Watch What Crappens - RHONY: The South Beach Riot

Episode Date: May 31, 2019

It's time for the annual "Real Housewives of New York" group trip (although, to be fair, they've gone on about 5 this season so far), and in true form, these women deliver an absolutely epic, instantly iconic, send-it-to-the-Library-of-Congress episode. A lot happens — Dorinda makes a cocktail, Luann snarls at everyone, Tinsley gets pushed around, Ramona unpacks her luggage — but it really comes down to Sonja Morgan going on the bender of all benders. God bless her. We recap everything, including a top notch Godzilla promo that is both hilarious and totally perfect for this episode. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay. Kristi Wawardy-Dawardy.

Jamie, she has no last name. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. Zip some scotch with Jessica Trot. Chazzy Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters! What you talkin' about Willis, it's Sonic Illis! Aaron McNickalis, she don't miss no trickle-ists! Megan the Slayer Taylor, in a Homer with Jeffrey Bomber!

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Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins. Chikouji! What's your name? Crapin' Kids, what? Happens when this song What if that means? It's a fun, you know? Crapin' It's a fun, you know? What if it means? Crapin' Kids, what?

Happens when this song What if that means? Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelkerr of the Real House where there's a kitchen island. It's a cartoon on YouTube. And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Karam of the Rose Prick Spatch Rose podcast. What's up Ronnie? Hi, man. Hi, we're going on, baby. Well, a lot's going on. We're talking

Real House House of New York today, which was epic. Last night can't wait to get into it. But first, in case you missed all of our live show announcements this week, we've got a bunch of stuff going on. We announced a New York show at an Indianapolis show. Both of them, they go on sale tomorrow, Friday. That's when they go public on sale. But there's been a pre-sale going on. And honestly, I just looked at the map of the ticket map for New York City. And like, there's probably only about 70 tickets left. So that's the, it hasn't even gone on sale to the public yet. So make sure you jump on that. And then of course, we got Milwaukee next week.

We're very excited about, we are going to be recapping Southern Charmin, Milwaukee, and Real House House of New York in Minneapolis. So get excited for that. Milwaukee tickets are still available. We want you desperately to come buy some tickets. The more the merrier the better the show is, the more exciting it is for everyone. So go to watchercrapins.com to buy your tickets. And of course we got Cleveland and Baltimore and Nashville also on sale. So lots of fun amazing stuff coming down the docket. while you're there at watchrocrapins.com Be sure to get some merchandise. Ronnie wants to tell everyone about the merchandise.

Hi, we've got a couple new shirts this month. We have right now there is a dress and drink for Patricia from Southern Charm to welcome that show back. And it's just a big martini. And then we're going to have later in the week, we're gonna have a team LVP shirt, so get mad. Okay, fine, don't care if you're mad at me. And then probably we're doing this on video today. We're doing a video recap or live streaming. We do these twice a week. So if you want videos, you don't have to be here for the live stream. The video stay up. So that's a section over at patreon.com. Slash, watch what crappens. Okay, join in the fun. Whoa, it's gonna be so much fun. So today we just, I mean, this is big. I mean, Real House House of New York, Cast Trip, no one does a cast trip like New York,

even in their worst season, and I'm not saying this is their worst season, but even in season five, when they transition to a new cast, and everyone's like, I'm not sure about this cast, still an iconic cast trip. And you know what, like this week, I mean, I don't even know. I don't even know where to begin with this episode. It basically is just like

Sonya drunk for an hour and totally down for it. Yeah, and Dorenda. And also, you know, for those of you who can't spend the time listening to the entire recap and you're busy and you're working and you're doing stuff, let me just tell you what happened. Old ladies got really drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. And it was amazing. It was an amazing time. It was like a junior league meeting at my mom's house. Yeah. So the episode opens up. We're still in New York City and the Christmas music is playing where it's officially Christmas time. And we go to a place called Carol Music Studios which may be laugh because of course the red would be

Jingle bells Jingle bells Sir Crap come on girl pick it up all right let's do it faster Quiet Reds of quiet razzle bells jingle bells Oh, speed it up, girl. We wish you a merry baby. We wish you a merry baby. We miss you a merry baby and a baby, baby. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, baby, ah, baby, ah, baby. Ah, ah, baby, ah, baby. A baby is baby on baby baby

baby jolly baby silent baby rocking around the baby baby what a lovely time to climb on the curtains. I saw baby kissy baby, clop. I'm dreaming of a white baby. Oh good. So yeah, we're at Carol's studio. And Louisiana singinganna singing Jingle Bells as basically a spoof of herself. I mean, she sounds like a pat. She sounds like a carton of like Virginia slims.

Yeah. She's doing a jazzy capravers version. She's like, jiggle bells, jiggle bells all the way. Jiggle bells. Jiggle bells. you know what I like to jiggle some bells yeah, I'm gonna be at her Jigabals I'd like to think my riders My agent she's like Christmas is everything and I do a Christmas show, which is everything It's like okay, she's singing around that gay that gay musical director guy too much, okay? Cuz now she says is everything Y'all's queen

Cuz then she's like she's the link just being like Yeah, queen the guy in the back. So then Sonia comes in uninfited You know, which is a big no-no. Yeah, I attribute to Lana some more set It's just gonna be a lot of singing today everyone a lot of screeching today a lot of catterwalling so yeah, so Sonia comes over uninvited and she's like, I mean, I must get boring, you know, just like, you know, being like, just stuck with the same entourage all the time and not getting to see a girlfriend and without a comeover, you know. Yeah, and she's cracked out. Can we just, can we just all say Sonia's cracked out of her mind?

She is not just some normal. She's like this is me every day No, it's not you're all crack. Okay. I don't know what it is I'm guessing it's crack because that's like the cheapest drug. Yeah, but you're on something obviously Please keep taking it. Yes, whatever Ellen Burstin took in Requiem for a dream when she saw her refrigerator attacking her That's what so news on you have Requiem for a Morgan so she comes in and she's like her. That's what Sohnia's on. We got a Requiem for a Morgan. So she comes in and she's like, well, you know, I live in the neighborhood. You live in the neighborhood. The neighborhood to neighborhood. So I just thought neighborhoods. Am I right? Oh, geez. So then the wind's like, okay, whatever. I'll

just keep rehearsing. You know, like a consummate professional show must go on so she starts like doing her show She sounds like if 18 wheeler trucks on the freeway like gotten to a race It's like a bus coming in. Maybe, Carl. So Luanne's like, she's like, alright, let me do my hair. Okay, come on girls. In a situation like this, you have to be cool. Don't be all, on cool, girl, girl, girl, girl. So he just leans in to Ben Rummel-Hower, she's like, her delivery's much better at the show.

Yeah, you know, she's not great in rehearsal, but she's definitely better. Hey, Luana! We're being cool over here. I like to think I'm cool, not I'm cool. I don't think so. I'm cool, not I'm cool. Dear, right, you're doing a Luana! She's such a bitch.

She's such a bitch. Luana is going nuts since the moment Sonia walked in. She's not a bitch. Lwanna is going nuts since the moment Sonia walked in. She's not stop talking. I mean, it's been incessant, incessant talking. What do you think this is? Around house where a talk is free. And Ben's like, honey, you gotta keep your voice down.

When we're trying to do a show here. And he's like, oh, okay, it's just I wanna help you man. I don't want you to fail after all that hard work you did. I know, and then she just starts, then they just give her the full like you're talking too much treatment. It's like a montage of her saying random things. Like, Jeanette was coming out of the counter to the lace.

I, you know, I'd rather see someone's dick hanging out. I didn't touch anything. I didn't, hey, the guy didn't even get the coffee. It's not an ant over there. Oh my God, there's like an ant, baby, does it baby on didn't hate the guy didn't even get the coffee. Is that an ant over there? Oh my god, there's like the answer. Baby, does it baby on the ceiling? Who thought a baby on the ceiling? I mean, this is better than an overdose and a found piece. Am I right? Oh, yeah, it's like what's going on with her? I mean who interrupts? Cabaret like that. Didn't we learn our lessons from Giovanni?

