Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Ya Flooze Ya Lose
Episode Date: June 9, 2019We're live in Minneapolis to laugh about the Real Housewives of New York trip to Miami. Can Ramona bag a new guy while dangling her ex husband as bait? Will Sonja survive the great fall of 20...19? Will Barbara get invited anywhere ever? Enjoy! To hear this week's bonus episode catching up with Southern Charm NOLA and Project Runway and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Nashville, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chaicago and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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We love you guys! The rabbits, the frogs, the ones you would crash It's for the new ones, the ones you would crash
The kids, the squads, the rabbits, the ones you would crash
Wow
Holy crap you guys, you're so crazy
Yeah
Minnesota
We were back there just cracking up with the little noises you guys were making during that music moment.
One of you was going like this. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Thank you so much for having us. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
This is my first, your first time also, being in Minnesota.
My first time leaving my goddamn house.
Yes.
So exciting.
Girl, we are seeing a murkah.
Yeah.
And I'm loving it.
You guys are so nice, I mean, that this was what they say is totally true.
It's so true.
We flew up this morning from Milwaukee,
and I swear to God it was the nicest flight
I've ever been on.
From place to place, because they were nice too.
And in that airport, I was like, what?
Let's eat something.
You can have sausage or cheese, okay?
And they say, every, effing place you stop,
it's like a big bin of cheese, you know?
Yeah, everyone on the flight,
there was like a lady who was like,
I'll take them middle seat, I don't mind.
I was like, what?
I'm having a habit.
The woman behind me, she sat in the wrong seat by accident
and the guy was like, I think you're in my seat.
She was like, oh, I'm so sorry.
So, so, so sorry.
He's like, no, don't worry, I'll take your seat.
I was lost him out.
He said, did you hear that lady?
I said, did she do that five times? Because I just kept going. Oh, I'm sorry. And I think she just kept sitting on the my seat. I lost my seat. He said, did you hear that lady? I said, did she do that five times?
Because I just kept, oh, I'm sorry.
And I think she just kept sitting on the wrong seat
just so she could say she's sorry to more people.
It was like everyone was apologizing on the airplane.
Like, you know, like, normal, every other flight we've been on,
I was like, fuck you, get out of my seat.
Oh, yeah.
You want to see what a motherfucker people are.
You fly, you know?
Everybody knows that.
People are horrible on your place
But anyway, it's really a little bit bumpy, right? It's really exciting to be here my friend my
My friend Nikki is here somewhere. Where are you Nikki? She's here somewhere. Oh, hi
Where are you, Nicky? She's here somewhere.
Hi, Nicky.
Oh, she's here.
And I got to, I walked on the Stone Arch Bridge today.
I have no idea the Mississippi River came up here.
That's crazy.
It's crazy.
Guess where I want.
No where.
I don't want to fuck an anywhere, okay?
I almost had them dolly my ass from the Uber into the hotel room. Okay, I did not walk in anywhere today
Anyway, I still ate I'm like a pack man. I will find something to jump on every inch of where I am
Like eating the eating the hotel key on the way up that
Delicious Like eating the hotel key on the way up there. The list is. Oh. So we're so excited to be here for this epic episode of Real Housewives.
Real Housewives New York.
Oh my god.
Wow.
Huh?
I was going to say, welcome to Watch Our Crappens.
A podcast.
But all the crap on Bravo, we love to watch.
Lucky all even got me metal straws.
I mean, come on, Matt.
It's time to save in the turtles.
Milak.
We can't just simply dive into Real House's mirror.
We have to get our cocktails right.
We got to be shit-faced.
By the end of this, I want Ben finging his head on the table and falling on the ground.
Yeah.
We have to make sure there's like some padding down here
for where we're going to play.
It's a mess.
Oh.
OK, so.
OK.
It's everyone ready.
Yeah, splash of water.
Keep it healthy, guys.
Does a reason I only look 43?
40 years old.
Okay.
You guys, this episode, we were like, oh, and thanks for this old maybe name tag, by the way.
Where are we?
Oh, there's 45 days.
It says, brownie, fun fact.
I love exercise.
Wow.
Burn that old maybe to the ground.
They told me that.
All right, so here we go.
So let's start with a little bit from last week.
Yeah.
We're officially dying.
Oh, look, there's sleep, darling.
It's gone.
Oh, Miami is so scotting me.
Oh, Miami.
Oh, Miami.
Oh, Miami.
Miami.
Oh my hair! Oh my hair!
My eggs over my hair!
My eggs!
My eggs!
The tensile song.
My eggs!
My eggs!
My eggs!
My eggs!
My eggs! My eggs, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Cabaret! Oh! It's a Cabaret! That's what I wrote down for Lou Ann's previously.
Cabaret, Cabaret! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah How would you be? I would never moment when they're not sober anymore.
And when you're there, it is epic.
You know, like the return to Satan,
the Tamra Barney return to Satan.
Like her face just turned red, her face is red,
her eyes kind of like turned into a little slit
and she's like, yeah,
take a cab, you have the kids!
Well, remember her last week making that bogeyto?
I finished, she takes him around.
And into my instant, I put some lime.
Taste, taste, taste.
The waiter's like delicious.
He's like, he's like, taste, taste, save me.
And taste just like, I can't.
Whoa, Tesh.
I'm usually gonna put up my clothes, okay?
Tash? Portesh, poor, poor, Tash.
Portesh. Tash. No, you see now we're gonna turn into Romanus.
I'm here.
Who even knows what it is anymore?
Romanus confuses you, you know? What even is it?
Tash, Tash like Pays.
I called him Tash. See, I remodeled him.
Don't tell me what to say. Tastes like paste. I called him Taj. See, I remodeled him.
Don't tell me what to say.
I mean, Sonya just waceth.
Get off your high horn!
Get off your high horn!
I'm gonna knock you out.
Sonya's gonna knock you out.
And then the epic replay of Sonia falling.
Gotta sleep! Gotta sleep!
Gotta sleep! Gotta sleep! Gotta sleep!
Gotta sleep! Gotta sleep! Gotta sleep!
Gotta sleep! Gotta sleep!
Alright, she won't sleep.
Don't touch my leg! Don't touch my leg! Alright, so I'm in sleep.
Don't touch my leg.
Don't touch my leg!
And it's there, Sonya doing a face-plant on the table onto the floor where this episode actually begins.
So, get her in.
I'm so sorry for the butt crack.
Actually, I'm sorry to the world.
Everybody saw my ass crack today. It's been a lot of you.
That poor airplane. I'm sorry to the world. Everybody is on my ass crack today. It's been a lot of you.
That poor airplane.
So Sonia and one of the most epic pratfalls
in the history of reality TV.
Hey, it's bam!
Matt just a fall on her face while in a seated position.
Installados.
Yeah.
And upstairs, Tinsley's like,
oh, did something fall down there?
Oh!
Then they cut that and Sonia's still like, did something fall down there? Woo! Then they cut that and zone you still like,
I ain't asking that.
I'm not gonna...
I'm not gonna...
I'm not gonna...
That means only advice is...
Take up your shoes.
Take up your shoes.
Take up your shoes.
Take up your shoes.
Take up your shoes.
Dangerous. Take up your shoes. It's like the grandma Take up your shoes. Come on. Take up your shoes. Take up your shoes. Take up your shoes. Take up your shoes.
It's like the grandma advice, you know, like when something goes wrong, like what, like in
my big factory quetting, it's like you know the wind decks, Bethy's version.
Take up your shoes. Take up your shoes. Take up your shoes.
Take up your shoes. Take up your shoes.
Take up your shoes.
One cancer. Take up your shoes. Take up your shoes.
Take up your shoes. Take up your shoes.
So that Ramona, that we see Ramona observes, and she's just like going through her suitcase.
Whoa. Whoa. I can't find my wall. We see Ramona upstairs, and she's just like going through her suitcase. She's like, whoa, whoa!
I can't find my wall.
What was that noise?
It sounded like Sonya just fell on her face onto the Travertine's voice.
Oh well.
I'm still fuck back to make a bandit with it!
I wonder if I left my wallet with my best friend slash do I have a drink?
Taj Mahal!
Okay!
Did you guys read that Taj?
Taj!
God damn it!
Taj!
Taj!
Sorry, whatever, like we're about...
It's like we're trying to be say Taj wrong.
That's what you need.
Me more wasted at a live show.
Uh, did you guys know?
You know, in like five minutes,
I'm going to be to rend it.
You saw that poor.
You think,
Fuck you,
Fuck you.
Give me a money back.
Give me,
demanding a refund from you.
Uh, but did you guys read the tape Do me Demanding a refund from you
But did you guys read that tage is not even a waiter there? He's a production assistant Oh
And he went on he went on something
Oh, I think it's his LinkedIn and he's like hello
Harmtage some of you are asking me what was it like being on this show? Yes, that was me.
I was looking to become a production assistant.
And so I took this job, I was like, oh my God,
I feel worse for him knowing he's a production.
Like you think this is your big TV job,
and it's just getting shat on by Romano for a week, you know.
That sounds great.
I don't like talking like that here.
So those are nice.
I know. No creative or rude way. It's a really, so's just gross here. I don't like talking like that here. So those are nice. I know.
