Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Unsafe At Any Speed Dating - Live from St. Louis

Episode Date: July 14, 2018

The ladies of RHONY go speed dating, and it goes about as miserably as you can expect. But at least we get to see sexpot Ramona in action. Come join us for a raucous, crazy show from St. Louis! If you want to see us live, be sure to get tix at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardy-Dowardy! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger! Just saying, okay! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Megan the Slayer Taylor. Anna got I love that banana Anderson. Susie going to the Tobin. Hava Nagila Weber. Ashley Savoni she don't take no baloney.

And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Kelly Grant, Vegrant Master. Give them hell. Miss Noel. The incredible edible Matthews Sisters, And Lizzie Drucker, A Faaan Motherfuck I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy, I've missed my face so much like I've been singing. Yeah, I've been singing!

I've been singing! You guys turned out, oh my god, thank god. There's one last day of listening to us, bag. I'm like, please, that person on Facebook, don't forget to buy tickets. I'm like, they're not gonna forget. Yeah. Hi. Hi, St. Louis.

Oh my God, you guys are so cute. Thank you for all the shirts. You guys look amazing tonight. Amazing. Where's that bag of edible things? I think it was this over here. Girl, you know I'm coming back up and downstairs. I was like, we'll just leave it.

Someone beforehand at the VIP thing. Was it you who gave us some butter cookie situation? Goody butter cake cookies from like Schlacks Baker or something like that? Amazing. Where did these come from? That is amazing. That is some amazing shit. Also, you guys already we see some amazing t-shirts and things like we had some very strong

Luand Eliceps representation in the audience here. We have Luand Tunis. We have four t-shirts that say I've been traveling, I been to prison We have we have a gong necklace We already posted it on Instagram and already Patricia Alchule has liked it I was expecting that necklace to be so polite, but it was I guess it's all right by me now. Oh my goodness. Wow, St. Louis We're here. It looks so cute and St. Louis. Oh, thank you. Thanks for messing up my cute hair, I guess. Yeah, mess it up. Wow, St. Louis has been so cool. First of all, we got here last night and we learned that oddly enough there's armadillos here

You guys you should have seen Ben discovering Armadillo's. Yes. Oh, wait, we forgot to put our Uber driver on the list. Oh, here. Okay. We were going to put him on the list. Who's going to lie? And be like, I'm on the list.

They put me on the list. It's like a total lie. Never happened. But Ben, so this guy was like, yeah, I saw a dead armadillo and Ben's like, armadillo? I'm St. Louis, and he's like Googling it. Girl, that was a whole Uber device. That's crazy that you guys have armadillos.

I was not expecting that. Very, very exciting. We are so excited. I'm sorry to interrupt Ronnie while he's pouring his t-dos into his... Teamy! Thanks for our sponsor, Teamy for this. Thanks, Teamy. Can we leave Lee help me bring?

Teamy brings? Yeah, you're someone's gonna feel great. Ah, sugar cookies and Teamy. Yeah, no, tell your thing. I'm so sorry in a row. No, I wasn't just gonna say much except for the fact no, tell your thing, I'm so sorry. No, I wasn't just, I wasn't gonna say it much, except for the fact that like, you know, I'm so excited to talk about Real House with New York tonight here.

Oh, one thing we went to eat barbecue, which apparently barbecue sells out. That was another thing. I mean, I need that because I'm from Texas, but Ben's like, what do you mean sold out? Why don't you just make more? Yeah. I do have an issue about that.

I understand. You can only put so much stuff in the smokers, but just get more smokers. I'm like, you're a restaurant. I get very remote about that. I learned that y'all can eat here, OK? I was telling Ben, I was like, at least I'm shamed where we live, you know? Like, I stole you whatever the fuck I want, obviously. But at least, like, I hate telling Ben, I was like, at least I'm shamed where we live, you know?

Like I stole you whatever the fuck I want, obviously. But at least like I hate myself for it. Here? Yeah. I would be dead. I wouldn't still be here. I don't know, like there, like I would be wobbly. I mean, I kind of already am.

Like I'm in the middle, but girl, do you guys have a different kind of my fitness pal here? Like what do you even enter? There's like so many things and they're all butter and cream. It was amazing. We went to a barbecue place last night, which I believe is named after a stripper. It's called Sugar Fire.

It was amazing. Amazing. It's a hot person sat with us, because you know, they have those like, community tables, tables which disgusting. I'm not talking to you in my actual community. I don't want to talk to you while I'm binging. Okay.

I barely even looked at Ben. I just want to be alone. I had a play to feel like and this hot guy sat down next to us and I was like, don't sit down next to us. And he did. It's like he does. Yeah. It was great.

We actually have seen a lot of hot guys, which is nice. Thank you. So So obviously tonight we're gonna be talking about oh my god plug in hurry up. My god my plug came out of my What happened with that computer? Oh I'm plugging in for me. Damn it. Oh. Damn it. Damn it. Wait, is everyone excited for Orange County to come back on Monday?

We're kind of hoping to impress the reset button on last season, right? I don't care. Give me a bad season of that show. So I still fucking love it. I mean, that's where Kelly, like, threw her plate. Oh no, Shannon threw her plate in, never. It's not my fucking plate. See, it's obviously never been to St. Louis.

Nobody would do that. That's sugar fire, okay? I'm not throwing my plate at you. Yeah, I will punch you, but I will not throw my plate. That's my plate. Bitch. So obviously, we're gonna be talking about the greatest show of all time,

which is Real Housewives of New York tonight, which is very exciting. But, but, before we do that, I just want to say, you know, I sort of apologize because we will not be talking about Southern Charm last night. I know, but let's just have a moment. Can we all agree that Ashley's like the worst person of all time? Right? I felt like that had to get out of everyone's systems, you know I was like we have to talk about the elephant in the room with the water buffalo I was like posting fun stuff on Instagram people will make jokes and stuff not when you put Ashley shit. Uh-uh

It is a hate right and it is hilarious. I'm like, oh my god. Where did all these people come? Cuz usually it's like ah-ha Ramona Ha-ha and then you put Ashley in the other that horn She's like, ah, Ramona, ah, ah, and then you put Ash in another THAT HORE! Fuck her! That's a mother fuck you, you know, Catholic. She's winning, guys. So yeah, so, but let's focus on the happy stuff.

You guys, I'm really good at flirting. Yeah. I'm really good at it. Okay. We were saying that walking in today. I'm really good at it, okay? We were saying that walking in today. I'm really good at flirting. Okay. I don't know what it is.

I saw it. This show, oh, I'm sorry. No, it's okay. Go on, I actually interrupted you. I was just going to say, we know that some of you were a new to podcast, someone literally said what's a podcast. You know who you are. Where are you?

You're right up here somewhere. I taught it to her. I was like, you get it through your Jimmy Chuse, remember? So I know that you don't know it. You're like, what the hell is this? It's this. We just sit here. Like literally, don't we?

Congratulations. You can bring whatever you set up here. And then keep you here for five hours. Yeah. Well, we talk about things like armadillos and barbecue. Oh, can I say one more armadillo thing? Yes, that must. So I was like, they get here because people

hit them with their grills on their trucks. Some from Texas, you know? Yeah. And then they drive them all the way here before realizing they were shit on their truck. Because you know, people with trucks, and he looked it up, They are migrating from Texas You know they all have like a thing in their mouth like a little like we think and a little hat or like I'm going to think Lewis

Or just our other life they didn't go on the ribboats Okay, so real housewives of New York City Previous real housewives New York City. Whoa. Previous real housewives New York City. Cabaret's gives the hell out of me. I was like, she's seen a touring production because it is not a happy show, Cabaret. Yeah. It's like the Holocaust.

It's like live, it's like Cabaret. OK, everyone's dead from the Holocaust. Thanks for coming, guys. That's really the way how Cabaret goes, actually actually anyone's seen it. Just some money. Okay. So this this week's episode opens up in Lwann's new apartment Where she is practicing her cabaret with Billy Stridge legend. Billy Stridge. Billy Money cap. This is Billy Stridge. He has Mark Margaret face from real hassles of New Jersey. You guys watch that? Classic mods. Like, yeah, he's like,

money can buy your clas, money can buy your clas, money can buy your clas, money can buy your clas, money, he just keeps playing the same thing. Like, Lewand doesn't know the song or what a piano is. You know? She's like, well, the day is six weeks away and I have to solo memorize these lyrics. It's like, I think you can do it. He does it like 20 times. He just keeps going money, and then Lou Ann, I don't know, her voice isn't coming out right so she puts on reading glasses. I mean that's the show.

They're like, Lou Ann. They're like from like the Doria collection or something. Yeah. So I can, wait, hold on. Hold on. All right, I hear the note now. I hear the note. Money can't buy you a class, but I can get you some readers. What a catchy too.

He's like, I open Miss Saigon and now this is what I'm doing. Money can't buy. Oh god, he had to complain about something opening Miss Saigon. I mean, that's not a fun show either. That's V at mom. Yeah Stop drag think about that. It's Vietnam. So so the one's a person who wrote money can't buy a class because that's how this song goes in Miss Saigon It's like the dumbest show ever Well, it's true. I'm hours, I told you. We're two seconds into this show.

So, Lohan's like, Well, when I started Cabaret, I didn't expect I'd get arrested or go to rehab. So, I feel a little stressed, I only have four weeks to practice. All right, we went to that show. She sang like three songs, and was off stage, almost the entire time.

Yeah, she didn't even sing. And all her lines were in a book. It was great. It was amazing. You should all see it if you can, but I'm like, man. And now we find out where she got all those gowns. She stole them from Durinda's friend.

Javon, which was her problem. Carol's problem with Leigh-Wan is that she was trying to steal clothes from Michelle Obama's designer member. Yeah. She was like, this lady designs for Michelle Obama. And she's like, I can keep this right. I can keep this.

