Watch What Crappens - RHONY: The Princess and the Peeve

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

Real Housewives of New York (S14E05) is attempting to whip up a feud with Erin and Jessel. Is it working? Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/87702141See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What happens when there's so much that crap is Who cares what What happens Kids, what happens when they're so wild and rapids? You're a crap. It's for when you don't really turn around. Kids, what happens when they're so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today

is the hilarious and wonderful Ronnie Kerr, I'm Hi, Ronnie, how are you? Hi, what's going on? So good to see you happy Monday. Good to be here. Good to hug you. Good to hug you electronically. He heads. Yeah, we are here to talk about real housewives of New York. Very exciting. Before we do that, just a reminder, next Monday, we have our next episode of Crapy Hour, which is gonna be on Instagram Live, it's basically like a revamp of Take a Seat,

but now it's on Instagram Live, and we talk for about an hour about stuff on Bravo, the world of Bravo, you know, any potential music videos, any real housewives have potentially made over the past two weeks, things like that, trailers, lots of things, gossip. So that's on at 5.30 on Pacific time, 8.30 on the East Coast. So you know, adjust your calendar accordingly.

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This week we will be doing a trailer breakdown of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City trailer, which is really amazing. There's also a Southern Charm trailer that has also dropped. So there will be, everything's can get broken down. So definitely join us in the next. Yeah, there will be lots of blood on this. And that's basically it. So let's dive into real housewives in New York, huh? Let's do it. So here we are with real housewives in New York

episode five. I feel like we're further along, don't you? I feel like we should be further along here, but it's episode five. And what do we open? Oh, we open with the friends giving from last week, which is possibly one of the most depressing Real Housewives moment of the year. So thanks for that.

Yeah. And it's Brin's story. It's Brin's really actually really sad story. So she's still talking about how her parents or basically a mess, she was born really poor. Her dad was in jail, then her mom, I think, was in jail. And her grandma adopted her and her siblings, and she was scared she'd get taken away and stuff.

And Si was like, so what pointed things start getting better? Like when did you look out the window and realize that people were looking in at you? And Brinds like, well, it's just, you know, as a first grader, I drank a bottle of Dime a tap because I wanted to sleep forever and everyone's like crying. And I was like, wow, really blazing into this fifth episode, huh? Like this is, this is, I'm still, I still feel very uneasy about the fact that Bravo made Brin's very serious trauma a cliffhanger. Like I still think that is so weird. And then, and we just sort of barge into this next episode on this note. And it's like, it's very moving, it's very emotional.

But it is, it is, I'm just as a strange way to kick off an episode to me. I don't know why last episode didn't end with this emotional story, she gets it all out, but then it does ultimately end like the scene ends in a happy place. I don't know why we didn't end there, but instead, so we were hearing more about this. It's just all, it's heartbreaking. And I don't have a problem with heartbreaking. I'm just surprised that they chose to make it

into like a two part heartbreaking moment. Yeah, it's like, come back and let's see more drama. Yeah. What's the surprise here? It's still traumatic, okay? Yeah. And so that is the big surprise that we come back and it's just still traumatic. okay? So that is the big surprise that we come back and it's just

still traumatic. Thank God they don't up the... Well I guess they do up it with the drinking of the medicine as a little kid or whatever, but I don't know. I don't need you to up it in this instance. I agree with you. So basically it's just sad, it's really upsetting and they're all like what, you know, Jenna's saying, you know, I saw that little girl remembering just not being cared for and She's just such a smart vivacious girl and to see that going on is just heartbreaking and Brin says, you know, and that's why I say if I'm charming enough enough. I'm smart enough maybe they'll let me stay around and I don't ever tell you, of course is like sad.

It's so heart-wrenching. She went through a level of trauma that I don't think anyone in this room went through. So I get why she doesn't wanna talk about it. So when she does, I feel like we should really all like rally and be with her. It's almost like we should be women, supporting women right now.

And then she says that her dad did find her when she was a senior in high school. She gets a call and she had only spoken to him twice in her life, but he was in the hospital dying of cirrhosis of deliver. And then they had a great relationship until he passed away. And that he did apologize for being absent. And there wasn't a day when he didn't look in the mirror and see a monster. And she's like, I forgave him because what else do you do?

You know? And I was like, there are so many things else to do other than forgive. I mean, I don't know. I think it's because I was raised so religiously that that was always the thing. It's like, forgive no matter what. So I was always coming up with alternate things that you could do besides forgive. So if anybody needs advice, come on. Give me a call. Yeah, it's called stand up comedy. If you don't want to forgive someone, you go into stand up. So then Brynn is like, she's, but then she also says another reason why

November and Thanksgiving is hard for her is because her father then ultimately died November 12th. So like the month of November is like pretty rough for her. And so the size like, well, I think you turned that pretty fucking great. And then they're all just like really nice to her. And they're almost like, you had a husband you fucking. That's for sure. So, you know, you got one up on Jessel.

And that one, am I right? Jessel's like, there are so many people that would let that fail them. And you didn't, you didn't like, for instance, if you were a Povit, I mean, parvete already failed, and he hasn't even had this degree of drama, so I can only imagine. I mean, the amount of failure that you feel

on the holidays, imagine feeling that every day of your life, that's parvete. That's parvete. Can we all take a moment for parvete? Just what always does that thing where someone has just Completely Unloaded their guts, okay? She is just emotionally just Let it all out. She's told her a whole dramatic terrible story and then just so goes

Hmm, I think a lot of people think feel bad around the holidays All people have trauma. So then they're like, well thanks for sharing that with us and they do it cheers to built-in family. And Brings like, people ask me how I'm so happy. And I genuinely am. It's like, and I'm not even on anything anymore. Like I'm just happy because I feel like,

I felt so much pain. That's why I'm fucking happy because I know it's both sides. And you know, you choose happy and it's like so much better to be happy. Yeah. So then where are we? I just have so much sadness here.

I'm trying to see where we get past. I'm ready to move past the trauma, okay? It was like a good moment. I need to get out of it for my own sake. So let's see here. Yes. Okay, so then we get to this big fight starter, okay? So Jess is like, oh, Jess is like, okay everyone, just unit trauma aside, so sorry about

the trauma, okay. I'm sorry you weren't picked up. What I hope was picked up was my invitation to my charity event because I'm having a little event for a cocktail party for a designer I'd represent. It's at my place and the proceeds are going to a charity that built schools in India. Everyone's gonna come hopefully purses poor children. Sorry, Bryn, that wasn't directed at you. All right, there are lots of poor children in the world and these were gonna celebrate by selling purses at my apartment. Everyone coming? Everyone can dip in and dip out.

And Si, if you'd like to pose right now and make a comment about being fed at a party that you think will be very funny, now is your chance. God, she literally, every time she gets a chance, they're like, are they gonna feed me? You're hilarious. I know, it's like we get it. We get it.

So she's crazy. So, I might not be able to. I just, I don't, I just might not be able to I just I don't I just might not I don't I don't I just don't I can't I don't know Genesis sister sister Jenna you seem to be stuck what I'm trying to ask is I can you come to my very special Persons for poor people just like um, I think of a conflict. I don't remember what it is I'm pretty sure of a conflict and I don't remember what it is, but I'm pretty sure of a conflict. And Bryn's like, um, what do you have? What do you have? And she says, um, I don't really, um,

what I, I speak in ellipses because I'm like super awkward guys. And um, Bryn's like, you, um, so it's just you have something you'd rather be doing and that it. And it was like, I definitely want to come, but I'm going to be late. So then they move on and they start eating and Aaron's like oh hey guys I have a crush dead. What kind of fish is that? What kind of fucking fish do you think? You're on Bravo Aaron, it's Branzino. What else do they serve on Bravo? Yeah. It's this one season Aaron. I mean Aaron for crying out, it is the classic friends giving dish of brand Z, you know, as we all know, when it's Thanksgiving, we all gather around the table and enjoy brands, you

know, what else? Brand Z, you know, and no stuffing. That is, that is the, that is the classic Thanksgiving thing. So, Brian, you finally had your Thanksgiving meal. That famous side dish of olives, just a plate of olives and some oil. You know what, I think like, Si, you are like,

well, I was gonna say, you're a card, you're your food snacky, commentary thing is revoked anyway, but now it's super revoked, because you are, this is not a friends' giving meal. This is like, this is notoked anyway, but now it's super revoked because you are, this is not a friends giving meal. This is like, not only is it fancy, but it's like brand Zeno. And I'm not opposed to brand Zeno thanksgiving,

but if you're trying to give your friend, like finally you're gonna have a warm thanksgiving. You gotta serve up this stereotypical shit. I'm sorry, I feel very strongly about this. Yeah, I think it's one of those. I'm going to have a party, but I might as well throw that I'm a good person on top of it too and just call it brand's giving because this is,

it was called brand'sino giving, but yeah, I'm going to just change it too. It was actually originally called brand's giving, because I get so many things from brands, but felt like that was a little on the nose so I changed the brand'sino. You know what? I was going to surf turkey, I get so many things from brands, but I felt like that was a little on the nose. So I changed to Brand Zeno. You know what?

I was going to surf Turkey, but I got this Brand Zeno from the Brand Zeno brands. And the mail just came in the mail. I tried wearing it actually, but it's stank. So I just had a chef come over and cook it. Brand Zeno is actually the agency she uses to connect her with brands. Oh, you want me to also use brand Zeno. Yeah. There probably is some organization called Brand Zeno that's very satisfied with itself.

So then size, like, well, everyone loves the food. Everyone's like, oh, this food is to die for. Reminds me of all my childhoods eating brand Zeno at Thanksgiving. And size is like, my main concern was to feed everyone and make sure they didn't talk shit about me on my house, you know, cause I got nice toilet paper, I got food, I'm like, I'm done with this. I am so done with the snacking commentary from size.

I cannot do that anymore. I cannot do that anymore. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, the paper commentary, but was there ever proof that Aaron doesn't have decent toilet paper? Like your toilet paper, what do you call it? Slandering, your toilet paper slandering set. Can you get sued for that? I think you can. If somebody ever came to my home, after the extra pennies I spend on that toilet paper,

because I do care about toilet paper and I get some nice thick, shaman quilted, because I want you to be able to get some traction on your butt hole. Okay, I want your butt hole to be clean at my home. I get it. But if anybody had left my home and called my toilet paper, like bad toilet paper, how dare you?