Don't know how creative it is.
A room in a soda.
So then, Sonya is down on the ground.
Beth is trying to get her tikka shoes off.
And then Barbara lumbers over.
She's like, ah.
Should we call the paramedics?
So now we've got Bethany and Barbara.
Sonya's just like a wet sack, she's like a sack of noodles.
She's going, yeah.
And then you've got them on both sides doing ER.
Yeah.
Oh my god, she didn't fall apart, Barbara.
She found, she found, she found, she found.
She didn't breathe, she found, she found, she found,
she found, she found, she found, she found,
she found me, she found me, she found me,
she found me, she found me, she found me,
she found me, she found me, she found me,
I saw, she found me, she found me, she found me, she found me, she found me, she found me, okay., show me then. Show me, show me, show me, show me then. I saw, I saw head. Show me, I saw.
Show me then, show me.
Okay.
This is what I remember.
You know what I won't see anything at all.
How about that?
And they're checking up on Sonia.
But it's like trying to find a specific ring
on a cut tree, you know?
Like, you know that there's bumps from like 20 years ago
that are just kind of filled in. They're like cocked in, you know that there's bumps from like 20 years ago that are just kind of filled in.
They're like, copped in.
She looks like Thanos, yeah.
So, she's...
So now they finally get Sony and to her bed.
Where, you know, like, that's like her both natural state.
And now she could be like,
Mmm!
She has to stick with her hands.
She like always has like an invisible remote, you know?
So...
...Jeopardy's not coming on.
That's a must-effic picture of Sony when she was in bed in a T.R.A.
And her...
And her readers on, like Goddron.
So Sony has now gone from belligerent to where we've expected her to be all along, which
is wanting to make out with Bethany.
I just want to kiss.
I just, I can't get a Bethany, can I just get a kiss?
Take off the shoes, seriously.
Take off the shoes.
Oh.
Take off the shoes.
She's like licking her butt.
She's like licking her butt so gross.
And Bethany is like, that's it.
You know what?
Barbara said, call the paramedics.
I said, fuck, you shut up, Barbara.
You're a nittyy.
It take up to shoes.
But I'm going to call the paramedics, all right?
So I'm the better person here, OK?
So you know, you got to call the paramedics,
you know, because I thought you always
see if those stories of someone falls
and then they die in the night, all right?
I just got to know 100% told you it's going to live.
So they call the paramedics.
Meanwhile, I fall over in Mexico and no one calls anyone.
How rude!
How dare you!
How dare you!
I know, and Lou Anne is still, you know, she's just stomping around her room like a giraffe.
Don't jump!
This waiting for so many comments and be like,
I'm sorry, Lou Anne.
We're sorry. Yeah, she's got like a bow on waiting for her big apology and be like, I'm sorry, the man, we're sorry.
Yeah, she's got like a bow on waiting for her big apology.
See, that's it.
My aneurysm could blow any second from that Mexico fall.
I've had enough about your aneurysm.
What about my anmiasm?
Your aneurysms all, I, I, I, you rise him and you rise him and you rise him
So sonny's like yeah, I can't make out you're scratching my bridge
He's turning into Durinda like that's the only way like that's the level of drunk that everyone is tonight. They're just all at Durinda
So then yeah, they're basically all rolling all over the bed. It's we could do it
Yeah, they're basically all rolling all over the bed. It's I wish we could
Just lie on the floor. I don't know how you're gonna do. Yeah
Yeah, you just I'll just be Beth. I'll be Bethany pacing
All right, okay, okay, okay, the parents are very soon. I'm one of them's like this. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
I get in the bed with you.
The Tsar, it's like the Tsar retirement.
It's just so lame, you know.
Because then in the middle of this Ramona comes in,
she's ready to go out to her.
She's going out with Tixley.
They're going to be going to that hot place that's there.
That's what she said last time.
I'm like, no, Barbara, you can't come.
Because we're going that place. That's cool and hot. So she comes in, she's wearing's there. That's what she said last time. No, Barbara, you can't come because we're going that. Place, that's cool and hot.
So she comes in and stays wearing a sweater.
She's wearing a sweater over there.
Over her boobs.
Whoa, ready?
Go.
Did you fall in her yourself?
Well, it's nice knowing you.
I'll be on the joy.
Bye.
Yeah, it's like, nothing you could do best, Zonya, okay?
They'll talk.
Just laughing. Who you gonna do best thing you could just, Bethesonia, okay? They'll talk, you're spacking.
Who are you gonna do?
Bethesonia, just go out.
Yeah.
So Bethany is like, Bethany's like,
here, you be Sonya just pass out on my lap.
She's like, you know what, Ramona, just go out.
Just go out.
Just go out, we don't know.
And while she's talking to her, Ramona,
she's pulling out Sonya's hair. She's like, okay, just go out, just go out, we don't get it. And while she's talking to her mom, she's pulling out the sonia's hair.
She's like, okay, just go out, just go out.
We're gonna donate this to Locks-A-Lup, okay?
All right.
Okay, okay, hey, hey, Sonia,
how many fingers am I holding out?
Oh, geez, we're losing that.
Three tenslies.
Yeah. I can tell that it's tenslies because they're really that. Free tens please. Yeah.
I can tell that it's tens please because they're really skinny and they don't have eggs.
Okay, now this is serious.
Who is president?
Liza. Liza. Liza Clinton.
I'm gonna need you. I'm gonna need you try harder now, Sonia.
What was...
Who's president?
That lady who made Carol cry.
That's so funny.
Remember Carol really wanted that lady to lose me,
that lady won't I?
I'll be giving you one more shot, Sonia.
You got to nail this one.
Otherwise, we're starting to get right to the morgue, okay?
Pickles! Okay, I'll, you got to nail this one. Otherwise, we're starting to get right to the morgue, okay? Because?
Okay, I'll accept that.
I'll accept that.
And it passes.
That was the most intubullly it turns.
I need to get a Leotard.
I'm going to get a Leotard, or just like a good one, the good solid onesie.
So I can't with this too much. It's like organizing chunk around buttons.
And it's too much going on.
Girl.
So, uh, so Ramona heads off.
She's going out.
She's like, whatever.
And so then the paramedics arrive.
And the paramedics do not want to have anything to do with this.
Girl, these are like Jerry Springer paramedics.
They're like, don't want to be seen.
They're like, in witness protection.
They're like, they snarfed on some mobsters when years ago and like I'll do something
I'll just be like a paramedic and I'll live a safe life and they're like fuck
Sonny is like do they even have faces?
Yeah, they're like did somebody for
It's basically Chris Samuels from Real Housewives of a Dumb-A-Roy!
Somebody's here!
Somebody stole my golden tooth!
You can't help us from behind the seat when it's only your shadow, you know?
We are here to take your vitals and to blow the whistle on some corporate crime.
So that's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, am I, am I opinion, am I opinion what happened?
Is she tripped?
As, am I opinion, she messed the table.
Barbara, anything to say, Barbara?
Barbara's like, what have I fucked you?
All right.
Team, I'm team table, team table.
Nobody listens to me.
I mean, that's a one good thing about fillers, you know? You can just bang your damn head on a table.
So I'm just fine.
Like, so he's literally fine.
She seems better after she banged her head on the table.
I like the paramedics must've been like these bitches.
Like, you called us over because someone fell out
out of their chair and might've hit their head.
You're in fucking Miami, okay?
There's a guy with a machine gun down the street
like about to shoot a little girl until she gives her a
volley pass. So they said then they started to check her Sonya's vitals and Bethany, he just was going, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good, that's good. That's good, that's good. You're doing it, you're doing it. I like what you're doing, I like your work.
I like your work.
But my theory is that it was really Bethany,
like none of the paramedics would come
because they heard it was real housewives.
So they just said Bethany ever and fuzzed out her face
because they slowed down her voice
because the guy even talks like Bethany.
He's like, we need to check our vitals.
We need to check our vitals.
We need to check our vitals.
What's the matter?
What's happening? What's going on?
That would also explain why they had skinny girl saline solution
Sony is like
Why text the Mark and ladders You're hot! You're hot! Why does it touch the mark in the letters?
Touch them.
So then we cut to Ramona and Tinsley and they're leaving and there's this ambulance out there. Ramona's like,
what is that?
I thought, fucking Ramona doesn't know what an ambulance is.
And then she goes, what's that?
Are they having a party across the street?
Like, she's not even there.
There was tens of points at the ambulance in their driveway.
She's like, oh my god!
I know it's a big party across the street, right?
Man, there's an ambulance.
I'm not gonna say, you know what?
I've got a car accident one time.
Guess what? I didn got a car accident one time. Guess what?
Didn't call an ambulance.
Whoa, this one reminds me this one time,
when I was a little girl.
And I went into the woods and I tripped and I hurt my ankle.
And I was like, someone called the ambulance.
And Joe, the partsmith said,
you better call the ambulance.
And to this day, I certainly understand it, okay?
I'm sorry, but what's a Wambulance?
So then we get Luan, who is just in utmost particular.
Wait, wait, before Luan, before Luan, sorry.
Oh, they got to me, sorry.
