Watch What Crappens - RHOP: A Chili Welcome

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

The Real Housewives of Miami (S10E13) head to Mexico for Ashley's birthday celebration, but Mia and Jacquline ruin the fun with their fight about who is the worse mother. Speaking of mothers, please don't mention Karen's. This week's bonus is about our Holiday Vacays. For our premium bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but people are so happy. Who cares what happens, but there's so much that's happened. Well, hello everybody and welcome to... Watch what's happening! It's a podcast for all that crap!

We love to talk about on you, brops! I'm Ronnie, and that's been over there. Hello, Ben! Hi Ronnie, how are you? I'm doing so good. I'm so loving this Monday so far. How about you? Same. It's rainy here in LA. It's cozy. Had a nice restorative weekend full of massive board games and my my love tank is full and I am ready to dive in. Oh, love it. It was my sister's birthday this week, so happy birthday. And though you're not listening to this,

because you have no taste. And we had a little party for her at my house. And my niece's boyfriend is like, hey, my mom really liked meeting you. She wants to give you this present. Ben, it's one of those fucking balls that you've seen Kyle Richards use on Instagram. I'm sure.

Like a bunch of punching thing. I almost killed him. I want to kill his mother now for giving me this thing. I've got the stupid thing strapped in my head. Do you know how many times I punch myself in the face? Also they videotape to me. Listen, I know I'm a big girl. There's no, I don't, I don't think of myself as like some manly football player, okay?

I am under no illusion that I'm anything but what I am but goddamn do I not need to see it on somebody else's self-em I am mortified Yeah, that's that's like First of all, I think you look wonderful second of all it is hard to see No, it's like when you're so used to controlling your own angles and then you, and someone else does a video and to them it's fine, you know, because they're used to seeing you from all sides of an angle. So, you know, it's like when you, like, you know, they are, they're not even thinking about it, but then like the moment you first see yourself from like a three quarter angle,

but then the other way around. I just hate it. Just hitting out at things. I mean, you know those videos on Facebook just hitting. Yeah, you know those videos on like the internet where someone's like they tried the wrong person and then it's a guy walking into a diner holding everybody up and then some brave patron gets up and kicks his ass and you're like, yeah, go patron. And I love those videos and I always think think I'm gonna be that patron one day.

You know, I'm gonna be in a denny, someone's gonna try and fuck with everybody, and I'm gonna kick their ass. I am not gonna kick anybody's ass. Let me tell you that. I don't even know why I was hitting it. I didn't even look butch enough to hit flies. My hands were just so flailing.

My elbows are like punching out to the sides. It was a few milliots. It was, well, I don't believe in violence. I don't believe in violence. So therefore, I shall not be hitting anything, especially a ball that's attached to my head. Well, I believe in violence. You know why?

Because I read the damn Bible. Okay, everybody, welcome to the show today. This is not about me hitting myself like a big girl on a terrible video. This is not about me hitting myself like a big girl on a terrible video. This is about Bravo. Okay? Specifically, real housewives of Potomac. But first, we're going back onto a... Now, we are so excited to finally be getting our butts out of our house and going back and doing live shows again.

I've missed it. It's been a long time. This tour is called the Cheetah Brand Tua. And we've already announced a bunch of cities and we announced four more today. Tickets are already on sale for the first round of cities and they are going to go on sale for these last cities this week. Yeah, well, we should say the latest cities.

Yeah, the pre-sale starts on Wednesday, and then general on sale will not be long after that. That's the pre-sale code is crapens 2023. I actually don't know if we go on general for on Thursday or on Friday. We should probably have looked into that before we start recording. But as long as you've got the pre-sale code,

you're gonna be fine. Yeah, you're good. Crapins 2023. Okay, so the tickets we've already announced, the cities we've announced are Austin, Dallas, Phoenix, LA. That's where we're gonna have the 2023 golden crappies at the Wiltern Theater. One of our biggest houses and it's gonna be a great, great crappies. So please join us for that in LA. Then we're going to Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Salt Lake City, Seattle, and San Francisco, Toronto,

and then Philadelphia, New York City, and Washington, D.C., but wait, guess what? Because you guys were like, Hey, what about the Midwest? What are you at this in the Midwest? Fuck you! Wait, Paul, this is not the... Fuck you guys! And so we're like, hey, what about the Midwest? What are you at this in the Midwest? Fuck you! Wait, Paul, I'm so excited. Fuck you guys.

So we're like, hey, what can we do? So guess what? We're coming to the Midwest. Well, we're also going to San Diego. No one had no one said anything great from San Diego. Because you know, San Diego is the Midwest of the Pacific Ocean and whatever, it's just a little bit east of San Diego. It's the Midwest to something, but we love San Diego.

We played last year at the Observatory and guess where we're playing this year, the same because we loved it. We loved it there. So we're going to be there in what month is that, June? June. Okay, and then also in June, we're going to be in Saint Paul Minnesota, Chicago, Illinois. Hi, Chicago. Chicago, did you really think that we were going to not come to you? We love you, Chicago. I felt so bad because everyone was so upset. They're like, what about Chicago? What about the Midwest and everything?

And like, I was like, we just we can't announce it yet. But I felt bad that people were losing their mind. Of course, of course we're having Chicago. Yeah. The mayor was like, we're not ready for them again. And I said, really ask your constituents and see how that plays out for your numbers. And so they're allowing us back there. We're going to be at the Vic there that time. That's going to be great. And Columbus, Ohio, we also love what an already little wonderful town that is. Yes. Well, now I feel bad that we didn't say anything about St. Paul. We said everything about all four of the other three new cities. St. Paul is wonderful too. I loved Minnes. I was just in Minnesota last month. It's a great place. It is a great place. And we're going to be there in the summer,

which is very different from our usual mode. You know, we're like, hey, we'll see you in the coldest time possible. But we smartened up a little bit this time, a little bit. Yeah, so everyone go to watercrapins.com for the tickets. Again, the pre-sale starts on Wednesday. And by the way, and thank you to everyone who has already bought tickets. I looked at the map for the crappies and for Town Hall, which are two of our biggest venues and Town Hall's in New York City. And we've already like, half the tickets already gone. It's crazy and that's just the first weekend. So definitely get your tickets. We don't want anyone to miss out. And yeah, that's, that's, that's it. Those are the shows for now.

Listen, is my mother used to say every time we walked into a dealers? Don't make me look stupid. Also, we do have a pretty rigorous no balls attached to your head policy. So, if you come in, punch in a ball, we are going to have to ask you to check that with we'll call, unfortunately. Wow. Okay. So, here we are. Now, this is crazy.

Real Housewives of Potomac last week, we were making jokes about Mia's sisterhood of the traveling with no pants on. And guess what? This week's episode is called Sisterhood of the Traveling Beasts. Guys, I mean, come on. It's fate that we're here today. It really is. Spelled F8, like the number, like the movie, like the installment of the Fast and the Furious

franchise, the Fast and the Furious franchise, the Fast and Furious. The Fast and the Furious, because you should know where you're children. It's 10 pm. Do you know where you're children are? Now listen, a lot of times, you know, people I read on the internet saying like, these shares should be about housewives. I'm going to understand. Nobody has this shares even married.

And this is what's be called a half-wives. I'm going to understand. Nobody has this shares even married. And this is about to be called housewives. Ninnin' it. Well, this is definitely one of those episodes that this is some real shit that happens between moms. I've heard this fight myself. Why am I always taking care of your damn kids? You take care of your kids. Stop using my babysitter for your damn self.