Oh my God. I mean, I don't know why you would sit you where you're that it's not good enough for me if it's good enough for Michelle Obama. Remember that whole conversation? She was actively angry. And here we are again. So she's got Michelle Obama dresses on.

But so she's singing there in the corner, and then they come to Ben Rumelower, who's like the producer, and he's just sitting there like this He's like honestly playing Sadogu during the rehearsal Yeah, Ben his name is Ben. He's like He's like sitting on the guy. He's the guy with Carol voice like that musical director Money cap. I've got an idea Jokes like yeah, thanks for getting up, Ben. And the man goes, oh, you know, I had to go to AA

to keep me honest. It's like who's honest in AA? Ha-ha-ha-ha. I've been there, and I tell him the truth. That's her dad. It's like when you go to Weight Watchers, who's gonna say I was naked in my bathroom eating a pizza and trying to poop at the same time?

Nobody's gonna say that. Who the, you gotta, you gotta the places to give yourself a story to make you sound better. I literally, I literally saw a pickup truck today whose license plate was just AA. And I was like, oh, that's a curious choice. That's like literally an identifying feature that says Al Cosmo.

Well, that's the guy you wanna party with. One more A, everybody would be asking for like road help, you know. So anyway, the way I was like, well how lucky am I? I have been surrounded by such a great team. I was like, Billy Shritch like, uh, so. Billy Shritch with Liza, Cheetah, Liza, Cheetah, Pizza. I have Billy, Pizza. Anything that I do to the fridge. You know, Billy Hezza. Anything that ends up in the story. You know, Billy Shritch probably has work with God damn Hezza. Billy Shritch will do anything, and he's very talented, and he does work with Liza, and

that's how you can work with Luan. Like, how are you gonna work with Luan? You know, Liza beat her ex-husband ever they had with the vodka bottle. Okay. I mean, that is some good hiring right there. So I had an issue with the Wands Canapes. Did anyone notice her Canapes? Of course not, just me.

She put out like avocado toast, but she didn't like, like she had these like very sad like crackers. And then she like sliced the off, it was like the sad avocado on all the crackers. I was like, how are you gonna put on a good cab ratio if you can't put out good canopies? Really good. Okay, take this canopy out of stage and let

other appetizers do it for a while. Cause that's how it show is. Canopy in friends. That's yeah, that's so lean heavily on the friends. For sure, so Ben gets off the couch and he's like, oh my God, I've got it! Thanks! Louis is so excited to be on the stage.

So then she's like, I'm too excited! Bring Sonyova! Bring Sonyova! So then Sonyo comes out and lays one down. Like, you're gonna have to be more specific. You invite him, Sonyo, here, girls. He will lay one down. We also got the origin story of why the show is called

Hashtag Accountants of Friends. She goes, well, I get so much flack about the Countess Then I'll just call it Hashtag Accountants of Friends and just mess with everyone. I'm like, wow, you really showed them? Really messing with him with that name, good wonder, man. Also, I said Hashtag. So young It's referring to Ashi Sh. So you're going to tell stories and Sonia will come up and shield tell stories. Have you guys ever read a Bravo blog that these bitches put out the next day after the show?

Someone posted on our Facebook Sonia's blog today and it's literally like, flower. Bethamy's nice, so phone. You know, it's like, there's some people you don't ask to come on stage and tell stories. Okay. Well, I mean, she's been telling stories ever since she's been on this show.

I mean, I mean, I was like, well, you know, I used to tell stories all the time in San Trope, with pickles and Nigerian soccer team. They love my stories. You're like, um, Leo de Caprio's birthday. And so Sonia actually shows up. And they're like, OK, so this is what you're going to be doing.

So she's like, well, I mean, I do a little bit more Caberlesque, not Caberle. I'm like, Sonia, that is not a thing. Caberlesque is something you invented. It's the same thing as Caberle, too, by the way. Well, in her blog, what's I read? I thought I'd mention that. She is like, you can make fun of Cabaret too, by the way. Well, her blog, which I read, I thought I might have mentioned that. She is like, you can make fun of Cabaret last call you want.

Okay, we will. But it's my thing, people pay to see it. It's parody. It's like, what is it a parody of? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What is it? What do you write things?

So, so then Ben says to you, I one point says to Sonia, he's like, tell you want to take your clothes off on this show. And the way it just goes, no. And the best part, I mean, everyone's seen the video, right? From it, she fully gets nude in the show. I was like, that is some great foreshadowing. But Lou Ramm is very responsible. Because she's like, well, you're wearing underwear, Sonya.

Okay, it's gonna be a Snatch Free Zone, Sonya. Okay, you're gonna wear your underwear, and then Ben goes, yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be Snatch Free, and she goes, yes, because we're gonna do a gangster rap. And he's like, no, not gangster, gangsta. I'm just like, oh, gangsta, gangsta, rap. I get it now, gangsta, rap. Gangsta, rap. Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gangster Gang Gang Gangster Me too. Sonia. Sonia is one of those friends that you think you're doing

a favor. Yeah. And then she's like, here's my list of demands. Just having Luann say, we're going to do a gangster rap and then Ben Rimmelauer saying it's gangster. It was like the widest moment I've ever seen in TV. I was like, oh my god, I understand drive-by's now. Totally get it.

So rude, sorry everybody, affected. So we then go to Carol's apartment, and Carol is just like, desiccating on a couch. Tensely just walked. It is like that scene from 7, you know, they walk in, they're like, well, we got a corpse on the bed. Ah! Oh my God, I love gifts. When it's said, that's so sweet, Tinsley, thank you. I'm in the living room.

Obviously, it's the only room in the house. I'm like, this is the sound of a person melting. The dying room. The slow dying room. I think the sarcophagus. So Carol's that friend. You think you're doing a favor. You look like a present.

You know, and she's like, oh, I love presents. For example, looking at all these two looks at Adam got me. And four different bases that I stole from Lee Rads' Abel right back there. So, two please give me you a gift right here and right now. I'll rude. And she even went to like justice, you know that store for little girls. Is that what that is? Yeah, it's like she went to justice and got her like little tiny, you know, because Carol's like an old, tiny, little, old baby.

You know what I'm saying? Oh! When? When? And they're like, put a crop top on her. She'll be fine. Ha, ha, ha. Put her on a counter.

Like little Madonna fingerless gloves. And then when you put the hands together, it says, hearts. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Yeah, but what's really annoying about those gloves, because wore them later in the episode is like if you look at them It's a harp when you wave it someone looks like you just have an open wound on your hand

Ha I get nervous when you said justice I get nervous hearing the word justice because Obviously justice justice knowledge we are in the land of Megan King Edmonds. We have to be careful We are in the land of Megan King Edmonds. We have to be careful. And Andy Cohen and Tom Sandevol. St. Louis is a hotbed of Bravo stars. But you guys, this is important because Carol is about to launch into a whole story about this. Oh, it's about to launch into a whole hatred of emotional support animals.

Take it away, man. I'm gonna be over here. Did everyone see this thing on social media that Adam posted? So for those of you guys who missed it, Adam, Carol's ex, tried to bring baby on a flight across the country where he had a layover right here in St. Louis, that's where it all comes together. And at the layover, he brought baby with him, and I guess he used baby as a service dog,

and they were like, that's not a service dog. And so they wouldn't let him get on a flight with baby. So he posted on social media a photo of him looking really sad, like victims of society. And he says boycott delta, they wouldn't let me get on with baby and baby is a service animal. I was like no you are not allowed to try to commit fraud on the airline and then fail and then tell us the boycott the airline. No I'm going to boycott Adam. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I mean, you know I've done that.

And that's not fraud because you go to the doctor and you get a letter and you pay $80, okay? I'm taking my dog. I'm with Adam. Also, if Adam didn't need emotional support before this, he will now. Because it was like, it was like, the airport in St. Louis was like, Adam, Ashley Jacobs. Because the whole internet was like, the airport in St. Louis was like, Adam, Ashley Jacobs. Because the whole internet was like, I can't hear you. That was so cool.

Oh, you got a damn dog. It was like lost it. The baby has the water buffalo hair. I know, now he legit can't travel without a little dog. Yeah, no, I got me so mad. I mean, are you able to co-parent a service dog with three different people? Is that work?

Well, anyone knows. Someone says yes. She's committing fraud, right? You're my kind of girl. Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. Yes, so she's co-parenting. Basically, it just means I'm too fucking lazy to walk my dog.

The way she does it, okay? Because she's like, this guy downstairs named Trent takes my dog when so and so doesn't have it or the other person doesn't have it I'm like you don't even have a dog why are you pretending to have a dog right now, okay? That's not even your dog. I see it on Instagram all the time and it's not with you Yeah, she tells this whole like very uninteresting story where she's like well the craziest thing happened Adam ran into tripping baby was there and Adam was like, I'm gonna take Baby, Trip was like, okay, you could take Baby and Adam was like, I'm gonna go upstairs and say, I had a carol, and I was like, I'm gonna count,

and I heard someone walk in, and I was like, who's there? And I was at it, but I thought it was Trip, and I was at it, and I was like, oh, hey! Great story, Carol. Yeah. And Tim says, like, you going to open my present? I'm going to open my present. Really? Oh.

She goes, Adam just walked into your house. I'm just like, wow, yeah. I mean, all of that, they added. Poor Carol is struggling. Do you guys really believe that she's even with Adam at all? Do you? No, right?

She's totally lying for the show and like trying to look like Carrie Rajon's death. It's like her real version of fight club It's like she is Adam Yeah, no, I also felt like there was so much privilege in the idea of like living in New York City and just leave your door open and Adam Can just walk in I was like wow So much privilege. I mean yeah, it's the realwives. What if they didn't have any privilege at all? Like, we're watching the real housewives.