Giovanni. What was that? So then Ben's like, hey Chris, why don't you take Sony out to the hallway to run lines? And when it's like, she doesn't have any lines. Oh, come on, the wind. Come on, the wind. Play with us, yeah.

At least, like, well, I didn't invite her. And if you're gonna surprise me then shut the dark up! Get it? That's a little cabaret humor. Shut the dark up. So she goes into this joke she's been working on. She's like, well, someone didn't get the love for their Giovanni intro. Uh, their introduction to Giovanni for me.

So in humble appreciation, I would like to present my friend, Dorinda, with the Giovanni Award for Magnamorous Glamour. Magnanimous. Magnanimous. And so even Sonya in her cracked out sick, be like, no, this is a bad idea. This is a bad idea.

I wouldn't do this the way I'm in the way. I'm like, I could do whatever I want. Durinda needs to get a sense of humor. Oh! Ha ha! So then we cut over to Christmas shots, which did you notice the Christmas music in this, especially the beginning? The Christmas music was like, BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!

I was like, that's not Christmas music. It's like Southern Charm Water fountain music. What did you expect? I was like, that's not Christmas music. It's like Southern and Charm Water fountain music. What did you expect? It was pretty, it's a Carol Studios. So Christmas shots at the city, glasses of champagne. It's the tree lighting ceremony at Rockefeller Center. It was like, it was like tree lighting at 31 rock. I'm gonna do the ass. Some of the rock. It's like a smaller lighting at 31 rock. I'm gonna be asked.

Some of the rock. It has like a smaller, more intimate rock. Basically like D'Arenda is like going to be lighting a tree. I wasn't sure if it was like a separate tree at 30 rock or just somewhere else entirely. She's like, where are we at? No, it is a big tree at 30 rock of paradise. That's a big, big tree.

This is what is like the smaller V.O.P. tree, you know, it's, it's on 125th Street. Ha ha ha ha. This is where the rich people go, and the poor people go to the other tree. I'm into it especially tree! It's the real Icalic moment in New York. So then, John, you know, John's there because the tree starts kind of trembling. Because John's just like, eh. Eh. Eh.

And you really laugh. The clicky yay. The tree's like, please don't take me. I heard you have a fur that needs to be cleaned. Hey, yo. Well, fur. And so, Tyrande is like, you really come? And Son is like, well, means to be clean. Hey yo Well, first uh, and so Tarenda's like you really come and suddenly is like well, I don't know But today I saved Lou from a wopsy moment because she was gonna do a joke She was gonna run Dorenda with Horrinda. I mean she was just gonna pray to you after naked and then throw poop at you and scream

Shame shame shame. It's gonna be terrible, but she's planning. I was like fucking sonia. Yeah, so Dorenda of course is now I'm double see where you know what she's not gonna talk about me and her show anymore. She's gonna talk with my lawyer That's what she's gonna do. Matlock get over here Matlock is that white synth right clean You're gonna need that white synth matlock. I got your covered buddy You can eat that white soup, Matt Lack. I got your covered buddy. Ha ha ha ha. So then Tinsley comes, Tinsley's there and she's like,

um, well you know what? Like remember the other day when we're doing that clay thing with Barbara. It's like what, huh? Well, no, we don't remember this clay thing with Barbara and with Builder Bear busy. What the fuck are you doing? Wait, it's in your time at a clay place.

I want to see Dorenda build a bear. Yeah, and by the way, why are all these amazing scenes being stuck into like a little flashbacks? We have to watch endless scenes of Kyle running her backyard on Beverly Hills. And yet with this wonderful show, we have that amazing Angel's Gala thing that was a flashback.

And now we have this clay situation that was a flashback. Yeah, we're not happy. Yeah, we don't like this. We don't like Bravo's priorities. So Tim, he's like, well, remember that clay plays because LeWan said the year like Manning Sonia and she has a viewer on the back. My pills. So, so then we see a flashback to this thing and Leann is with, uh, Bethany and Ramona and like some of the other girls and Luann's like, Do you guys think that sodium is being a bit uppity? You know, like... You know, uppity! You mean like, on uppers, is that what you meant?

I don't think that's what you mean. What do you mean, what do you mean, what, uh, what do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? She may not be able to accomplish this. She's being one of the many more information. Like, seriously, like one of my worst words to go with. I'm like, what is this? Huh?

Yeah. Yeah, it's alcohol. Alcohol. And something else. And her amount goes, well, I swore her at your place in Kingston. And I wrote back with her. I'm like, Ramona, thanks for the update. Yeah, Ramona is thanks for the update.

Yeah, Ramona is dropping a lot of random information in this episode. She's giving geographical updates. Yeah, and then suddenly it's like, well, Sun is like, oh, give me a break. She's such a diva. Like she's making comments about everyone now. Like, I'm manic. She's like doing jumping everyone now like on manic. Yeah, she's like doing jumping jacks. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like you know, it's a great way to prove that you're not manic. Don't do something super manic. I know. So she's like, oh, this is rich.

You know, I have Luan ask if I'm on pills. He got a few AA meetings. You're an expert on people with substance abuse. So I'm a sudden I'm like, actually, I think actually that might help. Yes, I think it does improve your ability to understand people who are on subs since abuse. 16, you're laying, duan. Well, it's kind of hard to, when you're drunk. Okay, I'm just gonna say that now.

That's why you shouldn't drink and drive everybody. Don't drink and drive. Um, so then Jill's Aaron shows up, which is exciting. And she's like, this is her. She's like, hey, am I back in the show? No, oh, okay. Hi. So then Barbara and Ramona and Luana all sort of show up. And Ramona's like, whoa, I'm so excited about Miami.

That's for sure, okay? And another thing, to the day, I'm so excited about Miami. That's for sure, okay? And another thing, till the day I rode in a car with Sonia and we went three blocks, okay? I have lunches for her there in the car. It's amazing to see it again. I mean, who doesn't like my hand? You got the sign, you got the weather, you got men, different kinds of men. it's a win-win, every way.

Except for tinsley, cause it probably will always remind her about how she'll probably never have a child. You could tie. So, yeah. Durrinda just leans over to the way I'd say, I don't like you tacking you that means show. And the way I was like, whoa, whoa, it's nice. It's nice what I'm saying. She's like, oh really? Talking about me going with you. You ripping the dresses.

That's nice. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who brought you there? Who brought you there? Yeah. So Luanne, she dust off some of her new cabaret humor perhaps.

Rotesting Cemeteryal. She's like, I mean, what is this? Okay, so, Jaws Vani, just wasn't what I thought it was safe to go in the water, outcome the Jaws. I'm like, hmm, the way I'm not pretty for us, and that's going from someone who makes a lot of forced jokes on this show.

Yeah. We're the queens of force shit. And that's it, okay. That's like, that's not for us, you need some teamy, okay? To help that, give that a, and that's it. Okay. That's like that's not for us. You need some team me. Yeah, okay to help back Jaws Bonnie what I'm trying to say is that she's sort of like a Shark I'm like that's not you're not even making a joke you're just bearing things What is this?

Okay, you know, you're just naming shark with your piece. Oh, oh, oh if I put if I put you to tank I'm not gonna find best of you in there giving investments to people get it Just naming Sharkbeer Beast Linnie. Oh, oh, if I put, if I put you to a tank, am I gonna find Bethany in there giving investments to people? Get it? I'm sorry, everyone, he's hearing that noise. I'm trying to adjust my microphone. Oh, just, and I'm not very good at it.