And that's the fight we got today, so I say. I use. But to be fair, I also say the exact same thing, if I'm in public and someone's child, like just graces my leg, if they walk by, why am I so care of your kids? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha really anything. So anyway, yes, we are, we just got back from Miami and now we're already heading off to Mexico, but this is like the, this is like the build up episode, putting everything into place sort of. So it opens up with Karen, just she's looking at a dress in the mirror.

And then she goes into a room and sees, she's rage like, hey, baby, I can't believe I'm getting ready to go to Mexico with the girls Yeah, there's Karen setting up her perfect improv scene Look at me raise here my baby, which in first that he's my husband I can't believe I'm getting ready to go to a Mexico trip will be today's plot Thanks for freeze That was a lovely salad Ray. Thank you for getting that for me. I'm so glad we're at a restaurant. So she's gonna host together with Ashley because it's Ashley's birthday. And then we see a clip of Ashley saying three days ago, it would be nice for us to go to Mexico.

Which was necessary. But it wasn't necessary actually to see everyone's reactions, because everyone was like, Hey, Mexico gross. Like, what is this cast have against Mexico? I've never seen a less excited group to go to Mexico. How dare you? Yeah, you're right. Also, how fun is it that Ashley basically invites everyone at the table to Mexico, but like her friend Debra is there and clearly knocking and invite, like who does that?

Who invites everyone at the table except for Debra? Just as for Debra's Mexico invitations, better mess the ass down there. She deserves no, she couldn't even get through custom. So he'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, center back. No, just centers are different part of the country. She'd be like the guy with the wand tried to hit on me when I was going through security. Yeah, I, send her back. No, just centers are different part of the country. She'd be like the guy with the wand tried to hit on me when I was going through security.

Yeah, I'm ready for that. Send her, no, just send her to Andalaze and everyone else goes, where are they in Mexico? Did we ever find out where in Mexico they are? They're just sort of like in this general Mexico place. Oh, no, they're in, they're in somewhere good. They're like five, no, I'm fine. I'm sure it's good, but I'm just saying they just sort of arrived. And also, did you notice, I'm just gonna say this

right now, did you notice that they were really trying to create some white lotus moments with their interstitials? They've been really playing around with interstitials this whole season, because now when they were in Mexico, like every single time they change scenes, there was like slow motion, oceans, waves crashing and the music was mysterious. And then they'd like show this like alligator. I believe it's an alligator, is it a crocodile down there?

I think it's an alligator. I think that's a Karen before she found an esthetician alligator. So they cut to Ramona singer, okay? Whoa, I mean, the whatever, Mexico, Kai. And just opening its mouth in slow motion, like this is gonna turn romancing the stone by the end of this trip. Yeah, that was a butterfly effect Karen.

Like if Karen had never come onto housewives, everything, everywhere, all at once. Also, I was taking this as more survivor because they were doing a lot of like, like, that's their music to walk to your hotel room. Oh, I was like, could we not didgeridoo on a girl's trip? Like, I don't know who's over there today, but come on. Do you ever notice that the white lotus theme song sort of does sound like Karen waiting for something? Hey Karen, why won't you call series?

Is this taking you down if you walk this? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, super positive. So congrats on your positive outlook in 2023. Um, and Jacelle is in the car just causing mess every fucking place she goes because she has nothing else to do. She's talking to Robin on the phone and Robin's like, oh, I didn't need to bother you how did it go. She means the biopsy. Go! She needs a biopsy. Yeah, I was like, I was like, I was waiting for you to make this pivot into the biopsy. Yeah, it's actually like a relatively, it's like a, actually, a sort of a serious moment here

because she's basically has five boys that are so big that she looks like Giselle is gonna have to have this direct to me. And the doctors don't even want to travel out the country, but she's like, I have a TV show to do what I must be there, which is also something that happens to Wendy. I mean, these ladies are risking their health to be part of these shows. And that is the sort of dedication that I appreciate on my real housewives. Yeah, she's like, surgery will not stop me., Robyn's like, well, you know, what about Karen's live show?

I mean, so many people were involved. It wasn't even about Karen. And this is the first time in history, Robin has asked for more Karen. I had never. It says Robin, who's reasonably shady live show involved people on stage doing jumping jacks and Ashley and one and Probably someone who works at Starbucks explaining how you press the button to get a venti frappuccino So apparently so jacelle is acting shocked that Karen would invite everyone but not Shorisa To exclude her would be me nah, we know it when she, but not Shorisa, to exclude her would be me now.

We know when she doesn't like Shorisa. Why are we acting like Karen and Shorisa have been friends all this time? So Robin's like, I think it's definitely deliberate. Yes. Yeah, yes it is. Yeah, that's good. Way to deduce that, Robin.

And so, Jacelle's like like and Shri Sa dropping the video La Hilaria Sa so we see the video again of Karen's boo popping out and they're just like laughing about how Karen was acting like she Wasn't mad at it, but she definitely was and then can we hear from Candace that Candace heads when she saw She was like oh nice titties and Karen sent a text to the group, but specifically the Candace saying by the way ladies Oh by the way ladies please do not refer to my press as titties. The word boobs works for me. Have a great night. Well, why is everybody also allowed to set boundaries? You know, don't call them, don't call them titties, and if she doesn't want to, I will

not call them titties anymore. I respect you. So tough titties. Tough boobies. Tough boobies. It was just as funny to me. I mean, obviously everyone is allowed to shoot, to set their boundaries of how they would like the various body parts or things in their lives to be called. So I respect Karen saying I would prefer them to be called boobs instead of titties. But it's just funny because titties feels like, titties and boobs feels like a lateral move.

Like I was expecting her to say, I prefer you to say bosom or cleavage or, you know, like roundish lady parts. But the fact that she's like, I prefer you not to say titties, but I do think that like. I hate the word titties. I hate it.

I'll say it really. It's it's, yeah, I think it's very crass. I try not to sayies. I hate it. I'll say really. Tits. Yeah, I think it's very crass. I try not to say them. I say boobs. That's why I did not know that you felt that titties were super crass. Like maybe someone, maybe you can say like, yeah, nice rack.

Something like that if you're under target and you're feeling a little spicy. And that's respectful. But I don't like titties. It's like when you say someone took a shit, I hate that term. I hate the SH word when it actually describes poop. I just like poop. Just say poop. That's it. So I need to

you. Wow. Wow. Look at you. Also, someone doesn't like me saying pupe, but I didn't even know I said until someone told me. Poo. So poop. Poo. I don't know. Wait. Poo. So people don't like you saying pupe. I guess I say pupe, but I don't know. Someone told me I said, I didn't realize I said pupe. I said pupe, but now I say't know. Wait, pu- So, pu- People don't like you saying pu- I guess I say pu- But I don't know, someone told me I said pu- I didn't realize that you said pu-

I think I said pu- But now I say pu- pu- What about defecation? Don't like that. I mean, it just sounds so laborious. Turn? What about turn, turn, turn, okay.

Turn's okay. For some reason, turn, I'm not even gonna say, you know what, I'm not even gonna go down this path because I was gonna make you so uncomfortable. And I respect you as my podcast, co-host, and work husband that I do not want to make you uncomfortable on this year broadcast. Well, thanks, man. Oh my God, the respect.