So after Ramonis is like, no, not the party,
we have an ambulance in our driveway,
then he turns his like, that looks really scary.
Oh, is this our Uber?
Okay, cool.
And then, and then, then we just cut to the paramedics,
like, Pricking, Sonia's finger, and she goes,
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Rendo!
Oh, Riddah!
Like this will just be a small prick man. How much money do you make? All right, I bet plenty. Okay, so yeah She's screaming and so they went but I mean true, you know, truth and comedy. Yeah
So they I like to you guys just sticking up for Sony over there. There's a little
They, uh, I like the you guys just sticking up for Sony over there. There's a little, uh!
Oh, she's the same.
We have an uh, section, which I live for.
She's the season's one.
So, uh, she's the season's one.
MVP.
I think so.
Oh!
Or amputee.
It's like, that was dark.
That was dark.
I got dark.
Okay, so we get Luans per turb.
And you know Luans best because she does her back hair shake.
Well Barbara came and told me the paramedics were there.
After everything Sonia said to me, I just can't go down there. I just can't. I just couldn't look at her.
Barbara told me that Sonia was on her last breath, and the paramedics were there,
and they were saying, this is it, girls.
Say your goodbyes, and I said,
where are they going to say their goodbyes to me, right?
I just couldn't look at her.
So hurtful.
I could not do that.
I could not do that.
My line of my right, girls. Instead of them'm gonna cut back to Sonya with the medic, and he's like,
are you on any medications?
I'm Sonya just posse-like.
No.
But I am allergic to test minds.. Oh, well that solves everything.
Explain so much about Sonya, doesn't it? Good Lord. We've seen your basement.
It's like the sandals for dustmites. Yeah, her brain sandals. Her brain is just leaking out of her ears at this point.
And the doctor again is like, so no medications.
And she's just like, no.
Does brown eyes count as a medication?
I'm Beth and he's like, I'm really
here to sound just people don't look like she's taking everything
And I you know, I can't wait to shut that up the way it's ass, okay?
Because that's not just something you run around saying about some of the terror drugs. I'm like oh really?
Hey John, you want to blow some lines?
Had to me need a C-ray. Are you okay? You on something during the hey?
You want you and John want to go downstairs and blow some rarer?
Okay, Bethany. Yeah
I want to go down stand plump and round! Okay, Bethany.
Yeah.
Good, I love a good hypocrite.
Because that's when I know that I found a sister.
Yeah.
You know?
So, uh, so then we then go over to, uh, this bar where Ramona is like stuck on this date
with Tinsley, basically.
She's like, oh.
Hey, all right.
Sad lady, what do you want to know for me?
Whoa!
They have really good drinks here. Yeah
Same that one who's never been here or even known what this restaurant never was
What's doing that thing when she's when she's like how did a bar to that?
I love when she like randomly remembers that she's trying to start a lifestyle branch
She's like whoa. This is their signature drink, okay?
Yeah, this is signature drink.
And it's like a frozen something.
It's a frozen drink.
I don't know what she's talking about.
But Tinsy's like, I just want to beat up with y'all.
I don't want to sound super annoying.
Everyone's like, too late, too late.
But I'm just going to say this now about myself.
From what I was like, oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
I was too late to get Barbara.
Oh, okay.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
I was too late to get Barbara.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
I was too late to get Barbara. Oh boy.
Oh boy.
I was too late to get Barbara.
Oh boy. Oh boy.
Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. I was wondering what was going on. There was like a low rumble on it turned into dorenda.
You got a wap wap.
It's like, yeah, Miami with man Scott.
It's like, oh, geez, here we go.
It was like the last thing Ramona wants to hear, you know.
But I wasn't beaten to Miami without him.
Remember when we went on a fun trip to Columbia?
I was like, I'm not gonna mention the fact
you took us on that boat that almost got us killed.
It was the worst trip I ever seen.
Never seen a house that ugly,
and it was way worse than the house I found here on Miami, okay?
Hi.
Say any of that, not.
It's got my signature drink.
Signature drink.
Remotus, signature drink.
Remotus, not even big attention,
because Tinsley's going on about Miami and everything.
She's like, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Oh, was this your place?
Uh-huh.
Cool.
Yeah.
Every.
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah.
Because Tinsley's just going over every trip that they've been on and Scott sent her flowers.
Yeah.
So she's like, remember that time you sent me flowers?
Remember that time we were coming down the escalator in the sacks and you sent me flowers.
Everyone was like, oh my god, stupid bitch, I'll send you flowers.
I can send you flowers, okay?
And by flowers, I mean a pile of twinks, just as good, okay?
So my dad got my mother for Valentine's Day, okay?
So then Ramona starts doing like in the Yonla band's aunt moment, you know?
She uses prop comedy to like illustrate a life lesson.
So she's like, whoa, these are all the men in your life, okay?
You got disco-y, and disco-y, and disco-y, and disco-y?
Right, there's all the guys.
Yeah, okay.
Which one, the WANFUCT first?
Yeah, that's how you do this, okay?
Whoa.
So you really care about this guy a lot?
Boy, you don't realize?
Is that this guy totally wants to take me, OK?
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This guy has a red scarf, but this guy, one time,
tried me to play back him, and I might be trying to.
But then this guy, sorry, with that guy, who's so on your
slept with that guy at the same time, okay?
This guy is very intelligent, okay?
He's six foot four and he started a Toyota company, okay?
So he's like, here's all these guys, don't put all your eggs on one basket.
What?
What kind of example is this?
I'm so sorry, I forgot, you don't have any eggs left, okay? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? what? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? what? What? what? What? what? what? Thanks! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Okay, so then? That's John. So then the next morning, does John, you say?
I don't know what I said, okay.
John's a bread basket.
I think John's a bread basket.
No, John's that kind of queso, you know,
that melted cheese, but he's the Mexican cheese
where you're trying to dip your chip into it
and then like a whole club comes off and just,
that's John.
Yeah.
Pfft.
Pfft. Pfft. John. Yeah. I feel like Harry do you have in fun, honey?
I feel like Harry Doobens just a bucket you put under a leak.
Harry Doobens is the leak.
He's the leak and the bucket.
Found the leak? Whoa. So now is the leak. He is the leak and the bucket. Now the leak?
Whoa.
So now is the next morning.
And honestly, one of the greatest things that happened
all season was this moment.
We don't even see it.
We just hear it.
We just sort of see the outside of the house.
And we just hear, can we get some coffee?
Hey!
Hey!
Come on, man.
Come on!
Why is there no one here to help?
Nobody here to service what is going on here?
You got 35 men to help Sonia to bad, but not one goddamn person to make some coffee for a cab racer
Girl so then best of the intensely earned bed and best things like I can't get up. I can't get up. I was dramatic
It was traumatic.
It was traumatic, I can't get up.
I'm gonna say yeah.
And then Barbara's like, I'm going running.
It's like, keep running Barbara.
I'm going.
I'm going.
It's going.
More Barbara.
Barbara's dead nothing me to anybody.
And I actually kind of like Barbara. Barbara said nothing to me to anybody.
And I actually kind of like Barbara, but she's too normal for the show.
You can't take it.
You know what?
She is in the Cindy Bar Shop mall, which is just like, what am I doing here?
And we're like, what are you doing here?
Yeah, Cindy Bar Shop's like, these ladies are crazy.
And that was a vagina bedassler.ler. Yeah, so this show does here
So then uh Lewans doing go gosh like oh
I was in my quads
Oh
I guess I'll do the corpse those not that anyone would care if I died
I guess I'll do the corpse, though. Not that anyone would care if I died. Guess I'll have to be drinking alcohol for anyone to care about me, boy!
Ha ha ha ha!
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So she's like, well, after what I went through last night,
I have to ease myself into the women.
Oh.
So Dorenda comes into Sonja and Ramona's room to wake him up and she's like,
he's still keeping girls coming!
Hmm, it's the beautiful gay neighbor!
The beautiful gay three-year-old!
They're not good.
There's gonna be six episodes of law and order, S for you on.
Starting at two o'clock, you gotta get going girls.
Something Ramona, Sunni is like, Sunni,
I love how Sunni wakes up, because she's just like,
like she's in her own Cinderella dream, you know.
She's like, wake up, she's totally fine, you know.
And Ramona is like, you haven't met it since your last night.
Whoa! And she's like, she's like, you have met it, you last night. Whoa!
And she's like, she's like, oh, I know, because look at this.
Did they take blah?
I just remember going, ah!
And then she goes, well, you know, my Emmy-bice house is not really made for For slipping like a pony on all four legs from underneath am I right?
But I do know how to fall I learned from riding horses and then we see a flashback which I totally forgot about
Okay, I don't know if I'm turned on or scared right now.
But the way she fell was so funny because she really did like, do the splits, like she
faced mine and-
She was like a flying squirrel, you know?
Well, we have never set up so much in a show before.
I know, I'm exhausted.
Bye, the end.
Ugh.
You'd a bucket of cheese that I got at the airport now.
Oh.
So Beth me and Tinsley.
Beth me still saying, I had a traumatic mind.
It's like Beth me's just been saying this for 10 minutes now.
I know.
It was traumatic.
It was traumatic.