Just what you thought it was, say it's listed the podcast. Here come the jaws of his microphone. What is this, John's Bonnie? Yes. I'm gonna start saying that for any time I get mad. of his microphone. What is this, Josh Vani? I'm gonna start saying that for any time I get mad. What is this, Josh Vani? But it poor Perlawant, you probably, they say to rent the shfrieks out You know to rent it your orders ready to get me

You've never heard to Rinda more triggered than when she listens to Destiny Child every time that song say my name Same in name comes out. She just loses it Same in name! Yes, you know, this is Beyonce. You know what? You're the Beyonce? You're getting a letter from my lawyer. You got your letter from my lawyer. She's my name out of your mouth and all three of your childrens. And by the time Durrinta actually sends a letter from her lawyer, it's like, You're the same here. Why can't. That can be these people, right?

I like you. You want to have lunch? We should do it in my new neighborhood. I know the cheese guy. Yeah, I feel like the letter that eventually comes with the lawyer is just a handwritten recipe. You got it. You got to try this. It's delicious. It's like, you know, three or four cups of flour. I don't know. You got to eyeball it. Oh, god. I don't know. You got eyeball it. Oh, God, I need more precision.

Let's face it. It's time for commercial break. I'm sorrie, I'm sorrie. But don't take one. It's going to be very day-class set. OK. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

But come on. Some days, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.

What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Get used to it. It was like, is that my cababy? Okay. Well no, it's mine and I can talk about whatever I want to. Uh-huh. Which is like, I mean, Luanne is like so honored to have this episode with her entitlement.

It's like, she says it's got to be at least seven different times, variations of all say whatever I want to say. Yeah, I have a cabaret show. Yeah, I'm with Luanne. Everyone's like, you can't say this. You can can't say that yeah, yeah, I can't okay I have microphone stop me try to stop me. Yeah, don't at me and you know what Luanne has been on our high horse a lot of the season But I actually think a lot of the stuff that they're mad about is tough That's like like about the I actually think this is like they're attacking the wrong things

So like when she says oh shut up. I'll say what I want to say she's actually in the right most this episode which is crazy Yeah, I know they're just ready to go in on her now. Let me do that is an asshole I don't know why you know we're not gonna act like she's not an asshole But they're during the Disney. We know what's happening. She put if during the just heard that in the show I don't think she'd be mad. I think she'd be like okay if Dorenda just heard that in the show, I don't think she'd be mad. I think she'd be like, okay, can you make it up to me?

I can you can you make it up to me? Is that making it up to me? You know what would be good? A good queer. I love it, she's gay. You know what is also funny to me is that like, every time Lou Ann says things like, it's my cab, bro, it's your cab, ratio,

I can talk about whatever I want to. It's just funny because, it's a cab, ratio, not I can talk about whatever I want to. It's just funny because it's like a cab, ratio. It's like, it's not like she has an evening talk show. It's not like she's like has something like a like like she's on Broadway with a Tony winning. It's just literally a piano, like a, and she's like singing like flat standards. And the fact that she's acting like this is entitled to her now to like be able to say whatever she wants as an artist, it is hilarious to me. Yep. And then Dorenda gives her Christmas speech. She's like, well, can come like him or anybody who knows Dorenda Mett knows that she loves Halloween like the grandah

it's Christmas yeah Jesus was born in a pumpkin with a little tiny candle in tiny and the three white women came in not done is going that you got me candy only to end this is Halloween to read that it's not quite the story not quite the same story. As we all know, Christmas is the time of year when you put out some cookies and milk by the fireplace. And you see if John takes the temptation if he does it. Yeah, done with him. In other words, Monday through Friday.

And John cut to milk with John with like a little milk mustache. Like, Gary. So Sonya goes up to Luann and she's like, so I heard you call me manic. First of all, it's not pills. It's happiness. Luann's like, happy pills. Luann's like, um, of course she's taking something. Who's not taking something in our group? I'm still gonna got caught.

She's like, you're a manic popster, Sonia, and Sonia goes, oh, she's a cabaret star. Sonia, and the man's like, well, she comes to my my rehearsal, and then she tells Durrinda I was talking about her. I mean did you tell her it was good stuff At least and I was saying Zonia and Sonia suddenly has like Eyeliner all over her eyes. Did you notice that it's like Sonia pulled out an eyeliner stick and just like marked it all over her eyes Like a shark. She suddenly got like these recognize and she's like no because you said I was on Yeah, and she also is like holding a martini. I don't know how she gets a martini glass at a Christmas tree lighting but she has one and the man's like give me that just takes out of Sonia's hands and so Sonia's like you were saying

bad things about me and Llan was like, I was worried because you're acting manic. Manic, I'm happy. Not manic, let me do the splits and then do a cartwheel and then write a novel right now, because I'm happy. Like I'm doing the Lord of the Rings. She's like doing the Lord of the Dance Dance.

And the girls have to like hold her up. I'm like, yep, you're really making a case there, son. So then after this, we then go to a, it's like a showroom or something where women can go and like pick out outfits and stuff. So Bethany walks in wearing this big red thing that makes her look like a bloody Yeti, like a Yeti that just got like stabbed

and then rolled around in its own blood pool. So she shows up. I think she looks like Hester from Project Runway. She looks like Hester masturbating. Just like Hester's wet dream. Oh my god. What a terrible, what a terrible like meeting of the, meeting of the merging of the world's Hester and Bethany. Yeah. Two world views. It's getting me mad. It's getting winzy. So, she's dressed like a bloody Yeti. And then, so, and he's like, oh my god, look at you. I mean, at least you don't look 75 or 95 like me.

What was, I'm definitely like, oh yeah, you're per hat. So, yeah, my hat, my purse. And Bethany tells us, Sunnia's fashion sense is a delightful combo of Lyona, Ivana, and Falcon Crest. Alright. So the Bethany goes, so you know, you remember that clay thing? Remember that clay thing with Barbara?

We don't know the clay thing. We don't know the clay thing. So I texted her, I was going to be late and then did you a flashback of Bethany, they were saying, I texted her, I was was gonna be late. That was it. You know what I was gonna be 15 minutes late so I go in there and then like Barber's there and then she's like oh my god look Barber's there. And Barber's like hi um you're not late but I am late and I text you I was gonna be late.

No but you're not late. Yeah actually early because now when else is here But Bethany's pet peeve is what she tries to be fashionably late and she's extremely early instead Yeah, so um, yeah, so uh, so they the women the women were all showed up like an hour and a half after Bethany and then They're all there. We see this in this flashback and Bethany's like well, you, you know I gotta go home. I gotta finish that's really great. I gotta do the trip You know and we go but you just got here It's like no you just got here. I've been here for now and a half Well, you seem pretty angry for someone who just walked in the door

Let me guys time to watch sleepy time Let me guess time to watch sleepy time Do you know she's really called decorating the tree? All right, here's my speech Welcome to my free. It's the time here. Will you take away our dinner? Little plastic pumpkin and you say you can't The cock-ass shut up to about As we all know Christmas is the time of year where you settle in and you watch scary movies about Santa Claus appearing in your dreams and terrorizing you. So, I'm about to think like whatever, whatever.

You know what? I'm constantly having you spend her about my parenting style. I don't care when she goes there, why does she care when I get there? Why is it such a big deal? Why is it such a big deal? Look, why do you care? Why is this? Why is this the thing that's bothering you so much? Bethany was an opinion on everything and everyone. Okay. And you know, like, I don't even

think that in that flashback we saw the way I didn't even say anything about Bethany's parenting style. She just was like, Oh, you have to leave already. And you know, I'm Bethany's like, I gotta finish my treat my tree. How about you schedule your tree trimming on a different night than your shooting? Yeah. Oh, and then some you're like, oh, you know why? Because she's on her throne. So now Sonia, now Sonia's in trouble. So all she's going to say is, what a diva, my bright cabaret. Just make everybody fucking crazy. Exactly. And so, so Doren does rehashing the fact that Luan said, I'll do what I want on my cabaret.

