is Ramona's just grossed out. She's like, you know what? I never want to see an oyster in its natural form.

And so everyone now gets to go to his old friend. grossed out. She's like, you know what? I never want to see an oyster in its natural form. Get! And so everyone now gets their oysters over and she's like, you know what? Mine's broken. I've got to broke my skills up. I can't try. I can't open up my oyster. Oh my god. This is almost like Mario's inner thoughts. I can't quite get into it. What's going on? So, Leah's like, um, all right, I'm talking now. Okay, everybody. Let's talk about everything I miss, like on the bus. Just kidding, just kidding. Okay, so look, really what I want to talk about is we're yelling at Heather tonight, right?

Because fuck that bitch. Yeah. That's basically what she, she realizes, she suddenly realized that her valve silence, she's losing valuable time to get people mad at Heather. So she's like, Riley, everyone up. And she's like, I mean, I barely even met this woman. And then we get a flashback of Heather being like, Hey, mama, nice to meet you.

So, so Leah says, I mean, she talks about you guys and the press all the time, saying the nastiest things. Like, is she gonna talk about me? Is she gonna talk about Ebony I'm like Leah why Have you think that Heather is the first person talk shit in the press about these ladies amongst this dude there are these scandals come and go on the real housewives of New York like these oysters themselves remember there was a whole thing where Sonya, Sonya put something in page six and another episode, Ramona put something in page six. Like this is just what happens. Yeah, and Lee is also setting herself up here to be a huge hypocrite because yes, Heather's been on the show

She's allowed to talk about her time on the show. They all do that. They write a book about it Or they go on interviews about it and every time they do anything else They're asked about their time on the housewives So Leah's setting herself up here like you're not gonna be on the housewives forever Well, maybe you will be you know who knows but chances are you're not so what are you gonna do when you go on these You're gonna go on like a whole tour and be giving your opinions on everyone and what fake bitches They are and how much you hate Ramona and everything else. Like why is it? Why is there an expiration date just because you're not on it anymore?

I mean, Leah's been giving interviews about what an asshole Ramona is with her, you know, COVID, her COVID or blood donation or plasma donation. She went out like, what's the big deal? She was on a cameo. She went on a cameo with the reasons that Ramona shit her pants at a, don't reason why we know that Ramona should her pants in Rhode Island is because of Leah and Elise. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's just a better.

Yeah. But that she just hates Heather like she is ready to come for Heather. So Ramona goes, you know what? She's a good person. Okay. She's good. Why? She's good mother.

And then he's like, can we stop with this good mother thing? Like she can be like she's a raging bitch. But at least she's good. Why? She's good mother and everybody's like can we stop with this good mother thing like she can be like she's a raging bitch But at least she's a good mom They laugh So then Ramona said well, you know what she's coming she's staying over and everyone's like staying over like on the lower the lower level Put her down there with the spiders, okay? It's good enough for a cap restart better. Well damn well be good enough for a cap restart. Better well done, well be good enough for Heather. Fucking Thompson. So now it's nighttime, they're back at Ramona's and they have to get an Audrey Hepburn due for their breakfast.

Tiffany's gay. And Ramona's like, you know what? Aubrey, she comes down with her updo and her pearl necklace and her little black dress. That's like Audrey Hepburn always had jazz playing, okay? She comes down with her updo and her pearl necklace and her little black dress Like Audrey Hepburn always had chance playing, okay? Thank you Eli for remembering candles and also I need music Michelle Diana See if I Diana Michelle this looks beautiful. I really outdid myself Eli I just want you to know you're doing great job and also the reason why I hired you is because you only have three letters in your name So be easier for me to remember, okay, Ely. Oh, okay great listen, but music on like Aubrey Hepburn, okay, I want to listen so

So then so Sonya comes downstairs just as Heather walks in and no one's really there to greet Heather No one's like oh my god Heather so she's like Hi Sonia. Hi mama. Hello and so I was like hi Guess what mama? I brought Bobby pins because I thought we gotta have up to this and so I was like great Great So I was like I don't have Bobby pins so that's good. I need some. Now, they're like, Oh, I have some. I have some.