I know, I get mad at a show that's like, all about privilege. It's the one thing I like, Charity, like, wait a second. Listen, I may not have privilege, but I do have privilege. So we learned that that tinsley and Scott are going to be moving in together and by that

just going up to the penthouse in her hotel. It's kind of weird. I wrote 20 pages of notes on this stupid scene. Oh, literally nothing happened. She talks about her dog and tries to pretend she's still dating Adam. And then they just cut to the clip of tinsley going, Scott comes to her door and rings. Go, isn't that crazy? And she answers and she sees Scott and she goes,

yeah! I got myself down in the ground. Oh! My ex! Now, that's what it's like to live in New York. Yeah. We're on curling into the fetal position. So then there's another knock on the door.

And more flowers arrive. But this time they're not from Adam. They're from some matchmaking woman. What was your name again? Dory or something? Cory? Dory? I'm going to be down, hold on.

Kallori Dory. I'm sorry, but I have 30 pages left. Did I just go too fast? No. You know why I'm saying what you're saying. You're giving up a very important part. Well, please say. Mama Mia. Do I go okay? You fast? No, you know why. Say what you're giving up. You're giving up a very important part. Well, please say.

Mama Mia, do I go okay? Oh, well, that's what happens next. What if we did not a watch out crap and we're like, thank you guys for coming. Now everybody and stand up while we talk about Luar. That's what it's like going to see Mama Mia. Okay, so there's this commercial for Mama Mia, the movie. Yes. And it's with mother's and daughters.. And yeah, girls nodding, man.

I just love doing carolers. She's a narrower. But it's Victoria. OK, it's Victoria and LeWan. And then it's Dorenda and What's Your Bones, Hannah. Who I have to say, Hannah's really leaning into those eyebrows. She didn't care about internet hate.

She was like, I will trim them, but I will not wax them internet. Thank you. I never, just people really hate Hannah and I never got it. I always, I never really had too much problem with her. Beautiful. What a beautiful girl who refuses to be on TV. She must be like smart. She looked miserable in that commercial. She's like, I cannot believe I'm not even an normal mama me a commercial and a mama me a two commercial More mama more Mia, could you imagine trying to shoot anything with Durinbo like that like where they have last night? I love sheep of Mario, but his mama me. Yeah. Yeah, no It's a car. I see driving around laps

I know she put Mario but his mama Mia yeah, no It's a car. I see driving around laps how many takes you think it took for them to do the cro- the like crossing Should we oh my god? Should we try to recreate what it was like for them to do that shot? Okay Like I've're so far apart. Alright, three, two, one. Oh! Oh! What was that?

What was that? I'm gonna keep you. You're gonna keep going. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, baby. All right, do it again. Jesus, it's never ending with those girls. So, poor, now you guys know about Victoria and Anna.

Oh, thank you. You don't have to applaud for that. You don't have to applaud for that. I had to end that. I can't even cross my legs just casually in real life. It's not going to happen. So you know in real life, Luanne's kids are suing her. I'm sorry to smile.

I'm sorry to smile. It's not coming from my face, it's coming from my heart. Because Luam is just pretending like she's, well, I mean, she's a single, but she's pretending like she doesn't know her kids damn count money, okay? So she's trying to sell her house and not giving me the kids so they're suing her. So it made this commercial funny because Victoria already looks angry all the time. You know? She's like, Mom!

She literally looks at her mom like this. She doesn't even look her in the eye. She's like, Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.

Mom. What are you thinking about? What have I teach you about love? First of all, why is that aligned to the commercial? I don't want to know what you fucking taught your mom about romance, you weirdo. Well, she's certainly taught me about gangster rap, that's for sure. Victoria was the first one to get caught falling drunk into a bus,

by the way. Let's remember his copying hood here. God bless. God bless you guys. Let's Face it. It's time for commercial break. I'm sorv-y, I'm sorv-y, but if we don't take one, it's gonna be very day-class set. Okay? Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life, but come on parents life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.

We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.

So then we go to Bethany's apartment where they just cut to her just dumping corner shons all over her place. Just like anyone have another corner shon? Alright, get another corner shon on this on the sandwich. I'm going to corner shon too many, not too many. It's like, that's the one thing she needs is cone of shans. And Sonya comes in always asking for something. It's like if you just let homeless whores into your house.

It's like ding dong, it's a homeless whore. Come on in, you know. And she's just like, jeez, jeez, I'm a jeez. Would you have any more jeez? What it says? Yeah, I got a few. I got a few. It's like, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? I don't know. I don't know. I'm already, I don't know. I was talking about jeans. I got a whole episode. So Sony goes, because they're like these like scarlet red jeans. And so, so, so, season, the man goes like,

this is the color of the year. Just like a whatever. Everything goes, huh? Who said that? Who said that? Who said I was color yeah? Huh, who said that? I wanna hold said that, huh?

I didn't, I don't know what told me that, huh? Color yeah, huh? Hey. Who said that for a cat? Hey, what's the matter, what's going on? What's going on? You know what, you just think, huh? You know what I'm telling you?

We're gonna scull it. I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it, okay? I don't think about this right before, huh? I got it, it's my face. I got it, I'm from Sonya about this. What's going on here? Huh, how many of you, you know what, you know what I need? You know what I need? I don't need a color, you know what I need? I need a blowjob, Sonya about this. It's kind of the year thing, huh? How many of you know what I need?

Do you know what I need? I don't need a color of the year. You know what I need? I need a blowjob. I don't need this. My walls are up. I don't need a color. Like, literally, I've got to get out of the color of the year.

I'm just like, come on self right now. You're with the color of the years? My blood on the floor. Like, I'm gonna say I can't. Mm. Ooh. Okay. And then Sonya, of course, which only Sonia could say this.

She's like, I'm a fashion forecaster. I mean, I know these things. For example, today, it's cloudy with a chance of meatballs. It's too I am. Yeah, I feel a little precious, I'm coming in. So, so basically Bethany, Bethany Putzoni on some sort of like a leading website like Raya or one of those things. The fancy people use.

And they're like looking at her profile. And I was like, oh my god, we already have a message. Like, what's going on? It's just like, welcome to website. OK, cool. So you got a message from the administrator. OK, that's great. If you got a seriously, you got me

a email from somebody called confirm your email. I mean, what do you whore? What do you whore? What do you whore? I'm like, hey, look's great. Okay, seriously, you got me from somebody called confirm your email. I mean, what do you want? Seriously, what are you, what do you want? What do you want? I'm like, hey, look at that, you got not Jerry and Prince. Okay, you know that's like a serious email. Other princes are ready to talk. Fashion forecasting.

And I'd like to invest in, he's like, oh, you got to be approved. You got to be approved to give them his site. It like immediately let Sonya in. Okay, that's why they didn't even mention what the site was. They're not allowed to. Yeah, okay, the site was like, no! It's like kind of free advertising, no one wants. So it takes all the shit that the internet says about you

and it compiles it for you into your bio. Who does that? Who thought that that would be a great idea? A terrible, Ronnie, church plays, dominoes, 19 free pizzas. Mommy issues new jeans old maybe. Oh, I sound hot. Bravo podcast.

Oh, I'm not about there to fuck me. You never know. You never know. Who I do. I know. You never know. Who I do. I know. So Sonia's profile as compiled by a robot says that she's a toaster of an and special appearance and lifestyle expert. Model slash actress slash event producer, publicist, entertainer slash film producer.

That's it. That's all. I had nothing else. I felt like that just did on the tone. I just put it cetera, et cetera. But I really think that the stuff that Sonya puts out on the internet is more entertaining than anything we could come up with. Oh, and on her blog, by the way, because Stephanie, who am I? Where am I? I was Beth.

And he's like, you got to be strategic with the men. So on her blog, Sony is like, strategic with men. Maybe. Like Sony is getting mad, but she doesn't know why she's getting mad. I like the idea that it says, Toaster of an Inspecial appearance. And Toaster of an Inspecial.

It's like a leads with Toaster of an. Like, this is the most important thing you have to know. We need some Kelly Toaster of an expert. We need Kelly Benzimone to be like, you are not a Toaster of an chef. You were a Toaster of Enclix. Okay. I am the top rack.

You were the bottom rack. I am broil, you are big. You. Simu doesn't even care. All she hears this whole time is free jeans. Okay, that's all she cares about. She's like, I don't know what's going on with Simu Bethany, but now I get all the jeans.

Like, I mean, did I say Stephanie again? Simu and Stephanie, you guys, Bethany and Carol. She's like, I don't know what's going on with Carol and Bethany, but I could all the jeans. I'm like, do you think Carol was ever taking those jeans home? Carol's like, I hope I get some skinny girl jeans under the Christmas tree today. I was gonna take them, but they were the color of last year. Sorry, Sonia.

I'm just a little more hip. So then, yeah, Bethany's like me and Dora Faye's, but Sonia's like, oh my God, it's almost talking to me. And I got free things, so she likes it. So then you just like moons, or? Yeah. Because when all else fails, just show your ass to Bethany, you know? So this is where Doraindep, I don't know, I didn't even know how to start writing the notes

because you can never tell what the fuck Daringa's doing. You see Daringa is like, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, It's like, okay, it's like Muppet Daringa music. So Daringa comes in, she's got like an armful of just glittered shit, okay? And I'm friends with drag queens, and even I was like, damn!

Daringa, her host a lot, like all these things. So I was like damn. Damn girl, that's a lot. Like all these things. So I'm like she's making return and then I was like well maybe it's not dresses maybe it's like the hobby lobby. Like I don't know what she's doing. So it turns out to be Giovanni, where is a place it just gives Dorenda shit to wear. And Dorenda is the worst defender but at least she admits it because she's like Like this is the what never listen every gay should know not to ever let it Durrinda into your business

That's what you You give them one free meal on their Mac every fucking day. Yeah. Also, don't date twigs. Tsk. Ha ha ha ha. Same day. I just saw a straight guy in the end of the score. Like, I don't know what that even is. It was you.