And Tinsley's like, he missed the wh. No, it was traumatic. It was traumatic. And she's like, he missed the win before you even got there.
That was traumatic.
Oh, the man doesn't want him to want him to want him to want him.
So that seems like how you should have just started.
She is screaming for coffee.
What's your cause?
What's your cause? You're just your dishes breaking. Oh my god! What more god?
You're just your dishes breaking.
Louis is like the Joan Crawford of coffee.
Huh, huh, got it?
Huh, huh, huh?
Anyone?
Joan Crawford of coffee, anyone?
Anyone?
I'll work in that all night, okay?
Huh?
No?
No one?
Okay.
So then Ramona and Sonia are in front of Veeris,
which is always the best play.
It's like they're always so surprised to see themselves.
You know, it's like...
Whoa!
Whoa!
Am I looking at every right now?
It's crazy!
Wow, really am Ageless.
Hi!
It's my god!
Look at us!
All this workin' it's working out.
Oh, wow!
Oh, wow!
Whoa, get away with this working out, it's working.
It's working out for bodies.
So, that's when he's like, ah, now what's down here
in the kitchen, now what's down here?
All right, I'm gonna make those eggs.
You know the eggs, and you do know the eggs,
because you know that the is making eggs to La France.
Just to piss off, Louan.
I know.
This was Louan's big moment to actually make eggs
to La France says and how people eat them.
And instead, you let Bethany do it.
Major fail, major fail.
Yeah, Sarah Mona's,
land up to my date.
Yeah, you know, talk about their bathing suits.
And Sony is totally fine.
She's like, oh my god, I'm totally fine
when I was everyone asking me.
I do have a bruise which is weird,
but what a fun night.
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm great, my friend.
So, so they're all talking about Luan,
how she just lives in a different world these days.
She's just like a narcissist.
And even Durrindo's like, you know, people tell me, you know, like, you have to be careful by that. Other side of Luan, how she just lives in a different world these days. She's just like a narcissist and even Durrindo is like, you know, people are telling me,
you know, like, you have to be careful about that.
Other side of Luan, I didn't want to believe it, but guess what?
You got to back it up because it's there.
It's there.
It's there.
You know what?
I always wanted help Luan.
I wanted help her.
It's what's right here, helping to boil it.
And she makes you feel stupid.
Have you ever helped a motel lady in practice?
What kind of help the motel lady in practice?
Three, and she said, thanks, sir.
She said, fuck you, I put you to the ground.
I don't know.
Fuck you, lady.
I don't know, lady.
I don't deal with that.
We laugh, it's just, well.
So Luana's just like sitting outside, waiting for someone to come out and talk with her.
So Ramona decides she's gonna do it.
So she goes out there.
Oh god, Luana's sitting.
Just Luana's sitting and drinking coffee.
She's on a sun chair and she's like this.
She's like, oh. She's just imagining Taze just like with a big branch.
She's just going like that.
She's just like glamorous, huh?
If I'm in a glamorous hub, I'm very angry.
I'm gorgeous.
She reminds me of like, hey, hey, doing.
She's like, hello.
Last night was pretty awful.
Don't you agree? Whoa, you know what? I thought it was pretty awful, don't you agree?
Whoa, you know what?
I thought it was pretty good, since you do yoga?
I thought last night was hilarious, we all meet fun of you, okay?
What part of it was awful?
And the man's like, well, I think the girl's getting trashed and then trashing me?
Oh, I think the girl's getting trash and then trashing me. Oh, being honest, pretty honest.
Ah!
Girlfriend just supposed to build you up, not tearing you down, baby.
Hey, that's a good song. Hit it, boys.
Three, two, one.
Girlfriends are supposed to lift you up.
Girlfriends are bitches who don't come to my cabaret.
I now play the bongos.
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.
Thank you.
So she's like, well, I think they're jealous of my success.
And everybody goes, oh no, the wee, I don't think that.
I don't know.
I don't think that, I don't know. I don't think that's it, okay? Sometimes I feel like I just talk in circles, but then I remember it's because I live in a roundhouse.
Well, so I love what I do, personally.
I finally found something I love.
I don't need to love that you love that, not really.
No, you don that. Not really.
You just want to rip me down.
After falling on my face, all you do is rip me down.
Down, down, down.
Oh.
Oh.
The way I am, whether you were successful or not,
you would always want to rip you down, okay?
And then we see flashbacks, we're just like,
you all want to rip me down,
and we just need flashbacks and people go,
like, I would never want to date anyone you dated.
You take it, you take it, you take it.
Lwam's just sitting there at the table, like,
so you're going, you always fuck. So you're always fucked my car.
You're always fucked my car.
And they're only going, you sleep with anything.
Yeah, you sleep with anything.
And that's coming from someone who sleeps with jam.
I mean, they also don't realize I'm trying to stay super wink and you're getting wasted.
I could be around people who drink, I can't be around sloppy drunks, or you Ramona ever.
You know what they do?
They automatically go to the counters.
If I do something then I'll like, oh, the counters are so fancy.
Well, they have to hide behind something
and they're not in support of me.
I was like, is this a monologue you wrote all night?
You have had all night to write this monologue, man.
They don't want me to do well.
I mean, why did they treat me the way they did last night?
Did you see what happened to the table?
You blind Ramona.
I mean, she's basically like a soap opera star,
which I love.
A great soap opera villain.
You what?
Maybe I am blind.
What?
Whoa.
The way I can't see you.
I can't see your giant pumpkin head.
This is crazy.
This is crazy. I'm feeling ravine. pumpkin head. This is crazy. This is crazy.
I'm feeling ravine.
Rocks.
Feeling rocks.
And something rubber.
That's my face, Ramon.
It could jammed off my face.
Sorry.
OK.
I guess he just had a bone to pick with you.
She's like, oh, bone.
So she goes, Sonya, every time I see Sonya, she's drunk.
Oh.
I can't talk to someone who's drunk.
You know what I'm saying?
And Ramona's like, mm-hmm.
Just so you know, happy I was at 11.30 a.m. today.
So she's like, I can't watch Sonya spiral down into darkness.
Barbara told me she fell on her face.
Do you know how lucky?
How lucky she is that she didn't she fell on her face. Do you know how lucky? How lucky she is
that she didn't hurt herself on the table and kill herself before she could see my next show?
I learned the bongos!
Do you know how lucky she is? She didn't hit the table and die.
It's like she did hit the table.
If anything died, it was the table.
It's only a fine.
And Ramona's like, why didn't you check on her?
She's like, no, I didn't check on her.
After what she did to me, why would I check on her?
Who checked on me?
You okay, Lou?
Everything all right?
Lou, did you bring a bottle of vodka to your room?
And trust me, I don't want to.
And one more thing, you're all fired.
It's like, whoa, wait a minute.
Lou Ann is like peak.
Lou Ann.
She is out of control.
As you know, if somebody said,
Hey Lou Ann, did you bring a bottle of vodka to your room. She'd be like,
how dare you! Where's the trust? I'm gonna kill you all.
Yeah. I'm gonna bring Sonia to my AHA meeting. I was like, okay,
in the way. So then I had a kitchen, bed, and he's like, ah, Sonia,
do you know the president is? Clinton?
Okay, good, you're back.
All right, so can I ask you what you drank last night, Sonia?
She's like, oh, I just drank those things.
You know, those things they gave us.
What do you call it?
What do you call it when you take a bunch of Zanex and blend it
with a bunch of percussed and put it in some rum?
Yeah, that clear stuff, stuff. That is delicious.
Vegetables, basically.
It's a habit.
All the time in San Trope.
Some V8.
It's delicious V8.
So now the question that's on everyone's mind.
Where's Barbara?
Oh, God.
So Bethany, Bethany is like trying to sound reasonable and she's like, you know what?
You know what? I don't think she's that one with us, you know?
I think that maybe Barbara's like one of the girls in my daughter's class, who just feels she's at the wrong lunch table, you know?
Maybe this isn't her vibe, you know what I'm saying?
She's just like a petty little girl that no one likes in school.
That will never go anywhere in life, ever!
Oh shit, I forgot I left her in the locker.
Hey, she could get left her in the locker.
Hey, could you get Bob right in the locker?
Solly Wands, back outside, the Wands, I'm like,
well, all I'm thinking of asking Sony if she wants
to just come to an AA meeting, you know.
You can't lead a horse to water,
but maybe you can't get a, she's not drinking.
You know what I'm saying?
Maybe she'll come.
Ramona said, did she say it's discord?
What did Ramona say?
It's discord.
Works for me.
I knew that.
She probably remembered a word from the other day.
Oh, yeah.
I want to say discord.
That time I was talking to Mary up.
It's discord, okay?
I don't like that works for any Ramona response.
Whoa, it's a lot of discord, okay?
So then Luann takes Sony into one of the rooms and she's like,
wow, Barbara said you fell. Are you okay? Did you hit your head?
I'm worried. Sonia, it's not normal to face plant to the table.
It's a fair point. It's a fair point.
What are you trying to ruin the cell? Just cancel the cell, Luan.
Sonya's like, oh really? You're the one who fell in the bushes.
Yeah, but at least I own it because I have an issue with drinking. It's people actually a month ago issue.