I don't believe that Aaron has city one ply toilet paper either, and there was never any proof. You're just trying to keep your thing going. You believe it? I actually believe Aaron has bad toilet paper, 100%. Why? She gives off like just bad toilet paper, 100%. Why? She gives off just bad, I mean, she, like, toilet paper vibes. I've not, I, listen, I fully,

I think that Aaron is not a great hostess, okay? But that's just, I just don't like size, her interviews or her kind of, her like, it's like she has this, she is still doing this joke that I think she thinks is hilarious. And we have all moved on. And I'm moved on and I'm just like I'm done I'm done with it. We would know anything about that. I know listen you either do a joke for 10 years or you do it once

So I don't think she's a bad host. I know that she didn't feed anybody. That was terrible. And I've calmed down a little since last week. Because last week I was really like fuck her. But this week I calmed down a little. I think she just doesn't eat very much. And so she's not used to normal amount of food. To her, it's like some fish eggs is good. To her, adding bringles to that mix was giving people a golden chorale buffet spread.

No, I think that she has bad toilet paper because I think that she probably she probably poops like a little pelican or something like that. It's probably like a golden chorale buffet spread. No, I think that she has bad toilet paper because I think that she probably, she probably like poops like a little pelican or something like that. It's probably like a rabbit. It's like like a little tiny thing. Yeah, you know how rabbit- She's like little ball pellets.

Yeah, little balls. It's like a drop out in the bound. She has little pellets and I come out and so she probably doesn't need more than a one ply and then she assumes everyone does need more than a one ply. It's like when you go to a party, I remember my 20s, anytime I went to a party, like some parties you go to,

and there's just so much booze, but like inevitably you go to, there's always like, there's this one girl I knew and should have a party and there'd be like one bottle of vodka, but then like tons of hors d'oeuvres. And I'm like, no one's here for the hors d'oeuvres because we're in our 20s, we want the booze.

And I feel like Aaron was that person only had one bottle of vodka and tons of hors d'oeuvres And now that we're in our hors d'oeuvres phase, she doesn't have any hors d'oeuvres. Yeah She's always in the wrong party phase So I'm gonna workshop this theory. I don't feel like it really like I don't really feel like it was my best work But I do feel like there was something in there that was very true to Aaron. No, I totally get what you're saying. I just, you're saying she's basically you're giving

like a history of her being a bad host, even though we don't know her in her 20s. It's like guessing her history. I wouldn't doubt it, you know? I bet she's like, well, I grew up at three link concentrers, so literally nobody had vodka, so you're lucky you got one bottle, you know? It's because like when Aaron was in her 20s,

she was excited about the hors d'oeuvres that her party and she didn't really care about the vodka that much. So she assumed everyone felt that way. And it's like, no, you have to have booze at your party. Theoretical 20-something Aaron. So yeah, so it's more toilet paper slander, but then Aaron doesn't make it any better because

she's also refusing to let go of her one thing that she can't let go of right and learning. Like I get it's first season house wise, this is practice time, but she makes her thing, but then Aaron's like, oh, you're obsessed with toilet paper. Well, at least it's better than being cackling hags in the haptons, which doesn't, a, doesn't even make sense like to move on. and cackling hags in the hamptons, which doesn't even make sense to move on. To move on to. It's like a really bad transition. But also, who cares?

Cackling hags is really not that bad of a thing to say. And Jenna just looks down. She's like, I'm awkward, so she looks down. And Aaron's like, that was really mean. And just like, give us a joke. Oh, really? You think that's funny? Yes, do you think it's funny?

It's just, well, did you tell her that you called her that? Do you know that we're cackling hags? I have me and you. We're like cackling hags. She called us cackling hags. Oh my god. Okay, your account let anything fucking go. Hags shut up, dude. This lady is so obnoxious. Let it go. It's a boring storyline. Nobody cares. Drop it. She is trying to whip up some outrage. She is trying to brew up a feud. And Jessel of course goes to the classic thing that English expats you, which is saying,

but in England, it's a funny thing. You know, haven't you ever heard RIP Queen Elizabeth say to Princess Diana, look at that cackling head, hag, also RIP, everyone knows, everyone knows, classic British slang, cackling egg. We say bollocks, bugger, shag, you know, Camilla was coming down the coronation aisle and the king turned back and said, Twet, you know, it's just how we are cackling hags is like saying, hello, or cheerio, but errands like a cat. She's waiting to pounce on anything I say again, our dish, can we please hold by distance for some gaze in the confessionals?

I know. She's like a cat waiting to pounce. Yeah, we really need to get this gay confessional strike to end because these women need a lot of work, okay? So the Cross-Lionian means to get together. We do. What do we decide Coxhood for again? Council of...

Hold on, I have a question. Costic. Because it's very important if it actually forms. We need to be able to take credit. Confessional oratory collective. And then if you want to use a K at the end, we can say Queens with a K. Okay. There's a lot of division within the COT community

about how the acronym should really be. So, Uba is the ram, it's like, um, I do not use cock. We're like, Lisa, Rana, come on, you're just saying that because you're bitter. Okay. So, Uba is like, I said, what is cackling hags? I'm like, oh gosh. I'm honestly, I'm getting a little over Uba. Like, I want more from her.

I feel like, I feel like she's so beautiful and we keep on saying, but she's so beautiful. But a certain point, I think we have to admit, she's maybe not offering the best stuff here. I mean, this whole thing, like, what does a cuckling on her wild and wacky? So Jess is like, she's like, she's Jess all I should say is like,

it's what we're doing right now, it's loud, it's like you know, it's like when you're laughing, you're laughing but loud, but in British way, you're being British and sophisticated, you're not being dumb American, raised in three Lincoln Pock, you know what I'm saying? And Aaron's like, well, I don't like that, and I don't think it's nice.

Jenna says, oh, I think it's been an environment to say that someone's a cackling hag. I mean, I don't think it's mean. Jenna says, oh, I think it's an environment to say that someone's a cackling hag. I mean, I don't think it's mean. Yeah, because you were the first one to say cackling. And also, you're, Jessel, you know Jessel loves this lady because she's not throwing her under the bus and saying, wait a minute, she's the one who said cackling. You know?

Yeah, no, Jessel will never throw Jenna under the bus or at least not anytime soon. So, Jessel's like, Jenna, you're cackling old hag. I say that out of the Jenna under the bus, or at least not anytime soon. So, Jess is like, Jenna, you're a cackling old hag. I say that out of the endearment. And so, Si goes, oh, you just said old. You added old, a cackling, fun, cackling hag. No, in British, old meets young.

So then, Aaron's like, oh, so now we're cackling old hags. Is that what it is? Oh, God, Aaron. Aaron is like just so blatant in her attempts to whip up some sort of frenzy. So she's just so like Frederick Eclan trained. I feel like ever since I found out she's a Frederick Eclan plant, I can't with her.

I just feel like, you know, she purposely made friends with Frederick to get this Bravo connection. And now she's like, I'm a real housewife, so I'm gonna be mad about cackling hags for five weeks and never let it go and bring it up every chance I get. And Fredrick's at home,

and I'm like, you go girl. You go. And also watching his own music video. So Aaron's like, what was it like, big gay is great. Commissions, here comes one right now. So, Erin is like, uh, Jessel says, whatever the hell she wants,

and she doesn't think of the repercussions or how people are going to, or like, how people are going to take it. Like, so when she mentioned as a passing joke, like, oh, those cackling-old-hat, those cackling-hs were laughing at me. Like, like, that's, I'm sorry, this is not an explosive thing to say. She's like, like, what if I just called you a stupid bitch?

And then I was just like, well, what? So what? I called you a stupid bitch, no big deal. I mean, that's what we say in New York. Yeah, it is what you say in New York. As someone who lived there for 10 years, how is called a stupid bitch all the time? I mean, by people I didn't even know, which is random people on the street.

We'll call you a stupid bitch in New York City. What are you getting so defensive about? And how are you the one talking about how you're the real New Yorker? And you're the only, why the way I hate that too, people who are like, yes, I'm the only real one here. I'm the only real New Yorker here. Well, congratulations on never leaving your hometown. Like to some of us, that seems kind of like ridiculous. And second of all, if you're the real New

Yorker, what are you so defensive about? People call you names all the time in the streets. Yeah. And like, let's please bookmark this moment for the inevitable scene when Aaron is like, oh, shut up, bitch. And it's like, you call me a bitch? And then she says, no, it's like bitch. It's like what you say, it's supposed to be like nice. I guarantee she'll have that scene at some point in her life. And now she's, I hope Bravo rolls this moment where she says, oh my God, that's like if I said,

you're a stupid bitch. And that's what we say in New York. I guarantee that's gonna happen. So, my main note on Aaron is just written right here in black and white. She's exhausting. Okay. So then, Brynn's like, Justall, here's the thing. Just say, I said it. She did just say she said it. Now we've got you too.

This is Brynn's thing. Brynn's thing is like, it'd be like one thing if they were like, I did it, you know, but like, no, not like that. Meanwhile, this is the girl who lied about going to catch or about going to catch or not going to catch. And now she wants accountability from everyone. Exactly. She's going to Lisa Rinnemold, like just own it. She did just own it.

You guys are just saying pre-count lines. It's so annoying. And so Justin was like, but I did just say I said it. And we're like, but don't we need to redefine it post-mortem. She's not redefining it. She called you cackling hags. And she meant it in a fun way because you were acting like cackling hacks by the way she was saying this after you guys were giving her

shit about her sex life after having twins so fuck all of you guys like how are you make it just so can be the villain but how are you guys gonna make it you guys were the assholes I just're just infuriating me. I'm getting mad at you. Listen to me. I'm getting worked up. I feel like Jessel is the biggest asshole, but like Aaron and Bryn and Psy have made me take up for her.