I can help you. I have them in my bag. Wonderful. You're the queen of updies. And you're going to help me with my updie. Aren't you, Sonia? I'm just like, yeah. Sonia's like, hell, no.

So then, Heather sees for much. Hey, mama. Oh my god. You look amazing. Well, thanks. I want God, you look amazing. Well, thanks. I want to look like Andrea Hartburn, okay? So guess what? Come with me. You're going downstairs, okay? You're going to lower level. You're going to have your own private

beer room and you're on personal, spider butt la. That's gonna be wonderful. She's like, I love it, mama. Yeah, I walked in and things were kind of cold as ice, but then I got banished to the low revuvel, but I really like it. You know what I like? Separation. So then everyone gathers and they're all dressed like Audrey Hepburn.

And they're like, oh, hi, darling. Hi, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, and like Marley is running around between them and everything and and Leah They're all dressed like sort of classic Audrey Hepburn, but Leah sort of has like a black and white Jacket kind of thing she looks like she's wearing some like sheet from Gadsooks, okay, and so Ramona's like, you know what? I want to start a mic, but Leah Looks amazing because she's so original, so strike what a rebel guy. I love Ramona is Ramona is doing whatever she can to keep Leah

from yelling at her at all times, you know, every single interview she's like, you what? Leah's burning man was discussing the amazing and fun. I'm not. Burning band was discussing the amazing and fun. I'm not. So, uh, so, uh, so, and it's like, she, so it is basically like, I don't want to be drunk around Heather because she, as she's like, I don't know what she's going to say about me.

She's going to say I'm on pills. I'm like, you are. You are. I'm on pills. She just has to watch one episode of the show to come to that conclusion. This episode. Yes. Episode. So Heather comes up and say, hi. episode of the show to become to that conclusion. This episode. This episode.

So Heather comes up and she's like, hi, well I sure pulled it together, huh? And Leah like won't talk to her. She's like, I'm not doing the fake shit. Like, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. She's doing the fake shit because she's doing the most. I'm not doing the fake shit.

I'm like, it's called just being polite, okay? Like, you don't have to be brutally honest with your feelings at all time. You can still not like someone and just be polite and be just like a gracious person That's great. Ebony. Where are you from North Carolina? I love North Carolina. My sister-in-law lives there It's great. You ever wonder if there should be a West Carolina sometimes. Wouldn't that be nice if you had another Different type of Carolina? That's great. Ebony. That's great That would be nice if you had another different type of Carolina. That's great, Ebony. That's great.

That would be fun. And Ebony's like, well, they hate this bitch, but she asked me about myself. And those words don't roll off the tongues of the other ladies. So she's fine with me. Yeah. So Eli starts, Ramona had asked for a tequila shot, but Eli starts pouring shots for everyone.

Ramona's like, whoa, Eli, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. On Bingo, on bingo, okay? Don't give everyone to shock these girls can't drink okay? I'm supposed to all I'm the only one supposed to get the shot okay all three This girl don't even drink whoa whoa whoa So back at the table the way I'm like so Leah you doing your podcast And then the wing goes it's's, it's not gas lighting. It's just lighting the match.

I'm like, that literally makes no sense. Nothing about this is gas lighting. This is what we gas lighting. He didn't say, so Leah, you have a podcast. How's your podcast? I don't have a podcast. Oh, I love your podcast. Tell us more about your podcast.

I don't have one. Uh, uh, tell us more. No one, I'll probably know how to use gaslighting properly. Nobody. So Lee is like, you know what? Like I don't have it anymore because like I'm just like sick of talking, you know what I mean? I like to do it for five years.