Issue 1972, they talked about my drinking. It's a fabulous issue. I wore a new bathing suit in it.
Do you worry? Do you realize, Sonia?
I worry about you as a friend.
I'm worried that you haven't checked up on me.
That could serve me.
Then why don't you say it to me the way I understand
the front of all of our friends and say, I'm manic.
And she's like, I've tried to, Sonia, but you're just Why don't you say it to mean the way I'm staying in front of all of our friends and say I'm manic
Sunday goes all you have to do is touch me and look me in the eye and say it's other way I'm like
You're drunk alcohol
Don't use the words I can just sense it try again Yes, I will accept that invitation to hang out with John John and Santa pay yes, thank you
So look I'm not the drinking police. I mean I get it. Hello
You're like literally pulling someone over right now and having them walk a line.
So the way I'm like, I'm about to go to my A A meeting. It's a huge gig. I'm so lucky I landed it.
I want you to come. They're always asking me to sing. Hello.
If it me looking for
They always want me to say good man. Hello. My name is hello. My name is I get
So anyway, so I was like in some of his answer is she goes oh
Meetings are great. Yeah, great. Yeah, I'll think about that. I don't really drive, so I don't have to go to AA. Love AA.
I mean, generally, love AA.
But they have great record.
How's their blood on cells?
Yeah.
Okay.
Great discounts.
I hear.
And then Sonia really gives us the truth, which is listen, I don't have a drinking problem
Because I've looked at all the rules, I go to the doctors, I check up on the boxes, I'm fine
I'm like I read the things, I check the things
What are you talking about, she checks the things
She's like, I read the things, I check the things
Yeah, I check
I was like, you know, I checked the boxes.
It's like, you were in the waiting room
doing a highlights magazine.
I like that.
I like that.
I know she was.
Really an article, it's like it's a picture.
So then back in the kitchen,
everyone's gathering back in there,
and Luanne's still huffing around, you know,
trying not to be mad, and Barbara's still like in a locker somewhere like you just hear Bing and during this like let's just try and
create each other with a little bit like Miranda you were the one screaming or at people like last night
people like last night.
She listen to some erasure or something. So, so the man's like, I'm going to a meeting.
What's the funnest thing she's gonna do?
So Barbara comes back and everyone's like, oh, we didn't even realize you were jogging.
And she's like, you like it just got warmer and you, oh, Barbara, who let you out?
Oh, so she's like, I went around.
I had to give out my toolkits to the homeless.
Last night was tough.
So Ramona, Ramona's the queen of the fake apology,
and this was one of her fakeest.
Warprow.
I'm so sory that I left you out the plans.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
I just want to hang out with people that I liked, okay?
But I'm glad that I wasn't able, I did not interrupt you being able to go out to a lesbian biker bar, okay?
All right
Just we all have strong personalities, hey Barbara and the Bethry goes and opinions and Durin to go hey, now go
And lesbian tendencies, so I'm say, Barbara, you know what?
I know you're really upset.
So, you're more gonna hang out by the pool with this, Barbara,
because I'm looking at my double pool, Barbara.
I'm blind again. I'm blind.
I feel a watermelon that's been squished by a tire.
That's my face. That's my face.
That's my face.
Oh my god, I can see it again.
Barbara, go into the pool.
Barbara, you are cordially invited to walk five feet with me
from the kitchen out here to the pool.
So then we cut outside where Lou Ann's on the hot tub doing her fancy like seating.
She's like on the hot tub.
The VIP area, meet and greet.
Yeah.
Her room.
Tom Jins is going to show up soon enough.
Durinda's like, oh yeah, I can swim soon.
It's really just for the swimwear cup game.
I got pleasure in my ass.
Cool, hooling.
She pulls out like a baseball mat.
What the hell?
What was that?
A shoe worn?
Granted, I don't understand girls bathing suits, but God.
Oh.
It's like doing anal when you buy a bathing suit.
What are they having you do in there?
Jesus Christ.
It's a liner.
Plastic liner.
It's disgusting.
So, um, I guess I'm supposed to protect you
from other peoples of the J, right?
Oh, good work.
It's a quote to Rinda. Oh boy, what a picture.
So, so we learned now that there's gonna be like a party at the house and Ramona's organizing it. Ramona's party. It's called Shingo, Red Mingle, okay?
Red scroff optional.
So
she's only like only 30 people are allowed to come
and it goes to a rigorous vetting process all through Ramona and she's basically being like an invitation Nazi
but more importantly she's also found pool noodles so now she's in the pool all
through in the press whoa
and Durin is just watching her as she goes by and so they're trying to take a picture and she goes
Alright, Ramona's in the noodle.
It's like watching a cargo ship go by.
And she's like, hey, she could picture a picture of Becky.
I mean, it's like, she's like, oh, Ramona's finally in noodles.
Beth is like, I'm not gonna get your fucking noodle out of my picture.
God damn it, take your shoes off.
Put the help.
If remodeling is not coming out with her own branded pool noodles,
oh, there's one right there.
Two of them.
A noodles waving in the wind.
Sounds like my new album.
Noodles waving in the wind.
I mean, here I am in the hot tub, and one gave me a noodle like it a trowel.
So her monos just like paddling behind her like,
well, is this beautiful? I'm 20 years old in the pool.
And her indigo's like a cargo ship going by.
You see her monos floating back. So now Luan goes off to be at the 90 minutes later. She's back and
You know Ramona still in her newodle and everything and she's talking to the girls when Luan comes back Ramona say I have to say
I come back like this
Hello, Tage
How are you?
How are you? Yes, she's like, God.
He's like terrified. He's like, God, it's like, oh, God.
Okay, anything, okay.
Just a down to earth cap restart.
I know it's like she posits waiting for him to ask for an autograph.
And he's like, alright, then, well, I'm leaving now.
See how much friend there once I've had my coffee, once I've had my coffee, Tage.
What's a girl gonna do?
Hope you got some good sleep, Tage,
cause the coffee wasn't made, Tage.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Hobu's worth it.
Tage Tage!
So the wind goes outside and Ramona's out there
and be like, whoa whoa Mario's coming tonight
Quite a very excited Mario's coming also my new boyfriend maybe
Yeah, I've got a guy coming. He's really cute. So I told Mario to come to
About to think the fuck she doing
Fuck the plan is that so someone asked Ramona. Here. Yeah, there you go. Here you go
Someone asked Ramona if she marry Mary would ever get back together.
And the man goes, huh.
It's hard to put your old slippers back on, honestly.
It's like cut to, cut to, like, Sonia wearing like six different slippers sewn together.
Not her for me.
It's like that's tin foil, remote.
I'm Sonia.
No.
I'm like, is he bringing so much, like, no!
Gross!
You can't bring anyone.
I'm gonna have guys here.
It's gonna be amazing.
That's his thing.
All right, so she's gonna make a guy jealous
by bringing her ex-husband to a party.
Fucking Ramona.
Like, who does that?
It's the dumbest plan I've ever heard of, okay?
I mean, you can't put on old slippers
and date new ones, too, right?
I'm really trying to make this slipper thing land, you know what I'm saying?
Sun and the wind's like, oh, right, the wind, time.
Guess what? There's more to life to drinking.
Let's go visit my old coke head friends who have art galleries. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha got away from drug abuse and art gallery in Miami. So they had to win wood walls, which is no relationship to Steve one would.
And so Tinsley tells us by the way that her sister, Dabney is going to be at the party.
Daphne.
Daphne!
Sorry.
Whoa.
What is it?
What is it?
Daphne?
Daphne?
Daphne?
Daphne? Daphne? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it?
What's it? What's it? What's it?
What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it?
What's it? What's it?
What's it? What's it? What's it?
What's it? What's it?
What's it? What's it? What's it?
What's it?
What's it? What's it?
What's it?
What's it? What's it? What's it?
What's it?
What's it? What's it? What's it?
What's it? What's it? What's Ramona is like um by the way another by the way another key difference between this show and Beverly Hills Beverly Hills
You don't know who Nanny K is
A year a year of that this show my sister Daphne Daphne huh what oh shut the fuck up
That's over you
Shock me through the
over. You shocked me through the heart. I will not show up to your pool body. What a disappointment by the way, how dare you be so banned or pop? I'm team LVB by the house. You should have been
there at the reunion. You should have been there. But I was celebrating gay pride. No, you weren't skipping a housewives reunion housewives reunites or gay pride. Yes
Those things are gayer than like a penis in a butt. Yeah, okay
By the way speaking of gay pride. Did you guys see the Andy Cohen called us hilarious?
That was cool.
Translated to please stop tweeting me already.
I'll take it.
Okay, so they're all going to these arc galleries.
The point is, aww, just kidding.
So we're all going to these arc galleries.
As soon as they get there, I'm almost like, whoa, terribly sorry. these, all the women are going to these arc galleries. And as soon as they get there,
we're almost like, whoa, you know what?
Terrible, sorry.
I'm not gonna be going to any workout.
Yeah, I'm not going there.
My friend is having a drink at a denny's.
So I'm gonna go there instead.
But it's like, you're seriously leaving right now
to say, I need to chill, okay?