Because I actually do think, I mean, Jessel was a brat with the lingerie, but I actually think that the incest and harping from Aaron, Bryn and Psy, especially from Psy about Jal and her sex life, I just feel like they're just not really reading between the lines, and they're, I just think that they're,

they think that they're being really, like, so sex in the city in that moment, but they're just being obnoxious. And really, in those moments, they are kind of being more of the hags. The hags, I don't just like invasive hags, I guess you could say. So Brynn's like, I can't see if it's a.

So, Bryns like, I said invasive hags, I revised to do intrusive hags. If we are not label anyone as hags. I mean, is there a huge difference? I mean, it's just big decks. Let's just stick with the big dicks. So, um, Jess was like, well, what I said can be received in different ways. And she's kind of smiling, like, are these people fucking kidding me? Like, I'm the one who blows everything out of proportion. Because I thought Jessal was going to be that person, who everything that they

said, she'd be, like, really, what that was offensive to me. Like, she seems like she's going to be that singer, singer interact with Povett. But nope, it's everybody else. So she's kind of laughing about it. Like wow, I'm in a group where I'm not the drama queen. And Jessal's like, no, I did say it. And that's just how my shit is, dude. My guess, Jessal.

She's like, I'm the real one here. And so bring us, oh yeah, well you're shit. Definitely, spanks. Well, I was talking to my very dear best friend, Jenna, Jenna Lyons, fashion icon. And I said, you guys, I felt like I was getting ambushed. And you guys would like a bunch of cackling, old, geriatric eggs.

And parents are like, The things are slaps, which I love. And parents, like, I felt you were annoyed that whole weekend and like, you didn't have a good time. And like, sometimes I'd look at you and you looked miserable, like you were like, I felt you were annoyed that whole weekend and like you didn't have a good time and like sometimes I'd look at you and you looked miserable, like you were like, not happy. And then we go to three weeks ago, they're in the car and Justin's like,

I need to get out. And Aaron's like, just like this. No, I need to get home and go to my kids and be someplace that has heating. I need to get out of here. But that's what a bad hostess you are. This woman finally got to get away from her husband who she wants to burn alive. Her two twins who won't stop screaming in her face. Her mother who won't stop leaving spots on coffee tables. Okay, she finally

gets away from all of that. And you are so shitty that all you have is caviar and a freezing cold room. She actually wants to escape you to get back to the hellscape she ran from the first place. That's what a shitty host you are. So if anyone should be a apologizing here, it's you, Aaron. It's you. It really is. And you know, the Aaron does that thing.

I don't know what the term is for it, but I had a friend who once called it a lot, like quote unquote alliance building, like a way that someone tries to bond or connect with you is that they try to tell you about you. You know these people? So in this instance, you have Jessel who's like, I need to get out of here and Aaron goes, Jessel's miserable.

She's like, trying to be like, I know what you're thinking. I'm gonna say it. And like, if you ever met someone who's like that, you talked to them and was like, You're not like this. You don't do this. You don't do this. There's some people you're having a conversation that go, oh, I know you.

You're someone who doesn't like when people wear boots. I don't know. You're like, no, I never said that whatsoever. Like someone who like gets off on like trying to figure you out, you know? Yeah, so for claims to everybody else, also to proclaim to everybody else that they figure do out.

So, no one else can have their own opinion of you. Yeah, and I think it's okay to try to figure people out. I mean, I literally just had an entire theory about how Aaron and her 20s had parties where she did not serve enough booze but too many hors d'oeuvres. Okay, I think that's okay, but I hate when people try to do it to your face,

like, aha, I got you. And I feel like Aaron does that and she does it all the time and she does it to jessil and She's like so jessil's like well I just wanted to see my kids you guys like listen It's the first the second time I've ever been away from my kids and she's then why didn't you tell us? I mean how am I supposed to know that you miss your kids like I mean how am I supposed to know that I can't imagine Why she wouldn't want to open up to you guys after you just mocked her for two days straight about being low libido after having twins.

You fucking weirdos. Like, that's so weird you wouldn't open up and be sensitive around us, Jessal. I know. So Brynn's like, um, but you kept saying to us, like, I have to see my kids. Like, I have to get the fuck out of here. And like, you were like so irritated. And then then like I texted you that night and you said hi honey are you okay and you said mmm good I'm going out like so like you talked all day about you want to go back to the kids but then you went out at night and

just like you know and that's that kind of person that didn't know you're this kind of person so I'm gonna do it you don't do that now brands that kind of person who's like, oh, remember how I checked on you because I could tell you weren't very happy, so I called and checked on you to make sure you're okay. Look at what a good person I am, right? Now, let me use that against you in front of everybody.

Like, yeah, that's his reconnaissance. You're a dick. You're a dick too, ma'am. Just as I put that was the day after, and Brian's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was just, oh, okay, well, it was the day of, I mean, it was a work thing. That's what it was, because I had to go to a work dinner that night at Jamba Juice. I was meeting Michael calls at Jamba Juice to discuss fashion for Bangladesh. That's what it was. Okay, that's clearly

what happened. We're coming up with plans to publicize wearing carrot juice on your head. And so I had to meet with my girlfriend. Why can't we all look like Grace Coddington, right? Carrot juice on the head. We're going to start reusing orange peels as high-heeled shoes. And I had to talk to Michael Kool's about it. Also, missing your kids doesn't mean you have to go sit in and like watch fucking door the export with them all night. Missing your kids means you walk into your house, go, oh my god, those ladies were exhausted.

What cackling hangs? Hello children, still have you good? Go with Nana, now mommy's going out. The end. Like what does she need to do? They're fucking babies, okay? She probably honestly had to take a massive dump and just didn't want to do it at Aaron's house.

Didn't trust the toilet paper cinch. So more evidence on the toilet paper pile. It all comes together. So then she goes, yeah, I had to go to a work thing. So Aaron goes, oh, you're working now? She says, of course I am. Well, I didn't know that you were currently working. So I guess just add that to the laundry list of things that you don't tell us about. And she's like, yeah, I mean, mom has got to bring home the money. Just, well, I just, I didn't know that. So, okay, let's all fucking everything that's going on with you. Put it down so we can all bring it to fucking errands. So she's not calling us online while we're trying

to eat our fucking bony-ass Brasino. By the way, Bramsino, the Boney is mission of the world. Why does everybody serve this? I can't stand that. It's always Boney, and I always like, every time I get it, I always have this idea that maybe this time it won't be Boney. I don't know why.

I feel like it's always Boney. And it's like a Nilean. I'm not down with it. But Aaron, by the way, I love when self-involved people then pull the whole thing and like, well, I didn't know. It's like, well, ask a question. Yeah, because you were too busy shaming her about her sex life.

Maybe ask her something, Aaron, fine. How about like, with two truths in a lie? Also, it could be something like, Jessel is working, Jessel's not working. I don't know, like, just find out things. So Jessel's like, soessel is working. Jessel is not working. I don't know, like just find out things. So Jessel is like so condescending. I've been a fashion publicist for almost 20 years. I've worked my whole life. I'm really not sure why she's so confused. Sarah tells us, uh, Jessel told me she was taking a break from work after she had the twins

and she never told me she started again. I'm not a mind reader. Like, she didn't have the twins a week ago. The twins are a year old. Like you know that enough time has gone by that you're shocked that they haven't had sex. Isn't that like enough time that you might ask at one point, like, hey, are you thinking about getting back into work or you're gonna be staying home with the kids for a few years?

Like, it's just totally self-involved. Yep, and so, Brim's like, um, so I have a question, Jeff all, when was the last time you came? Okay, I'm officially exhausted with all of you. I know. We're going back to that well again. Jesus. Jessica's came where? To make a cause. Just, um, I rest my kings.

I'm like, do you? Jessica's came where to make a cause. She's, I rest my kins. I'm like, do you? So she's like, guys, we've talked about this. And so I was like, well, did anything change? Did you talk about it with your husband? She was, I told you about it. And Aaron's like, I thought you were gonna go home and fuck him right away.

She's like, no, I didn't. And actually, I talked to my friends and they said it's not abnormal what I'm going through. And so I was like, I just spread my legs, like even with my kids there, cause they sleep on a different floor. Good for you, but also gross.

Like, I don't like any of this. If you don't want a fight, you shouldn't have to fight. Just because your husband wants to and just spread your legs and lay there and just let them do whatever they, this is all disturbing me. I don't like it. Bring, Bryn's like,

if you start with a blowjob, it tends to go well after. I don't know you had a job. You didn't tell me about a job. You didn't tell me it was a blowjob. Also, she said that she still gives blowjobs. So who's not listening now? Okay. So then, Bryn,

they were defending St.Jessle so hard so hard like just because they're going so hard on every Stupid storyline that's not even a stir trying to fight so hard over the dumbest things and it's pissing me off and now it's led to us talking for an hour about Their stupid fights which it's infuriating. It's like now you've led me to talk about this, you know and brim's like, you know What's coming back, hand jobs. Hand jobs never left, Brind. And the fuck? What the fuck in kind of city is this? And if you're gonna get a handy anywhere, it's in New York.

Okay, New York is like the best hand is I ever got in my life. Do you know how many germs are in that city? There's people everywhere get a handy. Okay, I don't trust anybody's goddamn mouse or so many hot dog stands on the street So many places people are eating their germs. I would we'd all rather a hand job, brim I don't know when did you move to New York City? Also, where was this where was this announced was this in the back and like the back page of L magazine

Here's what's in for spring hand jobs So Saagas hand job should die it goes, can I tell you something? Anything that doesn't job in it? I don't know. Oh, wacky, wacky, wacky. Yeah, because it doesn't know what a hand job is either. Because that's Uber. What is hand job?

Oh, okay. So, you don't know what a hand job is. I'm not believing you anymore, ma'am, okay? You've overplayed. You've overplayed your hand officially. Job. So then, we go to Jessel's apartment and there's like vicious terrible screaming children running around like banshees and Jessel's like, excuse me, you're not allowed to climb onto tables, you're not your mother. Wild and wacky, I am Jessel to Hank.

So she's just trying to do family pictures for Christmas and for the first time. Because our kids are satanic. I just want one picture, please. And then, yeah, just like we just need one good shot. And Paw-Ve goes, you know, this is actually going a lot better than I thought. Because, yes, it's actually going way better.