And then Sony is complaining about being called manic. And Beth is like, oh my god. You know what? Like, once in a while what's happening? What's going on? I'm like, we're gonna have an issue. We're gonna have an issue in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in're like, she's saying, I'm manic, this is me. I've been like this my whole life. I was literally born with metal straws as nasal canals. It's amazing. You know, that's why I can't cut through the thing at the airport.

You girls wonder why I just lie down on that belt and let him take me through. I mean, it's not like I don't take off my panties first. And my record is like, shut up, son, yeah. Jesus Christ. I was just like, I think it's gonna be a good trip I do. You know, you know, I think it's just gonna be very relaxing. I think it's gonna say sober. I think I'll stay sober. I'm sure no one's gonna do a face plant on the dining room floor.

Yeah, you know what? There's nothing that Luane could do this surprise me like, uh, you know, she could put a gobo ladder for herself on the Empire State Building. Like seriously, she could literally sit on my face and shit on me okay she could build a kukuklock and pop out of it every hour on the hour like I don't know she could pick up like Robert Goulet, Binkus Ghost, and pop out of baby Goulet okay like there's literally nothing she can be she can invent the next post it now like literally like she could literally like get on to the stage and say I'm gonna askamaya wina and then I like turns out

She's really the usmall and it mean a truck it'd be like crazy, but I believe it. I believe it Like if she turned out to me like JFK junior like seriously alive at Q Riley I would totally not even be surprised Yeah, like if she was just like playing like the biggest joke of all onto Carol I'd be into it back So dark. So she's like, you know, I gotta, I'm gonna be like, because I gotta speak in the case when I write. And to end is a kid's television. So now it's like time, it's like the packing, packing for Miami montage. So Tinsley's like trying to zip up her luggage. And then Bethan is not actually packing.

She's just making her assistant pack or just, like, what's the matter there trying to, like, stuff everything in. And Bethan is, like, looking at all her options and her closet. She's like, yeah, so what do you think about that? That pink baby's who'd up there. And the assistant's like, well, I wanted to fit it in, but, you know, it's the bag is pretty, like, stuck.

And I think she's just like, they make it happen. OK? Yeah. Make it happen. Power move, all right? Okay, then Lou Ann is talking to her probation officer's voicemail, but the music they're playing, okay? And we say this every week, but any other show it'd be like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

It would be like sad dramatic music. Like here's Paul Lou Ann talking to her probation. I thought this show, this show's like, Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant I'm just letting you know that I'm going to Miami with some of my best girlfriends. So if you try to visit me unexpectedly, which I'm sure you wouldn't do because that would be rather rude. I'll be away. So just to reiterate, I count as the when, I'm letting you, my probation officer, know my whereabouts, and if you miss me, it is your fault, not mine. I've got one question for you, probation officer. What is this, jobs Bonnie?

Um, ma'am, did you want to place an order or... Oh, you shut up, my child. Oh, you shut up, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. Oh, my child. She's got keep it quiet. She's got So so they so they fly down to Miami and their baggage claim and the way it's like oh Look at that our luggage is waiting for us. Oh Well our luggage unlike my probation officer announced when it was coming down. Did you hear that girl? She said, don't luggage at one. You know, what are the perks of being a cabaret star is that they actually send your luggage down something they call a carousel. You know, just like the music. So they go outside and there's two big giant cars waiting for him and the man's like, wow, are these our cars?

Well, let's just split the cars then and suddenly he's like, you like the white one, you like the black one, he likes the white one, you like the black one. I really don't know, what are black, which one am I gonna take? Yeah, she's like, she's like, I'm a little gassy, but not as much as usual girls. So, so Tinsley has like, basically has like, found a car that she wants. And she's like, oh, I think this will be my car. And I was like, whoa, Tinsy, you gotta get out of this car. I'm gonna have other people sitting here instead.

It's not that we don't like you. It's just that there are people who are better than you that we wanna have in here, okay? You're kicking me out of a car? Yes, that's exactly what's happened, okay? Spent decided already. She's like, ah, it's been decided ready This car is for mothers only okay

This car is not for non-mothers and Bob Ross So so so so they're in there and so I'm just like trying to get in the car And then she's like okay Ramona hold my luggage for a second She's like what are you trying to get in the car and then she's like, okay, Ramona hold my luggage for a second She's like, what are you doing? Stay here stay in the car. No, I just farted it's still in my jeans. Hold on a second So then they arrive at this gorgeous house and well this huge house and Wow, you really downgraded it there Ronnie. You're like I was gonna call it gorgeous, but just because it's huge, I mean it's gorgeous. You're a huge only. Yeah, I went through a whole thing. I wasn't really sure.

I was like, wow, everything's so white. I thought it was gorgeous. I was like, I'm sure. It just made me nervous, you know, because I like, I'm like PK, you know, I'll eat some chips and then just wipe it on a countertop. Like, I was imagining myself living there and suddenly this white House just looks like

the set of like, what's that movie where the guy traps everybody and makes them get out of a puzzle? Jake said, I mean, I saw. Jake said, yeah, it looks like the set of saw, you know, because it's like there's just grime all over the wall. Yeah, I was like, I love it. By the way, we should also, I didn't really occur to be till now, but I think it probably goes without saying that clearly Sonia had about two or three cocktails on the flight down

to Miami, right? Yeah, two kilos of cocktails. Yeah, like she definitely was like, she was already like gaming at this point. Yeah, she was already cracked out of her mind. Yeah, so they arrive at the Le Vandong. Because we see the difference between Sonia. When Sonia is drinking, she's kind of the end of the night Sonia, like we saw tonight where she's falling on the ground

just slurring and screaming. But this is dancing around Lord of the Dance Sonia. Yeah, Hudson River Dance. So basically, so they get there and Ramona's like, how nice is it to be in the warm weather and out of New York? Ramona just ran through this house squealing. Like, I've never seen Ramona this happy. He's like, oh my god, I'm never leaving here. Who's like, half of my dreams? What is that? Oh my god, that's water over there. Is that a wall? That's a cloud. That's a cloud over there. Who's like to have to my dreams? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH This is the photos of this home. I was like, whoa, so excited about it. But in person, it blows the photos away. It's sort of like when people see me and they're like,

whoa, I've seen the photos of you, but in person, you're way more ageless than I ever would have thought, Avery. And I have to say, no, I'm not Avery. I'm actually her mother, but we look like sisters, okay? It's like looking in Xerox copy of a 20-year-old except from a 3D printer now it's real okay so so Luann's just walking around like just the star in her head has finally met like the star on the ground she's like she's always imagined you you know. Oh, well, look at that. I was mad at nice, Sunset.

Oh, and the pool. Who doesn't love a pool? Ha, ha, ha. Oh, look, Ramona. They have noodles. Ha! She'll be happy. What is this?

Noodle Vani? All right, I'll work on that. I'll keep working on that. Noodle Vani. I'm kidding. So then we got a commercial commercial and really, you know, Bravo finally got it right. You know, for a few years now, Bravo's been trying to like,

you know, they clearly get paid by these sponsors to promote their shit and they put some housewives in it or whatever and they do these stupid commercials. And earlier this season we had that travesty when Durrinda and Sonia were trying to promote the hustle. But this time they got it right, which is that they did a commercial of with Durinda and Durinda, Sonia, Jazeal Bryant and Karen Huger all at a cocktail party where they were celebrating Godzilla.

I know, it's like Carol the movie But this party commercial they're throwing a party for Godzilla I mean this shit was so stupid and funny. I loved it. By the way, Godzilla shares many of the same letters as Jusela, just so you know. Yeah, I know, Katie. Jiz and Godzilla. I mean, Jusela really is a winner of a name. Yeah, so they're celebrating it and like, Dorenda shows up in like a dinosaur outfit and like, hey, yeah, cause you know, you know that

with this commercial, the basically production was like, okay, we don't have a budget for wardrobe So just come with some options and different things like I'm a dine-sue Yeah, everybody knows that's it. I know Halloween is the best time Then Karen Huger shows up with like a cocktail. And she just like blows blue flames over it. And she goes, honey, Godzilla is not the only one with skills.