So, Robb, it's like, well Karen's just going to dance around topics. I don't know what the point is. And Jizelle tells us that she wants to mend the fence as Zah between Shri Sinkeren because, well, I'm no Zee, but we all used to be such a good Defreand Zah. You want to mend fences because you have nothing going on. You never have anything going on. Robin doesn't have anything going on. And frankly, this is my favorite housewives show as of late,

but you guys are struggling a little here as you try and make it towards the end. None of your trickery has worked, ma'am, so I suggest doing something other than just talking about Karen and Sheree's fight. Nobody cares about Karen and Sheree's fight. Okay, nobody. I feel like Jazelle is trying to get, bring Sheree's back into the fold that way they could have kind of a Sonia Ramona Luan kind of vibe like the OGs or maybe you can even say Durinda I feel like Ashley is almost like the Durinda, but she's not but like I kind of see her like wanted to have that vibe of like We are the elder statesmen of the group because now that there are these younger

Idiotic ladies, you know nipping at heels, the three of us can be the three like wise ones. We started this thing and now let's take it over. And Karen is basically like, no, I don't want to have any of it. She'll not, I shall not even mention Theresa's name. Boob works for me. Let's call it boob.

That works for me. I think what she's doing is she because Jacelle's obsessed with getting everyone's marriage in trouble, right? She's like obsessed with obsessed. She's obsessed with marriage. She's obsessed with that talent. Yeah, she wants to do it. Tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her what it's marriage. She wants to match right in there and tear it all down, I say. Yeah, she just wants to fuck up everybody's marriage. That's like her thing.

And I think she wants her niece to come on and say that Karen is cheating, you know? Yeah, I'm in the same place. I don't care if Karen is cheating. You know, that's like seeing someone sitting at home with an old-style piece of toast and some like tuna fish has been open to the fridge too long and then getting mad at them for going out to lunch. Okay. Go out to lunch girl, go, you earned it. I would actually go a little mad at them for going out to lunch because I'm like, man, they probably have some bad tuna breath. Keep that indoors. Keep that away from the general public postmates. So Karen is like, well, I'll be nice to her if you don't fuck with me.

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Shuh! So then Robin is trying to do some dance, her kids are teaching her off of TikTok. And you know, then she lays down because it's a Robin scene. So.

Yeah. So it's basically the kids and Robin and Lon are sitting around very sad Sectional the sectional is not sad just the room feels sad. There's like a sadness in the room. It's just like It's like being at the not even the DMV. It's like reporting for jury duty And so she's like, you know, and it's not the sad sectional It's just the way they sit on the sectional because like Robin is an armpit sitter

and you know I hate armpit sitter. I hate armpit sitter. Could you please elaborate what you mean by armpit sitter? Because I think I know that I don't want to make assumptions. When people sit back on the couch and then they put their arm behind the couch and like put their armpit all over the couch pillow. That's just disgusting.

And it's not even like, if it was a plethora couch or a leather couch or something that I could wipe down later with Windex wipes or Chlorox wipes, okay, but it's not. It's just your armpit on the couch. Is that your couch? Yes. Are you allowed to put your armpit there?

Yes, but it's not inviting for anybody else. If I have to sit on your couch, it's gonna have your armpit on it. And I'm gonna have to watch you do that terrible dance. I'm not everywhere sitting on your couch. I've never noticed that, but I am probably going to notice it from that one. And it's a great point, because I also just don't understand the utility of wrapping your arm around the back of the sofa. I mean, my sofa is up against the wall, so it prevents that from happening in the first place. You're welcome. Well, I do, if I have to sit up on a sofa,

yeah, I need all the help I can get. But I make sure that there's T-shirt between me and the sofa, I'm not a monster. So you put your arm behind to get some leverage, just sort of, but now I feel like you've made people your arm on the top to hoist yourself up. You don't have to creep it all the way behind, like a clip, you know?

Well, my body feels the sofa and it's over. Like I'm just a lump on the sofa. I'm like just reaching for the Netflix. Like there's no, I'm not used to sitting on sofas. So I have to like pin myself there. I have to put my arm behind it just so I can stay upright. Okay, I get it.

But either way, your point as well observed that Robyn's, the way she sits on is well observed that Robbins are the way she's into sexional is just unacceptable. Yeah, she's an armpit sitter. I don't approve. And that's what this episode is, by the way, for anyone wondering why you're talking about this. You want to talk about Wendy's kidney stone more?

Go ahead. Yeah, it's either we talk about the way Robbins is on a sofa or we talk about watching her kids get measured for suits? Like, what do you want? Which is it? So Robins, like, you're father and I want to talk about something important. You know, we've been engaged to be married for over two years.

And we think it's time to start planning a wedding. The kids are like, yeah, no shit, mother. Here's my PowerPoint. I've been waiting for this day. You know, like, you just know, those kids have already planned it out. There's been so much time to like, let's just get the ball rolling, we'll do it. Yeah, one of them's like, I thought there was no wedding.

You just get married and it's over. It's like, no, because we had a prenup situation and then we realized that we were both gonna be broke again soon so it didn't really matter. So now we have to plan it. Go to the fucking city hall and Chuck E. Cheese. Now I have to watch you get a special dress for your second wedding that you only have to having to get people off your ass. Come on. I mean like I respect the fact that she's keeping it to four people. She's not been

drawing out this process for like the big expensive bravo wedding. Although to be fair, she probably was and bravo said we're not doing this. We've made you an offer three years ago and you didn't take it. So at this point, we'll bring our cameras, but we're not paying for anything, which is probably why it's only four people. But either way, she's like, we're gonna keep it small and not even my parents are gonna be invited. And she talks about how her mom will probably be upset, but it'll be like, you know, they'll get over it. And then she goes, so, where do you guys think we should do the wedding?

And one son is like, Jamaica. And she's like, what about Maryland, but at the Chesapeake Bay? Now, how is that? How is that a counter offered at Jamaica? Isn't that in her backyard and also Why won't you invite your mother if you're just gonna do it in the park? I mean that's really shitty if you're not inviting your mother cuz you're like whoa

Jamaica could be dangerous because of COVID and you're older or something But you're not gonna let your mother come to your backyard pond. Come on. I know. It doesn't make any sense. I'm just mad. It's like, where do you want to do the wedding? Hey, can we go to, let's do it in Paris. Okay, but hear me out. What about Delaware? Like Chuck E. Cheese. So there's another page of notes for this. I don't know why I refuse to read them. You can go ahead if you want to. Well, nothing else really happens except for Brian A. Lunsford, Haberdashron owner of Brian

Alexander Pispoke comes around. He gets like a very formal tyron. Normally it's like Taylor, but he gets a full thing. It's like Brian A. Lunsford graduated, fit in his class at Lunsford University in Habitasha and owner and creator of all things, hats the originator of the hat concept. And first person to ever design a hat

in the history of mankind is here. Yeah, he really did. He got like a full on. It's like, are you filling these out yourselves now? Like you know when you do a show and they're like, please send us your Yeah, send us your bio and mine is like Ron and Karam. He's alive. He can stand Applicationly watch what happens the end and some people are like Natalie graduated from Julien from the art she enjoys

graduated from Julian from the art she enjoys Philean's basements home goods and very classy things that Ronnie doesn't understand she's currently reading both Emily Brooks and Mary Higgins clock who is she well that's like when you go to a show on broad when you go to the playable and they clearly all have to submit their own bios and there's like some you go to a show on Broad when you go through the play, but they clearly all have to submit their own bios.

Yeah, there's like some people who, yeah, yeah. Is that okay? That's why I'm running and then other people are like, well, after graduating from her three years, didn't on different strokes. Jordan, I went to the, went to I played a school of pottery and emotion. All right, Pete. Yeah. And it's like a full 30 years of everything they've ever done.