And if you smile, people will believe it. We love our children. Uh. So then, Bren is shopping for food with a guy in a beret. And she's like, so wait a minute. Are you telling me that this bag is made from salmon? So what she said, it's a salmon skin. I was good at views. salmon skin. I was confused.

I thought maybe she meant the inside was like a salmon pink, but maybe it was salmon. I don't know, whatever it was, I said, I'm moving a skin. I said, I can't even, I'm not even going to put this energy into what's going on with the strange little cone shaped bag. I know I'm supposed to be entertained by it. I can't. I can't and I'm moving forward. No, and now I need to know.

Salmon skin purse. There are real things. That's something. Salmon leather. Oh, good. I was afraid that it wasn't enough that salmon was being fished unsustainably. I'm glad that now that someone finally decided

to incorporate it in the bag. Salmon bags. Well, yeah, at least they're using all of the fish. Well, you know, you can use salmon skin. And salmon skin's been used in other ways. Sushi. Okay, you know what? I see myself already trying to like make a thing

about this. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, every single like minor moment in this show needs to turn into some outrage diatribe. So, it didn't, I'm not trying to trap you into anything, but I needed to know. I'm not trying to trap you. I'm not trying to trap you, it didn't, I'm not trying to trap you into anything. I'm not trying to trap you. I'm not trying to trap you. I'm not trying to do.

I'm not trying to do. For Thanksgiving, I think after that, it's been downhill for me. So, now we go. We have, you know, one plate toilet paper and being like forest, talk forest, and defucking your husband. It's like a nap. And I'll say those children. So then, Uba's eating a hot dog. She's like at some, she's at like a deli or something

and she's eating a hot dog and she's doing wacky, Ubis stuff. She's like, this hot dog is so good. No, and there's like a guy there and she's like, yeah. And she's like, how does the pickle become sour? I don't even know what a pickle is. And he's like, you brine it with garlic? She's like, oh yes. And with garlic. Oh, yes. And see

how it switches your favorite pickle. And he goes the same one that you're eating. And he says, oh, my God, have you ever tried ginger ale with this pickle? That's what I do. I have champagne glass, but I pretend is champagne, but it's only ginger ale in it. And he's like, wow, really? It's like the poor guy who's working behind the counter. Whova just comes in every day. Like, oh my God, how did you do this to this pickle? This place is so wild and crazy.

Hold on, get in a picture with me for the yard because I'm gonna put wild and crazy mother truckers in this pickle place. Hey Uva, also congratulations on being a seven year old gay boy because Ginger Real in a champagne glass and that is not something new to you. Okay.

I mean, when you're a kid, if you ever got a hold on those like plastic champagne foods are the ones that were like the plastic hoops, did you not fill those with ginger ale and act like a fancy person? I do it as an adult sometimes just to get people to get off my ass because if I don't have a fucking full martini in my hand, people are like Ronnie, have you finally realized you're an alcohol like, do you need help? Do you need support? They're like hugging me, like taking me outside to have private talks, asking me how I'm doing. So I just have to pretend I'm drinking it all times, otherwise people think my world is ending. Yeah, I'm like, uh, Uba, you should go to really any school

play across the United States and see a sixth grader with Ginger ale and their glass pretend to be an adult. She's like, you know what I like to do sometimes after I eat these pickles Like it's crazy. I like to go outside and stand there and have a cigarette, but I don't smoke So I just get a stick piece of candy and like a pretend I'm smoking it so crazy Sometimes I like to pretend I'm much older than I am and I put baking soda in my hair and I looked like old lady. Swaki. I'm just, I'll put in all the tricks in the school place.

So then we go to size and she's going through boxes from her assistants. Wow, so she really does get sent nice stuff because I was like, oh my God, I can't wait to see her open her like, I don't know, yes, her yes-o ice cream bars or whatever she's getting in there, but she's getting like, versus Fendi and Versace, and shit, I mean,

yeah. It's pretty good. Yeah, she's, she's getting, I mean, she gets nice stuff, and she talks about how, like, she gets all these gifts, and you know, she talks about how she majors in biology and school,

but she always wants, and she she was gonna be a pediatrician, but she always loved fashion. So she got an internship with Alberta Ferretti, and then that kind of took her down that path. And she started to code, and she built her own website. It sounds like in the early 2010s, and she was writing about fashion and her daughter, and it went viral, because I guess BuzzFeed

didn't article about her and that kind of like threw her into the world of influencing more or less. Yes, and she's like, in that time I got to where I am. So we see where she gets her famous boxing robes. It says, sigh. And it's from Versace. He sent her her own, well not him, but they sent her her own boxing robe, this is a sigh. And she's like, bitches, I am extract, excuse me.

Do you know my name? And she's like, yeah, you know, people think that this is just like some lady taking like pictures, but you know what? I have a lawyer, I have a manager, I have an attorney. So I got something from Bobby Brown Complexion. It's instructions on me how to do Bobby Brown stuff. So it's a big deal, you know?

Yeah, I mean, I was actually, I mean, I actually was a little surprised. I didn't realize that, I mean, I'm not surprised that someone has an accountant. You know, when she's like, I have a lawyer I have an accountant. I was like, okay, well, that's not like a big deal. But she has a brand manager and she has like,

she has people on payroll, which I was, I was actually pretty surprised. I was like, I'm learning something from Si. But yeah, she talks about being an influencer and I was immediately bored again. So I'm like, I can't, I can't help it. Sorry. I mean, I get everything.

Like it's a job and I get the world we live in now that that's a job and everything. And congrats. Congrats on your job. Your job boards a fuck out of me. So next, like to me, you're like a really pretty Costco sample person. But on the internet, you know what I mean?

I mean, look, I'm not opposed to people doing influencing and doing things like that, but I am opposed to people talking about it as if it's interesting. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm just bored with it. Come here, shoes. Here comes one right now. So then we go to Greka and Jessel, oh God.

Okay, so then we get a Jessel and Aaron. One of the first, let's go to lunch and have a confrontation. Yeah, of Real Housewives of New York. The new. Someone on Twitter was complaining that the show is just happening in people's houses, and I was like, oh my God, that's so true.

They're rarely in public. And so finally, we've had one scene in public where they went to a restaurant in the Hamptons and Uber took the coconut milk. And then everything else has been in living rooms. So now we're finally going, like, taking a dipting a toe into the world of New York City, because everyone's like, this is the real New York,

and yet New York is oddly not present in any of this show. So now we are taking a dip into New York City. Jassel and Aaron are meeting up in Tribeca. This is important to know that they're in Tribeca because it becomes the next petty fight. And Aaron's like, so thanks for coming to downtown. I'm sorry.

I have to start like even before that, because Jassel could just cracks me up like literally everything she does. Okay, so she comes into this place, it's empty, because it's in Tribeca. And whatever we say, going forward in the scene, Tribeca is empty, his fuck and we all know it, okay? I stay there sometimes when we go to New York, and that's why I stay in there, because it's empty and everything closes. Okay, I love that about Tribeca.

So anyway, she goes in there and just is like a difficult, opt-on kind of lady. She goes in there and she's like, all do you an Americano? Do you have oatmeal here? Has oatmeal made its way to Tribeca? Yes, it sounds like you're too young. Because you know the streets don't just go straight up and down here. We're in Tribeca where everything's very confusing. Do you have internet here? Because if you do, then you could research it. You've heard of oat milk, have you?

All right, bring some of that over. So Aaron comes in, he's like, thanks for coming downtown. I know, Juss is like, well, I don't usually look this done up, but I have an event because her face, she has like anchor lady makeup on. You know, and Aaron's like, uh, Jussle and I are like not in a place where we're like,

going to coffee, like clearly she wants to talk to me about something, like maybe Jussle realizes she was annoying, AF, cause you can say that, AF, yeah. And the Hamptons, and she's coming to me to say, I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass at your house. It's a really, how about where's your sorry for no heat in your rooms, Graham? So Jess is like, are you coming to my event on Thursday?

Very excited about it. And they're like, yeah, I guess that'll be fun. And she's like, is it being, oh, Aaron goes, is it being catered? Like what? And she goes, so have you been to this place? It's my local spot, she goes, oh yes, well a couple of my friends are talking about moving

to Tribeca, this neighborhood is really up and coming. Look at that, I just looked outside, there were actually lines in the middle of the road now where people will know which side to be on. Oh, not. Very good, well done. Not even one abyss. They've paved them all over. Wonderful. They've done great works here with these roads. So Jester's like, I mean, Aaron's like, it's there. Is it there though? I mean, I feel like it's like it needs the West's ronde.

It needs, I don't know, like, you know what I could really use? Like a film festival, or like a celebrity that a chap had seen the film festivals. Is it really that? I just feel like it's less potential more than a film. I mean, it's got potential, yeah, it's got potential. And there it's like, um, potential. It's like the most, like famous zip code in New York. I mean, I'm not saying that to Rick.

I just, it's like, it's already there. Okay, it's not up and coming. It's up and came, it came. Okay. But it has tried in its name, and I feel like you don't have to try once you've arrived. Am I right? I just need this really awkward girl

in high school named Becca. We'd always just say, oh, try Becca, try. She's never could, really. That is get catch on with British humor. She's sort of like you in that way. So Aaron's like, I am at a loss for words. As a real estate person, this is the most ridiculous comment I've ever heard in my life.

As a New Yorker, that just doesn't go. Like what this tells me is you know absolutely nothing about New York City, okay? And you just got here yesterday. I'm like, yeah, she just got here. She literally said she just moved to New York recently. Right? Or am I eating that?

I don't know how, I don't think she got to New York recently. But I guess she's been there for 20 years, never mind. She's been there a lot. Yeah, I don't remember that. I remember her being there a long time because she knows everybody in New York would find out later. But to me, it says that she does know New York City because she knows the way that she can get under your skin

is by shading your neighborhood. And a New Yorker knows how to do that. Well also we see every time people are forced to go downtown on real hospitalized in New York, they're always grossed out. They're like, ew, who comes down here? People who, that is very New York to be very neighborhood braggie. People in Tribeca

I think they're the only cool fucking neighborhood who has cobblestone streets and People could confused because the streets don't run the same way and people in Soho are the same and then people in the upper East side never leave the upper East side and people on the upper West side think they're the only artists that matter in the fucking city, you know Sorry faces that matter in the fucking city, you know. Sorry. Faces. Sorry. It's just very New York need to be like, fuck Tribeca, like nothing happens here. All the restaurants close at seven

and the ones that don't suck. Okay. We were, we recently went to Tribeca and we had dinner in Tribeca. And guess what? We were at a hotel lobby and we got shushed. And let me tell you something, we wouldn't have gotten shushed in a more active and fun neighborhood.