Like, Godzilla has no skills. Godzilla is big. And just walks around. Yeah, Godzilla is basically John, you know, that's why that's why Dorenda is the filming when he knows how to deal with him. But Durinda in that costume was actually so cute because at like later part, a lot of part of the commercial they're like, let's take a selfie with Godzilla, so the woman go to the window and then Godzilla puts his eye up to the window and they take a selfie and Durinda's like, it's just like big silly smile on her face and a dinosaur costume. It's just like big silly smile on her face and a dinosaur costume

Movie just just out of just to support this commercial. Yeah, just because they finally did a good commercial You know, although I still love the one of that movie little or the one that they had like a little mini Oh, yeah, yeah, like a mini mini that was actually really great. Yes So this commercial well done bravo Bravo, nice work. Learn your lesson, Rebel Wilson. Yeah. Hey, we like that Rebel Wilson commercial too. We support that one. We support that one in this house, all. So Sonia and Robona are having drinks now.

And Sonia's like, can you believe that Godzilla? Do you want to say, hey, yo. Do you? I know, don't you think Godzilla's like Tim Fleet's with the way? I think Godzilla probably has a baby by now, right? So the Godzilla's back in the back of the neck make it a bit to the fire am I right God's illers like miserable Oh I'm fucking miserable

My I Gajolos is my threat the door. I just like runs windfalls on the floor. Gladly like five buildings Mama god says like now you always bit my little cryptid So they're all walking around the house and some's just already getting shit-faced on whatever welcome drinks they gave them and turned into the grass. Sony's waiting, you know, right, right? And then, uh, Tinsley starts gossiping with Barbara and Sony and she's like, Oh, other day I was out and I saw her, he doobin' and he was branching with Ramona! Tinsley, you're not gonna find a baby daddy if you're going the same part that Harry

Dubin is in. Or maybe you will actually. Maybe it was Mother Doth or not or something. I was like, I'm ready to hit the town, Tinsley. I hear there's a new popular spot called God's your like cocktail. Let's go there and I love that they have the new butique Yeah, that's not funny that they that's where they saw him the new butique Why wasn't sure if it was a place called new butique

Because it could have been like a reference to you know miss new booty remember or but it probably wasn't a new beauty. Now that you say that, yeah. I was cracking up. So this, oh god. Ow. Sorry. So then, Sassana said, I got a muscle spasm in my heart. What if I had a heart attack?

What's happening over there? What's happening? I thought I really was like, ow, my heart. But I think it's because I'm trying to sit up straight and my body doesn't know what to do with it. My body's like, what are you doing? My muscles are all spasmin, I'll over my chest. Listen if you have a heart attack This is a great way to go talking about this episode am I right?

Truly yeah, so talk about her and he died right after right after the Durinda as Godzilla commercial So they're talking about Harry doobin and Sonia She also now Sonia is like this we can see this is triggering Sonia because she's acting weird And she also like adopts a strange accent all of a sudden cuz she goes Can he just stay away from my girlfriend? Well, see that what was that again Sonia girlfriend What good friends Are you saying girlfriends with a British accent or do you actually have friends who are goals?

Let me tell you have you ever seen an eagle kiss a seagull have you ever seen a goal kiss an eagle? So son you're like well, you know, I just can't be mad at Harry because I love Harry You know the thing is I just don't know if I'm allergic to a sperm. And Barbara's like, all right, stop with that already. All right, enough with that. Let's go through. Harry, I can really use my hammer right now. So, so now we go at the house tour,

and there's like this giant thing of orchids. And everyone's like, whoa, Do you have a god know that comes every other day to water and they're like yeah every other day like whoa That's crazy. What a vacation? What are trying to be alive? God knows that comes every single day. I can't believe it. Okay And something is like with this bit housewives off of the gardener Which I love because real housewives is actually based on desperate housewives. Did you guys know that? Three-o-leash-of-version.

There you go, everybody. Continue on with your day. So Ramona is like, whoa, we'll look. Definitely over that moment. Ramona's got to have the best rent. Hey, I'm a tronon Whoa, if I can have this rule, I'd be so excited! We're not just walking around the house doing her crazy shrug. She's like crazy out of it, just shrugging everywhere. She is so excited.

Yes, they're all looking and like, because all the bedrooms are amazing, everyone is largely happy and there's like this little sort of like annex guest room thing, guest house. So, Tinsy's like, like oh I like it over there. I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna sleep over there and the man's like oh Really that's where barb and I are gonna sleep so get out of there Dusty Get out of there wall my legs. I don't think I can have you sleeping so close to me. I would have a hard time falling asleep with the sound of wind coming out of your uterus. I love to sleep next to you, Tinsley, but unfortunately I can't sleep at the smell of egg jerky in the room.

Unfortunately, I have allergies and I'm afraid that your desperation would set them off. What is this desperation? Vani? Oh, that doesn't work either. What is this bunkel of Vani? What is this? Eggs Vani? It's better.

So Ramona is just freaking ass. Like, holy moly, we arrived. This is my room. Whoa Just bouncing off all the walls and then Ramona goes see the room that I want I want that room because here's what I like about it. It's facing and Dorena goes the water We are like see the world of Ramona, okay? It's not just a real Mona thing Like she never anything. Yeah, I like when Dorena starts getting mad and she literally turns her head all the way around like this.

She's like, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's why there's that saying, stop and taste the water. Um. So, uh, she's like, you know what? She's like, but I'll take the math to sweet if I share with Sonya. Oh my god. Okay. So this is at least still the same. Yeah, so then Dorinda's also thinking about doing going to the guest room, guest house, but... No, Barbara and I are going in there.

Okay, that's fine. I'm not mad at all. I'm just gonna blink a lot and I'll get drunk. Oh, yeah, you later. I'll see you later. Have fun. Yeah, you know how Latinac letting that actually like keep doing this It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I'm like, I'm doing this man She goes here and I'm fine Because she's crazy about the room. But it's not like she's a bad room in the house. I mean, there's not a fish room So then we have the arrival of the most important supporting player we've seen on Bravo in quite a long time. A man who deserves a full salute for his commitment to his job and for surviving

one of the most intense experiences a man can survive, which is a drunk real housewives experience. That's Tage. Tage the, Tage the, the, the Villa staff member. Oh my God. This poor guy, Tage. You know what it's like? What's your name? He's like, Tage, she's like, all right, Jack.

Come on. So he needs to do, give my thug. It's for you. Help me. and so he goes to help Ramona with her yearly unpacking of the luggage And so he's like you're gonna get sucked in this no way out Andrew No way I think we all were like no Tage quit now go lead become an uber driver. Don't do this. Tage. It's not gonna get better Wait, now go lead, become an Uber driver. Don't do this, Tasia. It's not gonna get better. You're an Uber driver.

So, he goes off with Ramona. And I think at this point, I was just thinking, oh, it's gonna be like, she's gonna tell him just put the clothes up, whatever. So now we see, we then cut to Sonya. And she's just propped herself up against the wall. She's just like, her husband, she's like, fully sideways. And she's like, her hands are just like, fully sideways.

And she's like, okay, so what time is dinner again? They're like, seven. She's like, okay, good. So that's seven courses at 12 p.m. Got it, got it. And then the hairdresser guy comes in and he's like, do you wanna blow out? He's like, blow out. Hello, sir. he's like, um, she want to blow out. She's like, um, blow out.

Hello sir. Yeah. And he's like, no, do you want to blow out or not? I'm like, can you say she's like stumbling all over his cell stores. This is obviously gay guy. And he's like, I need a drink. Yeah.