I know I winked at this straight guy. And so she comes in, and you know, the poor little queen. The queens on this show, I don't know what they do. It's like they grab them by the ankles and just drag through them, drag them through like burnt sea and a cray on melted, you know. So this poor guy is like, hi, welcome to Giovanni and to Randas.

I'm actually the cabaret. He's like, girl, his friend isn't in a cabaret. You're talking to a queen with a jewel dress store. Okay. I'm in a caper. Right now. So, Luan shows up, but I actually, you know, I never know whether just to like laugh

or just like bow down to all her looks because she shows up with like sunglasses and like a snow cap and it was like so bizarre, but I was like, this is why I love Luan because she will show up with that look. Like, late. Late. Like an hour late to get free shit.

Who does that? Like knocking on the homeless shelter, like two hours later, like, open up. Like excuse me. Well, I was walking down eighth avenue in a spiral of shame. They were throwing below any sandwiches right in my head. And I was taken back to that time, I was in the clink.

I was in such a dark place, I just couldn't get here at time. I learned so much gangster rap then. So Dorenda takes that time that she's waiting to drown every foe, like, mub bit fur that they have. I'm like, that's where Dorenda's getting all this. Has Dorenda ever about one thing in her life? Because we see all of her outfits in there. You know those big faux fur, like,

yeah, like a Kea bathroom rug thing she wears. Don't have to point at me when you do that. Oh, it's just. She's one of my muse. So, yeah, big first. So she's like, well, I can't even see some of that she loves jumpsuits. It's like, again, big first. So, she's like, well, I can't even see some that she loves jumpsuits. It's like, again, telling the gay guys,

like, okay, cap raise jumpsuits. You just described my entire friend list. So, Lou comes in and her end is like, you late, and she's like, oh, wow, you know what it's like. But I thought, what would Daringa do? She's like, oh, God, don't go there. She'd drink the goat. Yeah, she would yell at every taxi driver.

So they started like trying on dresses. They all look really good and stuff. And Leigh Ann finds one that she loves. It's like really fun, blue number. And Leigh Ann just loves it. And Durinda says one of the meanest things a woman could ever say. She's like, well, I hate to say it, but it's remote to blue.

Lwans like, burn it to hell. Actually, she literally goes, oh, now I'm going to vomit. You just ruined it for me. And Lwans is also one of those people that you just have to naturally hate because she goes in and they give her anything and say, oh my god I don't even have to alter it or have it. Everything just fits like a glove. Just fits like a glove. I'm literally wearing a glove and it fits just like a glove. But wait gloves never fit me properly, so I don't know where that expression came from. So Durinda, uh, Durinda is like, yeah, you like it, you like your free clothes?

We'll have a weeky cool case. Dorenda is loving this drama with Luann being a drunken stuff, because you know Dorenda is like two steps from that. And you know when you're about to go to rehab and you start accusing everyone around you of being drunk. That's what she's doing. And you know when you're about to go to rehab and you start accusing everyone around you of being drunk. Oh. That's what she's doing. Like what's it like?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, it was good once the bruise is cleared up from all those baloney sandwiches hitting me in the head. A lot of cheese on a mustard packet. It was crazy. Disgusting. So she's like, well, it a best case scenario.

They're hoping I wouldn't be charged with a criminal allegation because, you know, I didn't have criminal intent. I'm not some long order spinoff. I mean, it seems innocent, you know. When I said, I'm going to kill you all. I just managed like, I'm going to kill you with I just managed like I'm gonna kill you with a wonderful performance of cabaret Three two one killing you softly with my songs Killing you softly and Florida

Palm Beach, Charmin, I got married over there killing me softly Lonely at my head Back here you're rusty you know I don't have intent and then they show the clip. Get back here, you russies. You know I don't have intent, and then they show the clip. I'm gonna kill you. I kill all of you. Kill all of you. My favorite cops video ever.

Why can't you take off my cause? I'm gonna kill you guys. My butt crack is hanging out. I just felt it. I'm so sorry. Sorry Morgan. Everybody, that's Morgan Morgan the merch girl. She's hot. Lovey Morgan. Hey Morgan everyone go buy your stuff. By the way you are. I'm secretly sad that they cuffed her again so quickly because I would have liked it if they

like gave her like a little weapon and just saw her like swing it you know know They're a pod people and she also makes everything like she rewrites her own bio You know like she makes everything sounds so good. She's like well, you know, I'm really glad I took that initiative to go to rehab I'm so glad I participated in that scared straight program Really taught me a few things You know those cops are just driving around. They look like they wanted to feel good at their jobs. So I got in their car. So glad I helped those cops out.

What a giveer. So refreshing to get back into it with Baloney sandwiches. What a lovely treat. You okay? No one deserves this. Okay. Roni is readjustinging you're welcome. Yes You know if you're in the round

So basically the whan is shocked that she can't just get off free. She's like, but I'm rich So apparently they're gonna make her go to court, you know. She's like, I am shocked and during the... Will it happen to me to meet you? It's gonna be a few weeks. Oh, I know, Mr. Meena, that's a gangster rapper, right? That's a song about working it, something like that. Pass that, Dutch oven. Pass that, pass that, Dutch oven.

Ah, ah, ah. She went to a look-through-vers, no, that's all. Pass the Dutch oven to the left-hand side. I know, I know. So, Dorenda is like, he's going to go with, he's going to go. Dorenda is that woman who never gets off the bus. It's like, last stop. Last stop.

I don't know, guess we hear. OK, so, Tinsley at her hotel apartment. Yes, the hotel apartment. So it's time for Tinsley to pack her clothes. So she does what any good reality star does. She has her gay come over to watch her and be like this. Ah. Ah.

Is that what? You keep closing me, Evan. What? You put your shoes in my box with that bubbler wrap, and I'm like, stop thinking like a poor person. Okay, Rich Dad, poor Dad, read it. He's like, what? And the cow at Bradshaw is happening.

I know, that's so sad. That hurt. And I really like Tinsley, but I believe that people who named their dogs Vambi should automatically be shot. There I sat down. Vambi. Do you know what happened to poor Vambi? I believe that people who named their dogs, Bambees should automatically be shot. There are a set up. Bambe. Do you know what happened to poor Bambe? Do you know what happens at this poor gay? He had to sit there and watch Chinsley throw shoes into a box. He was like, no, not the shoes.

She's like, My babies. I hope that's not how she treats her eggs. I hope that's not how she treats her eggs. He wanted to bubble wrapped her shoes. I mean, gays, you know. I applaud him. I applaud him. Yes, standards.

So can we basically, oh, something like a futon in a bedroom and put her clothes in there. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Glad your curls are here for this. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Someone just shook their head like, hmm. So, Luann has just gotten out of her A-A meeting. Oh, hello. Is it me you're looking for? Like, just say your fucking name and sit down lady. Because there's something in this meeting. And there's something in this meeting. There's something in your eyes.

Is it me who are looking for a bottle of wine? Oh. Oh. Anyway, so Luanne does what any good person does after getting out of Bay. She goes and meets with Carol at a coffee shop. I don't know how that keeps you on the wagon, but I guess it does.

And Carol has shown up as a leather daddy, like a little time he's loving a daddy today. She's in her like little leather daddy hat. Like, ah! She's wearing her little motorcycle glove things, you know. Which is nice. Carol, I think you have a stigmata of some sort on your head. No, it's by heart from Tinsley.

Oh God, Carol would get crucified like this. Ha, ha, ha. Like looking all cute. I want to be crucified in a fashionable manner. Okay, watching Luan order coffee made my life. Okay, this was a great episode in a lot of ways, but this was the best part. Has Luan ever had coffee in her life? The poor guy behind the counters during this.

He's like... He's like, first I heard there was some crazy lady just throwing shoes in a box and now this. So Carol's like, you hungry? The wind's like, hmmm... Maybe... What's that? I'm like, what? And then she goes,

Okay, hi! Hi, terrified gay. I'll have a cup of regular coffee. And she goes, okay, hi, hi, terrified day. I'll have a cup of regular coffee. And she goes, regular coffee. Ha ha ha ha. All right, well, I'll have the same please. This coffee, Carol's like, I don't have it with cold milk. Cold milk.

Cold milk. It's John Keyhounis about to walk in. What would you do? Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk.

Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk.

Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Oh. I mean, it's not room temperature, but it's... Did you shake that up? Is that that orange stuff they put in the glass sometimes?

I'm in AA, so I'll just have a coffee and sew down. She's so confused by coffee, it's hilarious. So, Carol's like, look, it's so great to be on the day. In the end, it's like... Have we always been on a cast together? Are you new? Who is this person? Are there any blackout curtains for this?

I don't want everybody to see me on screen. What are... Who are all these people around here? So she's like so hey she's like just what are they saying hey she goes well you know what they say you have to stay away from people places and things I'm basically a madlib now. So Carol goes, well, what is that people who drink? And then the man goes, and places the drink. And I guess, things that you drink.

She says, what are things? And she goes, I guess, drugs. I don't know. Oh, both of the drink places that drink, and I don't know, drugs. Maybe that milk you put in your coffee. Whatever that is, where does milk come from anyway? Well, you squeezed the things and I kept- Oh, disgusting.

This is ridiculous thing, Carol. Why don't we then ride to that? So, Radzi is just loving this, you know? Because she hates Louie, I don't care what she's saying. And she's like, I love this, Louie. Baaah! Because it's hilarious. So she's like, I love her.

So now the stuff more about rehab. What are you? Wait, hold on. Hold on. She goes, what advice do they give you in rehab? And the man goes, oh, you know, day by day, minify minute, year by year. mile by mile, inch by inch, howl by howl. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have

the facts of life, one day at a time, one day at a time, golden girls, not both. Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. It might be right for you. It may not be right for song. Carol, I bet we've been together for a million years. And I bet we'll be together for a million more. Wait a minute. So then she goes, Carol, because Carol is just not buying this.