I'm actually now that you say that, I remember we drove up to that restaurant. It was bustling. It was a great restaurant, by the way. I think also because they let us order anything off the menu. It was really such a good restaurant. It was good. And it was bustling. And I remember we came up to that and I was like,

wow, Tribeca's really caught on. Because for years, you go to Tribeca and literally nobody is there. We're like, oh, it's really up and coming in here. And we saw Justin Bieber. And we're like, look, Justin Bieber, it's up and coming. Look at this, Haley. But then guess what?

Then we got shushed at night. So is it really up and coming. Look at this, Haley. But then guess what, then we got shushed at night. So is it really up and coming? It's not been touching. Yeah. Okay, so Jess is like, okay, so I just wanted to grab a coffee. Yeah, I didn't really understand what this was about. So, just, well, you know how I walked in and I didn't know about your grandmother, first of all,

dying, you know, and I just didn't didn't know about your grandmother first of all dying, you know? And I just didn't feel like you were your normal warm self and I just wanted to make sure everything was good. And then we see the clip of her coming up at friends going and going. Oh, your grandmother died. Oh, oh, hello, hi, darling. With that some fortune about your grandmother. I love Jassel's balls to say, you know, I didn't know your grandmother had died.

I just, you know, you weren't your normal warm self. I'm like, yeah, because her grandmother died. So Aaron's like, no, everything was fine. Like to be honest with you, I just feel like we're very different people. Like I just don't really understand the way you sometimes are and it makes, that makes almost makes me uncomfortable. And Aaron, she's like, you're like smiling and happy, and then you're not.

You seem like you're like being positive, but then you're actually upset about something, like at the hamptons, like, oh, so she's not allowed to have different emotional reactions to things, is that the issue? So this is what I think. Like, you're used to being treated as a certain way, and maybe I wasn't catering to you

the way that you're used to being catered to Just oh, so you'll say I'm a princess. Just well, I mean maybe a little bit. Is that bad? Oh, you don't mean it bad So then why are you bringing it up? As suggest goes well the princess that doesn't look apparently because I've had this conversation before and her and it's like Well, you told me you weren't working right now. And that was like 18 months ago that you told me. So like that, of course, is gonna stay absolutely true for the rest of your life, right?

So I didn't tell you that. Okay, well, I don't remember having that conversation that. Okay, well, let me tell you that. So I don't have to repeat this. I launched my own consultancy. I'm taking clients, I'm working. I embrace women in the workplace. Aaron's like, um, excuse me Don't so I don't I don't embrace women out. Yeah, I would watch that. I would watch that if I were you

This is like an inference off. It's like oh, so I'm a princess now. Oh, so I don't embrace women Oh, so I don't like to wear shoes. Oh, so I have a I have a I have a pineapple as I had Does that what you're saying? It's like they're each like inferring the most random things out of stuff But you just said I didn't work. Oh well, Mazel toffers starting your business. Oh really am I getting married in a temple now? Is that what happening now am I oh? So now I'm I'm Mormon. I'm got to go to the temple in Salt Lake City. Oh, so my sodium is too high as that's what you're saying salt Lake City like city. Oh, so my sodium is too high. That's what you're saying salt Lake city. So I did not know you launched your consultancy, but don't even try to say I don't build women up because that's not okay. And just like, well, we need to support each other and I just didn't feel

that support from you. And she's like, this is why I have trouble with salt. Like, I don't even know she was working again because she didn't tell me. And now I don't support women, which is incredibly insulting. I was like, how was that more insulting than you sitting down and telling someone, I just don't think we're the same kind of people. Like, I just don't even understand what you are. Like, what are you?

Like, we're just two different. Like, I can't even be friends with you. Like, you're just like sitting down and cutting right to somebody's personality and being like, no, I don't get you. Like, I just don't like you. Period. And that's okay.

But somebody saying, you know, you didn't remember that I told you I was working. Is the most offensive thing you've ever heard. I can't. So Aaron's like, I didn't know you started back up again. I said it a few times. And you just said that you feel like I'm being used to get it being catered to in the time of princess Well, I'm sorry you're getting upset. I must have really triggered you and Just like well, I've just never been called a princess before and while I do appreciate that highest station in life as a princess

I've never one had had anyone ever say like oh you seem like so like you're someone who needs to be catered to Bullshit no one is ever called you a princess. I know that's a damn lie. Now I know I've been yelling at Aaron this whole time, but if you honestly think this is the first time that anyone's ever told you you're an asshole, LOL. That's funny. So Jussles is like, I'm an immigrant.

I was like, well, you're still a princess. Like, oh, the immigrant. I can be princesses too, sorry. But I'm an immigrant in this country. I came here, I had nothing but some no good husband, and I worked my way to Jen and Lion's best friendship. So being catered to, no, that's extremely condescending, although I do get a free Oreo subscription box every month

that I put in my jaw, yes. Aaron's like, yeah, I just feel like we're not really the same. And just, we're not on the same page, I get it. I'm like, no, she's not saying you're not on the same page. This is the second time she said, you're not the same. Like, you're in different leagues, okay?

You're talking to Aaron now. Aaron's really pissing me off, can you tell? Well, she's just not interesting enough to be this, like, this, fighty, you tell? Well, she's just not interesting enough to be this, like, this fighty, you know, like if you're going to start fighting. Yeah, if you're going to be an asshole, be an interesting asshole, but she just sort of like a very boring asshole. She's like, you can't sit at our table, but your table sucks. Like nobody wants to sit at your table. You know what I mean? Like, why are you acting like the gatekeeper of the table? Yeah Jussles, like, yeah, I came here and I had nothing and I worked my way to a round couch.

So how about that? And Aaron's like, yeah, we're not the same and Jussle goes, not in the same page. Well, yeah, okay, well, I guess I don't have time for fake friends. So, I guess cheers to that. Are you sure this is oat milk? This is a soyish to me.

So Aaron's like, well, I really have to get back to work, which I definitely do. And Jessel's like, same. I have to take off my makeup from my earlier work experience today to get ready for later work experiences this evening because I look. So Aaron's like, oh, so are you going to work? I'm joking. I'm totally joking. I see.

I'm just like, Jessel joking. See, I'm just laughing. Just like, Ha ha ha. She does that thing where she laughs really faithfully and then looks at her phone and refuses to look at your face. I love that. When people are like, Ha ha ha, I'm done with you. I'm now swiping through InstaSpaab darling.

So then, Justa tells us she's really disappointed and she's like, I thought we would have a laugh over coffee, a cackel if you will, but gosh, we took five steps backwards instead of forwards. And so she leaves awkwardly and just stays behind.

She's like, it stays behind. And Aaron stays behind and goes, so fucking weird, we're a lunatic. Oh God, the way she just like, walked out the restaurant, just a pure lunatic, that was. The way she said, goodbye and then laughed, God, we are so not the same. So now we go over to Jenna's apartment

and her friend Heather comes by and Heather's like, hi, did you order a shipper? And Jenna's like, oh, so, yeah, you ever see those things on Instagram or it's like, tell my close, well, I need to do that again. Long and short of it is that Jenna has a lot of clothes and she wants to sell some of them and she talks about how people give her shit for having so many clothes.

But she's like, but photographers, no one asks photographers why they have an archive of their photos and she's like, this is what I did and I'm rich enough to have space for all these clothes. So why don't I get to have all my clothes? You fuckers? Well, I loved that this scene starts off with this new weird tricksie monical, like for the New York of the New Age. The song goes like this. I wanna see the sun come up up. I wanna make it through, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho It's through the fuck kind of music is this Was it when you playing suicide music or you playing someone on their deathbed music to go into Jenna lion's cleaning out of her closet scene What the hell is in charge over there? I want to see the sun come up. I want to make it through I have you been human traffic. Are you locked in a basement? How can I help you? Yeah, there's a lot of tonal issues with this show, if you ask me.

So, uh, yeah, and by the way, though, I have to applaud Heather, new friend, Heather, uh, because she said, no, what I want to do. I want to look like Glenn Close in fatal attraction. I think that's a lot of time to come back too. I wrote that too. She really does. She looks like in boy, She's in full on boiling mode. And so they have to go downstairs to her storage

and bring stuff up. And this is kind of, I'm not making a direct correlation here, but Jenna sometimes does give that she's gonna have some future Sonia Morgan, I think, in her. Like, I think her delusion is gonna grow over the years, because she's got a lot of that, like, okay, we have to clean out my closet. So this is what I wore when I met the Obama's. I'm like, okay, well, I know now that you've met the Obama's, okay. Like, she's starting to get a lot of that. Like, we just need to clean out my closet,

so I can talk about how I met Beyonce in this dress. And I'm seeing some future sunymorgan creeping into you. So I think there's a difference. I know what you're saying. I think there's a difference because what I love about it is that is that Jenna met all these important people because of her skill and because of what she contributed to society and fashion and whatever. As opposed to a socialite who had a peak and had money and then it was gone. And by the way, I don't disapprove of being a socialite. I think it's great. What a life to live. You just get to do all that stuff.

But I think that like Jenna, her like talents and her career brought her to these heights. And I think that what's funny to me is that how, it's very name droppy, but it also just shows how she really is in like a whole different sphere than the rest of her, of her cast members. Like we still don't even know what Brin does. Like we literally have no idea what Brin's job is.

If I didn't go onto like the Bravo website to look her up, I would have zero idea. All I know, the most I know is from this episode, which is that she sometimes plays chess. Like we have had no insight in like, where does she get her money? What did she do on a day-to-day basis? Is she in fashion, is she in PR, is she an influencer?

Who is Brynn? But I kind of love this. I know what you're saying. And I'm not saying she's just like Sonya. I know Sonya's delusional. And also, Jenna's her true. Jenna's stories are all true. Whereas Sonya's are like, well, did you though?