He needs to get a drink. He's like, this is too much. So then, um, Luana is kind of like, well, you know, being back here in Florida, it's almost as bad as being back in the fish room. So many memories just come back. Lastly, I just hope I don't hear a cat meowing, because that's what set this whole thing off. Last time, am I right? Was your cat, Barbara? Anyway, I'm just gonna do yoga, meetings, whatever takes to navigate the drama of this household. Whatever I can do to

stay sober, I'm just gonna take a swim and be the cab race star that I am and just hope it's safe to go in the water. Jon's body, it's called back. It's called back. It's something in water. Whatever it takes, thank God, Bermuth doesn't have alcohol. Am I right? So, Ramanis just still on Cloudmine. So she'sona is like, so she's, Rolona's just still on cloud mind. So she's in their retage and he's just standing there staring at her. He's trying to help her unpack, you know, but she's a mess. And she's like, well, you know what? I'm so glad to help me because last time I hurt my foot and I couldn't even pack. Oh, what are you thinking this one? Oh my gosh, orange. And that's, goes with it because blue and orange

is the environment. My right. This one shows my gosh orange and that's goes with it cuz blue and orange is the environment my bright This one shows my legs. I got really good legs. What on my legs? You like my back? My god This was really good for my butt. I really like this one and this poor guys just like what the hell and Ramona's up there in silver jeans Yes, and it's clear that like someone told you know the feedback has finally gone to Ramona That she's always a monster to the people who work at these places You know she she just gives in their luggage and says go unpack this for me So she's I think trying to be like look I'm gonna wants her okay He's helping me but I'm being friendly and fun. We're having a great time. Okay, cuz I'm wearing blue and orange and it matches the fine, okay, it's like I don't really don't think Tej really cares about Okay, because I'm wearing blue and orange and it matches the fine. Okay.

And it's like, I really don't think Tej really cares about what you're wearing or about how they make your foot and column. Yeah, they make you're supposed to tip the guy. Remonement, not trying to be his girlfriend. You know, so then Sonia is in her closet. And she's like, she's with Tinzy or the bathroom. But she's in the bedroom. Yeah.

She's like, Oh my God, look, I see one drink, and then I see another drink there. And Tinsley goes, it's like that. Oh no, Sonya's like that game. She goes to suck that game, respawn a buggy, and Tinsley's like, oh no, punch buggy. Ha ha ha ha. Tinsley just gets a trauma.

Because you know, Tinsley and Dale would just drive to the Hamptons, and Tinsley would just randomly go, love bug, boom! Oh, my! So you just punches Tinsley and the Vag. There. Why'd you do that? Well, you said punch buggy, so I punched your buggy Vag. So Sonia's like, well, now I have, she goes punch buggy. Now I have one large drink. She mixes the drinks together.

She's like, I spotted drink here. I spotted drink there. I spotted drink here. She's like, big of a boss of flowers. Here's another drink. No, she's trying to put a pillowcase down her throat. So now, later on, now Sonia has found Tej. And she's like, okay, Raj, and he's like, it's Tej. She's like, okay, Taj, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna unpack. He's like, oh, please. God.

And she goes, and I'll tell you another thing. Jackal, and he's like, my name is Taj. No, he goes, it's like and she goes and I'll tell you another thing Jackal and he's like my name is Taws no because it's taged. It's like it rhymes with page and she's like well tell you another thing I'll tell you another thing Peter that new and better get off her high Tell you that she's a diva and here's some shoes. Oh look there's some underwear who puts some underwear the shoes Am I right my right Robert look at this look at this is not funny look So I'm thinking this is Sony is going so crazy already that ever is you know when you go on trips And there's always one drunk person and they're too drunk and then all the other friends like oh god now we have to deal with this person

and then nobody gets this drunk because the other person kind of ruined it you know what I mean so I thought that's what was gonna happen like she's so drunk that everyone else is gonna like kind of chill for the night but no Derinda is down there completely bombed off her ass I don't know how Derinda got drunk so fast so fast But she's down there with like a red face and her hair is insane. She's like brushed her hair like kind of in her face I think you make this is how you make a drink Hey, right. You just go to the tree dress drink She don't know what you're dealing with this week and do you know? She starts pouring rum into a glass and it'll serve her there and it just goes wow

And then she goes now I know a little bit extra lemon and she takes a lime one and she squeezes lime into it. There we go some classic Florida lemon I'm cut back to Sonya just in that guy's face and she's like, so is it taste, taste, taste or a Peter? Come on, she's snapping in his face. And then she's like, and you know what, hey, I lost my shoe, I lost my shoe, I'm better tell, where's my shoe? It's like it's in your bag.

And then Ramona comes in and she's like, Tage, Tage, no, it's in your bag and then Ramota comes in and most like Tage Tages, no, it's not Tage It's Raul No Sonia's Tage no his name is Ronald Reagan Jr. He's from a very important family, okay? That's right in your underwear So during the back to during and she's like, alright, it's like, good, good, good. And she finally finishes and she's like, and then basically, I like the little special valley, this much valley splash. Yeah, just a little bubble, okay. And we cut

back upstairs and Sonia's just like harassing Tage some more, just like dancing. And then we come back down to like Dorenda making, like this is the most terrifying moment of mixology I've ever seen because she's making this drink and the waiter's like Oh no she's gonna make me taste it right and she's like here we go it's your most ready grandma's drink is almost ready Thanks I mean taste it Mike falls over dad And then there's nine little Indians. And then it comes back to Sony going, change your name! Change your name!

She goes, what am I going to wear at a night? I need something to hide my belly. Oh, you got a little belly too, Robert. And Luke comes in from swimming like, so relaxed, what are you doing? Sony, are you already wasted? We just got here. She's three sheets to the wind. Oh, it's gonna be a long night. Luar, this is Rolando, okay? And Luma's like, oh, he's already sweating, the poor thing.

So then they're doing their hair and stuff and getting ready for dinner and so I'm just like I'm talking to Tincy about how Ramona is making out with Harry cuz they're telling Tyrande he just came in and she's just dancing with Tyrande and they're both wasted and then you hear Ramona from the other room she's like I was not making out with Harry that's a boy Yeah, so then Bethany derives down seriously. Wow, nice. Oh, cool. Huh, like what's happened? What's going on?

What did you talk about? Nice, how happy to see you. Sungye is out of her mind. And Bethany's like, all right, you know what? Can I tell you an interesting detail? I've been to three states today and I smell like garbage. Like seriously? Like a dumpster.

All right, just set me up. I make me be best of fire. Whoa, this is sick. Whoa, this is sick. This is sick. This is sick. I was like I don't smell I don't smell anything Well, I guess I said something about you too, huh? So So then that is like, ah, I hear screaming. I hear screaming up there was like what's going on? And someone getting mad at us is it? Is it some some but for someone? Someone that got a mule up there like what's happening? What's happening with going on? Is that real? Yeah?

This just says that real and Barbara's like, oh, it's real So Bethany goes out there and Sony is just screaming and yelling and she's like, Barbara You're a freaking space kidder space space Cut Cut! Shit!

So, so good. So good. You know what? I'm not surprised that Sony is at an 11? I'm surprised that you had another woman who would make out with Harry Dubin, okay? Am I right? What's going on? What's going on?

I think it literally killed me now. Like my wall's up. And then Sonya decides she's going to pee in the bath tub. She's like, can I give a shit? And Tim's like, no! I want to take a bath in there! And they're all like, oh, that's cute. Tim's Lee wants to do something. Then they got to Ramona.

Ramona's making, doing her makeup. And she's like, what, she does her makeup. She's very serious. And she starts putting makeup on her boobs. She's like, whoa, this will look like my decalatage. Look a lot bigger, okay? So then Durinda is catching Bethany up and she's like, you know what? Yeah, but only if I really think that Harry you been I will Test that that seems like that's too many vaginas. Yeah, this room is fine. It's fine But that's a lot of vaginas. You know look you got a hand it to Sun you Sun just the first to go with Tom

She was the first to be with Harry. Sonia's a curator of CAC. All right, she found her all these men. She found them all. Yeah, yeah, she did. By the way, Sonia was also the first one to be doing Cabaret. Just so you know, Cabaret Lesk. Oh, that's true. Although actually though, I don't know if that predates when Lou Ann came down the stairs at Jill's Heron's party dressed in like showgirl I was like, Happy birthday! Oh, that's true. Yeah, that was first. That was first.