No one's buying this. So Carol goes, That must be scary for you to switch up your routines. It sure is, Carol. A hit it, boys! Oh, my goodness. Why would you say routines around Louan, okay? We're never gonna get out of here.

So Carol goes, It's not like you can't be around people who are drinking. I'm like, she literally just said people places things, Carol. You're a writer, you should understand these concepts. I like the way Luan, I like Luan's mindset. She's like, well, today I'm not going to drink. And tomorrow I don't plan on drinking. I don't get with that, I'm good with that.

I'm like, that's good commitment. Oh, that's the way they do it, you guys. If you say, I'm never drinking again, you could drunk, okay? I feel bad for Luland, because we all kind of want her to keep drinking, but she can't drink now, because it's like all public. I kind of want to, like, some of you like, you can do it. You can do it, Luland. That's okay, we don't.

They do, everybody does. Has anybody ever tried to be sober for five minutes? People aren't supportive. They're just acting like it on this show. That's how people are. They're like, congratulations, how's A.A. Wanted me to debar? So how's it going?

Oh great, is it hard? That's how we are. I mean, I've done it. We've all done it, let's be honest. Yeah. Who any sober? Read the blogs, okay? Someone just showed out Kim Richards, yes, exactly.

Yeah, Kim Richards. Now, Kim Richards is sober. Mm-hmm. I mean, that judgment here. Just don't drive a car. So Carol's talking about how much she likes the new Luann. She's taking accountability for stuff and everything. And they start talking about Sonya. I don't even remember what they're talking about because I was so distracted by the fact that like some Steven Sondheim guy came and sat right next to Luan. Did you notice that? That cuts on the way, and you be Luan.

Okay. Reading a book, like right under shoulder. And it's like acting like he's pretending like you get the cameras aren't there. Like, what? I'm just going to read my book about postmodern film. That's it. I'm just a New Yorker just sitting here I'm like sir can you get out of the frame please get out of here you can tribute or get the fuck out of here wearing his film fest munch in 2000 hat come on yeah in my mind he's in a beret with he not in a beret

he had a beret essence about him but yeah he was fine. I just call her things. He was wearing a cap. He spoke of a beret. I remember it very clearly. Yeah. Meanwhile, of course, a flower there, I'll be doing the exact same thing. Let's be honest. Carol's like, well, now that we're friends,

you should dump Sonya with a stupid horn. You're going to let her in your show. Well, she's not going to be Sonya. She's going to be with Archela to be. OK. I cannot wait until Sonya. She's gonna be what I tell her to be like mm-hmm, okay I cannot wait till Sonya shows her back. Can not wait Okay, you know what I think it's time that we all get in shape and we go work out with Deborah at the gym with Okay

Whoa, look at Deborah. She handles those freeways so well. It's like she does so many sets and reps. She's got a perfect body, but guess what? So do I. That's why people often confuse me from my best friend daughter, Avery. Okay, sorry, sorry, I'm working out. I'm out, okay? So you know that this is really one of Ramon's friends because she's like, she's mortified. She's like horrified to be there. No one will suit with Ramon except this poor Deborah girl. And she's already prepared because she's like hanging onto a rope like she could use it at any moment.

You know, she's like, she's just hanging on one of those Pilates. I mean, I'm assuming that's what they are. But she's like, like, Ramona just never shuts up, you know, she comes in and she's like, oh my God, Deborah. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! This is so amazing. Debra, if you train with me, this is not, we're like training, but we train together. Ah! Debra's just like, I'm just trying with this, not with like training, but with training together She's like watching her gym membership be canceled as I speak

Last time I worked out a bunch of ex-confix was not cool. They class say For me the best part about staying in shape is that it doesn't matter what I put on I look good in it It's all about the clothes that I steal, okay? Sorry. Sorry. Ramona looks good in everything like a beer always looks good in a koozie. You know what I mean? It's like this weird just like beer shape and And I mean, he doesn't love a beer shape. It's a standard shape.

But it's like, you can change the queasy. I love a beer. You can't change the group. I love a beer, Jose. So everything looks good on me. It just makes me better. Me, Kay, I'm sorry. Because it wasn't always like that.

OK? This one time, when I was a little girl, I was looking at the mirror. And I was like, mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's gonna grow up to be the most like her daughter of all? And Jaldi and Parsonsmith came in and said, Get out of my mirror, you ugly little girl. You're an ugly, ugly little girl and you'll always be ugly. And to this day, I can't look at a mirror, you ugly little girl. You're an ugly, ugly little girl, and you'll always be ugly. And to this day, I can't look in a mirror.

I'm sorry, but I can't. I'm sorry. Dave Pazza. Hey, Dave Pazza. So Deborah knows where this is going. Raman has already had a monologue, you know, how the first time she worked out was on one of those shaker machines in the 50s.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. She had one of those bathing caps that has like the flowers on it. Yes, it's like the handmade stalework guy. So Deborah knows what snacks, you know, because it's Ramona, so it's like dick, that's what snacks, you know. So she goes, so the guy, the guy you're dating, and I was like, he's out of town with this kid. She goes, is that the one from the wedding that you met? And she's like, I can't even keep him straight.

Whoa. I haven't even known. Hey, I'm so many, God. Just like everywhere I go. I was like, walk out, son. God's phone. God's, God. Littlely, raining, man.

Wait, are you talking about, oh, he must be talking about the Colonel, right? He's for you, Hanson be talking about the Colonel, right? He's for your handsome man who cooks wonderful chicken. No Ramona, that was a billboard, you saw for KFC. The Colonel. Aren't there Colonel's and Handmaid's tell to you guys, I'm so sorry, I can't get over the Handmaid's tell. I need Aunt Lydia to be in this show, this is the... Ramona!

Who's that? What if Aunt Lydia... What if Aunt Lydia to be in this show. We're Mona. We're getting shrugs. What if Aunt Lydia is just Lydia? Oh! I don't even want to show. I don't even know what I'm making jokes about. Let's just get puttin' in. Underneath the eye. Okay.

So, I don't know if everyone's grouting. I know I'm sorry to do that to you. Under a thigh, okay. So Ramona's now, like, she's really like, she's gonna talk, give some tools of the trade, tips of the trade. She's like, I don't know why I'm so good at flirting. I don't even know if you call it flirting. I just call it, I'm very open to meeting Matt, okay?

I don't know why I'm so good at being open to meeting Matt. I don't know what? I'm like, that means you're flirting. That's what's up to you. It's your 61 years old. You know what flirting is at this time. I have a hard beater. What can I say, okay?

I'll let my beaters fall. It's hard to touching that like. So then we get her straw flirting, which is the best thing ever, because they show this clip every time, every time Ramona's like, oh my god, I'm not that John is still worse, which is like every week.

They show this clip of Ramona when she's like, this is how you flirt with someone. or something. That's just biting from like 10 different places. So then we get to see, like this scene is already perfect. They could have cut this entire thing and I would have been like, what a great episode. It's a classic, could they do that, you know? Yeah, but then we get to see Romano workout. Yeah. Her moan on the plot is machine. It's because I'm very sexually active. Okay?

What's appealing to be is a man in his 50s. Someone who's small. I mean, I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. It's because I'm very sexually active, okay? What's appealing to be as a man in his 50s? Someone who's smart. I mean, I know I'm smart, but I want someone who's smarter than me or as smart, okay? I mean, I mean, well, obviously I have to be badly sexually attracted to him too, okay?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but Matt Lauer was not so bad, okay? So, Matt Lauer was not the only one to have a button under his desk. I'll tell you that, Matt. Could you match a Ramona, Shabie? You stuck here forever, okay? I'm sorry, Mario, you stuck, okay? Marriott, Mario.

But Ramona likes to say she says smart, but then her foot like waivers on the pilates machine and she's like, oh my god, I lost my foot. It's an earthquake. And that's Charlie and trainer. It's like, you lost your foot. Really? Like she's over it.

She just hates Ramona already. It's like, yup, my footies. Whatever you call it. What is it? Foot, footies. Feet. Inchees. What do you call those things at the bottom of your leg?

Flutes? Flutes? Flutes? What is that word? It's sorvye. I don't know all the words in English language. But I want a man who's as smart as I am, OK? And then it gets better because different to go to church. Durinda Nuann.

I mean. And Nuann literally says like our version of Nuann. I mean. And Luann literally says like our version of Luann. They're walking down the street and Luann goes, can you believe it? That's where my A meetings are. I'm like, that's a bar. I'm Durinda's like, well, it's my chutes over there. Like it's probably the same building you idiots. You know, that's where they hold A. Like, it's probably the same building you idiot. That's where they hold AA meeting.

Also a bar. So, Dorenda's like, hmm. Wee-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y- I wonder even know what church is? What? Does the scene know what church is for? Is the describing church totally wrong? She's like, Niii, I'm gonna be good with this. And during this hilarious, I mean, she's really testing Lou because she's like, yeah, you know, it's hard in the ocean.

You hear her, like last night I got a box to hat all these boxes. Staggs, it's like staggs, staggs, like she's like salivating. Yeah, you're not delicious one. I just sat down and put myself a glass. Oh, so delicious. She's chiggling down my throat by the fireplace.

When it was snowing, she had another glass. And I was like, I'm going to kill you. Why are you telling me this? And the man's like, did you finish all the bottle? I would have. I can do it. I can do it. Have you heard about this milk?

What a horror show. Have you heard about daytime? The reason is like, well, you've gotten rid of all the booze in your house, right? I still have to do that. I'm planning on doing that. Like three episodes at Rosé, but in the freezer. And Torenda's like, you know, it's the really, it's only in New York.