And I've talked a lot. Now I'm like, dumb, like, dumb talking. You're a man because you don't have so back. That you never talk about another person on that for five years Oh, I'm sure that was so cool This is not Michael Jay. I'm sure she didn't talk about Michael Jay at all Isn't that funny how that all just resurfaced again that Michael Jay stuff and people are like so mad about it again Where were you guys last year? This is art. I love housewives news

It just comes back again and now people are all freshly super pissed off. Like they didn't just standly for a year after knowing all of that stuff. Yeah. Let's get kills me. It's like, oh, we have just heard it. You did not just hear it. Okay. So anyway, back with Ramona, she's in the kitchen with Deli. And she's like, you know what? She's glasses so spent at see what she shouldn't put him in the fridge. Okay. Very expensive places. He's like, um, actually, they're chilled already. She's like, you know what? You what? I would never, ever hit you, Delly. Okay. Never even hit you. No, I, okay. I have used value name.

I think you did a great job. Maybe I miss. Cup. Unicated it to you. to you. Okay, which is my fault. Valley, okay. Listen, all in, okay. You know what, this is expensive to kill us. We're gonna pour it back in, but since you killed it, we're gonna put those in the fridge. And you know what, here's the thing,

they can't have to kill it because some people have situations where they don't know how to, what's that word? Handle their alcohol. Okay. That's what it is. So then back at the table, but then he does, but then she's like, I'm going to do, she's like, I'm going to do, you know, I'm going to do my shots and he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

He's like, uh, the nights early, you should pace yourself. She's, hold on. Remonna does the shot. She drinks it really slow. Wow. Yummy. No, I'm calling you by your name yummy. Could you get me another shot? Please. Thank you, yummy. Thank you. Great delivery service. Okay. So then, um, Evany is back at the table. So, well, I just launched my podcast about three weeks ago.

And it goes, lost it. Who canceled you? I don't want to be canceled. They canceled her podcast. Wow, if that's not cast, I don't know what is. No, I'm not canceled. I launched it. I started my podcast and then it goes, Oh, I have a podcast too. And Lee is like, oh my God, if I was Heather and I was showing up to a house full of women that I've enraged, that I've dragged through the mud, like if someone even said the word podcast, I'd be like, so I also love the, I love how Leah is so furious that Heather being fake one here. They are being the height of phoniness by being like oh podcast. Oh, you have a podcast Heather. Oh, I

don't know yet a podcast. She's so fake. She's so fake. I'm like you get to the fake as one in the room right now. So then dinner served. And then he's like, which fork do I use? Well, it depends. Do we have a curry fork? Do we have a curry fork? It's specifically designed for lamb, lamb curry. We're having a, Gar, don't tell me you got the,

you made chicken curry. I specifically told you lamb curry. So Heather, you have a podcast. She goes, I do. I do. And we're on, it's like, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You know, I've really liked that Future guests probably Oprah

Megan and Harry definitely who were on Oprah already, but you know what all it's like a big carful of inspiring people You could be on you could be on it. Malala is gonna be on there. Malala. Wait no What do you need from Malala? Okay, she's writing the kitchen. Okay, wait. I can get it for you. Okay the kitchen okay wait I can get it for you okay. That's Eli. Lou you could be on it and it's like oh well I already have been on it apparently. Leah was telling me about things that you said in the press and then it's like oh really what did you see?

I was in the press I was. It's a good podcast. Yeah and Leah's like yeah well remember well, remember high-pertend, like I had no idea the podcast, but guess what? I saw something in the press about it. And like you said, the band did hard drugs when they were in the same bar for something.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there was an article. I know what you're talking about. There was an article. It says something like Oprah's coming soon. It didn't say anything about the WAN specifically, just mostly, you know, that Oprah loves me. And it's the catchy headline. It doesn't say the WAN did drags. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. It absolutely does.

You know, it was just such an honor to get so much press for a three-week-old podcast. You guys should subscribe to it. It's called Heather's Superdoll podcast, Superdoll conversations. No? Yeah. You should listen to it's called Heather's Superdoll podcast, Superdoll Superdoll conversations. No. You should listen to it. You know, I'm not specifying Lewann. I was specifying Lewann. I just said hard drugs. Okay, well, let me tell you what happened. And Leah goes, me personally, if someone does drugs in front of me, I'm not saying anything to anyone. She's like, oh, me neither, me neither. She's you just did. And she picks up the phone and Luana goes, I didn't even do drugs, that's so lame.