Gonna be, Jay, playing the party.
Who, Mario's coming? big J. Plenty of party. Boom. Boom.
Marios coming.
I'm blind.
I'm blind.
I think I'm blind again.
Whoa, is that definitely?
I feel, I feel pencils, a sack of flour, and a straw.
Oh, it feels clammy.
I can see it. I can see it.
So she goes up and so the rest of the gang, I'm like laughing because I forgot actually all
of this art stuff and as I'm reading my notes, I'm like, oh my god, this is hilarious.
I know, I know, it doesn't feel like we're over.
I'm like, that was fun.
What a fun show.
That was just the first 20 minutes of the show.
It was like five minutes.
Jesus.
So now they go to this art gallery that's like
run by a guy named Peter Toney.
And so it's Luand old friend.
So she comes out.
Oh my god, this guy has my auntie Lulu,
my great auntie Lulu's bowl cut.
It's like my huge gray bowl cut.
And he's kind of cross-eyed and he's like,
Oh, hello, girl go welcome to the garden
I'm so excited to see you
oh I love what you've done with the place oh chandeliers
I'm gonna swing from the chandeliers
from the chandeliers. From the chandeliers.
Thank you, thank you everyone.
So they're all like at the art.
Huge gray hair, bobble head.
That's what I wrote.
So there's this like a stop sign thing that's green,
and it says don't stop ever, and Bethany sees it.
She's like, oh my god, oh my god, oh, hey.
Hi, Rannick, huh? Hi, Rannick. It's a stop sign of the irony. But it's a stop Bethany sees it just oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, hey Hi, I ran it. Huh?
It's a stop sign, but it's a stop sign. It's a stop sign. It's a stop sign.
It's a stop sign. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. Oh my god. I'm like literally freaking it. It's like
It's like how much you want from that I gotta have that I gotta have that I gotta have that my daughter like my daughter
I'm not used to enough right now. I just need to get her a stop sign to screen this. Let's go
Right? I gotta have it. It's like the I've got to have it for. I love it. It's like the cracker of scenes.
Up signs. I love it.
I've got to have it.
I've got to have it.
Like $50 million.
I don't care. Put in my car, Mitch.
So the artist's Peter, he's like,
all right, now it's time for gifts.
Chinsley, here's a tin can.
That's like an anti-warhol paint can, which I a paint in Andy Warhol paint can,
which I'm sorry Andy Warhol did not pay for that.
There's a reason this guy is giving away shit.
Yeah.
And it's not because he likes them.
It's like here's a paint can.
It's a zambi roll on it.
We love it.
It's literally got like Hula Packard paper taped to it with like,
Campbell suit. By the way, we have to give a shout out about this.
This is great.
I don't know if you heard this story or not, but last night I don't know a walkie show.
Someone came with a Campbell suit, can, purse, and security was apparently like, what are
you doing?
And she's like, it's my purse.
And she's like, what?
And she opened it up and she had all her stuff in there and she's like, okay's my purse, and she's like, what, and she opened it up, and she had all her stuff in there, and she's like, okay, and she got in.
So whoever you are, I respect your costume.
Well, if that's terrorism, blow me up.
I'll take it, Andy Warhol.
Wouldn't that be just a beautiful world?
Terrorists are like glitter bombs.
Art!
So this guy starts giving art to everyone.
He's like, all right, and it's basically like Oprah of art.
Like, you get some art, and you get some art.
And Louanne's like, okay, it's not my turn, yeah.
I'm sure my turn is coming up next,
as I have the star will be last in the queue.
Oh, no, not yet.
And Louanne was hilarious watching them get her gifts.
Or their gifts.
She's like, mm, mm, mm.
I'm so happy for you.
Happy for you.
And the next end, happy for you.
And you.
Oh, oh, Teej gets one also.
That's so good.
He doesn't know how to make coffee, but he gets some art.
OK, let's go.
Wow. All these people who didn't hang out with Peter at the crowbar back in the day, He doesn't know how to make coffee, but he gets some art. Okay, that's good.
Wow.
All these people who didn't hang out with Peter in the crowbar
back in the day, getting gifts as well.
Wow.
I'm so happy, man.
Wow, I'm happy right now.
Oh.
Well, you forgot me, Peter, and he's like, no, I didn't.
He's like, Princess Diana, what about a cap?
Oh, it's just for you.
Well, now that you say it, it does feel rather regal.
But Bethany also got totally fucked up,
because she paid $5 million for something.
What the hell?
Well, I pay for this fucking Spencer's gift stop sign.
It's a trick.
Well, that's okay though.
Nothing doesn't need a gift because as she says, you know what?
I have a daughter.
That's my present.
Tensely doesn't.
She literally said that.
That was horrible. She said that.
But I'm kind of glad because it's so nice to see she hasn't really changed.
Like, I ain't going to be able on TV change and you have to be nice to them.
Because Bethany's had a really good season.
Even I'm like, oh my god, Bethany's great.
Yeah, I've never disliked Bethany.
She is great.
What a classic!
And now you're like, I'll see you, bitch.
Welcome home.
Welcome home. By the way, I see you bitch, welcome home!
Welcome home!
By the way, I'm still wearing your Lady Diacab because I'm working on my posture.
Looks good on you, babe.
It feels good makes me, does it make me look skinnier?
Yeah, it's totally thinning.
Umm...
Now you're fat. Now you're fat.
Oh, I dropped my art. Ugh.
So now, we're going over to...
Romero Brito!
I don't even know what this is.
Oh, this is like the Bob. What's the guy on PBS?
Bob Ross.
Bob Ross, yeah, he's like...
Hi, ladies!
He's got like the big curly hair.
A lot of artists this season.
And Beth is like, this is my artist. Hi, Bob Ross! He's got like the big curly hair. A lot of artists this season.
I bet he's like, this is my artist.
Hi, Bob Rod!
Yeah, Bob is joining fun, loving happy.
And Dorenda's like, you're tonight, you have you, man!
And I didn't write down what the art was,
but I hope it was just like some brittle skeleton
with a flyer in a tear, you know.
See how Dorenda's being so bitchy, I love it.
It was someone who...
It's the broken microphone, Newe. You know, you know, Durrinda's being so bitchy, I love it. It was someone who...
It's the broken microphone, do we?
It's an oak tree yelling, I'm gonna kill you all!
So, this guy, he gives everyone...
They all get to take a little thing that's worth like $8,000, okay?
So now they're all laughing.
Well, someone got them, who bought these?
Bethany got them off.
She bought them all Swaraski crystal heart things.
Bob Ross, yeah.
And it ended up costing like $19 trillion.
Like yeah, you know what?
Yeah, I just wanted everyone to remember.
I'm the richest one.
Yeah.
Just gonna feel good.
Doesn't it feel good?
It's heart warming.
Yeah.
Heart warming.
Yeah, hello, my name is Ron.
I also bought the house.
I love that size.
Yeah.
So now they're all, like, you know, as all Flas the Wins being, they're all really bonded
in this moment because they hell no Ramona is not going to get any art.
And they're going to torture her.
Yeah, because the batonade refuses.
Because isn't a durinna like, you be taking it, you know me, I hate you.
It's just putting shit down on the side butt.
You know what we could do is take the trash can.
The best is like, no, we're not getting getting her anything fuck her. She chose other people over us
You want to go look around a pool find a man. Yes, you flew. She'll lose all right
You see and then you're like I love her a guy
It's like she can stab someone in their dry eggs and in the next minute you're like hugging her.
Like a mom?
Yeah.
So now it's nighttime and everyone's getting dressed for the big mixer with all the men.
A remote is telling us about-
Oh my god, that she's invited over.
His name is Kevin, okay?
He's 6'4", he's really nice looking.
He's not too loud, which is nice.
I like really elegant and classy, okay?
He's smart, he's been married before, he has no water,
he's got two feet.
I love watching her mother just walking through the kitchen,
like she actually did some things.
Well, it's my point, look at this.
Okay, you got the water bottle there, great.
Okay, you've got the glass of something there, great.
You got the water bottle there, perfect.
My god, it feels like I'm going to prom.
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
I don't even know what I feel like,
that's what I do.
My biggest party, that was thrown.
They're like, we just worked for two days
for this party, but yeah.
You went to the hotel bar this afternoon.
So Mario enters, and they have this awkward,
like, you know, she does that thing where she starts taking her teeth out.
She's like,
He's like, hey, Ramona.
We're gonna fuck later tonight, right?
So she's like, oh, I can't help it.
Mario and I always had chemistry, and we always will.
And then we get a flashback where I got a deli counter
and we see someone massaging a ham.
Oh, wait, oh, I'm sorry.
It was Ramon and Mario.
This scene, you guys, when I die, this is the last thing
I'm going to see.
Like, if I'm going to come or something, I'm gonna see this.
I'm gonna literally wake up only to slip my throat.
Does this seem...
Tros, you're not gonna wake up to see if I'm okay.
Okay, you be Mario sitting in the chair.
Okay, so she makes Mario take off his shirt.
Okay, take off your shirt.
On Magic Mike.
What is this?
Price is right?
Should've stayed on.
Yeah, that's hot. That's hot. That's hot. Yeah, that's hot.