Yeah. So he is the first one that actually did a show. Yeah. So now it's dinner time. And Sonia is now just like hanging off of Tage. She's hugging Tage. And there's like a lady named Cecilia. And she's hugging Cecilia.

And then she's like, oh, come on. Group hug with rose married to wit and John F Kennedy And the port the maid is cracking up. She thinks this is hilarious and Tennessee's like you have sauce on your head Sonia think I did it on purpose Sunday is just wearing this like I was like a blazer with nothing under, and she just saw your chicken cutlets,

stuck to her boobs. Yeah, I just had to. Yeah. And, uh, Tinsley assures us that Sundae's not on drugs, it's just drunk Sonia, and she knows the difference. And, uh, Sundae is like, Where's Beth and he's time for dinner? And we're about to say,

she'll come when she's ready, okay? She's Beth and she's a power woman, she'll come and she's ready, okay? She's bathin', she's a power woman. She'll come and she's ready. Is anything good? I don't believe in that. I don't believe in it. Oh my God, I love mushrooms. It's family style and she takes a whole bowl

of mushrooms to start eating them. Like that's for everyone's own. Yeah, she literally has a service too. I don't believe in that. Look look I shrank and now all the plates are so much bigger no the way I'm like Sonia son son you want to play you want to play and it's a little bit harder than alcohol. Am I right? Am I right? And the way I do that thing where she gets like, oh, she sits up really straight,

she's like, oh, anyway, what about Tinder tomorrow? Dorenda, you're inviting guys because I've got guys coming. One is harder than the one before him. And she's like trying, she's getting really snobby, and I love when she did this in Morocco, but she She's getting really snobby and I love when she did this in Morocco But she's like getting really snobby about Sonya which I guess that she's getting smuddy but Sonya's being terrible You know, yeah, everyone's like everyone's right. Everyone like Ramon is also getting annoyed Ramon is keeping it in But she's like Ramon is being like very quiet and like she's got that real angry face up at like up at the front of the table You know, yeah, so she's just trying to focus on the mushrooms. Well, these mushrooms are delicious.

They actually, a lot of garlic, a lot of garlic and mushrooms. Just focus on the mushrooms, guys. So something you're like, what kind of guys you bringing to win? Cabaret, guys. Straight guys, you stuff, guys. Guys have already fucked. Yeah. I was like, oh.

Yeah, it's like, you don't want to trust me to bring over some very nice boys and she goes, no, because you usually fuck my guys. Her mother just goes, the mushrooms are delicious. Yeah, so I was like, I can ask your mother the same question. Um, you fuck in Ramona, you fuck in, because you say you don't fuck my guys, you just kiss them. And the one goes, what are you saying, Sonya? She goes, I'm saying, throw me a guy, throw me a guy,a she's I'm saying Throw me a guy throw me a guy your guys trying to throw me a guy. Yeah, she's like He just throw me a guy the heaven kisser me that with

Yeah, and whoa she's like Sonya. I'm not gonna send you a guy that I'm dating. Oh, honey You made out with my guys and Luanne fucked my guys Honey you made out with my guys and Luanne fucked my guys All right, Sonja now you're really pissing me off We're shakes a lot cuz I've learned out of a lot of patients being a cabaret star You fuck all my guys you just made that with Harry and Durin to go you did You did you did you were there I was there and I saw you there cuz you were there too is it an amputee And sonny goes oh my god Take it to the wire Jesus remote hold your legs

And Durand it tells us I feel bad And Durin tells us I feel bad Sonia is like of course you do So she's like I feel bad for Sonia, you know respect for her past relations kids. She plays this Fluze Good thing catch doesn't got down in a mind a Most last trip, but she does care about the guys all right, you know when she gets a couple of gallons of gregos in this talk, the pain comes out and like cut the dirt. I mean, just so you know, being like, you don't touch the Morgan mushrooms Ramona.

She's like, we dated, we dated 30 years ago and women keep coming But they didn't like well why you keep what are you here 30 years ago on? Luan goes oh my gosh You really live in the past woman and I say this as someone who sings songs from 45 years ago every single night And some he's like well, he wasn't just my friend, he was my boyfriend, he wasn't my friend with benefits like, top daggers, Tina! It's like, oh no. You two are living in my backyard, bitches.

And Ramona's like, she's francing, and Ravens think you took this guy from me, took that guy from me? Well, she's had a lot of guys, come on. You're supposed to do. We've got to move cities. Curator of quark. So then, yeah, so Sonya's just like ranting.

And then Dorenda's just eating and she's doing that thing where she's like, I agree with her. I agree with her. You should have gone there, Luan. You should have gone there. I agree. I agree. I'm like, oh, this is not going to go well with Dorenda.

And then of course, Luan here is that. I'm like, what are you talking about Durrinda? Because Durrinda is trying to get her back. Give her a rest, are you kidding me? What do you know? You know nothing about it. You know nothing, Durrinda Medley. And Durrinda is like,

Well, if you sleep, if I sleep, if you sleep, if I sleep, I don't know what she sleep with Lily will have in David. And son he's like, I introduced you to him. Why would you sleep with him? So I don't live in the past. Well, that's convenient for you as an ad. So it is convenient for her. So then Dorenda, Dorenda is basically like, you know, the way she takes him with her own business and you know, she should, she should file the girl. I would never touch something.

Someone that someone else already had. You should file girl code, you know, and then you should tell, she bases like saying, Llan, doesn't have Carol Radswell to yell it anymore She got go quiet rads of ill she just has to transfer it onto Derinda now Well cuz Derinda doesn't even care Derinda's just jumping on her cuz she still wants to yell it Luhan Yes, and she's still mad about this Giovanni shit, so of course She's gonna like just jump on this fight. So she's like don't get involved. Don't you tell me Gonna like just jump on this fight so she's like don't get involved. Don't you tell me Take it's old news to Rinda don't get involved Don't tell me what I want to say I say whatever I fucking want there's like a lot of proclamations of like impairment I'm like don't tell me what to do don't tell me not to get involved don't get involved with I want to say

I'll say whatever I want to say yeah You're not the master me, but then Durinda does my favorite thing when Durinda gets shit-based in mad and she starts shooting at the air with tiny guns BOOM BOOM Can she and me what you say? I just spit on her lips. She actually has like a little a ball of spit that has appeared on her Live and I will send you a lawyer's letter and the lawyers there is gonna say you're a slut who slept with Shonius men and you didn't pass in my streams when I asked for them and Ramona ate them all down I'm not happy about it And suddenly it's like I asked you a ham to leave you out of her show and I was like why are you getting involved now?

I mean you're best advocate Really? Oh really? Really? Oh, you want to start like that? Maybe you better take it, take it down a notch now and let me just say Ha ha ha ha Wait till she hears my jaws of ony line. Oh, I guess I just said it So Sony's like I mean the way I'm

like well now now I see this through so barrage and I realize I don't ever want to be like this again until about six weeks after my show with a gallon of mimosas but until then see you then guys so Sony is like I went to your rehearsal and you're a diva I not a Diva, I'm just a supremely talented woman who deserves many things in life now. You shut the fuck up, Louie! Don't talk to me like that! No, you don't talk to me! Get off your high-horses! Don't you tell me not to talk to you! Because you know what?

Don't tell me not out of talk to you! I'm not on a high horse, and if anything, I survive being on a high camel. I'm leaving. This is ridiculous. Bye. Then leave. So Drain is like, you know what, bad friend? This girl is brilliant by your side.