Yeah. So the only other thing I have to say about the scene is that this guy comes over to make them bespoke suits and everything. And Robin has already, she's already picked out a date. It's going to be in July and it's going to be, it's basically 40 days away. And it's like, oh, I hope we have time to get this all done before they're wedding. So like normally this is a classic reality show thing is that a wedding or big event is planned with an unreasonable timeline and that's

supposed to raise the stakes and it's like oh my god there's not enough time to get everything done but I'm like in this case it's only the four of you guys so I think there's some flexibility of when you go to town hall. Yeah that's not gonna be any raising of the stakes. You're not even gonna have stakes. You'll probably stop at McDonald's on your way home. Yeah which I actually approve of but the the point is, you know, like, how about you say, we'll get married when the seats arrive. And then we'll put them on and go to city hall.

Well, I also like Brian Habadasha and all of all things linen. Um, because one's like, well, what should I wear? And he goes, it, just not that suit from your NBA draft. And they show one in this suit that's like 10, you know, sizes two big. So I'm like, okay, Brian, now I see why they let you write your own kairon. Yeah, exactly. So now we go to Mia at her home office and she's like writing a whole bunch of things on different post-its like she's announcing the next guest on SNL, you know. Mia pretending she's the busiest person in Potomac by writing multiple sticky notes.

I can't. Yeah, she's all these locations on sticky notes and touching him to her glass desk. And she's like, I don't know if I can do that. That might not work. Phone, phone, phone, much talking on the phone. No, that was simply not work. I will move the pink posting to inches up. I have to go, Gordon's here.

Hey, Ben. Garrenan, I have a question and she's like like she tells us the timing of this girls trip is It is great because I always put myself last. I'm always kids Family business and then me which is really how I felt two weeks ago when I went on vacation also Yeah, exactly. She's like, did you register for Jeremiah's comp-kinks in school? I need you to attend.

I won't be here, Gordon. And he's like, I get in the tent. I can be in the parking lot, but I don't know. No, Gordon, no, it needs your lip licking and the fucking parking lot of the school. lot. No, Gordon, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Cupcake Function. I feel like that's some sort of insult. It's like a dance for people who were beaten up in school. I want to go to the cupcake function. Yeah. The cupcake function. It's the bullied kids function.

They're like, I'm sorry, were people calling you fat? Here's some cupcakes. That is totally what we call top of my school. Okay, so she's like, it's not normal for a mom's to be like that. You have to go because that's something actually wants me to make some call for a birthday. She's framing it like she doesn't want to go to Mexico. Her friend wants her to be there.

And because she always puts herself last and puts her friends before her, she's gonna do it. Yeah, she's such a good person going to Mexico. Also, any mother out there could back me up. It's cupcake day, which means it's your turn to bring the cupcakes. Go to the fucking store by a 20 packet cupcakes and send them with your kid to school.

Why are we acting like this is like. Cupcake day day oh no. Also like literally for two seasons, every time we see me at home, she's making cupcakes for pancakes with her kids. Like you make cupcakes so often, how do you not have them ready for this function? Okay, they probably built this function for you

to like, well, me, it gives bring cupcakes in. We might as well make it a cupcake day and now she doesn't have them ready. Come on. And then she's where she has the problem with Jacqueline. This is where we find out the Jacqueline story line. So she's like, Jacqueline is upset because I wouldn't help with the girls. Yeah, because Jacqueline wanted Mia to arrange a nanny for her.

That's what she is claiming. That's what she is claiming, that's what Mia is claiming. The backstory here is that Jacqueline's sister is Mia's nanny. And so the arrangement that they have is that if Jacqueline needs someone last minute for her kids, like if Jacqueline's own nanny isn't there, Mia always is like, oh, just like drop the kids at my house. So it's like all can't do that sometimes,

but all the time, that's not fair. That's pretty funny though. I think that Jack is the... I think that Jack is the... I think that Jack is the damnie. And so, Jacklin has to... Jacklin can't half-orcist or take care of her kids, which is totally reasonable in a family.

It'd be like, will you take care of my kids while I'm gone for the weekend? And me is like, no, because you're gonna be taking care of my kids. Even though their kids are together all the time. And Mia is the reason Jacqueline's going on this trip in the first- I was just about to say that Mia brings Jacqueline onto the show to be her sidekick. And therefore, Jacqueline now is going on this trip. She's really going there to be Mia's friend.

And then Mia won't let her keep her kids with her like with Gordon over the weekend. I mean, that's just classic Mia trash. That's so silly. And Gordon's like, wait, she wanted you to arrange a nanny for her. I mean, the girls are her responsibility, not yours. And she says, I'm off making it. I'm off making it. Mia, who has spent a lot of time talking rightfully so about the trauma that comes with rejection, that or the trauma that comes with being a foster child in the system, here actively just like, not actively saying she does not want to be like have kids in her house.

Oh, Mia. So she's like, well, I'm exhausted Gordon, like a mentally a doll, a ring. And then she like puts her hand on her neck to prove how mentally she drained how many. It's a lot of postures. She's like, I don't know. So many most dense.

So then travel, travel, travel, they're going in two groups. Ashley is going with Karen and Wendy because they're going to keep Wendy away from everybody because everybody doesn't like Wendy right now. So they're going in two groups and Ashley does her bullshit of my birthday this year is going to look so different because I'm a single lady now As much as I'd like to pretend that as that I have this I just don't know what's on the other side of a marriage It's Michael. That's what's on the other side. It's Michael still paying the bill for your house

It's boiler yeah, yeah, that's that's exactly that's what's on the other side So now we're at the airport and we have the first group that they are they arrive at the airport. That's Shasha and and what's her face? Yeah, Shasha. Robin. Robin. Yeah, this is a second group. I'm sorry. Yes, they they they show up. They're's like the typical airplane footage and then we're in Mexico and this is where we see our first sock footage of an alligator and slow motion. And we even see like, is it larva or something like that? It was like this weird, it wasn't a caterpillar or it was white, but it was stuck to a rock and

it looked like a worm, but then it stood up and started like, is it a maggot? I mean, it looked like a maggot, it it looked like a maggot worm thing. I mean, was it just that like the Potomac producers got like a two-for-one deal on like their stock footage? It's like, okay, we'd like to order three shots of alligators, two crashing waves, a dandelion that conveyed to black and white and I don't know maybe just like a dude needs more deer and they're like hey so you know if you order one more thing we're throwing a free maggot. Alright give us give us some ducks and to them. We got a free maggot. It's like hey this is where Michael and Ashley go

for vacation. You know what Michael has to have splooged on a rock somewhere. Can we just get footage of that see how that kid's doing? It's just like and Ashley go for vacation. You know what? Michael has to have splooged on a rock somewhere. Can we just get footage of that so you have that kids doing? It's just like trying to grow independently. It's like the reason it stands up in the first place is because it's trying to pinch the producer's ass. It's like, independent sploge. And independent sploge.

Oh, the sploge. That's independent. Hands up at me. So, guys, Wendy, there's some big news here. So they get in the car and Ashley has corona waiting for her, she's so excited. And then guess what Wendy says. I'm still recovering from kidney stone surgery.

Oh, really good. So much you can make it, Wendy. Hope you're good to talk about your kidney stones. Yeah, well, she was like, does anyone need some stock footage of my kidney stones for this scene? No, we got a maggot. We've got Michael's sploots doing some sort of a belly gants on a rock. We're fine.