Like in the Berkshire's, I don't need to drink at all. I'm like, we've seen you in the Berkshire's. Like literally two weeks ago. We're talking about. Now that's somewhat delusional enough to like, I mean, tell, you enough to lie in AA. I mean, the Berkshires is where, like, about four seasons ago, we came back from commercial break and we just see the women walking into a restaurant and Durinda is already ranting

at Heather, being like, you're acting in restaurant without me but from the day of neighborhood. She drinks the burkshares. And that was an amazing scene. And by the way, do not stop drinking the burkshares. None of this is a criticism. It's an affirmation. It is great. You go there, and you go to church.

Like no, this isn't great. This is why people start drinking again. Like stop this. So then, uh, Lou Ann's Like, no, this isn't great. This is why people start drinking again. Like, stop this. So then, Lou Ann's like, oh, 30 days. 30 days. Like the minimum. Like the bare minimum. I mean, so good.

I love this show. Okay, so then, of course, we're in church and Durinda's like, he's really cute. I love his engine. Like you, I love you. I'm like, good guy. Don't let John climb on tap on me again. Jesus Christ, I'm going to die on the moon today. Please let the little jingle bell

I put on my front door working. John time's stumbling in the little ring. You know, I'll wake up. Please, dad. Please tell Bethany to give me credit for the Nutcracker. Lohan's taking the novena like, yes, Jesus, yeah. How far? It's like that coffee.

I thought it was so sweet though. I really did think of a sweet that turned a little candle for Lohan. I mean, that's why I loved her in the... Lohan's my dead. You like candles for dead people, right? The old Lohan is dead. She was killed by a baloney sandwich to the head No, but I know that's why I will always love to I'm not love all these women But like why I always love to run this. That's crazy as she is like there's something so lovely and sweet about her I love her. I love her. I want her to like the camera next week when she's here with drunk and losing Ella prison

We always forget. Well, love shows its form in many different ways. Damn, that would have just spittin' Luan's face in the preview. So while they're there looking over Luan's sobriety candle, that's like the perfect time to mention that Carol's having a speed dating party. And so, and you know, Lou is like, oh, the last thing I need is to date anyone or be on speed, you know. So, people place things, am I right? So, during this like, yes, funny

because it's all you care about, and Carol's like, well, I don't want every Tom Dick or Heritage show up. And I said, well, she's already done Tom and Harry, so maybe Dick will show up. And Luanne, Luanne just goes like this. Funny. And Luanne's confusion. She's like, oh, that's great, Rachel. Dick. Dick. So grossed up by the name dick.

So yeah, so Andy and a pink suit. Okay. All right. That's all. I mean, it was like really good. No, that's not all. Did anyone watch, I watched that show last night. Okay, that's not all this. Did anyone watch what happens live last night?

They're rock. This is what happened in the first minute of the show. Did anyone watch what happens live last night? The Rock with Dawn! This is what happened in the first minute of the show. Hey! So, I'm famous for having long tongue and I hear you have a long tongue? Whose tongue is longer? No, no, no. Split screen, split screen of them showing their tongue.

I was like, I don't know how this was not for the Emmys. I just don't. It's better than the commercial. The commercial is good. He's like, hey, guys, guess what? The rock is gonna be here. The rock is gonna be here. And then you know how it's just like he just does this

while the camera is still on and he's like, just stands there in the breeze. They're like, keep rolling in, and he keeps rolling,. He goes like this. I mean, that is just classic. That's like, I'm never watching that. Okay, so Carol. Carol has some weird new music.

Oh, cause she's about to meet Rory, the Swinger lady with heavy eyelids. Rory, that's her name. I call her a Swinger, just because she just looks like that lady in the bar who's like, her eyes can't open because they're like this. They're so heavy with the big eyelashes. Yeah.

And just in your eyelashes. But if you can't lift your eyes, change them. Yeah. Trying to help you. Yeah, absolutely. And here's what we're going to do. You guys are going to get to move, and you want, but then there's going to be dives. You guys are gonna get to move and you want, but then there's gonna be guys that's gonna be fast.

Okay? The one of her eyes like starts to butter and I. It was devastatingly accurate. So, thank you. I was like, oh my eyes hurt. What did you find? All right. I think this is the best thing that Carol has ever done

is like have a speed dating party because this entire scene, the sequence, this rest of the episode, was just pure comedy. Like one thing after the next, just purely amazing. Yeah, it's very... So, Carol shows up and more is like, oh, Carol, I'm so glad you're here. Listen, I found this hot guy over there in the red scarf. He's just for you go flirt with him

Q Ramona Hello Okay, hi hi hi hi hi oh my god, let's go with Ramona blue scoff red Look at you Roy winter white red squad red winter white What's going on here? It's going to hold in here. There must be some romance in the atmosphere, okay? Sir, Ramona is like let's meet some man.

Let's get a head jump a jump head a head a bumper a bumper sticker. Let's get a bump in the jump in the goose bumps. Let's get a jump jump jump jump jump jump jump But jump for tea. Jumpy whatever okay Patees Gays Gays Potato

What have you called? What have you called? Some men who say, what is oil? Okay, let's get it. Let's get it jump pump Oh my God. So she's like, now this is a weird thing in this episode. Everybody's like, oh, I've seen her before. I've seen her in Miami.

What's that about? Like everybody has seen each other before. There's something shifty happening in Miami that we're gonna fight out on this stuff. Yeah, it's called Miami. Oh my God, Ramona's like, oh my God, went to white. Rory, oh my God, your eyes okay? One of them's closed.

And then Karo's like, oh my god, went to white, Rory, oh my god, your eyes okay, one of them's closed. And then Kara's like, oh my god, you know Rory! She said, yeah, a matter of one time, Miami, all right with men. Jump stop, what's your name? What's your name? Emu? Emu? Like the bird? It's not. It's not. Salsa?

Salsa. I love salsa. I love Mexican. I love Mexican. I don't eat moly because I don't eat rodents, okay? Emu? Emu? And he's like, Amo.

He's like, oh, what? Nationality. Are you? He's like, what national are you he's like American oh Where's that Like called Asian American or American American Okay, so Then Durinda comes in And she's like

And Durinda's first of all Durinda looks really unhappy in this whole scene and she's like, I don't like you, me, me, me,'m just We're gonna live as you say I just really can't go for ammo So Ramona she finds reds go look at okay, you're just gonna have no no no no you can no look at all this then This is like right it's like and then the tiling on the ceiling Yeah I on a piece you oh my god. I love that guy Rod it's like, and then the tiling on the ceiling. Yeah. I own a piece. Rodney, you, my God, I love that guy. So you guys, I'm speed dating right now. I'm like, oh my God, the faggot's cute.

Faggot's cute. So Ramona sees the red scarf. And honestly, I can't put a passer because all the guys in this thing, they're like, people I met at my Burmutsva. You know, this is right. Also have them look like Ina Garten's husband, Jeffrey. Let's be honest. I love Jeffrey, but I wouldn't want to run into him

in a speed dating situation. If you don't know who Jeffrey is, shame on you. Yeah, there are some horrifying men in this thing. Basically, the men are like, they're like, they're like, they're all from my synagogue. They're all from my synagogue. Anybody over 50? It's like central casting, but the men... They're all from my synagogue.

Anybody over 50, and they... They're all from my synagogue. It's like, so? Did you doven yet today? They're like... Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- and have to like try and make something worth it. Speeding of the dead. So Ramona's like, hello, red scoffing. Hi, so she's got, she's very, she's very quiet. She's like, so, well I have a house in the Hamptons, not on the highway, because I'm a maven.

Okay, point at the beach, okay, it's on the water. Because you know, there's water at the beach. What sort of beach does not have water, okay? Very smart, okay, I understand geography. There's fish in the water too, that's on the water because you know this water at the beach with some fish shells. Now water, okay, very smart. Okay, I understand geography. It's fish in the water too. That's how fish work. They're in the water, they're not on the land.

It's really pretty. It's really pretty, pretty beach with water with fish and boats. They've got so many boats. They've got boats in the water, okay? What's the shells and sea boats of sea and sea shells? What are the shells? It's not always a fish in the shell though. You should know should know that when you find a shell you might not find a fish Okay, when time to sit in my house in the beach and the phone ring and I picked up a shell and I said hello

Look her flirty everyone's like yeah Ramona is such a good flirt. I'm like this is the cringiest said I've never seen him I mean I've never met anybody who said, I on a house that I didn't immediately get a boner for. It's like human instincts. Like, that's how boners work. You hear house, and you're like, boom. But Ramona, I was like, oh my God. My penis literally detached and ran.

I was running down the hallway. It's like, come back here. I might need you one day. Yeah. She's like, so back here. I might need you one day. Yeah. She's like, so tell me about you. Yes, so my daughter is very attractive. Do we add like my drinks? Like I like to have three drinks.

I like to have a short drink. And then a told drink, the two loins and some tequila. And then a memesized drink. And that could be gentleman's choice, okay? And then Durrindo is doing your favorite thing, where you see people talking, like, Look at us, be dating! Or whatever, and then you see Durrindo

in the background talking to Rory like this. And then you see Durrindo in the background, talking to Rory like this. Pointing. Durrindo's drunk talking, pointing, and her earrings are just like And it was a great study of contrast because then we cut to Sonia who's just like do I smell like mouthballs I feel like I smell like mouthballs

This is no Valentino and just happened to pull out that has mouth balls This actually isn't a cutout. It's just been eating the way, all the moths. I want to kill them, but they're so helpful around the house. I'm in Durin to go, when you get in, look at everybody's taking the risk. Get out. Oh, and me, can't get in, see,

I thought that was Adam. And Cara goes, maybe Adam's dead. And they started cracking up. And then Cara all say, oh shit, come back! Come back! Here's nothing to make you get back together with an axe like going to a night like that. I mean, that was like, I then just cuts back to Ramona.

I was so sick, this guy was like this. And she's like, I'd love to entertain. I love to cook. I love traveling. Florida. The islands. Any island. I've got any islands. Yes. Sepp Datton. Aspen.