When she's like, oh yeah, I just partied with John John all the time, we were like this. We were like, and Madonna, you know, and you're like, but did you? So hers is a delusion. I guess that's why I'm saying it's not like a direct correlation. But it's like I can see in 20 years, I can see Jenna in a weird scarf, you know, without hot water, saying like, oh my God,

Beyonce were this skirt and kind of dancing around her house. I can see her going a little great gardens. But I will say in support of your point, I feel like Heather's reactions to everything sort of supports that because, you know, Jenna's like, oh, this one is when I met the Obama's and everything Heather is like, oh my God, that's iconic, sell it.

We're like, oh, I love this, this is beautiful. Sell it. It's sort of had the vibe of like, I this story. Oh, you have three more of them Because she really is she says I can't sell this. I met the Obama's she goes, okay, you can keep that She says well, I met Kate Middleton wearing this one. She has sell it She's Beyonce actually wore this one she goes incredible Sell it. I was like wow. I would, I would not sell the Beyonce one, but, you know, yeah, so Jen's, uh, Jenna's like, yeah, well, my senior project from persons, I don't

care. And was like, you know what, you should quilt it. And I was like, you know what, I don't have money. So I actually made it from, from a comforter, which is crazy. I assume then she wears it. And I had to say, okay, you can keep that one. I just wanna point out that like Jenna's 10 second story about being in Parsons and having a senior project and not having enough money to properly quilt her garment. So she had to use a comforter, who's already like significantly more interesting

than the 10 minutes we spent last week of Erin talking about like growing up in real estate and coloring in books with Gwyneth and Brad in a conference room, which doesn't even make sense age-wise as many people pointed out. Why was she coloring in books when she was 17? But either way, it just shows how much more interesting. I don't know why I keep going to this.

Wait, what do you mean the age thing? What? Well, okay. So how old is Aaron? She's probably 35, 37. Okay. Well, Brad, actually Brad pits about to turn 60, which is really crazy.

But Gwyneth Paltrow's probably like 50, right? But either way. Yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow was probably 50. Yeah. God, you're good. She is exactly 50. You're really good.

Yes. Wow. So, talented. Call me up, Goup. I can be an influencer for you, just call me Si. But let's see. So, she's 50 now. And Brad and Gwyneth were together around like 96, 97.

And that's 36. That's 36. God, you really are good. You're very good. And Brad and Gwyneth were together around like 96, 97. Aaron's 36. God, you really are good. You're very good. 96, 7. Okay, you know what? The math works out. I do believe that Aaron was in coloring bookage at that time in 96.

If Aaron is 37, I'm not. That was 96. I don't know. This is like, I don't say the worst thing I've ever talked about in the podcast. Like, literally the worst content I've ever talked about on the podcast like literally the worst content I've ever Provided listeners is Aaron coloring book math as based off of We can only base our stuff on what we're given okay, so if you're mad about this and blame fucking Aaron That's who should be blamed so then we get this song okay

I'm only one step away. I've got to keep my moving. Who is locking Trixi Monaco up? This is all done. Someone has shoved Trixi in the back of the car and made her a prisoner and she's stuck in a basement somewhere. Every song is pointing to the fact that somebody needs to say, she's like, I'm only a step away. I'm so close but I can't get out. But she's very committed to making music during these

experiences which I've had. Always. And I've got that music out there. She'll be like she got sued by Andrew Lloyd Webber coming to go, go, go, go, go, go, Benzino. So Brynn is at a coffee shop and she gets there and the guy working behind the counter is like, and this is a complimentary cookie on the house. My mom made them, which I believe is a lot. Get the fuck out of here. Is your mother even approved? Where's the state board that judges these things?

What's the health advisory board? Whoever the fuck that gives grades? I don't want to eat your mom's fucking cookies. Don't try to do a mom flex, okay? Because Aaron just flexed that her mom's old three-lank and center and your mom made a cookie. So you know what? Just hold on to it, sir.

Right. You're the barista. Get the fuck out of here with your mom, your fucking mom publicity. Sorry that Joanne Pepperidge can't be here to advocate for herself, but we all know where that cookie came from, okay? Does Austin, Flowers and Cafe know that you're just serving your random mom's big shit

in their store? Do you think this is your path to Shark Tank? You'd be like, well, I was a barista and the real house was New York came in and it just like took off like wildfire. I cooked my mom's cookies. And Brynn's like, that is literally delicious. You've got a good mom.

That's fuck her. I totally fuck your mom. Tell your mom I fuck her and her scones. Yeah. I totally fuck your mom. Tell your mom I fuck her and her scones. Yeah So Si shows up and she orders tea and I noticed at least for the moment I was like oh Si did not get a complimentary cookie and she's the one who's actually an influencer Wow, it's like this guy really is fucking up his cookie game But I think he like well she eventually did because he then came over to the table was like here's your

Couple metric cookie. He realized, he's like, shit, shit. I gave the cookie to a long person. Yeah, she got her scone. Yeah, I don't know. Listen, this don't. I'm saying, this guy is mine. As I was watching his mom get rid of him. His mom's like, fuck you.

So the actual influencer came, you didn't give her a scone. You're out. Let me tell you something. Okay, I am saying, as I watch in real time, he did not offer her an insta cookie, the way he offered Brennan insta cookie, but then later on he came up to the table and gave the cookie.

So for a good 30 seconds, I was like, fuck this guy for playing favorites and he played favorites with the wrong person because he's the one who actually is the influencer. It's great show. I love this show. So I'm friends like, uh, has like this little, you know, it's one of those like little chest sets you buy at like Tuesday morning, you know, or they have like mini games. I mean, that was

take one or I bought games from there and they're all mini. And my family was like, what kind of family game night is this? Like at the smurf, so I'm not playing with that. So anyway, it's a mini thing. So she's like, as a kid, I wanted to do ballet, but it was really expensive. So I did, so now that I'm an adult, I do fencing, I do chess, I do violin lessons, piano lessons,

everything I wanted to do as a kid, I do now as an adult. Which I think is kind of key. I actually love that. I think it's so cool that she actually has hobbies. I do that too. Yeah, I think I wanted to do as a kid, I do now. As a kid, I wanted to just eat and lie down. And that's literally all I do now. So whenever I'm depressed, I'm like, you weren't living the life you've always dreamt about. Okay. I feel like so few people on Real Housewives actually have hobbies beyond just like fashion. So to hear that she's like,

oh yeah, I like to do fencing. Or now she has this like little chest set and she's like, yeah, I'm gonna play on a chest tournament soon. I was like, whoa, that's actually really cool. So, so Brynn is like, hey, guess what? I got a call from Jassal and she was like, I'm just over the Hamptons and she's like,

I met up with Aaron and like, I had to tell her, like, I want to move on from all this and then Brynn says that Jassal told her that she met up with Aaron. And so I was like, oh yeah, let's spill the tea in place of chess. I get it. Hey, can I get some tea over here? Who could I guess some tea? Because we're going to spill some tea. God, here she goes. Can you feed me?

Aaron comes. And uh, size, I, hey, Aaron, get get some coffee and then let me know about the tea. Yeah, we're going to talk about tea after you get your coffee. Aaron's like, oh my god. Aaron goes, Aaron says, you know, Justin and I had two different conversations. We had like, we did not have the same one. It was like talking to a chat pot, like you enter an information and then like, oh, outcomes word salad. I'm like, do you even

hear what Sai is saying over here? Coffee tea tea spilled the tea coffee hot bitch. So I was like, oh my God. So did you get your coffee? Did you get cream in it? Did you get cream for the tea? Because we're about to spill some tea. Hey, anybody got napkins? Cause some teas about to spill over here, right? Aaron's like, okay, guys, get ready. Cause this is going to break the internet and put our show on the map. So we sit down and she's like, this area is cute. Very up and coming. Up and coming. Try Becca. It's up and coming. They're all like, oh my god. Ah! They just think it's hilarious. And Brynn's like, I think it was up and coming

with like JFK Jr. and Caroline Bissat. I'm like there, so maybe that's when it was up and coming, stupid. And they're like, yeah, she's like, a shitting on my neighbor. So, and Si said, maybe she didn't know where she was, you know, like wow, like some tea. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe she didn't know where she was, you know, like, wow, like some tea. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe she thought she was in a coffee shop, but she was in a tea

house because she was spilling tea on a, you can't spell, try it back out with that tea. So, uh, Bringo's, oh, you don't know. I got a phone call this morning and there and goes from her. Bringo's, oh, you know we're having a proper conversation when all you know is the pronoun, like everyone knows that we're talking about when you only say her, like I gotta call from her and everybody like total,

cause you're talking about her. You're talking about her. You're like literally talking to people. That's how pronouns work. If you're talking about someone, you can slip in a pronoun and people understand it. Idiotic. It's idiotic at this point, the conversation.

Like, come on. Like, listen, I can imagine laughing at someone, say, like, I can imagine, honestly, I can imagine someone saying something stupid, like, oh, try it back, it's up and coming, because try it back, it's, honestly, it's not up and coming. It obviously has arrived. I can imagine, like, laughing about it, but the fact that they're actually angry about it is what's ridiculous. So Brynn says like,

Yeah, Jaisal said she wants like everyone to stop talking about the Hamptons and like let's stop talking about the Hamptons. So Aaron goes, No one was like trying to attack you, okay? We just voiced our opinion so you can understand how that was wrong. And I was like, maybe we're up sheltered.

Or like no one told you what you did wrong. And she was like, so you're calling me a princess. And I was like, I didn't see that. And like you called yourself a princess. And like all of a sudden she starts welling up in tears, welling up. I'm like, that wasn't. No, she wasn't.

So this is the other thing that makes me crazy. Aaron's just a fucking liar, okay? She's just lying at this point, because this didn't happen. And when she says we had two conversations, yeah, because you're coloring it to the point where it's not even true anymore. She was not crying, and she did not accuse you of,

I mean, yeah, like she literally did not cry, and she didn't even get emotional. She just looked weird. So actually, she was literally smiling. Yeah, she said, so you're quoting me a princess and you're making it sound like this horrible thing, you know. And Brent's like, well, I love it. She calls you a cackling hang.