We have never disturbed an audience this much.
I was doing like a role-playing Ramon and Mario.
The great Mario tit-poking scene in 2012
for whenever the hell that was.
I also like she, she like starts massaging his like stomach
and she's like, oh, I love these pecs.
I'm like, okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
One time, I really feel like we over bit on the prices right right now.
No, lower.
Yeah, we just want the city's price on prices right never.
Do you think that-
I'm not a climaxing.
Congratulations.
Do you think that tinsley cries when you watch his Plinko?
Ohhhhhhh!
Ohhhhhhh!
That was supposed to be your name, Tinsley.
Mom, I was watching Plinko and they lost again!
Plinko, Plinko Mortimer?
Your father talked me out of it.
But don't worry, I want to alone with Toppo, we still call you Plinko behind your back.
The joke we have with his son, which he has.
Wow, people are really like, not down, not down.
You see, he's the mean one.
It's a secret that no one really gets.
No, it's Dale.
By the way, I love Dale and Dale should be on every episode.
Dale should be on every episode.
Oh, wait a record.
Wait a record, man.
Ben said, guess what?
You just booed me.
I love cookies. He's good.
I love the Hanepin Bridge.
That's a bridge right?
No, but there's also the Hanepin Bridge isn't there?
I already mentioned the Stone Archbred. I had to diversify.
I'm done with your sightseeing.
Okay.
So... So we are never finishing this fucking recap. Sightseeing. Okay. So, uh...
So we are never finishing this fucking recap, by the way. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know what time it is, but my watch is going,
brrrr. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I think it's a turtle time. So...
So, someone who's not having turtle time, at least so far, is Sonia, who is just pounding the club soda, which made me so sad.
It's not right.
Oh, what is Sonia doing?
Drinking club soda.
She is not, by the way, no she's not. She said she's drinking light,
but then she has a glass this big.
It's like a baby head, her glass.
It's like this big.
So then Ramona's trying to flirt with me, Mario.
And she's like, whoa, my slip is caught.
My butt, let me pull it out.
Oh look, there's a piece of plastic and my bathing suit also
So disgusting
And he's like who flirts like that? Oh, Durinda Durinda's like
Have you ever seen Ramona flirt
She's pulled his left literally out of a bottle.
I mean, the best thing I ever seen in my life.
I didn't know it was funny Ramona.
Whoa!
Got something up like butt, right up here in the back of my butt.
Like, would you like a finger order of Ramona, Jesus?
So gross. So Trin is like,
is she gonna miss that chapter?
Is she acting as for winning?
So then, Ramona meets some,
Ramona, it's another name, time for Ramona.
She meets somebody named Danielle.
And she's like, Danielle?
Like Danielle.
Like Danielle.
Danielle?
Danielle?
Danielle.
Danielle?
Oh.
Daphne?
Danielle.
Oh, Daphne?
Okay.
It's just like the only person so-called Daphne.
Danielle.
So then, so Ramona is all bashed up. Okay, it's like all my person so called Daphne, Dimeo.
So then, so Ramona's all bashed up because she's trying to be coy about the fact that Mario is there and then just day coming.
And Sony just goes up to Mario and I was like, hey, Ramona's has a day coming tonight Mario.
She's been so fine, I've been having such a great time with her, you know.
I mean she could let the guys relax and bit, cause all she does is fuck guys, Mario.
It's crazy.
You're looking snazzy, love your skinny jeans.
Oh hi, Ramona.
Oh yeah, I mentioned this, but Ramona has a date.
Oh, but she told him you were here, so there's no funny business.
She's like, oh yeah, that's your splash of vodka talking, I'm sure.
I remote against like fake embarrassed, so she, her voice gets really high.
She's like, Sonya!
Oh!
I can't believe!
I could say that from here on out!
But it's like, Sonya, how could you?
You know what? It feels good that he looks jealous. Oh, no, no, no, no.
So then, Dabney arrives.
And Dabney.
Dabney?
No, no. Dabney Coleman arrives, too.
Very important part.
He's like finally gonna get his revenge on Lily Tomlin.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Yeah, Abney arrives, which I do like.
I like the thought that Dale was just watching 9-5.
Like, Abney Coleman.
So far I've got Plinco, I think it's Tom for a Dabney.
Walking on to five.
That's something Tinsley doesn't know about.
Ha ha ha ha. No one does. I'm so jealous non-to-fab. That's something Tindy doesn't know about. No one does.
I'm so jealous of this family,
because I feel like most people on Broadway
are just faking it.
They're like, I'm rich, but then you find out they're
direct basically.
Yeah.
By the way, no offense to read.
By the way, I'm not saying this to like,
find good graces in people.
But like, I actually really am enjoying Tindy a lot
this season.
I think she finally is like, found her like,
like she's like a little run to the cast
and they just like shit on her.
I actually find to be really endearing.
What's the point of watching Rocky
if you don't have somebody to punch?
Yeah?
So we're like,
hit her, hit her.
So Daphne comes in and Daphne is with Timzillian
and I all like,
whoa, sisters, you have lashes in common.
Yeah, you guys have the same lashes.
See, you guys have the same lashes.
Yeah, whoa.
That's it.
Wow, I can't tell you what.
That's it.
Lashes.
And Mario's like, yeah, you both have the same lashes, I guess.
And Tinsley's like, we were born with them!
Ah!
Ah!
Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Tinsolino, okay?
Uh, so then Bethany is coming down with her friend Sarah.
And Sarah's like, oh yeah, I didn't tell you.
Ramona was telling me that she and Sonia went to Pussy Tano.
And that's like, she said Pussy Tano.
That's like in Ramona.
I never had so bad.
And so bad.
I like when Bethany's getting along with Ramona.
It's so much more fun.
Until that one episode, we're saying,
I think you slut, whoa, god damn.
Yeah.
So, Luan,
Manch little.
Manch little.
So Luan, so,
Luan, so, Luan,
so Luan and Luan and this guy,
Danielle, Dan, Dan,
and Danielle, whatever his name is,
they're all flirting off by the side.
So, Duran did so you're just watching,
and then a plate of sushi comes by.
And this, I guess they're off for eel or naggy.
And Durin is like, I don't need eel, no.
You like eel?
You like eel?
So he's just like...
She's doing that cartoon thing
where the fish goes in and the bones come out
I'm saying wow that's a lot of you like they just slide down and they're in the like that's the pro right there
Let's take it back a morning
right there
So then the way I was talking to her friends and the guy's like, hey baby, you want a cocktail?
I'm saying, oh yes, I do.
I'll start with a die coke.
I love die coke, you know, cocktail.
Starting slow, starting slow and the guy goes, oh yeah, forgot about that.
Oh yeah.
He's like, so what you've been doing, baby? It's like, oh, you know me,
and getting busy, getting married, divorce.
Ha-ha!
I'm a trial, I've been to prison.
So...
Because you can just see on her face
that this guy has a back full of coke.
You can just see it.
It's like, oh, yes!
I'm great!
All right, let's go behind the pool over there. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Oh, you can always count on Old Tineo.
Yeah.
So then, Maria's still getting excited to meet the guy,
Sonia, Suála's the cat's hole.
And then Barbara.
Oh, my God, Barbara.
So Barbara?
So Barbara, Barbara, I want to say shows up, but she's been there all this time.
So Barbara, so Barbara brings, she's like, everyone, this is my friend.
Laurie.
And everyone goes, oh, your friend?
Is that mean, lovers?
Oh, so let me just get this straight.
You're not lovers.
You're friends, right?
You're just friends?
Wait a minute, but don't you have a vagina?
This Barbara tried to put her vagina on?
Girl, vagina?
Does Barbara ever try to cut up your vagina with scissors?
Because here that's what Lesbianis do, okay?
It's disgusting.
Bory, if you need me to help you blink twice like this,
I'll take you somewhere safe.
And she's like, uh, Barbara's like,
Nah, Ramon, and she's married with kids.
And Ramon and Sonny goes,
Oh!
So you're fluid, just not with this one.
I get it, I get it.
You know, we all have to have standards.
I love that this is supposedly
the most gay-friendly cast,
and they're the most like
slightly homophobic out. Like they don't get it, you and they're the most like, slightly homophobic,
like they don't get it, you know?
I don't wanna say homophobic, but the most ignorant,
let's say that.
And they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, and they say, Because like I'm a gay guy and if I'm talking to a guy of course we thought about what each other's dicks look like
This is what we do. I don't know if it's a gay thing or a guy thing, but you know, I have the same questions. All right talk amongst yourselves
Listen, it's no just respect to Barbara. I mean
Just curiosity, okay?
Curiosity killed the pussy. Sorry, Barbara.
Sorry, Barbara.
We're not anti-lesbian. We just think that Barbara looks like a gumdrop, okay?
So Ramona is like, Sonya, I want you to meet my friend Kevin.
And Bethany is like, you're back!
You're back! Kevin, I missed you!
I still want to know where the fuck Kevin is.
That's me, striver.
Yeah, oh.
He shows up in Miami.
Sorry, look, I brought it down.
Yes.
Sorry, guys.
I'm not the only one getting booze anymore.
I know that's usually me.