It's like the slime from Ghostbusters too you know it's like responding to music. Yeah they're looking through a brochure of adventures that they could take from the hotel. Falling off of a cliff on a zip line oh my god that looks fun. Parasailing that looks fun. Listening to Wendy bitch about kidney stones. I'm into that one. Let's do that one. So, they cheers. She has to drink a lot of water. She's allowed to drink, but she has to drink a lot of water. So they're doing corona cheers.

And Ashley tells us that she's really excited to do some cultural things in Mexico because she loves Mexico so much. And then as evidence of how much she loves Mexico, they just put this goofy-ass photo on screen of Ashley and Michael Darby standing in the water with this giant dolphin in their arms smiling. And well, you know that dolphin's not happy. It's just smiling because it knows what it has to do.

You know that dolphin before, and I was like, all right, gotta make the people happy today It's like a fucking two more American tourists. Hi kids. I'm ready. I'm your dolphin for today production had to pay that dolphin the settlement after Michael fumbled it Not supposed to be big that this way Um, No! No!

I'm not gonna do it dolphin sound. I don't know either. I don't know if mine sounds like a dolphin or just like, I don't know, a typewriter. No, it's just me doing your robics. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m So then we go to oh by the way also I love that Ashley says yeah, we're really doing cultural things because we really want to protect Mexico And they show up and everyone's like a reba all Mexico. Is that how you say? Yeah, or like later when we like we want to really respect Mexico. We want to do cultural things So we're gonna stand in the lobby with maracas and greet people To Emily some brairos. Hey, can I be a tour to you, Chip?

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. So then we see the alligator again. And now we're at another airport. I'm assuming it's the airport in Mexico and things have happened. And he's like, I am so levied. And for a moment, I thought someone had spilled a cocktail on her stack of postits and I was like, well, there goes her business plan.

You know, I'll be mad too. And Robin explains, she's like, well, on the plane, we're trying to figure out what they were talking about. And I couldn't tell, but I could tell they're not good. And the cell takes over. She's like, usually, first class is people chilling, listening to their airpods, but this first class was Mia and Jacqueline screaming about how they mother their children Jacqueline was like it takes village and Mia said you ain't raising your kids right bitch what it was bad It was very very bad Robbins like you can tell it was like really pent up feelings like really no shit your lock

So then Mia's like then I don't care about her. Kansas that what she's saying. And Candace, oddly enough, Candace is really trying to be the peacemaker this episode. She keeps on saying, no, it's like a sister argument. You know, it's like, you know, it's like if a Trina and I were to have creative differences, it'd be that kind of thing. You know, it'll work out on the end. Okay. Um, and Candace also went at one point when she first got to the airport, Jacqueline went, oh, hi Candice and hugged her. And she goes, is that, I'm gonna hug you, is that weird and Candice goes, yeah, that is weird.

But now I guess Candice has warmed up to Jacqueline. So Jacqueline. Well, because now Jacqueline's mad at Mia. So now Candice, all of a sudden likes Jacqueline. Yes, isn't it funny how that works? So Mia's like, wow, she thinks I don't care about her. Candice, so here's what happened. Gordon came to Karen's live show and we're sitting there

and I said, why do you have a tent in your lap? And Gordon just said, but then he said that the man he is looking for even Lucas and I'm like, but Jacqueline sitting right here Those are her kids. Why doesn't she ask Jacqueline? Yeah, and Jacqueline was like, um, so she said she felt I had not communicated with my sister effectively And Mia being the controlling Mia wanted to tell me what I did wrong and didn't do right etc etc what I did and didn't do wrong so Mia is like and then she says that it takes it takes a filter raise a family but you wouldn't know that and it's hurtful knowing I didn't have a

village trees me and I feel like that was opportunistic of her and low, very low. So Mia's basically saying like the fact that Jacqueline saying, hey, you know, we all have to help out. That was, that was an insult because Mia was in the foster system as a child. That's bullshit. I don't think that that's cool that Mia can use like being a foster child against somebody, especially when Jacqueline and her mother were the village that raised you, you asshole. Like what?

Exactly. That makes it like 10 times as bad that she said that. Right, and that's why I think it's like, it's very rich that she's saying this when like the point is there are children who need a place where they can be taken care of. And like it's the easiest thing in the world right now because it's literally Jacqueline's sister taking care of Mia's kids. I understand you don't want people to take advantage of your generosity,

but like literally you're bringing Jacqueline onto the show to help you out right now. Yeah, and Jacqueline's sister is her village. So it's like you took her village to raise your citizens. It's all just fucked up. Also, I have questions here because it starts with my sister, her nanny, is calling me looking for her kids. Well, she's looking for her kids. What was she saying? I have your kids. So where are her kids? Like who has her kids. Is that the deal? Like I understand the question. You know, I maybe it maybe it really was like that

commercial. Maybe like she saw the commercial. It's 10 p.m. Do you know your children are and she's like, Oh, I am not sure I do know where my children are. I'm gonna call me a just in case. Maybe you know, my mom had the best response to that commercial. Whenever that came on when I was a kid, it was say, it's whatever a clock. Do you know where your kids are? She would go, who cares? That always killed me.

It's such a shady commercial. It's amazing that that was something that I would just air all the time. Like, oh shit, it's 10 o'clock. Where are my kids? Yeah. Oh, well. I'm dead. It's like Yeah. Oh, well, dead.

It's like cheese. Wow. It's a nice commercial. There's always like a skateboard. Like, I was like, a swing set swinging in a dark or something. Or like a skateboard on the side. It's like, by the way, check the storm gutters. There might be a clown down there.

10 o'clock VM, when all children decide to jump off their swings at the same time. Anywho, so Ashley is now pulling vibrators out of her luggage because she's going to give everyone a vibrator because she thinks it's a good time to do it and she thinks that there's some people who don't have vibrators that they should get them. So now is the time to get them. And then the other women are getting into their fucking snickers, fun size vibrator, by the way. I mean, what's that thing going

to do? It's like when somebody gives you like a little pocket flashlight. Like really, like, well, when someone gives you a very small novelty wedding veil, but Ron and you're really are just, you're really in line with this web episode. So then the other ladies are coming from the airport and they are rolling their bags to a bus. And this is where me is like sexy dancing. She's like, oh, Viva Mexico, a rapper. Oh, well, I am going to tell you who can't stand by me. And by the way, she's like grinding on the open door

of the van. Like, wow, like, is there anything sexier than someone just like unjulating on like an automatic window thing. Like, so yeah, she gets in into the van and they start heading to the hotel and this is where Karen comes into Ashes Room with a flashlight and she's like, well, excuse me, excuse me, I'm clearing my throat.

So, just to tell you how do I get a call from Mia and I take my assignments, there's serious layers on give it this flashlight, if you know what I'm saying, Teehee. Oh yeah, that was an obviously flashlight. Oh yes, they could do checkups on each other's VJJs. Yeah. So then on the bus, Candace is like,

oh my god, my Gucci is so hot. Oh my god. And she's like now speaking of Fanny Cuchy's, it's important because I'm Fun Candace this episode, okay? Do you look your vagina in the mirror at everybody? And Robin's like, oh my god, no Candace is turning into Mia. Yeah, she's clearly, Robin does not want to talk about this.

And then we cut back to the hotel and Karen has like a veil for rubbish. Basically has all these like little like funny joke gifts for everyone, except for a Sharise and Karen goes, Oh, you know, we don't have one for Sharise. Okay, we're good. Let's go. God is good. Let's go. That's fine. She doesn't need one. So then back with the other ladies, Robyn's like, I want to see Sharice and Rackt with Karen. Oh. And Sharice says, well, Thetal can this, that I put a dark cloud over the group. So I don't even know if I want to stay at the hotel. Weatherations, this is me, Therese. If there are four thieves in here.