LA. 56th Street. 57th Street. 58th Street. 59th Street. I love them all. I'll just go anyway. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mama, Kielago, Montego, oh baby, baby, why don't we go to the polka nose? We're a Ramona really leans in with her. It's like aggressive. She does like I wish I could cross my legs I see those like cross it, but she leans in like oh, yeah, yeah

Get off me. She does this thing She's like and she does like a she like she likes to stick her like lower like lip under her teeth and really be. She's like, yeah. And she does that like, she likes to stick her like lower, like lip under her teeth, so really be it. She's like, I'm told my most attractive quality on my front two teeth. I like when she acts like she's in the silent baby, but you can still hear her. She goes like this.

She's like, I think she's a really bad actor in the musical. She goes like this. She's a really bad exterent of musical in the background. Yeah, like, you know. You know that they're recording the sound on this. Well, that's why she's so good on lip sync battle, okay? Oh, God. My milkshake brings all the milkshakes to the milk. And that's why they're like, we're like milkshakes.

Speaking of bad chorus people, that is romantic. When you're in musical theater. That's some of us have been in our past. They tell you in a standing in the background when you're supposed to talk. They're like, you're not really supposed to talk Ronny who got damn idiot. Like, but, like just move your mouth

and to yourself say watermelon better flies. Or whatever. For me it was Rubar. It was Rubar. Rubar, Rubar, Rubar, Rubar. Watermelon, Rubar, Rubar, Rubar, whatever. So that's a remote out. That's a remote out.

There was like, my milkshake rings a lot of the boys to the yard and Ramona's like, who Bob, who Bob, who Bob. You know what show I'd love? I'd love who Bob's drag race. So Bethany walks in, of course, like the gray cloud on speed. I mean, speedating's already kind of a gray cloud,

but Lisa pretending it's sunny and then she walks in, she's like, I know this guy, I know him, yeah. I'm at a is already kind of a great cloud, but Lisa pretending it's sunny and then she walks and she's like, ah, I Not Scott got I know yeah, yeah, I'm at a Miami. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he likes me the most yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I met him in Miami. Yeah, the pot thing is yeah, yeah, yeah, what are you with you? Hi? Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, we're done. Okay, three, two, one, we're done. Okay, three, two, one. All right, I finished it. Good to see you, Red Scarf. Yeah, I remember that for Miami. I'm like, who wears a red, who wears a scarf in Miami ever?

What the hell is going on in Miami? I'm telling you it's something. Mark, Mark, oh, Red Scarf. Mark of now. So yeah, that's what he's like. I am a plat, yeah, yeah. I saw saw my am and he said, well, so you hear like the here I am seeing him and like here I am There's someone I know like it's crazy like speed eating How do you call it speed? I know I'm already have with that speed. I know him speed

People talking one lady's head crazy like seriously crazy So let's see, Tim says like, Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm not supposed to date, I'm a scum! I'm a Southern girl, I need to be wind and dine. What are you doing here? And then the shady ass producers cut to her, Frenching Scott on the...

I think, oh, Scott intends his first date. I love some shady producers. So then it's just Derinda intends the single girls. I'm like, you know that, or the together girls, both of them are always broken up with the white their boyfriends. I have a very loose, they're very loose. I'll just stop there.

You know what I mean? I don't think that's what happened with Durinda. What happened to Durinda? She was there as the one who was together. She wasn't speed dating. It was Durinda. Yeah, she was just watching. Yeah, she was just watching. So she and Tinsley just watched. They're just standing there and they walk by. This is like one sad guy. It's like just standing here like, I was told to come here tonight. So he's just standing there and Durinda just looks at him.

She's like looking at Tinsley like, and she goes, she's coupled, she's coupled, you need to go a couple. Get out of here, get out, shoot, shoot, shoot. It's like, okay. She's coupled, she's coupled, moving. I cannot believe John didn't show up. That was the biggest surprise is that John did not show up at this. So then we start seeing all these dates, and they're hilarious.

And this guy tells Sonia, I want to get to know you. And she's like, oh my god, look at your hands. You have ready skin. I grew up with ready skin. You grew up with that? It's a girl, right? It's like, she's the only one who could like, neg someone and then make it like a bonding moment Like oh my god, you have horrific breath. I always have horrific breath

And I like that carol sits down this guy named Dwayne and he's like nice to meet you. He's like So who are you? I was like oh my god. Is this what you women have to deal with on a regular basis? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm the woman with fingerless gloves in four bases of two loves from Adam. I also compare and they dog me baby with a guy named Tramp and another gay guy down the hall with. I don't really ever like to lock my door in, And I'm really, I really like the lock my noise And I'm really not gonna get serious He's just, he's just hanged himself Yeah

Speed, it's called speed daddy And then we, I was gonna say, then we go back No, no So then we cut back to Ramona with the red scarf And now she's doing, she's being very over. She's sitting there, now she's got her legs crossed, and now she's just rubbing her ass. She's just going like this.

I don't even know what speed dating is. What speed dating? I mean, I have a lot of energy. Wink, wink, wink. That took a lot of energy to wink just like, look at me touching my butt. That's a lot of energy to wink just like, look at me touching my butt. That's a lot of energy. I was working out with Debra this morning.

A lot of energy, okay? It's working out with Debra, a lot of energy. It's when I lost my foot. So then, Rory comes over, because like, Bethany really does put the speed and speed dating. You know what I'm saying? What are you doing? What are you looking at? What do you want? What do you guys? Like like seriously I have to do every day like seriously

I'm a girl your guy big deal like what am I doing my Georgia Roger like which one is it? I mean I'm a kiss girl. We want to do okay? Like oh my god. You're hurting so Rory comes over and she's like okay, let me jump start some conversations here, okay? Now if you have the prior to Beth me tell me how you're gonna prioritize Okay, let me jump, start some conversations here. Okay? Now, if you have to prioritize, Bethany, tell me how you're gonna prioritize sex, food, laughter, and love. You're something. And Bethany goes, ah, laughter, food, love sex.

I'm like, yeah. I think food and sex both lose in this equation. I'm just gonna go out on the limb. Sounds like people places and things, if you ask me. All things I'm not allowed to do anymore. So Luanne, meanwhile, is here. I'm not allowed to do it. So Luanne, believe it or not, is actually in this scene

and she is like horrified, probably because at this point, she's already horrified probably because at this point she's already dating a regent but so she's just sitting there and she's just like so bored and she's sitting there with a guy and she's just sitting there like this. You be the guy, you be the guy. So how long have you been not breathing through your nose? Hey. Hey.

That's awesome. Hey, Debraan. What'd you do today? Well, I was rehearsing for my cabaretia, which I have, I was cabaret. I don't even know what that means. Really? Oh, really? You know what a cabaret means?

So, speed dating, more like speed, defensiveness. And then it comes back to Bethany, you say, Yeah, yeah, food textbook pizza, pizza love textbooks, you know what, pizza. It's like like sex like even when it's bad. It's good. And the guy goes I am a pizza place Is it a hot so So now we go Is it hot your pizza hot? Yeah, so so then we cut to, now, I mean, this guy,

this guy with a red scarf, he really has patience. His scarf is the worst. Also, I think he has one of those holes in his throat that he's covering with his scarf. He's actually dead. He's actually dead. His head has been chopped off. And that's why if you pull out the scarf, it rolls off.

He's like the lady who works behind the window at Beetlejuice, you know, on the guy or whatever. He's like, oh, I love to juice. Because he never says any, I think he says like two words. He's like, eh. Eh. Well, he does at this point

so I'm talking about his parents. And he's basically like, so I have a father and I'm like, oh, I love this story. Tell me more. Can we, you're a fight good father? Tell me about your father. He's like, well, I have a father and I also have a mother. Oh, I love this story. Tell me more. Can we? Your brother. Tell me about your father. He's like, well, I have a father, and I also have a mother.

Oh, mother. Wow, great story. Love it. Love it. Give away with words. You're going N.B. You're all, oh my god. So wonderful.

My sister had some mother who happens to look exactly like my sister, who's my daughter. Suck on that. He's like, uh, so he does know. He has no idea what to say. So he's like, well, they've been married 50 years. And so he's like, oh my god. It's like how long Carol's been like this week. Carol! I love this story. We should go on the moth.

So he's like, moth! The moth. So like, my god, you're a human. Oh my god. We've got Ramona, please do the moth. Okay, let's in here PBS. Okay, NPR reach out. Oh, so wait, hold on. Ramona is like unbelievable. How old are they? 50? 50. They've been married 50 years. Parents, what a story. Yes What is she doing and then Dorinda's across the room and she's like, yes, we call the thing And it is like that, but it's like a finger tapping Ramona's time

So tell me about your parents I'm smelling you with my tongue And I smell a successful small man in red squaw I like the way that smells sweet smell of success Like I need her to be in front of one of those giant hamster bottles where you just like do this and water comes out I know one of those giant hamster bottles where you just do this and water comes out. Okay. Well, that's how I stay in shape. I run on a wheel for 13 hours a day.

Okay. Okay. Sir Ramona's like, look at Ramona. I mean, Tim's like, look at Ramona. She has Google Y. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh, Jo-mo.

Okay, so during the like Russian Ramonini speed dating, he like went from a little kiddie before he can't see any tiny little bells. And then just cut your Ramona. And then, and then Dore, Rory is like, all right everyone, time to move on and Scarf was like, huh, time to move on. I didn't even realize I was speed dating. And I was like, so funny. He didn't realize he was speed dating. What a funny handsome man. So then we cut to Beth, so then later we get to Bethany with Red Scarf. She gets her turn. So I say, hey, Brian, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me Wait, I'm only here for you. Ha ha ha ha ha. O great. That is disgusting. Who would do that? I would be freaked out. Isn't there a better way that he can get in contact

with her than having to submit himself to like, a flirtation with Ramona at an event just so he can get to Bethany? Bethany's so inviting. He's like sitting in the couch across from her and he's like, I think, I think I should be closer to you. Like he's trying to be sexy, but Bethany won't let him. What?