I've loved it.
I know. So, um, so Bethany and Mario are, uh,
Bethany and Mario are just like talking and she's like,
I don't know how you, how are you doing,
how are you, what are you doing, what are you doing,
I'm like seriously, what are you doing?
That's great, it's just like,
I have to see what are you doing,
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you,
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you,
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you,
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you,
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you,
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you, I hear. Why are you talking, what are you nervous? Seriously, what are you nervous? Go ahead. I wouldn't talk like that, but I'm going to go.
Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
Talk, talk, talk, talk.
OK, once in a while, what's happening?
What's going on?
Do me a favor, take off your shoes.
Yeah, yeah.
Take off your shoes.
Take off your shoes.
Got to sleep, Mariam.
She's like, I love her.
I love her, either.
Mariam?
I love her, I'm on it.
Mariam?
It gives the saddest middle-aged single man answer ever.
He's like, I'm doing great!
Taking a golf paddle ball,
with a ball, polo, rugby coloring.
Did you know they have adult coloring books now?
That's been fun.
Try knitting.
You know the difference between knitting and crocheting.
Fingers.
It's been a great life, Bethany.
Really happy.
Okay, okay, okay.
So meanwhile, Tinsley and, uh, Tinsley and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, well, it's just hard because this place became like Scott!
Ha!
Turns into Carol Radswell.
Ha!
It's not that I haven't been on this season.
I've just been running America the whole time.
Ha!
I just finished.
So, Deb named Tinsley or Spying on Robona flirting with just hilarious, because this guy
that she's with is like serious and really doesn't want to be on TV.
He's like, yes.
What?
Ancesth a party on television?
Is your behind okay?
You keep touching it.
It's like, this is something inside of you.
Do you want to go to a doctor?
It's like no.
So she's over flirting and it's hilarious.
And Kevin's like is your ex actually here?
Which one is he?
I don't want to be offensive.
Everyone is like he's the gentleman, yellow shirt.
You know it's been four years.
He had a midlife crisis.
He's like, hmm.
He may have noticed his chest is particularly oily. So, um, so
Tensley is about to cry about Scott and Daphne, Daphne, Daphne, Daphne, Daphne, he's like, no,
I want Daphne coming to live. So, Daphne is like, don't, don't go there. You can make your happy, you was a burden.
If you don't respect us.
So she's like a weird mix between Tinsley's voice.
And like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not really sure what's going on with their voice.
So, yeah, so Tinsley's like,
my every mix being really sad.
I'm like, oh, fun time at party.
The point is you gotta respect you
Help you I can't do it. I'll learn it if that thing stays on
So talking over there. Yeah, you better shut your white over there
So then there's then there's like this one guy who's's like this one hot guy who like sits on the couch and like all the women are around him and then Luann just walks over and it's like, if that's the hot guy,? He's like, hi, I just turned 22 and I'm glad to be here.
I've ever been with a cabbie star before.
I'm a cabbie star before.
I'm a cabbie star before.
My name is something, something who cares, Kennedy? And so, so, goes, and here's still sitting all the way over there.
Huh!
Hi, Kennedy.
What's your name, Kennedy?
So then Beth Ngo's ever detensely in that,
he's like, come downstairs, come downstairs,
come downstairs, come downstairs,
and find a guy for you.
He's cute and he's actually real, all right?
Yeah.
He's got some fake guy with a fake coupon site, all right?
He's like, really?
He's actually in person.
He's like, hawk, he's like hawk.
Like, this is sick. Yeah, he's like hawk. Like, he's sick. Yeah, but he's like a green stop sign, but it doesn't say stops, He's actually a person. He's like, hot. He's like, hot.
Like this is sick.
He's like, hot.
Like he's sick.
Yeah, but she's like a green stop sign,
but it doesn't say stops, it says, go.
Yeah, hot.
You know what?
You know what?
You can get run over, you can find a guy.
Like, where do I know?
So they go downstairs.
It's just like, oh, it's just crying, but okay.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
She goes over to the guy.
She's like, all right, I got some crazy bitch over here,
all right? She's spriving crying for a while. I don't know when, her sisters got some fucked-up,
they don't even talk to her sister, all right?
She's wearing a bumpet, like in the front, like seriously crazy.
Don't talk to her.
I talk to her for two minutes, I got one of her plastic eyelashes in my eye,
three hours to get it out of. Don't talk to her.
So this guy, who by the way is was just very, very like normal looking,
so it looks like one of my dad's friends.
Yeah.
Like if you go talk to him, he's like,
Hey!
So what's up with the hard test, dude?
What is that?
Is that like radio?
So is it harder than banking?
So then, so then like, 10, he's like, oh, hi.
Like she doesn't know what to do.
She's like set up out of nowhere. And then Beth and he's like oh hi like she doesn't know what to do She's like set up out of nowhere and then Bethany is just stands over here she goes
He's into it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. Go do it. Go do it. You can do it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing it. He's in doing fan. It's a date, I'm just over here. No, I'm not here. That's my name, it's over here.
You talk, then you talk, then you talk.
Okay?
Stop, go.
Good, good.
So, it seems like trying, but it's so awkward, you know?
So, she's like, oh, God, I should have more game than this.
And Depp is like, oh, damn it.
Depp needs a monster in my mind, right now, sorry.
I know she wasn't like Depp, but now. That means a monster in my mind, right now, sorry. I know she wasn't like that,
but now I've made her that in my mind.
And I, she's just like sitting there like,
let's, let's believe in yourself, Timmy.
A painter into a total monster.
They can be miracles if you believe.
So then this is where they show Ramona.
Okay, so Tim's like,
I can't do this.
It's like, what am I supposed to do for?
I'm supposed to go over there, man.
What do you do?
And then the editor is cutting Ramona going.
I mean, it's pretty simple to me.
You just line up three signature drinks.
Some tequila in a tall glass.
I mean, that shit with...
It's vodka in a medium glass.
And a small glass with three lines, okay?
And you say, date me.
That was some beautiful editing.
So Ramona said,
Everyone, come in, we got through.
Okay, put it all down this field.
You just put me, got three on trade. Everyone caught in, we caught the... Okay, we're all down this food.
You just put me caught on trade.
So, I...
Some kind of bass over there, I'm not sure.
Whatever, we're done all day.
So, the girls are gonna start fucking with her.
And Beth and he's like,
I got it.
For some reason, Rimaena enjoys pretending that she owns this fucking house
and she made this whole party.
It's fucking stupid.
So, let's fuck with her.
So that they start doing the women start doing like this joint toast and just like I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone.
I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank everyone. I want to thank art. We get art. Yeah. We all got art.
We mean.
$1000 a dollar, Savard.
That was the God's life.
What art then you could ever see in your life?
What?
This art, this art is worth with the Pope.
What?
Pope?
This art is worth the Pope.
The Pope came to Miami and gave us art.
First Pope did ever with nice to gay people.
Before he was nice to gay people.
I want that heart.
Did you get a Pope paint can?
We did, actually.
We did.
He was nice.
He was nice.
So, um, Sir Amona is losing her mind.
I was like, whoa.
On surprise, if they didn't bring me peace of art back.
I mean, when I went to the clam big,
I brought lots of back for to ring down. You know, lobsters, a $10,000 piece of art.
They were all half eaten because you know by the time those lobsters got in
home, Ramona's licked or eaten a piece of each one of them. So then Ramona
intros Mario and Kevin sing, Mauryan, look, this is my friend.
Steve Bob's.
Oh.
Oh.
If you're glad to love Steve.
Oh.
He invented apples, hey?
All right, go ahead, make each other jealous.
Well, I get this out of my bubble.
Oh.
These guys are just sucking at each other.
Like, you want her? No, do you want her?
Not really
Sonya's like
By the way, two women in the front row just slapped high five
Just like yes
Oh my god look there's emptiness right here. Yeah, so basically, there's a Ken of Fire talking.
And so here comes up, and she's like,
let me just throw a little bit cold water on this.
Hey, Ramona, slap with Harry, doobin.
Yeah.
Made out.
And Mario's like, Harry's still around.
Guys, my fucking bad.
Last time I saw Harry, one of his eyes actually fell out.
I had to help him put it back in.
That guy's still alive.
Fucking Jesus Christ Ramona.
So then Dren does like, you know what,
we say Christ's palanate Mary on soon.
You know how about that?
How about that?
Yeah, you should let's cry about,
this let's cry about a mission here.
Hey, Mario, you know what you and I have
and then we should cry about it, huh?
And Mario's like, you fuck know that,
how to scut disgusting.
How dare you?
He's like, I'm going back to the midlife process.
And then we see scenes from next week,
which is basically, Beth and be like,
shut the fuck up. Hey, shut the fuck up. We're in the same spot. I don't know, I don't know. crisis and then we see scenes from next week which is basically better than being like
Sometimes happy But sometimes you're sad
But the way goes wrong
And that brings us to the end of the day
That was really awesome to be here today
Many appless, what a great audience
You guys are awesome
Thank you so much for coming
On an amazing time
Thank you for the night
Thank you everyone much for coming amazing time. Thank you for the night.
Thank you everyone. Good night. Hey, prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon
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