And then you got my princess and she's the one that cries. And then it's like, yeah, you just can't say anything to Jossal. She's just like going to get offended. And like everyone has to walk on it. You are literally the one who's been offended by everybody in the cast so far. Every little episode, it's Aaron being offended about Shaxuka, about catch, about temperature, about caviar, like literally Aaron loses her mind every episode. She was offended at the Jenna state at her own home.

She was offended that someone didn't want her, yeah, her sex suka. I mean, it's like every little thing. And now she's offended by Tribeca, by saying Tribeca is something coming. So, Brynn is like, she keeps saying like, I want to move on, but like, she's bringing stuff up and you're like, not taking steps to like move to move on. Like, all it would take is like, yeah, I didn't like, it wants out. I'm like, no, but she didn't bring it up. She was talking with Jenna about it. Jenna told the girls that she said, cackling hags, and then they, Erin made a scene

about cackling hags, which then, be got another scene to smooth out the cackling hags thing. Just bring it. And also says, you don't take the steps to just say, you did it. She did say that she did it multiple times and she doesn't give a fuck And psychos yeah, there's no accountability. That's just how she is she literally took accountability and Yeah, usually I take accountability and then I let it go and then if you like don't take accountability then I let you go and then they let it go. And if you don't take account of the money,

then I bet you go. So, Aaron's like, I mean, she was like, you're old man in business, I'm old man in eye support other women, and I was like, don't you dare. And so I was like, well, she obviously has a lot going on. Like, something is wrong with it.

Like, obviously something's wrong. So, yes, let's continue to pile on them. So, now I need to know you, Hag, and a you going to a event and there it's like well I wasn't going to but then she said I don't support women So I'm not giving into that like I'm gonna go now. I was like oh, so you weren't gonna support women until you were accused of not supporting women Okay, no Yeah, is it in meanwhile Brynn and Sire back to playing chess and Brynn is apparently doing very badly And she's like rule number one protect your ponds and try to flirt with him

Maybe have sex with him whatever you can do like ponds are most important thing So people sacrifice them you got a particular pause size like why might listen to your advice? I'm talking owning you and never played chess before So then we go to Jessel's apartment and she's with Aisha, her designer, the person, not her designer, but the designer that she's started a party for. Not the Chiefs too on below deck, which would also be hilarious. Oh, Jessel, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. We're making orange purses for channel 3 in India. It's wonderful. I'm so excited we're making orange purses for children in India. It's wonderful I just put carrot juice on an Indian childhood and I said you make it little one you make it.

So Jess was like I'm really excited to launch my first ever fashion consultancy. It's called the No. As in, you're in the No. KNOW had to explain that six times the Povit, because he refused to understand. And then he just kept on saying no to me and I said, I love your support of my brand, but I think in this case, you're saying no like NO to me and I don't appreciate that. Povit suggested the name because every time he asked for something, I say no. And he says, you say no so many times it's basically your brand. And I thought, you know what? It should be Povat.

So first and then I didn't think you said since you've been pregnant with me. Now get out of the room. So Povat's sitting there and he's got a character in his champagne. And she's like, that is not normal. What are you doing? There's a woman from Vogue who's going to have big circles out of cheeks coming over. You cannot have a character in your wine.

Half of these people wear carrots as earrings, darling. You can't just have it in a champagne glass. Don't disrespect the metal feet and vegetables in this house. So she tells us about herself. She's like, Aisha used to run creative design for Michael Cours. You might remember him as the leather handbag. He used to be a judge on Project Runway.

And I used to run Michael Cours as PR. And I've just seen her flourish into this incredible designer. And I wanted to support her. She goes on to her own endeavors. I was like, OK, so she seems to like actually have a really good resume. Right? Yeah, she does. So then we go over to Jenna's okay. So she seems to like actually have a really good resume, right? Yeah, she does. So then we go over to Jenna's apartment

and she's decorating her Christmas tree with Baka, her son, and also her God daughters. And they're all in jumpsuits. Jenna's violet and Isabelle, her indentured servants. Do we even believe that they're real God daughters at this point because I'm starting to wonder, I'm just already brought up Sonya, but I'm starting to wonder, I'm, I'm, I just already brought up Sonya, but I'm starting to wonder if she's getting interns that she calls Goddodders.

I've never seen somebody with so many Goddodders that are working. I know, I noticed that they keep on, um, there's like more and more each time, than the Goddod, it's like, I feel like it's like some weird version of Pinocchio. Like they're all gonna like, redonky ears. So they're all like putting up the, they're all putting up the Christmas tree stuff. And Jenna, it turns out Jenna's like a real big Christmas person, which I was a little surprised at.

I thought she'd be like, I don't really like Christmas. I just wrap my tree up in khaki and call it a day, but she's actually super into it and she talks about how she loves the music and she loves listening to Mariah and she says, she's like, I love lots of lights on the tree. It's like sequence on a plant. And she's like, I don't get much time with Beckett, so this is it, you know, I'm sorry to miss the thing about we're doing ornaments on the tree tonight, that's it. So then we got to jessles and the fashion people start coming. And God, just fucking love fashion people.

Cause I all look crazy. It's like, are you trying? Are you auditioning to play a mushroom in the Mario sequel? Like, what do you? Who's dressing you people? It's like, are you like a, like a French circus? Yes. And then it's like the guy from looney teams, it's like a French circus. Yes, and then it's like the guy from Looney Tunes,

he's like, kill the whippet, kill the whippet, kill the whippet, kill the whippet. But he's dressed like Elton John. Like, I fucking love fashion people. I wanna be a fashion for, I would never, as an old Navy gay, I would never be allowed into this world, but God, I never looking into it. They literally all look like little characters you meet

when you play Zelda. I was like, because I'm playing Zelda right now, and I was like, oh, I think I just did a side quest with that editor from Paper Magazine. So, Jussle is like, it's of course, by the way, when all these important people come by, which also, by the way, all of them are very important people. They all have very impressive names okay and titles yes but

when when they come in Jessal puts on full-on Jenna Lyon's Jesselface where she's like okay pop it but you can't wait but that can't wait right now can't hello crazy person from paper nylon magazine good to see you hello head of paper Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello pours. Purses for pours. Oh, and look at you. Hello, person who knows Anna Winhtor. I know you, which means I know Anna Winhtor. Come in, come in, no carrots in the wine here. It's just funny that the people who are in charge of fashion are just like 80 year old ladies

who look like they have thimbles on their head. It makes them, like makes them make. They all look, they honestly they all look like a gal, gal green from top chef masters. I don't know, we just all believe it. We're like, okay, you've dared the pro. I guess I'll believe, I guess I'll believe that lady who looks like she just, it looks like a display at the hobby lobby who just walked off of a shelf.

And I support it. I trust their style intrinsically. I trust anything that they say. And what's also funny is that Scy walks in and none of them give a fuck. She's fashion influencer walks in and none of the editors turn their head and then someone says, oh, hi, oh my goodness,

good to see you again. They just don't even pay attention to her. So she's like, is this a shoe house or a not shoe house? Cause you can't wish use the buy house. So we should wait shoes at this house. And just it's like, you can keep your shoes on, please. In fact, please keep your shoes on. You must be so tired.

Thank you so much for coming. And so I was like, I am, I am so tired. You have snacks, right? See, cause what I, like you and Aaron, like I heard you and Aaron got into a thing and you got really emotional about it. It's like, just come in. Like who does that?

You're so fucking rude. It just come in, hug everybody, say hi and get a drink. Like do you have to immediately come in and just shit all over the woman in her own home? Actually, I support that. I support that because I've been on the record too much saying like, I'm so sick of these like ten minute entrances that are like fashion shows just get into it. So I can't complain that someone just gets into it.

So Jessel was like, she's like, I heard that you know, you got emotional and Jessel's like, how was it emotional? She was awkward and so I guess, yeah, well, she called you a princess and you cried didn't you? And Jessel's like, no, she didn't call me a princess. She said I think you're being catered to and I was like, oh, like, so you're like calling me a princess, which I thought actually showed side. I mean, Jussle really owning up to it because Aaron's thing that she was saying before at the coffee place was that she was Aaron was like, and then I said, you're acting like you're being, you seem like someone who's been catered

to. And then she was like, are you calling me a princess? And I was like, I never said princess. So the fact that Jussle did not continue that narrative of like, I can't believe she called me a princess, the fact that she was open about the fact that Aaron didn't call, oh my god, little chicken. Aaron takes things and twists them. Aaron takes things that are happening

and she twists them to make herself some hero and the other person, a villain. Whereas Jussle tells you exactly what was said. So far, I'm learning, I believe, Jessel over Aaron. Any day. Right. 100%. So, size like, well, I mean, don't be offended then. She goes, what, who said I was offended?

And size like, well, listen, you do come, she says, I'm sorry, Jessel says, so I took offense because I'm like, I came here with no money and I worked my ass off and maybe I give off a certain vibe sometimes. And size I guess yeah, you come off like you come from money Like there's some some old money vibe there like maybe it's the English accent. I don't know Just like okay, so now they're making assumptions based on how I'd talk and how I look isn't that illegal in America No, I think that's like an American pass time, unfortunately. So, size like, well, don't be offended if someone looked at me like I was old money, I'd be like, yes, darling.

So now, size trying to rebrand all this. So, Uber arrives and then, um, just, just looks like, Uber, what is this? What did you brought? And I guess Uber has some cookies. And just it's like, these are my favorite cookies, but Puffet won't let me put them in the Oreo jar because Puffet only likes Oreos. So unfortunate. I hope you like them, they're cookies with Uber hot

because you know, every since I'm a model, I don't like just cookie. I like it with hot on it. And then she goes, she orders from the bartender. Could I have a gingerbread within a champagne glass? I'm like, no, please don't let this be a thing. So I serve that's officially her thing now. So just I was like, well, if you'll excuse me, I need to say hello to people.