The me goes, I feel like Sherees is fun. I'm like, yes. What part of Sherees sitting in the back seat sweating with a look on her face that says, oh, doesn't say fun. So Karen decides, oh yes, Sherees loves champagne. At least she used to. The season she built a champagne room

and then got fired. So she's like a small champagne bottle. I don't even know the woman anymore about small champagne bottle should work out. Is there a fly on your nose? No, I'm swimming around on you. I prefer not to use the word fly. I use the word boobs. Thank you. I'd prefer not to use the word fly. I use the word boobs. Thank you. So it's a city on my nose. It's broken. Oh, it's a private bit. Well, no, I don't like calling my breast titties, but I do like calling flies titties.

It's all about context. So then back on the bus, Shuris is like, I love champagne. So then the bus arrives and the lady Karen Ashley and Wendy are standing at the hotel front entrance shaking Miracca's at them. Yeah, I think they were able to do this because I'm not sure anyone else is in this hotel by the way, it is empty. This is an empty haunted hotel and they're all in it. They don't realize that there is massive doom awaiting them. So the women all come in, like, oh, hi, there's hugs and everything.

And Karen goes, wait, wait, wait. Now we're not gonna go change clothes right now. We're gonna go into the envelope room because we have a surprise for you. So they go down the hallway to some hotel bar or something that they've reserved this whole space for them and they're walking and they start seeing happy birthday because there's a little cake set up and everything and Karen goes, now this is how you do a birthday party.

It's simple. Nothing over the top just because it's important to celebrate a birthday girl right away, which was her way of being like, you know, fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Ashley's like, I just love these girls. They've been through, they've been with me through. Gosh, when I was just with Michael, when we opened that restaurant trying to convince

people can't greet, can't groom me with the new awesome blossom. Through that time, I was possibly faking the chef lately on camera. I made the times like what I made them go to a local gay pride celebrations. They could hear me sing coffee and sex for the good people of Surrey County, like the time Michael grabbed a production person's ass in Monique, May or may not have erased the tape of it. Oh God, what good times we've had to gather. So now, yes, now everyone's like sort of eating in this space and then Mia changes tables

and she says she doesn't wanna break bread with CNN, which is Jacqueline. Oh, sorry. I was seeing how much sodium this water had in it. Oh, I'm like 55 milligrams. A lot of soda sodium. Um, I don't know. Does this give a, does given our, our, our D a, recommend daily, two percent, two percent. Good call. Yeah. So maybe add some more. just given our RDA,

oh, two percent, two percent, good call. Yeah, so maybe add some more. Okay, I'll keep up, I'll try and get some more. You better at least, you want to get to 100%. Right, we do everything 100% on this podcast. Yeah, I definitely want some more sodium. So they do the happy birthday stuff and then me as set called her Satan and just like who is Satan and Jacqueline's like she was being a devil.

She said I don't have any friends. And he's like, well let me tell you something about a scurril. So we find everything and Jacqueline's like, uh-huh, look, I am crying now. This was the worst ever. Like, oh, that wasn't the worst. The worst was when you trying to break a brick over my head. And then you think Jackins could be like, oh, you're being ridiculous. It was a piece of paper.

She goes, that was 20 years ago. That's not where we are now. Okay, we're in a post-brick phase. I mean, I said, so I wouldn't let Jacqueline copy my math homework in 11th grade and she got upset and threw a brick at me. So this is like nothing I think you're like, hmm, and how does she deal with it when she does enough control Jacqueline? Does she, does she turn on you like a Shaw, Shaw, and me is like, well, I know turn.

I keep it 100 constant notes there. And you know how hard it is to like, fuck you bitch on a hundred constant notes. And Jackson says, well, I think she needs more dick and can't just what who has dick and to the me says, Oh oh, you would know you want to go in there. You want to talk about all your dick. Don't try me. You're feeling yourself too much. Back down. I'm saying, no, you back down. Just think keep your, your legs close and married. Man. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay.

Mia, does the second line that you've stolen this season, the first, of course, from big business when you tried to say as a frog's ass watertight. Okay, you can't do this. You can't steal other housewives. Not to hide these leaks. You can't. You cannot take Leigh Leigh's line. It's too iconic.

Yeah. So, um, then Shriis goes, mail it and she's like, yeah, that's what she does. And now Jackal's like, I'm done with you, I'm done with you. You sold yourself to the fucking devil. And Candace is like, no, you're sisters. Can we just be sisters? And Jackal's like, I have fought for you my entire fucking life every tooth and brick. I mean tooth and nail, okay?

And you would say this shit, you would say this shit. Check what I would never do is sleep with your fucking husband. And here's like, hmm, what? WTF, WTT, that's double what the kitty Mark my own rule with that one. Jack was like, I would never do this to you. I would never, Josh, I was like, well, she never said that you did that.

And she sounds like, where is the disconnect, I don't know where the disconnect is. Everyone's just like watching this like side show because they're not involved. They don't really even care that much. And it's also such a stupid made up fight You guys basically came on this show and told us that you're doing three social with Gordon And now Mia says close your likes to married men and Jacqueline's like you're saying I'm fucking your husband

Which even if she was you guys have already said it multiple times nobody cares you two Yeah, so now Candace is like take your friend outside. Take to Chris and I know why. I just like to choose your best friend. You brought her here. It's like well this is how she's been treating me for a while. For a while. And she's like just take her outside. She's very upset. So then Wendy is trying to be friendly with Jacqueline. She's, I have a sister. It's okay to be upset. And Wendy's like, Mia has a problem with me. She has a problem with Karen. And now

you're following out with your friend of 20 years. That's Guammy. That's all I'm saying. It's Guammy. And my kidney sound hurts. Okay. You've got a heart like my kidney. My kidney sound hurts. You've got a heart like my kidney. So now, you know, Candace, like, come on, Mia, she's crying. And Mia's like, I don't care. Remember, I don't do anything for her kids, even though they're at my house, eating my damn food. It's like, well, didn't she say that they're, they're not allowed to come?

I can't, I can't follow. Yeah. And Jacqueline's like, we have 30 years of friendship. Well, didn't you say that they're you're they're not allowed to come I can't I can't follow yeah and Jack I'm like we have 30 years of friendship and that shit's gone Generally and I'm gonna have to request that you put down that loaf of bread. It is not in fact a brick just put it right back down I'm thinking into my children and it takes a village. I didn't know what you used to build villages. Bricks, brick by brick. I'm just trying to demonstrate something.

So Mia says that she's very thankful and grateful that Jacqueline and her mom opened their door to her. So she's grateful, but is it an all-bound shackmark for Avar? I mean. Yeah, this is, I don't know why they're fighting, I really don't. It's stupid. And then Candace is like, this is a domestic issue and the police say that domestic issues are the most dangerous.

At least that's what they said when I clobbered Chris on the side of the head with my purse and they called them all sorts of unprintable names at a valet stand. I also would just like to clarify that a domestic issue is different than chasing someone with a butter knife at a dinner party that is not a domestic issue. So please don't use this against me. Um, so, at this point, by the way, Jacqueline's now doing that thing. It's like, it's very much like a regression to childhood where she's, her mouth is just like, first closed, but she's doing like, very intense, like, like, inhale sniffles, like, she's like trying to like, keep the cries inside, but that's like, the kids do when the,

when the teachers come in and separate everyone in class, and there's one kid in the corner, it's fine. I'm fine. So she's doing that for the rest of the episode. And then Candace was more of her witty Candace comments. First, before I dis-candace and her shitty comments, I have to say she looks adorable in that pink wig. She looks so pretty.