Closer? What? Like what? You want me to give you a blood job? What's up? Like what am I supposed to do? You think all the way down my throat and choke on it? Like seriously?

What do you want? I'm like, so romantic. Yeah. I can't wait till you tell the story to your children. I know. So, but we also, before that, the best part also about Red Scar moving on to Bethany is that then Ramona was stuck with a bunch of does.

They're basically a bunch of Brad Garrett's. And she was just so disinterested and watching Ramona be disinterested was also equally as Funion's watching her flirt. Because she's like, all right, hey, so what's going on? Well, sorry, that was Bethany, but it's kind of like Ramona too. And the guy's like, right, hey, so what's going on? Well, sorry. That was Bethany But it's kind of like a monotone and the guys like hi, how are you? So like you know who cares who cares whatever Lloyd I'm Ramon hi hi yeah, so what do you do? Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, avery okay, huh? Okay, thanks. Thanks

See how's her my she has her eye on red scarf okay, and Bethany is gonna suck off, like Bethany is the most, they're also competitive, which I love. So Bethany's like, red scarf, ma'am, got my sacked him, you know, whatever. So this is just making Ramona crazier and crazier. So she's getting rude or enrudered everybody. So she walks up to the bar and it's like, my God, this guy's like, hey, hey, sexy, she's like shut up.

Okay, here's what I want. I want three glasses for that guy over there. He bought me a drink, so I'm a himadreak. And the guy's like, uh, I, what did he say? Well, here's the guy kind of shodder down. He's like, I think he's talking to Betsy. He's just, I don't care who's talking to Kate, but me a drink, no, I'm gonna buy him a drink.

How was it to get a tequila? Well, he a cake. But the most important part of it was the look of fear and urgency in her mind's eyes. Because she was basically, she's like, oh, I need a tequila because he got me a what? So we need a tequila right now. Okay, we gotta hurry up.

Oh my God. Get in the closet. She's getting a blowjob. Give me the tequila. She's getting in the tequila. I didn't think we'd do. Give me that. Give me the shnafs. the key. I didn't think we'll do. Give me that. Give me the snaps. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Hurry up. Uh. But before all that happened. It's all funny. Watching Ramona go crazy. And they're all looking at Bethany, like she's doing this great job flirting.

And Bethany is like, you're a horrible person. I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you. You're a stupid person. You're a stupid star. I'm gonna fuck you. You're a stupid person. You're a stupid star. Like, what sort of scoff is that? So meanwhile, someone's talking to Luanne, and she's just, this guy's like,

so I was in Ville for the holidays. And let me just go. Awesome. I love skiing too. Oh, well. He's like, well, what did you do for the holidays? She's like, ah, ah, they're hurt to something called baloney.

They're about to thrown in your head while you're in the system. Have you ever heard of mustard in a little square packet? I'm sure I'm supposed to think of that. We ever had one of those days where you go see a jazz singer in the hotel. The person you just got married with a year ago and you're with a polo player, who's your age? And next again, I go up to the wrong floor, because you're back, so I'm third-flooring with the fourth floor, and you look down, and you go inside a door, and it's not the right door, then he goes to find Julie, who has a cat, and you're along there, and you all

hear the meows, the security is there, I've never had that happen. Oh, my lord. So then Ramona does, there's one guy that wrote that, Ramona sort of likes. This guy who's like, so I'm 44. How old are you? She's like, I'm a lady, don't see my age. I want you, think I am, it's like, about my age. Oh! Oh my God, that compliment got all night.

What the best compliment got all night? It's like, Beth needs over there floating. And Ramona is still so mad, even though she just got complimented. She just got complimented, but Ramona is like totally over-compensating because Bethany's winning so she's like Look 44 Spires as she goes to the bar and gets that shot or whatever.

And she goes, Bethany, who's still like flirting like a jackhammer on a sidewalk. That's exactly right. I was like, so then Ramona comes up and it's like, she doesn't even get a good angle, you know? Like Ramona is so awkward. Wait, before Ramona even goes up, I'm so sorry. Ramona's probably gets this cocktail, and then there's this guy just standing at the bar,

and he's like, he's kind of like the straight version of what was Kerry Bradshaw's gay, that guy. Sure, no, stand, what is that? Stand for it. Okay. So he's just sitting there and he's like, so Ramona's like, give me the drink, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me.

And so this he's like, so Ram in me drink, hey? You got me a drink? I got you a drink. Oh! Oh! The plural amount is like a little duck always crossing the street. Yeah. It was an amazing move. That was totally ineffective.

And also who fights over Red Scarf guy because he's like not even cute. Sorry. He looks like he should be on a Toyota commercial or something, you know. Like driving confidently down a suburban street, you know. So then we start to get this trip with Carol who's like, Guess what? I'm gonna buy something. Sorry. Go ahead. You're doing very fast. I'm sorry. So very fast.

It's just my 47th year. I'm talking about. It's too important to overlook. So we're recording one. You're right. I am actually sorry. I'm normally the one that's looking at the time. You're actually right. No, you go ahead.

I only have like three more notes anyway. So Sonya is like, Sonya again, with the negging, she's like, she's talking to the guy with the ruddy hands and she's like, you know what I like about you? You're confident. I mean, you have a stain on your shirt, you don't even care. I mean, she does have gayness. Which is so true. I mean, they are just like flirting with that guy at the end of the bar at like 3 a.m.

It's just like a big, it's a big spill too. What did he spill? It was like a party. Like that's the kind of guy that eats spaghetti alone at the bar while he's hitting on people. Like who eats spaghetti, you know? He like has enough... I was so fast he used to go, she's like, yeah, you don't even be caring he goes I don't give a shit So yeah, I can tell haha

Okay, now you do your thing. Oh no, I'm done now dog just kidding By the way, I have to say for this of you. Thank you very much. You were here for the meat and creed earlier Notice I'm in a different shirt. Yeah, because I am wearing a white shirt And guess he's not a whole fuckingbeat and spaghetti by himself before a show. I knew it. I knew I would be covered in something. So I was like, I'm bringing a second shirt. Yeah. Well, whenever I learned, thank you, real housewives of New York. spaghetti is like the hardest because I always am like, oh, this is fun. I'm gonna twirl it around my fork. And then that like one piece of spaghetti comes whipping around, like a trebuchet is like

Why is the getty every single time spaghetti is a hateful fucker and we all know it I don't even know why we keep it in America. I know it's all that panic the fucking France just always laughing at us God I'm gonna have spaghetti in France flinging the sauce at you every single time. Okay, so Ramona So Carol announces that she's gonna plan something else, because really Carol is basically hanging on by the, you know, the hair of the chin at this point. She's just like, please keep me on this show. I have a dog, I co-parent, a dog. I have a boyfriend, kinda, I think he wants me back. Like she's really trying.

So she's gonna plan the trip, which of course is gonna be the most horrific trip this will be iconic yes and I like the way well I think they're talking about because tinsley's also I think has a role I think actually maybe tinsley organized it because tinsley was it tinsley because she knows someone you guys I wrote 20 pages of notes I don't even know who's saying butter is doing what no because tinsley knows someone with a house And so she is like so I was thinking about getting away and like, you know The creaming got a little messed up because all the hurricanes and stuff. I was like Bethany is right there So she's like when I have access to a house in Cartagena Columbia

So like what I'm just go there Is this the part where Ramona finds out whether going or not? I don't want to go too crazy. This is not the part where Ramona finds up with the Well first renders like and I don't know the back of land. Yeah, I don't know the bad stuff I like things that commercials like Bahamas and like Bahamas and Duff, okay, Iraq. I had to find place. Windex, what a town.

Like anywhere with the commercial, Durrindo will find. Is Mount Erie Lodge still open? Okay. I can't ride my head around that. So then, Ramona's like, caught up. What? Where's that? Been to the Bahamas? Honduras? Up, uptown.

You know, starts listing the places. And Tim's like, here, just look at the phone. There's pictures of Cartagena on the phone. It's the best thing. He's like, what is this? Island? She's no one's house. She's, that's the house.

That's the house. That's the, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! That's like doing something like... What do you call this dance move?

Cabbage Patch, Cabbage Patch. I was actually doing a dance move. Oh, Cabbage! What do you call this dance move? It's a kitty. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Charles and you've been chied up and fucking helpless. She's a car. I love cats. Charles, like, baby. You don't have to hand my ex on your fucking ass.

Thank you, some motherfucking artist. Going to say merbans on your ass, bitch. Go, yeah, help find! The problem is a totally different decade than everybody else. I'm like, I know that shooting's a little bit behind, but you guys have hashtags on this show, right? So then finally, Tinsley Gathers, everyone together. I was like, you guys were going to Columbia. You know, like, what the university in uptown?

It's like, no, the country. no the country under all standing there like all excited And then there's like Dwayne the guy from before just sitting nice them like like Sorry Dwayne it's just for the girls Dwayne's like Who says girls who said who's coming wait the man was like, oh wait, is John coming? He's like, no. OK, then sorry, it's girls only. It's too tropical for John.

And then Ramona just gets on a mechanical bolt. It's not there. And just rides us out. She just rides us out. Take a long time. That's a lot. Wow. Wow. I out. It took a long time. I love a man with a good head. I don't mean to like that, Carol.

And that brings us to the end of the run. That was the end of the run. You guys, thank you for letting us come here. Thank you for coming to our St. Louis show. We love you guys so much. Thank you for letting us come here. Thank you for coming to our St. Louis show. We love you guys so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh my God, a standing ovation. What? Thank you. Thank you very much. We'll see you next time. Blazing Deals, Boundless Options. It's Hot Grill Summer at Whole Foods Market from June 14 through July 4. Fire up the grill with quality cuts at the best prices.

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