So she walks off and Bryn comes. And who says you look so Stanford, so old money? Oh, size telling her. Yeah. Yeah, so size just telling her what happened, right? Right. And Brin's like, yeah, well, Brin's joking because Brin's like, yeah, I look like old money. That's like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Brin's saying how she loved me. I'm like, I'm like, I'm Langston. Yeah. And they're like joking about like, she's joking how she would love to be called a princess. And then they're joking about her blazer, like Ridge Gear blazer from, which is like, I only drink where men's blazers.

And she's like, this jacket is actually made from a brand called none of your business. It's nobody's business where I came from. It's my blazer now. I'm like, meanwhile, this is like your one third of the people who are like going in on jussle every five seconds about when you having sex When you have any sex you have sex yet? Jeff sex you gonna have sex tonight and now it's like they can't even ask about what the blazers from and I know

I sound like I'm taking this way too seriously and I agree with you and I'm like really embarrassed for myself right now So hey, well, I'm what are you gonna do? It's what we're watching. So these purses are these like, they look like gardening bags. I don't know how else to put them, but they're shaped kind of like in a V. They look like gardening bags. Big leather gardening bags, but the straps to them are bracelets.

So you wear it like a bracelet. You wear your purse like a bracelet, okay? Which is, I guess a cute idea. I mean, heavy. Sounds heavy. Sounds heavy. But that's what they are. So, Si is making fun of Bryn about not being good at chess. And then we see Bryn playing chess at her chess tournament and not knowing how to play chess at all. So I don't know if she's just doing this for like a, isn't this like this is what I do, this is my story. I'm a girl who takes classes, but she's terrible at everything and she doesn't really do it

Yeah, she didn't really seem to know how to do the chest timer and like the guy she was with was like helping her out I mean, we just sort of see this very quick montage that just ends with the guy giving her this like patronizing handshake like Congratulations, you tried I like that was my favorite part just come out, you know, I think that's That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part.

That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part.

That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. That was my favorite part. season? I think it was like a win season thing.

I mean, I don't know. I don't watch it. I haven't watched it yet. I guess I won part of it. I was like, yeah. I watched just the musical. I'm at Sweradry the Line. And that was a great one.

But I still drew the line. I was like, I think I've had enough. I've had enough of this. Yeah. So Sai is now joking with Uber about how tall models always have short boy friends. and Uba is like, short-talk guys are always very very confident. If you find a short-bulk man, like that man will come up and reach up and look at you like you are the son. I'm like, I feel like she and Kiki need to

have a summit about bald men because they have a lot of hot takes on bald men and they're not in line with each other. Oh, um, Brynn'snn's like, if he's so short, but he can stand on his money, they don't need a booth there. And so I was like, oh my queen, I'll crawl on top of my money to reach you, they all start laughing. So then later at Jussles,

we see Felicia Galant fashion editor, just getting cheese from another world. We see Linda Dan out just coming with her earrings, foiling everywhere. It's like me. It's me. It's me. I would have died.

I would have been like Jassal. It's the biggest woman I shall. She's literally just for a place. Yeah, so they're all sitting around waiting for gentle lions. And then the kids escape from quarantine, like little velociraptors, you know, and they come running into the party. Brynn is actually very adorable with the kids.

She gets so excited, she starts playing with them and then Povits like, wow, they really love you, it's so exciting for them to finally meet a mother type who actually likes to spend time with them. This is so wonderful. I know. I don't think they've ever heard somebody say, come here, let me give you a kiss before. Apparently they like that. So then they face time, Jenna Lyons, and Jenna's there. She's like lighting her Christmas tree or whatever, and she's showing everyone the tree and the kids and everything, and she's saying,

oh, yes, sorry guys, I can't be there because I don't get to see Beck at much. So, you know, I hope everyone has a great night and everything so they're all like waving. It's like a nice little FaceTime. Except it's not because then it's over and then Brynn's like, so wait a second, she's putting on a Christmas tree

like Hallmark moment, great. But I thought there was an event she had. And it was like, yes, I thought that she had an event. Yeah, why can't she just say, my son's coming over and we're putting together a tree? Why is it like she has to lie and say that there's an event? She did not fucking lie. Here's the exact-

She said she had a conflict. She said, I might not be able to. And Brent said, why, what do you have? And she said, I don't really remember. She never said she had an event. She refused to tell you. Yeah, so now Jussles, then meanwhile Jussles tells Aaron, because Aaron has now entered in, and she's like, listen, before you even walk into my house, I was wondering if you could take your dirty tryback as she's off, we don't need that up-and-coming neighborhood scum on my

floors. Also, my intention with that conversation was like, you know, just to get over it and I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, I understand people in dry back are very sensitive, more primitive types that don't understand complex and human emotions. So, you know, that wasn't my intention at all. Yeah, well, I came here even though my baby is sick. So, like, wow, you're like the best person. So then Aaron goes to the girls and she's like, I had the day from hell because my baby's sick

and then that fucking stupid, fucking jessil. I mean, look, listen, thermometers, like I guess the thermometer is broken because it said 107. And I was like, how's this even fucking possible? I mean, thermometers is it my right? Thermometer. Did she use like a quick read digital thermometer?

That's for food, okay? That's not for children. So they called the doctor and I don't know. Then we see it's like linear, we see this fashion lady, who's, she's the one with a red thimble on her head and they're like, oh my God, it's linear. She has that on her cheeks. Her thing is that she has like little sort of like pink

circuit like like old fashioned clown circles on her cheeks. And they're all like, oh my God, which I don't, you know, I love this because I just love this jess of flex that she's, she's able to do to like Aaron and Brynn inside this moment. I do too because even I see that woman and I'm like, oh my God, that is iconic. Like if even an old Navy gay can see that, I was like, wow, I recognize her from places.

I mean, I don't know, but even I know that she's something, you know. And so everybody's super impressive that Jessel actually knows all these people and that they would come to an event at her house that's being filmed for a reality show, which they all probably consider disgusting, which means they all probably really like Jettel. So you go, girl.

Exactly. That is actually, that's what I thought too. I was like, because honestly, I don't think most of those people are care about going to an apartment to see some handbags. I think they like Jettel and they like to each other, like Jettel put together probably a pretty good event. So, like Jussle put together probably a pretty good event. So yeah, so then meanwhile Aaron and Sire like chasing the wine and Aaron's like, oh, have you tasted this wine? And Sire's like, is it not Trader Joe's wine? Oh, like, oh my god, this is disgusting, it's rancid.

It is like so rancid, like this is disgusting. Sorry, it's bad, sorry, it's all. So then yeah, they're like dissing the wine and Aaron's like, rant said. So Aaron's like, so guys, you're all invited to my anniversary party, okay? It's gonna be it next week. You guys should come.

And Brent's like, I'm gonna wear a pacy's too. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, guess where I got my blazer? I fucked for it. Yeah. Oh my god. Guys, get free to go on my blazer. I fucked for it. Oh my god. Aaron's like, I'm gonna be drenched in diamonds.

And I'm gonna say vows because we never did that. I was like, oh my god. Well, congrats on your impending divorce. This is very exciting. Wow, you're already starting with a vowel renewal. Wow. Well, is it a vowel renewal if you never had vowels in the first place?

I kind of feel like saying vowels after the initial marriage counts as the curse. I don't know. Well, Si then says, I just have a question. I just don't care. I just don't care if she even gets divorced. What do you think about that?

I have one question about this wedding. Is she gonna serve us any kind of food? Because her track record is not good. Ha ha ha ha. So size like, did Jenna tell you she had an event tonight? What about that? Let's spell some tea guys, okay? Like let's put down this really cheap wine

so we could spell tea everywhere. And Justin's like, she said she had an event at a house or something. And Brynn's like, um, yeah, her name is not going to be gentle lines. It's going to be gentle line. I'm like, not like, run, like, like the cat, because that would be like gentle line. I'm not like, it's going to be like, gentle line, like, with all why I am a pro. If you just shut up, just stop, we get it, okay? You get the word play.

We get the word play, it's okay. So, um, Brynn's like, if I were the one who was a accusant not being honest about this, Darlin, be hell, the bad. She's still doing this thing too, of like, like Jenna's allowed to bail on a vent, but I can't, I'm like, yes, because Jenna Lyons is famous and important. And Jessel is kissing her ass.

That is literally how this works. Just no, it's because you fucking ditched everybody, said you had to go home, and then you went to another restaurant and purposely posted about it to piss them off on social media. That's why it's not like you had something else to do and you told everybody and they got on your ass.

You were being an asshole on purpose. Like she just keeps bringing this up over and over again. Like it's gonna make her right in that situation. And she's like, so when you do homework in London, do you say it's events? Like is that what we're calling it now? Like, oh my God, I have to help my kids in the homework. Got in the bin. Oh my God, I have to help my kids in the homework. Got in the band.

Oh. Oh my god, I had an event last night. My son was doing a project. It was the most amazing event. Ha. Brings like, well, I guess this morning I took a shit. I had a gala. Ha.

And then, Uba, oh, I'm in by the way, Erin Cackels with her head back, which I loved. She actually went, ha. I was like, Aaron Cackels with her head back, which I loved. She actually went I was like that's there it is. There's a fucking cackel, okay? So if anybody needs to settle this argument, there's your clip of it. Well, Aaron always does that too to really try to sell to To the viewers that they are just like a hilarious group of girlfriends. She's always Oh my god, that's outrageous. We are outrageous people right now. So then it was like oh my god. That's outrageous. We are outrageous people right now So then it was like oh my god. You're on your knees. I love it I love you on the knees just jess it on on the on the carpet and bring it like was this the first time you've been on your knees on this carpet

And they're like Why did walking real New Yorkers right now? God so then Aaron just cackles and they're like, oh my God, where are the riots? And that brings us to the end of episode five of Real Housewives of New York City. Wow.

So I mean, look, we're getting outraged about things. That's always a good sign. You know, it's the first season housewives we have to fight about stuff. So let's just keep repeating the same fights over and over that I'm blaming Frederick Ecclund at this point. I was, I'm thinking Frederick started all of this there. I bring, I bring Frederick for a lot of things in life and I'm just going to stick with

blaming Frederick for this one. I, I think that's like such a safe thing to do. Like if there's, when you think about terrible things happening in your life, whether you stubbed a toe, whether you're outraged about climate change, it's all, all Frederick's fault. So on that note, thank you all for being here for watching and for listening.

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