I didn't do drugs, I just did a pirate. So then, I had this like, I was like, listen, listen, okay, Leah, listen, okay, okay, okay, you know what, fine. You do you and I'll do me. Well,'re doing you is like talking about people's very intimate things Then like how is that you all right and there's like I I actually didn't say any of it at all. I didn't say any of it. I'm kind of feeling a little ambushed here So Leah starts reading the article she's like, um, okay, here is a quote. I open the door like highly ran. Are you okay? And she's like, yeah, I'm okay. Why don't you come

in? And so I go in. And then she like hands me a joint. And it goes, yeah, not hard drugs. That a hard drug. A joint. I mean, it's basically, it's, it's, it's, it's nothing, right? And then the stronger drugs came out. And I said, whoa, I'm not into this. So there's nothing, right? And then the stronger drugs came out and I said, whoa, I'm not into this. So there's like, no, but I never said the way I had the stronger drugs, I never said that. And by the way, if you remember, this was the whole B cool, don't be, like don't be uncool thing, I'm assuming,

is this, I believe this was a trip, right? Remember the guy stayed over and had their lost her shit. I'm assuming that I always get confused the same parts of St. Thomas's whatever. I don't know where Heather like ran in and tore open the drake so I was like, you had a man in here. It looks so bad. So then, so then Heather's like, let's look.

Okay, I was on the podcast with someone and we were talking about an experience and it wasn't about you, it was about my experience that I had. Well, who was the guest? Carol, oh bitch. Oh, bitch, I hate that bitch. And she tells us, whenever I see anything, Carol,

I swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. Goodbye, Carol, Rutsville. I just, that Luanne had that instinctual oh bitch Oh bitch Hey guys, I just have to say why I just want to look forward to December when it's Christmas time and there's just like Murth and Carol's oh bitch Oh bitch. Oh, God, you know those brainis. They're so fun.

And that carol. Oh, bitch. Garth, can you just bring out that curry? Can you tell us what's in there? Well, there's chicken. Oh, bitch. I said lamb. So Leah's like, I mean, I don't even care if she was in there like shooting her or something

and Heather and goes, well, you know, that's a felony actually. You were talking about me. Heather says, well, I mean, if you heard it, there were compliments in there. Lewann. She's not an airy compliment in that. Well, no, look, here's one. I remember I said this. How lucky is Lueanne that she gets to live such a life of delusion.

I wish I could be her. Wow, for someone making it so far with so little. I mean, that's something nice, isn't it, William? Oh, bitch. Oh, bitch. So Leah is like, oh, I just read something else now. She says, I thought it was a real friendship, but nothing I learned with Luann is genuine.

And then I go, what? Heather just looks like she goes, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's true. I said that. I did say that. This is like a smile. Like, yeah, I did say that. And it's just like so, like so, like Heather Thompson savored.

I did say, yeah, you're not a good person. Oh, I did say that. I did say that. Louie Angus. What? Leo, read it again. Read it again. Read it again.

So, yeah. So he was cracking up. And she's like, well, you gotta give her kudos for being truthful. And the way I go, but why talk about it on your podcast? You know, I mean, I don't need for you to talk about me to gain popularity. She's, um, no, I wouldn't say that that was what happened because I'm relevant. Yeah, I wouldn't say that that's what was happening.

Luan was like, whoa, look at how pretty these burrito bro. Sorry. I love that. Everyone was like, whoa, look at how pretty these burrito bro loves our game. I love that, Lou Ann said, because I'm relevant, you know, because I'm relevant, you know, don't use my relevancy to boost your podcasts. Yeah, that's not what I'm saying, but you know what, what Leah just read to me, I take no issue with that because I get it. I said that, okay. And if you have a problem with that, that's okay, Lou Ann.

That's okay. She was like, I just don't want to be talking about. Oh, I get it. I said, I get it. I said,, okay. And if you have a problem with that, that's okay, the way I'm, that's okay. She was like, I just don't want to be talked about. Oh, I get it. I said, I get it. I said, I get it. And then she gets that like evil glimmer in her eyes where she's still smiling that she's like, bitch, I said it was a nut. Okay.