Okay. But then she's like, more surprises. I mean, you've got Ashley surprising us with her giant forehead. You've got Amia surprising us with domestic issues. I don't need more surprises. You have the same forehead is Ashley. Would you stop with the forehead shaming? Cut it out. Well, that's why she does it. She is projecting. So, you know what? Also has the same thing as something else. This show with Miami, because now they go outside to visit a shaman. Our second shaman of the week, I'd like to add. So, they go outside and count like, let's be open with the process. Sort of like what I told Ray on our first date, and it's my first time with a shaman. Just like I told Ray, it doesn't count if I'm just blowing Kong.

So, um, she says, I wanted us to clear our negative spirits, so I googled it, and I called a shaman. So, she's telling everyone, be respectful now, be respectful. And Candace is like, um, we came to the beach because you're going to let a random man with feathers blow smokingouse, mok and s. Yeah. By the way, the whole reason why I didn't invite, uh, Shariste in my live show is that I accidentally invited the shaman.

You know, I just write an S H A and C, but autofilter takes me. That's all in a simple mistake. So this guy has the best job on the beach. He's like, hold hands. What is your intention? Okay, bye. Oh, also the camera kept getting really close close-ups of Robin's terrible extensions. So I just want

to. Oh, I know. That was hilarious. There's a close-up on her track. And it also was funny that this show didn't even bother trying to make this into like a real holistic experience. Like, undialess and especially on Miami this last week, they really slowed down the whole show. And we're like, yeah, this is sort of silly, like new wave stuff, but actually it's meaningful. We didn't see them all crying and saying what they're letting go of, what they want to apologize for.

They just stood around the beach while tourists walked around, and then they just walked into the water. We're like, let's put our feet in the water. So Sheree says, I with happiness for everyone, because if you're happy, you don't have to be rude to everybody else. And Karen's like, I don't know why this has been leprechaun. I use Sherees keeps showing up looking for a part of gold, some coins, some food, some friendship, this stuff. Stop. Has been leprechaun.

So, Sherees is like, hello, is this the hotel at the end of the other end of the rainbow? Hi, you have reservations for tonight? So, Candace is like Jacqueline, go hug your sister. And basically, they're all doding over these two in their fake fight, right? And Candace says that she didn't really like Jacqueline at first, but now she likes her because she's truly confused

by her friend's behavior. And also I hate her friend, so. Yeah, more importantly. So Jacqueline's not willing to hug me. She's still crying. She's still holding it in. I kind of feel bad for her because she is really crying. She has really been rattled by this fight and she is not getting it together.

Now they go upstairs to go clean the get ready for dinner and everything. It's the usual calling home, face timing home, and Robin finds the little veil that Karen got for her and she's like, oh, it's a veil! I wanna put it in my hair! So then she goes outside to look at the view and the veil promptly blows away. I love to call with Juan.

He's like, hello, she's, is he here? And goes, yeah, are you in Mexico? Okay, I guess I'll see you tomorrow She goes okay. Oh, they gave me a bride to be bail. He's like Are we still are we still on the phone or okay? She said hey, what why do you keep poking the camera? I guess oh, sorry. I thought I was playing Wordl Okay wrong screen

I'm like, oh, sorry, I thought I was playing Wordal. Okay, wrong screen. So, yeah, Herveeau flies away bad sign. So then we get the survivor music again. When you boom. Boom. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, let's Karen do in the survivor song, sort of. It's Karen doing the survivor song sort of it's Karen gurgling

She's back to white Lotus so Ashley Jacelle and Karen go wait in a restaurant for everybody else and Ashley's like Did you did you, did you, did you, did you tell you I saw her on a date? It was a guy from your dad's birthday. And she's like, yes, Steve, he's a great, the guy, yeah. Yeah, and then, we see a flashback from when they went to New Orleans a few years ago and there's Steve.

So I guess, you know, I like that just a little dates for personality. And so, Jacelle's like, you know, she's like I like a guy. Sorry Steve No, I mean, it's not mutually exclusive to anything else. I feel like he probably has a great personality Nothing you're like wow, you know what? I love that Jacelle Like is open to dating like chunkier daddy war bucks with no money. I mean that was pretty cute. It was nice That was nice. Yeah, I mean I I have to say Jiselle's dating track record on the show has proven that she's really cares about Personality first I would have to say so let's just look at the tape. You see lots of men with lots of

personality lots of personality. Yeah. So they really cares right. So then I'll care. They start talking about Sharice because Sharice comes in and she's like, hi, Shasha. And she says like, well, hello, Sheree Sa. She's all excited because this is just a story line, you know, starting other ones. So we get this like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like the survivor drums. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, in Little Bird they had and I just don't know what to make of it because like I had my hand on Deans knee but then Michael had his hand on Deans knee and then we were just holding

hands. I mean have you guys ever felt that sublime sensation of someone's scaly skin that's also clammy, scaly and clammy, it's kind of sexy. I didn't really realize what was happening until I realized it wasn't Dean's meeting at all. It was Namex card and I won. Dinner's on me. I mean, I sort of thought, had second thoughts about this divorce the moment that Michael took my hand

and then guided it on tour, Nanny's butt. And I thought, wow, we could just fondle people together. So they're divorces bullshit, you know. And I like the reactions, like, you're toyed with a heart. It's herpivores. Oh my god, I'm trying to be a ring person, but I dropped my ring. I don't know. I can't be a ring person if I can't find it. Oh, is this your thumb ring?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You turn, you turn, you turn Northern Minnesota there for a moment. You're like, yeah, let me tell you something about a thumb ring. It'll roll. Jeez, I feel like I just tricked halfway across the country to pick you up, my dude. Oh my god, I'm a thumb ring person again back on my finger. All right There's something about there's something about talking about Michael Darby that just makes you want to go for a ring, right? My precious

Okay, what is something happening this scene? I'm getting bored. Uh, well nothing. So Wendy shows off her shoes like leans back and Ashley pokes out her tattoo I have five and I'm getting a six one. It's of my kidney stone It's the look on the doctor's face when he said you have another kidney stone You've got to take less take some more off your plate My next tattoo is the plate with the kidney stone My next tattoo is the plate with the kidney stone. I like that in Ashley's. Oh my God, Wendy, you have a tattoo. And she says, I have five of them.

Like, God, you people don't know me at all. Don't you know, you always get a tattoo after you get a degree? I mean, obviously. So now everyone's arriving to the table. There's food and you know food is common, food's going. Robbins like, whoa, I had this veil, it was really cute, but then it blew away and I was like, that's a bad sign. But my tracks somehow stayed in. Weird. Oh, so they bring them food and are like these are shrimp tacos, these are fish tacos, these are

a-bastore, and this is octopus and they're all like, ew! I know! They have such a reaction to Aji, but they acted like they had never even considered that I could be something that's eaten. Yeah, so um, carrying this like, oh yeah, even the veil was like, bitch you lie! Even the veil knew to get the fuck out of that room. Mm-hmm. It's true.

And then they present like the talk with the Juzella talks about how she has the flashlight. She's like, I got a flashlight. Because Karen said she wants me to get a car. Do wha! And they're like, ha ha. And Jack was just scowling. So then Candice asks again, she's like, well, the question was, do you guys look at your

vaginas? And she's like, yeah, I mean, I've looked at it since I have kids and stuff. And Candice says, yeah, well, I look now before the memory of it getting all stretched out, you know, I mean, and I thought I was pregnant for a minute, but I'm not. So it's good that I'm getting ready to restart IVF in a few weeks. They're all just looking at her like, mm-hmm. Great. They're not willing to help her out with the storyline. She's like, so, Hey, has anyone been to Los Angeles?