She's been even a bell of friends in me. She doesn't want to hear it because she's done with you, Shown. Yeah, I'm like, no, you girls are like wasted and she's sober and she's also newly sober. And you guys are just like fully like just like airing like these old grievances and just like attacking her like. I mean, I don't think you have to be a Luand fan to be like yeah I would probably leave the table to she's just like she did the right thing I mean my god so yeah I mean Bethany comes in yeah Bethany comes in she's like oh my god like I don't even know what's going on I'm like zero dark thirty in this situation like what what do you see

as Dr. Somia I see Dr. R I know the situation. I don't know what's going on Okay, uh, they're mad at Lou and okay, okay, I'm here. I get it and I don't see zero dark 30 So I was very upset that I didn't understand zero dark 30 is not really about that at all It's about people try like capturing a salmon panlade and like Laden like rating that that that not captured like really like rating his compound and like doing like a nighttime airlift but it's not about that yet the metaphor just like really worked it was like okay like it was basically like Bethany just like helicoptered in and during that my favorite was like Derenna's brutal honesty. She's like, listen, you're too late.

We're too drunk. You can't catch up with us. Just go save yourself. Save yourself because we're going down in flames. I still got more material to take. These things, these girls think that they're safe. I'm going to take them down one after another right now. And then Tinsley is like, well,

Sony was just trying to explain something and she was very on point. And Barbara's just looking like her. You'd be fucking crazy. She's like, all right, she fell to tack. That's why she looked at me. All right, you know what, you know what, Barbara, listen. I know that you're the leader of the Cabaret Cult,

but you gotta take off your constant Cabaret goggles. All right, because you're construction goggles. How are you construction goggles? Ugh. Ugh. I was like, I don't understand these weird like, dings that she just like piled into the sentence. I think that Barbara was just like,

she felt attacked us, she left. It was a pretty like normal thing. Okay, you know what? You know what? How about you take off your hot hat? Okay, and put on like, how about you put on, how about you put on like a, like a non-cap-ray loving,

loving, loving cap by, by skinny, I'm gonna work on it. I'm gonna work on it, okay? But just do that. like how about you put on like a like a like a non cap ray loving loving love and cap by I'm gonna work on it I'm gonna work on it okay just do that that's enough out of you Harry hard hat and then Barbara's like alright so she stays quiet and then that's nice like you know what I can't take it anymore because she's constantly thinking she's ahead of everything and she can get everything she wants you know what I'm gonna go say to her face I'm gonna say to her face. I'm just gonna say here. I'm going to a room and I'm gonna say to her face She storms off to Lou Ann's little Little house or whatever that she's a

And she's like, okay, you know what? Llan I'm here to talk and I'm not here to listen. Oh, oh, oh, oh, right. Oh, okay. I'm not attacking Why not why not Everyone else seems to be Well, you know what you deserve it. You know what you deserve. Oh really? Why is that because I happen to get luggage before everyone else you got your luggage at the same time as everyone else? Oh Wow, wow bringing me down a bag way to go Psych listen this thing has gone to your head the way Ianchers. No, it's gone to your heads, not mine. It doesn't go to my head, because I'm in a different place in life, okay?

See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. No, I just happen to be a star, and when you're a star, you know, I handle criticism. No, I'm literally talking about like you saying this is going to your head. I don't even hear what you're saying. It's like I almost like I can't understand non-capherate people anymore. Am I right? Am I guess, I guess, I guess, I almost like I can't understand non-capriate people anymore. Am I right? Am I right, air? Listen, Marcel, Marcel, if you want to talk with your hands, you can go out on the sidewalk.

Now, when you're ready, don't 321 hit a boy sing, sing a song, make it last. I'm going to kill you, I'm going to fucking kill you, low-end. In fact, if you asked the ultimate philosophical question of the season. Why would you think we'd want to go to capray five times in one month, okay? So, well, I'm just doing me. I'm inviting you to see me being me. And if you don't want to come, you don't have to come, baby sleeping watcher. It's like, well, you don't get it. You don't get it. You don't like... Well, I don't get Sonia wasted attacking me at the table, me!

When I've been nothing but mildly supportive of her on a few days of the year. Listen, who was there with a dustpan and a broom? Depends to sweep Sonya up every time she was a drunk mess on the floor after being dumped by some billionaire? I mean, no, it wasn't me but I watched. Wow this is all so distressing. If I were to miss a check in with my probation officer, we clearly would know that it's because of this distressing situation that you all have caused and not of any delinquency on my part. Correct? We can agree on that. Right America? You don't get her. She's right. You're running around saying she's on something. Just go

talk to her. Say it to her. She's, oh, talks right now. She's right. You're running around saying she's on something. Just go talk to her. Say it to her She's oh, talks right now. She's not in any way to talk to yeah, which is true Yeah, she was like I tried talking to her, but she's not in any state and it just cuts the Sony going Oh That's it was so funny. I rewound that ten times. Me too. As she has hit it for years, I'm a fucking torn ass! So then Luan never wanted to be over Germanicos. I feel like barricading myself away, but there is no safe place in this house. There isn't a house big enough to be safe.

Ain't no mountain high enough. Ain't no valley low enough. Alright, let me- When you were a kid, did you have a rag doll? A rag doll that would get drunk and yell at you and attack you And did you feel like barricading yourself away from that ragdoll with that ragdoll kept tearing down the barricades? Oh my god, so Let's see so Sonya is now falling asleep

The classic drunk girl thing where she just has her chin and her palm. Yeah, okay, this is my pick back and forth. And her mother's like, we're going out. Come on Sonia, you ready? Go out. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

But Tick. But then she was hurt. She's a her walk too early. I'm ready. Go out. I'm willing. go out willing ready April go out. I think it's like where are we going out to the bridal shop? Ramona by the way Ramona clearly has no plan. She's like making this up as she goes because she's like There's a new place. It's a place to go. We're gonna go to the We're gonna go to the place that's new when the is in the In the Florida. It's in the Florida

Yeah, every place up there and Victor Rintik you're gonna come out and it's like no Take bad brother Doesn't want me to go. Yeah, I can see you can see it all right You can say you don't want me to go. I don't care Ramona. And the Ramona just pauses and she's like, well, I have very important things to talk about with Tinsley. Tinsley and I are gonna catch up. Tinsley and Ramona are gonna have to catch up at that hot new bar called Marigill and Avery's. Marigill and Avery's. And so, uh, Tinsley'sany and Tinsley, Tinsley,

he's like, I'm not gonna be the mean girl. She's not invited. I'm not gonna go. So Ramona goes, all right. You want to come, Barbara? Barbara goes, now thank you. Well, this is happening. Bethany and Tinsley have like their hands over their face

and their eyes are bulging like, oh my god, this is so awkward. This is so awkward. I'm like, I don't think there's anything awkward about that. This is the least awkward thing that's happening at the table. I know. The things that don't even face them and the things that they get creeped out of her. So then, so I'm gonna just like, wakes up from her coma and she's like, I'm hot. I'm hot. I'm hot. So Bethany is like, okay, got to go to the vintage material. Got to sleep.

Just got to bed. Got to sleep. Got to bed. Got to bed. Got to sleep. Go to bed. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep You're not hot so there I'm gonna punch you So you said Sonia says knock you out. Sony says knock you out. And then she stands up and she's like, I'm really not you for boom. It's like she like something happens like the camera

wasn't totally on her, but I think that she was using the chair for leverage and the chair slid out behind her and she just falls flat on the table. And it just goes to continue. And then she lands flat on the floor. That was like glasstable to marble floor. Oh my god. Oh, it was amazing.

It really was. Well, that brings us to the end of the real housewives of New York City. Thank you guys so much for being with us on this live stream. This has been really fun. If you guys want to watch these videos and check out all of our videos, there's 40 hours of stuff up there. Go over to our patreon.com slash watch at crap ins. Be sure to go get your tickets for New York. It'll probably be sold out by tomorrow or so.

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