She really is like, and then she like turns it and she's like, you know, we always had so much fun together, even if it was insincere, mostly on your part. And I'm so glad to see that you've been all the things you've been through, a divorce, and a rest, public humiliation, falling off the wagon, all those things, you know, and you came out on the other end of what exactly I'm not sure. It's like being shat out of the hippopotamus. You came out the other end, but are you better for it? I'm not sure, but I can't wait to talk to you more

Because this way I won't be so surface like it always has been I'm gonna have to like mmm-hmm. Well, I guess it is over I'm I guess there's no elephants in the room. I just don't like elephants in room. So that's done And so Heather's basically shut everybody down That's done. And so Heather basically shut everybody down, shut Leah up, and possibly got Luanne on the podcast as a guest. You know, Heather handily won this one.

I was like, effortlessly. I could not believe, because Ebony at one point said, like, oh, no, never, never represent yourself. Like, let me go in there and I'll do the talking and concede, concede, concede. But Heather just sort of smiled and then just sort of glossed it over where Louie was like oh well I feel like she said her eyes look like they said sorry but

to be honest I wasn't really listening because I was just thinking about that lamb curry that becoming my way and how entertained people will be that I actually have the star of that meme the the maimed mime who was in maimed in maimed at the moment of that meme, the, the named mom who was in Maine, Finn Man. At the moment. So they start talking, they change the subject and they're going to have an art date Lewand's house with Victoria, who's an artist. And this artist had an idea of penises. So they're going to paint some naked guy. And Leah's like, I wonder if he's a shower or a grower.

Buried mom. What do you think of that mom? I'm talking about a penis. I hate when a guy's balls are bigger than his limp dick. Am I right? Am I right? I'm like, you're the one dating some impede chip. I don't know. I like you're, I don't know what judgment I can trust of yours. Yeah, sorry statue of David.

So then Ramona leaves the room and she's talking to Eli. And she's like, you know what? Just for one night, can we have an elegant party? Okay, you know what, the conversations can really nasty bear. Okay, Lai. Yeah, you know, sex again, all these words really, okay. And she's crazy. And it custody I'm saying, if I can't, I don't mean you're just come she's crazy and then custody I think if I got a nice in your ass

He's not a real man Doesn't even make sense She's tired. It's just so tiresome. It's like a teenager constantly go. It's like your mom already left the room Okay, you're so edgy Wow, you like shown in knife. Wow. Wow. Sonic youth. Congratulations.

So Sonya is like, if my child wants to throw F bombs or V bombs or G bombs or G bombs or any bombs she should be able to unless her really bombs. Those are bad. Those are really bad. So she goes, so you're saying if a guy doesn't lick your bed,

he's not worth his weight in salt. Like what is Sonya talking in all these, the worth his weight in salt? What was her when she just said earlier in this episode? Like, is he worth the gumption? I don't know, I'm not saying all these old timey terms. You know what, these bitches can talk about their penis and their d's and all that. And I I like I still have elegance and I have class

Okay, oh sorry Eli. I think I may have pooped on the floor. They have for a moment And Sonia's like well if your dick is smaller than your boss, that's a whole different ball game I'm running it down I said lamb! And then that brings us to the end of real housewives of New York City. Yeah, and oddly enough, they didn't say next time on the Real House of New York City. We just hear Ebony say, the party continues on the next episode of the Real House of New York City. And then which then is them like, you're out're out you're out you're out. I am educated

But I thought it was where they said the party continues. I feel like they were trying to sell it on us Like you don't have to sell us it was hilarious. Yeah, funny episode my god. Oh, it's so good Just jam packed with good news bag jam packed Well, guess what I'm sure we'll also be jam packed with something. The Real House was a Beverly Hills, which will be up tomorrow. And then we have, um, let's see, tomorrow's Thursday, and then we'll have Jersey up later in the week after that. So you guys, thank you so much for listening and for watching.

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