I needn't that the IV speaking of the IV have I'm on my IVF journey. Guys, anyone anyone asked me any questions about it? Storyline. Has anybody read the new issue of VF vanity fair. Oh speaking guys I'm just listening to my favorite Jack Jackson song if Speak of which if you put a V in between the those letters. I'm on an IVF journey guys. It's so crazy So they're hot because it's hot there. It's Mexico. So, Karen's, just a little ask Karen if she's planning any adventures for them. And she's like, absolutely, the activity person. She's gonna have you swinging from outside. So, just a little like, okay, well,

I have a confession match. Oh God, here we go. I did tell Karen that you posted that video, Sharisa, because you didn't get invited to the live show. Well, that's not totally true, because I didn't care about not being invited, especially because they're with a hoverboard convention in town at the same weekend. Karen's like, well, that's not exactly what you told me. And she's like, now when I posted it, did I think you didn't like it?

Probably not. I thought, probably you weren't gonna like it. She's, no, no, what I don't like is that you didn't send it to me. And you're constantly asking me what, we friend, try to we friends or something to that nature. And to me, it's like this is the perfect, funny, hilarious thing to send to me. Not that I would be friends with your ass anyway. I know. What a strange, what a strange manipulation she's attempting. And Karen's like, yeah, you're the one who's begging to be friends with my ass. And Shasha goes, let me be very clear,

which is always my favorite when someone does that. And Shasha does the little finger point where she puts the butt of her hand on the table, but the finger goes up sort of in a diagonal. Let me be very clear right in. And Karen's, I've been thanks dream to clear. And Shasha goes, I'm cool with us not being friends. I'd rather you be a woman, as you say you don't want to be friends, instead of going to other people, things stuff.

Well, excuse me, but no one has talked about your ass and years. And everyone's like, oh, she was and don't question my womanhood. Don't you do that question Questioning my woman on out. Nah. This is my favorite part of a Karen fight where she just starts making up things to be upset about. Yeah, where she'll find something

and use that as her exit. You know, get in and take it and use that as her exit out of the fight. So Shasha comes back with some pretty unassailable logic. When Karen says don't question my womanhood, Shasha goes, why not? It's like, oh, okay. So Karen's like, she's like, your big room, Sharice. She goes, well, you didn't, well, you're really gonna say I haven't called you.

When I was going through what the voice, did you call to say, hey, friend, how are you? I lost my father. Did you call me to say, hey, Sharice, how are you doing? No, because she hated you. Because you had already had the reunion where you accused her of fucking the the chauffeur or blue eyes Okay, she hated your guts. I don't call people. I hate and say oh my god. You're getting divorced. I'm sorry That's opening a door to listening to hours of someone cry that I hate okay So Karen's like Sharish you better tell them what I did. You better tell them and you tell them that a woman did it. And Sirice is like, Oh, you've set me a tax.

Yes, because I lost my mother is well and I simply said to you, banana, banana eggplant broken heart, cry face. And then one of those that tripled Z's's I still don't know what those mean. It was a very thoughtful set of emojis they're called emojis right and I liked them quite a bit and I thought you shouldn't like them too who is above and beyond. By the way this whole thing reeks of Bethany in Jill season three of Rony am I right?

I had there you not call me when Bobby was in the hospital. That's what I'm betting saying, no, I sent an email. I sent an email, okay, I sent an email. That's what this is. So when you said, of course, she didn't do anything because she hated her, in some ways, that is actually a defense for Jill Zaren. Yeah, but well, no, because Jill and Bethany

were still friends at that point. So it was shitty that Bethany was like there. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I don't know. I felt like we're lit again for a brief second.

Okay, we're done. No, no, I think that Jill had a point, but Jill came on that season just wanting to tear Bethany down because Bethany was popular and she decided she wanted to fight with Bethany and so she made it this big, huge thing and didn't shut up about it for 20 episodes. Yeah, like the time she had Bethany on the phone on speaker and like it was the ambush. Oh God. What a time to be alive. Anyway, Tha Tha. This is a Miyasato of that fight over here. So Tha Tha is like, you're really gonna say that I, oh yeah, I already said that part. Oh Tha Tha. Anyway, so Karen says, you know, like I all I have to give, that's all I have to give you was that line of emojis because I've lost my mother as well

and Shreece is like, and I throw and I will there for you. So basically, Karen didn't ever contact Shreeice because she hated her guts. And I hope by the way, just as like, it's true. She drove to you. Like thanks, Jizal. And Karen didn't, but Sharice was kind enough to come to Karen's mother's funeral. Okay. So just, Karen's like, just calm down.

I will say this to you. You keep my mama's knee mat. If you're a mouth, just don't calm down. Now I will say this to you. You keep my mama's knee better for your mouth. Do you want to stand up questioning my motherhood? And now what are you questioning my mother's motherhood? Two generations of motherhood being questioned. Go ahead. Yo mama, my mother's motherhood. I dare you.

Yeah, Karen is. Is her. Her teeth are going all around her mouth right now. She's very angry. Yeah, Karen has now realized her way out of this fight is to go down this path and to get really mad And so she whips herself into a frenzy and she's like, don't give me my mother It's been five years, you're doing it. but you will not do as fuck with my mother. I will whoop your ass. And Jacelle is like, I have no idea why I'm watching this Geriatric Fight happen.

No, there has to be a reason. Who's mad did she have sex with? One of your boyfriends, so Jacelle's just dropping bombs left and right in the interviews. Right, because Jacelle started this fight. That's why you're watching this Geriatric Fight. But you're not getting to the part that she wants Jacelle to get to. So now she's telling us the reason sheelle started this fight. That's why you're watching this geriatric fight, but you're not getting to the part that she wants Sherees to get to.

So now she's telling us the reason she set up this fight with Sherees and Karen is because she wants Sherees to say that Karen's been cheating. I mean, yeah. So now Karen's like on her feet and she's like, shut the fuck up. And she like bangs the table. So then Sherees bangs the table.

Well, I'm just actually Sherees bangs the table and Karen bangs the table. It's like a double banging and like, bang the table. So then she's, then she's, she's, she's, bang the table. Oh, no, I'm just, actually, she's, she's, bang the table, then Karen, bang the table. It's like a double banging, a bang, bang. And they're both on their feet. And Teresa's, she is now furious. We've never seen Teresa scream like this or get all out of sorts.

And, you know, then of course, we get the two to be continued. But I'm like, I'm ready. I'm ready to see where this goes. So funny. And now they're just screaming and I don't even know why. Like Karen is mad. You questioned her motherhood and then said something

about her mom. It's like, yeah. Just like a married to medicine. When anybody wants to fight, they just tell Heavenly, and you said, yo mama to me, how dare you. Yes, yes, it's just like the, I mean, it's as classic as the, you know,

you're being childish. The kids, child, children are off limits. Don't even call me childish. You know what I went through to have my child. How dare you off limits. Yeah. Oh my God. Well, everybody that brings us to the end of a paternal rank. We will be back every day, always. Go get your tickets because, you know, as we told you, there's new cities available. You'll find links for all of those tickets over at watchwotcraftens.com. The pre-sale code is crapens2023. We will be doing a couple of crapens on demand videos this week for Southern charm Southern hospitality rather and Salt Lake City

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